#they had a lot of good moments before

[thewayuarent]

Sorry to bother you but I’m so confused about the idea that SandRay should separate because “Sand deserves better”. I don’t know what to think about it, cause I kind of felt the same way a lot and I know that Ray is complicated and struggling and I want Sand be there for him but I’m not so sure what Sand gets from this relationship. I don’t want to sound like people who say that Ray doesn’t deserve love, because he does. But at the same time, Sand deserves it too and I don’t know, it just bothers me a lot

Or, never be sorry to bother me! I’m not bothered at all, I love to talk about this show, and thank you for bringing this topic, cause god I do have some things to say.

First of all, it’s totally fine and valid to have a complex mix of feelings towards Sand and Ray situation - or any situation in this show. They are complicated people with complicated relationships that started as deeply toxic and sometimes you can feel contradictory emotions at the same time - this happens. It’s also fine that SandRay dynamic is not for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. Every perspective is valid.

But. The whole “Sand deserves better” narrative drives me nuts. I made a post about it already but I have things to add.

The idea that person deserves better than their current relationship is valid in a lot of different situations: when it’s about abuse, or when it’s about people who stay in toxic relationships because they believe it’s the only thing that serves them right. It’s about people who need support and help to find their own validation. It’s about people who were tricked into believing their person is good for them only to find out they are in a toxic relationship when it’s too late for them to easily move on, etc.

Nothing from that is about Sand. Since the very beginning - the bar fight, bringing drunk unconscious Ray to his home, being accused on assault and robbery, being paid for his company and engaging in sex without obligations mess - Sand always knew who Ray is. And Sand is self aware (I would argue the most self aware of all of them speaking about feelings part) and self confident person, who, despite of what a lot of people believe, has enough level of self respect. Again, he’s very much aware

Sand is not a victim of Ray. He just loves him, easy as that. And he doesn’t need to be saved. Sand is a grown man who understands clearly what he got himself into. This is his choice. It’s not for everyone, I get it, but it’s not about Sand being stupid or delusional. It’s about him choosing this complicated deeply damaged man to love. He’s fine.

What Sand gets from this relationship? A lot of things, I think. He gets an attractive partner and - I would assume - great sex, he gets interesting conversations, he gets someone who needs him - and I believe Sand has a deep need to be needed. He gets someone who pays attention to him, who wants him, who is totally a bit crazy about him. Sand gets someone who he can care about - and for caretakers like Sand this means a lot. He gets someone who takes his care and thankful for that.

Important topic that frequently is overlooked: he gets the person who is not driven away by his sarcasm and emotional unavailability. Sand has a lot of great qualities, but he has a clear problem with showing or telling his true feelings and emotions. And for a lot of people that may be an obstacle. Not for Ray.

Sand gets a lot of toxic shit from this relationship, but he gets a lot of positive things that for him personally are worth it - because no one said that Sand is perfectly normal, you know?

But what’s also important to remember, that love is not transactional. You don’t love someone just because they do everything for you to love them. Love is a complicated thing and for every person it’s very unique experience and very unique reasoning. Sand doesn’t need a numbered list of reasons to love Ray. And this works for both of them, by the way. Yo is very right saying “Good can’t buy love”. If it was that easy the world would be a different place. If it was that easy, Ray wouldn’t be able to move on from Mew just because Sand is good for him (tho it definitely helped).

And another thing I want to add. You know who will be the first person to tell that Sand deserves better? This guy

Ray is simultaneously very selfish and very self hatred person. He wants Sand and he makes everything to keep Sand, but at the same time he has no fucking idea of why Sand is still here. There is the reason (beside the fact that he was raised in money buys all mentality he’s totally adapted) why he believed so easily that it was all about money - because for him it is the only logical explanation. He believes he’s not worth love just because, and he genuinely doesn’t understand what he can give to Sand. His body? His questionable personality? His small awkward attempts to show care he started to make in episode 10? And now - his attempt to get better? Which is huge, huge thing, by the way. For some people that’s not enough. But for Sand it is.

Like it or not, but Sand doesn’t “deserve better”. He deserves exactly what he wants. And what he wants is Ray. Simple as that.

#ofts #only friends the series #only friends #only friends meta #sandray #asked and answered #I’m starting to sound like a parrot I’m so sorry #hope it helped but idk #and yes he deserves better treatment as every person does #but ray is working on that. he’s trying #they had a lot of good moments before #and I believe they’ll get even better through times

[insertsomthinawesome]

Okay I started this waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back right after Episode 10 launched. Yeah. Ages ago. I actually finished it around probably 1-2 months ago??? I've just been slow to uploading it ^^;; Back then I was... not necessarily theorizing??? But had fun indulging in an idea like this xD

-NO ROMANCE INCLUDED-

#Trigun Stampede #Trigun Stampede Spoilers #Vash the Stampede #Nicholas d Wolfwood #Meryl stryfe #Meryl trigun Stampede #WOlfwood trigun Stampede #Vash trigun stampede #blood #injury #Isa's fanart #InsertSomthinAwesome #June2023 #I had a moment where my energy for working on this seriously disappeared too lol #thats why I only finished it a bit ago despite starting it before episode 11 even came out #There was a freaking wing!!! Got that right!!!! Much happier w Orange's design than my own xD #While this would've been good fuN I much prefer how the canon finale went #I feel its more fitting for Wolfwood's character and just. fits a lot better in total #Being season one having things wrap up so nicely.. not sure it woulda fit

[leapdayowo]

I HAVE FINISHED IT :D

“I have my poetry” and “I’m not a parasite”

I started this piece over a month ago and multiple times almost gave up on it :’) BUT I have finally finished it! This piece tested the phrase ‘trust the process’ so hard, mostly because I was making up the process as I went. The lighting particularly was tricky, but I’m slowly getting better with it (and two for one, I get to practice painting techniques and draw these two!)

This is a follow up piece to the one I made with Tanguish wearing a shirt that says “death doesn’t have muffins” :3

#redstone and skulk #them <3 #watercolor #traditional art #they are so messed up your honor but I love them #they’re looking for places to eat or talking about pigeons #Now that I’m on break I hope to do at least one more rns painting before going back to school #the last two chapter updates have been amazing and have had lots of good moments to pick from to paint.. #tanguish #helsknight

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary #bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it #so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences. #being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much #compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself #tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments. #tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts #could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably #and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist #but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think #this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines #and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before #it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person. #this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3 #we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically #p

[aquarterasian]

honestly i love that precure is super simple and doesn't have a solid plot and maybe even has massive plot holes like who gaf im here to watch cute girls fight monsters and be silly

#precure #pretty cure #like obviously precure has its deep moments #and i have had complaints about certain plot points before #but overall it really doesnt affect my enjoyment of it #hugtto is my one exception #i think everyone is allowed to have a season they dislike. for fun #but even then im not gonna attack people for liking it bc i know its meaningful for a lot of people #im just here to have a good time im not gonna complain about like. scenarios that are so stupid they wouldnt happen in real life

[leviathiane]

Natural team dynamic progression over stream for Blue team (Soulfire) [Day One of purgatory]:

Split into two main groups—

Farming/base-bound: Tina, Missa, Lenay, Niki

Fighters/Runners: Bad, Tubbo, Pierre

Tubbo is main official leader, and Bad and Tina have been acting as co-leaders per their groups for the most part. Tina had been the biggest support leader and the main person keeping morale up within the group-- Missa, Lenay, and Niki being her main supply runners/farmers that she distributed tasks through. Pierre has become main runner who turns in missions, while Tubbo and Bad run distraction. Majority of plans are thought up by Tina, Bad, Tubbo, and Pierre, and are run through Tubbo before execution.

They’ve maintained lead the entire stream for the most part.

#qsmp #this is mostly my personal tracking so I can keep note of character dynamics #I find it really interesting how natural leadership progresses #and Tina has been MVP in keeping them all tied together #she checks in continuously esp on the quiet members like niki missa and lenay #she is the backbone of their opporations handling all farming management and tasks #without her they’d have nothing to turn in #I’m so proud of her lol I didn’t know Tina before qsmp but I would die for her #this is not without noting other members moments like missa getting apples and lenay getting dirt #niki has been fueling them too #bad and Tubbo have been PVP heavy to protect Pierre and do their best to keep close ranks #Tubbo in particular killed a lot of people. probably the most out of all the team #and bad tends to play tubbos close backup #Pierre also had a moment where he snuck in and turned in a BUNCH of missions unprotected #everyone’s done a good job!! they are a very cohesive team #esp with a lot of players not usually present on the server

[simptasia]

my mum died last night

#i was with her. i spoke comforting words to her as her breathing slowed #she didn't suffer - she wasn't in any pain. she heard me and became slower and slower then i... saw her die #i never predicted i'd be there at the moment of death #it was her time. her body had been slowly shutting down the last three days and she'd been officially dying for 5 months #she was so strong. she was hanging on for me. needing to know i'd be able to survive with her gone #once it was clear that things were gonna be fine (besides the emotional toll) she started to truly let go #i've been with her whenever i could be the last three days. and night nurses watched her as i slept #last nights nurse woke me to be with her in her final moments #besides hearing me talk the last few days - i was also running star trek for her to listen to #she couldn't communicate or move but we all knew she was aware of things around her #i gave her words of reassurance and comfort and the last words she heard me say were ''i love you'' #and three days ago before she lost the ability to speak the last words she managed were ''i love you'' #so things went as well as they could be considering the situation #she died a little over 12 hours ago. it was 7 hours before they could take the body away. that was. haunting #it's been a rough day. worst day of my life. but mum is at peace now. and i have a lot of kind people to support me #everything will be okay eventually and i have my whole life ahead of me and mum wants that life to be good #so i musn't give up. now matter how depressed i feel

[falderaletcetera]

listen. I don't just love father brown because I first saw it while ill with the flu or because it's consistently kind to the outcast in a way that has reviewers calling it Too Woke, obviously a vote in its favour. or because the recurring thief character is very pretty to watch. though those are significant parts of it.

I love it because after eight seasons father brown sits down with the village drunk (a munitions expert in the war, has a soft spot for the parish secretary, name of harold or blind harry) to find out why he gave a murder suspect a false alibi and harry explains to him, calm as you like, that seeing the life leave someone's eyes changes a person, that it's what he reckons brought father brown to his faith, that it's what drove him to drink, and he didn't see that shadow in the guy the police are chasing this time. and father brown, rather than justifying or correcting or dodging or doubting him, says he knows how unjust the situation is. that he got something good out of the horrors of the war. that harry really didn't.

it is not a perfect show and yes I have problems with it but gosh, this is a character who's largely used for comedic beats, albeit kindly, and a scene like this isn't out of place at all but it still takes my breath away. we could've been left with this as subtext, y'know? I hadn't even put together that his alcoholism must have been trauma. but instead harry tells us this directly, tells us it's about guilt, that that's something he shares with father brown, who is competent and so often cheerful and I can't even imagine when he was younger, and it's a moment of such unexpected humanity and respect. and it's such a strange thing to see these characters side by side like that.

the scene ends with father brown calling harry a good man, and harry denying it ("they was only young lads" "so were we, harold. so were we.") and the two them sharing a drink as father brown gets a bit watery-eyed and I'm crying too over my nice cosy 'this is a concerning number of murders for a sleepy english village' show and just. hi. what. ow.

I also haven't recovered from the episode that turned into a heist halfway through but frankly I'm only mentioning that because I don't know how to wrap up a post like this. (it was good though. there were two separate honeypots, three if you count the impromptu replacement, one character terrible at grifting and one unexpectedly great at it, and, somehow, a con within a con. it was really very fun. get a show that can do both, I guess?)

#back on my bullshit (unrepentant) #I was raised so protestant I retain a deep suspicion of priests so this remains very startling to me #something something father brown handshake emoji iroh #love where they are now no clue how they got there but it's always kind of a shock to be reminded there was blood along the way #also like. the kindness. the tea. the fondness for life's small pleasures. #pretending to be harmless and friendly and also BEING harmless and friendly to the core. #this is an association I had not made before so if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go hide my face in a pillow about it #father brown #falderal speaks #love a show that waits until you're comfy and then smacks you with a very human reminder of the horrors of war #love a character with. moral injury. listen shush I'm very predictable I just hadn't put together that it was father frikking brown too #silly little (not little) guy who elbows his way into situations by smiling pleasantly at people and who likes cake and jazz music #it's not like I forget he has depth I just. forget that the story GOES there #and so respectfully. harold who is usually slightly comic relief getting a serious moment that explains a lot and doesn't even feel jarring #I'm stopping here but like. good show‚ show. I did in fact have unexpected emotions about it.

[torgawl]

i think what hits most about nobara's backstory is everything that's left unsaid and peaks from between the lines. it's the fact you can easily infer that something was wrong without ever having clear answers on what exactly was wrong. but if you can relate to the feeling of wanting to escape a place and the alienation from everyone around you, especially when you're brought up in small communities, then you can certainly understand, if not fully then partially, nobara herself and the struggles she might have had to face all by herself for a very long time; maybe even the importance fumi and saori had in her life and the pain from having to part from them; and, perhaps the selectiveness in letting people in that she later on develops as well.

#the way her story is told from fumi's point of view is quite interesting #nobara's backstory is like a silent whisper without a lot of obvious context and told from someone else's perspective #someone who until the end never really understood her fully despite their obvious close bond #someone who we weren't even aware was part of her life #and nobara's peak emotional moment and the last person she thinks as her life is in danger is her and the promise she didn't accomplish #a promise to reunite with the friends that shaped her and her life #ah. #i find her last line so... powerful? #she definitely struggled growing up and the only two people she kept in her heart from her life before jujutsu were people that #moved to where she lived. saori didn't even stay in that place for long. and then she moves somewhere new and she meets people #and a group that actually feels like home a community where she fits in and suddenly they kind of break through making place in her heart #just for everything to come to a halt. to turn to shit. for her to see that shatter away little by little. and in the end she's put in a #position where she knows she will not be able to hold on to what she cares for the most. that she will hurt people that truly cared for her #for not being able to go back to fumi and rekindle the friendship with saori and for being forced to be another punch in the guts for yuuji #and everyone else that up until that point were forced to go through losses already and traumatic events #and she decides to encourage yuuji to go on a good note and she truly believes the people she met made it worth it #even if it was for a brief moment in her life #i am not being coherent right now but it pains me :') #she deserved so much better #and i will hang on tightly to the line saying that she had a small chance of survival until the end #because she deserves it she deserves to live 😭 #i'm taking her from that stupid anime and putting her in a slice of life anime watch me #yuuji too. and everyone else. i'm taking the kaisen out of the jujutsu and you can't stop me #jjk spoilers #nobara kugisaki #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 💭 #my post

[thedreadvampy]

My housemate is moving out in January

She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."

The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.

She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.

The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.

The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.

And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.

All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.

like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.

Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.

(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)

Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.

But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.

#red said #the other thing that bugs me about it is. ok and again this is old shit dredged back to 2021 when we moved in together #but i had my housemate. and Sam had her. and each of us were really close pairs who'd lived together a long time #and we tried looking for flats as a four but a) a flat with 4 good sized bedrooms in Edinburgh is hens teeth #and b) my housemate was pretty happy to live with me and Sam but increasingly felt like a 4 man flat was going to be a lot for him #and so in the end we talked about it. and through a combination of that and same housemate being in a pretty #unfavorable position housing wise. cause she was unemployed and had shit credit at that moment. #we agreed she'd move with us and Joe went and found a one bed #and in the end that's been really great for him tbh he's a lot happier and more confident and we were pretty sick of each other by then #and so we get on much better now #but at the time it was a real heartache i felt like I'd let Joe down i felt like our friendship was over #and honestly I have never been a huge fan of living with our current housemate. even before we lived here #like when i was staying with her and Sam too. she's incredibly messy and takes up a lot of space in conversations #I've always liked her as a person but she's exhausting and often unpleasant to share space with #and there's a bit of me that's like. we bent over backwards to accommodate you when you were precarious. #like it would have been WAY easier for us to look for a 2-bed during 2021. and if it was a 3-bed I'd have rather stayed with Joe. #but we moved with her for her sake. and she left Sam to clean up their old place (and there were Literal Rats) #and she got really pissy about driving the moving van even though a) that was her idea and b) she's the only person with a license #and c) i walked all MY shit over by hand anyway and the only reason she hired the van was to move her tv #me and Sam found all the core furniture. me and Sam sorted out all the viewings. me and Sam did all the planning. Sam set up all the bills. #we spotted her for rent!we took a bigger share of the costs! because we fucking cared about her and wanted her to have a fucking home! #and she can't even do us the courtesy you'd offer a fucking lodger you found on fucking gumtree

[firstofficerkittycat]

when the doctor asked emma grayling who clara is and she was like "she's a perfectly ordinary girl shes very clever and she's more scared than she lets on is that not enough" literally me to moffat

#clara oswald #doctor who #the fucking loss i experienced in bells of st john #couldnt even allow her to be good at hacking on her own da spoon men had to boost her iq<3 #that was the beginning of the end #she was such an interesting and derranged character she deserved more and by more i mean less #so so much less #she was interesting in her own right she did not need that other shit #like she literally had her own time lord victorious moment she saw the universe from birth to death in hide and it changed her #she kept doing increasingly more reckless shit because she went to space to fill a hole she was not trying or expecting to live that long #and she hates it when the doctor tries to be responsible for her #shes always like i never asked you to protect me!!! which is a wild take she refuses to recognise him as the one who can keep her alive in #environments she has never experienced before #she went with him to have some wacky fun and then she saw horrors beyond comprehension and went oh. ok. i can be god too #she looked at the doctor and went oh it's not that you're special it's that your circumstances give you power. and now i have power too #and i have power over you i can make you do things for me #that shit was so good #and like to be clear im not saying she cant have her whole orphan black thing going on #but like what did it actually do for her as a character? it couldve done a lot but she wasnt the focus of any of it #also p much everyone on this show has sacrificed themselves for the doctor it is not a defining trait #what defines her as a character is not that she was Born To Save The Doctor its that she thinks like this #nobodys ever safe!!!!! ive never asked you for that ever!!!

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

I can’t believe that Rick canonically had a slap fight with an old man because he was jealous that Summer wanted to spend time with him

Like it 100% sounds like the sort of thing we would make up for a funny post on here but nope… canon

Edit: for some reason the order of the pictures is a bit fucked up but I can’t be bothered to fix it lol, sorry

#rick and morty #rnm #rick sanchez #summer smith #mr needful #rick is such a petty and dramatic manchild and i love it #honestly as much as s1 has its bad moments (such as the r word conversation in this very episode 😬) i love the way it portrays rick #like it’s very apparent that he’s jealous and needy and just bullshitting his way through life #he feels much more… human? if that makes sense #like yeah there’s a lot of fun stuff with the whole ‘smartest man in the universe’/god complex stuff #but it’s also nice when he’s just a man who’s very good at science and a massive dumbass in all other areas of life #honestly he’s much more emotionally vulnerable to the audience #like we see him here being insecure and needing summer’s approval #and later on in the episode when he’s very clearly lonely and bored alone in the house #and greets morty too enthusiastically and then corrects himself to try and seem cool #again i was really struck by how… nice he was in meeseeks and destroy after morty shouted at him #even before he realised what had happened to morty #(i know he was an asshole before that but still) #plus the citadel episode has him crying over his memories of morty #i think i just have a mental image of s1 based on the ‘anti-pc’ jokes and dudebro perceptions of it #so i forget what it’s actually like #i mean don’t get me wrong there are definitely a lot of extremely cringeworthy ‘anti-pc’ jokes #but rick is actually much more human in s1 #also i find it so funny in this episode that at the end rick and summer actually work out #rather than rick just using some sort of technology to make them jacked #like i know they use steroids #but the fact that they actually went to all that effort cracks me up #also i would say this is the first episode where rick and summer start to actually develop their own interesting dynamic #which i love

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

Oh!! But what about a Sastiel AU where Castiel is a teacher and Sam was recently hired to be a teacher's assistant.

Castiel doesn't want a teacher assistant, he believes he doesn't need one. He's been working at the school for a long time, and doesn't understand why they suddenly are forcing, requiring, him to have a teacher assistant.

Sam goes in knowing Castiel doesn't want one, and does his best to refrain from being upset about Castiel's stance on him helping him out.

The two have an interesting first meeting, but Sam does point out that with him there to help, Castiel can send Sam to do tasks he doesn't like to. Such as messing with the printer where everyone feels obligated to talk to you and ask what you're doing. Which saves Castiel from having to buy his own, it was in his cart already. And he's just there to help Castiel with whatever he needs, he's not there to take over.

Castiel, unfortunately, finds himself liking Sam's company. And how Sam knows how to help without Castiel saying anything. He especially hates how smug the principal is about Castiel and Sam work well together, as predicted. And Castiel tries not to think about the fact that Sam's on his mind a lot more than he should be.

Sam enjoys his job. He likes feeling needed, and loves working with Castiel and the students. The only thing that Sam hates is how much he's interested in someone who clearly isn't interested in him back. Not that Castiel has any obligation or anything, just, it'd be nice if Sam fell for people who would fall with him. But he ignores those feelings at the job, focused on whatever Castiel needs. Even the things Castiel won't voice but Sam's learned to anticipate, and hey, maybe Castiel doesn't hate him as much as he thought he would. And that feels like a win to Sam.

Over the course of the year the two fall really in sync with each other. Classes run smoothly, grades are at an all time high. And they're genuinely friends.

Castiel didn't realize how used he got to Sam's presence and help until Sam misses a day and Castiel's first class is a bit rough but he snaps into gear by his second class. But... He truly misses Sam and is grateful and happy when he returns the next day. Sam apologies, a family emergency, but things are settled. Sam notices a shift after that day, there's a lot more appreciation after that and Sam finds himself beaming at the praise.

As the year gets closer to an end, Castiel is trying to subtly ask Sam if he'll help him with the next school year. Which makes Sam laugh, he tells him not to worry, he can't get rid of him that easily. And Castiel is very happy to hear that.

#i was falling asleep #When this idea came to mind and I had to write down as much as possible #There's a lot of ideas running in my mind #some I'll jot down and save for later #but lots of sweet moments are in mind!! #I'm buzzing from this idea #!!!! #I love it and I need it to a be thing right now #I will actually go to sleep now #Just!!! This idea needed to be written down before it was forgotten #Alright #good night for real #sam winchester #castiel #sastiel #samstiel

[quietwingsinthesky]

oh, yeah, another thing i noticed that was odd about s5 in comparison to earlier seasons was how much they relied on like. not the history of the doctor, exactly, but the image of that history. whether from little easter eggs of the first doctor’s picture popping up everywhere to i think the two(?) times in the season we get a montage of past doctors. and i honestly can’t remember anything like that happening earlier (with the exception of the time crash short, which felt more substantial to me and was also like. 7 straight minutes of david tennant being allowed to fangirl.)

and i say ‘the image’ because hell knows the RTD era was pulling from doctor who past left, right, and center, but it rarely felt like a moment of ‘look at this old thing, you remember old thing? old thing was cool and so are we for continuing it.’ and more like ‘here’s a species/character/etc from classic who. and here’s how they’ve changed and fit into the new world we’ve built for the show.’

I guess, the difference here for me is that. i haven’t watched classic who. s5 shows me a slideshow of doctors and to me, those are the guys i once ranked by how sexy i think they are. and not much else. i don’t have an emotional connection to an image. but take, say, school reunion? an episode that was my favorite even back when i was a kid specifically because i adored sarah jane? i had no idea who she was then, i only just figured out a little bit ago which doctor she traveled with, and exclusively all i’ve watched of her is that episode in s2 and the sarah jane adventures. and yet, that episode, without the context there for me, managed to make sense to me. i’m sure it was probably even more impactful to fans of sarah jane from classic who, but it didn’t lose its impact without that knowledge.

so, that’s a shift. i don’t want to say it’s a negative one, exactly, because maybe people who have seen classic who like these references and i’m missing something. but, to me, it feels a little more shallow.

#sorry if i kept talking about sarah jane and school reunion we’d be here all day. her reintroduction to nuwho is phenomenal. #even without classic who. you get it. you get what the doctor did to her. you understand how much it hurt her. by giving her time with rose #we’re able to use what we know about rose to parallel her with sarah jane and infer that sarah jane was a lot like her once. it’s good! #and seeing pictures of the first doctor is like. very funny because he’s a silly little guy. but i don’t know that man. #but yeah. another example i’d put out there is Dalek. and yes everyone loves dalek we all know its good. but. without the context of classic #who. this was the choice of how to reintroduce the daleks to the audience. not as silly tin can killing machine. but as this. this wretched #and pitiable thing that dies to see the sunlight. this monster that is. in its last moments. capable of change. however small. #(a theme that i think links up well to evolution of the daleks in s3. i think its interesting how we’re invited to see the daleks first as #beings that have had a great and terrible injustice done to them. (in episode: the dalek being chained up and tortured. in a wider context: #how daleks are made at all.) before we’re introduced to them as a galaxy-wide threat intent on inflicting that same suffering on the rest of #the universe.) #MY POINT IS: nuwho and classic who mix well when the classic who elements are reintroduced in a way that makes sense both for people with #the back knowledge of classic who (and maybe they get even more out of it) while ALSO makign sense to people who’ve only seen nuwho. #anyway. this is a small thing its far from like. a show-ruining point. its literally fine lol. #doctor who #dw lb

[skunkes]

guess who was not in the right emotional state to finish watching lars and the real girl

#what a lovely movie.... #talkys #i obviously related a lot to him and his mannerisms. and such. among all the rest of it. #augh. something about watching him kiss bianca at the end before it happens #something about that being so familiar! a movie about loneliness. #a movie about loneliness... watching loneliness acted out while i act out loneliness. #the way that i can so physically feels how lars feels both in his relationship with bianca but also the moments where he wants More. #it burns...relatable but hurt to watch in the sense that he finds resolution and im staring at the credits sitting hollow #really funny too that he had that way out of things with bianca...bc i have a similar Out set up with al... #if one day i dont need him anymore... #augh....what a nice movie... #it hurts so bad but its a wonderful movie... #i like how everyone support him...! made me cry #the way ryan gosling talks in this movie is the exact way i talk to my siblings sometimes too. #when i feel small. and very much like their little brother who is 15; 12; + 9 years younger than them. AUGH. #hurts it hurts it hurts. good movie what a nice movie

[yuridovewing]

This would definitely... Bloat some things, but I still want to do it cause then it involves all four clans like it Should, but man I love the idea of each clan having their own "Power of Three" trio. Like a lot. Originally I was going to make them all descendants of the current leaders and spread the litters throughout TNP, Po3, and OotS, but that didn't quite seem right to me. There aren't a ton of descendants for me to work with to this end (especially for Blackstar, who I've decided is Darktail's dad who never has another litter in the clans). Soooo instead, I want all of them to be forbidden kits. Half clan and medic children, baby. So obviously this includes the ThunderClan three, and the other litters I'm considering are Tawnypelt's kittens (moved to be born late in Po3) who would technically be ThunderShadow kits... that or I'm changing who the other parent is. (Here comes TawnyFeather with the steel chair...? They could meet again in Outcast... owo?) and Sedgewhisker and her sisters who are apparently WindRiver kits?? Which I didn't know was a thing til now.

That just leaves the RiverClan three who I'm not totally sure on. My friend Vio suggested Icewing's first litter, which I kinda like cause that includes Beetlewhisker. Makes his fate in the Dark Forest all the more terrifying. But I'm also considering Minnowtail and her siblings (reviving her brother Tumblekit). I do not remember if those guys have confirmed dads but if they do, uhhhhhhhh. Well they aren't their dads anymore. Officially halfclan now.

#to this end i may take a page from bonefalls book and make dove/ivy jayfeathers children instead of whiteash kids #cause like. i LIKE the drama of dove being ash's kid but i also think its interesting to go at the angle of her being jay's kit #for reference: jayfeather is forced to become a medic when leafpool gets demoted. this is VERY controversial in thunderclan #cause even tho jayfeather has a good amount of knowledge (he spent a lot of time in the healers den) he had very rushed training #cause the other leaders rallied and rallied for leafpool to get demoted and threatened attack if she wasn't #(I miiight make it so that bramblestar is leader at this point? so it makes more sense? cause he haaates leafpool. but also i want fire ali #alive so he can be spark and dandelion's dad right before he dies) #but some of the cats are arguing that it's very contrived and that now that holly is gone- they need leafpool more than ever #and dove and ivy are conceived around this time because jayfeather confides in poppyfrost for comfort #and ooooooooo guess who's just like his mama!! this would be the moment where like... ''oh fuck. i get it now.'' #so its super early in his career and the timing is VERY awkward so they gotta make poppyfrost lie about who the dad is #so no ones really aware that theyre jay's kits at first. tho there are rumors. anyways long winded way of saying dovewing is a forbidden ba #so she counts in this!!! yayyyyy #razorverse #also some canon deaths will still occur in oots most likely. their powers may just get shifted to other cats in their clan #usually kits who were born recently. so when flametail dies his power gets transferred to a newborn shadowclan kit #idk tho. not set in stone