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sayruq · 17 days

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In January of 2024, Dr. Bara Zuhaili entered Gaza on a two-week medical mission with a U.S.-based organization, Rahma Worldwide. Dr. Zuhaili dedicated most of his time to Shuhada' Al-Aqsa Hospital in Deir Al-Balah, central Gaza. While this was not his first experience in a wartime or crisis setting — he had undertaken medical missions in Syria and was in southern Turkey during the earthquake — it proved to be his most horrific. As a vascular surgeon, he was tasked with assisting Gazan doctors in one of the ugliest tasks of this war: amputations. A generation of amputees has emerged, with over 10 children losing one or more limbs per day, on average, since the beginning of the war. Dr. Ghassan Abu-Sittah called it “the biggest cohort of pediatric amputees in history.” Even this statistic, reported by UNICEF in December of 2023, is now outdated. The true number of men, women, and child amputees remains unknown, with estimates ranging upwards of 10,000 people. It is a number that will continue to rise as new and unknown weapons destroy tissue and bone, crumbling medical infrastructures and scarce supplies force constant life-and-death decisions, while infections and chronic illnesses — largely ignored — silently kill or handicap thousands.

Is this the first time you've worked in a war zone or in a humanitarian crisis? Did any of them prepare you for this? It was not the first time. Unfortunately, I had experience in Syria, working in the underground hospitals in the besieged areas of Aleppo and Idlib. There, the healthcare facilities were also under constant attack by the Syrian regime. But Gaza was unlike anything I had seen before. To start, the supply chain was completely broken. Supplies were extremely limited in Deir Al Balah, where I was based for most of my stay. The hospital functioned at only 5-10% capacity compared to any similar hospital in the Middle East—I'm not even talking about an American hospital. Then, there were the number of patients. Just to give you an idea: Shuhada' Al-Aqsa Hospital in Deir Al Balah is only equipped for 150 patients. Under extreme circumstances, they could maybe stretch to accommodate up to 200 patients. When I arrived, there were 950 patients, in addition to over 20,000 refugees sleeping in the corridors of the hospital and its complex. Every time we experienced a bombardment, we had anywhere from 20 to 60 patients rushing in simultaneously, in addition to the patients already being treated. It was completely overwhelming and overcrowded. The third issue had to do with the type of injuries. I've seen a lot of trauma before — traumatic injuries are not new to me — but the level of trauma I saw was something I've never witnessed in my entire life. When I was in the operating room, I would get a call from the ER saying someone was shot in the leg and they needed me as soon as possible. In my mind, someone shot in the leg with a bullet would have an entry size of about five to six millimeters and an exit wound size of about two centimeters long. That is what I was familiar with. What I saw in Gaza — which I had never seen before — was literally as if an explosion, an RPG, had exploded into the leg. The entry wound would be about five to 10 centimeters wide and the exit wound would be almost 30 centimeters wide. One bullet would destroy a diameter of 10-15 centimeters… all of the muscle, bone, arteries, and nerves were all gone, destroyed.I'm not a military expert, I don't know much about weapons. But I don't know what kind of bullet can cause that much destruction. With a bullet wound in the U.S., I could get away with doing a bypass to salvage the leg. In Gaza, there was nothing anyone could do to salvage the leg. The amount of tissue damage forced me to do amputations almost every single time.

Can you describe what a single day would look like? As a rule, anytime a bombardment happened, we would wait between four to eight hours before we received any injured people. In Deir Al-Balah, we would see the missile hitting two to three kilometers away and we knew that there were many casualties, but it would take these people — who were only three kilometers away from us — four to eight hours to reach our location. The IOF (Israeli Occupation Forces) prevented any ambulances from entering the scene, and anyone attempting to help or approach would be shot. I had many cases where the ambulance driver would come to me holding two or three kids. They were dead, and he would swear to me they were alive four hours ago. We lost a lot of lives just waiting to reach us in the hospital. Our days typically began around seven in the morning, and even though the night was filled with attacks and bombardments, no casualties would reach us before the morning. By then, we would go to the ER and try to start the triage process: determining who needs to go to the OR first and who could afford to wait. We would then perform surgeries throughout the day, often not finishing until one or two in the morning. Sometimes, if I had time, I would do my rounds to check on the patients, and by late afternoon, we would have more bombardments and injuries coming in until midnight. Usually, by midnight, things slowed down… not because there was no bombardment, but because they couldn't reach us anymore.

#yemen #jerusalem #tel aviv #current events #palestine #free palestine #gaza #free gaza #news on gaza #palestine news #news update #war news #war on gaza #gaza genocide #genocide #disability rights #disability justice

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shisnhou · 2 years

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does anyone else have thoughts about gojo satoru who wants to buy you sexy lingerie for your birthday present, but doesn’t know what your bra or panty size is.

the man is walking into the lingerie store with his head held up high and his cheeks tainted red. all the women, and their significant others look at him with a confused yet intrigued look. why‘s this extremely handsome man walking into the lingerie store alone?

with long confident strides, this man walks to the set aisle. his blue eyes widen behind the designer sunglasses, and it isn’t the price tags that fluster him—he could care less about the insane price tags—what flusters him is the material and style of the lingerie.

he swallows, hard. he suppresses the shaking of his hand and reaches out for the dark blue lingerie before his also very blue eyes.

"excuse me sir?" a woman appears out of no where, breaking goio‘s impure imagination of you in said lingerie. "is there anything i can help you with?" she asks, cocking a brow.

gojo puts the lingerie down and stammers, licking his lips for a moment before coming to his senses. "i— yeah." he thinks hard and keeps his mind straight. "can i have this for my girl?"

"sure," she nods, taking the lingerie from his hands. "this is our limited edition, by the way. we only have two of these ever made by our famous designer.." gojo could honestly care less about what she is saying. all he‘s thinking of right now is taking the sinful piece and placing it on you as soon as possible.

"yeah." he nods, already looking around for another sexy set.

"the person you‘re with must be really lucky." she chuckles, still doing whatever the fuck she‘s supposed to do and looks at him. "this is one of a kind." she further adds. he nods again. "so i‘ll have to ask.."

"what‘s their size?"

gojo stops.

"what?"

"it‘s limited edition, so there‘s no size other than this. we have to make sure it‘s their size." she looks at him.

gojo halts. his whole body shuts down as he looks at it. he hadn‘t thought that part through. he thought that if he‘d see what looks good, he‘d immediately know it was made for you. but for god sake, now that he’s here, he doesn’t have a single clue.

"i— um—" he stammers, trying to explain it. "it‘s—"

"do you not know it?" she frowns. "i mean it‘s okay. you‘d just have to ask her then come—"

"no! i know it!" he cuts her off quick, pressing his fingers to his temple. "it‘s— it‘s.."

without even realizing it, gojo brings up both his hands to the air and makes an odd shape. the woman watches and eyes him oddly as he continues to further describe the shape.

"what‘re you doing…?"

"i‘m trying to show you." without a single ounce of shame, this man then puts his hands on the bra and feels it.

he‘s trying to figure out your tit size with his hands.

"yeah, that‘s it." he nods, sure of himself. then he grabs the thong. he places it flat on his palm and sees the size before nodding once again and smiling to the woman. "mhm, that‘s the right size."

the woman stares at him, bewildered. her jaw hangs agape, throat dry as she watches gojo move around and look at her. "yeah, that‘s it. it‘s her perfect size."

without even awaiting her response, he proudly takes the set from her and walks away, not even bothering to check the number tag for the size as he goes around and does the same for every piece of lingerie he encounters.

the people look at him, meanwhile he couldn‘t give a damn. he simply walks around, and purchases what he found with pride, leaving the store and the people in there more confused than they ever were in their lives.

and when the man gives it to you during your birthday, somehow, some fucking way, it‘s actually the right fucking size. and when he knows about it, he‘ll smugly tell you the story about how he found out your size and you‘ll just be left embarrassed the next time you‘re walking into that store with him.

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beemovieerotica · 6 months

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I will never get over the absolute dumpster fire of when the dsa (democratic socialists of america) streamed their congressional sessions online and the rest of the internet found it

it was like if you asked the most ill-intentioned centrist to write a comedy sketch of the worst problems with the left but this was an actual real life event that occurred and was broadcast to thousands of people and the alt-right fucking loved it

like going beyond the moment when someone was accidentally misgendered and then made a scene on the senate floor screaming at the moderator, there was this whole thing about the same people taking up too much time at the microphone raising points of contention, and so they had to come up with a solution to it

and instead of being like...okay, if you've already spoken a lot of times today, sit down please. they went "so we're going to do this thing where the people who are the most marginalized can cut to the front of the line to speak first."

oh boy.

they instantly had to employ a moderator to stand by the line to break up arguments and order people in the most un-biased way possible which as you can imagine is kind of fucking impossible.

multiple follow-up rules had to be made like "okay so if you have an invisible disability or invisible facet of marginalization then please pull the moderator aside and disclose this so they can order you correctly---" which is a whole additional can of worms and did not end well

what basically happened was that there was a slew of the same-looking white able-bodied cis men and women showing up at the microphone first anyway, which kind of prompted the question...what did any of this do...? but this my friends was instantly answered when the vast majority of these people then announced as soon as they got up to the mic: "I have autism." like, opening line. I Have Autism.

great!!!

and the inevitable follow-up to this from critics was "wow, they all have autism which makes them stupid" instead of considering, hey maybe self-important people will use any reason to claim that they deserve more attention and more of a voice, and autism can definitely exacerbate this when you can't read the room and identify that maybe you should uhhh let the person in the wheelchair who is in line behind you speak up on disability issues when there's limited time? bro?

it was genuinely so astounding and the icing on the cake was every moment they had to tell people to stop applauding or making any noise whatsoever (AT A POLITICAL ACTION MEETING?) because it was "triggering" to some people like. how do i say anything about this without sounding like a dick.

but i mean it very sincerely when i say that this is what happens when people do not engage in real life social spaces, when they base all of their politics on hot takes on tumblr or twitter, and when you let an extremely small vocal minority who assumes the most bad-faith readings of everything that is ever said to them, determine the trajectory of an entire political movement. please tell me this isn't the best alternative we have to the broken two party system.

#rambling #rant #kicking the hornet's nest

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boxx-sama · 7 months

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Small Yuno Rant

CW: Abortion, mentions of sexual activity, mentions of suicide

Why Yuno Kashiki is NOT just “a girlboss”, as she has been mischaracterized by the Milgram fandom for who knows how long.

Oh boy.

I think most of you are already aware of the treatment Yuno gets by the fandom.

“Yeah girl, you abort that baby!”

“She did nothing wrong, she’s a girlboss!”

“She doesn’t regret anything!”

Well, to that, I say:

Do you know ANYTHING about Yuno, really?

These are all highly watered-down statements that prove that people see Yuno merely as some sort of feminine icon who did what was right for her body. And, that is right to an extent. I am pro-choice. But I don’t think they realize how unhealthy Yuno’s cravings were, how messed up her mindset is, and just how jaded she is.

I will debunk these statements one by one, so without further ado, let’s go.

Abortion in Japan, and Yuno’s Family

I’ve done my research on this, and I can easily say that getting a proper abortion in Japan is absolute hell. Taken from this article, an excerpt reads:

In Japan, abortion is essentially a crime except for certain indications. These indications have to do with mental illness, hereditary disease, leprosy, threat to the health of the mother, and pregnancy resulting from rape or threat. These indications entered into force under the eugenic protection law of 1948. On January 1, 1991, a new regulation became effective that shortened the duration of pregnancy termination from 23 weeks of gestation to 21 weeks in view of the advancement of medicine that made it possible for prematurely born children to survive outside the uterus.

Despite the limited availability for abortion, it is definitely seen as a crime by Japanese people. It is known that women are supposed to be held responsible for the death of the baby, not the doctors or pills that may be taken.

And even then, the chance of a proper abortion is slim. For example, birth control pills. The pill is not covered by Japanese Health Insurance, and the cost is approximately 3,000 yen per month. That is about $20 USD. Yuno is not struggling for money, either, as revealed by her T2 VD:

“I'm not pitiable. My family gets along super well. And I'm not particularly struggling for money. I decided, of my own free will, to do it because I felt that it was necessary for me.”

This adds evidence to my theory that Yuno did not want to be publicly shamed for having an abortion at such a young age, and as such, went to more extreme, private methods to rid of the baby; the latter of which I will get to later.

As I previously mentioned, abortion is looked down on in Japan. A few reasons for this include cultural influences, societal expectations, and historical factors, which contribute to a certain level of stigma. Traditional values emphasizing family continuity and societal norms may influence perceptions.

In a previous theory I had, I stated that Yuno had a highly religious family, and her own morals went against theirs. However, she loved her family, so she tried to seek a “cure” to her depression through sex. Many interrogation questions can add to this theory:

Question 4: Do you believe that god exists?

Answer: Obviously not.

(Note: The original TL had just said “no”, but Yuno has でしょ at the end of her sentence, and this can be used to emphasize a phrase or question, to my knowledge. As such, I changed it to be more fitting!)

Question 9: What do you think of your family?

Answer: I love them.

Perhaps she did everything behind their backs not only due to possible religious/traditional views, but because she wouldn’t want to be seen as someone who is “bad” for chasing after her ideals. On a slightly seperate note, this theme is fairly prominent in Umbilical:

Am I a bad girl? Please don’t answer What do you want to do? Please tell me

There are like more examples from the second trial interrogation, so if there are any let me know!

What Yuno Did + Her Regret

I think everyone has a general consensus as to what Yuno’s “murder” is. She participated in compensated dating, got pregnant at some point, and had an abortion, most likely by jumping off a set of stairs to kill the baby and herself.

This can be inferred by her Undercover shot, where she is standing at the end of her apartment balcony, seemingly holding her stomach from behind:

And not just this photo, but this brief shot from Umbilical:

(Fun little detail, but the whole aesthetic part of her MV is designed to be pink like a uterus and the balloons/white specs flying around may be sperm? Which implies she was “drowning” in warmth. Interesting.)

But wait, why would Yuno take herself as well as the baby? I like to think of it this way.

During her compensated dating, she met a man that she liked. One man who saw her for her, and not a complete facade. These dates, where she seems more like herself, are with said man—

The school uniform Yuno, as well as yellow Yuno.

It’s known that Yuno does look less happy in her other two personas by the second bridge, so I think she was more comfortable playing a lively character with this client because it felt more close to how Yuno wanted to represent herself.

So, progressing to Tear Drop, this man wears a gray coat. I saw a theory that I agree with once but forgot the source of it, so I’ll simply state it. I think that the Yuno in lingerie is representative of herself, and the Yuno in her uniform is the client. They keep and having sex and loving each other, but Yuno is betrayed when she finds out the man was using her for money and left her due to the pregnancy and then her life comes crashing down after. I’m kinda shortening this because this was supposed to be short but ended up long instead.

Does Yuno regret what she did? Yes, to an extent.

And anyone who doesn’t read into her character should really reconsider it!

#box talks #milgram #milgram theory #milgram project #yuno kashiki

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adarkrainbow · 4 months

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Long ask. Bear with me, please.

I'm still thinking about what counts or not as a fairy tale.

To be honest, I think the only pre-requisites for something to become a fairy tale in pop culture is for it to be a popular fantasy children's story in public domain. And kinda look like a fairy tale, too.

In your opinion, which work would be considered a fairy tale if it weren't for copyright?

Let me give, my examples

C.S. Lewis' Narnia books, especially the first one, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. If Alice in Wonderland and Wizard of Oz are considered fairy tales, especially in crossovers, Narnia should be too as it shares many themes, plot points, and character archetypes.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It literally uses all fairy tale archetypes and cliches under the sun, even if it ditches magic for extremely soft sci-fi. Willy Wonka is like Frau Holle or that fairy godmother from Toads and Diamonds, the four brat children are like those siblings and step-siblings who are always magically punished, and even as a child I knew Charlie Bucket was Cinderella but with no focus on romance. He's the youngest sibling that always is magically rewarded.

It is quite funny because I had the idea to make a post about this subject specifically! But since you asked I'll drop some elements of my planned posts here - it can be a good introduction!

Now if you ask me, "fairytale" can't be everything and anything, but that's probably because I come from France where "fairytales" are literaly a literary genre first, and then a category of folktales and legend, and we have specific categorizations different from other countries (again, the merveilleux/fantastique divide for example which determines the French approach to supernatural and fantasy, but is absent from English literature if I am not mistaken).

I... personally do not believe any "popular children story" would be a fairytale. Else that would make the first Harry Potter books a fairytale, or the Winnie the Pooh stories a fairytale or Despicable Me or the recent musical Troll movies fairytales. I think the inherent decision to make something "for children" fairytale like is bad because, again, fairytales were not originally meant for children and thus should not be limited to a child audience.

From my point of view, a fairytale needs to be either a folktale that hold itself in a specific format that makes it separate from legends and myths (the type of local folkloric stories told by old storytellers to children in the countryside for example - but with a clear plot, clear characters, and beginning and ends, separating it from vague legends ; and with a minimum religious element, to separate it from myths for example). I do not like to think of Greek myths as "Greek fairytales". For example, to take an example of the folkloric fairytales of France vs the legends: we have in Bretagne the belief in "les lavandières de nuit", "the night washer-women", ghostly, otherwordly apparitions of women washing clothes at night, and you should never help them else you'll end up dead or with your arms broken. If someone simply tells you what I told you above "It is said there are ghostly women who wash linen at night...", this is more of a "legend", like ghost stories, or "Oh, this is a fairy mound haunted by fairies!" or "It is said a monster lives in this cave". But if you actually tell the story of a specific peasant boy with a specific name, who due to specific reasons ends up meeting these women, and either escapes or falls to their fate, we already are closer to the folktale and thus the "fairytale of Bretagne". But this is all obvious, as these kind of fairytale-folktales were those collected by Grimm and Jacobs and Moe and others...

And then you have literary fairytales, which are stories meant to evoke or imitate the folktales described above, and can derive in many ways (be more "literary") but still identify or present themselves or link themselves to these folktales. These are the Perrault and d'Aulnoy and Andersen fairytales for example. This category can be pushed further with what we call in French "contes détournés" - you could call them "fractured fairytales" to take back a common English term, that is to say all the parodies and rewrites and deformations of fairytales, sometimes for humoristic effects, other times not. Modernization and expansion of fairytales are part of that, so to speak. But we stay in a domain where the story is presented or follows the code and format of fairytales, while also explicitely avoiding, pointing out or reversing the common tropes and rules.

But where the Narnia books and the Dahl books enter, we reach a domain that is not fully fairytale but rather a crossroad between three genres deeply intertwined. "Fairy tales" (or rather "modern fairytales") ; "Fairytale-Fantasy" and "Children fantasy".

Children fantasy is basically any modern children story (by modern I mean deliberately fictional and written as fiction) that involves magic and the supernatural. And these stories can be influenced by fairytales, since it is something children are very aware about, but not always. Peter Pan, just like the Oz books, are "children fantasy" - a form of fantasy for children primarily, or rather a form of children stories that step into the fantasy realm. Pinocchio is one of the oldest "children fantasy", as in a work primarily aimed at children, but with magical and fantastical elements in it.

"Fairytale-fantasy" however is a term usually given to a subgenre of fantasy works that, instead of taking inspiration from epic sagas (epic fantasy) or horror works (dark fantasy) or other things ; takes inspiration from fairytales and folktales. The same way Tolkien was the father of "epic fantasy" he was also the father of "fairytale fantasy" through his Hobbit novel, and also other works (his Tom Bombadil poems, his Farmer Gilles of Ham novel).

The thing is that "children fantasy" and "fairytale fantasy" are deeply interconnected since both can draw source from fairytales and folktales to build entirely new stories. As a result there is a frequent overlap. The Oz books belong as much to "children fantasy" (one of the biggest success in terms of magical series of children-book) as "fairytale fantasy" (they were a pure deconstruction of typical fairytales, explicitely playing with fairytale codes, and later becoming an "American fairytale" classic). The Narnia books are also part of this crossroad, as they are "children fantasy" (they are a traditional fantasy story with epic tones, but for children and teenagers), while also being "fairytale fantasy" (taking inspiration and paying homage to several fairytales and folktales). They all belong to this category of works which are not fairytales per se (since they are not of folkloric origins, nor were they meant to be faithful rewrites or perfect pastiches of traditional folkloric fairytales), but definitively works of fiction based upon fairytales, inspired by fairytales, and mant to take fairytales into the "next step" of the world of fiction.

The main difference between "children fantasy" and "fairytale fantasy" would be as such. Children fantasy, while sometimes inspired by fairytales, is not always tied to fairytales and can be completely fairytale free. For example many of Roald Dahl stories do pay homage to fairytales and are inspired by his fairytales (his witches in The Witches, his giants in THE BFG, Wonka and his factory, the Giant Peach, etc...), he is part of the "writers of modern fairytales". But you have also lot of children stories with magic that do not involve any fairytale reference. Children fantasy can be inspired and allied by fairytales, but is not defined by them.

On the opposite side, "fairytale fantasy" is defined by fairytales - but not by age. Yes some of the most famous "fairytale fantasy" works are for children: the Oz books or the Narnia books. But just as many are for adults and definitively not for children. Neil Gaiman wrote a Coraline for children, but his Stardust is definitively for adults. The movie "Legend", while one of the most iconic fairytale-fantasies, is for adults.

So, I think the real way to point out what a fairytale is, is to look at the format and intentions of the author and of the work, to see if it fits the literary fairytales of old. There needs to be a conscious emulation, pastiche or imitation of traditional fairytales, there needs to be something that make it feel like a fairytale, and not like a story inspired by fairytales. But honestly... this is deep down really, really hard to draw a line as it mostly comes to personal definitions and appreciations. The genre of fairytales is vast and blurry, as it covers traditional European folktales and a specific short literary genre first, but was then expanded to cover other literary works and non-European folktales - and so the lines are... muddled.

I do not hesitate to say that "Over the Garden Wall" is actually a modern fairytale, as seeing the show made me literaly feel again the same kind of feeling I had when I first discovered fairytales. But I can understand why people would consider it "fairytale fantasy" rather than a "modern fairytale" because it was made with the intent of it being a children show and fantasy show first and foremost. Dahl stories are definitively "modern fairytales" - but the fact they are set in "modern day" and a grounded reality where the supernatural is not supposed to exist can disqualify them from being traditional fairytales ; or the humor and parody and play with the fairytale codes can also create a distanciating humor that make them fairytale subversions or pastiches or parodies rather than fairytales. Pinocchio has everything that fits a literary fairytale - but its format also evokes old "story-cycles" like the Reynard adventures or Gargantua ones, and its lack of simplicity and uniformity, or rather its long, flowing nature can also disqualify it from being a fairytale and rather make it a fairytale-inspired fantasy....

Honestly the narrowest definition you can have of "fairytale" is: printed works that explicitely designate themselves as such, from collected folktales (Grimm) to literary fiction written to emulate and imitate them (Andersen). This is the most narrow definition you can have. But then, one can expand to include all folktales that inspired fairytales ; or on the other side, one can push into the literary direction, to include stories that do not have the fairytale format, but that were so heavily inspired and shaped after fairytales, and gained such a popular influence and widespread presence, that they became "modern fairytales". But then this also opens the door to questions such as "What is a myth?" or "What about literary myths?" (like Faust or Don Juan or Frankenstein, all those famous "literary myths" as we call them in French).

As you can see by this convoluted answer, it is not a clear-cut question and nobody can truly answer it. Everybody will have a different opinion, and there is no real limit. The question mostly defines in how the work label itself. Perrault and Grimm and Andersen works called themselves fairytales, so there is no doubt about it. But take Neil Gaiman's Stardust - an iconic of fairytale fantasy, and yet Gaiman refers to it as a "romance in Faerie", evoking more the genre of fantastical and supernatural romances (medieval-meaning of the sense) like "The Well at World's End" and others - and the work is also very inspired by fantasy fae stories with a vague proto-urban fantasy feel to it, like "Lug-in-Mist". Same thing with the movie "Legend" which is definitively inspired by fairytales and a fairytale-fantasy, but was sold as a "fantasy movie" or even "heroic fantasy" movie first and foremost. Meanwhile the Oz books were intended by Baum to be a "modern, American fairytale" - even though their novel format and their franchise nature removes the idea they can become as "traditional" as the folktales he meant to imitate...

I'll stop there for now, but long story short: It's complicated, and when in doubt, don't hesitate to refer to intermediary terms like "children fantasy" or "fairytale fantasy", which clearly evoke modern fictional works and can highlight a difference with classic literary fairytales or folkloric fairytales, without rejecting the idea these "modern fairytales" aren't fairytales in their own right.

#question #fairytales #what is a fairytale #fairytale fantasy #children fantasy #literary fairytale #folkloric fairytale #i honestly don't know what i am writing

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walkawaytall · 6 months

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I’m hardly the first person to make this observation, but I’ve been pretty solidly plus-sized for like three years or so due to a crazy amount of mystery weight gain that a lot of my doctors want to chalk up to the “COVID 20” or whatever, which is insanely annoying since for me it’s closer to the COVID 50 even though my habits didn’t change that drastically and also it happened in weird spurts of very rapid weight gain with a few plateaus but whatever. The point is I’ve been plus-sized but I haven’t always been plus-sized so I have perspective from both sides of the size spectrum or whatever and…

Why…why can’t I just find basics easily? Why is it every time someone says, “Oh, this store has plus sizes!” nearly every item is a loud-ass print that’s seems like it’s meant to distract and confuse people so they won’t have to focus on my size or the items are cut so poorly I will not want to wear them? Why are things cut so short-waisted and boxy??? I have a large chest and a long torso, which didn’t magically change just because I gained weight, and I feel like everything is cut boxy so I either have to size up for length, which makes everything feel even more shapeless, or if the store has Tall options (incredibly rare), I’ll order the Tall sizes despite the fact that I’m 5’6”.

None of my jeans fit. None of them. If they fit in the waist, they will be baggy everywhere else because I do tend to gain in my waist. But…like…a lot of women gain in their waists. Why will no jeans fit? I have on jeans right now that are supposed to be skinny cut and not a single person on this planet would think they were anything other than slightly baggy straight-legged jeans. And these aren’t cheap jeans. I often buy Madewell and, more recently, I bought a pair from Talbots.

And there is just so much animal print??? I remember a few years ago when I was first starting to look for plus-sized clothing, like every color option was black or leopard print. Once time, I grabbed some garment thinking it was going to be a solid color, and there was a leopard print racing stripe down the side. Why…why can’t I just get like a pretty green or burgundy or blue shirt with no crazy pattern that isn’t cut as if I’m trying to suffocate myself in cloth? Like, I’m not even looking for revealing clothing or overly tight clothing; I just don’t want to look like I’m trying to dress entirely shapelessly? I historically like swing dresses or A-line dresses and boatneck tshirts and skinny jeans or boyfriend jeans and I feel like my options without dipping into loud prints or just dressing in black every day are extremely limited.

(I know I keep railing against loud prints. Here’s the thing: I occasionally go for a loud print. And if that’s all you love, I think you should wear them every day. But it is insane that I can find like ten color options in straight sizes and then if I hop over to plus sizes, my options are black, leopard print, and some very large floral prints. It very much comes across as, “We need to distract from their bodies with these giant flowers!” when maybe I just want to wear a plain purple shirt occasionally. Or tiny floral print. Or checks. Or stripes. Or anything that doesn’t lean into some “big and brassy” stereotype.)

Anyway, I have a couple of stores where I can usually find some things, but flattering basics have been incredibly difficult. Like, it has already been hard given my past body image issues, past eating disorder, and just getting used to what my body currently feels like, but I’m then routinely presented with this issue of wanting to look and feel like I care about my clothing a little, but mainly having options that make me look entirely frumpy or so loud that I don’t feel like myself.

#it me #plus sized #plus sized clothing #plus sized fashion

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maxwell-grant · 5 months

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🔥 The Shadow in the pulps

Myra Reldon was really, really cool on her debut, and pretty much never again sadly. Like, she was okay on the following ones, but her spark was lost once she became entirely reliant on her gimmick and could not longer show up or match The Shadow to the same extent. She was the greatest beneficiary of Gibson's "introduce this new agent as a potential villain and then reveal later they were a good guy" method but unfortunately she turned out to be a one-trick pony with a very limited trick. I blame this more on Gibson being generally unwilling to/lackluster at writing women than anything, Myra has potential but she's in a rough spot (and not at all because of Margo, but that's a spiel for another time).

I don't think the early years were the absolute definitive best ones. Gibson was still finding his footing big time and the character was still operating on undercooked surroundings and cast. Like yeah, if you think these novels are worthless whenever The Shadow is not on screen, you're probably gonna gravitate more to the ones where he's at his most distant and invincible, but I think that's extremely reductive and also plainly wrong, he's not even at his absolute coolest in those either.

I've thought a lot on how to make the best of it and I have some ideas but frankly, and I could change my mind in the future but for now, if I could excise the Xincas from Kent Allard's character/backstory, I would. It's just, I don't think you can escape the mighty whitey bullshit baked into the concept guys, I like The Shadow having globetrotted extensively and done something important in South America and the ring having all that lore into it and etc but the Xincas are just, they get cut out of adaptations for good reason.

I agree that Shiwan Khan is overused as hell and usually a bad omen but, thing is, I actually do like him, I do think he had some really good things going for him, and I actually do think he had a lot of legit reasons for being The Shadow's arch-nemesis. That said, I do get that the character is toxic and, even if I argue the particulars of it, I do understand there is a degree of inescapable Yellow Peril there that might not really be worth salvaging. Really the biggest reason I even want Khan to work is less about him and more because, well,

The Shadow's villains kinda suck, and he's not particularly conductive towards having a good rogues gallery in the first place, which really wouldn't be an issue (most characters don't have one) if they didn't keep making a comic book superhero out of him. It's partially because, well he's already the villain to end all the villains for a start, hence why the best-regarded pulp villains generally had surface similarities to him. But The Shadow doesn't really invite that kind of deeper Spider-Man/Batman parallelism, he can't have an over-the-top collection of outsized personalities to fight ala Nick Carter/G-8 because he already is the central outsized over-the-top personality here, and he kinda has the Punisher problem (he can't have a bunch of villains running around because he's supposed to actually handle them for good even if he doesn't kill them) but worse, because his supporting cast actually matters, and fixing this villain problem would come at the expense of risking his supporting cast of agents and honestly, that wouldnt be remotely worth doing.

#replies tag #the shadow #pulp heroes #shadow magazine #pulp fiction

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ichayalovesyou · 2 years

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TOS in Beloved Retrospect

A GREAT Show that is absolutely canon! But I’m Taking the Rose Colored Glasses Off

Listen, it’s no secret that I absolutely ADORE Star Trek: The Original Series. It’s easily in my tied top 3 with SNW and DS9.

But you know what?

I am so, incredibly SICK of people treating it like a sacred document whenever literally any show that’s set before it does almost any plot point that’s even tangentially related to it.

Let’s take off the holy pedestal for just, two seconds please I am BEGGING you.

Star Trek TOS is an episodic show from the 1960s and the showrunners (including Roddenberry!) had NO IDEA, at all, was going to spawn an absolutely massive, beautiful scifi universe that’s practically a genre unto itself.

Even when they made a second series they tried to get away from TOS with the century time jump! Some creators going so far as to want it to never have existed at all, at least briefly, like, uh, Gene Roddenberry.

I can safely say I and many others are VERY glad TOS never got decanonized, but some facts still remain.

As a result of time, The Original Series is very much limited by when it was made. Such as!

In it’s cultural attitudes to minorities and women, see: the POC and female characters not getting any major plot lines until after TOS.

Literally one of the first things that got disregarded by pretty much all other Star Treks that take place before and after is that women can’t become captains (like wtf was that about?? Oh wait, it was the 60s 🙄). It was literally like, the peak of sexism, and cloaking devices existing before the Romulans showed up that get decanonized the first chance they had (it’s literally been happening since Enterprise and people freak out about invisible ships, every time).

In the fact that because it was exclusively, extremely episodic, every episode was the first time anybody ever saw anything because they had to introduce it to the audience without confusing them and making them turn off the TV or change channels.

Do you know how many times I, a Zillenial who grew up with a mix of episodic/serialized shows, had to suspend my disbelief because if this show was any less episodic the main characters would’ve learned their lesson already from a previous episode or would still be processing the trauma of a previous episode? So many! Watsonian explanations galore!

It was TOS movies that changed the Klingon character design with no explanation. Every time there’s an evil double of Kirk or he gets possessed the crew reacts like it’s never happened to anybody before! Kirk convinces a computer to kill itself like eight times and every time it’s like “oh wow look how smart Kirk is getting a computer to commit die”. Kirk loses his brother, his sister-in-law AND his love interest within the span of two episodes and is totally fine afterward! And you know what? I’m ok with that because I have a brain cell and recognize the show was created before serialized television got even a bit popular!

Third of all technology! Listen I hate all that touchscreen chrome color pallete stuff too! I’m also not, never have been, and never will be a technobabble guy! I’m so happy that the Enterprise is still colorful and has buttons and stuff! But ultimately, TOS was a 1960s conception of 250 years of progress, and it came up a little, even VERY short at times (so do all the other Star Treks, you can’t predict progress with 100% accuracy).

So if the tech is better than say, not much more fancy than a submarine in space, I’m willing to give it a pass. Star Trek has been making up and then immediately forgetting/disregarding some completely world altering technobabble from a single episode or movie since the beginning! The tech is a means of storytelling, and it’s clearly not a limitation because people are always changing or ignoring it! It’s only pure vomitous rancid evil when “NuTrek” does it right?

If you take all three of those HUGE things into account, TOS has, by far, the most tissue paper thin delicate canon of all of Star Trek. Quite frankly I would MUCH rather enjoy exploring the 2200s without walking on incredibly fragile eggshells regarding technobabble details or certain alien encounters.

It’s not like Federation ships have cloaking devices in the 2260s or that the SNW crew is out here fighting off Romulan boarding parties or sipping Meridor with the ruler of the Gorn Hegemony. They’re toeing the line to explore familar concepts in a new format (like serialized short form TV) and like, that’s fine! For crying out loud the Ferengi popped up in an Enterprise episode and most people tend to regard that as funny without ripping their hair out!

Have there been some changes to canon I’m a bit lukewarm about (see, the Gorn being as xenomorph-adjacent and unsympathetic as they were in All Those Who Wander) sure, yes, absolutely! Do I think it obliterates the canon of TOS, in which the Gorn only show up in a single episode with very little and vague lore around them? No!

The Doylist explanation, even if it hurts, is that a lot of meta aspects of TOS are falling out of favor or otherwise obsolete. NOT the stories or the characters for certain, but other fundamental building blocks are frozen in the context they were created in. Trying to adhere to them would severely limit any writer trying to explore that era of Starfleet’s history. So the writers are going to adapt to the spirit if not the precise letter of TOS’s canon.

The Watsonian explanations are numerous, but my favorite interpretation (which you don’t have to like, but maybe it’ll help) is that TOS is still fundementally canon, but the elements that make it inconsistent with other treks or with modern expectations for representation and technology are the result of a “universal translator” sending the truth about our future being translated into a way 1960s audiences could understand. Which is ultimately, kind of what Roddenberry’s desires were in the first place, to show us a better future within the confines of what was then modern TV.

#Star Trek #star trek analysis #meta #Star Trek meta #tos meta #fandom meta #analysis #deep dive #star trek the original series #Star Trek tos #the original series #tos #Star Trek discovery #Star Trek strange new worlds #discovery #strange new worlds #Star Trek disco #snw #Star Trek snw

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burinazar · 2 months

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(idk who will care about this post but i think long schpiels on extremely specific Thoughts About Media is a major use case for tumblr so you’re getting it anyway) i think i wouldn’t at all have my feeling of disconnect re the rest of fandom’s* interest in Bondord if he had been a woman. this isnt a bizarre critique of some sort its just a funny thought about me and what i like. twisted inversion of motherhood with a mad scientist character feels like, the concept has More For Me than the same with fatherhood and would create more intrinsic interest in the character

*especially ‘my cohort’ — the contingent who seems to have similar predilections like fic/shipping activity and also much of the portion of the fandom that’s, like, adult women — largely those folks are big Bondrode fans and enjoy Guebon and i’m like, i relate to your habits guys but have very little interest in your man. (for those who haven’t heard me bitch about this before: i dont hate him but i have littlr interest in seeking out art or fic of him or anything and I’m kinda sad that he’s the only adult character who ever got like figures and nendo and stuff.)

hopefully no one takes this personally lol. hell, i don’t care if Bon fans think Belaf is boring! that is in fact vastly preferable to people who are randomly mean about my ships. please feel free to just ignore my favorite characters’ existence instead.

anyway like

if he’d shown up as A Horrible Science Woman and then the movie recast her into Also A Loving (But Still Horrible) Mother i’d probably like this chara much more. it’s not like because Ooh Evil Woman Hot or something. actually i think i still wouldn’t find her hot the way most of the aforementioned Bondord Enjoyers do. i pick up a new ‘character i think is actually hot’ very rarely and then they stay forever. i have very limited slots for that tbh. (also this is just me complaining now and no longer relevant but such characters tend to be pretty unpopular lol and have very little r18 content/fic available and generally this drives me to despair. i drew a picture about the top offenders once.)

it’s more..i think the fucked up inversion of motherhood is more intrinsically interesting to me than with fatherhood. it’s just a personal interest thing. i think that sort of thing is neat. if i ever bother to go watch chainsaw man it’ll be because i know that’s a thing that it gets into and many people like what it does there. also there’s how much i dig mapping parts of this show onto other parts (in fact this is already the context in which i do manage to find him interesting sometimes — the Riko Waz Bondird sliding scale of what lines you’ll cross is the one context in which i have a brain cell to focus on this guy lol.) and in that regard motherhood is part of the premise of the show and all and ways it can be inverted and fucked up is a big deal in my favorite arc even if this isn’t *why* it’s my favorite arc. so i think i’d also enjoy being able to make more parallels with it. even though the general parallel of ‘versions of parenthood’ is still available, i think bad mad scientist fathers are just a less intrinsically Oh Cool concept to me than ‘bad mad scientist mother.’ (Yes I Do Like Prospera Btw)

related: even though I love love love Waz and you guys know this, it also took a while for that to click into place after meeting him. but one time I saw Oriole’s girlWaz tenderly cradling one of the Irukos and i instantly realized that if he had been a woman and the visual of him with the baby and a knife had thus inevitably channeled inverted motherhood and dovetailed with the existing examinations of motherhood in the arc and in abyss as a whole, i would have loved him instantly instead of having to let my thoughts on him percolate.

#orphan hole tag

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aritamargarita · 1 year

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GOLDEN || 005

hello everyone we are backk i was too busy of dying from embarrassment and the fact tumblr was being weird. i said i was hungry then i went back to sleep then i woke up again and decided to eat cereal, yeah

this is the mirror chapter to the ecw one..things are a bit different here in this timeline by the way, for the sake of continuity we’ll say macho man did not help create wolfpac and it was scott hall instead. i do be struggling to post though.

had to rewrite this so many times it got so bad. sorry if this seems short. if you forgive me i will give y'all two attitude chapters..the calm before the storm AND VENGEANCE! if it lets me post lol. my layout is FUCKED i cant even add anything else augh i give up. i'll come back for this

People disagree on a lot of things. They can disagree on the type of music they like, they can disagree on what kind of foods they like, and they can even disagree on something as simple as their favorite colors.

However, people found it hard to disagree whether or not you deserved a spot in World Championship Wrestling. There’s people that love you, there’s people who hate your guts, there’s people that feel conflicted.

One thing was certainly true though, whenever you’re set to be on television, no one could ever take their eyes off of you. Even though you were mainly on commentary right now, it’s hard to pay attention when you’re around.

Maybe it’s your cadence. Maybe it’s the way you carry yourself. Maybe it’s just because you’re a fighter. It’s something about you that makes people wonder. It’s how you landed yourself in the New World Order in the first place.

Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth had dispersed from the group. Hogan split to try and create his own, NWO Hollywood, which left Kevin Nash and Scott Hall to deal with the damage.

After nights of debating what to do with themselves, the both of them created the NWO Wolfpac, but it wasn’t complete. There’s something missing. Some spice to the group, a wildcard….someone no one would ever expect.

They came to the conclusion that they wanted a woman in the group. It’d be something new. Something that’ll give them a hold on the steadily growing women’s division as well. As of right now, there were very limited options. Elizabeth was already with Macho Man, they were damn sure Madusa wasn’t interested, and they didn't want just anyone.

So, that leaves you. Who better than the Queen of Extreme herself?

Now, they didn’t know you entirely too well, but they’ve heard of your accolades so far. Every so often they’ll watch ECW to compare it to WCW, so they’ve seen you more than once.

You could remember meeting them like it was yesterday. You were sitting in the office of Eric Bischoff, with him telling you how “you were trying too hard” for a chance to get in the ring and compete for the title.

You’ve got a rising suspicion that people were talking around backstage and you wouldn’t stand for it.

“We gave you a spot on commentary.” Eric says, shifting through papers. You were sure your contract was somewhere in there. “Isn’t that enough for you?"

“No.” You quickly answer. While you tried to be grateful for being on commentary, it’s boring to just watch matches and not get in on the action. “There’s a women’s division here and I want to get in on that.”

It was the whole reason why you jumped ship, truth be told. It’s fun getting involved in others matches and competing with the men, but you wanted to extend your range.

Women’s wrestling doesn’t get as much attention as it deserves. Even when you were in ECW, most of the ‘matches’ weren’t matches. They were cat fights that last 6 seconds. You and Luna’s match was the only official woman’s match in the company, and even then, you two didn’t have a lot of time to do what you wanted.

A lot of your coworkers were upset you were going to jump ship. Especially Raven. He was begging you not to leave, which was rare coming from him.

He eventually stopped begging, which makes you think he’s come to terms with the fact you were leaving. Paul Heyman did his best to make you stay, but it's about time you set your sights on other things.

It wasn’t looking too hot so far, though. Eric looks up at you. “Even if you wanted to, there’s no one for you to wrestle right now. You want to become a Nitro Girl? Know how to dance?”

“No.” You repeat, shaking your head this time. “I can dance, but I don’t wanna be a Nitro Girl.”

“Well, what do you want to do?” Eric exasperatedly asks, setting down the stack of papers. “We’re not getting anywhere here.”

You quickly counter. “I’m trying to get somewhere. Are you not understanding me? What’s the issue?? There’s a whole division! And I’m not in it!”

He pauses for a moment before looking back up at you. “I do understand. It’s hard to not understand you. I told you, you were trying a bit too hard and people were starting to get concerned with your attitude.”

Your attitude? What? You’ve been kind and sweet to everyone backstage so far.

“I don’t have an attitude.” You say. “And I’m nice to everyone here.”

“Listen, don’t shoot the messenger.“ He holds his hands up in defense. “I’m sure you’re a real sweetheart. Unfortuneately, I’ve started to hear otherwise.”

“Color me intrigued. Who’s been saying those things?”

Before he could answer you, the door opens and in comes Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. At the sight of you sitting down, bright smiles grow on their faces.

“Hey, chica,” Scott says, taking a toothpick out of his mouth. “You’re just the person we’ve been looking for.”

“Glad both of you are in one place.” Kevin says. “We’ve got an offer that’ll work out for all of us…”

And it was just history after that. This storyline saved you from possibly tanking and the NWO gaining more popularity. Were they listening from outside of the door? Possibly. Would they confirm? No. Would they deny?? No.

It was easy for you to become closer with Kevin and Scott. All of your personalities just flow like water together. Eric Bischoff was glad he made the decision in the end, especially since you three were bringing him more money at the end of the day.

You three had gotten so close, that the first promotional picture you took was the three of you in matching red and black gear.

You really liked that photo. So much so, you decided to frame it and put it on your wall with the rest of them. Some would say it’s conceited to display photos of yourself, but who really cares? No one ever tells you those things.

….Actually, Kevin does. Every time he and Scott drop by your home, he always comments on your pictures, then falls asleep on your couch like the heathen he is.

Somehow he manages to hear every little thing in the house. If you turn the television off, he’d shoot up and say he’s watching it like an old man.

Scott’s always been a friendlier house guest. Sometimes he’d bring you housewarming gifts, but you can’t say he’s not like Kevin, he does immediately goes to sleep in your recliner chair. It’s his favorite spot.

Those housewarming gifts reminds you of the time he brought you the absolute ugliest glass vase you’ve ever seen. It was so bad. The colors clashed with each other, the shape was weirder than a normal vase, and you weren’t entirely sure if flowers would even look good in it.

You still accepted it though. It’s your shitty little vase. You will love and cherish it forever.

HOWEVER, even though they treated you with respect, they weren’t exactly the best at treating your house with respect.

You knew Kevin and Scott were quite the socialites. You met new people everyday thanks to them. They’d drag you to parties and bars, just about anything that was a big event. If anyone from ECW knew, they’d be incredibly jealous that you’re going out with them.

The one time you let them host something at your house was a disaster. A big disaster.

Kevin insisted you get pizza that night, so that’s exactly what you did. You were confused when he ordered like 10 of them. He said it was a small event. It must’ve been a mistake, but you’ll be damned if you pass on free pizzas. Now you don’t have to cook for a while!

You’re going to have to make two trips, which was kinda annoying but oh well. It is what is is. You’re only holding four pizzas, so it’s a little difficult to see in front of you.

Once you open the door, you’re greeted with loud music. What is happening? No one’s in here singing kumbaya right now….

You really hope your neighbors haven’t called the police. You assume it’s safe since you pulled in the driveway with no cop car sitting there, but holy shit, this is REALLY LOUD. You're not even sure what to do. All you can do is stand at the front of your door, pizzas in hand.

Your eyes dart around to some of your coworkers and people you didn’t even know. What the hell can you do?!

“Heyyy, mamacita! You saved us! We’re dyin’ from hunger here!” The voice makes you come back to Earth, turning your head to the left. It’s Eddie Guerrero strutting towards you while wearing sunglasses inside. Huh…

He grins at you before opening a pizza box. “Pepperoni, eh? Got anything else? Tastes too plain to me.”

“Just—“ You sigh, literally giving him all four boxes. “Take it all. It’s all yours. I don’t know what’s on the rest.” You’re too exasperated to even start another conversation. You need everyone to get the hell out of here first.

You leave him to walk over to a blonde woman who was chatting it up with other people. “Hey, excuse me…who are you?”

She looked familiar, but you couldn’t place a name on her.

The woman turns to you, drink in hand. There’s no animosity on her face, just a big smile. “Oh, I’m Torrie. Are you friends with Kevin too? I gotta say, when he invited me here, I was surprised. I’m having a good time! And this house is huge! Whoever is the owner really outdid themselves.”

….You really don’t care. “I see. You could say I’m a friend. I have to ask, have you seen him around anywhere? Or if you know him, have you seen Scott Hall?"

“Hmm, I saw him earlier, but I’m not sure where he went. I think I saw the other guy you were talking about over there.” She says, motioning over to the corner with her free hand. "I keep hearing his name."

You nod, thanking her quickly before letting out a sigh. "...Fun fact, I'm the owner of this house. I need all of you to get out of-"

“Catch!” You hear someone yell. You immediately snap your head over to see two people playing catch with your vase. Not just any vase, THE SHITTY VASE! Now it’s certified that everyone’s gotta get the hell out.

“Stop! Stop throwing the damn vase!” You yell at them. They listen luckily. Before you make your big announcement, you needed to find at least one of your boys. Your ears are starting to ring from this music.

You found Scott first. He was entertaining some ladies, but he immediately shoo’d them away once he got sight of you. You were fuming, so much so that Scott started to feel scared of you. The words; “what’s wrong, chica—“ had barely left his mouth before he let out a whistle at your expression.

You point a finger at him. The smile that appears on your face scares him even worse. “Scott, you know I love you, right?”

“Yeah…?” This is probably the first time you’ve heard his voice laced with uncertainty.

“Great. Everyone needs to get the hell out. You tell me where Kevin is, I’ll let you stay.”

Scott knew that snitches get stitches, but it’s every man for himself. He’s never snitched any faster in his life.

After that fiasco, Kevin very profusely apologized to you. He repeatedly told you he wouldn’t do it again, all the while the person who betrayed him stood and watch the drama unfold. Fortunately, he’s kept true to his word.

These days he and Scott just drop by for some simple hospitality and to travel together for the show.

Your mother would probably chew you out if she knew how lenient you were these days. She’d just have to understand that they’re your friends, so of course you’d help them out every now and then.

Truth be told, you actually enjoyed the company. It made your home a lot less lonelier. There was a time where you had no visitors when you were in the midst of jumping from promotion to promotion. You weren’t sure if you liked the silence or not…

Save it for another time. Thinking back on the past is fun, but the present is what truly matters.

You’re backstage, idly pacing around as you glance towards the small television screen every so often. There’s a segment with Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan going on, something that you found incredibly boring.

They didn’t give you any matches today. It was more than likely because the men were mostly dominating the card. You just wanted to punch the wall.

Eric had recently said you were going to get more involved, but so far it’s looking like that’s not the case...ugh.

Both Kevin and Scott were backstage with you, not ready in the slightest. Meanwhile, you were already ready and raring to go. On cue, you were supposed to interject in honor of the Wolfpac. The other two would come out later to defend you.

Kevin’s too busy on the phone to pay attention to the segment. “Yeah, man. Scary woman. She’ll kill you if you even look at her wrong.”

“What’re you talking about?” You ask, turning around. “Where’s Scott?”

He waves you off, then motions towards the bathroom. “Yeah. Nah, that’s not it. She’s a sweetheart.”

“Alright then.” You wonder who he's talking about. All you can assume is that Scott's fixing up his hair.

“That Wolfpac trio has been causing nothing but trouble lately, brother.” Hogan says. Eric’s holding the mic for him, so he’s making as many exaggerated hand movements as he can.

Hogan was running his mouth about how bad things have been lately within the company. The mention of your name makes you turn back around.

“They’re a disgrace to the New World Order’s name. NWO Hollywood is where it’s at! You lost half of your members, so now you’re nothing but wannabe superstars. If you jabroni's think you can get the best of my group, you’ve got another thing coming. I think we should fire them, fire them all. Especially that [Name] girl. She’s been poking her nose where it shouldn’t be.”

That was the straw that broke the camels back. You’re going out there. You stomp over towards the door, throwing it open and storming out.

You could hear your name being called, yet you don't stop walking.

You’ve had enough. It’s like high school all over again. People gossiping and whining for no reason. You have a rising suspicion that Hogan’s the one at fault for everything. Before you head out there, you make sure to get a mic from a staff member.

There’s no music, no nothing. You’re just here to set the record straight. For a second, the lights of the stage almost blind you, but your eyes slowly adjust.

Standing at the center of the stage, there’s a hint of a smile on your face as you hear the crowd cheer at your appearance. You haven’t even said anything yet. You hold up your hand, making the crowd quiet down so that you can actually speak.

“Hulk Hogan, you are FOURTY-FOUR YEARS OLD. You’re waaaay too old to be acting like this. Newsflash, it’s not the 80’s anymore. It’s time for you to retire.”

The crowd is still surprised that you even had the gall to come out here.

“And you talk about me,” You say, making your way down the ramp. “I think we should start talking about you. No one wants to hear the saaame oldddd jarrgoonnn.” The moment you get to the ring, you hop on the apron, not getting inside just yet. “Eric Bischoff goes on and on about how amazing Hogan is and he literally does absolutely nothing! I’m tired of it!”

Hogan takes the mic away from Eric, adjusting his title on his shoulder. “No one’s tired of HOLLYWOOD! All my NWOites love to see me on TV. They don’t want to see a woman here, let alone one that’s not a champion.”

“What they don’t want to see is a wrestler who should’ve retired about seven years ago. And for your information, I’d be a wonderful champion.“ You finally go under the ropes to get in the ring.

“I wouldn’t desecrate the championship like you did." The spray painted 'NWO' on the title was completely noticeable. Out of line, too. "In fact, why fire me? I’m a rising star. Once I get my hands on the Women’s Championship, your daughter can finally have a real role model to look up to.”

Hogan is surprised you’d go that far, bringing his own daughter into this. “You take that back.”

“Or what?” You’re not scared of him or Bischoff, and you kept the smug look on your face, which pisses him off even further.

Eric comes in between you two. “Hey now, this is pretty unfair. It’s obvious Hogan’s winning this fight. I mean, what can a woman like you do to the Heavyweight Champion?! I think you need to take a step back, [Name].”

It’s a warning you don’t heed. Instead, you kick you boss right in his shin, the crowd cheering you on. As he’s kneeling down in pain, you take the opportunity to hook your leg over his head and the other around his leg, bringing him right into the Black Widow.

You don’t need to get the heavyweight champion first, you’ll go for his best buddy!

You pull his arm back as humanly possible. Any further and you were sure you’d dislocate it. He wanted to know what a “woman like you” could do? He’ll get the answer.

Just as you see him about to tap, Hogan saves his buddy from getting a broken arm. He pulls you off, making you wrangle in his grasp. Eric falls down to the ground, holding his aching arm in pain. Once Hogan lets you go, you turn around and slap him as hard as you can.

“What’re you gonna do, huh?! Huh?!” You didn’t have your mic, so the crowd couldn’t hear you too well. You’re still talking trash though. “Hit me! I dare you!”

The crowd begins to cheer. You didn’t see why until you saw a man was ascending from the rafters. Once his feet hit the ring, you look at him in surprise. Hogan hadn’t noticed him yet, but he’s looming right behind him.

It’s Sting, the man who’s been watching you for the past few weeks. He made you crazy and not in the good way. You repeatedly told Kevin and Scott the walls had eyes, which made them glance at each other as if you were actually insane.

You’re swear you’re not. You knew he was watching you everywhere. Whether it be backstage or in the ring, Sting’s always just….there. Even when you’re in the same room, he never says anything. Just stares and walks away.

It’s not surprising he came out here. More than likely he wanted to try and save you. You didn’t need saving. You were just about to beat the shit out of Hogan for even interrupting your submission hold.

With that black metal bat, he lifts it up and pokes it right in his back. Hogan freezes in place and the crowd is losing their mind. Rearing his bat back, Sting quickly strikes him.

Hogan falls down in pain and you back up. Even if Sting wanted to “save you” the man was definitely unpredictable. You can see Eric scrambling out of the ring in the corner of your eye.

Sting lifts Hogan back up and Death Drop’s him right back down with ease. You flinch at the sound of them colliding with the mat. He gets up and turns his head towards you.

You point a finger toward him, almost warning him that if he comes any closer, he’ll get what’s coming to him. Where the hell was Kevin and Scott?! They completely abandoned you out here. They were supposed to run out and say a few things, but there’s no sign of them.

Sting starts walking closer to you. You feel your back hit the turnbuckle and you change your finger into your palm, waving it at him. Even if you feel your hand slowly start to shake as it grips onto the ropes, you don’t back down.

You didn’t want him to notice you’re freaked out. It’s the last thing you wanted him to notice.

With every step he takes, the more you think he’s going to do something. He doesn’t lift his bat, instead letting it drag on the canvas as he comes towards you. The crowd’s on their feet in anticipation. Would you get the same fate as Hogan or would he let you go?

He drops the bat. You can barely hear the sound of it hitting the mat due to the crowd yelling.

“I’ve got a knife in my pocket!” You say. He doesn’t say anything as he still corners you. “I’ve got mace too!” Nothing deters him, he just stares at you while you’re in the corner.

You were already starting to think of an escape plan. Something that’ll catch him off guard and hopefully give you enough time to escape. Maybe even give enough time for Kevin and Scott to get out here.

Drastic times means desperate measures. You grab his face and pull him closer to kiss him. The crowd erupts in cheers and you don’t feel Sting make any moves. It’s almost like he’s never kissed anyone before, but it’s hard to function when you’re busy trying to shove your tongue in his mouth.

Just in time, Kevin and Scott come rushing down the ramp, with the latter sliding into the ring with a chair and slamming Sting in the back with it. He slumps over, shifting most of his weight onto you.

Scott comes over and pulls him off, taking one glance at you to see if you’re alright. There’s a mix of your own red lipstick and Sting’s black lipstick smudged on your lips, and there’s a few spots of white paint on your face. Yeah, you’re fine. And he’s not talking about your looks.

Hey, at least he can proceed to beat the shit out of Sting! He’s glad he has a reason to straighten him out, especially since it had to deal with you. Kevin on the outside of the ring opens his arms, telling you to come over.

You hop under the ring ropes happily and he takes it upon himself to throw you over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. “Off we go.” He chimed. It literally felt like you were on a skyscraper, god damn.

“Where the hell were you guys?! I’m pretty sure you missed your cue.”

“We got distracted. You were the one who stormed outta there first, so we thought you could handle it.” Kevin explains. He roughly changes the way he carries you, bringing you down into bridal style. At least you could hear him a bit better now. "Had to hang up my phone call and everything.”

Got distracted by what exactly?! They could see the television, what were they waiting for! You roll your eyes. “Whatever.”

“Don’t be mad.” He says with a grin. “We’re here now, princess." For a moment, he turns around to the ring, holding up a strange symbol with his free hand.

Scott finishes the job, sliding out of the ring and tossing the chair to god knows where. Kevin finally puts you down, so you shuffle over to be in the middle of them and raise their hands in victory.

You hope this was a message for Sting to stop following you all over the place and messing with your head. But you're also hoping Eric and Hogan understand that you're not one to be fucked with.

Being here was strange. It's a new world. Certain fans knew who you were, but many others did not. All you can wish for is that this run comes with peace and a LOT of luck.

didn't even save it as a draft this time i just hoped for the best. i still hope you guys enjoy, i will try and make the next flashbacks longer, and the next one after this will prob be a timeskip because there's not much for reader to do that night, if it makes sense. im gonna eat more cereal

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