#they need to know my blog is a fandom blog

[jikookuntold]

Jikook and the Untold Narratives

As a hardcore Jikooker who deep-dives into everything related to Jikook, I always have different ideas, theories, and analyses in my mind. But most of the time, I hesitate to contextualize them, develop them into actual essays, and share them in this blog. This post you are about to read was an almost a one-year-old topic running in my head, but I wasn’t sure about writing it until the Bangtan episode for D-Day Seoul concerts came out a few weeks ago, but as a professional procrastinator, it took me this long to write. According to the title this was supposed to be about the narratives related to Jikook, and I tried rooting and analyzing them, but somehow, it turned out mostly as a long rant about hypocrisy and misunderstandings in this fandom. Anyway, these are only my opinions and observations, and I don't claim to be 100% right. I hope you enjoy reading this post.

The Narratives

What do I mean by the narratives? Are there any narratives related to Jikook? Why did I even decide to write about this? Well, at some point I noticed that we, as Jikookers, have always been blamed for falling for "company narratives". It is widely said and believed by Jikook antis that the company wants to represent Jikook as the "couple/ very close and special duo" in BTS to the point that they call the Jikook ship the creation of Bang PD himself. A specific group of antis believe this is for hiding their real relationships, and the rest of them think it's just for fanservice. They think we are fools to fall for it because if Jikook were a real gay couple, they would hide it from us because of homophobia.

I know this is literally a conspiracy theory made by them, but conspiracy theories are also theories, and like any other theory, they have to be based on some external evidence. So, where is the evidence that leads antis to the conspiracy theory of Jikook being the “company couple”? Antis believe everything Jikookers get as moments, is company content, and this content is designed, faked, and manipulated to make us believe Jikook are a couple, and based on their logic, believing the things we see instead of their conspiracy theories means that we have fallen for company narratives. I can’t deny the fact that we get lots of Jikook moments from official content, but this applies to every other duo, not just Jikook. Then what is so special about Jikook that makes antis believe there is a narrative being pushed?

The answer is the nature of the Jikook moments we get. Some of the interactions between Jimin and JK are nothing like the interactions between the other members. The high dosage of couple behavior in these interactions is not justifiable with common excuses like Korean culture, flirty friends, or even KPop fanservice. Therefore, antis need to make up another excuse, which is the conspiracy theory of the company narrative. This narrative contradicts the principle of “Gays have to hide because homophobia, duh!” which their theory is based on. Also shipping culture in other boybands always insisted on the company and management hiding the gay relationship, not pushing it. And this is another thing that makes Jikook different and special.

Let’s deep dive into this contradictive narrative. Being the company couple doesn’t stop in the company narrative and spreads much further. Let’s imagine Jikook is the official couple that the company is investing in, to make fans and the general public believe they are special and gain more money from the narrative. Then the media should follow this agenda and use them together for headlines and clicks. Then fans also have to go with the flow and make their sub-narratives aligned with this agenda. But does any of this happen in reality? The following parts of this post is going to be a long answer to this question.

Company Narratives

Does BigHit/Hybe use Jikook? pairs the two of them together more than others? encourages them to behave in a certain way? includes more interactions of them in the official content intentionally? In order to answer these questions, we need to overview the official content provided by the company. First I have to clarify that not all the official content has the same weight in this examination, and we can classify them into different categories regarding the prevalence and accessibility to the public.

The first category can be called the public content. This type of content is usually free and accessible to everyone online with just a few clicks. These are the things you get when you type the names of the BTS members or songs in a Google search, like official MVs, Bangtan episodes, Run BTS, or live performance videos, that introduced most of us to the Bangtan world. The other category is a part of the main content that is mostly not for free, like documentaries, travel shows, Army zip content, seasonal packages, etc. This content is accessible in its original form to a big group of fans who can afford to pay or know their ways to pirate.

The last category is the content that not all the fans consume despite being officially released, even a big group of them are not aware that this content exists. This group of content might be free or paid, like Behind-the-scenes episodes of the main shows, official DVDs of the concerts, and memories of each year. They are like the leftovers of the main content that for some reason, didn’t end up in the public or main content, and only the dedicated fans or chronically online ones originally consume them.

Disclaimer: This classification was all done by me, and it’s not claimed to be official or accurate. Feel free to disagree and have your own categorization and conclusion. But what is the point of this classification? As I admitted earlier in this post, we get lots of Jikook interactions in official content released by BigHit/Hybe, same as the unofficial content like Vlives/Weverse, social media posts, livestreams, or fancams from concerts or award shows, which gave us so many incredible and unforgettable Jikook moments while they were not released by the company, but my focus is on the official content and how it’s connected to the narrative of comply couple.

If you pay attention to the ship moments, you will notice that they are not equally distributed in the different categories of content I named above. In the first category AKA, the public content, Jikook moments are not much dominant, and all the ships and duos pretty much equally have their moments overall. The second category is almost the same as the first one, maybe the Jikook moments in these two categories still feel more couply and spicy compared to the others but they are still balanced because the editors usually push the extra moments to the last category.

The last category which we can call as “leftovers” is where we get the most of the eyebrow raising moments of the original content, like almost kiss or hickey. It's the content all the extra Jikook moments that had to be cut out of the main content for balancing things up, end up there, and it’s the content not all the fans follow because a big portion of this fandom is not chronically online and do not have stan Twitter/X accounts or care about Twitter trends.  For me, the best example here is the second season of ITS and how all the organic Jikook interactions were pushed to the behind-the-scenes episode with viewers one-third of the main episodes. This doesn’t mean that the main episodes of ITS2 have no Jikook moments, they do, but not more than Taekook or VMin or Jihope, thanks to the modifications done by editors.

So, based on this analysis, can we say there is a narrative going on? I leave the conclusion to you, but I think there is no narrative here other than showing some fun interactions and closeness between the members. They have more of the Jimin and JK interaction moments because Jikook happen to spend more time together and interact more, and these interactions sometimes cross the platonic line regarding the nature of their relationship. I believe if BigHit wanted to palm Jikook off as a couple to the public, they wouldn’t push their couply moments into the content that the vast majority of fans don’t even know about.

Another thing we should keep in mind is that the leftover content is the most organic one, and unlike most of the moments from public or main content (for example the Run BTS episodes or Bon Voyages), there is no script involved. It’s just how members naturally interact and cameras happen to be there to film them. I’m not saying the first two categories are fake. In fact, I believe the majority of the BTS content we get is authentic, and even when there are scripts involved, it’s based on the natural dynamics between the members. If you have been following the members and listened to them carefully in the past decade, you know they are never being forced to do things together against their will, at least not after their rookie era.

Antis also bring up another argument to prove their conspiracy theory, and it is the argument that “Jikook have been paired together a lot”. I don’t have access to any reliable statistical information to confirm that Jikook had the most pairings between the BTS members, but if someone makes this claim, I can partially agree with them. This might not apply in all the eras of Bangtan group activities, but overall, this can be considered as a fact, and it has a simple explanation; Jikook get paired together a lot because they are the main/lead duo, and their vocals match very well, and they can work in sync and communicate perfectly. When a duo can do the job with great chemistry, without wasting time and energy for syncing and communicating, why the company has to give it to any other duo in the group? This is how things work in the entertainment industry, and there are no narratives and forces needed to be involved.

This is mostly about the vocal and dance projects or photoshoots Jikook have done together several times, and there have been no other examples except the potential travel show we know they filmed in 2023 that made antis stand on their conspiracy theory even stronger than before. First of all, we don’t know how and when this travel show will be aired and what agenda it will follow. Will it be this year or the next year? Will it be a whole series or just a 30-minute Bangtan episode? We know nothing until we get an update on it. We are not even sure if they traveled just for the show or if it was an excuse for Jikook to travel before their enlistment. I recommend you to read this post about an interesting theory on the travel show.

Okay, now let’s talk about the other narratives related to Jikook, the ones that were not conspiracy theories and were actually planned by the company. BigHit, as an entertainment label, debuted BTS with a narrative, and Jimin and JK, as the members and a duo, had their designated roles. At first, Jimin got the role of the macho man in the group who had to go through a physical transformation because of it. Fortunately, this harsh role changed after some time, and Jimin got a new narrative. This time, he was the awkward member who became the punchline of the jokes by losing every game, the member who got rejected several times and wasn’t supposed to debut at all.

These parts of the narrative were far from the real Jimin, but some parts were close to his real personality like he is the sweetest member, a hug and gift fairy who is there for the others. But even these positive features were misused and turned Jimin into a cheerleader and outcast who might get “left out by the heartless" bandmates he loves and supports. You may say I’m exaggerating, but these narratives are still going on to this day and feed his antis. These narratives were one of the main reasons Jimin’s successful self-made solo debut became a hard pill to swallow for the majority of fans ad even the company because they expected this triumph from any vocal line member other than Jimin.

As I said earlier, Jikook as a duo also had their narrative since their debut. This narrative was technically a roleplaying between them; Jimin was assigned to show one-sided affection to JK on camera, and JK’s role was to reject Jimin and rank him as the least handsome member. This narrative went on for some time until it stopped around 2014/2015, but the damage was already done. Some people might question this one-sided affection being a narrative by BigHit. I’m sorry, but if you think a teenage rookie idol in KPop can show real affection in public to his same-sex bandmate, the joke is on you. I know most fans believed this roleplaying, and that was where everything went wrong.

Antis may say this narrative by itself "birthed the Jikookers breed", while it did the opposite. Despite this narrative being over for years, its aftermath is still visible in the fandom, and even dramatic Jikookers use it for their “fell first, fell harder” agenda, which I find really toxic and damaging. Other than portraying JK as a mean and insensitive kid, this roleplaying with the help of the narrative of awkward Jimin, turned Jikook into something unacceptable and even cringe-worthy because “how could JK even like Jimin when he hated and rejected him for years? because Jimin is not likable and makes JK uncomfortable”. It’s ironic, but the antis who keep repeating these lies, are in fact the ones who fall for the company narratives.

If Hybe wanted to push the narrative of Jikook being in a relationship, why did they pick such an unusual approach that backfired, and turned fans against them, and drawn them to the other ships? Hybe not only doesn’t promote Jikook more than other duos but also stops them from becoming mainstream by pushing their moments to the content no one sees. Maybe this is their way of gatekeeping and protecting Jikook which I appreciate, but it’s time for this fandom to realize that Jikook has nothing to do with the company narrative, and in fact it’s the opposite.

For example, in one of the recent Bangtan episodes (public content), when JK was resting backstage at his music show, and Tae came to visit, according to the Weverse live JK had before the show, we knew they cut the part where he said “Army” was looking for his whereabouts because otherwise, it would look like he doesn’t care where he was. But in the other Bangtan episode, they didn’t hesitate to keep the part where Jimin sounded like being left out, meanwhile, we knew all of them were headed to the same destination to celebrate Yoongi’s last concert. because that’s the narrative they push, the narrative of Jimin being left alone and Jikook having nothing to do with each other.

If Jikook were the company couple, they would have sat down together to announce their ship name for the official content. If Jikook were the company couple, Hybe would not cut out their moments, and we would have gotten some content from their numerous rendezvouses during the SYS tour in the US and Europe, but we got nothing, not even for the leftover content. If Jikook were the company couple, Hybe would not released their buddy system announcement only in the Korean version of the statement. If Jikook were the company couple, the GCF videos that had started with Jimin, would have been kept that way, and wouldn’t be turned into ot7 videos. If they can’t force JK, then nothing is forced.

If Jikook were the company couple, they would not plan Yoonmin/Taekook's solo debuts at the same time to make them appear in the same promotional activities and namedrop each other. This doesn’t mean Yoonmin/Taekook are the company couple, in fact, the dumbest question is "Jikook or Taekook?" The whole point is, that there was never a ship agenda, they never tried to push any ship as the real one to the general public or common fans. But their bonds have been used a lot for clicks and clout, and as a Jikooker I am confident enough to say I was not the one falling for any narratives or mediaplay by the company or media.

Media and Jikook

It’s a known fact that all different forms of media earn money from public attention, this is what keeps them going on. I said earlier, that if Jikook were the company couple, and Hybe intended to promote them as the official duo, then the media wouldn’t lose this opportunity to chase the clout because in that case, they would have the permission to follow this agenda and use the duo for headlines and clicks, but in reality this doesn’t happen to Jikook.

I’m not saying that Jikook don’t get any media coverage, they do. The media inside or outside Korea make headlines for their duo activities like the Black Swan dance or vocal collaborations, but there are many examples that Jikook didn’t make it to the headlines while another duo did in a very similar situation. I bring an example from Dispatch that everyone knows has the closest connection to Hybe; when Jimin posted the shirtless photo of them together for JK’s birthday, this media didn’t make any headlines for it, not even as the announcement of Jimin greeting JK's birthday.

But when Tae posted the screenshot of his video call with JK the night before his enlistment, while they were both shirtless, it became a headline on the Dispatch website. If you check the Dispatch website for 2023, you will not find anything about Jikook other than their departure and arrival together for the Japan trip, even their trip together in NY was not worthy news for this outlet. Also their joint enlistment in the military, despite being the first and only case of Buddy System in the KPop industry, didn’t get much media attention or specific headlines.

Jikook have never attended any event as a duo, they never had a photocall together as a duo, and since they have never made an official name for themselves, the media can't use a duo name for them. Meanwhile, they can use “Taekook” for the Tae and JK duo in their headlines and tags because the company has permitted by making this duo name official. As I mentioned earlier, I do not believe that Taekook or any other ship is the official one, but the audacity of antis to ignore these facts and label Jikook as the company couple is just ironic.

I’m not really interested in giving examples from Taekook, but I have no other option. Everyone remembers the premiere night of the movie “Dreamers” in April last year when Tae and JK attended together and had their photocall moment. Like any other movie premiere with big stars, this event also was covered by the media, but they got the biggest attention and social media engagement because of Taekook appearing together. Even though the reports of JK being shy and having a feminine haircut caused Taekookers to think they were being announced as a couple lol, in general, it was a pleasant moment until it wasn’t anymore.

A few months later, in August, a similar event was about to happen, and the media announced that Tae was going to attend his friend’s new movie premiere along with JK. As expected, a big wave of social media engagement started, but JK didn’t show up. I don’t know if he never intended to go or if he changed his mind just before the event because according to Dispatch, his name was in the guest list. All we know is that he logged into the Bangtan official Twitter account after years and posted some random photos just an hour before the event and logged out.

After that embarrassing moment for the media, I was expecting them to stop using Taekook for mediaplay, but they didn’t stop, and again in November, the media outlets reported that Tae would attend JK’s solo concert while we knew he was busy recording his Running Man episode the same day. I’m sure the media knew it better, but chasing the clout was their priority. There are many other examples of how media doesn’t work in favor of the “company couple narrative” for Jikook, but I will stop here because this post is getting too long.

Fandom Agendas

When there is a successful narrative launched by an entertainment label, the fandoms go with the flow, and alongside accepting the main narrative they make their own sub-narratives aligned with this agenda. But in the case of Jikook, this is far from the truth. When I say fans, I mean the collective representation of a group supporting an artist, something non-fans see from the outside, not just a focus group. Yes, we Jikookers exist but we don’t represent or control this fandom. According to some unofficial polls, we are not even between the top three of the biggest groups of shippers. So, it’s safe to say the so called narrative of Jikook has not been successful. 

It’s not a secret that this fandom is against Jikook, but the discussion doesn’t end here. The sub-narratives made in the fandom have their own story. This opposition with Jikook contradicted their observations of them being close and always together, and they had to make the sub-narrative to justify it. But since they had already accepted another narrative made by BigHit, it wasn't a hard one. They decided that "Every interaction between Jikook is initiated by Jimin because he has always been in love with JK, and anything JK does is forced because he has always been uncomfortable with Jimin." This narrative and its sub-narratives caused Jimin to be labeled as the intruder and much worse names I will not mention, and it caused him to get so much hate, especially after every interaction he has with JK. It's true that he has the biggest fandom and the most devoted and supportive fans, but his anti-fans are also the biggest and the vilest ones.

JK also had his sub-narrative made by fans, and according to the vast majority of them, he is a straight playboy. I don't know where this sub-narrative comes from, maybe confessing to having a girlfriend as a teen or naming himself the "international playboy" did it for fans and made them ignore all the queerness in his personality and behavior, but this is the reason this fandom treats his "dating rumors" very differently even by his gay shippers. Army joke and say he is scared of girls, but they never make stories up about him being uninterested in women like they did for others (for example: an influencer asked Tae for his phone number, and he gave his manager's number, 100% fictional, but vastly believed as fact).

It’s actually quite funny when we see a local Youtuber is able to guess Jikook are the closest just by watching a few minutes of content, but the fans who have been here for a decade can’t and don’t want to see it, they can’t even let go of the 2013 jokes of “JK hates Jimin”, let alone accepting that they are close. They do any mental gymnastics they can to normalize, delegitimize, or ot7ify Jikook moments, meanwhile, when JK and Tae, themselves talk about drifting apart, fans dismiss it and call it fake. For example, last year, when Jikook were in Tokyo, JK was seen leaving the location of his shooting, which was a hotel different from the hotel where Jimin was staying, antis said: “They hate each other, to the point they can’t stay at the same hotel”. While a trip would have been solid proof for any duo in BTS to be close and in love, for Jikook, it becomes the reason for being distant and despising each other, and this is the hypocrisy of our fandom.

Maybe we get lots of Jikook from official content, it’s the outcome of Jikook’s closeness, but in the end, it’s Jikook themselves who confirm it with their behavior. When antis were celebrating Jikook not interacting, amid their lack of public appearance, it was JK who showed his love and support for Jimin by streaming his videos on YouTube. When antis claimed they don’t spend time together, it was JK who begged Jimin in his half-naked live to join him. He went live at his place right after the movie premiere, and musical theater, and explained the situation after Vhope did a live there. He explained Tae's claims about recording Layover at his place and talked about his delightful alone time when he was at the ski resort with Tae and his friends. He read JeonJimin comment out loud and announced that he wouldn’t stop holding Jimin. Maybe an older example is his post on Weverse right after the 2020 Taekook live apologizing for not talking much, and then a month later, when he went live with Jimin, he made it clear that he had a great time just doing the live.

These examples are countless, but there is no hope for the fans who even label the moments from unofficial content like lives and posts as planned or even forced by the company. If you think antis will let us have a happy day and enjoy the legit Jikook moments, you are mistaken. If there is Jikook, they always find a way to ruin it with their toxicity, and if there’s no Jikook, they use it to hurt us and spread their lies and fake moments on every social media platform.

Antis have the upper hand in social media because Hybe failed the so-called Jikook narrative, and it not just didn’t become the mainstream ship of Bangtan, but also fans turned against it. Despite this failure, Jikook still bothers antis so much, and they try hard to fight it and its shippers, but these fights and attacks are limited to social media. Whatever they do on social media, the hashtags they trend, the lies and hateful tweets and comments they leave out, are not gonna affect what Jikook have in real life because Jikook are real people, and against all the odds and real struggles, they are together and closer than ever.

[lordprettyflackotara]

the sturniolo tumblr community is quite literally a dumpster fire right now so i am going to put out this disclaimer as to what my opinion is and what you can/cannot expect from my blog going forward:

1. writing about an actual human being (not a character from a show/movie/fiction), without them acknowledging fanfics and being okay with it and/or not caring, is NOT okay! so NO i will not write for nate or read any fics ab him. bc like what is there to simp over? what do we really know about nate? & besides that shit, he has not consented to being overly sexualized on the internet. he is literally a random motherfucker who half of you would not recognize if he walked past you on the street.

2. i think a majority of us are on the same page on this one but get the old ass motherfucker who wrote a fic about her and matt when she’s middle aged the actual FUCK away from my blog & my face. i don’t even need to elaborate on this one.

3. the death threats yall send around this fandom are insane bc is it ever that deep🧍🏻‍♀️. we all just happen to be fans of three white boys and yall out here sending death threats? over what? i hate to be that person but please go outside. 🚨it is okay that not everyone thinks alike🚨

4. writing smut male x readers for chris/matt and smut female x readers for nick is morally wrong and i will not write them! absolutely the fuck not!

5. deepfakes are crossing the line and not okay. dont ever bring that shit my way, get a fucking grip

6. this is probably the most popular controversy im seeing right now. it is okay to have the opinion that the triplets content is declining. it is okay to think its not. it is okay to be disappointed in the decrease in content. ITS OKAY TO HAVE A FUCKING THOUGHT.

in conclusion: you bitches are going to make everyone go bald if you keep this dumbass shit up

i’m not leaving the fandom by any means but i am definitely going to take a step back for a bit (not from you my beautiful mutuals mwah) & spend some time writing for the other fandoms i am in that are not being engulfed in flames. with all my love, tara

#matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

-

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

#ao3 #lore.fm #fanfiction #fandom history #gift economy #caelum rambles

[leighways]

I don't savor having to address serious topics on this blog, as this place is a scrapbook of my time in the fandom and therefore more relaxed than my forward-facing accounts. However, I've recently been made aware of an issue that's been on-going all year, so I'm gonna quickly say my piece, then dive back into my WIP folder so I can have some cool shit to post for y'all during pride.

When you choose to deadname a trans person bc you don't personally like them, you're reinforcing the idea that respect and acceptance in relation to identity are conditional, rather than an implicit part of the human experience.

So this?

This stops right now.

My name is Leigh. It's in the description of both my blogs, as well as their respective pinned posts. I came out as trans over two years ago, after which I publicly changed my name and the url of my page so it would reflect my new (correct and current) identity. You and your friends have been told twice this year by the ppl who saw your tags and informed me of what you were doing that your behavior was unacceptable, yet you refuse to correct it. I don't care that we don't like each other: this will be the last time this happens.

Don't go looking for this person. I have them blocked for this reason and I'm not looking to interact with them now. All I want is to have my personhood respected on a very basic level.

Just btw tho? You don't need to tell the world that you hate me. Like .. you're deadnaming me. Everyone already knows how you feel.

#leigh.txt

[virune]

i hesitate to call fandom a "community" anymore because so much of the culture now is to just. block people you don't like (usually for petty/insignificant reasons) and stick to your own bubble. and i mean, i DO think that's helpful advice when it comes to navigating a space with so many different ideas and opinions, but there's also definitely this air of like. one strike and you're out. something you said gets misinterpreted or twisted and you can't get people to listen to you once they've made up their mind. people harassing each other over, like, ships? not even objectively bad ships, just like. crack ships or rarepairs that are definitely not and never will take the popular ship's crown or anything but oh man will they vaguepost about you for liking it! how can you even be sure you know who to block when you never really give anyone a chance?

i dunno man, i just. it's all so ridiculously petty, y'know? last time i was here, back in 2022, i got swept up in it too. i had a private blacklist of people who were unpleasant to/about me, but had to bite my tongue when my friends interacted with them because i didn't wanna be That Guy and my problems shouldn't affect my friends. i blocked people who "annoyed" me for literally the stupidest reasons, like i was SEEKING to be annoyed by people just so i could press that block button for a weird, twisted sense of satisfaction. i definitely carried with me some unhelpful thinking patterns. i was an asshole. i feel terrible for it now, so i'm focusing on being a kinder, more patient person.

and then i had to step away due to a health issue. this was in december of 2022. i chose to delete my blog to remove the temptation of coming back while i was recovering, and it definitely helped. i had planned to come back sooner, maybe sometime in 2023, but i needed more time than i realised and didn't come back until about a month ago. and you know what? my perspective has shifted. i think spending so much time out of this digital box really helped reset my brain. i don't block people now, not unless they're actually nasty. i just don't care enough anymore. i don't even have a problem with the folks who were unpleasant to me in the past. instead i'm choosing to be empathetic because i know what social media addiction can do to you - i've been through it too! it can make anyone worse.

i wouldn't say i'm a part of fandom anymore, not like i used to be, but i still enjoy sharing my art with all the wonderful people in it. i still enjoy chatting with my friends, and even making new ones, hopefully. but i have to stick to my own proverbial island, for now, and hope the right boats sail by.

#watch out my brain's doing a big think right now /lh #just needed to vent my feelings on fandom stuff and why i don't get as involved as i used to #i think fandom is a very different experience when you're young versus when you're an adult #because you just get so fatigued by all the high school-esque nonsense once you have bigger responsibilities in your life #i have to worry about finding livelihood with a learning disability i don't care that two made up guys are kissing or whatever #i put this under a read more since it's longer than i expected haha. you don't have to read it if you don't want to!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Sorry if you've already talked about this but I just found your blog and I have a question. I basically stopped watching the show and Gang of Secrets but I'd like to know your thoughts on how the show handles secret identities?

Personally I really like secret identites as a trope and the way you can use it to make different character dynamics, and I feel like the show underutilizes it at best and at worst seem actively annoyed by the constraint they gave themselves.

Like this is somehow a show where when Alya and Nino found out each other's identities, it directly contributed to them each getting taken out in Heroes' Day, and when Marianne got Akumatized she instantly spilled the Guardian's existence, and both time the two leads have had identity reveals it lead to a world-destroying catastrophe, and yet half the fandom and seemingly the writers act like it's at most and inconvenience?

Let me know if I'm off or seasons 4 and later do anything to contradict me but it was one of my issues at least and I felt like there were so many fun things they could have done with the set up. Sorry again if this is too long/rambly or whatever lol

Long asks are fine! Heavens knows I tend to make long posts. It's why I use the queue instead of just posting things as I get them.

Anyway, secret identities and identity shenanigans are the things that brought me to this show. They're nothing new in superhero setups, but most shows in this genre have the identity stuff as more of a fun bonus element than the main focus. The idea of a show that was more centered around these concepts via a romance plot sounded like a blast!

It has not been a blast.

The main problem with the identity stuff is that the show's guiding rule seems to be maintaining the secret identities at all cost because a reveal means no more love square and, at this point, it's pretty clear that thy're going to drag the love square out until the bitter end. This means that they actively avoid anything which puts them into a position to push a reveal. The problem with that is that the love square isn't some cute running gag that has no real impact on the plot. The love square is the show's main focus, so you cannot treat it the way you normally treat an identity shenanigans setup.

To give an example for contrast, the show Phineas and Ferb has a running gag involving the titular characters' pet platypus Perry. Unbeknownst to the boys, Perry is a secret agent who saves the world on a regular basis while his "owners" remain oblivious to the fact that Perry is anything more than a normal pet platypus. It's a good running gag because there's no reason why the boys need to find out Perry's secret. There is no overarching plot that's in limbo until this moment happens. It's just a silly thing that could be completely removed from the show without any major impacts.

Consider the difference between that and the love square. You remove the love square and you have a wildly different show because the love square isn't a gag, it's a plot and plots need to progress to feel meaningful. Marinette and Adrien should be growing closer on at least one side of the masks and they should be doing so in a way that makes it feel like the reveal is drawing ever closer.

For example, the fact that they're now dating should be a source of tension. The last time these two dated someone, they both ended up single due to the lies that come with a secret identity. But while Lukanette and Adrigami both lasted a few weeks at most, Adrienette got a whole season without a single identity-based conflict because acknowledging the identity conflict means progress on the reveal and we can't have that because the reveal is apparently being saved for the end of the show.

We don't even get much in the way of developing their relationship because letting them grow closer in a meaningful way means knowing more about each other which, once again, means that a reveal becomes inevitable. This is probably why we got the Derision retcon where Marinette suddenly couldn't talk to Adrien while dating him. No talking means no growing meaningfully closer means no reveal.

It's incredibly frustrating because reveal plots simply aren't structured to be long running plots. This is why most identity shenanigans media either focuses on the reveal and ends up relatively short (ex: the movie You Got Mail) or does the running gag thing where the identity stuff is a source of comedy, but the actual plot is something else that would technically work perfectly fine even if you removed the identity hi-jinx (ex: the anime Spy X Family).

When it comes to the love square, my preference is to take the first option and make it resolve within the first few seasons, but if we must draw it out until the show's end, then I would make all of the following changes to turn the square from a serious plot to more of a running gag:

Do NOT let Chat Noir confess. Instead, make it that he's always setting up romantic dates or confessions for Ladybug that end up stopped because of an akuma or fans or whatever. This would make Marinette's ongoing failures feel more balanced as they're both doing the same thing. It would also turn the confession into more of a comedy element instead of a dramatic one.

Focus more on plot elements unrelated to the love square, distracting the audience from the romance with shinny subplots like a Lila take down.

Don't have the secret identities be a source of conflict. Have Chat Noir totally uninterested in a reveal.

Have Hawkmoth be someone other than Gabriel. The less serious the show's basic setup, the less serious audiences will expect it to be

Of course, all of those are pretty massive changes to the show's basic setup, which is why I say they should have just let the reveal happen. Then they could have actually let all sorts of fun moments happen as we build to the reveal because it's no longer a thing that they writers have to avoid. As someone who has written multiple stories with a reveal, the fun really is planning it all out so that the tension and/or the comedy builds and builds to a dramatic crescendo where everything feels oh so satisfying.

When you live in fear of the reveal and awkwardly shoehorn things in, you get boring things like Gabriel's identity being leaked from a random play, Marinette's crush being revealed by freaking Andre, and Nino's identity reveal leading to nothing interesting because it can't because then we'd be drawing closer to a love square reveal and, well, you know the drill. It's also why you get messed up crappy episodes like Chat Blanc and Ephemeral. Episodes that are just there to prove that the reveal is a bad thing you shouldn't want!

There actually is solid logic as to why a reveal might not be the best move, but we don't even get to see that discussed. Chat Noir just pushes for a reveal because love while Ladybug stays focused on risk mitigation and it's so boring because a good show would let them have an honest discussion of the risks verses the rewards to help drive the conflict leading towards a reveal as a lot of the rewards are only realized if these two already know each other, which is a great tension build! But we can't build tension like that because then you'd be letting them have actual team dynamics where they talk about things and talking about things means bonding which means a build up to reveal and I think you know the drill by now...

This was a bit of a ramble, but hopefully it addressed your question! This is a broad topic that has a lot of ground to cover, so feel free to clarify if you wanted my thoughts on something else. I love identity reveals, so I am happy to babble about them. There's nothing more satisfying then setting up a good one, even if it takes tens of thousands of words to make it hit just right!

#ml writing critical #ml writing salt

[arlerts-angel]

˗ˏˋ( FICS FOR GAZA )ˎˊ˗

i've joined the writer's portion of the @ficsforgaza initiative to help raise money for vetted fundraisers to aid the people in gaza! 🤍 i am beyond grateful for this opportunity. for more details + information, please consult the blog directly.

( HOW IT WORKS )

⤷ REQUESTS

make a donation towards aiding gaza and send me an ask OR dm* ( WITH PROOF ) + your request.

ex: hi mack! i donated (amount) to (fundraiser) and would like to request ... (please include a screenshot of your donation with sensitive information redacted)

*if you'd like to make an anonymous request, you may DM me your proof of donation — otherwise, anon requests are not accepted due to the inability to post media while anonymous.

⤷ DONATION

100 words written for every $1 donated, up to 800 words. ($8 maximum) anything i write past 800 can be considered my gift to you for donating. 🤍

( NAVIGATION ) continued under the cut.

⤷ REQUEST RULES

i write x reader only. (n)sfw requests are allowed. you must be 18+ to submit an nsfw request + have an age indicator on your blog. click here to see my will's and wont's.

⤷ FANDOMS

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⤷ FICS FOR GAZA DIRECTORY

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⤷ DISCLAIMER

★ please refrain from submitting proof of donations that do not belong to you. it is deceptive and will get you blocked. i will be submitting each and any screenshot to a google form to ensure the legitimacy.

i, like everyone else, have responsibilities that supersede tumblr/writing. i do my best to publish requests in a timely manner. there is no deadline — the main goal is to donate and help people/families in need.

⤷ FROM MACK

please do not feel pressured to donate! as a sahm, i understand money can be tight. if you happen to have some extra $ and would like to donate - get yourself a fanfiction out of it and the joy of knowing your money is going to a good cause! 🤍🇵🇸

if you read this far, THANK YOU! reblogs are greatly appreciated! 🤍

#fics for gaza #writers on tumblr #free palestine #free gaza

[kasienda]

2, 4, and 5 for the writer asks!

2. what's a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

Invisible Wounds - Sailor Moon - AmiZoi

So... I self inserted myself into this fic as Zoisite's mother. Not because I feel any super connection to Zoisite, but because I figured that was a really really easy way to make her feel real as an original character with just a line or two of dialogue here or there. She's a minor character. Like super minor. But since she's me, I gave Zoi's little brother the same disorder as my son (when I could have picked ANTYHING else). And like, it's a life limiting condition and for plot reasons I needed his little brother to die. (Do you see where I'm going with this??) So I did a ton of research specifically into how my son's disorder will eventually kill him. And then I wrote the fucking scene. Let's just say I cried doing the research, I cried writing the scene, and every now and again I go back and read it and cry all over again. Like WHY would I do this to myself? (I think it's because I needed to know, and doing it for a fic meant I could pretend there was a layer of psychological defense, which there absolutely wasn't).

The ironic thing is the research that killed me for this piece is for an unposted chapter near the end of the story. And it's getting increasingly difficult for me to work on this story because it is a medical drama centered around an epidemic that I started writing in 2016 before pandemics were a part of my daily life. And it's not that writing about an epidemic is hard/dark, so much as it feels like work, instead of an escape. So I'm not sure anyone is even going to get to read the scene! (But I got a comment on this story a few weeks back and I reread a lot of the upcoming bits, and it's sooooo good. It's a story that deserves to be told... too bad I don't currently have those mental emotional spoons).

4. what fic of your own do you read for comfort?

Best Friends and Boyfriends - Miraculous Ladybug - Adrino

This is the most self indulgent fic I have ever written in my life, and when I'm low and just want to smile and laugh, this is the fic I go to most often. I lvoe the relationship, its development, the conflict, the make up from their fight, and the reveal! And it is the perfect length to get some development, and still be read in about an hour.

And honestly, I can reread almost any of my fics. I will often pick the one that I haven't read in the longest amount of time (also depends on what I'm in the mood for), and then sit back and kinda just be amazed that I wrote the thing? It's crazy. But I love that I have my own little library that is kinda tailored just to me!

5. what fic of your own won't you read?

I don't know that I have a fic I won't read. (See above), but the one that comes closest?

Anything to Protect You - Sailor Moon - Usamamo Fake Dating

Now, I'm actually insanely proud of this fic, and to this day think it's one of the better things I've written. It's got one of the best kisses I've ever written, some positively adorable dates, one of the best battles I've ever written, and a really satisfying reveal moment!!

So why don't I like to read it? Because I hated writing it!! It was a gift for an exchange and so it had to be finished. And it was tailored to my giftee so perfectly and I was excited about THAT, but it was late and ended up taking up a good six months. Actually, one of the things I LOVE about this fic is that it really taught me that I could 1) be disciplined and finish the things I wanted to finish whatever my brain had to say about it (ha!), and 2) could write a really good story even when I myself wasn't invested.

I do occasionally reread it and am floored by some of the moments in it, but it also brings up all the feelings/memories of obligation and forcing myself to work on it when my heart wanted to work on other things. So I think I resent it sometimes that OTHER things didn't get finished instead (like Invisible Wounds!!). But on the other hand, I'm really really glad it exists as well. And clearly this one is going to be read by way more people than my rarepair content ever will. Feelings are complicated.

Thank you @karkalicious769 for the ask!

Send me some Deep fic writer Asks!

#life of a writer #writing reflection #my angels and demons #ask answered #ask me anything #sailor moon #miraculous ladybug #fan fiction #seriously I need more of these to scare away my new followers #they need to know my blog is a fandom blog #well - primarily anyway

[solanj]

#rogue trader #heinrix van calox #theciya von valancius #solanj art #heinrix x von valancius #just a little something to cheer myself up #I feel a little bad for fandom tagging a piece which from the outside probably isn't even recognizable as fandom #but I need those tags to be able to navigate my own blog #sorry! #also I'm so insane about these two you have no idea #can I have at least an itty-bitty portion of my brain back? #please? #Owlcats? #Anyone?.. #I really need that brain to do stuff you know #like work #and certainly NOT to be daydreaming 24/7!

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

thinking about when keating asks the purpose of language and neil says “to communicate” and keating goes “no! to woo women!” like?? did you expect neil perry of all people to guess/resonate with that?? you know just as well as i do that mf is a homosexual.

#neil is like “??? why would i wanna woo women?? i just wanna woo todd??” #anderperry #dps #dead poets society #neil perry #john keating #todd anderson #neil x todd #dead poets honor #god i remember when the dps fandom was so small that i became a relatively big dps blog #now look at me #a no good phannie account #i am in fact a multifandom account i have never been a dps account or a phannie account #but being a big name in the dps fandom was way more admirable than the phandom #no offence phannies i love you with all of my heart #but you’re all as ashamed as i am to be in this boat <3 #i need yall to know that at the end of the day #other than lotr #my loyalty lies with dps #my username on letterboxd and ao3 are both from dps #and dps got me writing again #ok i can’t turn this into a dps retrospective i literally wrote a ten page paper on my relationship with dps like 8 years ago #also dps/anderperry was a big part of my sexuality journey OK IM DONE #yeet my deet

[duskerot]

i disappear inside myself / my friends don't know it can't be helped

[Pure You - Nothing But Thieves]

#my art #mysme #mystic messenger #v mystic messenger #jihyun kim #ummmm hi guys #^-^ #fanart from me?? posted directly to this blog ??? or at all??? Well. #i was looping this song and i had the idea for this and then sat down for about four hours and here it is #im on like day 2 of v's route for the first time AND this song just came out like right as i got into his route yknow #and i was listening to those lyrics like.... huh..... #this soundssss. familiar. #anyway. politely i did NOT think that if i made fanart of this game after returning to it for the first time in like 6 years. it would be V #i adore this song though. and it compels me #i havent ever seen his route before so i still don't know how it ends idk how accurate this vibe even is #i would say try to avoid spoiling me in the tags but im gonna be real say whatever you want kings #i love u mysme fandom thats still around in 2024 you get me #anyway im drafting this at about 3 in the morning and i need to be awake earlyish tomorrow SO. #we'll see when i post this #its been so long since ive posted art i just do nawt make fanart until i get divinely inspired #iffff its blurry please click to see it its supposed to be crisp ^^; #been on this site how long i still pay no mind to their suggested image resolution #OH and by day 2 of V's route i mean like day 6 overall. you understand

[sketchy-tour]

Happy Easter if yall celebrate it!!!!! Otherwise I hope yall have an absolutely fantastic Sunday!!!!

Aaaa I feel like I'm not as chatty as I once was on here. Been a bit all over the place! Also feel silly making a ton of text posts with no art so I try and limit how often I blab on here.

But just know I still appreciate all of you who follow and like my art! Every bit of interaction I still see and it still baffles me to see such kind words. It means the absolute world to me!!!! 💖💖🌻

#plus Ive been drawing other things between wh art #but I know no one here would wanna see my original character art. Which is so okay im not lamenting that! #this blog was always meant for fandom stuff! but ya know. if im drawing other stuff it means my fandom art slows down slightly #still need to get back in the groove with drawing Dandy #really hard not to feel discourage ever since dealing with them being used without my permission (Which has already been long since handled) #but I havent shaken off that upset I felt. Made me all tol hesitant to even post Dandy anymore. #course also kinda put a damper on my fun #OH IM RAMBLING! venting??? this isnt about that #shaking my head and clearing clouds!!! anyway! needless to say im trying. i hope you guys dont mind being patient with me #happy easter! #or uh happy sunday!!!! if you dont celebrate! #OH AND HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY!!!!!! #Wow my tag rambles are all OVER THE PLACE #text post #just rambling #ill shut up now 💖

[skyward-floored]

actually I really hate being considered a big blog. if I said I only have 10 followers would anyone believe me

#rambles from the floor #rant fueled by weird emotions incoming watch out #feel free to ignore (in fact please do I’ll probably delete this) #I think I’m getting worn out by this fandom #or something idk #I don’t like being big #there’s that whole intimidation factor that comes into play that I DESPISE #‘well you have a lot of followers so you’re scary’ why???? #why does other people deciding to follow me make me scary #I don’t understand #plus I always feel like posts about big blogs are vagueing about me #even if they aren’t #and everybody always NEEDS to know my stance on fandom crap and I get political asks for some reason and #and #*falls on the floor face-first* please just treat me normally guys #I’m twenty [redacted] years old and I’m barely holding my life together as is

[bookwyrminspiration]

my college professor has one of my sideblog urls now so she can grade my tumblr posting for fandom class. and i'm not even joking

#shitpost #quil's unholy underworld #sorry it's just so wild to me that i'm like. damn. i need to think about that again for a second #it's an empty blog currently but. guess I gotta vamp it up a little cause I have to. you know. actually use it now #in the intro discussion board we're all listing some fandoms. talking like we're on social media #it's really fucking with me (not in a bad way just like??? hello???) #i've never been in a class with that vibe it feels unreal. my PROFESSOR has my TUMBLR for CLASS

[intotheelliwoods]

I got new glasses finally and my brain is ooaoaoaooaoa ooao um adjusting (im having a time)

#nonsense #I needed new glasses so bad #my old ones were straight up being held together by DUCT TAPE #but are the new duct tape free glasses worth the 3 day brain pain we will see #btw if you ever want to know what I look like I deadass look like chicken little #that meme of “stop saying I look like chicken little” but you see I actually look like chicken little and I am very much a coward #I know if I focus on 2al that will hopefully distract from the new glasses pain #.... do I post this on main or my goddamn turtle blog. #..... do I post this on my few hundred followers blog or my few thousands followers blog hmm. #god I really need to do a follower milestone thing #again probably maybe a dtiys #but uhhh ummmm erm after the twist how about that #anyways hello fandom sideblog my beloved how are there so many of you following me #what #WHAT what #slowly but surely getting used to the idea that im a “big” blog oops #im literally chicken little #why am I big #am I chicken big? #im chicken big. #goodbye #enjoy tag ramble

[pastafossa]

how long did it take for your fanfiction to start getting some recognition? did you "advertise" it or "promote" it in any way?

i know that people say this doesn't matter, but i feel like even if you love writing the feeling that you're just talking to yourself gets pretty exhausting at some point. so i'm not talking about having thousands of readers but rather like. what's your advice to have readers at least?

- someone who hasn't even started writing their ideas yet...

LONG POST INCOMING.

First I want you (and everyone else reading who may be struggling with this) to know I'm absolutely with you and generally think 'it doesn't matter' is a horseshit answer. It's this weird thing we do in fanfic that we generally don't apply to other artforms that I've seen. If you're a painter, a playwriter, a novel writer, and you say, 'I want at least a few people to love my paintings, I want some people to come see my play, I want my novel to be published and do at least ok' we all support them, we nod, we agree, we talk about how they can do that successfully. It's considered normal to want some amount of success. But hold up fanfic instead and it becomes, 'how dare you want that praise, you're being egotistical, you should be writing only for yourself'. I'm not saying you can't do that - there are some who do - but it's definitely this bizarre switchup to say there's this single artform in which we can't want attention on our work and that there's something wrong with us if we do. That can be an absolute creativity killer depending on what kind of writer you are (hi, extrovert writer here who only gets writy writy juice from social interaction - aka comments and discussion. So I totally get it being exhausting just doing this on your own).

So let me say this categorically: you're allowed to want things. You're allowed to want kudos, comments, and hits. You're allowed to want messages and asks. You're allowed to want some readers you can talk with about your story.

You. Are. Allowed.

Ok, now that that's out of the way.

Edit: more below the cut cause I didn't realize the length of this on mobile

TRT definitely didn't get popular overnight. The first four chapters were sporadic, and then I took a hiatus due to life things for a couple years. During that time, it kept slowly ticking up bit by bit on AO3, with occasional comments. Iirc it was hovering somewhere around 700 kudos by the time I came back in Jan 2021 - and that's a awesome! It's big! But it's also a number that was gained over a few years, to put it in perspective. It absolutely took off after I came back though, and over the past 2 years both TRT's popularity and the stats of my one-shots in the fandom have grown. Part of that's just the time frame (TRT's been up about 6 years), but it's also due to a couple things that I think built up TRT's popularity.

Building a tumblr presence was huge. Ironically I didn't really intend to do it for advertising; I just wanted a place readers could ask questions or we could all freak out about Matt or I could post some drabbles or updates on the fic. But considering the fact that AO3 and tumblr are the top fic sites online, I wound up promoting my fics unintentionally just by being a friendly, happy tumblr user and fandom goer. All I did was follow the courtesy rules I knew - post stuff regularly, reblog, comment, make friends with other writers, just be friendly in your neighborhood because you love the lady with the gif flower shop on the corner or the wise old pizza maker who serves hot fandom takes all day long. I built familiarity with my writing and name by posting short fics, and by taking part in challenges and prompt lists and short requests for drabbles if I saw them, though that's something that's hard to do if you don't have time (I've got less time now, but I started this blog in the early pandemic so I had aaaaall the time in the world to write and was using it to stay sane). I tagged religiously because I LOVE tags, but that helped, too. Tumblr's search system is half broken but the half that works means people CAN find your writing even if they aren't following. Doing all this over here got me a huge boost over on AO3.

I will say that if you can have a fandom tiktok presence, there's a lot of fic reviewers, edits, and good stuff that can get your fic some readers (I've had some people do this on tiktok for TRT and it sent a surge over). I personally haven't done anything there yet, in part because while I'm on tiktok I try to keep my actual, real person accounts separate from my fic/fandom accounts and i haven't bothered to make a second account solely dedicated to the Pasta name yet.

Longfics on AO3 have the advantage in fic stats in the sense that every time you add a chapter, it gets bumped to the top of the front page and you get seen again. Eventually a lot of people will click out of curiosity. They may not, however, give you a lot of user subs or add to your other fic stats at first, whereas if you do a bunch of oneshots you're more likely to get user subs but less hits on each fic. This is a decision you'll have to make, and I know folks in both camps who built their followings using different methods on each. Either way, it helps if you're posting regularly, either in a long fic or one-shots. I call this the Stephen King method, who said he just writes a ton and throws it all at the wall, and eventually you get enough good despite the bad that you start building a following.

Learn learn learn. This is standard fic advice I always give, but it's still relevant. I think one of the reasons imo TRT has done so well is that I've spent a lot of time over the years learning how to write and edit - I read a ton of books (sometimes just to figure out HOW good authors structure their stories), I took a lot of English classes, I've taken some creative writing courses in my spare time. That two year hiatus was heavily spent doing a lot of research and practice around an original novel I want published one day. And I used ALL of that in TRT, just to see what it was like to put it all together. Be hungry for knowledge, be hungry to learn. The more you learn, the better your fic will be, and the more people that will click.

That learning also includes a looooong string of fanfics that started at a very novice level (hello 12 year old me), to fics that were ok and did moderately well but weren't anything huge. Hell, I had a tumblr account for my previous fandoms before I wandered over to Pastafossa, and while those fics did decently, I never had the huge reaction I've gotten here. But I used each and every one of those fics to learn and grow and adapt. Treat your own fics the same way. If it doesn't get hits, try to learn from it before moving on to the next idea a little wiser and a slightly better writer than before. There will always be people who start to follow you along the way.

A small one, but important: I swear to god, do not shit-talk yourself. Not in the summary, not in the tags, not in the A/Ns. I'm not talking, 'this is my first fic!' That's fine. I mean trashing your own work. Shit like, 'ha ha this sucks, it's terrible but oh well' will absolutely lower your stats, because people will believe you and will ditch your fic. On top of that, it's just mean to yourself, and as I said above, you want to be a good person in the fandom neighborhood. That means not breaking the windows of your own house.

People generally think of summaries as a side note, but a shitty summary can absolutely tank your stats. Treat it like the rest of your fic - this is the trailer before the movie, and it's a huge element of what gets people interested in the first place.

Lastly, like I said at the top, the biggest factor is time. There are people who post one fic and explode in popularity, absolutely. But far, far more little followings are built on the bones of time, of abandoned fics, of muttering and highlighting phrases in books in the middle of the night, of trying and trying and trying until we have at last have a breakthrough and then drag that breakthrough forward with us to the next fic. TRT is absolutely one part lightning in a bottle - the biggest success I've ever had anywhere with my writing, a confluence of fandom factors and world events that gave people (and me!) time to write and read. But it's also standing on the back of whole lot of fics I wrote that look like everyone else's: ones with no comments, low interaction, insults; ones where I had precisely zero idea of what I was doing, but wanted to try anyway. And the way I got through that, as a writer who needs interaction in order to create, was by building friendships in fandom so that even when a fic didn't do all that well, I still had friends I could talk to about the characters, the world, the fandom itself. I asked friends to look them over and give advice. I had friends being my cheerleaders. And if you're an extrovert like me, or just a writer who needs that to create, then those connections are vital as you build up a following.

That's a lot of what I've done. I know there are other ways to build a following, but this is generally what I've done, what I've learned to do, and it seems to have worked. Just remember that there are no bad fics - just learning opportunities. Learn something, and that fic's a success, and work as hard as you can to make those fandom connections to carry you through the process.

I absolutely hope to see your work around one day, so that I can be on of those followers!

#writing advice #fic advice #fic tips #building a following #fanfic #fic #writing tips #tbh i was shocked and still kind of am by how popular trt's become #because i have had ZERO previous experiences in my fic writing time that aligned #BUT #there are absolutely things I did in hindsight I think that helped a ton #and all of the practice and writing fic including the ones with zero interaction helped #i learned how to be a good fandom goer even when i didn't write #because i genuinely loved my little neighborhoods #and i used a lot of that when i started writing again cause why wouldn't i??? #also avoid petty fandom drama you don't need to waste your energy on it #i WANT my blog to generally be a positive space cause i've got shit going on elsewhere and i don't need more #but that also means i think that people like wandering through cause they know there's a lot of happy things here #be the person in the neighborhood watering your daisies and putting out a rainbow pinwheel even when ted down the block #is feuding with susan up the block over the height of ted's fence