#theres something wrong with me at the core. im so exhausted.

[sopebubbles]

Just a slight input of mine, as in my two cents.

I totally absolutely understand yoongi's and tae's pov about them feeling left out when hobi goes in heat and Jin gets all possessive, but towards the end we also see how yoongi also gets a little possessive about Y/N when hobi mentions having a room for Y/N ( as in yoongi wanting y/n for himself) so in that perspective shouldn't yoongi be a little more understanding of Jin? No? Just me?? ( This is what I feel) Jin could have had his own dreams and desires no?? While trying to do his best (from his perspective) for everyone in the pack...

and somewhere my heart goes out to Jin that maybe he wants to have a child with HIS HUSBAND with whom he's been married for so long and loves so much. And Jin isn't being selfish just that hobi is his husband first and then the omega of the pack??? Jin could have been trying his best under the pressure and with what all knowledge he has?? No??

My heart goes out to jin for trying to take care of everything and everyone without being able to express himself. Maybe I am wrong but this is just something I felt. And I do agree that buying an entire house without consulting with other members is wrong, anyone would be upset.

( also being a leader isn't easy, if the members do not say how is he going to understand, and even if everyone says something and share their input but in the end their points do not get selected that too leaves a sour taste(I hope you understand what I mean) and the leader, I don't know if they do, go about talking with everyone individually? That could be exhausting no?😔)

And I am so proud of Y/N for asking for help. good job MC. I love you for this, you fighter!!

Im glad you noticed that parallel with Yoongi's possessiveness! There will definitely come a time when Yoongi has to confront those possessive feelings when she's actually around AND others want to be around her. I think there's a bit of a difference in the fact that they're in a years long relationship and Jin is trying dictate how other people can be with Hoseok. Yoongi should try to understand Jin's feelings, no doubt, but it doesn't make Jin's actions to alienate everyone acceptable. It will be interesting to compare them as alphas down the line

And yeah, Hobi is his husband but if he wanted to be exclusive like that maybe he shouldnt have brought 3 other alphas into his pack. The most troubling thing about his behavior for them is that its a change. In his own heart Jin never did use to care about whose baby hobi would have, he would've just loved any baby of Hobi's as his own. But his mom put this idea in his head and the fact that he wouldn't talk about it just shows that deep down he knows its wrong.

I think all your thoughts make sense in a way bc those are very natural ways to feel, i just dont think those are the core issues, but im glad you're in Jin's corner! Pack alpha is a tough job and theres still an important issue that Yoongi raised which is that Jin sees pack alpha as a set of privileges (i get to decide where we live) instead of responsibilities (i must provide us with a safe place to live). I strongly believe that if Jin hadn't been first he wouldn't be pack alpha. Its strictly bc of his position as Hobi's husband that he has the role BUT his upbringing/family also makes him feel entitled to it (his mother would be extremely displeased with him if he wasn't pack alpha). The stress is honestly a bit too much for him and makes him close in on himself, not discussing with others and ultimately making bad decisions. At the end of the day, he should be at least discussing important decisions with his packmates even if he ultimately thinks that his choice is the right one. In my opinion thats the more effective form of leadership.

I know everyone wants her to rush back but im honestly very happy with yn for doing the best she can rn. Asking for help was huge even though she might not have asked for all the help we think she needs.

Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

#lone wolf thoughts #lone wolf asks #thanks anon!

[seraphimsinful]

Feel like hot garbage again👍

#fuvked up severwl orders today #[unrelated] victor yelled and grabbed my shoulder as a joke and it made me jolt and i just was so fuvking dazed for like several hours bc #of it. also had to slice meat qnd it was driving me fjcking insane #called dad for a ride home bc i was already on the verge of tears #and he sounded so fucking wnnoyed. so tired of me. i literally just. dont know how to be wortthy of his care #kept thinking abt my mom too. theres something just wrong with me #theres something wrong with me at the core. im so exhausted. #idk im just so exhausted rn. i need to lay down #my vhest hurtsso bad but i dont wanna change #cause 👍 got misgendered for the first time by a customer. like they fr just assumed i was a girl #and it felt like a fucking gut punch. usually people just assume im a guy but fuck

[theminecraftbee]

i am on my knees and holding your hands in my own shaking ones and im trying to kiss ur knuckles but i cant see shit through the tears. im so happy. im so so happy im gonna be freaking out for literally months. you dont Know how happy i am theres literally no way to describe this happiness god. god. good god god god i love you i love your work. your thoughts. black box has my whole heart you don't get it im gonna cry. fuck

also i would love to know why its never getting finished if u dont mind talking abt it. which u dont cause u alluded to asking abt it in the tags but yk.

augdhsgdjdhr

i am so glad you are happy. honestly a bit worth it to post the scary unfinished thing to post for the fact that a few people are happy about it (and getting to hear a few friends ramble at me about it one last time, hahaha.)

as for why i won't finish it... the easy answer is "sometimes i just stall out on writing/doing something and often when that happens i cannot get the machine to start again". however there are also several like... concrete reasons. reasons i'm going to put under the cut with a warning of "there are a few fandom salt-y things that are happening here so if you don't want to see that, look away".

so the easiest to identify reason this won't be long? yeah it'd have to be WAY longer than black box. you saw how glacial the early pacing is, and there was still a lot i needed to get through. the length started getting daunting and like... that chilled me a bit on writing it, especially as i started getting distracted by other things.

the next reason is... hm. i don't know if i like how it plays next to the actual prison arc. something something, i played it dead straight and dark in ways that the actual prison arc did not... which is wild, given that the prison arc is one of the darkest arcs of the dsmp. but you know, somehow i did. and i knew i was doing it when i wrote it! i knew it would be way darker than the dsmp itself would actually play! but at the same time, the combination of "i am taking this really seriously" and "but the character who was actually in the prison is the villain of this fic" makes it all play... weirdly. it's weird. i have mixed emotions.

i have mixed emotions about some of my writing too that i won't get into just know "i like parts a lot i don't like parts a lot". i will say that i am still the only person who can write techno's chat even reading this now,

but also... honestly? the tommy stuff.

so i like c!tommy. i also like c!techno. i am aware black box is mostly popular with techno enjoyers. i know tommy is not currently well-liked by a lot of techno enjoyers. i know i couldn't write some of techno and tommy's relationship here - ESPECIALLY the argument they have when tommy leaves, in which both of them are meant to be wrong to some extent - without having a few people yell at me for it. and like... maybe no one would have yelled at me. lord knows that my fears of people yelling at me for daring to put character death in stuffed bird have not come to pass. but at the same time... the way the fandom acts around tommy and techno is exhausting.

and the only way to rectify that would have been to gut something kinda core to what i was writing, which is to say, that everyone's messy, fucked-up relationships as a result of what had happened were core and tommy and techno's was one of them. and that their relationship is messy. and neither of them are wrong, they're just messy, a thing that i don't trust people to like, get. so that... soured me on writing it, a little bit.

(god i wish c!techno wasn't the single biggest lynchpin of controversy on the dsmp. god i wish that my funny little blorbo was someone i could talk about in this fandom without it becoming a lightningrod of. whatever the hell techno discourse has become at this point. alas. ...you may be getting a sense for why i'm not super interested in the dsmp anymore, alongside the fact that i flat out do not believe them when they say they're going to do things anymore.)

uh, other than that, some of the other ones include "i disagree with what wilbur did with ghostbur and was going to just ignore that and am still just going to ignore that into the future, but that was important", "sbi in general is sure a thing", "i have some mixed emotions about the fact that parts of the ending of this universe arguably end up better than the dsmp does given the catalyst for it", and "canon after i started writing suggests ranboo should be somewhere but hell if i know where".

anyway that's all probably STILL secondary to "this thing would probably need at least another 30k words and that's probably what ultimately stalled me out in the end, glacial pacing and the needed length". but as you can see, there are also... other things.

ultimately i did end up taking your anon suggestion, i think sharing what i had was a good idea and i'm glad people liked it (and seem to like what i was planning on doing with it), even if i can't really bring myself to finish writing it anymore! so that's good.

(finally, disclaimer: please don't use this to bounce off and ask me any dsmp discourse-y questions, because i just won't answer them on this blog. lol. i just figured i could give this answer and explain a bit of where my dsmp stuff went.)

#answered #technogender

[ajdrawshq]

Riku for the character thing! (And Junpei? Maybe? I think that'd be interesting °•°)

!!!!!!!!!!! putting this under a cut bc i Cannot shut up abt these two in particular bless u

Riku

favorite thing about them: gayass (affectionate) the way that hes so devoted to his best friends that it can easily turn self destructive (or otherwise generally destructive) with one wrong turn is just So. Yes. also im stealing his gender

least favorite thing about them: i wouldnt say i Dislike this bc thematically it fucks but its funny that kh1 is basically just a chain of the worlds' worst decisions bc this poor dumbass doesnt know how to deal w his feelings for his besties. he went from playful teasing on the island to getting straight up possessed how the fuck do u do things this badly

brOTP: Riku n Terra, or any of the wayfinders tbh, and the novel trio (Riku Axel Naminé) OH AND REPLIKU OFC. let Riku be the big brother figure he always wanted to be and give him more friends im begging

favorite line: "at least the waves sound the same..." always hurts me,, he spent all that time trying to escape the islands, then avoided going back there to face everyone. and now when they have no way to get back, no way of knowing if theyll ever even leave this place, hes exhausted and in pain and just.. happy to have that one last reminder of home. ok i need tp go cry now ,

OTP: Sorikai!!! and any 2 of those 3 together, Soriku is obvious but Rikai is SO sweet i love them dearly. Rikuroku is also up there because its funny

nOTP: him with any adults??? and im not a fan of Namiku tbh

random headcanon: hes nearsighted n needs glasses but is too stubborn to get his eyes checked. it only got worse when he wore that blindfold for a whole year and his friends lovingly make fun of him for it (especially Repliku, who didnt inherit his shitty eyesight lmao). also hes demi

unpopular opinion: i do think theres something big/special going on with him but im not convinced its as.. deep? as a lot of people are theorizing but it IS kh so what do i know and i really dont think disney or squenix have the balls to make him canonly/explicitely gay

songs i associate with them: unsaid by flor, Leo by Eve, A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers, and like. anything by Jaymes Young bc thats peak sad yearning music right there (ESPECIALLY MOONDUST. stripped version also. god.)

favorite picture of them: oh this one is easy. soft lil dude..

Junpei

favorite thing about them: he is literally just some guy. like the most just some guy character ever. he did NOT ask for any of this he just happened to be dragged into it for reasons he almost couldnt comprehend but were also completely unavoidable. he is ridiculously observant of his environment and other people. he absorbs information like a sponge, which is impressive considering hes a college student fighting for his life and id legit just shut down. he is rational, but tends to act based on emotion when it concerns someone else and at his core is a helpful n caring guy. his ability to joke in a life or death situation is also something between impressive, endearing and worrying. his ability to Very Easily manipulate people is even more worrying. if he werent generally a nice dude id be afraid of him. hes a walking bi disaster and i love that for him. i want to be his friend

least favorite thing about them: horny. also didnt he become an alcoholic or something in the next game is he ok

favorite line: lowkey tempted to list every quote from his wiki bc holy fuck this dude is funny but this one killed me

(although the "people liquid" bit that i do Not remember encountering is up there. and his bi awakening by the elevator)

brOTP: his interactions w like.. idk basically everyone in 999 is so so good but if i had to choose id go w him n Aoi, Snake, n Clover

OTP: i.. dont know what to put here other than Junepei?? i dont rly even ship him with people i just think he needs therapy right the fuck now. or that Carlos guy he flirts with in one of the other games (i think??)

nOTP: idek just the obvious stuff i guess??

random headcanon: that dude is Not neurotypical. i dont have any evidence or anything i just think hes neat and i relate too much to his whole "idk what im doing in life im just kinda here" thing. and the fact that he carries damn near every puzzle he encounters and the 999 puzzles make my brain go brrrrr. shooting him with my adhd beam

unpopular opinion: uhhh.. what counts as a popular opinion???? what is the general consensus on this guy. will say that im afraid to touch the other ze games bc of whatevers going on w him but thats the only thing i got here

song i associate with them: ive been thinking very hard abt this one for thr past few days and i actually cant find anything that clicks here which is. surprising. if u squint i guess some of the songs i put for Riku could fit tbh..

favorite picture of them: i wanted to put that one shot of him during the true end looking at the sudoku puzzle but then i found this concept art of him n .. it appeals to me

#thank u for reminding me how much i love my Riku playlist its so good honestly.. the vibe is lethal amounts of yearning #a sadness runs through him reminds me of kh1 onward.. unsaid is kh2.. and leo is post-kh3 #to an extent u really Can fit those with Junpei huh. hm #one day i plan on going back thru all of 999 and analyzing all of Junpei's thoughts n stuff more.. hes so Interesting idk what it is #thank u for letting me yell abt these two :3 #ask #mortellanarts #kh #999

[creacherkeeper]

im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #aelwyn abernant #WHO LET ME WRITE ALL THIS #does this even. fucking. make sense. who knows. #THE BRAINROT THE BRAINROT THE BRAINROT

[smoldinopup]

hi dü :D. im sorry if im a bit negative but lately, i dont know what has come over me i feel like im missing jjong more than ever. my heart hurts so much and i just miss him so much idk what to do. i dont know why either i thought im getting better but it has been so hard these couple of days :( theres also been rumors of a shinee comeback because a music producer kept giving hints and im hyped but also very sad. im so lost rn i need some advice. anything really. im sorry if im troubling you

Oh my sweetsummer child,Though Ifeel immensely honored and flattered that you come to me with your concerns,I’m always afraid that I’m not of much help when it comes to ‘tips’ on how todeal with anything. Emotions are something so personal and the process of learninghow to cope with them as well. Unfortunately,I have lost a lot of beloved ones throughout my life but despite going throughthis ordeal way too many times I still haven’t found a cure for the pain that itentails. I may sound like a broken record at this point but there will alwaysbe days when one feels better and then on others they might feel like they’vegone back to zero.Sadness isnot a bad thing in its core and I would rather encourage to embrace it thantrying to fight it until one is exhausted. However, it is important that onedoesn’t get consumed by negative emotions but that’s very difficult to balanceout.Sometimesit helps to just go outside and take a stroll through the woods, the park, thebeach etc. Taking deep breaths while walking around won’t heal any wounds butit might help to feel more at ease for a while, to take one’s mind off the pain.Listening to the twittering of birds or the rustling of leaves, feeling thewarm sunlight caress one’s skin, observing one’s surroundings silently, meetinga little puppy on the way maybe, it’s the small things, really.What’s themost important but probably also the hardest to do is to not isolate yourself. Keeptalking; to your family, friends, or pets, people you’ve met online. If youfeel like you’re getting worse again then share your feelings with someone(which you basically did with that ask! So good job!). This might sound weirdbut I talk to Jonghyun every night before going to bed since 128 days andaccording to different comments made on here I’m not the only one doing that. Itmight not be something that helps everyone but it’s worth a try, right? I guessthat missing him will just be part of our daily lives now and it depends on theperson how much time will pass until they will start missing him with a smileon their face rather than with tears in their eyes.I said thisalready before and so many others did as well but there is no right or wrongway to grieve and there is also no time limit for it. We are only humans andour emotions are very complex and easily fluctuate; in one moment we want toscream in joy and in the next one we might fall in the depth of despair. That’sjust how most of us work. So I can totally understand why you have mixedfeelings about a possible comeback and that’s completely fine. There is nothingwrong with looking forward to it but feeling a pinch of sadness as well.For Onew,Key, Minho and Taemin SHINee is what they grew up with, that’s what they did forthe better part of their lives so far, this group played a very big part inletting them grow into the individuals we know and love today. Seeing them onlyphysically present as four on stage will always feel bittersweet to some degreebut if they gain strength from performing and seeing the Shawol ocean in frontof them you bet I will always stand there swaying my lightsticks around, givingthem all my support and love because that’s what they deserve. However, if possible future group activities might become too overwhelming for you, taking a step back from everything is always a good choice especially when it comes to mental health. When you feel like it’s getting too much it might help to take a break from the fandom/the internet and concentrate on something else instead. So don’t force yourself to feel a certain way about these ‘teasers’.I know Ididn’t say anything of value or something helpful but I hope you know that youare not alone in this and that you can always message me if you need someone totalk. Please take good care of yourself, my dear! ♡

#dü speaks #also i'm never sure whether i should answer asks publically or privately #so if you are uncomfortable with sharing any asks in public please tell me in your ask if you want a private answer to it #jjonghyunwoo

[kpurereactions]

Roses

Smut Week: Day 1 | Kim Seokjin

Pairing: Reader x Seokjin

W/C: 1828

Stressed was your middle name, and everyone knew it. Between your school, your internship and your boyfriend you had next to zero time to yourself. Not that being with your boyfriend was stressful, he actually helped relax you like you never thought anyone could, it was just once he left everything that you haven't gotten done crashed back onto you.

It was late, you had worked all day and spent almost all night in the library. You got home around midnight to an empty apartment, you knew Jin was spending the night at the dorms since you knew you were gong to be late. You sent him a quick text saying you were walking into your building and smiled.

Alright love, relax and know i love you. the boys and i are finishing a movie, would you like me to come over?

if your settled then don't worry about it. my day should be lighter tomorrow so we can do something tomorrow.

alright babe, i love you goodnight.

night

You opened your door and sighed, your senses perking when you were greeted with the scent of lavender. You put your things down by the door and kicked your shoes off before walking fully into the apartment. You smiled again and brought your hand to your mouth. On the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room sat a large bouquet of flowers in an elaborate glass vase. You walked up to it and took the card in your fingers.

                          for all that you do, just know i love you,

                                                     jin.

You smiled and brought your nose to the buds, pulling your phone out of your pocket and clicking on his name right before brining the phone to your ear.

'Hey whats wrong are you okay?' He said quietly.

'no I'm fine I just wanted to say thank you for the flowers. You're so sweet.' You said stroking the petals.

'Of course babe, it was no problem.' He smiled.

You said goodnight again and looked at the flowers one more time before you opened the fridge. You smiled again, waiting for you with a light frost was a bottle and a glass with a folded paper that said 'Drink me' and next to it your favorite chocolate that said 'eat me.'

You laughed to yourself at how cheesy Jin was, but you had to admit; the kid knew his shit. You pulled the two things out of the fridge and started to make your way to the couch, but something caught your eye.

'No fucking way.' You said with a heavy laugh.

Individual rose petals were scattered haphazardly leading to your bedroom. You shook your head and followed them, preparing to see Jin standing there with a bow on his lower half. But as you entered your room no one was there. Candles were lit though explaining the lavender you smelt when you first walked in. You looked around to see your bathroom door open and smiled, walking in. The lights were off but the room had a comfortable glow from the array of candles that had been set over the counter and on the edge of the tub. You laughed again and tucked the bottle under your arm to pick up the piece of paper that was dropped over the side of the tub.

get in and relax. theres one more surprise.

You looked around before placing the bottle on the counter followed by the chocolates and began to strip. He had to be in the apartment, you just didnt know where. The bath was already drawn and the water was perfect temperature. You tied your hair up and sunk down letting the water cover your body entirely. You sighed and looked around. He pulled your favorite candles. You smiled again and sat up. He even got your favorite bath bomb.

'Jin, I swear where are you hiding?' You called out picking up the bomb and bringing it under the water.

'You were supposed to drink the wine and eat the chocolates.' He said coming into the bathroom with a sweet smile. You let the bomb go and turned to your stomach so you could rest your arms on the sides of the tub.

'Why did you do all of this?' You asked, smiling as he handed you the glass.

'Why not?' He laughed kneeling down beside you, his hands resting on your arms as he lent in to kiss you.

'Come in with me.' You said grabbing his arm and pulling him into the now mint green milky water.

'This is for you to relax though.' he smiled.

'You help me relax.' You tugged his arm again.

He held up his hands and nodded before standing up and undressing. He sunk into the tub across from you and started to stroke your ankles. You sighed and laid back again, loving the pressure that was being applied. You let your eyes close for a minute and when they opened again Jin was looking at you so sweetly. You adjusted your body till you were resting your head on his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around you.

'Thank you so much for all of this. I don't know what I did to deserve you.' You said tilting your head up to look at him. His eyes met yours before he slipped down further in the tub  making it easier for him to look at you.

'Id do anything for you. This is nothing.'

You lifted your head and smiled at him before leaning up and kissing him gently, smiling as his arms tightened around you. You hooked your arms around his neck so his head wasn't pressing to hard against the tub wall and deepened the kiss, your tongues dancing in sync with one another. He sat up more, pulling you with him till you were straddling his lap. As you kissed Jin, you tried to ignore his growing stiffness between your legs by playing with the ends of his hair, your wet hands pushing the hair off of his face. It wasn't until he pulled you closer, dragging your core against himself did things start to change.

You started to roll your hips, smiling as he groaned into the kiss and took this opportunity to quicken the kiss. His hands followed your hips back and fourth as he grew harder and harder, You moaned back in response, loving the way he felt below the water. His hands moved from holding your hips to holding your behind and his long fingers squeezed tightly.

'Hold on, hold on.' He said breaking the kiss. 'Im supposed to be taking care of you tonight.'

You rolled your eyes and kissed him again, circulating your hips once again. You moved in a way that made it easy for you to catch the tip and move his member upward, making it easier for you to tease yourself with the tip before sinking down low on it. You rolled your hips the best you could in the tub but with you bracing yourself against his thighs the next time he pulled away to ask you to let him take care of you you nodded.

You let him lay your back, one of your legs now draping over the side of the tub. His arms folded over your head and he lent down to kiss you again, his member slowly finding your entrance. He took no time in increasing his pace this time around, his hips hitting the water and echoing through out the bathroom. You broke the long single kiss he had planted on you when he started to hit deeper in you. Your faces were still close but your mouth opened and your fingers dug into his back as his hips moved faster.

His pumping plus the feeling of the fizzing water around you made your nerves run high. The bathroom had grown hot and though you were trying to get clean things were only getting dirtier. He pulled out and helped you flip over, your arms now folding over the edge of the tub. You gasped as he rose your bare end and it came out of the warm water and made you gasp again when he entered you harder this time. His hands gripped to the sides next to your elbows as he started to pump in you harder and harder. It only took a minute for you to become a moaning mess under him. Your hands clenched to the sides and the feeling of his lips on your back made you shiver. His lips found their way to the spot right behind your ear that made you crazy. Instantly you body reacted and your arms softened. Because of the pounding you found yourself hand pressed flat agaist the rug in front of the tub, Jins arms now wrapped tightly around your waist to hold you closer than before. The vibrations from his voice rang through out your body and as you pushed yourself up into his chest his hand found your clit and began to work it, wanting to make sure you felt as much pleasure as you possibly could. You moaned loudly, between his pushing and the feeling of his hands all over you it made it hard for you to keep yourself upright and stable.

You were a moaning mess, the way his hips curled up into you to over power all of your nerves. You lifted one arm to hold onto Jins, his hand moving faster and his hips bucking harder as he knew you were about to unravel around him. He groaned against you and your breath hitched as he was some how able to reach even further inside you.

You let three last moans out before you felt the building in your stomach hit its peak. You called his name out and your hand gripped tighter to his arm. He let out one last groan against your back before he filled you, moaning your name in return. He pulled you back into the tub and let you cuddle up to his chest, kissing the back of your hand. You laid there for a moment, Jin letting his fingers trace over your skin. You had almost fallen asleep, but with a light squeeze Jin sat up with you. He grabbed a towel for himself before wrapping one around you and kissing you deeply.

You laid closed that night, still naked from your bath. His hands ran up and down your shoulder and his lips kept pressing firmly onto your forehead making you groan slightly again. Although you were absolutely exhausted you couldn't help yourself. You tilted your head back and wrapped your arm across Jins chest to pull him closer and kissed him again. You couldn't help his when you rolled on top of him and started rolling your hips as he chuckled.

'Already? Are you sure your not tired?' He said wrapping his arms around your waist.

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