#thats just how. life works tbh

[kisaraslover]

pinterest is constantly trying to convince me the thigh pouch is such a normal and big part of fashion and i keep going "haha yeah maybe in the yugioh universe" anyway here are two of the most popular Kisaras from fics

#art tag #yugioh #ygo #kisara #everyone dresses like this in that universe. emo egirl universe. that attire is perfectly fine business casual btw #thigh pouch contains the deck. obviously. just in case i had to say it. kaiba requires all his employees at least tier 4 dueling skills #not a big fan of either kisaras tbh. her dueling makes no sense narratively. shes on the Other side of dueling magic. in the divine part #and kc employee....can work but not always. this is a crack version lol she also looks like a high schooler. thatd be so funny #16 year old kaiba and his highest level personal assistant and also classmate: 16 year old kisara #thats so funny to me. but i love it for how silly it is #them playing adult is so funnyyyyy. half of kaibas life is nonsensical card game adventures. the other half is playing ceo #with a girl his age #thats. #so endearing #anyway

[gilbirda]

watching house md in one go really makes you see when the writing went nosediving huh

#season 5 first episode ?????????? #whats going on? #i really hate when they try to prove a stupid point that serves no purpose #just to brush it away for the over arching plot of house being gay with wilson #hur dur house is mean #thats it??????????????????????? #like im sorry they are trying to force the narrative to make house the villain but tbh he's right??? #'he's so insensitive' ok stop projecting your fears and limitations on others and maybe he'll stop shutting you down #also the hospital drama is getting out of hand for no reason #i dont know man there's this 'house is so mean and destroys everything he touches' forced view #when is people not know how to self regulate #it's not house's problem that some people can't separate their self with their work #sure it's house's MO to take everything personal but he always has this moment when he's like 'game's over. this is real life now' #other dont have this ability and after berating house for 4 seasons for taking things personally then make the biggest fucks up and then cr #anyway i have opinions about house #he's blorbo #he's my little mew mew

[theygender]

This has been on my mind for weeks and I talked to my therapist about it today and told my girlfriend about it too so now it's time for me to update the gay people in my phone: I may have schizotypal personality disorder

#this is like the equivalent of telling the bees to me #rambling #like ive been thinking about ever since i learned that autism shares a lot of similarities with schizophrenia and looked into that #and then learned about negative/cognitive symptoms and realized i related a lot to them #and then i learned more about schizotypal personality disorder and it was fuckin scary how much i related to it #what with the magical thinking and the severe social anxiety that doesnt go away when i get to know someone #and the ideas of reference and the eccentricity and the communication difficulties and the strange thought patterns #and then i specifically learned about avolition as a negative symptom which describes the exact thing thats ruining my life rn #and. i was scared to talk to my therapist about it bc i was worried it could be used against me somehow #but it was good to talk it out with her and get some additional perspective on whats going on in my brain #and if it means i could maybe possibly work on fixing the avolition and the social anxiety (my two biggest issues for years) #then it would be 100% worth it tbh. and its also kind of helpful to have some sort of framework to understand whats happening in my brain #funnily enough when i told my girlfriend (who was previously mis?diagnosed with schizophrenia and considering autism) #about it she related a lot too. so i guess we'll see how that goes #its. crazy how much of an overlap there is between schizospec orders and autism #i feel like i might should write up a post going into detail about different schizospec disorders to raise awareness #bc like. it is so much more than just hallucinations and delusions #in fact its not even required to have both of those for any schizospec disorder. some only require one and others dont require either #there is so much to the schizophrenic spectrum that i was unaware of and I'm sure that's probably true of other people too

[krash-8]

ok so I get the schools football team is great and you can afford to spend thousands of dollars on signs that glow when they play and shit but can you go back to not charging kids for pads. or at least stocking the dispensers that do

#rant in tags sorry lol i hate it here #anyways #I don't generally take change with me when i go to the bathroom mid class #believe it or not #and half the time the dispensers are empty or broken anyway #“but then kids will just take them all” 1) how would anybody casually walk out of the restroom with 50 tampons #2) i think youd live #use that money you're always bragging on for something thats NOT showy sports gear or a fucking ten thousand dollar chandelier #hate rich schools because they have so much money they dont even bother spend it right #dont even get me started on the band #i like band !!! band is cool !!!! however my former high school had a great band #and they didn't BEG THEIR MEMBERS to sponsor THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS EACH FOR #on top of what they already have #AND THEY HAVE A LOT. #tbh ive never met more spoiled kids than the band ones at my school in my life #“we didn't get to have 5 field trips to amusement parks this year. just four. of COURSE im upset; they dont fund band enough” #that kid got jumped on by three art kids and a teacher when that came out 😭😭😭 #they just expect this shit #do they notice what its taking from everyone else #i have a teacher whos worked with this school for like 25 years. which is remarkable as this school isnt very old. or this town #compared to my other schools at least #and every day she goes on about How Much She Hates what theyre doing #but she wont leave because she likes to teach #shes watched the school slowly transfer more and more of its budget to showy extra things #and give less and less to necessities #more money does not help. #not only is there nothing more they can take from some families without driving us out‚ but they'll just keep wasting it. #theyre spoiled fucking rotten and you can't give them anything because itll never go where you want #out of tags but yeah i hate them and something needs to be done about the district #school problems

[mossflower]

ok while i’m ignoring the fact that i have a 9am lecture in six hours does anyone want to listen to me rant about nanowrimo

#so. last year i decided to do it very last minute with zero planning #it was not a good story but i had a lot of fun writing it and!! i actually finished it!! #this year i have planned a story. i have a plot. i have characters that i like. i have themes and settings and all that jazz #but i kinda just want to abandon it and work on an older project!! which is very annoying #the older project is part of a whole damn universe i’ve been developing the past few years. i am Obsessed obsessed with everything abt it #it’s very close to my heart and i really want to make something of it! and i don’t think i’m a competent enough writer to do it justice atm #also if i abandon my current nano project i highly doubt i will ever actually write it #which would be a shame because i like it! it’s a story i would have liked to read when i was like fourteen fifteenish #and tbh would still like to read now #i think actually writing it would be good practice! and i know i would enjoy it #when have i ever not enjoyed anything featuring magic time travel and lesbians. like honestly #i don’t think it’d take long for me to start writing the older project after nanowrimo either #i have a tendency to get stuck in brainstorming hell but i know how it ends. which makes everything much easier to sort #also if i don’t write something featuring the love of my life maria soon i think she will physically claw her way out of my brain #so there’s that <3 #morganposting #nano 2023 #now thats a scary tag to be using

[gilliontidestriderchampionoftheu]

guys i am slash gen so happy for grefgor and i am actually ELATED that arthur looks weird now

#my post #the suckening spoilers #I COULD NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRAW ARTHUR #BUT A CREATURE?? A KINDA FUCKED UP LOOKING GUY??? I CAN DO THAT!!!!! #he is 1000 times more beautiful to me #like from shrek and he is fiona #and grefgor........ i am so happy for him. having a life outside of serving his princes #WHEN HE TOLD THEM NO. THAT THEY COULD NOT FEED OFF OF HAZEL #ARE WE SKIPPING OVER THAT. THATS SO IMPORTANT HE TOLD THEM *NO* #yknow i think he loves her so much bcus shes so like. 'yeah. whatever.' yknow?? #shes not telling him what to do or what to think. shes barely doing that for herself tbh #shes so chill i love hazel #um i mean proposing after less than a month of knowing eachother is kinda crazy and she also does NOT know hes a vampire and i feel like #they should maybe work that out first. but im sooooo happy i was kinda thinking hedve just spent the month standing there waiting for them #to come back. or hed be dead. but hes LIVING HIS LIFE :DDD #also seeing people upset that shilo x grefgor isnt gonna be canon ToT GIRL SHILOS ARO???? #LIKE?? AT EDWARD TWILIGHTS HOUSE W THE LEVEL 1 BLOOD BOND? GRIZZLY WAS LIKE 'OH CMON NO ROMANTIC FEELINGS AT ALL' AND BIZLY WENT 'NO HES NO #REALLY CAPABLE OF THAT' #LIKE ITS CANON <3 PEACE AND LOVE AND LIGHT <333 #THIS IS ALL I HAD TO SAY GOODBYE

[stinkrascal]

oh btw we leave TOMORROW which means i can be home to make story posts n see my kitties finally!!!!!

#i miss them soooo much #this has been the least relaxing vacation ever #thank god nobody planned anything today bc i am not leaving this airbnb til we have to leave tmrw #im grateful we even have the chance to go on this vacation bc it has been a lot of fun too #but soooo stressful and ive gotten sick every day since we got here #bc we’re in the car driving down mnts all day ;-; #i just miss being at home #oh and now my bf is talking about getting transferred to CO office for work so we can live here instead lmaooooo #which tbh i would NOT be mad at all if we moved to colorado! but i would probably be bedridden for a few weeks 😭 #but hey thats what the legal weed is here for #either way i did have fun! im just so exhausted now and i miss my house. but im happy i got 2 experience life here #it is soooooo so so so different to louisiana like i cannot express this enough. im shocked this state exists #when all ive known my whole life is bumfuck LA. it is just so cool to see how much more the usa can offer!!! #makes me feel like less of a doomer aha

[piplupod]

mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"

me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"

mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"

me: "...my thing?"

mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"

me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"

mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"

me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"

AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!

#i feel very ill fdsjkl tonight was ... not good #not the worst definitely not the worst #just. a lot of diet talk and making fun of other ppl that she expected us to all laugh at (and we did. idk if they found it funny.) #and brother labelling some influencer having rape charges against him just ''internet drama'' #number one: i dont want to hear about that. number two: that is not just ''drama'' that is like. serious. what the fuck is wrong w youuuu #my mother will say that all the food i eat is very bad for me and do that while knowing full well i struggle to eat Anything #and say that simply Adding things to the diet is pointless bc ur poisoning urself still! u have to Take Out things! i cant fucking do that! #im still baffled that two years ago when i tried to go to them for help when i was almost fainting from not eating they just shrugged at me #''okay? why are u telling us this?'' BECAUSE YOU ARE MY PARENTS. AND I AM TRYING TO GET HELP. #i should've known better than to try tbh but like. its so hard to completely let go of every sliver of hope that they'll... be kind #like me saying i was feeling suicidal a few yrs ago just garnered a ''oh don't start this again. we're not doing this again.'' #and me admitting my own damn self to the psych ward just had her telling me ''i dont think you actually needed to go :/'' #mother dearest if it werent for the other fuckers in the brain (caused by you abusing me) then i would've been dead several times over #i am so fucking tired i am so sick of these ppl it is so incredibly painful and terrifying that this is supposed to be my family #this is the one support system i get in life. and it is no support system at all. i am fucked !! i am so unbelievably fucked!!! #i know other ppl make it thru but they are much stronger than me. i am lacking something that they all have lmao. i am cowardly and weak!!! #i have been trying so fucking hard to figure out how to like. make this work. how to survive in this society and its just. impossible #i think we're back to the clock ticking down as my bank account runs out #i cannot be employed and ppl keep telling me disability won't accept me so i am just. unanimously fucked over i suppose #i have two years !! two years until i run out of money!!! thats a lot of time!! to make all the art i want to make!! #i will make this work for these two years i will cope and make my art and disconnect and daydream through the intolerable parts #i will make these two years so good sdfjkl im gonna make it to the end of them #sorry this is all coming flooding out fsjdkl i've just tried so hard to be like. positive abt things and laugh abt things and be okay #im tired of trying to make it okay fdsjkl i am wallowing tonight i guess. boohoo poor little me fdsjkl i'll probably get over it soon #just need to like. let a little of the pressure leak out so i don't completely crack and do smth stupid #it will be okay !!! or as okay as it can be !!! this will be blocked out by tomorrow morning probably!! #or it'll have to be LMAO i have my silly old lady yarn group tomorrow and i need to be Normal for that #suicide tw #abuse tw #ed tw

[this-should-do]

ykno i think that only ever being told im physically appealing by drs saying i could be prettier if i did this or that or lost weight or by my mom trying to emphasize how im a pretty GIRL to invalidate my desire to be more masculine most of my life probably affected my ability to feel good about my body

#like genuinely i have not been complimented on my looks for a majority of my life by peers #like ive had friends recently like say im slaying or looking good but like in the face kf yhings it doesnt like do anything i guess like #its what friends do #i had a person j used to be friends comlliment me once about me looking hot and sexy and i started feeling nauseus so i dont know what thats #all about so its like would i even want people tk ckmpliment on looking good? do j need that? how does it work why would i need it #when i dont really desire the types of relationships where being attractive matters #if im in my ideal state of mind i dont even register my body its seperate from me and im just my thoughts so i dktn have to think about #my ohysicality but when i have to register myself i just feel ugly but even more it all just feels wrong to have a body at all and thats #prob where the transness comes in tbh #like i dunno is it better for me to have avoided being told over and over that im worthy becuz im attractice as a woman or is that a symptom #kf me just being ugly that nobody ever commented on my body aside from adults daying how cute and ptetty i am and then my mom telling them #that im actually really smart to help me value my mind over my body becuz she grew up being ugly while also thinking shes stupid #like #like all of this to result in me being ugly no matter what way i cut it and i cant even bring myself to care much about it most of them time #even tho it feels mishapen in my mind as a feeling #its like bad and i look at myself in the mirror and i feel bad i look bad my face is wrong and its like the strongest feeling i feel some #days for those brief seconds i see myself and then j look away and it goes away and im back to having normal bland brain waves #its kinda fucked

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its genuinely so baffling how different my life is from my sisters. like their lives r also v different but theyre more similar to #eachother than either r to me. like they talk abt i guess stereotypical stuff like fashion and hot dudes and celebrities and have big #friend groups and im sitting in the corner like. i draw and i work and i have brain problems. y do i gotta b the odd one out. i mean #probably a touch of autism tbh and more severe dyslexia than one of them but idk its a bit weird. the youngest is cool and nice but #the middle one is pretty mean. but theyre both really funny. idk i am enjoying not working and seeing new things but also it is slightly #isolating to not b able to connect with ppl. like no one connects with my interests and what i do for a job is weird so thry dont bother #to try to understand and like on one hand i get it but on the other. im genuinely interested in what ur life is like. do u not care abt #mine? idk. i just feel annoying when i talk abt the things i like. like my brain is very: i see one topic 》 here is tangentially related #fact. and my sister is like: 🙄 y do u kno these things? and mocks my dad for doing the sane thing. like cool thanks 4 making me feel #insecure. ill lock thst down with all the other problems youve made worse. thanks. but whatever im just being sensitive. maybe im the weird #one. i dont understand how othet ppl interact when im not there. like i dont get how 2 ppl have conversations. i wanna kno how ppls brains #work but i feel like thats not what other ppl r doing. so idk. im tired and i dont wanna go back to work. maybe ill see if i can move my #flight back a few days idk or maybe ill just suck it up and go back to my disaster life #unrelated

[doebt]

You guys why tf dont i post about my feelings on tumblr anymore but im telling you right now.... it isnt good 😭

#but also It isn't that bad tbh i mean it is but it isnt. Its just the epic highs and lows of life #except really seriously its pretty much exclusively just the epic lows #Like marianas trench type beat #Like q.e died. q.e. veteran followers know the weight of this #I cant even process itttt but i also cant stop thinking about it its like a bleeding wound Idk what to do with it #Its so hard working this much too im just not made for it im really not. When my mom said i should marry rich i shouldve listened.. #I want to change my availability to like three days a week instead of five but I just dont have #the energy to like have that conversation or whatever... #its just easier to keep sufferinggg #Its also like at least its a distraction bc Im kind of afraid of how depressed i would be if i had any downtime #So idkkkk #Im starting to have a little bitty bit of a social life too though so thats one of the highs which is really nice #IDK Theres my life update

[todayisafridaynight]

What type of vitamins do AraSawa take

arakawa has a mini cvs in the bathroom cabinet. very religious about taking it, definitely had masato do the same while he was growing up. prob started because of masato in the first place and just continued even after masato was out of the house tbh. you have to physically pry open sawashiro's mouth to get him to take a vitamin c fruit gummy.

#snap chats #like you know how with dogs you have to fuckin :V their shit Yeah #yeah thats him. #if the doctor tells him he needs medicine he'll bin the prescription but if arakawa tells him to take it he'll do it Begrudgingly #just thought about the very real possibility sawashiro would dry swallow his pills im gonna throw up #YALL EVER DRY SWALLOW FISH OIL there was a phase in my life where i regularly took fish oil and thats what id do #that olive-oily-ass dry-ass stick-to-your-throat-ass fuckin feeling WHY. kinda miss it tbh #pill takers in the crowd who else dry swallows. im moving on now #yk what arakawa probably got in a cabinet them lil fuckinnnnn ginseng shots #i ssssWEAR to god when i was a teen my dad would make me take one of those shots before i left his place #im cringing remembering the flavor and how bitter it was but also i miss it 2x #anyway yeah arakawa does that to jo when he visits sorry. imagine taking that shit at fucking 8AM #right before driving to work where you kill people and hide their bodies your boss giving you the most wack shit ever #if its good for your health why is it like drinking battery acid #im ramblng way too long turns out i have a way more personal history with vitamins and the sort than i thought LMAOOOOO

[lyriumsings]

i’m doing my schoolwork and all i can think about is lightfall tbh everyone keeps speculating that we’re gonna lose the light again, but i don’t see how that could happen and the game still make sense as it is? one of my favorite things about destiny is that every function has a “real world in game” function like when you die over and over again and respawn in every other shooter game it doesn’t make sense, but in destiny it does that same character is revived over and over again. its a function that has a canonical reason for existing, hell they even reference dance emoting in the lore. so with that in mind i can see doing away with the traveler and still having the light in some way loop hole etc bc that’s just the way the game is. BUT no more new guardians are born. like what exists is what there is and when every last ghost dies that’s it. no more new guardians.

#like THATS what i personally would be ok with in lightfall #i don’t see how they can make the game function as it does but also be like oh yeah you actually only have one life forever now like in the #red war #if this becomes permanent and the traveler dies ngl i’ll be pretty disappointed #tbh even just changing the traveler from the sphere to a physical manifestation like the witness would be cool #i feel like we’re going to get one but also #there’s so many pyramids is there not more travelers is the one we have the last one? #is it just a vehicle?? #and can the witness make an equivalent of ghosts? like we know it has the ability to imbue power #anyway i need to fuck off and do my work #but destiny blorbo on the brain #nimbus design fucks #destiny #destiny 2 #lightfall

[catamaurrr-star]

thinking about my ocs again. it would be sooo fucked up if you were pyre actually

#imagine being at the brink of heat death and this red flower offers you life and water and stuff in exchange for you working for it #and . it doesnt sound too bad of a deal tbh #and one day you wkae up with a bandaged hand and under that bandage is a fuckinhg HOLE in your hand #and youre starting to forget stuff. and youre starting to act different #youre startign to lose yourself. but you have noooo idea thats even happening #you feel fine! you feel better than youve ever felt before! this is so great! right? #and one day you look in your reflection and you dont see yourself anymore. once blue eyes turned red with a 5 petal flower forever imprinte #on your eye to mock you for the rest of time. and that isnt Fucking You #and then you forget it the next morning. and then the flower fucking Gets You #sorry. im ahving a moment #maurposting #oc #pyre #aahahha . anyways #hes also a dilf. completeyly unrelated #everytime he comes close to realizing just how fucked up he is. flower takes over #i mean one day he will eventually be free. but Man that shit fucked him up sooooo bad #almost two decades of his life completely gone. and he cant even recognize himself anymore #is there a tag limit. this is getting really long actually

[bowtiestash]

i’m going to try to be more active on tumblr because of the way twitter’s going, just a heads up

#im not sure if i will actually 'be more active' but ive been stayin off of twitter bc like #seein a lot of transphobic shit trend and also just .. the general Bad Direction twitter has been going thru #makes me just not want to use it as much #ive been off it for a bit and honestly i think its been workin somewhat well?? #tumblr feels a lot more comfy tbh #it feels weird to just make random text posts now #also uh. extra random heads up but im gonna be postin fanart for random ass things #i feel like theyre random bc i havent really expressed interest on here but i did mention some of it on twitter #for example i have a hades fanart im working on #i also have some hermitcraft doodles which. might come out of left field but yeah #honestly i got slightly into traffic life series because of the fanart and a bit of hermitcraft because of the fanart #i feel like its kinda really out of left field for me but i did make mcyt art before #oh yeah since im rambling i just wanna mention. hermitcraft/life series fanart SLAP so hard. who gave the fanartists the right #thats why i got into it in the first place. i love browsing the fanart of them bc theyre so good #i feel like im more of a fan of the fanart more than the actual thing #i just feel like. my interests are so fuckin random. and they dont go together at all #we got... hades game (kinda) mp100 and then hermitcraft/life series like WHAT #i think the one thing they have in common is that theyve offered some great distraction for my shit brain when ive been going Through It #still coping a bit with my mental state and how things got there but im. gettin better i think #seriously its been a while since the bad stuff happened and yet im still. dealing with it. it SUCKS #i wanna make a new text tag but idk what it should be #ill figure it out later. i think

[femme-malewife]

Pondering. Wondering if a few moots from x server consider me their friends. Should I add their names to my friends list? Am I the only one who think we’re good enough to be considered friends?

#this friendship stuff is complicated... #tbh though i dont talk to very many people... #even on my friends list #like it may seem like i have a ton of friends but i talk to like 3 people #2 of which its not that often #hnmggg. #i try but i think im just a shit conversationalist #also my interests are always running rampant so i can never stay on one topic and i think thats partially the reason why people #become so disinterested in talking to me #like yeah my likes will remain the same but if im not pouring my soul into it then who cares right? #it happens everytime i get back into an old hyperfixation. people care less abt talking with me until im back to what they like #barely even humor me with responses #its pretty restricting tbh. but ig im pretty used to a lonely life. i dont have any friends irl #i mean i have 1 but they live in another state and i havent seen her since the start of the pandemic. and prior to that it'd been over a yr #i have work pals who i get along with but none care enough abt me to want to keep in contact #ive just accepted that im not really destined to be with other people. im not lonely. im just alone #hhh i dont even remember what the point of this post is #if you read this far hi how was your friday