#the agonies of [okay the way that a story starting out like ''so This isn't a love story; alright?'' is always always a promise that it is]

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of. winston just so happening to run into rian somewhere & they have an Interaction: maybe originally with winston just largely unusually cagey & reluctant to be interacting much, while it's rian more determined to say Something, but it's fairly brief/cursory & yknow, not interacting w/him as a person b/c she doesn't see him that way / doesn't want to, more of a verbal [pitying pat on the head] At him from the place of superiority

then it's winston's yknow no more than 24 hr timeloop, where he can quickly notice that That was the most seemingly out of place And/Or significant event of the day, and focus on essentially trying to see how like oh here's another chance, rian's actually the one who started out with more active interest / motivation in having an interaction, so that's pretty promising, like, oh if he's more open to it, and then he's the one getting to have these repeat opportunities to trying to actually finally connect, say different things, say the same thing as last time but maybe he didn't quite phrase it the right way or give the perfect delivery to result in her understanding & sympathizing and whatall, like, can get frustrated & avoid the whole encounter entirely, can try to express that frustration & try having an argument instead to try to have some breakthrough & be better understood that way. might get seeming "good" results sometimes, like just getting a chance to talk uninterrupted for a minute, maybe getting some slightly less patronizing "yeah that sucks. sorry" from rian, maybe having one of their precedented, seemingly more amicable/successful interactions in commisserating about anything re: work, maybe times they land on like yeah let's have a phonecall / have lunch / shared interest movie meetups together later....but the loop continues, and winston can feel particularly let down / confused like aw but last time seemed actually & unusually good....

meanwhile the potential element of like, do they ever kiss or hook up or such? first of all, billions canon would never allow someone "worthier" than winston to do this w/him (& of course all the ppl who aren't good enough to Not be lower tier loser nerds also only have dating relationships for women (no loser nerd women here, & meanwhile like yeah the s1 gay guy, who was married, & died. all disastrous) to realize their mistake & dump them), but as soon as you're focusing on winston in his own right you're breaking the rules of billions canon already, so, sure. and it might also never happen. b/c it wouldn't even really change what winston's trying to do already, which is, have a genuine reciprocal connection. spoilers: how that's Always been the case. and like it would be clear from the start that it's just not a very practical goal lol, more of something that could maybe happen when like, just really trying to go all in, put in a lot of effort, try things a little differently, and that's a shakeup that could lead to whatever like more outlier spinoffs. maybe you do start hashing out this history where already the mutual knowledge of winston being down re: rian didn't actually fundamentally change the broader context of actually just wanting to have a basic amicable dynamic. argue about it, have this be something he tries to come back to & "redo" thrice, just trying to be Really Listened To & Understood, maybe sometimes it's like yeah sure yolo what if we'd ever hooked up & what if we did so now, just to both see if there was fuckall sort of catharsis or resolutions or anything in that, and if there's not, what changes, we shrug, & at least got the hookup out of it. but ofc it's not The Key to anything, & it's just clearly not like a viable goal to prioritize steering all the way towards that particular reciprocal connection event....and/or maybe it takes a while to determine this, b/c once it Does seem to lead to Something. hanging out at someone's place, maybe winston's used the logic of like "well if i give someone an orgasm they'll (be more likely to) give me the time of day for 35 seconds to talk to them," maybe it does seem to get him that, maybe they do seem to have some kind of breakthrough with like things getting emotional, personal, serious, deep....But I Still Doesn't Change Things, there's not Really a breakthrough. like the way we've seen rian willing to Tell Winston Things that are earnest & personal, cue 5x07, but it's just still unilateral, she's saying things At him, then cutting down & punishing his attempts to interact in turn, reciprocally, or even within the context of [allowed to have an unequal interaction that keeps a positive tone]....like maybe here she does let him say some stuff, does respond like Huh Yeah Sure. winston just trying to share like his feelings, about a lot of things, about the past few years, about his entire relationship with rian, with taylor, with his whole experience in that office hierarchy, in life prior....not even like oh hey maybe if we have sex & an honest conversation we could Be Together? could be a small distance [maybe...] kind of hope, but i don't think he could even pursue that, based on, again, the context of: where their relationship even is at the start, & that to be at this point of maybe hooking up during the nth loop, winston's tried n minus o (let's say o > n/2) times to break through & Really Connect As People, so he can't have the highest hopes that like, messing around could change things up Enough. but maybe one seeming very different, intense shared aftermath of talking & getting personal & shit happens, & he does get his hopes up about that, even as an outlier, and keep thinking like, if i could back to that situation, maybe there's something i could say, and that'd be the change that sticks

and it isn't, because like, they still don't really connect. sure maybe they could've hooked up sometimes, had pretty amicable (or, let's say, unhostile) conversations sometimes, maybe they can even have what really feels like it should've been this Significant Moment. rian sharing things & winston allowed to say stuff back, Seemingly, but yknow, her having more patience/flexibility, "humoring" him, maybe figuring they Are connecting in turn just b/c of the [well, this is what it'd look like / what it'd feature, right] exterior of it....she ofc doesn't have to listen and care. she can be amused by like this access to someone, find it nonthreatening b/c yknow, sure, we have this exchange, but it's isolated, i can feel "sympathetic" but in a way Above It, i can tell him shit & be gratified in having an audience, but i won't need support from him or any particular response, b/c i'd need to genuinely consider what his response is to do so....i mean, Rian's Relationship Advice where she thinks trust is so important that now she needs The Absence of Trust. it was threatening to Really have to trust someone (sure) so now she needs to have access to all their stuff to dig through it at any time (um,). be like, yolo, play around with [winston's Real Shit dialogue options], say her own real shit At him, perhaps be a little warmer, or just relatively less mean and does that count? and winston could feel like, Wow, surely that was something? there could be more there? i Almost got through to this person? i could've better expressed a deeper essence of a more personal truth? which would all just be shit he could end up thinking after interactions at [whatever location they meet up at] lol. which is why a "they could make out. hook up" route is Apropos but not Necessary. it would Not change things. talking at the store or bar or library or museum or wherever could/would inspire those same considerations. so it doesn't have to happen at all. and also could.

but it comes to the point which is The Point, which is that like, even with this Premise that is rian like, motivated to interact with Him, seemingly also seeking Something out of it, more sympathetic than before, outside fo the office or of really being coworkers....it hasn't changed, and there's nothing winston can do here to really, Really change things such that it still wouldn't basically "reset." because winston dealing with rian, and most people, in canon is very much like a doomed time loop anyways. day in & out & he keeps trying, often in slightly different ways, always with a basic hope & persistence, & his various efforts & approaches & attitudes & seeming moments of "maybe this means they're friends for real / now?" gets him nowhere. b/c rian doesn't see him as a person and won't interact with him in a way similarly striving for actual connection / a real relationship person to person. and where winston would just be in a very similar situation as he was in canon if he was in a literal loop where he really cannot do something "right" to connect with rian, even if her approach to him is at all different & seems more promising. she absolutely would not see him as a peer or be open to any genuine personal interaction or rethink how she'd been towards winston before. and it also just encapsulates winston's experience in general, trying to do things "right" to be treated w/basic respect, let alone like positive personal interest, by the people around him. have the valuable skill, act confident, be loyal, be friendly, take the L's endlessly, act according to other people's terms, acquiesce, apologize, criticize, confront, express his genuine feelings, express his wants & perspective, stop expressing anything b/c he was told to shut up & die, roll with it yolo, walk away, walk over, communicate, communicate a whole other way....it's never changed things with any of the people who were already uninterested in interacting with him person to person. and any better results were with people who were different, and, of course, b/c they wanted to do so, if even b/c they have a more general want to have a basic respect for others in whatever interaction lol. and then there's winston being caught up in how like, rian Is interested in interacting with him at all, just completely on her terms, Not interested in a genuine relationship, not interested in winston having any consistency in the dynamic & not always left adapting to what she does or doesn't want from him moment to moment, emphasis on "from him," it's not reciprocal, if their interaction seems more aligned / nonhostile, it's b/c that's what she wants for this moment, and when she wants him to shut up & go away, that gets to determine what happens just as much

that anyways yeah like over & over again trying to unilaterally change your approach trying to do things "right" this time & earn a breakthrough? that's what winston was already doing. of course he could only walk away. and his relationship with rian was just more of the same, even distilled, elevated....make it a time loop where supposedly he's got this one Especial chance here? where something's different, here's your opportunity, finally, just figure out how to do it right? well what else is new. him Trying over & over, him evidently never giving up entirely / gamely trying Again over & over, with different techniques, trying to smile through it one time, being visibly discouraged another, expressing hurt/frustration another. put it into a time loop where he can even make more dramatic moves and be outside work with it entirely? it still wouldn't be enough. what else is new....gotta walk away again, even if he "can't" lol. just like, do other shit. explore completely different experiences elsewhere, try connecting with other people, try just having his own thing going on, play things by ear, hook up w/somebody somewhere else entirely

like sure maybe the time loop is theoretically For some kind of breakthrough w/rian, but it's wrong. and then like i don't think it ends b/c winston has some discrete "breakthrough" in turn about Giving Up On Rian. can have some loops having interactions with her more in that vein, like, not focusing on any hopes, not trying to "make it work," maybe still kind of exploring, venturing, trying Different things, but more like, detached, observing, picking up on how it's Not working, and not as like notes for what He can do differently, just now like, the facts of how he's thwarted / blocked no matter what he's doing. but like, nobody's ever just flipping a switch like yep Now i've given up on this person happening to change if i just do things the right way, so idk, i think in this case it could simply stop looping Arbitrarily lol, indeed after he's spent a while realizing he should, again, just walk away from this perspective where this relationship changing is really possible, and that's On Him, and a while coming to terms with that, exploring & practicing it a bit, like, can have further interactions, just having that Understanding shift of how like, this person will sometimes take things from you / use you & won't have an actual genuine connection with you, and that's it....spend time & energy & focus on other shit entirely, have a better time, have a better idea of what he wants, & it just goes regular mode after a while, without winston having to figure out one particular "right" thing for him to do it

as a bonus, they could both be in a loop here lol, i.e. both aware of as much, but that just sure adds a lot of extra chaos, and, again, i don't think rian would change lol sooo. not Herself, not b/c of anything winston does. so really it's like, the same journey for winston, just potentially more difficult, if rian's decided like oh yeah i have to pat you on the head the right way or something? but where then it's just put on winston some more, like, you have to respond right, you have to not fuck up the "moment" we'd have here, what can You do differently....like, maybe rian could have some revelation here, i've sure thought about a scenario like that for non looping situations, but even in that case, if it involves winston, he'd have to be hurt in a way that registers Externally to Others like oh yeah i guess that's "objectively" bad....which they still might not, b/c it's winston, and obviously it puts winston Through It, what else is new, but, and then it's like, idk, maybe rian can have a flicker of real self questioning but, At What Cost, and then, again, wanting winston to just like get to walk away and not have to play a part to serve rian's journey(tm), which, don't even think one incident, even a jarring one, wouldn't quickly be pushed into "place" and like justified / smoothed over by the perspective she already has. dunno how she would change, but she'd have to actualy want to, & try to, & it couldn't be through winston saying shit the perfect way when she just inherently doesn't listen to him, and that winston's made to feel like the person who's Responsible, bringing it upon himself, being the one who's acting & existing "wrong," while rian (& others) merely have their Inevitable Reactions to him....but he should get to realize the way it Isn't his responsibility, actually, he's the one interested & trying, rian (& others) are not. not about to Put That On Him, and like, similar to "what else is new?" rian's been day in & day out Like This towards winston, with varying interactions with him, some even almost as though they're actually peers, And yet. winston's Been tormented & negatively affected like [years of this day in & out] like lol lmao well who cares though, we don't think about how he's a person inside just like us, including how he feels or how his life is when we're walking away leaving him alone in a room after hurting him as much as possible to feel better in turn & try to force him back in line

imagining some kind of like "okay but would provide some kind of 'cue' with more of a resolutiony vibe" here like well hmm. one day he happens to go for a meandering [new places / explore] walk and maybe he stumbles across an eatery he'd been to once like oh shit i remember i loved xyz item, maybe it's new to him and then he Discovers a fave. maybe he visits the math museum. he has a brief winsome interaction with a random person of mutual total delight without trying to "act right." these kinds of things, several of them. i do like him re/discovering some especial treat & partaking of that. or maybe it's not even just very especial lol, the spirit of deciding to give himself little a treat, as a treat, despite no indication from the universe or anyone else that he did fuckall extra "right" to have earned it. nothing even shifting right there, just have the rest of a day, go to sleep, it happens to be the next morning now, nice

#winston billions #riawin #the several disparate zany media reflections of relatively recently to go ''hmm the time loop you can't end &/or shouldn't be trying to.... #at least in the way you're 'supposed' to so far as you can tell''.... #the agonies of [okay the way that a story starting out like ''so This isn't a love story; alright?'' is always always a promise that it is] #put my head in my hands trying to start a book like ohhh no. then i wasn't enjoying it / intrigued insofar as; when like chapter 5 or w/e #was like ''sooo tehe remember how i said this isn't a love story? introducing the love story'' like i'm out lmfao #then my reflecting upon skinamarink like literally so true. while ofc not being literal but metaphors work better like here is the pov #which you Must accept the situation & limitations & Emotional Realities Of Those Even Involved manifested into Literal realities #it Is forever so far as you know! say it's just a few decades :) (a) You Don't Know That & (b) you're like 4? that is Many Lifetimes #damn if it's not [day in & day out] and/or the way you know that It Could Be #horrors of time loop is easy to stick on to like. say winston's trapped in rian's lmfao well that's wretched #either he does just have to take on responsibility. &/or likewise just have to go along & endure....what else is new?? #also going like hey....13 yr cicierega loop? so i didn't watch fionna & cake but ooh Metanarrative huh. kept tabs & got gists like Word.... #winston's ''correct'' time loop strat? do fuckall. he's just out here

[gavisuntiedboot]

Whenever you have the time could you write about Gavi with a gf that is a bit reserved and touch starved, her love language is physical touch but she doesn't initiate it with Gavi because her ex always told her she is clingy and annoying so she's insecure about it, so Gavi tries to show her it's okay by always cuddling her, or touching her in any way. And then over time she starts to initiate the cuddling/touching and Gavi is so proud and happy because she finally feels comfortable with him

Your writing is amazing btw, I've decided to wait for you to finish Just Pretend completely to continue reading it because whenever I finish the last chapter you post I get so sad because the next one isn't out yet and I can't live in the agony of not knowing what happens next

Pls hold my hand

"Princess, why do you have a sweatshirt that says ‘clingy’ on it?”

You looked over to Gavi, who plopped himself down on the couch next to you, grabbing the remote to cue the Netflix show the two of you had been watching for the last several weeks, eager to finally watch another episode, as the two of you held your shared series’ to a sacred standard. With only two episodes left of the latest “Drive to Survive”, you didn’t want to delay the experience with too much conversation.

"Just and inside joke between me and my friends.” You said, avoiding eye contact and focusing on the bag of m&m’s in front of you.

“Your friends think you’re clingy?” He asked, turning to face you as his hoodie slipped from his head, messy brown locks on full display. One of the things you adored about Pablo was how much he was always trying to protect you and look out for you. You weren’t really be confrontational, and this lead to some mistreatment and being pushed over at times by those close to you. Well, you used to. Since you and Pablo started dating about 8 months ago, he had been there to defend you against people who wanted to take advantage, and often was the voice reminding you to stick up for yourself.

“No no, it’s not them. It’s … something to do with my ex boyfriend. Do you still want to know?”

Gavi tensed at this. Despite you never saying anything explicitly negative about your boyfriend, all the stories Gavi heard made him hate the man with a burning passion. He had slowly but surely messed you up in so many ways, and now as Pablo worked to slowly unravel the knots tightened around your heart, he couldn’t help but curse the man that tied them to begin with.

“Yeah. You can tell me.”

You shifted in your seat, rather uncomfortable with the topic, but not wanting to lie to your boyfriend.

“Well, remember that little love languages quiz I made you do? Well I did mine like years ago, and I got physical touch. Which makes sense right because that’s one of yours and we seem to be getting along pretty well.” Gavi giggled at this, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and causing you to tense.

“Well, my last boyfriend wasn’t super into like… touching? Fuck that sounds sexual. I mean he didn’t really like being touched or cuddling or all that couple stuff. Didn’t like holding hands either. And like this one time, he was watching something on his computer and I was feeling bold or whatever and tried to sit on his lap — he hated that though. He liked pushed me onto the floor and told me to stop being clingy.” You forced out a laugh, trying to lighten the mood and soften the look of horror that had occupied Gavi’s face.

“That was actually why I broke up with him. Anyways I didn’t hug any of my friends for a month after that, and when they finally confronted me and I told them why, they got this made me for me. See, look at the sleeve,” you said, stretching out your arm to show him the ‘pls hold my hand’ embroidered on the sleeve. “So now whenever I’m in my clingy sweatshirt, my friends give me a ton of hugs and stuff. It’s funny. I think.” You say, winching slightly by the fact that Pablo’s eyebrows are still pushed together in anger.

He muttered his grievances about your boyfriend while cuddling closer to you, pulling you into his chest. Your cheeks warmed as they were pressed against Gavi’s beating heart. Despite the long time you had been dating Pablo, you still were shy when it came to initiating any sort of affection. You were too scared of annoying him and pushing him further away. So you remained shy and reserved, only responding to the touches he initiated.

“Give me your hand, silly. Never been with a girl who came with instructions before. Maybe I should get you a pair of panties that say-“ his sentence abruptly ended with a pillow to the face. You giggled, trying to pull away from his grasp, but he just pulled you closer, wrapping both arms around you now.

“Oh no no princesa. You’re not going anywhere. Now hush and make mean comments about Verstappen with me.”

~

Over the next few weeks, Pablo had made an active effort to make you more comfortable with being physical with him. Whenever the two of you were out, he held your hand or had you two link arms. He hugged you and kissed you on the cheek or forehead, asking, “you don’t want to give me a kiss back, Amor?” Puppy dog eyes and adorable pout on display, you coyly returned the peck to his jutted out lip. He smiled widely, teeth almost blinding you. He returned with an attack, kissing you across both cheeks, and ending with a searing kiss to the lips.

His favorite time was when you two watched shows together. He would always pull you in close, cuddling with you next to him on the couch. He would lean close and whisper his comments about the show into your ear, making your skin erupt in goosebumps as his breath famed over. He would press kisses into your temples, breathing in the sweet smell of your hair, and reminding you how much he loved being around you.

“You’re so warm amor - my personal furnace. I love it.”

“Your skin is so soft, feels so nice.”

“I wish I never had to get up from beside you.”

After three weeks of hand holding, kisses, and encouragement, you finally found the confidence to approach Gavi to heal your touch starvation. You put on your clingy hoodie again, laying out snacks on the coffee table and firing up her Netflix.

“Princesa I’m here! Where are you?”

Running to the door, you wrapped both arms around Gavi’s neck, pulling him into you and greeting him with a firm kiss. As he recovered from the unexpected greeting, you informed him that you would be in the living room pulling up a new series. He followed closely after kicking off his shoes, and peeling off his Barca jacket, picking up the hoodie you had laid out for him.

“Did you change shampoos? Used to be peach and now it’s strawberry.”

“How could you tell?” You asked, grabbing some drinks as Pablo got comfy on the couch. He crossed his arms across his chest, legs spread and back slumped.

“My clothes smell different around the shoulders. That’s usually where your wet hair sits.” He looked over at you, watching your eyes go wide. “Amor, you know I love you, stop being surprised when I actually act like it. Now what are we watching?”

Taking a deep breath, you walked back over. You grabbed the remote, pressing play.

“The new season of Black Mirror is out and I’m dying to see it. Heard this one is creepier than normal.” As you explained, you walked over to Gavi. Before he could move to make space for you on the sofa, you draped yourself over his lap. Your legs were to his side, back pressed to his chest. Your arms wrapped around his torso, and you laid your head on his shoulder. ‘Deep breaths it’s okay he’s not going to push you off.’

Pablo was stunned for a moment, so much so that he remained motionless. Once the shock wore off and he felt your slight tremble, he brought his muscled arms around you, pulling you tightly against him, soft lips pressing to your pulse point and freeing a soft gasp from your throat. He rested his head atop yours, the pressure and warmth comforting and familiar.

“Look at you being bold cariño. If I knew it would get you to sit in my lap we would’ve done this months ago.” You giggled softly in response, turning to face him. You rested your forehead against his, gazing deeply into the deep brown pools of his eyes. Leaning in, his lips eagerly met yours, refusing to release you. When you finally pulled away, you resumed your comfortable position in Pablo’s embrace. “I’m so proud of you, princesa.” The two of you fell into s comfortable silence, enjoying the show, squeezing each other tighter whenever things got intense.

“Can I get a matching clingy hoodie for whenever I want cuddles?” Pablo asked, smiling at you from above.

“I don’t think so, Pablito. You would never take it off.”

~~~

Guys I have the worst headacheeeeee but yay I posted!

#gavisuntiedboot #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi #pablo gavi imagine #gavi x reader #gavi x you #fc barca #gavi imagine #pablo gavi x reader fluff #pablo gavi x y/n #gavi x yn #gavi #gavi fluff #pablo gavi fluff #gavi fic #pablo gavi fanfic #pablo gavi fanfiction #gavi fanfic

[dorothygale123]

I just watched Yang Jian, soooo.... we're talking about that today.

More specifically these a-holes:

Buckle up.

Known as the 4 Heavenly kings, the 4 Diamond Kings of Heaven, or Fēng Tiáo Yǔ Shùn (風調雨順; lit. 'Good climate'), these guys play a pretty big part in the Buddhist religion. They are often depicted on doorways, two on each side, and like many other groups of 4 in Chinese myth are linked with the cardinal directions.

Mo Li Hung/Duōwén Tiānwáng/Vessavana/Bishamon-ten: Protector of the North and ruler of rain, as shown by his fancy umbrella, the Umbrella of Chaos. Opening it turns the skies pitch dark, and turning it upside down causes massive storms. (Fun fact: also one of the Japanese Shichi-fujin/7 Gods of Fortune)

Mo Li Ching/Zēngzhǎng Tiānwáng/Virūlhaka/Zōchō-ten: Protector of the South and a god of plant life and growth. He has a super special sword, Blue Cloud, that can cause massive black winds and turn into a bunch of spears that turn people to dust.

Mo Li Hai/Chíguó Tiānwáng/Dhatarattha/Jikoku-ten: Protector of the East and god of music. As a result, his main weapon is his sick guitar that can mess up nature and cause all sorts of weird crap to happen.

Mo Li Shou/Guăngmù Ti��nwáng/Virūpakkha/Kōmoku-ten: Protector of the East and an all-seeing deity that watches over everything. His tools are a magic bag and the goodest little guy Hua-hu Tiao, a white mink. His shoulder-buddy can also be a snake or dragon, depending on the version, but I like the fluffer.

Now, these guys have important jobs and are well respected in their own rights and stuff, but their most famous Chinese myth seems to be that time they got their asses kicked by Erlang Shen.

Okay, I guess that isn't entirely accurate as he and Nezha were mainly helping some guy named Huang Tianhua, but still. (Also don't expect any info on that Tianhua guy, I got nothing)

Anyways, the story starts when some guys pray for help in battle and for some reason the 4 brothers decide it's totally worth it to go down to the mortal realm themselves along with 1,000 celestial soldiers to kick some ass. Mo-li Shou sends his little floofer to go around and eat the opposing army's soldiers while the big boys kicked butt, but unfortunately one of the soldiers Hua-hu Tiao ate was Erlang Shen, here called by his other name Yang Jian. Erlang doesn't like that very much, so he rips his way out of Hua-hu, killing it, then transforms himself to look like it and sneaks back to his 'master,' waiting for the moment to strike.

Back at the plot, Nezha manages to break the 4 kings' divine weapons, making an opening for Tianhua to kill 3 of them, leaving only Mo-li Shou. Turning to his trusty fur-buddy to bail him out, Shou tries to sic Hua-hu at them, but surprise! That's actually Erlang Shen who bites his hand clean off. The ensuing agony gives Tianhua the distraction he needs to un-alive the last brother and win the day.

And then I guess they got out of the underworld on good behavior or something, because they continued to be important gods in the pantheon for many centuries to come.

￣\( ´-｀)/￣

Sh*tpost Masterlist

#mythology sh*tposting #chinese mythology #investiture of the gods #journey to the west #chinese myth character inspo #new gods yang jian #yang erlang #yang jian #erlang #erlang shen #4 heavenly kings #new gods #new gods nezha reborn #nezha #lego monkie kid #lmk

[remwrites]

rem's scarian rec list

i felt like compiling my absolute favourite scarian fics. enjoy.

always check tags before reading!!! there's a big mix of fics here

in no particular order:

Ashes by Raichett

Grian's still soul-linked to Scar, even after their return from Double Life. He's not dealing with it particularly healthily, but after three death games, who would be in the best frame of mind?

(so beside myself with the implications of grian still being bound to scar after double life HO HO BOY... plus scar's agony at unknowingly hurting grian WOOF LOVE IT)

one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i'm on by wizardlover

Grian and Scar deal with some of the fallout from Last Life.

(HRGERKGRKGERK this fic hurts so good. and the resolution is SO satisfying i've reread it like twenty times. and such fuckin good character voices too the dialogue is SMOOTH)

HCBBS (Hermitcraft Big Ballroom Scene) by romanocheese

Grian holds a ball to celebrate the finishing of the mansion. Scar appears in rather unexpected attire.

(SCAR IN A DRESS SCAR IN A DRESS SCAR IN A DRESS!!!! one of my first brainrot fics. adored showstopping amazing)

Beloved by spilledstardust

Scar has never played this game with the intention to win.

(this gut punch fic omg waaaaa the concept the execution i love)

a hundred kisses (then you start again) by backyardwizard

Grian and Scar spend the night together after finding out they're soulmates.

(this one always makes me feel shrimp emotions. the dialogue. the LOVE. GUUGRHHUH)

i am fed, but still i starve by definitelynotshouting

Another flash of teeth, dyed red in the light spilling through Grian's feathers. "The 'Not A Resistance' Resistance," he says, low and teasing, "would like to cordially invite you to kiss me stupid." 

(HOT HOT HOT super well written the kiss is phenomenal the character voices kill me and i love this fic so much im gonna lay down in the road)

get me with those green eyes, baby by Anonymous

Another "soulmates share more than just pain" smutfic to add to the collective pile - now with preening!

(gurgles incoherently. this one gets me. im such a damn sucker for good dialogue and this one nails it along with the bonus of soulbonds AND preening? im in heaven)

yours were the arms (that the whole world was in) by sparxwrites

He’s even less surprised when Grian returns that evening, looking furtive and ashamed, and guiding a golden-eyed Scar by the hand through the still-rigged front gate.

(sneaks a lil mumscarian in here. listen. i think abt this one often bc of the very in depth character understanding and relationship dynamics. mmmmmm so good)

if you like it... by GoodTimesWithScar

or, the "you got so drunk you asked your husband if he was single" trope, but with added mumbo being 100% done with this nonsense.

(how could i not. this fic is so fluffy and amazing and made me laugh so hard)

my ever after / is holding you by LovesickPrince

someone decides kidnapping King Scar’s beloved servant was a good idea. It really wasn’t.

(i think abt this fic at least once a daily. you've probably read it but if you haven't do yourself a favour and do. these IDIOTS i love them so much they're so well done)

This isn't a Love Story by Sleepless_in_Southlands

Grian is a priest of Fate, willing to sacrifice everything to ensure Scar, destined to be his final victim in the arena, doesn't fall in love with him along the way. Unfortunately for him, Scar seems intent on doing just the opposite.

(i talk abt this fic CONSTANTLY literally so bonkers over it i love it im obsessed it's perfect. i love this dynamic this concept this everything. absolute top tier no joke)

pull me from the earth by Niamh (saturniidaemon)

a midnight meeting, flowers, and the complicated nature of love.

(y'all like pain? bc this is fucking pain. literally just beyond wild over this. tread carefully)

wait the worst is yet to come by glossyblue

Grian bounces on the balls of his feet, delighted. “Okay. Okay, okay, so. You need to know how it works, then, don’t you? Kiss me.”

(just found this recently and it has not left the microwave of my brain. last life scar hurts so bad. everything in this fic hurts so bad. i love it)

the synonym of companion by errorryx

fool

mirror

entrapment

partner

(i love playing with words this fic does it so so so well omg. wonderful)

cheers everyone!!! xox rem

#scarian #scarian rec list #hermitshipping #fic rec #i made this while very tired so if i screwed up a link lemme know LMAO

[takerfoxx]

Okay, about halfway through my Evangelion rewatch, and I swear to God this show has taken over my life. Like, even though I've seen it before and recently watched the Rebuild films, it's just clicked with me in a way that hasn't happened in a very long time, and I am loving it.

Anyway.

One thing that I noticed is that while the show gets off on a very depressing note that shines a spotlight on Shinji's problems, from the agony he experiences while piloting the Eva to his crippling depression and everything, once he makes the decision to stay, the tone shifts. Like, all those issues don't really go away fully, but for a little bit, the show gets a lot more lighthearted, becoming almost a traditional giant robots fighting aliens-type show. Shinji's mental health improves exponentially, he forms several healthy relationships, he actually does rather well as a pilot, and things seem to be on the upswing for him.

And then Asuka shows up and...actually, things sort of get better?

Okay, let me explain. The first time I watched this show like fifteen years ago, I couldn't stand Asuka. I thought that she was an entitled, insecure brat, and her treatment of Shinji and Rei was totally uncalled for. However, now that I've experienced this story in both of its entireties, processed all the characters and the complexities of their portrayals, and experienced various interpretations of them through various fanfics, doujins, spin-offs, etc., revisiting the original Asuka that spawned all of these reactions is...honestly, it's not nearly as bad as I remember. Yeah, she's still an insecure brat, but I get it now. And her beef with Shinji and Rei comes from her literally being groomed to be the best Eva pilot imaginable while being traumatized by her mother's suicide, leading her to see the other two pilots as both a threat to her position as well as disappointments for not living up to her standards, hence her hostile treatment of them. Even still, we see that facade crack and she does display moments of genuine kindness and comradery with them.

Also, later events have caused people to view Shinji as something of the most extreme of doormats, but for now, he actually isn't? Like, okay, he's still kind of a pushover, but he does get frustrated, he does push back against Asuka, he does snap and start arguing. At the same time, you can also seem them trying to connect in their highly damaged, kind of awkward ways. It's not working, but you see the attempt, and overall, their dynamic does get played more for laughs and slapstick, at least in the early stages.

Of course, all of that goes out the window later on when everyone gets SOOOO much worse, but for now, it's nice to see these kids' relationship in it's healthiest stage. That scene where they all sit on the hill watching the stars together was honestly adorable, as well as Asuka deliberately eschewing a fancy steak dinner in favor of a trip to a ramen shack so Rei could participate.

As for me being ride or die for a poly ending for this trio, was it at all changed by revisiting the source material? Haha, NOPE! If anything, it was strengthened, given that all three have their unique dynamics with each other instead of the tired cliche of two people fighting over a third and it's all like, "Oh, who will they choose?" Y'ALL HAVE TWO HANDS APIECE!

Though on a more deeply personal side, I think that's why I've had Evangelion infest my mind like it has as of late. I just sort of relate to Shinji, Rei, and Asuka a whole bunch and see aspects of myself in all three, and I just kind of want them to be happy together, but, in this timeline at least, I know that that's not meant to be.

Speaking of complicated characters, Touji and Kensuke certainly are that, because on the one hand, they are kind of best boys in how ride or die they are for Shinji, basically becoming the close friends that he definitely needed and going out of their way to check in on him and support him and stick up for him.

On the other hand, they are also selling creep shots of Asuka and their other female classmates. Like, okay, 90's Japan culture and how that gets played for laughs back then, I get it. Still, not cool, guys. But I guess it just goes with the theme of how these are all messy individuals kind of stumbling their way through their messy lives, and everyone has their good and bad qualities.

Another observations. The virus takeover episode was one of the series' finest, as the whole bottle episode thing where the adults have to solve a unique problem while the pilots were otherwise out of the picture made for a great change of pace and was tense as hell. The dancing episode is a fan favorite for a reason and must've made the AsuShin ship explode early on.

Also, I know that we're supposed to hate the JSSDF because their rep was kind of a jerk to Misato and put down NERV and all (plus the later massacre in the movie), but to be honest, now knowing what we know about NERV and the Evangelions, he was kind of right in everything he was criticizing them about? And the fact that Jet Alone was deliberately sabotaged by NERV in a sort of petty dick-waving contest only puts them in a worse light. Honestly, if the two organizations had actually behaved like adults and cooperated, things might've gone so much better.

But then again, Gendo's got to Gendo, what with SEELE and their whole agenda and everything.

And on a more critical side!

Okay, I've said my piece about all of the weird creep shots in the Rebuild movies and how distracting and, well, uncomfortable they were. Like, okay, I know this whole series is low-key horny, and using Misato for some cheesecake shots, that's fine. But, like I said about Toji and Kensuke's creepy photo business...yeah. It's not as bad as it was in the Rebuild movies, which really took things way over the top, but it's still there.

And honestly, some of it you can get away with. Like, I don't have an issue with the scene between Shinji and Rei in the apartment, or Shinji ogling the girls in their swimsuits, or overhearing Asuka and Misato in the hotspring and having a reaction, because he's a repressed kid full of hormones in a very stressful situation. It makes sense that he would be like that. Same with Asuka's flirty side and how she hangs off of Kaji in a very inappropriate manner. Or Rei's lack of inhibitions. All of these make sense for their characters. I don't even have a problem with how Misato teases Shinji, because she's portrayed as somewhat of an emotionally stunted womanchild.

But when it's not from his or anyone else's point of view and you're just showing fanservice shots of your explicitly underaged characters, it gets kind of, well...

Okay, the point I'm making is...was there like a specific reason for the nude sync test? At all? Did it serve the plot in any way? Yeah, you need them in the plugs to get them out of the way so that the grown-ups could have an episode, but c'mon. Was it really necessary other than to get shots of them naked in their cockpits? Even from a character standpoint, I think Asuka at the very least would have protested more!

I dunno, I know it's a rampant problem in anime and always has been and you kind of need some level of tolerance, but that scene in particular did stand out as a great big, "Why is this happening?" Maybe if it had actually led to something it'd be better, but it didn't.

But Evangelion has always been messy and complicated, and that little bug aside, it's easy to see why it captured so many people's attention when it first came out and still does to this day. Hell, it's definitely consumed my every waking moment as of late.

However, Rei's little existential crisis is any indication, I'm approaching the part where things get really weird, so, that'll be...interesting.

#neon genesis evangelion #shinji ikari #asuka langley soryu #rei ayanami #misato katsuragi #analysis #eva spoilers

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

And when they're so unnaturally perfect at beating the monstrously powerful nobles, well, is it any wonder that Kamado starts to look at them and question? With every passing noble, with every report of how bizarrely easy the protag defeated them, it looks more and more suspicious. They're supposedly 15, and yet they breeze through fights with some of the most powerful Pokémon in Hisui? That's weird, especially in top of all their other weirdness. It's unnatural. It looks like they're cheating, like they know the secret code to beating these things... or maybe like they're the ones controlling it, so of course nothing ever hits them. He wants the frenzies quelled so he keeps sending them, but he doesn't trust them and when the red sky comes, he knows the protag is capable of dangerous, impossible things. Even when he attempts to apologize, in the back of his mind he feels the hair raising, insidious fear linger. That kid's not right. It probably isn't even a kid. And now he knows it can even control gods.

Oh god, that's horrifying. The idea that whenever they get just a bit too hurt than they think the Galaxy Team will allow, they just give up and let whatever it is kill them. Or if it's from fall damage and they break a leg, they hobble to the nearest aggressive Pokémon, gritting their teeth through the agony because they know it'll all be over soon. That's just. Wow. How messed up is their sense of self-preservation by the time they get to Ingo, if for months they've made the choice to die over things that wouldn't kill them, because until that point they didn't think it affected anyone but them and dying was faster and less painful than waiting to heal? How do you even begin to explain that to the person whose life you're ruining every time you do that?

And even if they did manage to tell him, or warn him, you're right that he's not just going to be okay with them dying over and over, for any reason. I think the only two options at that point are let Ingo help them fight the rest of the nobles and later the frenzied god, or hope that he becomes too dissociated to do much of anything and try to get it over quick. Yeah this kid has maybe permanently fucked him up, but there's no way he's just going to let them keep doing it alone, and if they try to sneak out to do it alone they better hope they get a great run on the first attempt because he's gonna notice the day resetting.

For bonus fridge horror from the protag, if you combine the two time loop ideas, at some point after they get home they learn that it wasn't just Ingo they were taking for a ride over and over, Emmet was getting yanked back too. In Emmet's case, on one hand it's a relief to know that it wasn't because his brother was dying twenty times in a row at multiple points over the past however long, but on the other, it's not a comfort at all to know it was instead a child who was dying that whole time

re: technically-unnecessary deaths, also on my mind: aren't there some things in the main story of pla that could theoretically be avoided, or done better, if you had the power of foresight and the ability to actually effect change? like growlithe's kidnapping, it works out fine in the end, but if the protag doesn't know that, just knows that palina's distraught and these bandits have some unspecified nefarious scheme involving the pup... what's the better way, chasing after them to firespit island and maybe being too late to stop whatever's going to happen... or excusing yourself for a moment, throwing yourself at the nearest alpha, and coming back prepared to stop it ever happening in the first place? or arezu's hiding lilligant's frenzy, trying to do everything herself and getting hurt for it. hell, even before you properly start the noble questline, there's all those people who get mortally wounded and possibly die trying to fight kleavor. if only protag could make it there before they do, that would be so many people saved. and if they're better, if they're faster, they could make it to the mirelands before ursaluna even gets pseudo-frenzied by lilligant. how perfect is good enough? when can they decide to settle for it?

...but of course, the more they use that knowledge, these things they shouldn't be able to know, the more suspicious kamado gets. the more suspicious everyone gets, really. sure, they saved the day and all, but how did they even know the day needed saving? suddenly kamado's claims that they're somehow linked to or causing the rift don't seem nearly so far-fetched, because if they weren't causing it, how could they predict it with such ease? it's a pretty delicate balancing act they've gotta do. not to mention that if it is only the single day they can reset over, there are gonna be some things that they can't go back and fix because it happened too long ago. which with the rest of everything, i feel would just add to their guilt and their determination to make every day count, make it perfect. i can imagine a really fucked up scenario of them essentially arguing/bargaining with ingo to be allowed to die, because no really, this time is important enough. this time i really do need to try again.

and also, how bad would it fuck you up mentally if not only did you have to die over and over and over—but you were also conditioning yourself that pain means death, always. that it doesn't matter if you escape with your life—all that means is you have to finish the job by yourself. would they stop fearing any kind of injury? or do they become incredibly phobic of it? or does it vary depending on the day. or on the scenario. they go into noble fights expecting to die, but are reflexively terrified of banal survey work because worse than dying, what if something breaks their leg but doesn't kill them? they tell ingo they're used to it. never mind that's not always true. it should be. it's only their fault it isn't-

and then if emmet's also experiencing this?? and also has NO explanation as to why?? and at least i imagine with ingo his day-to-day is already repetitive enough that he can sometimes just not look at the date and pretend everything's proceeding normally (not that ingo's situation is actually any better, it just sucks differently and is easier to dissociate your way through.) with emmet there's really no way for him to not be conscious of the fact that he's done fifty goddamn tuesdays in a row. boss emmet has suddenly become really inconsistent about showing up to work, which is very unusual, and everyone figures it's bc of ingo disappearing, but actually it's bc this is July 18th #108 (protag was fighting lilligant and she was really hard) and he has no way of knowing whether there's gonna be a #109 or not, and he's so fucking sick of fixing the same three problems over and over so he is Taking The Day Off. bye. by the way the fault you're running into is with the battery, and you should put two extra people on red line because there's going to be a bigger than anticipated crowd. ok, bye, he's going to chargestone cave to scream now.

#the nemesis speaks #the nemesis answers #anonymous #pokefic pitch #timeloop protag

[pansexualkiba]

i love how utterly fucking abysmal The Wild (2006) is. it's a horrible movie, and not even in a fun way. it's agony to watch. literally don't watch this movie. it's like. okay hold on.

so we all know how Disney's business plans worked in the late nineties to mid oughts, right? here's the big three:

appeal to the teens. because, ysee, word on the cool cat street was that disney just wasnt jivin with those rad hip youngsters, the teens. this was because then-CEO michael eisner learned his teenage son thought disney was like, soooo whatever. so in order to appeal to a wider demographic that potentially had money to spend on disney, Eisner would purposefully have things appeal to teens. or, at least, a 40-year-old's idea of what teens were like in the 1970s.

one-up Dreamworks Pictures. any disney fan will tell you that Michael Eisner and Jeffery Katzenberg were BEEFING, and this was reflected in the Disney-Dreamworks feud, not LEAST of which was that Dreamworks was created because Katzenberg was passed up for CEO in favor of Eisner.

jealousy. the most famous examples of this are Disneyland's California Adventure (a famously California-themed area in the California Disney park in the middle of the California-themed California) and Animal Kingdom (an entire third zoological park built just thirty minutes away from the famously safari-themed Busch Gardens (complete with live giraffes!) in Tampa, FL). if someone else did an idea, Eisner would try to have Disney do it better.

we caught up on that? good. most of you will be pointing something out by now: Eisner left disney in late 2005! The Wild was released in 2006! there's literally no way he could have been involved! which, ignoring how long movies take to make, COULD make this whole thing not an issue... except for one little event that happened in 2005. a little Dreamworks movie that was taking america by storm. the little-known snuff film... Madagascar (2005), released by Dreamworks to insane success. kids LOVED Madagascar, they loved King Julien, they loved the funny talking animals, they loved the use of old songs for fun interstitial plot beats, and they ESPECIALLY loved those silly little spy penguins. critics thought it was juvenile, however, so Madagascar now sits at a middling, but still positive, 55% critical reception on RT.

for a fun game, imagine for yourself what The Wild, released by Disney in 2006, could have a rating of. Go ahead, without looking it up, guess. we'll come back to that.

now, what i'm saying here isn't substantiated and the timeline doesn't exactly work, but hear me out. The Wild was often criticized for ripping off not only similar to Madagascar, but also The Lion King. Disney and Dreamworks's little pissing contest wasn't exactly subtle, and Eisner's jealousy when he saw how that stupid little animal movie was going over like gangbusters would've been enough for him to greenlight a similar idea, but with that little disney twist. and then he left, like a rat on a ship.

let's discuss the plot of The Wild.

we hear Samson the Lion start with telling someone a story about a previous fight he had had in The Wild, which is apparently just Africa. the logo is happening, yknow with the little firework line making an arc over the castle? except the much-younger teenage son then keeps interrupting by saying he's heard this story, and the firework keeps getting pulled back to the start in Comedic Fashion. the story is about how Samson, who apparently has sonic fucking roars, sent a bunch of wildebeests flying into the horizon, but then they had a big beefy furry wildebeest in the background who was like 46 feet tall. the son, Ryan the Lion, says he can feel the roar coming up, and Samson tells him to let loose, and Ryan does an alley cat soundbite because they didn't want to go to the Central Park Zoo and record actual lion cub noises.

By the way, this movie IS, in fact, opening in the Central Park Zoo. because we couldn't be more obvious. Samson the Lion is appropriately very famous, but not more famous than Nigel the Koala (voiced by Eddie Izzard), who is the basis of "the most popular doll in america", a pullstring plush koala that has two phrases: "I'm so cuddly; I like you!" and "I'm having a really nice day!". anyways, similar to madagascar, when the Central Park Zoo closes for the night, all the animals just get out and mingle. every single animal has a very distinct accent for some reason, as well??

anyways we're at this point introduced to the other main characters and their running jokes: Benny the Squirrel, whose joke is that he can't take a fucking hint; Bridgette the Giraffe, who is every sitcom woman in one and the unwilling target of Benny's affections; Nigel, who is extremely surly and the worst character in the movie; and Larry, a burmese python whose running gag is that he's stupid but sometimes he says something smart.

i'd like to just take an aside here to tell you all that Larry, despite being the idiot comic relief, ended up being my favorite character in the entire movie because the movie keeps forgetting he's supposed to be stupid?? like he'll just keep being very observant, but because every so often he'll drift into a nonsequitor all of his friends will angrily tell him to shut the fuck up, but it's like - bro he's the only one who's making sense. like at the end of the movie he puts forward an idea and before anyone can respond he goes "yeah, yeah, i know, shut up Larry :(" and it's like. bro get better friends.

anyways through a wacky series of events, Ryan's attempts to stop his friends from causing a Gazelle stampede cause the gazelles to stampede, and despite all of Ryans efforts to stop the stampede he caused, they run through the Turtle Curling competition the Samson is trying to win, costing Samson the Big Game, which means we gotta have Samson and Ryan having a big fight. i should mention that Ryan is insecure that he can't roar despite literally being prepubescent, and Samson is just like "are you acting up all because you can't roar?!" like DUDE THAT IS YOUR SON AND HE IS EIGHT. HIS VOICE HASN'T EVEN CRACKED YET.

Ryan then runs off to the green shipping crates that are being sent to New York's Harbor, and Samson and Benny go off to save Ryan after the workers somehow fucking miss the lion cub sleeping in broad fucking daylight. the dynamic duo is then joined by Bridgette (who knocks Benny off the truck), Nigel, and Larry. we then get a montage set to, and i am not fucking kidding, Clocks by Coldplay, where the animals experience the mysteriously-empty Times Square for the first time. more uhhhhh Wacky Hijinks ensue, and the rescue party are too late to get onto the cargo ship heading to africa, so they COMANDEER A PONTOON and tail the ship - after Benny rejoins them.

and here's where it gets to the point where i realized this movie was trying TOO hard to be dreamworks. if you'll recall, dreamworks likes to sneak in adult jokes, like famously Shrek looking at Duloc and going "do you think he's compensating for something". yknow, little innuendos like that.

Benny, having ridden in on a flock of Canadian Geese that mysteriously vanish after this scene after being hired as navigators, turns to Bridgette and, in an attempt to flirt with her, says that he's an expert goose rider, and that he rides bareback, and then slaps his flank.

it was becoming clear to me that every character was slowly becoming unmanageable to feel sympathy for.

after what would be, realistically, a few months - much too long for a pontoon to remain fueled, and WELL too long for a ship with passengers and sans supplies to remain populated, they reach the shores of Africa, which is... well it's not the shores of Madagascar, despite it literally being exactly like that scene in Madagascar where the animals are beholden to the rich jungles of madagascar. but for some reason this area of Africa not only has rich jungles, but ALSO an ACTIVE VOLCANO centrally located in the jungle. this is the purpose of the green transport crates: the wild animals are being rescued from an impending eruption. this is never brought up, but Ryan confuses the situation despite spending LITERAL MONTHS on that ship and potentially- actually

now that i'm writing this out, HOW DID NO ONE ON THE FUCKING SHIP. NOTICE THEY HAD AN ADOLESCENT LION CUB ON THE- THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE EMPTY CRATES. THEY WOULDN'T HAVE. NOTICED THE. LION CUB???? PROBABLY MEWLING FOR HELP???? IN A CONTAINER WITH OPEN-AIR WINDOWS????? BRO????

anyways Ryan runs into The Wild, and Samson and friends run after Ryan but lose him somehow. Samson, whose main character trait is that everyone else is saying that he always talks about being a real child of the Wilderness (notice that Samson himself never backs this up), eventually comes clean about his past after a scene with a hyrax that goes WAY too long in anyone's opinion - Samson was sold to the zoo after being raised in the circus. Samson was Ryan's age, as in like eight years old, when he was forced to attempt to roar in front of an audience, and when he couldn't because he was eight, he was SOLD TO THE ZOO. and his father's parting words were "if you had been born in the wild, you would have been able to roar" LIKE SIR YOUR SON IS STILL A CHILD DOMESTICATION DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T FUCKING- HELLO???

anyways everyone treats this as some Big Betrayal, and Samson goes off on his own to find Ryan. meanwhile Nigel gets kidnapped by wildebeests.

yes, there are wildebeests living in this fucking jungle.

Nigel is then brought to the ACTIVE VOLCANO, where the WILDEBEESTS HAVE STARTED A DEATH CULT. they are led by William Shatner Wildebeest whose name i have forgotten because despite being the main antagonist he was revealed fifty minutes into a seventy-minute movie. turns out, one of those Nigel dolls fell off of a cropduster plane over this nondescript african jungle, interrupting a lion hunt against this wildebeest despite the fact that neither of these animals live in the jungle. the pullstring then scared the lions into fleeing, and Shatbeest took this as an OMEN FROM GOD to START A DEATH CULT where ALL WILDEBEESTS WILL BECOME CARNIVORES AND ALL LIONS WILL BECOME HERBIVORES. also he made a whole song out of the "I'm having a really nice day!" voiceline complete with choreography. this is somehow not only plot important but also instrumental in his downfall.

anyways Nigel immediately gets drunk with power because he has no morals and is the worst character in the movie.

the wildebeests kidnap Bridgette and Larry and knock Benny out. have you noticed Benny just keeps getting put offscreen so he can solve the plot later? anyways Samson hallucinates dr seuss colors because he's activating his "predator instincts" to find his cub, which - red flag - but it also works. and then the wildebeests kidnap ryan after throwing Samson off a cliff, and you would not believe how much i wanted him dead so the movie would be over.

it was around this time that i realized i would much rather watch cars 2 again. my girlfriend had long since admitted that.

Benny wakes up in the middle of a bunch of German scarabs (who are all like. yodelling milkmaid types?????) who thought he was shit, and tbh yeah good call, but anyways Benny wakes up Samson who is somehow completely unharmed from being dropped off a cliff with an entire tree on top of him. Samson then has a tangible hallucination pointing them to the volcano, which he and Benny both see.

Nigel meanwhile actually has to weigh the pros and cons of siding with the wildebeests and watching them cook and eat his friends, or saving his friends. Shatbeest meanwhile REALLY wants to eat a LITERAL COWERING CHILD.

outside the volcano, we find out that Samson's hallucinations are a LITERAL LEGION OF SECRET AGENT CHAMELEONS who are trying to get people to defeat the wildebeests - which, like, WHY DID YOU NEED THESE TWO YOKELS???? YOU'RE LIKE. THERE'S A WHOLE JUNGLE OF POORLY-PLACED ANIMALS. THERE ARE OTHER LIONS IN THE JUNGLE SURELY. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIONS IN THE FLASHBACK??

anyways the chameleons can make benny and samson invisible by covering them and going transparent. obviously.

the finale is incredibly like. it's such a nothing finale. the chameleons barely factor into it?? like Benny and Samson are just suddenly there, and Shatbeest keeps physically overpowering Samson and later Ryan, but Shatbeest angers the other wildebeests because one of them couldn't get the choreography right and so he's kicked towards the sacrifices as one of them. and then Ryan is like "aw dad... i wish you had the father i had. :(" which like. WHEN was it explained to you what happened with your dad. you were JUST told that your dad was born in captivity you don't know WHAT HAPPENED you just IMMEDIATELY went to being mean to him. and that inspires the wildebeests to turn on Shatbeest because this is the lion king so we gotta have that hyenas eat scar scene. but then the volcano, the LITERAL ACTUAL VOLCANO EVERYONE'S BEEN INSIDE OF THIS WHOLE TIME, starts to erupt, and Shatbeest is crushed under rocks.

everyone gets to the pontoon, and Samson, Ryan, the group, the wildebeests, and for some reason the chameleons all escape just as the island erupts, and it's like, fuck all the other bitches right? anyways then we have a heartfelt moment immediately undercut by the animated movie dance party ending where Nigel the koala just starts twerking. Benny stops being sexist out of complete nowhere despite never learning his lesson and this is completely undercut by Bridgette kissing him and revealing she was into being objectified this whole time, she just wanted Benny to be Woke about it. every single character in this movie was awful (except Larry i just feel bad for him) and in my mind the movie ends with that fucking pontoon sinking in the middle of the atlantic for exceeding its weight limit.

it's such a nothing movie. every scene feels like it's from something else. my girlfriend maintains that everyone who defends this movie is a corporate shill. my experience with this movie was i watched it multiple times as a kid, and i had somehow convinced myself this WASN'T a disney movie and was instead made by one of those low-budget studios that makes a single animated film before vanishing forever. it feels like a parody of itself, like someone had made a prior movie that doesn't exist that they then warped with ten consecutive funhouse mirrors.

it feels like michael eisner's teen son tried to make madagascar but Edgy.

and now we come back to the fun game from before the cut. what was the number you came up with on rotten tomatoes? what would rotten tomatoes rate this movie that has effectively been scrubbed from disney's records? Madagascar has 55%, what could its ugly step-reflection be?

...well that's not good.

#disney #long post #seriously this is REALLY long #the wild #the wild (2006) #movie review

[clay-cuttlefish]

Forging ahead with 52. #19 to #38. It's so much.

#19

The Evil Skeets plot is great. According to the omnibus it was a very late change away from a generic broken-time story, and I can kinda see that with how some of the earlier evil Skeets behavior doesn't seem super purposeful, but it all works for me.

#20

Mostly spaceguy plot that I don't care much about. The fight's cool at least.

I have no idea what fan speculation was like at the time but the idea of Supernova Jason Todd conspiracy theories is extremely funny so I support the intentional red herrings here.

#21

I keep changing my mind on which storylines I like more as I go. How could I not love Natasha?

#22

Dr. Magnus is back! I wish him being bipolar was handled more sensitively, the whole "oh the medicine keeps me from going ~crazy~" thing is :/, but I'm willing to read it charitably as his own perspective because I like him. He's a psychotic DC character who's heroic and not spooky or magical, just a guy who really doesn't want to have another depersonalization episode and has some internalized sanism about it, it could be so much worse.

#23

I like that Vic's more jaded to the horrors he can't stop than Renee is. He's had a lot of time to get used to the idea he can't save everyone - back in his own book he would've thrown himself in harm's way just like she wants to, but he's gotten better at not starting fights he can't win.

Hate to give Geoff Johns credit for anything but "What the hell are you doing?" "Seeing if it's contagious." is really good.

#24

"We were both guilty of ignoring Ted" Pretty sure Booster nearly died because he dropped everything to help but okay.

Osiris is just a kid...

Introducing a First Nations hero just to kill him off and give his stuff to a white dude sucks.

#25

Alan's out of the spaceguy zone and doing his own thing.

Almost halfway and the threads are still only starting to link up.

#26

I cannot get enough of Vic and Renee being friends with the Black Marvels. It's very sweet!

Tot my friend Tot :)

This is just a nice moment for them.

#27

I'm very into how Evil Skeets is drawn. He manages to be expressive despite having no moving features, it's a good trick.

Ohhh no it's now. I thought I had another issue, but no, this is the turning point.

#28

THE QUESTIONS!!! Love how they're heckling Kate together.

Kate is so cool.

Oh right, the spaceguys are still here.

#29

The way the mad science island handles mental illness generally sucks, but it's almost hitting at something interesting with Will being forced off his medication for the sake of "creativity".

#30

Get out of here Bruce.

I am going to cry!

#31

I don't even dislike the spaceguys really, but cmon, more of Ralph or Nat would've been better.

Ralph's still a detective even at his lowest! Strong foreshadowing.

#32

Uh oh, Ralph.

#33

Ohhh Charlie.

Him hallucinating Myra? Only able to admit he loved her at the very end?? It takes me out!

Almost all of his dialogue is straight from the O'Neil run. Rucka describes rereading the entire run just to write this issue because he had to get this right, and it shows.

There's a reason I consider O'Neil and Rucka the essential Question writers, and all the other takes to be interesting sidenotes.

#34

The kids aren't doing so well.

aaaaaaaa

#35

Hands you a picture of Nat. Hands you a picture of Nat. Hands you a picture of Nat.

Lex is the best villain in 52 and it isn't even close to a competition.

#36

AAAAAAA

Fuck dude! Nothing coherent to say here! Look at them!

#37

Wild emotional roller coaster for me as I go from Renee agony to cheering about Booster. My first read of this was a Time.

It's such a fun mystery. I can confirm it works if you know nothing about comics and are just along for the ride, and it comes together so well on the reread.

Mayor Ollie!

#38

AAAAAAA

"I'm afraid of who I'll become without you..." How am I meant to be normal about this!

I had to read this in two pieces because it made me need to get up and pace. It has done this every time I have read it. I am physically incapable of being normal about this.

Head in my hands. Comics are good and worth reading actually.

#clayposts #clayreads #the question #vic sage #renee montoya

[leothil]

if the writers planned the whole season out in advance then eddie and marisol makes even less sense because they literally didn't even have a moment or an interaction in the episode she appeared in and she was largely forgettable. And please don't sit there and suggest that Natalia Ms Buck's death was so cool is the couch he's been searching for since the premiere cause that makes even less sense.

Okay listen, I get that you're worried about your preferred ship, but you're drawing some really weird conclusions completely based in internal agony.

We still don't know if Marisol is back to date Eddie or not. We'll know more tonight (or tomorrow, in my case), and if she is there to date Eddie, then we'll see how it's presented and can start speculating with some actual canon to back it up. And yes, the writers always plan for season-long arcs and stories from the very beginning of starting to put together a season. Scripts for specific episodes aren't written until later, of course, but the big themes and stories are brainstormed and agreed upon at an early stage. For example, Juan Carlos Coto said this after 6x02:

[Image ID: a tweet from Juan Carlos Coto @ brasstab posted 7:02 AM Sep 27, 2022 (UTC+2 time zone). The tweet reads: "when the idea for this ending hit us in the writers' room, we knew we had a season #911onFox" /end ID]

This could be hinting at several things - Buck's upset over Levi and the happiness convention and Bathena never getting to go on their honeymoon being two of them. We'll know more once we see the last two episodes.

But my point is, being worried about potential new love interests simply seems very unnecessary to me, because the way their stories this season have been framed, there's been so much pointing to buddie. Remember how in 6A people were complaining that we got the initial Buckley-Diaz dinner in 6x01 and then very few buddie-on-their-own scenes the rest of the half-season while we got much more Hen/Buck and Chimney/Eddie content? It seems very obvious, to me at least, that they gave us that not just to deepen those on-screen relationships (which are so great!), but also so we'd be able to contrast those interactions to the many Buck/Eddie/Christopher scenes we got in the beginning of 6B. That's what the writers do, and what they are so good at: they see the whole picture, and know how to reach both forwards and backwards in the show's timeline to make us react to what we're seeing on the screen.

I've been watching seasons 2-4 with my sister while s6 has aired, and we all love to talk about the shift in buddie's dynamic between season 2 and 3 (which is huge! Don't get me wrong!), but let me tell you, the difference to s6 is also much bigger than I think a lot of people realise. (I actually feel like this second shift really started in s5, but I'll have more thoughts on that once I've gotten to rewatch it.)

And lastly, if you think I'd suggest that Natalia is Buck's endgame, I don't know who you've been following on here, but it sure isn't me.

#ask frida #anon

[anichibicore]

i have. some thoughts i wanna dump out about aini actually and if i do it on twitter my friend WHO STILL HASN'T STARTED THE GAME will see it and then i'll scream because i've done a fantastic job of not spoiling anything for her SO ANYWAY ANI THOUGHTS TIME. ALSO this isn't everything i just wanna get the loudest thoughts out

i'll be honest i wasn't expecting to like tama much but she ended up being one of my favorites actually. funny little ai-ball so silly and actually such a sweetheart. and she supports the lgbtq. icon

RYUKI i am sooooooooo normal about him. sosososososo SO normal. i started playing and when it got to his pov i really was like the "oh he's just a little guy! oh he's a bit fucked up actually" meme and just. gently holding him. uchikoshi dumped all the trauma he could on this man just to see how much it would take to completely break him i swear. also i kept making fun of him and his so obvious crush on date but also i completely understood because i too love pathetic men. which i'll be honest i was not expecting him to. actually have a thing for date. gay rights!

speaking of date, all i am saying is: i understand where ryuki is coming from. i want to kiss him actually. pathetic man. why are you so hot with an eyepatch.

mizuki all grown up! i loved her interactions with aiba and boss, they are just so good hsjejf.

ALSO i honestly? really liked just boss's casual mention that she has a daughter (bibi) in throwaway lines and just! i didn't think anything of it at the time but god damn uchikoshi you mastermind

mmmmmmmmm one thing i'm really Not Fond Of is kizuna and lien's relationship like. i think if lien didn't literally hit on her the moment he saw her and LITERALLY FOLLOWED HER to pressure her into a relationship, and if kizuna was not 18 AT THE TIME, i'd be at least a little okay with it? individually i think they're pretty good characters and i really do like their arcs but their relationship just ruins it for me. i was REALLY hoping they wouldn't go that way, ESPECIALLY with kizuna shooting down his advances initially but i'm clearly asking for too much from a spike chunsoft game. same goes for gen and amame but to a lesser extent because 1 that remains unrequited (or at least i think it does. i think amame just sees gen as a father figure of sorts) and 2 the two don't eat up screenstime for a focus on a romantic relationship and therefore i can simply Look Away. I Do Not See. also mizuki wouldn't encourage that who brainwashed her into thinking it's okay

SPEAKING OF, i actually did not expect amame to be a major character in the game (if that was shown in a trailer then i am a clown bc i watched like. the initial teaser and the reveal trailer and that's it) and i especially didn't expect to like her as much as i did. i loved how creepy her somniums were AND how the answers to the questions in second one as mizuki were the same as the ones in the first as ryuki like. sorta foreshadowing her whole story? ALSO SHE STRAIGHT UP MURDERED URU I HONESTLY DIDN'T EXPECT THAT. all i have left to say is god damn faye mata is a good va. also the gen and amame route nearly made me cry. i did in fact have tears welling up.

i want to punt chikara into the ocean. that's all

OH ALSO the masked woman/bibi's somnium was obnoxious tbh. i got so fuckin frustrated with it. tho idk if i just got lucky or what but somehow not looking at chikara made him? not notice me as much? i have no fuckin clue. anyway

speaking of somniums, tokiko's was super creepy but like. in a different way than amame's. you know what i mean. the only thing i didn't like about it was the ringing sound in the soundtrack. and how slowly you move, especially when you're swimming to the nirvana initiative for the last mental lock. agony.

the explosion route hurt me in ways i cannot describe. i was semi-livemessaging my friend bits and pieces of my playthrough in the most spoiler free way i could and. i'm just putting these here and letting them speak for me

ALSO I WANNA SHARE ryuki taking a bullet for date and seemingly dying IN HIS ARMS NO LESS made me almost cry AGAIN. THIS GAME BROKE ME EMOTIONALLY THREE TIMES. i genuinely thought he was dead too and i did not know how to feel. and as funny as date straight up acting like a cat with his head on hitomi's lap was, the way he reacts when mizuki asks him about ryuki just. ow?

i'm not saying i lowkey ship date and ryuki but i lowkey ship date and ryuki

on a lighter note, kizuna breaking out a gatling gun and screaming "come get some, motherfuckers" made me laugh like. way harder than it probably should've. i saved it on my switch because it was too funny not to.

ALSO the whole thing with the true flowchart confused me at first but after thinking it over and getting it explained a bit, it makes a lot more sense. especially since there are two mizukis and the whole thing with aiba being on a secret mission, and also the fact mizuki didn't question date being alive when he saved her from tearer in the abandoned warehouse.

tearer's somnium was literally just a walking zero escape reference and i was living. i didn't properly finish all the puzzles in one room because the first two digits for the password were 9 and i went "999 moment" and got it right. and laughed hysterically. i think the music for those rooms was taken straight from ZE too but idk for sure. i wouldn't be surprised tho

as much as i Don't Like moma being a massive creep in this game, the bits with the vochaloco were pretty funny to me. i hope iris's va had fun recording those lines because hearing iris say fuck is great.

mama :) that's it that's the thought i just love mama.

i think we deserved to see/hear marco personally. there are concepts of a like. genderbent aiba in the dream album (i don't remember which somnium) and i know it sounds basic and lazy of me but i'm pretending that's what he looks like.

i've been typing for like two hours lmao but anyway my conclusion in short is the game has a few problems but overall i had a great time with it. also ryuki is a fruit. that's all

#ai nirvana initiative #aini spoilers #nirvanai spoilers #ai the somnium files #ai nirvana initiative spoilers #aniposts

[meadowmines]

OC-Tober Day 27: Strange

[In which Aoyagi meets the world's unluckiest yakuza]

You'd think Aoyagi would have learned by now, right? He's been in Sotenbori for three years. He should know by now that any time he starts thinking he's seen all the crazy shit this town has to offer, it's going to scrape up some more to throw at him.

Or, you know, to drop on his head from who knows how many stories up.

He's just walking down the street, minding his business, when something falls on his head. Something light enough, and soft enough, and small enough not to hurt a bit, but it's a little weird because when he finally manages to actually catch whatever the hell it is, it turns out to be an omamori. You know, those little cloth pouch charm thingies you get at shrines and whatnot? One of those. Pretty common in Japan. They do not, however, generally tend to just up and fall out of the sky.

"The hell?" Aoyagi mutters, more to himself than anyone around, and looks up to see if he can see why it's suddenly started raining lucky charms. He immediately wishes he hadn't looked up, because there is a whole ass man following that omamori down. The guy is screaming. Aoyagi would do likewise if he wasn't frozen to the spot by the sheer absurdity of the situation.

Next thing Aoyagi knows he's on his back with the wind knocked out of him and some asshole is sprawled out on top of him. "My dude," he wheezes, trying to get some purchase to shove the dude off, "what the pan fried fuck are ya doin'?"

"Oof..." The guy clumsily rolls off Aoyagi and onto his back. He's wearing a pin, Aoyagi notices. Go-Ryu Clan, looks like. Great. The guy sits up and starts patting his pockets like he's looking for something, without so much as a sorry I fell on you or hey man you okay? or even kiss my ass in Aoyagi's general direction. "Aw, shit... where is it..."

Where is what? ...shit, does he mean... "This what yer lookin' for?" Aoyagi asks, holding up the omamori. "I'm fine, by the way. Thanks fer askin'."

"Ah--!" The guy's eyes light up. "Wh-where'd ya get that!?"

"It fell on my head," Aoyagi says.

"Give it back! I need it!" And the guy reaches out to grab the charm and just as he does, a bucket falls--presumably from whatever rooftop the guy and his charm fell from--and lands square on his noggin.

"Holy shit," Aoyagi wheezes while the guy dances around clutching his head in agony. "Here, take it, ya really do need it."

The guy snatches his charm back and hobbles off without a further word. Two whole steps later he plants his foot on a banana peel at the worst possible angle. Aoyagi watches, with mingled horror and awe, as the dude surfs that banana peel a good ten or fifteen feet down the road. And then he tumbles ass-over-teakettle and... okay, the good news is, he does not smash his face on the pavement. The bad news is, he's smashed his face right into the shapely rear end of a pretty gal in a very short dress... and her very large, very buff boyfriend isn't amused.

One thorough ass-kicking later the dude staggers to his feet, shakes the cobwebs out, and turns to glare daggers at Aoyagi. "Oh, what?" he hollers. "Ya got somethin' to say?"

Aoyagi bites his lip and shakes his head.

"Say," the guy says. "You're one of Nishitani's, ain't ya? Well, I'm havin' a shitty day and I'm takin' it out on yer ass!"

"Oh boy," Aoyagi sighs, squaring up.

The squaring up turns out to be completely unnecessary. The Go-Ryu dude can't seem to take one step without tripping over his own feet, or getting something thrown at him by passing randos, or getting his pants caught on something, or stepping in gum. In the end the dude is flat on his back and Aoyagi didn't have to throw a single punch.

"Wow," he says. "God really just said 'fuck that guy in particular.'"

The guy staggers to his feet and points an accusing finger at Aoyagi. "This ain't over, asshole!" he threatens, and for a hot second there it looks like he might get out of this with some little shred of dignity left. Until he trips over some garbage and flips right over the guardrail and into the river.

---

Aoyagi runs into this asshole a few more times over the next week or so. Apparently his name is Uchida, according to one of the Go-Ryu guys Aoyagi sees hanging out at Civic Association HQ now and then, and apparently his shit luck is just... a thing. It wasn't always, it's a new thing, but it is nonetheless a thing that is known.

Running into Uchida always goes something like this:

Aoyagi sees him trying to buy good luck charms or beg the local priest to uncurse him

The charms don't work, or nothing the priest can do seems to help

He gets mad about it and decides to take it out on Aoyagi

God once again says "fuck this guy in particular" and Uchida ends up face down on the ground without Aoyagi having to lift a finger

If Aoyagi is being honest, he's starting to feel bad for the guy but also Uchida's kind of a dick so he doesn't feel too bad.

So this little song and dance starts to play out again one night while Aoyagi is walking by the shrine.

"Sir, I'm telling you, I've done everything I can do!" he hears the priest plead and sure enough, there's Uchida.

"Ya didn't even try!" Uchida snaps back. "C'mon, ain't ya got some special exorcisms or-or some special incense to wave over me, or--" And right about that time, there are bird noises and something unpleasant splats right on the top of Uchida's head. "Ya see that!? This kinda shit happens all day, every day! Birds shittin' on me, punks throwin' shit at me, spillin' all my food down the front of my brand new shirt, I damn near set the boss's car on fire yesterday--it's been like this ever since my birthday and I--" And that's when he notices Aoyagi spectating. "YOU!"

Aoyagi turns. Looks behind him. Sees nobody. Looks back at Uchida, thumb pointed at his own chest.

"Yeah, you!" Uchida shakes a finger at him. "It's you, ain't it? Ya put some kinda curse on me!"

"Dude," Aoyagi says.

"Hang on, hang on--" The priest shakes his head. "Your birthday!? How old--"

"Hold that thought, Yer Holiness," Uchida snarls as he squares up. "I got an ass to beat."

"Whoa! Whoa!" Aoyagi hollers. "Not in the shrine!"

Up until now, Aoyagi's strategy for fighting Uchida has been--well, he doesn't have a strategy because all he's had to do is stand here and watch the universe shit all over the guy. Except now... well, now, Uchida is chasing him. Aoyagi realizes, too late, exactly what he's doing. What is he doing? Why, he's figured out that he can weaponize his shit luck! And he's trying to get as close to Aoyagi as he can in the hopes that God says "fuck BOTH of these guys in particular!" A hornet nest falls from an overhang somewhere and bounces off Uchida's head and its occupants are pissed about it. A noxious cloud erupts from a nearby storm drain and leaves them both choking. Aoyagi hears a low rumble of thunder in the distance and no, he is not the tallest thing around but the way things are going, the lightning might decide to change things up a little and go right for the short dude if this goes on much longer...

So. He did not expect to have to actually fight Uchida while also trying to keep enough distance to avoid Shit Luck Splash Damage. But, somehow, when the dust clears, Aoyagi is still more or less upright and Uchida is, once again, face down on the pavement.

"The hell, man!?" Aoyagi wheezes as Uchida staggers to his feet.

"If I gotta go like this," Uchida wheezes back, "I'm takin' you with me!"

"Hold on! Hold on a minute!" The priest jumps in between them, hands up. "You said all of this started on your birthday? How old did you turn?"

This question clearly catches Uchida off guard, and if he's being honest Aoyagi isn't sure where it's going either. "Forty-two," Uchida says. "What about it?"

"Ooh," the priest says with a grimace. "Well, that kind of explains it, but--"

"It don't explain shit!" Uchida snaps. "What's my age got to do with anything?"

"Well, you see... forty-two's a bad luck year for men. One of the worst, in fact." The priest frowns. "But I have to say, I've never seen one this bad! Did anything else strange happen on your birthday?"

Well, now Aoyagi can't leave, because this is getting interesting.

"Uhhhhh... my ma sent me some socks. Y'know. As a present. Said she was sendin' me three pairs but..." Uchida gestures vaguely. "The package showed up kinda mangled, so there was just two pairs..."

"So... four socks total," Aoyagi mutters, mostly to himself. "Uh-oh..."

Four gifts: bad luck.

"And when I went to open 'em, this bigass spider came crawlin' outta the package and I kinda freaked out n..." Uchida mimes swatting some invisible critter.

"I see, I see..." The priest nods grimly. "And what time was this?"

"Uhhhhh... mail comes pretty early at my place so... 'bout nine in the morning."

Killing spiders in the morning: bad luck.

"An' then... ya know how it is, ya go out with yer friends, have some drinks, have a good time n' next thing ya know it's midnight n' ya still gotta do yer laundry n' shit n' ya can't just leave it in the washer all night..."

"So you hung it out to dry," the priest says, again with that grim look. "At night."

Hanging your laundry out to dry at night: bad luck.

"And..." Uchida's lower lip quivers. Yep, he's figured it out. "And then... well, I was drunk n' tired n' I just kinda fell into bed with all my clothes on..."

"Including your socks," the priest says. It's not a question. Uchida hangs his head.

Sleeping with your socks on: you guessed it.

"Well," the priest says. "At this point, there's really only one thing you can do."

"Oh yeah?" Uchida perks up. "What is it? Tell me! I'll do anything!"

The priest gives Uchida a hearty slap on the shoulder. "Hope you make it to forty-three." And with that, he walks off.

"H-hey," Uchida splutters, but it's too late. The priest is gone. "Aw, shit."

"Sorry," Aoyagi says.

"Ah well." Uchida shrugs and grins. "If I gotta suffer, so do you."

"Uh!?"

Uchida's grin turns nasty. "Yer in with the Civic Association, ain't ya? Well, count me in too! I'm stickin' to ya like glue for a whole-ass year."

"Oh HELL no!" Aoyagi yelps, backing away. It's no use. "Stay away from me! Don't come any closer, ya fuckin' human lightning rod!" Maybe, Aoyagi thinks as an impossibly tall and horribly wobbly stack of trash cans finally overbalances and starts to fall in their exact direction, he can just ditch the guy at HQ.

#oc-tober #yakuza #yakuza oc #aoyagi saga

[erstwhilesparrow]

all right, let's try this again, okay?

i want to soften this by starting it with sometimes. there is no sometimes about this. there was a full unbroken two and a half years where i told myself the story of icarus and put my ribs in place of his. i haven't thought about that in ages, but it kind of works, right? you see the shape of it a little, right? i love boring things like that. thought about titling a poem about humanity turing test. thought about writing a love story: by any other name.

i don't, actually. love boring things. and this is a boring thing too, to set something up and to-- god, isn't it so dull when you have to spell it out?

back to lying.

it's not true that i celebrate chinese new year. it's not not-- you know how that sentence ends. summers in jade, i thought to myself once, about a memoir or a poetry collection. how fucking pathetic, i thought immediately afterward. this is all you can dredge up these days? bullshit about a life you barely live?

maybe there is a poem in there, though.

okay but, here's the sometimes, and this time i mean it.

sometimes i think i should be more careful about myself. i should snap at your hands, i should slam against the walls. i should rattle the bars and do it fierce enough to scare people but never enough to betray what i am. i should be worthy of the words glass and blood and knife. you will never have me, never the whole of me, never never never even a word to pin me down, i will chew off my leg and relish the agony because it is more than just the key it is the absolute and undeniable self who runs and runs and won't ever be caught, flying, boy who stole the sun, girl who cracked the sky, wolf-dog-fox who laughs from the edge of the treeline, you can't tell which way it went, it just keeps talking, going going going until you could mistake it for a coyote's bark yelping howling teeth sunk so hard in the moon it rains liquid silver never coming back down even my tail out of reach so no hands will ever touch me again.

fox is easy secondhand metaphor. i gobble that shit up constantly. not right, though. more like one of those large-ish dogs, one of the ones they bred for work, like herding sheep or being clever. i'm like that. you pat me on the head and tell me, "good job!" and i sit there, tail wagging, until the next time someone wants me for a "good job".

in elementary school, my teacher took my hand in hers and told me i had piano fingers. so i took up piano and played for her before anyone else. she dressed me up in her daughter's clothes. i made a point of memorizing fur elise so no one would ever ask me to play it.

is that a humanizing detail? was i specific enough? i think i've lingered here too long, made you think there was an expository story when there was none. sorry, i smeared my hand in dogshit that someone buried in the sandbox. sorry, all the signs point to nothing. empty signifiers. so on.

every time. it's caricature. one of these days i'll get it right, i swear.

#sparrowsong

[multi-lefaiye]

9,10,15 and 17

Thank u bestie <3

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

All of them, writing is pain <3 (I'm kidding)

Out of my original WIPs, honestly probably The Ruins of Memory has been the hardest to write. Because I need to be in a very specific headspace for it, which isn't something I expected when I first started it.

Out of my fanfiction, probably Twelve Years. It's one of my favorite fics but also holy shit it's such a bummer like all the way through. It's one of the few stories I have where the protagonist doesn't really get a break, because it's a collection of traumatic events in their life that shaped who they are.

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

All of them, writing brings me joy <3 (I'm kidding)

Out of my original WIPs, probably Fragile Things? It's simultaneously hard to write and easy to write because I already know everything that happens in it, I just don't know all the specifics. The hardest part is just writing the cute fluffy scenes and knowing the agony that awaits Arthur and Noah later.

Out of my fanfiction, it really depends on what I'm fixated on at the time honestly- however, Femurs and Feelings is a pretty strong contender for that tbh!!! I can usually knock out a chapter of that pretty quickly when I'm in the mood.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Okay, I did answer this one already, so I'm gonna say now that a Twelve Years movie would slap so hard but also suck so much. As fun as it'd be to see an intimate exploration of the experiences of a transmasc teenager in a fucked up dystopia.... oh boy!!! Honestly I guess the worst part would probably just be the discourse that would inevitably arise from the fact that Twelve Years is 100% about trauma.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I have to write things in order all the time always and it's one of my toxic traits (I'm kidding, there's nothing wrong with writing this way! <3 It just makes things hard for me but my brain won't let me write any other way)

#talk to the bunnykitty #ask game #thank u bestie!! #cryptid under the porch #god i wanna talk about twelve years now what the fuck

[un-unavoidableanxiousball]

It's a little polished story I posted on Wattpad when I was 16. Because I lost interest in Wattpad, I decided to put them here. I'm gonna see if it'll get more traffic here.

When I was editing I was listening to "Circles" by Kira and it influenced a little the story. So I hope it isn't displaced. And you'll enjoy it.

Circles

KIRA

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⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

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Masterlist

Quiet Nature

Rating: Teen and Up

Characters: unnamed character, unnamed nonbinary character

Tags: nature, imagination, dream, daydreams, self reflection

Warnings: slight violence at the end(animal cruelty)

Word count: 1434

❁❁❁❁❁❁🦋❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁🦋❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁🦋❁❁❁❁❁❁

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♪ So far away from reality

"What a lovely place to be." ♪

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Sun is starting to hide behind the horizon, painting the sky with beautiful pastel hues.

The last remaining rays flee between the swinging leaves of high-reaching trees. Each and every one of them — lead by a patient wind — softly sways creating that calming rustling sound.

There's a river slithering in-between sleeping rocks and thirsty roots and soil. From such a distance the reflected light makes an imitation of shimmering scales. Its water flows quickly as if in a race, impatient and eager to see new picturesque views.

From time to time birds fly from different directions. The occasional owls are the only one I recognize. I imagine they are singing to or talking with each other.

I wonder.

I imagine...

Like with the water which is creating that pleasant low frequency static. I can't tune in. The whistles of the wind — they feel off-pitch, off-putting.

I can't quite remember what they were like.

I can't place neither the feeling of the ground beneath my feet nor sun's heat nor air sliding against my skin.

I don't remember and can't recreate them without flaws.

But it's okay — I don't need them. I might miss them. But I doubt it. If I never payed close attention to those expieriences, how should I miss them? Tell me how, if I never enjoy them for what they are? Why would I change my mind now? Why, when all I feel within is shallow and weak?

However I can still sense when somebody is near me. Can feel and pick up flawlessly the moment somebody gazes at me. Just like today, at this moment.

Staring at the hypnotizing movement of the river. It's mesmerising to look at from above — I wish I could stay forever breathless at this sight.

I feel them sitting down within touching distance. I don't turn. I see them in the corner of my eye. To accompany me of their own volition seems unbelievable. Although they know me well. At times, better than I know myself. Right now I'm glad they don't push. We sit like this quietly for some time.

"Do you ever think of them?" they speak up.

"Sometimes."

"Hmm." they hum, nonchalant yet not condescending.

I lied. I always think about them. Fleeting as they may be. Never about the same characters, things or people. Changing everyday and multiplying from indecision.

"And now?" They turn to look at me. Study me. Detect my lies.

"Yes." Truth.

"Do you miss them?" At this I turn as well to look them in the eye.

Obsessions? Concepts? Stories? Chances? Truths? Or perhaps authenticity and confidence and responsibility?

I sigh, "Constantly."

"How are you coping then?"

Concern tends to rub me the wrong way, creates a fire within me that makes me wish to crawl out of myself. Claw through my soul, my heart and ribcage — screaming with agony. Their concern didn't hurt as much at the beginning, now it doesn't hurt at all. Other things tend to ache.

"Slowly, but I do." I answer. If it was truthfully or not, I cannot distinguish. But just because I said I cope, doesn't mean I don't hurt. In my opinion I got so used to this hurt that I've grown numb. It really seems that way to me.

"Will you ever come back to us?" They must've wanted to ask this for a while. A loaded question indeed. I look away.

I'm reluctant to do so. Numbness spreads in me, consumes me from inside. I don't have any energy in any case.

"Maybe someday." I don't even belive that. It might as well take years and bear no fruits.

"You sound unsure." They say with a bluntness — how refreshing it is to be the recipient of such frank attention. And they're observant as always. That's why I like you.

But I stay silent. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed for being called out. It is quite obvious. Would be to anyone that bothered to look.

"I'd welcome you if you ever decide to."

"You would?" I blurt out, shock and disbelief painting my voice. My head snaps toward them. They still manage to surprise me.

"Of course. Without hesitation." They take hold of my hand.

I focus on our intertwined fingers. Their skin is pleasant, not cold, not sweaty, not big. A hint of warmth to heat my frozen ones.

Our hands fit perfectly together. "I appreciate it." I truly do.

"We miss you." Do you?

I hum in acknowledgement. For a second I might have felt warmth spreading within. It's—

...nice..?

Nice to be wanted.

But I left for a reason. It feels as if so long has passed, they might truly not remember why I left. It was a small thing that set me off. It was a culmination of small things really. Left behind like crumbs for me to find in time. It feels so petty now.

Embarrassing.

"Will you stay here?"

Did they see my reluctance? Understood my hesitation?

"Yes, I try to prolong my time here. It's better." It is — less pain, less responsibility. I can do as I please. I'm aware nothing lasts forever. Although I still wish and wonder of better days, of things I long to have. Without having to lift a finger.

"..."

Oh you know me from inside out. I tend to easily forget that. Must you play so smoothly with my strings? Push buttons I never knew existed or how to protect them from others? You want me to ask, don't you? Very well.

"How...how are they?" Do they live normally without me there? Or do they pretend like I do? I'm not certain if I want to know the answer. What do I even want to accomplish by this? Do I want to learn if they ever felt remorse, if they changed their minds? We parted on less than ideal circumstances after all. I remember being mad at them. Holding tight my impulse to lash out physically. Exchanging some hurtful words and insults. Trying to make them see the wrongs did to me.

Shameful.

"They're fine." they retort.

I see. We're avoiding the topic then. Good.

Neither of us finds it easy to talk about. I do not wish to disturb the silence surounding us. I'm content.

Enjoying nature came flawlessly. We found that out while we were still together, never separating from eachother. We used to play with branches, leaves and rocks. Splashing the water on ourselves — I don't know who won the river war. How we nurtured our first pet. Now the nature we've been fascinated about is something we love to adore and admire.

We look at the landscape and reminise the past. Our thoughts similar yet divided. We stay like this while time is getting more unclear and unrestrictive.

They let go of my hand, stand up and sigh, "I'll leave you to it now. But don't lose yourself, please."

I understand loud and clear so I nod. Even though it feels like my intestines are squeezed at this.

And suddenly I can't sense their person. I'm left alone. It's fine. I can continue to daydream. I'm going to leave, I just don't know when quite yet.

Sun is starting to rise behind the horizon, painting the sky with beautiful and light pastel hues. Intent on waking up fellow plants and animals. The river in early light seems to have slowed down, no longer racing but steadily trekking.

What was I supposed to do?

I sigh and slowly stand up, unsure of my legs not giving out under me.

I extend my hand with my index finger straight. It's worth waiting for.

I look beneath the cliff at the white cold nothingness. I feel myself getting restless. Anticipation sparks my nerves in all the right places.

Finally a beautiful blue-winged butterfly rests upon my finger. I go to stroke its body. Shh...

With quick moves I take hold of its pretty wings and pull and tear—

The last thing it sees shall be my smile. I take grasp of its body and I throw in the river's direction. The remaining wings I add to my pile.

With my back turned at the edge of this cliff — I lean backwards. I'm smiling with closed eyes and falling to achieve awareness.

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I open my eyes. I greet my bedroom, sun peaks through my blinds.

Ughh, I don't want to get up.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

♪ I'll see you again in a dream

So far away...

Repeating, repeating

I'm dying

I'm breathing

Repeating, repeating

I'm crying

I'm healing

Repeating, repeating... ♫︎

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

#original character #original work #teen and up audiences #dreams #imagination #reupload #cross posted on wattpad

[gaoau]

He Loves Me Not

Tasting sweet, tasting bitter. Is it his smile or their feelings?

pairing — Itadori Yuji x gn!reader word count — 1.7k

A humming microwave makes up for the playlist Yuuji forgot to set on loop. Hours of music faded into the chorus of crickets, but silence fails to find a proper place between them. [Name] swings their legs as they sit on the counter, stacks of dirty bowls and utensils pushed against the kitchen wall to make space for themself. Their heels bump occasionally against the cabinets and Yuuji chuckles every time they flinch. They worry about being quiet in the dead of the night while he hollers at the top of his lungs whenever he goes on a tangent.

He rambles about his new friends and adventures, twisting details a regular civilian like [Name] isn't meant to hear. He speaks of the paranormal as though he experiences it on a daily basis, as if it were common to lay his sight upon creatures unknown to most humans, those of which teem with rage and agony in the shape of curses. Demon dogs made from shadows, triple the amount of eyes that are needed, millennia-old fingers that don't taste very good at all. [Name] tries to hold in their laughter, but it breaks through their pursed lips in a flurry of cackles.

Yuuji chuckles softly at the sight of their incredulity—it's okay for them not to believe him, they don't need to know how much deeper the world of evil runs. A smile settles on his face as he enjoys the peace [Name] brings into the atmosphere. They're gazing right into those curved lips and the glimmer in his eyes shining against the kitchen's lighting. There's a throb in their chest when Yuuji rubs the back of his neck abashedly, admitting quietly that his tale reeks of fiction. He makes up stories for their entertainment on a Sunday night, knowing full well tomorrow he'll be barely awake through the day.

It's the way his charming grin sets off butterflies in [Name]'s stomach that makes them worry—is it butterflies? Worms? Food poisoning? Flower petals? It's probably flower petals; those petals they pluck off each blooming bud in a childish game of he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not. Flowers pink like his tangled hair, frail like his delicate lashes, bright like the spark in his eyes, silky like the touch of his fingers. Yuuji travels onto a different anecdote full of adrenaline and excitement as they stare at him intently. They listen carefully to every word he has to say, wondering just how it is that he can speak so freely.

He has nothing to conceal, yet they do. Out of fear, out of respect, out of love—they don't know. When the words battle to surface and spill, they hurry to stuff petals of every color into their mouth and down their throat. The chant they repeat tells them that Yuuji loves them, but it's a type of love different from theirs. They know that. And it fucking sucks. Cowardly feelings and a boiling confession threaten to burst out every time he so much as locks eyes with them. I'm in love with you, a sentence they can't pronounce because the petals take up the space needed to form syllables.

"I can't really explain it in simple terms, but just imagine it's like pressure, right?" Yuuji starts a new idea, a new story, a new tale that he doesn't know where it ends. [Name] nods along to whatever words he spills, absorbing every sound so sweet coming in the shape of his voice. "So you have this plushie—really, really cute, by the way—and you're watching a movie, but you gotta apply pressure to the plushie for it to not attack you. If you go below a certain amount of pressure, the thing will pounce on you and destroy you. But you're invested in the movie, right?"

[Name] hums, "Basically, you're multitasking for dear life."

"Yeah!" He snaps his fingers with teeming enthusiasm in revelation to the accurate term he had been looking for.

Laughter bubbles in [Name]'s chest, bursting forth with bouncing shoulders and an arrangement of flower petals that taste like nothing at all. They cover their mouth with their hand as they manage to say between giggles, "What's so hard about multitasking?"

"It's really hard! Especially when the movie's so good. Man, I really struggled, I got my ass beat!" There's a specific ringing in the chirp of his chortles, entrancing and mesmerizing that [Name] wishes they could keep safe for all eternity. Recorded tracks and daily voice messages aren't nearly enough, for those may stay in the depth of their phone, but the day Yuuji stops laughing and his glimmer dies off, nothing will ever bring back those lost memories of his happiness. He shows off all of his teeth in an enchanting beam, one which could effortlessly light up a cursed city on its own.

The microwave finishes with a beeping so unbearably deafening, making [Name] startle and jolt at their seat on the counter—it's the dead of the night and the slightest of sounds could wake up the entire neighborhood. Yuuji chuckles to himself as he pries the door open to allow a harmonious scent of vanilla to waft into the air and envelop the kitchen. He hisses at the pain on his fingertips when the scorching ceramic comes into contact with his skin. Two mugs filled with steaming pastries; [Name]'s idea and the sole reason Yuuji came over so late at night, easy enough for the both of them to whip up in a second and chat the sleep away.

Their invitation drifted into the sky in the shape of a hey i wanna try mugcakes you down? yet a faint echo behind it whispered you transferred schools and i miss you please come see me. The cake is sweet, fluffy, smooth, savory, possibly the best dessert they've ever tasted, but next to Yuuji, nothing tastes like much at all. It really fucking sucks. The feelings, the emotions, the adoration; they hold onto a string of love with a grip so poor, they can't guess whether the string will snap first or they'll simply let go. When he isn't looking, [Name] mixes a petal with their cake in an attempt to stimulate their tongue with a dash of bitterness. A soft texture so cruel, sticking to the back of their throat. Still, it tastes like nothing at all.

"This is fine…" a mumble tumbles from their lips. Then again, is it fine? Their eyes stray to gaze at Yuuji and the way he's wolfing down every last bit of pastry in his mug despite how much it burns. A smile manifests without them even trying. Of course it's fine; of course it sucks. He's everything they could have ever wanted, but how can they even express such a concept when he's content with the way things are?

[Name] gives themself a moment. It sucks, but it's fine to be his friend. Laughter and moments and jokes stacked together in a mug. Sweet and bitter and tasteless.

A Summer breeze, billowing curtains, lo-fi beats played on repeat, and a mattress dirty with age. What once had been settled resurfaces again in a wave of doubt; gritted teeth and balled fists. He-loves-me-he-loves-me-not has become an unhealthy habit where they hope the amount of petals they swallow might dictate corresponded feelings. They've destroyed countless flowers of a thousand different hues to reach the same result. [Name] tilts their head back to catch his attention. He feels them shift on his leg and finds their gaze with an inquiring hum.

It's just a flower, a random one that caught their eye and they decided to steal on a whim before heading back home. It's just a flower, one that looks white and frail, but when they rise it against the sunlight, bits of yellow shine through, and [Name] squints at it to catch specks of green. Yuuji argues he sees blue somewhere in it, but they come up with a new theory that he's probably colorblind. It's just a flower anyway; it tastes as bitter as every other one they've eaten, yet it has no taste at all, and it might just be the taste of their concealed adoration for him burning on their tongue.

They hesitate, but they start, "Listen, I, uh… I really, really think—I mean, I kinda, um… How do I say this? I…" Although they start, they never finish. Is it cowardice or wisdom? A fear of things changing for the worse, or the knowledge that everything is fine the way it is?

"You good, man?" he asks in a voice so soft, concern wrapping around every syllable. That's where his brows dip and his lips flatten and his eyes are just so hypnotic they don't want this to ever stop. Running in circles, they realize one more time that this is fine.

"I couldn't be better."

"So what is it?"

"I just wanna be your friend for as long as I can. How does forever sound to you? For the rest of your life?"

"Sounds great! I couldn't think of a better friend." He grins so widely, so warmly, so friendly. He's so lovely, right at their fingertips.

"Even better than the Fushiguro you talk about?"

"Absolutely!"

It's the fondest of breaths that he lets out, tasting almost like molten chocolate running down and swirling in an infinite loop of time. [Name]'s happy to be able to call someone like Yuuji their friend—they're happy to simply be able to say his name and receive a response. Every time they speak, the syllables that form overpower the previous bitterness of choking flower petals; it tastes so sweet that they can't remember why they scrunched up their face in disgust in the first place.

[Name] won't ruin this. The existing conflict only dwells within them and they accept the reality of never holding Yuuji where he can reciprocate their love. It's easier to avoid it than to destroy something so beautiful they've built up between the two of them without trying. They'll clog up their own throat with tasteless petals and tear love up into pieces as they destroy flower buds one by one instead. They won't speak what doesn't need to be spoken.

Yuuji knows a lie when he sees it.

—あごす (agosu) • 2021

#He Loves Me Not #Jujutsu Kaisen #JJK #Jujutsu Kaisen x Reader #JJK x Reader #Itadori Yuji #Yuji Itadori #Itadori Yuji x Reader #Itadori x Reader #me when i come out as ace

[thankskenpenders]

Given how the second movie handled Sonic's universe and characters, what characters at this point do you think are most likely to show up in Sonic 3 & Knuckles (that will never get old) and who would you be genuinely shocked by?

(This post contains spoilers for Sonic 2.)

Okay so part of me thinks that Shadow opens the floodgates for them to go beyond the Classic cast, but I also think that Shadow is just so absurdly popular (arguably still the second most popular character behind only Sonic himself) that he was always a shoe-in

I think right now I would say Amy is probably a relatively safe bet, just because she's a staple of the franchise who's been around since the Genesis days, and at a certain point you gotta start letting the girls in on the fun. Plus, she's a key player in Shadow's arc, so like. Duh. But who knows. I'm kind of surprised she's not there already.

Metal Sonic is also an A-lister who would be easy to include, but they might find him redundant next to Shadow. (You can absolutely have the two act as foils to each other, but I just don't know if they'd consider that too much for one movie to introduce.)

Like I said before, if we've now got both a Knuckles show and a Shadow-focused movie coming out, then they share a major supporting character, and that's Rouge. (Yes I am also a known Rouge stan so I'm biased lol.) If they wanna loosely adapt SA2 like how this movie loosely adapted S3&K, then Rouge is obviously a key part of that story, especially if they spent part of that movie setting up GUN. (Hell, have her interact with Agent Stone since he's infiltrating GUN!) And if they're trying to go full Cinematic Universe on us then setting her up in the Knuckles show so they don't have to do as much work introducing her in Sonic 3 makes a lot of sense. The problem with Rouge is just, you know... the boobs. It's the boobs. But I want to see them try to make Rouge work in live action because either they keep her as-is and general audiences are completely bewildered by the furry bait character, or they downplay it and thousands of people online all cry out in agony. Either way it's going to be very funny.

Other than that, I really don't know. Anyone in SA2 feels fairly likely just because they seem to be building towards a version of that story. The Knuckles show is really the big question. Beyond Rouge, people are guessing maybe the Chaotix, but like... for one, Knuckles isn't actually associated with them anymore, and two, as much as I like them, they aren't important characters to set up ASAP if the focus is on stuff from the iconic Genesis and Adventure stuff

Oh, and I'd be surprised if we didn't get a quick Big cameo as a gag before the end of this

Really I just want them to use all of the characters. I'm growing tired of Cinematic Universe shit where you have to watch a bunch of different movies and streaming miniseries as homework for other movies and streaming series, but I'll watch the shit out of any Sonic stuff they make if it keeps being this fun. Give us the Sol Dimension miniseries with Blaze. Give us Silver time traveling. Add Omega as the funny evil robot, audiences will eat that up. Give it to me

As for who I'd be most shocked to see, idk. Literally anyone from the comics? The Babylon Rogues, because they barely exist outside of the Riders games? Gemerl? Honey? Marine? Cream? Actually out of the major recurring cast Cream might be the least likely to ever show up lol. Sorry Cream

#sonic movie spoilers #sonic movie 2 spoilers #sonic 2 spoilers #anon #ask #tkp asks #tkp post