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synoname-wordsmith · 6 months

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Sleepless Nights and Broken Jars

Sanji x reader

Summary: cooking for a crew of your size was a handful, and you were determined to take some of that stress out of Sanji's hands. But what happens when sleep deprivation and close proximity to the man you love start to mix?

Warning: some angst, slight description of panic attack, mention of blood, no smutt just kissing, smoking, as always if I miss any lmk

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your hammock swayed back and forth, begging you to lull back to sleep. you checked your watch and sighed at 4 AM. you had been staring at the ceiling for 45 minutes now, and it was becoming clear that you were not going to get any more sleep tonight.

you moved into a sitting position and then threw your feet over the edge of the hammock. once up, you tossed on a sweater and tip toed out of your shared room in an effort to not wake those lucky enough to get a full night's rest.

you made your way to the kitchen of the Going Merry, figuring a cup of tea might sweeten your soured mood. you were surprised to see the light already pooling through the small kitchen window. assuming it was Sanji was a safe bet, but being up this early was early, even for a cook.

you gently knocked on the door and let yourself in. Sanji was indeed there, facing away from the door over a pot of something on the stove. he turned to face you as you entered and smiled at the sight of you.

"Hey love, what's got you up at this hour?"

"i could ask you the same thing," you respond while making your way over the herb closet. Sanji watched you as you pulled out your desired ingredients and a tea steeper. "Be a dear and put the kettle on for me?" you asked with a light smile.

"Of course," and with that, you sat down with a mug and waited for the water to boil. "You never answered my question," Sanji spoke after a moment. you shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep, you?"

"i'm always up this early, dear. Food doesn't prep itself." You looked up at him quickly.

"You get up at 4 AM to prep every day?!" You couldn't hide the surprise in your voice. "breakfast isnt til 9. That's 5 hours. It takes that much time to prep breakfast?"

he smiled at your exasperation, "Actually, im usually in here by 3ish, and no, i prep for all meals and snacks this early."

"damn, that is dedication if i've seen it," you chuckled, then got up to grab the now steaming kettle.

"No, stay. i got it. " Sanji moved to the kettle and back to you, pouring the water into your mug. you thanked him with a smile. "it really doesn't bother me. I like doing it. Plus, this way, there is less to do between meals."

"Are all chefs this crazy?" you joked, reaching out for the mug as Sanji slid it towards you. your hand briefly met his, and your breath hitched. he pulled his hand away quickly after.

you don't know exactly when your feeling for Sanji crossed into genuine feelings from friends who flirted a little too much, but they did, and it was getting harder to pretend everything was still casual. the pet names, the little touches, the way his blue eyes seemed to see you, the real you; they caused you to lose your breath and the butterflies to come alive. you tried pulling away, hoping the distance would calm your ever beating heart, but you found yourself pulled back in almost instinctively. like two magnets. It was hard to fight.

he cleared his throat. "Only the really good ones," you laughed.

"and we all know you are the best." his face lit up at that. You found yourself staring as his smile reached his eyes. you pulled your gaze away and stood up a little too quickly. you walked over the aprons hanging on the wall, pulled one on, then tied your hair off your face.

"Hun, what are you doing?" You glanced at him as you washed and dried your hands. then pulled out an extra cutting board and a few knives.

"what does it look like, im helping" you pulled the bag of carrots over to you and read the scratchy handwriting from his notebook; '2 cup finely cut carrots, 2lb carrot peeled and cut olique'. "Unless you think the cafe my family ran is inferior training and that i can't keep up with you and your pretentious recipes." you said lightly, half joking and half asking for permission. he let out a breathy laugh.

"Of course i dont think that love, but you really should get some more sleep"

you picked up a chefs knife, "sleep eluded me long before i wandered in her Sanji. At least this way, i could pass the time." he playfully sighed again and turned back to the stove. there was no sound for a few moments save for the tack tack tack of your knife on the wooded board.

"Wait, did you call me pretentious? " he broke the silence, and you let out a genuine laugh.

"No, i called your recipes pretentious," he playfully swatted at your arm as you fell back into a comfortable silence.

****

you and Sanji finished most of the prep by 8:00, and you left him to assemble breakfast on his own. you had worked in comfortable silence for the most part other than the few questions from you or critiques from him. you would never admit that your skills were a little rusty, especially compared to Sanji, who moved through the kitchen like it was a choreographed dance. his motions were fluid and almost artful as he bounced from pot to cutting board to fridge to table. it was hard not to stare, and you felt your cheeks heat up a few times as your eyes wandered from his hands to the muscles in his exposed forearms. you felt like a child with a crush.

after cleaning your workspace, you wandered back to your room with the goal of changing and starting your research on the nearing islands for Nami. however, against your better judgment, you had fallen asleep. That's how you found yourself in the map room long after everyone else had retired to bed.

with a stiff back and a neck begging you to change positions you stood up. deeming your work satisfactory for the day you made your way out of the room and to the deck. the cool summer air hit you as you inhaled the smell of the ocean. slipping your eyes closed, you leaned forward on the railing, enjoying the moment. you heard foot falls approaching but didn't open your eyes until the smell of tobacco tickled your nose.

you expected Sanji to be beside you, but you weren't prepared for him to be leaning against the railing looking at you. his blue eyes scanned you and moved to meet your own eyes. the look in them was something you couldn't describe, something you've never seen from him.

"What?" you asked almost sheepish. it felt like he was seeing through you again. like you had no place to hide.

"Just admiring the beauty before me, love." You scoffed and rolled your eyes

"Doesn't your teeth hurt from all that sweet-talking?" You both laughed and fell into silence again. "What are you up to right now?" you asked, turning back to the waves.

"Quick break before heading back to work." he turned to face the water as well. you turned to look at him

"Sanji, it's 11:30" he hummed in response. "When do you sleep?"

he exhaled a light laugh. "Don't worry about me, love i sleep plenty."

"When?" You shot back a little harsher than you meant to. He took a long inhale. it felt like he was taking his time on purpose, holding smoke in his lungs so he doesn't have to answer. "Up at 2, still working at midnight, making snacks all day. Sanji, that isn't sustainable. you're going to make yourself sick."

"Will you nurse me back to health?" he smirked.

"Sanji, i'm not kidding!" he stilled at that. his face falling blank. you took a breath and tried to control your tone "Sanji if you need help, you're allowed to ask." his hand hovered by his face, cigarette almost at his lips. he didn't say anything, maybe he didn't know what to. "You can still be the creative genius, but an extra set of hands to make the prep go faster, isn't you failing." he ashed his cigarette as his eyes watched you intently. "especially when Luffy's appetite is that of 10 men." he chuckled

"i'm sure you're right, love, you usually are"

"how 'bout this, i will be your junior chef for one week, if it works: great, if not: i will leave you to your insanity and even take care of you when you inevitable make yourself ill" he took one last drag and flicked his cigarette into the ocean.

"darling, if you wanted to spend more time with me, you could have just asked." You ignored the quickening of your heart and hoped it was too dark for him to see the blush on your face.

"That doesn't sound like a no," you breathed. you hadn't noticed, but during your lecture, you had drifted closer to each other. both leaning against the railing facing each other, your hands could almost touch. he was looking at you again. seeing through you. your heart quickened. you could smell the tobacco on his breath and see the shades of blue in his eye. he held your gaze as if trying to communicate something to you, something he was afraid to say out loud.

"it wasn't," he whispered. he reached his fingers out and brushed them against your own. you felt like you couldn't breathe. the silence was suffocating and electric as his eyes darted to your lips and back to your eyes. you looked away from him and cleared your throat.

"we should probably get to the kitchen then." You glanced back at him, but he wasn't facing you anymore. he had turned away and faced the ocean again. "or neither of us will be sleeping tonight," he pulled out another cigarette.

"Go ahead hun', i'll catch up. " You watched him flick his lighter. you turned towards the kitchen and hurried through the door.

'So stupid,' you thought as you grabbed an apron and washed your hands.' You couldn't just let him kiss you. You had to pull away and make everything awkward.' You felt like you were going to pass out. face flush and hands shook as you held your knife. you tried to even breathe as your mind ran a mile a minute. it's not as if you haven't thought about kissing Sanji before, you had; allot. and you wondered what he would be like as a significant other, but you were scared. You knew you were. you were terrified that you were just the flavor of the month. that Sanji was more interested in the chase, and as soon as he got you, he would grow bored.

you didn't think you had low self-esteem, but a guy like that could have anyone he wanted, and you had seen him get them. Man or women, once he set his sights on someone. Docking in little towns and picking up beautiful people in bars, boarding the ship in the early hours of the morning with hair a mess and shirt unbuttoned. you couldn't convince yourself that he wasn't just interested in you because of close proximity. and you couldn't open your heart to that. You couldn't handle when he inveterately left for something better, newer, more interesting. you tossed cut vegetables into a bowl with oil and seasoning.

the kitchen door opened, and Sanji walked to the sink and started washing his hands. you tried to get your racing heart and running thoughts under control as he stood beside you silently.

"What are you doing?" You turned and smiled at him, an attempt to seem unrattled.

"i was going to roast the vegetables for the soup puree." he nodded and disappeared into the walk-in cooler. you released a breath you didn't know you were holding and turned back to the notebook, then moved to opened a cabinet. not finding what you were looking for, you moved to close the door and turn towards the pantry closet. unbeknownst to you, Sanji had come behind you juggling more than a few ingredients. you didn't have time to react before you collided and felt yourself connect with the ground.

pain shot through your head as jars and produce tumbled to the ground. your hands flew up to the side of your head as you heard Sanji crouch down beside you. he swore under his breath as your eyes stayed tightly shut, focusing on breathing through the sharp pain.

"Hun, i'm so sorry. Let me see." he took your hands in both of his and gently moved them out of the way. "Just a scratch," he breathed out, the relief prominent in his voice. the initial pain was starting to subside, but you kept your eyes closed in an attempt to keep hot tears at bay.

"i'm sorry," you whispered, pulling your hands from his and covering your eyes this time. everything felt like too much all at once, sleep deprivation, the charged moment outside, the racing thoughts you had moments ago, the pain now. it all came to a catalyst, and what little control you had on your emotions was unraveling.

"Darling, what for?" You leaned back and felt the cupboard support your weight, tears finally escaping." Hey, hey, hey, look at me. What's going on? " he reached for your hands again, but you turned away from him.

"i can't keep doing this." You were trying to level your breathing, but you felt more and more of your emotions spilling out. months of bottling it up finally caught up to you.

"Doing what, dear? i know i should have said behind and im so sorry you are in pain right now, but thats no reason to give up in the kitchen completely" he reached out again and this time you let him rest his hands on your shoulders, what did it matter you were already a mess.

"No! i can't keep pretending around you. the things you say, the way you brush up against me when you pass by. the flirting, god the flirting" you were all but hyperventilating now. "it's killing me, and i feel so stupid for catching feelings like i didn't know who you were, that this wasn't a game you played to pass the time-" you couldn't get anymore words out and you just sat there defeated and sobbing.

you felt Sanji's arms wrap around you, and he pulled you against his chest. he didn't say anything, but he held you while you shook in his arms and attempted to regain control of yourself. eventually, your breathing leveled out, and you lay still against him, face pressed to his chest as he moved his hand up and down your back.

you didn't want to move. If you pulled away, you would have to face him, and facing him meant everything you had created together over the last few months was gone. you did, though. You moved away from his embrace and wiped your eyes. you could feel him looking at you, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his eyes.

"im going to go." You stood up, but before you could turn away, he grabbed your wrist. "Sanji, please, I dont want to talk about this right now." You tried to pull away, but his grip tightened. "Sanji-"

"you're bleeding" you stood and watched as he stood up too "let me at least clean up your face" you didn't have the energy to argue and let him guide you to the table. you sat in silence as he kneeled on the floor in front of you and dabbed an alcohol swab on your cut. you winced on contact, and his free hand came up to the side of your face to gently hold you still. "im sorry." You broke the silence, the suffocating silence that made you want to scream.

"You've said that." He didn't take his eyes off his task. in a different circumstance, you would have watched his concentration in admiration and tried to memorize the curve of his jaw or the way his hand felt on your cheek. but now you couldn't bear to look at him.

"i never meant to melt down like that, i just didn't know how to tell you without ruining the friendship we built" he put the bandage on you and sighed, leaning back on his legs. neither of you made any move to get up, and silence fell over you again. you were too dejected to fill it this time. You resolved to just drown in it.

"Do you really think so little of me?" You looked up from the cuticles you were picking at to find Sanji also looking at his hands. His hair had fallen in his face as he talked. "That im some careless philanderer with no regard for your feelings?"

"No, of course not," you defended, "but the way you flirt in bars, i just... i dont see how im special, " his head snapped up.

"Of course you are special. You are the most interesting and beautiful person i have ever met. nothing i have ever said to you was a lie. i meant it all"

"But all those one-night stands? if i'm so special, why are you chasing strangers?" You felt yourself choking up again and knew if he kept pressing the matter, you would fall apart again.

"Honestly?" he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Feeble attempts to forget about you. i thought i could move on, that i could get past the way i felt. " he looked up at you finally. your lip started to tremble at his words and you tried to take a deep breath "hey, hey" he leaned forward and placed both his hands on either side of your face "none of that love"

"i can't - how am i supposed to trust that you won't get bored?"

"Nothing i did could make me change the way i feel about you, the way i need you. i thought i knew what love was, but from the moment i first met you, i knew that was it. it is so scary to be so affected by you" maybe it was the lack of sleep or the throbbing in your head, but your body moved before you could think and you connected your lips to his.

for a moment, he didn't move, startled by your action. but in an instant, he was kissing you back. he pulled you closer against him, and your hands grasped at the fabric of his shirt. you pulled away for air, but just as quickly, he pulled you back in. hands moving to your waist, he pulled you impossibly closer as your hands found their way to his hair. he deepened the kiss, and you felt like you were on fire. nothing you had imagined was as good as this and none of the little touches you had shared before compared to the electricity flowing through you now.

when you both finally stopped, he leaned his forehead against yours, and you could feel his smile.

"i am sorry i ever made you doubt how i feel about you. Please let me spend a lifetime making it up to you." You kissed him again and pulled away breathless.

"There is nothing i want more"

#opla #one piece #sanji imagine #sanji x reader #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #opla sanji #one piece live action #one piece sanji #sanji vinsmoke imagine

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the-cult-of-russo · 1 year

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Just Beneath The Flames (Part 9)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut at some point probably lmao, zombie shit, typical canon violence. You know the drill.

A/N: Thanks for all the love with this story!

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“There you go,” Leo smiled, tying the object around your wrist. Your lips twitched up as you looked at it, a warmth blooming through your chest that seemed to spread out to every inch of you. She’d made you a friendship bracelet out of twine and it was such a sweet gesture, it made your heart ache.

“Thanks, Leo,” you murmured sincerely, making the girl’s smile widen as she nodded.

“It’s okay. I should head back and check on mom, I’ll come by and see you later if I can,” she grinned before she left the tent. You’d been laid up now for a little over two weeks and you were really having a hard time with it. You were still in the tent and you’d tried to get Billy to help you leave so you could stay outside, knowing the kids used it. He’d convinced you though that they had a few tents, they just preferred not to use them and that the kids were already set up in a different one. Your injuries were at odds with each other which made things a little complicated. With your cracked ribs, you weren’t supposed to just lay there the whole time as mucus could build up in your lungs, but with your gorged and possibly fractured leg, you really couldn't get around. Curtis had instructed you to instead stay propped up and every so often, sit up fully and move your shoulders around. Your leg was currently in a makeshift splint made from wood and twine that Matt and Foggy had hobbled together. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but you were just grateful you still had a leg. With how much blood you’d lost with your wounds, you didn’t think you’d have made it if they had to amputate. You reached over and grabbed your walkie from beside your bed area, the bracelet catching your eye once more and making you smile. You’d hated being cooped up like this, nothing to do, not able to go on runs with the rest of them. It was your definition of hell. There was nothing you hated more than being stuck in like this with nothing to take your mind off your treacherous thoughts or memories. Thankfully though, the people here would constantly check on you to make sure you were doing okay, Leo stopping by more than most. Zach had brought you a flower he’d found just days before that was now sitting in a bottle of water near the door of the tent. For going through something so jarring like this new world and losing everything they ever knew from their old life, the kids were doing pretty well mentally and you were glad.

You knew Billy was partly to blame for everyone checking in on you though when he wasn’t here and he was out on runs. You'd only found that out after Sarah came to see you after one week of being here. She’d let it slip in conversation that Billy had been reluctant to go on any runs since it meant leaving you here without him and he’d only been lured into going by being promised you wouldn't be left alone for too long, but that wasn’t all she let slip. She’d also told you that the day he’d brought you back to the camp, bleeding and possibly on the verge of death, that he’d really lost his shit. He’d been getting in the way of Curtis trying to help you and every time you woke up in pain, he’d lost it and Curtis had to get Frank to remove him which resulted in them fighting. The fight only ended when Billy ended up having a full-blown panic attack in the middle of it. You’d been surprised to hear just how strongly he’d reacted to you being hurt but he hadn’t exactly told you about it. You weren’t sure how long you’d been out of it before you woke up that day after being fixed back together, you’d never bothered to ask, but clearly you’d missed the drama. But with how he’d reacted you to alone witnessing his panic attack what felt like forever ago, you knew he probably decided to sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen. Sure, these people were his family and he trusted them a hell of a lot more than he’d trusted you at the time you’d witnessed his panic attack, but he saw it as a weakness and it wasn’t something he relished in. You hadn’t brought it up for that very reason because you didn’t want to fight with him, and you knew he’d be an asshole out of sheer defensiveness. It had been startling to hear about his reaction from someone else like that. It was one thing him telling you he included you in his little family now or that he cared, but this really cemented the fact and it was a weird sensation to you. But you knew if the shoe was on the other foot and it had been Billy dangling on the edge of death, you’d probably have burnt the whole forest down.

“Ares, you there? It’s Artemis,” you said down the walkie with a wry smile. You’d taken to calling him that sometimes instead of Blackbird, you couldn't help yourself.

“Go for Ares, everythin’ good?” he asked and you could hear the smile he had from your new nickname for him. You’d spent a hell of a lot of time with Billy since you’d been here, mostly because when he wasn’t off doing runs, hunting or taking watch, he was in the tent with you. He even slept in here with you, telling you he needed to make sure you were okay. You’d tried to tell him the worst was over and that he hadn’t needed to sequester himself away like this, but he’d refused to listen to you. He didn’t seem too bothered by it so you decided to stop worrying so much, it wasn’t like you hated him being here with you.

“Yeah… just bored,” you muttered, glaring at the walls of the tent. You really hated being stuck here like this when there was so much left to do and you still felt a little shaken up by the attack that led you to this position. Anyone could turn up here and you’d be defenseless and unable to protect anyone. You hadn’t brought up the whole Rawlins thing with Billy knowing he was very on edge with it all. You’d heard snippets from outside the tent with Frank and Billy becoming increasingly agitated that they had no leads to go on. Karen had an attempt on her life and now this was your second one, everyone was antsy. You’d wondered why they targeted you and not the others though, given your lack of history with the man or even this group. You’d heard Billy say something to Matt about how it was to get at him, to take something away that he cared about. You weren’t sure about that and wondered if it was more an association thing. They knew you were connected with the group now and it would send a message. Either way, Billy hadn’t mentioned it to you, nor you to him, and you had no idea just what was going on with the whole thing. You were just thankful that nothing else had gone wrong since but it did leave you feeling on edge, like you were waiting for the dam to break.

“How are you feelin’?” he asked, concern lacing his voice and you could picture the frown marring his face that he often wore when he asked you that question.

“Achey, frustrated… the usual,” you snorted, not wanting to really go on about it or he’d end up coming back from the run early. Your injuries seemed to be healing and weren’t hurting as much as they had been but you still weren’t right. Your ribs felt a lot better and less like they were about to cave in with every little movement but if you coughed or sneezed, you felt like they’d cracked all over again. The puncture wounds on your leg were healing well and Curtis had removed the stitches. The possible fracture was another thing though and would take some more time. The only time you’d left the tent was when Karen and Sarah would have to all but carry you out, your arms around their shoulders, so you could pee and you couldn't put your weight in your bad leg. Billy had offered to help you but you drew the line firmly. You weren’t about to let him help you go to the bathroom.

“How’s the run going, anyway?” you asked, wanting to change the subject. You didn’t walkie him just to whine about your unfortunate circumstances and you wouldn't be responsible for him rushing back to camp again.

“A complete bust, there’s nothin’ here,” he sighed and you frowned at his despondent tone. You were pretty sure winter had started now and the cold would only get worse. They wanted to go on as many runs as possible so they didn’t have to venture out into the cold, especially if it snowed or got to freezing temperatures.

“That sucks, I’m sorry. There’s always next time, right?” you asked, trying to be optimistic for his sake. You were never optimistic, not since the turn. You’d been very firmly a glass half empty kinda girl for a long while but you didn’t want to show that with Billy, not when you knew he always took it like a personal failure every time he came back empty-handed.

“Yeah, I guess,” he muttered and your frown deepened as you shifted carefully where you sat.

“And you got a bunch of shit a few days ago so it’s not like this was essential. Not to mention the three rabbits you got hunting before you left this morning,” you pointed out.

“Yeah… yeah, it was a good hunt,” he murmured and you felt better that he didn’t sound like he was beating himself up so much.

“You guys heading back now?” you asked curiously, a tinge of hope in your voice. As much as you appreciated everyone coming in throughout the day to keep you company, it wasn’t the same as Billy being here. Even the camp just seemed quieter without most of the guys and you felt the loss of their presence.

“Just got one quick stop left, then we’re headed home,” he affirmed and you felt yourself relax a little.

“Alright, I’ll let you get to it then,” you smiled to yourself.

“See you soon, Ares out,” he ended and it made your smile widen a little.

It was a little under an hour later when you heard the guys get back into camp, the volume going up ever so slightly as it always did when they arrived. They didn’t sound as jovial as they did when they came back with stuff, but they didn’t sound too put out either. You wished you could be out of the tent, waiting with the others to greet them on arrival. It felt so odd to be isolated in the tent. You were used to being alone but you weren’t quite alone. You were in this weird limbo and you didn’t like it. Your tent opened and Billy poked his head inside and you were surprised to see the grin on his face after how disappointed he’d been when you’d spoken to him.

“I found you somethin’,” he beamed, and you raised your brows, wondering what it could be or why it seemed to put him in such a good mood. He was still lurking in the doorway of the tent, not coming right inside like he usually did.

“What is it?” you asked curiously. His grin got bigger as he reached beside him and suddenly, he was holding a pair of crutches. You blinked at them for a moment before your brain registered what it was you were looking at and what that meant.

“Seriously? Where the fuck did you find them?” you asked, a smile on your own dancing on your lips. While it wasn’t like you could go on runs yet, it meant you’d be able to move freely around the camp and you wouldn't be locked away in your tent.

“Found ‘em on the way back. Come on,” he smirked, setting the crutches to the side before he moved into the tent. He put your arm around him before he helped haul you up and you only winced slightly at the barely there twinge in your ribs. He guided you out of the tent and you noticed it was just getting dark. Billy handed you the crutches and you grabbed them, testing them out a little bit and grinning when they helped you get about. Billy was giving you a wistful smile as you tested them and when you beamed a smile at him, his eyes seemed to sparkle.

“I don’t think I’ve been so happy to see crutches in my entire life. These are awesome, thank you,” you smiled brightly at him and he shrugged, a smile on his lips he couldn't seem to shake.

“Know how much you hate bein’ cooped up. When I saw ‘em… couldn’t just pass ‘em by,” he explained, looking a little bashful. You used your crutches to go over to him as he watched you looking slightly amused. You couldn't wrap your arms around him in a hug like you wanted, given your hands were previously occupied with the crutches, but you leaned into him and he seemed to take the hint as his arms came around you and you lay your head on his chest. He had one hand on your lower back, the other cradling your head, his preference of how he liked to hug you it seemed as this was how he did it every time. You already felt so much lighter at the idea of having some of your freedom back.

“Thank you,” you murmured once again and he placed a kiss to the top of your head that made your stomach flip around and your cheeks get hot. You knew he was resisting the urge to tell you that you didn’t need to thank him. No matter what you thanked him for, he’d tell you that you didn’t need to thank him and you’d tell him every time that you would anyway.

“I’m glad you like ‘em,” he smiled, lips still pressed against your hair a little.

“Come on, Karen’s makin’ dinner,” he said after a long moment of him holding you. You moved away, flashing him another grateful smile before you used your crutches to go to the campfire area where everyone was sitting around.

“Well, who the fuck is this?” Frank asked teasingly and you snorted. It wasn’t like you hadn't seen him at all but this was the first time joining everyone for dinner since Billy had brought you here. Billy took your crutches from you, letting you cling onto him so you didn’t put pressure on your leg before he lowered you to sit on a log that the guys had found and dragged here for seating. He placed the crutches to your left before he sat next to you on the right.

Karen got to work cooking the rabbit from that morning and you’d instructed her earlier on how to salt the rest to preserve it. You didn’t mind them using the salt since you were essentially part of the group now. At first, Billy had made it clear it was because the treehouse was dangerous and you were hurt, but everybody knew, including yourself, that you were just part of the group now. With the whole Rawlins thing looming over you, it wasn't safe for you to be on your own now you had a target on your back and it wasn’t like you had anywhere else to go anyway. The idea of leaving completely and leaving everyone behind was far too unpleasant now. That itch in the back of your mind that was screaming at you to run had been quelled to nothing but a mere whisper after you almost died again. You all ate and people made conversation and you realized just how much you’d missed this. It was a simple thing, just sitting here and enjoying dinner with everyone, but eating alone in your tent or with only Billy for company had started to feel a little lonely. And of course, you’d felt bad for Billy every time.

“I think maybe we should consider making our way to the other safe house,” Sarah mused as she licked her fingers clean and your curious eyes flit to her then. You’d never heard then mention a safe house, let alone two.

“Safe house?” you asked curiously, glancing around at everyone. Even though you were technically part of this group, there was still that uncertainty about you, the odd one out. You still felt like there was so much you didn’t know and still felt like you didn’t have the right to ask. You wondered if that would ever go away. If this turned out to be your group now and if miraculously they didn’t wind up dead like your last group, would you always feel like the black sheep?

“You remember I told you Micro picked this place? When we needed to leave the city?” Frank asked as he glanced at you and you nodded at him, remembering the brief conversation you’d had with him on the way back from killing the assholes that had slit your throat.

“He knew some guy, he’s got safe houses all over the place but Micro knows of two. We picked this one ‘cause it was closer but we got there and… and there was nothin’ left. The whole place had gone up in flames at some point. Nothin’ but a set of bones now,” Frank explained, a dark look passing across his face.

“Doesn’t sound like a very safe safe house,” you murmured and Billy snorted next to you.

“Ain’t that the truth,” he muttered.

“This guy had connections to Rawlins too and now we know the prick is still up and kickin’... well we think he mighta done it,” Frank huffed, rage flashing behind his eyes for a second before it was gone.

“How do you know Rawlins hasn’t done the same to the other one?” you asked with a small frown.

“We don’t,” Billy bit out, not sounding happy with the idea of the other safe house. Not that you blamed him given everything you knew about Rawlins and what he’d done to the first one. You could just imagine how demoralizing it was to travel somewhere you thought was safe, only to find it in shambles.

“Come on, man. This one is in Virginia. The chances of Rawlins hitting both of them? He probably doesn’t even know about this one,” Micro argued weakly, shying away from the glare Billy shot his way.

“We’re not goin’ to the other safe house… not yet anyway,” Frank piped up firmly.

“Frank…” Karen sighed, a knowing tone to her voice that made you feel like you were missing something.

“I don't wanna hear it,” Frank answered, not even looking at her as his jaw tightened.

“I have to agree with the girls on this one. Rawlins is getting bold and it’s dangerous. Sarah’s pregnant and getting her to safety is what’s important here,” Matt murmured carefully and Billy’s dark eyes cut to him then. Unlike Micro though, Matt’s unfocused gaze didn’t waver.

“We’re never gonna be safe as long as Rawlins is alive. No matter where we end up, he’s gonna follow us until he picks us off one by one,” Billy glowered as he rolled his shoulder.

“We’re gonna get Rawlins first, then we can leave and maybe actually start a life there,” Frank added, his tone telling everyone there was no room for arguments. Foggy however, didn’t get the memo, or he didn’t give a shit.

“And how are you gonna get him, Frank? We have no leads, no idea where he is or even how many men he’s got. We’re sitting ducks here, man,” he whined, looking around at everyone with a worried face. You could see it from both sides. Men like Rawlins didn’t just give up and he seemed to have men willing to do his bidding for him. If they left, then of course he’d follow them. As Billy had once said, the man seemed to be ten steps ahead at all times and it was terrifying. The last thing they needed was to lead Rawlins to yet another potential safe location, only to have it blown to smithereens and be left with nothing. Not to mention it was about an 11 hour drive there which required a lot of gas and you’d run the risk of coming across them on the way there. But you also knew why the others were wary of just staying here. They were out in the open here, no protection, no walls. And it seemed like Rawlins probably already knew where they were given the fact his men had found you not too far away and had followed you and Karen when you’d gone to the baby store.

“Look… if you wanna leave and go to Virginia, be my fuckin’ guest. But I ain’t leavin’ until this shit is done,” Frank gave Foggy a harsh look and the man looked away with a sigh. You knew they wouldn't leave, not unless all of them were together. You felt unsure about the whole thing, you didn’t even know if the invite extended to you. Didn’t know if they’d just leave you behind even though part of you felt like they wouldn't. You wouldn't assume.

With no wiggle room on Frank or Billy’s side, the conversion soon turned to some lighter topics and you were thankful. You really didn’t enjoy the heaviness or drama. Once it got late and Billy saw you yawning, he helped you back into the tent to get some rest.

“So, let’s hear it then,” he muttered once you’d laid down, half propped up with some balled-up blankets. He himself sat down on his sleeping bag that was now in the tent.

“Hear what?” you asked, sounding confused as you looked at him.

“You think we should head out to the safe house, right?” he asked. He didn’t sound annoyed, more resigned than anything like he was waiting for an earful or something.

“I don’t know what you guys should do honestly. There’s risks either way, so…” you shrugged lightly, being mindful of your healing ribs. He looked a little surprised but his body relaxed, like what you thought about the whole thing mattered to him.

“We just need this over with. Me and Frank… we had this loomin’ over us for far too long, it’s time to end it all. Once it’s done, we can head out and maybe we got a shot of a safe life down there,” he insisted and you nodded, yawning once again as tiredness took its hold.

“You know I’ll back you up, whatever you choose,” you murmured sleepily and he smiled at you as he settled to lay down. It was silent for a while as you started to drift off, but just before sleep could drag you under, Billy’s voice cut through the silence.

“You’re comin’ with us when we go… right?” he asked, his voice sounding weirdly small to your ears and you blinked through the darkness at him. He wasn’t looking at you, laying on his back as his eyes glared up at the ceiling of the tent. It made your stomach clench and your heart flutter that he’d asked.

“Do you want me to?” you asked slowly as self-doubt crept in. He finally turned his head to look at you then and you could barely make him out of the blanket of darkness in the tent.

“What kinda question is that? Of course I do. Was just tryin' to figure out if you’d put up a fight or not so I knew how to prepare for it. I’d take you even if you said no,” he said with a wry smirk and your lips curled into a smile as you rolled your eyes. You didn’t even doubt it.

“Then I guess I’ll go. I mean, someone has to keep saving your ass,” you grinned cheekily and he scoffed.

“Please, like I haven't saved your ass just as much,” he muttered and you could just picture his look of mock offense as you snorted.

“By my count, I’ve saved your life three times already, you’ve saved mine once,” you shrugged playfully and you felt his eyes burning into you.

“Well now I’m startin’ to rethink my life choices,” he huffed teasingly and you grinned to yourself. It was a little exciting to think about leaving and going somewhere else. An adventure you were longing for, especially since you ended up getting bed bound. You wondered what the safe house would be like, what the potential could be there. Was there room to make some kind of small farm where you guys could grow your own crops? Make a water system? You found yourself falling to sleep with a smile on your face as you thought about it.

Two months later

You bent down and grabbed the pieces of wood, putting them into the basket before you picked it up and walked to find more firewood. It was dark outside and winter was in full swing, a layer of frost covering the ground. You felt it down to your bones despite the many layers you were wearing and the big puffy coat that Billy had gotten you from a run. A lot of things had changed in the months that had passed and for the most part, you were fully healed. The splint was off your leg and you still had a very small limp, but you were pretty much back to normal. Since Curtis took your splint off two weeks before, you’d gone back to hunting and doing things and you felt amazing at the normalcy of it all. Or mostly normal anyway. As soon as Curtis gave you the all clear, you’d wanted to go on a run but Billy had given you a firm no on it, telling you that you weren’t 100% yet. You’d agreed given the fact he wasn’t entirely wrong and you didn’t want to be the reason someone wound up dead because you lagged behind if something bad happened. But when he’d also tried to tell you that you couldn’t go hunting either, it had resulted in an explosive argument in front of the entire camp. Hunting was your domain and you knew what you were doing. It wasn’t even like you’d be venturing too far from camp either and his bossiness had hit a nerve. You’d told him that while you might be part of the group now, it didn’t give him the right to try and tell you what you could and couldn't do. He didn’t back down though. Despite the fact you were mostly better now, Billy hadn’t stopped sharing a tent with you like you thought he might, his reasoning for sharing in the first place being to keep an eye on you. But even after you healed, he’d stayed and you were grateful for it. You didn't think you could go back to sleeping alone, you struggled even on the days where you didn’t have watch together and he’d be out there with you alone in the tent. Even when no conversation was happening, just knowing he was there, feeling his presence, was enough to soothe you and make you feel safe. But in your fury at him after your argument, you’d grabbed a spare tent. Everyone had theirs up now since the cold was in full effect and you’d decided to just have one to yourself if Billy wanted to be that way. But you hadn’t even started to put it up when he’d come over to you, sheepishly telling you that he was sorry, he was just worried you’d get hurt again. You’d remembered Sarah's words about how hard he'd taken it when you almost died and you decided to give him some leeway. Rawlins was still a threat and just because nothing had happened in the months that had gone by, it didn’t mean they wouldn't. If anything, it made it more likely that shit was going to happen soon with how eerily quiet things had been on that front. You remembered what it was like to worry like this over people, hell, you worried all the time now for the group you were now a part of. And his fears weren’t really unjustified given the fact that you’d almost been murdered twice now. So you’d told him that while you wouldn’t be giving up hunting, you'd at least take someone with you for backup and make sure your walkie was on. He’d allowed it, not wanting you to be mad at him, and of course, that night you shared the tent once more. He hadn’t been as bossy since but it hadn’t gone unnoticed that he seemed to be the one accompanying you hunting each time you went.

You were feeling antsy though with the lack of moves on Rawlins’ part and you wondered just what it was he was planning, because you didn’t doubt he was planning something. Everyone seemed more on edge about the whole thing and the more time that passed, the more you just wanted to make your way to the safe house in Virginia and be done with it. You weren’t the only one though and it had caused a lot of tension between the group lately, especially now Sarah was starting to show. It was like everyone was waiting for the other shoe to drop. No one really wanted anything to happen as it most likely meant someone else getting hurt again, but at the same time, if nothing happened, there would never be any leads to go off to see if Frank and Billy could figure out how to deal with Rawlins. It was a stalemate and one that seemed to be chipping at the whole group's sanity. Feeling like you had enough firewood, you started to walk back. You knew Karen was cooking food and you hoped it would be done when you got back. Your body was getting used to the regular meals, even if it mostly was canned goods now it was the colder months. You hadn’t been able to find any fresh meat but it didn’t mean you didn’t try, going out almost every day. You did have some meat preserved but it was being rationed out until the cold went away. You’d ventured a little further out than you’d meant to and you could only imagine Billy throwing a fit if he knew as you made your way back through the trees to the camp. But then you heard yelling and your whole body tensed like a tightly wound coil, dropping the basket of firewood on the floor as you grabbed your knife. When you got to the camp, still slightly outside of it in the trees, you saw a man. He wasn’t some weary traveler hoping for some hospitality though, instead he was holding a gun to Leo who he held in front of him, his gun to her temple as she shook and cried and you didn’t remember the last time you felt rage like this flow through you like lava. The guys were all pointing guns at the man but it was risky to shoot him, not knowing how fast of a shot he was and if Leo would get a bullet to the head in the process. Everyone was shouting over each other and you could barely make out who was saying what, but you weren’t focused on that. Your grip tightened around your knife as you crept from tree to tree in the darkness, getting closer and closer to the man. When you were close enough, you sprang up, pressing the tip of your knife to the base of his skull and you heard his sharp intake of breath. It gave you a sick satisfaction that you’d caught him off guard.

“Drop the gun and let her go,” you demanded harshly.

“Really, sweetheart?” he asked mockingly and you dug the tip of your knife into his flesh ever so slightly, enough to draw a slight amount of blood and his whole body tensed up.

“You know, I sharpened my knife this morning. Wouldn't really take much pressure for it to slice right through your brain stem,” you growled dangerously. The man chuckled but he sounded annoyed, yet he listened as he held his arms out, dropping the gun to the floor. Leo rushed off into her scared and tearful mother’s arms and you kicked the back of the asshole’s knee, forcing him to kneel as he hit the muddy floor with a thud. You moved out of the way as Billy and Frank approached him, thunderous faces and guns at the ready and Karen grabbed your wrist, yanking you towards her and further out of the way as if she was trying to protect you.

“You think you’re funny, huh? Comin’ to our camp like this?” Frank asked roughly, his eyes glittering menacingly. The man had a lazy smirk on his face despite kneeling on the floor with guns pointed at him.

“It is pretty fun to see you all scramble like rats on the Titanic,” he grinned. Frank yelled, punching him so hard in the face that the man’s head whipped to the side. It looked painful but the man didn’t even flinch. Instead, he started laughing in a way that made a cold chill run down your spine.

“Where’s Rawlins?” Billy asked seethingly. He looked like he was hanging on by a thread the way his dark eyes glared at the man. The man in question just gave him a shrug that made Billy growl, his back straightening as he rolled his shoulder.

“You’ll see him soon enough,” the man finally answered ominously and Frank and Billy shared a look at his words.

“The fuck does that mean?” Frank asked in a low voice. The man on the floor turned his eyes to Micro, Sarah and the kids then who were now standing by the tent, the kids huddled with their parents as Matt stood next to them protectively.

“He’s gonna start with the Lieberman’s first. Little Leo and Zach… the lovely pregnant Sarah,” the man smirked darkly and it felt like someone poured ice-cold water over you as your eyes darted from the man and then to Sarah. Knowing where you were and following you was one thing, but knowing that private information only meant they’d been listening in to the walkie calls despite various channel changes or that they’d been close enough to the camp without any of you knowing it to hear conversations. Both options were deeply unsettling to you. The man turned his eyes to Frank then, still wearing that smug and unsettling grin.

“Then it’ll be Karen,” he smirked before turning to Billy. “Y/N…” he added with a vicious smile. You barely had time to process your name before a gunshot rang out and you jumped as the man flew back with a bullet hole in his head. Billy stood there, gun outstretched and a detached yet crazed look in his eyes.

“The fuck, Bill?!” Frank yelled, moving over to glare at Billy. Billy cracked his neck, rolling his shoulder once more before he turned his cold eyes onto his best friend.

“What?” he asked slowly, eyes squinting.

“He was our only lead, man! How long have we waited for somethin’ like this? And you just-just fuckin’ shoot him before we get anythin’ outta him!” Frank bellowed. You were pretty sure the vein in his neck was about to burst.

“He came into our camp, Frank! He threatened our kids, our goddamn women! You okay with him doin’ that?!” Billy snarled. Frank shook his head, wiping a tired hand down his face.

“Don’t talk shit! You know I’m not okay with it, but he was all we had. It ain’t like we were lettin’ walk away from this anyway,” Frank huffed with a glower.

“We both know that fucker wasn’t about to tell us shit. There’s a reason Rawlins sent this piece of shit and not another one. You saw him, Frankie, this asshole was ready to die for Rawlins. We coulda tortured him for days and he wouldn’ta give us shit,” Billy argued hotly. He and Frank shared an intense stare-off for a moment and you shifted on your feet, unsure if they were about to fight. Despite being best friends, from what you heard, physical fights with the pair weren’t uncommon. Frank was the first to look away and he took a large steadying breath, closing his eyes as he did.

“Well there’s not much we can fuckin’ do about it now. Check him out, see if he’s got anythin’ on him that could help,” he ordered and Billy’s jaw twitched at the commanding tone yet he still did as he was told. Frank’s eyes turned to Matt and Foggy then.

“You two, check the perimeter, make sure no one else is around. Check the road too, see if the asshole brought a car or some shit with him,” he muttered and the pair nodded before they left the camp. Your body was shaking slightly, still on edge from the whole thing.

“You okay?” Karen asked you softly as Frank went to talk to a frantic looking Micro by the tent.

“Yeah, you?” you asked, looking at her shocked face. She nodded but the movement was jerky and you knew this had shaken her up. You’d seen a lot of things and death since the world fell apart, you’d done a lot of shit too. You had no idea what Karen had been through between the start of the turn and now, no idea if she was used to this bullshit or not. You were to a degree. Seeing someone who was bad get killed didn’t bother you, not anymore. It wasn’t like there was a justice system in place to take care of the evil in the world, not that it helped much back in the old world anyway. You were more startled by how much information they knew. That was worrying.

You stayed off to the side as people spoke in hushed tones, not wanting to intrude even as Billy walked over to the Liebermans and they had what looked to be a very intense exchange. You still somewhat felt like an outsider, despite your life being threatened by the man and his goons on several occasions now. After a while, Frank and Billy came over to you and Karen, both of them with grave faces and Micro following behind them.

“We need you to do us a favor and it’s a big one,” Frank said bluntly, his eyes not wavering as they pinned you in place.

“What is it?” you asked, already knowing you’d most likely say yes. This whole thing was getting out of hand and now the kids' lives and Sarah’s and the baby’s lives were on the line.

“You need to take Sarah and the kids to the safe house in Virginia,” Micro blurted. He looked absolutely terrified and you understood why, but his words had a frown creasing your brows.

“What about you guys?” you asked warily as your eyes darted to all of them before landing on Billy.

“We’re gonna stay here. We got unfinished business and it needs to get done. We need to stop hidin’ out here and see what we can find,” he muttered, his feral eyes not landing on you and seemingly darting to everything else. The idea of leaving them behind, especially Billy, made your chest constrict and your frown only deepened.

“You’ll be takin’ Karen too,” Frank added.

“Like hell I’m going!” Karen protested firmly.

“Karen…” Frank sighed, turning his tired face in the direction of his girlfriend who was glaring bloody murder at him.

“No! You’re not bundling me into a van and sending me 11 hours away, I’m not going. I draw the fucking line!” she yelled, looking more than beyond pissed and Frank sighed with a shake of his head. He wisely didn’t argue with her and you had a feeling if he had, he wouldn’t come out victorious with this one. That still left you to be the chaperone though for the trip and you didn’t like it. Not only was it a big responsibility, but you had no idea when the rest of them would come to join you. How long would you and the Liebermans be down there by yourselves?

As if sensing your thoughts, no doubt from the deep frown taking root on your face, Billy glanced at Frank before he took your arm and you led you away from the others.

“I know it’s a lot to ask,” he murmured, looking at you softly as you shook your head.

“Billy, I…” you trailed off, wrapping your arms around yourself as you looked away.

“Please, Y/N,” he prodded and you closed your eyes with a deep sigh.

“Why does it have to be me?” you asked, giving him a look.

“We need all the manpower we can get here, we don’t know what shit might go down,” he explained but it didn’t make you feel any better.

“Exactly, which is why I’d be better here,” you argued.

“You need to be with Sarah and the kids. They need someone to watch out for ‘em, to get ‘em there safely. We know you can do that, I know it,” he implored and you hated the stabbing in your chest at his words. If Karen had agreed to go with you, you could have made a case that she could have done that, but it was down to you and you didn’t like it.

“Why don’t… why don’t you come with us?” you asked weakly, already knowing what the answer would be. Your tone held a desperate edge you hadn’t been able to mask but you couldn't help it though. The idea of leaving him for god knows how long and being so far away from him made you feel sick. He’d become a constant in your life, even down to sharing a tent. You weren’t sure how you were supposed to be without him now. Not to mention the crippling worry that he wouldn't make it at all that was already gnawing at you.

“You know I can’t do that,” he frowned, a regretful look on his face. You looked away as you felt a lump lodge into your throat and you looked away from him. You were fighting the urge to cry and you refused to do so, especially in front of him. You were friends now and you liked to think you were close friends, but you didn’t want to make it into such a big deal and have him be weirded out by it. He didn’t seem bothered by it and his plan was to reunite everyone after Rawlins was taken care of. You didn’t want him to think you didn’t believe in him. You felt his cold hands cup either side of your face and your eyes snapped to him as you blinked rapidly.

“We’ll be as quick as we can with this shit, alright? We won't be too long,” he said firmly as if he could read your thoughts and you felt your cheeks burn.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you murmured, causing him to frown. It was one thing you’d learned in this new world, never to promise things when you couldn't predict the future. Anything could happen between you leaving and them getting there. If they even made it. He didn’t argue with you, probably seeing there was no point or maybe he realized you were right, you didn’t know. Instead, he pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around you but you didn’t melt into him like you usually did. You hugged back but your whole body felt tense, it felt far too much like a goodbye and you didn’t like it. After a moment, he moved away but you still couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“When are we leaving?” you asked quietly.

“Now, preferably,” he said sheepishly and you bit your lower lip to stop a snarky reply leaving your mouth. You didn’t like the feeling of being ousted from the group so suddenly with no time to prepare. For all you knew, you’d never see these people again or it could be months until you did. Everything was far too sudden and it was jarring.

“Okay, I’ll get my shit together then,” you muttered and he nodded, looking at you with sad eyes.

“Me and Frank are gonna get the van ready for you,” he nodded, giving you one last look before he walked away.

Your eyes drifted to Sarah then who was arguing with Micro. You knew whatever you were feeling about leaving Billy, she was feeling tenfold. The kids both looked distraught, Leo looking shell shocked, not that you blamed her after being held at gunpoint like that. You heaved a large sigh before moving to your tent. It sent a bitter pang to your chest as you glanced around the tent you’d called home for months, seeing your makeshift bed beside Billy’s. You tried to ignore it as you packed your bag ready, making sure the picture of you and your brother was in there. You took your bow and arrows too and you knew Karen and the guys would be putting food in the van to take with you. You had to force yourself to drag your feet from the tent. Frank and Billy still weren’t there so you mused they were at the van. Matt and Foggy were back though and seemingly had nothing to report. They were all talking to Sarah and the kids, probably saying their goodbyes as you approached.

“I’ll see you guys when you’re done,” you said pointedly, not wanting to do a whole goodbye speech. Maybe you’d regret it if they never came to reunite with you, but you almost felt like you'd be jinxing yourself if you gave them some grand speech. Despite your lack of meaningful goodbyes, they still decided to give you a hug, Micro being the last to do so. It was a little awkward and you patted his back before he moved away.

“Thank you,” he murmured sincerely and it made some of your annoyance fizzle right away. You felt a bit selfish then. You were annoyed at having this responsibility put on you and annoyed at how sudden it was. But most of all you were annoyed at being separated from the group, feeling like it was a very bad idea and annoyed over the fact that you didn’t know you’d ever see them or Billy ever again. You knew though that getting Sarah and the kids far away from this bullshit was the best course of action, they’d been the ones who the man had said would be targeted first. You nodded, giving him a hesitant smile before you moved over to Sarah and the kids.

“Ready?” you asked and she nodded at you, not looking any happier than you were about all of this.

“I’ve put food and supplies in the van for you guys. We’re not using the walkies right now, not with everything that guy knew. They wouldn't work that far anyway,” Karen shrugged as she hovered near you both. It felt like hell, not even hearing from them until they maybe turned up one day. You decided to suck it up though. Being part of a group meant sacrifices, you knew that. You weren’t doing this for yourself, you were doing this for them. But a niggling voice in the back of your head wondered if Billy had insisted it be you because he also wanted you out of all this. It wouldn't be a first with how much he tried to stop you doing anything once you got better. He wanted all hands on deck here but anyone could have gone with Sarah and you could have stayed behind. Curtis would be a better fit for it in case anything happened with the baby before everyone joined up again. You didn’t even want to touch that train of thought with a ten foot pole or you really wouldn't leave.

Sarah walked beside you, the kids trailing behind, as you weaved through the trees to get to the road. When you got there, Frank and Billy were standing near the van looking deep in serious conversation. You hovered near the van as Frank hugged the kids and Sarah, telling them goodbye for now and Billy seemed to linger by your side looking like he wanted to say something, but nothing left his mouth. When Frank was done with the Liebermans, he turned his gaze to you as he walked over.

“I swear, if the word goodbye leaves your lips, I’ll stab you in the throat,” while you wore a teasing smirk, there was a serious edge to your voice that made him chuckle nervously as he nodded.

“Can I at least get a hug?” he asked, giving you a sheepish smile and you rolled your eyes before you allowed him to. It was a brief hug and you knew he probably had words he wanted to say but he settled on just hugging you. When he moved away, he looked at you for a moment before giving you a hesitant smile. Billy took your hand then and turned you to face him and you felt your whole body tense up tightly. His mouth opened and closed a few times, a small frown on his face like there was so much he wanted to say and he didn’t know where to start.

“Stay safe,” he settled on saying and he was lucky because with how you were feeling, you weren’t above punching him.

“I’ll try,” you murmured with a nod, heart feeling heavy as you looked at him. He wrapped his arms around you and you tried to relax into it, knowing you wouldn't get this comfort in who knows how long. You took a deep inhale, trying to let his scent soothe you as you tried to commit it to memory. It felt like he held you forever and you heard car doors opening and shutting. He placed a firm kiss to the top of your head before he moved away, his dark eyes boring into you.

“I’ll see you around,” you muttered uncomfortably, making him nod as he swallowed thickly. You couldn't stick around to keep looking at his sad eyes like this. While he was sending you off, he didn't look too happy about it and it was making you feel all upside down. You moved to the driver’s side, noticing Sarah sitting in the passenger seat and the kids huddled in the back with a bunch of supplies. You and Sarah shared a look before you started the van, heaving a sigh as you pulled out of there before your heart won out and you refused to leave. You had to get them to safety. If the safe house in Virginia even held safety, but you’d deal with that when it came to it.

The whole van was blanketed in uncomfortable and tense silence as you started driving and you stared out at the road. It was icy and you tried to take the journey slow, not wanting anything to go wrong on your way there. It had been so long since you’d driven anything and it felt like being a newbie all over again. The silence was eating at you, not even the kids talking in the back and your skin felt like it didn’t fit right.

“They’ll be fine,” Sarah murmured after ten minutes of driving, the map in her lap. You weren’t sure if she was trying to convince you, the kids or herself but her words didn’t seem to ease any of you. You wanted to say something reassuring for her sake and especially for the kids. Something like ‘I know’ or ‘we’ll see them soon’. But you wouldn't lie to them, wouldn't be responsible for them getting their hopes up like that. If you expected the worst then it wouldn't be such a shock when it happened. You nodded, as much of a lie as you could muster because something in your gut just didn’t feel right about the whole thing. Another fifteen minutes of torturous silence as you drove slowly passed by and you wished the roads weren’t so icy because you could floor it and get there quicker. It was around about an 11 hour car ride but it would take way longer if all the roads were this bad, especially in the dark. You never liked driving at night and you were waiting for a roamer or something to pop out in front of you, the only saving grace being the journey was on a straight shot road at least for another few miles. Maybe you’d be a little more reckless if it was just you in the van, but you had Sarah here who was pregnant and the kids. You’d been tasked with keeping them safe and that’s what you’d damn well do because you couldn't fail anyone else. The group had trusted you with this, Billy had trusted you. It was so dark that you didn’t even see the car behind you until they turned their headlights on and you swerved a little in shock at the brightness blinding you from the rearview mirror.

“What the fuck?!” you yelled as you resisted the urge to whirl your head around and look through the back window. You couldn't take your eyes off the road and like hell you were about to pull over.

“Who is that?!” Zach panicked and Sarah gave you a look.

“Maybe… maybe it’s Frank… or Billy… maybe we forgot something,” she murmured with a frown, far too hopeful and naive for your liking.

“That’s not Frank or Billy,” you bit out, your hands tightening around the wheel as the car behind revved its engine and came up right behind you. You put your foot down on the gas, still wary of going too fast with the conditions of the road. You felt like you could hear your heartbeat in your ears like a drum as you tried to figure out what to do. You couldn't outrun them, not with the ice. If you stopped, they’d stop too and you could only imagine what would happen then. You felt like you couldn't breathe. You glanced back in the mirror, watching as the car was dangerously close to the van and you were so preoccupied with the car that you didn’t see the spike strip laid out on the road until you went over it. The tires popped audibly and the kids yelled out as you lost control of the van. You tried your hardest to not veer from the road but the wrecked tires and the ice was too much of a bad combination and before you knew what was happening, the van was careening off the road and down the slope to the side. You were vaguely aware of the van rolling at least twice before your head harshly smacked into the steering wheel and everything went dark.

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@ariesbutalibra

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

#billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #billy russo

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that-weird-skeleton-bastard · 8 months

Text

Psychonauts hunger games episode 2

because the absolute chaos of this generator is hilarious

Bloodbath

Elka Doom bashes Franke Athens's head against a rock several times.

Mikhail Bulgakov shoots a poisonous blow dart into sasha nein's neck, slowly killing him. (revenge from last time lol)

bobby zilch attacks Phoebe Love, but Clem Foote protects her, killing bobby zilch.

Elton Fir grabs a sword.

milla vodello grabs a sword.

Vernon Tripe finds a canteen full of water.

dr caligosto loboto and Quentin Hedgemouse fight for a bag. Quentin Hedgemouse gives up and retreats. (well if i had to fight a freaky mf who's over 9 ft tall with a clawed prosthetic arm, I'D PROBABLY RUN TOO-)

Chloe Barge breaks raz aquato's nose for a basket of bread.

augustus aquato grabs a shield leaning on the cornucopia.

Nils Lutefisk, Benny Fideleo, Chops Sweetwind, and ford crueller share everything they gathered before running.

Crystal Flowers grabs a jar of fishing bait while Dogen Boole gets fishing gear.

Kitty Bubai runs into the cornucopia and hides.

morceau oleader and J.T Hoofburger fight for a bag. J.T Hoofburger gives up and retreats.

hollis forsythe and Milka Phage fight for a bag. hollis forsythe gives up and retreats.

lili zanotto grabs a sword.

Maloof Canola retrieves a trident from inside the cornucopia. (OH SHIT)

Day 1

Chloe Barge dies from hunger. (GIRL YOU LITERALLY BROKE RAZ'S NOSE FOR A BASKET OF BREAD HOW DID THIS HAPPEN)

Elka Doom shoots a poisonous blow dart into hollis forsythe's neck, slowly killing her.

Chops Sweetwind, Mikhail Bulgakov, and augustus aquato get into a fight. Chops Sweetwind triumphantly kills them both. (you don't mess with the canadian)

morceau oleader overhears Nils Lutefisk and Dogen Boole talking in the distance.

dr caligosto loboto sprains his ankle while running away from Benny Fideleo.

Quentin Hedgemouse defeats milla vodello in a fight, but spares her life. (good boy)

Elton Fir tries to sleep through the entire day.

Crystal Flowers tends to Milka Phage's wounds. (aww that's actually really sweet)

ford crueller searches for firewood. (sm0rt old man)

Vernon Tripe, lili zanotto, Phoebe Love, and Maloof Canola hunt for other tributes.

Kitty Bubai tries to sleep through the entire day.

J.T Hoofburger practices his archery. (he gotta rest his gun for emergencies)

Clem Foote stalks raz aquato. (to cheer for him, right?)

Night 1

Quentin Hedgemouse stabs Benny Fideleo in the back with a trident.

Crystal Flowers falls into a frozen lake and drowns. (on purpose)

Kitty Bubai pushes morceau oleader off a cliff during a knife fight. (it's not hard with his tiny legs)

Nils Lutefisk starts a fire.

Clem Foote passes out from exhaustion.

J.T Hoofburger thinks about winning. (eyes on the prize, buddy)

dr caligosto loboto quietly hums.

Vernon Tripe cooks his food before putting his fire out. (sm0rt part 2)

Maloof Canola lets Elka Doom into his shelter.

Dogen Boole sees a fire, but stays hidden.

raz aquato, milla vodello, Chops Sweetwind, lili zanotto, and Elton Fir sleep in shifts. (STRATEGY)

ford crueller goes to sleep.

Milka Phage looks at the night sky.

Phoebe Love sets up camp for the night.

Day 2

dr caligosto loboto, Chops Sweetwind, Maloof Canola, and Vernon Tripe form a suicide pact, killing themselves. (WE'RE ONLY ON DAY TWO AND PEOPLE ARE ALREADY KILLING THEMSELVES-)

Phoebe Love practices her archery.

Kitty Bubai sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

J.T Hoofburger collects fruit from a tree.

ford crueller goes hunting.

lili zanotto, Quentin Hedgemouse, milla vodello, Nils Lutefisk, and Elka Doom hunt for other tributes.

raz aquato sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

Milka Phage, Elton Fir, Clem Foote, and Dogen Boole hunt for other tributes.

Night 2

lili zanotto pushes Quentin Hedgemouse off a cliff during a knife fight.

Phoebe Love sets an explosive off, killing Elton Fir, Nils Lutefisk, Kitty Bubai and J.T Hoofburger.

Milka Phage loses sight of where she is.

milla vodello stays awake all night.

Elka Doom stays awake all night.

Clem Foote and Dogen Boole tell stories about themselves to each other.

ford crueller and raz aquato run into each other and decide to truce for the night. (i mean you're basically his grand uncle at this point, SO YOU BETTER-)

Feast

ford crueller severely slices milla vodello with a sword. (JESUS)

Elka Doom stabs Clem Foote in the back with a trident.

Dogen Boole, lili zanotto, raz aquato, and Milka Phage form a suicide pact, killing themselves. (at least raz and lili died willingly, by eachother's side 🥺😭)

Phoebe Love takes a staff leaning against the cornucopia.

Day 3

Elka Doom shoots an arrow at Phoebe Love, but misses and kills ford crueller instead.

Night 3

Phoebe Love stabs Elka Doom while her back is turned.

The games have ended

💚The winner is Phoebe Love!💚

i know no one asked for another but i'm gonna keep posting thes because it's fun

#psychonauts #hunger games simulator

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chromegnomes · 1 year

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AI Art, or:

how I learned to start worrying and loathe the bot

As a writer and artist who initially saw promise in the technology, the current state of AI art (both visual and written) saddens and scares me.

My introduction to AI art wasn't the jeering tech grifters who champion it today. In early 2021 I followed AI Curio, a disabled nonbinary artist who was coding their own AI image generator to allow themself a form of artistic expression after losing the ability to draw. Their program, ZOEtrope, was a lovably janky and difficult-to-use Google Colab form--a far cry from the sleek interfaces of Dall-E and Midjourney.

The work that AI Curio produced with ZOEtrope was fascinating to me: barren hellscapes, impossible monsters, uncanny haloed human forms paired with handwritten lore. All of this was done for the love of art, with a strict anti-exploitation (and anti-crypto) code of ethics.

Sketches of the Next World

In March 2020, recently laid off due to the pandemic, I released Sketches of the Next World, a chapbook of erasure poetry about faith, doubt, and death, blacked out from the pages of Near Death Experience books. Sketches is held together by ten numbered "Sketch" poems which paint surreal and upsetting afterlife scenes, and I hope to eventually release a full-length version in which the Sketch poems are accompanied by actual sketches. So when I first encountered ZOEtrope, I thought I'd found the perfect medium: what better to pair with off-putting blackout poetry about heaven than sterile, off-putting AI heavenscapes?

Critics of AI art point out that the AI is not capable of generating anything consciously, but can only regurgitate what it thinks you want from a statistical average of existing art that it's been "trained" on. For me, this was the point! I saw, and still see, fascinating artistic potential in the conversation between human and machine, and the alienating strangeness of religious art produced by a robot with no concept of God or the soul.

This is, of course, not the primary or intended use case of AI image generation. The actions and intentions of the software's most prominent developers and cheerleaders have killed my hope for the medium's artistic potential.

Very few of its users are interested in creating capital-A Art that interrogates the medium itself; most tutorials and demonstrations of its power highlight its ability to mimic the glossy look of professional illustration to save time and money. But to this day, when I see someone say "AI art isn't art," my knee-jerk reaction is that they're half-wrong; an AI can't make "art," but a human operator could make art with it, if they wanted to. It just takes more effort and intention than typing "beautiful landscape busty woman by [artist name] trending on artstation."

I am not optimistic that AI Art will ever move past this point, however, especially as the increasingly loud and hostile attitude of its advocates chases off anyone who might be interested in using it from a place of artistic curiosity rather than a race to the bottom of “passive income” grifts.

“Good Enough” Machine Slop

When AI art started to break into the mainstream a bit more, at least on twitter, I thought that my fellow artists' fears of being replaced were overblown, and said as much. I'd been playing with ZOEtrope for a good while by then, and I knew it was FAR from easy to get good results out of it, and even then, the "good" results were always muddy and impressionistic, not up to the standards of professional illustration. Early DALL-E output didn't dissuade me from this stance; the startup bros who bragged that it would replace human artists were fully incapable of seeing the flaws in its output. I went out of my way to point out the jarring inconsistencies in DALL-E "art" wherever they popped up, and they were surprised every time. DALL-E Mini, apparently unrelated, only made me feel more vindicated in this by outputting 9 murky images that roughly approximated the input prompt, rather than one even passable piece.

Based on the shortcomings of the existing software, I predicted that AI art would blow over quickly as people realized that, without human intentionality, the programs would never be aware enough of what they're drawing to produce quality work. I predicted that we may be in for a few months to a year of companies pushing "good enough" AI art products before AI generation became, to consumers, a mark of corner-cutting and poor quality.

I'm still not certain I was wrong about that. Even as AI art becomes more saturated than I expected, the most advanced programs remain incapable of drawing hands, and their results become incomprehensible when asked to draw more than a simple landscape or portrait. But I underestimated three things:

The speed with which programs like DALL-E and Midjourney would become very easy to use for quick generation of passable (at a glance) outputs;

How mainstream and inescapable AI art and the surrounding discourse would become;

How demoralizing it would be to live through that predicted period of corporate devaluation of artists' labor.

Now, artists, if this next section angers you, please stick with me. I promise there's a BUT coming.

The Fetishization of “Effort”

Part of what has made this discourse so demoralizing is the vitriol and line-drawing that, backed into a corner with their livelihoods on the line, my fellow artists have been driven to. AI Curio, whom I consider one of the few "ethical" AI artists, has been chased off twitter by a constant stream of death threats, gory DMs, and doxxing, in what I can only see as a classic case of Trashed Bathrooms.

Beyond that (possibly isolated) instance, I keep seeing artists I respect reinventing definitions of "art" barely removed from far-right "degenerate art" talking points, or spinning up definitions of "art theft" adjacent to those of DMCA vultures or teens on deviantart complaining about "color palette theft." I’ve already seen plenty of takes that define art by the effort and skill required to produce it, going so far as to say that photography is not an art, rolling back decades of modern and postmodern art theory to make a desperate point.

I understand why. This is murky territory. The tech startups creating these programs are running roughshod over what was previously a kind of honor-system digital commons, with art shared freely under the assumption of good faith. Now, any art posted online is under threat of being taken to train a program to emulate your style for use by faceless suits who would like to use your art without compensation. Being taken advantage of in this way shatters trust. In the absence of preexisting progressive talking points against this kind of betrayal, people fall back on traditionalist ideas of art as "expressive of the human soul" or maximalist concepts of "intellectual property" that would make a Disney lawyer blush.

I don't want to make art in the world implied by these arguments. I love the public domain, I love the creative commons, I love the spirit of sharing that has previously flourished in so many artistic communities. If I could keep myself housed and fed in the process, I would give away every story and game I ever produce for free. And I don't think there's any way to define "theft" such that it includes "my drawing of an apple was part of a dataset used to train an AI to understand the concept of An Apple" without drawing hard fences around intellectual property in a way that benefits wealthy copyright abusers more than any living artist.

BUT.

I'm just not convinced that the way these programs use their data is meaningfully different from illicit tracing or uncredited photobashing.

Write Me a Story Like “The Call of Cthulhu”

In my opening paragraph, I mentioned that I had concerns not just about AI-generated images, but AI-generated writing as well. In addition to ZOEtrope, I've spent a decent amount of time playing with OpenAI's GPT-3 Playground. Initially, I just wanted in on the fad of making it write bespoke "greentexts" about silly topics, but eventually I started feeding it scraps of my poetry and unfinished novels.

The latter results were concerning. Its prose was both largely unrelated to my prompts and also a little TOO coherent, in a way that made me suspect it must be regurgitating large sections of existing works. To test this further, knowing that the full text of this story existed on the web and could easily be part of the AI's training data, I fed it the first few sentences of HP Lovecraft's "The Call of Cthulhu."

In response, it gave me the first paragraph of The Call of Cthulhu. Every time. No matter how I tweaked the output settings, it spat entire paragraphs of the story back out, and then refused to innovate. It either hit a dead end or gave me more Lovecraft, verbatim, a word or two changed at most. Disheartened, I looked up some of the funniest phrases from greentexts and tweets the bot had written me, and found that they were frequently also taken verbatim from other places on the web.

I stopped playing with GPT-3 after that. I'd hoped to use it for the same purpose as AI-generated visual art, a curated conversation between human and machine, and now I couldn't trust that anything it "created" would be mine to use. I feared that the same problem may arise with visual AI art as well, and tentatively stopped using it.

“Everyone Copies”

Proponents of AI art love to claim that it doesn’t steal art, because it doesn’t “store” the images it’s trained on. What does this mean, really? The machine analyzes images to “learn” what certain objects look like, and then recreates something like that when prompted, but what data is kept in this “knowledge”? Even a JPG is ultimately just a set of code that tells a computer how to assemble an image. Given how closely many AI images resemble specific existing artworks and photographs, there is clearly data retained which is referenced when the AI creates its version. Even in my own experiments, which I consciously limited to public domain training data, I saw bits and pieces of classic paintings.

At this point, defenders will claim that “all art is inspired by and references other art.” This comparison is fundamentally in bad faith. Machine learning algorithms are not “inspired” in the same way a human artist is, and saying as much requires anthropomorphizing a bundle of code that was produced by a human programmer with the purpose of analyzing and recreating artwork, with no will of its own. The process may be infinitely more complex than copying and pasting, but in both cases, an image is broken down into code and then reconstructed with no human intentionality involved.

Even if that anthropomorphism is granted, humans are fully capable of plagiarism that goes beyond “inspiration.” Human artists, driven by envy, laziness, or tight deadlines, often trace others’ artwork, and are only caught when telltale signs of the original remain in the new work, the same as AI. “Everyone copies” does not end the conversation--the degree and manner of copying are all-important.

I am not a machine learning expert. Right now, I have seen enough AI-generated text and artwork which retains recognizable chunks of its source material to know that these programs absolutely do plagiarize. It may be possible that, in the future, they will become advanced enough to “understand” the objects they draw more independently of their source images.

Even in this hypothetical future, I have come to believe that this technology has more bad applications than good.

Maximally Efficient C O N T E N T Production

The Ammaar Reshi thread, which I linked earlier, is emblematic of a massive problem: the ease with which AI art algorithms generate okay-ish work leads to a frenzied drive to create glitzy pictures that serve no purpose other than hopefully snaring a buyer. Portfolio websites are currently completely overloaded with AI generated “artwork,” with hundreds of people creating thousands of images with the hope of impressing, well, whom exactly? The current gold rush feels similar to the NFT bubble, with “passive income” enthusiasts thrilled at the prospect of automatic content generation without a pause to ask what market may actually exist for automated content. The only plausible buyer of a book written by an AI is a mark who doesn’t realize what they’ve purchased.

The other obvious use case for this technology is, of course, cutting human artists out of the grunt work which currently provides the bulk of their pay. I had thought that the poor quality of most AI artwork might prevent this outcome, which was why I believed that fear over lost jobs was overblown; however, this has apparently not stopped publishers like Tor from using AI artwork on the covers for some of their biggest authors, even when said artwork has massive flaws which require human correction.

In a better world, this might be exciting, freeing artists to work on their own projects rather than working for hire. The fact that we live in a world where any industry becoming automated is a threat rather than a relief is one of the great tragedies of the last few centuries. I, personally, have pursued freelance work because I need to make art, but the present economy makes finding the time to pursue my craft impossible unless I am paid for it.

I do not expect non-artists to care about this. Most people are indifferent, a few recognize the danger but see it as inevitable, and a very vocal minority is giddy at the thought of artists being “put in their place” for daring to expect compensation for their labor. I do not believe that human artists being replaced by AI is inevitable, but I do not expect it to be stopped by goodwill toward artists.

Conclusion

My only hope is the fact that, from what I can see, normal people DO see businesses using AI art as lazy corner-cutting. Consumer demand for pretty pictures may drive the AI art boom, but consumers of all kinds are generally hypercritical of anything that smacks of laziness, justified or otherwise. Outside of art twitter and Midjourney hype threads, most people seem to regard claims to have “created” art using AI prompts as tantamount to lying.

So I hope that the AI Content Ouroboros will fully swallow its own tail before it irreparably damages the art industry. In the meantime, I would like to never have to hear about it again, but the algorithms of every website I use are intent on forcing it upon me--more reason to hate algorithms.

#the final count here is 2461 words #i hope getting this out of my head will set me free

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absolutely-not-my-main-blog · 11 months

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My internet provider was straight up playing me before because it took 3 hours to download the ep last week and with the new internet, 20 minutes this week, so anyway I took random notes while watching and just gonna post a couple of them in one hit before scrolling my dash:

1. “Anybody can get a guy to bang them once.” Oh, can they, Dennis? Can they?? Sounds like a man speaking from experience, huh.

2. Jack to Charlie regarding “play dates” together and him saying “You don’t remember,” oh that hurts my heart, Charlie having to repress memories of him. And then the extra creep factor with the fucking ice cream truck, good lord, I’m starting to think Jack murder is more and more possible this season.

3. “Don’t mind my friend, he’s schizophrenic.” “I am, yeah.” I know it’s like a joke here, but I like schizotypal Charlie headcanon so I choose to see this as a win. (Spider in my ear vibes though <3)

4. Dee and Mac asking “why” and “how come” Dennis has a system to get men and him shhing them, oh yeah it’s all coming together, he’s used this system fr, and the truth and something else is gonna come out, baby.

5. Love The Waitress is Getting Married vibes from Dennis helping Mac and Dee on their dates the way they tried to help Charlie.

6. Girl, how did Dennis get that bottle open over that guy, this man lives off of beer and air, he’s a weak, frail Victorian maiden who would absolutely get Mac to open jars in their apartment constantly.

7. MOMMY ISSUES DENNIS REAL. Okay so we’re all in agreement we’re gonna transport Den “back to a time when he was a snot nosed little bitch who depended on the most important person in his life for absolutely everything, the person who inflated his ego, who made him feel powerful but also powerless, the person whose validation he’s been seeking his entire life.” I’m SCREAMING. “The way to make a guy fall in love with you is to make him feel like you are his mommy.” GIRL, WHAT THE FUCK, Freud would like a word, I could write a whole essay on this scene alone, but I’m sure someone else already has, but oh my god they’re bringing up how Barbara’s influence really messed with him, inflating his ego, making him the golden child and holding him up to these perfect standards, but he’s trying to maintain that perfection even after she’s gone and realizing he can’t, making him powerless. He just wants the illusion of power! he doesn’t want to have to work for it this much. Head buzzing with incoherent thoughts but there are thoughts here I may come back to just aaahh.

8. On another note, I really liked their acting in this one, especially the S.I.N.N.E.D. scene, their deliveries were all great, they seemed to be having fun and it was sooo cute.

9. A boy in love with Johnny so he can’t be with anyone else, but Dennis is Johnny, Dennis catfish real, Dennis controlling anal beads real, what fever dream is this fucking episode, a boy in love with Johnny, Johnny dennis Dennis Johnny, I’m losing my mind.

10. “I’m Dennis, I’ve always been Dennis” and Ireland’s “You’re you, you’ve always been you” parallels and Mac’s need for solid and clear labels of identity, but Dennis’ continually vague notion of his own self, and Mac remaining completely clueless this whole season, not seeing what’s right in front of him, the blowing jokes, Dennis and his system for men, Dennis is Johnny, while Dennis is starting to realize maybe what he wants and continuously gets more aware, and it leads to mental health day, aaah idk!! So much!

11. I love how everyone was deep dive analyzing the Frank Dennis scene and it was just him telling him he got anal beads in his ass 😭

12. The chess opponent looks a lil like Donald to me.

13. Full ass blast 😭 I hate how this show makes me insane regardless of that.

#iasip #text #sunny sweet 16 #frank vs russia #s16 spoilers #anmmbposts #iasip spoilers

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basedkikuenjoyer · 11 months

Text

Crack an Egg

Wano does something weird to us. It teases a sensible but solid undertone, plays it up in a big way at the end...then just leaves off with a lot unresolved. Enough a lot of people were confused or angry. If you ask me, it wasn’t out of the realm of what I was expecting. We just kinda ended the “play” going on. It’s hard to overstate just how much that beat with Kiku/Yamato around the Ryokugyu fight was exactly what I was looking for when Kiku was still bleeding out in the attic. Even without dredging up that theme of caste from Bakura Town & Urashima to make it a bookend. Kiku’s already had enough of dealing with that for a lifetime, Kaido’s gone now so it’s time for Wano to confront it’s pre-existing darkness.

Still, we sail away, not really checking back in on the girl with so much potential. The one Luffy adored and who’s left with no clear place in Wano. Maybe there’s a couple blink and you miss it panels with someone extra on the ship, maybe not. Either way, didn’t take long for Egghead to show it’ll fill these gaps. Showing it can happen and loading up Drake’s report as a Chekov’s Gun is all you ever actually needed. We’ve had a lot more though to bring that undertone of Wano to the forefront. Stussy, Bonney, York, and so much more. So let’s get to the heart of the matter, who cares? Why would an author extend it out like that? Aren’t you just being silly? Maybe, but two things spring to mind:

1. End of Wano we still haven’t fully worked #9 into the crew. We have seen Jinbei doing that so far in this leg of Egghead. The type of twist we’re talking about does work just fine halfway into the next story, the point was it was unassuming and didn’t need to be spoken. Actress is going to hang out off stage until the right time. It’d also be a repeat of Robin to just reveal it as we left.

2. We...did have that hiatus and an author who both said he had to rewrite parts and has bemoaned feeling like authors are “slaves to their readers” around that time. The original idea was popping Yamato’s bubble to tease out why Kiku was more rock solid. Hollow mass appeal vs. a stone cold classic archetype that’s fallen out of favor. That mass appeal was still white hot to the point a lot of people just plain missed half his story. Yama was starting to lose steam, if it happened a little faster it would have worked...but maybe we did need to let the backlash burn out before showing the full purpose of the foil.

So Egghead. It does have some solid plot and thematic ties keeping the core threads in use. York became a fantastic foil then we pulled away. Since we haven’t gotten back there after leaving what I said then is only stronger today thanks to Sai & Leo. This is a great chance for the Grand Fleet to have their fated moment. The timing is favorable if they had ten days after the raid. Not that you necessarily need it, but if you had an unassuming quartermaster waiting in the wings coordinating that is a great excuse. Organizing 5000+ mooks is perfect for that role!

But there are options. I think using the day/night themes again and cutting back to a spooky, decaying, hostile lab as the situation gets worse is an angle with a ton of potential. And it’s naturally the type of thing that a newbie can bail the rest out for a statement. What’s awesome about the whole unassuming element and how it could have been an unspoken agreement way earlier in Wano than you may think...the excuse for not seeing you could be let’s say comically weak. Didn’t like the Egghead lab suits. Chronic seasickness. Been taking the night shift because you’re still processing. It’s not really that big of a plot hurdle.

That said, we’ve spent about six chapters away from Egghead now. Part 3 of a kishotenketsu structure should be a jarring break, a dramatic shift. Seen other cool people say it and I was wondering too. Is this our ten? That can work here too. But it’d be using the entire arc. We don’t see the Egghead Incident unfold real time, but find out about it as these side stories do. Cycle through them again, this time resolving the stories. Then cycle one more time, showing each one reacting to the news. Revos get the paper, SWORD finally gets Drake’s report, Marco drops some hints...then your ketsu is the “how we got here flashback.” Say, after cutting to Egghead the next day with the Grand Fleet already there and a defeated Kizaru.

#one piece #post-wano musings

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misiwrites · 1 year

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Mayblade Day 11

CHAPTER 11 prompt: music characters: hiromi, emily, mao, ayaka, julia, mathilda (+ salima, zeo, ming-ming, kyouju, giancarlo, mentions of others) pairings: --- (there's something implied here tho)

Hiromi had never been to a live concert, neither a classic nor a rock one. Today, she would have had the opportunity to see both; the school gym had been turned into a concert venue, and after the bake sale was over, the music performance part of the event began.

Hiromi got help from Salima and another student council member to take her stall apart, then went to change back into her own clothes in the bathrooms. She took such a long time wriggling out of the dress, regretting not asking for help with that as well, that she ended up missing the classic half of the concert – the part meant to lure in the students’ parents and other regular folk and fill the cash jars up just a little further. Hiromi knew that her classmate Zeo played the violin in the concert, the rest she wasn’t familiar with. She caught the very end of his performance before it was over.

And then, the fun part began. As Hiromi remained hanging around the gym entrance, a team of volunteers started clearing the gym floor of chairs and setting up stage lights in the front. It was the band club’s turn.

“Have you gone check them out yet?” asked Emily who pounced at her from behind.

“The band club?” Hiromi asked.

“Yeah.”

“No, I haven’t. Do you know someone who’s in it?”

“I do know them, but I don’t know know them. The singer, Ming-Ming, is a friend of Garland and Brooklyn.”

In thirty minutes’ time, the gym had been transformed into a night club. They’d somehow even set up a bar – for non-alcoholic drinks only, obviously, though it was a well-known secret that students would always smuggle their own booze in anyway.

Another thirty minutes and the place was chock-full of students, jamming it to the all-female band playing their pop rock songs. It wasn’t bad, but not the kind of music Hiromi usually listened to. As a backdrop for hanging out with friends and forgetting all about the nauseating encounter with the photographer boy, though, it was perfect.

“She looks like a first-year but I've never seen her before!” she shouted at Emily over the music and general hubbub, eyes on the stage.

“You mean Ming-Ming?” Emily bellowed back. “No, she’s from 2-B! She’s in the same class with Steve and the rest!”

“Whaaat?!” Hiromi could have sworn that the cute, blue-haired singer looked fifteen years old, tops. In fact, she didn’t look like a high schooler at all.

While giving Ming-Ming a critical assessment with this new information, she also noticed a familiar looking, albeit very small, figure right below the stage doing what she could only accurately describe as fucking losing it. It was Professor. He was wearing some kind of fanboy headband and aggressively waved light blue penlights in both hands. She decided to pretend she didn’t recognize him.

A moment later, Hiromi and Emily were joined by Mao and Ayaka who were both carrying two drinks, one set of extra for their friends to share. “Hey, good job with the bake sale today!” Mao told Hiromi and handed her a pink mocktail with a strawberry floating on top. “You were the cutest maid, no competition!”

They retreated to sit at the bleachers, far enough from the stage that they could somewhat feasibly hold a conversation. It felt nice, having a group of friends to just hang out and talk with, a drink in hand.

Salima was missing, though. Hiromi hadn’t seen her after dismantling the stall with her and by now the gym was too full of people, too dim and noisy and bustling for her to pinpoint a single person in there. It was a bummer, though; Salima would have deserved some fun time off.

She decided to voice her thoughts. The others hummed in agreement, but there was an awkward sort of lull afterwards. Nobody dared speculate Salima’s possible absence, why she’d perhaps left home already, all alone.

“I wonder if she’ll be coming to the party,” Mao pondered, lazily jamming to whatever Ming-Ming’s band was playing in the background. Then, as if a light bulb had just gone off above her head, her golden eyes lit up and darted at Hiromi. “Hey, you should come too!”

The drinking straw slipped out of Hiromi’s mouth. “Wha, where?”

“Julia is throwing a party in a couple of weeks. It’s gonna be fun, you should totally come!”

“Julia?” The fact that she was being invited to the party of someone she didn’t even know was confusing, frightening, and kind of flattering all at once. She hadn’t been invited anywhere since someone’s birthday in elementary school.

“Julia Fernandez. She’s in 2-A.”

She was being invited to the party of a second-year she didn’t know?

“Look, that’s her,” Ayaka added and pointed somewhere behind Hiromi’s shoulder. Hiromi turned just in time to witness a very pretty, very stylish girl with long, flowy hair of strawberry blonde and cocoa brown who was being approached by the same fair-haired clown of a gentleman who’d terrorized the vendor stalls earlier; and, just as she realized that the girl was one of the people she’d seen performing circus tricks with her twin lookalike, she punched the Casanova guy right in the nose and sent him flying across the gym-gone-dancefloor. The crowd retreated with a gasp, then erupted into joyous laughter and applause.

“Classic Julia!” Mao said cheerfully and clapped with the rest. Then she raised her hand and waved, beckoning this femme fatale to join their little circle by the bleachers.

And Julia did. She was followed by the girl from 1-B whom Hiromi had also already met earlier that day, Mathilda. Mao didn’t waste any time to go ahead and introduce Hiromi to them as “Aya’s classmate” and, apparently, choosing this was enough of a reason to invite her to Julia’s house party. This second-year girl was obviously good friends with her juniors, as she didn’t mind the suggestion at all. Just like that, Hiromi had been invited to her life's first house party.

“You were 1-A’s vendor, weren’t you?” Mathilda then asked Hiromi with a shy, friendly smile. She seemed like a very sweet girl.

“I was!”

“Did you have fun doing it? The outfit suited you really well.”

Hiromi replied an affirmative, saying she greatly enjoyed the job. “Thank you. I was surprised how well it suited Max as well, I couldn’t have guessed. To be honest, I thought you’d be the 1-B vendor, Mathilda.”

“He wanted to keep it a secret until the last moment,” she said and giggled. “It’s so like him. Max loves shocking people.”

“Are you friends with him? He seems like the kind of guy who gets along with everyone.”

“Mm… Well, it’s like you say, I think everyone is friends with him… but I wouldn’t say I know him exactly.” Mathilda turned to look at Mao for support. “Everyone in our class is pretty close, but…”

“Yeah, like, we don’t really know him outside school. Doesn’t he live right next to you, though, Em?” Mao followed by turning to Emily who, to Hiromi’s mild surprise, was sipping her orange mocktail with a sour expression; Emily hadn’t uttered a single word over this exchange.

“Sometimes,” she said bluntly.

“Ah, right. He’s got two homes – divorced parents and stuff.” Mao took a sip of her own drink, another pink one but a hue darker than Hiromi’s. “His little puppy crush got kind of famous in our class, maybe that’s why it feels like we know him better than we actually do.”

Hiromi pricked her ears at this remark. Now they were approaching the territory she truthfully was feeling her curiosity growing towards. “I was wondering about that,” she began, choosing her words carefully. “Do you know if he’s, uh… you know… interested in guys?”

Her question earned a round of chuckles from Mao, Mathilda, and Ayaka. Even Julia, who was browsing her phone, was grinning a little through her dark lipstick.

“Because he wanted to wear a dress? No no no,” said Mao and whisked her hand. “I mean – well, I guess he could also be? But I doubt anything tops that crush he’s got going for Mariam.”

Hiromi’s eyebrows shot up. Mariam? Another new name out of nowhere. “But… But he…” Oh, there was no way of expressing the way she’d seen him act today without sounding totally deranged to the other girls. Not to mention, she had thought Max was interested in the boy who obviously was Mao’s close friend, maybe even boyfriend… and now she was beginning to feel like she’d stumbled upon some weird polycule situation that, frankly, was none of her business.

“And Mariam couldn’t give a rat’s ass about some first-year,” Emily then retorted. She was being weirdly off-putting today; she appeared to be staring daggers at her glass, aggressively stirring the straw in the remainders of her drink. “What an idiot.”

“Ugh, I broke a nail thanks to that Don Juan,” grumbled Julia, surveying the condition of her fingers. “And I literally put them on a minute ago.”

And just like that, the topic of Max was forgotten. The rest moved on while Hiromi slouched a little and got lost in her thoughts, wondering what this all was about.

#mayblade #mayblade 2023 #my writing #fic update

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satancopilotsmytardis · 10 months

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7, 9, and 17!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

I like just being able to make something entirely with words! Whole worlds, histories, feelings! Just made out of strings of letters. I have always been a person who like making things, so writing is a wonderful way of doing so for me.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

I believe that the energy of living things must be changed in some fundamental way when it leaves the body and I believe that people may not fully understand that process. (I have no fucking clue but sometimes places do be 'spooky' in strange imperceptible ways and I'm open to the possibility that ghosts are the cause.)

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

I have. NINE current WIPS. Thankfully I can group up a good number of them.

I have a bunch of installments in the Mishap series that I'm working on which while looking like nothing more than PWPs, are actually a fun way of exploring emotional intimacy as much as physical intimacy because one of my favorite things to do is discuss the idea of BDSM as a way of exploring vulnerabilities that it might be uncomfortable or frightening to do in other settings.

There's also Bonded, which I am really struggling with. I started writing the series just because I was having fun playing with a lot of silly ideas, but Shattered is much more serious in tone and while I usually love that, and I have a full outline of Shattered as well as outlines for the next two installments as well, I just haven't found the joy in it that I did in the beginning. I really like how chapter 6 wraps up, and it's been torture trying to move on to chapter 7. I don't know when I'll get over that hump, but it's been 3 months and I still haven't managed it yet.

Tumblr prompts, going well enough. Taking this as an opportunity to just write fast(ish) snippets. I often really want to linger and show how relationships develop thoroughly because (and especially with ShigaDabiHawks) I need a believable progression to show how those character could have possibly ended up together when they're at odds with each other's goals. However, for these I'm just going ham and that's a nice little change of pace.

Stalling out on the original piece (shigadabi with the serial numbers filed off because I wanted to use an original fantasy setting I've used for other OC work). Having trouble balancing how to progress the plot without losing the spark between the two characters after a... disagreement.

The Hanahaki piece is my fucking baby right now. Feeling as good about this one as I did about Honeytrap and Grey Area. It's so achingly tender and I love it to absolute bits. I have one area that I'm still trying to make a decision on and thought that the tumblr prompts would be a good way to step back and give it some breathing room after banging out 27k for it in two days. I'm very excited about this one.

And last but not least, the Time Travel fic! I'm enjoying this one too but I'm thinking about it logistically right now and trying to decide if I'm going to make it a multi-chapter or not. I usually don't like to do that because I write very differently for a multi-chap than I do for a one-shot and I much prefer the style of writing for an insanely long one-shot than a multi-chap (yes this may be why Shattered is fucking me up so badly, also why I really hated Playing Favorites by the end), but I'm not sure if it would be too jarring to go from Hawks' POV to Dabi's after minimum of 12K in Hawks' POV, but I need some scenes to be from Dabi's so eeehhhh. I'll figure it out. I like this one, alternate timelines are always fun to play around with and the butterfly effect here is so fucking strong.

I think I'm going to be finishing the Tumblr prompts before going back to the Hanahaki fic, but we'll see! And this is all dependent on me not starting any more pieces in the meantime. Which. Oof.

Thanks for asking!

#tanco speaks #ask #asks #writer ask game

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obito76 · 1 year

Text

[Closet Secrets]

Chapter 9 : Christmas Surprise

You can read my full work here on AO3.

---

They all began heading in, wet and tired, but happy. Surprisingly Starfire was just finishing up with dinner, Jason was helping to get things to the table.

“All of you do the drying off and ready for the family dinner!” she called.

Dick did a quick drying session. He didn’t want to take the time for an actual change of clothes. All he wanted was to catch hold of Raven and pull her into an empty bedroom, hopefully for a lot more than just a talk. Unfortunately, Bumblebee had dragged her away up to her room before he could come near her. All the Titans were here for Christmas.

How the bloody hell she knows exactly how to take advantage of his weak points? He was achingly turned on and had no idea if she meant anything by it or if she had just been that determined to win the game they were playing. The girl had a competitive streak when it comes to this, but surely she wouldn’t have moved against him that way if she hadn’t been interested in more. Would she?

Dammit. She was so much gorgeous and Dick had just never got enough time to give her from past few days. She was insanely intelligent, a complete bookworm, and she was absolutely beautiful. That was the extent of his knowledge. Until he and her started hooking up behind Starfire's back a year ago.

He groaned quietly, thinking about earlier. Her lips and tongue had been driving him wild. The feel of her curves pushed up against him both by their lovely hug at the beginning and then with her under him in the snow. The heat between them should have melted all the snow around them. But maybe it hadn’t made her so hot? Fuck, what if he was the only one losing his mind over this?

Dick was jarred out of his thoughts by his wife calling them all to Christmas Eve dinner. Perhaps he could observe Raven while they ate and get a feel for how she felt toward him. He was good at reading people, he was their leader after all. He headed for the kitchen and was pleased that he managed to sit down directly across from her, where she was squeezed between Aqualad and Roy. Gar was next to Dick, intent on catching up while he had the chance.

The mood around the table was uproarious as always, conversations loud and often interrupted. There was much teasing and laughter. Dick joined in some, of course, but he mostly let it wash over him. He also did his best to watch the girl across the table from him without getting caught. Once, her eyes met his, he let himself stare a moment too long. He felt the blush sweep over him as he darted his eyes away to act interested in whatever Gar was talking about. Usually he hung on changling's words, even now, but today he just couldn’t bring himself to listen properly.

Raven was busy laughing and talking with Karen and Jinx. She clearly understood the dynamics of the Titans table well, as she also jumped seamlessly in and out of the conversation with Gar and sometimes with Aqualad. Dick was brought back from his observation of her by Gar clearing his throat next to him.

“So, tell me how things are going with those new recruits,” he led in, encouraging Dick to participate in conversation.

He was halfway through a story about switching new members from one to another when he felt something touch his leg and move lightly upward. He shifted, thinking someone had touched him by accident.

Vic was laughing at the way Gar had reacted to that new found information. “How long did it take them to stop fighting and actually work as a team?”

That started a whole new story, but only moments passed before he felt something again. This time it was very obvious that it was there on purpose. Toes stroked the inside of his knees, moving closer to his body with firm pressure. Dick’s words faltered and the foot stopped moving, but rested on his thigh. He glanced across the table, his eyes wide. Raven was deeply engaged in a conversation with Starfire about Glark-knof, whatever that was. She didn’t seem to be aware that he was looking at her. She certainly didn’t look like she had her foot in his lap.

Roy nudged him, “Dick? You were saying the Justice League didn’t like the way they were behaving?”

“Oh. Yeah,” Dick replied, taking a deep breath and launching back into the story. The foot was moving again within seconds. His eyes flickered to Raven, but she was paying no attention to him, arguing down the table with Wally about his manners. But it had to be her; he knew, no one was bold enough like her. Dick’s cock was growing rapidly as the foot inched closer.

When the contact was made, he sucked in air through his teeth and dropped his napkin on the floor. As he bent to pick it up, he could confirm the dainty foot was hers. Seeing it rubbing against him – because she definitely didn’t stop just because he was looking – only made him harder. He scooted his chair in closer to the table as he straightened, giving her better access. He looked back over at her, but she was now talking to Karen about something Ministry related. Dick couldn’t focus enough to tell what. Her toes began to explore, roving up and down his hard length.

He knew his face had to be red. That no one had commented yet in this group of busybodies was a bloody miracle. Dick was conflicted. He certainly didn’t want her to stop, but was sure someone would notice. He couldn’t think or engage with anyone. Gar was saying something to him, wanting him to finish his story perhaps. Dick couldn’t remember what kind of talk he had been talking about much less the specific story he had been in the middle of. Fuck. Wasn’t that little bookworm supposed to be wait till everyone settled down? He was sure he remembered him saying that to her yesterday.

Now he had to bite back his own whining. If they hadn’t been surrounded by his friends and family, Dick would have begged her to come straddle his lap. Immediately, before he came in his pants. Oh fuck. He was going to cum in his pants, In the middle of Christmas dinner. Short of pushing her foot off him, there was no avoiding it. Her heel was resting against the bottom of his shaft, her whole foot applying pressure to the length while her toes wriggled around the head, pushing and squeezing. He couldn’t say that foot play was something he was into usually, but the danger of being caught and just the pure shock of it had him on the edge. He absolutely didn’t want to push her away.

“Dick?” she said his name as a question and he realized it wasn’t the first time she had said it. Vic was looking rather exasperated beside him. Raven quirked an eyebrow at him. “You seem to be thinking pretty hard,” she practically purred.

“Yeah, it’s.. just, I’ve just been so busy at the training lately,” he managed to get out without gasping. Her foot was moving faster. “Haven’t had time for much else lately and..” This time he couldn’t hide his ragged breathing. Fuck, he was about to explode and he had never been quiet about it in his life.

She fucking knew that.

“She was asking, if you remember the way that one trainee moaned when he fell,” Barbara who just stepped into the kitchen said seriously, giving him an odd look. “Of course Starfire probably won’t appreciate it much if you go all training mode on them.”

Sweet fuck she was giving him a way to let go. Barbara was right that Starfire would be irritated, but he really couldn’t help it. He was seconds from release. “Yeah, he moaned like…” and he let out a moan as he came so hard it would have shot over the table if he hadn’t been fully clothed.

“Husband Dick!” his Starfire said, clutching her heart, “That's sound not good, is he alright?”

Dick couldn’t breathe well enough yet to answer. Her foot was still in his lap, resting comfortably against his now-spent dick.

“Come now, Star,” Gar said, “He spends all his time with Batman. That’s how he talks now.” Everyone laughed.

“It’s my fault really, Gar,” Raven said sweetly. “I was asking him he remembers the way he moaned, it was rather funny.”

Starfire nodded and smiled, “Friend Raven, I must admit it was funny but I found it painful too.” she directed the last back to him, only slightly worried.

“Yeah, Star,” he managed, cheeks burning.

He heard Jason muttered next to him. “You might want to clean yourself before you leave the table.”

Dick felt his eyes go round as he looked over at Jason. He took the advice, taking a napkin to wipe away all evidence of the encounter, but he couldn’t figure out what in the world to say.

“Bet you don't want your wife to see right?,” Jason said whispering, not holding back a smirk. Had that asshole knew what was going on the whole time? He tried to recount the conversation but realized he hadn’t been paying enough attention to it in the moment to be able to tell if he had known at the time.

Dick looked up to see how embarrassed Raven was, but she was making eye contact with Jason and her eyes were hungry with a playful smirk on her lips. Her indigo eyes turned to meet his and he felt himself twitching back to life already.

He blushed even harder as he quietly said, “You better keep your mouth shut todd.”

Her eyes sparkled for a moment. She lifted her glass and tilted it at him. “To new experiences this Christmas.”

Did that mean this wasn’t the last new encounter they were going to have today? God, he wanted to touch her. Her foot left his lap, toes running along his hardening cock as she pulled away. Dick felt bereft, a sudden fear that she was done with him shooting through his consciousness. She turned away, engaging back in conversation with Jinx as though Dick weren’t sitting there still trying to remember how to breathe normally.

“So,” Jason said conversationally, “think you can focus enough now to finish that story huh, Dickie boy?”

---

Raven was quite pleased with herself. Touching Dick under the table, when he couldn’t react but couldn’t hold back, had been so powerful. She definitely had his attention. She felt his eyes following her wherever she went. It had become a game to sneak away from him and watch as he half-panicked that she might have left. She wasn’t usually this cruel to men she was interested in. Of course, she wasn’t always so confident with men she was interested in either.

Something about Dick, though…. He was wild and worldly, mischievous and well-mannered, intelligent and physically fit. He was actually everything she would want in an actual partner, but with his dumb wife as his life partner, she could be very happy with a fun physical arrangement instead. Maybe it was the risk level that was making her so bold.

Raven smirked, to her surprise Jason knew what was happening under the table, but interestingly, he just glanced at her and smirked,

And his smirk definitely caught her interest...

She was on her way into the sitting room with her tea from the kitchen when she felt a strong arm snatch her around the waist. She looked up into Dick’s eyes. There was so much heat in them she was surprised there wasn’t actual smoke. Now, however, irritation and bewilderment flashed through and distracted him as he tugged at her, trying to move the two of them out of the doorway.

“Sorry, bird boy,” Karen laughed, appearing suddenly, clearly not sorry at all. “It appears you have been caught by our classic Christmas decor product – Roving Mistletoe. Nothing for it, hun. You’ll need to give the lady a kiss.”

“An impressive one, I imagine,” Jinx added, not so innocently, who was standing beside her. “It senses interest.”

They both blushed. Raven knew they had plenty of interest, but she might have preferred not to explore it when their entire friend circle was present in the house. Then again, she didn’t really have room to complain. That thought nearly made her giggle until she looked up into Dick’s smouldering eyes and her breath caught.

He leaned down, hands gripping her waist, and brought his lips gently to hers. She could feel him shaking and realized she was, too. It felt so good to touch him, but holding back to keep from making a scene was taking all her willpower. She wanted to climb the man like a tree. Instead, he let her go after a moment, the kiss barely even including a brush of their tongues.

They still couldn’t move. Karen and Jinx were leaning on each other with laughter. “So sorry. That kiss didn’t match your interest.” Jinx’s tone was suggestive.

Karen snorted. “We may need to remove the innocents if their kiss has to match that.”

From the nods around the room, the intensity between them had been noticeable. Only Starfire who was there with Karen and Jinx seemed genuinely bewildered. “Husband Dick and Friend Raven!?” she squawked. “What?”

“It's a tradition Star” Dick said.

Starfire smiled. “It’s really quite late. I think we should head to the bed. Please friend Karen and friend Jinx make yourself home.”

There was grumbling – both about going to bed so early and missing the show. Raven sunk her heated face into Dick’s chest as soon as his wife left. She was very ready for alone time with him, but a bit mortified the entire house was there. Karen herded the three of them up to the stairs. “Have fun!” Jinx teased called to the two of them before they heard her bedroom door close.

Dick’s chest rumbled with laughter against her cheek. “You know she’s planning something now,” he groaned. “This is your fault,” he added playfully.

“I hadn’t heard you complaining.”

“Oh, I’m not.” His voice was husky already, eyes dark and hooded.

Before Raven could think up a clever response, he was moving his lips toward her and she leaned up and crashed their lips together and tried to devour one another. Their tongues danced and rolled around each other while he nipped and sucked at her lower lip. They nearly fell when the mistletoe released its hold, Dick catching them and moving her against the wall for support.

He leaned back for just a moment. Whispering a silencing spell, she wordlessly cast the contraceptive spell too. They were both gasping for air as they looked at each other.

“Are we really doing this right here?” he asked.

“It’s not like anyone in the house will know what we’re up to,” she giggled. “We even have your dumb wife’s blessing.”

He gave her a full laugh. “Somehow I don’t think shagging under the mistletoe in the doorway was quite what she had in mind.”

“Fortunately, she’s not out here to decide what we’re going to do,” she purred.

“As I recall,” he rumbled, “Opinion wasn’t really considered when they were all around anyway.”

In the dark of the hallway, he could see her blush slightly as she grinned. “I thought it might get your attention.”

“Oh, you already had my attention by then, Raven.”

“Well, a nice bit of insurance then,” she said, “To be sure I kept it.”

He gave her a lopsided smile that melted something inside her. “I don’t think I’ll ever look at you with less than rapt attention again. But, I’m not sure you have a reason yet to pay attention to me.”

“I’ve always,” Raven paused, realizing she had almost revealed far more about her interest in him over the last year than she had meant to, “Found those muscles worthy of attention.”

She wasn’t sure what the momentary flash in his eyes meant, but his easy laugh soothed away her questions. “I’m glad you enjoy looking, but I want your attention on what I can do to you, too.”

Raven liked the sound of that. Even more, she liked the feel of his soft curls as she ran her fingers through them and leaned in to kiss him again. He gave back willingly, bringing his lips hard against hers. She only gave a tiny grunt of complaint when he pulled her left hand away from his hair and gently pressed it up against the doorway above her head.

“What?” she gasped suddenly as she realized that her hand was stuck there.

“Calm yourself,” he soothed, “You’re going to like this.” His voice was warm and confident.

“What if I don’t?”

“I will stop any time you want me to, no questions asked, beautiful.” He kissed her slowly. When they broke apart, Raven felt like there was a puddle between her legs. “But give me a chance to knock you off your feet.” He paused and waited until she nodded before moving her right hand to the other side of the door, sticking it above her so that her arms were spread across the doorway.

Dick stepped back and looked up and down her body appraisingly. “You have entirely too much on,” he commented. His fingers were steady as he began unbuttoning her blouse, his calloused fingers making her shiver as they brushed inside each newly opened section. He was so gentle as he came to the bottom of the shirt, the open strip revealing her entire torso, her breasts straining the lacy bra she was wearing.

“Lacy black, I like it,” he said with a smile. “But it’s really unnecessary. Raven.” Her bra was gone, leaving her full breasts on display, the nipples dark and hard with her arousal.

Raven gasped. “That was my favorite bra, you asshole!”

“I’ll buy you another one. Later.”

She tried to look irritated with him, but then his mouth was on her and she couldn’t focus enough to pretend. Dick started at her neck, nudging her shirt further off her shoulders, but still hanging there, as he went. His lips sucked at her, his teeth grazing her skin. When she shuddered and squealed breathily, he gave a dark laugh.

“Seems this is a distracting spot for you, too, hmmm,” he whispered. Between nibbles mumbled the words, “How did...you...know...my neck...is...my...weakness?”

“We have been having sex for a while now Dick.” Raven gasped as he swirled his tongue on her pulse point, “I know what my man likes, Was worth though. I wanted to..to taste you.”

“Oh, you can taste me as much as you want, but not until I’ve gotten my fill of tasting you.” He had raised up to stare into her eyes as his hands reached out and carefully weighed her breast in each hand, running fingers around and around toward her nipples. When he actually brushed a thumb over each, Raven keened.

“Fuck, I really love it when you are like this,” he whispered into her ear, then started moving his mouth down toward her breasts.

Raven meant to reply, but then he was sucking on one nipple and twisting the other and her brain had turned to mush. She didn’t know how long he spent laving, sucking, and nipping at her breasts, switching sides and driving her insane. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair, yank him up by it and return the favors he was paying her. Instead, she was still firmly stuck in place and, honestly, loving how much that heightened the whole experience.

He had moved onto his knees when he looked up at her, fire in his eyes. “Raven?”

“Yes?” she whimpered.

“Would you like me to take off your jeans?”

“Right here?”

“I think we already discussed why it’s perfectly reasonable to enjoy our night right here in the doorway.” He gave her an amused but heated look.

“Azar, yes,” she finally determined.

He smirked as he unfastened her jeans and shimmied them down her legs, tossing them aside. Now his face was right in front of her center, with only her soaked panties between them. He leaned forward and breathed her in, making Raven shudder just from his proximity to the area. A finger slowly pressed between her folds through the fabric, drawing along toward her apex. “Do you know how wet these panties are?” he asked, his voice huskier than she had ever heard it before.

She tried to answer, but Dick chose that moment to nuzzle into her sex, his nose brushing over her clit, his warm breath sending a shiver of bliss through her. She cried out, a sharp gasping sound as he touched her there. Their eyes met as he teased his tongue around the bundle of nerves at her center, then very gently put his teeth on her nub. Raven could barely breathe, the moment was so intense.

“I think this might feel even more amazing without the soaked panties,” he said tauntingly.

“Yes, Dick,” she told him. “Please.”

“Please what, Raven?” he mumbled, rubbing into her.

“Please take my panties off. I want.. I want to feel you against my skin.”

He gave her a purely sinful smile. “As the lady commands,” he said, then slid a hand under the bands on her hips, suddenly ripping them to pieces.

Raven didn’t have time to complain before her legs were on his shoulders and his face was buried in her. His tongue was everywhere and she was crying out so loudly she wondered if one silencing spell had been enough. She whimpered when he pulled away from her just as she had been building toward a climax.

“How would you feel if our friends walked in right now?” he asked.

She knew her eyes were wide as they flicked around the dark room beyond. He chuckled at her frenzied expression. “Just wanted to remind you how panicky it can feel to think you might let go in front of a room full of people. I had fun, but it was a little terrifying.”

A shaky laugh escaped her. “Says the guy who is our leader.” After a pause she added, “I’m sorry, Dick. I guess I deserve that moment of panic.” Then she moaned as he ran a finger up through her slit.

“Of course, if this is any indication, maybe you like the idea of being caught more than you’re letting on.” She just whimpered without voicing an answer. He quirked an eyebrow at her and said, “I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”

Then his finger was inside her, quickly followed by a second, the calloused surface stimulating her in just the right way as he sucked at her clit. She was screaming his name when she came harder than she ever had before. He kept laving at her, now bending his fingers to brush her g-spot over and over and kept her orgasm going until she was too sensitive and had to beg him to stop.

“Of course, Raven,” he responded, moving to stand beside her as he released her hands from where they had been stuck. She slid bonelessly into his arms.

Dick kissed her neck, laughing every time her body twitched with the aftereffects of her intense orgasms. Finally, she had recovered enough to kiss him back, turned on even more by the taste of herself on his tongue. She pulled her legs up to wrap around his waist.

“Feeling eager?” he laughed. His hands slid her blouse off her shoulders to pool on the floor as his mouth ran along her neck and down to her breast.

“Yes!” She said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “Fuck me now, Dick.”

“Anything the lady wants,” he said with a smile, surprising her by almost perfectly lining them up and thrusting in without using his hands. Raven made a strangled sound, halfway between sweet pain and intense pleasure as he filled her completely. He was perfect. Dick paused before moving out.

“Am I hurting you, babe?”

“Deliciously,” she responded, “Now move. Fast and hard. Please!”

He didn’t need further encouragement. He slipped a hand between them as he began driving her into the wall with each snap of his hips. His thumb found her clit again and circled it. Raven moaned. “Dick, I’m going to cum again if you keep that up.”

“Thank Fuck,” he breathed. “I can’t hold out much longer. You’re so fucking tight.”

“Even after dinner?” she asked awed.

His affirmation that he was so close again already pushed her over the edge into another intense, screaming orgasm. He followed almost immediately, kissing hungrily along her neck as he moaned her name over and over and his cock spurted inside her. Filling her womb with his warm and delicious cum.

For long moments, he kept her pressed into the doorway, leaning against her as they both caught their breath. Then the two of them looked around at their clothes on the floor and the mistletoe above their heads and laughed.

“This was not how I expected my night to go,” he admitted, “but it has far exceeded my expectations.”

“I’m not sure what the sleeping arrangements here are, but I know how your bitch wife feels about you two sleeping together. Would you like me to teleport us back to my flat for tonight? I have quite a few more expectations I would like to exceed before morning,” Raven told him.

“I heard you girls are having a sleepover,” he replied, “I would hate to take that opportunity away from you.” He looked down far more disappointed than Raven would have expected and added, “And nothing would make me happier than sleeping next to you tonight….eventually.”

Raven blushed unexpectedly as they gathered their clothes in between touching and kissing. “Say you love me,” Dick said between kisses, She grazed his neck with her lips just before saying, “I love you Dick.”

“I love you too, Raven.”

Raven smiled as she stepped into her room, thinking how very grateful she was to have chosen that particular method of teasing earlier.

Merry Christmas indeed.

#robrae #dickrae #teen titans #raven roth #raven teen titans #smut #dick grayson #robin #smut prompts #shameless smut #teen titans smut #dick grayson x raven #dick grayson x rachel roth #cheating #smut writing

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gymfitme · 4 months

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Check out Better Bodies article on Top 7 Ways to Stay Fit After 40

Fit North of 40 Better Bodies Tucson Posted by Justin List on 12/28 2023 Now that you are previous age 40, you're finding that weight doesn't remain off as effectively as it used to. The inconspicuous indications of maturing can be overwhelming, however don't get deterred! The 40's are the ideal chance to begin making solid propensities that will influence you for quite a long time into the future, beginning with focusing on it to remain fit. The following are 7 methods for beginning working on your wellbeing and wellness right away. - Work out! Beginning at age 40, our digestion dials back and we lose around 1% bulk every year. Individuals will get the most advantage by integrating both power lifting practices and cardiovascular activity into a reliable week after week schedule. Regardless of whether it's essentially as straightforward as twisting soup jars every morning, any kind of obstruction preparing will fundamentally battle muscle misfortune. Practice is a decent way for anybody to remain solid, however it turns out to be totally important in our later years. - Have Breakfast As I referenced over, our digestion begins to dial back once we hit age 40, and it keeps on declining 2% every year there on later. Having breakfast is vital for kick off your digestion and guarantee you are consuming calories all through the entire day. It additionally gives your body dependable energy that fills movement. Studies have shown that individuals who have breakfast lose more weight and support their misfortune more successfully than those on a low-carb diet who make breakfast their littlest feast. That being said, breakfast doesn't need to be a gigantic dinner all things considered. However long you are eating something in the first part of the day, your digestion will be the best. - Deal with your pressure You might be worried about your age, work, and taking care of a family. All the pressure this causes can prompt undesirable changes in the body, for example, expanded circulatory strain, lower moxie, quicker cell demise, and more grounded indications of maturing. Stress is a known variable for coronary illness, which is the number 1 enemy of those matured 45 to 54. To that end it is so vital to oversee pressure, particularly as we age. One simple method for destressing is to take a full breath in through your nose for 4 seconds and breathe out it out for 4 seconds no less than two times an everyday. Slow breathing initiates the vagus nerve which runs from the cerebrum to the pelvis, loosening up the heart, muscles, and veins. - Eat More Protein

As we age, we become more inclined to low states of mind and neglect. Eating protein rich food varieties no less than two times per day supports levels of state of mind lifting synapses in the cerebrum, which can assist with side effects of sadness and unfortunate memory. Fish, chicken, eggs, nuts, and quinoa are sound wellsprings of protein to keep you feeling significantly better all through your 40's. - Take Calcium and Vitamin D We lose bone mass as we age, which can cause osteoporosis, where bones can turn out to be flimsy to the point that they break. Along these lines, it is fundamental to keep up serious areas of strength for with. Give them a lift with calcium and vitamin D which you can get normally from food varieties like salmon. There are likewise supplements you can take to guarantee you are getting your portion of bone food consistently. - Get a lot of ZZZ's

Life can get so occupied and you might think of yourself as dozing less, yet it is as yet urgent to get 7-9 hours of rest every late evening as per The Public Rest Establishment. Getting sufficient rest decreases indications of maturing, helps digestion, and increments temperament. In the event that you are experiencing difficulty resting sufficient take a stab at diminishing caffeine utilization late in the day, restricting screen time before bed, and adhering to a predictable daily practice. - Invest energy with companions Yep, no doubt. The pleasure is all mine. We held back something special for later…

Make a point to plan some time with your companions (face to face!). Not in the least does having a decent public activity decrease pressure and lift confidence, however it can likewise lessen the gamble of diabetes, coronary illness and strokes. Keeping a balance between serious and fun activities is indispensable to by and large wellbeing.

Meet The Team

At Better Bodies Tucson AZ, Our nationally certified Fitness trainers who are passionate and here to help you achieve optimum health, wellness, movement specialist and longevity. Schedule a free consultation and we'll pair you with the expertise that will bring you results.

Justin N. List Owner, Personal Trainer, Movement Specialist Certifications: N.S.C.A , I.S.S.A, FMS Level 1 & 2 TRX [email protected] Read the full article

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shafhimo1 · 2 years

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Omapodi Recipe (Karapusa) » Dassana's Veg Recipes

Just like the northern and western parts of India have the sev, crisp-fried spiced strands made of gram flour; South India has its own version of this quintessential Diwali favorite, popular as the Omapodi in Tamil Nadu and Karapusa in Andhra. So, this Omapodi Recipe also gives you a scrumptious crispy sev laced with the delicate flavor and aroma of carom seeds or ajwain. The addition of this is what makes it distinct than its other counterparts. Also, in Tamil Nadu, this spice is referred to as ‘omam.’ Hence, the name of this snack too.

About Omapodi

Making the South Indian style sev called Omapodi is very easy and really does not need you to have much of an expertise in cooking. This is one of those common regional type of sev which is usually prepared as a festive treat during Diwali. Apart from carom seeds or omam, which impart the typical flavor in it, other ingredients that you would need in this Omapodi recipe are gram flour, rice flour, some spice powders, seasonings and oil to deep-fry. So, you see, you don’t even have to spend sleepless nights over sourcing of these ingredients as all of these are basic and are mostly available at our homes. In this Omapodi Recipe, you can increase or decrease the degree of spiciness by altering the quantity of red chili powder. A personal suggestion that I would like to share here is that avoid making this sev too spicy. As then, the taste of ajwain will eventually diminish and the snack will lose its essence.

More On The Recipe You can make Omapodi or Karapusa a few days before the Diwali festival and store in an air-tight jar or steel box or container. This Omapodi Recipe yields about 300 grams of this particular sev. You can also halve, double or triple the recipe to suit your requirements. Not just a snack by itself, you can use this Omapodi Recipe to make it and then use it to make other popular preparations like this Madras Mixture and Kara Boondi Mixture. It also makes for a great tea-time snack. You and your family and friends can munch on this carom flavored sev, any time of the day or enjoy even while watching a movie or reading a book. Along with Omapodi, you can also give a try to these recipes of Potato Sev and Sev, which I have shared on this blog. Both these will also make for a fabulous snacky treat during your Diwali celebrations. Step-by-Step Guide

How to make Omapodi

Preparation 1. Heat a small pan and keep the heat to low. Add 1 teaspoon carom seeds (ajwain).

2. Stirring often, roast the carom seeds for some seconds or till they are fragrant. No need to brown the seeds. Set aside and let them cool.

3. Once cooled, add the carom seeds in a small dry grinder jar or a spice grinder.

4. Grind to a fine powder. Set aside. You can also opt to crush or powder the carom seeds using a mortar-pestle. In this scenario, when adding the crushed carom seeds powder, use a tea strainer and sift the powder through it. This helps the dough strands not to break while pressing the dough through the sev press or murukku press.

Make Dough 5. In a mixing bowl or pan, take 1 cup gram flour (besan) and ½ cup rice flour.

6. Add the prepared carom seeds powder.

7. Add in 1 generous pinch asafoetida (hing), 2 pinches turmeric powder, ¼ teaspoon red chili powder and 1 teaspoon salt. You can add salt as per taste. You can choose to omit turmeric powder if you prefer. To make a spicy omapodi, you can increase the amount of red chili powder. For more crispiness, you can add a pinch of baking soda also.

8. Mix the ground spices evenly with the flours using a spoon or spatula.

9. Next, heat 1 tablespoon oil in a steel bowl or a steel measuring cup.

10. When the oil becomes hot, add it to the flour mixture. Instead of oil, you can also use ghee or butter. Read the full article

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parkerbombshell · 2 years

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From Whispers To Screams: 1998 part 1 // Be quiet and drive

Thursdays 11:00am-1pm EST bombshellradio.com#rock #britpop #triphop #indierock #alternativeRepeats Fridays 3am EST 1 Angel - Massive Attack 2 Over - Portishead 3 Eden - Hooverphonic 4 Frozen - Madonna 5 A Perfect Day Elise - PJ Harvey 6 This Is Hardcore - Pulp 7 Tear - The Smashing Pumpkins 8 Goddess On A Hiway - Mercury Rev 9 In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel 10 A Question Mark - Elliott Smith 11 A.M. 180 - Grandaddy 12 California Stars - Billy Bragg & Wilco 13 Last Stop, This Town - Eels 14 Cold Brains - Beck 15 Hollow as a Bone - Cowboy Junkies 16 Parakeet - R.E.M. 17 Great Ocean Road - The Gathering 18 Thank U - Alanis Morissette 19 Spark - Tori Amos 20 Save tonight - Eagle Eye Cherry 21 Fly away - Lenny Kravitz 22 Celebrity Skin - Hole 23 Whiskey In The Jar - Metallica 24 Forty Six - Tool 25 Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away) - Deftones 26 Losing A Whole Year - Third Eye Blind 27 England Made Me - Black Box Recorder 28 The Bad Photographer - Saint Etienne 29 Clandestino - Manu chao Read the full article

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sushiwarm7 · 2 years

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Questioning The right way to Make Your Minecraft Servers Rock? Read This!

Simply don’t let the larger dinosaurs eat you. These space missions allow you to travel to the furthest photo voltaic techniques, construct the coolest spaceships and even your own moon base. From efficiency-optimizing mods to mods that may build large structures in mere minutes, installing Minecraft mods will serve you more than tons of of hours of gameplay - if not more! Jeb had previously tweeted he would add the jar file for "professional customers," which is precisely what he did 9 hours later. Geralt of Rivia's toes are sure to tire from trekking via just a few dozen hours of wilderness, but thankfully a brand new playable character named Ciri will stand in at some point to provide Geralt a relaxation. If you employ a console gadget reminiscent of Xbox or PlayStation, you might want to pair it with a widescreen Television. I was hoping to make use of this week's column to talk in glowing terms about Star Citizen's newly launched racing mechanics. You can speak too, trade with, marry, and even have kids on this mod.

With no real goal aside from to have enjoyable and change up your look, the Hats mod is solely cosmetic enjoyable. Traversing the extensive expanses of Minecraft can take fairly some time, so why not add in an excellent efficient and really enjoyable way to speed that course of up with some very cute companions? Witchery provides in an unlimited amount of actually enjoyable potions. Witchery puts numerous emphasis on traditional magic, like cauldrons and potions and black cats and all that jazz. Who doesn’t like dinosaurs? Who doesn’t like to play the odd game of likelihood? It doesn’t spawn usually but when it does its small hitbox. Animal Bikes are craftable gadgets that may spawn a wide variety of rideable creatures. The Animal Bike mod enables you to create and experience a wide number of animals and creatures around your world. There's some good interplay on this mod similar to needing to correctly feed and care for your dinosaurs. This mod permits you to use ancient DNA to bring dinosaurs into the modern Minecraft world.

In case you were to install just one mod off the listing - Optifine would be one I’d pick in a heartbeat. 53vv As these games facilitate in breaking the every day routine by supplying you with time to get pleasure from one factor else. There are wars, automobile races, boxing, soccer and different video games played by means of the online servers. You at the moment are caught in the midst of nowhere, alone and surrounded by zombies, heaps and lots of zombies. Terasology began its life as a Minecraft-based mostly tech demo, and is now an open-source recreation being developed for Home windows, Mac and Linux. Now they can attempt their hand at it with the Democracy game series. Nintendo Years in the past, Nintendo had the Brain Age sequence that was full of math and logic fast-response puzzles to "train your mind." Large Mind Academy was another game in that same tradition. Just view the full checklist and use the filters at the top to select your most popular game mode and shopper version (1.8, 1.17, 1.18, or whichever you occur to use). You possibly can view these because the Best Minecraft Servers this month - rated by the gamers. On the hunt for the best Minecraft servers?

The best part of this mod is that you will no lose any of your progress in the sport while exploring the totally different parallel dimensions. Retail versions can be dropping on October twenty seventh -- Telltale is looking it a "Season Move Disc," which suggests you will get on the spot access to the primary episode and obtain codes/patches for the latter 4 episodes that wrap up the collection. There is no mistaking that the Fireplace HD 7 tablet comes from the identical firm that made the Hearth Telephone and Fireplace Television, and there are shared features like ASAP instant streaming or Second Display sharing. The sweet dimension really does really feel like a fleshed-out world complete with its own set of basic tools in addition to sweet variations of all of the passive mobs. When searching for brand new Resource Packs, you will discover that most have a resolution within the file name -- like 16X16, 32X32, or even 512X512. This is the resolution of the textures included within the pack, and the higher the number the more detailed your world will change into.

#53vv #Minecraft #MINECRAFT JAVA #Minecraft Server

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mailchain53 · 2 years

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Wondering Find out how to Make Your Minecraft Servers Rock? Read This!

Simply don’t let the bigger dinosaurs eat you. These space missions let you journey to the furthest photo voltaic systems, construct the coolest spaceships and even your personal moon base. From efficiency-optimizing mods to mods that may construct large buildings in mere minutes, installing Minecraft mods will serve you greater than a whole lot of hours of gameplay - if no more! Jeb had previously tweeted he would add the jar file for "expert customers," which is strictly what he did 9 hours later. Geralt of Rivia's ft are sure to tire from trekking through a number of dozen hours of wilderness, however thankfully a brand new playable character named Ciri will stand in at some point to offer Geralt a relaxation. If you use a console device corresponding to Xbox or PlayStation, you might want to pair it with a widescreen Television. I hoped to use this week's column to speak in glowing phrases about Star Citizen's newly launched racing mechanics. You possibly can speak too, trade with, marry, and even have children on this mod.

With no real purpose aside from to have enjoyable and change up your look, the Hats mod is simply beauty fun. Traversing the extensive expanses of Minecraft can take fairly some time, so why not add in a brilliant efficient and very enjoyable way to hurry that course of up with some very cute companions? Witchery adds in an infinite quantity of really fun potions. Witchery puts quite a lot of emphasis on classic magic, like cauldrons and potions and black cats and all that jazz. Who doesn’t like dinosaurs? Who doesn’t like to play the odd sport of probability? It doesn’t spawn usually but when it does its small hitbox. Animal Bikes are craftable gadgets that may spawn a wide variety of rideable creatures. The Animal Bike mod enables you to create and trip a large variety of animals and creatures around your world. There's some good interplay in this mod comparable to needing to correctly feed and care in your dinosaurs. This mod allows you to make use of historic DNA to deliver dinosaurs into the trendy Minecraft world.

In the event you have been to install only one mod off the list - Optifine would be one I’d choose in a heartbeat. As these games facilitate in breaking the every day routine by supplying you with time to get pleasure from one factor else. There are wars, automotive races, boxing, football and other games played by the online servers. You are actually stuck in the middle of nowhere, alone and surrounded by zombies, lots and plenty of zombies. Terasology began its life as a Minecraft-based mostly tech demo, and is now an open-supply game being developed for Home windows, Mac and Linux. Now they can attempt their hand at it with the Democracy game collection. Dhakacourier , Nintendo had the Mind Age sequence that was filled with math and logic fast-reaction puzzles to "train your mind." Huge Brain Academy was another game in that very same tradition. Simply view the complete list and use the filters at the highest to pick out your most well-liked game mode and client version (1.8, 1.17, 1.18, or whichever you happen to make use of). You'll be able to view these as the Best Minecraft Servers this month - rated by the gamers. On the hunt for the best Minecraft servers?

One of the best a part of this mod is that you'll no lose any of your progress in the sport while exploring the totally different parallel dimensions. Retail versions can be dropping on October 27th -- Telltale is asking it a "Season Cross Disc," which implies you will get instantaneous access to the first episode and download codes/patches for the latter four episodes that wrap up the series. There is no mistaking that the Fire HD 7 pill comes from the identical firm that made the Fire Cellphone and Fire Television, and there are shared features like ASAP immediate streaming or Second Display screen sharing. The sweet dimension really does really feel like a fleshed-out world full with its personal set of basic tools in addition to candy variations of all the passive mobs. When browsing for brand spanking new Useful resource Packs, you may notice that the majority have a resolution within the file title -- like 16X16, 32X32, or even 512X512. This is the decision of the textures included in the pack, and the higher the number the extra detailed your world will change into.

#Dhaka's blog #MINECRAFT #MINECRAFT BLOG

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sidespart · 3 years

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The Fall of King Romulus Part 9

Summary: Twin Princes Remus and Romulus are cursed at birth with Honesty and Obedience. When Romulus, who cannot disobey any order, is told to kill his brother the next time he lays eyes on him, he changes his name to Roman and runs away. Roman joins up with a misfit group of adventures and plans to never return to his homeland. But the fae have other plans for him… Warnings (for whole fic not necessarily individual chapters): Violence, mind whammying/memory altering, curse of obedience related consent issues, references to sex, references to war related injuries/PTSD, references to child abuse/neglect (YMMV on that one but just in case), antagonstic-but-not-exactly villian!Janus, Extremly-moraly-dubious-but-not-exacty-unsympathetic-Remus

Feedback appreciated.

NOW ON AO3 :D

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Roman kept his back straight and his gaze cold and aloof as he watched his proclamation sink in.

It was a simple thing, to be Romulus again.

Virgil and Patton had been sent to fight and die by their Kings. Roman had listened to Logan rant, many times, about his distain of the noble classes and their control over the common men. Whatever affection they had for Roman – it wouldn’t extend to Romulus.

They would leave.

“Well yes,” Logan said, sounding annoyed “I was getting to that.”

“What?!” Roman shrieked.

“Not require our services?” Virgil stared at him incredulously, “Didn’t we hire you?”

“Logan, you knew?” Patton said admiringly, “You’re so smart!”

“Oh, he did not.” Roman grumbled.

“Well.” Logan shuffled his feet, not looking directly at him, “The Marquis de Ornella called you Romulus. And you attempted to call him by his first name, so I assumed you knew each other- a noble connection was not out of the question.”

“Ha!” Roman pointed at him, vindicated “But you didn’t guess I was a prince, did you?”

“Well, no-” Logan looked on the verge of pouting.

“What services are we even providing? In this scenario?”

“-but If I had had time to do more research then- “

“You know what! That’s a great idea.” Patton smiled brightly, “I think we could all use a little cool down time – Logan why don’t you go back to the library and read up on Nothalevaele”.

“Notaleveale.” Logan corrected.

Patton frowned. “It’s not -aleveale? I swear that’s what he said.”

“It’s not Nothalevaele it’s Notaleveale”.

“Then what is it?”

Roman stuffed most of his good hand into his mouth to muffle a scream.

“Seriously.” Virgil smirked at him even as he leant over to adjust Roman’s pillow. “You just can’t get service like this anywhere else.”

Roman glared at him.

“He-” Virgil jerked his head at Logan, utterly unbothered by Roman’s glare – “shouldn’t go to the library alone.”

Patton nodded seriously and gave Vigil a wide smile.

Virgil glared back.

Patton raised both eyebrows.

Virgil folded his arms.

“No one needs to go anywhere – I told you I’m leaving.” Roman complained.

They ignored him.

Eventually whatever silent argument the two men were having ended with Virgil rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Go find your bag.” He told Logan, who nodded jerkily and all but fled the room.

Roman flopped back against the pillows with a thump, too tired to maintain his princely posture any longer. “He can go by himself, can’t he,” he muttered sulkily, “we’re not actually kids.”

Virgil and Patton exchanged another glance before Virgil turned away to the bedside table, fussing with his pots and potions.

“We’re not sure how many guards got a look at our faces before we got out of the bathhouse.” Patton told him, “Better not to risk traveling alone.”

“Oh.” Roman replied, his voice small.

He remembered the bathhouse. The screams from above. Virgil’s panic-stricken face as he glanced between them and the stairs. Logan with a blade at his throat.

He swallowed hard and cast his eyes down, picked idly at a loose thread of the blanket.

“We should be back before the bandages needs changing, but if you smell anything or see any new pus there’s some ointment left in this one.” Virgil held up a blue-green jar for Patton to see, “Just wash it out first with boiled water.”

“Pus!” Roman squeaked, looking up.

“Your hand was pretty screwed up.” Virgil told him gruffly, “The infection’s what gave you the fever. You need to drink more willow tea, at least one cup every hour – we’ll have to pick up some more salve whilst we’re out.” This last part he directed at Patton, who dutifully rummaged in their stack of bags and handed over their coin purse.

It looked worryingly empty. Roman remembered the extra nights they had booked at the inn – nights which they clearly hadn’t even ended up using - and winced.

“We should look for some road food too, Virgil continued “and a map if we’re really going nor – Oh!” He looked at Roman, eyes wide “Er – about the tea, I mean, you need to drink it every hour but only If you -want to? I mean you definitely should but” he waved his hands as if trying to physically shape the instruction into something optional. “You get it.”

Roman bit down hard on the inside of his cheek and tried to ignore the fondness bubbling up inside him. He had hardly even noticed the order.

“How long was I asleep?” He asked.

“Nearly two days.” Patton said softly. “You really scared us for a minute there kiddo.”

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, “And- thank you. For taking care of me.”

“Aw Roman! You don’t have to be sorry for anything!” Patton said, “Or thank us – that’s what family’s for.”

“You’re not my family.” Roman said quietly, thinking of his father’s cool detachment and a castle full of empty rooms.

Virgil snorted. “Yeah whatever. Listen you gotta – you should eat. And sleep some more. And we are going to have to talk about all this when we’re back, okay Ro – er, Romulus?”

He wrinkled his nose. “Jeez do we have to call you that now?”

“I think it’s a nice name.” Patton interjected “It’s very umm. Regal.”

“Surely ‘Princey’ still works as a nickname?" Logan asked, returning to the room. He threw a pale green coat at Virgil, who made a face but obediently shrugged it on, pulling an orange knit cap down over the pointed tips of his ears.

Almost as an afterthought, he licked is thumb and rubbed at the dark kohl under each eye. He smirked down at Roman. “You ran away from being a prince and called yourself ‘Princey’?

“You called me that.” Roman said sulkily, deciding not to tell Virgil that he’d only succeeded in smearing the make-up.

“Umm.” Logan stood at the head of the bed. Roman braced himself for another round of interrogation, twisting the blanket between his hands. “I suspect I should apologise for– I was just trying to test my hypothesis before started making outlandish accusations. Obviously, I didn’t realise how long you have been dealing with- I mean, it’s actually quite impressive you maintained your sanity for this long given that-”

“Okay! Less talking!” Virgil declared, as Romans knuckles started to turn white. The elf slung one arm around Logan’s shoulders, propelling him towards the door.

“I was only trying to-”

“Later.”

The door closed behind them with a resounding thud.

“So” Patton said after a moment, casually reaching out with one thumb to wipe away the tears collecting in the bard’s eyes, “Would you like food first or a nap?”

***

The library of Steveange was the crowning jewel of the city. A towering hexagonal building that sat upon the cities highest peak, directly across from the gates to the royal palace.

Which meant the journey was almost all uphill.

Typical.

Virgil huffed, breathing heavily as he stomped his way through the streets, Logan practically trotting to keep up with his long strides.

Prince Romulus of Notaleveale.

Honestly, what the fuck.

At least it explained the whole armed guards thing.

Except actually it explained nothing because if you found a runaway member of the royal family, why in the hell would you then tie them up in a bathhouse basement?

Unless they were traitors working against the royal family – but then why go after a runaway prince at all? Ransom? They hadn’t exactly looked strapped for cash….

And why a bathhouse? Why not one the extremely defensible manor houses that were scattered throughout the upper echelons of the city??

Virgil let out a growl of frustration and came to a stop.

Roman’s injuries had been too systematic to have come from a fight. The northerners had tortured him.

And now he wanted to go back there?

It didn’t make any sense…unless of course the kidnappers had ordered him to go back…

Virgil took a deep breath and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to banish that thought. If he started thinking about the curse again he was going to lose it; end up in a spiral of what had they done and what had they missed and HOW were they supposed to protect him if-

“Virgil? Do you need me to count for seven?”

He forced his eyes open to meet Logan’s worried face and let out the breath he’d been holding in a rush.

“I’m good.” He told the younger man unconvincingly.

“We could go back-” Logan started, but Virgil shook his head.

As much as he bristled at being managed, he didn’t think Patton had been wrong to split the group.

Roman – or whatever they were calling him now– was barley recovered. He’d looked so small, propped up against the pillows without a lute or sword or smile between himself and the world.

Small and scared. And puffing himself up like a songbird trying to look big for a cat.

The four of them yelling for answers at once was only going to freak him out more. Patton had a much better chance getting information out of him one on one.

Still…

“You think we’re going got get anything useful out of this trip?” he asked Logan bluntly.

“The library of Stevenage is one of the greatest collections of written knowledge on the entire continent and in times of uncertainty, knowledge is our greatest weapon... and our greatest defence.” Logan told him, a serious look in his eye.

“Right.” Virgil nodded absently, “Do you think they’ve got a copy of ‘curse breaking for idiots?”

***

Roman woke up for the second time that day with a throbbing headache on top of his other aches and pains. He spent a few minutes cursing himself for not taking up Patton’s offer of willow tea before he’d gone back to sleep and then swung his legs out of the bed.

He needed to get up. He needed to relieve himself and wash and eat and and-

And figure out what to do next.

He needed to know if Remus was safe. If he was on the throne or locked up somewhere or worse.

Which meant going home.

Which meant getting away from his friends.

No one else was going to get hurt because of him and his petty little problems.

Nodding decisively to himself he sprung to his feet. And then swiftly sat back down as the world tilted alarmingly around him.

“Roman?” There was a polite knock at the door and Patton stuck his head in.

“Hey kiddo!” the big man smiled at him, “Are you hungry?”

Roman felt his heart rate speed up and tried to summon some of Romulus’ cool detachment. Patton knew about his curse. If anyone learned about his curse, they would try to exploit it. They would use it to hurt his family, to hurt-

Roman bit down hard on the inside of his cheek to stop the flow of anxiety. This was Patton.

Roman was more likely to be a burden to him then an opportunity.

Before he could manage to come up with a suitable greeting his stomach growled, loudly, making him blush and Patton laugh.

“Shall I bring something up? Or do you want to come sit at the table?”

“…Table.” Roman mumbled, keeping his eyes locked somewhere in the vicinity of Patton’s left ear. Even though he knew, in his head and in his heart, that Patton wasn’t going to hurt him - he still felt oddly vulnerable with his secret sitting between them. Attempting eye contact made something inside him twist uncomfortably.

His mother had always said Romulus was shy.

If Patton noticed his odd behaviour he didn’t mention it, nor did he insist on carrying Roman down the stairs or otherwise manhandling him. Instead he hovered at his elbow as he made his way from the room, keeping up a running commentary of the house as they descended the stairs.

The room that Roman had been staying in was the attic. Immediately outside the door was a set of stairs so steep they may as well have been a ladder. Patton must have been perched out here, Roman thought guilty, giving him space but close enough to hear him get up. At the base of these stairs was a short landing where most of the items normally stored in the attic were now haphazardly stacked.

“That’s Mama’s room.” Patton nodded at a closed door, as he gingerly ducked under a rolled-up carpet which was wedged against the wall. “And that’s the store cupboard”. At the base of the next steep flight was a hallway Roman recognised: kitchen at one end, main door at the other. There was another door opposite the stairs that he hadn’t noticed on his first visit, with a moon and stars motif painted at eye level.

“That’s her work room.” Patton told him, seeing Romans curious glance, “She’s asked us to stay out of there- it’s where she sees customers.”

Customers. Roman filed that thought away. He had almost forgotten they were in a witch’s house.

Patton took him straight through the kitchen, where a back door led into a narrow garden. The herb bed was surprisingly neat, given the haphazard nature of the house, with small labels pinned neatly next to each plant. At the far end were two wooden structures. “Storage shed.” Patton pointed, “Outhouse. Do you need help using it?”

Roman shook his head vehemently - clung to Patton’s arm briefly when the movement made him dizzy – and stomped to the outhouse to relieve himself.

After a few steps though he stopped.

Patton knew about the curse. And Patton wouldn’t hurt him so-

He could ask.

“Pat?“

“Yeah?” Patton – or at least his ear – looked concerned.

“I. um. My arm is…”

Virgil had instructed him to keep his arm still in his sling until the herbs had done their work and clearly, they hadn’t happened yet. The thing was still pinned across his chest.

Not that he couldn’t navigate the outhouse one handed if he had too. But his balance wasn’t exactly great at the moment and tripping in there was one humiliation he would have liked to avoid.

But then again, it’s not like his hand was any use. He would really just be freeing up the use of his elbow and why was even bothering Patton with something so stupid and embarrassing an-

“Roman. Hold your… hold your whole body however you like.”

He nodded jerkily as his shoulder relaxed for the first time since waking up, letting his arm drop a little lower.

He didn’t look at Patton as he made his escape to the outhouse.

***

When he returned Patton had pulled a tin bathtub from who-knows-where onto the slab of paving stone by the kitchen door and was testing the water’s temperature with his elbow.

“Virgil left us some potions.” He told Roman as he approached – “This is another one to help healing and this-” he held up a red tinted bottle “-should give us bubbles!”

Roman stared at the bath almost hungrily. Hot water was a luxury under normal circumstances and between the travel, the bath house and the fever he knew he must reek of sweat and dirt. Surely, he deserved a little pampering before the journey North?

“It’s still too hot.” Patton warned him before he could launch himself into the water. Instead, the other man gestured to a pretty wrought iron table and two chairs set against the left side fence. He produced bread and jam alongside a mug of tea, advising him to eat slowly as went to grab another bucket of water from the cauldron simmering away in Tay’s kitchen.

Although Patton had been careful not to make an order, Roman still made sure he followed his instructions carefully. He had no desire to make himself sick. Or to make more work for the other man.

He pulled his bread apart into small bites and ate them one at a time, watching Patton critically as he limped his way back to the table.

“Did you get hurt…in the bathhouse?”

“…A few bruises.” Patton told him honestly, spreading a thick layer of jam on his own bread, “Nothing too bad”

“I’m sorry.” Roman said again, pulling his remaining bread into smaller and smaller pieces.

“Ro-man!” Patton said cheerfully – “you don’t need to apologise! It was those Ornelly guys that hit me not you!”

“Right. Yeah. Sorry.”

Roman hunched and cursed himself. Sorry sorry sorry. Couldn’t he say anything useful?

“Roman hey – can you look at me please?”

It took more effort than he would have liked, but Roman did. Patton’s eyes were big and blue and very, very kind. Roman jerked his gaze away immediately.

“None of us blame you for what happened. Okay?”

“You got hurt because of me.” Roman blurted. “Logan nearly died- “

“I told you, that was on the Ornellans, not you-“

“Who were there specifically because of me! That excuse doesn’t work Pat I-“

He cut himself off, eyes glued to the floor once more. Hadn’t he just decided he didn’t want to cause any more trouble?

“Sorry.”

He heard Patton sigh and tried not to flinch, but when the other man spoke his voice was still gentle. “How many bubbles do you want?”

***

Whenever Virgil got upset, he always wanted space. It was something Patton found difficult, as his instinct was to smother the other man with affection until he smiled again, but experience had given him the patience to wait until his friend was ready.

When Logan got upset, he always claimed he needed space – but what he really wanted was an audience. He needed to talk through the problem, often at length, and know that someone was listening, even if he didn’t always want their advice.

Roman though – Roman liked attention. Roman liked fuss and pampering and his favourite food and to know, demonstrably, that someone was worried about him.

It didn’t mean he was great at asking for it. Patton remembered vividly his insistence on hopping half a mile on a twisted ankle before Patton had all but begged him to accept a piggyback.

He also remembered a time after a poorly received show when Roman had spent the evening sulking, sighing loudly and dramatically and slumping against each of them in turn until Patton had laughingly pulled him into a hug. Oh my god Vigil had snarked were you not hugged enough as a child?

It had been funny. At the time. Sort of.

Not so much now.

Since lying back against the tub’s rim would aggravate the wounds on his back, Roman was hunched forward in the tub, his bandaged arm hanging over the edge.

“Did I ever tell you how Virgil and I met?” Patton asked, settling on his knees next to the tub.

Roman twitched. There was a tactic agreement amongst the four of them not to discuss their pasts. This was more than fine with Patton, who was much more concerned with making new, happy memories then revisiting old ones, but he didn’t blame Roman and Logan for being curious.

Whenever the pair were on watch together, conversation often turned to whispered debate over the southern pair’s origin. Whilst he felt a bit bad for pretending to be asleep, Patton quite enjoyed their speculation.

His favourite was the circus performer theory. Virgil would probably has made a good acrobat.

“It was in the war.” he continued, scooping up some of the water and wetting Roman’s hair.

“I um. I volunteered you know? All the boys in my town did. I think we thought- well I know I thought it was the right thing to do. Finaley’ed was the enemy after all, we had to keep our families safe.”

He chuckled sadly, focusing on making sure every strand of Roman’s hair was damp before gently capturing a handful of bubbles and placing them on the other man’s head.

“Made you a crown.” he giggled.

Roman turned just enough to peak at him incredulously through one eye and Patton winced.

“Right. Sorry.”

Roman turned away again but Patton though he saw him suppressing a smile. Score!

“Um anyway” – he poured a measure of oil from one of Virgil’s bottles and rubbed it between his fingers before leaning over to begin massaging Roman’s scalp – “It was okay at first. I was in a regiment with all my friends, it was a bit of an adventure honestly.”

“And then there was this Major. He came to inspect us before we got done training and he – he said I was good. That I should get a chance to really make a difference in the war.”

He dragged his fingers through Roman’s hair, gently detangling the strands.

“He put me in a new regiment. All big guys. Like me. And they- they gave us this – I’m not even sure what it was. My buddy Micha used to say it was ground up swamp frogs but I don’t know.”

He started scooping up water again, rinsing some of the bubbles and oil from Roman’s hair.

“It made us…strong. Angry. Scary. Berserk well– that was the point. I don’t. um.” Some of the water sloshed over his cupped palms and Patton realised he was shivering.

“I killed a lot of people…. I mean I definitely made a difference to them.” He finished bitterly.

“…s’not your fault.” Patton glanced up to see Roman had twisted to look at him, was doing his best to maintain eye contact despite Patton’s confession. Patton smiled at him. Roman really was a sweet kid.

“It’s what I signed up for kiddo. Just faster.”

He sighed, nudging Roman gently to turn around so that he could finish rinsing his hair. “I’m not. I’m not saying it’s the same as what you’ve gone through. I know it isn’t. Just – I get it. A little. What it’s like not having any control.”

For a moment they sat in silence, the only sound the trickle of water as Patton continued lifting handfuls to Roman’s scalp.

Then the bard let out a shuddering breath and said: “My major’s name was Julius.”

“Oh?” Patton whispered.

“He was my dad’s friend. He was supposed to find a way to break the curse, but he didn’t. Then he just…started helping me figure out how to live with it. He was helping me. He was supposed to be…”

Roman took a deep breath “He’s the reason I-ack.” He broke off, coughing. Patton reached forward to hold him up, alarmed.

“Ro?”

“I’m okay.” But he didn’t look it, red faced and scowling. “I-” he gripped Patton’s arm looking right into his eyes. “I can’t tell you.”

Patton nodded slowly, understanding. “You can’t – not because you don’t want to.”

Roman nodded.

Patton frowned. “Can I – could I order you too? I could undo what Virgil said about your arm right?”

Roman sighed shaking his head. “The curse is. It’s fickle. But words are important -if you don’t know what you’re contradicting it’s almost impossible and Julius he – he was very good at giving orders.”

“Right.” Patton frowned. “What if I guess? Like Logan figured out the curse?”

“You can try.” Roman laughed bitterly.

“Hmm okay – was he the reason you left home?”

Roman span around so quickly water splashed over the side of the tub. “Patton! How’d you know?”

“Well gee kiddo! The frog pills didn’t rattle too many cells loose!” Patton laughed tapping the side of his head. Then frowned. “Well, I hope not…”

Roman winced. “Patton I – I’m sorry about what happened to you.”

“Well.” Patton smiled sadly, “Likewise Ro-Romulus.”

The other man sighed, sinking low in the tub again. “I liked being Roman.” he blurted out suddenly, a look of abject misery on his face.

“Then – why stop?” Patton whispered.

“I-” He frowned. “I would like to not be naked for this conversation.”

“That’s fair.” Patton nodded and helped him to his feet.

***

By the time Roman was up, towelled off and dressed in one of Patton’s old shirts that he had long ago claimed as a sleep shirt, he looked about ready to pass out again. Patton left him sitting at the table to finish drying in the sunshine whilst he dashed upstairs to change the sheets on the attic bed. When he returned with the laundry pile, he found that Mittens had emerged and settled himself on the bard’s– the prince’s – lap.

Roman looked up at him guilty - “Your allergies.”

“It’s easier outside.” Patton waved him off. Mittens had been the key to them finding Roman, as far as Patton on was concerned, the cat’s comfort was worth a few sneezes.

He took a seat at the table and nudged the remaining bread towards Roman, who took it hungrily, eating with much more enthusiasm than before the bath.

“So you were saying...” Patton prompted.

Roman pouted at him, cheeks stuffed with bread.

“’u first.” he swallowed, “You never got to how you met Virgil. Was he in the berserkers – in the special regiment too?”

“Oh, no.” Patton shook his head vehemently. “Virgil wasn’t like me. He was a conscript – for the other side.”

An exceptionally fat bumble bee had found Tay’s herb garden and was repeatedly bouncing off the side of some chives. Patton focused on the bewildered looking insect rather than Roman’s face and his finished the story.

“A small group of us had got separated from the rest. It was quite deep in the forest, away from the main battle. We were meant to find their camp and pick them off there, but we couldn’t find them. And then we couldn’t find the way back.”

The bee, finally free of the chives, crashed headfirst into a Rosemary bush.

“It was like… like my blood was on fire. We hadn’t been so long without it before. And then...”

“And then?”

“We stumbled on a group of them. Of Finaley’ii soldiers. And there was a fight.” Patton closed his eyes. Screams and sobs and blood on his sword and in his eyes and Micha gasping uselessly around the arrow in his throat “I don’t remember it much. But when it was over it was like I…woke up.”

He smiled.

“And there he was. Virgil. Pointing s crossbow right at my face.”

“He what!” Roman yelped and Patton laughed.

“Well, we were on opposite sides kiddo and I had just…well. The thing was, it was only us left then. No one was ordering to kill each other and so we just…didn’t. Neither of us was in any big rush to find our armies again so….”

“Virgil asked me to help him find his mom, so we headed east. We couldn’t find her, so he said he’d help me find my town and we went west. That was gone too.”

“The whole town?” Roman as looking at him with sorrowful eyes.

“That’s the problems with wars kiddo – they don’t stay in one place.”

“What about your family?”

Patton shrugged. Mittens hopped down from Roman’s lap and began to stalk the errant bee.

“Maybe they got away. I hope so.” He glanced at Roman again. “Virgil was the one who suggested we keep going west. Get away entirely, see if we could find any refugees, look for our families.” He smiled fondly. “He’s always been the brave one, not me.”

“And – and did you?” Roman asked. He was bent forward, eyes fixed on Patton’s own.

“No.” Patton sighed. “I like to think they’re safe and sound somewhere. Set up a new house, found new people to care for. Like I did. But… “

He trailed off. But most likely they were dead. Like Patton should be.

“What if…if you knew where they were.” Roman said quietly, “Would you go see them- check on them?”

Patton rubbed his hand over his face, feeling the multitude of scars that littered the right side. “I don’t know.” He told Roman honestly. “I would like to know if they were okay but…I don’t know if they’d want to see me.”

Roman nodded.

On the other side of the garden, there was a sudden yowling from the rosemary bush. Mittens came charging towards them with his tail fluffed up and circled Roman’s chair twice before leaping onto the fence.

Patton giggled – “Well that’s what you get for trying to fight a bee you silly cat!”

“I think my brothers in danger.” Roman said in a rush.

Patton blinked.

“Your brother?”

He was back to staring down. Both fists clenched tightly together. “I left him. Back home. I thought I-” he coughed again. “I thought he would be safe but now I’m not sure.”

“In danger from what kiddo?”

“From Julius.” Roman breathed. “I saw him. Or. Or I think I did.”

Slowly, haltingly, Roman told him about meeting the Marquis. About the bathhouse basement and the northern soldiers and the figure he called the grey man who had slipped in and out of Julius’ face.

Patton did his best to keep his own face clam as Roman casually described being forced to hurt himself, even as his own knuckles turned white from his grip on the chairs’ arm.

“He said he had sent Lucius to the inn after some – some escaped prisoner? And he found me. But Lucius knew about the curse and he never did before so- “

“Roman?” Patton interrupted. “Sorry - can I give you a hug?”

“Oh!” Roman blinked at him, blushing slightly, “If you – if you want to?”

“I really do.” Patton scrambled to his feet, wrapping the younger man in his arms and feeling Roman sag against him. He resisted the urge to squeeze, mindful of his injuries. “You’re safe now.” He whispered. “I gottcha.”

Roman giggled wetly against his chest. “Julius. He said he’d assumed I’d died.” He mumbled. “But now that he knows I’m around? He’ll try again Pat I know he will. I- “

He drew back, looking up at Patton with tear filled eyes. “I can’t risk you all getting hurt because of me.”

“That’s not your decision to make Roman.” Patton told him softly. “We think you’re worth the risk.”

“But I’m not Roman.” He whimpered. He hadn’t relinquished his grip on Patton, who began to run his hand soothingly up and down the prince’s back.

“Well, if we’re being technical, I’m not Patton.” Patton rested his head on top of Roman’s own. “Me and Vigil picked new names after we left the war and I – I like being Patton.”

There was a pause. Roman squeezed a little tighter.

“I like Patton too.”

Patton laughed; some tension he hadn’t realised he was holding draining away. When Roman drew back this time, he had a shaky smile on his face.

“So.” He stepped back, wiping his eyes with the back of his wrist. “I need to…go back north. Check on my brother. Avoid Julius and Lucius and anyone connected with Romulus. You sure that’s worth the risk?”

“Yep!” Patton said instantly. “And we need to break the curse!”

“I guess.” Roman shrugged. “I really do think it’s impossible Pat’.”

“Eh.” Patton waved a hand dismissively “That’s never stopped Logan before.”

When Roman laughed then, he almost sounded like himself.

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#roman sanders #patton sanders #royality #sanders sides fic #virgil sanders #logan sanders #creativitwins #sanders sides #ts: fall of Romulus #this chapter ended up ENORMOUS #i had to cut it in two #rip analogical library times we will get to you next week.#sidespart writes

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