#the more i see this shit on my dashboard

[billford-dump]

Bill Cipher should try meeting new people but ultimately come back to Ford!

I don't think he'd really look for anything serious, at least post-canon. What's the point? He only has at most a century left to live, and generally living that long as a human requires boring shit like "eating healthy" and "exercising". Most of that time will be spent asleep, or maintaining his new form, and the last decade or two will just be his body rapidly and painfully breaking down. An actual relationship with feelings attached isn't worth the effort. He has better, more entertaining things to spend his limited time on. At most, he'll have people he regularly hangs out/hooks up with for a few days before moving on. If they're really fun he might even stay with them for more than a week, or get back together with them when he gets tired of someone else!

But eventually, he gets bored. Humans just aren't that interesting, the constant pretense of being 'normal' is absolutely grating, and going out with a supernatural being runs too big a risk of being recognized. Nobody is interesting enough, nobody understands when he talks about alien worlds, nobody knows anything beyond this STUPID ball of mud!

Nobody... Except Ford.

Ford knows Bill isn't normal. Ford has seen alien worlds, lived in alien cultures, traveled far beyond what any other human could hope to reach and at least somewhat understood the things he saw there. He's funny. Passionate. Smart. Just fucked up enough to be entertaining. He's known him, watched him, for nearly forty years already, but maybe Ford is interesting enough to keep Bill's attention for a little longer.

(As it turns out, he is.)

#billford #gravity falls #bill cipher #ford pines #human bill cipher #ask #he wouldnt date supernatural beings bc holy shit there are so many people who hate him and would LOVE to hear hes a powerless human now #there were also people that bill just fucked with #his favorite game: messing with humans and making them ruin their own lives #but i dont think that really counts as dating #its more like playing fetch with a live grenade and seeing how long it takes for the dog to make the pin fall out #in other news im at least gonna give tumblr a CHANCE to return my beloved non-twitter dashboard before i leave

[starrierknight]

♡ I luv masturbating n eating chocolate ♡

#me when i overshare on tumblr.com/dashboard #sorry LOL i am breaking my silence by saying this shit #but yes hi hello my sister left today which means I'll be more active again!!! #god my poor askbox i am so sorry for neglecting it #im still here guys i swear #there was just Another Person in my house and i can handle only so much socialising #it was cool seeing my sister again tho ugh she's so so so cool #but yes anyway back to it #[in army official's voice]: as you were! #[ ❀ ] — reece's rambling #shitpost

[concerto-roblox]

i spend a bit of time on twitter for fandom stuff bc there are some really talented artists and writers but oh my god i have to limit my time on that app so much compared to tumblr bc one tiny thing will happen and suddenly there'll be the most despair-inducing discourse ever and i genuinely want to die

#honestly twitter definitely wants people to get angry bc angry people tweet more #this is mostly abt sttwt but ig it applies to other fandoms too #like one person will say one thing and suddenly everyone sees it on their timeline and everyone and their mother is talking about it #when it really isn't that deep #and also some people are just so rude?? like the ship wars are awful and people just make stuff up and say the most horrible shit #and it's so easy to find hate accounts like i'm not opposed to being a hater of things occasionally #but today i found an account called smth like 'why people hate st*ddies' (not censored) #and it was literally just someone screenshotting all the petty drama from one niche subset of the fandom #like i just don't understand how people can have fun on twitter if they use it like intended?? #i have to turn on notifs for people i like and use the notifs as a dashboard bc the timeline will randomly show you the most rancid shit #plus i feel like twitter is actively trying to make it hard to see anything older than a day #i hate the way it's all about new new new and content content content oh my god shut up shut up shut up- #obv tumblr can have awful people too but i feel like it's so much easier to avoid stuff like that if you curate ur own experience #like on tumblr i can just block someone bc i don't wanna see their posts but on twitter blocking someone is a personal attack #and someone will write a thread about how you're a toxic bitch making the fandom worse and you hated them bc they drew b*lly h*rgrove once #and that means you're against discussing harmful topics in media and are pro censorship or smth idk #girl maybe i just don't like him and don't wanna see fanart of him ugh #i feel like maybe i'm really sensitive bc seeing people argue abt things really upsets me?? but idk i thought that was universal #but apparently people love being mad?? #anyways uh. steve/eddie nation 4 eva yass #how to be cringe 101 #i feel like i need a tag for my beef with twitter uuh #twitter hate #there

[caliginouscircuit]

why the fuck does the desktop site look like twitter i'm actually going to lose my god damn mind.

#if i wanted twitter i would go to twitter #the search is on the right and it's WRONG. #why is there so much shit on the left. #i hate this more than words can decsribe #if i don't find a chrome extension to change this back i'm actually genuinely debating deactivating most of my blogs over this #man #this is the worst #this used to be my favorite social media genuinely. #i'm about to start using guilded as if it's a fucking blogging site at this rate #am i overreacting? #maybe idk #probably not #i opened tumblr and almost immediately closed it upon seeing my dash because of this #jesus fucking christ #new dashboard #i hate this #complaining #rant #please complain with me here #i didn't even really get the tumblr experience i wanted i feel like i was too little too late god damnit #my ecosystem #frowns #:(

[kelin-is-writing]

so, anyways, how about you @staff make posts from tags we've filtered invisible?

#kelin talks #i MEEEEEAN we filtered them for a reason no??? so making a 'show more' panel shit is very useless and unnecessary 🤷🏻‍♀️ #nothing would made me happier than content about [redacted] and [redacted] disappearing definitely from my otherwise immaculate dashboard #my eyes wouldn't hurt everytime i see the names of the tags like– please💀 #tumblr

[solipseismic]

is anyone else's dash simply Not showing them older posts

#i have the thing where i have to read all the posts on my dash to catch up w where i was last night ok #and i disable endless scrolling so i can do it page by page which makes it easier right #so what tumblr is doing on this fine morning is showing me a bunch of recent posts from Just Now This Morning but after like 3 pages #i start getting shit from the ides of fucking march #and then it tells me that's IT ?? #no more posts?????? #can i please. see the rest of my dashboard. what if i want to refresh myself on last night's posts. #croidhe

[tenshindon]

You know I think I’ve found the characters you like. You like absolute right dick heads… that change GENUINELY change not Ve6eta “change.” Tien, Endevor Jo

this gotta be the funniest line up like 2/3 of these blokes are dads and i just rewatched the scene where onea those dads gouges a man's eye out

but you right i can't deny these facts in front of me

#snap chats #theres like a tier list of How Bad You Fucked Up and its funny tien's on the bottom of that ladder #i dont remember endeavor's BS perfectly but like i THINK he ranks worse ?? i think. #i think he's more of a piece of shit cause like right jo put a baby in a locker and didnt bother for five years but like #thats bout it- neglected the kid Yes but then spent the next uhhh what. 36 some years doing everything for that kid #i think only NOW endeavor is coming around and yk what we let it slide better late than never #see it's hard for me to talk about endeavor because i Truly have not read or watched a lick of MHA #i just remember when endeavor was coming around cause twitter and my dashboard was blowin up bout it #all in all it IS funny how they all seem to do a sharp 180 tho. *endeavor #still dont know bout him but last time i saw he was gettin round to changin #but yeah LMAO def a fave chara type for sure i guess

[pussy-ache]

shit really sucks lately

#i’ve followed more art and photography blogs to have a less political dashboard #but tbh it’s not even tumblr or insta that’s really fucking me up THAT much #in person not just online #even when i’m not online my mind is absolutely spinning from the incredible amounts of overt misogyny i’m seeing every single day #if i’m being honest with myself i started to slide mentally when gabby petito was murdered #and the left only cared about making it an inclusivity pissing contest #while i kept wondering uh idk where her fucking body was and why no one was able to find her piece of shit boyfriend….? #i’m also affected by the other crazy amounts of shit happening in the world yea #but the misogyny pressure cooker is has been exploding over the past year and i’m just so tired

[nagmaskarangungo]

Oh Don't Mind Me Just Popping Back In Here After Not Being Here For Quite A While Lol

/half joking

Tag Rant Incoming!

#uhhh... hi? i guess? #hope any of you are doing fine since the last time i was here #i kinda just needed to give myself some time away #mostly bc i started developing some kind of dashboard fomo #& also bc i was kinda reflecting abt what i've been doing here #*mostly abt my ethics here (though most of the time it ended up... not being productive in a mental sense)* #& also bc i started to worry abt acting overly familiar to some of the ppl i follow #didn't want to be THAT kind of parasocial #as well as some personal shit i'm not willing to talk abt here (don't worry it's nothing too awful but it's still terrible) #i'm not very good w/ words but this seems adequate for me #Anyways! i'm somewhat fine (though i feel like i still need to deal w/ shit irl sometime) #& i'm slowly getting around to the whole Being On This Website deal again #(though hopefully w/ a more sustainable & healthier way than last time) #(hopefully but we'll see) #that's abt all i wanted to say rn #also to the mutual who checked in on me in my messages. i appreciate you doing that even though we don't really interact much #I know i didn't reply but i really do appreciate it. Thanks! /gen #babble on the tower #i think i might change that tag later (or not idk) #dnrb #just in case ppl out there don't know: dnrb = Do Not ReBlog

[wizlor4]

Oh the little HUD around images in tumblr mobile is pissing me off

#SO much #I used to be able to tap on an image and get a fully clear fully rendered image #now it has this STUPID FUCKING #NON-REMOVABLE #gradient fucking caption with the op and a little … for the options at the top #like STOP #I just want to look at the IMAGE that’s the WHOLE POINT #I CAN SEE WHO POSTED IT BEFORE I TAPPED ON IT #FUCK #of all the things other apps would do THIS was the one I was hoping would stay away from tumblr most #I cannot STAND that stupid fucking gradient transparent caption on top of pictures/videos #absolutely foaming at the mouth rn #all of it is info that is displayed to me on the post #I just #why #and the fact it does the stupid tiktok scroll into more posts??? #jail #hell #I just want to look at the post on my dashboard what is all this shit #we are losing tumblr #can’t even swipe out of videos anymore #have to click the stupid fucking arrow #idk that’s a pet peeve of mine too #I use the bottom right corner to hold my phone #so that arrow is impossible to reach unless I readjust my grip #wasn’t an issue BEFORE #surely I can’t be the only person mad about this #I CANT READ THE TEXT ON THE FUCKING IMAGE IF THE CAPTION IS IN THE GODDAMN WAY FUCK

[uqb]

the reblogging culture on simblr is a joke 💀

#praying to the gods that simblr reblogs more things this year! #i doubt that will happen though! #(so much yapping in the tags incoming) #i see so many sims posts/edits with crazy like-to-reblog ratios such as 700 likes and 40 reblogs #and many of those of those reblogs are self-reblogs/timezone reblogs lol #likes do jack shit......... tumblr's a community driven website............reblog stuff........it's how things move around here........ #anyways those posts gain traction for like 1 week whereas (normally) on other tumblr communities it lasts for like months- #-even years #(<- from my experience - some posts on my skyrim blog from 2022 are still getting interactions whereas on simblr it's like.... ) #( dead silent after a few days or a week depending if the post gets high enough in the tags :/ which is ass bc it relies on whether people #( are browsing the simblr tags bc they cant find posts on their dashboard bc U KNOW WHY?!??! NO ONE reblogs shit!!!!!!!!! RAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! #also some people on simblr get so pissed from seeing reblogs on their dashboard??!?!? #to the point where some people block the tag 'reblog' or 'rb' bc simblr uses these tags #BRUH???????????? #i stopped using those tags out of spite #i used them initially as an organization thing but u cant even filter out multiple tags on ur blog so what's the point. #i only tag my own stuff and that's good enough for me ig #LMFAO sorry it sounds like im whinging and whining but damn it's discouraging for smaller simblrs and i feel for them #idk man #hehe #.ctxt

[pierogisfilledwithpaint]

I feel like my depression got even worse during this winter, it always got worse whenever it got colder, but this year is fucking brutal for me. I can't get enough motivation or strength to do anything anymore. There's my battle jacket that i need to sew my patches on, I also wanted to make some diy jewelry, learn how to crochet and draw a lot either in my sketchbook or digitally, but my brain just wants me to rot in fucking bed all day and I hate it. It's not like I haven't tried to pick up on these things again, it's just that I always give up shortly after I begin, I don't even finish shitty doodles in my sketchbook. There has also been a big change in my life and that has also made my depression worse. Sometimes I wish that I could just disappear somewhere or switch lives with someone so I can stop feeling so miserable already

I can only hope things will get better next year since I'm currently staying over at my aunts family and they promised that they'll help me with getting a job and a therapist. I'm also away from my mother which I also desperately needed, because my relationship with her is really strained and complicated

I feel like crying right now so i'll just listen to sundowning and hope things will finally look up for me in the future

#personal shit #i'm especially frustrated because i see all these amszing artists on my dashboard #and i havent properly drawn anything since fucking september #my brain isnt braining and i want to cry and rot all day #can someone just take my brain out and pressure wash my fucking mental problems away and put it back into my head? #i just want to stop feeling like a walking disappointment #whatever my aunt got a cat and i'm gonna pet that sweet thing while crying to sundowning #and i hope i'll feel better when i wake up #writing all of this shit down also helped me a bit #maybe i need to scream into the void that is tumblr more often

[cescalr]

I LOVE HOW YOU TAG PARAGRAPHS THEYRE FUN TO READ!! /gen

Thank you!!! I love to ramble!!!

#i'm so wordy. i am SO wordy. i never ever fail at a minimum word requirement #but oh god the second my uni says no MORE than 2000 words i freak out. what do you mean no more than 2000 words. does less than 2000 words #and tumblr not yelling at me about tag length even exist? #is it possible to not type out an entire paragraph when i have even a single thought? do people really go around with one word sentences in #side their heads all day? do you see a cool thing and go oh cool thing! and move on #instead of oh cool thing! this reminds me of my very specific brainrot! #which is to say chronic inability to shut the fuck up #so i'm glad. you are entertained lmao #that's all i intend! i'm literally blogging tumblr is a blogging platform. the point is to put my thoughts out there! throw them out! into #the void! the dark abyss (i use the goth rave dashboard theme so this is literal) and hope #just hope i get like a call back. a little nod. and i got one <3 thank you <3 #also (genuinely) i'm assuming /gen means /genuine but like it could also mean /general or some kind of acronym like pos (piece of shit) so. #am i right? im not. up to date. the last time #i paid attention to txt spk and it's ilk was like 2015 #i make assumptions but i am Often Wrong (i still don't know what tfw stands for my brain just goes 'time for when' and it's like 'yeah that #sounds legit' and i'm like 'what the fuck are you talking about? time for when? that doesn't even make sense. #why do you think that sounds legit?' #but i'm asking myself that question so i dont' get an aswer. ah well #you can tell i should be sleeping rn. i get even more verbose and use words like ilk when i'm tired. hence: sleep time now yes. #but again; for real all jokes and minor japes aside: thanks! i'm glad i'm really not just shouting into the void for nobody to hear here.

[theboxfort]

[Image Description: A white text box: "Accounts created after May 8th, 2023 have the 'For You' tab as the default dashboard tab. Other existing users' dashboard tabs are not changed. We are also working on making dashboard tabs even more customizable, including adding the ability to choose which tab appears first." End ID.]

From the latest update (June 2nd, 2023)

Oh, fuck this. If you're a new user, don't forget to set your dashboard to Following and turn "Based on your likes" and "Best stuff first" off

EDIT: A few corrections

For new users, you can't change the default back to Following. This means that whenever you open up your app/go to your dash, the first tab you'll see is the For You tab

Note for the previous point, I can't confirm this since my account is rather old, if anybody has an examples, I'd appreciate it

Yes, some people mentioned that you don't have to turn off Based on your likes and Best stuff first, but that's mostly my preference since (to me at least) it does not work, it just shows me random shit that is absolutely not based on my likes

My main problem with this update is that it strips the user from being able to choose what they wanted to see. It's totally cool if you use the For You tab, but it shouldn't be the default option

Additional points from the tags and reblogs:

You can turn off public likes and followings, again, not mandatory, but it's an option

Make sure to turn off Tumblr Live (pretty sure it's only available to US users, which I am not one) since it apparently drains mobile data

There are (browser) addons and extensions that allows you to block elements or make your tumblr experience better, like uBlock Origin (an adblocker which can be used to block certain elements from showing up) and the XKit Control Panel/New XKit

#pink posts #what the fuck is this update hello??? #one week later edit: yeah a few corrections #also why the fuck did this explode

[defiant-firefly]

Oh yeah and whenever I'm on Tumblr, if someone complains about ads it's usually due to the Pikaman or the Manscaped thing or whatever, right? Sucks to be you guys. All I get are general PSA's like not flushing wipes down the toilet, occasional Red Bull ads, selling an object that I THINK is fishing bait, the FNaF movie and fucking... Service dogs????

I'm not joking it's been mostly service dog related I'm literally having dogs on beaches shoved in my face lmao

#i don't mind ads if its the service dogs not gonna lie... #little brown dog... i wish i knew your name but i hope you know you are loved... #i mean they're basically just generic photos but its SIGNIFICANTLY better than anything i hear other people are getting #i would also accept cats and horses #any animal really #hey tumblr hit me up i would love it if you put more friends in front of me #obviously I'm not clicking on shit #it's just very funny that i see so many complaints when it's literally just dogs for me lmao #if i made a site and i needed to fund it with ads? I'd only accept these ones. #if the only ads i ever saw where just generic animal pics i would have significantly less frustration with them ngl #still frustrating! but you can't be mad at the baby :( #it's not his fault :( #EDITED because i basically said it's trivial when epileptics are in danger on their dashboard #not my intention at all i didn't think that one through

[brainrotdotorg]

imagine a dashboard for alligators. what do you think that would look like

2 notes

🍏gatoridae Follow

Controversial opinion. If you're doing nothing but eating meat, what are you even doing. Remember to include bugs, fruits, and legumes into your diet in order to help aid digestion of the meat that you get from snakes, fish, and mammals.

Just because we have the reputation for eating lots of meat, that doesn't mean we have to stick to it.

🥒biting-you-biting-you Follow

counterpoint: fuit yucky

🪵blog-from-a-bog Follow

wdym reputation of eating meat. i float lik ea log thats what im known for

4,904 notes

🌿swamp-ass Follow

asked dad if i could go and steal some Floridian guy's lunch and he said "we have prey at home" girl we have been doing shit ALL DAY i am an awesome 600 pounds and I need some meat left on me to deathroll with. let me get a quick snack that i don't need to kill mmmmmmm burgers I want people food soooooo badddd....... i know they shouldn't feed it to me but I have such a lovely smile oh please oh please give me your burger.........

182 notes

🥗aliali-seeyoulater Follow

mom says it was cold the season she laid me so i have to be a girl. because girls are always born from eggs laid during cold seasons.

cope and seethe mother first of all, second of all, the reason i am transgender is because you kept me too fucking snuggly warm in the nest.

#i guess if you wanted a daughter you should have. idk. made a shittier nest? #thats not really my fault man

81,337 notes

⛰fuckyeahhugesnout Follow

You'll never guess how I just learned that we have the honor of being the "loudest reptiles in the world"

🫑teethem Follow

Yeah yeah, the 90 decibel mating bellow, we've all heard it.

🤢ch0mper Follow

we've all heard the what

135,633 notes

🩲gaytorrr Follow

this guy asked if i wanted to see his gator hole and i said fuck yes. why this boy take me into a 65 foot long hole in the mud at the bottom of the lake

6,421 notes

🏞daily-clawsitivity

✨Remember to take it easy sometimes!✨We thrive in slow-moving waters!✨Even though we can run fast, we get tired fast too-- it's okay to let yourself take breaks!✨Let yourself relax, that's how we made it this far as a species.

mud-rocks-deactivated20140706

Yeah, imagine telling your prehistoric great great great great great great great great great great grandpa or something to calm down and relax when he should be doing nothing but deathrolls. the longevity of the species should be your only goal. It's irresponsible to encourage your fucking species to fall behind even more than it already has? Have some pride, you're not a crocodile.

scalesssss-deactivated20150310

jesus christ calm down

alidile-crocogator-deactvated20140709

Okay, this post has a lot of misconceptions in it. There aren't as many differences between crocodiles and alligators than you think. It's really harmful to think that we have nothing in common with each other. So what if they're carnivores and we're closer to omnivores, or their snouts are more U shaped while ours are V shaped. We're both badass miracles of nature that have no reason to be pit against one another all the time.

Don't listen to guys like this. It's just hateful and small-minded.

stop-jawlock-androll-deactivated20140911

crocs are like. like them shoes that float right

wetlandia898 Follow

i wish i was a crocodile because i could have a virgin birth and i wanted to see what it would be like to eat an immaculate conception.

bigchallengesrealblog-deactivated20190412

welcome to the no notes gator/croc discourse post.

🦖l8rg8tr-z Follow

omg this is the post.... i can't believe i would see this naturally on my dash

🎍taildraggers Follow

Uh are we just going to ignore the virgin birth reply orrrrrrrrr

🐊gator-heritage-posts

gator heritage post

0 notes

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Follow

hgwiow h

hsfhjs

howw ws i nbevyrboy tyopingssaog oo vd wi hhrth rh thrre cl alawas ?>>

🌴a-l-g-t-r Follow

lmao this idiot never learned how to use their tail to type

#/j lol yeah its kind of hard at first #actually i'd say cut your losses and forget how to type bring the laptop back to the dumpster its not worth it

39 notes

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

am i fucking stupid. i just learned theres another species of alligator other than just me and the guys in my swamp. and i said "oh wow I didn't know that! which one of the two are we haha" and my buddy just stared at me like I was a fucking idiot. how am i supposed to know if no one ever tells me this . WHICH AM I

🍖meet-eat3r Follow

there are only 70-80 mature chinese gators in existence while there are 750,00-1 million mature american gators . do the math.

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

i could have just hatched you don't know me.

20,570 notes

🍀gatortears Follow

a group of queer gators in church call that a congregaytion

#reblogging this one bc none of you appreciate me

1 notes

👞makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

I'm seeing the no notes gator/croc post circulate again and ha ha yes it's very funny, but we are NOT starting gator/croc discourse in 2024. lets leave that shit in the past. i know that's not what the post really ended up being about but i am soooooo sick of it.

🌾clawstothewalls Follow

okay, so the one with a fetish for getting turned into handbags is gonna talk down to us now.

👞 makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

Not to be a pedant but its Shoes Actually. It even says so in the name. Shoes.

2,663 notes

#this post was all an excuse to tell you alligator fun facts #i fucking got you dude. i got you