#they are not for me

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Saw a thread about how feeling positive emotions is generally really dangerous to interpersonal relationships when you are neurodivergent. Mostly because feelings of joy impead judgement and lead to the mask slipping. The mask slipping gets you in trouble as a general rule. So you put all your mental energy into maintaining a baseline emotional state that most people would associate with depression.

Because feeling joy is always met with a negative response from others. You feel joy and the mask slips. You might info dump on your latest fixation. You might talk a million miles an hour. You might start a conversation halfway through your thoughts. You might do something impulsive and stupid.

And that is always met with "you are bad/annoying/ horrible to be around etc." And may permanently damage a relationship because despite the fact that your brain works differently, you still want to be social. You still want to be loved despite being told that, as you are it is not physically possible for others to do so. You can not be accepted as you are, you can not be loved.

So in order to get that human interaction that you still need you learn to employ a base line depression at all times. You know that the negative feelings are safe, when you hate yourself and everything you are you suddenly become acceptable to others.

Feeling positive emotions in public eventually becomes associated with danger. It is dangerous to feel happy. Happiness means you come out, happiness means rejection. You are hypersensitive to rejection.

So you stop feeling it, when you do, you actually start to panic. You can only be safely happy if you completely isolate yourself from everyone.

So then you begin to isolate yourself so that you can safely feel and be you.

Because you are not acceptable. It hit hard.

Because this is my entire experience and then some. It makes me physically ill to feel joy. Unless I am alone, and I can never share it with others. Because my positive emotions are not ok, they are not acceptable and I can not be accepted or loved. It's not possible.

#rambling about divergence #like seriously #its messed up #ignore it #thinking about why i dont do romantic relationships irl anymore despite wanting it #they are not for me

[separatist-apologist]

I agree the sand sex scene was not exactly it lol, but I want to give you hope that there is a different smut scene (or maybe just like sexual tension, I don’t remember at this point) later in this book that I think you will like. I won’t say who or when or anything, but man it rewired my brain chemistry a little bit. Hope this gives you some semblance of motivation to keep going

Also I was just thinking about it and if you needed a break from this book, you technically could start ToD, you don’t really need to follow the tandem guide exactly. Just finish eos before finishing tod and I think it would be fine. Whatever works for you!

I know exactly what you're talking about (I am not immune to spoilers) and I admit, I am not looking forward to it because I don't like that pairing

#Dorian x [redacted] yeah? #they are not for me

[ravenkings]

#making big purchases on my phone gives me anxiety ngl #i think i find it less trustworthy for some bizarre and irrational reason #twitter

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

staff: our april fools joke this year is a silly feature that doesn't really do anything but give you a button to boop other users! they have to opt-in first though :)

me:

#mine #tumblr #boop #don't get me wrong I love booping but. hm

[blueboxbeagle]

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

#Tutorials & References #Gemstones #Jewels #Art Reference #Writing Reference #Gemstones Reference #If the original marker wants me to take this down I will

[callmebliss]

Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way opened to it?

#calculus #understanding #integrals #let me sum up

[cemeterything]

it really is insane how waking up early will grant you access to some of the most beautiful sights and sensations in the world that will make you want to live forever, but only if you overcome the gauntlet of a thousand razors that is getting out of bed early. truly one of life's little saw traps.

#🐉 #save me morning mist and sunrise

[whiteshipnightjar]

Zoozve, my beloved

#i cannot tell you how much this made me smile just bc it's so full of love #moon #venus #zoozve #long post #sorry about that it's very long but it's very entertaining i hope you enjoy this lil zoozve gem haha #astronomy #astrophysics #space

[knifefightscene]

#this is so funny to me #from textpost u came to textpost u shall return #7

[sirompp]

hi. i made some images.

feel free to take them and use for whatever you may need them for. no credit required

#me tag🍭 #i might make more if anyone asks for them #EDIT: no im not lol #aro #aromantic #aroallo #alloaro #aroace #aromantic asexual #ace #asexual #<-WOWIE!! thats a lot of tags!!!

[bookslutskye]

so i recently got top surgery and this was on my discharge papers after a mild complication

#me and my family have been laughing about this nonstop #transmasc #top surgery #book talks

[phosphorus-noodles]

Reblog to let your followers know that they’re safe from jumpscares/screamers/etc from you on April 1st but they are NOT safe from getting boop’d like an idiot amen

#:3c #pho.posts #april fools #boop #april fools day #1k #5k #10k #20k #50k #75k #these numbers mean Nothing to me anymore...

[separatist-apologist]

Have you ever said why you don't like From Blood and Ash? I thought most people liked that book. Was it just the newest book that put you off them?

I don't think I ever have, actually. Maybe once, when I answered a "fandom calm down" thing, but not like, my personal problems with it. I have the first three books but I quit after book two. This was right when I was getting back into reading for fun and not academia. My friend who suggested ACOTAR was like, if you liked those books, try FBAA. I trusted her and bought the first three so I didn't have to wait on them like I did for ACOSF.

The first book is...okay. It's interesting enough but the premise of very sheltered teenager who is a badass assassin is always annoying to me, it's why I think TOG also was hard for me. The problem is that the authors tell you "she is the best" and then when they show you, she's actually REALLY bad. Poppy wasn't AWFUL but her experience makes no sense considering she never had any practice until the book starts, and theoretical killing and real life killing are different? Also if Hawke kept catching her, you're telling me no one else did?

To be very honest, I was willing to overlook some of my main criticisms of the book (the cringy dialogue, repetition, and bad editing) because the story IS interesting. It moves, for the most part. Only a few middle places were really stagnant and I chalked that up to first book world-building syndrome.

But BOOK TWO was a SLOG it was so awful. The world building was out of control at that point, the constant "Why?" "Poppy with a question" jokes got old like, the third time it happened. There is just NOTHING happening for like, 300-400 pages that at some parts I was just skimming to get through it. Everything interesting happens in the last 50 pages and the build up is wonky or non-existent. JLA isn't interested in creating ACTUAL tension so she resolves it with a snap of her fingers and then creates more instead of teasing out her more interesting plot narratives. The pretend "will they/wont they" with Casteel and Poppy was the worst, though. I hated that so much. It made no sense and wasn't believable and instead of them working on their relationship its just snap "we're together now after I said we wouldn't be".

And all the old problems, of course (bad editing, cringy dialogue, repetition). I'm a big believer that reading should be fun and if books are boring/bad, stop reading them. You'll never catch me doing a hate read. I have the third book on my shelf but I've never read it and I never will. And seeing the blow up on book 4 was kind of validating because FINALLY people were admitting that these books are way overhyped for what they are, they're badly written, the world building is so big and complex the author cannot keep track of it and instead of fleshing any of it out she just adds more and more as it suits her. I don't think they ever should have been more than three books. Whatever is happening now could probably all exist in three tightly written books.

And obviously if you like them, you're allowed to. I'm not saying anything about the people reading them. I like plenty of trash nonsense (ask me about the reverse harem monster books I can't put down, like I am no stranger to badly written smut books). I think my issue is that they get treated as if they ARE really well done and the people who don't like them are just haters of popular fiction.

#anti jla #just to be safe #not tagging anything else because like read and let read #they are not for me

[mandycantdecide]

#seems like a good deal to me #boop #boopometer #april fools day

[skipppppy]

“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.

You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are

#the venn diagrom of anti-self ID people and people who go around yelling about ‘spotting narcissists’ on reddit is a circle #sorry this has bugged me for a while #ableism

[clairenatural]

there's a cherry blossom tree in DC that keeps blooming every year even though it shouldn't and the park service keeps thinking it's dead and then it keeps blooming! well they're removing a lot of trees to rehabilitate the area and they've said it's finally time for stumpy to go and they're going to mulch it and use the mulch to enrich all the other trees so it can help everything else keep going. and they're also going to plant spliced little pieces of it all over so that stumpy can live forever and this is genuinely sending me into a spiral

#someone brought it flowers today........... #this half dead little tree that nobody thought would survive this long means everything to me