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birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo · 11 months

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TWO TOWERS THOUGHTS!!!!

there are more of these bc the two towers is probably my favourite of the trilogy, despite the distinct LACK of boromir 😔

BUT i did notice a few things that baby birb totally ignored or forgot about!!! find out what they are........below 😈

one of baby birb's fav shots of aragorn was when he's lying across a rock tracking merry and pippin bc it reminded me of that one episode spongebob squarepants where the lads end up riding a rock to the customer's house 🤣 'it's not a boulder, it's a rock! a big, beautiful ROCK!!' lmao

baby birb ALSO loved all the shots of everyone running. as a smol individual, i had to run EVERYWHERE to keep up with the Tall Folk 😒 sure it was nice seeing THOSE feckers sprinting for a change!!

am still very confused about why anyone listened to grima what's his name, ur man's half the way to gollum u know 👀

tangential to the running scenes: i love aragorn's doofy run where he's flinging his one arm about like a silly. reminds me of my OWN unhinged run 🤣 (it is possible that these films are more deeply imprinted upon me than i thought 😅)

'LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!!!'

legolas's FACE every time he has an emotion. delightful

knowing that viggo mortensen broke his toe made me laugh at the helmet kicking scene tbh, i know it's meant to be poignant but that EXTREMELY REALISTIC scream of pain got me going like 🤣

shout out to treebeard holding merry and pippin in his tree hands. i kept thinking 'what if he just. smashes them together like barbie dolls 🤣'

ORCSES. HOBBITSES. i actually love gollum-smeagol, he's too pathetic for me to hate. HE'S LITERALLY SAT THERE SINGING HIS LIL SONG AND EATING A RAW FISH. LEAVE HIM GO HE'S NOT BOTHERING ANYONE ;A;

that gifset ruined everything for me. 'this forest is old......very old....' old as balls. that's just the line now. i no longer acknowledge the original. 😔

cheeky gandalf!! 'u wouldn't part an old man from his walking stick!! 🥺😳😘🤭🙄' (<- this is how birb thought using emojis worked a scant five years ago. be GRATEFUL i was not on tumblr back then, for the carnage would have been GREAT AND TERRIBLE!!!)

i love love LOVE the scene of the trio beating the shite out of the bg guys while gandalf walked slowly toward the king. u just see legolas punching a dude in the face, aragorn ZOOMING round in front of gandalf and off to the side, it's hilarious 🤣

whEN THEY TOSS GRIMA DOWN THE STAIRS LIKE JGY 👀

so many ICONIC lines!!! 'boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!!'

'it's the beards 👀'

U DROP ARAGORN OFF A CLIFF???? OH! OH! JAIL FOR ORCS!! JAIL FOR ORCS FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!

rip eowyn, she's so lonely and sad that the slightest validation from a hot guy she's known for five minutes was enough to make her fall stupid in love with him 😔

(i am also stupid in love with him, but it's different when i do it bc. um. uhhhh. 👀😳)

god he IS great tho, isn't he??? he's so dirty and greasy and wet and soggy, i love him and his dirty face and his dirty clothes and his dirty hands i love him i love him i lo

legolas got SO ANGRY about the orc telling them aragorn went over the cliff, he took it SO PERSONALLY. this makes birb want them to kiss each other 😊

they can kiss gimli as well, i don't mind!!

also the king awkwardly patting legolas on the shoulder like he's a slightly homophobic dad trying to comfort his gay son after a break-up, 'i still care about u but im super uncomfortable so im just not gonna say anything ok?? ok. manly head nod. im out 😐'

OPEN MOUTH KISSING??? BEFORE MARRIAGE????!!!!!!! OBSCENE!!!!!! LEAVE ROOM FOR THE HOLY GHOST!!!

side note: poor elrond, here he is trying to make sure his daughter has a good life and all she wants is to marry the dirty ranger like

'u think u know a girl, u raise her for 2000 or whatever years, organise her birthday parties and buy her a pony and teach her how to control the river, and then in the end she leaves u behind and marries a guy with a fraction of her lifespan, dooming herself to future suffering and despair smh 😔'

also arwen's face when aragorn is breaking up with her,,,,,'what did daddy say to u?? this is bc of what he said, isn't it?! i can't believe he's still interfering with my love life!!!!' ;A;

that lil ~half caress~ aragorn does to legolas's hand when he's returning arwen's necklace to him????? it's like??? idk super romantic??? it made my stomach go SWOOP?? if i stare at a gif of this scene i feel a bit dizzy??? is that weird. am i. weird 👀

i want them to make out with each other, sorry lads 😔

the annoying thing in all these medieval fantasy type stories, when there's not enough men for the war, they're always conscripting 10 year old boys, while the teenage girls and young women without any kids are hiding with the elders and children. LIKE. HOW can u justify sending little 8 yo haleth son of hama to the front lines?? LOOK AT HIM!! HE'S TINY!!! surely a 15 - 21 year old young woman would have a better chance of NOT DYING than a wee lad!!! they're peasants, they're used to hard labour!! do directors/writers etc think it's more ~realistic~ or sth?? do ppl think NO WOMAN ever took up a sword in a crisis??? even if certain things are Not Done (and in some places, even under penalty of DEATH), the Rules tend to fly out the feckin window once there's an emergency!!! I THINK 10,000 ORCS MARCHING ON HELM'S DEEP COUNTS FOR AN EMERGENCY???????

all im saying. is if we're all going to die anyway, then EVERYONE should get a sword. even the kids. ESPECIALLY the kids. it went really well in the walking dead when the lil girls each had a pistol. i promise i can be trusted with weapons i p romi s

the best thing in medieval-style warfare is when the two armies stand across from each other and shout insults back and forth for a bit, like 'you're ugly!' or 'you're smelly!' or 'i slept with your sister, and it weren't anything to write home about!!'

please could somebody fetch gimli a ladder, ur mans can't see above the fecking wall like nnO NO NOT THAT KIND OF LADDER

legolas and gimli counting their kills will never NOT be funny to me

MY KING A BEAST!! LOOK AT HIM GO!!! HE RODE A FUCKING LADDER AND CRASHED INTO A BUNCH OF ORCS LIKE A KILLER WHALE GOING AFTER SEALS!!! ;A;

god when he shoves open those doors and ARRIVEs it's so so so fucking hot. god he is sso hot. he's so hot i love him i love him i

lol they sneak out the side door like 'hee hee hoo hoo, no one shall see us~' 🤣

'TOSS ME!!!!!' *yeets the dwarf*

legolas SHIELD SURFING!!! HANG TEN, BRO!!! GNARLY WIPE OUT!!! 🤙

im sorry

imagine being such an asshole that u make the fucking TREES angry??? like, u make the trees hate u SO FUCKING MUCH. that they literally come MARCHING OUT OF THE FOREST to commit mass property damage???? 👀

when i watched the scene i shouted 'TILL BIRNAM WOOD DO COME TO HIGH DUNSINANE!!!!' out loud but nobody laughed ._.

come onnnn it's funny right??? esp since we know that 'no man of woman born' can kill the guy in the next film!!! iT'S FUNNY, RIGHT??? ;A;

sam and frodo tumbling down the stairs also made me laugh but i paid for it immediately after when sam goes 'it's your sam. don't you know your sam?' fucknig KILL MEEEEE PLS

the most iconic, most beautiful, most painful line of the film-----the one that always makes me cry, the one i couldn't forget if i wanted to, the words that stand between me and DEATH------

'That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.'

GOD. IM FUCKING DEAD 😭😭😭😭 beautiful delivery as well, shout out to samwise gamgee for being the best man to walk middle earth, i will now lie in a puddle of my own tears _(:3」∠)

#birb watch #birb rewatches the lotr trilogy #the two towers #lotr #i ufkcnig lvoe thisee films but they leave me EXHAUSTED #ThEY ARE SO SO LONG #anD I APPEAR TO HAVE AUDHD????#BAD MIX ;A;#i passed out right after again lmaooo #we might save the final film for tuesday i think i need time to recover #aaaaaa the two towers is my fav i love it so much i can't stand it ;A;#sorry for having basic bitch ships but uhhhh #actually im not sorry :D #tho tbh i'd happily ship anyone and everyone with each other #peace and love in middle earth

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gontagokuhara · 6 months

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OKAY I FORGOR💀 TO MENTION THIS actually idk if I already said this but I LOVE the way you write kokichi? Like kokichi's jesterism clowncore energy is not talked about enough in this fandom, he's not just a lying troll, he can also be a corny little canned-bit filled jokester! He can be your angle! Or yuor devil! But he and Kaede give off such an "annoying little brother"/"exhausted oldest sister" vibe in pointy objects it never fails to make me laugh and also feel feelings!

Also ngl writing my lil (literally >2k) review gave me the energy to do my writing assignment so thank you for indirectly but also directly contributing to me not failing my class LMFAO

hi hello!! first of all thank u again for ur very sweet comments i keep rereading them . actively working on the next chapter and i reread them like an hour ago <3 also you are so me re: the writing thing literally i am writing this long ass response out as a warm up to getting started on the chapter again I SEE U. solidarity u got this class

as always below the cut because i like to yap (no spoilers butttttttt call it a small hint of what's to come next chapter)

ANYWAY !!! im glad people like that choice <3 his general silliness tends to get lost in canon in the midst of such a heavy fraught situation (where his dumbass is instigating fights constantly......) and so i feel it more natural to have it bleed into him in pointy objects you know? his backpack also offers just unreal opportunities for clownery and i can't help myself. i have issues with a lot of canon/fanon portrayals of kokichi so with him (as i do miu, and kiyo, and kaito, etc) i like to do the classic mogul move yoink & twist. i take character that needs fixer-uppering, mash 'em around like playdoh, and make them mostly the same but......better in my humble opinion. i feel like i do that pretty well with kokichi, and hearing those choices are appreciated makes me very happy <3

in that vein the kaede/kokichi dynamic is SOOOO important its one of my favorites ive worked into pointy objects i think. justice for my real protag kaede BUT her biting the dust so early both robbed canon content of what a friendship between them could look like. but it also gives me LOTS of room to pick up their barbie dolls and make them have good moments together. speaking of pointy objects canon, they arrived at camp within about a year of each other, before a lot of the other mainstay demigods began living there full time. gonta, miu, kaede, maki, and kokichi spent a lot of time as the only ones at camp; kids like kirumi/tenko/himiko/angie/kiyo are all summer-only, and full-timers ryoma, kaito, and kiibo came later (ages 14, 16, and within a few months of sonia giving them a soul [roughly the same stretch of time as ryoma's arrival], respectively).

all that lore TO say: kaede and kokichi grew up together in a lot of really important ways, and the dynamic that developed over the years very much is that exhausted older sister/exhausting little brother who are fiercely and kind of unexpectedly protective over one another. i could go on about all of the early full-time campers' dynamics because there's a lot within those five especially that i've like. developed in my brain? but havent fit into the 170k words 💀 the mind palace of spiderwebbing character relationships is very vast for how much has actually made it into the fic.....but wink wonk we WILL see a taste of it this next chapter

and finally, re edits: i did my one BIG edit fest back in may, and since then there haven't been any major changes. that said, i do reread the prior chapters quite often (checking details to make sure new writing doesn't have any discrepancies, getting myself back in the headspace to write shuuichi's voice, etc) and do occasionally find typos or phrasing or sentence flow i like changed, so i do fix those as i see them. that said, i DO know what you're talking about with chapter 3; that was a chapter i did pretty majorly redo in may, and there was definitely some redundant word use and odd sentence structure i went back and corrected. but i haven't made any changes that drastically alter the contents of the story; not more so than i did back in may, at least!

ok this as always got very long but it was as always very fun to answer!!!! thank you again for all your support MWAH MWAH and im sure we'll make contact again soon enough!!

#ask #bittercideristaken #pointy objects #ALSO.......when i think about you in my brain im split between calling you 'bitter' or 'cider' DO u have a preference <3

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losthomunculus · 2 years

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What's the instant hit ship that prompted your post and do you hate it?

im spoilering all the ship names so I don't show up in any of their tags but heed my warning for some (polite) criticism

hrmm ok I don't really hate it but I just cannot get into cyn*nari. ships that are created before we even meet a character tend to not land for me cause I dont really care about the character yet and I'm the type who likes to observe and psychoanalyze before I mash my metaphorical barbie doll's faces together.

I do kinda hate y*eyato tho cause when it cropped up it seemed people were using it to intentionally piss off eim*ko fans. which like I dont even have a problem with m/f yae it just seemed weirdly targeted the way some people were talking abt it. also again- we hadn't met ayato at that point. now it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth cuz of the drama.

ch*lumi is another one I really dislike but that's more into why I dislike a lot of m/f ships. I feel like there's an assumption that you can just put a man and woman next to each other and itll imply romance and it makes for very very lazy development. (that's like a big problem in shounen action I've noticed cause like obviously the romance isn't the focus but damn dude if you can develop an emotionally intimate relationship between 2 of the main guys at least give us something between who we're supposed to believe is in love.) also the fanworks I've seen for it seem.. overwhelmingly cishet.

even with my ships that are already gay I'm usually playing 4d interdimensional chess with their gender and whatnot, mostly cause I find my own gender to be something complex that I'm constantly exploring. so my assorted headcanons give me a playground to explore gender expression in a way that mirrors and contrasts to mine.

I think it can be very present when a m/f ship is queer. I've written my own m/f relationships that are palpably queer. Even if both parties are cis. Most ch*lumi content I've seen though? It's not that. which is really a shame cause even though I'm not really a traveler ship person and I really like childe and lumine as a platonic duo and I think I might like them as a ship if people made them gay as fuck. I'm more attached to other ships tho so I don't really care to get any sort of investment in that.

I can also tell when queer content is written by straight people sometimes which is just as bad lmfao. not saying straight people cant write gay romance, in fact I know many people find learn about their sexuality through writing so I fully endorse it, but you can usually tell when it's written by someone who is straight in a "I am conceptually okay with gay people but I have done nothing to unpack my beliefs that have occurred as a result of being raised in a cisheteronormative society" way. gay people are also fully capable of writing and thinking like this though so more literally I mean straight in like, a cultural/ideological way. if that makes any sense. Straight™

also definitely have seen the same thing in gender fics but I try not to be too judgemental cause like. I know half of the time their egg isn't cracked yet and they'll figure it out in a year or two. I've read several gender fics that start with the author saying "I'm not trans I just relate to their experiences" and lo and behold pronoun change in bio so like. yeah. let the chick hatch on it's own and all that.

I also dislike je*nluc for the same "people write them too cishet to have any appeal to me" reasons but also I personally headcanon diluc as gay so there's that.

also dont like b*nnett/f*schl/r*zor or any variations cuz I have my silly little siblings razor and fischl hc and then just. idk either of them with bennett doesn't really spark anything in me and it's one of those "I like them as friends so struggling to find platonic content of them has made me mildly annoyed" type deals.

no judgement to anyone who likes any of these ships of course! I think they're all perfectly fine even if they don't resonate with me on a personal level :^] except people who're into y*eyato for spite that's weird <3

I kinda got off track with that but <3 yeah

#long post #gi crockpot #askbox #anon

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junicai · 3 years

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Relationship with WAYV

➣ KUN ☾ karia

if it wasn’t for dotae potentially coming to kill him, he would steal aria into wayv

he’s the cool dad?

they can’t spend a lot of time together because none of their schedules match up, but aria takes every third or so weekend out to come have dinner in the wayv dorms

she’s surprisingly close to the china line, and its a combination of ten dragging her to his dorm for an entire month and them just kinda adopting her when they realized she was a foreigner as well

yuta can fight them, she’s one of them now

he doesn’t like to baby her a lot, and she really appreciates the break from being the “maknae” so to speak

however does that stop him from giving her the forehead kithes? no

aria sad? forehead kith

aria mad? forehead kith

aria smad? forehead kith + kuddles (kun cuddles)

he has sent her a passive agressive text when he found out that she wasn’t eating enough again and had almost passed out

but he finished it with a heart so its ok

if she isn’t smiling at all times, someone will die

aria feels like she can trust him with a lot; that no matter what she tells him, he’ll never out her or make fun of her

kun actually took a two-week online course to learn how to make traditional japanese dishes when aria mentioned missing her parents

he originally was going to learn how to make irish dishes, but he changed his mind after seeing what they were

“im not giving my kids boiled cabbage and mashed potatoes what kind of post world war-”

wants to give her a chinese name but hasn’t yet because he hasn’t found the one that fits her right and he wants it to be perfect

aria teaches him japanese phrases in exchange for him teaching her a little bit of mandarin

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria saw kun’s back as she entered the practice room, the man standing with three other members in the centre of the floor before the choreographer came in to start their practice. coming up behind him, she wrapped her arms around his waist, peeking her head around from where she was. “hi!” she smiled brightly.

“hi,” ten chuckled, showing her the camera that had just filmed all of that.

➣ TEN ☾ tenaria

Whipped(TM)

so so gone for her its upsetting actually

yangyang and aria share the position of his baby

except aria willingly accepts the title while yangyang would rather fling himself from a rooftop

ten’s instagram is half his cats, half miyazu aria

he posts her dancing practice on his story a lot, with a variety of captions ranging from “thats my baby ♡( ◡‿◡ )” to “yah that’s not right...(눈_눈)”

such an enabler for her bad ideas

aria wants to go shopping at 4am? ten agrees, now they’re sitting by han river eating ice cream

pls he’s gonna get her in so much trouble one day

when they walk together, ten likes to take her hand and put it in his pocket

its under the pretense of not wanting her to get lost

he just wants to hold her hand

yes he has lost her in a shopping mall, and NO it wasn’t his fault

ten always complains that they never have schedules together and he misses his baby

“we have superm-” “I NEVER SEE YOUUUU (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ”

if they’re in the same room ten is either watching her out of the corner of his eye, or is actually wrapped around her like a boa constrictor

hugs n kithes all around

only he is allowed make fun of her mistakes in dancing

anyone else gets deaded. he will fight for her honor how dare you insult his baby

sm give these ttwo a dancing duo video pls

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

the first and only time aria and ten had a duet was during their last concert on superm’s first world tour. during the second half of ten’s solo performance, aria emerged from the left side of the stage, coming to join him in the centre stage. no one had ever seen aria as serious as she was then, both herself and ten becoming completely different people in the moment. midway through, aria spun with her back to ten and leaped backwards into the air - eyes closed - completely trusting ten to be where she needed him to be to catch her.

➣ WINWIN ☾ winria

a love hate relationship at its finest

they don’t actually hate each other it’s just really funny to pretend that they do (especially because yuta complains that 2 of his favourite people aren’t getting along)

winwin is so savage towards aria but it’s ok she claps back twice as hard

at first, before czennies had seen enough of their dynamic they thought that they actually did hate each other

but that’s not true they just don’t know how to express, affection, without brutally insulting the other with a loving tone

they are, surprisingly, the most stable pairing in 127 - they have a dynamic and rarely stray from that, which is a good comfort for the fans

despite what they might say to each other, they don’t mean any of it - and winwin has been seen several times raising his eyebrows with a questioning look at aria to make sure she wasn’t taking any of his playful jabs to heart

oh god the flexibility

the entirety of nct is terrified of them

the day sm gives them a circus act is the day that kun and taeyong have a heart attack

quietly supportive of each other - catch aria “playing” with a water bottle and not getting up to get it when it conveniently rolls across the floor and into winwin’s leg

he makes sure to save some new chinese sweets whenever the wayv members get packages from their familes, and sneak it into aria’s room before the managers can catch her breaking her diet

not really physically affectionate with each other, which played into czennies idea that they didn’t like each other but aria cleared it up in a vlive

“winwinnie and I, well. we don’t hug a lot because i know he doesn’t like it as much as i might, so i try to show him i care with other things :)”

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

winwin and aria going in to each other on knowing brothers, to the point where the mc’s had their eyes popping out of their head and waved about to stop the segment before aria could start attacking winwin’s cooking methods-

nothing is off limits when it comes to them

➣ LUCAS ☾ arihei

besties

please they’re so cute together - tol child next to tini child she barely comes up to his chest :(

bear hugs

he just swamps her in his arms, and when he doesn’t feel like being bent over he picks her up

complains that she’s too heavy but then immediately after will throw her around like a softball

someone tell this man to be careful with her she’s not a barbie doll

singular braincell energy

don’t get it wrong, they’re both super smart

so it’s just - being smort together, but then nearly dying because neither of them remembered that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough when there are eggs in it

she adores how he’s so confident in the things that he does - like convincing the entire nct fandom that he was fluent in english? king behaviour

so aria looks up to him (literally) but also because she wants to have that confidence some day

lucas says they’re not close and then aria pouts and he takes it all back

nczennies made a 14 minute compilation titled “lucas melting like a popsicle in australia for aria”

and literally what the title tells you, this man goes :(( when he sees her

lucas was actually the person to convince her to go ahead with the [redacted] proposal - and reminded her that it was too good an opportunity to pass up just because she felt like she was outgrowing the boys

he’s so proud of her

and she’s so proud of him

they’re so proud of each other and it makes nczennies want to cry because they never are seen together

sm stop separating the platonic soulmates first markhyuck and now arihei smh

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

during a photoshoot, aria was standing off to the side of the boys, dressed in white suit to contrast the boys’ black ones. the photographer was calling out to her to get her to move closer, but she couldn’t hear him from so far away, and so lucas (who was on the end) just walked over to her, gripped her by the biceps and lifted her vertically and to the left a little bit.

“luc-LUCAS?”

“you had to move :)”

➣ XIAOJUN ☾ arijun

honestly these two aren’t super close, just because their schedules never matched up until the NCT 2020 promotions

even when aria was dragged to the wayv dorms, xiaojun kept his distance from her because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable

even so, when they were filming Make A Wish together, they seemed comfortable enough around each other

there was a mutual agreement to not try fill the silence with awkward small talk, so they sat in silence when left alone together

they’re both shy :( someone needs to get them to talk to each other :(

even so, aria was all supportive smiles and thumbs-up when she saw him getting nervous before their first public stage as the unit

he was a little intimidated of her at first, but also really curious about how she was holding her own against the other members

not only physically, but her vibes are tiny let the man be concerned ok

his first impression of aria was just: small quiet? she was sitting apart from the other boys in the practice room, and he almost wanted to go over and ask her if she was ok; before she was approached by donghyuck and her face broke into a bright smile

aria’s first impression of xiaojun was: eyebrows he was really handsome? at first, she thought he was in the wrong room, seeing as the SM modeling auditions were happening in the next room down

any arijun shippers are starved of content im so sorry guys

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

currently still up for debate between the fandom :(

➣ HENDERY ☾ aridery

ah these two

you might as well sign a waiver if you decide to do anything with them, because they can and will get you killed

kun can testify

ten’s the enabler but hendery is the do-er

super giggly around each other, for no reason at all

hendery could pick up and throw a basketball and suddenly aria’s on the floor in literal stitches

have a secret code

no seriously

they don’t text in words, they just send various reaction memes and a colourful variety of emojis to convey emotions and scenarios

it’s become quite a beautiful language actually

got some nice proverbs in there

they’re like, cousins but the ones you only see at family reunions but get so hype to see them

that energy

asides from the chaotic, murderous vibes they possess as a duo

hendery knows what it’s like to miss home, to miss your parents, etc etc

and so he tries to make aria feel as home as possible - especially with wayv, because they’re all foreigners who know how she feels

whenever he gets packages from his parents who have sent things over, he always makes sure to keep some of the small treats/sweets back for aria

1. because he knows she’ll appreciate the thought and she gives good hugs

2. because he knows she’s on a diet constantly and never allowed eat these things when she’s in the dorms with managers around

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

filming the Resonance “Wish” event, aria was put in a skimpy minimalistic mock-suit to differentiate from the others’ clothes. unfortunately, that left aria with a little too much shoulder and chest on display than she would like, and she was noticeably uncomfortable with her clothes, constantly pulling it up and even going so far as to just hold it with her hands.

hendery saw this, and knew he was finished filming his segment for the time being, so he pulled off his own jacket and tossed it over to aria, who caught it with a grateful smile. “thank you,” she mouthed to him, tugging the dark blue material over her shoulders.

➣ YANGYANG ☾ ariyang

aria. has 9 days of age on this boy and will never let him forget it

“respect your elders you brat” “9. DAYS.”

european pals

they feel so cultured when they get asked about europe, and then are kindly reminded by hendery that A. Germany started 2 world wars, and B. Ireland was just a British colony until 100 years ago.

they both hit him for that

aria teaching him curse words in irish and yangyang teaching her curse words in german? more likely than you’d think

they met before yangyang’s debut was announced, in a practice room that had let them accidentally overlap their practice times

instead of working it out between them, they actually just started to alternate their songs - and the other gave them some good, constructive criticism

most of the time

when they found out they were going to be in 90s Love together, they were so happy

it was going to be their first official schedule together

all the behind-the-scenes videos are just aria and yangyang being children and then ten coming over and cooing at them

they love ten, but they will trash talk the man behind his back

yangyang confessed to her that he sometimes feels nervous when speaking korean, like he’s going to make a big mistake

so she tries her best to teach and correct him where she can, and make him as comfortable as possible

if you look at any of the 90s Love promotions - aria is always beside yangyang

he bit her ear once

she doesn’t know why and he won’t tell her

but now when she makes fun of him, he threatens to do it again

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria skating onto the rink during filming, and yangyang following her because she promised to teach him how to skate backwards.

“ok just, think like you’re leading with your heels. press your knees in, and push outwards, with you-no no that’s forwards. go backwards yangyang.”

“no no no thats a WALL YANGYANG STOP-”

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bucky-at-bedtime · 6 years

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The Bet Pt.2

Summary: You’ve spent the entirety of your college life avoiding parties and living a life of quiet Saturday nights and hangover-less Sunday mornings. That is, until Bucky Barnes cons you into attending 5 parties. Chaos ensues.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: None yet!

Words: 1599

A/n: Part 2 is here! Thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed part one! I hope this is worth the wait! (If you want to be tagged in this series feel free to send me a message or an ask!)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

You were being tortured. Some evil god was looking down at you and cackling, you were sure of it. Wanda was giggling in front of you as you tried to blink away the mascara she had just poked into your eye but it was difficult to blink when you had false eyelashes on that weighed a tonne.

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t torture - but it felt pretty close.

It had been 6 days since Bucky proposed his little scheme which meant it was Friday night and you were finally going to your first college party. Unwillingly. Not that any of your so-called friends cared.

“We wouldn’t go to all these parties if they weren’t a bit fun” Wanda mumbled, cleaning up the makeup around your eyes.

“It’s just not my thing!” There they were, those words that you have repeated incessantly for your entire college career.

“Well then, just think about the assignment” she gently moved a couple of your hairs from your face. “Now, go get changed”

Wanda and Natasha had taken it upon themselves to use you as their personal, life-sized Barbie doll. Walking into your room you found the little black dress they decided was appropriate party-wear and quickly put it on. It was short.

Finally, you turned, looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked… different. It was strange to see yourself in clothes and makeup you would never usually wear - not that you didn’t like dressing up, you just did it differently - it was as if someone had taken your brain and replaced it with some strange mash-up of Wanda and Natasha’s.

It was a little cliche – you walked down the hallway, a little wobbly on your heels, and everyone turned to look at you with varying responses of shock and awe – it felt like a movie.

“Damn, you have legs” Sam’s comment was alluding to the fact that you had never worn a dress this short in your life and you quickly poked your tongue out at him.

“You look hot!” Natasha stood up, walking over to adjust the straps of your dress.

“I feel unstable” you murmured, running a hand through your hair “let’s go, I wanna get this over with”

Everyone was up in an instant, out of their chairs and through the front door. Bucky, instead walked towards you, holding an arm out.

Bucky knew you weren’t comfortable in the dress you were wearing and he saw the way you wobbled on the heels. He just hoped you would still have fun - this was his idea after all. 5 parties. 5 chances to get you to come out of your shell.

“M’lady” he chuckled and you quickly hooked your arm under his, mostly for balance. You didn’t get very far. When you reached the top of the stairs outside your apartment, you stopped in your tracks. Bucky’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion at your abrupt halt.

“Alright, bet’s off, I’m going home”

“What?” Bucky looked at you incredulously “what are you talking about? We’re only 5 steps out of your apartment”

You gesture towards the daunting stairs with one hand, pointing at your heels with the other. “I already fall down stairs on a weekly basis - add these things into the mix and I’ll break my leg” It was true, only a couple of months ago you had fallen down these stairs and torn the ligaments in your ankle, you didn’t plan on doing it again.

He sighed, looking at you with one eyebrow raised before bending down in front of you. “Get on” he demanded “I’m not letting these stairs ruin our quest”

You groaned, but you knew he wouldn’t give up, so you found yourself awkwardly climbing onto Bucky’s back, your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. His hands moved so that they were underneath your thighs, holding you up and you shivered slightly when his hands touched your bare skin. You found yourself so close that when you breathed in you could smell the earthy scent of his shampoo. Your arms tightened around him subconsciously.

“Alright, onwards.” He started down the stairs making you laugh as he ran to catch up with others. You began to think that maybe this wouldn’t be that bad.

It was that bad.

When you rocked up at the frat house at around 8, you immediately knew it was going to be a long night. The booming dubstep was escaping every exit of the large house, you found yourself surprised that the ground didn’t shake in time with the shitty music. A car full of hysterical girls rocked up as you stood on the front lawn and one of them immediately threw up on the curb. You found yourself leaning over to Bucky, a hand on his arm.

“Good start” you spoke quietly and he looked down at you, a strained look on his face as he assessed the party, pulling you inside. He thought this was going to be a little more relaxed, but from the small snippet they had already seen, he was pretty sure this wouldn’t be your kind of party.

Now, a couple of hours since you arrived, you found yourself sitting in the bathroom, the cold edge of the bathtub digging into your thighs. There mightn’t have been any comfortable seating in here, but it was your best escape from the sleazy guys that kept trying to flirt. You had a beer in your hand but you were far from drunk, your feet aching from standing up in heels for too long. The music also had a hard time penetrating the bathroom walls, so your safe haven was filled with strange buzzing noises from the strong bass of the speakers rather than the actual deafening music. For the most part, this party was exactly what you remembered them to be.

You had watched as Natasha, Sam and Wanda did too many shots, far too quickly. Steve instantly went to find Sharon - the girl he’d been passively flirting with for what felt like years.

Bucky stayed with you for a little while, both of you downing a few beers and chatting idly, but he was soon pulled away by a girl in your fiction writing class. The last thing you had seen as you went to find your tiled retreat was her pushing her lips onto his.

Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you pulled it out, finding a couple of texts from a very drunk Natasha:

10:08: ‘Come dance with meeeeeeeee’

10:30: ‘We’re doin SHOTS’

10:33: ‘I miss yooou’

You didn’t bother responding, chuckling slightly at her enthusiasm before opening a couple of texts from Bucky:

10:15: ‘Are you okay? Where’d you go?’

10:31: ‘Doll, please respond, I’m worried’

You smiled down at the texts, your thumbs hovering over the keypad as you tried to think of a good excuse. Instead, you decided to call, holding the phone to your ear as you waited for him to pick up.

“Hey, what happened to you?” the music boomed through the phone and you winced slightly, pulling it away from your ear.

“I’m fine Buck, just retreated to the bathroom after a girl cried on my shoulder for a good twenty minutes” you let out a dry chuckle. “Y’know, my history paper is looking pretty good right now.”

You could basically feel him roll his eyes through the phone as he laughed. “Hey! I have four more chances.”

“I’m just saying, it’s not looking good for you, Barnes.”

“Give me a couple of minutes.” He hung up.

You weren’t exactly sure what he needed a couple of minutes for, but soon there was a knock on the door and he called your name through the chipped wood. You quickly yanked the door open, and he grabbed your wrist, pulling you out of the bathroom and down the hallway.

“Where are we going? I thought you were having a wonderful time with Hannah” you referenced the girl you had previously seen him making out with and he shook his head at you.

“This is a shitty party,” he said, briefly looking back at you. “It’s my fault you’re here and not having fun so, I’m getting you out of here.” He pulled you out the front door “let’s go for a walk”

“Bucky, I can’t just go for a stroll in these shoes” you complained, pulling your hand from his and gesturing to your aching feet. He looked down at them but something else on the porch caught his eye and he crouched down, picking up a pair of lime green crocs and putting them in front of your feet. “No way.” You crossed your arms. “I am not wearing crocs - that is a crime - so is stealing, we are not stealing someone’s crocs”

“C’mon, doll, it’s just me. No one else will see the crocs” his bright eyes were pleading at you, and you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or the fact that you immediately lost yourself in the blue of his iris’, but you slipped off the heels, replacing them with crocs.

“This is ridiculous.”

“Let’s go.” He hooked his arm under your elbow and pulled you away from the door and towards your apartment. “They bring out your eyes”

He laughed loudly as you punched him gently in the arm, unable to stop the grin from spreading across your face as you watched the corners of his eyes crinkle with his smile. “Shut up, Barnes”

Part 3

Tags:

@camillechan @projectxhappiness @fandoms-who @verycoolveryunique @brokenanxiety @confidentrose @bookgirlunicorn @anamcg317 @sebastianstanisagift @imshalida @phenomenalgoober (If I missed anyone, let me know!)

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walkingshcdow-a · 6 years

Note

🔥 gimme the salt on poto

Satly Saturday | Buckle Up. | Accepting!

Do you want ALL THE SALT or just some of it? Because i feel like I could write a dissertation on everything wrong with PotO and, more specifically, the Phandom and be only a diploma shy from my doctorate.

One of the things I’m incredibly angry about is that it is still an “unpopular opinion” that Meg Giry is anything but blonde and white. In the novel, she is described as “swarthy” with dark hair and eyes, but even if that were not the case, who does it harm to headcanon her as a WoC? I think it is much more damaging to ascribe white traits and white traits only to her, not only because in the Leroux text, she is not white, but because other interpretations of PotO, whether they be the stage show or a roleplay portrayal, should be more open to diversity in general. The world is diverse. And the world was diverse in the 19th century. Historians, novelists, and filmmakers tend to whitewash history and create a false monolith of Europe and the Americas, except when it furthers a particular narrative (typically revolving around the American South, even when the American South has no bearing on a story, like PotO, which takes place in a different country altogether). It’s disgusting.

The thing that gets me, though, is that the Phandom largely just accepts that Meg Giry is white and blonde. That’s the way it is in the stage show and since stage shows (and their subsequent film adaptations) are visual mediums, whereas novels rely on imagination, it’s “easier” to use images from the show to make aesthetics, fan art, etc. about Meg. It’s pure laziness most of the time; ignorance in other instances. This, to me, is dangerous in a different way than adamantly demanding Meg Be White for thinly veiled reasons tied up in racism. We know the latter is wrong. We take people to task on the latter. We demand more and better from our fandoms than casual, but intentional, racism. When it’s unintentional… or when it’s intentional because 99 percent of media including Meg Giry whitewashes her, we still hit that like button or that reblog button, instead of demanding better from our fandoms. I’m not calling for people to spam content creators with vitriol over their blonde, cherubic Meg Girys. I am calling for people to create more black Meg Girys, more Asian Meg Girys, more Jewish Meg Girys, more Latina Meg Girys, more Middle Eastern Meg Girys. Take what precious little Leroux gave us about her and expand your interpretation. Be kind to interpretations that are racially/ethnically different than the norm, or even than your own. The headcanons someone is posting about a Romani Meg Giry might be their way of connecting their own heritage to the text, of seeking representation that was hinted at in the book and destroyed in later interpretations. The fan art of a black Meg Giry might be a young woman’s way of seeing herself or her friends or her sisters in an art form (ballet) that has traditionally been unkind to WoC. Meg as a woman of color is so important - especially when you dare to mash up Leroux with ALW because the traits they each give her, when put together, create a complex and nuanced young woman that anyone might be happy to identify with. Whitewashing her takes that opportunity away from fans, especially young fans, who do not otherwise see themselves reflected in this beautiful melodrama. Ad who wants to be the gate keeper to a world of fun and joy? The ones we should be taking to task are the casting directors of PotO productions - especially in the US and UK, since those shows are most widely seen and publicized. Not just the ALW show (although I do hold the ALW show responsible for whitewashing Meg in the first place), but future productions of PotO by other creators.

I also think that for people who aren’t fans of Meg, who don’t pay her much mind, don’t understand why this is such a contentious issue for those of us who love her, whether we love her from Leroux, Webber, or another iteration. For me, the version I take issue with is the ALW version… largely because I believe ALW Meg to be a composite of Meg Giry, La Sorelli, and Cecile Jammes from the Leroux novel. You see traits of each woman reflected in ALW Meg. She’s aged up, perhaps not prima ballerina, but a principal dancer. She’s superstitious, but level-headed. Kind, almost maternal, but bubbly and fun. She’s bold and fascinated by the strange goings-on around her. If ALW had wanted to give her the blonde, blue-eyed good looks of a Barbie Doll, he would have done better to name her after Jammes, who has a peaches and cream complexion in the novel. He could have even named her after Sorelli, though this move would have been more difficult, since Sorelli was a principal dancer and not the daughter of one of Erik’s employees. No. He chose to name her after Meg Giry and elevate her to secondary character status. The least he could have done was make her look the part. It would not have been the first time a principal cast member in an ALW was a PoC. Ben Vereen played Judas in the Broadway debut of JCS. So, why so scared to cast a black woman (or, really, any WoC) as Meg Giry? Come on, ALW. Would it have been so hard? It could have started the conversation about race in period dramas or the conversation about racism in the fine arts (especially ballet) twenty or thirty years earlier. And even if it didn’t, PotO would still be the beautiful leviathan it is today.

Of course, I know that in a post-LND world, a lot of people have bigger complaints about Meg Giry’s treatment in modern stagings. I agree with them - the characterization of Meg Giry in LND is painful to watch. It’s inconsistent with what we know of her in the original show; it certainly is divorced from the novel in all ways. The flaws with Meg’s character in LND have nothing to do with the fact that she’s made into a sex worker (although that choice is questionable from a narrative standpoint, not a moral one. What does it add to Meg’s arc that she sold herself to help buy Phantasma? The implication that we’re meant to see her as lesser than Christine for it is the real moral quandary, But I digress). Rather, the flaws with Meg’s character stem from her being inconsistent with all previous and recognizable versions of her character and with the anti-feminist need to pit two women, who were previously the best of friends, against each other over a man… Not even a man who treats one or both of them right… like… it pits two best friends against each other over an abusive narcissist. It does no characters any favors, least of all poor Meg, who is made out to be needy, jealous, emotionally unstable… It does a poor job getting from Point A to Point B.

This bastardization of Meg’s character would probably seem like a great bullet to dodge, insofar as representation goes. I think it would be absolutely disgusting to cast a black woman as LND Meg, due to all the negative stereotyping that would end up clouding even the best performance. However, LND was not the commercial or critical success ALW hoped it would be. Not even close. It underwent a lot of rewritings, still was not highly successful, and (by and large) disappoints both fans of the original story and newcomers to the PotO story. It is nowhere near the cultural phenomenon that PotO is. And so, then, again I ask - why have we not seen a WoC in the role of Meg? It’s only very recently that we’ve seen PoC in the roles of Christine, the Phantom, and Raoul. Meg is still depicted as white. I’m hoping that the trend of diversifying Broadway is more than a trend, but instead a cultural shift in how Broadway appeals to the masses. I hope to see a WoC play Meg (and Madame Giry, who I’ve neglected to mention until now, woops) within my lifetime.

Honestly, I think that I only really started thinking about this critically two years ago when my Salt Squad and I got talking about representation in the Phandom, particularly in the RPC. I was rereading Leroux at the time and meditating on Kay (as one does) in my spare time and it occurred to me that if I wanted to see some change in the Phandom, I had to be a part of the side I wanted to see prevail. I had to be some of the change I wanted to see in the Phandom. So I took up Meg as a muse. I’m starting to see more and more racially diverse Megs in the Phandom and that thrills me. I want to @fillescharmxnt because her Meg is what I aspired for mine to be in so many ways. There are plenty of other fanartists, fic writers, and aesthetic makers who are doing such great things with recontextualizing Meg Giry for the 21st century.

I do want to include this disclaimer, though: just because someone is roleplaying, writing, drawing, headcanoning Meg as white, doesn’t mean that their ideas are without merit. There are plenty of very talented artists, writers, and bloggers who depict Meg as white. My goal is not to shame them - a lot of them do great work, both from a technical and emotional standpoint - but rather to invite them to the conversation about Meg Giry, race, and representation. I urge these fans to challenge their notions about Meg Giry and to be open to accepting ideas that are different from theirs. Even those of us who HC Meg as a WoC enjoy and support content with blonde Meg (like… can we talk about the Brazilian actress with the freckles?!). All I ask is that fans of white Meg Giry enjoy and support content with black/Asian/Jewish/Romani/Latina/Middle Eastern/Other Meg Giry in return.

Fans can question the media they consume. Fans can challenge the media they consume. But at the end of the day, it is the media that we create and ask to be created that make the most difference. The only way media gets created is if there is a demand for. Be willing to demand a more inclusive, more historically accurate depiction of Meg Giry and you will be rewarded with a creative explosion of fan created content.

#asks #meme response #((this is not what you asked for is it?))#tw: racism #fictioncoxnt

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chocopalustre · 6 years

Text

are U interested in reading my final paper for a course on Queer Literature and Theory? do u like lesbians? are u curious about lesbian sexuality in pornography? do u need a good sassy laugh?

look no further than right under this cut!!!

Content Warning: This essay contains sensitive content discussing sexually explicit material.

Tribadism: Lesbian Bump and Grinding. (Definition courtesy of Urban Dictionary)

“Hey, Kylee, how do lesbians have sex?” I pause for a moment, trying desperately not to roll my eyes. With a deadpan expression, I hold up two victory signs with my fingers and mash them together. “We scissor each other, of course.” I let a few seconds pass, taking in their look of bewilderment, before I crack a sardonic smile. I was joking of course. Every good lesbian knows that scissoring isn’t actually a real thing. Scissoring is what straight men think they see women doing in lesbian porn, opening their legs and criss-crossing them together in a cutting motion. Fake lesbians scissor. Sophisticated lesbians trib.

Of course, it took me a while to learn this. Like many other queer youth, I struggled to squeeze out any information in regard to lesbian sex out of the public sex education system. What choice did I have but to stumble across some poorly-made erotic content on the Internet? (Many choices, in fact, but I didn’t know that then.) Much of my knowledge about how two women have sex together without a man initially came from this exploration, shortsighted and misrepresented as it was. But now that I am a Real Adult Lesbian, I am interested in Real Adult Lesbian Sex. As such, I want to move beyond the question of what lesbian sex is and instead examine how pornographic sex represents the lesbian community. What better way to explore this idea than to return to my original Sapphic-inclined childhood investigation… porn on the Internet!

I was a naïve child, so of course I didn’t know that the lesbian porn I was viewing has a specific name: Ersatz porn. Ersatz porn is the term used to describe “girl-on-girl” pornography made by the straight man, for the straight man. And it is this porn that inflames the hearts of indignant female feminists everywhere, including my own. So imagine my surprise upon discovering that sometimes these fake lezzys fueled a fire in my loins as well. How was I supposed to reconcile this?

The 3 P’s: Penetration, Pleasure, and Pussy Shots

Everything I hate about lesbian porn made for men’s consumption comes to the tip of my tongue instantly- pun not intended. First, there are the fingernails. Every performer has an obscenely long, pointed, hot pink $40 set of acrylics. If you buy into the longstanding and dodgy myth of nail length indicating whether a woman is gay, then the 1-inch kitty claws on the screen in front of you are a dead giveaway: She isn’t a lesbian, and the girl she’s fucking isn’t enjoying it. I myself have a love-hate relationship with the nail clipper, often keeping my nails longer (a reasonable length, of course), but I can definitively say that the prospect of somebody scratching up my vulva with those talons, pretending it’s pleasurable… Needless to say, not my kind of thing. Unfortunately, these pricey manicures are least of our worries.

Ersatz porn has only one audience in mind: Men. And every straight man knows that women, lesbian or not, just want a dick. This isn’t about her pleasure, it’s about his. And by involving aggressive sucking and fucking with a strap-on, the male viewer can identify with the woman wearing it on screen. Her purpose is to simply act as a placeholder for a male body. For some odd reason, men still seem to think that women easily get off on penetration alone, so it’s not surprising that there is little clitoral stimulation in girl-on-girl porn. These poor guys don’t know any better. But us lesbians know the truth: The clit is the shit. Dildos and vibes all have their place in the bedroom for dykes, but the end-goal of it all is arousal and orgasm, not a penis. Unfortunately, the sole attention on penetration means that the best these pseudo-lesbians can get are pseudo-orgasms (not that many viewers would be able to tell the difference).

I was happy to discover that I am not the only one curious about other queer women’s take on “lesbian” porn; in an exploratory experiment performed by Todd Morrison and Dani Tallack, a small group of lesbian and bisexual women were interviewed after viewing scenes from both Ersatz porn and lesbian-created lesbian porn. They discussed what they saw the films representing in terms of lesbian identity. Viewers noted that the women having sex in the girl-on-girl scenes didn’t appear to enjoy it at all; there was no genuine emotion nor any interest in pleasing one another. One viewer remarked, “Yeah, this didn’t look very physical … She could have been reading the paper while the girl was banging her.” When one girl fingers or goes down on her partner, she rarely looks up to make eye contact. It’s all very detached, and the pained expressions on their faces accompanied by high pitched whines seem less like the result of a good fucking and more of a “God when the hell is this gonna be over” response.

The male gaze is all about those close-up shots of the genitalia, which is sort of confusing to me because as much as they want to see it, they don’t seem to worship our labia as much as their local dyke does. The objectification and exploitation of the female body is at work, a key instrument in the misogynistic toolbox designed specifically for mainstream heteronormative pornographic orgasms. Let’s pull out the hammer then, shall we? Our good friend penetration makes yet another appearance, often combining hardcore fucking with restraint practices—whether it’s steel handcuffs or a rough pair of hands clenched tightly around wrists. In and out, in and out, we see the pink dildo pounding into a pussy, and rarely does the camera stray from this scene to her face, essentially detaching female pleasure from the action of penetration. She is reduced to an object in which the only use is a hole to be fucked. The penetrator then forces the body below her to slobber and choke all over the dildo, hissing out abusive and demeaning remarks: “Your dirty little fucking pussy likes to take this big fucking cock, doesn’t it? Dirty little slut.”

Pornhub gratuitously offers up tons of content like this. Just look at “TSA Agents Engage in Lesbian BDSM! (Part 2).” (Don’t worry, I took the liberty of analyzing the scene to pull out its most ridiculous parts so you don’t have to.) Here we have a busty blonde TSA agent watching two naked women sixty-nine on a table with a bright light shining down on them… very reminiscent of a visit to the doctor’s office—minus the sex.[1] The blonde doesn’t engage in any physical contact while the other two are going at it and instead looks on with a forced smile of pleasure. Then we have the painfully slow zoom in on the JUICY WET PUSSY. There was also a gun involved, just in case you forgot this was porn made for men; nothing screams heterosexual masculinity like pointing an armed weapon at a woman’s head while you fuck her. And finally, how could we forget the infamous double dildo scene? It’s very important to show that every hole is filled by a phallus. If we zoom our male gaze out a bit to take in the whole body, I fear what we see is not much better than these money shots.

Being Butch and BDSM

Let me just lay this on the table now: I am a hyper-feminine queer woman. I am all too familiar with comments like, “But you’re so pretty?!” or “I never would have guessed…” when a straight person finds out that, yes, I am in fact queer as fuck. My love for glitter, killer eyeliner, and an overall hatred of pants puts me at the unwanted mercy of male attention. Even among the queer community, I feel the need to loudly announce my presence; I’m here, I’m queer, and you can shove your misguided compliments on my “straight” appearance right up your ass. One would think then that I enjoy the performers in mainstream porn, that I would laud them for actively combating femme invisibility. The problem is that a) because of this “representation” men think feminine-appearing lesbians are really just college chicks experimenting and having threesomes before running into the muscular arms of someone with a real penis and b) it simply doesn’t turn me on. Where are the butch ladies? Perhaps my biggest beef with Ersatz porn is that I feel it actually does a disservice to representing lesbians, even my fellow femmes. Representation is only good if it is appropriately and accurately diverse, and Ersatz porn is decidedly not. Sure, the hair color may change and maybe one of them has double Ds while the other has Cs, but other than that… Femmes aren’t flat and they’re certainly not fat.

Returning to the interviews, the participants noted that the bodies in Ersatz porn reflected society’s expectation for straight women, even if they were supposed to be lesbians. Even more unsettling, the performers look less like women and more like girls. Straight men seem to think that college freshmen have the time, energy, and money to maintain a perfectly hairless physique. To loosely quote the response of a previous professor of mine to a male partner who wanted her pubic hair shaved: “Why? Do you like to fuck little girls?” Proportionally, their appearances are reminiscent of the old school Barbie doll: slim waist, young face, and huge boobs. Women, lesbian or otherwise, come in all different shapes and sizes, but it seems that these straight male viewers have yet to catch on to that. Difficult enough is it to accept that two women can get sexual satisfaction without a man, they’ll be damned if she’s fat or has short cropped hair! The performers’ bodies appear to be the biggest difference between mainstream lesbian porn and porn produced and made specifically for queer women.

There is one specific butch body that comes to mind within the mainstream sphere, however: Lily Cade. Now, I have my own gripes with Cosmopolitan magazine. Their advice essentially boils down to “here’s why you’re single and sad, so let us show you how to be sexy in order to catch a man and fulfill your meaning in life!” Any articles that mention identities outside the normative are riddled with misinformation and operate only as a way to clickbait intersectional feminists into reading them. Needless to say, my initial reaction to their article titled “What It’s Really Like to Be a Lesbian Porn Star” was dismissive at best. However, upon looking at the photo of the petite, jean jacket-wearing woman with choppy ginger hair and heavily lined eyes underneath the title, I knew I recognized her and couldn’t resist giving the article a read. (Like I said, fucking clickbait.) Cosmo names Lily Cade the exception to the rule that most girl-on-girl porn stars are actually straight. Before her career really kicked off, Cade described herself as a butchy lesbian with a little bit of baby fat. She struggled to convince directors to give her a chance because her appearance didn’t fit what mainstream porn was selling. Cade then lost 40 pounds, got a tan, and revamped her sexy lingerie in order to break through the business. So how does a real dyke feel producing Ersatz porn?

Cade admits that sparking chemistry on set with the straight women she performs with is one of the most difficult parts of her job. Interestingly enough, Cade criticizes girl-on-girl porn because it’s not meant for female viewers, that the overall the performance is “fake on every level.” Although she weaseled her way into the business by adjusting her look, she doesn’t necessarily think that she performs the way that everybody else in Ersatz porn does. Cade strives for authenticity; she makes an effort to connect with the women so that they can perform a real sex scene. Cade comments, “You don’t have to make love to me, you don’t have to even touch me. Just let me fuck you, and I’ll get you off, and you’ll like it.” But how is it that a lesbian performer can engage in the content she criticizes? Indeed, this is a point of contention for many people involved in queer porn. Lily Cade has come to acquire the label of “sell-out” among the queer underbelly of the mainstream. The changes Cade made that brought her success in the mainstream industry only resulted in derision in the realm of queer pornography. Already a sort of niche business, Indie queer pornographers could have used another butch body to represent and pleasure us lesbians out here. To turn your back on your community and play pretend for the straight team? Unthinkable. Worse yet is the fact that, of all venues, her outlet for public exposure was Cosmo magazine.

But who are we to say that Cade isn’t having authentic sex? After all, she is still a lesbian. And her attitude toward her work certainly seems gay to me; she maintains a high level of enthusiasm and a devotion to performing sex with her female colleagues. For the lesbians that do stumble across her work within the mainstream sphere, Cade is putting out content that is more accessible and relatable for them. Her apparent conformity does not mean she is suddenly no longer a queer woman. In response to criticisms, Cade says that she’s “chosen to create a look that is accessible to a more mainstream audience, but is undeniably a lesbian look… I don’t see myself as a sell-out; I see myself as subversive.” And to all of the straight male viewers of her work, Lily Cade has a message: “I’m showing them how a real dyke does it.”

When the butches do come out to play, they star disproportionately in the BDSM genre, especially in mainstream porn. So even though I want to see the bodies I’m attracted to, I’m caught in a catch-22 situation: Yes, the butches exist, but often only in circumstances involving extreme violence and submission. That isn’t to say that BDSM isn’t arousing. In fact, BDSM relies on domination, bondage, sadism, and masochism as a turn-on for viewers. What I’ve found, though, is that in mainstream porn BDSM is performed in a male heterosexual context rather than a lesbian context. Another Pornhub gem, “Strapon Women Who Fuck Better Than Men – 5,” exemplifies this concept. The video is a thirty-minute compilation of strap-on fucking with butch women doing most of the labor. The content and title combined appear to give us lesbians the recognition we deserve. However, it opens with a quote: “By far, one of the most popular fantasies women have is being the man for one night, literally. That’s right, I’m referring to a strap on penis.” In wearing this sex toy, a lesbian is suddenly transformed into a heterosexual man; it’s clear that the butch body still acts less as a queer woman and more as the placeholder for the male viewer.

Abuse and objectification of the female body also is heightened to suit the male gaze. Hair is pulled violently back as she extends one of her legs straight in the air so that our view of the dick is not obscured. It does not matter that these inorganic, acrobatic positions are not pleasurable nor conducive to sex; penetration and the role of the penis is the primary focus. There is little clitoral stimulation involved, the scenes are rough and more demanding than pleasurable, and the strap-on is glorified as the Sub is made to perform a blowjob for the Dom.[2] Finally, one of my personal favorite scenes—a long-haired femme being pounded against a weight rack, her tennis shoes still on. How did she get her clothes off without taking those bulky sneakers off? It doesn’t matter, these women are making gains at the gym, appealing to the Frat boy’s favorite pasttime. In the end, it seems you have two options to choose from when it comes to Ersatz porn: Watch a threesome between Sorority girls experimenting with lesbian sex for the first time through a hazing ritual, or watch a (still pretty feminine) butch relentlessly subjugate a dubiously consenting hyper-feminine girl and not even pretend to enjoy it.

Advertising and Authentic Arousal

Obviously, then, queer porn is much better at depicting authentic lesbian relationships than Ersatz porn… Or is it? My knee-jerk response would be to let out a loud, defiant YES! OF COURSE IT IS! It’s far easier to find what you are into when perusing the realm of queer porn—even if getting access to it is much more difficult in the first place. Unlike mainstream lesbian porn, which you can find in abundance uploaded on sites like Pornhub or xHamster, queer-produced porn often does not find its way out beyond access to those who pay for it. But when you do find it, you’ve hit the Sapphic jackpot. Performers vary from the familiar femmes to chubby dykes, from chapsticks to stone butches and trans women. The scenes are often more believable because of the bodies in them; they are diverse and range in size, echoing many a lady-lover’s desire to appreciate all parts of all women. The women in Morrison’s study noted that the performers were often much older, “not like they had pubic hair a week ago,” and that “they had marks on their bodies, like stretch marks and stuff. They weren’t perfect.” Not only do the bodies reflect a diverse array of lesbians in terms of style and age, they are also more realistic because of their “imperfections.” These are the same flaws that are quickly airbrushed and implanted away in the mainstream sphere. However, nail length still seemed to be an issue, and what the women lacked in a perfect figure they made up for with the heavy use of makeup, accessories, and perfect hairdos. It seems that no matter who it’s for, pornography still has a certain aesthetic of ideal beauty to maintain.[3]

Bodies aside, what about content? When a butch straps on a dildo and fucks her hot femme girlfriend, are the underlying themes really so different from Ersatz porn? Even in queer porn, it appears that the strict gender binary has its place. Unfortunately, no matter how exclusive the lesbian club may be, societal expectations of gender roles and expression still exert themselves full force on our bodies. Yet somehow, as queer women, we proclaim that this is still what real lesbian sex is. Whether or not it resembles heterosexual sex is not the point or purpose; the fact of the matter is that these are queer bodies performing queer sex. Theoretically, it does not rely on misogyny the way that porn for heterosexual men does. The performers engage in a subversive and empowering scene where they reclaim their right to their bodies and their sex lives. They are performing with their fellow lesbians in mind, not acting for a male gaze.

When examining how porn produced by lesbian women is advertised for consumers, one thing becomes very clear: We want real sex. In order to draw in their demographic, many queer pornography sites capitalize on the idea of authenticity. A few catchphrases used by CyberDyke.net include: “We depict the sex the way people really have it.” “real fantasies / real orgasms / real lust / real butches / real bodies / real sex.” Well fuck, the site has me sold! I would take CyberDyke’s “porn aimed at real women and lesbians” over Lesbian Cheerleader Squad 2 any day. How do I know that those lesbians are fake? Well, I don’t, really, but I’ve never seen porn aimed at straight men claim that the women are Real Lesbians. Mainstream pornography doesn’t need to affirm the sexualities of their performers because men don’t really care about authentic representation. A title with “TWO HOT WOMEN” in it is just enough and the Kleenex are out. Women wouldn’t be watching their porn, anyways, so what does it matter? Perhaps queer porn is not showing us reality, but rather performing “a fantasy of authenticity.” Pornography is essentially a visual fantasy, and we lesbians dream about a world in which our identities are valid, every woman loves us back, and men aren’t around to fuck it up and exploit our desires. It is that illusion of authenticity which gives queer lesbian porn its allure.

It may come as a surprise to learn that not all lesbians necessarily agree that queer porn is the better porn. Authenticity, it seems, has to do with much more than just a body. In a different set of interviews conducted by Valerie Webber, non-heterosexual women who performed lesbian porn made for men were asked to discuss how their performance related to their sexual orientation. It turns out that many did not believe that they were performing “fake” sex, rather simply adjusting their actions to capture and create what the audience needed. Performing with a woman who was also lesbian-identified did not immediately make the scene the performer’s real sex life, and most agreed that the line between their work and authentic sex was not so clearly defined.

Despite the many quarrels we have with Ersatz porn, lesbian-created lesbian pornography cannot escape our critical eye either. Emotional intimacy makes sex appear authentic; when both women are clearly into each other (not giving weird sultry looks in the male viewer’s camera’s direction), I’m much more likely to be aroused. But intimacy quickly strays into mushy romance in lesbian-created porn. The stereotype that women are more sensual and emotive and thus lesbian relationships would maximize on romantic, loving sexual activity is a key point of criticism in queer porn. I, for one, resent the assumption that any sex I have will be vanilla by default. Some viewers admitted to preferring scenes from Ersatz porn; one remarked that the lesbian-created scene “was completely… boring in every way. The music was boring, the women were boring, the scene was boring, the colors were boring, the film was boring, the camera stayed stationary for Christ’s sake. It was boring.”[4] Another admitted, “Um, you guys are going to think I’m a bad lesbian, but I really like the penetration. It’s hot.” Bad Lesbian Club rejoice! Her guilt echoed my own anxiety at my arousal by certain girl-on-girl porn scenes. But clearly not every dyke is into the same thing, and even content produced by queer creators can fall prey to harmful stereotypes.

Not all lesbian porn is quite so corny, of course. Vanilla can be a pleasant no doubt, but as one viewer noted, “Let’s get it really raunchy sometime.” When some of us come out of the closet, we bring along some of our more hardcore desires—whips, sturdy ropes, ball gags, and leather collars. BDSM has long played a role in the lesbian community, and its prominence in lesbian-created pornography adds to the supposed authenticity of the performance. However, as Julie Levin Russo points out in her article, “’The Real Thing’: Reframing Queer Pornography for Virtual Spaces,” it is the “mobilization of recognizable markers of dyke subculture (e.g. butch bodies, tattoos and piercings, fetish attire)” that feed into stereotypes about what being a lesbian is really like. Needless to say, not all queer women participate in or identify with these things. Although butch bodies help clue viewers into what porn is made for them, their representation is still almost exclusively present in the realm of BDSM. Themes of dominance are associated with masculinity, thus reflected in butch-heavy scenes of punishment and orgasm denial. After assessing my pleasure at certain penetration scenes in girl-on-girl porn, now I must question why I can so easily accept porn as made for my fellow lesbians through the mere presence of a butch body. It may seem more authentic to me, but for other queer women, perhaps the message they’re receiving is that certain characteristics—both in your relationship and your physical appearance—must be present in order to be real lesbian.

Reaching the Climax

Some would say that the question of authenticity is irrelevant because the purpose of pornography is to reflect viewers’ fantasies. How necessary is it to be real lesbians having sex? Why does it matter if most people can’t do the splits while they’re being eaten out? But without giving genuine thought to the performers and scenes you show, you run the risk of spreading misinformation about lesbians. Our existence cannot be denied, and failing to consider the impact of homogeneity in porn does a disservice to our very real livelihoods. The ruling is not decisive among women, queer or otherwise, as to which type of pornography is better or worse. My idea of what good porn is does not always match the reality of many queer women in the world; everybody has a different dynamic within their relationship, after all. Ultimately, though, there are definitely some things I could live without. (I’m glaring back at you, male gaze.)

[1] Doctor settings are actually quite a common scene in mainstream porn; straight men seem to have this idea that going to the gynecologist is hot. Because having my OBGYN shove a speculum up my vaginal canal is totally a turn-on, right?

[2] I’m still not sure how either party would get any personal pleasure out of choking on a silicone cock… but then again, butches are really just women who want to be men, remember?

[3] It’s not like we sweat during sex or accidentally choke on our girlfriend’s perfectly curled hair or anything.

[4] A 70-minute sex film set to classical music with zero dialogue wouldn’t be particular titillating for me, either.

Works Cited

Morrison, Todd G. and Dani Tallack. “Lesbian and Bisexual Women’s Interpretations of Lesbian and Ersatz Lesbian Pornography.” Sexuality & Culture, vol. 9, no. 2, Spring2005, pp. 3-30.

Russo, Julie Levin. “‘The Real Thing’: Reframing Queer Pornography for Virtual Spaces.” In Jacobs, Katrien & Janssen, Marije & Pasquinelli, Matteo. “C’Lick Me: A Netporn Studies Reader.” Jan. 2007.

“Strapon Women Who Fuck Better Than Men – 5.” Pornhub, 2016, https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph577e65b319a02.

“TSA Agents Engage in Lesbian BDSM! (Part 2).” Pornhub, October 2017, https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59ccece3078ca.

Webber, Valerie. “Shades of Gay: Performance of Girl-On-Girl Pornography and Mobile Authenticities.” Sexualities, vol. 16, no. 1/2, Jan. 2013, pp. 217-235.

Wischhover, Cheryl. “What It’s Really Like to Be a Lesbian Porn Star.” Cosmopolitan. 2 Mar. 2016.

#personal #i know like maybe 2 people will read this but thats ok #im really happy w how it turned out and if ur interested it is here for u to read!

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Why having more toys actually makes your kid bored

Last year, Roxana Condor was attempting fruitless to find out where a brand-new Ikea play cooking area for her three-year-old—-- total with a set of mini pots and pans and pint-sized felt veggies—-- would suit her semi-detached Toronto home when she understood her house had actually been entirely taken in with toys .

Collections of Lego, Thomas the Train, Duplo and Mega Bloks had actually broadened, in simply over a years of being a parent, into a rowdy, plastic mash-up that now appeared beyond containment . Every space of your house was studded with plastic toys and craft products. Her kids, ages 13, 6 and 3, owned superheroes, Pokémon cards, Beyblades, markers that sparkled, markers that smelled and much, a lot more.

Condor blamed herself for much of the excess. She matured in post-communist Romania and had really couple of toys as a kid.

““ We actually had absolutely nothing,” ” she remembers of her youth. ““ I viewed TELEVISION and desired the Barbies and the van and all the toys, devices and shoes.” ” So, when she had her own kids, she was figured out to provide as much as she could.

There’’ s a wide range of things that result in households being overwhelmed with kids’ ’ things. New toys are simple to come by in our society—-- birthday celebrations, vacations and even excellent behaviour typically call for presents from the toy shop. There is likewise what Condor calls ““ the dollar shop” “trap. ” “ You travel to the dollar shop; you purchase a lot of crap they have fun with for 10 minutes,” ” she states. Generally, we have great intents.

““ We typically purchase something to reveal somebody we like them,” ” states Nikki Martyn, program head of early youth research studies at the University of Guelph-Humber in Toronto. ““ It seems like the more you have, the more you’’ re enjoyed. This is a social problem.” ” There ’ s likewise the reality that moms and dads are hectic, while at the very same time, kids are investing more time inside and less hours outside keeping themselves inhabited with area good friends. “ For me, it had to do with attempting to fill the kids ’ time with things when I discovered myself “too tired, too overloaded or too overstretched’ to invest quality time with them, ” states Condor.

The desire for our kids to have more than we did maturing( and for grandparents to supply their grandchildren with whatever their hearts desire )likewise fuels a nonstop cycle of brand-new toys. “ I required them to have among whatever, ” Condor includes. “ Being able to supply this buffet of things was “actually providing me satisfaction. ”

Having “a home chock complete of toys is not doing our kids-- or us-- any favours.An increasing number of professionals and moms and dads have actually come to think that we ’d all be much better off with an entire lot less.

I'm purchasing my kids utilized toys for Christmas this year-- therefore must you Amelie Lacroix understood her kids were overwhelmed by the amount of toys in her home after attempting-- and stopping working-- to lure her—kids, ages 4 and 2, to play separately so she and her spouse might get work done around their Oakville home. “ We had actually taken the technique of simply purchasing more—and more toys, intending to discover something they would get more thinking about, ” she states. “ They had lots of toys in “3 various playrooms in your house. They weren ’ t actually playing with any of them. ”

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While her partner thought the kids required more of the’“ right ” toys, Lacroix”had an inkling that a purge may end up being more efficient. Employing her kids as assistants, Lacroix spread their huge mass of toys out in one space and got to work separating out the ones that were no longer age-appropriate, together with others her kids were prepared to part methods with. “ We wound up clearing out over half of what they had, ” she states. Now, with bins that weren ’ t overruning , the kids were much better able to pick a toy and concentrate on it. Lacroix states they play regularly with 2 or 3 products and frequently engage with them individually, which suggests Mom and Dad can lastly get that household chores done. Based upon this success, Lacroix states, the household is thinking about paring down their toy collection even further.

There ’ s proof to support this less-is-more technique. In a current research study of 36 young children, ages 18 to 30 months, at the University of Toledo in Ohio, scientists welcomed kids into a playroom laboratory on 2 celebrations. On the very first check out, the space was geared up with simply 4 toys. On the 2nd go to, the space had 16 products. While the young children physically touched more toys throughout their see to the 2nd, fuller playroom, it was the very first playroom that much better engaged them. There, they played two times as long with each product-- and had fun with products in more methods.

It ends up, the leaner offering of toys needed them to be more exploratory and imaginative and had more cognitive-development advantage, according to the research study, which was released in the journal Infant Behaviour and Development.

“ Developmentally, young kids can ’ t choose in between 20 and even 10 various things, ” states Martyn. That suggests when your kid strolls into an overstuffed playroom, they can be disabled by alternatives( it ’ s no various than that glazed-over feeling a few of us get at the grocery” shop when challenged with growing racks of milk options).

“ With toys, we believe that more is much better. Truly, it is simply frustrating, ” Martyn states. “ A quality toy or experience is much better than simply more. ”

. More toys, more issues.

It ’ s not simply kids who suffer when there are a lot of toys-- it ’ s a lot “of work for moms and dads to handle all that things.”“I would hang around arranging and restructuring the toys, attempting to determine the very best method to get the kids to play. The—minute you clean them up, they take them all out once again, ” Condor states. “ And then I was continuously shrieking at them to tidy up their toys . ”

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The tension that features having bins and racks filled with toys-- and the concern of where to keep them, where to contribute them and how to discover the time to do that-- is another factor to minimize your individual stock. “ If you begin to get that sense of heaviness as a birthday or Christmas is coming, it is very important to honour that, ” states Ashley Miller, a kid and teen psychiatrist at the BC Children ’ s Hospital in Vancouver. She recommends utilizing your own requirement to declutter as a mentor chance for your kids. “ What do you most desire them to discover? Do you desire them to find out about kindness and being’able to offer things? Small amounts? Environmentalism? There ’ s great deals of various choices. “”

At Condor ’ s home, decluttering implied learning about the effect of consumerism on the environment. She started teaching her kids about the limitations of revealing and recyclingthem videos of plastic trash that winds up in the ocean .

. Picking the ideal toys.

So does all of this mean you( and everybody else in your kid ’ s life) should stop purchasing your kid toys completely? Not always. You must be more thoughtful about it. Miller recommends selecting basic “ open-ended ” toys-- dolls, trains or little cars and trucks-- that need kids to be innovative and to utilize their creativity.

“ When you get a toy that does whatever for you, you rapidly lose interest since there is no space for you in” that—play, ” she states. Having access to toys that need kids to make choices is necessary for their advancement and structure strength, Miller states.

“ It ’ s really healthy for kids to use their own and to be in charge of that world. ”

Lacroix states her kids tend to play more and longer with products that provide themselves to fictional play. “If you provide little cars and trucks, they ’ ll have fun with them all around your home. If you provide them a track, they rapidly get tired of seeing the cars and truck go around and around in circles, ” she states.

Don ’ t be tricked by your kid “’ s preliminary enjoyment at anything that needs to be pried out of glossy plastic product packaging-- and put on ’ t hesitate to state no to the most recent fad and bypass the frustrating toys at eye level in practically any shop nowadays. “Being able to state no to a kid is an extremely crucial ability and it assists the kid to learn more about limitations, ” Miller states.

. How to cut down.

To help in reducing the increase of toys, Miller recommends asking gift-givers to think about experiences -- journeys to kids ’ s theatre and even a low-cost park trip-- as birthday and vacation presents.

Then, to simplify the toys you have, include your kids in the procedure of contributing unused toys-- which is what Lacroix did when she took a stand versus her 3 playrooms. “ That wound up being a great activity in and of itself, ” she states. “ The kids were rather thrilled to understand we were offering the toys to other kids. ”

Not all kids will react—as gladly. Miller states it ’ s regular for kids to resent providing products “away. That isn ’ t a factor to provide up on the job. “ “ The procedure of teaching a kid about contributing and offering can be difficult for both of you.’Acting kindly produces kindness, ” she states.

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For the toys you choose to keep, it ’ s an excellent concept to have them arranged in a manner that makes them available to your kid. In the Lacroix home,” the toys that stayed were confined into one space with a brand-new company system’. The huge bins of blended toys were changed with little identified containers: one for automobiles, one for dolls and so on. Lacroix likewise made certain both of her kids might reach all of the toys.

If you have storage area, however wear ’ t desire your kid to be overwhelmed by whatever being readily available simultaneously, Miller advises keeping some toys and turning them in and out of play.

After the Ikea cooking area discovery, Condor began contributing toys that her kids no longer had fun with to neighborhood areas and’day cares where several kids might enjoy them( buh-bye, Mega Bloks, Thomas, train tracks and more ). She ’ s likewise letting her three-year-old have fun with her 2 older siblings ’ toys instead of purchasing her brand-new things. And she started to use a brand-new mindfulness to acquire choices.

“ Before I purchase something, I examine the toy in regards to its durability-- the length of time do I believe it will last? Just how much are they going to utilize it? ”

When it concerns birthday celebrations, welcomes now consist of a courteous demand not to acquire brand-new toys and visitors are offered the alternative of contributing to a charity siteand adding to a“group present for the kid.

With less things crowding your home, everybody is better, consisting of Condor, who is encouraged their lives are”really more significant with less toys. Understanding that has actually brought a brand-new lustre to her own youth memories of playing outdoors , making and climbing up trees up video games in the snow.

Read more:. 14 wood toys your kids will in fact have fun with . 7 homemade infant toys you can construct of regular home things .

The post Why having more toys really makes your kid tired appeared initially on Today' s Parent .

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#christmas #family #games #holidays #longread #raisingkids #toys

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