#there’s so much im working on at a time so have patience with me

[sirbird]

Woken up

#my art #miguel o hara fanart #Drider miguel o hara #drider #atsv miguel #I gotta stop staying up so late #besides this I’m working on drawing vig again #given his current description he sounds terrifying and I need to draw this fool #I’m also still working on the continuation of the couch scene :) it’s gonna be a three parter #there’s so much im working on at a time so have patience with me #anyways love y’all hope you have a good night/morning/evening #I’ll post in a little as always

[needylittlegirl]

brain is spinning

#not in a good or bad way i just feel like im in a washing machine on a gentle cycle #just thinking about everything #mostly like #whoever i end up with is going to have to have So much patience #like #i dont know how Anything works #absolutely none of it #ive never had like healthy completely consensual sex #ive never been in a healthy relationship ive barely ever had Good friends #so like #erase everything thats happened to me like just dont count it #and i havent ever done anything #not with a boy in a romantic kinda way not with friends in a friends kinda way #and yeah that makes me sad sometimes and terrifies me most of the time #but hopefully i’ll find people that will take everything so slow with me and not mind #i just think its gonna be a long journey that im not super excited for cause i know its gonna be scary #but i also cant wait to like do everything for My first time #idk i think im just being a sap right now #and i cant wait to be able to do things with someone #like right now im just sitting in an empty parking lot with my door open watching the sunset and thinking about life #and someday i’ll be able to do that with someone!! we can talk about life for hours! #and someday someone will join me in my stupid little dance parties or karaoke sessions #and itll be nice #tbd #i need to romanticize every moment of my life or else i’ll want to die

[steakout-05]

ok as an artist i personally find traditional painting to be. really really annoying. like. i do not have the patience for it and i just find it to be really frustrating to set up and actually do and i end up not liking the results. i find that there's little room for mistakes and trying to fix them usually ends up with me making 50 other ones, paints can be so inconsistent and having to rely on availability and certain brands to continue making the paint is really inconvenient, not to mention expensive. spending a bunch of time trying to mix the right shade of paint, only for it to go down a completely different shade of colour and not being able to do anything about it is so frustrating as someone who likes consistency and having things just, y'know, not change colour as soon as it dries. plus, they all use different chemicals and can go off really easily or change textures and i am just not ok with having all my materials having an expiration date like food. lead and graphite pencils just don't do that and they can last for years, they're more reliable. every paint is drastically different and trying to find the right one is not only time consuming but, again, expensive, and i don't even see the point in experimenting when most of my materials end up not even getting used if i don't like using them. plus, i'm just.... really impatient. waiting for paint to dry sucks and is why i much prefer digital or just drawing something because i don't need to wait for anything, it just works. and then when i do want to take my time and work slowly for a better result, it dries too fast. it's kinda hellish trying to balance that time, especially considering how inconsistent paints are.

i like to use guidelines when doing art and i find painting straight onto a canvas to be really tricky because there's a lack of direction for me to actually paint. i'm at a complete loss at what to do when i pick up a brush because i can't map it out first without risking screwing up the paint. there's just so many things to keep track of and so much wet paint to avoid and i just do not have the mind for it. putting colours on a canvas and praying that it works just isn't it for me and requires a discipline that i just don't wanna involve myself with. painting is also just like... really exhausting and kinda painful. i got some pretty bad back issues and my arms tire and get sore easily and quickly when i'm standing in front of a canvas. it's a really physical activity for me and i just don't find something to be very fun to do at all when it's physically hurting me. i know drawing on a canvas has this issue too, which is why i prefer sketchbooks. sitting down and drawing something that doesn't break my entire spine every time i do it is much more preferrable than questioning if i should go to the doctor every time i make a brushstroke, lol

that's not to say that there's nothing i like about painting though! i can paint simple little things, and i like doing that. i like mixing colours with a palette knife and i find it fun and even a little relaxing. i painted some cute little chibi cardboard cutouts of the mario brothers one time and i found that to be really fun and i think i'd like to do that again! but apart from that, i just do not have the patience for it. i love the look of traditional paintings and i find many to be really beautiful, but i could never get into actually doing it myself because i hate the process. i'm content with just sketching and doing digital stuff because that's more fun to me and less stressful of a process to do. it's fun, it allows for more mistakes, it's easier to build up layers of shading and lines, not to mention using building up a figure with guidelines is super helpful with visualising what i want it to look like, and i can just erase something if i don't want it there or want to change something. it just makes sense to me.

tl;dr i dont like painting because it's inconsistent, expensive, time-consuming, directionless, frustrating and it makes my back hurt really bad. i'll just stick to drawing stuff :)

#vent #artist vent #i hate painting #i hate it so much and i just cannot understand it nor do i have the patience for it #i seriously had a crack at it and i just find it to be so annoying #there's so much preparation and i'd much prefer just whipping out a pencil and eraser and scribbling something down #to be fair though i do enjoy other art mediums that require more preparation #i find crafts to be fun and i really like working with air dry clay #using clay is just creating a little creature and i really quite like it a lot #making little cardboard guys is fun if not a bit tricky sometimes because my hands are so big compared to the tiny bits of carboard im usin #but it's very fun and cardboard is easy to get #clay is not so easy to get but you can get a lot of it and make many things with it #the only things i really dont like about clay is fingerprints and the fear of having your art literally explode when you fire it up #but other than that? fun! #painting? not fun! #paint is so messy and i don't like having goopy stuff getting stuck on me and all over my fingers all the time funnily enough #if i bump into something (which is very likely for me because i am clumsy) then oouuguh there goes all the paint its everywhere now #oh my god you know what i hate the most. i hate oil paints. i hate them so much. #the smell gives me bad headaches and makes me feel faint and it's hard to clean and dispose of and it's just more chemicals to deal with #it's just acrylic but more annoying #i don't think it's edible either which is. frustrating #it's also harder to clean out if you get stained with it (which is very likely because paint is messy) #i just dislike oil materials in general. they smell weird and they do not wash off. i still have oil pastel stains on one of my favourite- #-shirts despite the fact that it has been washed multiple times. and it took several days and so much fucking scrubbing to get- #-it out of my nails and off my hands completely. actual hellscape. #i know graphite and lead pencils would never betray me like this #pencils are so reliable and i love them <3 #pencils and drawing equipment in general are just more reliable and don't expire or develop inconsistent textures (except erasers for some- #-reason) and they don't! hurt! my! back! #like i'm over here needing to do the riker maneuver to sit down after i paint my back hurts so bad

[iced-souls]

Before i forgor—

The arrival of 200 followers is upon me [i think like 7 away??], and so since im probably gonna do a thank you thing when we do get there

I figured i would ask thou lot on your opinion and expertise on what i should do.

Last time i just did a smol little drawing.

So im gonna make a poll below, i suppose i would suggest reading the description even further below first though.

Smol thing is if you dont want to have to interact/ask/reblog, but would still find it neat for a lil celebration art :)

So if you wanna do the 2nd option, the way i would probably do that would be i would make a post for you to reblog with a picture of your character. And if you dont have your own oc/character or wouldn’t like your character to be drawn then you can feel free to reblog with a character of your choosing (and the characters og creator). (:D)So overall if you aren’t gonna reblog or interact with the post dont choose that one—

If the 3rd, then ill probably find a couple, and you can ask for either my oc’s or any other characters with an outfit. So The usual outfit meme business—

4th option is just you can ask either myself or any of my characters any question you’d like :]

THOINKS FOR YOUR OPINIONS AND THANK YOU FOR THE FOLLOWS!!!!!

#im giving it a week because 1 my rise in followers goes up very slowly or in random bursts so i dont know/think it’ll be 200 in a day or 2– #2 if i do get to 200 before that time I’ll probably just pick an option and do the math— #anyways #thank you very much you wonderful people!!! #I sincerely appreciate you being here for it gives me 90% of my motivation to do art!!! #and i end up so happy that i do #so thaoink you #and thank you for your patience for i know my procastination has put a big halt on my comic and oc work— #if thats what your here for at least— #but either way #thoinks #have a good day #random stuff—

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.

#5am rambles #anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps. #you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown? #that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes? #that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old? #im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed. #you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out? #I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt. #i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years. #i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best. #I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out #first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay #cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything. #any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic' #so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden. #i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door. #sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems. #that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too. #ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day. #therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope #i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed. #emotions are so hard to figure out.

[princessofpatras]

hey I just wanted to give you guys a heads up that though I said in a previous post I would try to have chapter 15 ready by this sunday (march 10) that’s definitely not going to happen (I’m so sorry once again).

I’m pretty confident I can have it ready to post by Saint Paddy’s day though!! (that’s march 17 for the heathens). I’ve got the luck of the Irish on my side guys trust me, I feel it in my bones 💪🍀🇮🇪

#I feel like I’ve been really dragging my feet on this chapter im sorry #I was going through some burn out for a bit and now I’m back to writing but I’m making some big edits #and I just know two more days isn’t enough time to get this chapter to a place where I’ll be happy with it #it’s auguste giving me trouble again. no one is surprised. that man istg. work with me here please im begging #I may have to cut his pov from this chapter entirely #I like some of what I’ve written for him but this is perhaps not the time for it yet #anyway thank you guys so much for your patience #I wish I could write faster because there’s nothing I love more than sharing a new chapter with y’all #but alas for my snail pace #lykmc updates

[charrfie]

I need to make more bad art. Terribly. Considering the exhaustion I've been dealing with these past few weeks, I've concerned myself so much with making sure the miniscule amounts of time I do have to draw are spent drawing something good, something presentable. Be it presentable to you all here or simply just friends and family. I haven't allowed myself to post any of this bc I feel it's unfair to myself; whenever I am creating out of obligation and production rather than joy I feel my work becomes very soulless. I hope to make some truly bad and unpresentable art soon that I will finally allow myself to share. I'm going to try very hard!

#thank you all for your patience regardless #and support as well! a lot of people have shown support for my older works lately and it brings me so much joy #thank you all. im happy you like my art #this time ive been takint off is important for my relationship with my art and i hope to find my drive again #laika originals #late night thought dump

[stillcominback]

✨

#happy monday my friends! #another work-week begins *cries* but i just wanted to pop my head in and say hello and i hope you all have a great one! #for the 2309484934324829th time: thank you all so much for your understanding / patience while i'm kinda 'off' tumblr for the time being #( probably until we move / get more settled hopefully by mid-ish october??? ) #just know that i miss you and love you all lots my friends! #and pls feel free to 'bug me' ( you never actually bug me! ) on discord or in my IMs here ANY time! #❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #let's get through this we can do it! #00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )

[idiot-arih]

hello! i’m sorry that i was gone for so long. it’s literally almost been a year since i even touched this site. every day i saw notifications from here, but couldn’t work up the will to really open tumblr again or even reach out to the people that supported me the most. i’m sorry for continually promising to return just to disappear for an even longer period of time. my motivation and mental health has finally recovered enough for me to finally return. i hope you’ve all been well and i wish the best for all of you. i’m slowly starting to draw again and will hopefully be able to whip up some things that i’ve been planning on for over a year now. thank you for your patience and understanding. this time i mean it.

#i’m very sorry everyone #undertale #it’s been a trying year #i really missed tumblr #i’ve literally had all the classic posts on my mind on repeat for the past few months #i’ve been going over the things from fellow creators i had saved in discord or on my devices constantly bc of how much i missed this place #thank you for all your support #your patience and kindness will finally pay off #i swear and i mean it wholeheartedly this time #i’m also working on pieces i promised other creators so long ago #you all mean the world to me and im so happy to be back #i’ll return to fanart soon enough and i have so much in mind for this year #i love you all so genuinely #thank you to everyone #especially my dearests on discord who’ve really given me the motivation to continue #huge shoutout to hyper my sunshine for all the months that they’ve supported me through #literally there for me in my darkest hours #also giant shoutout to gi and echo on discord who really brighten my day #also to the coolest boodle for constantly reminding me that there are people who still care through using my server #im back and better than ever #enough with the sappy stuff though! #im here to hopefully bring joy to your lives for all the happiness you brought to mine #thank you all so much

[nctdream]

i hope sm stays on brand and does NOT follow through with their Q3/4/5/6/1278392&:&:$/« /$, schedule 😁

#mark and haechan….. tysm for your hard work and patience pls take care:( #i have so much to say im spreading them out through all social media platforms and dms lmaoo sorry if youve receive part of my ramblings #I’ve slept on it but something about sungchan and shotaros leave still feels off to me?! #i haven’t been actively keeping up as much and it still feels so sudden 😭 #i feel so conflicted bc they definitely deserve better but also they’ve been included in all the pop up merch up til recently #and suddenly they decided to drop the news on a random Wednesday?! i hope their new groups treats them nicer but LOL #saw on twt someone say it seems like the members are finding out the same time as us lol yikes #also my friend was like ‘idk what’s happening but it’s l*cas’ fault’ and tbh mood shfjsj #there’s also the whole wayv situation didn’t xj say something about not renewing his contract hahahah and the solos/enlistments………. #I’m really excited for tolo but at what cost 😭 #hate that the answer to all the why’s is simply bc $$$$ 😂🤣👹😅🥲

[neonsbian]

i dont wanna go thro this week can i just skip to saturday pls

#im having so much anxiety abt this diwali event ik im gonna be miserable the entire 2 hrs im there #and then having to deal w holiday season at work.... #luckily i dont work at like a real cafe but its still not fun luv </3 #my motivation for surviving this week was going to the club but i dont even have that anymore 😭 #i also need to remind my boss abt working full time #apparently her boss is like creating a new job for me specifically and im like cool...when is it gonna happen? #dont rlly wanna work full time but at the same time i need to move out my dad is testing my patience so bad these days #vinnie talks

[deathtodickens]

This animation class is kicking my ass but I made a dancing llama and that is all that matters.

#early retirement things #in pursuit of arting better #only fifty more years until i have enough patience to animate bering and wells #lol jk that is not happening by my hand #the point here was to create an animated symbol instead of an animated symbol on top of a looping background and #the background loop is where my brain fumbles because i'm sure there is some easier way to do this but i am mostly figuring it out on my ow #because the instructor is very much the “i won't insult your intelligence by assuming you don't know everything i'm talking about already” #ype and i am like “no please explain it to me like i am five” #also their subtitles cover the area of Animate where all the frames are so i cannot even see what they're doing half the time #plus working 60 hours a week because im trying to be rich lol #did i mention my kitchen is still under construction #its fine and im sure the universe has a plan but right now i am juggling more than i am comfortable juggling #it's not even a bad or stressful thing it's really just an i don't want to be doing all of this at once thing #the end

[bitegore]

everyone in my household owes my friends and my ex girlfriend so fucking much.

#red rambles #'when i yelled at you over the spices earlier i actually meant thanks for making lunch' 'alright well im glad you got there eventually' 'yo #have a very abrasive manner of speaking' thank you! i am restraining myself from calling you a fucking asshole to your face. Thank me for #my fucking patience. #yeah man i spent an hour cooking for you and when you got off work you immediately lit into me for doing it wrong and then spent like a ful #fifteen minutes yelling at me over the counters being dirty (which YOU dirtied. for the record) because i had the audacity #to ask that next time i not have to hurt myself trying to get spices out of the disaster you yourself made of the spice rack #by moving ONE THING. #and then you want to wait until the next time i resurface from avoiding the sound of YOUR tv that you play super loud to remind me that #you're an ungrateful pos who doesn't give half a fuck how much work anyone else does for you? #thank me for not screaming in your face. #like it's insult on top of injury at this point. I don't give a shit. You don't have to fucking thank me i do not care. Don't fucking get #MAD AT ME for doing what YOU ASKED. DUMB ASSHOLE. #it's okay i have a handle on my fucking temper. but THEN. don't get on my case for being a little bit less gracious than i could've been #'you know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar' yes well i would like to shoo the flies out of my FUCKING HOME. have you considered #that. #oh well. i'll be out of this fucking place in like a month. #if you told me when i was 15 that i'd be begging for school to start again just so i could get out of the house i'd have asked you why we #hadn't just walked in front of a moving car yet. sometimes i still wonder. #pdl

[lupismaris]

Lmao okay okay white cishet social manager has now been added to the DEI Pride planning meetings which frankly is important to ensure shit is done right I’m attending as the multi-tool queer of the division and comms administrator/quartermaster who’s main role is holding the comms team accountable (my supervisors/head of comms words not mine) so my goal of making sure our Pride and LGBTQIA+ history month campaigns aren’t reductive capitalist rainbow washed nonsense is still a go

#the head of marketing is a cis gay man who i respect highly and like but he's very much into rainbow washing and capitalist pride #as someone who came out much later in life and has been cut off from his community (i can only assume he does not make an effort to connect) #which is a point of frustration with me i am one of four (?) openly lgbtqia+ members of our divisions not counting students #and its two cis gay men #a she/they lesbian mom who i love but barely work with #and me the grey ace bisexual transmasc nonbinary person aka the multi-tool queer #the two cisgay men don't really register my experiences or queerness as legitimate or on par with their own i'm rarely included in convo #one does at times but only to complain about cishet nonsense or to discuss new shows to watch but our tastes don't line up a ton #the head of marketing does not regard me as an equal in the queer community at all and while i do not deny his input for pride whatsoever #i worry that his social manager will use him being gay as an excuse to be lazy and reductive and only show the cisgay rainbow washed pov #hence me stepping in last year/being brought in by our old social manager (i miss you cody) and comms team last year #because they knew this was a risk and they are all cishet #i feel like this is potentially going to be the breaking point in my polite friendship with her #like we're friendly when its not about work but theres always been something off and i don't like her work/approach #and i just feel like something is going to go wrong her need to interrupt this morning with I MADE A HEADER just felt wrong idk #head of comms chose me for our divisions dei committee as well so i could be part of these internal conversations so again idk #maybe im just on edge because of -gestures at usa right now- and i have absolutely no patience for us fuckin up something out of laziness

[layalu]

well i could be productive. or i could just binge hours of stop motion behind the scenes footage

#almost grateful that im sick rn so i dont have to feel so bad for not doing chores instead |'D #spiraled back into it thanks to wendell & wild (which i havent watched yet bc i dont have netflix but i WILL watch it eventually) #i will never stop being obsessed with stop motion it amazes me so much #it has so much love and soul in it #and i am in awe every time how much precision and patience it requires i have so much respect for the work behind it #i will not get over it ever #lay rambles

[onepiexe]

i havent done anything manual labor in so long

#logbook #woke up to my body aching like crazy #. .i miss this feeling. idk when i'll have time bc of work but man. i should exercise. #couldnt pull some plant carts right away in my first week 😭 also yesterday i couldnt lift a box. #i was too short to put it on the shelf is what i said but i was also tired at that point in the day. augh. #i loaded up 2 ladies cars. . .also moved and lifted pots. #plastic but big stacks and some bigger sizes. #today we have a fl+werw++d delivery. wonder what all it is. probably just more perennials. #i figured the ache would go away but i miss my old coworkers so much. . . #and then i remember how long it took for me to stop aching and missing ml while at nnl. . .so yeah. just on top of new work lol #ive had several emps say i look like a kid. which. thanks guys. sorry but when i was 15 i didnt look 25. . #i feel sorry to ppl who look at old when that young tbh. also it makes me go insane bc im p sure most of the younger emps #ARE in fact. younger than me. based on conversations. but nobody believes me 😭 #tbf l+wes had a 18+ policy but this nursery is a gen family owned so they hire teens looking for work and work experience. #i dont personally see how anybody can think im -18 bc im working FULL not part time and i'm mon-fri but still. #regardless ive had a guy joke abt child labor laws bc i get in early. and some dude yesterday asked if i was doing hmwk. jesus christ guys. #ok i have to get ready for work 😭 gaia give me patience and reward me plsssssss