#there is no explanation for this more than i wanted to have fun

[eggyrocks]

bruised part thirteen -> lonley

m.list

♪ now playing: simulation swarm by big thief ♪

Everything feels like shit.

Her arm fucking hurts. Her head fucking hurts. There's this solid block of led settled in the bottom of her gut and an aching in her chest. The abundance of 'get-well-soon' flowers crowded into every inch of free space makes her eyes water and nose run.

It sucks. It all fucking sucks.

She's lying flat on her back on top of her unmade bed, one arm wrapped up tightly in a sling, the other holding her phone above her face, scrolling through her feed, eyes straining to read every single thought strangers on the Internet have about her.

It's sort of strange, in a way, to see herself dissected and discussed in long threads and discourses and forums. She's always been a quasi-public figure, her face on grainy screens and niche corners of the Internet. But her recent virality due to the brutality of her injury and sharp bluntness with the press is something new.

And that sucks too.

Her instinct is to take a screenshot and send it to Iwaizumi. This is an instinct she has to bite back.

She's torn up over him. In a way that’s worse than usual. She wants to yell at him more. She wants to make him feel bad for the way that he just abandoned her out of nowhere with no proper sort of explanation. She wants to shake him until he tells her what changed and why he can't even talk to her anymore. Why he decided she wasn’t good enough for him anymore. She wants to rage and spit and bear her teeth.

She also wants to apologize. To tell him that she doesn't want to fight with him and that if he wants things to change than things can change and it doesn't bother her (even thought the thought of it makes the corner of her eyes prick). She wants to appease and plead and do what it takes to have her friend back, in whatever capacity he can manage.

Instead, she does neither.

It’s lonely.

Her free arm falls to the side, flopping against her bed. She lets her phone slip out of her hand. It's lonely. The people behind her phone screen pick and prod at her like she's a thought experiment and not a person. Her friends coo at her pitifully and retreat when they realize they don't know how to talk to her anymore. Iwaizumi acts in ways she doesn't understand, and makes her feel like he's someone she doesn't even know.

It's lonely. She blinks up at her ceiling. The sentiment echoes. With the Olympics out of the way, it's all she can think about. With her goals disintegrated and the one true love of her life ripped from her grasp for the foreseeable future, it's all she can think about.

It's lonely.

fun facts!

im back early <3 even tho this chapter is extremely short but i just needed to get back into it okay im just dipping my toes in the pool water that is bruised before i jump in

yn's manager wanted to hold a press conference to show that she was doing well post injury and would be ready to come back asap

it backfired

kyotani has never been prouder of yn that when she told the reporter that asked abt her body to fuck off

yn has not been talking to her friends a lot, has mostly just been hiding out in her room

she's mostly just talking to bokuto and kyotani. they talk to her like normal and it makes her feel comforted

taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @publicbathroompanic @bedeater @rottingt1tz @rintarawr @deluluforcarlos55 @ahseyy @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @baskin-robinhoods @polish-cereal @iheartamora @ferntv @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @hikikaimar @needtoloveoutloud @rinheartshyunlix @makkir0ll @cr4yolaas @k8nicole @cannibalsrider @bookworm-center @causenessus @frootloopscos @ekeio @michivrse @phoenix-eclipses @hermaeusmorax @milkwithspiceyicecubes @anonnreader777 @mehreya @kmwife @rrosiitas @riousluvs @zhonglism @ryeyeyer @faesix @milesmoralesluvs @bae-ashlynn @um-no-ok @kozuskitten @ncthourss @ms-downhill @bellamsby @karasyuu

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[ee3y]

"I met an Elysian. A real orbit pixie!"

#Deponia #Deponia Goal #there is no explanation for this more than i wanted to have fun #she is very easy to draw #(there is such a high chance that its gonna be blurry I've forgotten every trick there was for posting art by now)

[blackkatdraws2]

There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]

#hoh boy i was going to make a comic to introduce these monsters but #i couldnt help myself and made an animation instead #because i just think they're so neat and cool okay #listen i cant for the life of me just infofump about my AU and OCs #because i just think that making actual content about my lore and stuff will not only raise the chances of people being interested #but also it will also raise my motivation to actually produce more content other than the same old recycled front-facing-profile drawings #i need to get creative with my stuff or I'll also loose interest and I DONT want that #in order to be happy with what i have i cant just think about it and expect to be given something new NOOOO i need to MAKE it ughh #i cant believe in order to get more content out of my own au i would need to draw it and feed myself ugh ugh ugh unbelievable (kidding) #but also #i wanna make a little music video or animation again for youtube #its been a hot while since ive uploaded anything in there at all #maybe an animation reel will do for now? #i hope so :( #because ive been working on expanding the Black Scripts AU #and honestly i dont regret it #i had a lot of fun making up scenarios and comics for Stanley and the Narrator (Black) #but yeah! #apart from this little video #you wont be getting an explanation on what these things are supposed to be #and why theyre there #actually i was originally gonna make this into a full fledge animation with sound effect/music/frame-by-frame movement/etc. #but i got lazy HAHA #tsp blank scripts au #tsp au #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

#im talking about griffith btw #guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him #and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me #but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings #like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too #and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon #so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn #he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something? #and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv #and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities #more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well #also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read #there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom #i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read #also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all) #i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note #light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into #and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead #and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol #so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well #berserk spoilers #p

[sonknuxadow]

you know i do wonder how many sonic characters actually have living parents. like knuckles is the last of his kind so obviously his parents arent around anymore. both guys who could be considered shadows dads are 100 percent confirmed dead. sonic is canonically an orphan im pretty sure. and on the other side of the coin cream is like the only character in the game cast who has a living parent we actually see onscreen. but what about everyone else i dont think theres a straight answer for any other character. other than rouge's mom being mentioned a couple times i Guess but we dont even know anything about her or if shes still alive just that she existed at some point. are these kids constantly putting themselves in danger because they dont have parents around to stop them or because their parents just dont care

#like what about tails. im guessing he didnt have any sort of family he was attached to if he left to be with sonic so quickly #but that doesnt really mean he didnt have parents at all. maybe he had parents and they just sucked i dont know #what about amy. what if she had parents this whole time we just never see them. #what about blaze. considering shes a princess id assume she was born into that role #but i dont know if her parents are ever actually mentioned #maybe theyre dead and there was no one else to take on their role and thats why blaze has so much responsibility at such a young age? #silver . he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone i cant really imagine him hvaing parents sorry #considering charmy is 6 and living with vector. an adult whos obviously not his biological dad. #i feel like something probably happened to charmys parents #espio i dont really question as much #becuase it feels very common in the sonic universe for teenagers to have more freedom than would be expected in real life #or maybe its not that common and the teenagers we're actually following are just living the most fucked up lives ever. i dotn know #but either way. espio where are your parents buddy. are they still alive. vector where are YOUR parents are they still alive #i dont know if i actually want canon explanations for all this though #because its kinda fun not knowing every detail about every characters life and being able to speculate and insert your headcanons n stuff #to be clear im talking about game canon #i know stuff like archie sonic and the sonic movies and the 90s cartoons will sometimes give characters new family members #or talk about their family situation even if the games dont say anything about that sort of thing

[mokeonn]

I'm playing bg3 again and trying out the honor mode (which as it turns out, might be a bad idea if you never beat the game in general, much less beat it in tactician mode) and I have been confronted with the fact that I absolutely have dnd race favoritism and it absolutely is contributing to my need for many many bg3 saves because I constantly think "hmmm I want to try playing as a deep gnome to see if I get special dialog with Barcus Wroot, the Iron hands, and the underdark" before picking Drow for the 4th time.

#simon says #to be fair!!! #for my honor mode run I picked half-elf drow heritage because I liked the male face shapes more #and also because picking a Lolth Sworn drow for the 4th time would be a sign of a problem #if you want to know what option number 2 is for character creation is when I think 'i should pick something other than drow' it's halfling #i love halfling characters I love halflings I love the adorably sweet dialog options you get and I love how the game is in a new camera #like it's so fun talking to small characters and having them just look at you normally but having every large character look down at you #it makes every threat 100 times more threatening #someome threatens you and you're a big ol dark urge dragonborn? yeah okay bud. I got acid breath we'll see who wins here #someone threatens you and you're a fucking tiny little wild mage halfling who just spent the last hour telling Lae'zel to be cordial? #yeah I believe that threat. they could absolutely just pick me up and run off with me right now and the most I could do is accidentally fog #if you wanna know default number 3 if I dont wanna be a drow and halfling is just no cutting it? #dragonborn #in actual dnd I have never played them because there's so many other races I default to (like tiefling which is 4 in this list) #but in bg3 they're just SO fun to make and look so cool #it goes in order of special favorite little cultists > special favorite little combat avoiders > the most fun thing to make and play #and finally tiefling. i don't have much of an explanation besides the fact that tieflings are fun and I love their plot relevance in bg3 #but yeah dragonborn is absolutely the most fun to create in character creation and very fun to play #but I gotta choose my special little guys with nothing in common #do I pick a dark elf choosing to leave the cult of lolth to be good? a dark elf who is still Lolth's special little baby girl? #a dark elf with nothing to do with the underdark since their parent left who has lived a surface life and doesn't like cultist association #or do I pick a halfling who's here to be as cordial as possible and find the funniest ways to avoid combat #I was considering having a halfling for my honor mode because I thought romancing Halsin would be fun #but I decided a drow because avoiding the goblin combats without using the tadpole is a HUGE plus #and also because I had used the best halfling hairstyle on my other halfling and I didn't want to just make the same guy twice #anyways I still need to do like every other race and class soon so I can get the fun dialog #but here's the tough truth that funnie pony artist number 32 really loves Drow and Halflings so so so much

[lifeofmarvvel]

I can't focus for the life of me and I have an in person final in just over an hour, a presentation I need to finish making by Monday at 8am to give later that day, a take home final due on Tuesday, and another final I haven't begun to study for yet gahhhhhhhh

#b talks #college #delete later #every day that passes #i just sit and think about that one time #my sister told me i was probs nd too since both my sisters and my dad are (2 adhd and 1 autistic) #and ive been thinkin a lot this semester #and im starting to conclude there's a chance i have adhd too #and this is a grand ole case of executive dysfunction #idk just. its taken a while to realize since it feels different than what my sister's adhd looks like #but that's really the only explanation that at least semi fits #ive spent time going 'im probably nd im just not sure what' #then went and looked at what the different nds were. since the few i knew didnt seem to fit #but nope. those didnt fit. turns out ive got a good chunk of the things that are the overlapping autism and adhd things #so thats fun #but yeah. further reflection seems that it's prob adhd #anyway. rant over. #please ignore this #actually no one more thing #this freakin sucks. i cant focus and i feel horrible doing anything else #besides cleaning and i dont want to clean i want to get my work done ahhhhhhhh

[insertcoolnameherethanks]

My friends complaining about Gemma having "zero emotional capacity" my man, she has emotional capacity she's just neurodivergent stfu

#Gemma is so not neurotypical and that was the first thing I clocked while watching #Also ok it was an ok movie my friend I saw it with hated it and I liked it but it isnt my favorite ya know #Like there are just random scenes that made zero sense other then that they wanted to have a shocking viral trailer #Like the dance they gave no explanation other than it was a distraction I guess the breaking out into song like why??? #The singing didn't make sense cause if thats the original programming fine but you could program singing but not a failsafe? #I would rate it 2.75 out of 5 stars like I wish it had leaned into the camp more #If it was more camp I would have loved it more cause it felt like it was taking itself too seriously for a movie where #The robot literally sings Titanium as a lullaby for no reason #Also my biggest grievance was the dog thats all im gonna say I can excuse the people but not the dog #Thats a horrible thing to say but you know what I said it #I think I would rate the movie higher cause there were parts I really liked but my entire friend group hated it so I fear my thoughts are #Being influenced by them just a bit but ya know it is what it is #It was a fun watch but a lil random and they should have made it more campy #Megan #M3gan #Gemma M3gan #Hello I'm speaking here

[fabledteeth]

kinda bummed that minthara’s new recruitment doesn’t work if you knock her out at the grove. made way more sense for my morally ambiguous pc to initially side with minthara and then have a last minute change of heart once at the grove, but still have a desire to keep minth alive. and i also just prefer that combat encounter to the ones at the goblin camp in general lol

#i suppose it makes sense that minthara wouldn’t want to side with you if you betrayed her #but it just. it was so good #i had the perfect explanation for my pc’s cause of action - and i do feel like it makes the most sense for a pc planning on recruiting- #minthara to not be a complete goody two shoes who’ll loudly and proudly side with the tiefs #also it’s just. more fun to try to keep every tief alive and have the victory speech after and such #oh well #bg3 #bg3 minthara #i might just. pretend that my pc betrays her #it just works so well. durge gets the vision of orin talking to minth and Something stirs #she wants to question minthara about the woman she saw #and it also seems like the absolute will lead to more answers about the tadpoles than the tieflings so she decides to side with them #but then her humanity kicks in when she’s standing in front of zevlor and is supposed to open the gates #so she chickens out and still joins the tiefs instead #but she still really wants answers from minthara #so she has her knocked out instead #sigh. what could have been….

[pangolen]

space monster isekai rambling in the tags

#reading the comments on space monster isekai #people dropping after the nth chapter complaining it's not explained why mc doesn't feel remorse about killing #when it... IS brought up. actually. a couple chapters later (if not in the very next one) #like sry not to defend the power fantasy isekai #but you can't complain about the author Not Explaining Something when you're not even reading long enough to get the explanation #i'm also. not sure why it needed to be explained. he's a space monster now. #the kind that eats anything that breathes. #(& tbh. part of why im keeping with this story is that he DOESNT feel bad about eating.) #('waaaugh i turned into a man eating monster and now i have to eat people :(((' <- is that what you want? #you want him to spend time being sad about something he can't control? #well i don't. i want him to eat people and go 'yay this is fun and it tastes good :)') #(and that's what i'm getting. so.) #anyway the most valid critiques i've seen are 'there's no women' and 'the villains are cartoonishly evil' #these are both true #though in later webnovel chapters it seems like the author is slowly ? including more women ? #('later chapters' as in... some 20-30 chapters in) #not that it super matters though because everyone gets eaten in the end #and there are still Not Many. however. the women have tended to have bigger roles than the men #it kinda feels like the author got complaints about this and then started adding women in #interestingly nearly every woman introduced has been The Most Powerful in whatever group she's in #i think adding in some normal-ass women would also be good but yknow baby steps #and then for the cartoon villains........ i mean yeah it's pretty goofy #you can kinda handwave it if you pretend it's because theyre technically video game characters #but you Kinda Know. the author is just really young and doesn't have a good grasp on how malintentioned ppl act irl #oh well #like someone else in the comments said: after the author gets some more stories + life experiences under their belt #they'll probably put out some pretty good stuff #and tbh!! i'm still having fun :) #pangorambles

[babisawyer]

very brave of the yellowjackets writers to be like 'hey, what if eating your friend was a bad thing?'

#🐇 #yellowjackets #I appreciate it though loved the opening scene love the aftermath of last week #I don't understand nat though like rip jackie you might be what helps us survive the winter #like maybe if you had kept some leftovers but you gobbled her up in one sitting #the whole bird thing happened but I doubt nat will make the connection there like lottie surely will #I'd also imagine now that ben can finally eat because of the birds but he might be passively suicidal like jackie was #and we know how that went. he should've quit his job and had indoor heating someone that loves him and gay sex #I still really hate the adult timeline. I love jeff and lottie's stuff is getting interesting but that's about it #I'm kinda wondering if lottie will start the cannibal rituals now after the hive vision at the end #idk I think I'm traumatized from other shows trying to shock people so I need to make theories #and I think maybe with this show the simplest explanation is the answer so I'm trying not to make theories #even though I think antler queen jackie would be so fun like it's probably just lottie #also needs to be said I dislike misty and showtunes even more now the girls should have probably had them for brunch already #and also I'm like convinced that shauna has a personality disorder like I won't say she didn't have feelings for jackie #but like she wanted to be jackie more than she wanted to be with jackie #there are many other reasons but yeah totally sure of it now #anyway I could probably say more but I have to start packing! so goodbye for now!

[stepffan]

as much as i would like to see more banquet photos and shoma hanging out with the other skaters, if that's what he needs to do to stay focused on the skating and it helps keep away the competition stress of the "i need to win and fight and compete against others" mindset and then by all means i hope he continues what he's doing now, just focusing on himself and hanging out with his team of emotional support middle-aged men

#i read a twt the other day where someone complained about shoma being anti-social or stuckup for not hanging out w/ the others #but that's a really narrow way of thinking about it. #there may be a million and one alternative explanations for why he's doing what he's doing rn. #for one - what's publicized isn't necessarily everything that happens.maybe he is being social but is just being private about it #he's no longer a young skater who's obligated to appease the press and tell them everything or do social media pr #it's a necessary evil sometimes but no longer necessary for him. #remember when so many of his ''fans'' criticized him on nowvoice? for what? saying nice things about marin or not skating his fs at the ice #it must take an enormous mental toll to have to worry about hwat ppl say and think about you on top of being an elite competitor. #2- banquets are fun but they're also not ''skating.'' maybe he just wants to focus on his skating & not worry about that stuff. #shoma seems to be an introverted person and if banquets are more stress than they are fun i don't think he ought to attend. #he has his little circle of friends and ppl he cares about and i'm sure he's being social in his own way behind the scenes #he has unowan + shoma + gaming + demi yt channels. that's his way of being a ''public figure'' and it's valid #i wish more skaters could have that privilege of privacy; those who want it ofc. #as long as he's happy & being himself & enjoying skating. for what it's worth- his approach works! nothing but gold this gp szn. #that's what i want for him more than anything else.

[raksh-writes]

Finally! Im pretty nuch finished with my uni assignment for the week ^^ I'll probably need to clean it up a bit before sending it in (maybe even tonight, a day early, cause why not) but tbh my attitude changed so much since I last went to uni, before I needed to have it all perfect and I was stressing over it so much, but now I look at it and just wave my hand like "good enough" 😂🙈

#personal #Raksh posts #tbf I did try to make it all look nice and unified between the sources #but since they are very different it does kinda change between them a bit #with a couple I wrote a few lines of description what I did and why #but I don’t really feel the need to do that with every single source #like if I gave the explanation in the other sources then its logical I did the same things with others right? #at least I think it is #I wondered if I should do like an overall summary at the end from all the data #but the prof didn’t mention anything like that needed so #I dunno #I'll see when I get to final edits either in the evening or tomorrow #but Im not keen on putting more into this than needed #its supposed to primarly be a help for us with our thesis so I feel like its mostly good enough #now Im gonna go have some fun #and try no to sneese myself to death in the meantime #its so irritating I swear #I was all good for weeks in that front and suddenly got an awful flare yesterday so now Im sneezing up a storm all the time ughhh #anyway I got myself Shadow of Mordor a couple days ago and I want to finally check it out #so Im gonna go enjoy myself for a bit ^^

[moishecampbell]

is it okay to post this over half a year after we were doing these. Yes (top 4 episodes letterbox'd after maze @/clairewolf's text post<3)

#there is an actual explanation and it is that after breaking my head over choosing representative top 4 i watched the fucking. #imtod ep of the anime. and realized i actually have to have 2.01 here sjflkdsjflksd #are those my actual top 4 ? no i don't think so. except hoth #but it is pretty representative. and i had fun making it even if it looks a little lame:) #originally it had jib which i don't actually like more than faith but faith and houses of the holy go together. whereas 3.12 is more #fun action-y which is also a genre of spn episods i like:) but man imtod. #there are some bits of 5.14 that honestly freak me out too much but it is still SUCH a sick episode i love it<3 #however taking out jib means no sgriccia episode:( #want to pin this. want to keep michael dean. decisions decisions.

[whalehouse1]

Reading Dial H for Hero to find out more about a new character. Enjoys it for the first few chapters then MULTIVERSE!!! Then we get the villain’s backstory which did not tie together at all then I get to issue 10 and my honest reaction to reading it was, “Did I have a stroke?”

#dial h for hero #here’s two new phones that were talked about but not obtained but are now #the art change from page to page was whiplash #absolutely no clue about the operator and thunderbolt at all #Miguel gets hit on a page and I guess representation(?) #it came off as very pandering for sales to me and I don’t like that #I’m not saying bring attention to this stuff but at least some cohesion would be nice #it was a fun story but 10 felt very much like a middle schooler writing her first fanfic #I can handle a convoluted plot that makes no sense #but I legit thought I had missed half the series reading 10 and just #no that’s not okay exposition all dialogue and saying they have stuff with no explanation is bad writing #and you don’t have to explore a character’s sexuality for it to count but when it’s the same as dropping a coin no #I liked the premise I like Miguel and Summer is there so if you want to do it please do it right #have fun don’t be serious and show them doing the stuff #subtlety is much more fun to read than screaming

[dmclemblems]

man, imagine just... letting people have their own opinions of gw and not making fun of people who did or didn’t enjoy it.

people in this fandom are so aggressive.

you can talk about your opinions and even hate or love as strongly as the human heart allows! just... don’t say things like “people are stupid for thinking xyz”. you do realize you may have mutuals or even friends following you that see that and are now apprehensive to talk to you, especially about this game, right? that you might be offending your own friends and acquaintances with insulting terminology and you don’t know a friend feels that way because they’re too anxious to even tell you now because you’ve made it clear that you think everyone with xyz opinion is some insulting and hurting term?

it’s one thing to say things like “this is the best/worst route between both games and I love/hate it more than anything”. it’s another to say something like “everyone who loves/hates gw is an absolute retard who didn’t understand claude’s character in houses in the first place if they loved/hated gw”.

no, I’m not quoting anyone specifically, but I’m trying to iterate to you an example of the sorts of things I’m seeing people saying as if under the assumption that every single person in their space agrees with them and that they’re not risking hurting someone with their words.

yeah, you can hate the route or love the route with every fiber of your being. I’m just personally not sure that’s worth being hateful toward every single other human being who has the opposite opinion as you, or worth making people apprehensive about checking their social media every day because they follow people who are very likely to insult entire groups of people based on their likes/dislike in a fictional universe.

like, yeah, I didn’t enjoy the second half of gw... but you know what’s cool? I’m still close friends with someone who liked it and feels the opposite way that I do about the writing and about claude.

#it sucks too bc I have mutuals on Twitter who will NOT stop talking about it #and going out of their way to point out every instance of their opinion while like #degrading the people who don't agree #at that point like mind your own business and talk about things that are fun??? stop getting mad at people for their opinions??? #it's really easy to go find something you enjoy on the damn internet it's like the easiest way ever lol #even when I just check regular tags for characters nowadays it's the same arguments #half or more of the content isn't the characters or fanart or anything like that anymore #it's just people arguing about stupid shit like okay we get it you do or don't like the writing in it #it doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to make other people feel bad about their opinion #it's one thing to discuss with people in your space (depending on which social media you use etc) #but to go out of your way or to outright insult people with the opposite opinion just makes you look like you're trying to start fights #when this game came out I wanted to remember it by being Billy's final work for his job and he did so so so good #and now it's hard to look at this game and think of it that way because I keep thinking of all the drama #it's still hard to listen to Ferdinand's lines and some more than others bc I was in Billy's streams a lot #so when I hear those things I tend to picture his face and it's still difficult for me. I still can't wrap my head around him being gone #and for two months at that now. I want to look at this game and think of the work he did and you know? if you don't that's fine #but it's hard for me to see it that way now when I just can't log on to ANYTHING on ANY day and see ANYTHING but arguing or like #people straight up insulting others and using offensive terms about people who didn't like something #like cool you loved/hated gw. wanna explain why you're tagging your hate for other people to see? would love to hear THAT explanation #it's kinda like how on Twitter I've had to block an obscene amount of people in the dmcl tags #bc they post the ship name i.e. a keyword in searches that will come up when fans look for content #and it's a bunch of offensive shit about the entire fanbase and how we're all disgusting people with shit opinions #and who don't enjoy the ship for actual context but apparently bc we just want to see two guys bang #imagine lumping an entire fandom of anything (ship character series etc) into an insulting and offensive box just bc YOU don't like it #or you had ONE bad experience with a fan of it so now you post hate in their search keywords instead of censoring it #so that it doesn't come up in someone's searches #literally how are you going to be prejudice about an entire group of shippers or character fans full of ppl you don't even KNOW? #and instead of talking to some of them to understand their reasoning you just post offensive shit in their searches/tags #this is the kind of shit I'm seeing with Hopes too which is why I'm mentioning it here