#that’s included ranting on here about how angry I am because this is my blog and I can do what I want

[raeofgayshine]

Every time I think a doctor’s appointment can’t make me more frustrated then last time, I get proven incredibly wrong.

Anyways shout out to my doctor’s office who cancelled my mri that was scheduled today without telling me, after sending out a confirmation on Friday for my appointment, so I had no idea until I arrived today and they said I wasn’t in the system.

So then I had to drive to an entirely different place to schedule another appointment, which now won’t happen for another fucking month

I am so angry and frustrated and I wasn’t so fucking stubborn I would probably give up right about now. But unfortunately one of my worst traits is that I am angry all of the time, but mostly fortunately I have at least learned to let rage fuel me meaning the angrier I am at someone the less likely I am to give up because I just want to prove them fucking wrong.

Frustration often works against this, however since I am not doing this alone (my mom was there since I can’t drive), it dulled the frustration enough to balance out. So here I am fucking pissed but refusing to give up because I know there is something wrong and no one believes me really but I will not stop until I have fucking answers

#ravenpuff rambles #yes I realize I am just fucking Bruce Banner #‘that’s my secret cap I’m always angry’ #whatever I’ve learned to live with it #that’s included ranting on here about how angry I am because this is my blog and I can do what I want #and venting is very important when channeling anger #so is buying yourself little treats but unfortunately I am broke so I settle for venting instead #and baking when I have the stuff but I can’t get eggs until Thursday so until then #too bad I can’t hold a job because off all these fucking issues #between the chronic pain and chronic fatigue I don’t feel like I can do shit! #and I can’t even manage either of them because no one takes it seriously #and of course they feed one another in a viscous cycle #sorry im still angry and ranting don’t mind me

[therecordconnection]

Some Thoughts Regarding James Somerton

I know I'm rather late to the conversation and some of these points may have already been talked about in some form elsewhere on the site, but if you don't mind, I have some thoughts of my own regarding the subject of hbomberguy's latest video and I would like to take time to voice. This blog is normally dedicated to music and music writing, not posts about disgraced Youtubers, so I apologize for the detour in regularly scheduled programming.

First, I think it's important to make the distinction that Somerton isn't just a case of "problematic Youtube guy got owned... twice" but rather a genuine case of academic dishonesty, which is several grades above youtuber drama. This isn't something like Tati Westbrook getting angry at James Charles for sucking dick and cock at a birthday dinner. This isn't Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas or whomever having beef. It's not Charlie Critikal talking about some stupid drama of the day or someone just using Youtube videos to say a bunch of gross and problematic stuff. No. This is a fucking grifter who not only lied, cheated, and stole his way to the top, but also did it by using a vulnerable community that has long had their voices snuffed out and their history completely rewritten or wiped from existence altogether. What history he didn't plagiarize, he twisted and outright lied about. He just made shit up to suit his own gross agenda.

A lot of things about James Somerton left me absolutely livid, and I admit that I didn't even know who he was until hbomberguy's video. I think what makes me the most mad is that I went to undergrad and grad school with a number of jackoffs that were just like him. People that didn't give a shit about the art of writing and research and just treated academia and the pursuit of knowledge and how to critically engage with art and media into a stupid game that only chumps take seriously. Somerton pisses me off because I AM a writer. When I write the Ranting and Raving series of posts on here, that stuff doesn't just fly out of my ass. I have to sit with a song, study it, research it, and make sure I know what I'm talking about so I don't look like a clown. I also have to make sure that I link and credit where I'm getting information from. It's not just important for my own satisfaction, but it's important for anyone who stumbles upon a post on this blog and takes time out of their day to read it and/or reblog it.

I think that's the part that makes me the most mad. That he and Nick Hergott have so little respect for the work that goes into researching and writing about a topic that other people are really passionate about. Spending time with something, studying it, and figuring out an interesting and unique perspective on it is a great feeling. Sharing what you find or how you see something with others and having them either like or reblog your work is an even greater feeling. That's my writing that somebody enjoyed and thought was worth sharing with others. Fuck fuck fuck Somerton for thinking you can take a million little shortcuts to get to that result.

While I'm on the topic, I don't think Hergott gets a pass for Somerton's actions. I've seen some people make the argument that he isn't complicit and there's a chance that he genuinely had no clue that Somerton was doing this... but I don't buy it. There's no way he didn't know and wasn't in on it in some capacity. Even if he wasn't, as Todd in the Shadows pointed out in his video on this situation, Nick is, whether you like it or not, an accomplice to Somerton's lies and he is complicit in the blame, due to his name being included in the "Written By" credit of a lot of those videos with Somerton. The way I see it, I find it hard to believe that he couldn't have known. I imagine part of Hergott's signing on with Somerton was that in the event that shit hits the fan, Hergott would be used as a fall guy to help deflect accusations of plagiarism.

To return to Somerton, in a way, he's almost worse than AI/Chat-GPT because, really, an AI has no morals. It can only do what someone punches in and tells it to do. Somerton is a guy who does have genuinely insidious ambitions and knows fully what he's doing. That shit about "only the boring gays who didn't mess around in the eighties survived the aids crisis" is the wildest and grossest accusation I've seen about gay people in some time. The wild takes about the Nazis (especially all the wrong things he said about fitness relating to Nazis) should also raise a lot of red flags. I'll say this though, I don't blame anybody in the slightest for not fully realizing Somerton was saying shit like that or doing all of what he was doing until hbomberguy and Todd presented it a certain way and made it all very clear. It's easy to not notice it when Somerton buries it by ripping stuff off from other, better writers. So, if you were someone who was a big fan and was genuinely shocked by the things Todd had to fact-check and debunk and worried that you're a bad person for having not caught any of them, trust me, you're not. Nobody should blame you for not catching it. <3

While I'm ranting about this, I want to say that Somerton's patreon grift was really gross to see exposed as well (through Dan Olson's really great thread, which can be read here). I understand the allure of wanting to buy expensive gear and thinking that's somehow needed in order to make Good Content™️, but there's a stark difference between someone saying "I think I need to shell out a little money in order to get something of higher quality" and "I need to have the appearance of looking like my stuff is being made with high quality stuff." As someone who has been experimenting with trying to turn his writing into video, I did some audio tests this weekend and realized that maybe (just maybe) the old Turtle Beach microphone my brother left behind when he moved out isn't going to cut it. If I want to record something I can be happy with, I'm gonna have to bite it and look at getting something decent, but somewhat affordable from a Best Buy or something. You don't need the best tech in order to make something great, but you can't use copper tools forever if you have the means to be able to enjoy using iron ones, you know?

Somerton's grift reminded me of guys like Onision and Spoony. Grifters who looked to Patreon and other creator donation sites for an easy pay day and would bitch and cry and complain that it's your fault when they don't get it. Somerton making poor financial choices ON TOP of it being money that he scammed from a community of people that were looking to invest in a voice that they genuinely thought was speaking for them in a meaningful way, only makes the grift more disgusting and foul. Even if he's just "some Youtuber," Somerton still had a responsibility to his audience to present queer topics in an ACCURATE manner. He didn't and we all have the right to be angry with him about it. This isn't just silly youtuber controversy, this is academic dishonesty in it's purest form and if it gets you expelled from any college program, it should get you expelled from being able to show your face on Youtube as well, which is how Somerton's story will end.

I've been on the internet for many years. I've seen some of the worst, most problematic creators of all time find a way to bounce back from all kinds of controversy and find some kind of success again. I don't think that will happen for Somerton. Not one bit. What he's done is something you can never come back from, no matter how much you try to reform. If two different youtubers can make two completely different videos about why you suck, I don't think there's any recovery. What happened this weekend is a now classic episode of World's Most One Sided Fist Fights Caught on Film.

This post has gone on for a while, so let me wrap it up. I mean this without hyperbole and without exaggeration: James Somerton is a disgrace to both media criticism and the art of video creation. I genuinely hope he remains propped up as a cautionary tale of what can happen when you fully decide you have absolutely no respect for the Humanities and decide that lying, cheating, and stealing your way to the top, all while scamming and being incredibly shitty towards a community that has long suffered and is STILL suffering greatly to this day, is better than any kind of academic honesty. I understand that Somerton is just "some youtube fraud" to some people, but the problem lies more in what Somerton's actions and motivations represent. I really think hbomberguy's video on plagiarism is going to do a lot of good. It's going to help a lot of people avoid doing it as well as help people become more aware of what it really looks like and all the damage it can do.

Thank you for your time.

P.S. It doesn't really need to be said at this point, but make sure you support the queer voices and writers that did the work Somerton thought was good enough to just copy and paste into a video. They're the ones that suffered the most through all of this and my heart goes out to them, from one writer to another. <3

#original post #plagarism and you(tube) #james somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows

[sarcastictissy]

Hola :D I just wanted to thank you for being so positive lately and looking at things regarding the qstudio situation with nuance. It feels like people have been so stressed and angry after all of the admin stuff came that they began to take every bit of news we hear as some sign that bad things are to come . I think a lot of people underestimated just how long this process can take, there a lot of factors to be considered here, including: q's lack of experience, the union, the laws, the admins. And unfortunately there is no way to satisfy everyone when it comes to stuff like this. This was never going to take a week or two, I feel like people didn't fully understand that.

Some admins are going to be pushed out of the project due to the lack of funds and the fact that this is a legal issue first and for most. It's unfair but it's the law. Not everyone understands that and because of that people are going to say things without understanding the situation. Not every thing is black and white and sometimes things aren't going to work out the way we want them to. Nobody is perfect and we shouldn't expect people involved in this situation to act like that. Which is why you should always look at the situation from multiple perspectives before forming an opinion.

It makes me feel tired to see the same takes over and over agian with no nuance. So your post have really helped me feel better :) I've seen people from both qsmpblr and qsmptwt act like every ccs involved in this is a war criminal or like this is a admins vs quackity or french/brazil vs quackity. It's kinda drove me off most social sites and forced me to only watch YouTube and stuff (on the good side of things, I've been watching quackity's discord videos and some dsmp vods :D it's been fun)

What I am trying to say is that, scrolling through your blog feels like a breath of fresh air and has made me feel 8× more calm about this situation. I don't think doomposting is necessarily bad but after seeing so much of it, sometimes you just need to distance yourself and look at the good parts of life. No matter how much I complain, I am never changing the course that qstudio is headed and neither can any one else, The only one who can do that is quackity. I hope that he does the right thing and the studio gets better. I love the characters that qsmp has brought us and the community it has formed, qsmp is a beautiful project that I want to see thrive. For now the only thing I can do as a viewer is hope for the best <3

I'm sorry if this came off as a trauma dump, I just really wanted to thank you.

So, this has been in my askbox for a while because I was so grateful and happy to hear I've helped someone!! Thank you sm anon that means a lot to me and knowing I'm keeping others optimistic, helps me feel optimistic too! :D

This is a very complex situation with so many moral grey areas mixed with black and white. It's not simple, it's not easy. These things cannot be fixed in a matter of weeks, you're absolutely right about that.

I also agree doomposting isn't necessarily bad! It's a good way to get off some steam and vent/ rant for a bit. There's nothing wrong with that. We all need it at times. For me, personally, it becomes toxic when that's ALL I'm seeing in social media. When I go on my phone and all I see is negativity, that's when I need to call it quits and start blocking people or start taking time away (which is why I deleted twt off my phone) everyone's tolerance levels are different ofc, so, not everyone is affected by that negativity, but I certainly was. This is why I want my blog to be positive and uplifting and you know what? Each and every time I get a ask or a message thanking me for that, I gain faith in humanity and it just encourages me to keep being positive! I'm so thankful for your ask and dw it wasn't trauma dumping at all!! :D I hope you're doing well anon! Take care of yourself. You matter

#qsmp #quackity smp #qsmp discourse #qadmin situation #tissy answers #thank you for your ask!

[youremyheaven]

hello. Sorry for sending this message but have a rant here about Claire Nakti View on nakshatras physical beauty especially every planetary include Ketu and Rahu too like all she see and compare are the beauty of celebrities or prominent people and pick what are their similarities like can she also include people who are not on the limelight?. Because I do believe that we have different beauty and facial features and no nakshatras are ever to change that even though we are having the same nakshatra doesn't mean it's the same to their faces also and I hate that part of her video about mars women intelligence look it up and you will see. Me having a kuja amatyakaraka i really hate how she said that moon dominant women are very loving and not having any dreams in their life. Like seriously????. I hate how she said Ketu are distant and isolated like how is she sure about that because me having a Ketu dominant is like that. I am angry how she explains the nakshatras or dominant planets it didn't makes sense. I would rather read your blog or other channel than her.

I wish she would use more subscriber examples as well because I feel like people who become famous kind of all have a similar look?? They're all largely the most conventionally appealing variant of that nak or planet's influence and 90% of celebs weren't born looking like that either so 🥲and the majority of her examples are white women so 😩😩

I think everybody has unconscious biases (including me and I do be hating from time to time but I'm trying to be more mindful of that) and that shows up through their work. Claire interprets certain planets/naks etc a certain way because of how SHE sees them. Since a lot of people don't have access to other vedic astrology content, they think of what she says as the be all and end all which isn't true. What's she's sharing is HER perspective not absolute facts. Same goes for my content. Nothing I say is an absolute fact, it's what I've found based on my research which is shaped by my biases and ideas

[submalevolentgrace]

hi hello, sorry it's another amputee question, idk if you get tired of these. i found your blog and i like how you share your experiences, thank you for this. im abled myself but im writing a story, and i want my main girlie protag to have a prosthetic leg and here's the thing, i dont really have a reason for it. i guess it says something about me, don't know what, but i just don't know if that's considered, well, offensive, or rude, or something. i don't plan to have any focus on it in the story. the medium is a comic so it's going to be always visible as a prosthetic, but i don't want to explain it in-story either, no backstory, she would probably just have it since early childhood. it won't affect the plot. and that's where i don't know if that's even okay. it feels weird to want that, to include that, almost as if i need to somehow turn the story about it, to have some kind of statement. which i don't actually want to make or even feel able to make as never experiencing it. i want for her to have a prosthetic leg just because. and i don't have anyone to ask this, and i don't mean to offend you by this, and i apologize if i somehow did. but if it's okay with you to answer, i'd appreciate reading. if it's gonna be an angry rant i'd like to read it too. i know you're an upper body amp, but idk, i feel like this question isn't much about the use of prosthetics and more of the general amputee characters, and im scared to ask reddit, i don't even know if that ask made sense. thank you if you read that all, please don't feel pressured to answer. hopefully you'll have something good that brightens your day a little!

thank you, i actually really appreciate this ask! sorry that the response is long and wordy, i got a bit carried away…

so, i've gotten a lot of asks/dms/notes from writers asking about how to write their amputee characters/ocs after my big "writing advice" post, and i think i've ended up ignoring every single one of them, because… well, not to be rude to all those people, but they seem to have completely bounced off the whole 'know why you are writing this' thesis, too caught up in the excitement of their own fantasy to even notice the bit about understanding your own intent as an author and why that matters, let alone really engaging with it. and at that point, i don't think there's any advice or feedback i can give that would break through, especially when it seems what most people are seeking is little details and nuances to add authenticity to their token representation characters or unintentional stereotypes.

but, without any other details or nuances that shape a character's portrayal, based solely on what you've said in this ask, i feel like you're on the right track and probably gonna do fine. the thing that sticks out most clearly to me is how you phrase it, "i WANT to write a protagonist to have a prosthetic leg", you are acknowleding your role as omnipotent author, and i honestly think that's worth a lot more than many people realise when it comes to crafting fiction. you've acknowledged your desire for this character to be a certain way, and you're being introspective about the source of those desires and how it will come across - and that means you're almost certainly also thinking about how it interacts with the rest of the story, how it serves your themes, and how it will be interpreted and understood by the audience.

a lot of responses or people asking me for advice say things like "i am writing a character who HAS an amputation", implying it's an observable fact, pre-concluded before their authoring of them, and therefore something they're much less likely to examine critically. maybe it's unfair of me to draw such deep conclusions from shallow choice of language, but firstly, so many people have been far more obvious about it, saying a character "revealed" or "told" them about the amputation, or just straight up talking abot them as independent entities with their own agency, as if it's a biography and not fiction. and secondly, what are we even doing talking about improving the craft of our writing and how it will be recieved by the audience if we're not going to think about how framing affects interpretation? if someone is reaching out to me asking for writing advice, you bet i am going to assume this is a person who wants to improve the details of their own writing craft, and i'm going to critically engage with the tiny snippet of writing they've given me and analyse how it reflects on them, even if it is "just" a tumblr interaction. i don't even consider myself a writer really, the art i mainly dedicate myself to is music, but i still put careful thought into anything i write that's more than a few sentences, and think about the audience it will be seen by.

sorry, that's a whole other tangent… not at all about what you asked. but by way of example and segue back; what i see you reveal in the writing of your ask is a nervousness and anxiety to 'do well' in your writing, to create a character with an amputation in a way that holds up to scrutiny and criticism, and also a fear of what unfortunate things you might be saying and the responses it would provoke if you misstep. i can totally understand that, not just because you messaged me and i personally have a track record of going off on people lol, but also… yeah, people are very eager to judge and attack art based on a hidden metric of how 'well' it does 'representation' or handles things, and be vocal about the failings of things that make an earnest attempt. and i can see that it's very appealing to want to pull back and hide from that; a character who has a prosthetic leg opens you up to your audience critiquing how well you've handled it, most of them not amputees, many of them with the subtlety and media analysis skills of a sledgehammer… while if you write a story with no amputees in it, nobody has anything to critique.

unfortunately, no matter how well or carefully or authentically you write, there will always be someone engaging with it in bad faith yelling loudly about how awful you are; i recently made a short sharp post giving a trigger warning for medical abuse and body horror in the new zelda game that painfully evoked some of my own experiences, i still got people reblogging it telling me i'm ableist for saying disability is body horror (piss on the poor reading comprehension) and should apologise to all amputees (waves my one hand and nub around in a comical hello gesture). maybe that is on me for writing it quickly in an upset huff instead of making at least two proofreading and editing passes and oh geez, this is getting waaay too long and off topic. okay, to the point.

honestly, from what little you've told me, to be overly reductive, i'd give it a stamp of approval. sometimes people just only have one leg and that's fine, people are born like that, it's a thing that happens - and it doesn't need to shape the entirety of their lives, and reflecting that in fiction is more than just fine, i think it's what we need. sure any amputee character i write is going to be an overt commentary on ableism and medical abuse, because that's what i live, that's what affects me. but i know because i've watched their stuff on youtube, that there are so many people out there that were born limb different that just, don't care about it, and it doesn't really affect their life at all. if your protag has a prosthesis, sure she's had to get fitted for it and train for it, and it might benefit you to do an afternoon of research into that if you want to see how it might holistically flesh out her worldview (look up osseointegration vs external sockets, if you want keywords to help, look for patient experiences instead of doctors).

but also, if her other leg has finished growing and she's got a prosthesis that works, she may not have thought about it literally for years, maybe decades depending on her age. i had braces as a teen and it has zero impact on my life, i've had foot and back problems in the past, and it's irrelevant to me now other than getting new off the shelf shoe inserts every few years. i can think of at least one (australian) celebrity with a pretty long and successful comedy career who most people don't even know was born without one foot, it's just not relevant.

sometimes people just have things going on in the background that don't matter, and sometimes characters should have something just going on in the background too, no matter what "save the cat" sort of writing advice tells you. sometimes cutting literally everything out of a story unless it serves the plot or themes is bad actually, and i guarantee you, even as a hand amputee, i would absolutely LOVE to see a leg amp character who is just having a life, doing other plot relevant things. especially much more than i want to see all the characters of people leaving tags saying some version of "thanks OP, now i can write the suffering and torment of my oc much more authentically". think of the hypothetical little girl born without a leg that just wants to see someone like her.

and finally. what i think is maybe at the core of your anxiousness, at least to my read of your ask. you've thought about your role as author and self reflected about why you want to write a character with a prosthetic leg, and you can't find an answer in you, and you're not sure if that means it's something bad. well, assuming good faith from you, i think that's fine too. people who fetishise prostheses or amputations, people obsessed with the suffering or (percieved) depenedncy, or whatever else it is that makes them yearn to write their hacky awful robot arm characters; they probably don't do the introspection, and if they did, they'd find their answer right away (horniness or power fantasy usually), although i doubt they'd be honest with themselves about it, let alone others. assuming good faith and honesty, if you can't find in yourself WHY you want to write this character with a prosthetic leg….. it's probably just a harmless aesthetic preference.

if you wanted it to do cool things or make her more powerful or more special than others or be endless inconvenience and suffering or make her the chosen one because of it or something, that'd set off alarm bells for me yeah, and i'd be reading into it as a much more harmful aesthetic choice, and responding much more aggressively. but if you want to write a story about other things that features a protagonist who just so happens to have a plausibly normal boring prosthetic leg…. that seems fine to me, honestly. i tend towards having characters with certain hair and eye colour combinations that i find aesthetically pleasing, and as long as i'm thinking about how that could come across and trying to avoid any pitfalls around fetishisation and nastier implications, i think it's probably fine.

there are really only three concrete pieces of advice i would give you:

one, when you've got a cohesive first/beta draft, try to find at least one sensitivity reader who's got as similar disability experience as possible to your character (lower limb, same kinda circumstances, same general use of prosthesis), and listen to their feedback.

two, while i totally acknowledge that leg protheses can be super useful everyday kit for many people, i still have a general aversion to "this character NEEDS a prosthesis or they're helpless" readings, and many people don't want to or can't use leg prostheses… if it were me doing it, i'd make acknowledgement of that, and in a visual medium like a comic, i think that's as simple as having a single panel showing your character waking up in bed without the prosthesis, and maybe at her home there are forearm crutches leaning against the wall as background decoration. maybe if you have any scenes where she's woken up in the middle of the night, or interrupted before being fully dressed for the day, you could show them in use. but that's a personal value suggestion from me, your judgement or sensitivity readers might disagree on the importance of that.

three, you will absolutely need to establish as early and overtly as possible that the prosthesis and amputation DOES NOT MATTER to the story or her character arc. people still very much have a default normative body in mind when engaging with fiction, and anything that deviates from that will 100% be interpreted as a checkov's gun that they will be anticipating and theorising about going off, unless you squash that down. if you want to make a statement about it not mattering, unfortunately i think you're going to have to spell that out as obviously as possible without breaking the fourth wall, or else the audience trained on existing robot limb tropes will be waiting for the traumatic tragic backstory or secret rocket booster to become relevant.

but also…. i'm just some bitch on the internet, talking like i'm more important than i am, getting loudly angry about limb difference when i'm a pretty recent and unusual addition to the group myself. so like, don't take anything i say as absolute, and while it's always good to listen to others, at the end of the day you still gotta synthesise all their thoughts into your own.

i don't really have a nice concluding statement other than to say, thankyou for appreciating my post, and most importantly, thankyou for caring about the craft of writing enough to critically analyse your own authorship, and being curious about how to improve on a sensitive topic.

[transfem-tomboy-oni]

How the fuck do you truly, really trust someone... it feels so impossible.

I trust absolutely no one with everything about me.

The truths everyone thinks they have about me are always off in some fucking way. I legitimately cannot tell the whole truth, ever. I can't. Because I can't trust. How. Do. I. Do. That.

Fuck this feels like I'm falling back into my depression I understand why people take fucking drugs.

I include alcohol and cigarettes in drugs because that's all they are imo.

Bright side: I don't feel like holding back shit I want to say right now.

On that note: Fuck off if you don't want to see these posts. I'm not a perfect human, no one is, and if that bothers you I don't need you.

You're entitled to not want to see posts like this, in that case, piss off from here cause they'll probably keep happening. There's enough other horny blogs

Also I'm gonna keep ranting as long as I find some shit I want to say.

Fuck why am I angry for what feels like no fucking reason most of yall have been so nice to me

Now I'm crying. Great job, me.

[herwarkeeper]

              〖 grievances 101 〗

welcome to one part of my blog that im going to call grievances. this is for general rants or complaints about any given topic. nothing that would be a run of the mill triggering would be showcased here and if it is i would make sure warnings are above the 'keep reading' bar to keep users safe. all rules with this blog still apply, including the fact that i dont want / will not engage with those who are hostile towards me (now, i cant make promises on not engaging at all because of basis of every being's reaction to such).

in connotation with that im going to start with my first one because i keep getting frustrated with it.

i am apart of a DID system as stated, we've lived a fuckhell of a childhood and unfortunately it's caused some shit on our brain as a whole. anywho, branching off of that topic, i loathe endogenics for this exact reason.

i didnt really ask to be formed, nor did i ask to exist quite plainly. and despite my otherkinity ties, im sometimes tired of living in this head. and it's not because of anyone around us, it's because this disorder is a walking nightmare 80-95% of the damn time.

endogenics make a mockery of that. they want the 'friends in your head' without the other baggage. which makes me so angry, i cant even fully describe how angry it gets me.

which leads into another topic. i dont like tulpamancers or anything related because of a few things. one, tulpamancy is actually an appropriated practice no matter how you look at or phrase it otherwise. and there is such a small population of the world that actually does do it properly and i can bet money none of these people would even be on a public platform discussing it especially due that it is a closed and sacred practice.

two, it's literally like i said before. it's the 'i want friends in my head' shit without the negatives.

three, it's so rampant in otherkin servers on disboard i actually hate trying to go into the community on discord due to it. im sick of trying to find a space with people who are similar to me to only find that horrid practice is being allowed in server. im tired. im just tired.

again. should i reinterate.

i dont tolerate hostility directed at me towards this blog and i delete and block at will.

#otherkin community #otherkin safe #otherkin #actually divine #actually did #anti endo #otherkinity

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay. Look. I don’t condone this. I obviously don’t condone what’s actually in this video. But I don’t even condone what I’m doing right now, which is sharing it. I usually have a strict policy against this. I try to avoid giving more clicks and views to anyone who could fall into the category of right wing “provocateur”, which is a word that, as Nish Kumar says, is Latin for “total cunt for pay”. I hate how many people make a good living off being a cunt for pay, and I do not wish to contribute to their livelihood.

I’m making an exception due to what TVTropes refers to as the Rule of Funny. This rule states that any rule is allowed to be broken if breaking it is funny enough. And this. I’m going to call this funny enough.

I’ve acknowledged that I recently fell back into a bad habit I used to have of hate watching things, and then I stopped doing it so much, but I am going to admit now that I didn’t stop completely. The videos keep coming up in my recommendations, because YouTube’s algorithm is designed to make us unable to escape the rabbit hole, and mostly I don’t click on them, but sometimes I do, and every time I do more pop up. And when I watch them, I get angry, I feel like I better understand why the world is so fucked up, it makes me look at everyone with more suspicion and generally be even angrier than usual. It’s not a good thing to do. Which is why I usually don’t post about it on here, I am genuinely ashamed of myself when I fall into that trap. And I feel a bit guilty about giving them the view, but really, it’s just one. It’s a drop in the ocean. One view means basically nothing.

What would be worse would be sharing it, to draw more attention to this video. That is exactly how cunts for pay keep making a living. People hate watch and then they share it and then more people hate watch and these assholes thrive on attention. I mean that quite literally - attention on them translates directly into money and that’s why they keep doing this shit.

So normally I wouldn’t do this. But yesterday, I watched one that felt special. It just... it’s just another level of funny. I’m going to argue that it’s funny enough to be worth sharing here. Because really, on a practical level, sharing it is still not going to add that many views. Not many people read my blog. And of the small number of people reading this, most of you will be better people than I am and not click on the video. So the few of you do click on it are probably not going to make a big difference. If it makes you feel better, donate like four cents/pence to a progressive charity, and that should offset whatever damage your one view does.

To understand how funny this is, you have to know something about Andrew Lawrence. I basically learned his story through osmosis. In my journey through British comedy, I kept hearing his name incidentally and learning about him a bit at a time. I now know he used to be trying to make it as a regular comedian. He did stand-up, he took shows to the Edinburgh Fringe and the Melbourne Comedy Festival and Just For Laughs. He did some small things on BBC Radio. And in 2014 he posted a rant on Facebook that I will not hesitate to link to because I’m pretty sure views of his Facebook rant from eight years ago probably don’t make him money now. That got him (accurately) labeled as a racist sexist asshole, so no one would work with him, and he had to give up on a mainstream comedy career. Since then, he’s made his name as an alt right asshole who does things on GBNews (which is like America’s Fox News, but without the money) and impresses other assholes.

So this is much funnier in that context. Here is the one hate watching video that I thought was so funny it was worth breaking my rule about not sharing hate watching videos. This fucking guy going on about the cancelation of Mock the Week. It’s funnier if you know it’s a guy who was once trying to do the normal trajectory of an up-and-coming comedian, which would include Mock the Week. But he never got on Mock the Week. Basically this is a guy who never got invited on Mock the Week, got so mad about it that he blamed the women and the non-white people for taking his rightful spot on Mock the Week, gave up on a respectable career, now lashing out about it. It’s very funny.

Guys, it is so funny. Laugh out loud funny. Not just kind of funny in the way that we like to laugh a bit at terrible right wing things. This video had me falling apart laughing, almost as much as a normal comedy video would do. You could show me this and tell me it’s a parody of alt right cunts for pay, and I would say that is a very well done and funny parody. But it’s real, and that’s much funnier. It starts to get really funny just over a minute in, when he refers to Dara as “O’Brien”, and just gets funnier from there. Please enjoy, and then donate four cents to a charity of your choice to make yourself feel better about having done so.

[angry-buffnerd]

Hello, I'm angry.

Incoming Rant Below-

Now, I'm usually not an angry person, but sometimes life wants me to be petty, so I will shout at the void after people decide to make stuff up about Greek mythology, Including the story of Despoine. 

And this spite will now be the backbone to a series of many blogs which I will keep on going. You can fact check all you wish, that is if you have the sources to accompany you, but if you don't, please dont think ill spend time telling you why popular media isn't historically accurate to the needle. 

If you are here for all the sources I got on the historical/mythological/legendary/ect characters, why thank you, have a seat and enjoy the many citing works I pull because I want you to get invested in these stories, even if they have problematic elements or not. 

Watching the stories of the past and how the rest of the world lived, their ethics and cultures, their morals and ideals, the things we can connect to on a philosophical level and whatnot, it is what I want to write about and share with the world. I want to clear up misconceptions of the past, to give away credit to the magnificence as well as the horrible events and present it in the most clear neutral view I can to rest. 

And yes, I too wish for these stories to be more palpable to the audience, I love it when authors change up stories and yet still keep in the Main themes of said stories. I am not immune to it either, these stories were made to be rewritten as any other, and give out entertainment as any other. But one thing is retelling, another is claiming it was the original work. 

With mythologies and legends or folklore we don't have the original, yet we still have the oldest sources, or versions of the sort, we can go around to ask the version it had been thought of as, but without the context of why such stories live on or have lived on, then it is made up. History is more groundbase than that, and its facts have to be more than simple tellings, it has to give multiple contemporary sources, archeological evidence, what events have been caused or affected by such an event. Among other things, all I really want is for people to be informed. That's all.

One last thing, I am not here to be your proof to all that you need to know, bear it in mind that I am giving you the general story along with its sources, but I am not the Authority to back you up, so please do your own research too if you are interested to know more, I am flawed as I am human, and it is fine if you are looking to know the general basis, thats what my blogs are for.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (191): Thu 22nd Sep 2022

Looked after Luna today. After subjecting me to "Toot Toot Crissy Carson" possibly the most annoying TV show I have ever seen (It's a show about a family of cars that live in a house...fuck off) we had some fun playing games including stacking dominoes on every step of the staircase and trying to get them all to knock over which they eventually did. I love playing with Luna but the problem is she can't just do one thing once she has to do them over again. That would be like me staying in all night and watching the same YouTube videos over and over and...Oh. Anywho, I listened to Reece Sheersmith on Richard Herring's podcast where said that the ninth series of Inside No 9 will probably be the last. I get that this would be really poetic and I can understand the strain that doing this kind of show must put on Reece and Steve but I hope that this news turns out not to be the case because Inside No 9 is one of the best shows on TV. The rest of the podcast was a joy to listen to as well as Reece is a great interviewee especially when he's getting angry. I particularly enjoyed his rant about how fans are always suggesting he do a story set on a Number Nine bus...and that's it, no ideas for characters or story or twists just a setting. I also got a big belly laugh where he said that he'd turned down the chance to appear on Strictly Come Dancing, reasoning: "Imagine being told off by those cunts". He also expressed an interest in appearing on Taskmaster which needless to say I would be all for. I realized today that December 1st will be the 10 year anniversary of this blog (I wrote this blog under a different name on Wordpress for 8 years, then continued to write an entry every day just for myself for two years and earlier this year started publishing it again here on Tumblr). Man it seems like a previous life when I first started writing this blog but I can still remember the exact moment I posted on Facebook (from my cubicle at the call centre which they were starting to decorate with Christmas regalia) that I was going to be starting a blog. I was inspired by comedian Richard Herring who also does a daily blog after seeing an interview with him where he said that every day there are these great little moments that get lost in time because you don't write them down. At the time I had hoped that this would become a Hunter S Thompson-style blog where I would go out of my way to do things in order to get a story out of them...hasn't quite worked out that way. I normally finish the day during which nothing has happened and so I'm forced to write a bout a YouTube video or an episode of Hollyoaks and drag that out for a few hundred words. With the ten year anniversary of this blog not far away it feels like I really should do something special to commemorate this occasion and something this captures the original purpose of the blog. My gut is telling me to book a trip to Sarajevo in order to see the spot where Archduke Ferdinand was killed as this has long been a weird fascination of mine but it's now the run-up to Christmas so the money could be better spent on that instead. I was trying to think of something I could do locally. I've been interested in booking an IQ test at a Mensa centre for a while in order to confirm exactly how stupid I really am so I might look into that. I also think it would be a good day to have another attempt at launching a podcast which I have tried before but it didn't last long. One of the things I could do for the podcast is in the morning I could write down the top news stories on Yahoo News (one of the few news sites left where you don't have to subscribe to read the stories) and then just riff for half an hour on them sort of like what Collings and Herrin used to do in their podcast. Plus every Thursday I could upload a review of AEW Dynamite, on Fridays I could review Impact and on Saturdays review Rampage, plus occasional specials where I review pay per views.

[crazyw3irdo]

I see you’re also a Riddler fan. I gotta ask, how do you feel about his portrayal in the upcoming pattinson batman movie?

anon my beloved thank you so much for giving me this opportunity because i have ranted about this to multiple people irl but i don’t think i’ve fully lost it on this blog yet. long angry rant under the cut.

TLDR: i hate it

first of all, i can’t talk about what they’ve done to my beloved puzzle doofus without addressing the larger problem that dc movies have as a whole: the “dark and edgy” factor. i’ve done a bit of a rant on this in my tags recently here but that was really just a side point to what i was talking about at that moment. basically, fans want characters to be happy. movie makers continue to not understand that. i’d thought the dceu was moving more towards the actual fun stuff lately- shazam, birds of prey, and the suicide squad were all amazing- but as much as i love robert pattinson and think he’ll do a great job it’s not. it’s not looking good. i don’t want another grimdark movie. i want fun.

when i first heard that ed was gonna be the main villain i was just. very concerned. like. i would love to see him in a movie. i would love my good riddle boy getting to be funny and over the top but i just wasn’t sure if they were going in that direction and just… it’s clear that’s not it. and it’s not even in a direction i could understand?? like i knew in my core they wouldn’t let him be camp, but to jump so far into. whatever the hell that outfit is was just entirely unexpected.

i know comics can change canon characterization around from comic to comic and that combined with various fanon interpretations that how everyone looks at specific characters can be different, so i’d like to quickly take a moment to express my ideal form of the riddler that might just include a lot of projecting:

he’s a guy who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. he’s a guy who wishes he had someone on his level. he just wants attention. he does like batman, he respects him, he thinks that since batman can solve his riddles that maybe he isn’t as lonely as he thinks, but batman still locks him in arkham and as smart as he is he doesn’t understand why. he’s like a child acting out because it’s the only way he knows how to get attention. he’s a gifted kid with burnout. he struggles so much socially that he tries to reject society by focusing on riddles and intelligence but still wants that social attention. he’s a campy theatre kid that loves showing off. he’s a smug little bastard trying his best. he pouts when he doesn’t get what he wants. he’s autistic. he’s gay but nobody wants him. he and oswald are divorced.

i know i likely won’t ever get my ideal riddler, but really just what hurts me the most is there are so many ways to make him edgy and just out of character enough that would still work so much better than whatever this is. make him a snobbish asshole in a clean pressed suit sneering at those below him, make him a rejected loner who wants to prove the world wrong through any means necessary, make him a jigsaw-like character with deadly escape rooms, hell make him an r/iamverysmart “you say you want to improve society and yet you still live in it? checkmate. i am very intelligent.” and it’d still be better than whatever the fuck this is.

and good god the costume. the fucking costume. edward has fucking standards. what the absolute fuck were they thinking? i get if you don’t want him looking like the jim carrey version or the early comics where he had that amazingly terrible skintight bright green spandex, i don’t expect him to wear that, but in almost every other version of the riddler he wears a suit. that’s his thing.

look at the arkham & telltale games versions. look at how good these are. he’s not even wearing a suit in arkham knight, but it still works

yeah they’re not live action, but you know what riddler looked fucking amazing in live action?

i have very mixed feelings about the gotham tv show, especially for someone who never watched it, but just look at his fucking suits. it’s amazing. they’re iconic. they’re beautiful.

what the fuck is this. who is this and what did they do to my little riddle lad. i hate this. it’d be better if he was in secondhand party city onceler cosplay.

#dc #edward nygma #look at how they massacred my boy

[courtofwingsandruin]

Does anyone else ever think how we know that originally, Lucien and Nesta were supposed to end up together, not Cassian and Nesta? And how that means that this bond between Lucien and Elain probably was a very sudden idea SJM had when writing ACOMAF out?

She decided to change it because this relationship wouldn’t work. I’m not gonna lie that this is slightly perplexing to me. Lucien, especially ACOTAR-era Lucien, probably could’ve gotten along with Nesta quite well. I know SJM knows her characters better than us, but I just can’t see why they wouldn’t work, y’know?

And now, with the whole 3 brothers/3 sisters thing...I’m wondering if that’s part of the reason why. If SJM realized she wanted Lucien to have some connection to one of the three (a mating bond, rather than a romantic relationship), but doesn’t get with them. Because in the end, she had these two Bat Bois sitting right here who would work with them just as well, if not better, than Lucien could with either of them—and it would give her a future story to tell with the three brothers/three sisters and Koschei storyline.

I feel this can be reinforced by the fact that SJM has been planning Elain’s specifically but also Nesta’s story since ACOMAF. She made a lot of decisions while writing ACOMAF and began preparing things for the future books she wanted to write. Choosing not to have Nesta and Lucien get together, instead the tension between Cassian and Nesta the moment they meet. The way Elain and Azriel seem to click and focus on each other the moment they meet, too (if you reread that first meeting I promise you’ll see it. Elain specifically looks to Azriel, not her newly-fae sister, not the High Lord, not the much louder Illyrian right next to Az—not even Nesta. She looks to Azriel every single time when she was unsure, and he’s constantly reassuring her that she’s good to speak up and try). I don’t think that was a coincidence.

Not to mention that if she was planning for Elain and Lucien to be together, she would’ve most definitely given them at least one romantic coded moment together. The closest thing I’ve seen is when Lucien is leaving once and Elain nearly steps down the stairs to say something to him but he’s already gone. And honestly, I blame that completely on the bond. We know they can feel each other’s emotions, Rhys and Feyre can feel each other’s even with their mental shields up (or are supposed to be able to at least)—and we see that Lucien had “longing and sadness” in his eyes just before he disappeared there, which was when Elain almost stepped down. Then Lucien had winnowed away, and she walked away without any other care (likely because the farther away he was the less strong the pull of the mating bond, so she couldn’t feel him as strongly then). This is chapter 34 of ACOWAR. This is the only scene we see that seems like it has slight potential of Elucien in canon.

However, we have many, many scenes to support Elain and Azriel. Their friendship started in ACOMAF, was seen throughout ACOWAR, throughout ACOFAS, and even though we don’t see them even in the same room together but three or so times in ACOSF, there is some kind of tension between them every time (Azriel’s clear protectiveness of Elain when his shadows gathered in the corners to strike, the clear liking of each other when Elain looked away from Azriel’s smile, Nesta noticing a charged look going between them). As well as the many scenes where Azriel and usually Cassian discuss Elain and Azriel’s protectiveness comes back up. As a disclaimer, I don’t like that Azriel is also supporting not allowing Elain to go on these missions and try to prove herself. But every single other couple in the books is protective of each other. Cassian didn’t want Nesta to even let go of his hand to get the harp. Rhys had multiple occasions where he was angry and protective over Feyre doing something dangerous—when instead of going to the townhouse she fought in the streets of Velaris, when she went to find the Suriel during the war. Saying “oh but they’re mates” ignores the fact that it’s said most all males are possessive and protective like this in their world, regardless if it’s a mating bond or family or love. And it also ignores the very plausible theory of Azriel being Elain’s second and/or true mate. I won’t get into that right now though.

And then, of course, the bonus chapter proved that Elain and Azriel’s feeling definitely are not just platonic, and they both have a lot going on behind the scenes. I won’t get into the chapter much because I have plenty of other posts on my blog where I or someone else dissected and discussed it. But they definitely have both romantic and sexual interest in each other.

I truly, truly don’t see why SJM would set that up over the course of three novels and one novella to suddenly not put them together. Especially knowing that she’s said she doesn’t like couples that were built up over long periods of time (4 books is a very long time) and then don’t end up together. I don’t think she introduced Gwyn to be a romantic interest—I do think she included Gwyn in his extra chapter to confuse us and cause panic and chaos, sure, SJM is like that, remember when we first met Emerie? And then Emerie turned out to have no connection to Cassian other than him being her mentor/trainer and she being Nesta’s friend? I don’t think Gwyn will have any actual potential as a romantic partner. This also parallels Cassian and Nesta’s story—with them both mentioning another girl pre-getting together and (likely) nothing actually comes of it. She does parallel things a lot, and I don’t think she did this on accident.

To round this out, I’d like to bring us back to Lucien and Nesta. If she originally had them together, I think there can definitely be an implication there that she had considered them working some. And Cassian and ACOTAR-era Lucien are similar, as well as...well, Nesta and Vassa. The firebird and the silver flames. A human Queen and the Queen of Queens. Vassa has shown a great backbone, will openly bicker with people (we hear about her and Jurian fighting a lot), she’s just this woman who seems like she could be similar enough to Nesta to warrant the idea that Nesta/Lucien could’ve possibly worked if Nesta was a little more like Vassa or Lucien was a little more like Cassian.

I also want to clarify that I’m not against the Elain and Lucien ship, nor am I against Gwyn and Azriel. I actually ship Elain and Lucien—just not as much as I ship Elain and Azriel, because I’m 99.9% certain that Elriel will be endgame (always leave room for error). And once the next book is out and this whole mess has cleared up, I could definitely get behind Gwyn and Azriel as a non-canon sorta-crack ship. I read about pairings that completely disregard canon all the time (Feycien is hardcore slept on). But I can’t find myself supporting Gwyn and Azriel right now, not while this ship war is happening, because I feel right now is the time to actually look at canon and focus on what’s obviously there—not what, to me, is more of just a fun little ship that could work in theory and fanfics and that’s about it.

And that’s all. End rant. I’m so sorry if you actually read all this. This stuff has been on loop in my head for days and I had to word vomit again.

#acotar #acosf #a court of silver flames #elain archeron #a court of thorns and roses #azriel #elriel #acomaf #acowar #pro elriel #i’m not tagging this as anti anything bc i’m not anti any of the ships #the other ships are cute! i like it theory! not seeing it in canon #vassa x lucien #it’s not really about them but i am supporting it some in this? #and it seems like the only safe ship other than elriel to mention? #i don’t want to make anyone mad by tagging this wrong

[nashibirne]

Against all odds - 2.18

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC

Summary: Henry and Anna find a smutty way to punish Lestat and then they have an important conversation with him.

Warnings: Smut in the first part of the chapter including sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (female receiving), mentioning of public sex and voyeurism, light daddy kink, light male dom, bad language. Don't read if you don't like porn. 18+ only

Unbeta'ed! English is not my mother tongue, so be warned of bad grammar and wrong spelling!

Reblogs, comments and likes are much appreciated 💜

You can find the previous parts on my masterlist.

Tags @summersong69 @hell1129-blog @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @lunedelorient @agniavateira @mis-lil-red

2.18

When they were lying in Anna's bed an hour later, Anna cuddled up in Henry's arm, her head resting on his chest, she just couldn't stop ranting about Lestat. After all these years he'd managed to shock her with his behaviour.

"The audacity...I mean, can you believe he really did what he did? Said what he said? He obviously tried to play a mean trick on you..." 

"Yeah, and it didn't work because there are no secrets between us. Because you were honest with me and told me that you had this one-night-stand with Milton. He made a fool of himself if you ask me." Henry turned around to face Anna. "Let's stop talking about this asshole, okay?"

"Okay. I'll try. But my brain seems to overflow with anger…." She gave him an apologetical smile and stroked his cheek tenderly.

"Just tell me what you want me to do, to fill your brain with better thoughts." 

"You want to distract me?"

"Exactly." Henry said with a smirk and with one smooth motion he topped her, spreading her legs with his knees. The kiss he gave her then was sloppy and slow. He let his tongue roam around in her mouth, making her moan. This was exactly the way she liked to start foreplay.

"Do you want me to distract you?" he teased.

"Oh yes, Babe. Distract me and make me scream your name so loud, Lestat can fucking hear it in his room in the castle."

Henry put on a wolfish grin, grinding his erection against her pussy. Anna moaned again, reaching out for his briefs, making him strip them off. She needed him pure and in all his naked glory and started stroking his rock hard dick as soon as he was undressed.

"You want him to hear you come? You want him to witness how I turn you into a heated, horny mess?" Henry asked in a husky voice.

Anna sighed with lust nodding her head, biting her lip.

"Maybe we should do it on the lawn right under his window. Make him wake up with our moaning and panting. Make him look out of his window. Make him see me fucking you." Henry hissed, pushing up her shirt to touch her tits. He started caressing and kneading them, lowering his head to gently bite her nipples.

"Henry…" Anna's breath was going fast now.

"Would you like that?"

"Yes. I'd love to make him see how you eat my pussy. How you make me come with your mouth like he never could."

"You mean like this?" 

Henry kneeled between her legs now, ripping off her panties before he let his tongue run through her folds slowly, teasing her even more.

"Oh god. Fuck, yes…" she whimpered with closed eyes.

He kissed her clit now, giving it a quick suck, that sent shivers through Anna's body.

"Do you think he'd watch us?" 

"For sure. He loves to watch. He has a voyeuristic side. He'd get hard watching you go down on me, he'd jerk off on the sight of you pounding your big cock into my pussy." Anna whispered through clenched teeth, panting and moaning when Henry licked her again.

"I'm sure he'd hate it. Hate that we turn him on so much though he detests the thought of you and me being together." Henry said with an evil little grin, looking her in the eyes, his gaze full of arousal, his lids heavy with lust.

"Absolutely. That would be the perfect punishment for him...Fuck, Henry…"

Anna gasped when he penetrated her with his tongue and a finger at the same time quickly, hitting just the right spot. He raised his head again with a smirk.

"Well...let's punish him."

"Yeah, let's make him suffer." she raised her hips with a long moan when Henry started eating her out, bringing her close to the edge so soon, Anna almost felt pathetic for being such a thirsty slut for him. 

He seemed to read her mind when he stopped for a moment, looking at her. "Already close?" he said with a smug smile that turned her on even more. "My little princess is such a filthy whore in bed."

"Babe...go on." Anna pleaded whimpering.

Henry started fingering her, keeping her right on the edge of her orgasm.

"God, you're so wet, princess. Wet and ready to come for me, right baby girl?"

"Yes...fuck...yes." She was a sweaty, horny mess now, desperately longing for her orgasm.

"Yes what, princess?" Henry growled, still finger fucking her roughly.

"Yes, Daddy." she hissed.

"Good girl." 

He buried his head between her thighs with a sly grin and finished the job with all he had to give, making her cum hard and loud, screaming his name repeatedly.

"Now daddy needs his release. Turn around, princess, get on your knees and lift that juicy ass for me." He rapped out his orders and Anna obeyed without hesitation. Giving her a smack on her butt, Henry rammed his cock into her pussy ruthlessly and started to reward her for taking him so well with a few very deep and slow thrusts before he increased speed, railing her almost into oblivion. 

"Yes, princess." he groaned, breathing heavily. "That's it...fuck…"

He came with a loud animalistic growl, burying his dick balls deep in her cunt, digging his fingers into her hips. He let out one last loud lustful sigh before sinking down on her back. He kissed her neck tenderly. "I bet he would have liked that show, don't you think princess?" Henry rolled off of her and pulled her close, cuddling up to her still a little out of breath.

"Oh I'm sure he'd be quite frustrated and envious now." Anna kissed him gently. "That was fantastic, Darling."

"It was indeed, mylady." Henry grinned and closed his eyes. "And now we better get some sleep. There's a breakfast waiting for us tomorrow morning and we're going to need a lot of energy for it. Unless you don't want to go?"

"Of course I want to go. Lestat Dalmasso is not going to ruin this for me. For us. He's going to pay for what he did tonight. One way or the other. And he better eats humble pie if he wants me to talk to him ever again."

~~~~

"Good morning everyone." Anna greeted cheerfully when they entered the dining room. Holding Henry's hand she pointedly gave Lestat a wide smile sitting down right beside him. Henry took a seat too and after a minute of awkward silence that seemed to confuse George and Thomas, who had missed Lestat's unpleasant scene last night, everyone started to eat and chat, successfully pretending that nothing had happened.

"Alles okay?" Lestat asked her whispering.

"In English please, Lestat. We want everyone to understand what you have to say, don't we?" Anna said without lowering her voice.

George raised an eyebrow, surprised by Anna's sarcastic tone. "Anna, Darling, don't be rude." 

"No, it's fine, George. She's right." Lestat said through clenched teeth. After a while he tried it again.

"Don't be mad at me, okay. I don't know what came over me last night. I was drunk…"

"If that's your excuse you better shut the fuck up." Anna hissed not looking at him.

"Listen, I don't want you to feel bad, I'm trying to explain, okay?"

Anna turned to him, bringing her mouth close to his ear with an innocent smile playing on her lips. "Don't worry, I'm feeling great. Henry made me forget about you last night...he fucked me so hard I almost passed out, I still feel his huge throbbing cock in my pussy. And his sloppy tongue. And his long fingers...God, he made me yell his name so loud when I came, you may have heard it in your room."

Lestat jerked back his head, staring daggers at her unable to say a word.

"Speechless, huh? Shocked? Disgusted? Angry? That's exactly how you made us feel last night." 

"Us?" Lestat rolled his eyes.

"Yes, us. Me. Henry. And all the others. You embarrassed every single one of us." 

Anna spoke out loud now making everybody stare at them.

"By golly, what is going on between the two of you?" Thomas asked, surprise written all over his face. "Have we missed something?"

"Not at all." Anna tried to calm down, taking a sip of her tea. Henry placed a hand on her thigh, squeezing it lightly. "Don't let him upset you again." he said with a worried look on his face.

"He is sitting right here and he can hear you." Lestat bent his head forward, looking Henry straight in the eyes.

"Leute...vielleicht klärt ihr das lieber unter sechs Augen." Jonas said in german, rolling his eyes. "Take a walk in the gardens and resolve your problems." He turned to Lestat. "And you better get your shit together. We've had enough of your drama lately." 

Lestat nodded slowly. "All right. I am more than willing to explain myself. If you're willing to hear me out...both of you…" 

"Sure." Henry said before he turned to Anna. "Princess?"

"Count me in." She got up from a chair with a sigh, feeling all eyes on her. "Isn't it a lovely day for a walk in the park?"

After they had left the room, George looked at Jonas with a frown. "You better fill me in, boy."

~~~~

They walked in silence for a few minutes, crossing the huge lawn that surrounded the castle on three sides to reach the garden with all it's beautiful flowers and fragrant herbs.

Lestat was the one to break the silence when they had passed the garden door, making them stop in their tracks.

"Listen, I really want to try to explain my behaviour, okay? I'm not trying to justify myself, I just want you to know where...it…came from?"

"And by 'it' you mean all the shit that came out of your mouth?" Henry asked with a frown.

"Yes. I...just hear me out, okay? And please try not to interrupt…" He gave Anna a lopsided smile. "All right?"

"Heavens. Stop making a fuss about it and say what you have to say." Anna rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "And please spare us the melodramatic part, just come to the point."

"Fine." Lestat cleared his throat. "Straight to the facts. Fact one: when I came here I expected Henry to be a stupid prick, a mediocre actor who saw a chance to get a foot in the door of aristocracy, to get a little of that glamour and the prestige of a noble house like this." He nodded towards the castle. "I thought he was using you."

Anna was about to say something but Lestat shushed her with a small gesture before she  even managed to open her mouth. Henry took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers.

"Fact two: During dinner I realized quite soon that I was wrong. That Henry is a nice guy with a good heart and it wasn't hard to see that he adores you, that you truly love each other." Lestat paused, taking a deep breath. Anna knew how hard this was for him and she almost felt something like sympathy. 

"Fact three: I was surprised and a little shocked to see how good you and George get along, Henry. To him you're already part of the family after only six months and this showed me how serious your relationship with Anna really is. Maybe more serious than our relationship has been in over 14 years. And this realization really hurt. It still does. I know that all the times I cheated on you did the damage that prevented our relationship from getting this strong and deep but it still fucking sucks, Anna. And you know what jealousy does to me. It turns me into a slimy git. And all that wine I drank made me a drunk slimy grit." Lestat gulped before taking a look around. "Can we sit down on the bench over there? This is somehow exhausting." Anna had to bite her tongue to hold back a nasty comment. 

"Sure." Henry gave Lestat a friendly smile and Anna was a little upset that he'd surrendered to Lestat so easily.

After sitting down Lestat continued.

"Fact four: Eva broke up with me. I know I said I ditched her but it was a lie. Truth is she ditched me because she was sick of me. Sick of my constant complaints about my unfair ex and her asshole boyfriend. And that's a real problem, because I love her. I really do and that means I've been in a foul mood over the last weeks, feeling lovesick and lonely. So seeing you so extremely happy, realizing that Henry is your perfect match and that you do such a great job as the estate manager, I had to admit to myself that you belong here, Anna. That I've lost you for good and that this -this life, this place, this man- is the best thing that could have happened to you and all this felt like a fucking kick in the balls. And you know me, I never take a kick without returning it. So I kicked back." Lestat shrugged with a sigh, indicating that he was done talking.

"Yeah...roundhouse kick." Anna said dryly.

"Yes. And I'm really sorry." He turned to Henry. "I'm sorry for behaving like an asshole, for provoking you, Henry. Please accept my apology. It would be great if we could begin anew."

Henry cocked his head with a frown, nodding slowly before speaking. "I accept your apology but don't expect me to forget what happened last night too soon. It's gonna take time but in the long run I would like it if we could be something like friends or at least not enemies." He offered Lestat his hand and he took it, shaking it visibly relieved. "Thank you, Henry."

Lestat turned to Anna who stared at them, her arms still crossed. "Anna, I'm sorry for embarrassing you, for my terrible behaviour - not only yesterday but over the last months. I know I've been giving you a rough time with my silly jealousy. I promise I will stay out of your way. I'll be there if you need me but I won't interfere anymore. I'm going to let you live your life and I'm going to try to live mine. But please forgive me. Verzeih mir." 

Anna didn't say a word, she just kept staring at him. "This is not so easy." she finally answered. "I accept your apology, Lestat. But forgiveness...this is nothing I can give you right now. This is going to be a process. Maybe someday I'll be over all this. You. Me. Our relationship. All this mess. But this day is not today and it won't be tomorrow or anytime in the near future." She took a deep breath. "I need time."

"Sure. Take all the time you need. All I ask for is the chance to remain a part of your life. As your friend." 

Anna nodded. "You'll always be my friend, Lestat. A distant friend for now. Maybe a close friend again someday. We'll see."

"Okay. That's more than I could hope for." Lestat said with a grateful smile. He offered her his hand but Anna didn't take it. Instead she pulled him into a quick hug. "Just stop being such a pain in the ass. And please, for everybody's sake, win Eva's heart back, okay?"

"I promise. Thanks, Anna."

"Well, what about breakfast now? I'm starving." Henry said with a big smile. He was incredibly relieved that this argument was settled. Now that this problem was solved he would finally be able to put this idea into action, that had been on his mind for weeks. 

#henry cavill #henry cavill fandom #cavillry #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfiction #friends to lovers #smut #henry cavill smut

[thechekhov]

Do you ever worry that someday you'll unknowingly post something that's unintentionally offensive and you didn't know it was offensive, so you apologize and take it down, but people won't take your apology and cancel you anyway even-though you repented. I worry about that, any advice? We all make mistakes, but so many people now a days don't accept apologies... : (

Hmmm... Do I worry about making an ‘offensive’ post? I suppose I do, sure, as much as anyone. I am aware that I’m not perfect, I have made mistakes in the past and I will make mistakes in the future. 

I try to be critical and judge the info I’m giving out and reblogging carefully, but we’re all human, and we’re all prone to mistakes. I don’t think there’s anything shameful about being wrong about something as long as you’re willing to learn. I really love learning - I’m a teacher. I think learning and making mistakes is one of the most important things there are. 

None of us popped out of the womb knowing everything, nor did we always know the correct terms for everything, or what was hurtful and what wasn’t. Many of us even grew up in an environment that actively taught us incorrect or skewed worldviews. I think the process of unlearning that should be praised, and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt - naivety in itself is not malicious. 

As for apologies and worrying that they won’t be enough...

Well, that’s a bit more tricky. It depends on what I’m prioritizing, right?

1) What am I more scared of - doing harm or being rejected?

Am I more scared of hurting another person with my words, possibly perpetuating something bad?

Or am I more scared that some of my followers will leave/hate me?

[Image Description: A flowchart depicting two ways a situation can go. In the first, topmost panel, a figure is showing a sign to a group of three other figures. The sign reads x > y. The group appears to be contemplating this. 

In the first way a scenario can go, a panel below depicts the figures getting mad at the sign-holder. They are ranting at them angrily and the sign-holder appears upset and anxious.

In the second way a scenario can go, another panel depicts the group having gone a little ways away from the sign-holder. They are now pursuing a new figure with the letter Y on their chest. The group begins to rant at the Y figure instead, following the beliefs the sign-holder had inadvertently taught them.]

We’re social creatures, and rejection for a mistake, for failing to read the room, for breaking some moral code, is pretty scary for us. We don’t like it when we don’t get along with people in our groups. We want to make up. We want to live in harmony.

Is that scary to think that I’ll post something on accident and cause negative feelings? Make people hate me? Well, I definitely don’t want it to happen. 

What I mean when I say ‘I don’t want it to happen’ is not ‘I don’t want people to hate me’. I mean ‘I don’t want to hurt people.’ I worry I’ll post something and end up causing undue harm with my words. 

To be honest, I can handle backlash - I am a whole ass adult human, I have a job, I have a life outside of the blog and, given enough time away from the keyboard I know I’ll barely be affected by a few mean messages sent my way. 

2) Action and Reaction

Do I think sending people death threats online as a way to ‘punish’ them back into ‘proper’ behavior is acceptable? No, absolutely not. 

But barring those extreme cases, if I post something harmful, something that perpetuates racism, or prejudice, or incorrect information and I get people commenting at me at an angry manner - I’m not the only person hurting in this situation. I may feel negatively about backlash but also, I may have legitimately done harm to others as well. I need to take both things into account.

Rejection is a reaction, not something people decide to do out of the blue. If you post something bad, people will call you out. And sometimes you’ll apologize and they’ll decide that you may be trusted... and sometimes they won’t. 

And both of those things are alright. People make up or people unfollow and move on. People decide on their own how to tailor their online experience. People decide on their own whether to forgive someone or whether they’re not gonna risk that again and just put some distance there. 

3) It’s not a personal. 

It’s not personal, no matter how much it feels like it should be, because... they don’t know you personally. It’s difficult to know whether an apology is sincere online. Most people you interact with don’t know what type of person you are, and how well you learn from your mistakes. And to you, yes, it may seem like unfair judgement, but most people are just doing their best to avoid being hurt. 

If you’re scared of being rejected for making a mistake - that’s normal and natural. You’re allowed to be scared. Making a statement, any sort of statement, always carries with it a risk of retaliation. 

But the important thing is to focus not on the reaction of the audience, but on the reaction of the people affected by your words.

You mentioned the fear of your apology being accepted. But I would have to disagree a little bit here. 

The function and goal of an apology is not to be accepted.

The function of an apology is to communicate that you understood in what way you harmed someone. 

If you are prioritizing the outcome of the apology more than the content of the apology itself... I’m afraid that’s going to skew your results.

Whether or not someone accepts your apology is none of your concern, trust me. It doesn’t really matter whether or not they do - because regardless of that fact, it won’t change anything, including whatever it is you did to make people angry/upset. 

The goal should probably be to try to understand better, learn more. Keep in mind: it doesn’t mean just blindly changing every viewpoint people get angry at you for - it means evaluating critically whether that criticism is justified, and, if it is, adjusting your behavior to do less harm.  

Sorry, went off on a little tangent there.

TL;DR: Learning is good. Making mistakes is a part of learning. 

But in the process of learning and making those mistakes, you may hurt other people, and they are also allowed to be angry at you for hurting them. Both of these things can and should coexist as true statements.

#Anonymous #chekhov answers

[petitommo]

re: (not so) small rant about Theo, Liam and season six of Teen Wolf

(original post by @livingbythewords, you can find it linked here. i originally wanted to reply to the post, but replies are turned off. i’d reblog it, but it’s pretty long, so i wanted people to get to choose whether or not they wanted to read it...)

i saw this post in the liam tag when i woke up yesterday, and i kept sporadically thinking about it and discussing it with people (and in my own head), and i definitely have some thoughts about it, not gonna lie... still, as i said, absolutely feel free to ignore this if this ain’t your cup of tea at all, but if you wanna hear my thoughts about 1. livingforthewords’ post and 2. theo, liam and season six of teen wolf, feel free to look under the line break :)

(i’ll be posting some of the lines from the original post for context to what i’m saying, but if you do wanna read my answer, i recommend reading the original post as well! let me also preface this by saying this is in no way meant as hate towards the creator, sceo as a ship, or scott mccall as a character. i found some parts of this post had traces of what i’d consider to be a harmful way of thinking about fandom and shipping, and i wanted to adress it.)

the post mentions early one that liam brings theo back to use him, and that as soon as he finds out theo no longer has josh and tracy’s abilites, he wants to send him back. that the only reason he doesn’t is because theo remembers stiles. with this, you say that you see thiam shippers claim that liam does it from the goodness of his heart.

personally, i’ve never seen claims that that was the reason liam did it. i have, however, seen (and personally think this myself) that theo coming back from the hell he’s been put in by the hands of liam, might make theo quick to develop a bond or feeling of gratitude towards liam. there’s no doubt in my mind that theo understands why liam did it — but even then, it still got him out of there. in canon, no other pack member but liam even entertained the idea of getting theo back — i think theo is very aware of this, as well — which in itself automatically makes liam the safest pack member for theo to latch onto, from the get go.

Liam distrusts and despises Theo – and it never changes throughout the course of the show.

again, with the basis of liam and theo’s developing aquaintance in season six (heavily conveyed through non verbal communication - both in the form of touches/glances/body language and the things written between the lines; the things not specifically worded, but definitely said through their dialogue), there’s a lot that can be up for interpretation.

when i watched the show, i saw two characters who, yes, clearly had a shared hatred towards each other, learn how to work together and develop a tentative trust (that only grew throughout the season). i saw two characters that shouldn’t work together, work together insanely well, to the point where no verbal communication was strictly necessary.

my point is, thiam as a ship is heavily influenced by interpretation of what you see in their dynamic, and i find it troublesome that you look at other people’s interpretation and publicly say;

However, shipping someone and having fun with it is not the same as twisting into knots to try to prove that canon supports something, when it doesn’t.

especially when you follow this up by saying;

Yes, there is a person who acknowledges that Theo has changed. Who trusts and supports him even when they have no reason to. Who is always there for him and tries to treat him fairly even after being incredibly hurt and betrayed.

But that person isn’t Liam.

because you and i watched the same show, and we clearly have majorly different interpretations of season six; of theo’s relationship with people post-hell; of liam dunbar as a character.

however, i am not gonna claim that you’re wrong, and i’m right. your interpretation is entirely different from mine — and yes, based on what i saw, i do personally think you’re wrong, but here’s the thing; i understand that interpretation of this is just that; interpretation. theo isn’t canonically linked with anyone, therefore i cannot say that thiam is right and sceo is wrong — even as that’s my personal view of it.

back to the theo and liam and thiam shippers adressed in this post;

i want to preface my response to this with the fact that i myself have been/are in healthy BDSM dynamics. i have also jokingly said that theo ‘probably enjoyed it’. i have online friends who have joked about theo enjoying it. and here’s the thing; none of the people i know seriously think theo, in that exact setting, enjoyed it.

a great thing about fandom and shipping is the exploration and discovery of one’s own sexuality. we often talk about it openly; we discuss it with people, we’re ‘horny on main’, we learn from fellow shippers, we read fanfiction. we joke around with stuff.

there’s no doubt in my mind that people do not think theo raeken got pulled back from hell, chained up and forced to follow liam and hayden around, and actually enjoyed it at that moment. however, can i personally see theo as a character that would enjoy being chained up in other situations? yes. a lot of us do. and so we joke about it.

joking about certain aspects of a BDSM relationship when you’re looking at/reblogging things from canon does not undermine how important a proper and healthy BDSM dynamic is.

the post also touches on theo being a traumatized kid with unhealthy coping mechanisms. this is, without a doubt, the core of theo as a character. however, by putting it in the context of why it’s wrong to joke about him being a sub/rope bunny, feels so misplaced to me. a lot of kinks develop from the trauma we have (talking from experience). a lot of kinks develop at — seemingly — random (talking from experience). being traumatized doesn’t automatically mean we develop kinks, sure, but it also doesn’t mean we do not develop kinks.

without a doubt - chaining him up and dragging him behind them was not a kind thing to do; i don’t think anyone disagrees with that. but at the end of the day, these are characters. theo is a character we’ve barely gotten to know, especially post-hell theo, so he develops in our mind, we have headcanons, we think of personality traits that weren’t shown in canon. some of those pertain to his sexuality, and that’s okay.

this also pertains to your gripe with people looking at canonical depictions of thiam and seeing it as love. again, even in the thiam shipping part of fandom, we have majorly different interpretations of certain scenes, and that’s okay. i’ve touched upon the importance of acknowledging that thiam as a canonically hinted at couple is all up for personal interpretation of their canonical depiction; this also means that people will see things very differently.

the original post was mainly aimed at theo and liam as a ship, so i won’t get into the comments about liam as a character that much, but i will say this;

even you yourself mention that liam absolutely has reason to resent theo. but, you go on to claim that liam doesn’t have as much reason for resentment as other characters.

liam might not have been personally wronged by theo in season five as much as other characters, i will agree with that. but, he did watch theo’s actions and influence in the things done to mason, to hayden, to scott. all people he loved. this, in itself, is reason enough to build resentment towards a person.

it’s also important to remember that theo lessened liam in his mind to the beta with anger issues, stripped away every complex part of liam and simplified him into this one trait that liam himself has struggled with and tried to distance himself away from.

liam struggling with being depicted as a monster — pre supernatural; because of IED, supernatural; as a werewolf — has been canonically shown so many times. it’s gotten us the line of «you’re not a monster. you’re a werewolf, like me.». we’ve been showed, time and time again, that liam has a complexity within him that is constantly undermined — by brett, by stiles, and yes; by season 5 theo.

sadly, i also see liam simplified and put into the box of beta with anger issues by the fandom. this also, from what i’ve read on your blog and from statements about liam in this post, includes you.

how does that change in season six? let’s get back to the claim at the start of this post; of thism shippers claiming liam is the only one who trusts and supports theo, and look at it this way; theo — previous homicidal maniac out to ruin the pack (put simply; we’re both theo apologists, we know there’s more to him than that) — is one of the first people to look at liam’s anger and not let it be his only character trait.

the post mentions glances in the truck scene; this is what the truck scene (in my mind) is really about. theo acknowledges — even if not explicitly stated — that the anuk-ite’s ability to raise fear in people, raises anger in liam. he sees that liam’s anger is a direct consequence of the anuk-ite; he sees that the fear instilled in liam translates into anger; because of IED. this lets liam be a character that has IED, instead of just liam - the angry character.

this, again, is my interpretation of this scene. you might not have seen it that way. once again proving that this is a ship based on interpretation.

claiming that interpreting scenes is twisting canon until it fits your idea of it, is such a harmful way of looking at shipping. i have never interpreted anything romantic between scott and theo in canon, and could, in turn, claim that you twist canon until it fits what you want. but i’m not going to, because your interpretation of things doesn’t have to fit mine.

you can’t write a rant about thiam as a ship, state that you don’t want to tell anyone who to ship and that certain ships are wrong, and then undermine every interpretation anyone has had about liam and theo as a ship.

we’ve all seen the same season of teen wolf, we’ve all seen the exact same scenes (there are no version of the show you watched); but we’re all very different people. we interpret things very differently.

AND THAT IS OKAY.

do not undermine people’s ship. if you hate thiam, just stay away from it. don’t expose yourself to it. ignore it for all it’s worth.

it’s that easy.

#feel free to ignore this ppl :) #just had to get it off my chest #thiam meta #of some sorts?

[quasieli]

top six: fictional characters that give you gender envy, flowers, little things that make you happy and d&d moments :D

Ooh lotsa questions!

Gender Envy:

1) Bow from She-Ra (2018). Something about buff athletic dude who wears crop tops and is soft as hell is very Gender to me.

2) Vax from Critical Role. Pretty boy, kinda goth rogue? That’s sexy as hell and I wish that was me. 

3) In a wildly different idea of gender envy, I’ve been thinking about it lately and @quantum-lesbian’s character in the Frostmaiden game I’m in with them, Ambrose, is Big Gender. Beautiful non-binary drow with a starry and kinda witchy aesthetic that dresses super grandly and ostentatiously no matter the occasion? Yes please.

4) Pete from The Unsleeping City, specifically season two. I adore season one Pete but season two Pete that works in a queer bookshop and has a teapot arcane focus, is artsy and is unapologetically a trans man who doesn’t give a shit about gender roles? Sign me the fuck up.  

5) Beau from Critical Role. Buff GNC lesbian mixed with academia, but like academia from the prospective of a grad student with ADHD trying to learn everything about their special interests? A+, I love her and I’m jealous. 

6) I’m gonna cheat a lil bit for this last one. I know the prompt is fictional characters, but Julia Lepetit and Jacob Andrews in their Hitman streams? Simultaneously both of them were Gender for me. Jacob esp felt like that for me, which is weird cause dresses can make me dysphoric, but I am also slightly envious of the Dude in a Dress type of gender presentation. 

Can you tell that I’m a confused trans masc enby

Gonna put it under the cut from here cause oof, there’s still a lot more.

Flowers:

1) Big slut for Sunflowers, always have been, always will be.

2) Fun fact, my dad’s family used to own a flower shop (in like the 70s, so I never got to see it :(), and one of their big things was hydrangeas. My dad has always loved them and now I love the snowballs too!  

3) A recent favorite, the Baker’s Globe Mallow. It’s a type of flower that only grows from the soils of forests that have been affected by wildfires. It’s a simple little flower but I love the idea of something beautiful rising from the ashes after tragedy. A little dramatic, but I’m queer, ofc I’m dramatic.

4) Roses are another important flower to my family (Rose was a family name for a couple generations), and ya know, they’re a classic. 

5) There’s this beautiful magnolia tree in front of my house that blooms with the most beautiful white and pink flowers every spring, and it’s one of my favorite things to see every year. 

6) There’s so many different types of Lillies and they’re all very pretty, but the Purple Stargazer is prob my favorite.

Little Things That Make Me Happy:

1) My cat, Maddie. She may be a cranky girl at times, but she is also very sweet and will always be my baby (even though she is 12). 

2) Not a little thing really, but my best friend. Just getting a sweet/silly text from her or the two of us chilling in a room, sitting in a comfortable silence because we just like being together, nothing better. 

3) Baking, esp if I’m doing it for others. I’m not much of a sweets person myself, a little treat every once in a while type person, but I love baking. It’s a very relaxing process for me, even when it can sometimes get stressful, but seeing people enjoying something I made, especially something that brought me great joy to make, is simply the best. 

4) In the same sorta vein, crafting and other art, but that’s a bit more personal. I love making things for others, but art, particularly drawing, is something I do more for me. It’s such a great feeling when you can get into a really good art mood and just sink yourself into a project. I love it.

5) My plush toys. Yes, I am a 23 year old, no I will not stop loving my plushies. I just got a few new friends, which I made a post about recently, and they such good cuddle buddies. However, there is one king amongst them all. I have this old, beat up christmas puppy beanie baby, on his tag named Jingle Pup, but I just call him Jingle. I had one version of him since I was like 6, but he currently lives on a shelf cause he is very beaten up and fragile, but his “brother”, who I got when I was 8, is still in kinda good shape and is currently chilling on my chest as I type this lol.

6) Again, not a little thing, but it’s important to mention; D&D. The game itself is such a joy, but truly the best part of it is the people. I love creating stories and memories with people through this weird little game. Truly one of my favorite things to do.

D&D Moments:

These are all gonna be personal moments, rather than anything from actual play shows/podcasts. RC is Reforged Campaign, where I play Saube, and FM is Frostmaiden, where I play Sparks.

1) RC - Meeting Mahety, Saube’s girlfriend. We met her way back in session 12 and we are now up to like session 73. Saube saw her and was immediately big heart eyes at her but also felt a bit awkward and shy. So, being a game a dice, I decided to roll. 10 or higher, Saube would talk to her, 9 or lower, she’d stay put. I rolled a 17, 17 is now a lucky number for me. I love Mahety and I’d die for her. 

2) FM - This was an insane fight that should not have been so crazy, but in a fairly early session, my group went up against an angry druid and her awakened animals. So much batshit stuff happened in that fight, and we unfortunately lost our bread loving bard (RIP Agneyis), but one of my favorite combat turns happened in this fight. Our artificer, Omaren, has a robe of useful items and one of the patches on it creates a large pit. Thinking quickly, Omaren tore off the patch, slid it under one of the dire wolves we were fighting and created a looney tunes style pit under it, allowing us to take it out easily via pot shots. Such a clutch move and such a funny visual, especially because the dire wolf kept failing the checks to get out of the pit.  

3) RC - Saube’s Zebrith (I will never remember how this actually spelled RIP). So, for context, Saube ended up with a death curse (long story) that mechanically meant they had disadvantage on any death saving throws. Scary as hell, need to get that fixed! So, Saube and their party had to be smuggled into another country to talk with some religious leaders of a goddess known as The First, the goddess of death. They were told that Saube would have to go through the aforementioned ritual, which included her soul leaving her body for a short period of time. During this ritual, her friends had to call back to her, to say things that would bring her back to her body and I still cry thinking about that game. That ritual was not only important for Saube bodily, but spiritually as well. After that ritual, Saube officially became a cleric of The First! 

4) A real sappy one, RC - Saube meeting all of her friends. Anyone who follows along with the rantings on my blog probably knows how important this game is to me. I met this random group of strangers on tumblr and formed a D&D party with them and now, a year and a half later, I honestly think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I know that sounds silly and dramatic but not only has this game brought me so much joy and comfort, but I also gained a group of really amazing friends who have been nothing but amazing since day one. As much as Saube knows she can depend on SICL, I know I can depend on my group of weirdos lol. We both love our friends very much and even though we’ve all been through some crazy shit, we wouldn’t change it for the world.    

5) RC - Just playing Saube in general. I really didn’t intend for it to be this way, but Saube is very much a reflection of myself. She is the first long term character I have ever played and so much of me is in her. I try not to treat D&D like therapy, because that’s unfair to my DM and fellow party members, but playing Saube has allowed me to work through some of my own problems, especially social anxiety, in a lot safer of an environment. It isn’t so much that I’m asking this game to help me fix my life, but playing out these scenarios that, in the real world, would make me anxious or make me freak out, I can stop, take a moment to breathe and work out these issues in a way that makes sense to me. Playing her has led me to understanding myself a bit better, as well, and that’s truly such a wonderfully unexpected gift from this whole experience. 

6) Lastly, a silly one: RC - Getting a crit 6. The last session of this game got real interesting. Saube’s party ended up in the ethereal plane and magic got real fucky there. So, any time any of us tried to cast a spell, we’d roll a d20, not look at the result, and then try to guess what number rolled. The closer to the number, the better the result. A few times, a few people managed to get within like 3 or 4 of their roll, but oh the power I felt when I rolled a 6 (on Saube’s die!) and guessed it correctly! So, not only did the spell (Bless) work, but it worked super well. So instead of getting +1d4 to attack rolls and saving throws, Saube and two other party members got +2d4 to attacks, saving throws and skill checks. So powerful I broke the rules of D&D lmao. 

#asks #ask games #floralprintshark #D&D #Flowers #Saube #Sauhety #SICL #Sparks #long post #thanks <3 <3