#their father was killed by humans me thinks

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile XII

Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader

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Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: Alright folks. This is Alastor point of view since his last chapter, it's 15K long. Beware: blood, killing animal, gore, drowing experience, torture, obession. I hope you'll enjoy what is going on inside our favorite deer's head.

“ You look tense, are you alright?” 

He repressed a sigh while turning his face toward his mother. He was reading a book about radio and how it worked. It didn’t seem complicated, it wasn’t complicated really but he knew he would have to put much more effort than others to be able to get a job that would satisfy him. People wouldn’t like a dark skinned man on the radio. 

“ I’m just reading.”

“ You’ve been reading the same book for weeks now. I should buy you another one.” his mother said as she took the book from his hands. He shook his head, taking his mother’s hand between his.

“ No need, mom. I was just thinking about what to buy you for Christmas.” 

“ Don’t you dare buy me something young man.” she tapped his nose with her finger, her face wearing a teasing smile. “ Let your mother spoil you before you become a grown man.”

He smiled at his mother with a soft expression. A grown man huh. What was the difference with how he was now ? Was she talking about his changing body? Or his morals? He watched her leave the room before signing. What was a grown man?

 He changed his clothes with his hunting outfit, put on his glasses and went to the woods. He walked quietly into the snow, stalking animals, or finding news areas. He watched as animals weren’t aware of his presence, he was the perfect hunter, almost like a divine punishment that couldn’t be stopped. He quite enjoyed the feeling, the thrill.. But hunting animals was getting boring.. He craved something more…more what? 

He thought about his father with a dark smile. He had so many scenarios inside his head,  how he would chase him, how he would trap him, he would make him feel the terror he had put on him and his mother for years. He had all the scenarios inside of his head but when it came to killing him, he didn’t know.  Maybe being a grown man was knowing how to kill someone? 

His thoughts drifted toward you. His special person, his safe space. You were stressing out because war was still going on and he was nearing the age where he would be taken to fight for his country. On one hand he didn’t want to go and leave you here, he didn’t think he could be sane knowing you were so far away from him but on the other hand, war meant killing, killing other humans, and that, that was interesting. 

He looked down on his pocket watch. It was something old, and that seemed to stop working each time he went into the woods. He rolled his eyes, this was so annoying. He walked back toward his home, as quietly as he arrived. He knew he was the most dangerous predator in these woods. Now, he needed to be the most dangerous predator in his own house.

He changed his outfit and went to your house with his mother. Your home has always been much warmer than his, and his mother would be smiling with your mom. He liked that image. Even with his father gone, his house was calm, not warm, because his mother and Alastor knew it was only a matter of time before the devil came back to his own house. He smiled at your mother when she opened the door and said you didn’t arrive yet. That’s okay, he’ll wait. He’ll always wait for you. 

After thirty minutes, there you were, opening the door with hot chocolate on your lips. How could you still drink that, he couldn’t understand you. You seemed in a hurry so what’s better than taking your attention from your quest?

“ Look who’s here~.” he smiled as you hugged him before kissing him on both cheeks. Your touch was something that grounded him, sometimes he would be so lost in thoughts he wouldn’t realize he zooned out for more than thirty minutes, sometimes even longer, but if you happened to touch him, he'd just come back, as easily as that.

“ Seems like someone drank hot chocolate but didn't bother wiping her mouth.” he wiped your bottom lips with his gloved hand. You flushed as he stared at your mouth, keeping his finger on your lips. He lightly pressed his finger against your lips, he almost wanted to nip it. Your lips looked… delicious. He looked at your eyes, the windows of your soul and couldn’t help but feel content. You had a glint in your eyes, a glint that would appear only in his presence. You looked at him like you were asking, begging for more… More of what? Please, do talk dear, tell him what you need, he’ll make it so you are fulfilled.

“ Oh my dear, you look starving.”

You gasped as you took a step back while Alastor was smirking at you, his arms folded behind his back. You stuck your tongue to him, like you used to, and he couldn’t help but grin. You were the same, the same little girl who would follow him everywhere. He smirked when he heard your mother’s remonstrance.

“ Yes, listen to your Mother. Keep your tongue inside your pretty mouth.” teased Alastor as he sat on the sofa with his usual mocking smile. “ Now my dear, do you have news to share with me?”

You began to talk about your school, what was happening there and of course you had to motion John. Truthfully, Alastor didn’t care about John’s interest in you, he really didn’t care, unless he was being dangerous. What he cared about was that you mentioned him. Which meant, he was important enough for you to notice him and bring him into your daily conversation.

“ Should I be alarmed ? It’s not the first time I heard this name ?” teased Alastor as he took off his glasses to clean them with a tissue from his chest pocket.

“ Which one? Alice? She wants to meet you…” you mumbled and tensed when you saw Alastor’s smile. Ohoh.. Now, that was interesting. Having another point of view about your associations would be a plus. He trusted you, but you were so naive, you couldn’t even see what you had to offer. How could he trust your word about people being nice to you without asking something in exchange.

“ Well, why didn't you say so! I would be delighted to meet the darling that blesses my sweet little friend with her presence when I’m not here!” he exclaimed as he stood up. You jumped off the sofa as you forced him to sit back down. 

“ No Alastor !”

“ Oh come on my dear, do you want to keep me all to yourself ? How bold.” he smiled as he watched you struggle to keep him sitting. If he just used some of his strength, it would be so easy to just stand up but he liked to see you try. How would you shut him up today? With a kiss on his cheek? A witty come back?

You sat on his lap.

He clenched his hand on the sofa, and inhaled deeply. What an odd reaction from his own body. He was used to your touch, some days his body couldn’t bear it but today it didn’t seem like it. He didn’t feel like your touch was burning him so it wasn’t a bad day. But your touch right now wasn’t as relaxing as usual. He stared at you, you were blushing. How cute. Were you feeling as conflicted as he felt ? He wanted to know. He needed to know what you were thinking.

“ What do you want for your birthday ?”

His body tensed for a second, staring straight at you, did you avoid what was happening? Oh well, he’ll let this one pass. He relaxed himself and laughed, tilting his head backward. He shook his head as he rolled his eyes. Every year you would ask him what he wanted for his birthday and each year he would give you the same answer.

“ Well, just like always. Celebrating with you and Mother. What could I ask for more?” he smiled at you but as you tried to stand up from his thighs, he grabbed your waist and pulled you near his face. He didn’t know what happened, his mouth talked before his own brain could think. “ Should we invite John?”

“ Who–? Wait, John? Why?” you frowned as you looked at his smile which was tense. He was grabbing your waist tighter now but you didn’t seem to dislike it.  You didn’t even flinch or wince in pain. Everything he gave you, you always took it nicely…

“ Wait… Are you jealous?” you smiled as his smile twitched,“ Yes, yes, you are. Haha !” you laughed, not mockingly, but happily, like you enjoyed the fact that he could be jealous. Him? Jealous? Don’t make him laugh, dear.

 He pinned you down on the sofa and began to tickle you. Your laughter was smooth music to his ears but then you began to gasp for air as your cheeks were flushed because of him. He felt a shiver run down his spine as you looked up at him with teary eyes and cheeks flushed. He kind of wanted you to talk in that state, what would you sound like? So he ordered you to say his three rules. He stared at your face as you opened your mouth.

“ You are the strongest here.” you gasped as you tried to wipe your tears that threatened to stream down your face but Alastor holded both of your wrists in one hand so you couldn’t hide from his observant eyes. Don’t hide from him. Don’t ever think about hiding yourself from him…

“ Rule number three.” 

“ I give up…” you breathed as you closed your eyes. You felt his head next to yours, his lips almost touching your ears.  You were so… enchanting. Did you put a spell on him, making him behave like a starved man that couldn’t help but seek your presence to be fulfilled ? What’s even worse, you were giving yourself to him. Were you aware of it? Each time you let him see your emotions, each time you let yourself be vulnerable with him, you were giving him such silenced praises. No one should feel safe with him. No one but you. But how he wished for you to tell him that. He wanted to hear those words from your mouth.

“ Give up yourself to me.” he whispered.

Your eyes opened suddenly, feeling your body being hot. You looked at Alastor who was above you. What did he say? Did he really say those words? He was so confused. That was new… He tilted his head as he watched your expression. You looked at him with..hope? Was that hope? Like you wished him to say those words again. But he wouldn’t, not now, he needed to understand what was going on inside of his own mind.

“ Are you okay, you look almost as red as Eamon ?” he laughed at you as he stood up, putting his glasses back on. You asked him to repeat himself which he did, still confused by his own behavior.  “ By the way dear, it seems like you have a letter.” he said as he held a letter to you, which made you beamed. Surefly it must have been from your father.

“ You still have no news from your father?” you asked after reading the letter.

“ No, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been killed for insubordination.” he said with detachment as he looked at his nails. He wished his father was still alive, dying like an honorable soldier didn’t fit him at all. You nodded before turning your head toward the entrance where you heard a knock. You stood up and went to open the door and froze.

“ Alice ?”

Alice huh? Wasn’t she the one who oh so desperately wanted to meet him? He stood up from the sofa and listened to the conversation, trying to find clues about Alice’s personality without having to interact with the lady.

“ Alice… A man came to your door with my bag and you are not worried ? How did he know where you lived ? Does that mean he followed us?” he heard you say. Huh… He walked into the home’s entrance and saw you tugging a woman into your house before going outside, trying to see if someone was following her. Sweet heavens, did you not care about your own safety? He jerked you back inside the house giving you a pissed smile.

“ Are you dumb? If there is a man who is following you, why would you show your face, confirming that you are living here.” he asked you coldly. You closed the door quickly. 

“ The man isn’t here for me, if he is here. He didn’t follow me, he followed her.” you pointed to Alice. “ You can understand that, I mean, look at her.” 

He turned his back at you to look at the newcomer.  He observed her, she was a blue eyed girl, with long blonde hair and she looked like the cherry kind of girl. There he looked at her, could he give you back his attention now? Oh, he almost forgot his manners. He took her hand in his gloved one and flashed her his usual smile.

“ Quite a pleasure to be meeting you, I’ve heard a lot of you. You seemed like a clever woman, I would have never guessed that you would walk down the street with a soon to be stalker at your feet, bringing this man to my dear friend’s door!” 

“ N-nice to be meeting you, sir. I’m.. I’m sorry..?” Alice stared at you, begging you with her eyes to do something. She was lucky you were behind him or he would have slaughtered her with words about how dumb she was to bring danger to your front door. 

But he was a gentleman.

“ No, no, No need to be sorry. It is not your fault, but the gentleman’s one. You both shouldn’t stay outside alone.”

“ Alastor, maybe we are overthinking. Maybe he was a nice gentleman–”

“ Oh my friend, hush.” he turned back to Alice, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. What did he tell you about your endearing naivety? “ What did he look like?”

He listened as the girl began to describe the man’s appearance. Tall, white man, black eyed, no pilosity.. Huh.. Everyone in New Orleans looked like that. But from what she told you before, it didn’t seem like a stalker. A stalker wouldn’t risk being seen…

“ Well, dear friends of mine, go into the living room, I'll go with some drinks.” you said, sounding upset to his ears. But right now he didn't have time for your emotion, your safety always came first.

“ No, no, I won’t bother you any longer. I’m going home.” 

“ I’ll accompany you.Stay here.”

He went to the kitchen, said to his mother that he was going to bring a lady back to her own home. He didn’t kiss you goodbye, why would he? He was going to come back as soon as the luggage was dropped. 

He walked while observing around him. If the stalker was for Alice, he would feel someone following him. He has an instinct that has been sharpened by his father’s constant presence. He knew where danger came from.

“ So.. You both are childhood friends?”

“ Well of course we are! Can’t you see the special bond that ties us together. Only a fool would deny such–”

“ Oh yes, yes, of course, I wouldn’t dare deny such a strong bond, but other boys, like a guy named John, would deny it. After all, some say, she has never been with another man than you so…” he looked at Alice, still smiling. Was she trying to work him up? 

“ Well, tell this… John fella, why would she need another man? Or even a woman? Our bond is too special for this stupid boy to understand.” he spat with a charming smile. Alice beamed as his answers. He didn’t like her. It was like she was observing him, hoping to find answers. 

Try again.

He let her at her front door steps and left quickly. It was beginning to be late and he didn’t want to kiss you goodbye if you were already asleep. He walked into your home and found your mother with a confused expression. Seemed like something happened and you were upset.

He frowned and went into your bedroom. He opened the door quietly and walked toward your lying form in your bed. He kneeled down and stroked your cheeks which were still wet from your tears.

Who made you cry?

Who dared make you cry?

“ Dear friend, why are you crying?”

You sat up immediately asking him why he was here, hiding yourself from him with your blanket. What a dumb question…

“ Well, I came to give you your kiss, dummy.” he approached his face toward you, staring at your eyes. “ But why are you crying? Is it because of the man?” his eyes went cold, his smile widened but there was no warmth. Did that man come here while he was taking your friend back home?  “ Did he come here? Did he touch you? Where?”

 You just stared at him as tears were falling down your cheeks. He wanted to slay something, someone. Each tear your eyes dropped would be a drop of blood out of the man’s body. 

“ This bastard was here? I fucking walked your little friend home so I could see if someone was lingering around here and that bastard had the nerve to come and–”

Then he couldn’t see you anymore, the blanket was covering his face. But then, he felt a pressure against his lips. He froze. Did you just… Did you..?

“ No.. I was just… afraid that you would leave me for Alice.” you whispered. He couldn’t see you and he knew that if you covered his face right now, it was because you didn’t want to talk about it at the moment. Well, he couldn't be mad at you. Since you introduced your game of covering someone's eyes and then telling a secret and the other had to keep his mouth shut about it, he did it to you plenty of times when you were being a little too curious.  “ She is a beautiful lady, and she is interesting, sweet… a perfect lady you would say.”

“ Don’t put words in my mouth dear.” You chuckled as he moved his hand blindly toward your cheek, wiping your tears away. Seemed like you stopped crying, great.  “ So, you thought she was going to take me away from you? How absurd. Nothing could tear me away from you, not even yourself.”

You really thought something could keep him away from you? How absurd. He waited for an answer for you but was confronted by a dead silence. Well…

“ Can I take off your blanket now?”

You laughed and uncovered his face, his warm smile was back,your laughter could calm him down so quickly… You really put a spell on him, didn’t you? He watched you as you fidgeted with your nightgown. Well, it seems like it was time for him to take his leave!

“ You look like an absolute mess my dear friend! I’ll let you rest and please, do get your beauty sleep unless you want to crack every mirror you shall see.” he laughed as you tried to hit him with a pillow. He kissed you on the forehead, giggling before leaving your bedroom. “ See you soon, doll~!”

He didn’t know why but he walked back home with his mother with a big smile on his lips.

—-

He wiped the blood from his face. Killing animals was getting easier and easier. He chuckled as he stared at his bloodied knife and the dead animal around him. Rabbit, doves, wild board. He laughed out loud, his head tilted back.

Yes, this thrill… This thrill ! 

“ Oh father, please stay alive. I’m preparing something worth living once, I’m preparing your Death.” he laughed maniacally in the forest with cadavers surrounding him. He turned his head toward the noise of a branch cracking, already raising his knife but stopped moving. 

A deer.

Was it the same deer he saved that made his father beat him?

“ Well, hello there. Am I disturbing you?” he smiled, tilting his head. He watched as the deer came closer and began to eat the rabbit's remains. Alastor’s eyes widened before chuckling. What kind of deer would eat meat? “ Aren’t you odd? Well, I guess we are the same..” He stared at his bloody hands and couldn’t help but think about you. What would you think right now? Nobody was forcing him to hunt. He was doing it himself, he was enjoying himself.. Would you still smile at him with the same smile? The same warmth in your eyes. He closed his eyes as he inhaled the blood scent. 

Would you understand him? Or would you run away from him ? 

Would you wait for him at home, preparing dinner while he comes back, dirty, bloody from his hunts. Would you embrace him, worrying about his health and not the animal's? Would you kiss his bloodied lips or put a blanket in front of it? Would you live in a lie with him or accept him fully… Would you open your eyes and stare at his soul and tell him you’ll stay by his side…

Oh odd for him to think like this. But he was thinking about you, so he wasn’t really surprised. He stood up and looked around, the deer wasn’t here anymore. He took some animals and brought them back home so his mother could cook them. His mother had a sad smile when she saw him enter their house, he wondered why. He quickly prepared a bath but just before getting into it he stared at himself in the mirror.

His scars were beginning to fade, for some of them. He chuckled before going into the bath.

He was so monstrous, inside and out.

He tilted his head back on the edge of the bathtub. He hummed a melody you used to sing when you were younger. It’s been a long time since he hadn't heard you sing, he should find a song to play so you could sing. He nodded before sinking into the water, smiling as the water began to redden from the blood he had on him.

Yes, he should go see you.

—-

“ I’ll be delighted!”

He smiled as you looked at him from the swing, confused. You just asked him about coming with you into Alice’s soirée for Chritmas’s Eve.  He was lying down, reading a book which he didn’t even remember the title of. 

“ Really? You would like to come?” you smiled as you let the swing go, walking toward him. He put his book down and looked up at you with his usual grin, he really was excited about it! 

“ Of course dear, going to a soirée with you holding on to my arm? How could I refuse? And I’m sure my Mother would be delighted to celebrate Christmas’s Eve with your mother, as long as we celebrate Christmas with them.” he sketched before sitting up. You laughed softly before tugging off leaves from his hair. He smiled and layed down on your thighs, taking his book back and began to read the same sentence he was trying to comprehend. I Love You. What does it mean ? What was the protagonist feeling right now? The description of his feelings seemed so light compared to what Alastor felt for you. He was obsessed with you and yet he didn’t feel like what was described in this book. 

He wanted you to see the monster inside of him. That side of him you haven’t met again. He wanted you to be able to make yourself bleed in front of him, like a fish in front of a shark, but never being afraid of him hurting you. You would look so beautiful drenched in blood…

“ Alastor, what are you going to wear?”

He snapped back in reality, answering you without missing a beat.

“ Why?”

“ Come on, I was just wondering… I don’t know what kind of dress would suit me, I have never been to a fancy soirée. I’m scared of being… underdressed. “ he almost scoffed at your words. You? Being afraid of being underdressed? Hah ! How stupidly adorable. You could be shining like the sun and he would still watch you until his eyes dry out. He tilted his head backward on your laps so he could stare into your gaze. You were beautiful, how unfair…

“ Red suits you.” he stared at you before you looked away. Were you cheek flushed? Cute… See, red suited you.

“ Well, thank you, does that mean that the only color that suits me is red and I look awful with any other color?” 

“ Oh I didn’t say that. I just want to see you in red.” he smiled in satisfaction as your smile grew bigger. You took his book off his hands, which he let you do, still looking at you. You put the book next to you, on the grass. 

“ Do you think you'll be able to keep up with me if we have to dance ?” you teased him, raising an eyebrow. His eyes widened before he roared with laughter, holding his belly. You were utterly humorous ! He had more endurance than you and he loved dancing. Being in control of the other person’s body was thrilling. They trusted him not to make them fall, they tried to match his footsteps… He stared at you with mirth in his eyes. Oh dear… 

“ Oh my dearest friend, if we happen to dance, trust me, I’ll make it so you wouldn’t be able to walk for some days.” he winked at you with a confident smile. You laughed out loud, throwing your head back. Maybe he should give you a reminder of his skills…

He took your hand and helped you standing up before walking you home. The road was frozen which made him suppress a few laughs as he saw some people slipping on the ice while you were busy looking at the shop’s vitrines. Were you still trying to find a birthday present for him? You should rather look where you were putting your feet… 

“ Hey, Alasto-”

Thought so.

You screamed as your foot slid on ice. You felt yourself falling before Alastor wrapped his arms around you and tugged your body against him before gracefully dancing around the freezed road. You stared at him, your eyes wide opened as he made you spin on the freezing floor, but you never fell, he was moving your body, like it was another part of him. You began to laugh happily. 

He couldn’t help but smile wider. Your laughter was something that could heal any illness in the world, he was sure of it. And yet, you were the one, making him feel things he couldn’t name. You must be a witch, making him fall for you without him trying to struggle. And even though you were the one putting a spell on him, you let him do what he wanted with your body. You closed your eyes as he controlled the pace of your dancing. What were you trying to do to him?

 He made you drop, your head almost touching the ground. You stared at him as he held you firmly, your breath coming in short puff. He was staring intensely at you with a satisfied smile, yes, this looked good on you.

“ No matter what, I’ll always catch you if you fall.”

As he walked you back home he hoped you understood his message. No matter how hard you fell, how low you fell, he would be there before you,lower than you waiting to catch you.

—-

He was at your place with his mother fussing around him. She wanted him to look perfect but wasn’t he always perfect? He knew how to keep appearance, so being dressed up was the easiest thing someone could ask him. He held the bouquet behind his back, he wondered if you would understand the meaning of the flowers. He asked the florist for hyacinth, white carnation and white chestnuts. He was excited though, he really couldn’t wait to see your dress. Did you choose a red dress? His suit was a darker shade of red but he hoped you both would match. 

“ Alastor, come closer, there she is !”

He walked toward the stairs and froze.

Oh.

You were breathtaking.

Your makeup was accentuating your traits. You looked devilishly divine. You were wearing red. Your legs made him want to sink his teeth into it. You wore heels making you the same height as him.  You kissed him softly on both cheeks making him gulp. He felt like he had no control over himself. You were like something he wasn’t worth touching and yet, you were offering yourself to him. How cruel of you.

“ Alastor, please say something…” you begged, looking down.

Oh no, his dearest shouldn’t look so down while looking so perfect. He grabbed your chin softly and raised your face toward his. 

“ I told you, red is our color.” he smirked before giving you the bouquet. You smiled brightly as you saw the flowers, you didn’t seem to understand the message but who cared when you were smiling like this? He couldn't tear his eyes from you, you were enchanting, ethereal…

“ You both are so beautiful, but leave right now before being late !” Marie said just after taking a picture of you. You took a long coat that hid your figure before leaving with your arm around Alastor’s one. 

“ I can’t wait to be there ! “ you said excitedly. Alastor was being careful of every man who could touch you in any way. He didn’t think he would be able to have a polite gentleman's conversation if that were to happen. He looked at your feet, you were walking nicely with those heels, you weren’t even slipping on the frozen road.

After a thirty minute walk, you both find yourself in front of a huge house.Well, he already knew Alice was a daddy’s girl so he really wasn’t surprised, unlike you, from your expression, you didn't expect Alice to be this loaded.

You knocked on the huge door and a butler opened the door, eyeing suspiciously but before you could even your mouth you saw Alice running toward you. She was wearing an outfit similar to yours but hers was white and blue. She looked boringly angelic. He almost scoffed, please, was she supposed to be some kind of boring angel?

“ You made it ! Come, come, come inside!” 

After introducing yourself to some of Alice’s guests, you walked toward a buffet. He already remembered every name, every contact he could make right now.

“ Well, what do you think of it so far?” you asked him with a tired smile. He took a drink and sniffed it before putting it back. “ What?”

“ Be careful, some of the brevage have alcohol,” he said before leaning against the wall.” but I’m not surprised. Your friend seems to be the type to always go big.  Being able to pull off this kind of soirée with a war going on? I’m almost impressed.” he said before straightening his tie.  Now, could the band he saw before entering, begin to play? He wanted to dance with you and show off your talents.

“ Alastor, is it you?”

Dang it.

He flashed the lady his most charming smile. She was the mayor’s daughter, Alyzée. So Alice was close with high society.. He began a conversation with her. He met her during a school event, he was playing the piano and she began to chat with him. She must be around her twenties and yet, she came to him. Perfect for him, she could be useful.

He looked at the band as they began to play songs. He almost flinched when the woman dragged him toward the dance floor. Well, he could afford to waste some dance with this woman before going back to you. The songs weren’t hard to keep up, so dancing with Alyzée was pleasant at most but he couldn't help but look to where you were.

He almost snapped Alyzée’s hand.

You were dancing with that John. Why was he here? He looked so underdressed, you weren’t going to dance with him once more would you? He spinned Alyzée, never letting you off his gaze. If that bastard were to throw you in the air…

He turned his face toward Alyzée as she began to talk about her father’s plan for New Orleans. Great, that would smooth his nerves. What did the man planned for the black community? He listened to her, still dancing. It wasn’t thrilling in the slightest but at least, he had some information on what was going on in the high sphere.

After some dances, another girl came to ask him for a dance. He gave her his usual smile and took her hand, thanking Alyzée for her information. Well, this new girl wasn’t useful in any way but she could be a distraction if she knew how to dance.

He snapped his head toward the scene as soon as your voice reached his ears. What were you doing on stage? You were astonishing. You held the crowd in the palm of your hand. You were controlling them with your voice, were you aware of that? You were a devil in disguise. Ooh, you were exquisite. 

He suppressed a sigh as the woman tried to take his attention back. He couldn’t be impolite here, there were too many risks at stake. He danced with her, hoping for some kind of divine power to put an end to this clown show. He almost smirked when he heard you singing with much more vigor, the beat getting faster. Oh, how he loved those kinds of songs. Unfortunately for him, it seemed like his dance partner couldn’t keep up with him.

He flinched when he felt someone touch him and turned around. 

There you were.

You grinned at him, singing before smoothly taking him away from the girl. You both were encircled by the crowd but he didn’t care. Alastor and you danced, never breaking eye contact. You kept the rhythm as fast as you could, every step was nailed, every spin. He would bring your back against his chest and then he would spin you so your face was inches away from each other. Your pupils were dilated, just like his, were you aware of that? And then Alastor lifted you in his arms before throwing you in the air.  Did you remember his promise to always catch? It seemed you did, because you already had your eyes closed before he lifted you in the air. 

You fell down in his arms, your head near the floor but never touching it. You felt his breath on your lips and you opened your eyes, staring right back into his gaze. He was sweating and so were you. You were holding his shoulder, breathing hard. You were both alone in your own world. 

Wasn’t living much more worth it when you were both together, dearest?

And just like that, the spell broke as the crowd cheered for you. You blinked and Alastor straightened you up with a genuine smile. You both went back to the buffet after you gave back the microphone to the singer.

“ Oh my Lord, you both were.. I don’t even have the words!” squealed Alice as she shook you by the shoulders. 

“It really was amazing.” John said as he clapped while you were drinking a glass of water. Of course, you punk.

“ That’s what happens when you let us do our things together, let that be a lesson folks.”  Alastor said as he put his arms around your shoulders.  You nudged him but couldn’t contain your laughter. You were having a great time and so was he now. He tugged you once more toward the dance floor, he promised you many dances after all.

After a while, he sat down with you at a table with some friend of Alice’s. He already knew where it was going to go. 

“ You’ve never kissed before? Hoho, you don’t know what you are missing.” said a lady to John who just blushed. The lady started at Alastor. “ And you, pretty boy? Have you ever kissed someone ?” 

“ Yes, I have.”

He smirked. You were his first kiss, and everyone should be envious of him for that. But what he didn’t understand was when the question was asked to you, you said you’ve never kissed anyone. At first, he thought you were ashamed of having kissed him but it wasn’t what was shown on your face. You looked… hurt. 

“ Well, why not remedy it tonight, just before Christmas ! John, was it, why don’t you kiss our adorable singer right here?” you flushed even more and Alastor felt anger swirling up inside of him? Could someone shut this harlot?

“ As if my dearest friend’s first kiss would be with such a boring fella, no offense my friend.” said Alastor sarcastly. Could they stop talking about you like you were some kind of prize? You must have been upset because you stood up and went into the garden behind the mansion. He stood up after a minute or so and joined you outside.

“ You are going to catch a cold.”

You turned your head toward Alastor as he took off his blazer, ready to hand it to you. You shook your head. Hha.. you were being a brat right now?

“ No, I needed… I need the cold air.” he hummed, well, he could have guessed.

“ Why did you lie ?”

“ Pardon?” you turned your body toward him as he took a step toward you.

“ About your first kiss.” he really needed that answer.

“ I didn’t lie, I’ve never kissed anyone. And unlike you, if I did, I would have told you but Mister Alastor doesn’t care to share such a secret with me, am I right?” you crossed your arms over your chest. He smiled at you mockingly. How could you be so stupid but so adorable at the same time? How?

“ Don’t you dare look at me like that, Alastor.”

“ You’ve always been endearingly stupid. My first kiss was with you, in your room, remember ?” he tilted his head as he took another step toward you. He saw your body relaxed and you began to explain how it wasn’t a real kiss because in books bla bla.. He rolled his eyes as you looked away, why did you care about books? Were they the one writing what was going on between the both of you. His hand found the back of your waist as he softly tugged you against him. Come on, don’t hide from him…

“ So, a first kiss must be with a special someone, right?” he waited for you to nod before raising your chin with his finger. “ Then, can I give you my real first kiss?” You stared at him with your eyes wide open, your cheeks flushed red. “ You are my most special person since childhood… For me, it’s only natural for you to have my first kiss.” he smiled at you, did you understand what he was trying to tell you?“ You don’t have to if you don’t want of course, but–”

“ I want to. You.. You are also my .. most special person…” he nodded with a soft genuine smile. That made his body relax. He smirked as he saw you closing your eyes. Oh no little lady, you hid yourself one or two many times tonight. You’ll let him watch your emotions.

“ Nu-uh, keep your eyes on me.” you opened your eyes, blushing furiously.

“ You are supposed to close your eyes when you are kissing someone !”

“ I don’t really care, this is our first kiss, we’ll do it how we want.” he smirked as he approached his face toward you. Your eyes were looking everywhere on his face while his gaze was focused on your eyes. You were nervous and excited. Did you feel this emptiness being fulfilled because of his presence like it was with yours? You did finish by closing your eyes as you kissed each other. How cute…

You kept your eyes closed as Alastor stepped back slightly , he could still feel your breath against his mouth. You opened your eyes and gave him a shy smile as he whispered.

“ So dear, have you ever kissed someone ?” you nodded. “ With whom?” Say it, say it, say it…

“ Alastor.”

“ How was it?”

“ Perfect.” you smiled at him as he grinned at you before covering your shoulder with his blaze. He could see your lipstick being less vivid than before. He must have some of your lipstick on his lips. He licked his lips.

“ Come on now, the soirée needs its stars !”

He went back inside, keeping his jacket on your shoulder. It would be a shame for you to get sick. He sat back down and easily went back to the conversation that was being carried on. They were talking about how they wished the enemy would just drop dead. He smirked, they didn’t know how to kill but they wished for other people's death either way. How hypocritical.

He felt your hands on his tights. He took your hand in his, caressing your skin before looking at you. You were pointing to his own lips and he couldn’t help but grin harder. Alice must have told you about your lipstick. He leaned toward you.

“ You already want another one?”

You threw yourself back against your chair as Alastor was laughing, throwing his head back. Everyone stopped talking and looked at the both of you, confused and curious. You took your glass, hiding your face behind it as they tried to coat you to tell them what had happened. Alastor couldn’t help but talk first, clearly wanting to tease you.

“ I just reminded my dearest friend that being gluttonous was bad,” he said with a cunning smile. Oh, you looked so pissed ! “ You might get addicted!”

“ Unlike you, I don't have food all over my mouth.” You closed one eye, staring at him with the other as you drank from your glass.“ and as you know my dear Alastor, since our younger age, you always were the glutton one.” you smirked. Oho, were you trying to shut him up? Cute attempt.

“ You know that when I like something, I can’t help but crave more until there is nothing left for others to share.”

He grinned as you almost spat your water. 1-0. He won this fair and square.

“ Ooh Alastor, you have such a way with words. What else can that mouth do?” said a woman. He turned his gaze toward her, his smile still present.

“ It bites.” 

Thank God, you wanted to go home. He shook some hands and waved at Alyzée before leaving with you. You were shaking, from the cold weather and, he supposed, from your heels. Well.. He kneeled and carried you in his arms and began walking toward your home.

“ You know you have lipstick on your lips?”

“ Well, yes.  Dear, when you kissed me I could see that your lipstick wasn’t as clean as before. And with Alice’s reaction, it just confirmed my thoughts.” he smiled teasingly at you. 

“ But… Why did you not wipe it?”

He shut his mouth. How could he explain that he wished to feel you longer on his lips. He wanted your taste on his tongue. He wanted to consume you like you were consuming his thoughts. He lost himself in his thoughts until you were in front of your doorstep.

“ I wanted to feel you a little longer.”

Seems like you understood he still wasn’t really sure about his feelings. You just held his hands between yours before opening the door, entering the silent house. He closed the door, watching around him, making sure there wasn't anything strange. 

After checking on his mother he went into your bedroom where you were already ready to fall asleep still dressed up. He dragged you toward the bathroom and sat you on the bathtub’s edge. You were whining that you were oh so tired but he didn’t care. You needed to go to bed completely clean. He began to wipe your lips as you accepted your fate.

“ Good girl.” he smirked at you with a mocking glint in his eyes.

And there it was. You bit his finger and he felt his body react. He felt a shiver going from the top of his hand until the end of his legs. He knew you didn’t like being called a good girl, most of the time he used those terms when he was easily manipulating someone. But you weren’t like other people.

You were his oh so precious special person…

He leaned toward you, making you lean back, keeping his finger between your teeth, until your back was at the bottom of the bathtub. He climbed above you, his eyes never leaving yours.

“ I recall being the one who said that I bite…” he looked at you calmly as you stared at him with angry eyes. Did you know how it made him feel that you accepted that situation so easily? His hands had killed animals, his hands were drenched in their blood and soon enough his father’s blood. Yet, here you were, staying comfortably underneath him, like he wasn’t the most dangerous man you have ever met.

Would you accept him ? This question was beginning to bring him closer to madness than he would admit. Would you dirty yourself with him? Would you drenched your hands in blood and then cup gently his head with a sweet smile.

Would you be a sinner for him? with him?

Then he felt cold water on him. You just turned on the shower.. He smirked, was that a sign? You would be the one washing up his sins? Or did it mean you would always want a cleaner version of himself, that you couldn’t accept his bloodied self? You both cleaned up before you asked for his help in your bedroom. Seemed like you couldn’t take off your dress by yourself.

He approached you and dragged the zip down. You thanked him but didn’t move when you felt his gaze on your back.He wondered how he was looking at you? Like a hunter? Like a friend? Like a man? You turned your head toward him with a curious expression. He was still looking at your back with a straining smile. “ I hope nobody will ever backstab you… Can I..?” he whispered as he held his hand toward your back. You nodded and closed your eyes when you felt his other hand covered your eyes. 

You were so compliant, never asking anything about his weird tendencies. He stared at your back, unharmed, unlike his. He traced the scars his father did on his back, but on yours. But unlike his fathers, his fingers were gentle against your skin. You weren’t flinching, afraid of him. You were even pressing yourself against his hands.  Would you still have done it if you knew his thoughts? His delirious thoughts about killing his father? Would you still let his dirty hands touch you?

“ Alastor..” you whispered and he hummed in response. “ Can I… Can I do the same..?”

…

Could you do the same..? He wished for it. He wanted you to see him, as he was. But tonight, he would be a coward.

“ If you keep your eyes closed.”

He took off his shirt and sat down on your bed, his back facing you. His body was tense, he knew you would keep your eyes closed but he felt like you could see right through him. That in any moment you would scream at him to leave you alone. That he was the same kind of monster as his father.

But this moment never came. Your hands were so gentle against his bruised skin, against his broken self. You asked him if he was okay multiple times, making sure he was still with you. How perfect could you be? He tried to keep himself from hugging you, letting you map his back with your hands.

“ You are beautiful, Alastor.”

“ You say that because you keep your eyes closed when you are with me.”

“ Then, let me open them.”

“...No, not yet.”

Please, let him believe you were accepting as he was right now. 

“ Alright.” you said softly. You didn’t ask, as always, letting him be ready to come to you. He didn’t deserve you and yet, he would destroy anyone that would try to keep you away from him. He flinched when he felt your lips against one of his scars. You began to apologize but he stopped you, you didn’t have to apologize. Never.

He moved, making you step back. He was now sitting in front of you, with his legs opened and you in between, on your knees. Your eyes were still closed, as instructed. He smiled, you didn’t break his trust, you never will, right?

“ Alastor.. Where..?”

“ I’m here, you are caged between my legs right now.” he said with a teasing smirk.

You scoffed at the choice of his words.

“ I’m caged ?” you teased him, tilting your head against his legs. 

“ With me.” he kissed you on your forehead.” Would you like that? Being caged with me?” he whispered almost desperately. 

“ Yes.”

Oh Lord.

He tugged you against his torso, embracing you as hard as he could. You didn’t hesitate, you would be ready to throw yourself to the flames with him. How could he not crave you? Maybe you would accept him, you’ll just need more time than he thought. He kissed your forehead before putting back his shirt. He went downstairs to prepare your hot chocolate. He grimaced as he smelt the scent. How could you drink this…

He walked quietly upstairs and gave you your drink which you happily drank.  You fell asleep almost immediately. He would almost be envious as he looked at your sleeping form before letting himself rest for an hour or two.

The next morning, everyone was giving their presents. He smiled when you gave him a watch. He didn’t know why, but he knew deep inside that this watch would keep working even in the woods or even through Hell itself.

—

Alastor was helping his mother clean the house. She hurted her hips so he was taking care of lifting the heavy boxes he found in the cave. His mother never wanted him to go there, sometimes he respected until this day. She was the one asking him to clean there and he was excited. What kind of secret would he find?

Nothing much but books and some animal’s skeletons. He sat on an old chair and leaned against a shelf a little too hard which made a book fall. He sighed as he took the book and stared at him. What was that… It looked like a journal, almost the same as the one he had in his bedroom since he could write. He opened it and began to read.

It was a Voodoo’s book. Explaining its origins and even more interesting, what could be done with it. Alastor couldn’t help but smile as he began to read spells about soul binding, trapping souls inside objects… What was needed, for each spell, were animal sacrifices to feed and beckon the spirits.  Was that why his mother would ask him to hunt, but sometimes, never cooking the animals? 

He smirked. If he could control or work with those spirits… He would be unstoppable. From what he read, it was in his blood but he’ll be the judge of that, if spirits were useful or not, if they existed or not. He shut the book. He needed more information, he needed to practice. He needed a place where he could learn without being bothered. He bit his lips, the cave must be his mother’s sacred place, it wouldn’t feel right to taint it with his dark goals. He held the book against his chest as he went to his bedroom quietly. 

He’ll find a place.

He sat on his bed and began to read the soul binding spells. He needed your blood and his, and an object that would bind us together, an object that had a powerful meaning for the both of you. He frowned as he looked at all the things he needed to own before making the spells. He laid on his bed. An object that binds you together. Why not his microphone from when he was younger? You both had fun with it, it wasn’t working anymore but still…

 His eyes settled on Eamon.

Perfect.

Eamon was the best material bond between the both of you. He smiled as he stroked the plushie’s fur. When you first gave it to him, the fawn had pure white fur, now it was mostly red because of him…

He put the fawn down. He needed to see you and maybe find a clue if you would accept his new interests. He knew voodoo was seen as a barbaric religion, but from what he read, it was just like any other one. He took his coat and asked his mother if she needed any more help which she declined. 

He walked toward your home but your mother told him you were having your period and this one was particularly painful. He blinked. Didn’t you have your period earlier this month? He remembered the first time you had your period he didn’t understand. You were bleeding but weren’t injured. He almost had a panic attack when you were shouting at him, telling him to leave you alone. You didn’t deserve this pain. When he asked his mother about it, she explained what menstruation was about. He really was impressed by women.

But if you were having your period, again, he wouldn’t bother you. He slid a chocolate bar under your bedroom’s door after you told him you were going to rest today. He could hear the lie in your voice but when you were on your period you would always lie by telling him you were feeling better, or that you weren’t hungry.

He decided to take a relaxing walk but after a while, he could feel someone was trying to follow him. Well, he couldn’t do what he wanted to do today… He went into a coffee shop, some boys from school came to him but he didn’t care about them, he was trying to find his mysterious stalker. He couldn’t feel any murderous aura in their stare but that didn’t mean they weren’t dangerous.  

When he left the coffee shop, he waited in an alley and smirked when he found the person who had been following him all afternoon.

“ May I know why you are following me, my goodfella?”

He had a knife in his pocket, he really didn’t want to use it but maybe, in front of him, was your stalker. He needed more information but the person ran away. Alastor scoffed, the only person who could outrun him was you. He ran after the stalker but then realized.

He couldn't catch them.

Was he running after you? He biforked into another alley, running toward your home. If you weren’t in bed, that would mean that you were the one who had been following all afternoon. But why?

He entered your home by slamming the door, startling your mother but he kept running until he heard your voice in pain. He opened your door and there you were, in your bed sweating although the windows were wide open. He went to close it and stared at the tree near the opening. Did you use a tree to leave your room? He could see some dirt on the edge of your windows. So you were following him all afternoon…

“ Well my dear, I was chasing what I think could be your stalker.” you stared at him with wide eyes. “But what was worrisome was that when I chased them, they ran into your house’s direction. You haven’t seen anything suspicious my friend ?” he stared at you with his usual smile. You shook your head but he could see you were lying. He didn’t say anything, you were surely trying to find a present for his birthday. But why did you feel the need to lie to him? He kissed your forehead before leaving you alone, he didn’t like it when you were lying to him, no matter the subject.

He went back home and began to read the Voodoo’s book while taking notes in his journal. He didn’t know why but all the information about some rituals were sticking in his mind effortlessly. 

It was so interesting, he really hoped you would understand him.

—

He was talking with your mother, with some sweets he had made with his mom. He knew you always wanted chocolate when you were on your period, if you really were on your period right now, so he would just make some. Sometimes he would prank you by putting some spice in the chocolate and it was always a hilarious sight when you realized what he had done. 

Your mother had told him you went out with Alice and you should be back soon enough. He didn’t mind talking with your mother, she would tell him cute stories about you before you came settling in New Orleans. But as the stories were being told, he was getting more and more agitated. 

You were still outside with Alice as the weather was beginning to get more and more dangerous. He asked your mother if he could use the telephone which she agreed to. He called Alice’s house. Maybe you decided to sleep there because of the weather.

“ Yes, Alice speaking.”

“ Where is she?” he asked, he didn’t really cared for Alice, he needed to know you were okay.

“ Oh.. She.. She is with me of course, we were getting ready to sleep because of the weather!”

She was lying.

That meant that you weren’t with Alice. Where were you then?

“ Alice, if you cared about you pathetic life, you are going to tell me where my dearest friend is.” he spoke calmly, hiding his inner turmoils.

“ I… I can’t, she would hate me if I were to tell you…”

He was sure he was going to destroy the telephone from anger. He was sure it was about his birthday.

“ If it’s for my birthday, I know” he lied “ So where is she? The radio said there will be a snowstorm soon enough.”

Alice mumbled something before telling him the truth. You were in an unknown house, far from here, alone. He laughed nervously, asking for the address. Alice gave it to him and he hung up. He went to your mother, asking for your father’s car. She seemed surprised but when he said that you were alone in a house far from here, she gave him the key. If he was lucky, he would be able to arrive before the snowstorm hit.

He knew how to drive, he learned by himself in secret. He took the car and drove for about an hour , following Alice's instruction, until he saw a house. The snowstorm was already raging but he needed to see if you were okay. Didn’t you know there were crazy people who would break into a lady's house who was living alone?

He walked toward the house, trying to see something. Fortunately for him he arrived near the door, but slid because of the ice and slammed against the door. Dang it. He tried to open the door but it was locked. Good, you weren’t that naive yet. He stepped back and looked at the roof. He needed to be careful because with the snow and the wind, he could fall but he could manage to enter by the window.

He climbed easily and then broke the window with his foot before entering the room. He heard your scream and ran toward you, were you hurt, did someone was with you? He only had the time to see you running through a backdoor.

Damn it.

He couldn’t let you run away, you were faster than him, he would lose you easily. He shouted your name as he ran after you. He could only see your shadow getting farer and farer from him. He felt his chest hurt at the thought of losing you here. He screamed your name, desperately. Please, just hear him…

He stopped himself as he felt ice under his foot. It seemed like a frozen lake. 

“ Stay away !” you shouted, the wind carrying your voice to him. “ I’m not afraid of killing you !” 

You were there, he could hear you so if he screamed, you would hear him too. He tried to take a step on the frozen lake but he could hear the cracks getting louder. He couldn’t risk taking another step.

“Look at me!”

He felt his body relaxed as he saw your frame getting closer to him before you disappeared.

You just fell down the lake.

You fell down the lake.

You fell down the lake.

You fell down the lake.

You fell down the lake.

He didn’t wait any longer and punched the ice with his bare hands, trying to widen the hole. He jumped into the water, not even caring about the cold. He opened his eyes and there you were, sinking peacefully away from him. He swam toward you, tugged you against him before swimming toward the surface but he couldn’t find the hole he came from. He punched the ice, trying to break it once more. He punched it again, one time, two times, and then his hand traversed the ice, breaking his skin. He was feeling his body trying to force him to open his mouth to catch some air.

Not yet.

He smashed the ice with his fists and lifted you out of the water, he didn’t care if he didn’t have air yet, he needed you to be safe first. He pushed you out of the water before getting his head out of it. He gasped as he grasped the edge of the ice, cutting himself once more. He lifted himself off the water and immediately went toward you.

“ No, no, open your eyes. Look at me!” He shook your shoulder but you stayed silent. He put his head against your chest. Your heart was still beating. He forced you to breathe by performing mouth to mouth. He looked at you as you coughed the water that was in your lungs. Now you need to get somewhere warm. He carried you and ran toward the cottage and thanks to some kind of miracle, he managed to find his way back through the snowstorm. He lit up the fire in the chimney and ran in the house, taking every blanket he could find. He undressed you until you were left in your undergarments. He put the blankets around you, he didn’t care about himself, your safety was his priority. 

He talked to you, begging you to open your eyes for thirty minutes. He kissed your lips, praying that you would just wake up. He looked at you as you pushed him, coughing. He closed his eyes, he was relieved but then anger began taking place in his body. You almost died tonight. You almost ran away from him, somewhere he couldn’t follow.

 “ What are you doing here..?”

“ Is that the first question you want to ask me ?” His voice was cold, his face was stoic, his usual smile non-existent. He was shaking with anger and fear. “ What were you thinking going out in a bloody snowstorm? Have you lost your mind ?” he stood up, raising his voice at you.

He didn’t understand why, but you were angry too. 

“ I was doing great before you came along! Why are you here?”

“ There is a bloody stalker after you and you decide to stay alone in a deserted area ? Tell me dear, are you trying to impress me with your stupidity because you succeeded.Congratulations.” he said mockingly as he sat on the sofa, trying to dry his hair with a towel, now that you were okay he needed to warm his body and the first step was drying his hair.

“ I was preparing your birthday, it was supposed to be a surprise !”

“ My birthday’s not worthwhile if you are not by my side!” he shouted, throwing the towel on the floor, his eyes shining with fury. He came to you and tugged you closer by grabbing the necklace he had given you on Christmas. “ What a charming surprise it would have been, finding your dead body in the snow ! Celebrating my birthday would mean celebrating your death? Oh, you really are spoiling me, my friend. You really are taking the cake!” he spat as he stared at you.  What were you thinking for heaven’s sake!

“ Don’t shout at me !”

“ Don’t play with your life then!” He took the knife you brought with you before running away from his wet pants.” What did you think you could have done with that? Would you stab a man my dear, tell me, would you do it?” he taunted you, mocked you, moving the knife in front of your eyes. “ Do you know how to kill, my dearest?” his voice was low, menacing, he wanted you to speak to him. Stop with the lies; speak what’s on your mind.

And then you cried while telling you would have stabbed someone, you would have killed someone so you could live longer with him. He hugged you as he felt his heart beat faster. Were you like him?  Maybe it was the perfect time for him to come clean…

After explaining what had happened he took off his shirt, and your eyes immediately fell upon his scars. You came toward him without hesitating, you always came to him no matter his state.. You were his… his everything. He wanted you to know that.

He softly took your hand in his and with a soft sigh, kissed the back of it. He kissed the back of your hand, once, twice.. before tugging you against him and kissing your lips avidly. He needed to feel you against him, you were alive, safely caged in his arms.

He laid you down on the floor as he kissed your neck, your cheeks, your lips. He couldn’t get enough of you. He felt like he was starving. You were panting, gripping his hair. Were you feeling like him? Like a starved monster? Did you feel the need to crawl inside him like he felt it with you? He wanted to molded into you. To become one with you.

After a few minutes, he stopped, panting against your chest. You were still gripping his hair. 

“ Don’t ever… Don’t ever do that again my dear…Don’t ever go somewhere I can’t find you...”

You hugged him, pressing his head against your warm chest. 

“ I promise.”

He sighed as you answered without messing a beat. Yes, he knew you would understand him. He could talk to you about him.. About his desires. But for now, you needed to rest. You laid him on the sofa and almost fell asleep immediately, but he couldn’t bear this image right now so he asked you to keep your eyes open for a little while. 

You tried so much to stay awake for his sake he couldn’t help but let you sleep. He didn’t sleep that night, he counted your breathing and your heartbeat. He counted them until you woke up the next morning as he was playing with your hair. 

You caressed his scars and then asked the questions he knew you would ask.

“ Who did this to you..?” 

Now, it was the time to show the monster he was inside. A monster that seemed to be tamed only for you but was craving to exist.

“ What is there to tell, dear? The man who owned the title of being my father had my mother pregnant, he wanted to be a perfect man so he married her.  It was a gamble that failed. I was born and he would beat me or my mother if we were acting a little too “ black” for him, with his belt, his fists, cold water and so many other things. He teached me how to hunt, how to kill, how to hurt… I know so many things that would make you run away from me, my dear friend…” he hugged you tighter, waiting for you to ask about the things that would make you run away but once more you surprised him.

“ I hope he dies during the war.”

He almost moaned at your sentence. He stared at your face, trying to see if there was something darker lurking inside you. It was a gamble he didn’t want to risk but… 

“ And if I told you I didn’t wish for him to be killed during war?”

He couldn’t help but grinned as you began to explain how he shouldn’t be sorry for his parents, that his father should get killed the worst way possible. You were perfect. He kissed you hungrily, your word of death against his father brought him such joy.

“ Aah.. Darling, you are…” he sighed in bliss as he dug his nails into your waist.” What if.. What if I told you I didn't want him to be killed because..” he stared at you a moment before speaking again.”  I want to be the one to kill him.”

You didn’t seem disgusted by the idea. Shocked, yes, but not screaming at him how it wasn’t a good idea. You seemed a little lost but weren’t against his idea.

“ Don’t see him as living being my dear, he isn’t worth the title. Think of it.. Like I’m going to hunt a dangerous animal that needs to be put down. I’m just like your ideal Prince charming , aren’t I? Killing dangerous people for his loved one?” He tilted his head with a soft smile, he remembered when you were younger you were bragging about the prince charming killing his enemies to save the princess, it was the same right now. 

“ How would you kill him?” you asked, curiously. 

Oh how he adored you. He kissed your face multiple times before going on about how he was going to kill his father. He's been thinking about it forever.

And then you told him you would be by his side if needed. He felt like he could cry and laugh at the same time. You were accepting him. Fully. You were accepting him, Alastor and the demon that was within himself. You were accepting them both.

“ Dearest, once I have killed my father,” you hummed while he took your hand in his. “ Would you marry me? ” he stared at you, waiting for your answer, caressing your trembling hand. 

His eyes were shaking but he kept his gaze on you, observing your reactions. 

“ Would you accept my mad affection?”

And you said yes. You were happy giving up on a normal life by chaining yourself to him. But he needed more, he was always greedy with you. He needed a bond that transcended human’s mind. So he talked about his discovery about voodoo and talked about soul bounding. 

You didn’t even wait to consider his offer, you accepted it once more.

You decided to damned yourself with him. 

You ran to the kitchen to take a knife to cut you, so you and him would be bonded together forever. Even death wouldn’t be able to tear you apart. He felt like he was flying, he was feeling so light. You would hurt yourself for him if it means staying with him. 

If he could, he would tear out his heart to give it to you. 

You were his.

His future wife.

His partner in crime.

You would be his happy ending.

—

“ Happy birthday Alastor!” 

He smiled as everyone cheered for him. There was you, sitting next to him, Alyzée, Mimzy, Alice, Victor and some extras at the table. He was now 23. How time flies. 

He was beaming as the attention was on him. He told everyone about his new job as a radio host which made you cheer the loudest. Of course his future wife would be the most delighted. He couldn’t wait to tell you his father was back home. 

Would you be excited? Nervous? Happy? Oh, he couldn’t wait to share the news with you.

At 3am you decided to go home, so he walked you back to your house. Before saying goodbye he kissed the back of your hand and shared that oh so delicious news.

You smiled widely at him before cupping his face and kissed him. He couldn’t help himself; he pinned you against the front door as he demanded you to open your mouth so he could devour you.

You were just as eager as him. His prey was coming back home.

You would soon be bound to him. 

He step back as he heard you panted his name. You were asking for his plan. You were asking about his plan to kill someone. He must be the luckiest man in all New Orleans, no doubt about it. He asked to come meet him in a week, he needed to see if his bastard had been changed by the war or not. Depending on that information, he would kill him differently.

He kissed your forehead before going back home with a smile so wide he almost didn’t recognize himself in a shop’s vitrine. How odd… He almost thought he saw his eyes reddened. 

He observed his father for a whole week. The bastard hasn't changed at all, he was just more full of himself than before the war. Perfect, he knew how he would kill him, he just needed to share it with you.

When you came to his house, he took you in his bedroom and gave you a hunting outfit, before tugging you toward the woods with two guns. You seemed confused about his hunting game but it was mostly because he wanted to catch you. A revenge for his younger self who hasn’t ever been able to catch you once you were running from him.

He explained the rules to you and you seemed excited by the game. Perfect. He waited 10 minutes after you entered the woods before going inside himself. He knew those woods like the back of his hand, he could see where you ran, where you began to walk… 

He walked toward the bushes where he could see the rifle he had given you. Were you hiding in the bushes? He waited a few seconds then smirked. He knew you couldn’t stay still for more than 3 minutes, that meant you had tried to bait him. He felt a shiver in his spine, you were playing the game like a champ! But he could hear your breathing behind the tree, right here.

“ Very intelligent darling, I almost fell for it.” He pointed his weapon toward your direction. “ But now, you are harmless.”

You step out from the tree, walking toward Alastor with a cute faked pout. He smirked, were you giving up?  But then you threw the paint’s bullet and smashed one on his weapon. 

“ Now, you are harmless too, right?” you taunted him as he stared at you with his eyes wide open. His smile was getting bigger and bigger, you were so…entrancing. He moved his hand to cup your cheek but you ran from him. Again..

But this time,unlike when he was younger, he could run as fast as you, he could run faster than you. His smile widened as he tackled you on the ground.  You were his favorite prey, a prey he would never kill but that he would always run after. Seeing your surprised expression was so worth it.

“ Caught you.” 

He had waited to say those words to you. He had caught you, he had trapped you with him. Through a wedding, through a voodoo curse. Your soul and his were tangled in a way that nobody could separate you.

“ Now, what about the plan?” you asked eagerly. He smirked. You were always the one asking first about the plan about killing his father, were you aware of that? After planning a plan, you asked the question he was dying to answer.

“ When will it happen ?”

“ Tonight, dearest.”

He was waiting for you to ask for more time, but you just nodded, ready to start your first sin together. 

He went back home with you, you were so nervous you decided to take a nap in his bedroom while holding Eamon. He went to check on you and approached your sleeping form. He looked at the fawn.

“ Protect her tonight.”

He went out to cut wood, thinking about all the possibilities that could happen tonight. He was so excited, were you feeling like him? He snapped back in reality when he heard Husker hissing at him. He stared at the cat who hissed at him before looking toward his home. Huh.. He went back inside and almost bit his lips until blood would drip. His father was standing too close to you, and from your expression, he must have said something that you didn’t like.

“ Father, are you ready for our hunting session?”  Alastor asked with his usual smile, observing your body relaxing at his voice. He took the rifle from the wall and put them on the table. He looked at you before going into the kitchen with his father. What was it called..? Tragic irony was it? His father was talking about the people he had killed during the war although he was going to get killed tonight. How funny.

He looked at you as you entered the kitchen. You weren’t wearing your necklace. Why? As he walked next to you to follow his father into the living room so he could take the weapon, you held his hand while showing him your neck.

Hah, You must have used your necklace to show him which one was the gun he should choose. How clever.

“ Are you coming boy, I don't have all night long!”

“ I know, Father.” You won’t be seeing the sun tomorrow.

He took his weapon with your necklace around it. It felt like you would be with him during his vengeance. How sweet.

He left his house to walk toward the woods with his father. One last hunting session. Two men. But only one hunter and one prey.

“ You really grew up, Alastor.” he turned his head toward his father as they kept walking deep into the forest. “ You’ve even found a little accomplice.” He kept his smile but furrowed his eyebrows. What was he talking about?

His father pointed his rifle toward nowhere and shot. Alastor froze. Why was his father’s weapon armed? He knew you would never betray him. So that meant, his father knew about his plan? How?

Before he could speak, his father hit him in the face with the back of his weapon. He didn’t know why but he felt like he was back at 8 years old, where he couldn’t do anything against his father. He was still alone. He let his father drag him into the woods. He was staring at the sky. 

“ Did you really think I wouldn’t check my gun, boy? You really should have gone to war, maybe you would learn some things or two.” he said as threw him on the floor. He looked at his father as he pointed the rifle against his forehead. Mhn, was he going to die here? No chance. He knew that he wasn’t alone anymore, you were waiting for him at home. So it was better for him to play the weak boy his father was seeing in him before turning the tables around. 

His father kept talking about how he was a disgrace. He was waiting for the perfect timing but then he saw movement. Damn it, if people were to see this scene, it would be annoyingly difficult to explain. He quickly looked on the side and froze.

It was you.

You were walking quietly toward his father with a knife in your hand, never letting your eyes drift away from the man's back. Now, what would you do? If you were to stab his father, he would pull the trigger and kill him on the spot. He wouldn’t be mad at you of course, but he didn’t wish to be killed by his father.

But once again, you surprised him by helding the blade against his father’s throat, taking away his father’s attention from him.

Then, everything went down quickly.

The bastard elbowed you on the nose, making you fall on the snow with a blessing nose. He almost snapped when he saw his father pointed his weapon toward you. He tackled him on the floor, wrestling him, trying to take the rifle back. He didn’t expect the war to help his father in being better at fighting, he thought the coward would hide himself under his camarades’s corpses.

His father kicked him off him, and was ready to shoot him but you jumped on the weapon, putting the rifle’s head toward the ground. Were you aware you were screaming?

“ Just die already !”

He felt your scream in his soul. You were screaming out loud what his younger self was thinking. He stood up once he saw his father punching you, but before he could shoot him, you raised your knife and sank it into his father’s tights. 

“ Don’t hurt him anymore!” you cried as you raised your knife once more and plugged it into his thighs once more.  

Don’t hurt us anymore. Said his younger self.

His father hit you with the rifle, making you fall into the snow once more. You stood up quickly and jumped on him, raising your knife once more. Alastor paled as he saw his father trying to headshot you, but you were so deep into bloodlust that you weren’t even aware of it. You both needed to calm down. Alastor ran toward you and tackled you on the ground, sighing in relief when he heard the gunshot hitting nobody.

Alastor stood up just before taking the knife of your hand. He would fight his father with your knife, from what he heard, his father was out of bullets, he already used two of them.

“ You little cunt. Stabbing me like you had the right.” spat his father. You stood up quickly next to Alastor who was breathing as hard as you. “ Killing you will be the easiest thing I've ever done. After fucking your mother, of course, right Alastor?”

He felt something snapped inside his mind.

He ran toward him, with a smile so wide he wondered if that was blood of saliva dripping down his chin. He avoided his father’s punches like a dance he had learned by heart. He still got touched by his fists but it was nothing he wasn’t used to. He managed to cut his father on his cheeks or his forearms. He needed to cut a tendon so he wouldn’t be able to move his muscles. He was breathing hard while his father seemed more in his element and the bastard easily disarmed him of his knife. Stupid war training.

He saw you behind his father with your necklace. That meant you have found his gun, you must have put it somewhere behind him so he could easily take it. He punched his father with much more force which sended him stumbling toward you. What were you trying to do?

He felt his heart skip a bit.

With the necklace he had given you for Christmas, you were strangling his father, forcing him to walk backward, trying to grab the thing that was bruising his neck. He needed to act fast. He began to punch his father in the face as you forced the bastard to bend his neck for him to be able to breathe. You were perfect.

With a roar, his father punched him so hard he fell backward. Fuck, he needed to stand up quickly before the bastard touched you. He looked behind him and smiled cunningly, his gun was there. You really did put the gun not too far away from him. You were just as clever as him.

He turned his head toward you when he heard you scream. He thought you were being hit but you were clawing at his father, biting him, trying to hurt him as much as he hard hurt his younger self. He took the rifle and pointed toward his father as the bastard threw you on the snow.

“ Don’t move, Father.”

But of course, the devil had his tricks too. He held you against his chest, his arms against your throat. Alastor grimaced as he saw his father kiss your cheeks. He will kill him. How dared he touch you? 

He will kill him, kill him, killhimkillhimkillhim

He was shaking from anger, he couldn’t let you die. He needed to find a plan quickly. The devil was beginning to strangle you from behind. He was ready to throw his weapon in the snow  but then you did something amazing.

You tore off one of the bastard’s eyes.

Those eyes who would look at him with disdain, disgusted, you tore one off. And you didn’t stop there, like a punishment coming from heaven you jumped on his father and began to hit him repeatedly with a rock you found. Alastor walked toward you as you kept screaming, he felt like you were doing what he couldn't do anymore. Letting it all out. 

You were beautiful. A vengeful spirit.

His father pushed you off but you were already getting ready to finish him so he stopped you with a hand against your shoulder. Would you recognize him in your blinding fury?

“ Alastor…” you said in relief. He stared at your bloodied face, you were absolutely beautiful. He couldn’t help himself, he kissed you tenderly, trying to send you his thanks through the kiss. The kiss tasted like blood.

The kiss tasted like a victorious future for the both of you.

“ You crazy bitch!” the man spat as he tried to stand up. Alastor walked calmly toward the man with his knife and his gun.  He stood in front of his father with a scary smile before dropping to his knees, and began to stab his father multiple times while laughing as the man was screaming in pain. He couldn’t stop laughing, he was careful not to sink the knife too deep, it would be a shame to kill him too quickly. Should he give his father the same scars he had given him? Should he cut his tongue so he couldn’t say such disgusting words against him or his mother?

He felt your hand on his shoulder and looked as you sat next to him. You were like a fallen angel, all bloodied, surrendered by bloodied snow. Were you aware of the effect you had on him right now?

Alastor held you the knife.

“ Would you like to try my darling?”

“ I tore his eye off, I think I’m good.” you laughed, rolling your eyes, not even caring about the man’s moans of pain.

“ Oh right, it was an amazing sight, why don’t you give it to me?” he held his palm to you and you gladly gave him his father’s eyes. “ What do we say, an eye for an eye?” he laughed as he stared at the eyeball. Maybe he will keep it as a souvenir.

“ You.. both are bat shit crazy..” spat his father underneath him. Alastor hummed before leaning toward his father’s face with a grin almost too big for his face. 

“ You should smile more, Father, you only die once after all!” he said as he began to carve a smile into his father’s skin.  The man was screaming from the pain and he couldn’t help but giggled. How pathetic, he didn’t remember screaming when his father was beating him. He felt strong like this, but as he was ready to finish his father off, he almost felt vulnerable. Would you stay with him as he kills his father?You were watching him as his worst, but that's what he was. You kissed his cheek, making him chuckle. Seems like yes, you knew what you were choosing. “ Now, you look ready for your final moments!” He stood up and took his rifle, pointing it to his father’s forehead.

“ What would your parents think, lady?” his father spat as he stared at you with his only eyes.

“ I don’t know what my parents are thinking, but Marie thanked me for taking care of the trash.” you smiled sweetly at him before standing up, next to Alastor. Alastor was staring at you, did his Mother know about his plan? 

 “ Go to hell.. Both of you…”

“ We’ll see you there then. And you better hide yourself, I can’t wait to kill you once more.” you smiled as you put your hand around Alastor's, the one ready to shoot. You stared softly at Alastor. You were his everything, you accepted to fall in hell with him. But just like he promised you, he will catch you.

“ Darling, will you marry me?”

“ With pleasure.”

And then you both pulled the trigger.

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[thecruellestmonth]

Juni Ba is holding a Reddit "Ask Me Anything" session on May 7 at 4 PM CEST (10 AM EST).

Some of his answers in his previous interviews about The Boy Wonder, a reimagining of Damian's story—

This is a standalone graphic novel (Black Label), meant to be accessible to readers with no prior comic knowledge. It is meant for ages 13+.

Damian is Ba's favorite Robin, and he finds him very relatable.

On Damian comic influences, Ba says Son of Batman and Super Sons were two of his favorite books.

Other than Damian, Talia and Jason are the characters that Ba has been most excited to work with.

Ba did the art for the "Happy Birthday Damian" story in Truth & Justice; while the art was a test run for some design ideas he's using in The Boy Wonder, the actual story isn't necessarily indicative of his own writing style or his version of the characters.

Ba is a big fan of Darwyn Cooke. Justice League: The New Frontier thematically inspired him here, possibly more than particular Batman comics.

Ba is aware of the racism discussion regarding the al Ghuls, and he intends to humanize them.

Ba started writing in 2020 or 2021, and the story is being released now after a period of waiting.

"This is very much I guess a Juni Ba book that happens to feature Batman characters."

To start us off, what can you tell us about the story of your new series, The Boy Wonder?

I usually introduce it to people by saying it's the story of a child with a lot of hang ups and preconceived ideas, both about himself and his family members. Over the course of this coming of age fairy tale he starts to learn about them, and himself, and grow into a better person. And it really leans into the fairy tale aspect to push the allegory and the magic in this story!

Why does Damian appeal to you so much as both an artist and a writer?

I find him both tragic and adorable. He and I share some things and I think that's why my brain started coming up with a story about him all by itself. Writing wise there's a fertile ground to tell a really heartfelt story. And art wise, he's such a fun character to draw. It's like a cute little gremlin who's always frowning and judging everyone, which can often backfire on him in funny ways.

How much does Damian's past with Talia and Ra's al Ghul influence Damian and this story?

A lot! They raised him after all, so that upbringing influences a lot of what he does. But that includes Batman too, even if his influence is more recent. There's a looming presence of all the parental figures and the pressure of what they'd have wanted you to do, how they would have judged you.

Since we were talking about Damian’s mother, there have been questions surrounding characterization and stuff, especially for characters like the Al’Ghuls, whose stories unfortunately do have a lot of racist elements in their origins. Are you doing anything to combat or alleviate those concerns in your book?

Stories often dehumanize them, so I try to do the opposite. I think I have a very character-driven style of storytelling, and a lot of the time I try to give the point of view of as many people as I can in the story.

There are five issues. Three of them have the Robins, and then eventually we get to my 2nd favourite team up, which is with Talia and it’s done from her perspective. The main goal was to try to give her more of a voice, because you start this story with a kid who tells you “My parents are messed up,” he was essentially raised to kill people, but we see how she was raised too, and the faults that she can see in her father’s philosophy.

Ra’s gets a bit of that as well later on, but the main goal was, I want to make it so that when you start the story with Damian, he has a lot of preconceived ideas about both sides of his family, which make his relationships to everyone very difficult. Every adventure he has, he gets to understand things in a different light by the end of every story, and one of them was, “What is his relationship to his mom like?” And you get to see it from the mom’s point of view and understand that she loves her son, but there are a lot of complications that come from being raised by someone like Ra’s.

Beyond that, this is an older Talia, more mature and less sexualized than the usual I’d say. As for Ra’s, I can’t say much, but a lot of what you see of him at first is rooted in Damian’s childlike, heightened, and scared perception. Just like the rest, it gets explored later.

It sounds like the book will see Damian coming to terms with his place in the Robin lineage. How does he feel about his brothers?

This Damian would probably say they're usurpers, ingrates, failures and profiteers! It's pretty hard being raised as the center of all the attention, as well as a successor who's never quite enough for his grandfather, and then when thrown into the Bat family, he becomes what feels like the fifth wheel. The last and least appreciated son. So his whole arc will be about processing that.

Is there a character other than Damian that you’re particularly excited to be writing and/or drawing?

Jason and Talia, by a lot. I think because the core of it is this is a world of people who seem very perfect. Damian works as this kid who feels like he’s not good enough for that. But aside from him, there’s Jason, who’s really a well-intentioned, good hearted person who really bad stuff happened to, and he’s struggling to get out of the traumatic impact of that. And I think the story works really well in showing that.

Talia is kind of the same. It’s someone who has a very idealistic view of the world and wants to essentially, be allowed to shape the world into what she thinks it could be, but she has to be under the boot of someone else who is not very reputable, and it has impacted a lot of her life in ways that she did not intend, including her relationship to her son and that’s also probably why those two characters also get like an issue told from their perspective. I really wanted to show you the inside of their mind and dispel a lot of the prejudice that Damian has about the way they are.

I really love the way you visualize Damian and the other Robins expressing themselves with their eyes. What design elements of the character were you most excited to highlight to help show readers what Damian was feeling in a given moment?

I do love using the eyes to express! It’s a very efficient and visually compelling way to do it, but more so than that I use character design. Their shapes, their colors, they all are designed to convey something relative to the story at hand. For example Jason takes cues from Taxi Driver and the general feeling of alienation and being a drifter. It’s all to give a shorthand into how he feels, to then unpack that and give it context. Everything is story basically. Damian looks like a cute angry potato! And that’s all because despite how abrasive he can be, he has to remain endearing and you must see that it’s still a kid learning.

Well, since this is your own thing, I assume that must mean that you’re giving your own spin on these characters. Is there anything without spoilers that you can tease that is going to be different? Like if you’re a long time reader going into this you’re going to be surprised by it.

I’m someone who really likes a more fairy tale and magical side to storytelling. Something that I added a bunch of, I mean, they talk about demons in the solicits of the first issue. It’s both an allegorical thing and a very, real thing that the magical aspects of certain parts of that world have been pushed more.

The other big thing for me was Damian is the heart of the story, so everything is seen from his point of view. So Batman looks a lot more like a dad. Talia looks a lot more like a mom, and with every one of the Robins, I try to take a core concept of every one of them and push it to the forefront to contrast it to Damian. So like, I would say that the more fun part of it would be observing how Damian interacts with what’s essentially kind of a mirror put to himself every time. But overall the idea is a sort of cartoon-making logic, of taking the general elements in various iterations of a character, synthesizing them for the story, into something recognizable but digestible.

The Boy Wonder has this beautiful visual style - fairy tale, as you just said - despite some strong moments of violence. Why did you choose to tell the story this way?

Fairy tales are great for allegory, larger than life concepts and leaning into the magical. There's also a story reason I can't spoil but it makes for a great framing device.

[...] There are narrative reasons in the book that I can’t spoil, but overall I’d say it’s because it’s my favorite format, as well as a great way to really lean into the larger than life aspect, the allegorical, the magical. Fables often contain a nugget of a message or meaning, and this is a coming of age story, so it fits rather well.

The Boy Wonder is as much about Damian as it is his brothers. Has that story not been told enough — how similar and different Bruce’s kids really are — and did you draw on your relationship with siblings at all?

Pretty much no one I talk to in the larger world ever even knows that there are multiple Robins, let alone read their stories. So I’m glad to be making a book that’s easy to access for new readers, with no prior knowledge needed, that appeals on its own and can tell them a cool story about family and overcoming pressure. A story that works both for the ones who know these characters and want a self contained tale, and the ones who know nothing and just want a fun comic to read. The comic is Black Label, which usually skews older, but this is a tale I wanted accessible from mid teens to as old as you want.

And I did pull from experience! I have two siblings, my best friends all do as well, and the inner workings of how you view yourself and your family members depending on where you fit is interesting to me. It’s very much a tale of reckoning with your assumptions about your family, as well as the impact your parents had on you and your siblings.

What about Damian Wayne is so interesting to you? Do you think he gets a bad rap even now in the grander DC Universe?

Damian is simultaneously the most insufferable and most touching little boy to me. There’s a mix of adorable and deadly that I find amusing to watch, and satisfying to write. Plus I sympathize with him on a few backstory elements which are the cornerstone of the whole story.

As for his reputation, I think I’m glad there’s a reminder that being coarse and ill mannered can hide a good heart.

What are some of the benefits of putting this out as a DC Black Label book?

Mostly freedom! I got to tell the story I wanted. I didn't have to worry about continuity, and thus made what I like making: a self-contained adventure that anyone can appreciate as a comic, with or without any prior exposure to that world. Plus we got to have fun with the design of the issues!

Do you have a favorite Damian-starring story that you drew on for this book? Or maybe another Bat Family story instead/as well?

I think my two favorites were Son of Batman and Super Sons. I just vibed a lot with the fun adventurous tone. But most of my inspiration comes from outside superhero comics, or even outside comics as a whole. I didn’t even reread those two books I mentioned aside from when I needed to check phrasing. In that case I read those, and the early Damian stories just to absorb how he spoke.

But outside superhero stuff, were there any influences that were working on you as you were writing this story?

So a lot of comics from the 60s and 70s, from France and Belgium.I have a thing for like 80s and 90s movies, including movies that I was not supposed to watch when I was a kid, so stuff that’s drama-oriented. The point of this book is, it’s basically a character study, mostly of Damian, but also Damian through his interactions with other people in his life. So, mostly the other Robins, but also his parents and more so his mother.

The events that happen are really just a setting for you to observe how the characters interact, and there’s a bunch of movies in the 80s that were really good at doing that and showing you a very flawed person and the way that they react to the world around them. So yeah, that’s more of a tone thing. The aesthetic aspect was really taken from 60s and 70s French and Belgian comics as well as very old sci-fi, fairy tales, and black and white photography.

What’s the process look like for you when you write and draw a comic?

Whoa. Let’s see. So the origin of every book is a little different, but usually I spend a year or two, maybe more just thinking about the story and putting ideas down and then once I have an idea of how every story step works into each other, I start storyboarding so there’s no script.

[...] I don’t write scripts because I prefer to have the storyboard of the thing already made, because that’s where I know if something is working or not. Then once the storyboard has been greenlit and all the corrections are done, the next step is drawing the final pages. I do the sketching on my tablet, and then I print that in blue lines and ink over that. It’s a recent thing, I started doing it the last few months. The Boy Wonder was made that way. [...]

[...] I mean, technically, I started writing it in 2020 or 2021. Yeah. I’ve been sitting on it for a while, and then I made a tweet about it and it got the attention of Chris Conroy, who basically runs Black Label. He just asked, like, “OK, sure. Show it to me. I want to see what that’s like.” Several months later, the book was greenlit by DC.

You talked about how Batman: The Animated Series is an inspiration for this. And also because it’s Damian, I assume that the Grant Morrison Batman stuff is also an inspiration in some ways. But what other Batman material were you inspired by, if any, when writing this book?

Well, I wasn’t so much using Batman as I was using other things. Like there’s a bunch of influences from a bunch of different places, but the superhero stuff was mostly influenced by Darwyn Cooke. So it wasn’t so much Batman as much as it was Cooke. Like the thought process I guess was, “What do I like about these characters? Like the concept of the superhero?” Because the idea came from me watching a documentary about The Dark Knight Returns and Frank Miller. They mentioned how he was given free reign to make the Batman book he wanted. I just had the thought of, “Yeah, that would be fun, having a superhero story where you can just do whatever you want. Like, it’s your personal take.”

I guess from then, my brain started imagining a story with Damian because he’s my favourite Robin and I have a lot in common with him in terms of his backstory. I think it was this sense of sympathy towards the kid and the story grew from wanting to talk about the feeling of “You’re not good enough to be a part of the group you’re in or the family you’re in.” So being a superhero was more of an allegory of, “I don’t feel good enough to be a part of those great people who seem so perfect.”

Then the Darwyn Cooke stuff came. He was probably the biggest superheroic influence, because he’s kind of the epitome of superhero storytelling to me. He makes all his stories very easy to understand, very accessible to someone who maybe has never opened or barely knows what that character is about. His storytelling is also strong on its own artistic terms and most of all, he has this great sense of making superheroes this idea of the ideal version of ourselves, like those people who, even if they have bad thoughts or flaws that they have to overcome, they always do the right thing and they represent the best in all of us, and there’s a sort of sense of joyful fun in the superhero stories that he does. He also can talk about very serious subjects through that at the same time. My favourite superhero comic is The New Frontier, and I kept reading it over and over again when I was rewriting the book just to look at how he was managing that balance of joyful, superheroic, and inspirational fun, and the more serious themes. So yeah, the biggest influence would probably be him.

When I was doing research for this, I noticed that this isn’t your first time with a Damian comic. It was the “Happy Birthday Damian” story for Truth and Justice. Even over there, there’s a lot of similarities in terms of the character design, and even to some degree, Damian’s own struggle with his family and all that. So did that story help inform or define where you wanted to go with the characters for this book?

Well, no actually because basically when they asked me to do that story, the way it happened was that I was originally approached for something else, and I said, “I don’t really want to do that, but I’ve been writing this Damian story just for myself. Would you like to take a look?” Truth and Justice was kind of a test like, “We already have this story written by Andrew Aydin, and the idea was, do you want to draw it? It’s kind of a test run.” So I just used the designs I had already made for my own book. The fact that the themes are very similar is kind of a coincidence and it was kind of funny actually. It was a good way to sort of try my hand at drawing these for the first time, get a sense of what works and what doesn’t. I would say my story is a lot more complex, and delves a lot more into the psychology of most of the characters.

This book is an anthology like you said, where it’s about Damian with all these characters. But in terms of the structure of the story, is there like a connection beyond that, like Monkey Meat is all about the corporation. So is there a connection like that in this story?

Yes. It’s a narrative cut into different, contained stories, basically. Because the idea is that Damian is on a quest to try and prove his worth by defeating an enemy, and it’s really more of a set up to allow for him to meet all the different characters that he does. But the goal is that every story progresses that main plot that he’s on and getting closer to the final showdown against the big enemy.

The whole point is this kid needs to grow up and understand the familial context that he was born into on both sides, like a lot of it is him learning how complicated his parents are, and the effect that they’ve had on the people around them and learning to move beyond the trauma and the more negative impact of being the son of a guy who dresses like a bat, or the descendant of a selfish egomaniac. The big plot of the thing is a young boy wants to prove his worth and every story is a step on that journey towards the final end.

For Damian, you said he’s your favourite Robin. You relate to him a lot, but was there anything beyond that that made you want to sit back and think, “Okay, this is the character that I want to give my own spin on?”

I love the concept of Robin. When I was a kid, that was probably the thing that I liked the most about the Batman world. The reason why Damian worked so well is that it was such a perfect way to also tackle the previous ones, so every one of them represents some aspect of what being a Robin is like, and you can use that as an allegory for being part of a group or family with a code and stuff. You can talk about being part of a group with specific ideas of how you should behave, what kind of things you should uphold as good.

Damian’s the runt of the family. He’s the kid who just showed up. He doesn’t really know these people. He has a lot of preconceived ideas and it was a good way for me to be able to also talk about the previous Robins through him. It’s not a meta commentary, it’s more like, “Why do you like these concepts? What speaks to you as a person when you watch those beacons of goodness do things?” Damian is kind of like the audience surrogate in discovering that aspect of things at the same time.

What’s Damian’s favourite sandwich?

Well, I’m going to try and focus on my version of Damian from The Boy Wonder specifically. That Damian, his favourite sandwich would probably be something made by the mystical creatures that serve his grandfather, who take care of the whole land that they live in. So it’ll probably be a sandwich made with vegetables and meat from supernatural sources, something that he would not be able to get in Gotham because no one even knows that this stuff exists.

I like the idea of how even his favourite food is inaccessible in the new place that he’s in, furthering the whole alienation that he’s experiencing.

If Damian had a favorite song, what would it be and why?

I’m now going to show my age and mention how my teen sister listens to these moody chill songs that sound like the softer version of the emo rock I listened to as a teen, so I’d say that style! (Don’t ask me to name them, I don’t know!)

A song from my angst phase? “Numb” by Linkin Park.

#The Boy Wonder #Boy Wonder #Damian Wayne #Talia al Ghul #Talia #DC Robin #Robin DC #Ras al Ghul #Ra's al Ghul #Senegalese artist #Juni Ba #Darwyn Cooke #Jason Todd #Nightwing #Dick Grayson #Batman and Robin #Batman comics #DC Black Label #[sigh] #Batboys

[pixelheartthrob]

In Defense of Princess Elise.

When I first got heavily into the Sonic franchise in 2020, I had already heard of how bad 06 was and that Elise was the worst part of it. While 06 isn't a great game by any means, Elise is definitely not the biggest problem. The fandom made me believe that she was a selfish, necrophiliac psychopath who liked doing...inappropriate things to animals and didn't care about her people. Once I played the game, however, I saw that this is the complete opposite of how she is. The fandom and the entire internet (because the hatred people have for Elise extends far beyond the fanbase) lied about this character and everyone played along with it for decades.

She had a small arc where Sonic taught her to open up, enjoy life, and made her feel genuine happiness for the first time since her father died. I thought it was a sweet and simple arc, and compared to how headache-inducing the time travel stuff can be, I prefer the simplicity of Elise's story. A lot of people blame Elise herself for getting kidnapped but it's not really the character's fault, it's the contrived plots fault. It's common for fan rewrites to try and fix this by changing Elise into a fighter, but that's not really "fixing" that's more like replacing. Elise just isn't a fighter. It reminds me of people saying Elise would be better if she was an anthro character, but her being human isn't a problem. It's just the art direction that needs improving. I actually think Elise being human is one of the things that makes her unique (and her status as Sonic's human love interest is what she's most well known for, so if Sega was to remake 06 and she suddenly showed up as an entirely different species, it'd be a bit jarring lol). You can also considerably lower the number of contrived kidnappings without changing Elise into something she's not. Elise's story and character are more emotion-driven than action-driven, so there are other ways she can be strong. She's already a strong character in an emotional sense. In fact, she's the most emotionally strong character in the series.

For example, I think the moment where Elise blows out the flame is one of the most powerful moments in the franchise. People give her a lot of crap for her breakdown, mostly her "I don't care what happens to the world!" line. This line gets blown out of proportion by a lot of Sonic fans and gamers in general because they aren't very observant and take everything at face value. People call Elise "selfish" for this outburst but just put yourself in her shoes. Imagine if you had to give up the only friend you've ever had ‐ the only person who made you feel genuine happiness in years. All the moments you spent together would be erased from your memory. I don't think most people would be able to make such a sacrifice. Get off her back, guys. She's not selfish. Everyone has had moments where they got upset at how unfair the world is. She obviously didn't mean it, because she regained her composure when remembering Sonic's words and blew out the flame shortly afterwards. People also claim she's being dramatic and crying over someone she's known for a few days, but they conveniently forget that Sonic was literally her only friend and the only one she felt happiness around since the death of her parents. It's understandable that she'd get attached. The fact that Elise blew out the flame and put the world's needs above her own despite all she's been through and despite knowing that she'll lose her only friend shows how selfless she is. She does care about the world.

So, how would one fix Elise without completely altering her character? It's simple, really. Just give her more screentime. Maybe explore how she feels about her parents (especially her father) and explore how she coped with their deaths. The "not crying for 10 years" thing is the only problem people seem to have with Elise's backstory, but I think there's an easy fix for this, too.

In the scene where Sonic is killed, we see a glimpse of Elise remembering her father's words. At first I wondered what this flashback was showing, but I think this is meant to show Elise's reaction to the news of her father's death. As we can see, she's not crying, but is gently clutching the blue chaos emerald and seems to be in a trance-like state. My idea is that maybe the energy of the chaos emerald regulates her emotions and she carries it around for comfort. It could also help her cope by detaching from the situation or reality altogether.

We can see her clutching the emerald during the first cutscene at the festival when Eggman threatens to take it from her, too. She is understandably reluctant to hand the emerald over because it was given to her as a charm to ease the pain of her father's death, so she holds it dearly. She probably had the emerald in this cutscene as emotional support just in case anything went wrong during the festival because other than that, I can't think of a reason for her to be carrying it. There are also moments where she blanks out or has hallucinations.

So that's my idea as to how Elise went for so long without crying. Elise is a decent character that just needed more screentime, not a complete character overhaul like people say. In my proposed fixes, I didn't make many drastic changes or remove anything from Elise's character or backstory, I just added to it. The main problem is that Elise was underwritten, not badly written, as there were things that should've been explored more regarding her backstory and her parents. I'd like to mention what I said at the start about people portraying her as a creep whose into necrophilia and beastiality, mainly because of her kissing Sonic. People really overreact to the kiss scene as if it's a scandalous moment that Sega tried to sneak into a kids game, but it's...really not. It's clearly meant to be reminiscent of a fairytale and the kiss was obscured by a light. It's quite literally the most tame thing in the universe. Plus, Sonic's spirit was present during the kiss and the first thing he does upon being revived is thank Elise. It's also not beatiality because Sonic isn't a literal hedgehog. He's an anthropomorphic cartoon character that's able to walk, talk, and think like humans do.

Just like how people will portray Elise as a creep, they'll portray Sonic as being disturbed by her very presence or Amy wanting to kill Elise because she "stole her man". This obviously contradicts everything in the actual game because Sonic is shown to enjoy Elise's company and Amy has a lot of respect for Elise. It's very misogynistic to think that just because two female characters have a crush on the same guy, they have to be at eachothers throats. It's also strange because Sonic fans will throw huge fits when the characters are written poorly, out of character, or flanderized, but that's exactly what they're doing to the characters when they make stuff like this. Writing Amy to be hateful and violent towards Elise in a fanfic just turns Amy into the crazy, overprotective, Sonic stalker that fans hate to see people accuse her of being. If Sonic was to act like a jerk towards any of his other friends, fans would consider that out of character, so why is it okay when fans portray him as acting like that towards Elise - someone he is shown to appreciate and consider a friend? I guess it's okay to wildly misrepresent a character, but only when it's directed at or about another character that you don't like. This fandom makes no sense.

#sonic 06 #princess elise #sonic the hedgehog #sonic series #Elise deserved better #amy rose #sega

[unorthodoxdeity]

FUCKIN BATHOUSE AU LOREDUMP

Okay so Sebastian was still born a demon in a family of demons. In this AU Hell is very vast and has a lot of different sections, some sections being rather touristy or heavily enjoyed by locals. Sebastian's family has a bathhouse that's been passed down for generations that gets a variety of guests from Hell and beyond. They also serve homegrown tea and food.

Sebastian has two sisters in this au one older and one younger. The younger one is named Sakura because she liked the flower and wanted an S name for her human name just like Sebastian. She really looks up to Sebastian as her cool big brother and wants to be just like him. Sebastian's older sister is named Misa I might change this I just named her after misa from deathnote but ermmmm.

Misa is the one thats set to inherit the bathouse next so from the get go she's had a lot of weight placed on her shoulders. She's always been pressured throughout her life to live up to the standards cultivated over thousands of years from both her family and the pressure to carry on traditions. In her earlier years this caused her to rebel and start getting up to normal petty crime type teenage shit you would expect. She got involved with a lot of the wrong crowds to cope and got even more weight pushed on her from her family because of it. Eventually she just learned to suck it up to carry on the family traditions because they're very important to her but she can't help but resent Sebastian for being able to be as free as he is. Sebastian acts like a bit of a dumbass in this au so she's naturally like what the fuck why wasn't I ever tossed a bone nobody ever cut me any slack yet my younger brother can run amock around humans without so much as a slap on the wrist. She tries her best to be a good sister to Sakura and despite her resentment of Sebastian she does love him even if they fight.

Their father really isn't in the picture in this Au. He died a while ago and nobody really discusses it unless its those 2am sorts of conversations where you're looking at the stars. They do have a mother though.

Their mother has always been the harsh type because she wants them to live up to a certain standard. She does love them and has always done her best to try and build them up to be strong but at the same time the pressure she puts on her children especially after the death of their father causes a lot of tension in the household. Misa has all of the pressure of being the older sibling, Sebastian needs to learn how to mature and stop being a fucking idiot around humans for once and step up to join the "real world" to try and fill the hole his father left, Sakura has to deal with her siblings fighting constantly and never reslly gets paid attention to with all the drama that goes on.

In retaliation Sakura will pull a bunch of pranks and in general be loud and reckless in hopes of getting attention but also partially to mimic Sebastian. Like Sebastian is not a total himbo dumbass in this au he moreso thinks with his heart instead of his brain which is especially weird in their culture but that combined with the slight isolation causes Sakura to be a lot more sensitive than most demons which in turn makes it hard to make friends.

Sakuras favorite job is running the baths beforehand because she likes the way it smells and how warm it gets. Misa likes to cook if her mother isn't already and Sebastian likes to cultivate and prepare the tea. Sebastian gets like real big into it too and starts cross breeding strains of tea and throwing different things into the soil to get the chemistry just right. The effort pays off too. I think as Sebastian "matures" kind of and starts controlling himself a bit more he actually starts to act a bit like Tanaka.

Speaking of Tanaka in this Au all of the servants are dead. It's the modern era. The servants reside in the afterlife but neither Ciel nor Sebastian are able to track them down. Sebastian nearly died performing a ritual that was way above his skill level transforming Ciel into a partial demon. Ciel's lifespan will be lengthened significantly but Ciel cannot shift and morph his form like a full demon could which leads to him being a bit ostracized.

When Sebastian's mother found out he did this she was pissed. Her son literally almost died because he fell in love with his food. They had a big fight but it eventually settled down to where Sebastian could introduce Ciel to his family.

Sakura LOVES Ciel. She's so curious about the human world, she heard all the stories from her family's travels and wants to go up there so bad it's like the forbidden fruit. Misa is initially angry at Ciel because she's angry at Sebastian but her and Ciel are actually so similar personality wise and relate to each other's childhood pressure they become homies.

Sebastian's mother is WEARY of Ciel. To her Ciel is a human gone wrong that will just ruin things for everyone. She does not like Ciel. Ciel has to WORK for her trust. He starts learning their language, helps out around the house, spends more time with the family, ect. and with time she actually comes to like Ciel. She likes his maturity, his drive, the way he can buckle down even when he doesn't like to do so, how cool he can stay even when emotions are tugging at him. She sees him as a wonderful friend and influence for Sebastian. Once she sees how Ciel gets along with Sakura and Misa she starts to see him as a good friend for the family in general and eventually one of them.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #sebastian michaelis #ciel phamtonhive #bathhouse au #this was so poorly written i just had to dump #i hope you all get the vibes #i want to do a lot more thorough research into bathhouses and how they function #and read stories from people who actually have had big things like a family operation thrust upon them #this is just the seed #their father was killed by humans me thinks #a long long time ago #even misa was little when that happened

[pain-is-too-tired]

One thing I like to hc with the Apollo Head Counselors is that they all represent a time of which the sun is out.

Lee - Dawn/Dusk

Mainly dusk, but pretty much imagine him in browns, oranges , dusky yellows and reds and the like.

Michael - Twilight

Starts after the fall of Dusk,short lived. Haralds the start of darkness and but also first light when it falls. The darkess time in which the sun is out. I see him muted/ dark blues,dull browns and blacks. Maybe a touch of greyish pale yellows.

Will - Daylight

Longest lived, bright, it's what most people think about when they think of the sun. With his golden sun kissed hair and sky blue eyes its pretty on the nose. I see him in bright/light yellows and blues.

Idk why I thought of posting this, I just love them and wanted to share my thoughts.

Think it is pretty obvious how I tend to draw them, but it's fun to write it out ^^

#mine #pain rambles #pjo fandom #pjo hcs #pjo hc #apollo cabin #cabin 7 #cabin 7 hcs #apollo cabin hcs #lee fletcher #pjo lee #micheal yew #pjo michael #will solace #pjo will #will solace headcanon #will hc #pjo headcanon #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #i just love them your honor #rick I'm so mad we got nothing about them in toa #you're telling me that one of the most family oriented gods didn't even think about the multitude children he lost in the Titan War ONCE #THE FIRST TIME HE WAS HUMAN WAS BECAUSE ZEUS KILLED ONE OF HIS KIDS #LIKE IT BE VERY REASONABLE FOR PART OF THE REASON HE WAS GETTING ON ZEUS' BAD SIDE WAS CAUSE HE WAS IN GRIEF AND NOT WATCHING HIS TONGUE #but no #we got his exes angst only #goodness sake would've loved to see him be the most nervous wreck of a dad because now he is living with HUMAN FATHER GRIEF #i'll stop now

[spocks-kaathyra]

"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that

#joking but like. am I wrong though #yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell #except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem #I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning. #and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me. #I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it #this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think #mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction #but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face #anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops #also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend?? #well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie #really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level #mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child #but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful #oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships #ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS #literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them #there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine #guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry #narcissus's echoes #vent

[cienie-isengardu]

I find it hilarious the Grandmaster probably banging Sektor's head on the wall about how loyalty is important and how Lin Kuei principals are absolute since he was baby and he didn't see Sektor might develop a tinge of independence to realize he didn't have to be told what to do once he's in a superior body. I feel like Sektor was kind of just waiting for a chance to seize power from his father and the Cyber Initiative gave him an opening and I feel his programming somewhat deteriorating was actually just Sektor's personality resurfacing above protocol and seeing that his father was no longer necessary.

I feel Sektor was honestly probably waiting for his father to die in the back of his mind prior(maybe he thought the guy would just die of old age or something) but when the Cyber Initiative was in motion and he got converted, this thought came back and eventually it just kind of weakened the loyalty protocols to where Sektor's desire to rule overrode his father's authority and he didn't feel like waiting for him to expire on his own.

The major reason why I have so hard time buying the whole human Sektor's desire to replace his father from MK9’s BIO is that the story mode, alongside other sources, doesn’t give me anything suggesting he was that ambitious or cunning to begin with and even less to think he was the designated heir. Quite the opposite, from the all named Lin Kuei characters from the same game, he is the most obedient one, the most willing to put Grandmaster’s wish over his own well-being and (at least visually wise) easily dominated by the presence of his fellow clan members. When Bi-Han is shown with Cyrax and Sektor, he takes the central place within their little group. When he is out of the picture, Cyrax openly questions Grandmaster’s vision of cyber Lin Kuei while Sektor is on the defensive, as he has no real argument to add to the discussion and Cyrax clearly doesn’t treat him as his superior, especially when Sektor confronted him about not killing Johnny Cage. 

It may be just me, but the human Sektor lacks the initiative that is characteristic for his cyber version. Similarly, for a supposed heir he feels so… subdued and withdrawn, not to mention his father sent him on a very dangerous mission in which the chance of dying was very high. Sub-Zero’s BIO from Deadly Alliance summed Kuai Liang’s choice to aid Raiden in his quest against new threat as “It was highly unusual for the Grand Master to embark on such a dangerous mission” and I think it wouldn’t be too far-stretched to assume Lin Kuei had a similar approach to the Grandmaster’s designed heir.

Sektor is a grown up man in MK9, if he was meant to replace his father at some point, I imagine he would be trained from birth for this duty. However, all the BIO says is that he had no choice about being Lin Kuei, but there is no information he was designed to be next Grandmaster. For all we know, the Grandmaster could have more children than Sektor and even if the man was considered as a potential candidate, sending him to the Mortal Kombat Tournament seems like too much risk - if he died, literal decades of proper education for the leadership would be wasted, wouldn’t it? 

My point is, I don’t think Sektor was seen by his father as the future leader of Lin Kuei - or anything more than an useful pawn, so I can understand that Grandmaster has never considered him a threat nor questioned his loyalty. Especially after automation, as C.I. Project was supposed to perfect the human warriors, not grand them better understanding of trauma and abuse they endured for Lin Kuei's benefit.

Frankly, maybe the fact that his son was so obedient and lacked initiative was the reason why he allowed Sektor to volunteer for C.I. Project - additional sources like Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms adds a lot to that feeling of my, as Grandmaster’s explanation - complaint - about human weakness seemed to be solely directed at Sektor, the only cyborg fully presented during the speech: “The mortal body is fragile, weak. So, we enhanced them.”

Maybe you are right and Sektor waited for a chance to seize control and C.I. Project provided it - and the BIO indeed tells the truth that his “ultimate goal is to supplant his father as Grand Master of the Lin Kuei”. However I personally think it was not human Sektor’s desire for power nor personal ambitions that corrupted his programming, as he has never been shown trying to enlist Bi-Han or Cyrax for his planned coup. I think the problem lies in the fact that Grandmaster removed the “flaw” that kept Sektor in check, be it out of love or fear of his father. And once the flaw was subdued, Cyber Sektor could clearly see for the first time that his father is the danger he needed to remove to ensure his own safety, but also Cyber Lin Kuei’s independence. Because this is what you get when you remove humanity from a ruthless killer - no loyalty, no mercy. 

And yes, indeed, there is something hilariously ironic about Grandmaster's blindness to the danger of the C.I. Project and perfecting his own son that already dedicated all his life to him and the clan.

#mortal kombat #my replies #sektor #cyber sektor #sektor's bio and what we get in story mode feels like presenting two different people to me #not saying sektor couldn't dream to kill his father #but i feel like human sektor was too deep into the obedience above anything else to even consider that thought #while the cyber version could see the father was nothing good for him and as a smart & logical thinking machine he decided to eliminate #the threat at the first occassion #i think sektor feelings (actions) toward father are the same good source about his mentality as sektor's approach to cyrax #there is plently to unpack here #and i really i rather trust story mode than a bio in case of sektor

[daisies-on-a-cup]

killer!will au where every dog in his pack represents a person he has killed and slowly but surely it expands every year and people just see him as this like crazy dog hoarder but he takes such good care of the animals and he definitely has the space/property to ensure they get proper exercise and he names them and calls after them all so lovingly that no one reports him or thinks anything more of it other than he constantly smells like dog hair until the day he is put into hannibal lecter's vicinity and the scent of blood, fresh organs, and viscera are so clearly stained into will's being that hannibal can't help but take particular notice

when asked about that particular scent about him, will tonelessly says he feeds his dogs a completely raw and fresh diet, sourced locally of course. it adds a certain shine to their coats, don't you think, dr.lecter?

hannibal can only smile and offer his own butcher's selection of meats should will ever need more to feed his ever-growing pack

#will graham #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #killer!will #idk this suddenly came to me and i think it would be a really fun way to explore exactly how much of each person will carries with him #hobbs stayed with him for years- so so long and he tried to father his orphaned daughter the impression was so strong #naming the strays he picks up after the people he's killed keeps them in a certain circle with will... he can take care of them and control #them at the same time- their well being depends entirely upon him and him alone and there's a certain pride #in maintaining what's yours isn't there? #would be a great little tidbit to how easily will's dogs ate the offered pieces of mason's face- they are already familiar with the #taste of human flesh

[an-absolute-nightmare]

me: india is not secular anymore it's turning into a hindu nationalist country :(

my so called liberal and open minded parents: india is not secular anymore it's turning into a hindu nationalist country :D:D:D:D:D

#i fucking hateeee the propaganda machine here man i just hate it #i hatr that my so called critical thinking father is falling prey to it #also like @ the people who have a problem with pakistan dedicating their victory in world cup to gaza. #let's do a thought experiment. #imagine some hindu terrorist organisation in fiji killed a bunch of people in the fijian government #and the fiji government decided to kill 5000 hindus over it. #what will you do then? what will you fucking do??? #i sure as fuck hope you'll condemn any indian cricketers who bring up the atrocious violence these hindus have suffered #because it's not their place to talk about politics!! their number one focus should be cricket!!!!!!! #fuck what the fuck i hate this country #can we treat muslims like human beings for five fucking seconds #if i said any of this shit out loud they'll call me a leftie and woke and a prey to muslim propaganda #i will literally just ask people not to hate all muslims for the crimes of a few #and they'll act as if i'm some radical caste traitor who is calling for the extermination of hindus #fuck this stupid right wing country

[maegalkarven]

Also thinking about Nemo being Abdel Adrian Reborn and having feelings(bad) about it.

Bhaal claiming his son and dragging him back into the fold. Creating him anew from his dead flesh and pure unholy essence. Same soul, stripped of any remembrance of who it once was.

Not allowed to go out into the big world or raised anywhere but the temple because see how it worked last time? No, this time his prodigal son will do as intended. This time he will be perfect.

Giving him the name what means "Nothing", making sure he IS nothing but Bhaal's most loyal follower and servant.

And then Gortash appears, then Orin coups; and the cord snaps.

#don't mind me just thinking about how bhaal reused sarevok like its nothing #pulled him out of death to serve again #LIKE ITS NOTHING #no Bhaalspawn is ever truly free not even in death #especially not in death #for in death they return to bhaal #bg3 spoilers #dark urge: nemo #and obv nemo is not abdel #but he WAS abdel. in another life. in another time #he is a ghost of abdel #he has knowledge he could have no means of having #skills what have no sense #habits and twitches what carried through #abdel adrian is dead and his corpse if walking around killing in Father's name #jaheira and ulder catching enought familiar gestures phrases quirks etc and having double mannerism #because what has he done with you our dear friend??? what did your father do??? #abdel is not canonical version in this bc i believe in the power of keeping protagonist of b1&2 as YOU olayed them #so he wasn't human or a fighter #but an elven bard a charismatic goody-two shoes #and if you squint...nemo even resembles him a lil #nemo still has his past lost to him only it's the past of his life before bhaal remade him #he never recovers that #bc abdel adrian is dead. there's no Abdel Adrian no more #only nemo #dark urge #bg3 durge #durge spoilers #aneurism* not mannerism. autocorrect the fuck

[canary-prince]

If you catch me posting Bible memes I'm not turning into a Christian or whatever the fuck I was before my intense spiritual crisis 2 years ago (or was it three)? I went to school for academic theological studies (analysis of religion from an exterior view point) and recent books have me nostalgic and hyperfixating.

#if anything grief turned me back into atheist #ive been a few things #my dad was raised catholic but is a staunch atheist #and mom was sort of Pentecostal and sort of methodist and is a like #soft atheist who definitely believes in ghosts and curses and shit #and i was an atheist for a long time but i felt drawn to Catholicism #it felt like a culture idk #and then it got more and more comforting to non commitally hover at its edges through witchcraft and loose modern spiritual stuff #and perform mental gymnastics about it and mostly believe large swaths of its mythology without thinking about the moral and human side and #also not converting because i couldn’t face my parents if i did and i also was already aware that i couldn’t #but i kept convincing myself that The Church as an institution could somehow be good despite how evil everyone running it is #and then my education finally got the upper hand over my weird desperate longing to fully believe in something beautiful and nearly ancient #and also my father had repeated lies he didn’t know enough to spot #my education finally made me understand that The Church was only >1000 years old #that the gnostics (originally a jewish tradition according to bart d erhman and he referenced this as being commonly accepted) #were the group which the supposed messiah belonged to and the patristic church (catholic church 1.0) had them all killed #unarmed ascetics starving in the desert the people who wrote the earliest gospels and the church killed them all #there is no textual basis for the authority of the pope #the devil was a comprise #the saints were a marketing tactic #correction: the church is sort over a thousand years old but it went through so many iterations and eras before we got here #to be exact #the church FATHERS aka the church that will become the patristic church in the wake of these dudes #and im fuzzy on if the orthodox church is a fully separate iteration or if it and the patristic are used interchangeably #Catholicism as like a term comes out of the scism with Protestantism i think

[malewifehenrycooldown]

it would be nice if actually NMH4 was smart and pulled a whole 'actually the real villain was inter-generational trauma all along!' and that it re-contextualised the overarching narrative of NMH to be about the about the Touchdown Family's struggle to end the toxic cycle of violence that their family has been stuck in.

#I DOUBT NMH4 will be that smart. (assuming it will ever happen) but it would be neat if they did lean into that #the reason why the ending of the cycle is so important is that it kinda adds a nice book end / call back to alice twilight #the whole ‘free us from the red crimson sea of madness!’ as a cry for help by assassins asking Travis to help them leave the life #of being an assassin still kinda gets to me #I mean the whole reason why NMH2 happens is that many of the characters are there BECAUSE of Travis. many envy him because he was the one #that became number one. AND WALKED AWAY. #plus in NMH2 travis says ‘we may be fucked up but assassins are human too’ and GAH HES SO RIGHT ABOUT THAT #like really one thing that does bother me about flesh and blood episode is that Travis is VERY NONCHALANT about killing henry. like hey. #that’s your brother who literally just told you not long ago that he saved you and (their) sister jeane from their father!!! #like?? wouldn’t you have a mental breakdown about that revelation?! like I get human emotions are complex #but like at least SOME FORM OF REMORSE WOULDVE MADE THE SCENE BETTER. even him perhaps scolding Sylvia for being nonchalant about the death #of Henry would have made the situation go from ‘oh god the horror’ to ‘don’t you dare say that about my brother #’he did everything to keep me and my sister safe and you have the audacity to think I was okay with killing him?!’ #like seriously where did that small bit of familial bonding/friendship development with Henry and Travis go after NMH2????? #like Henry didn’t just save Travis in the Nick of time with the jasper batt jr fight for NOTHING. #Travis failed to save jeane! so make him at least try to help Henry!! he’s his only real blood relative and knowing the person who’s done #their best to keep you out of very specific life threatening danger - I think you owe your sibling to try and save them from whatever #is happening to them that’s making them take irrational decisions of world domination #SUDA HIRE ME TO BE YOUR WRITER TRUST ME I CAN FIX YOUR SILLY LITTLE UNIVERSE I SWEAR #nomoreposting #suda51posting #nmh3 spoilers #shallow rambles #sorry I’m have deep thoughts about this series and it’s implications sorry #yeah I’m kinda in denial of the whole Henry’s domination of the world thing (not that I hate it!! good for him!!) #but also I wish there was much more build up and development before hand you know? the last time we got development was in NMH2 #<- NMH2 was released… 13 years ago and even then henry still doesn’t have that much screentime either so is that even character development #if you’re reading tags. dear goodness thank you for putting up with my ramblings. /GEN

[nulfaga]

maybe foundation explains this, my 1 p*rate site didn't have it and i cbf to shop around bc the art style is ugly but it baffles me that thane's first kill in 2158 was a human. you know for his training as part of the compact. right. so what human pissed off the hanar so badly (within A YEAR of first contact) that they wanted him dead. was he just a holdover from the war w/ the turians that no one knew what to do with. who was this guy. did he make it to kahje somehow or was thane carrying out interplanetary hits from day 1. so many questions

#this was 10 years after earth even discovered the mass relays lmao #humanity just had a KICK ME sign on its back right off the bat ig #also. something something thane's first kill as a child (a clumsy affair where he barely escaped w his life) being a human #something something he's a human culture buff who's read locke and the princess bride #and who takes his son to new mexico (home to roswell. come on) #something something kneeling in front of irikah & asking her to 'save him' & promptly rushing into a family life he wasn't equipped for #the very moment he caught on that freedom was an option #again idk if theres a timeline for all of this but i like to think he was VERY young when he and irikah got married & had kolyat like 20ish #(and anyway he can't have reasonably been much older can he. if he was even 25 then kolyat is 13 by the time of me2. #you look me in the eyes and tell me that is a 13 year old. there's no way) #but the reason i like it narratively is it's so like farcical and tragic like #the compact as a social construct stunted him so badly that the moment he saw an alternative he just went for it no holds barred #while being a traumatized adolescent killing machine w no marketable skills outside murder #leading to this batshit situation where he suddenly has a son he barely knows how to interact with #and then he has to fall back on the murder thing ANYWAY because he's no good at anything else #and kolyat age 10 gets to listen in while his father asks his mother's blessing to go shed some blood in order to put food on the table. #the fact that thane still talks abt the compact with pride in me2. when it set this batshit miserable tone for his life for NO REASON #massively effectual

[mummer]

bill said that a big inspiration for barry was A Good Man Is Hard To Find tone wise or whatever so i read it because im normal and well adjusted and .

aaaagggghhhhhh.

#i like that he's got first name privileges now. he's a close friend #just kidding. #anyway i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life #the tiny tony tinymoments where you can see a human being in there. there is a person that can be touched by kindness #but in the end it’s not enough. what would be enough? #barry #like im sorry if u think this show isnt gonna have an insanely pessimistic ending. dark dark. #also the misfit being like They told me i killed my father but i didnt he died of the flu. Was he LYING????? does he not even remember. #what if barry has something that intense memory holed. what DID happen to barry’s parents anyway. #bill buddy you gotta answer me.

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Dante of Sparda (Part 1/2). The last muse that I was inspired and motivated to make as many tags for as possible was Dorian, so here we go. Some of these are subject to change as I am absolutely partial to TaS and will rewatch it soon (semi-selectively), but for now...

#[ dante of sparda. ] beginnings always end. that's the rule. it may be sad but looking gloomy just 'cause it's the end isn't my thing. #[ dante of sparda / threads. ] it's not about loss. strength is a choice: fighting like hell to protect what's important. #[ dante of sparda / inquiries. ] cash up front? this i like. the water needs turning on and those toilets need flushing. #[ dante of sparda / visage. ] you know another man as good looking as i am? the correct answer is no; by the way. #[ dante of sparda / relevance. ] is it decided from when we're born then? ones born without much power are fated to be stamped out by you? #[ dante of sparda / meta. ] maybe somewhere out there even a devil may cry when they loses a love one; don't you think? / maybe. #[ dante of sparda / et cetera. ] 'not gonna die' my ass. that bitch slap nearly killed me. #[ dante of sparda / humanity. ] devils never cry. these tears… these tears are a gift only humans have. #[ dante of sparda / demons. ] he understands love; so he'll make it fine as a human. the only things i choose to exterminate are demons. #[ dante of sparda / rebellion. ] i always wondered; why did my father give me the rebellion? if the yamato can separate man from devil…

[meat-pvppet]

Thinking about hank again

#Tf2 oc brainrot will never leave me #Anyway the only thing i keep thinking about is hank and the administrator having a bit of a scuffle cuz admin wants him to remake his #Immortality serum but the thing is he lost the formula a few years ago and itd be pretty dangerous for her to even try using the serum cuz #They arent sure if itll work or straight up kill her since shes already lived way beyond the lifetime of a normal human and hank isnt sure #How the serum would react with the australium already in her body keeping her alive #Also thinking about hank and dell having some epic poggers father son type talks #Cuz hank is kinda like an uncle to dell #Who just happens to stay the same age indefinitely #So just #Hank and dell talking about work and life and shit like that #Tf2 #Tf2 oc #Ig #.txt