#the things i do for a pathetic white man..... smh

[soldier-poet-king]

The things I do for a dumb fop of a man*

*play a black eagles route in three hopes bc Ferdinand isn't recruitable in this game in any other route

#literally. love the black eagles students. fuckin HATE this route #i GET where edelgard is coming from re. tortured backstory and corrupt institutions #but the violence of it all #normally i love sad backstory does crimes. but she tramples EVERYONE in her path #and the other two routes are RIGHT there! dimitri is perfect sad boi does crimes #but feels Bad about it. and cares for his ppl #there has to be an element of atonement and redemption #and edelgard just doesnt have one and it srives me insane. her ending is just like. yes i will start a war in the name of my ideals #and she should not be vindicated for it!!! #the things i do for a pathetic white man..... smh #i finished azure gleam yesterday and it was just. clenches fist. so good #we love a depressed goodhearted monster king #and FELIX MY BELOVED he really shone in this one as the duke #and dimis righthand man

[treason-and-plot]

REPLIES TO SAFFY LAMBASTING LIAM

@windermeresimblr

Wow! There's Saffy's backbone.

Yeah she's not known for holding back!

@drudragonrose

She's with a boy her own age that she actually likes. Be gone worm!

@ivorycrayon

Man, you write shades of grey so well. It’s hard to root for anybody, but it’s also hard to condemn anybody completely because all your characters’ actions are way too complex. “He’s wrong but..” “She shouldn’t have to deal with this but..” I could use your characters if I ever taught ethics class 😂 (except for Anita, that is, I always struggle to find any redeeming qualities in that lady :P)

Thank you so much Ash! I love writing morally grey characters who have questionable (but hopefully relatable) motives so it's extremely heartening to read your comment. And I love how steadfast you've always been in your opinion of Anita, lol!

@keoni-chan

I don't like this one bit. I hope Liam's brand new backbone doesn't evolve into an "if I can't have you..."-situation 😱

who knows what might have happened if fate hadn't intervened....

@dresdendarlin

Oooh it’s his snapping moment. He’s gonna do something drastic and crazier next.

@batsheba

Ok, now let's see if he, the creep Liam, can process this information?! Whatever happens I hope Saffy will be ok... I'm worried Liam will do something utterly stupid and potentially dangerous.

@oasislandingresident

Ooooh shit's about to go down!!! 🍿

@kimmiessimmies

I'm with @batsheba, this is not going to go down well with Liam...

@wannabecatwriter

Be careful, Saffron. He's in a weird mindstate now.

@bool-prop

Oh no. He's going to snap.

@muses-circle

🤦

@muses-circle

Liam will either have a meltdown right there, in the parking lot, or he'll wait until he's in the middle of class and doing something worse. I'm worried about what his breaking point will look like.

@muses-circle

And Saffron, men DO leave their wives. It's call divorce, honey. Life isn't as black and white as you think.

I didn't write Saffy's speech very well...what she was trying to say was that it's a well-known fact that married men never leave their wives for their side-pieces! She was actually quite enraged that Liam turned out to be the statistical anomaly, lol. That was the last thing she wanted to happen!

@echoweaver

Woo. Saffron's right, but wow she's still got so much growing up to do. OTOH, Liam seemed to be with her in large part because she verbally abused him. It's such a messed up puppy.

Yeah, he seems to derive a perverse satisfaction from being the victim and indulging in self-defeating behaviour. It's also not an accident that the two women in his life routinely humiliate and criticise him.😬

@sweetnovember77

Saffy's words can devastate ANYONE with strong emotions toward another person. It's like a knife to the heart.

Yeah, Saffy can be very acid-tongued. He probably deserved the wake up call but Saffy can count herself very lucky he didn't snap or do something as drastic as Stephanie.

@anamoon63

😮 This is not going to end well. I wish Saffy had been a little more diplomatic. 😔

It definitely did not end well, but fortunately for Saffy she was not the one who was impacted the most! I hope at the very least she learns some important life lessons from this whole sorry experience.

@simsaralove

I really hope this will make Mr. Yucky realize he better go live in the Twinbrook swamps and not make him do something stupid and ruin Saffy’s happiness 😭

@justanothersimsblog

I'd tell her to slap him but I think he likes that so... maybe knee him in the balls then lol

lol he is such a pathetic masochist that he would probably enjoy that too!😆

@greywardenconsort

He's a monster thru & thru

A sad, spineless, loser monster.

@streetlites

That's gotta sting. Bwahahah. Also, what did he think she was going to do? Leap into his arms? She was never like that toward him to begin with.

@mysimsloveaffair

They are both better off without each other. Saffy is doing him a favor and he doesn't even know it. SMH

Liam was always doomed by his poor life decisions and victim mentality. I'm also thinking that it was possible he had affairs as a passive-aggressive form of revenge, but didn't count on falling so heavily for Saffy. In any case, I think he got what he deserved.

#reply post #replies #gif warning #lots of gifs

[papirouge]

not me having seen that TikTok of that white woman (quantumshifting btw) who’s defending kanye by saying he’s Jesus that he’s God here on the earth to fulfill his mission about the Jews and using Christianity to support her pov like 💀

SMH this brand of "Christians" are the same who will accept the antichrist as their savior with open arms. This Kanye messiah thing is cringe and pathetic. I remember when he started his cult and that Christians with actual brain cells started side eyeing him, his stans were like "YOU JUST HATE HIM BC HE'S RICH AND YOU CHRISTIAN JUST HATE PEOPLE WHO ARE SUCCESSFUL!!" Hm, no. We were perplexed bc the Bible is clear that becoming a church leader asks a definite prerequisite set of skills, behaviors and experience (i.e the book of Timothy) that Kanye never bothered to live up to, even to this day. He just assumed that bc he was rich famous and talented he could override all of this and start his cult. I'm genuinely embarrassed by all the people who fought nail and tooth to edify him as some sort of prodigal son when this was only a stunt in his career. He was still married to a harlot witch family and was forced into divorce just bc his wife decided to do so. Even today he's still seething about it and is harassing her bc she had the audacity to leave him and protect their children from his lunacy. As demonic the Kardashians are, people are biased with Kanye because of this whole "survived the sunken place" thing but the truth is, he's a mentally ill confused man who's yet to accept to leave the mundanities of this world to fully embrace Jesus. He was still dating a crackhead it-girl a few months ago.... How is any of that Christian? technically, that's adultery. How is any of this adequate behavior from a church leader?

Many people hate the Kardashians that's why they took Kanye's side, but Kanye is the one who decided to marry into the Koven and have these kids with this White woman - and here he is whining about White supremacy just bc she left him..... SMH NGL it was hilarious to see him seethe at she (PR) dating Pete Davidson, and whining that nobody was here to defend him his grown adult self just bc his ex wife was dating a White boy lmao Deep down, Kanye WISHES he was a White man for society to have a better tolerance to his shenanigans....but he's not. Never will. He's just a corny Black man begging acceptance from the Whites ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ He made his bed, now he has to lie in it. Now that the Jews finished him he's gonna be even more isolated. Even white conservatives are starting to take their distances. The only one who keep supporting him are black hoteps (who consider him like the Black Elon Musk) and antisemitic White supremacists LMAO Tragic

Btw, don't you find interesting that when Kanye did his "White Lives Matter "tees stunt, none of these white conservative argued back aLl LivEs mAtTeR!!!! like they did whenever someone was supporting BLM? lmao They've shown their butt BIG TIME and admitted they only wanted to shut down the support of black community (also note they never had the same energy to hijack other racial defense movement such as stop Asian hate for example. No, they specifically want the Blacks to shut up). And I myself not even fond of BLM bc it quickly got hijacked by parasites and became a self victimizing cashgrab (everyone with a brain grasps that grassroot BLM ≠ mainstream BLM, though), but yeah, this hypocrisy is very revealing. And inb4 "but BLM was supporting thugs and criminal!!" let's not act like conservatives have any issues supporting/defending known criminals and predators and whine about "cancel culture " whenever they get busted, so miss me with this crap.

#answered

[starrierknight]

ME TOO cocky men with white hair have me on such a chokehold it's crazy. nd mammon is also like...... pathetic, which makes him five times better. he has this whole thing where he loves u since like day 2 but he'd rather die than admit it but also the second anyone looks at u he gets sad nd angry about it i go crazy about him

i'm gonna be honest i skipped through the game rules. u tap the hearts nd when they're all charged u tap the little guys nd u win that's all i got nd all i do nd so far it's worked very well

DIAVOLO DUDEE gotta be 100% honest i do not give a fuck about the brothers romantically, only mammon (<- 💓💖💕💞🎀💘) but i need díavolo so bad it's crazy .it's even worse cause i thought since u can basically smooch the entire cast u would also be able to fuck díavolo and then the game was like "nope sorry not that one" like fuck that!! give me the hot strong polite nice man!!! i want him!!!!!

your devotion to Mammon is impressive and concerning and awe-inspiring. I love it. keep up the good work babe I'm proud 💪🏻💯🔥🗣️

PLSSSSS HAHAHAHAHA I GET IT!!!! men fictional men are there to be lusted after rather than pined over 😭 I feel the Mammon > Diavlo > everyone else pref HARDDDD. and wtf??? not the game devs cockblocking you? honestly, can't lesbians have anything??? 🙄

and omg... on the topic of cocky white haired men.... let me present to you my guilty pleasure one....

this is Sage Lesath from Last Legacy, which is a story you can play on Fictif.... bro. when I tell you that he rotted my brain for about 3 months straight last year...... it was crazy

I need this catboy mercenary carnally bro you do not understand. he's so tragic and so traumatised and so sexy and so so so.... yeah

but GET THIS⁉️🙄 the whole ass Fictif app basically got discontinued so every fucking story doesn't get finished!!!! and his story ended on a massive cliffhanger smh.... I'm so salty about it. at least you get to make out with him and (implied) fuck him. there's that

but ugh it's so annoying bc the fandom for Last Legacy is pretty dead and nearly nonexistent, so there's hardly enough good out there for him!!!!!!! it's even worse bc... I am such a picky content consumer, so there's nothing that comes close to catering to my taste fklfhsdjgllf.... icl I've considered writing for him but I just. I don't have the mental fortitude to be in a zombie fandom LOL

#anywau sorry for going on a massive rant/tangent that you did not ask for #but i simply had to say it idk! #[ ✉ ] — reece's mail #[ ☄ ] — dearest bunny

[semi-imaginary-place]

naruto blogging part 4: i can't believe im starting to like itachi, he's so pathetic. sasuke has 1 braincell and its just constantly screaming murder, he's so stupid.

576 itachi is the worst at communicating. he just says stuff and never elaborates or explains, no wonder sasuke is like this. here's sasuke trying to make sense of things and get some closure and itachi's like im not explaining nothing.

579 their susanoo each have the half ribcage with the two together forming a whole. i also noticed it earlier that the hood part of the 3rd susanoo layer has another set of eye holes making 4 pair of eyes total in a complete eternal mangekyo sharingan susanoo.

591 he is no longer asking for forgiveness and actually telling the truth. good scene.

Literally brought neji back for 1 chapter to kill him off and then forgets about team gai immediately after.

he's talking like his dog threw up on the carpet again.

Naruto has become a kaiju series again.

I can't believe every problem in the shinobi world could have been fixed if hashirama and madara had kissed.

i found it, the worst haircut in the manga.

literally changing his mind every 3 days he really does not think, all emotions zero thoughts.

Tsunade gets bisected and left there for an hour but neji dies instantly from a stab. smh

654-655 hell yeah power of friendship

is hashirama just cancer??? immortal cells, reproduces like crazy, endless regeneration, weird shape. made the tree made the white zetsus made half a tobi body made narutos arm. and the titty face

wait a moment didn't madara and kabutoo say earlier that his edo tensei had revived madara at full strength. so he just gave up resurrective immortality and indestructibility for uh nothing maybe a slight powerup? idk man the obito fight could have been a good final battle. madara feels like clean up

im still not over madara chatting with hashirama while he's got hashirama's face on his tit

madara put obito's right eye in the left socket. what. actually im probably the fool fro trying to make sense of thing naruto never made sense to begin with. wait not obito's eye. madara implanted his eyes in nagato. tobi was the one who collected nagato's corpse. wait then why did madara only get one eye back. oh obito was using the other eye. things make sense for once

if octopus got extracted how;s B not dead

661 the blatant excuse to give sasuke a new powerup. freeing hashirama is so much more useful given he's built up as the most powerful person ever.

ch 661 Speaking of madara the foiling is obvious. the dude who gave up on reality and tried to do everything himself. someone pointed out something interesting, given sasuke's resemblance to izuna, madara stabbing him through the heart gives an extra layer of depth. Madara repeats hashirama's line from when hashirama stabbed madara in the heart in the og vote battle, and so in killing sasuke he is metaphorically killing both his brother and child (in the sense that sasuke's an uchiha boy)

663 this is like the worst medical practice i have seen yet. have you heard of compressions??? a defibrillator???

an interesting ending would have been to remove chakra from the world. but learning to live in a world of chakra is equally interesting

#naruto

[iravaid]

Character meme - LaCroix, obviously. If he has already been picked, how about Mercurio?

heehee hell yeah >:)

Favourite thing about them:

Absolutely love his slow devolution into both obsession and madness, as the game slowly reveals just how loathed and isolated LaCroix really is in a city he’s supposed to be ruling over. It’s really compelling and interesting and I think a lot can be extrapolated about his background, inner thoughts, and emotions that the game plays straight, no big twists like he was actually the good guy or w/e, just a wretched, pathetic little bastard til the end, and that’s something I really love lmao, lots to play around with. The way everything culminates with his staring at the sarcophagus and just Watching the timer tick down while he starts laughing? delicious. love it

Least favourite thing about them:

White Wolf/Troika does a Lot to emasculate him and like. portray less masculine men as a joke or laughing stock and there are parts where the fans etc can make it work but like. hmg. concerning. 

Favourite line:

lmao it’s between ‘STOLEN? HOW! GARY. Gary you TREASONOUS MAGGOT. I should have anticipated your TREACHERY, SEWER RAT’ like. go off i guess akjdfjsd, big up to his va for such a solid job at portraying LaCroix, he really brought a lot of depth to LaCroix with his performance. 

or, 

‘Did you ever think about what it takes to live as long as I have, to come this far?’, like. shit. hell yeah, what have you Done little man? what wretched crimes and humiliations have you committed and suffered through to get to this point both as a Prince and as a person. What were you like before you were embraced, a coward? a hero? how rotted is your soul for you to do such things.

brOTP:

Him and the Sheriff and him and Mercurio are definitely up there as fun dynamics that can go multiple ways and it’s Very fun to imagine more comradeship between them. But also. maybe. With Skelter, another veteran. If they manage to either ignore or see past political allegiances and hostility, which is uh. difficult lmao

OTP:

You probably haven’t heard of it but LaCroix / Nines is pretty fun,,,, It’s a pretty niche ship and idk if anyone has hear me talking about it or anything 💅🙄

nOTP:

I’m usually squicked out by any ship that portrays LaCroix as an abuser/manipulator. It’s a valid read of his character but not one I want to consume, really. other than that; probably him and Cross, but i’ve talked about not rlly vibing with that ship before

Random headcanon:

Had two older brothers who died in different campaigns and a young sister who was born via surrogate when he was about 19. She’s all that’s left of the La Croix line and LaCroix never managed to find her when he was free to search. She just kind of disappeared, with his and his brothers’ things ending up in the Napoleonic sections of museums around Europe and NA, including LaCroix’s journal from that time. 

Unpopular opinion:

Woobifying LaCroix would be so so easy and if the fan circle for VtMB gets a bit bigger/full of people who kind of impress their own pre-set fandomification onto different characters without like actually investing or thinking critically about it, I’m v concerned that that will happen lmao. It does a disservice to both his character and his actions in the story.

Song I associate with them:

I will do this in three parts because I have too too too many thoughts about this wretched vampire

Canon LaCroix - Werewolf Gimmick, Be Nice To Me, Little Lion Man

Sabbat LaCroix - Crucified, Lion, A Burning Hill (gets immensely fucked up by the SI)

Malkavian LaCroix - Piano Man, I Bet On Losing Dogs, Little Dark Age

Favourite picture of them:

I don’t have it on me but the one where he’s grimacing like the banana cat. Also the one where he’s got his stupid neck Stabbed and he’s just sitting there gagging on his blood smh 🙄

#something something yeah i know the song choices are red flags i don't have TASTE #ask #lacroix vtm #sebastian lacroix #vtm #vtmb #vampire the masquerade #vampire the masquerade bloodlines #sabbat lacroix au #malkavian lacroix au #vtmbposting

[cmivr]

[ HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE SPOILERS ]⠀hhhi i shifted to camilo's moving castle last night so that was pog have a storytime of the first day i was there <333 - @merymikey @madrigl @fgdsshgsdf @tyngluv @fluffy-the-satyr

♡⠀( i scripted that my dr would take place over the span of a few weeks rather than like a few days in the original movie- i also scripted that like,, i wouldn't remember what i scripted?? so everything would be a surprise for me in my dr, and i could act of my own accord )

♡⠀i woke up in the hat shop!! it was really cute and pretty, damn, i was also really cute and pretty JNSJNAJAN it was really cool, i could smell the smoke from the train and the fabrics and the strong ass perfume of my adoptive mom and co-workers outside,, the whole chit chatting scene from the movie happened and a few mins later i walked home

♡⠀two douches approached me and started flirting with me, i got really uncomfy, blah blah blah, then wowowjosjijwojw an arm wraps around my shoulders

♡⠀he wasn't soft-spoken like howl was in the movie 😔. was not graceful or subtle in the slightest, mf literally stumbled forward, and put almost all his weight on me, and was super fucking LOUD ANAJAN

"heyyy!! lay off on the pretty little lady guys!" the guards quirked a brow at the young man, the redhead speaking up; "who are you-" he let out a giggle "none of your business, now be on your merry way!"

♡⠀HE WAS SO PRETTY SJAAJNAAA his hair was a bit longer? he looked the same- but like,,, ugh,,, the black skinny jeans(??),, the rings,,, the tiny heart earrings,,, the really fuckin oversized white shirt JHSNDE!?!?!?!? and then i was interrupted with a "like what you see?" smh 💀👊

♡⠀the big black blob guys started chasing us and he rolled his eyes like "oh my fucking GOD it's them again, let's go" and i was just confused as fuck like TANGINA NADAMAY PA AKO?? he took me to an intersection in the alleyway, they were coming from all directions and WOOSH!!! HE TOOK ME UP INTO THE SKY AND I ALMOST CRIED

♡⠀he helped me calm down and walk in the air properly, and he was very gentle ajnsjdne he had an arm wrapped around my waist and the wind was lightly blowing through his hair ack ang pogi shet 🤤. he was like "you're doing great, good job" and my heart was going JNUHSIJIJ019u91i!(U!((!)(@!>

♡⠀and then he dropped me off in the balcony of my family's bakery / mansion,, and he gave me this BIG TOOTHY GRIN UGHFHDH AND was like

"i'll draw em off, don't worry! though you might wanna wait a little before heading back out" his thumb caressed over the back of my hand in a soothing manner "o...okay.. thank you.." "that's my girl" he flashed me a smirk, and with a swish of his cape, he was out of sight

♡⠀i just stood there for a good 2 minutes,,,, like,, crying,,,, 🤩🤩🤩

♡⠀anyways i spoke with my sister lettie and she was,, blonde,, pretty,, really neat and wearing pink poofy clothes, basically the opposite of me, but she was really nice to me!! she genuinely cared and kept fussing about the guy who walked me through the sky to my balcony, and saying like if it were camilo, i might've been dead--

♡⠀blah blah blah, we had a nice talk- i went back to my lil hat shop,, it was like 10pm by then and some LADY!?!?!? BREAKS INTO MY SHOP. i was scared. like really fuckin scared she was belittling me, insulting me, and then saying something about camilo paying her a visit and then SHE DID STH TO ME, and next thing i know she was gone and i'm an old fucking hag 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

♡⠀GUYS PLS CHERISH AND RESPECT UR GRANDPARENTS OMFG IT IS SO HARD AND SO SCARY BEING OLD JWNAJNAJA MY BACK WAS SO PAINFUL,, I WAS SO SLOW AND I FELT SO WEAK IT WAS NOT FUN AT ALL,,

♡⠀i considered like,, running away or spending the night at my shop,, but like idk how long the spell would last, i had no money, no food, i couldn't hide from them forever!! so i HAD TO WALK HOME IN A BIG ASS BLANKET TO HIDE MYSELF FROM MY FAMILY JANJANJAA IT WAS PATHETIC

♡⠀took me about an hour and a half to get back home, and by the time i was there i already like, started packing because i knew i needed to like break the curse and shit because i am an independent woman / senior citizen 💀💀💀💥 and yes i fell alseep crying bc wow lowkey traumatic shit

jnajasnjasnj do i do another part,, i don't really have too much to share from that dr since i only spent a week there so far 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

#.cmc #.🍓 #shifting #reality shifting #encanto #camilo madrigal #camilo madrigal x reader #camilo my beloved #camilo x reader #camilo fluff

[jangofctts]

Ma’am I’m dying out here. It’s always “Void will wreck you in the fresher” and “Void has the third best stroke game of the squad” but never “Here I wrote a lil blurb of Void wrecking your shit”

Please I need we need it

smH YOURE RIGHT IVE BEEN DENYING YALL KJEKEJH

ct-7775 void // fem!reader

warnings: shower sex 

You’re not quite sure when this became a regular occurrence--a couple months ago you think. Sorta like date night, except in the fresher...naked and undoubtedly against regulations. That’s what makes it fun you suppose--a little late night thrill.   

Not like anyone would find you, you specifically chose time slots around midnight so you’d have the entire fresher block to yourself--an ingenious idea and totally worth waking up with wet hair in the morning. You just--well you didn't expect someone else to have the same idea. Safe to say it was a little jarring to cross paths naked and afraid, soaped up and scrambling for a towel with Sunburst squadron’s finest and only medic. Void. 

To be fair, he hadn't even seen you. It was the end of your shift, tunnel vision on one thing, and one thing only. A nice hot fresher and certainly not a naked you. 

With neither of you willing to budge and shuffle around schedules, you came to the brilliant conclusion that you could both shower at the same times--just so long as you both kept your eyes to yourselves. Funny how that rule barely lasted two weeks.    

Safe to say, it’s been the best sex you’ve ever had. And all done in a fresher for kriff’s sake. 

Once or twice every week you have Void all to yourself--that permanent scowl and grumpy mannerisms washing away with the flow of water and the warmth of your skin. A completely different man--one briefly unburdened with the weight of keeping his brothers alive and well just to send them off to battle the next day. You don’t mind being his distraction--as fleeting as it may be.   

Tonight is no different as the solid line of his body slips in behind you, filling in the limited amount of space left in the tiny space. And you mean tiny. You can move without challenging your flexibility or banging your elbows and knees against the walls.

The touch of Void’s palm over your ribcage pulls a pleased sigh from your lungs. His fingers tickle up your shoulder blade and sweeps your hair, plastered to the nape of your neck, to the side. “Let me see you...”

You turn without hesitation, giggling as Void’s hand cups your cheek, his thumbs jumping up to smooth down your eyebrows and wick away the rivulets of water. Before you have the chance to greet him, Void tugs you forward into a deep, toe-curling kiss, shuddering as the cool durasteel of the wall touches your back. You break away and place your palm over his cheek. leans into your palm and smiles as your thumb lands right over the little blue dot tattooed onto his cheek.

“How was it today?”

“Sweets got a splinter and Fuse burned himself playing with matches again.” Void grumbles, sliding his other hand up to cup one of your breasts. He pinches your nipple and rolls it between his forefinger and thumb, plucking out a gasp from your parted lips. “All I could think about was you--always distractin’ me.”  

You roll your eyes. “Boohoo--baby is distracted by my tits. You’re lucky I like you.”  

Void buries his face into the crook of your neck, nips at your ear and hooks his arm around your waist. “Mhm. If I accidentally kill someone, s’because of you.”  

You slide your fingers through his hair, a bit long once it’s wet and free from his headband--you give the strands a playful jostle. Void tilts his head, skims his lips over the line of jaw and steals another kiss--when he pulls away he hesitates here for a moment--simply drinking in the shape of you, every freckle and little wrinkle, grafting it into his memory for eternity. It’s a two way mirror however--

The bags under his eyes, like two swaths of purpling bruisers, are worse than last week and Maker--do they ever give this man a break? “Void--when’s the last time you slept?”

He blinks rapidly and shoves his head back into the crux of your shoulder to avoid your scrutiny. “Don’t worry about it.”

You frown. You’ll push him about it later, because right now? He’s trailing tiny, addicting kisses from your shoulder up to your ear, your blood already singing even though the chaste pecks border innocent. You gasp as those kisses morph into nips, sucking sure to be bruises into the flesh, marking you just below the line of where the collar of your uniform ends.

The arm around your waist skims further down, grabbing a handful of your ass and roughly squeezing.  You whimper, curling further into his hold as liquid heat races from the pit of your stomach and outward to each and every limb. He worms his muscled thigh between your legs, pinning you further against the wall, the hand on your ass snaking back to massage tiny circles over your thigh. You whimper and thread your fingers into the wet strands of his hair, arching into his chest.

“Fuck--you’re a vision,” Void pants, “So beautiful.”  

He moans low in the back of his throat as your hand gently encompasses his cock, thick and swelling to its full length in your palm. “I could say the same about you, handsome.”

 Void shudders and sags into your hold, huffing out curses and roughly parting your thighs further apart. You whine and press your head into the wall as he hikes your thigh up and around his hip. He then slides two of those thick, calloused fingers pass over your clit, throbbing and aching to be touched. Your own slick mixed with the aide of the water let the two digits glide with ease over your lips, rocking down to circle your clenching entrance then back to lightly trace the little bundle of nerves.

His cock jumps in your grip as you whine his name, needy and desperate as you roll your palm up and down his cock. He curses under his breath, and bites your earlobe. “You want me to fuck you, sweetheart?”

You groan as he pushes a finger into your cunt, the muscles squeezing around him for just a shred of pleasure. “Yes--please, Void--fuck me.”

“Such a filthy mouth.” He chastises with a dark chuckle.

You groan out your frustration as you roll your hips, your nails digging into his bicep to pull him closer. He must take pity on your squirming, pathetic display as he abruptly extracts his finger and drops your thigh. 

Your stomach drops as your bare feet slip off the tiles, yet the heavy muscled weight of Void’s chest pinning you forward saves you from landing ass over heels. He’s stronger than he looks, a fact you’re confronted with as he scoops your knee over his elbow and squishing you further into the wall. “Careful, mesh’la--wouldn’t want a trip to med bay, now would we?”  

You swear and dig you nails into his shoulder, slippery from the water. He grips his cock in one hand and slides the thick head over the wet slit of your cunt, the tip of him catching against your dripping entrance.

You jerk and press your hips back. “V-Void…”

Your breath catches in your throat as the very tip of him, searing hot and harder than tempered steel, pushes into you. It feels the same with each time he fucks you, that pinch and fluttering panic low in your stomach that he’s too big. You squirm and whine as he rocks his hips forward, the little motions seating him deeper into your greedy center. Maker— you think it’ll go on forever, with no room to accommodate him.

“There you go,” he babbles, his breathing a mess of pitchy moans and praise, muffled by the spray of water. “Fuck—such a good girl. Taking it all.”

You shiver despite the temperature of the water, twitching in his hold as the narrow dip of his waist slots against your cunt. Your name flows past his lips, the enamel of his teeth tugging at the fragile skin lining the base of your neck.

Stars— your thoughts are pulverized into dust with the first tentative rolls of his hips. There’s no buildup to the pace he sets or patience as his fingers dig into your ass while the other anchors to the wall. 

It’s a ridiculously short amount of time, you think, as your orgasm creeps down each vertebrae, your cunt clamping down on his cock tighter than a fucking vice. One last roll against your clit and you’re done for. So fucking gone.    

The edges of your entire universe drop off into some unknown mystery--bursts of white light igniting behind your eyelids as you're brought over the edge.

“Shit—get so fucking wet when you cum,” Void snarls. “And tight. S-so fucking tight.”

You’re not allowed to float down from your high, not until he also reaches his end. Until then you’re forced through the rough scrap of the last dregs of your pleasure, his abdomen scraping agains your throbbing clit. The loud, wet slaps of his hips meeting your cunt echoes in the tiny space, accentuates every hitched moan and sharp whimper. Void’s hand slips off the wall and buries it into your hair at the base of your skull, tugging sharply as your core clenches around his cock.

“M’close,” he pants, his breath humid against your skin. “Can I—fuck--can I cum in you?”

You nod with a shuddering whine. 

Your nerves burn as you slip your own hand down to toy with your clit, a simple brush over the nerves and your careening off the edge again. Your cries are a jumble of incomprehensible babbles--the only thing you manage to latch onto is his name. 

With a dangerously loud curse, Void’s bruising pace quickens, frantic as he chases his own release. Void’s hips stutter, the hand in your hair tightening into a fist as his teeth embed themselves over your shoulder. With one—two last thrusts of his hips, he cums. Ropes of his release coats your insides, throbbing and twitching until he’s spent, left with the ambiance of quick panting and the trickle of water.

Stars, you can’t fucking think.  

With a grunt he stumbles back as much as he can in the limited space, the absence of his cock leaving his cum to dribble out and slip down the inside of your thigh. You’re still squeezing your eyes shut, jittery and unable to move from your current spot without the risk of stumbling to your knees.

Void dips his head and steals a kiss, dragging his tongue deep into your mouth. He groans and keeps you here, leading you through soft kisses and a careful dance of something more than just a simple fuck in a fresher. You’re not sure if you’re allowed to breach that gentle space between you—grasp something tangible with uncertain promises and stolen minutes as sunlight fills the space between your heart and lungs.

He kisses your cheek, breaking away before either of you slip and tumble into uncharted territory. Another time maybe—not in the middle of a war and certainly not in a communal shower.

“Thank you,” he murmurs. And it’s enough—it has to be enough.

#HERE IS MY INSANE RAMBLES HEKDBD #oOf #ask #keida answers #sunburst squadron #my writing #clone trooper x reader #clone oc x reader #clone oc

[langdvnshepherd]

current mood is older!duncan being way rough with you, fucking you so hard and covering your mouth with his giant hand telling you to shut up and just take him like a good little girl and afterwards when ur shaking he pulls you close on his lap and just kisses all over your face telling you how well you behave for him and how much he loves his strong girl 🥰

Word Count: 1.4k

Your hair was matted to your forehead and neck, back clinging onto the sweat (and cum)-soaked, silk sheets as Duncan hovered over you, his own hair hanging low enough to brush across your skin each time he drilled his hips into yours. He’d been at this for what felt like hours now, coaxing orgasm after mind-blowing orgasm through your body after a rather interesting interaction you had at dinner with one of his colleagues. 

Duncan consumed you in every way. His broad, toned body and natural heat surrounding you, his brawny arms at either side of your head, his crystal blue eyes now turned a dark navy boring holes into your own, his thick, veiny cock relentlessly splitting you in half. The older man on top of you had refused to let up his pace, refused to listen to your pleads that you were too overstimulated to continue, refused to let your swollen, abused cunt rest as he stretched you open further than he ever had before. No, Duncan refused to stop until you were pumped so full of his hot, milky seed that all you think about, all you could dream about, was him.

Your next orgasm loomed deep within your belly, as impossible as it seemed (How many had you had now? Three? Four? You’d given up focusing on anything but the obscene squelching that was produced by Duncan ramming himself into your soaking wet walls). It blossomed, slowly but surely, when you felt one of Duncan’s hands creep from the side of your face down to the base of your throat.

“You gonna cum again for me, love?” he taunted you in between his own breathless pants.

All you could do was squirm beneath him as he continued his assault on your pussy. Sweat ran from your forehead and into your hairline as you stared back up at him with a strained, agonizing expression.

Duncan raised his brow at you, giving your neck a quick but intense squeeze as he waited for your response.

“I don’t think I can, Duncan,” you managed to get out between cries, paying no regard to the tears that now flowed freely from the corners of your eyes each time Duncan filled you to the hilt.

You heard Duncan click his tongue at you in disapproval, curling his lip up in a devious grin.

“Oh, honey-” he lifted his front from your chest, but not his cock from your cunt, as he leaned over the edge of the bed, fumbling in the top drawer of the nightstand to retrieve the purple vibrating wand that he initially bought for you to use when he was away on business, but frequently began introducing when you were together.

“-Yes you can.”

Your body felt on fire as he turned on the toy and nestled it in between your engorged clit, swollen from being rubbed first by Duncan’s skilled fingers and again by the base of his pubic bone every time he bottomed out inside of you, and your seeping entrance, so that both you and Duncan felt the vibrations as he began to work his way back up to his brutal pace of fucking you senseless.

A string of grunts and expletives spewed from Duncan’s lips as he fought his own urges to cum, determined first and foremost to prove his point to you that you belonged to him and him alone.

As if it were possible, your mewls grew louder, whinier and high pitched as Duncan increased the intensity of the vibrations, tightening the coil in your belly by tenfold.

“Duncan,” you whimpered through gritted teeth.

“I really can’t.”

You were begging, pleading for him to let up on you. The vibrations were almost painful against your red, irritated cunt, but they were pleasurable nonetheless. As you’d expected, your request went unfulfilled as Duncan snarled, turning the vibrator up to the highest intensity.

He lifted his free arm that had been digging into your hip to keep you still right up to your whiny mouth, where he promptly clamped down over it, ceasing any and all of the pathetic cries that ripped from your lungs. His full weight rested on his hand, meaning you were pushed further and deeper into the mattress by his grip.

Duncan rested his head in between the crook of your shoulder and neck, still thrusting in tandem with the wand’s vibrations as he began to lead you to your next release.

“I know you can, baby. Come on, just one more time for me,” he grunted in your ear before he mouthed sloppily at the sensitive skin on your throat.

“You feel so fucking good, angel. Need you to cum for me-” Duncan stopped suddenly as a guttural moan ripped from deep within his chest at the sensation of your cunt clenching around the swollen head of his cock.

His actions triggered something inside of you, made you begin to feel the threads of the band of your belly fray, but not completely snap just yet. You continued to whimper against his hand that covered your lips, slowly grinding yourself against the head of the vibrator and skewering yourself deeper onto Duncan’s cock.

“That’s it. I can feel how bad you want it. Just let go for me, Y/N. Be a good girl and let go for me.”

After a handful of sloppy, yet excruciatingly intense thrusts, you felt it. White spots clouded your vision and for a moment you lost consciousness as your final orgasm washed over you, the bands finally snapping and being set free from their binds.

“C’mon, shake for me, baby. That’s my good girl.”

Duncan kept his hand pressed firmly against your mouth still as he fucked you through your release and into his own, where he promptly filled you up for what felt like the hundredth time that night. His cum seeped from your cunt, overflowing inside of you when he pulled his (finally) softening cock from the home he had made inside of your overworked walls.

The vibrations from the wand ceased instantly when Duncan clicked the power button, and you heard the thud of the toy being tossed somewhere beyond your reach in the vastness of Duncan’s oversized bed. Before rolling off of you, Duncan pulled his hand from your face to kiss you passionately. You felt the corners of his mouth turn up just slightly against your lips, satisfied in knowing he’d made a proper mess out of you. He rested his forehead on yours when he pulled back so that your noses just barely brushed against each other, the thumping of your steadying heartbeat filling his ears.

As his back hit the mattress, he pulled you into his side, hiking your leg up to rest on his stomach. You felt a trickle of the remnants of Duncan’s seed pour out of you and onto the comforter you laid on, though you paid it no mind. Duncan (his assistant, rather) was no stranger to sticky sheets or the dry cleaners located near his office.

“Thank you. So much. You did so well.”

Duncan ran his fingers along the edge of your spine that was still coated in the veil of sweat that was his own doing.

“That guy at dinner really got under your skin, hmm?” you asked in between pants.

“Well, I can’t have you running off with some boy your own age, now. Can I? Had to show you what you’d be missing,” he chuckled, rubbing the evident exhaustion from his eyes with his forefingers.

“Don’t you think I would have done that a long time ago if I wanted to?”

“I suppose,” Duncan’s voice trailed off mid-sentence, and it got even quieter when he finished his thought.

“I just...don’t know what I’d do if you left.”

Your heart pinged with sadness at Duncan’s confession, though you felt the same exact way. It had always lurked in the back of your brain, the thought of Duncan finding someone even younger than you or even someone his own age for that matter. Knowing Duncan was in this for the long haul made his brutal assault on your cunt just moments ago make perfect sense. He wanted you forever, and wanted, needed to make sure that you knew it.

“Well,” you paused to shimmy up his torso and press a gentle kiss to his temple.

“It’s a good thing you’re stuck with me forever, then.”

Your fingers found their way into his hair, where you lovingly brushed the stray pieces out of his face, relishing in the way the silver strands glimmered in the light peeking through the blinds. 

“Sounds fine by me,” Duncan grinned up at the ceiling, pulling you closer in his grasp. 

//

Tagging some Duncan whores since she’s a longer one 😌

@avesatanormalpeoplescareme (smh) @lvngdvns @divinelangdon 

#duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd smut #duncan shepherd fanfiction #duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd one shot #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon smut #asks #blurb #my writing

[thehappyhockeymask]

Yay! You’re still doing match-ups! I’m a Pansexual girl, roughly 5’8” with auburn hair and light blue eyes. I have a pretty fiery attitude and anger issues, so I tend to snap a lot and quickly jump to conclusions. I act a lot before thinking and smart off a lot as well. I am an avid knife thrower and enjoy regular hikes. I also love fur children smh.

Sweeney Todd

- Oh boy he has an INSTANT violence boner for you. He isn’t sure whether he wants to cut you or fuck you but he’s leaning towards fucking.

- Watching you with knives is.....an orgasmic experience for him.

- He’s definitely a snake person, but he respects your love of the furrier ones. After all, animals aren’t the ones that typically go blabbing to the police :)

- When you snap he’s right there to egg you on (probably turn it into a fucking duet if you’re not careful). Sweeney RELISHES your beautiful anger, is just waiting for the day you finally make your first kill and truly understand the feeling as he does.

- Hiking....may not be his cup of tea, entirely, but if you compromise by doing it in the dark evenings, or perhaps through some graveyards, I think you can warm him up to it.

NSFW

- Definitely masturbates to the thought of you eviscerating some pathetic, lesser sap, maybe even letting Sweeney fuck you in the gore. He’s a nasty man.

- He begs you to try knife-play with him, usually in the form of straight razors, as one does.

- Is down for threesomes as long as the third wheel gets murdered in the process. It’s not jealousy so much as a kink, so don’t worry about the security of your relationship. Y’all are solid.

- Sweeney is deceptively strong for someone so lithe, and is definitely capable of lifting you. All that corpse disposal will have really come in handy when you want him to use his strength against you. Who needs a vibrator when he’s THAT good at fingering?

- He’s a firm believer that anywhere is a private space if no one can see you, so if he gets horny on one of your night walks, he certainly wouldn’t mind getting a little nasty against an alley wall or on top of a remote grave.

- Sweeney has a Thing for watching you hurt people, even with words, and trust me when I say that turning it on him is gonna result in a raging boner.

- Getting dragged off to a back room through the day to fuck is gonna be common in your humble pie shop.

Freddy Krueger

- “Fiery, you say?”

- *stupid snicker*

- You’re sharp banter alone could keep him alive, this man swoons over you on the daily.

- Will still call you bitch but it’ll be in a loving way, he promises.

- His brain is tiny and his meat is huge.

- No thoughts. Head empty. (He has to save space for all his love for you, there’s only so much there)

- Your spunk and the many facets that make up you give Freddy unending amusement, so don’t be too shocked when he pokes and prods just to get rises out of you. He just wants to banter and use more of those filthy lines he’s constantly making up.

- Realistically, you can drag him anywhere you want, yes, even on hikes. He’ll probably even get inspired by it to make a forest dream world for the both of you (obviously with the intention of doing dirty stuff in it but not exclusively).

- You can keep your fur children, Freddy doesn’t particularly crave animal company but he feels no need to bother yours.

NSFW

- Is VERY horny to see knives in your hands.

- Also he’s just....always horny, so there’s that. You could pick the most inconvenient time for sex and at worst he’ll get pouty while he pops a boner and drops whatever he’s doing.

- If you can fantasize about it, he’ll satisfy it. There’s nothing too tame or too disgusting for him, he has like, no boundaries. It’s only disturbing if you think too hard on it.

- Don’t think too hard on it.

- His tongue? Endless. His patience? Almost nonexistent. He will whine when things take awhile but he will not quit.

- Freddy has a kink for white dresses, fight me. The idea of ruining purity just does something to him. White lingerie achieves the same effect.

- No matter what his proportions were while he was alive, he can make his dick as big as you want now. Just....be careful what you wish for, because he will readily do anything.

#matchups #slashers #sweeney todd #freddy krueger #a nightmare on elm street #the demon barber of fleet street #slasher headcanons

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates C2E51

It’s Valentine’s Day, and in the true spirit of the holiday, the Mighty Nein are headed to the City of Beasts in the Sheets! Masterpost here

+5 was automatically applied to all ships of the episode, because, I mean……Valentine’s Day.

+6 to Caduceus/Nature. He has no idea what the fuck is going on, but he’s having a grand old time sitting in the dark, gathering pretty rocks, sticking his head underwater……. watching a roc butcher and kill a party of bugbears. “How often do you see something like that?” he says, starstruck.

+20 to Fjord/Jester. Peak fond bickering, truly amazing, on point, this needs to be the standard for every week. Featuring: “I think you have to say it all or else the spell doesn’t work,” “you’re a dick. I don’t believe him,” “you are very special now,” “we would protect you, Fjord/I’m not so sure,” “can I look at your mouth/no/thanks." Jester’s commitment to artistic integrity is, of course, the star of this show. Tattoo him like one of your Chateau boys, Jester. We all want you to.

Also Fjord describing wanting to be healed as “I could use a little lovin’” However, Caduceus/Fjord gets the +6 in that Caduceus was the one to actually do the requested healing. Also Fjord claims he was injured because he was “bit by a cow” and we know it was the polymorphed cows’ horns that did the damage of last ep. Where did this cow-biting damage come from? I’ll let you connect the dots. Hint: it’s Caduceus hickeys.

-5 to Caleb/Plot-Relevant Magic. Nearly killed by some “gravitational bullshit.” Didn’t display nearly as much interest in the dodecehedron or the grey magic so obviously related to it as one might expect. Is he keeping it on the DL? Is this a tsundere magic thing? Only time will tell.

+6 to Fjord/Uk’otoa. Fjord finally getting an opportunity to be a “special boy” with his new powers from the creepy sugar daddy, and meditating on the fact that………..yeah, Uk’otoa’s final temple could very well be in Xhorhas………Ghor Dranas even……..………….maybe he’s not avoiding his mission as much as he thought………………………………………………………………………

+15 to Fjord/Caleb. I mean we know at this point that there is a direct equivalence between Travis’ excitement over Caleb Killing Shit With Fire and Fjord’s selfsame excitement, right? AKA, it was also Fjord saying “Bless you Caleb you sweet sunuvabitch” and “fucking amazing” during the fight while they whaled on gnolls and wizards together, thank you. I mean the wall of fire/fireball paired with Fjord’s Balgura pretty directly recalled Darktow, and heavens knows that fight was peak romance. Also, nodding at Nott’s insistence on Caleb being the leader. ALSO, consider Fjord’s description of Caleb’s sweat-smell as “balsamic…ball-samic” which gets points for 1. That balsamic scents, according to aroma expert Andrea Butje, are “unique--sweet, soft, earthy and rich all at once.” I mean, honestly this depends also on Fjord’s opinion of how balsamic vinegar smells (controversial!), but it behooves us to remember that it is the base of such classic fragrances as sandalwood and vanilla and a host of other very nice perfumes. 2. He made a ball joke about it. Thas gay.

+8 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester. Teaming up to save each other from falling down the tunnel (Fjord was the first to jump on saving Caleb and Jester—never mind that he’s not a strong dude and his climbing kind of pathetic. Beau’s help was necessary) Also teaming up to make sure that Jester gets the opportunity to make some sweet tattoos.

+10 to Beau/Jester. Beau waking up purely to compliment Jester’s art skillz, and Jester lulling her back to sleep with some beautiful Thaumaturgy white noise. Beau complimenting Jester’s skills some more with a “perfect” sign aimed at her……questionable tattoo. Points taken away for Caleb fucking cockblocking Jester continuing the Thaumaturgy radio show the following evening

+2,000,000 to Nott/Yeza for Nott wanting to think “the love of [her] life” is not so well-guarded that it would be impossible to rescue him, but well-guarded enough for it not to be an “insult” to this very smart, important, capable man.

-3 to Sam Riegel/All Us Goblin Stans. Admits that he’s a fantasy racist, without shame. smh, smh.

+25 to Jester/Caleb. Jester sticking her face in Caleb’s hands and saying they smell “like a campfire. I like it” to which he says “oh, you,” which is now his go-to response to Jester being too adorable for him to handle. Jester making googly eyes on her sketches to make Caleb happy, and making very very very sure that he knows she doesn’t think he’s stinky anymore. And Caleb being just so taken with her that he invites her to keep the running gag going forever. Caleb taking off his arm wraps during watch with Jester because “there’s nothing to hide now,” and nearly falling hundreds of feet because of the lack of grip. Jester saving him from falling by grabbing him by the scruff of the coat like the troublesome kitten he is. #ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress

-10 Beau/Krynn armor. Not only did she not get a cool monk-version of the clothing disguise armor Nott has for disguise purposes, but some absolute dick made their armor protect the drows’ balls! How dare they!

+10 to Caleb/Gluzo. You know those fanfics where Caleb goes full-throttle with the Zemnian pet names? This one has bärchen written all over it. Evidence: Caleb calling him “huggy bear” within 2 seconds of meeting him, appreciating the fur, and implying that he might be planning to eat him out.  Also, Gluzo thinking Caleb alone of all the humans would probably do well in the city....... because he’s smitten, okay?

#critical role #cr spoilers #shipping calculus #widofjorester #widofjord #widojest #beaujester #lavorregard #fjorester

[epic-summaries]

Herakles, Destructo-Boi

I see people complain about Classical Mythology and the terrible things the heroes did, even if technically it’s not terrible (coughPerseuscough). Let’s add to the discourse with everyone’s favourite Jerkules! I mean Herakles.

These eyes are the eyes of a monster.

I’m going to complain specifically about Herakles’ city sacking fetish. Once fine, he was still high on that Hera crazy juice. Twice, I’m starting to get worried but the ruler was an asshole. Thrice, ummmm. The fourth time you sack a city I’m calling it a fetish. Now, one man armies aren’t anything new to Ancient Mediterranean mythologies. The other most famous example would be Samson defeating the Philistine army with a donkey jawbone. But as per usual, this is Herakles and Herakles is extreme! He can’t just do everything better than everyone else, but he has to be a thousand times better than everyone else (or else he will kill you coughLinushismusicteachercough).

Elis

So, the twelve labours. It’s a thing Herakles has to do and labour number five is the cleaning of Augeas’ stables (oh who is King of Elis). And this is not the one with the carnivores mares (In the OG Percy Jackson series in book 4, this labour and the labour with the Mares of Diomedes are fused together). This is the stable with the heavenly cattle from Helios that produces a massive amount of dung (for reason? I think Helios finds it funny when he looks down from his chariot because I have no other explanation for this). In this labour, Herakles reroutes a couple of rivers and wow it’s like oxyclean! Sparkly clean stables. But wait, there’s more, the labour is actually considered a foul because Jerkules did not do that work but the rivers did. (Herakles is meant to have ten labour but due to this being discounted and Lerna Hydra being discounted do to him using his sidekick, it became twelve.)

Herakles is pissed that his labour was discounted. This is the second time this happens! And it’s not like Herakles is trying to learn humility and get forgiveness for going into a murderous rage and killing his family. So, Herakles goes into a murderous rage and sacks the city of Elis.

Ormenium

So, Herakles has himself a reputation for being hated by Hera and for destroying cities. Image each time this asshole leaves a city, he leaves it in the same state as Metropolis at the end Man of Steel. Or this:

It’s not a surprise that people don’t want him in their cities. But Herakles wants to go through Ormenium. Amyntor, the King, is like nope, go away. One does not say no to Herakles. So, he sacks the city for daring to say no. Then horndog here fathers a child with the Queen. It was a damned if you do, damned if you don’t kind of situation.

This isn’t the traditional telling of this story, usually he just kills Amyntor and not most of the town, but it is a version I have heard, so I have added it.

Actual response people had when they saw Herakles walking up to their city.

Troy

HOW MANY GODDAMN TIMES DOES THIS CITY NEEDS TO BE SACKED?! But Herakles can’t miss out on the most famous story of Greek Mythology. But it doesn’t match the timeline? (Now they care about a timeline!) So, let’s make One-Man-Mongol-Army sack Troy before the more infamous sack of Troy. Guys you’re making the Achaeans’ awesome feat seem way less impressive. Like, Achilles how can’t you sack Troy? Herakles did it by himself a generation ago! You guys are pathetic. SMH.

Anyway, what excuse did the Greek give for Herakles to sack this wonderous city? (I know there’s mentions in the Iliad of Herakles sacking the city). Long story short, Poseidon is pissed at the city for reasons that we will not go into here. So, Laomedon (Priam’s father, so Hector and Paris’ grandfather) does an Agamemnon before Agamemnon was born, and decides to sacrifice his daughter, Hesione, to appease a god. But before that can happen Herakles pops up out of nowhere and is like I’ll kill the monster crab for you! But wait, there’s more, he’s not going to do this for free. Oh no, he wants the magical horse Zeus gave the city when he kidnapped Ganymede (because the proper replacement for a person is a magical horse?). Laomedon is like sure. So, Herakles slays the monster. Laomedon does the faithful mistake and says well maybe we want to keep the horse. Did no one learn from Minos and the White Bull?

Anyway, Herakles sacks the city, with a couple of friends. Kills the entire royal family minus Priam because Priam gave Herakles a golden veil made by Hesione (so he likes shiny things). Hesione is taken away and forced to marry Telamon and thus Teucer is born. Um, so Hesione’s life sucks.

Proud father Zeus watching this from Olympus.

Oechalia

So, we all remember that time Hera drove Herakles crazy and forced him to terrrifyingly murder his wife and children? Right? Well the people of Herakles’ time certainly did not forget. Because who can forget that? So, even remembering this, this story is still messed up.

This is how it starts, Herakles sees the Princess Iole and goes me horny (I see the apple didn’t fall far from the Olympian tree). He finds out to marry the princess he must beat her dad, King Eurytus, in an archery contest. Eurytus here is one of the best archers in all of Greece, but he’s about to go against Herakles and anything you can do, Herakles can do better.

Herakles enters the competition and to no one but King Eurytus’ surprise Herakles looks like he is going to win. So, King Eurytus very much not wanting second most famous wife killer after Henry VIII, Herakles, as a son-in-law, stops the competitions. We’ve learned by now, no one tells Herakles no. Iphitos, Eurytus’s son, Argonaut and Herakles’ friend, asks his dad to reconsider. King Eurytus is in a pickle, let Jerkules here take his daughter and possibly murder her, or say no and suffer other conquences? A real Sophie’s Choice here. But then one of the King’s mares is stolen and Iophitos asks Herakles to get her back. Herakles of course does this, because he is such a great guy, then drinks some Hera crazy juice (allegedly) and throws Iphitos over the walls of Oechalia. He’s dead, very much dead. And King Eurytus says, naw, I’m not going to let you marry my daughter.

Then, Herakles meets Deianira (aka wife number three) and King Eurytus must think he’s safe. No. You are never safe from Destructo-Boi! Because Herakles can never let anything go, he comes back and sacks the city and kills all the males in the royal family. Ioles, who btw does not have the hots for ultimate Chad, Herakles (understandably), tries to jump off the walls of the city. But wait, her clothes are secretly a parachute (for some reason in a world full of monsters and magic, the most unbelievable thing to me is that a woman’s clothes turns into a parachute), and she lands perfectly fine. Herakles rapes her and keeps her as a ”paramour” (people call it was it is, she’s his sex salve).

Me punching Herakles for being an asshole.

Then, Herakles is killed by his wife, but that’s a post for a different day. Also, Herakles had to become Omphale’s salve for the murder of Iphitos, which I would like to ask, does Herakles ever get punish for things he actual does or for only things when he’s under the influence of Hera’s crazy juice? Because I’m pretty sure going all Danearys on a town on your own free will is punishable, but apparently I am wrong.

That random voice in Disney’s Hercules was right, Destructo-Boi should be his super-hero name.

#hey look im actually summarizing myths #oh for some reason i automatically write Herakles without thinking about it #greek heroes being assholes #greek mythology #hercules #greek heroes

[tobe-sogolden]

I genuinely don’t understand why these harries are so against Harry writing about his girlfriend like… what did they think he was gonna do…. I know they have their theories about it being about exes or whatever…. But realistically speaking, why would they even think he wouldn’t write about her? And why do they care so much he’s writing about her 😭😭😭 and the fact that it’s mostly women hating on her for things they either made up or exaggerated is the worst part for me. Wait no, the worst part is making fun of her for being a mother and “old” smh. I just can’t imagine caring this much about a celebrity that I have to make everyone hate who they’re dating. These people hate Harry while preaching how much they love him. Especially those who are like “ew a rich white woman” while stanning a rich white man lol… I love Harry so much and I always defend him but cmon… if we’re gonna rank “patheticness” it’s more pathetic to defend a rich white man 🤷🏽‍♀️

I think they genuinely want to believe that he hates her like they hate her 😵‍💫 they fantasize that he's annoyed by her presence and that she doesn't mean anything to him. It's ridiculous. Like of course he loves his girlfriend 😭😭 and yeah the comments about her age and her having kids are so dumb like...he knew she had kids when he got involved with her. He knew how old she was. He didn't give a fuck so why do you 😭😭 and PLEASE that comeback is so funny to me too lmao like let's have some self-awareness <3

#ask

[camifr0g]

Just answer all of them coward, pretend I just typed out every single one of the stand names that weren't already asked. Do it.

 …OH MY GOD UR GOING TO KILL ME….   ill put in under the cut cuz it’ll get long!! 

☆Star Platinum —  What is your favorite stand and why?

I think it’s a tie between splatinum and killer queen!! theyre both super cute, but in terms of stand power I would like killer Q the most.. shes so pretty

☆The World — Which part did you watch/read first?

Phantom Blood ofc, its part 1 for a reason hehe 

☆Hierophant Green — Which character do you relate to the most?

JOHNNY JOESTAR. EASY. both super bitchy, sarcastic, pathetic and crybabies! :) win

☆Silver Chariot — Are there any characters you initially disliked but now love? If so, who and what changed your mind?

Melone, prosciutto and kira (4)! at first melone and prosc just gave me the freakiest vibes, idk why they just made me SO uncomfy. kira 4 just fuckin sucks. I still dont like him but, I care for him.(kira 8 wins by a mile tho) :( 

☆The Fool — What’s the silliest misconception you had about the series before watching it?

I thought it was going to be a funny haha! cute silly series! I came out with trauma . 

☆Crazy Diamond — Time for the age-old question: What is your favorite part of JJBA and why?

STEEL BALL RUN. love the concept. fuckin love horse races and I LOVE COWBOYS. I LOVE WILD WILD WEST. The characters were amazing. Johnny had such good character development, the entire plot of this part was actually thought out and its amazing. its so depressing and some people dont like that but god I love crying at the things I read/watch. steel ball run is perfect if youre a masochist! 

☆The Hand — Which character(s) would you like to be your JoBro?

oh man. I had to think about this one I really did, but it comes down to Gyro, Gappy, Okuyasu and Rai (one of these things is not like the others) Gyro/Gappy/Oku because they are all DUMB and STUPID and precious and we would have some good dumbass time together, Rai because hes so pretty and he has a brain and I want to cook with him :( and also hug him because he looks SO fucking hug-able 

☆Echoes — What is your favorite OP and ED?

Chase and Last Train Home! 

☆Gold Experience — Time for the other age-old question: Who is your favorite JoJo?

Johnny Joestar babyyyyyyy His character development is literally too good for me to pass up, he is AMAZING. also hes so cute :] 

☆Sticky Fingers — What do you think is the most underutilized stand? How would you like to see it used?

OKUYASU’S STAND!!! dude literally has one of the most OP stands ever but hes too damn stupid to use it :( love that idiot

☆Sex Pistols — If you had to take one character on a date, where would you take them and who would you take?

oHHAHg GOD THIS IS SO CUTE BUT… there is one true answer. I would 100% take Rai on a date, Id take him some sort of fruit picking!! probably blueberry or cherry, because I know that bitch loves his fruits. Then we could make somethin yummy with it since hes so good at cookin :) I love Rai so much and he is SO fuckign pretty. 

☆Aerosmith — What is your favorite fight in the series?

RINGO ROADAGAIN’S TRUE MAN’S WORLD!!! 10/10. still have that volume saved on my computer

☆Purple Haze — What is your favorite quote from the series? 

 “What I was scared most of, was not being able to even say goodbye to my friends. To forget how to say goodbye. But… at the very end…. I still remembered that I have to say it..” :( 

☆Spice Girl — Most underrated character?

Fugo. and like, every single jojolion character because noNE OF YOU FUCKERS READ JOJOLION. IM GONA KILL YOU!!!!

☆Gold Experience Requiem — And time for the final age-old question: Who is your favorite JoBro?

kinda depends on who you consider the ‘’jobro’’ but I fuckin love Gyro and Yasuho/Joshu 

☆Beach Boy — What is your least favorite Stand and why?

I dont have one!!! I love pretty much all the stands I think :( 

☆The Grateful Dead — What’s your favorite headcanon for any character?

Karera and Josefumi r dating :] 

☆White Album — What are your favorite tracks from the OST? (All parts!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCyJoRA5SIA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdlFqOpTC04 These two bad boys. 

☆Metallica — What fight were you most surprised by?

Vitamin C and Killer Queen! that volume was INSANE and I loved it so much. its still one of my favorite volumes in Jojolion, so good. 

☆King Crimson — Which character would you most like to see a side-story for? (A la Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan.)

Hayato! and Karera. And Rai. And Weather report. And Hot pants/diego. And

☆Stone Free — If you were suddenly transported into the world of JJBA, which part would you like to be dropped into? And would you join the heroes or the villains?

GOD THIS IS HARDDD. Just kidding Jojolion. I have the smallest chance of dying and also I get to see all my favorites :) (except johnny smh smh) As long as Im not related to the Higashikatas in any way, Ill be fine . 

[countrygangrel]

hey i want every single one for sancho david and austin please and thank u :)

maria im hatefollowing u and i wouldnt help u with ur spanish homework /s

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

sancho: he doesnt rlly consider himself to have family but of the ppl who seem to sorta consider him family he likes marco the best

david: he likes diego the best smh

austin: he doesnt consider any of the ppl who consider him family To be family but mags is the closest

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

sancho: Bad shes the reason he ended up homeless

david: he doesnt remember his birth mom but he loves marge : )

austin: he idealizes her and remembers her as being perfect but she was subpar

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

sancho: he considers him a weak and pathetic little man

david: he doesnt remember his birth father but he doesnt like gabriel at all : (

austin: Bad

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

sancho: he almost got murdered and he tries to avoid telling people abt it :/

david: Uh Yea and like everyone knows it got big in vampire scenes

austin: yea and he tells everyone smh hes an oversharer

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

sancho: a knife, one of those stupid pocket bibles, his phone, snacks he Probably stole

david: Garbage he doesnt rlly go anywhere and he also forgets to empty them out

austin: his phone, some cash, a couple ious to replace mags’s stuff when he takes it, his wallet

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

sancho: he doesnt dream

david: i feel like he has dreams that involve weightlessness a lot. also cleanliness

austin: Hedonism. also idealized versions of his childhood

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

sancho: eternal damnation

david: being dirty and also drowning. his abusers there

austin: honestly? Also hedonism. probably food

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

sancho: he misfired on a guy that he was trying to keep from coming any closer to him

david: he shot a book that he set up on a fence

austin: he shot a guy on Purpose

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

sancho: hes Worse off hes semi-homeless

david: hes? Worse off but a lot happier the weed money has him stable enough

austin: not rlly

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

sancho: more he likes layers

david: more

austin: less

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

sancho: probably when he was being almost murdered. he didnt think he was afraid of death before

david: hes been in a Lot of situations that border on this but probably when his parents were murdered

austin: when he had to kill a werewolf for the first time

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

sancho: he Acts calm all the time but hes normally pretty stressed out. hes gonna grey early

david: Hes Never Calm

austin: hes pretty calm now in the face of danger like even having a gun in his face hes calm

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

dsjkdshds none of them r bothered by it now but david used to be. he got over it

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

sancho: neither he doesnt want to know anyone

david: names

austin: faces

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

sancho: he Is hes very poor and concerned abt where hes living and if hes a freeloader or not

david: not rlly he thinks its pointless and hes gonna die Anyway

austin: yea hes a poor and greedy man

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

sancho: success

david: success

austin: happiness

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

sancho: he didnt have any but he woulda liked stuffed animals

david: he had a stuffed bear that he carried around and didnt let ppl touch. gabriel took it from him and he stopped having comfort objects

austin: he liked his sisters dolls

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

sancho: wisdom

david: ambition hes Jealous

austin: ambition

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

sancho: he doesnt voice his issues but hes rlly insecure so he ends up sorta touchy :/ nd theyre working on it

david: he doesnt have relationships hes Way too shy

austin: hes got commitment issues and he ends up ruining relationships very quickly

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

sancho: all he does his compare himself to others negatively smh he has no self esteem and hes lookin for reasons people wouldnt want him around

david: its for self criticism he has depression and low self esteem. A lot of time its in ? physical aspects or how well they deal with interpersonal communication

austin: its for self validation most of the time. at least if hes Voicing it

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

They all ? think they caused or deserved it but austin blames others Verbally

What does your character like in other people?

sancho: he has a soft spot for cute people :( he likes cute things in general. he? sorta likes mean people too smh he doesnt like feeling like people are lying to him abt liking him. overall he doesnt like people tho

david: he Also avoids ppl so he doesnt like ? like a Lot but he does like when ppl care abt him :’/ if u show him genuine care he’ll warm up pretty fast

austin: he just likes Attention. but in General he also likes people who arent that serious sdsdkhdsj he also likes people who’ll pamper him

What does your character dislike in other people?

sancho: he doesnt like ppl who r ? Overly nice or rlly try to pay attention to him. he also doesnt like having people ‘pity’ him (read: care abt)

david: he doesnt like mean people :( or at least people who r mean to Him hes rlly sensitive. he also doesnt like ppl who try to Force eye contact. also being tall white men makes u a no in his book

austin: people who insult him to his face >:/ or ppl who r mean to their families without Reason hes a hypocrite

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

sancho: he doesnt

david: it takes him a While and it depends on the person. atm he only rlly trusts 2 ppl tho

austin: he doesnt rlly Ever trust people but he lets his guard down anyway

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

sancho: o Immediately. he does it Less if he knows u but :/ not much

david: he tries not to now but hes a very nervous boy

austin: he does it pretty fast but ? ignores what his guts tellin him

How does your character behave around children?

sancho: he has a daughter who he loves but he doesnt rlly know how to take care of kids

david: he tries to avoid them he doesnt know how to deal with them he gets overstimmed really fast

austin: he avoids them but he Loves kids. hes rlly worried abt being a creep and Hurting ppl

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

sancho: he Stews and looks annoyed but doesnt rlly fight

david: he avoids it at all costs

austin: hes Fighty hell argue over little things

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

sancho: sorta quick smh but he has to be pushed

david: he avoids it at all costs hes weak

austin: Very fast

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

sancho: i feel like he wanted to be a doctor :/ it Didnt happen

david: he didnt actually have much by way of dreams? he thought abt being an author or a priest tho. It didnt happen

austin: he didnt rlly have any he was just gonna farm

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

sancho: anything thats too clean. most like ? normal things to be disgusted by other than like gore. also himself

david: he finds most kinds of mess repulsive. hes still repulsed by gore even tho hes used to blood

austin: he doesnt find much other than like ? Excrement repulsive

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

sancho: having his own room with a window and several locks on the door. his cats r there

david: being able to be alone in his room while still being confident that his friends love and care abt him

austin: he wants to be Loved so hed be most comfortable surrounded by family who loves him :’)

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

sancho: rlly being ? around people in general

david: being in public in general but Especially anywhere near a stage. he woulda been valedictorian if he went to hs modernly but the speech shit would kill him

austin: being ignored and on his own

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

sancho: hes a cocktail of all of them :/ but overall hes willing to improve

david: hes willing to improve most of the time but he can be sorta :/ resistant

austin: hes Very defensive

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

sancho: keep the method

david: keep the method

austin: move on

How does your character behave around people they like?

sancho: hes ? nicer but overall he tries not to show it smh

david: hes more willing to come out of his shell and interact with ppl he likes

austin: hes a bit of a bully and Very clingy. he likes teasin ppl

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

sancho: he bottles it up and Glares

david: he avoids interacting with them more than he normally does

austin: hes a bitch tbh he gets Mean and Petty

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

sancho: honor

david: status

austin: honor

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

sancho: remove self

david: remove self

austin: remove problem

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

sancho: he has been and hes nervous around dogs now, especially bigger dogs

david: he hasnt been bit

austin: hes been bit but he doesnt care he still loves animals smh he also probably deserved to get bit hes the type to stick his face in animals’ faces

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

sancho: he does his best and over all tries to be nonintrusive

david: he avoids interacting with people at all dsksdjj so hes okay

austin: he works a service job So

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

sancho: he feels like he has to earn it but he can never do enough To earn it

david: he has to earn it

austin: he feels like he Deserves it

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

sancho: he avoids parental figures

david: yes! He has an adoptive mom who he loves

austin: sorta? kinda. he isnt sure how to feel abt her tho :/ 

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

sancho: yea he has a bf and a child

david: no

austin: sorta? rlly depends. not rlly tho

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

sancho: its pretty difficult and he avoids it

david: its difficult but he can say it without meaning it

austin: its easy to lie but hard to say it proper

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

sancho: he believes hes going to go to hell :/ but hes sorta accepted it. he is scared to die

david: he isnt sure what he believes but he believes it isnt good

austin: he doesnt believe in anything

#sorry yall dsjsdkhdkh #tinymush #austin #nettle #david #abuse ment ig #food ment #ask to tag

[backtothestart02]

I had another Flash dream. This one was not so pleasant. 😓

So, I was at a mall and there was randomly this Flash convention going on that somehow wasn’t overly swamped by fans. It had to be at least a Superflash convention though, b/c Grant AND Melissa were there, but so was Carlos, so I assume it was maybe a Legends of Superflarrow thing going on. Those are just the only three actors I remember seeing exactly.

ANYWAYS.

Grant was taking pics with fans after the fact in the mall, just selfies and such. Me, being horrified of having to interact with celebs w/o babbling or blushing or being frozen in place, did not get in line, BUT it kinda ended up LOOKING like I was in line & so when all the other fans had gotten their pics (like I said, not an overwhelming number here), Grant asked me if I wanted one with him.

Well, I wasn’t going to say NO if I was specifically ASKED. So, I just smiled for the pic & apparently he took like 5? But only the 1st one had both of us in it & he was kinda blurry. The rest was either of his face or mine & when I was like “uhhh,” he says something along the lines of he could tell I would need the perfect pic & wouldn’t be satisfied with the first try, so he was attempting to always focus it on me & my “flawless/perfect” skin (which I don’t have btw), but instead of focusing by touching the screen, he’d somehow ended up turning the camera (though I didn’t see that happen either) & so it was just this disappointing, humiliating situation. Not to mention I looked awful in all the pics anyway (which is generally what I fear for celeb pics & why I prob wouldn’t get caught dead in one), & he SO couldn’t have known my penchant for needing to take multiple pics of myself before I get one I like…unless he’d read my mind!! He cannot just SENSE these things. Not to mention following that I kept making side comments to things he was saying (to someone else? To himself?) in the hopes he'd notice me again & we could try this whole pic thing one more time, but he totally ignored me, so it was an epic fail. Ugh. Dream!Grant. Rme.

But I digress.

After a while more cast came out and sat around this big white table that was suddenly there & there were all these items on the table, like props from the show that were maybe being given away? Idk. I believe they were all autographed though.

Anyways, time passed. I don’t remember if I just left or stood there looking pathetic, but eventually people left & it was just Carlos & this little adorable latina girl that had been following the cast around and apparently knew them rly well. *very curious about this now*

To make things even stranger, Carlos came up to me, saw me looking at what was either a large blank slate or a baseball (don’t judge me for not remembering!! Lol) that everyone had autographed & was apparently for me potentially? But like, a lot of it was just inspirational quotes. Though there were like a handful that talked about what it was like to kiss me & I was racking my brain for a time I had acted with these people & had to kiss them during a scene. I came up blank obvs, so I decided it was hypothetical & not referring to any interaction I had or would have with them personally.

*sigh* It was weird.

Anyways, as I was looking over this thing - whatever it was - Carlos came up to me & got all cryptic & philosophical & wanted to know my views & beliefs on God & religion, which completely blindsided and intimidated me. So I refused. Lol. Then I went & sat down somewhere nearby & that little girl came & sat next to me & asked me the same questions!! (Clearly a set up by Carlos. Smh.) But I was less intimidated by her, so I told her & she like, did not like my answers at all, so she pouted & went over to Carlos & sat next to him & that was that.

And then some weird crazy stuff involving the Super Bowl & being flung into outer space (Matt Damon did this, I think) & being able to be brought back to earth by opening a parachute after only being on 5% oxygen & like some weird government aircraft that was def NOT suitable for space brought him back in, and….idk, it was madness. It just did NOT make sense after that. Smh.

So, that was my dream. If I wasn’t already 100% sure trying to get a pic w/ a celeb - specifically Grant - was a bad idea, I certainly do now. Man.

#my dreams #flash dreams #craaaaazy stuff man #I have always been against meeting celebs #bc I would freeze up #and look so ridiculously fat & ugly next to them in pics #but like MAN #this rly drove the point home