Mavid royalty au pleassswwww
When Max turned around to stretch properly, David was staring at him.
Oh.
"Good morning," Max said awkwardly, wondering if he had morning breath or some shit.
He usually didn't care about stuff like that. But when you are in bed with a literal prince, you gotta start giving a shit about things like that.
"Good morning," David smiled.
"Where you, like, staring at me?" Max chuckled, feeling nervous for some reason.
He wasn't nervous last night.
Last night was fun. Max was good at having fun.
He wasn't very good at this. Whatever this was.
David opened his mouth and closed it, looking suddenly hesitant and worried.
"What?" Max asked.
"Nothing."
"What?" he asked again.
"May I touch your hair?" David asked in a whisper.
"Bro," Max laughed, unable to stop himself. "You were literally pulling it last night and-"
"Well, that's different," David mumbled.
"Is it?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"I was caught up in the throes of passion," David explained.
"The throes of what?" Max laughed. "Who is teaching y'all english?"
David rolled his eyes at that. "You are making fun of me again."
"Aw," Max said, feeling soft for some reason. Weird. "I was kidding, dude."
"Could you stop calling me 'bro' and 'dude'?" David asked him. "It's very unsettling."
"What else would I call you then?" Max asked.
He had a couple of suggestions. But he didn't want to say them out loud.
Not yet.
"David," the boy told him. "Or Your Highness."
"Oh, I'm not calling you that," Max scoffed. "I can call you babygirl though."
"That's even worse!"
"How is that worse?
"Because I'm neither a baby nor a girl," David pointed out. "It's the same as calling you...sugar plum or sweetie pie."
Max laughed at the ridiculousness of the argument. David suddenly looked all soft. Max didn't know why.
But he couldn't help but smile. "You can."
"Hmm?"
"You can touch my hair," Max said.
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The Rite of Movement | drabble
“blooper reels with my baby love”
A/N: the wife @strang3lov3 demanded (endearingly) for Joel and baby love to have silly fun sex, and silly fun sex they shall have! If you ain’t gigglin’ and tootin’ in the bedroom, then tf are you doin’, baby love? 🤭
~word count: 1.8k~ (don’t ask…just smile and nod)
Summary: sex isn’t always sexy and blooper free, baby love.
Pairing | pornstar!joel x pornstar!female reader
Warnings: none, fluff, smut, domestic intimacy, real sex, amateur porn video, normal bodily functions, bloopers, established relationship, unprotected piv, flirting, teasing, intimacy, creampie, cock warming, mommy kink??, Joel is in his 40’s and reader is in her 30’s, reader has no physical descriptions (mentions of readers breasts being big) readers nickname is baby love, +18 minors dni!
series masterlist
Everything that could have possibly gone amiss during yours and Joel’s filming session for the day went wrong. It started with the UPS delivery driver giving Joel a funny look when he had to sign for a box that was clearly from Pornhub due to the painfully obvious black and orange packing tape.
What made the situation even more awkward is that the driver looked at Joel’s face for a hard minute, trying to decipher if he had seen his face somewhere…and then Joel watched the driver grow flustered at the realization that he did in fact see Joel’s face somewhere before.
But before Joel could even tell the poor guy to have a nice day, he was scurrying back to his truck and speeding off down the street.
“Amateur.” Joel mumbled to himself, chuckling under his breath and closed the door before locking it. He set the box down on the nearest available surface and headed upstairs.
He found you naked, and sprawled out on the comforter with Artemis curled up on your chest, using your breasts as her own little personal pillow while you gently stroked her fur.
“I think the UPS delivery driver has watched our stuff before, baby love.” Joel announced from the opening of the bedroom door, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his bare chest.
You glanced over at him, grin playing on your lips as you listened to Artemis’s happy little purrs. “Oh? What gave the poor guy away?”
He pushed himself off the side of the doorframe, making his way over to the bed and plopped down beside you, making himself comfortable on his stomach and propped himself up on his elbow, “Well, I think it had to do with the non discreet packaging that Pornhub decided to use, and the way he was lookin’ at me?” He reached across you with his freehand and gave Artemis a few scritches behind her ears.
You giggled softly, picturing the poor delivery driver's face when he realized that he had seen your boyfriend on the hub before. “Was the packaging discreet at all? Did you open it?”
“Nah. They had the Pornhub orange and black tape plastered all over the damn box. And no, I didn’t open it. Didn’t wanna waste another second when I knew that my baby was waitin’ for me. M’shocked I didn’t get a hard on jus’ thinkin’ of ya down there, baby love.”
You laughed again, reaching over and gently swatted at his bare shoulder. “You’re a dork, Joel. And an insatiably horny one at that.”
He snorted under his breath, shaking his head with a grin. “Well, can ya blame a guy? Got the most gorgeous woman laid out in my sheets. You best believe that my cock is always ready for you.”
“Joel!” You scolded him, covering Artemis’s ears with one hand, “Not in front of our child!”
He laughed, the skin around his eyes crinkling in the corners as he threw his head back, giggling like the buffoon he was. “Baby love, that ain’t even the worst she’s ever heard from us! She’ll be fine.” He reassured you.
“She’s still a child, Joel.” You said with a huff, kissing the top of her furry head.
“Yes, she is, and unfortunately our child is gonna have to leave the premises now unless she wants to be scarred for life.” He said playfully.
“Well, I’m not gonna move her. You see how comfy she is right now? She’s in heaven.”
He snickered, “yeah, well no shit sherlock. She’s using your tits as her own personal pillow. Don’t worry, baby love. I ain’t jealous or anything.”
“Uh-huh. Sure you’re not feeling jealous right now Joel.”
“I ain’t!” He reiterated in a non convincing tone, and as soon as he reached for Artemis to gently lift her from where she was laying on your chest, she hissed and swatted at his hand with her paw.
“Hey!” He softly yelled, “I know her tits are like two fluffy clouds for ya, but there’s no swatting at me, young lady!” He scolded her as if she truly was able to understand what he was saying.
She hissed and swatted at him once more before she dashed out of his reach, ducking right under the bed before he could grab ahold of her.
You were in a fit of giggles over the whole thing until he looked over at you with a narrowed glare, lips pouted and looking extra kissable. “Think that’s funny, do ya?” He scoffed, “I’ll show you funny, baby love.”
When you and Joel finally got to business after messing around with one another for nearly an hour, he was having camera issues and of course the damn ring light stopped working halfway through!
This resulted in Joel fiddling with the switch, checking the wall outlet and adapter while you kept yourself stimulated. He looked rather silly being hunched over, balls hanging heavy between his thighs, muttering under his breath when the ring light still wasn’t working.
“Damn, baby. If only you could see my view from here!” You said teasingly with your hand between your spread thighs. He looked over his shoulder at you, narrowing his eyes and shook his head. “When I fix this damn thing, you are toast, baby love.” His threat was playful, but you knew he was dead serious.
“…If you ever fix it, that is.” You added.
“Hush up over there. I’m gonna fix it, dontcha worry your pretty little mind or pussy about it.” He gruffed out, giving the side of the ring light a firm smack! (As if that was going to fix it)
By some miracle, Joel smacking the shit out of it actually did work and he wasn’t going to waste another second before he practically launched himself back on the bed like a big cat pouncing on its prey. You’re both a mess of tangled lips, tongues and moans when he slips back inside of your messy cunt with ease.
The obscene squelching sounds your pussy made around his cock, and each heavy, deep thrust of his hips, spurred him on further as he withdrew his cock halfway. The thick, veiny girth of his cock was coated in a thick ring of your milky arousal gleaming under the soft glow of the ring light. He took a lungful of air, gearing up to give you his all: the grand finale as he slammed his hips forward, punching his cock into your cunt with a force that nearly knocked the own air from your lungs, eyes rolling back slightly when the head of his cock kissed your cervix, keening your hips to meet his deep thrust. And then you hear it. The sound is unmistakable, and the sudden growing redness on Joel’s already flushed cheeks confirms that you’re not having an auditory hallucination.
“Did you just…?” Your question hangs heavy in the heady, sex stained air.
His brows are furrowed together, sweat beading along the ridges on his forehead. He lets out a huff of air, cheeks turning an even brighter red. His head hangs between his shoulders in shame, and it’s hard for you to suppress the giggles from slipping past your lips.
“‘Scuse me, baby love.” He wheezes out an apology just as Artemis lets out the faintest gagging sound from the smell and darts out from under the bed and immediately runs to the door, slipping past the small opening in a successful escape.
You thread your fingers through the back of his hair, pulling him down so your faces are close together, “better out than in, ain’t that right?” You said with a giggle, rubbing your noses together.
He goes all bashful, cheeks still flushed red as you pepper his face with adorning kisses, “you fucked it outta me, baby love. My bad. ‘Scuse me again.” He grumbled.
“Baby, I don’t care that you farted. It’s natural, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, but you need to make me come, otherwise I’m gonna have to do it myself.”
“Oh, heavens! I can’t! Not after that! I’m so embarrassed right now, baby love. You’re just gonna have to continue without me.” He said dramatically, burying his face into your neck.
“Oh, baby. There, there. How about you roll over, and I’ll ride you the rest of the time? You can just lay there and look extra pretty for me.” You suggested.
You could feel his lips curve up into a grin against your glistening skin where he began to press light open mouthed kisses. “Okay. That’ll work, baby love.” He said in agreement.
What kinda man would he be if he turned down getting to see your pretty tits bounce while you rode his cock? Only fools would turn down that opportunity! Joel may have been a little embarrassed from passing a bit of gas, but he was no fool.
So, that’s how you ended up seated on his cock, giving him the perfect view that men dreamed of experiencing with you, but would never have the chance to. But of course your boyfriend was still feeling bashful over the whole incident and refused to look you in the eyes as you rode him. He brought his arms crossed over his face, hiding his eyes from your view until you had enough and grabbed his wrists in your palms, pinning them on either side of his head.
“Hey, you’re gonna look me in the eyes right now, or you don’t get to come.” You warned him. And between your stern tone, and his wrists clasped in your hands, he was in absolute sub heaven.
“Okay, mommy.” He said in his best sub voice.
You both burst into a mess of giggles, unable to take the moment seriously as you gently fell on top of his chest, tears welling in the corner of your eyes from how hard you were laughing. “Oh my god! Of course Tommy is the one with the daddy kink, and you’re the one with the mommy kink!”
Joel was mortified as he buried his face between your tits, hoping they would suffocate him and put him out of his misery.
“Shuddup. I didn’t say that! I never—okay, so it slipped. Big deal!” He scoffed between your breasts, blowing a light raspberry against your soft skin. “For the record, we are not uploading this.”
“Oh, fuck off! We absolutely have to upload this, Joel. We’ll title it, ‘blooper reels with my baby love’. And people will eat that shit up!”
He let out a strained groan, burying his face further into your breasts. “Fine.” He gave in, wrapping his strong arms around you, hugging you tightly to him before he thrusted upwards into your spent cunt with no given warning. “Only after you come all over my fuckin’ cock, baby love.”
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Dad! Levi: first diaper change
Warnings: pregnancy, birth description (not graphic) Nasty baby poop.
Levi has been practicing for months for this moment. Mentally preparing. The day is here and it’s currently wiggling around in discomfort towards being naked and cold.
Labor was nothing for you, the nurses were surprised how fast your baby boy came considering it was your first birth. You were practically crowning in the car, only reason you were composed (as much as you could) was because Levi was calm. Seeing him immediately get everything that was already packed for the hospital in the car, shoes on, and helped you get in the car with no panicking made things a little easier on you.
Now your baby is here, in need of a diaper change. You’ve been discharged and sent home and while you rest Levi stands before your son who lays on a changing table and is absolutely disgusted by this babys poop. He didn’t expect it to be so dark. He did not read about that in any of the baby books, perhaps he skipped it. Levi panicked a bit but google calmed him down stating it’s very normal.
Levi immediately puts his disgust to the side and starts cleaning.
“Jesus kid, you just got here. Alright, alright no need to get mad I know it’s cold. You’ll be bundled up in no time” Levi says as your baby is squirming and whining. The baby is cleaned and changed, bundled back up in his little onesie and swaddled (Levi is a champ at that). He takes the baby and settles him into one arm while he disposes of the diaper. “$70 for a trash can, isn’t that ridiculous bud? Probably not as ridiculous as the $1200 stroller. That was all me though, only the best for you.”
Levi continues to walk around with your baby in his arms and the baby is asleep, soothed by his father’s voice.
“Happy you’re here bud, hope I can be the best dad you deserve. Your mom is already the best no question there.”
“You wouldn’t believe how happy she was when she learned she was pregnant, and don’t get me started when we learned the gender.” Levi sits in the rocking chair in the corner of the room.
“Can’t just blame her I might’ve bought one too many outfits too” Levi softly rocks the both of them back and forth. He looks down at his peacefully sleeping son and lightly smiles. “Love ya bud, gross poops and all.”
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