I’m once again going to talk about the most insane Disney Channel Original Movie franchise
Hello, and welcome to me screaming about the latest movie in the most bizarre Disney Channel Original Movie franchise ever created, ZOMBIES 3. I’m a grown adult woman, and yet I can’t stop myself from going feral every time they announce a new one of these movies. Every time I think the last one was a fever dream, they make a new one that’s even more colorful and 10x crazier.
Here are my thoughts with absolutely zero context:
Zed wants to be the first zombie to go to college when his best friend is a literal genius who works for a tech company who any real college would be begging to accept...what the fuck is this movie?
Not only is their school football team pro monsters, but they’re also co-ed!
I’m calling it now, the town’s “most precious thing” is going to be Addison.
DON’T MAKE THE WEREWOLF GUY LIKE ELIZA, SHE’S CLEARLY A LESBIAN!
We got 10 minutes into the movie before getting a song??!
THIS MOVIE THAT RELIES ON SO MANY CHARACTERS WEARING WIGS HAS ABSOLUTELY NO BUDGET FOR GOOD WIGS!
I love that no adult in any DCOM knows how to act.
Is one of the aliens non-binary?
Is the alien mothership voiced by RuPaul?
EJ FROM HSMTMTS IS IN THIS MOVIE!? AND HE’S BASICALLY THE SAME CHARACTER?! And Meg Donnelly is going to be in the new season that airs on the 27th...this is begging for a crossover or a meta joke. Something, I’m begging you people!
Okay for real though, No Doubt About It is a bop.
There is a rival school whose mascot is an Eel named Eely and they have a...friendship...rivalry...romance(?) with the Seabrook shrimp?!
Love that they imply that a teenage boy, (Jacey?), has had multiple nose jobs. Also the Aceys are definitely in a polyamorous relationship.
They named the frozen yogurt place “Coach’s Froyo” 😆😆😆
I see we’re continuing the tradition of Addison punching Zed in the face whenever he surprises her.
I appreciate that we’re not dicking around and drawing out the realization that Addison is part alien. We all knew she was going to be after the second movie’s teaser.
I love that we get a song about aliens invading and a song about interviewing for college in the same movie.
We’ve gotten about 70% less Bucky, and Idk how to feel about that. Also his choice in hats has convinced me that he would be the ideal boyfriend for Ryan from High School Musical.
Why do the judges for this high school cheer off seem so awkwardly horny? Also do they know the aliens are actual aliens...or do they just think that’s their team name? I’m assuming they know...in which case, they seem pretty chill about it.
How does Seabrook afford to have different cheerleading outfits for every competition?
Does this movie have a different choreographer? The cheerleading sequences have so much less energy than the first movie’s. I know the song Addison’s singing has a slower tempo...but the moves are so bland. I guess this is what happens when Bucky isn’t the team captain.
If y’all thought Addison’s white hair wig was bad...get ready for her BLUE HAIR WIG.
Oh wow, Addison is the town’s “most precious thing” who would have guessed?
Addison’s dad is so chill with his wife and daughter being descended from aliens XD These adults went from being extremely racist/species-ist to just shrugging and accepting an alien invasion.
The werewolves in this movie can barely enunciate while wearing their fangs!
I literally don’t care about any of this alien finding utopia bullshit, I just want to see Zed and Addison in college together.
It’s not a ZOMBIES movie without a reprise of Someday.
Addison’s best friend sings literally one solo line in this movie and it’s enough to make me want a whole musical with her as the star.
Seabrook must exist in a vacuum because these aliens would be real disappointed to find out that Earth sucks as much as it does.
Werewolf leader and non-binary alien are going to be a thing!? I’m here for it!
Omg Zed and Addison singing the last song around the lightbulbs as a callback to the first movie 😭
I don’t know whether to be happy at the expectation subversion of getting aliens in this town before vampires...or sad that I don’t get to see this universe’s take on vampires.
The message of this movie is that conflict doesn’t have to be bad. Love perseveres, conflict can make us stronger if we come together to face our problems. This makes sense in a vague, idealistic way, but the conflict that the town was facing originally was essentially racism. So...I feel like they might want to rethink that one a little bit.
I also want to appreciate how non-binary alien’s (I should really remember their name by now) “feelings” for Zed were purely used for comedy and no real drama comes from this. Addison and Zed are a supportive power couple and have literally no conflict with each other throughout the entire movie, even when Addison believes she has to leave him behind.
Overall, the songs are better than the second one’s but still not as good as the first’s. And I wish we’d give up on these movies having a plot and focus on this crazy cheerleading obsessed town again.
Anyway, I want a million more of these movies. But this one went straight to Disney+ so my fever dream might end here...
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