pansexualkiba

[pansexualkiba]

the idea that dwarves wouldnt like druidry is such a dumb fantasy dichotomy thing btw. even setting aside the complex subterranean ecosystems that exist, the stone? what u can’t be a druid tied to stone bc its not “alive”? are u joking me? with all its beautiful variety and its constancy and its violent potential and its mineralization of fossils and its CAVES? fuck off. me and gregnor stonesinger out here grinding paint pigments and sliding between geologic layers with soul-deep reverence. if u even care

[pansexualkiba]

looking at that one booktok post and didn’t realize how funny this is. uou do not know what a safe word is

[pansexualkiba]

#sebastian michaelis. are you kidding me.

[pansexualkiba]

are you an otaku too?

[pansexualkiba]

not “oh my god it’s just a tv show” as in you are not allowed to find genuine joy and form a true connection to fiction, but “oh my god it’s just a tv show” as in, if it legitimately stresses you out and impacts your mood when things don’t happen exactly the way you want them to, and it causes you to lash out at other - real - people, maybe you need to take a massive step back.

[pansexualkiba]

Me if I were a dog

[pansexualkiba]

i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs

#she really just starts duel wielding #she's about to get a cease and desist from the council of armed bisexuals. we don't want her.

[pansexualkiba]

humbly making my contribution to the dorian wearing the dorian shirt pile!!!!

[pansexualkiba]

no multi option, agonize and choose, no results option, pick one to find out or scroll onward

#headphones please. i hate loud noises so much

[pansexualkiba]

when you're crying about the cancellation but remember how good YOI was to you

[pansexualkiba]

I understand some of you are 19 but that is not an old man, he's 32.

#when i talk about old man yaoi i'm talking about two fifty year olds who have an 18 year old daughter

[pansexualkiba]

stop doing coke with these jokes and come smoke crackula with dracula

[pansexualkiba]

"Dear, not that I've not enjoyed our life together-"

"Ah, damn. Are you breaking up with me? Is it because I forgot to clean the ibis cage last decade?"

"No, no, we worked past that. I have to wonder... Well..."

There's a faint, uneasy air as you stare at your spouse. This had to be your longest relationship - which should be a good thing! After all, most elven relationships tended to last hundreds, if not a thousand or so years! This was utterly normal for two elves.

Except, your spouse is human. Perhaps was human - but you ran through the potential human-like immortals in your head several times before broaching the topic.

"...How have you lived this long?" You finally ask. "You are aware of my... Previous relationships... And many of them eventually passed after a scant eighty years of marriage." You reach up and begin to fiddle a bit with your hair - a nervous tic that your current spouse sometimes does when dinners go on for a week too long.

You run through the immortals that your spouse could have possibly become. Naturally, anything undead has to be out - almost all of them disintegrate in the sun, and the window is open, letting in plenty of light. Therians are another potential change, but you've noticed a complete lack of bestial behaviors from your paramour - beyond that, they still age, and your spouse has remained as fresh-faced as the day you married-

"Oh, I bought one of those cursed portraits that ages for me." Your little bluebell answers completely bluntly, halting your thought process in a way you sometimes adore, but this time, it just completely blindsides you.

"What." You eventually wheeze out.

"Yeah! C'mon, honeysuckle, check it out!" With that, the human's naturally-rougher hand takes yours and leads you to an unused atrium you haven't entered in at least five centuries. "See, remember our tenth anniversary? You already knew that we humans place a lot of emphasis on little blinks like that, so you let me plan out a little party for my family?"

You recall it very well. You had a mullet back then.

"Anyways, one of my uncles - Geoffrey, you remember him, the guy married to Thr'abr'ock - he gave me a free coupon for this cursed item store he worked at back when Rookmeadow was still called Valemoore, and I went, "Aw, hell, what's the worst it could do"." Your spouse pauses outside of the atrium door. "A loooootta cursed items are skulls, by the way."

The door to the atrium swings open.

There is a painting frame you have never seen before, hidden behind a thick black veil.

"Yeah, so, since sunlight damages paints and I was warned the painting's damages would reflect on me, just as I would reflect on the painting, I just decided to keep it in a room you weren't using." Your spouse finishes. They pull back the veil, revealing the image of a three-hundred-and-change-year-old mirror of your beloved. The ancient, gnarled face, like a tree that had been shaped in a sandstorm. The white hair, thin and barely hanging on. The fact that their skin looks so thin, so frail-

You look at the painting, then at your spouse, who looks like a mixture of abashed and proud.

"...Why?" You eventually find the words for.

"Cause." Your spouse begins, "I wanted to spend eternity with you, like we vowed, and this was more or less the only option that worked best with us. I mean, if I were to seek out some vampire to bite me, then we wouldn't be able to let all this sunlight into the house. Plus-"

As your spouse rambles about the amount of cons becoming undead or a therian or slowly replacing all their body parts with marble would entail, compared to the simple solution of just having an inanimate object age for them, you gently lead your bluebell out of the atrium.

The painting is behind the veil, eternally hidden away, until death do you part.

For elves, the neat part about taking human lovers is the relatively short time of commitment. After reaching 300 years of marriage, you’re starting to get suspicious of your spouse.

[pansexualkiba]

For elves, the neat part about taking human lovers is the relatively short time of commitment. After reaching 300 years of marriage, you’re starting to get suspicious of your spouse.

[pansexualkiba]

[pansexualkiba]

From Fu Shi's swiftspace

[pansexualkiba]

What manic pixie girl 😼 does to a mf

#they call me........ dogboy's whore