#the medical admission

[education-time-study-abroad]

#mbbslife #mbbs in russia #mbbsstudent #mbbs admission #mbbsconsultancy #education #the medical admission

[faofinn]

A question.

We're in a situation where there is no more Fao and Finn.

Shiv has left, taking Fao and Ely (epoch's, but too much to talk to both of us), and leaving all our fics frozen still.

As mentioned previously, you can find shiv on ao3, but all of my work has only ever been on here.

Would people be interested in a rewritten situation where the Daniels etc remain (but without Fao obv)? Fao left in prev works but removed from future? Leaving the blog frozen with no changes or additions? Completely new characters on a new blog that has zero to do with the boys?

If anyone has any tips etc, they'd be appreciated.

#ev posts #faofinn breakup #this isn't how i expectedly the blog to go ngl #but i also didn't expect to be split up either tbh #we've got five years of writing every single day behind us #but now I'm not allowed to even message every day #hell even any week #shout out to mental illness for ruining my life again #ironically enough it wasn’t my depression that broke the straw #but i did try and off myself the same day shiv broke up with me lmao #and not a week has gone by without a tragedy #I've had too many deaths in the family #and three prealerts #two resus stays #and another three admissions #and not one of them was for my bloody mental health #it's literally a broken heart #they've actually genuinely considered it and it blows my tiny medical mind.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Aaron Sibarium

Published: May 23, 2024

Up to half of UCLA medical students now fail basic tests of medical competence. Whistleblowers say affirmative action, illegal in California since 1996, is to blame.

Long considered one of the best medical schools in the world, the University of California, Los Angeles's David Geffen School of Medicine receives as many as 14,000 applications a year. Of those, it accepted just 173 students in the 2023 admissions cycle, a record-low acceptance rate of 1.3 percent. The median matriculant took difficult science courses in college, earned a 3.8 GPA, and scored in the 88th percentile on the Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT).

Without those stellar stats, some doctors at the school say, students can struggle to keep pace with the demanding curriculum.

So when it came time for the admissions committee to consider one such student in November 2021—a black applicant with grades and test scores far below the UCLA average—some members of the committee felt that this particular candidate, based on the available evidence, was not the best fit for the top-tier medical school, according to two people present for the committee's meeting.

Their reservations were not well-received.

When an admissions officer voiced concern about the candidate, the two people said, the dean of admissions, Jennifer Lucero, exploded in anger.

"Did you not know African-American women are dying at a higher rate than everybody else?" Lucero asked the admissions officer, these people said. The candidate's scores shouldn't matter, she continued,  because "we need people like this in the medical school."

Even before the Supreme Court's landmark affirmative action ban last year, public schools in California were barred by state law from considering race in admissions. The outburst from Lucero, who discussed race explicitly despite that ban, unsettled some admissions officers, one of whom reached out to other committee members in the wake of the incident. "We are not consistent in the way we apply the metrics to these applicants," the official wrote in an email obtained by the Washington Free Beacon. "This is troubling."

"I wondered," the official added, "if this applicant had been [a] white male, or [an] Asian female for that matter, [whether] we would have had that much discussion."

Since Lucero took over medical school admissions in June 2020, several of her colleagues have asked the same question. In interviews with the Free Beacon and complaints to UCLA officials, including investigators in the university's Discrimination Prevention Office, faculty members with firsthand knowledge of the admissions process say it has prioritized diversity over merit, resulting in progressively less qualified classes that are now struggling to succeed.

Race-based admissions have turned UCLA into a "failed medical school," said one former member of the admissions staff. "We want racial diversity so badly, we're willing to cut corners to get it."

This story is based on written correspondence between UCLA officials, internal data on student performance, and interviews with eight professors at the medical school—six of whom have worked with or under Lucero on medical student and residency admissions.

Together, they provide an unprecedented account of how racial preferences, outlawed in California since 1996, have nonetheless continued, upending academic standards at one of the top medical schools in the country. The school has consequently taken a hit in the rankings and seen a sharp rise in the number of students failing basic standardized tests, raising concerns about their clinical competence.

"I have students on their rotation who don't know anything," a member of the admissions committee told the Free Beacon. "People get in and they struggle."

It is almost unheard of for admissions officials to go public, even anonymously, and provide a window into confidential deliberations, much less to accuse their colleagues of breaking the law or lowering standards. They've agreed to come forward anyway, several officials told the Free Beacon, because the results of Lucero's push for diversity have been so alarming.

"I wouldn't normally talk to a reporter," a UCLA faculty member said. "But there's no way to stop this without embarrassing the medical school."

Within three years of Lucero's hiring in 2020, UCLA dropped from 6th to 18th place in U.S. News & World Report's rankings for medical research. And in some of the cohorts she admitted, more than 50 percent of students failed standardized tests on emergency medicine, family medicine, internal medicine, and pediatrics.

Those tests, known as shelf exams, which are typically taken at the end of each clinical rotation, measure basic medical knowledge and play a pivotal role in residency applications. Though only 5 percent of students fail each test nationally, the rates are much higher at UCLA, having increased tenfold in some subjects since 2020, according to internal data obtained by the Free Beacon.

That uptick coincided with a steep drop in the number of Asian matriculants and tracks the subjective impressions of faculty who say that students have never been more poorly prepared.

One professor said that a student in the operating room could not identify a major artery when asked, then berated the professor for putting her on the spot. Another said that students at the end of their clinical rotations don't know basic lab tests and, in some cases, are unable to present patients.

"I don't know how some of these students are going to be junior doctors," the professor said. "Faculty are seeing a shocking decline in knowledge of medical students."

And for those who've seen the competency crisis up close, double standards in admissions are a big part of the problem. "All the normal criteria for getting into medical school only apply to people of certain races," an admissions officer said. "For other people, those criteria are completely disregarded."

Led by Lucero, who also serves as the vice chair for equity, diversity, and inclusion of UCLA's anesthesiology department, the admissions committee routinely gives black and Latino applicants a pass for subpar metrics, four people who served on it said, while whites and Asians need near perfect scores to even be considered.

The bar for underrepresented minorities is "as low as you could possibly imagine," one committee member told the Free Beacon. "It completely disregards grades and achievements."

Lucero did not respond to a request for comment.

Several officials said that they support holistic admissions and don't believe test scores should be judged in isolation. The problem, as they see it, is that the committee is not just weighing academic merit against community service or considering how much time a given student had to study for the MCAT. For certain applicants, they say, hardship and community service seem to be the only things that matter to the majority of the committee's 20-30 members, many of whom were handpicked by Lucero, according to people familiar with the selection process.

"We were always outnumbered," an admissions officer told the Free Beacon, referring to committee members who expressed concern about low grades. "Other people would get upset when we brought up GPA."

Lucero hasn't been kind to dissenters. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, six people who've worked with her described a pattern of racially charged incidents that has dispirited officials and pushed some of them to resign from the committee.

She has lashed out at officials who question the qualifications of minority candidates, five sources said, suggesting naysayers are "privileged," implying that they are racist, and subjecting them to diversity training sessions.

After a Native American applicant was rejected in 2021, for example, Lucero chewed out the committee and made members sit through a two-hour lecture on Native history delivered by her own sister, according to three people familiar with the incident. No applications were reviewed that day, an official present for the lecture said.

In the anesthesiology department, where Lucero helps rank applicants to the department's residency program, she has rebuffed calls to blind the race of candidates, telling colleagues in a January 2023 email that, despite California's ban on racial preferences, "we are not required to blind any information."

That alone could get UCLA in legal trouble, according to Adam Mortara, the lead trial lawyer for the plaintiffs in Students for Fair Admissions v. Harvard, the Supreme Court case that outlawed affirmative action nationwide.

Asking for information about an applicant's race when "no lawful use can be made of it" is "presumptively illegal," Mortara said. "You can't have evidence of overt discrimination like this and not have someone come forward" as a plaintiff.

Lucero has even advocated moving candidates up or down the residency rank list based on race. At a meeting in February 2022, according to two people present, Lucero demanded that a highly qualified white male be knocked down several spots because, as she put it, "we have too many of his kind" already. She also told doctors who voiced concern that they had no right to an opinion because they were "not BIPOC," sources said, and insisted that a Hispanic applicant who had performed poorly on her anesthesiology rotation in medical school should be bumped up. Neither candidate was ultimately moved.

Lucero's comments from the meeting were flagged in an email to UCLA's Discrimination Prevention Office, which has received several complaints about her since 2023, emails show. The office has declined to act on those complaints on the grounds that they aren't "serious enough" to merit an investigation, according to a source with direct knowledge of the situation. The Discrimination Prevention Office did not respond to a request for comment.

The focus on racial diversity has coincided with a dramatic shift in the racial and ethnic composition of the medical school, where the number of Asian matriculants fell by almost a third between 2019 and 2022, according to publicly available data. No other elite medical school in California saw a similar decline.

As the demographics of UCLA have changed, the number of students failing their shelf exams has soared, trends professors at the medical school say are connected.

Between 2020, the year Lucero assumed her post, and 2023, when the first classes she admitted were taking their shelf exams, the failure rate rose dramatically across all subjects, in some cases increasing tenfold relative to the 2020 baseline, per internal data obtained by the Free Beacon.

"UCLA still produces some very good graduates," one professor said. "But a third to a half of the medical school is incredibly unqualified."

The collapse in qualifications has been compounded by UCLA's decision, in 2020, to condense its preclinical curriculum from two years to one in order to add more time for research and community service. That means students arrive at their clinical rotations with just a year of courses under their belt—some of which focus less on science than social justice.

First-year students spend three to four hours every other week in "Structural Racism and Health Equity," a required class that covers topics like "fatphobia," has featured anti-Semitic speakers, and is now the subject of an internal review. They spend an additional seven hours a week in "Foundations of Practice," which includes units on "interpersonal communication skills" and, according to one medical student, basically "tells us how to be a good person." The two courses eat up time that could be spent on physiology or anatomy, professors say, and leave struggling students with fewer hours to learn the basics.

"This has been a colossal failure," one professor posted in April on a forum for medical school applicants. "The new curriculum is not working and the students are grossly unprepared for clinical rotations."

Nearly a fourth of UCLA medical students in the class of 2025 have failed three or more shelf exams, data from the school show, forcing some students to repeat classes and persuading others to postpone a different test, the Step 2 licensing exam, that is typically taken in the third year of medical school and is a prerequisite for most residency programs.

Around 20 percent of UCLA students have not taken Step 2 by January of their fourth year, according to the data. Ten percent have not even taken the more basic Step 1—an "extremely high number," one professor said, that will force many students to extend medical school.

"It's a combination of a bad curriculum and bad selection," another professor said, referring to the admissions process. Some students are accepted with GPAs so low "they shouldn't even be applying."

UCLA did not respond to a request for comment.

As medical schools around the country adjust to the Supreme Court's affirmative action ban, the experience of UCLA offers a preview of how administrators may skirt the law and devise public-spirited excuses for violating it.

Lucero has told the admissions committee that each class should "represent" the "diversity" of California, including its remote and rural areas, so that graduating students will return to their hometowns and beef up the medical infrastructure there, officials say.

Race is rarely mentioned outright, and unlike the committee for anesthesiology residents, the committee for students does not see the race or ethnicity of applicants.

Instead, officials say, Lucero uses proxies like zip codes and euphemisms like "disadvantaged" to shut down criticism of unqualified candidates, citing a finding from the Association of American Medical Colleges that, technically, most students with below-average MCATs make it to their second year of medical school. How well they do after that point goes undiscussed and undisclosed.

"We have asked for metrics on how these folks actually do," one committee member said. "None of that is ever divulged to us."

==

Hope your next doctor isn't from UCLA.

Wokeness has a body count.

#Aaron Sibarium #UCLA #Jennifer Lucero #medical school #medical corruption #ideological corruption #ideological capture #higher education #corruption of education #academic corruption #academic scandal #dangerously unqualified #affirmative action #race based admission #racial discrimination #woke schools #woke #wokeness #cult of woke #wokeism #wokeness as religion #DEI doctors #diversity #equity #inclusion #diversity equity and inclusion #religion is a mental illness

[autism69]

if someone was to look they could probably find a small collection of posts about wanting to get married starting to compile on my blog. @ self mate you don't go out and neither do you talk to people + L + how do you think one gets in a relationship even. what do you do successfully. quickly

#every russian mail-in wifesband jokey post is an admission. I think I should be medicated #viktalks

[sentimentalslut]

*grabbing fanfic authors by the shoulders and shaking them around* listen. listen. pre-law is not a major. do you hear me? can you hear me? listen !!!

#'im studying pre law' there are no pre reqs for american law school #'pre med' refers to the courses required for admission to medical school that typically results in a biology degreee #you can get a degreee in fuck all and go to law school #mumbles #this is such a stupid pet peeve lmao

[prionz]

doing mcat diagnostic wish me luck

#mcat is medical school admission test #and diagnostics are shorter tests to see how u would do

[myriad--starlings]

god my body is SO tuned to calendar rhythms. guess what somatic memories just started floating back up? that's right! the ones from my time getting IV fluids!! my months and months and months of getting stabbed with needles which my nurses were very very very good at but still, unfortunately, SUCKED SO BAD.

#local birb opens beak #i have such a BEASTLY somatic memory #hello needle memories #medical trauma #tw needles #needles #idk how i got through that November admission tbh #maybe bc it hadnt been that long #and the blood draw not that long ago #god i just

[kaurwreck]

I cannot relate when people talk about being unable to distinguish comorbid symptoms, at least not to the same degree. I have mine fairly parsed, including where they overlap and exacerbate each other, in part because of how aggressively I've pursued treatment while also staggering it in such a way that allowed me and my psychs to identify the separate disorders.

#this isnt anti self diagnosis either #i correctly self diagnosed before getting actually diagnosed #idk i approached my mental health treatment like a virgo enneagram one for lack of a more succinct way of saying #“aggressively and with a hyperfocus on self improvement” #sometimes i assume what im doing is average and then my mental health team reminds me that no i am Atypical #i will never forget telling my therapist i should stop saying im built different #and her replying with “normally i would agree but... well....” #also im CONSTANTLY learning new things about myself and my conditions #this isnt to imply i have everything figured out #if im ever not learning anything new about myself then im stagnating #nor is it like implying there's a right or wrong way to go about this sort of thing #it's just an observation and an admission that i often cant relate to a lot of posts and convos even about my specific diagnoses #the amount of times people with my same illnesses have attempted to neurotypical karen me or who have implied i dont really have them #is Many #like more than youd think and in both irl and online spaces #generally over innocuous things but all because they dont think im expressing my illnesses right #and the fact of the matter is ive had medical professionals tell me that while my symptoms are textbook - how i express them isnt always #it's a neutral observation but one that sometimes leaves me like a little out of my depth in more general convos about mental illnesses

[mbbsmdcom]

Advantage of Studying MBBS in Russia

Studying medicine is a significant decision, and choosing the right place to pursue your MBBS is crucial. Russia has emerged as a popular destination for medical education, offering numerous advantages to students seeking a quality medical degree. In this guide, we'll explore the benefits of studying MBBS in Russia in simple terms, along with its potential impact on your future career.

1. Affordable Education: Studying MBBS in Russia is budget-friendly. Compared to other countries, the tuition fees and living costs are reasonable. This means you can pursue your dream of becoming a doctor without worrying too much about financial burdens.

2. High-Quality Education: Russian medical universities are known for their excellent education standards. They follow international guidelines, ensuring that the education you receive is top-notch. With a degree from Russia, you'll be well-prepared for a successful career in medicine.

3. Diverse Environment: Studying MBBS in Russia exposes you to a diverse environment. You'll meet students from various backgrounds and cultures. This multicultural setting enriches your experience and helps you develop a global perspective, essential for a career in medicine..

4. Language Options: While Russian is the primary language, many universities offer MBBS programs in English. This is beneficial for international students who may not be fluent in Russian. Learning Russian alongside your studies can also be advantageous for your future medical practice.

5. Strong Academic Tradition: Russia has a rich history of excellence in medical education and research. Many medical breakthroughs have originated from Russian institutions. By studying in Russia, you become part of this legacy, gaining access to valuable academic resources and opportunities.

6. Straightforward Admission Process: Applying to study MBBS in Russia is simple. The admission process typically involves submitting academic documents and other required paperwork. Unlike some other countries, you may not need to sit for entrance exams, making the process smoother.

Studying MBBS in Russia offers numerous benefits, including affordability, quality education, global recognition, and exposure to a diverse environment. With modern facilities, a strong academic tradition, Russia provides an excellent platform for aspiring medical professionals to fulfill their dreams.

#Study medicine in Russia #Advantages of MBBS in Russia #Russian medical universities #MBBS in Russia #Admission process for MBBS in Russia #Top ranking Govt. Universities in Russia

[moonbeam-fox]

An anti vaxxer flipped out on my crew today bc (as per clinic policy) we wouldn't let him film our staff giving his infant immunizations. He wanted the lot numbers (which he would've gotten as part of his after visit summary) and to film every single person who had anything to do with preparing or administering the shots. As if this is our first rodeo and we haven't seen anti vaxxers try to gather "evidence" about the danger of vaccines before.

#give me a fuckin break #we live in a two party state so of course the recordings would not be admissible without our permission #which we wouldnt give #but people love to post this shit online #and the last thing i need is for my overworked staff or myself to get doxxed for providing sliding scale medical care

[education-time-study-abroad]

US-Bangla Medical College & Hospital

US Bangla Medical College & Hospital in Bangladesh is a private medical college (USBMC). The university is based in Dhaka, Bangladesh, was founded in 2013 to train skilled and devoted medical professionals who can serve society at a low cost. The famous and experienced specialists at US-Bangla Medical College provide high-standard quality MBBS education to prepare medical aspirants for a better future by ensuring that students have all of the credentials necessary to attain their career goals.

After MBBS in Bangladesh from this college graduates are employed in a variety of private and government hospitals and dentistry clinics around the world. The ranking of this college is 57 in Bangladesh and it stands at 1700 worldwide. The medical fees in Bangladesh of US Bangla Medical College are 37500$ only. The duration of MBBS in Bangladesh is of 5 years with English as teaching medium. The students will not only gain theoretical knowledge but also the practical aspect of MBBS. At the end of the MBBS course, the students need to follow the 1 year of compulsory internship rule. An internship can be done either in US-Bangla Medical College & Hospital or the home country.

The medical admission in Bangladesh requires some original documents on priority basis for MBBS degree. The candidates must have certificate of SSC & HSC examination or its equivalent, correct filled application for, testimonial of passing HSC exam, mark sheets of SSC and HSC exams, certificate from the head of the institution in which the applicant studied last regarding her/his character, career, and extracurricular activities, character certificate and nationality certificate.

Also 3 copies of recent passport size and 1 stamp size photos required for the MBBS admission at this college with a acknowledgment slip, medical fitness certificate, a recent COVID-19 test reports, migration certificate, passing certificate, valid passport, college offer letter, bank receipt, NEET score card and a caste certificate required. For more information, I will suggest visiting Education Times study abroad to quench all your queries.

MBBS in Bangladesh at this college demands some eligibility criteria to get admission in US Bangla Medical College. The willing candidates should complete 17 years old or before 31st December of the admission year to get eligible for MBBS admission. The candidates of the national merit list published by the director-general of health services, Dhaka are eligible to get admission. The students who have passed the 11th and 12th standard with good scores are eligible to take admission in the MBBS program. The students must clear the NEET examination with an eligible score to take admission in the MBBS course at US-Bangla Medical College for doing MBBS in Bangladesh at this college..

The institute features a high-quality educational system that is built on the most up-to-date ideas to give students a superior education. The English language is used as the instructional medium for better understanding. The university has a modest fee structure, making MBBS very affordable for medical students from all around the world. It features a highly qualified and experienced teaching team. During their medical study, all students have access to a well-developed infrastructure at the college. For more details, I will recommend visiting Education Times study abroad to quench all your queries.

MBBS in Bangladesh at US Bangla medical college also offers extracurricular activities such as athletics, cultural events, and annual functions are very popular among the students. Guest lectures are held at the US-Bangla Medical College, and various medical professionals are invited to share their experiences with the students for better exposure.

If you are eager to know more about this college then go for Education Times it is one of the best platforms for those who want to study abroad. They guide and support the students to study MBBS and shape their future students. I will suggest searching for more colleges on this platform will give you the best fit for institutions and programs for your unique background and qualification. They also assist with your visa application to your pre-departure briefing, and everything in-between till your destination. Education Times will help you select top careers and colleges for you to achieve goals & successfully place them in your wish-listed medical universities across the world or your desire of MBBS in Bangladesh.

#mbbsconsultancy #mbbs in bangladesh #education #education time #mbbs admission #the medical admission

[medicalstudybd]

#Study MBBS in Bangladesh #MBBS Admission in Bangladesh #Medical Education in Bangladesh #Benefits of Studying MBBS in Bangladesh #MBBS in Bangladesh for Indian Students #Study MBBS in Bangladesh to Save Money #Save Time and Money by Studying MBBS in Bangladesh #Save Time and Money Studying MBBS in Bangladesh #Study MBBS in Bangladesh for International Students

[oliveasaltylife]

I am so glad to be home from the hospital

My cats are very happy to have me home as well

And my husband—even more so

I am not so glad about the added trauma that came home with me. I knew it was inevitable, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

9 days in the hospital—which translates to 9 days of constant respirator usage, holding my breath for temperature checks, small sips of water, mouthwash, and hoping that I wasn’t exposed to anything when I was vomiting or dry heaving.

4 days on PPN

3 infiltrated IVs (1 of which may have caused permanent damage to a vein from PPN)

And the beginnings of a Chiari/Tethered Cord flare to top it all off.

I’m not even able to go into more detail at the moment because I was heavily dissociated the entire time and haven’t met the new parts yet.

#cw vomit mention #cw emetophobia #cw trauma mention #cw trauma discussion #cw medical trauma #I know I have more to say but I’m not able to access that right now #dissociation adds a whole different level too #I was trying to explain what it felt like to my husband last night because I was not the one fronting while we were in the hospital #my last memory was being discharged from the first ER visit #I don’t even remember going back to the ER that night even though I know I did and ultimately ended with admission #the best analogy I have to explain it is the feeling of getting knocked out and thrown in the trunk of a moving car #It’s jarring to lose a full 9 days #dissociative identity disorder #osddid #medical #disabled #olive blogs #signed: Annie

[nerdgirlnarrates]

God I am so angry about the way my patient with sickle cell disease is being treated, it’s unreal

#they didn’t get the pain regimen they needed for the first several days of their admission #and then when they didn’t get better with no meds everyone decided they’re drug seeking #more on the shit people have been saying later #but yeah just piss poor understanding of chronic pain and sickle cell pain #I understand I am only a med student #but I have yet to hear one good clinical reason they think she’s not actually in pain #and I think it is time to put up or shut up #are we gonna practice evidence based medicine or not #my content #my text posts #med school #medicine #med student #medblr #medical school

[iamthescalesofjustice]

i get why people have shifted away from the term 'peggy sue' but honestly its less cumbersome than 'time travel fix-it' or, as i occasionally see spread across multiple tags " 'time travel' 'not a fix-it tho' 'not a break it worse either' " like cmon it wasnt even actually related to the 'x sue' stuff that people (rightfully) dropped it was a covergent evolution.

#anyway tangentially related but if i got sent back to my high school self it would not even ping on anyones radar possibly including my own #bc that was the blender era. i was experiencing levels and types of psychosis that have just never peaked like that before or since #despite the fact that there were and have been worse eras of my life. every one a different torment nexus domt get me wrong #but if my teenage self suddenly said to their friends 'hey i think i just travelled back in time or something bc i have no memory of any of #your names or faces and no idea what classes i have or where they are and also here are the various horrible tidings from the future' #that would be a normal tuesday. that wasnt me being chuuni or whatever i genuinely just experienced life that way #i would introduce death grips and hozier and the mechanisms to my tyrannous dj lineup thats all that would immediately change #my cousin wouldnt go into the medical field bc she wouldnt have gotten into her college bc i wouldnt be able to recreate the admission essa #i was coerced into writing for her. my other cousin would have gotten a heads up about the facility. my dad would not gets a heads up. #i would have posted to tumblr complaining about how long it would take for atn to come out now #anyway. scenario vented

[buysomecheese]

Constantly I am struggling with the fact that it would be So. Easy. to be an English major but Knowing that nothing I want to get done with my life would be easy after that. Curse me and my affinity for reading and my need for escapism, dammit.

#I HAVE TIME AND I COULD GO IN AS UNDECIDED BUT FUCK I HATE NOT HAVING A SOLID PLAN. #GOT A 5 ON MY AP LIT EXAM I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT UNTIL THE DAY BEFORE!!!! IT WOULD BE SO EASY!!!!! #BUT I WANT TO DO MEDICINE! SO BADLY! THAT IS ALL OF MY LIFE'S GOALS! #AND I WRITE THESE FUCKING ESSAYS AND I KNOW THAT NO COLLEGE ADMISSIONS OFFICER WHO READS THESE WILL BELIEVE I WANT TO WORK IN STEM/MEDICINE #BUT I DO!!! I DO!!! I JUST WANT TO WRITE ALL FLOWERY AND FORMALLY AND CREATIVELY ABOUT IT!! #gonna fucking. kill. I'm killing rn holy fuck. #and then I worry that the mismatch will make it so that I just don't? get into college at all? which is fucking dumb. but a-fucking-las? ig #higher education institutes are dumb this is a dumb way to do this holy fuck. #I hate having choices I hate having no perceived plan I hate a lack of structure but I am so excited to go to college and be a doctor #(eventually) #and I wanna bother my eng teacher but it's summer + her husband's in chemo + they're redoing their whole kitchen. like girl she's busy. #BUT I'M INSECURE!!!! #I mean I may go integrated studies. or social science/humanities type major + pre-med minor #some schools offer like a medical humanities BA and that's beautiful that's everything I want in life EXCEPT I HATE THE LOCATION. #I am picky and I'm upset about it ugh