My parents want to play dnd and I swear to god they’ll drive me mad their characters are so funny
My dad is a black dragonborn named “Dark Komodo” who is a bard. The story he created is: “i lived in a swamp but I heard (favorite rock band) for the first time and began to swim to civilization and now I want to play like them”
And my mother is a wood elf named after that character from duck tales (apparently her name in english is Magica De Spell) who is a wizard. She created a whole backstory with “I was abandoned in this temple and raised by monks and now I’m a teacher of arcane knowledge”
I was never a DM before so I want to practice with them. I have a campaign ready but I think it’ll be too hard for them as I created it with my friends in mind… I’ll try to make something different then
18 notes
·
View notes
“we didn’t bomb the hospital!!” precedes to tell every hospital to evacuate so they can do it again
8 notes
·
View notes
What Happens If...? (TMWT)
What happens when an Army of Magic Dino Aliens snatch a Mutant Wizard Turtle and attempt to get information from it?
these stupid Dinos forget that Turtles come in bales, and they happened to hurt the most gentle, caring turtle among the bale.
and now, the three angry bros will have no mercy on these oversized reptiles.
what the hell did these supposed Dinos do to poor Don? well, I drew some of that too!
Firstly, they kidnapped her, which is NOT OKAY. they wanted to know where the Fugitoid was, and knew that Don and their brothers had harbored him!
and no matter how many times Don told them that Honeycutt was no longer on Earth, they didn't believe him! (how rude)
when they began to get rough with the turtle, they got defensive, subsequently tasing the Prime Minister, then desperately lunging for their wand that had been discarded on the floor.
unfortunately they were stopped by the big-ass lizards.
(her poor Bow! it's starting to come undone)
she was then held on her knees as the Prime minister revealed his own wand. why these Prehistoric Aliens had magic, no one will ever know, but the fact was, that they DID have magic.
And to one Adolecent Wizard Terrapin, this did not look like it was going to end well.
when Don still refused to tell them where Honeycutt went, the Dinos took... drastic measures.
It was not plesant.
Don called out to her eldest brother through their magic, and the eldest received that message, feeling and knowing what his younger brother was going through.
once Don had told the Triceratons everything she knew, they threw her to the side, booting up their systems to search for the robot. Don remained on the ground, afraid to move and draw their attention again.
(yes this is a reference to the Hermione torture scene from HP: Deathly Hallows Pt1)
and when the other three members of his bale showed up to find him so distressed, they were not happy.
not happy at all.
7 notes
·
View notes
Anyways last page of the current bedside notebook (i need to find another bedside notebook)
Sparky YES (she will unknowingly poison herself with the extremely toxic orokin coolant as well as from eating unsafe materials that are in the servofish/ make up the fish) (she will do it again)
6 notes
·
View notes
I love my dnd lesbians I love them so much and I can’t wait to have one of them die a horrible death :3
6 notes
·
View notes
people are calling what happened today in gaza “the flour massacre”
the flour massacre
these people just wanted to get food for their families, something as basic as flour, one of the things that the very core of humanity is built on, and israel used it as a trap to murder them in cold blood
evil is not enough of a word. there is not a word to describe what they are doing to palestine. they are bleeding her out, they are torturing her and crushing her and hoping that nothing is left to remember her by when they are done. how can anyone stand and watch what is being done with indifference? how can you watch this level of human suffering, this crime against life and feel nothing, do nothing
44K notes
·
View notes
We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes.......
jeef berky
117K notes
·
View notes
my grandma sent me a picture of my dog with his new xmas present and i need a fucking inhaler LOOK AT HIM
oh to feel a fraction of the unbridled joy he is experiencing
42K notes
·
View notes