#that was a long one lmfao ive talked about this stuff so many times with my discord server that it’s kinda automatic at this point | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kvrokasaa · 3 months

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karasu comforting overachiever!reader with a lot of anxiety?

my exams are around, ive cried 6x and had a mental breakdown in 3 days. and im a good student at heart but not on paper. im trying😭

take care! love❤️

I can relate to this sm, I promise myself that I’ll study but then it gets late n all I wanna do is sleep lmfao. But I hope you’re doing alright, love. Remember to drink lots of water and eat lots of food! And take breaks when studying so you don’t get headaches!

Sorry I posted this so late, but here it is.

Cw: crying, fluff, comfort, friends to lovers, cursing, not proofread. lmk if i missed any!

Wc: 1.1k

Overachiever!

Karasu is like your best friend, he’s always been there for you and promises he always will. Even when he left for a program called Blue Lock, he still managed to talk to you. Especially when you were going through a nasty breakup with your ex. He has always been there for you.

Something Karasu noticed over the years of being your friend; you’re an overachiever and a perfectionist. You have to get good grades, it’s like it was hard-wired in your brain since you were a child. If you didn’t get a good grade, even on a test that was optional or didn’t have any impact on your overall grade, you would feel so ashamed and full of anxiety. You were afraid of your teachers hating you, honestly, you’re just afraid of authority figures. You would always try to hide your feelings behind a fake smile, and sometimes it worked. But this time it didn’t.

You were in your room studying, all day long. No matter how many times people tried to pester you, or ask you to take a break, you would decline and go back to studying. You needed to get a good grade. You had stayed up all night long studying and going over the crucial information that would be on the final.

So why? Why do you have an 84% on your final? Why isn’t it at 100? Other people congratulated you, saying that the test was really hard. But you know that Mia, the top student, got the perfect score without even trying.

You tried this year, you really did. You made a resolution that you would try your hardest this year; that you wouldn’t give up so easily like last year. And you know that bad habits die hard, but you were doing so well. Even though this isn’t your last year, you feel like you failed at school.

‘Take a deep breath. Failure is the one pathway to success.’ Karasu’s words came floating into your mind. But you could still feel the onslaught of the tears and the tightness of the pain in your chest. You tried to take a deep breath but it wasn’t enough, it felt like all the oxygen in the world just vanished.

You don’t know how you got home, all the memories of the people saying ‘Good job’ and ‘Don’t beat yourself up, you did better than me’ are the only ones you can remember. All you want to do is crawl into your bed and cuddle your stuffed bear while you cry. But you have to study more; you have to study for your next classes. You can’t just give up because of one class. Oh but how badly you want to.

A sudden knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts. “Come in.” You cringed at the crack in your voice, quickly you straightened your posture and pretended to be okay.

But all of that faux hope and happiness faded away when you saw the unmistakable blue eyes. The tears came rushing back, along with the shaky breaths.

Karasu walked over to your desk and smiled down at you. “Hey, just wanted to stop by,” his hand raised, revealing a bag with your favorite restaurant name. “I brought your favorite.” His voice died down, almost to a whisper when he saw your tears.

You quickly wiped them, but the red streaks were still there. He sighed and sat down on your bed. “It’s okay, Y/n. Stuff like this happens, don’t worry about it too much.” You shook your head. “No, I should worry about it,” he raised a brow. “Why?”

You felt a little agitated because he couldn’t understand. Of course he couldn’t, he’s always been the type of person to get good grades without even trying. Knowing him, he probably slept through most of his classes and still got a 95 or higher on his final. Typical Karasu.

“Because who would I be if I don’t have good grades? I know that grades don’t matter much in the world, but I’m the one who feels the shame. I’m the one who has to remember what it feels like to try your hardest and still fail.” You felt like pulling your hair out, breaking things, just something to ease your mind. To ease the pain.

He brings his hands up to your cheeks, squishing them a little which brings a smile to his face. “Remember what I always tell you. ‘Failure is a pathway to-’ ” “To success. I know that, but still,” You move your head, making him release his grip. “I don’t want to fail, I don’t want people to remember me as the person who always failed.” Your voice was almost higher than a whisper, but he still heard you loud and clear. Karasu could hear and feel the pain from your voice.

“You-” you release a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself down. “You wouldn’t understand.”

‘Ironic’ he thinks, you’re the one who’s not understanding. A simple grade doesn’t define who you are as a person.

“Y/n look at me.” He grabs your face, “You are doing your best, you’re trying your fucking hardest and I’m so proud of you for that. You’re way smarter than what people give you credit for.” You try to shake your head, but his grip on your jaw tightens. “No. I don’t want to hear you deny anything. You need to understand that it’s okay to fail, it’s okay to feel helpless after a bad grade. But it’s not okay to beat yourself up. Don’t worry too much about how this grade, which is a passing grade, will affect your future.”

Karasu pulls you in for a hug. You close your eyes and bury your face in his chest. “You’re in the present right now, not the future. And I’m sure the future you are a CEO; trust me I can see it.”

You both laugh at his words. You sniffle and look up at him, “thank you, I really needed that.” He nods his head; his eyes looking from your eyes to your lips. “Anytime, I mean it.”

This is what you expected, a lecture and comfort from Karasu. It’s what you wanted. But what you didn’t expect was his lips on yours. Before you could enjoy the moment, he pulled back and smiled down at you. “Safe to say that I think you return my feelings,” your eyes darting everywhere but his and your little nod was a good enough answer for him. “And as much as I want to kiss you again. Our food is getting cold.” He pulled you down onto the bed along with the bag of food. “Let’s eat.”

#bllk x reader #bllk #bllk x you #blue lock #bllk karasu #karasu tabito x reader #karasu tabito #bllk fluff #bllk comfort #tabito karasu x reader #tabito karasu #tabito x reader

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checkadii · 3 months

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[blearily] might as well

Hi I’m making a hashtag pinned post tm. So uh yeah

My name is Dol/Check, either works! I use any pronouns, don’t really mind, but occasionally I fiddle w the ones I display on profile :]

(If you know me on the tmi sever that changes like. Every month if not every week lmfao)

shhh. I made a strawpage

I’m going to be so honest right now. I don’t know what to put here. info below question mark

Fandoms I’m mainly part of and may have drawn art for:

- The Magnus Archives/Protocol

- (but if you’ve seen my tma art you know it’s mostly Jon. And Martin. Jmart. Sometimes Mike Crew. I had horrible Jonahbas brainrot at one point and want to redraw so many of those drawings because why do they look like anime gi(EXPLOSIONS))

- Malevolent

- No1 Yellow defender

- Trigun

- (IVE BEEN GOING SO CRAZY OVER IT)

- Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware

- (I have a comfort character. It’s obvious who it is atp. I apologize for that (not really))

- Freeman’s Mind

- HES FUCKING INSANE I LOVE HJM I need to start s2

- Ultrakill

- (I can’t draw robots. Or armour. i think I’ve drawn v1 on two occasions and that is it. regardless I consume stuff for it often enough I’m putting it here)

Will be adding more as brainrots fester ig!

fandoms im also part off. i think. shhh: Sky: Children of The Light, DnDads, The Walten Files, Resident Evil, Portal, Starkids ( i <3 NPMD), Rise of The Guardians (yes that one), Transformers (soundwave!!… prime series is also cool), Baldur’s Gate, Disco Elysium, Fallen London (camelot my beloved), Detroit: Become Human, Hades Supergiant, Horizon, DOOM, I like analogue horror, Marblehornets, EverymanHYBRID, Fear and Hunger, Faith: The Unholy Trilogy, The Mechanisms, Left 4 Dead, The Stanley Parable, Welcome to Night Vale, ok i think im done

I have 1 (one) singular tag I use. It’s checkadii, got (hopefully) all of my drawings on that thang. Might add more like ocs, Long Reblog Chains, idk!

I don't post nsfw (afaik??? knocks brain), maybe the occasional “she x on my y” joke or something along those lines, but generally I am not comfortable doing so, but there may be reblogs here and there of posts that may be suggestive or nsfw, most of them are probably shitposts ngl. Still!

General DNI applies: zoophiles, pro-shippers, racists, homophobes, transphobes, "rtca", you name it.

conspicuous glance at camera. is that everything. yell at me in asks ig im bad at responding in a timely manner but i also like talking a lot. Might add a section for brushes I use on csp. Or ocs. Maybe ocs. Please talk to me about my ocs

okay bye

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monstersinthecosmos · 9 months

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Hi! I have a bit of an odd question. Do you think it’s possible to read your VC fics having zero familiarity with the source material? More accurately, how can I get acquainted enough with what’s canonically relevant in order to be able to read them? I am a long time fan of alllll your Sheith fics and have read them all so many times I can’t even count anymore. I saw you mention some similarities between Keith and Armand (?) in a comment and Immediately tried reading your latest VC fic but it went right over my head 😭. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate your writing - and how read to filth *I* feel when reading your stuff LOL - so I won’t try, but I hope you can tell it’s a lot. My latest rereading binge was set off when I saw you post about the new chapter of ttsr! on twitter and I lostttt it, I literally think about that fic every day (if you can give me any teasers at all about the next chapter, I will die and hopefully resuscitate when it’s posted). In any case, in the meantime, I’d love to read your other works. Any tips would be much appreciated. Either way, thank you so much for all you’ve already put out there. <3

dfasdhkgj oh my gosh WHAT A QUESTION AND IT'S SOMETHING IVE THOUGHT ABOUT SO MANY FUCKIN TIMES !! You're not even the first to ask! And I've answered in both directions because I've had VC people read my Sheith fics!!! OH LORD OKAY LISTEN LET'S HAVE A SEAT FOR A MINUTE. (Also thank you so much omg 🥹🥹🥹)

Okay to break this down!!! My main two ships I’ve posted about are either Armand/Daniel or Marius/Armand and they can BOTH be Sheith analogs imo, especially because I think Sheith fandom is SO fic heavy and we have so many sort of like established tropes and fanon for the way people approach Shiro!

But starting with Armand on his own, here’s what you need to know: He’s 500 years old but he was turned when he was 17! He’s always going to look like he did when he was 17 in 1497!!!!! He’s from the RENAISSANCE BAYBEE!!! But he grew up spending a lot of time in a monastery and he was ABDUCTED when he was like 14ish and SEX TRAFFICKED! And then he’s found & rescued by a vampire named Marius, who’s like 1500 years old and very lonely and looking for a companion! Marius is convinced that it will backfire if he tries to turn any old rando into a vampire and what he really needs is like a BLANK SLATE that he can groom for vampirism. When he finds Armand, Armand is so fucking traumatized that he doesn’t remember how to talk, doesn’t remember where he’s from, has no memory of being trafficked, etc. Marius is also feeling traumatized so he feels a connection to this person and decides THIS IS THE ONE and he takes care of him for a few years and winds up turning him. (They have a lot of sex and stuff it’s wild.) I actually wrote an AU based on it for Sheith one time on Twitter so this might also explain it!!!

((I'M EXTREMELY SILLY BC I ALSO SHARED THE ART BUT WITH RED HAIR TO BE ARMAND HAHAH))

Then blah blah a lot of traumatic shit happens, they get separated, they don’t see each other until the 1980s lol. Armand also spends like 300 years in a cult. And in the 1970s he meets DANIEL! And if you are aware the first book of this series is called INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, Daniel is the interviewer! He’s the one who interviewed the vampire!!!! And Armand STALKS HIM LMFAO and threatens him and they play a cat and mouse game. But then they start getting used to each other and kinda enjoy seeing each other and they wind up being lovers. This goes on for like TWELVE YEARS during which time Daniel is like slowly killing himself with alcohol because he wants to be a vampire so bad and Armand refuses to turn him. Eventually Daniel is like dying of liver failure or whatever and Armand turns him because he can’t handle the thought of losing him.

What I think Armand has REALLY IN COMMON with Keith and why they’re fun to write about is that like

- They’re both orphans and their experiences being orphaned and losing people at young ages really dictates a lot of their behavior and how they treat others. I think a ton of Keith’s characterization comes down to his abandonment issues and for Armand it’s the same. There’s some added drama with Armand because he’s a vampire so like, he’s so convinced that vampires can’t have meaningful relationships with their makers (because of his own maker) that he can’t bear to turn Daniel. It’s a lot like how Keith, in his human version, can’t get close to people and doesn’t even try to. Even looking like the entire time he’s with Voltron he really never bonds with anybody, even way later in canon when he admits he doesn’t think any of them are friends. AND HOW HE FUCKIN HAS NO ISSUE LEAVING THE TEAM TO JOIN THE BLADES BECAUSE HE’S NEVER FELT SUPPORTED BY ANYBODY EXCEPT SHIRO?

- I think also that Keith deliberately makes himself unpleasant to people (ie: immediately stealing Shiro’s car) so that he can have some control over people coming in and out of his life. Like, if he pushes them away first they can’t leave him. And like with Armand, his cult years remind me of this too. Like in VC there’s a LOT of Catholicism in the themes of the writing and Armand was very religious when he was alive, and then he winds up indoctrinated by this cult. He spends 300 years living in filth, in rags, under a cemetery, not allowing himself any type of creature comforts because the cult believes that vampires are a tool of the Devil. In VC there’s a lot of themes of like, abstinence/absolution/penance and so I think there’s some thematic resonance here when it comes to like, forcing yourself to be uncomfortable because you think you deserve to be. And also just like, after a life of abandonment and trauma picking SOMETHING to have control over, even if it's not healthy.

- A huge theme in VC is also the concept of the vampire as the outsider, which is how the author intended it. So like all the ways vampires are on the outside of society or humanity is always kind of infused to the stories and I think same can be said for Keith being Galra!!!!! And in VC there’s always this thing about how like, the vampires all do terrible things and the stories still ask us to love them, and I think the vampires always eventually are just asking to be loved! They’re all just looking for love !!! And I MEAN. I MEAN???? KEITH?????

- On a shallow note, smol angry bby lol

- This is completely headcanon territory but I think they each have the same AUTISM CODING; both fandoms notice this lol. Just that they’re like, KINDA WEIRD AND PRICKLY? Don’t always understand social customs, often deadpan! <3 Armand has a lot of sensory stuff in canon and I think we see this a TON in Sheith fic even though it’s never said specifically on the show that Keith probably gets sensory overload from his Galra traits.

So when it comes to fics, what I love about this is that like I’m sure you’ve noticed like there’s such a WIDE SPECTRUM of Sheith fic because they are so wholesome and support each other so much and are just such a beautiful ship? But then they also fit all the like smut tropes LMFAO like the size difference, the mentor/mentee, Shiro being daddy af, etc. So I think like if you were to read either of these VC ships you could sort of imagine a Sheith analog to make it make sense, whether you want it to be loving or if you just want NASTY DISRESPECTFUL SEX.

Marius/Armand is a bit like canon Sheith in that there’s the age difference, the size difference, and it’s teacher/student. As an AU you can say: Shiro is an ancient lonely vampire who purchases a trafficked boy to be his apprentice.

The catch here is like! Marius is a really polarizing character in VC fandom because he can be kind of an arrogant prick sometimes LOL. And he’s very obsessed with like, being patient and wise, and he tries REALLY HARD to be patient and wise but he’s actually kind of petty and has a temper. In a lot of ways, Shiro reminds me of like everything Marius WISHES he was. And like both characters are so obsessed with the concept of PATIENCE, even though Shiro is a bit better at it.

And Marius was ALSO abducted by DRUIDS 😭😩😩😩! Weird coincidence! But Marius was turned because he was taken hostage by some druids and forced into like a Wicker Man religious ritual where he was sacrificed to a vampire and turned against his will and he's real salty about it. IT JUST FEELS A LOT LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO SHIRO, RIGHT? Except Shiro is like a modern person who knows how to do therapy or something.

So I think Marius/Armand fics could also fit the kinda Dark!Shiro trope that a lot of Sheith fics have. Like if you picture how Rifa or Aphor have written dark!Shiro LOL or even like how people characterize Kuron sometimes. Like, still Shiro, but, kind of a dark undercurrent happening.

The other catch is that Armand and Marius get separated because they get their house raided by the cult (the one that eventually indoctrinates Armand) and they burnt the house down and it’s traumatic for everybody; Marius is severely injured and has to go into hiding for like 100 years to recover, and by the time he finds Armand again he just sees that he’s fully engaged with this cult and he decides to leave him alone and doesn’t risk trying to rescue him because he thinks Armand has like, found his place with them and he can't risk betrayal/rejection.

And like, this is never exactly in canon, but I just think it has so much to do with Why Armand is Like That, and why he has all these Daddy/Maker Issues, and 500 years later it’s why he’s so squeamish about turning Daniel and just cannot do it.

SO I WOULD POSIT THAT THIS IS LIKE, THE DARK ALTERNATE UNIVERSE OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SHIRO ACTUALLY GAVE UP ON KEITH?????? Like Keith would be fucking crushed, he’d never be okay again !!! 😭😭😭

But having said that, depending what era a fic is set in, Marius/Armand PRE-DISASTER is very much Sheith when it comes to like Daddy & Mentor stuff and that type of vibe. ALSO, IN CANON, A LARGE CHUNK OF THEIR TIME TOGETHER IN THE BOOK IS THEM HAVING BDSM LOL. So there’s that.

Now! Armand/Daniel, on the other hand!!! imo fits really nicely into like Sheith fic tropes/fanon like FERAL KEITH and DISASTER GAY SHIRO. So the AU would be this: Shiro is a nerdy journalist trying to publish a book about vampires, and Keith is a weird creepy vampire who stalks and fucks with him for years until they start liking each other, Keith becomes his sugar daddy, Keith likes to watch him fuck people and they cry a lot because Keith doesn’t think they can be together and he loves Shiro so much he refuses to CURSE him with vampirism because he thinks of it as a CURSE! They do a lot of kinky stuff and need each other but also sort of resent each other.

And in this situation! The thing about it is that in VC canon, Daniel is the person who HEALS Armand the most!! He learns how to be a person again because he has Daniel!!!! AND SO I JUST THINK THIS TOO IS LIKE, SHIRO IS THE ONLY PERSON KEITH CAN BE HIMSELF AROUND, THE ONLY PERSON HE CAN BE VULNERABLE WITH, THE PERSON WHO GIVES HIM STRENGTH AND HELPS HIM BECOME A BETTER MAN!!!! And in some ways I think Daniel is that to Armand, as well, even if it’s in a real fucked up toxic kinda way because of all the stalking and alcohol abuse and whatnot LOL but I think imagining Disaster Gay Shiro can sorta give you a primer! It kinda reminds of that Sochi fic where Keith is a vampire ??? The “You need to eat something” and he hands Shiro a fucking TOMATO?? That fic LOL.

Another way I would TLDR this is like, with the dynamic you want, do you want Vampire!Keith with Human!Shiro (Armand/Daniel) or Vampire!Shiro with Human!Keith (Marius/Armand) ? It changes the power dynamic significantly. I think again within the spectrum of Sheith fanon and the huge culture of fanfics we’ve written that there’s so much space for both to fit as Sheith, like if you want feisty feral Keith or if you want like vulnerable uwu bby Keith. LOL.

One last thing that I think is important to mention LOL is that in the VC lore, the vampires are asexual! Once they become vampires, drinking blood is like THEIR WORLD and it’s so much better than sexual gratification that they lose interest in sex. A lot of VC fic doesn’t honor this but I fucking adore it as an asexual, so if you do decide to check any of my fics out they're gonna be fooling around and not often penetrative sex, because that’s how it is in canon! The vampires will still play with their food and sorta get their pets off but they don’t actually stick it in LOL.

So I talked a lot, I’m not really sure if this answers your question LMAOOOO. If you did try to read any of my VC fics I think this kinda gives you a primer for the relationship dynamics even if misc canon events get dropped or hinted at that might be out of context. I’m always very happy to answer questions if something doesn’t make sense!

Regarding my most recent fic, what I think you’d need to know if you want to take a shot:

It takes place around part of the book where Marius and Armand have a huge fight that ends in a BDSM scene of Marius whipping him and Armand crying and stuff and then getting off lol and then they go out to a banquet and Marius kills a bunch of dudes in front of him, and all the dudes are saying lewd shit to Armand about what they want to do with him and how they want to fuck him and etc.

For Armand & Daniel’s canon, one of the things that happens is that Armand makes Daniel fuck people while he watches, so I decided to ask like, what if this habit is something he LEARNED from Marius, and so I decided to write a fic about Marius watching people fuck Armand after the banquet incident.

Marius has sort of a group home for boys he rescues (but Armand is his fav that he’s grooming lol) so there’s a few mentions of that, and one of the boys is called Riccardo and he’s Armand’s best friend! You’ll also see a namedrop of someone called Bianca who’s this local woman that Marius is in love with lol.

In the fic there’s also some fuckery like name drops of Andrei (Armand’s given name that he doesn’t even remember) and Ivan (his father that he also doesn’t remember) and there’s a scene with “THE PARENTS” aka Akasha and Enkil. And blah blah LONG STORY LMAO but Marius takes care of The Parents, and they’re like the first ever vampires who are so old as fuck and bored that they’re just catatonic in a shrine where he keeps them safe. And he goes to check on them and stuff and he wants Akasha’s approval so bad and wants her to give him a sign that he should turn Armand and she just is hardcore ignoring him and he’s upset lol.

Also if this helps to know, Armand’s name is Amadeo if you see that in fics. Same guy! He changes his name to Armand later when he’s a vampire.

If you check out any Armand/Daniel fics they’re a lot more straightforward, I mostly just write porn about them LOL!!!!!! The book kinda glosses over the twelve years that Armand stalked & then bedded Daniel so my fics are just like trying to think about more details about what went on or think about individual incidents that might have happened.

So yeah!

THIS POST IS A MESS, I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE LOLLLLLLLLLL

I got into VC when I was like 12 years old so it was such a blueprint for me for stuff I like and Marius has always been my favorite character so I think it’s got a lot to do with why I like Shiro so much. And Sheith fandom is such a strong community of writers and I feel like I’ve really thrived there as a fic writer, but I still make time to write about VC because it’s like my main home that I’ll never be able to get over. And I could talk about this all fucking day, I am a disaster!!!

Anyway thank you so much, this was such a nice thing to say. :D Please talk to me about Sheith and vampires any time and if you do decide to read any vampire fics you can always ask if the details are confusing! But no pressure at all man sometimes like I just do NOT get other ships LOL. Like there are authors I love to death and it’s like I’m reading another language if I try to check out their other fics.

And finally, re: teasers…………. flattery will get you everywhere, my friend:

“Oh,” Keith says. His temple grinds against the wall as he turns, trying to roll the stiffness out of his shoulders. And if Shiro is going to pretend to be collected, Keith can do that, too. He can be embarrassed that Kolivan walked in on him getting his ass beat later, but he can play it cool. “Hey.”

Shiro’s eyebrow quirks and he motions towards his upper lip, some attempt to be subtle and polite, but Kolivan speaks over it.

“You’re bleeding,” he says. His arms are folded behind his back and he stands straight up, yellow eyes taking stock of him, of the bots, of the mess in the room.

Keith sniffles. He tastes the blood in the back of his throat. The tip of his nose tingles again and he tugs at the bottom hem of his t-shirt to wipe his face. Cold air hits his exposed belly, and Shiro’s smell gets stronger as he wipes his nose. Less diluted by metalic hint of his own blood. When he looks back up at them, the reality settles in. And Shiro looks small next to Kolivan, but the two of them together make Keith feel like a complete child.

Shiro’s fingers fidget against his helmet some more, and he glances up at Kolivan, watching him for a moment even as he speaks to Keith.

“We just wanted to... check on you,” he says. Keith wonders what Shiro would’ve said if they were alone. And wonder if the adrenaline slowly creeping out of his body would leave him feeling this vulnerable all of a sudden. He turns away from them, finds his discarded baton on the floor and puts it away as an excuse to busy himself.

“I’m gonna go to the med bay,” he says, to spare Shiro the awkwardness of having to tell him to. He wipes his nose on the back of his hand and peeks at the red smear left behind. He tries to blow his nose on the hem of his shirt, not caring that he’s being disgusting. When he looks back up, Shiro’s face is that same diplomatic-neutral, doing his best not to respond.

Being around Kolivan isn’t like being around the Paladins, though. Not like Shiro has to pretend Keith isn’t his favorite. Kolivan had called Shiro his mate last night.

Keith hadn’t told Shiro that, though. Hasn’t seen him alone since. He wonders what Shiro and Kolivan have been talking about. What went on when they watched Keith get brutalized for hours.

He’s still trying to be professional, though. Maybe he’s being submissive to Koilvan. Trying to show they’re not too horny to function in a fucking war.

Your mate. Hah. Keith had been too tired to worry about it at the time. Now, he looks back and forth between them, rolling the word over and over in his head. What a strange thing to say.

The silence is awkward, and he wipes his hands on the tops of his thighs. His pajama bottoms still, and he realizes he’s not wearing shoes. He should leave, and has the excuse to, but the two of them are shoulder to shoulder in front of the door.

“AI is never going to teach you,” Kolivan says. It’s simple, the way he speaks. The pitch of his voice crawls across Keith’s skin. “This program is not smart enough.”

Heat rises in his face. He rubs at his nose again, fidgeting, tasting the blood as it drips down the back of his throat.

Before he can think of anything to say, Shiro is smiling, gesturing. “It’s good for keeping everyone in shape. The weapons programs help teach them proper form.”

“The whole team does this?” Kolivan asks.

Shiro looks from Kolivan to Keith, then back. Keith sniffles again and pinches at his nostrils.

“We have team exercises,” Shiro says. “Keith puts in some extra time on his own.”

Kolivan’s eyes sweep over the room. It twinges in Keith’s stomach, wondering if Shiro can tell where Kolivan is looking. He has to ask later, when they’re alone. But there’s that eerie feeling that Keith gets, in his spine, that he can read Kolivan’s eyes, even without pupils. It makes him wonder what Kolivan even sees. How he sees.

And the idea of it dawns on him, the possibility peeling back and back that maybe one day he’ll be able to ask Kolivan about it. When they’re alone.

For a moment his mouth feels dry. He looks between the two of them again and it sets in that… he’s different now.

Not just literally, like he’s an alien. Besides, he was an alien the whole fucking time and just didn’t know it. No, it’s the knowledge of it. Today is the first day he knows it. And it’s never going to be the same after this. Not really.

Being out here is fucked up. Getting involved was an accident. But. He’s here now. And here’s Kolivan, and Keith can ask him questions, and get to know the others.

Shiro sneaks him a look, while Kolivan is inspecting the weapons rack. It’s an Are you okay? kind of look.

Keith chuckles. He grabs a water as he starts heading towards the door. Claps Shiro on the arm as he passes by.

Who the fuck knows anymore.

🫡

#if you’re a multishipper i can also suggest a hardmode shklance situation #like marius is shiro but daniel is LANCE !! LMAO!!!#yikes =P #ALL MY BLORBEN IN ONE PLACE????? HELLO???#this was my dream ask #i am in a frenzy i am feral #i didnt say this in the text bc i was ranting too long already but theyr'e also neither EXACTLY ORPHANS #like keith's mom is alive!#Armand's mortal family is alive #but he was taken from them!#so they both feel abandoned all the same!

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empyreasheart · 6 months

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I RETURN WITH MORE QUESTIONS. and one topic on my mind. xion xion xion xion xion xion XION shes so interesting and your hcs are always so good do you have any about her or the sea salt trio in general. i miss them so much (also i know you have work to do sorry if this is a distraction from it!! feel free to leave this ask for later)

IM FREEE WHICH MEANSSS I CAN TALK ABOUT MY DEAR DEAR XION!!!! no joke i have been thinking about her all day.

first off i LOVEEE xion so much. whenever i see her get attention and love im so happy. when i see her i have a habit of going "XIONNNN" super loudly.

im putting this under a read more cuz its gotten super long oops

my xion headcanons... well first of all i love every reading of her character as a trans allegory & how people intepret her as either trans or nonbinary! i dont think it was done on purpose but shes been claimed by the commjnity and im so happy about it. transfem xion my beloved. second of all shes autistic TO ME but honestly everyone in soras heart hotel is so thats a given. third of all give me xion with big dark brown eyes or give me death!

what id like to see explored in future games / i fanwork: her identity! we see roxas's frustration and anger about being his own person plenty but we hardly see xion upset at her predicament. i think this is because she wants to do the right thing, not because shes okay with the situation. i really want to see xion's feelings about not having her own identity explored, given that everything about her is based on either sora or his memories of kairi and she was basically created in a lab as a tool for organization 13. she should feel weird about existing in the first place, especially next to roxas and naminé, who dont have the same history behind their creation

in addendum to that, i want to see xions character design change to something more unique. she already has a new outfit, but id love to see her have a new hairstyle (whether she grows it out or just puts it up) so she has something different than a mirror of kh1 kairi's hair. i think ive also mentioned that i think itd be interesting if xion had her own eye color after kh3 (side note its bullshit we never got to see her norted eyes in kh3. she shouldve played a bigger role in the story too but thats another rant) to symbolize that shes her own person now, not a puppet meant to copy sora. lastly she !!! deserves !!! her own keyblade!!! there's so many cool keyblades from days to choose from & theres the weapons from her boss fight - theres no reason for her to still be using the kingdom key and i really hope she gets her own soon.

i keep thinking about what you said about xion not being another "nice" girl character and im like... so true. i dont think xion would be mean i want to go about it in a way that doesnt completely rewrite her character but i think exploring how she copes with her past w/ both organizations & her identity & trauma would be interesting, especially with how it parallels to naminé's own way of coping and dealing with her own trauma. theyre like Shy vs introverted to me lmfao i think xion tries to be friendly but overall she prefers to stay close to the people she feels safe around. i want to see xion be rude but in the autism way where she doesnt mean it shes just not aware. and stuff like that i guess. this paragraph was just word vomit my bad

THE SEA SALT TRIO... theyre seriously the family of all time i love them so much. ill just focus on xion here because this is already super long. BUT AXEL LOVES XION SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SICK THEYRE NOT TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH.. the implication that lea subconsciously keeps his coat on in kh3 so xion (and roxas) can recognize him makes me so emotional. also the fact that lea just clicks with kairi because she also holds a part of xion inside her... AND WHEN HE BUYS HER AN ICE CREAM AND HE DOESNT EVEN REMEMBER WHY HES BUYING THREE. UGH. i love them so much. theyre definitely one of those duos found in the trios that dont get much attention which just draws me towards them more (like riku and kairi). i think lea is absolutely riddled with guilt about the events of days so he never lets xion forget that shes loved. i think xion is touch-averse *except* when it comes to roxas and lea because she feels safest around them.❤️

to end i will discuss roxas and xion . they are like a little orange cat and a little black cat to me. halloween colored. theyre so small i love them so much. i imagine when xion first meets the twilight town gang shes jealous bc roxas has other friends :( but roxas assures her shes super duper special to him and no one else can take her place in his life. they have such a unique bond that i dont know if any of the other characters have with each other. just something so special about those two. when it feels like no one else understands they have each other... and i think that makes for some angst when xion struggles with her own issues that even roxas cant relate to

#ask #THANK U FOR THIS IM SO GLAD TO INFODUMP . I TYPED SO MUCH IM SORRU I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

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raekensarcher · 1 year

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2. 4. 9. 12. 24. 27. 36. 44. 50

omgs okay

2. lighter or matches?

lighter, matches and I have beef fr

4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?

I have actually never thought about ti, let me get back to u on this?

12. what kind of day is it?

a really really long one. but a good one? laughed a lot today. just got back from a work/fun trip in Nashville, had my first night out n bar hopped it was a lot of fun.

24. if we were together on a rooftop what would we be doing?

if its nighttime then stargazing n talking about the universe tbh. daytime, people watching for sure

27. about how many hours of sleep did you get?

uh last night I fell asleep at like 7/8ish, woke up at 10 and went back to sleep then my group got back to our place drunk as shit at 2am yelling so I stayed up w them for a little bit. so, the answer is not enough lmfao

36. how many times have you changed your url?

I think twice? but it was only bc it autocorrected raeken and I didn't notice it

44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

this feel so self incriminating haha

50. can I tag you in random stuff?

yes of course!!!!!! im trying so hard to be more interactive n stuff on here, but ive been so so busy the last three weeks so now I have to play catch up and my notifcations r so fucked but pls pls tag me in things I love it!!!!!

thank u for asking I adore u sm

#ask game #always love seeing u in my notifies!!#fr

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lumoslesbians · 2 years

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Hi so long story short shipping jesslupe and the way its made me imagine my butch4butch dreams for the first time is making me realize i for sure want to get sober bc ive been numbing out bc i haven’t been being myself and i wanna explore being my #trueself while im actually mentally present for it but addiction is a thing sooooooo im going to rehab later this week

And i decided im gonna become a contributing fandom member fucking finally while im there lol

My resources are limited i will not have internet access for a while

But theres still so much i can do music, writing, art stuffs

So im gonna keep a running list of things i wanna try to work on while im there and im posting it to hold myself accountable

Plus representation fucking matters and my story as a jewish queerio child of queer mamas and person who’s been put away in the psych system and stuff like that is super valid and matters

Idk im rly nervous about going to rehab sorry im being a nerd lol just tryna psych myself up

But some things i would looove to work on are:

-drawings! And paintings! I rly just wanna try to art, i need to find pics probably and print them out for reference bc i wont have internet there lmfao *shows up to rehab with a giant stack of pictures of girls playing baseball nbd*

-a friends to lovers fic idk what genre yet but i just wanna ok

-a song about how jesslupe has awakened this ferocious butch4butch energy in me lmao nobody can stop me

-a fantasy au fic! Idk what yet maybe crossover maybe just witchy vibes but something spoopy and fun :))

-a fic with a song in it that im gonna write that one if them writes about the other in the ficverse NOBODY CAN STOP ME FROM BEING THE EMO BITCH I AM DEEP DOWN🖤

-i kind of want to write a fic about them meeting in a psychiatric setting is that so fucked???😬 like i dont wanna inflict that on u all but i feel like it could be rly healing to write idk if i will publish this one lol

-fic where someone is coaching someone else on how to flirt with girls, with the obvious undercurrent that they are both in fact girls and so maybe theyre actually just flirting with each other? this is inspired by my bff and ex who i was talking with the other day and had this dynamic with and we were laughing about it and i was like lmao im writing a jesslupe fic about this so now i have to so i can show her😊

-pwp idk what yet but if im gonna dive in might as well be on the deep end amiright🤷🏻

-gender stuff of any and all mediums just like all the butch/enby feels are gonna get artified

-a personal essay about aloto and my experience watching it with my mamas and realizing so much about my own queer identity but also still having so many questions

-a jo/maybelle fic that is deeply emotional but also gratuitously porny sorry not sorry😂 (what is this ship called bc i vote joybelle)

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aliens-took-my-iwa-chan · 2 years

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i saw you needed some positivity so i am here to send some! also how are things going with you?? why'd you need some positivity? also if im asking too much im sorry, or if you dont wanna talk about it here you can also dm me

i recently sent in the rant about castiel being my blorbo, so here's some more about him and a bit about my other blorbo also from spn- ok so everytime i see cas on screen i just start smiling a lot (same with my new blorbo) like i mean he's so pretty?? i love his personality?? hes just really cool?? okok so the newest blorbo -- gabriel, also an (arch)angel, mc's thought he was a 'trickster' (demigod that can create things) for a while but they were wrong- anyways on to my simping kinda short (but still taller than me) but we like that, he's also pretty a fckn sweet-tooth (like me) BRO I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIS SENSE OF HUMOR (at one point he teleported the "mc's" to "tv land" and i *loved* that episode) theres more but i can hold it in-

tbh i just love the angels (who aren't assholes)

anyways- this is a bit of a long one omg- sorry about rambling again- (even if its allg to ramble im still gonna apologize lol)

yay positivity!!!! :D (oh im so sorry I didn’t mean to worry you, Ive just had a difficult past two weeks and realizing the next two are going to be just as rough was a little disheartening. just a *lot* of stuff to do, no free time whatsoever, and many, many deadlines :/ its nothing too bad, and after these next two weeks everything should hopefully be better!! it just kinda got to me lolol) (im sorry for worrying you, youre so sweet tho I appreciate your concern <3333)

oooo nice more blorbo rambles!!!!!!! :D /pos oooooo that sounds lovely!!!!! hehe your enthusiasm is contagious hfjdjf im getting excited for you just reading this- ^-^

ooooo another blorbo!!!!!!!!!! jfjgjdjf he sounds so cool???? the characters in this show sound so amazing and cool and how can (arch?)angels not be cool hahahshfbf- THE BEST CHARACTERS ARE ALWAYS THE ONES WITH A SWEET TOOTH AND A SENSE OF HUMOR-

pls dont feel sorry for rambling, I’m always happy to hear it!!!!! <333333333

*piles a plate high with cookies and hands it to you*

(oh btw what are your favorite cookies I need to know for urgent matters) (psst its not that urgent Im just interested lmfao)

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intergalactic-chameleon · 1 year

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gender thoughts: friendships with straight boys + girls

i've sort of talked about this before but god being able to make friends or just silly conversation with boys, especially straight boys, really is something that is fun for me. in general, i dont really care about straight men -- i far prefer queer men, and i look up to them way more that i would a straight man (excluding celebrity actor men that i like lol). but regardless, sometimes, having some silly goose banter with another straight guy that i deem Okay enough to enable myself to talk to can be such a special little treat for me. i grew up loving being friends with boys, and had many successful friendships with them, but especially as i went into middle school, rarely did the majority ever truly want to be my friend back. either they had feelings for me that were unwanted/not reciprocated OR more often than not, they just... didn't care. they didn't see me as a Real friend probably bc didn't see me as a viable dating candidate AND i would not dumb myself or my morals down for them to see me as "one of the good ones." and it fucking sucked!! guys in high school were absolutely atrocious when it came to feminism/LGBT stuff which was super disheartening.

but now that im in college (even tho it's ending soon), i feel a lot more... respected as a human being than before. which isn't saying a lot lol, straight men still are misogynist and bigoted in various other ways which make them unappealing to me. but i noticed as soon as i transferred to art school last year, men and women were far more integrated than what i had seen in high school. and seeing that really renewed my faith in making friends with another man, even tho i still probably will stick with queer men as my buddies for my sanity's sake.

in the perspective of my genderqueer identity, getting to positively interact with other masculine people (including men of course) feels so EUPHORIC... even if the other person only sees me as a Girl, i still express myself pretty openly and authentically if given the chance and i feel like they respond well to it. i've noticed a couple guys that ive interacted with once or a few times before that give me a glance while walking past me every now and then, as if to say "i think you're cool. im probably not gonna try and talk to you cuz im shy and unsure if i actually wanna be friends or not, but you intrigue me." of course, i may just be projecting what i Want them to think hahaha. but i swear, when i talk to straight boys like they're my equal, i think that genuinely makes an impression on them. and so they wonder about me. straight boys wanna be my friend but they're emotionally repressed and/or dont deserve my friendship!! and honestly? i kinda... dig that. lmfao. feels like i have the upper hand for once in my life. i swear im not being delusional HAHA.

but yea, anyway... i was just thinking about this because masculinity is weirdly important for me. being able to express it while in camaraderie with someone else is !!! so exciting! feels like im making up for lost time all those years that my male peers rejected me, forcing me to only really interact with girls. and just to be clear, i didn't have a problem with girls at all. they were a far better option than the boys so ofc p much all of my friends were girls for a very long time and expressing myself femininely wasn't like, totally inauthentic. but since i felt like girls were my only choice back in the day, that lead me to sort of repress any masculinity i wanted to express because i knew a lot of girls wouldn't "get" it. i've always felt different from most girls in general - being queer and neurodivergent and all - and trying to fit in with any of them who had any semblance of popularity (and who were usually very pretty + feminine) just... never really worked. to this day, i just dont feel feminine enough to really connect to the vast range of girls i've come in to contact with. a lot of them have access to a certain kind of social capital that i just never will be able to access simply by being more feminine that me. which is ok, i like spending my time exclusively with queer, trans, gnc, neurodivergent people. but yea, i've always kind of felt like an outsider to the womanhood that a lot of my cis female peers seem to experience, yet i don't exactly feel explicitly left out. this outsider experience is voluntary in a lot of ways because i know this experience just isnt exactly for me. womanhood as i know it is very informed by heterosexual dynamics and compulsory femininity and that just isn't my vibe at all!

#personal #gender

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mostlymaudlin · 3 years

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writer tag game wooooo

thanks @palimpsessed and @captain-aralias for the tags!!

a few tags.. @urban-sith @snowybank @tea-brigade @seducing-a-vampire @xivz @facewithoutheart @unseelieseelie @motherscarf @stillmadaboutpetra but as always i love reading these so lie and say i tagged u if u wanna do it!!

How many works do you have on AO3? 17, 15 of which are for simon snow series What’s your total AO3 word count? 97,953 How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? ive published for three! simon snow, check please, and one direction. ive also written some steve/bucky that never went anywhere. What are your top five fics by kudos? In black ink my love may still shine bright Want to mark you up (e-rated part two to "In black ink.."!) Nothing Equals the Splendor a bully and a snob and a complete arsehole Light Me Up

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to but if too many come in at a time i get overwhelmed haha. that's only happened a few times tho, toward the end of my multi-chap when people were subscribed and ready. i love replying to comments bc i write a lot more than i post — if something makes it to ao3, that means i really like the story! and if people want to talk to me about it, that's like.. the best thing ever.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i was gonna be like "oh i always give them a happy ending" but then ao3 told me — that's not true! Yellow was a lil deleted scene thing i did abt simon buying his yellow breakup stationery, so obviously the ending is big owie. and my humdrum fic, Hunger of the Shadow... i mean its a humdrum fic lol. idk which is angstier, its different types i guess.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i got a comment that bothered me once that was like sort of judgmental abt a bit of my plot, and they were like "you should have done __ instead." and i was like ummmmmm... but not HATE i suppose.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i wrote smut on my own once (Want to mark you up). i mostly wrote this one to capitalize on the horny momentum of In black ink my love may still shine bright, in which simon and baz go out to a bar, etc. also i wanted to make a joke about lamb hahahah.

then i did a few smut pieces with some pals via Frantic Fanfic. One of them, A for Effort, is actually technically my second most-kudos-ed fic, but it didn't feel right to claim it because Kay (xivz) did the heavy lifting on that one!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Just the Frantic Fanfic stuff!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

i wanna say snowbaz because im elbow-deep in it right now, but i don't know! i've definitely written most for snowbaz, but i think that's just because i'm more confident of a writer now than i was in my other fandoms. i think ill always be a slut for a certain 1d ship that really embarrasses me but i like..... can't get over it lmfao. also steve/bucky comes back to haunt me quite often

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

i have a lot of wips that im determined to do, but it might be a while. i have one wip that is heavily rooted in a new england summer setting that i recently moved to my Graveyard folder on google drive because i was like... i don't think i can write this as well now that summer's over. the first sentence in that doc (which is entirely scrambled outline) is "this fic should smell like sunscreen." i will probably revisit next summer if im still around because im super invested in it. it's a childhood friends>rivals>friends>lovers with copious new englandisms, ghost hunting, simpard, explorations of guilt that are like super catholic (again: hello new england), queer identity stuff. i think shepard is a trans dude in that one too which was fun. idk!! this answer got long. it makes me more certain i will return to it lol.

What are your writing strengths?

hmmm probably like - earnest descriptions of emotion? like, if the character is going through something, im going to take you through allll the stages. i personally think im funny, which is what matters to me as my own reader lmfao. and i think i like to break them out of the usual settings and plotlines! i really like setting as a literary tool, thinking abt the obstacles that come wherever your characters are. im in the ideas stage of a road trip fic and i think that's going to be a really good way for me to flex there.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes dialogue, sometimes not. Elaborate plots that can't be tied to character development. I've said this before, but I find my writing to be quite plain in terms of syntax/word choice/etc... this is usually fine but sometimes my writing can get very like "action, thought, action, though, action, dialogue." idk. i dont know that i have a word for this, am open to suggestions.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

i can only write in english!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

one direction lol

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

pshhhhh....... i like really love everything ive published for the simon snow series so idk. im most emotionally invested in my multichap, Nothing Equals the Splendor. But also i had the most fun writing both Jump Up, Chosen One! (where they get stuck in a mario game lmfao) and Light Me Up (my stoner fic). theyre all my favorites for different reasons lmfao.

if you read this whole thing i love u. i put the read more cut in at the top and then i was like 'i can wax on as long as i want now" hahaha. i love talking abt writing and idc if it makes me self-absorbed i love my fics 😂

#my writing

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

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from an anon, about parents and school

(it's just long, that's why it's under a break XD)

here's my proposition: make parents understand that not every child should conform to whatever traditional career paths that exist. as an asian, i could feel the pressure to take science like a fucking boulder on my body. i have to rant a bit.

i am the younger sibling, my brother is two years elder to me. i was never instilled any curiosity in anything science related, i was kinda left all by myself lol. my brother tho, maybe because he was older or because he was a guy (yeah LMFAO), was encouraged AND involved in a LOT of coding, mechanix (its a construct-ur-own-stuff thing).

i guess i never really noticed until i was leaving middle school, that i was not as smart as him, and would probably never be. but i had other strengths he didnt have. i love writing, im pretty good at it. i am analytical and subejctive, i like thinking and making conclusions about things. i mean i guess i've figured out what i could be better at, right? but the problem?

its that my parents dont see it. its as if they dont know me or they DO know me and are just forcing the things they need onto me. it feels selfish of them to completely forgo my actual strengths. like YES OK i UNDERSTAND i can never be as smart as my brother, but u dont have to pretend like i can. because pretending that i can achieve whatever he has, is just going to affect YOU. because i have accepted long ago that some things arent for me.

they think i dont want to put effort into anything i do. that im lazy and want the easy way out. god, every time they say this i want to honestly show them that its the things IM interested in, where i put in the work. its so belittling.

ive written articles abt bts, their music, about how carl jungs theory of archetypes and i occasionally ask a lot of questions about the world to you (hi lol). i just dont get why they want me to waste energy on something im clearly uninterested in.

short answer, point to BTS and say, "They're Asian, they make tons of money. Leave me alone."

just kidding XD

If I'm being serious, I don't think they will change their mind. They will continue to force their ideals onto you, because they believe in certain career paths had assured success and that is what they are after. They either want you to make a certain amount of money, have a certain status in life, or simply know that you can obtain a stable job. To be honest, these are not really traditional career paths at all if you think about it. Becoming a doctor takes many, many years and it is hard ass work. Parents just make it seem as if these are the only jobs available to you, even if you know it's not true.

Men vs women in Asian countries, well, I feel everyone knows this, but many Asian parents born in their respective countries put more effort into their sons than daughters. Firstborn son? He probably walks on water to them XD

I understand what you mean when you say your parents do not understand. This might sound egotistical (it does now that I'm writing it, I am very sorry) but I was the one in my family who got the best grades. None of my siblings got better grades than me (basically I had a 4.0 from middle school to university), and do you think with all that I would be immune?

Nope.

I am good at the sciences and I am good at the humanities as well. I had an interest in reading, writing, and drawing. Reading fiction, I could pass it off to educate myself. Writing? I could pass it off as something for school. But drawing?

Woo, boy.

This was a constant fight. I do not back down (a rebel, wcyd) and I drew and it would get ripped apart. I drew and it would get torn up and thrown away. I drew and and would be beaten, yelled at, constantly belittled for my interest in it even though I was good at the sciences and math. To my mom (my dad doesn't count, he had zero interest in parenting) - if she did not think it was going to make money in the future, it was useless. If I could not spin it into profit, I should not be doing it (very fun childhood I had, yes). The most ironic thing is, after I became an adult, she suggested I start drawing again and sell it to make money.

Hello?

You literally forced me to stop drawing because you constantly connected it with negativity???

(not now, I have since stopped talking to her and started drawing again and it is purely for myself, not to show anyone else, I do not even post it on social media or show anyone irl)

Not saying your parents will act like mine, btw, only sharing my experience.

The idea that you'll never be as smart as your brother? That's bullshit lol. That's like saying intelligence is only valuable if it's science or math, which, as you know, is not true. You are you. He is himself. It is not you cannot do those things. It is that those things are not what you want to focus on. You have a limited amount of time in this life and you have chosen the things you want to delve into and explore.

You don't have to be good at everything. Everything is just not good enough for you.

I am of the mindset that you should try and learn everything you can about this world. I love learning, personally. I think knowing everything I know, from the humanities to the sciences, enriches my life and gives me a broader perspective.

But I totally understand how you feel, because being pushed into something makes you end up hating it. Parents push their kids to learn this or that and kids end up resenting schoolwork because it doesn't feel like something they wanna do anymore. It's just adults yapping in their ears and it feels pointless. Grades aren't everything. You think anyone cares that I aced Physics with Calculus I and II as an adult? LMAO, no one gives a shit. You passed, good enough XD

Here's how I think you should treat school. It's not the content that matters. It's you understanding how you learn each subject. Every subject is different and how you learn them is different. It is not because you are bad at the subject, it is because you haven't figured out the best learning style for you. Teachers have to teach a mass of students and, yes, I understand this seems very tedious to have to "teach yourself".

The skill in learning to learn becomes so, so valuable as an adult. It is how you maintain interest in things, how you develop new interests, and how will come to find meaning (in whatever you want to focus on finding meaning for). I'm not saying that you will be able to find your perfect learning style in every subject, but I am encouraging you to simply see it in that light.

And, you might find certain things to be not that important to you, in which case, just pass the class, it's totally fine if it's not going to help you for the career path you're going for XD Nobody asks me about the themes of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" (tbh, a pair of overdramatic loons) or how I feel about Sigmund Freud (actually a twat, but that's neither here nor there).

Let them talk. That one that walks your path is you. Focus on what you want to focus on. They are set in their ways and they way to show them there are different paths is to walk them.

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dirt-grub · 2 years

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my sibling said i live like charlie because my room doesn't get heating, i sleep in a sleeping bag,i never vacuum (there's popcorn and catnip on the floor ..) and i have many random cardboard boxes in one corner,. personally i think it all helps me thrive. i am curious to hear about your 80% charlieness please talk about it as much as you'd like ,

also i took the charactour thing last year and checked it again and it said i am most like kevin from we need to talk about kevin. i've never seen that but the wikipedia page tells me enough about it..

YEAH im kind of a hot mess wreck especially right now, my room is disgustang

somehow it keeps getting messier and shit keeps appearing on the floor but at the same time most of my surfaces are still covered in dust TTWTT rn ive got wires everywhere from all the hacking nonsense ive been trying to do with a wii i was given for free bc it was so goddamn broken it was almost unbelievable (i fixed it after much trial and error and an incident with a soldering iron), the floor is covered in gift bags that i reused from xmas and put various other things in, my rug is just OOF its a dog hair/crumbs magnet and i hate it, theres probably needles in there too bc i started a spontaneous sewing project two days ago (a skirt bc gender doesnt equal presentation<3)

there's loose unlabeled cds everywhere bc i was looking for one that i put music on and didn't label right (long story), my hrt paperwork is EVERYWHERE, the box of all the jewlery ive made/collected is all tangeled, clothes all over that i need to wash, i keep tripping over my backpack that has four cans of warm cider stashed in it, and this is just where i SLEEP. its a very small room so when theres shit on the floor my god does it take up space X( usually i spend time in the concrete basement with no windows and all my garbage in it, garbage collecting being one of my other charlie-isms lol. i have three tvs, all three of which i just like, claimed; two of them are crtvs from the early 90's and one was a really nice sorta flat one i found on the side of the road and turned out to work! just had to clean all the dirt off. coardboard boxes are EVERYWHERE bc i collect so much shit and they need to go somewhere and boxes are useful! ive got pretty glass bottles, seashells from the river (its an estuary), fossils i found upstate, tooth i got from a dead deer, like, you name it. i literally love things and stuff and i have no qualms about picking shit up off the side of the road. i mean i once went through an actual garbage can bc i saw someone dumped like a fuck ton of scratch off tickets in there and like what if one of them was a winner right????

id show off my dirtgrub tetanus bracelet but its in an art show rn lmfao, thats how i excuse all the Junk im like no its art<3

#connor talks #theres so much more lmao but this post was getting long XD #i also have catnip everywhere! despite uh. not having a cat #i used to grow it! i probably still do honestly every winter the plant is killed but it comes back #i dont sleep in a sleeping bag but honestly that kinda sounds rad im always cold as fuck #ive been rocking the iconic charlie long johns look lately bc i found some and theyre WARM #my room technically gets eating but we never have the heat on we have like a heating stove #it doesnt reach me when my door is closed which is like always #and the basement oh my god forget it its concrete floors and walls and ceiling #my parents dont even let me shower upstairs and we NEVER have hot water and so i hate showering lately #bc im actually like convulsing by the time i get out ITS SO COLD!!!!#thats probably why im sick rn tbh that and my car is cold too #part of thats my fault i never turn the heat on i just leave my big jacket on and put fingerless gloves on #which those gloves were not always fingerless but u kno #my car is a piece of shit i love it so so so much its older than me and probably worth $20 #also fr squalor helps me thrive too!!! like obv theres a point where you gotta clean up for your health but #like rn i should reallyyyy get rid of all this dust #but like. im a messy person i just sprawl and i try to clean so fuckin often and it doesnt stick for more than a day #i should probably also throw out all the empty pill bottles ive been collecting bc my parents are gonna think things #THEYRE GOOD FOR HOLDING STUFF!!!!#answered asks #anon chats

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raquellplanningwell · 4 years

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THIS ARCANA PROLOGUE UPDATE WHOOO 🙌✨

TL:DR I loved it, it made the game even better, s/o to the creators for going back to it because I really think it makes SUCH a difference & develops the characters so beautifully, especially the three newer love interests, so many pleasant surprises throughout this play-through. Longer Verison (If you’re up to it, please enjoy!)

Okay so when I say I’ve been aching for the creators to fix up the prologue I really mean it & this was beyond satisfying, like better than I could imagine.

There’s so many effective changes & they didn’t just fix one or two things here, they went INNN. The format has changed, things that were consistent in the story before are now in line & are much stronger with this new prologue.

Listen, I’ve tried to get multiple friends to play the Arcana & more than one have stopped at the prologue because it didn’t grasp them, this, this is a huge improvement & I got so hyped playing it.

Starting off even how Asra’s introduced feels so much smoother, not just a story thrown on you. The lost memories are mentioned & Asra delicately treats the apprentice, you see how he worries & care about them. Plus with this fun option, there’s a new chance to give your character some more personality, I love it. The Trouble option was worth it 👌🏻

Truth be told I haven’t played the prologue in a while, so perhaps some details I’m re-appreciating from the previous version but I love that they went back & changed it, like that to me, shows how much they still care, & that the creators genuinely want to improve & nurture their game

Okay changes to Nadia introduction, ALSO GREAT, @ devs thank you for not just having the apprentice follow her blindly !! Like she explains the situation & lets the apprentice know exactly why she’s calling on their services right off the bat. Another detail I liked, is Nadia showing some vulnerability in this time, there’s a description of her sleepless eyes as well & I really like that! Like she’s not just the countess, she’s a person coming to you for help.

Portia’s intro is in there!! Bless!!! My girl finally being put out as a main & I JUST CAME TO THE REALIZATION THAT MEANS SHE’S STAYING YAAAAAAAYY, VERY EXCITING STUFF 🎊🍾

This is gonna a long post, if you’re still reading, thank you as well. So next is Julian’s entrance, I appreciate the options that from my knowledge stayed the same in how you react & I choose ‘negotiate’ as my own apprentice would & the details were great lol like this breakdown from the apprentice 👇 yup that sounds like the dumbass doctor alright

Another nice detail, they exchange names earlier! The apprentice states their name when they first meet & Julian is even surprised when the apprentice doesn’t know his. And!! These warnings that come from the love interests in the beginning, that’re new characters at first, they’re not so ominous! Isn’t that awesome, like they make so much more sense with the story & who the characters are & what they know.

Like this ^ right here ^^ that is phenomenal. The wording makes sense, what he’s talking about makes more sense as you get to play the game, like it’s how it’s meant to be. Before I believe his warning was about how the “witch” cares about the MC but that they shouldn’t trust him & more than anything that made me feel confused about who to choose & what was true, even in a prologue so this change is very welcomed.

The portion with the voice in the dream & being able to pick whether to follow it or not, super glad about that like those feel like meaningful choices & even the dream scene being added, so cool! I’m assuming as of now the voice was Lucio & I think it was really well played

Muriel’s CG, I really yelled. when I say it’s incredible, like CRAZY GOOD, I mean it. The lighting, the mood, even the angle because yes he will likely be towering over the apprentice & that’s a lovely thing to consider, also his expression is so good & yes! No strange warning that sounds out of character to his route, it starts off with “...” as it should, the most Muriel line.

Even the way it’s described matches up so well lol like yes you can see you’re definitely engulfed in his shadow, he looks huge. Plus “and I look up… and up.. and up” is very funny. Again the fact that his first lines are “…” that’s perfect. I feel like the Grinch when he’s auditioning Max for Rudolph, he says nothing & throws off the nose & the Grinch goes “BRILLIANT”, that’s me. Like even Muriel stumbling back & having trouble saying anything is great. It’s how he is throughout the story, & especially in his own route, he has trouble talking to the apprentice. I’m uwuing at the stuttering too, baby, just a glimpse into what he’s gonna be like in his route & that’s a good intro in its own! 👏 This is like world’s improvement. Also if you’re still with me bless, thank you for being here & congratulations. I’m thinking of breaking this down in parts as I didn’t expect it to go so long but here we are & enjoying each minute of it.

*taps microphone* The use of the word, “bamboozled” thank you for your time.

I can’t believe this is now in the prologue, I am giddy

OKAY! Into the market we go, & Portia is introduced! She introduces herself! We don’t just accidentally bump into her! & she’s with the baker! Very cool! OKAYYYYY, lol mind you I’m typing my reaction as I play, & Portia already showing her interest in the MC being a magician like she does throughout her route, noice. She’s so cute, & you get to ask about herself right off the bat, really enjoying these changes, they add so much to the characters. It might just be me but there’s more sound effects too? The cards shuffling, the gate opening. I also really like that the charm is mentioned again. Like feels more tangible than how it was before, I wasn’t even sure we had hung onto it before & now it feels like a personal item that can actually protect the apprentice & connect them to something more.

Next Chapter, really liking how clear things are right off the bat. In the old prologue, I remember being unsure about Nadia’s relationship to Lucio, but here it seems quite apparent they don’t share the same tastes, & the apprentice gets a moment to take it all in. THE VOICEEEE, Oh that’s an awesome addition. Also @ devs thank you for mentioning some compensation for the apprentice as well. Playing the game, it’s clear Nadia takes good care of them but yeah in the beginning it was very much like, ‘why am I doing this again other than you being Countess and asking me personally’, I appreciate it. And Devorak isn’t just described as the dude who confesses, he’s introduced as the apprentice’s first lead in this investigating, awesome!! I don’t recall this from the previous prologue but we’re actually discussing more of the murder mystery of this, I definitely think this is one of the Arcana’s strong points & I’m glad they’ve added to it. The story & world building potential for this game extends infinitely. The way that the dinner with Nadia has been built upon & improved, it feels meaningful. It makes me like her even more as character, like she’s not just a political power, she’s a person trying to figure this all out, do what’s best for her people & bring them together, as well she makes the goals in this investigation very clear.

Portiaaaaa, I like that you get the chance to ask her more & she shows you more, the CG is so nice & suits her so well!! & the situation is a perfect intro to what to expect while in the palace, because that happens a lot, secret passages in just about every route, Lucio even mentions it himself in his own route how there’s so many about the palace grounds. But Portia telling you a ghost story in the Count’s wing is right on brand & I think it prepares you well for the first chapter of her route. I know I wasn’t expecting going straight for ghost hunting when I started her route.

There’s a ‘snoop around’, option now. I choose it & wow it’s a great time, tea & snacks with Nadia & Portia, bless. The scene is so fun & almost feels like a tale, like it feels special & you get to enjoy more of the love interests personalities. The mention of pepi is sweet. + the use of puns, 10/10 I love my girlfriend ✨

Nadia’s note, a lovely touch.

IV The Emeperor

The nightmares, woah!!!! Okay this !! this is super effective. When I first played the game I remember bring confused who the blond guy was, why his eyes were red, why he was even an option if he was the count that passed away but the nightmares & how they introduce him really feels full circle. It’s so cool getting the choice to interact in the dream as well, I keep finding myself impressed & amazed with these new additions. Hdbshsk he really said “What’s the matter? Goat got your tongue”. A legend, dedicated to his aesthetic 🙌

Asra’s talk in the fountain, mentioning Julian, much better. I remember last time it was him not speaking kindly of the doctor behind his back & now its more, ‘it is what it is, please be careful’ like ‘yes, thank you for the trust’. It looks better on their character when they’re a little more open & honest about the other, than to vaguely bad mouth each other. Perhaps I don’t remember it correctly but I think Asra used to call him Ilya right away & I know that caused some confusion for me in the beginning, so introducing like this is 👍 👍 👍

MALAK POPPING IN, LOOK AT THIS GOLD, & more notes!! Yes!!! Very cool, MC is just going out seeking the truth too, as they ought to be. Also Julian’s trust in Malak is astounding lmfao.

I will say it’s very strange to take out the letter desk option but it seems like it’s good overall. The fcking Fylnn Rider moment, they’re not subtle! “They just can’t get my nose right!” 😂 something about this new dialogue feels more intimate or real, like lol yes Julian makes such a good point the apprentice could’ve just called the guards in there, that’d make sense for them to do so but they give Julian a chance & trust him, because they want to go after the truth. I gotta say I’m surprised the CG works so well even with the new content, like they got the mood just spot on.

I’m just speeding through Julian’s convo at this point getting really into it & wow soon Portia’s there then Muriel, ‘what the fuck is going on’, I said aloud at this point. I gotta say, as much as I’m loving hearing all these details right in the beginning, it got me thinking they’re things that’re revealed later. When Julian “breaks up” with the apprentice in his route, he explains the plague, like it really has got me wondering if they’re gonna adjust the rest of the story, to not avoid repetition. THE MURIEL INTERACTION HERE IS SO GOOD, I LIVE. There’s also another paid option with Muriel, this is GREAT & for some reason they’ve been already unlocked to me. (I’m guessing it’s because I had a prologue scene with Julian & a few books acquired) but either way I’m very grateful. Muriel is the best baby & honestly this is really introducing his character so nicely, him walking you, him questioning that you didn’t run away knowing about the ghosts, works well with his route’s path, all while maintaining the “Go away!” “B-but not too close!” tsundere preciousness, GOOD SHT. lastly I love that instead of saying “don’t trust the witch” they show you that Asra hasn’t told you certain events throughout the prologue, with Muriel & Julian being surprised that he wouldn’t mention these things to you.

Pure

Okay so all done! Thoughts, I love that they went back to it, I’m curious to see if they’ll do anything else with it but the changes are very welcomed, I think they’ve improved it greatly. I will say it’d be nice to be able to maneuver through the prologue’s chapters but honestly that update was so remarkable, I’m very grateful.

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lady-plantagenet · 4 years

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What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 2: SOdden (or Sod ‘Em depending on your persuasion)

(Dont know how long I’ll be able to keep these puns up)

Catherine, like this woman, does not really fit into this era. But while this woman seems dropdead cool and at least looks the part, Catherine just...

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

The baby cloth lifting into the ceiling of the chapel had nice ‘myth of the demon countess of Anjou (ancestress of the Plantagenets)’ vibes. I am 100% that was unintentional. I get this impression by the cringiness of the baby’s screams (what’s up with those sound effects? It sounded like a zipper).

Henry gives me such softboi vibes? It’s pleasing to me because it’s making me attracted to him as a viewer, but no good in convincing me this is Henry VIII.

I think Catherine’s exposition about how she feels is pretty ok actually, it’s fitting that she would feel anger.

CHARLES’ FATHER IS NOT MAXIMILIAN, IT’S PHILIP (or rather it was). ~~ A quick wiki search guyz, a quick wiki search. Ughh

Again with the whole everyone acting like Catherine is Queen. Can they cut it out? Also while we’re at it, what was Catherine’s attendance in councils even like?

The music was nice

Post Child announcement phase:

Oof I hate to say it but I lowkey wanted de la Pole back in this mother. Mainly because it would mean more Margaret Pole and by this point I am scared her storyline will fade in prominence now that there’s no longer a Yorkist subplot (showhorned as it was, it was the crowning glory of last season tied with Arthur x Catherine).

More x Maggie Pole and all of it over Seneca and learning :’). I already know this will be the best part of the episode.

‘We certainly know stoicism in our family’ ~ I guess she’s referring to Reggie? Because our boi Clarence was no poster boy for stoicism. Though could she be making an ironic reference to her father~?

Edmund de la Pole Debacle:

Well this convo at least passed the bechdel test.

Maggie and Edmund’s interactions here are touching. I know this plotline was rushed but I think it was just right to bring us back here for 5 min as a mournful throwback to the bygone era to which Maggie Pope belongs to and now continues to do so alone. It is emotionless and you can just feel how the York cause was hanging on by a tired old threat by that point.

Maggie Pole is becoming matronly now and I like this transition.

What bothers me about a lot of fans of Margaret Pole is that what they don’t realise is that she wasn’t all like ‘I want nothing to do with my family I’ll stay low and obscure’. While far more cautious than the likes of her ancestors, she did engage in land disputes with Henry VIII and was an outspoken supporter of Catherine and Catholic. Having her be a woman woth dubious loyalties towards the Tudors is accurate.

Scotland with Meg and Jammes:

LMFAO it’s like they read my mind when I spoke of how much I laughed when Meg was like ‘Alexander Steward you pig!1!!’ last episode.

Nice reference to Aulde Alliance

I like James.

Henry and Catherine on the balcony:

Was she commander of the forces? Was Howard appointed that? Regent she was, ok.

Charlotte Hope’s new hairstyles really suit her!

‘Will you please stop cursing’ agahsjdk ahah

No offence to women (of which I am one) but this comparison between childbirth and war is just... wrong. I know Starz think they are being smart but childbirth is far less impressive than winning or surviving a battle - comparing the two diminishes the bravery of soldiers. YET ,having said that, childbirth is necessary for our society whereas war is almost always futile and by comparing them, it wrongly represents violence as something inherently as natural to us as birth and continuing of civilisation. overall not a smart, respectful or accurate parrallel to make.

Meg and prep for invasion + Catherine in her weird armour:

So Margaret dreams that her husband is dead and bloody in her bed. Ughh show you neeed to get more creative. But I did like the whole ‘dreams are how our ancestors talk to us’ line from Angus Douglas.

Re: Meg in her beret... Why is Meg dressed like me going to the London shops in October? Digging the aesthetic but not sure about the accuracy.

Rich of Catherine to bring up Edmund.

Why is Ursula Pole crying??? What is all this to her really?

Did Howard just call the guard... sonny?? Is this some WW2 crossover?

Catherine - James and the tent parlay:

Did Catherine just insult Meg’s intelligence??

Also lmao I’m going to miss James.

Re: Howard saying ‘I’m not going to get insulted by a man wearing a dress’ .. UMMM Starz, you do know that just thirty years ago men were prancing about in dresses and leggings (essentially). From around the middle of the 14th century to the beggining of 16th century (if not earlier), Englishmen were also essentially prancing about in ‘skirts’.

Am I getting a weird cooperation-partnership vibe between Meg and James?

The Battle:

Charlotte Hope looks so good with the helmet, she’d really suit an english hood! Such a shame they won’t give her one!

Ewwww he’s eating mud, why?

Just standard battle scene. They are all the same to me no matter which movie.

Aftermath:

Jesus, I find the whole Meg crying over James IV so heartfelt ‘you arrogant bastard’ for some reason just came out so full of emotion. Can someone please explain why the hell I ship them more than Henry x Catherine?? Like how ??

Awwww Linna is sooooo adorable ughhh. Also this whole Catherine going into armour among all the women crooning over the children gives this adorable sense of Catherine boyish and bloodying herself out to protect their peace, idk. All I have to say is that these series is less eager to pitt women against each other than the previous. I think that’s a step forwards.

Also, good to see Catherine being modest about her victory so Henry can save face. Finally starting to seem like the real Catherine.

‘Go on you dog’ arghh ahah he sounds like some public school rugby lad egging his mate on.

Re: Wolsey cock-blocker; the real Catherine would know it was uncatholic to have sex when you were pregnant. Also Catherine is not technically speaking in confinement if she’s wandering about.

It’s nice to see Catherine sticking up for Howard, she at least learned to respect him during the battle.

I foresee Oviedo having enough of this Christian stuff and wanting to return to the berber domains (I suppose Spain is out of the question)

Knighting Ceremony:

Apparently Margaret Pole herself was made Countess of Salisbury during this same ceremony... right? @houseofclarence

Also Maggie Pole being like: “being a rebel is in my blood, or so they tell me”... gahhh what’s with these shows and the Clarence erasure? Can’t they make one bloody reference to her dad or grandad Warwick? Ugh. Especially with lines like this. Actually? You know what? Ignore my previous comment about the stoic remark and it being an ironic reference to Clarence. I put such subtlety above this show’s writers.

Catherine has a habit of going to the coldest places possible to lose her children...

Haha @ Henry asking Bessie Blount (of all people) where Catherine is.

Conclusion:

6/10

What I’m happiest about is that Flodden got dealt with in one episode because warrior xena Catherine is not what interests me most about this show. Having said that, it was a true shame that James IV died because his were some of the best scenes. This whole show is starting to feel so historical fantasy-ish because the aesthetics are so confused. Granted it’s still pretty (not eyesore like Reign) but it doesn’t penetrate.

I am as always invested in the Poles (and More) but am also starting to get attached to Princess Mary whose actress exudes plenty of charm. This show remains confused with its feminist message because while it shows women being proactive there is so much emphasis on babies that what remains with the mind after watching is this womanish birthdrama, as opposed to a show about struggles which affect both genders.

You might tut at me and say I’m being ridiculous and that it is historically accurate to put so much emphasis on women’s babies and I say that’s swell. I would happily watch a show where that element is strong (most pre 1995 historical dramas are like that with traditionally feminine characters and I gulp them up like sustenance), but if a show promises feminism and women-men being partners I want it to deliver that properly. As I said in my previous post, why do we keep trying to make women engage in acts like war as if such an abhorrent act is the only way to take them seriously? I await the day where cunning, rationality and cool-headedness will be the traits portrayed as feminist ones.

There is nothing else to really comment on... the only potentially deeper message in this is the gender discourse. I am unsure about the accuracy so I can’t speak of the historical value of the interpretation. But what I will say is that though I remain excited for each new episode... I’m just not as invested as I was in TWQ (rewatch every year dont @ me) or TWP despite their many flaws. Some characters pull me in eg Maggie Pole (Carmichael is a bae), Thomas More etc but not the whole cast like TWQ. Anyway... would be interesting to see if anything happens with Lina and Oviedo tommorow as their storyline is conspicuously slow.

#the spanish princess #the spanish princess 2 #fool if you thought I wouldn't jump on the whole 'being a rebel is in my blood' opportunity to bring up Clarence #I was delighted last time when people left comments and stuff #rofl #so yeah #Please please I love discussions and do not think twice before sending me an ask or commenting !#lady plantagenet's series reviews #the dialogue remains a bit trite #the sugared grape counterpart for this episode was edmund's death and the whole ironic reference to Senenca and stoicism #not because the dialogue around edmund's death was particularly poignant but how conspicuously quiet and swift the whole affair was as #...as compared to previous york pretender plotlines left a mournful note #basically I feel like I keep focusing on stuff the show doesn't want me to focus on #and am projecting therefore

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dispatched-a · 3 years

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——— BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME! ♡ lou

PRONOUNS! ♡ he / they

ZODIAC SIGN! ♡ virgo moon, taurus moon, leo rising.

TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡ single 😼

——— THREE FACTS! ♡

1! ♡ i am SUPER into making lists. i don’t know if it’s because i’m autistic, have ADHD, or because i’m a virgo – probably all three? – but i literally love making lists and spreadsheets. i also love organizing and sorting stuff. i will find a reason to make a list for literally just about anything. right now, i’m working on tackling this list of the shows i want to watch.

2! ♡ i can make my tongue form into a clover (three-sided) which is probably gross and i won’t embed a picture here, but showing it off has gotten me past at least 2 different forms of hazing so i feel like it’s worth mentioning at the very least.

3! ♡ most of you likely know that one of my special interests is history, specifically working class interpretations/tellings of history. i’m always looking to learn and educate myself more, but i can spew off a bunch of obscure facts about most points of american history which is... a lot. i spent 3 years in uni for history and almost got my certificate in queer studies before i dropped out and i might change my course of study now that i’m back in uni, but i now consequently own an obscene amount of books on imperial america. i may not shut up if asked about post/911 history or anything having to do with the bush presidency, or the war in vietnam/cambodia/laos. i’m sorry to anyone whose dm’s ive unleashed in before, lmfao. because of all of this, i feel like i enjoy writing essays and am better at academic writing than prose, which gives me a complex about my prose being too dry and not poetic enough so, fun times.

——— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED! ♡ at the moment, i use tumblr and discord, and i sparsely use dreamwidth. before, i’ve used facebook and livejournal, and occasionally youtube, which is how i got into roleplay about 10 years ago.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER! ♡ i’ve always gravitated toward writing men and i was not self-aware enough to know my discomfort in writing women has always had to do with projecting my personal Butch Gender Envy and my own discomfort with societal notions of womanhood – however, now i can write any gender. at this point, i tend to be drawn toward nb/trans muses.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡ i don’t HATE any faces i guess, but i dislike fc’s that are super popular or obviously the very problematic ones. the rpc tends to cycle through a favorite face 1-2 times a year. like semi-related, i guess, but: never forget the 2016-2017 e/iza g/onzales fixation, and the amber heard fixation that i feel like only recently ended but began circa 2012. and yes, ive been on this website for WAY too long.

MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡ i’m fine with interacting with either! for myself, i have frank and a multi-muse, which is how i tend to operate. i cannot operate more than 1-2 blogs at once, especially single muse blogs.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: i love fluff! but it’s not all i enjoy. a big issue i’ve had is constantly perpetuating slice-of-life content with little plot. i love slice-of-life and fluff a whole lot but i need plot and dynamic building to back it up (more so dynamics, as i care more about character relationships than plot, usually, but point stil applies). i feel like a lot of people misconceive frank to be an overly soft, fluffy person – which frank definitely can be, but i’m kind of uncomfortable with the way he’s constantly written in fanfic to be a mindlessly loyal himbo (namely to karen bc k.astle fans are Like That) and the way his old-fashioned (and subsequently hypermasculine and condescending lmfao) nature is constantly lauded instead of questioned. he's not a great person lmao. also, i feel like this plays into people writing and portraying frank as straight in so much of the fic i read, which i dislike.

ANGST: i LOVE angst, but i don’t like trauma/torture porn. i like angst when it also props up plot and dynamics, but trauma porn? hate it. i feel like an issue that i have with angsty plots is that it tends to occasionally turn into a dynamic revolving my muse taking care of another person’s, or vice-versa (which ive ... tried to work, but still, i can be guilty of it!). i also specifically fucking hate (usually very graphic) immediate post-sexual assault/rape plots that have no basis in canon, which is such a specific thing to rip on but i’ve seen it more than once lmao and it makes me so uncomfortable. please stop torturing your muses for no reason. i feel like i’ve worked on doing that myself, and yes i am aware that the punisher is the hugest example of an edgelord, but uh.... please, i’m begging.

SMUT: ii feel like i enjoy writing smut but not just for smut’s sake. not too into pwp, but sometimes i can be. like what i’ve said about fluff and angst, it just depends!

PLOT / MEMES! ♡ i LOVE both. i feel like memes at this point work better than starters for me. i also enjoy plotting a lot, which for me includes going back and forth about our muses, sending quotes/pictures/etc as inspo, etc. i enjoy that a lot about writing and it’s a huge reason why i love roleplaying - i just love collaborative storytelling. i have a very bad habit of dropping dm’s because my executive dysfunction is Bad and also i can get easily overwhelmed if too many people talk to me but just know i love both.

tagged by : @vylingas thank you ♡ tagging : @transforms, @bulletballet, @hammurabicomplex, @streetknown, @errorware, anyone who wants to do it!

#OUT.#this fun little post really did just turn into a long rambly post full of complaining huh #... anyways

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beelziebabie · 4 years

Text

Title: Alphabet Headcanons with Beelzebub

Time Started: 4:25 AM

Time Finished: 5:30 AM

SFW or NSFW?: SFW

Reader insert?: Yes

SFW:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Beelzebub has a strange way of showing you affection. He’ll shower you in snacks and different foods until you cant eat anymore, then wait until you can eat to feed you to the brim again. He’s trying his best ok

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You knew each other from your arrival in Devildom, but your friendship really blossomed when you had to move in with him temporarily. He opened up to you and you respected him a lot for that, especially since you are just a human, no one special. Soon, even after you got your room back, you started hanging out in his room again just to talk with him.

So many movie nights. Only because you want to watch a lot of movies and he just wants popcorn. Secret tips to the kitchen at night, going to Hell’a Kitchen during lunch, all that jazz. He’s obviously a pretty good cook, so if you’re lacking in that department he will surely give you some pointers.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Is pretty open to cuddles but fairly shy about it. Even if he wants a short hug, he’ll give you hand a light squeeze to get your attention, then stare at you with puppy dog eyes and its hard to say no to that. His favorite way to cuddle you is to envelop you in his arms, most of the time picking you up. When spooning, he likes being the big spoon because it makes him feel like he’s protecting you the way he couldn’t for “others.”

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Like I said before. Definitely good at cooking. Give him any recipe and he’ll be able to make it better than what you’d expect. He’s decent at cleaning, but most of the time when he cleans up after himself he’ll just get hungry again from thinking about how the mess was made. He’ll go back to eating right when he’s halfway done cleaning. The cycle continues.

And yes, he does want to get settled down, but not yet. He isn’t ready. He’s already pretty mature but he has a lot of anxiety of not being able to protect the little one good enough. He doesn’t want a repeat of what happened.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Gently but also very straightforward at the same time. Right at the end of the day, because he would want to ruin their mood for the entire day. He’s give them a huge hug first (depending on the reason why he’s breaking up with them) then tell it to them straight up. He’d explain why straight after, apologize, then leave to give them some time to think.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Very loyal. Super super loyal and would do anything for his partner’s sake. Again, he doesn’t want to get married right at the moment, but when he’s older and stronger he’d definitely consider it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

GENTLE GIANT. Snacks and cuddles always available if you ever need it, just say the word. The average demon is taller than the average human by a long shot, and on top of that Beelzebub is taller than your average demon. He’d carry you wherever you’d want to go, always at your beckon call.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Loves hugs so much. Ive said this a lot before but he really, REALLY likes the feeling of being able to shield you from anything that could potentially harm you. He doesn’t initiate the hugs often. His hugs are very warm and cozy, like sitting in front of a fireplace. But sometimes hug sessions get interrupted from his grumbling belly lol

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Not very fast. He’s scared to get attached too quickly and end up losing you. So he’d wait until it was unbearable to wait any longer. Then he’d probably say it on accident and will be so flustered about it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Not the jealous type! But when he does get jealous its obvious. He’ll eat a little bit less than usual, he’ll look a bit angrier, and it’ll be easier to tick him off.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Collarbone and neck kisses when he’s feeling Intimate, Forehead and cheek kisses for something cuter. Especially likes forehead kisses because it reminds him of his height different between you two. When you share your first kiss, he’ll of course taste like food. But past that, he tastes like peppermint and cherry, quite an addicting flavor if you ask me. He probably keeps multiple packs of gum on him just to make sure his breath is fresh.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

So so protective. Since theyre young, naive, and weak, he’d use that as even more of a reason to protect them from literally anything. Plastic fork? Dangerous. Doll? Dangerous. String? DEFINITELY dangerous.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

When he wakes up he wastes no time in getting ready. If anything he rushes, a lot. Just to get downstairs and eat. But when he isnt rushing, he’d actually lay in his bed for a good 10 minutes before actually getting up. His mornings are kind of slow, when he isnt hingry that is.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Cuddles all through the night. He’ll only let you go if its an absolute emergency. If not, don’t expect to be getting up until his next snack break.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

I said this earlier but he started opening up to you when you had to move in with him. He says everything slowly, because thinking back on those times hurts him a lot. You’ll definitely need to hold him through it, even if its just holding his hand.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Not very easily. He’s also very east to please, too. Just don’t eat his food and everything is good.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

All depends on his relationship with you. When youre starting off as friends, he wont pay any mind to the little things you do. But as your relationship progresses he starts to notice them and honestly he gets a bit flustered by it.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time you cook something for him. It wouldn’t taste the same as anything else he has ever eaten before. He would love it so much that he would beg you to make him food more often.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Ive already covered this and its kinda nnoying now lmao

And no, he wouldn’t want to be protected. He believes that he is strong enough to protect himself and he doesn’t want to burden anyone.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Tbh not much for dates and gifts and stuff like that. For anniversaries however, he’ll take you out on a date to one of his favorite restaurants, or cook a huge meal for both you and him. He’d eat most of it though.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He eats a lot. And he eats anything that fits his appetite, even if its not actual food. And sometimes when you’re together his hunger will pop up again and he’ll need to eat something before continuing. You don’t blame him, but he feels a bit bad about it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not very concerned at all. He’ll occasionally dress up but only if he’s being told to. Other than that, no, he doesn’t really care much about his looks. He just wants to look presentable enough to go out.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Also depends on your relationship with him. If you’re just a friend who he occasionally talks to, then no, he wouldn’t care much about you. But anything past that he would feel like you are becoming more and more part of him.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

idk lmfao

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In general, he wouldn’t like it if you were sneaky when it comes to food. Please don’t ever steal his food. I’m begging you.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Cant sleep without holding something. Whether it be a pillow or a person, he needs to hold something while going to sleep. When you came into his life he slowly eased that onto you, starting with just sitting on the bed with you as you slept, then he would lay down with you and drape his arm across you, then after that he’d hold you just like a child would to a teddy bear.

NSFW version coming right after this!

(sorry if theres spelling mistakes lmfao im so tired sorry)

#obey me #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub #beelzebub obey me #obey me shall we date #reader insert #beelzebub x reader #sfw headcanons #obey me headcanons #lmfao why did this take me so long.#i should be sleeping #beelzebub headcanons #alphabet headcanons #sfw alphabet headcanons #sfw alphabet

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