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wondereads · 1 year

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An Extended List of Retellings

It was recently Tell a Fairy Tale Day (02/26), so here's an updated and expanded list of retellings for all fairy tale- and folklore-obsessed readers!

*Key at the end of the post*

The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert (Fairy Tale-esque)

Alice's grandmother is known for her collection of stories that has spawned a cult-like following, spawning plenty of fanatics to follow Alice and her mother around. But this new group is strange, weirder than the rest, and when they take Alice's mother, she must literally dive into the world of her grandmother's stories to save her. (YA, low fantasy)

Damsel by Elana K. Arnold (Fairy Tale-esque)

Ama remembers nothing. All she knows is that she was saved by Prince Emory from a vicious dragon. It seems she will be taken care of for the rest of her life as a pampered princess, but as she learns more about her new home, the more darkness seems to well up around the edges. *read trigger warnings* (NA, high fantasy)

The Frog Princess by E. D. Baker (The Frog Prince)

Princess Emeralda is about to be caught in an unfortunate engagement, but she finds an escape in a talking frog. A frog who claims he is a prince, a perfect excuse to escape a betrothal. What she doesn't expect is being turned into a frog herself with no clue how to change both of them back. (MG, high fantasy)

The Wide-Awake Princess by E. D. Baker (Sleeping Beauty)

Princess Gwen was tragically cursed to fall into a magical sleep, so when her younger sister, Annie, is born, she is given only one christening gift—the ability to resist any magic. When the curse comes true and Gwen falls asleep, Annie sets out to find her sister's true love and wake the kingdom again. (MG, high fantasy)

Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson (Peter Pan)

From an orphanage in London, Peter and his mysterious friend, Molly, arrive at a faraway island. There, pirates and adventures abound, but nothing is as exciting as a precious new substance that can cure wounds, give flight, and keep people young forever. (MG, low fantasy)

The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor (Alice in Wonderland)

When Wonderland, land of dreams and imagination, undergoes a bloody coup, Princess Alyss Heart is forced to flee to the real world, taking on the name Alice Liddel. Years later, she is needed to win Wonderland back, but is it time for Alyss' imagination to be saved? (YA, low fantasy)

The Sisters Grimm by Michael Buckley (multiple)

Sabrina and Daphne Grimm have bounced from foster home to foster home before their formerly-unknown grandmother takes them in. She seems like everything two children could want, but Sabrina doesn't trust her. Not only does she serve outlandish foods and have an outrageous amount of locks on her house, but she seems to believe their town is full of fairy tale characters, all with mysteries that need solving. (MG, magical realism)

The School for Good and Evil by Soman Chainani (multiple)

Agatha and Sophie are best friends, but they couldn't be more different. Agatha is ugly and unpleasant and Sophie is pretty and kind, so when they're taken to the School for Good and Evil, it seems obvious who's Good and who's Evil. However, when the girl's places are switched, they must put things to rights. (MG/YA, high fantasy)

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo (The Little Mermaid)

Lira is a vicious siren, known for her collection of prince's hearts. However, a serious mistake of hers leads the Sea Queen to transform her into a human, trapped until she can bring her the heart of Prince Elian. Lira is a practiced killer, but Elian is a trained hunter, and sirens are his prey of choice. (YA, high fantasy)

The Land of Stories by Chris Colfer (multiple)

Alex and Conner have had it rough since their father's death, but they find comfort in their grandmother's book of stories. When she leaves it to them on their birthday, they never expected for it to be a portal to another world. This world is full of all the fairy tales they know and love, but they're trapped there, and ways back are hard to come by. (MG, low fantasy)

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn (King Arthur)

In an attempt to move on after her mother's death, Bree attends an early college program. However, she starts to see things, things her friends can't, and she soon discovers a secret society on campus made up of the descendants of King Arthur and the Knights of the Roundtable. However, this group, the Legendborn, may be tied to Bree more than she knows. (YA, magical realism)

Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson (Caribbean and Yoruba Mythology)

In a futuristic world modeled off of Afro-Caribbean history and mythology, criminals are sent to the world of New Half-Way Tree. No child has been sent before until Tan-Tan is taken by her father, who is on the run from the law. When Tan-Tan's experience takes a turn for the worse, she finds strength the figure of the Robber Queen from myth. *read trigger warnings* (adult, science fiction/fantasy)

Splintered by A. G. Howard (Alice in Wonderland)

Alyssa is a descendant of the famous Alice Liddel, but it's not all roses and tea parties. Madness runs in the family, and Alyssa has heard bugs and flowers speak to her since she was young. It's only when she's a teenager that she learns it's a curse, and the only way to free her family from it is to return to Wonderland and put the original Alice's mistakes to rights.

Stain by A. G. Howard (very loosely The Princess and the Pea)

Princess Lyra is destined to bring her kingdom, one of perpetual day, and their rival, a kingdom of perpetual night, together. However, when her wicked aunt steals her identity and casts her out, she loses her memories and is taken in by a witch from an enchanted forest. There, she lives in disguise, known as a young boy named Stain. (YA, fantasy romance)

Enchanted by Alethea Kontis (The Frog Prince)

Sunday is the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter, a powerfully magic number. Anything Sunday writes comes true, so she takes care to only write what has already happened. She finds someone to share those stories with in a talking frog near her home. Little does she know that the frog is an enchanted prince; specifically, the prince responsible for the death of her older brother.

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine (Cinderella)

Ella was given a gift at her birth from a fairy, but it's done nothing but make her life miserable. Forced to obey every direct order, Ella loathes her gift of obedience, especially when she is forced to deal with a demanding father and a horrible stepfamily. Ella takes it upon herself to track down the fairy who 'blessed' her with some help from her family's cook, Mandy, and the charming Prince Char. (MG, high fantasy)

Fairest by Gail Carson Levine (Snow White)

Aza is by no means the fairest of them all, but she has the unique gift to imitate others and throw her voice. In the kingdom of Ayortha, which values song above all else, it's an invaluable trait. One the new queen of Ayortha, Queen Ivi, plans to capitalize upon. Ivi lacks singing talent, so she hires Aza to help her deceive the kingdom, but how long can they keep up the charade? (MG, high fantasy)

The Princess Tales by Gail Carson Levine (multiple)

Six stories: The Fairy's Mistake (Diamonds and Toads), The Princess Test (The Princess and the Pea), Princess Sonora and the Long Sleep (Sleeping Beauty), Cinderellis and the Glass Hill (Cinderella), For Biddle's Sake (Rapunzel), and The Fairy's Return (The Golden Goose) (MG, high fantasy)

Ash by Malinda Lo (Cinderella)

Abused by her horrible stepmother, Ash finds solace in stories. Those stories seem to come to life when she encounters a faerie, and her wishes of being stolen away may finally be granted. However, Ash begins to doubt that course when she meets the king's huntress and she finds herself torn between two worlds. (YA, fantasy romance)

Unhooked by Lisa Maxwell (Peter Pan)

Gwendolyn has always thought her mother was crazy for thinking monsters were chasing them, but then she and her best friend are kidnapped. The place they're taken to, Neverland, is full of deception, and Gwen must find out how to get them both home and whole again. (YA, low fantasy)

Cinder by Marissa Meyer (Cinderella)

Cinder is a cyborg in a futuristic world ravaged by sickness and prejudice, but she scrapes by as a mechanic. One day, during a job for no one other than the prince, she discovers information that could tip the balance between the people of earth and the dreaded Lunars. (YA, science fiction)

The Squire's Tales by Gerald Morris (King Arthur)

A series retelling the tales of the Roundtable, beginning with Terence, an orphan who becomes squire to the famous Sir Gawain. Together, they must foil a plot against King Arthur as Terence discovers his own abilities. (MG/YA, historical fantasy)

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (Beauty and the Beast)

Agnieszka is forfeited by her village to the wizard known as the Dragon in exchange for his protection against the horrible Wood. She finds herself more of an apprentice than a servant, but the Wood is stirring, and it's up to her and the Dragon to drive it back. (NA, high fantasy)

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (Rumpelstiltskin)

Miryam has brought her family's moneylending business back from the brink of bankruptcy. All is going well until an ill-timed boast on the roads lures the attention of the king of the Staryk, fae-like creatures made of winter and obsessed with gold. But there's a bigger threat that threatens to consume humans and Staryk alike. (NA, high fantasy)

Queen of Hearts by Colleen Oakes (Alice in Wonderland)

Dinah has trained her whole life to become queen of Wonderland alongside her father, finally earning his love. However, out of the blue, her father brings home her half-sister, his illegitimate daughter. With conspiracies brewing, Dinah must hold onto her throne now that another candidate has entered the picture. (YA, high fantasy)

The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh (Shim Cheong)

As their home is ravaged by storms and floods, the people of Mina's village sacrifice a young girl every year, hoping she may be the "true bride" of the sea god. One year, the offered girl is Shim Cheong, Mina's older brother, Joon's, beloved. In an effort to save her, Mina throws herself into the sea to find a fantastical world under the surface. (YA, historical fantasy)

Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige (The Wizard of Oz)

Amy is a friendless teenager from modern-day Kansas, so a surprise trip to the land of Oz would seem like a blessing. But this version of Oz is twisted, dark, and ruled by none other than the other girl from Kansas, Dorothy herself. (YA, low fantasy)

The Shadow Queen by C. J. Redwine (Snow White)

Lorelai is the crown princess, but she's also a fugitive. Ever since her kingdom was taken by a wicked queen, she and her brother have been forced to run for their lives. She and the queen share one quality, magic, but if Lorelai ever uses it, she'll be guiding the queen straight to her. (YA, high fantasy)

The Blood Spell by C. J. Redwine (Cinderella)

Blue is an aspiring alchemist, hoping to turn other metals into gold to help the people of her city. However, when her father tragically dies and a cruel woman seizes everything Blue knows, she has to turn to her childhood rival, Prince Kellan. Kellan has his own issues, such as a growing pressure to marry, but the worst is the disappearances that seem to rise in number every day. (YA, high fantasy)

Half Upon a Time by James Riley (multiple)

Jack the 13th is supposed to be a hero, save a princess. He thinks that isn't likely to happen until a 'princess' from our world literally falls into his arms. Soon, Jack realizes that this girl's grandmother can be none other than the famous Snow White, but she's been kidnapped, and it's up to Jack and the 'princess', Meg, to save her. (MG, low fantasy)

The Evil Queen by Gena Showalter (Snow White)

Everly lives the life of a normal teenager until she discovers she's not of this world. In this other land of magic, she's a part of a prophecy, one that mirrors the classic tale of Snow White. That would all be great if she weren't destined to become the story's villain, the Evil Queen. (YA, low fantasy)

Daughter of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan (Chang'e)

Xingyin's mother, Chang'e has been imprisoned on the moon for years for stealing the Celestial Emperor's elixir of immortality. When Xingyin's magic flares and she is in danger of being discovered, she must flee the moon. She ends up in the Celestial Kingdom, where she works her way up, hoping to find a way to free her mother. (NA, high fantasy)

Breadcrumbs by Anne Ursu (The Snow Queen)

The Snow Queen made a mirror meant to show people the worst in the world, and when it shatters, a shard gets stuck in the eye of Hazel's best friend Jack. When the Snow Queen whisks him away, Hazel must travel through a treacherous, wintery forest to save him. (MG, low fantasy)

Malice by Heather Walter (Sleeping Beauty)

Alyce is the infamous Dark Grace, whose powers bring curses and misfortune, unlike her sisters, who can conjure gifts and beauty. She dreams of escaping the prejudiced Kingdom of Briar, but her growing powers and an involvement with the royal family could keep her trapped forever. (adult, fantasy romance)

KEY

MG: middle grade, ages 8-12

YA: young adult, ages 13-18

NA: new adult, ages 18-early twenties

adult: ages 18 and up

high fantasy: fantasy stories set entirely within another world

low fantasy: fantasy stories split between our world and another

magical realism: fantasy stories set in our world, often interwoven with aspects of modern life (not the Latin American literary movement!)

historical fantasy: fantasy stories set in a historical setting of our world

fantasy romance: fantasy stories focused on romantic plotlines instead of other forms of plot

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freakoutgirl · 8 months

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#i have several more in my bed but they are excluded

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templeofoccultpractices · 9 months

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1-KING BA'EL

Enn:Ayer Secor On Ca Ba'el

Other names: Baal, Beelzebub

King Bael for beginner to advanced practitioners. He rules over solstices and fire festivals and can bring together friends. He can spark creativity and instruct people in matters of the heart. If you seek him for wealth, let it be in creative wealth or wealth created by creative projects. It is suggested you wear his sigil when invoking him. he is a spirit of shape shifting and can help you shapeshift in your dreams. He is a powerful familiar spirit who may bring one much instinctual impulses in relation to animals and dream shape shifting. He brings strength and influence over people, though not through wit or wisdom.

Ba'al

Ba'al (Hebrew:בַּעַל) the god of fertility, weather, rain, wind, lightning, seasons, war, sailors. His symbol is of the bull, ram, and thunderbolt. His Greek equivalent was Zeus and his Egyptian equivalent was Set, Horus. The Baʿal of Ugarit was the epithet of Hadad but as the time passed, the epithet became the god's name while Hadad became the epithet. Baʿal was usually said to be the son of Dagan, but appears as one of the sons of El in Ugaritic sources. Both Baʿal and El were associated with the bull in Ugaritic texts, as it symbolized both strength and fertility. He held special enmity against snakes, both on their own and as representatives of Yammu (lit. "Sea"), the Canaanite sea god and river god. He fought the Tannin (Tunnanu), the "Twisted Serpent", "Lotan the Fugitive Serpent", and the "Mighty One with Seven Heads". Baʿal's conflict with Yammu is now generally regarded as the prototype of the vision recorded in the 7th chapter of the biblical Book of Daniel. As vanquisher of the sea, Baʿal was regarded by the Canaanites and Phoenicians as the patron of sailors and sea-going merchants. As vanquisher of Mot, the Canaanite death god, he was known as Baʿal Rāpiʾuma and regarded as the leader of the Rephaim, the ancestral spirits, particularly those of ruling dynasties.

Beelzebub

Beelzebub (baalzebub, beelzebul) said to be a prince of hell and rules over envy and gluttony. The Dictionnaire Infernal describes Beelzebub as a being capable of flying, known as the "Lord of the Flyers", or the "Lord of the Flies". In the Testament of Solomon is an Old Testament pseudepigraphical work, purportedly written by King Solomon, in which the author mostly describes particular demons whom he enslaved to help build Solomon's Temple, with substantial Christian interpolations. Beelzebul (not Beelzebub) appears as prince of the demons and says that he was formerly a leading heavenly angel who was associated with the star Hesperus. Seemingly, Beelzebul here is synonymous with Lucifer. Beelzebul claims to cause destruction through tyrants, to cause demons to be worshipped among men, to excite priests to lust, to cause jealousies in cities and murders, and to bring about war.

Call upon King Bael for

⬩Instructions in the matter of the heart

⬩Invisibility (to be noticed less by others)

⬩Fertility

⬩Shape Shifting in dreams

⬩Sparking creativity

⬩Storms

⬩Wealth

⬩Ask him what else he's willing to work with you on⬩

⊱•━━━━━━⊰In Ritual⊱━━━━━•⊰

You can use

Enn:Ayer Secor On Ca Ba'el

Sigil:posted above

Plant:Fern

Incense: Frankincense

⬩Yellow/black candles or objects

⬩Do ask King Bael yourself what he likes⬩

in my experience he likes the incense frankincense and Sandalwood, I use frog/toad/ and cat items to represent him on my altar.

⬩It is important to learn protections before trying to work with any spirits. You can get tricksters and parasites if you don't.

Cleansings- cleaning your space of negative energies. You can burn herbs or incense for this.

Banishings- forcing negative energies out of your space. The lesser banishing ritual is one of the most commonly used.

Warding- wards keep negative energy out of your space. Amulets, sigils and talismans do this.

Set up a your space and do a cleanse and banishing. Have wards up in your home. Meditation is to calm yourself and get your mind ready. The sigil (symbol) is what you draw on paper. The enn is what you chant or say to call forth the spirit.⬩

#occult #demonology #Goetia #ars goetia #deity #King #Bael #king bael #beelzebub #ba'al #witchbr

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unofficialdigby · 4 years

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Happy Birthday Prince!

This lazy frog gets his name from the frog prince, though due to his facial hair pattern and love for music (with instruments or a stereo in his house in nearly every game), some rumors point to him being loosely based on the artist formerly known as Prince as well! He loves to play, naruto running, singing, and touching furniture all over the island. His favorite song, Only Me, also hints to the Prince (the artist) connection, as the album cover feels a LOT like a Prince album. One day, Prince wants to be a carpenter, and currently he’s skilled at playing old maid. This year, he’s invited everyone on the island to his party, so you better be there or be square!

#ac_birthday_board #acnl #ACNL Birthday #birthday #Happy Birthday #birthday board #animal crossing #animal crossing birthday #acnh #acnh birthday #new horizons #new leaf #july 21 #animal crossing new horizons #animal crossing new leaf #birthday frog #Frog Villager #prince #prince animal crossing

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sunsetcurveofficial · 4 years

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fics by yours truly

sometimes i write. you can find me on ao3 here. this is a list of all my most relevant fics. there are some ouat/cs and doctor who/tenrose ones to be found on my ao3 as well, though.

Merlin/Merthur:

golden as i open my eyes

The Once and Future King shall unite the lands of Albion and bring magic back to the kingdom, they'd said. But then Arthur had died before any of that could come to pass and Merlin had to make the easy choice to bring him back by giving him half of his own remaining lifespan. Well, he might have miscalculated a bit. So there they were, on the verge of a golden age, and the possibilities suddenly seemed limitless. The story they were a part of had just taken a different turn.

Words: 16,404; Rating: M

Love, Merlin

Merlin and Arthur have been best friends since they were kids, but even though they’re inseparable, life always seems to be getting in their way, separating them against their will. Timing, fate, and life itself seem to have conspired against them and when it comes to love, there always seems to be someone else. Will they ever get their timing right and both realize that they were meant to be together since the beginning of time (quite literally), and that even across time and space, the bond they share can never be severed? A tale of magic, friendship, family, and a love that outlasts centuries.

(Love Rosie AU)

Words: 66,823; Rating: M

Dreams Don’t Turn To Dust

In a world where every person starts dreaming about their soulmate on the day of their 16th birthday, Prince Arthur is expected to be the soulmate of a beautiful princess. But when the big day finally rolls around, it turns out that his true soulmate is as far from a beautiful princess as one could get… a peasant boy with magic.

Words: 4221; Rating: T

Podfic read by me: [Podfic] Dreams Don't Turn To Dust

The Frog King

Arthur gets turned into a frog when he tries to protect Merlin from Morgana, and there’s only one way to reverse the spell.

Words: 3105; Rating: T

Sleepyhead

Merlin has a habit of falling asleep after sex and Arthur loves teasing him for it. That is, until a very sleepy Merlin accidentally proposes to him one night… or does he?

Words: 1874; Rating: M

Of Bumbling Fools and Awkward Nights

At the end of the day real life just wasn’t like the movies, and it wasn’t like fancy novels loved to describe it.

In which Merlin is clumsy, Arthur farts, and their first night together just isn’t quite like either of them expected.

Words: 2245; Rating: M

Worth It

Sometimes Merlin thought about that first night in the pub, when he’d been sure that putting up with Arthur Pendragon wasn’t worth any possible benefit that might come from it at all. Looking at the wide and shining smile in front of him now, he knew it had been worth it after all; all of it.

Words: 2921; Rating: T

With All My Heart And Soul

Arthur couldn’t believe that it had taken him an awful lot of alcohol on multiple occasions to finally get to this point. Well, that, and a firm kick in the arse by Gwaine, who probably had planned it all out all along and was smirking smugly to himself now.

Words: 8112; Rating: M

Nothing but the Truth

After almost eight years of being Arthur’s manservant and friend, Merlin was pretty certain that he’d seen almost everything and that nothing could truly surprise him anymore. Goblins, trolls, love spells, donkeys - he’d seen it all. But nothing could have prepared him for this: Arthur under the influence of a truth serum that showed them all just how much the king liked to keep to himself. Usually.

Words: 7363; Rating: T

Harry Potter/Drarry:

Antidote

Harry and Draco are ex-bandmates, formerly the two most popular members of the world's most successful boyband of their time, Diagon Alley. What nobody knows? They are also ex-lovers, who haven't seen each other in 3 years, ever since Draco left the band. Unknowingly, they've been invited to the same event, where they inevitably run into each other and both realise that they're far from over that thing they had. Turns out that you can only run for so long until you run out of breath and that every secret has a habit of coming out eventually.

Words: about 37k when it’s complete; Rating: M

High on Our History

Sometimes a single decision can change your whole history. Sometimes a simple question and a little bit of insistence can make all the difference. Sometimes all you need is someone who thinks you deserve a second chance.

Draco nearly crumbles under the weight of the Dark Mark and the task he has been given. It’s like a constant weight on his shoulders that just would not let him breathe, would not budge, no matter how hard he tries. But there is another constant during his horrendous sixth year at Hogwarts, always around a corner, always watching: Potter. And Potter seems hellbent on saving him.

Words: 72,736; Rating: M

Gilmore Girls/Literati:

Nice Little Place in the Stars

“Oh my god,” Lorelai announced as she put down the new chapter of Rory’s manuscript. Rory frowned at her, eyebrows raised in question. “You’re still in love with him. You realize that, don't you, honey? You’re still in love with Jess.” Rory sunk back into her chair as the realisation dawned on her that Lorelai was right. She’d known, deep down, but having her mother confront her like that with the truth…

“Oh my god!” She jumped up, her hands nervously rubbing over her growing belly as she started pacing. “Oh my god! I’m in love with Jess! I love Jess. I’m still in love with him.”

Words: 10,579; Rating: T

more to come and be added soon <3

#merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #drarry #harry potter #hp #my writing #my fics #my fic #mine #merlin fanfic #merthur fanfic #drarry fanfic #drarry fic #fic rec #hihi #pinned

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romijuli · 4 years

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catch me fighting this dollmaker for good skintones for an HOUR. anyway.

I’ve desperately needed to redesign (and rewrite the descriptions for) the cursebreaker kids for a while, and actually...design poor harp....anyway. Hopefully once i get my wordpress revamped i can write stuff for these guys!!!!

Under the cut WE GOT more detailed info and some pronouns and shit. Hell yeah. it is 11:30 pm and boy does it show.

Sunshine (formerly known as Princess Corona Alexandrite V) (she/her)

Fairytale basis: Sleeping Beauty

Curse: To sleep for 100 years, until her true love’s kiss wakes her up. Do you see the problem here. Do you see the problem here.

Price of Curse Breaking: Can no longer sleep.

SUNSHINE my gal. My girl. The former POV protag but still nominal leader of this group for some reason. If her name evokes Big Self-Chosen Name feelings that’s cause that’s exactly what happened. Having been forcibly woken after about two centuries of cursed slumber to a ruined kingdom, Sunshine here is...a little confused. She should have been woken up by true love’s kiss, but she doesn’t really feel much at all for Jack, the curse breaker slash her new employer, but he still must be her true love, right? Not to mention all the modern nonsense, and her kingdom being utterly destroyed... With a kind heart and an interesting way of viewing the world around her, she’s hard to dislike. She’s just....clueless.

Ripple (formerly Princet ?????? of ???????????) (they/them)

Fairytale Basis: The Frog Prince

Curse: Stuck as a frog forever, until they lay “one webbed foot” on their soulmate. You see the problem here, too? This one was intentional.

Price of Curse Breaking: Water is no longer their friend. Do not put Ripple in water.

Ripple! Actual POV protag and total shithead, at least at first. Ripple here had the misfortune of pissing off a river nymph, who retaliated with Immortal Frog Curse. They spent about 500 years like this, so long that they ultimately forgot their name, where they came from...in the end, relying on their newfound fairy friends to give them a new name. At the end of it all, they had actually grown used to their froggy form, so Jack bein like “hey bro your curse is broken” is...unpleasant. They’re a bit of a know-it-all, a bit on the childish side, but their main problem is that they just have no clue how people work.

Ivy (just...Ivy.) (she/her)

Fairytale Basis: The Princess and the Pea...or more specifically, the musical Once Upon A Mattress, at least as far as the backstory is concerned.

Curse: To wander the world in a thoughtless daze, until the empress who cursed her no longer rules the land. And since that empress is a mermaid who naturally lives longer, well, Ivy’s shit outta luck.

Price of Curse Breaking: Cannot keep a SINGLE pertinent thought to herself. If she has something to say about a person or situation, she is forced to say it, no matter how bad this makes things.

Ivy! Arguably the most competent person in the group! Ivy just wanted to fulfill whatever role her ancestor (supposedly a sorcerer princess who’d been overthrown and exiled by a mermaid empress, or something like that) had in mind for her, but unfortunately the empress had other plans in mind. Stubborn and more than a bit hotheaded, Ivy might actually have it the worst off in terms of the price of Jack’s services, but she’ll make do. Somehow. If she doesn’t piss everyone else off first.

Harp (who the hell knows what they were doin before this.) (they/them)

Fairytale Basis: ?????

Curse: who knows, assuming they have one at all??

Harp is...kind of Jack’s secretary, staying behind and monitoring our Cursebreakers while they embark on whatever adventures Jack sends them on...until the trio insist on bringing them along. Harp’s painfully nervous, and it takes more than a bit to get them to warm up to the rest of the group. Never spotted (except...in these designs.......) without their cloak, which functions almost as a sort of security blanket?

#cursebreaker project #yes jack's name is taken from jack in the beanstalk. i have a pocketful of fairy tale references #wanna hear my take on the three little pigs? it's Stupid #chel's oc hours #im real proud of all these designs tbh but sunshine's and ivy's stick out to me

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t-underneaththeradardancing · 5 years

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o boy - the froggies back they b - @buffleheadcabin hopped on board btw in the interim

one always hopes

for a frog when kissing a prince - herd a line i like - it aint trickin if u already got it - not sure how apropos that is - a diss on princes but not the purple one - ohhhh no - i like the artist

formerly known as

its still froggy fri eve - at least when i start this - i gave u the cryptic rundown awready - not sure but feel like a forgetting - lots of times - lately a lot theres reasons - i start the process and get interrupted - it dont take much - a meow - i think of a song i might wanna hear - i start singing to wat playing and zone the fuck out for a minnit - if i carry my guitar in public ppl look at me different - i dont get offered a seat onna bus fer instance - wait wtf this got to do w froggies

the kitty ? the goodest ever - a bit after midnight now - see wat happen when i trance into deep space - gotta find a froggie song to celebrate like kool and the gang - actually that’l do - yah a celebration - then we get on the peace or love or soul train - anywhere but clarksville

#frog friday #poetry i guess

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lbigreyhound13 · 5 years

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Here is a oneshot I wrote in Eugene’s POV about the heart-to-heart he had with Pascal, in addition to a drawing of our favorite Dark Prince and Frog! The story can be found here and down below!

Heart-to-Heart with Frog

The silence in the Dark Castle was almost deafening as I waited for my fa—the Dark King—the brooding armor guy—I didn’t know what to call him left me here to go find a rope to get us close to the Moonstone. As soon as he came back, we were supposed to destroy it…to prevent others…especially Rapunzel from suffering the fate as my mother. My head was just spinning. Ever since this King guy told me I was his son and told me about the Moonstone…it’s been information overload, and on top of that, he told me that my…mother died in trying to destroy it… Now, he believed that it was my destiny to destroy it with him…but that would mean that Rapunzel wouldn’t get to fulfill hers.

I cringed as tears welled in my eyes. I could still see the look of utter betrayal and shock on my Sunshine’s face and still hear her voice when she pounded on the door begging me to let her in.

“Eugene! Let me in! EUGENE!”

As much as it killed me to prevent her from entering the castle to do what she came to do…I couldn’t stand the thought of Rapunzel suffering the same fate as my mother…the Dark Queen. Rapunzel and I were supposed to have a future together, and if that meant that she would probably never forgive me for this, then so be it. As the King said, it was my destiny to protect the love of my life, right? I couldn’t just let my girl go into this with no clue as to what could happen to her, right? If I really was this lost-lost Prince of the Dark Kingdom…this Dark Prince—I guess…then perhaps, I needed to uphold that for Rapunzel’s sake…right?

I was so lost in my thoughts that I barely noticed the door opening. I had prepared myself to hear the King’s voice, but what I got was a high-pitched squeak. I looked up, and sure enough I was barely able to make out a green dot in the doorway.

“Pascal?” I asked. The frog squeaked and walked over to where I was sitting. “What are you doing here?”

I knew he wouldn’t be able to tell me verbally, but he stood at my feet and crossed his arms turning his body red glaring at me.

“Are you okay, Frog?” I asked.

The only answer he could give me was an angry squeak.

Even though I couldn’t understand him, I knew exactly what he was telling me. He was clearly angry over what I did to Rapunzel. Now, any normal person wouldn’t care what a frog felt, but they hadn’t met Pascal. When he was angry, you knew it right away, and right now, I was that person. I could only cross my arms feeling the guilt increase tenfold. “Y-Yeah…yeah…I-I know…I know you’re mad at me,” I ran a hand through my hair, “but I-I didn’t have a choice.”

Then he spat at me, clearly thinking that that was a lousy excuse, and honestly, I couldn’t blame him for thinking that. I had to make him understand though.

So, I picked him up and stood us up on the pedestal showing him the statues of...my ancestors and showing him that I was—probably—the son of the Dark King...the Dark Prince. “Look, this is going to sound crazy, but this place…is where I come from.”

Pascal seemed to understand what I was telling him because his red color faded back into his normal green color as he turned around to look at me.

“I know we brought Rapunzel here to grab the stone, but everything…everything is different now.” It was the truth. That was before I learned that I was this prince guy and that my mother was killed in trying to destroy it. How could I possibly let Rapunzel risk her life when it’s likely she will suffer the same fate? “Look, the last time someone tried to destroy the moonstone…I lost my mother.”

Pascal made a sad squeak and patted me on my thumb with a sad look on his face. It’s almost as if he understood what I was dealing with, and to be honest, I never thought I would see the day where I would bond with a frog over a deceased relative. Rapunzel had told me that Pascal was alone when they met so it was pretty likely. Maybe he could understand why I betrayed Rapunzel and decided to destroy the Moonstone instead.

“I mean, what if we lost Rapunzel, Pascal?” I asked. The thought of losing the woman I loved to this stone made my stomach churn, but I knew that Pascal could see where I was coming from since he and Rapunzel had been best friends forever.

He looked back at me and squeaked as he raised an eyebrow—I guess—at me. Then he quickly ran up my arm and down into my pocket taking out a small piece of paper showing it to me with a glare on his face. I immediately recognized it as the paper Demanitus gave to me yesterday, so I took it from Pascal and read it.

“One of her company will turn against her.”

That was when it hit me! “It’s me!” I said aloud. I was so shocked that I barely missed Pascal’s squeak of affirmation. “I’m…the one who turned against Rapunzel.” I wasn’t sure why it didn’t occur to me that I ended up fulfilling Demanitus’s prediction; I didn’t let her into the castle. I prevented the woman I loved from fulfilling her destiny…all because I decided to side with a brooding armor guy, who was apparently my father, and this was all after I told Rapunzel that I had faith in her and believed her.

“The moon cannot be seen without the sun’s light. She gives you light. Now you must return the favor with your faith.”

“I do have faith. I’ve always had faith in Rapunzel.”

“Blondie, you’re going to save us.”

“How?!”

“I don’t know, but I’ve always believed in us. I’ve always believed in you.”

How could I have been so stupid to go back on my word and to go against the love of my life? How could I have been so stupid to doubt my girlfriend after all the amazing things I’ve seen her do…after a few minutes of talking to this guy, who said he was my father? Pascal quickly snapped me out of my thoughts as he ran up my arms and around my head and back onto my shoulder.

“I should’ve known better,” I finally said.

Just because I was apparently this…dark prince guy…that didn’t mean that I should stop being who I was at this moment. I might’ve been born a prince destined to hide the moonstone from the world, but that wasn’t who I became. I was still Eugene Fitzherbert, a poor orphan-turned-thief, formerly known as Flynn Rider, who saved the Lost Princess of Corona. I was the moon to Rapunzel’s sun! None of us were sure of what would happen to Rapunzel once she grabbed the stone, but…I had to have faith that everything would be okay…that she and I would get to go home to Corona with our friends and one day settle down to get married.

At that exact moment, I knew what my destiny was: find my girlfriend, makes things right, and help her fulfill her own destiny…no matter what! I smiled at Pascal and ripped up the paper Demanitus gave me. The prophecy might’ve been fulfilled, but there was nothing preventing me from trying to make things right with Rapunzel.

“Alright, Pascal,” I said as I began to run out of the room with the frog on my shoulder, “let’s go find Rapunzel.”

#tangled the series #tangled the series spoilers #rapunzel’s tangled adventure #rapunzel’s tangled adventure spoilers #lbigreyhound13's art

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gamebunny-advance · 2 years

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Grab Bag Doodle Dump

1) “Let’s Do a Science!”: The start of a comic I was gonna do about testing the limits of DJSS’s size-shifting powers. Here’s the beginning of the first draft, but I think it meanders too much, so if I do come back to this comic, I’m probably just gonna start it at the experimentation.

NJ(looking at DJ): Hm... DJ: What is it?

NJ: When you shape-shift, your clothes grow with you, right? So does that work on anything you're holding?

DJ: I've never tried it. NJ: You've never been curious about that? DJ: I've thought about it, but I've never done it. NJ: Then let's try it out! DJ: No way. NJ: Why not?? I really want to see what will happen! DJ: It takes too much energy to grow that much. NJ: Does it? DJ: Jay, if I could just be big whenever I wanted, then I wouldn't be this short.

2) (White) 1010 Relationship Headcanons: I was making a chart to show how well each 1010 gets along with each other. This is for Canonish.

Best Friends <-> Enemies: How friendly they are with each other.

White is significantly closer to Red than the others for reasons I’ve already talked about, and even in Canonish, Green is the 1010 he gets along with the least, but they’re still amicable. It’s just that Green is a little more openly mischievous in Canonish along with Yellow, so they wear him out a bit more. Blue is just kinda normal with him.

Totally in Sync <-> Different Wavelengths:

How similar they are to each other and how often they are to agree with one another. Despite getting along with him the least, White and Green usually agree most of the time, since they’re both level-headed for the most part. Yellow and Blue tend to be a little too extreme for him to handle, between Blue’s 0 or 100 attitude and Yellow’s bizarre functions, White really has his hands full.

Complete Respect <-> No Respect:

As the leader, White respects all of his subordinates equally. Any variation is only due to their ranking in the system. When it comes to taking care of his team, he considers all of their concerns and suggestions with an equal amount of care, no matter how ridiculous they may be.

3) “15″: Just a White/Green doodle for the Malt Shop AU. I think it’s a little boring though, it could stand to be zoomed out a bit more to do some cuter posing. I will finish the key drawings for this series, there’s just other things I’ve wanted to work on more.

4-5) Kun3h0 doodles.

6) Yogurt doodle. I found some holographic star ribbon in my stash, so I might swap out his collar and add some more accessories.

7) OC Doodles. Just doodles of some of my OCs. It started as being graphics for a hypothetical fighting game, but it devolved into just doodling them.

From left to right: Kun3h0, Carol, The Prince Formerly Known as Frog, Shapeshifter, Android.

For fun, I also made some alt colors for Carol, but I’m not gonna post ‘em all because I really need to fix him anyway. (He’s holding his knife the wrong way for starters XP.) But here are their names, so maybe you can just guess what the references would have been.

Original (Carnival)

Bootleg

0558

Fanboy

Aisu

Sandy

Twenty-One

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theinternetisaweboflies · 3 years

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his name is the frog formerly known as prince

#frog #frogs #pets #animals #prince

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a-chapter-a-day · 5 years

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The Princess and the Frog

We all know this story, right? There’s a princess, there’s a talking frog. He asks for a kiss. She obliges. He turns into a handsome prince, they are wed, and everyone lives happily ever after. Right?

Wrong. So, so wrong.

Today’s Actual Fairy Tale is Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm’s “The Frog King or Iron Heinrich”.

So there’s this gorgeous princess: she’s the youngest of the king’s daughters, which we should keep in mind. It’s not clear in this story how old the princess is, but she seems VERY young. It’s kind of creepy.

Anyway, she likes to go out to the woods where there is a well or spring, and play with her favorite toy (see? young), a golden ball. She likes to toss it in the air and catch it, and of COURSE one day it falls in the well. And she bawls like a baby.

So this frog pops up, and goes, “What’s the matter?” She explains, and he offers to get the golden ball for her, on one condition:

“If you will love me and accept me as a companion and playmate, and let me sit next to you at your table and eat from your golden plate and drink from your cup and sleep in your bed, if you will promise this to me, then I'll dive down and bring your golden ball back to you."

The princess agrees. But if you think this is going to be a sweet story about a princess learning to love a frog once she gives him a chance, you’ve got another think coming. The princess is lying the entire time: probably has her fingers crossed behind her back. She wants her toy back, and she has NO INTENTION of honoring her side of the bargain. She proves this immediately when the frog fetches her toy for her, and she grabs it and runs off, leaving him shouting for her to come back.

So the next night, she’s at dinner, and she hears “Plip plop, plip plop” as the frog comes up the steps of the castle. He calls for her, and she opens the door--to find the frog. She FREAKS OUT and slams the door in his face. Her dad’s like, “Who was it, honey?” And she’s like, “Oh, nothing, nobody, nuh-uh, just a gross, ugly frog.”

The king asks, like a reasonable person, “Well, what does the frog want with you?”

I don’t know why she didn’t make something up, but she didn’t: she told her father what happened. And her father was like, “I don’t CARE if he’s an ugly frog: You have to keep your promises! Go let in the frog!”

So now the princess is really sulky, and she lets the frog in, and the King INSISTS that she allow the frog to eat off of her plate. The frog’s happy as a clam, but the princess is GROSSED OUT and loses her appetite. And the frog’s like, “Welp, now it’s bedtime! Carry me to your bed!” And the princess is freaking out, because EW. Which, I have to say, I rather agree.

But the king points out that you have to reward people who help you, and he’s not wrong.

She picked the frog up with two fingers, carried him upstairs, and set him in a corner. As she was lying in bed, he came creeping up to her and said, "I am tired, and I want to sleep as well as you do. Pick me up or I'll tell your father."

Apparently this frog has never heard of the all-American no-snitching rule.

But the princess sure as hell had.

This is the part of the story that cracks me up. I have no idea where they got the idea that the princess turned the frog into a prince by KISSING him: she turned him into the prince by trying to KILL him!

With that she became bitterly angry and threw him against the wall with all her might. "Now you will have your peace, you disgusting frog!"

But when he fell down, he was not a frog, but a prince with beautiful friendly eyes.

So... uh... yeah. If there’s a moral here, which I don’t think there is, it’s not that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince: it’s that you have to DECK A LOT OF GROSS WEIRDOS.

No, but it gets weirder. Apparently, since her father had told the princess to sleep in the same bed as the frog, that means that the Prince Formerly Known As Frog is now officially MARRIED to her??

So the next day they go off to his kingdom. And there’s this servant, Faithful Heinrich, who was SO SAD about his master having been turned into a frog by a witch that he had to put three iron bands around his heart.

That must be a pain in the ass in customs.

Anyway, as they’re driving off they keep hearing these loud CRACKS, and they think it’s the carriage falling apart, but it’s actually the iron bands breaking because Heinrich is SO HAPPY that his FREAKY FROG PRINCE is back to being a NORMAL HUMAN PRINCE due to a FORTUNATE CONCUSSION and has married a PETULANT CHILD.

The end.

#fairy tales #the frog prince #lol #brothers grimm #actual fairy tales

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kukuandkookie · 5 years

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All characters of my Star vs the Forces of Evil next gen so far! This is the post that contains all their bios and trivia.

Now onto introductions!

From (your) left to (your) right, we have:

Katrina: one of the many children of Buff Frog (aka Yvgeny Bulgolyubov) and a very smart/talented fighter. She spends much of her day working out, and since the monsters have found more peace on Mewni, she's joined the Butterfly royal guard in a sort of integration program.

Meteora: formerly the villain Miss Heinous, Meteora received a second chance at life when she was reborn. She was raised by her mom Eclipsa and dad Globgor, and while they ruled Mewni after the issues of the true Butterfly bloodline and monster vs Mewman were settled, Meteora eventually decided to give the throne back to Star Butterfly. She now acts as an adviser and tutor to Star's children, and may or may not have a crush on Marco Jr.

Marco Jr: the next son of Angie and Rafael Diaz, Marco Jr (aka MJ) has grown up surrounded by magic and mayhem. He's gotten used to it though, and even joins his older brother Marco on his trips back to Mewni. He is a very chill and relaxed person, much more than his brother, and enjoys going where the winds take him. He has a strong talent in music, and may or may not have a crush on Meteora.

Harleen: the eldest daughter of Foolduke and Ruberiot, she's grown up with her mother's sense of humour and her father's performance skills. She loves clowning around and often does comedic clown routines, and while a little destructive with an affinity for chaos, she has a good heart.

Aloe: a little shy and kind of awkward, Aloe is the eldest son of Slime and Princess Spiderbite. As he is half-slime monster, he oozes a lot of slime and this often causes him to be rather clumsy. He's not the most commanding of princes, but he's very sweet and can always find the good in others.

Coloratura aka Rara: musically talented, this unicorn from the Cloud Kingdom is famed for her songs and performances. She's also very kind and mature, although she has a strong desire to make her mark on society. She got to know the others during a misadventure in the Cloud Kingdom seeking her autograph, and she was happy to make friends, since her life can get rather lonely.

Muse: ethereally charming and incredibly smart, Muse is the son of Janna and Oskar. Because his mother became the talent agent and manager for his musician father, Muse has always lived a life in the limelight. Growing up like this means he knows how to be fast on his feet, and rather than pick up his father's spacey attitude, he's instead inherited Janna's keen senses of business and...well, other talents, like pickpocketing. Muse is known to be a flirt and a heartbreaker, but he's still a loyal friend.

Quince: despite being Harleen's younger brother, Quince is very much so not like his sister. He has spent a lot of his life under the tutelage of their family friend Mime Girl, and his easily frightened nature means he's chosen to pursue the path of a mime rather than a clown like Harleen, or a jester like their mother Foolduke.

Chandelure: one day, when Hekapoo was very very bored, she happened to drop a little bit of wax and eventually Chandelure was born. While his mother is not all that present in his life, Chandelure has no issues with that. He's learned the craft of making dimension-hopping scissors from Hekapoo, and works with her in safeguarding travel between dimensions. Chandelure is incredibly independent and snarky, so talking to him can often feel very one-sided. That being said, he is a good friend.

Weslie: son of Princess Ram and Heartrude Butterfly, Weslie is the prince to his mother's kingdom. He is very cheerful and clever, and while friendly, he knows when to stand his ground. In the crisis of the werewolves attempting to invade the Kingdom of the Green Pastures, he's helped in fighting them back. He has many friends in his own kingdom, but he greatly loves visiting his Butterfly family in Mewni.

Tyrian: the only child of Tom Lucitor, king of the Underworld, and his wife, Jackie Lynn Thomas, Tyrian is not at all what most people expect from a demon prince. He's quite shy and often even lonely, and has weak demon powers because he's not even half-demon (Tom himself is half-demon). Despite this, he does have a temper, and when it flares, his demonic powers really seem to come out quite strong. His hair turns from blond to red when he's uncomfortable, and when angry, his hair can burst into flames (at max rage mode, his hair becomes a blue flame).

Shiara: as a descendant of the Pony Head royal family, Shiara may be able to inherit the throne...but there is quite a lot of competition, and Shiara herself has little interest in ruling. She mainly loves going out for parties and having fun. Despite this, her sense of responsibility kicks in when it's needed, and she has a love of puzzles.

Celeste: twin sister to Crescent and the daughter of Star and Marco, Celeste is much more like her mother in personality. She's quite an unorthodox princess and doesn't really have interest in studying magic or how to be the next queen, even though as the girl, she is to inherit the Mewni throne. Celeste loves to make friends. While she was quite close to Crescent when they were younger, she is disappointed by his distant attitude now.

Crescent: twin brother to Celeste and the son of Star and Marco, Crescent is more like his father. While not as safety-focused or as willing to let loose and have fun, Crescent is quite serious and even studious. He works hard to perfect his magic and learn how to be a good royal for the benefits of Mewni, especially because he is one of the rare instances of a boy being born to the Butterfly family. This means that he can't inherit the throne according to tradition because he has a sister, and this has made him grow jealous of her, especially because she doesn't take her studies seriously. While she received the wand instead of him, it split in half when he grabbed it, making his very faded cheek marks finally visible.

Whitney: daughter of Brittney Wong, Whitney is not nearly as mean as her mother. She is kind of spoiled and often plays dumb, but she's actually quite clever. While being raised to be a picture perfect child, Whitney personally dislikes the way her mother runs things and how the rich people around them act. It is through meeting Crescent and Celeste that she eventually grows as a person and can learn to stand up to her mother.

Kyle: the only son of Kelly, Kyle does not know who his father is. Kelly spends much of her time training as a warrior, and while Kyle has studied martial arts as well, he prefers curling up with a good book much more. He desires to know everything about everything. Being quite emotionless and even snarky, Kyle can be difficult to befriend, but he often doesn't mean to hurt anyone when he seems a little too straightforward.

Vera: the second child of Slime and Princess Spiderbite, Vera is a very cheerful and happy little girl. She's very outgoing and optimistic, coming off as the opposite of her older brother Aloe, but like him, she also sees the good in everyone. She is known for her sweet nature, and she also jumps at the chance to learn more about the world. This is perhaps why she's one of the only ones who isn't deterred by Kyle's dead-serious sarcasm, because even as he grows annoyed with her peppiness, he appreciates her desire to learn.

Y'Gythgba aka Mona Lisa: a Septarian, Mona was hatched and taken in by Meteora after the younger kids, including Crescent and Celeste, have a bit of a misadventure in the Mewni swampland where many monsters still live (despite Star, Meteora, and Eclipsa's hard work at reintegrating monsters into Mewman society). There they found an abandoned Septarian egg, which they brought back. Meteora named her Y'Gythba from legends she'd heard of an alien race called the Salamandrians, but when she found the name was quite hard to pronounce for most people, she nicknamed the young Septarian "Mona Lisa", after the famous Earthen masterpiece, in the hopes that Mewmans will see her beauty. This is because even as monsters and Mewmans grow less separated, Septarians remain the one monster race that Mewmans cannot stand, because of Toffee and Seth. Now that they've both been defeated, Meteora is determined to raise Mona without the hatred that many Septarians seem to have, and for the most part, Mona is a very sweet and smart young girl—just with a few violent tendencies. Meteora has put her in training of the royal Mewni army, and Mona has proven to be very skilled in battle. She is very loyal, although she does have a temper. Only time will tell if she ends up being the answer to Mewni's Septarian problem.

Trivia:

Harleen and Quince are based a little bit on Harley Quinn, hence their names. Aren't I clever? Lol.

Yes, Rara is based on the Rara from My Little Pony. I thought it'd be fun to base Pony Head-like characters on MLP, but it was hard choosing who to base them on. I might do a few more based on the mane six and/or princesses.

Muse may look like he has an eye issue, but the extreme sparkliness is thanks to his dad. Oh, and yeah I sort of matched Janna and Oskar for fun; figured it might work.

Chandelure is based on the evolution line of the Pokémon Litwick, Lampent, and Chandelure! I wanted to give Hekapoo a kid even though it seems unlikely she'd ever have one, and basing the kid on that evolution line seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up.

Weslie is based on the character from the series Chinese cartoon Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf (喜羊羊与灰太狼 (Xǐ Yáng Yáng yǔ Huī Tài Láng), with a direct translation being "Pleasant Goat and Grey Big Wolf"). He's specifically based on the main character, 喜羊羊 (Xǐ Yáng Yáng), whose English names include Weslie, Happy, or Pleasant Goat.

Oh, if Weslie's legs look broken, it's because I wasn't sure if I wanted to full-on goat legs or just human legs, so I sort of tried to do both haha.

Shiara's colour scheme comes from this comic where I put in an arbitrary friend for Celeste to goof off with, but she wasn't fully shown and was pretty random.

I do NOT have a parent planned for Shiara, and she isn't Pony Head's kid (I don't really see Pony Head as a mom?). If any of you have suggestions for a parent let me know!

Whitney is 100% based on Whitney Biskit from the show Littlest Pet Shop! I'm considering what if I gave her the twin Britney Biskit but I feel like it'd be weird making Brittney Wong name a child after herself...or maybe not?? Idk, do you guys think I should give her a twin? Or would that take away from the twins Crescent and Celeste?

I gave Kelly a kid just because. x'D

Mona Lisa is 100% based on Mona Lisa from the TMNT 2012 series! I had a free space left and I sort of went, "Why not design one last one?" While scouring my mind for ideas, I thought I'd make a monster kid and ended up choosing the Septarian race for the story ideas. That's when I thought of Mona Lisa—heck, even their species names sound similar lol: Salamandrian (TMNT 2012) and Septarian (SVtFoE).

#svtfoe #stvfoe next gen #kuku88 #my art #next gen oc #svtfoe oc #starco #tomckie #star vs the forces of evil

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the-punslinger · 6 years

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Critical Role Quotes and Funny Moments - Campaign 2 (6/?)

[After Fjord coughs up the salty water after his dream] Beau: “You taste like a seaman.” Travis: “Idunno. I want to shake your hand, but at the same time I wanna smash it.” Matt: “I’ve never been more proud of my wife.”

[Announcing their rolls] Liam/Sam/Laura: “Nein!” Matt: “Nine as well? Wow. It’s like Rammstein on that side of the table.”

[On their new enemies] Nott: “We don’t know what they’re called; we fought one before!” Jester: “Do you know how to kill them?” Nott: “You just hurt them until they die!”

Jester invoking Spiritual Weapon and turning it into a giant lollipop.

Just the amount of nines (NEIN!) the party is throwing in episode 5.

Nott: “‘Hey, what happens to a frog’s wagon when it breaks down? It gets toad away!’ And I will cast Hideous Laughter on the gnoll.”

Matt [introducing the inn keeper]: “He never quite makes eye contact with you. He’s looking at your shoulder, or right above your face.” Nott: “I think he’s got two glass eyes.”

Nott: “‘What did the incontinent druid say on his surprise birthday party? I’m so excited, I wet my plants!’ and casts Hideous Laughter.”

Inn keeper: “Well, if you manage to go and kill some of them dog people, you tell them Thadeus Candleglow says hi.” Jester: “I will.” Molly: “She really will.”·

[As Jester gives a stale donut to the inn keeper whose inn burnt down] Jester: “Here. It’s a moldy donut. Be well, child, the Traveler is with you.” Inn keeper: “I’m not a child, but I appreciate the gesture.” Jester: “You know my name! I leave.” Inn keeper [to himself]: “Gesture. Her name’s Gesture.” Molly: “It is a gesture, like Prince.” Matt: “The adventurer formerly known as Jester.”·

[After a conversation between Fjord and Beau about the gnolls derails into obnoxious small talk] Taliesin: “When did we hire Tom Stoppard to write this?”

#campaign 2 #ep5-6 #the mighty nein #criticalrole

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queennicoleinboots · 3 years

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Bears, Eat Your Heart Out! Chrissy, The Baby Girl with Many Glorious Titles Is Trying To Arrive. Apparently, So Is Everyone Else.

Written by: Xara Nahara Campinelli

Proofread, Edited, and Examined Several Times by: Chrissy, The Baby Girl with Many Glorious Titles

Part 1: Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets Attempts to Address Everyone.

As Megara Ice, Abigail Ice, Kissy, Miss Oreo, and I scurried out of my house, the spaceship from the United Kingdom was making an abrupt landing to the left of the giant spaceship the bears arrived in. A leg of the spaceship from the United Kingdom was touching the wing of the giant spaceship because there was no other place to land. (And even if there were, Mayor Mr. Bill told everyone to land immediately, so they had to land there.)

The large door of the spaceship from the United Kingdom opened dramatically, and a royal red carpet splattered out in front of most of us. A few bears looked puzzled behind the ship as Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets walked dramatically outside of it and stood to address us.

Kiel the Frog croaked to greet him. Duke and Riley Ice barked five times in unison to greet him. Maxwell Ice had to bark 10 times to match the song Duke and Riley Ice were barking.

"Thank you, great frog and great dogs," Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets spoke. "And thank you all for letting us land, but with the current announcement, I don't believe you had much choice."

A few bears chuckled.

All of a sudden, a giant man wearing a black, gray, white, and silver spandex suit that was a cross between Captain America and Superman was holding his big house over his head and flying down from the sky. He had a silver "S" across his chest and had a shield with a silver star in a white circle on the back of it. He had red hair, a full beard, green eyes, and muscles. "Ahhhhh.... it's so hard to land anywhere! The fuck is going on?!" the giant man asked in his naturally loud voice as he was still holding his house above his head upon landing.

"Oh I know, Captain Slammer! We were in orbit for ages before Mayor Mr. Bill commanded us to land!" Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets said dramatically.

Yes. That 12-foot-man was indeed Captain Slammer.

"It's crazy. It's bullshit. My brother, Captain Mechanic is buying land from the guy who owns Chipotle Mexican Grill so I can finally put my house somewhere. This is bullshit. And I DOUBT it's Earth's fault. I just couldn't stay there anymore because it's fucked. It's FUCKED!" Captain Slammer's booming voice naturally shouted.

Captain Slammer is a great superhero. He travels throughout time. He has helped restore balance to the universe. Joebear and I used to read his comics when we were younger. But he has a really loud voice. And it's giving me a headache.

"I'm well aware. Now if you excuse me, I need to address the people," Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets said.

Several wolf pups yelped inside the United Kingdom spaceship.

"OH WILL YOU BE QUIET!? YOU HAVE BEEN BARKING FOR HOURS! I CAN'T BEAR IT ANY LONGER!" Chrissy, Baby Wolf Mama shouted to her pups in her sharp yet pleasant English voice.

The yelps were silenced.

"THANK YOU!" Chrissy, Baby Wolf Mama said joyfully.

"We have arrived in hopes of finding a better life than we could have ever on the burning rock called Earth," Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets spoke.

"Yes," Captain Slammer said to affirm Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets's statement.

The bears, goats, and the wolves inside the ship howled to affirm his statement.

"We wish to bring peace, prosperity, and happiness to everyone. We are working with the reasonable powers that be to make this life workable for all!" Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets spoke.

The bears, goats, and the wolves inside the ship howled to affirm his statement. Count Vanilla growled nine times while his head was out of his freezer.

"Thank you, Count Vanilla. Your affirmation means more to me than you know," Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets said.

Count Vanilla growled proudly nine times as he crawled out of the freezer and approached Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets.

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Part 2: Two bears and two hamsters arrive in a small black spaceship that looked similar to Batman's automobile.

A black small spaceship that looked like the batmobile quickly flew in from space and decided to land on my house. Who the fuck did these people think they were?

A brownish gray female bear, a light orange male bear, and two chestnut giant hamsters crawled out of the batmobile and climbed down off my roof.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Joebear shouted with a menacing growl.

All four creatures froze and stared at Joebear with eyes that were ready to fall out of their heads.

"Oh my God we're sorry! There is literally no other place to land! Every legal landing spot has been taken!" the orange male bear shouted down in a shaky voice as his periwinkle eyes were hanging onto his skull through their optic nerves. He had goggly googly goofy eyes. My husbear had that effect on other bears some times. "Under any other circumstance, we would never even think about landing on someone's house! We absolutely HAD to land here!"

"All right. What are you doing here?" Joebear asked as he stared at them with his dark brown eyes.

"We are looking for Bruce Balalalalalalalalalas. Crazy last name, I know. It's French for 'banana split made with crack cocaine and vanilla ice cream.' I'm his father, Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas, sort of like from Gilligan's Island when it was still being erected from tectonic plate activity on Earth. I'm THAT OLD... sorry. I'm an interdimensional-" the light orange bear started to say.

The female brownish gray bear growled fiercely with sharp teeth and almost shook my house. She shot eye lasers at Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas.

"Gee! Gloria! I'm getting to the point. Excuse me! Gloria! Those eye lasers are giving me third-degree burns!" Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas said with a growl before he spoke again. "Anyway, Gloria, Johnnio, Kavana, and I came to deliver Bruce's items that he was forced to leave during the Mass Bear Exodus from Earth. It took FOREVER to even get the clearance to be allowed here. Every bear and his brother is coming here. It's a great place to live, apparently. It looks like we're living here, too. I will not get jabbed. Fuck the mansion back home. We left that for the housing association in Logantown, GA, in what used to be the United States of America. Now that place is bought and sold by China. Unbelievable. Don't remind our son about that if you ever meet him. He still believes strongly in the American Dream. Do you know where Logantown in a place formerly known as America is? Excuse my syntax. English is not my native language. We're French. My wife, Gloria has Italian and German in her bear blood, but she has the heart of a true French woman." He continued his descent from our roof to the ground.

"Oh wow. I'm German Italian, too. I knew there was something special about you, Gloria. Bruce Balalalalalalalalalas was telling me about you. And yes, we know where Logantown is. We used to conduct our Secret American, when it was American, Society of Sexually-Frustrated Bears meetings there. But I don't think it's so secret anymore," I answered.

Joebear growled at me.

"Haha! You don't know what secret is, kiddo!" Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas said as he and the other three creatures climbed down from the roof.

Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas narrowed her brownish hazel eyes at her husband. I see where Banana Ice gets his looks and mannerisms from.

"Will you relax, Gloria? I have been feeling the sting from those eyes for over a week straight now. Your eye lasers are starting to permanently damage to my skin. Do you mind?" Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas asked her.

"Absolutely I mind. It didn't help that you made a wrong turn at the planet Alberqueque in the New Milkway galaxy. We would have been here much sooner had you just listened to me," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas said in her still heavy French accent as she crawled over him to get to the ground first. Then she looked at us. "Excuse the squabbling. I'm quite fed up with this space travel and all of the political 'onsense that led us to these current events. Do you know where our son is? I miss him terribly." She looked like she was going to cry.

"Your son tends to disappear a lot, but the last I heard of him, he was contemplating getting piercings," I said.

"He was? I had no idea," Abigail Ice said.

"Neither did I. That's news to me!" Megara Ice said.

Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas growled fiercely and then cussed in French. "I am so sick of him destroying such a beautiful face like that. It's an insult to me! Ugh. I curse the invention of facial piercings!!!" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas said loudly in her French accent.

"So do I. Fuck those things," Megara Ice said.

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Part 3: Three large cargo ships carrying items that belonged to the Balalalalalalalalalas family arrived.

Then three large cargo ships landed one in front of the other on top of the large bear spaceship that was as large as the spaceship in the beginning scene of Spaceballs (1987) and Space Odyssey: 2001.

"Oh what the hell?!" Bruce Ice shouted.

"What the hell indeed?! How many interruptions are we going to have before I can finish my address?" Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets asked.

"Ugh. I'm sorry. I just can't be on that spaceship anymore! I must stretch my legs!" Princess Lindsay Carrington burst out of the spaceship wearing a large red space helmet and a royal red dress. I've never seen that woman walk so fast in my life. I thought she was going to trip over her dress.

"Oh I know! It's dreadful! Where is the latrine? I can't handle the one on the ship. It's absolutely ATROCIOUS!" Prince Carrington asked as he followed Princess Lindsay Carrington and wore a bright purple suit, a green shirt, a lavender tie, black shoes, and a purple space helmet. A wolf pup attached itself to Prince Carrington's shoulder. He walked swiftly in step behind his wife.

"Go into the forest for a quarter mile and take a left on Alberqueque Street," Bruce Ice answered.

Prince and Princess Carrington grumbled a "thank you" as they waddled through the forest. The wolf pup squeaked at Bruce Ice.

The men from the cargo ship flew to the elder Balalalalalalalalalas bears. "Your cargo is on the only place we can land. We will have to unpack when living arrangements are addressed. We hope it's soon," one of them said.

"We're working on it," Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas said.

"Where can we get some water in this joint? I'm thirsty as all get-out. AND IT'S HOT!" the male hamster shouted in a loud New York accent.

"Johnnio, please!" Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas shouted.

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Part 4: The New Bruce Balalalalalalalalalas a.k.a. Banana Ice appears and surprises everyone.

Banana Ice walked out of a random place in the forest with a giant mohawk, seven eyebrow piercings above his right eye, six eyebrow piercings above his left eye, a piercing in each nostril, six piercings on his top lip, seven piercings on his bottom lip, 13 piercings along the side of each ear, a black collar with bright yellow bananas hanging off of it, a black T-shirt with a large banana on it, black cargo pants with several silver chains hanging off of them, a spiked belt, and bright white hightop Converses with a light yellow trim around the bottom of his feet. That bear went through a transformation.

"What the hell, Bruce?" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas asked as her mouth dropped.

"Indeed! What the fuck, Bruce Bananas?!" Megara Ice shouted.

"Wow! Who knew piercings could be so sexy?!" Abigail Ice asked as her tongue was drooping out of her mouth.

"Hi Mom. I got collared. I transformed to surprise my new wife, Abigail Ice," Banana Ice said as he stood by Abigail Ice. Abigail Ice wrapped her arm around Banana Ice's waist. "She's the daughter of Bruce and Megara Ice and my Domme. She's great. Also, thank you for arriving. With you, Dad, Johnnio, Kavana, Maxwell, my batmobile car (thank you, Dad, for fixing it.), and cargo, I now feel at home."

"What?! You got married, Abigail Ice?! When?! Why wasn't I informed of this?! What the fuck is going on?!" Megara Ice rattled on with the questions.

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Part 5: Female bears growl at each other and find their role in the pack.

Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas walked over to Banana Ice and Abigail Ice and hugged Banana Ice while narrowing her eyes and growling at Abigail Ice. Abigail Ice stepped back and had wide eyes as she stared at Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas. Megara Ice then walked next to Banana Ice and Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas and growled at Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas. Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas growled at Megara Ice.

"Mom. Megara Ice. Please. If I may explain. We eloped. We don't really have the time for a ceremony, given the current political climate and volatile Plague situation, right now. I'll explain more when given the chance," Banana Ice said.

Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas kissed Banana Ice loudly on the cheek. Megara and Abigail Ice growled at Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas. Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas growled at Banana Ice. Banana Ice gulped and stared at his father.

Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas growled loudly at Abigail and Megara Ice before she hugged Banana Ice more tightly and spoke softly to him, "Fair enough, Bruce m'dear. I missed you. But you're more ridiculous than ever. And what the HELL are those shoes? They look like actual bananas," she said.

"I agree with you," Megara Ice said to Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas.

"Merci. At least we can agree with something other than how ridiculous Bruce's piercings are. Why would he do this to such a gorgeous face?" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas asked as she rubbed his chin.

Megara Ice nodded as she crossed her arms. "It's beyond my comprehension as well," she said.

"Oh these?" Banana Ice said as he smirked and pointed to his shoes. "They're super comfortable. And they're pretty fly, even for a white bear. It only took me a minute to buy them."

Megara Ice then stared daggers at Banana Ice.

"And how long did the piercings take?" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas asked as she analyzed him.

"Two and a half hours, give or take a minute," Banana Ice answered.

Maxwell Ice rushed over before rolling on the ground and laugh-barking.

"I know this is off topic, but I'm technically Johnnio Ice, and my sister-" Johnnio, the male hamster said with a heavy New York accent.

Kavana, the female hamster who oddly had the same brownish hazel eyes that Banana Ice and Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas had, stared at Johnnio with a snarled upper lip.

"Half-sister, is now Kavana Ice. Am I correct?" Johnnio continued.

"Yes, Johnnio. You are correct," Banana Ice said.

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Part 6: Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets interjects because he is tired of the interruptions.

Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets interjected after being interjected umpteen times in this story, "I am glad we are getting to know each other on this planet! It's great that we have such a strong community among ourselves despite all of the bureaucratic nonsense going on with the powers that be. But are there any other characters or anyone else that absolutely HAS to speak before I can get the rest of my crew OFF the ship?!"

"Captain Slammer! I have land available to put our house down on. Everyone! I am Captain Mechanic!" a smaller but even more muscular man with a red beard who wore an obnoxious white cap, a greasy white shirt, blue oil-stained overalls, and yellowish brown large boots shouted in his naturally loud voice. He looked like an Irish version of Bluto from Popeye.

"Thank you," Captain Slammer shouted as he began to fly away with his house.

A brunette lady with a nurse cap had her head sticking out of the window of the house. "Hello everyone. I am Wonder Nurse, and I come in peace. Praise God. Praise Jesus. Thank you, Lord. Hallelujah! Amen!"

Most of us shouted back to her, "Praise God! Praise Jesus! Thank you, Lord. Hallelujah! Amen!" Godiva, Peter W. Parker's mother, bleated to her.

"Nice to meet you," I shouted to Wonder Nurse. But I wanted her to remain more than 10 feet away from me. I still don't trust the medical system or anyone in it. I hope she doesn't float.

"YES YES YES! I'VE BEEN WAITING TO BE IN THIS STORYLINE FOR A YEAR NOW! I'M TIMON FROM COVINGTON GROVE, GEORGIA, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AS IT IS AMERICAN. I REFUSE TO BE PART OF THIS NEW SYSTEM!" a golden, short grizzly bear with sparkling blue eyes shouted. He even sounded like Nathan Lane from The Lion King, Birdcage, and Mrs. Doubtfire.

The bears growled loudly, clapped, and cheered. Banana Ice's growl was particularly loud.

"PREACH! I WAS BORN A PATRIOT, ALWAYS A PATRIOT! STOP THE FUCKING TYRANNY! THESE GOVERNMENTS ARE PERFORMING TYRANNY!" Banana Ice shouted.

"PREACH!" Bruce Ice shouted. "Fuck the system! Fuck da Police State!"

"Are you for the idea of defunding the police?" a random brown bear asked Bruce Ice.

Bruce Ice shot infrared lasers out of his green eyes and aimed them at the random bear's stomach and lowered the lasered gaze to his crotch. Bruce Ice is not gay. He's just pissed.

The brown bear covered his genitalia instantly with his paws and groaned as he was slipping to the ground. "AWWWWWWW!!! I'll take that as a no...."

"There is a difference between the Po-lice and Police State," Bruce Ice stated as he walked near Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets and stayed six feet away from him.

"PREACH! PR-" Count Vanilla started to shout.

"PREACH! PREACH! PREACH! PREACH! PREACH! PREACH! PREACH! PREACH!" all other bears except Bruce Ice shouted with Count Vanilla.

"I absolutely agree. There is a stark difference between a police officer and the Police State," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planet stated. "Now may I please finish my address so that we can all get back to a normal life?"

Count Vanilla's cousin, Blinky, growled in a distinctly loud voice. He didn't growl often, so his growl was raspy. He was a big white bear who had the exact same eyes as Count Vanilla. He even wore the same style glasses. Usually, he communicated with blinks.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON!" Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets shouted.

"He says there is no going back to normal. He says there is no going back to normal. He says there is no going back to normal. He says there is no going back to normal. He says there is no going back to normal. He says there is no going back to normal. He says there is no going back to normal. He says there is no going back to normal. He says there is no going back to normal," Count Vanilla translated.

"He said all of that in a growl?" Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets asked.

"Yes. His name is Blinky. Yes. His name is Blinky. Yes. His name is Blinky. Yes. His name is Blinky. Yes. His name is Blinky. Yes. His name is Blinky. Yes. His name is Blinky. Yes. His name is Blinky. Yes. His name is Blinky," Count Vanilla said.

Blinky blinked twice to confirm and then approached the stand with Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets and Bruce Ice. He remained six feet from them and started to blink rapidly.

Count Vanilla followed Blinky and began to translate what he was saying in bear language. Due to the lack of space on the red carpet, Count Vanilla had to stand three feet apart from Blinky and Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets. He was definitely growling a lot, and I could tell his voice was getting sore.

Banana Ice blinked three times, threw his paws in the air, sighed, and then flew over to the stand with his new rocket shoes. Banana Ice had to stand three feet apart from Count Vanilla and Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets. He had to translate in English the translation in Count Vanilla's bear language from Blinky's blinks:

"Okay. There is a huge diversity of people here. That's why we literally need three translators to communicate our message. It's going to take a minute for each sentence to get out. Count Vanilla, please. I'm working on it. Blinky, can you pause? Holy Shit, you look like you're possessed. ARE YOU GOOD?!" Banana Ice began.

"Apparently not," Bruce Ice chimed in.

Blinky blinked rapidly at Bruce Ice. Count Vanilla growled several times.

"Yes. Yes. We're getting on with it! If you guys would just slow the fuck down, the rest of the audience would understand you. Jesus!" Banana Ice said before he cleared his throat.

"Blinky, with all due respect, can you wait a second for the rest of us to speak. It's apparent you have a lot to say. It's very important! Let's save that for another story, please. Chrissy with her ungodly amount of glorious titles is fucking exhausted and would love to get her hungry pups the hell off of my ship!" Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets said as politely as possible given the circumstances.

Blinky blinked an apology. Count Vanilla growled apologetically nine times. Banana Ice actually repeated "Sorry" nine times.

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