#that i have just woken up from. it doesnt feel real even though i am trying to hold onto at least | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keefwho · 1 year

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March 17 - 2023

8:24 AM

I had a dream I got fucked super hard in high school science class. It was by someone I didn’t have a very high opinion of when I went there but I didn’t necessarily dislike him. I remember it felt awesome, I got manhandled GOOD. But after that the dream kinda sucked because I was going around trying to not look like I blew my load all over myself and didn’t have a good change of clothes. I also got locked out of my locker and the front desk lady couldn’t help me because I had an expired ID. At some point after school I went to go buy soda for myself, had some awkward interactions at Walmart, and came out with a 24 pack of diet coke by accident that I couldn’t return.

I had other dreams before this that I forgot because I got woken up at 6am. This morning I feel kinda tired still and am not looking forward to commissions or my workout but I’ll try to get it all done. Maybe I just need a real sturdy breakfast.

6:29 PM

I’ve been pretty tired the past few days and I don’t know why. Maybe it is just the slight lack of sleep but I’m not sure. I guess I’ll try extra hard to get better sleep the next few days and see if that helps. I’m not ACTUALLY afraid of this but what if it’s because of an underlying condition? I wouldn’t start to suspect that unless it doesnt get better or got worse. The leading theory is I really need to get my 8 hours and I’ve also been pushing myself pretty hard this week. Even though for 3 days this week I skipped an hour of work. I dunno.

11:52 PM

I feel kinda sad tonight but I’m gonna try no to judge myself for it. Im just gonna write it out and let it be what it is. I feel kinda lonely, largely due to my parents not being here for the next week. Even though hardly anything is fundamentally different with how I operate, it is unsettling having no one around physically. And I gotta take care of the dogs which is annoying.

I also have those classic feelings of “I’m not very good” or “Im falling behind” or “People don’t love me as much as I think they do”. Obviously all disputable claims but I am not here to dispute. Sometimes that doesn’t help. The truth is I think it’s okay to be feeling these things, I feel them for a reason. When I find the reasons I can end up changing my behavior around it. Or I can wait until I know I’ll feel better. I am becoming more and more aware of my patterns and it’s hard to keep falling into them when I see them happening. So tonight I’m defusing from those big negative thoughts but allowing myself to be aware of them and still feel bad about them. Im just trying to prevent overthinking or mental reverb so it doesn’t get so out of hand.

On a brighter note I’ve had 2 successful encounters where I basically brute forced social interaction with a stranger by asking them questions. Like they wouldn’t have much to say and I’d carry the conversation moment by moment until they opened up and started contributing themselves. Its been interesting and I’m starting to hone in on a more clear goal. My objective is to hunt for people I get along with by getting to know strangers. Sounds straightforward and obvious because it is but for awhile now I’ve been in a rut where I was failing to recognize the social potential around me. Everyone felt like an NPC and I didn’t like that. They still do but I’m working on it. But I’m realizing that the only way I can find more compatible people is to actually go around and locate them. Along the way I can learn to socialize better and have meaningful interactions with people I might not ever see again.

At the end of the day I know I always have my homies which is all that matters to me. I’m trying to expand my social circle for the sake of being healthy. I don’t want to replace anyone and I want to stop feeling guilty like I am. In my perfect world I’d want to stick with the homies I got for the rest of my life and thats it. Of course I’ll still try to make that happen, but I wish I didn’t have to make new friends. I like the ones I have.

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torivikachu · 3 years

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WARNING UNREASONABLE SHITPOST

recently, I see so much hate everywhere. magnetic storms or what but fandoms are getting rlly nasty when clashing with each other.

I think it is important to understand, that we shouldn't be bashing others, whatever we or they might like, as long as it is not offensive or reasonably immoral - and I stress, REASONABLY! some people believe homosexuality is immoral and that is just /warning! offensive language/ dumb.

as a huge fan of SNS I see a lot of anti's this days - antisakura, antiending, antinarusasu, antisasunaru, antinaruhina, antisasusaku, antiboruto and whatever. and - ugh - as much as I myself hate to admit that.... expectant drums sound.... nobody cares!

I mean - it's Kishimotos work. it's his idea, it's his story, it's his vision and - sadly - we don't get to decide whether he was wrong or not.

whether he should have ended the story with SNS,

whether he should have made female characters more prominent,

whether he should have killed Sakura off,

whether he should have made Naruto a better father,

whether he should have done many other things we all want him to do,

because - no matter how much we love the story or the characters - we are not the ones who created them, not the ones who understand them the most.

I mean, I have written myself a couple of paragraphs on how much I hate what is going on in Boruto - so yeah hi hypocrite! - but I sincerely mean well. yeah it pains me a bit to watch Boruto cuz of nostalgia I feel for Naruto series but I keep on watching, because I can't cut out that part of my heart that is responsible to crave more of Naruto universe even if I hate it.

and I am probably going to keep criticizing every damn thing - like, have you heard the Kara soundtrack? omfg I facepalmed the whole episode after that - and I wish it was better, but I am not going to bash characters for being created that way.

bc you know what? people are shitty. good people are shitty. bad people are shitty. everybody is shitty. so I guess made up characters get to be shitty too.

I mean, bashing Sakura for not having same problems as Naruto and Sasuke and thus not always getting them? - duh! remember yourself at 12, 13, 14, 15, you were a fucking whiner and you know it. and what were your problems? not getting a laptop you wanted? being punished for bad grades? getting into the fight with your parents for being unreasonable?

yeah, like you never said stuff like I wish I didn't have parents. I remember a moment after the fight I wrote a note to my parents before going to sleep that literally said ' sorry you got such a bad daughter I wish you didnt have to deal with me' and then went to sleep. in the morning - having completely forgotten it - I was woken up by my crying mom who said it was the stupidest thing on earth I knew I hurt her with it. and I regret it. it was dumb and shitty and I normaly consider myself a good person, but that was a huge shit I pulled. and I can't take it back. but I was like 10 and I didn't know better at the time.

why would I hold Sakura to higher standards then I hold myself?

then people bash her for being mean to Naruto - well, duh again - KIDS ARE MEAN. she got older and managed to see Naruto for who he was, but people still see her as a bully.

well, if we are not ready to accept peoples mistakes if they have managed to live up to them, I dont want to be a part of that 'we'

next I see a lot of bashing for Sakura being a bad mom - ugh, duh again /what is it, third time?/! how come? yeah she works a lot, since she is a single mother and all, but she genuinly cares for Sarada, even if she gets a bit overprotective at times. she doesn't have a very working relationship with Sasuke - well sure, he is never home!

then there's bashing Naruto and Sasuke for being bad fathers - you might think they'd learn to appreciate a family after being orphans.........

well where do I start. Sasuke is clinically afraid of losing loved ones after he has lost so much, so he is much better off not having many bonds and it is obvious as day. it doesn't make what he does right or good or wrong, it's just who he is. Naruto... well, lets start with the fact that he never had a role model. he had Iruka - at times, he had Jiraya for three years, but he never really had a family. he was a good dad - as we can see - when kids were little and he wasnt a hokage...

but now... he might work too hard, he might overdo it a bit at times, but if you think that he struggled his whole life to get appreciation why would you think he'd stop now? he just wants to manage everything, but he cant, and it kills him but he doesnt stop and its beautiful. yeah, its unhealthy and stupid but beautiful, because that is what the core of his character is. thats what this world has shaped him to be.

BUT THEN AGAIN THAT IS JUST MY PERCEPTION. I am pretty fucking sure Kishimoto and authors had their own reasons for it that are justified and totally okay because these are his characters who he can do whatever he wants to.

just like we people can.

and I can go on, because there is just SO MUCH HATING AND BASHING I just can't take it anymore.

I mean this whole war of sasunaru and narusasu - why would you care who fucks whom as long as both enjoy it and dynamics in bed dont influence dynamics in the relationship.

I mean... fanfics are not real. hell, even Naruto is not real, but fanfics exist entirely separately from the anime (most of them don't even get personalities right) and it is OKAY. they can exist separately to please those who are unhappy with how things go.

but please please pleeease stop bashing everything just for the sake of it. and I don't mean you are not entitled to feel and I am not telling what you should feel but there is so much more wholesomeness and awesomeness and beauty in portraying and seeing Sakura as a supportive friend and Sasuke as a helpless child inside and Naruto as a strong person who just really can't catch a break. and Boruto and Sarada as a way to make SNS canon in some twisted way.

you know? positive thinking.

but Next generation still sorta sucks.

no offense, though

😆

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pandastern · 4 years

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Gravity (Bakugou x OC)

Part 11: First Round - New Challenges

If youd like to be added to the taglist for upcoming parts please dm me :)

Masterlist II AO3

Bakugou x Vigilante!OC

Warnings: angst, explicit language, violence

Word count: 2976

Genre: enemies to lovers ; angst ; romance, slow burn

When a new student makes an entrance, Bakugou has a real bad feeling. There is something about this girl that just doesnt feel right. From the flaming hair to the calculating glint in her green eyes, everything about her just pisses him off.

Little does he know that his fate is intertwined with the person he despises so much, defining his future path in a way he would have never expected

The hardest part about preparing for the Sports Festival was the fact that none of the students had any idea about what they were up against. They could have all the time in the world to train, but with no proper idea of how to apply it, the preparation would ultimately be useless. On top of that, Aizawa had kept his word, only allowing Artemis to watch her classmates during combat training instead of taking part herself.

While it was annoying, it did allow her to observe the abilities of her classmates and plan how to handle them should she be up against them in combat. In fact, she was surprised by just how willingly they shared every aspect of their powers with her. Midoriya, in particular, was always talking to her about quirks and strategy.

“Well, since you're not able to take part in combat training, you're missing a lot of material that you can't just grasp just by watching,” he said to her one day. “So, to make things fair, you're more than welcome to look at my notes!”

Artemis was grateful, of course, and she had to admit that his infectious smile was enough to lift her spirits every time. But this whole friendship thing still felt so odd to her. And yet with every passing day, she found it less and less exhausting. Often, she caught herself wondering if this was how it was like to be a normal kid.

Her own training, however, was beyond frustrating. Her body was healing so much more slowly than she was used to thanks to the poison still circulating her veins. Her quirk control was off and her stamina so much lower than she needed to fight effectively. She pushed herself regardless, training every day by herself until her body decided that enough was enough.

“Man, I really wish we could’ve worn our hero costumes instead of our PE uniforms,” Mina complained while Class 1A changed in the waiting room of the big arena.

“But this way, everyone has a fair chance,” Ojiro piped up.

Artemis sat at one of the tables, braiding the long side of her hair to keep it out of her eyes. The festival had arrived so much more quickly than she would have liked. Pulling another energy drink out of her bag, she tried to ignore the fatigue that seemed to accompany her constantly since the USJ incident.

She’d dragged herself through worse situations. All she had to do was get through the day. Shouldn't be too hard, right? After all, she sure as hell wasn't a weakling that needed to lay down at every minor inconvenience. Failure was not an option.

The sound of a door slamming jolted her out of her thoughts.

“Everyone, get ready! The competition is about to start,” Iida exclaimed in his usual student rep voice that he used to ‘organise’ class events.

But before anyone could actually leave for the arena, Todoroki got up and stepped into Midoriya's way.

“I think it’s safe to say that from an objective standpoint, I am stronger than you,” he said in his impossibly deep voice. “And since you have All Might in your corner, I’m going to make every effort to beat you.”

Artemis stood up without thinking. Something in the way Todoroki was hovering over her new friend made alarm bells go off in her head. There was genuine contempt in his declaration.

“Hey, now. No need to get all aggressive. We’re all in the same class.” Kirishima laughed awkwardly as he stepped between Todoroki and Midoriya.

“We’re not here to be friends,” Todoroki spat, shrugging off Kirishima's hand. “This is a competition to see who’s the best!”

Something in his tone of voice made Artemis hesitate. Was it because some time ago, she could have been the ones saying those words? It wasn't that she didn't agree with Todoroki, but the way he was talking to her friend didn't sit right with her. This sudden protectiveness over Midoriya surprised even herself.

“Todoroki… I don't know what you think you’re saying when you tell me you'll beat me. Of course you're better than me. I think you’re more capable than most people here,” said Midoriya. “But I’ll still be going at it with everything I have. I won't lose.”

The determination in Midoriya's voice was something Artemis hadn’t heard before. The usually kind, shy boy had a whole different look in his eyes. He really meant what he said. Artemis felt a smirk tug at the corners of her lips. Was she proud at how Midoriya was standing his ground? Perhaps he wasn’t the only one changing, after all.

The stadium was packed to the brim. The USJ incident had made class 1A so famous that it seemed like the entire city and media had their attention only on them. The first round was declared as an obstacle course around the stadium.

That seemed easy enough, Artemis thought, though knowing UA, there would probably be several extra challenges along the way. She just needed to get through it as fast as she could while making sure to preserve her strength for later.

Bakugou ground his teeth until they hurt. His lungs were burning, his breath ragged. The stinging of his arms told him he’d pushed his quirk to a painful level, and yet still he’d lost. How the hell had he only made it to third place in the first round, while Deku of all people had come first? His head pounded with rage as he glared at Midoriya. He'd been in the lead with Todoroki, and then Deku had just blasted himself into the sky, shooting past them at a speed neither he nor Todoroki had been able to catch up with.

Bakugou straightened his spine as Midnight explained that there would be a break to prepare for the next round. He wouldn't lose again.

Forcing himself to take a calming breath, he suddenly noticed that a certain redhead hadn’t placed anywhere near the top of the ranks.

His brows furrowed. He’d been surprised that she’d even taken part in the competition, considering what had happened just two weeks earlier. But she wouldn't have competed if she hadn't healed up properly… right? Yet her ranking said otherwise.

Bakugou turned slowly and looked around. Just where was Artemis, anyway? He scanned the crowd, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. He spotted her making her way towards the arena exit where the waiting rooms and restrooms could be found.

Even from a distance, he could tell that something was off. Artemis was hunched slightly as she walked, her face pale. Before he could stop himself, he was moving towards her.

Bakugou had been walking through the empty halls of the stadium for a few minutes when he suddenly heard a terrible retching and coughing, followed by a curse in a language he didn't speak.

Why was it that this girl had no sense of self preservation? Following the noises, he turned on his heels, strode towards the women's restroom and kicked the door open.

Sure enough, there she was, looking like death. She was kneeling down over the toilet bowl and clinging to the seat with white knuckles. Anger bubbled up in Bakugou’s gut as he watched her retch again. Artemis's whole body was shaking. Even Bakugou could tell she was in pain. Fucking hell.

How many nights had he woken up sweat drenched because he could still feel her blood soaking into his clothes? The image of her head falling back, her body growing cold in his arms as he saved her life, haunted him the moment he closed his eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he growled.

Artemis flinched at the sound of his voice. Bakugou watched her wipe her mouth with trembling hands and look up at him. A myriad of emotions flickered across her face. Shock. Frustration. Rage.

“What are you doing here?” she rasped, falling back against the wall.

“What am I doing here? Seriously?” he hissed.

“This is the women's bathroom, dipshit. You really shouldn't-”

“Who gives a fuck? Look at you! If you're sick, you shouldnt be anywhere near the festival. Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Bakugou felt his body tremble, the look of defiance in her eyes fuelling the rage within him. Why wouldn't she just listen? And why was he even so worried in the first place? He shouldn’t care. He didn’t!

“I’m fine. A little overexertion never killed anyone,” Artemis huffed as she finally pulled herself to her feet. “This has nothing to do with you. Leave me alone.”

Something inside Bakugou snapped. If she was going to wreck herself beyond help, she could do that in her own time. He wasn’t about to watch her kill herself. Not when he’d worked so hard to save her.

“Enough,” he growled, marching towards her. “I will not have you carried out of this stadium in a fucking stretcher again.”

Before Artemis could say anything, Bakugou grabbed her by the wrist and threw her over his shoulder. She shrieked and struggled in his grasp, but her body was so weak, it did little to deter him. He barely felt her efforts to push him away.

“Bakugou, put me down this instant!” Artemis hissed, her fists drumming against his back.

“Quit it, squirt. I've had enough.”

Again, she tried to wriggle free, but Bakugou simply wrapped his arm tighter around her waist and picked up his pace.

“Where the fuck are you even taking me? Let me go!”

“The old lady’s office. You’re done for today.”

“Wait, what?”

Ignoring her complaints, Bakugou carried Artemis all the way to the second floor. When they got to Recovery Girl’s office, he didn't even bother knocking. He kicked the door open, strode into the room and dropped the girl onto the bed.

“What on earth is going on?” Recovery Girl asked, eyes flicking between Bakugou and the still-cursing Artemis.

“She's sick. I found her throwing up in the toilets. I need you to excuse her from the competition,” Bakugou said dryly, holding Artemis down on the bed.

“The fuck? I’m fine. Get your hands off me!”

Recovery Girl walked over and placed her hand on Artemis’s forehead. “Dark circles around the eyes, elevated heart rate, raised temperature. You've pushed yourself too hard again,” the old lady said with a scolding tone. “This is why I told Aizawa you shouldn't have participated in the festival at all. You're not properly healed yet.”

“For the hundredth time, I’m fine,” Artemis huffed, swatting away Recovery Girl’s hand. “I don’t need to be babied.”

“You are not fine. Tell me the truth, girl. Did you train after you were released from the hospital instead of taking it easy as I instructed you?” Recovery Girl’s eyes narrowed at the pouting girl.

Artemis didn’t look at her, which told everyone in the room exactly what they needed to know.

“Of course you did,” Bakugou growled with a shake of his head.

Before Artemis could utter another word, Recovery Girl got up and grabbed a handful of files. It was obvious that there would be no room to argue here.

“It was good of you to bring her, boy,” she said to Bakugou. “I’m going to go and fetch Aizawa. Can you stay with her and make sure she doesn't run off?”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. Of course he'd have to babysit again, though he’d rather stay if it minimised the chance of Artemis fucking off again.

Artemis sat on the bed, brimming with anger. Despite her exhaustion, she still had enough strength in her to glare holes into the back of Bakugou's head, though perhaps not enough to resist the urge to sucker punch him in the face.

Once the door closed behind Recovery Girl, silence fell over the room. Thoughts rushed through Artemis’s head so fast she could barely grasp them. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this angry.

The fact that Bakugou just stood there, arms crossed, made everything worse. God, she wanted to strangle him.

“You had no right to do that,” she finally spat through gritted teeth. “I don’t need your fucking help. I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“Right,” Bakugou scoffed, turning to meet her gaze. “Because lying on the ground hunched over a toilet bowl is just a normal day for you, right?”

“That’s none of your fucking business. I would have been fine! It was just-”

“No, Artemis,” Bakugou snapped. “It's not ‘just’ anything. Holy shit. You can't destroy yourself in full view of the public and expect people not to take notice. You’re in a school for heroes, woman!”

“Oh, please,” Artemis hissed. “As if you care. We both know you hate my guts. So, what’s this really about, huh? Payback for kicking your arse? Are you so scared that I could beat you again that your only option is to take me out of the competition?”

For a moment, Bakugou just stared at her as he processed the words that had just come out of her mouth. Artemis noticed the vein on his forehead pulsating dangerously, the scent of nitroglycerin filling the air.

“You…” Bakugou's voice trembled as he spoke. “You really… think that's what this is about?”

“What else would it be? I'm sick and tired of everyone trying to baby me. None of you actually care. Just leave me alone!”

Artemis rose to her feet to meet him, her eyes blazing with fury.

“I don't understand what you want from me. Why can't you just let me be? Whatever happens to me is none of your concern.”

“None of my… You fucking dumbass! You almost died. You think that doesn’t affect people?” Bakugou roared. “Goddamnit. You know, I really thought you were smarter than this. You walk around pretending to be better than everyone else, but you can't get it through your skull that none of that matters when you're dead. If you can’t give your best, then why are you even here?” His hands balled into fists. “I dont know what the fuck is going on in that head of yours, but your reckless behaviour is driving me crazy! You think I didn’t notice how you dragged yourself through school the past two weeks? I knew this was going to happen the moment you heard about the Sports Festival.”

Artemis’s rage simmered down to confusion with every word he spat at her. Why was he so concerned? Despite the anger of his words, the look in his eyes was far from hatred. She watched him pace back and forth as he voiced his frustration.

“For fuck’s sake!” Bakugou stopped suddenly and ran his fingers through his hair. “You're so infuriating. I dont know what the fuck you went through to make you care so little about your own life, but I will not stand here and watch until someone has to bury your arse. If you’re incapable of keeping yourself alive, so help me God, I'll kick your arse until you learn.”

And that's when it clicked in her head. Bakugou didn't hate her. Artemis stared at him. Her mouth opened to speak, but she didn't find the right words to say. He cared. Katsuki Bakugou actually cared.

Artemis’s heart started to race. The realisation hit her like a sledgehammer to the head. No-one had ever cared whether she lived or died. No-one had ever been willing to fight for her or make an effort to keep her alive.

“You… care?” She asked in a hoarse whisper. “Whether I live or die… You care about that?”

Her heart was pounding so fast she was sure Bakugou could hear it. At her question, he turned to stare at her in disbelief.

“Did you not listen to what I just said?” Bakugou strode towards her and grabbed her by her shoulders. He shook her more gently than she’d been anticipating. “Of course I fucking care!”

Artemis didn't know what to say to that. No-one in her life had ever said something like that to her. And she knew Bakugou wasn't lying. She could read it in his heartbeat.

Bakugou had trusted her with his life in the USJ. He’d carried her to safety when her own body had given out. And here he was, trying to keep her safe again.

Artemis should have been angry. She should have pushed him away and told him to mind his own business. But the happiness that bubbled up in her was intoxicating.

Before she could stop herself, Artemis leaned forward, grabbed Bakugou by his jacket and pressed her lips to his.

Bakugou froze under her touch. Artemis didn't quite know what she was doing herself, but before she could pull back, his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer, his eyes falling shut.

The scent of burned sugar filled her senses, clouding her mind in a way she’d never experienced before. Artemis released the fabric of his jacket to snake her arms around his neck.

Before she could do anything more, the sound of approaching footsteps made both of them freeze. They broke apart breathlessly.

Artemis looked up at Bakugou and recognised the same stunned confusion that she felt. Her cheeks started to burn, the heat spreading from her cheeks to her ears as she realised what she… they… had just done.

“Fuck,” she whispered.

Aizawa's muffled voice sounded dangerously close through the door. Bakugou's eyes widened. She opened her mouth to speak, but found herself being tossed back onto the bed. The next second, Bakugou was standing as far away from her as he possibly could.

Artemis didn't mind that at all. Her heart was beating so fast in her chest she was almost afraid it would jump out. What the hell had just happened?

#katsuki bakugou #bakugo #bakugou katsuki #gravity #mha #bnha #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha x oc #bnha x oc #mha fanfic #bnha fanfic #bakugou x oc

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skullstarz · 3 years

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Hi🥺🥺 can i get a bnha and haikyuu matchup??

I’m 17, 4’9 (but i say i’m 5’0), i am pretty hyper but can be serious when needed😤 i love to exercise, play video games and do arts and crafts. I play professional rugby (i play in the top division of my country) and i love to play volleyball with my friends!

(I hope this is enough kffjkfrk, i never know what to say about myself hahaha❤️)

yes ofc its enough <333 i feel the sudden urge to pat you on the head // sorry i took so long i went on hiatus aaaaaa

KENMA

✿ he finds your hyperness cute, and opens up to you rather quickly just like he does with hinata

✿ doesn't necessarily tease you for being short, but will do things like propping himself up on your shoulder

✿ his favorite thing to do with you is play video games

✿ but just cause he's your boyfriend doesn’t mean he'll go easy on you- if you aren’t good at video games you can bet your ass he will show you NO mercy

✿ make him smth with your arts n crafts skillz he will feel so loved

✿ really doesnt get your love for exercising and he wont do it with you

✿ but will support you from the sidelines, both just in exercise and while you're playing your sport (and your video games)

✿ softest cuddles im telling u SOFTEST CUDDLES

✿ your first kiss was during a cuddle session while he was playing video games

kenma grunted softly, thumbs moving quickly as he worked on defeating a boss in his video game. taking a break from having your eyes glued to a screen, you decided to just lay back into his chest, nodding off every now and then. at one point you were woken up by a loud groan from the boy behind you.

looking back at him with a confused expression, you earned a small "i lost the boss fight" from him. chuckling, you tell him how you managed to get past the boss before caressing his cheek. "you're cute from this angle" you tease him, receiving exactly what you expected- a blushing mess

"aw look you're blushing" you smiled before he grabbed you by the cheeks and kissed you unexpectedly. "look, now you're blushing too" he said, retaliating against you with a smile.

KIRISHIMA

✿ your love isn’t really the 'at first sight' type, rather a genuine accumulation of feelings which leads to messy confrontations and sloppy, nervous confessions (NOT AT ALL ANGSTY THOUGH!!!)

✿ he'll never tell you but your height makes him feel like this strong protective boyfriend who would do anything for you

✿ he knows you're strong on your own and can defend yourself, but he just loves knowing you're 100% safe with him

✿ loves that you're active, im talking practicing with you even though he may not be the best at your sports lol

✿ you fit in perfectly with his friend group, and he's really so happy he gets to spend time with the love of his life AND his friends he adores and loves like real family

✿ he love love loves your artsy side and enjoys making crafts with you, especially when you two exchange them like lil gifts, but sometimes his come out uhhhh.... kinda rough

✿ your first kiss was on valentines day, two weeks after you guys got together, when his craft came out really messed up and he felt bummed out about it :(

looking over at kirishima, you can’t help but smile fondly. there he is, pouting at a piece of paper that just won’t stick to the rest of his craft looking cute as always. you couldn’t make out what he was making for you, as he insisted on you guys surprising each other with what you’ve made.

after finishing what you’ve made for him and another couple of minutes passing, you look up to see a determined, focused face turn into a bright, happy smile as he finished. “okay, done!!” he cheered, his overall behavior filling you with happiness.

removing the makeshift cardboard barricade separating you two, kirishima frowns. “aw, mine sucks compared to yours” you were sure you saw even his hair droop a little. perhaps his craft wasn’t perfect, but it was almost a perfect reflection of your relationship, made with love and passion for each other. beaming, you grabbed the gift he made and kissed him softly. “no, yours is perfect.”

#bnha matchup #haikyu matchups #anime #bnha #hq #haikyu kenma #bnha kirishima #miyaplayscupid

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pbandjesse · 4 years

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Today. I dont even really know what to say. I was not in a good place for like the entire first half of the day. I was just so sad. I woke up miserable. I was up for a long time last night. I actually felt pretty awake at like 11pm. So I cut my bangs and enjoyed myself in my studio. Just hanging out. It was nice. But sleep was hard. And waking up was worse.

James got up early and because our apartment continues to be squeaky, I got woken up a few times and I was just not having a good time. I got up for real and played on my phone for a while. But I wasnt having fun. I got out of bed and got dressed. James had made breakfast. He made hashbrowns but something went wrong because they were like. Legitimately disgusting. I felt terrible saying it but I dont know why they were so horrible. The eggs were good but the potatoes were very very bad. Then he felt bad. And I felt guilty for not liking them

And I was just so tired. I couldnt get it together. I ended up in bed and then I started crying. And I felt like I was crying for nothing. I was just super upset. James was going to go for a bike ride but just sat with me instead. I couldnt articulate what was wrong, and I just wanted him to talk to me but he was trying to be quiet and supportive but I just felt so bad. We stayed in bed for a long time. But eventually I cried it out. And I was ready to get up.

James got dressed back in regular clothes. And I went to work in the studio. I worked on my trees for the train. And then the second paint layer for the scene. I am very happy with it so far. Getting tones correct is a bitch but it was fun. And then James went and decided to make bread!

The apartment smelt very good. I kept painting. And then sewed another frog. I think this one is my favorite. I felt better. Moving and making helped. I still dreaded work. And couldnt get myself to work on the lesson. I half want to just be like. I quit. I cant do it. But I wont do that. I just cant commit to that idea.

But were not going back to school in april. Im sure of that. And who knows what the other side will look like. I am going to try to get started on BMI stuff tomorrow. Sending emails and starting research. The sun is supposed to be out tomorrow so that will help I think.

The bread James made was so nice. A little thicker inside but it was good. We tried the oil kit we got for christmas and we did it wrong the first time. Didnt let it sit for long enough. But James went through and made all the suggested recipes and so well have those for the next bread.

We ate bread and oil and then James decided to make a sourdough starter. Were getting into that off the grid solarpunk shit Ive alwasy wanted. Its hard to start these things when you cant leave the house and go to the store but were making due. Trying our best to figure things out.

Were hanging out watching a show and reading fun facts now. I miss my family a lot. James says we can drive up and yell at them from the drive way but that doesnt seem responsible. But we might go to a park or something this week and see some nature. Im scared though about leaving the house so I dont want to do anything that would risk anyone else.

Tomorrow I will feel better. Because I have to. I hope you all have a nice night. Stay safe.

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lovefrozenswan · 4 years

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The Lost Waterbender ch 2

The Fire Nation celebrated its victory over the Avatar cycle when they killed the very last Waterbender in the north pole. With no host to be reborn into, the Avatar cycle ended with Avatar Yangchen's execution.

Until 100 years later, when Elsa found that Ahtohallen was more than just memories.

2nd chapter done. I hope you guys like it :) Especially who I introduce.....

[[more]]

Anna stood at the cliffside overlooking the fjord and held on so tightly to Kristoff she knew she was bruising him.

Arendelle’s destruction was absolute. The rushing water had all but swept it away. The castle was in ruins. The relics of her family, surely lost. All of it was gone due to Anna's decision. Now she would have to lead them as Queen, if they didn’t cast her out. She had no idea how she would live up to Elsa's-

She couldn't even allow herself to think too much about Elsa or risk her knees collapsing beneath her. It had been three days and there were no signs of her sister's return. The Northuldra spiritual leader had told her they believed Elsa to be the 5th spirit of their legend and that she had brought balance back to them all.

At cost of her life.

It was all Anna could do to keep moving.

When Elsa dropped into the icy water below Ahtohallan, her first thought was she needed to find Anna. The voice she had been seeking was her own.. somehow. The fifth spirit. The Avatar. Elsa struggled to understand. She had lived before? The people from her dreams were her past lives? As soon as the voice spoke to her and unlocked this new certainty inside of her, she had lost consciousness.

Then she had visions of Anna in her dreams, while she was frozen in the glacier. Anna had woken the earth spirits and destroyed the dam. Destroyed Arendelle to calm the spirits and right an ancient wrong. She believed Elsa had died. Elsa’s heart broke, she needed to find her sister and help her. And Anna might be the only one who could make sense of what she had found. She kicked towards the light above her, determined to reach it despite the strong current.

Elsa broke the surface with a gasp.

It was all wrong.

When she caught her breath, she saw she was in a bright, frozen ocean. There were a few floating icebergs, but no sign of the glittering glacier of Ahtohallen. Elsa called out for the Nokk and it didn’t show itself either. She was alone.

She pulled herself onto an icy platform and faced the sky. It was clear. The sea was calm, not at all like the dark sea she had crossed. Her heart lurched with questions. Had she drifted that far beneath the icy water? How long had she been inside of Ahtohallen? Is Arendelle really gone-

Her breath was coming in short gasps and she crossed her arms over her chest. Breath. 'I need to focus on something else.' She forced herself to slow down.

Ice sprang from her fingertips into the air and exploded into the bright fractal patterns that she loves, high above her. 'Alright, that still works at least.' she thought. She tried to empty her mind and focus on the ice for a while. 'Anna is safe for now. I am safe for now,' she thought.

It was odd that the Nokk didnt respond. She thought it would be waiting on her. Even odder was the calming of the dark sea and that she couldnt see Ahtohallen anymore.

She settled on not worrying about it for now. She only needed to get home. If the spirits had changed something about the world, it would be clear soon enough.

Watching the ice twist above her reminded her that of course she didn't need the Nokk or anyone else to get home anyway. If she could get back to land she could figure this out and she would be back in no time.

She stepped off the iceberg, the touch of her feet freezing the water beneath her.

“No matter, I can walk to land.” Saying it out loud made it real. She tried to shake the feeling of wrongness. She just needed to see Anna.

“Aang, this is the worst idea you have ever had,” said Sokka, “and youve had some pretty bad ones.”

"Just a few more days here. You saw the Fire Nation ships. They know something has changed too." Aang said, "Besides, arent you supposed to be descended from the water tribe? Where's your 'icy constitution' now?"

"Being related to the extinct water tribe doesnt make me immune to the cold! Especially since you keep hogging all the food and wouldnt let me bring any meat. How am I supposed keep going?" said Sokka, laying flat on his back in Appa's saddle.

"How about I set you down and if you can hunt us one of those tiger seals down there, I will personally cook and eat it with you. I promise." Aang smiled back at Sokka before focusing his gaze back to the ice. His friend was right though. They had been flying Appa over the frozen ocean for three days and seen nothing but penguins, ice, and blue water. It was starting to worry him.

"If we don't miraculously find your Avatar soon, the monks are not going to be happy about our sky bison heist. We can't stay out here forever. I told you all I knew about Ahtohallen from my grandmother and even she never thought it was actually real, just a fantasy for a dead tribe." Sokka continued, "We have to talk about giving this up and trying to beg the monks for forgiveness." Aang wasn't listening anymore, he was looking at a Fire Nation ship far in the distance that wasn't moving. "-we havnt been gone that long. We can just pretend Appa got stuck in a tree and we were saving him-"

"Sokka stop."

"No really, the monks can't prove we went all the way to the south pole with one of the last sky bison-"

"Sokka look at that Fire Nation ship. They never bother to patrol this deep into the ice anymore. What do you see?" Something in Aang's voice got Sokka's attention. He grabbed for the spyglass and aimed it where Aang pointed. Sokka was completely silent for nearly a minute and Aang held his breath the entire time.

"They are fighting someone," he said, voice shaking. "I think its... its a waterbender." He didn't need to tell Aang the significance of that.

Aang nearly shouted. He pulled Appa around and urged him towards the ship as quickly as possible before grabbing his glider. He hoped they weren't too late.

#frozen #frozen 2 #elsa #atla #frozen fic #my writing

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tlcyellow · 6 years

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merlin s1 ep13 le morte d'arthur

this is the last episode of the first season!!!! also theres a few people that have left comments that they actually enjoy my commentary so thats wild. i appreciate it a lot :)

- "do you have any natural gifts merlin?" "well im not naturally rude or insensitive" ROAST HIM MERLIN

- this horribly ugly cgi lizard beast has appeared and i wish i hadnt jump scared me as much as it did but alas

- why is merlin always tripping and falling in the forest lol hes such a mess

- sir bedivere has been killed. wish i cared. wheres leon?

- gaius is like "sounds like what you saw is a questing beast" and arthurs like "surely thats a myth" umm?? you saw it with your own two eyes my dude how could you possibly think that

- katie mcgrath??? glorious

- morgana is throwing a Scene on the stairs saying that she doesnt want arthur to fight the beast bc of her nightmare and merlins like "haha morgana chill out. women am i right???" even though he KNOWS she has the gift of prophecy

- what tf are these sound effects that they chose for the questing beast

- arthurs been "bitten" even though it just sort of looked like the beast sort of sliced him a bit with his claws

- lmao uther came in all upset about arthur and was like "i'll carry him to his chamber" and then it zoomed in on his face and he gave this incredible Sniff of Emotion

- oh boy now uthers crying in the town square like the emo bitch he is while a dramatic Chorus of Angels sings in the background

- god the dragon is so annoying. it takes twenty years to answer any single question

- okay so there has to be a life given in order to save arthur but i cant remember what the life is? its been a really long time since ive seen this show wow

- gwens taking care of arthur and delievering this dramatic monologue about how he needs to live which is cute even though theyve only had like one scene together before this lol

- "i dont believe in miracles" emo bitch uther strikes again

- colin morgan is a very pretty man

- ooh nimuehs back again. what a Queen. also i love her lipstick

- "what are you doing physician?" um his name is gaius

- morgana grabbed a hold of merlin and delievered the worlds most cryptic message and then let him go and it was Super Weird

- "the prince lives" what a weird way to say that. why is no one calling each other by their actual names in this episode

- arthurs all "im not gonna die" and im like "sure jan"

- arthur and gwen have had a third scene together now. my goodness this is true romance in the making

- HOLY SHIT ITS HIS MOM THATS GOING TO DIE. i didnt realize this was gonna get so dark.

- damn the unhelpful dragon has been Cut Off

- so now merlins gonna bargain a life for the life that he already bargained?? okay

- noooooooo merlin dont cry

- this scene with merlin and arthur was so lovely and sad and even though i know merlin isnt going to die i cant help but feeling a tad emotional

- OHMYGOD HE GAVE HIS MOM THE RABBITS FOOT AND THERE ARE REAL AND GENUINE TEARS IN MY EYES

- OHMYGOD GAIUS IS GIVING HIS LIFE FOR MERLIN. once again i know gaius doesnt actually end up dying BUT I REALLY DONT REMEMBER THIS EPISODE AT ALL SO ALL THESE PLOT TWISTS ARE LIKE REALLY INTENSE

- nimuehs whole outfit is a #look

- this reverb effect on nimueh and merlins voices is super extra and dramatic but like what else could i have expected from this show

- merlin fucking electrocuted that bitch to death holy shit that was hardcore

- even when hes just woken up from Death gaius is ready to roast the shit out of merlin

next episode: the curse of cornelius sigan

#tylers merlin rewatch #merlin #colin morgan #katie mcgrath #bradley james

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jsalim-art · 7 years

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You should tell us about your trip from a country that doesnt exist tell us about the people who live there, food, customes, the people you met there and the most notable experience from this trip

So last year in my totally real adventures in traveling I went on a weeklong trip to the remarkable nation of Arborra. It is a country with so many trees as far as the eye can see (other than the airport the only area with no trees). Other than the trees the other thing I have noticed how fresh the air is like breathing it in felt so cleansing. You’d think there would be no civilization from all this trees but again I guess that would be subjective because this place is different from all the countries I’ve visited in my life. At the airport I was met by a husband and wife, they are the family that will be hosting me since the Aborrans don’t have big hotels but most families are willing to take in tourists under their wing.

They greeted me warmly asking how my flight was, in which I replied to be very much glad to be ground than be up in the air. They laughed thinking it to be funny but what they didn’t know I was met with a lot of plane turbulence that scared the crap out of me. I was led to their carriage which is hitched up not to a horse but a big deer. Yes you heard me a deer, definitely not a horse but it is built like a drafthorse. The husband whom is referred to as Venan (his wife’s name being Nandi) chuckled at my amazement at the sheer size of the creature. From what he told me, Nima (the deer) is a domesticated descendant of his wild species which are way bigger than him and is one of many breeds.

The ride to their town took an hour but I enjoyed seeing the scenery of all the trees which are humongous evergreens that reach so high up. I’ve seen an animal pop up once in a while and could of sworn I saw a giant version of Nima but whatever it was the carriage moved too fast for me to comprehend what I saw. Other than the deer thought I saw what looked like squirrels that looked like cats and birds whose plumage resemble the pine needles.

It was dark when we reached the town or what I thought it was like I said all I saw are trees. Venan and Nandi’s friendly demenure turned wary fifteen minutes before our arrival then relief when we finally reached the place. Nandi said that we are lucky not to have to camp outside town if we didn’t reach on time. Apparently at night the apex predatory animals are out during this time and it is obviously not safe. For some reason though the predators never enter the towns as they prefer to be hidden in their habitat than be caught in the towns. I took their word for it because just when we are to enter town I thought I heard an unholy howl that sent chills to my bones although Venan and Nandi did not flinch at the sound as this is something they always heard.

Upon seeing the town this is what I noticed about the trees compared to the giant evergreens. The trees here are not as big but they are deciduous, specifically they are maple tress. This “maple town” is Cernis Town. Dwellings and buildings are either tree houses or the house is embedded into the tree like it is grown to be structured like a house. Venan’s and Nandi’s house is the latter type of house which I could describe to be a two-storey type with big windows. I noticed certain parts of the tree outside and inside are lit up a certain bioluminescence to it.

It is within the house I finally got to meet my host family’s children two twin 8 year old girls that go by Lu and La who seem very excited to see me which I am told I am their very first guest to ever host. The twins were more than eager to show me around the house and I got to meet the family pet which is their “cat” named Kit who resemblres more like a tabby striped puma who is the biggest softie I ever met who loves being petted a lot. After such a harried tour around the house, Venan managed to save me from the twins attempting to show me the town as it was so late.

I was to join the family in having dinner with them. I felt very much at home with them despite my surroundings feeling different than I could handle. Out dinnertime conversations consists of us asking questions with each other and getting them answered to get to know each other better. For example I’ve learned most of their energy is solar based as each tree is fitted with solar panels which is a back up source of energy if anything were to happen to the leaves considering the trees are deciduous. The leaves of the trees are genetically modified to absorb solar energy from the leaves. So certain commodities such as the internet, and electronics here and amazingly I am getting better phone reception in this country than in Canada. From me the family especially the twins were amazed how the houses and my town was like compared to theirs.

Dinner was delicious as the food here is either grown, raised, hunted or gathered. Food is never wasted as the people never took more than they need than hoard it all to themselves as whatever they have plenty they share. For tonight’s fare was roasted venison with tubers that Venan and Nandi hunted and bartered for last week. For dessert is a berry cake made from the berries Lu and La gathered.

Before bed the twins wanted to show me something, they took me to the guest room where I am to be staying for the week. My room had a good view of the night sky which is bright as Toronto at night. I could see every star possible along with the moon. The twins wanted to talk to me more but their parents said there will be more to do tomorrow if we sleep now. I slept my first night seeing the beautiful night sky.

The next day I was woken up by Kitty met with a face full of cat fur and loud purring. It didn’t help that Lu and La came barging into my room and jumping in the bed being all excited. But I didn’t mind as I slept pretty well anyway. We got ourselves ready and I had breakfast with my host family which consisted of eggs given by the neighbor’s domesticated fowl and toast from home made bread.

After breakfast Venan and Nandi had to go to work, Venan and Nandi make a living repairing and managing the tree dwellings of others. The twins and their cat were the ones to show me around, we hitched a ride on Nima and made our way around town. From what I’ve seen so far people are generally friendly to each other. Everything is relied on a trading system and with people having plenty of everything to give each other resources everyone gets along,

The twins showed me the market place where the trading system really is most prominent, since the concept of actual currency does not exist here. At the marketplace there was a small carving that resembles a miniature version of Kitty which the twins suggested I should get which consisted of finding the crafter trading off these carvings who wanted a jar or berry jam and to get that jam I have to get from a woman who makes jam who wanted a certain type of flower and from the florist she wanted me to get her some eggs from the twins’ neighbors which resulted in finding that neighbor who will offer said items if I helped him find his domesticated fowl who were hiding amongst the trees. I felt like I was in a bizarre sidequest but It was worth getting that carving. The rest of the day the twins showed me more of what their town could offer me and I tool a lot of great pictures on my phone.

This is how my week basically went either by myself or with any or all of my host family. I experienced many new things but one even happened where things escalated faster than I can comprehend. Long story short I almost had a near death experience you see La went after Kitty who chased after a small animal outside town when it was dark and I have mentioned its off limits to go out because of the huge predators. Lu and I went after them and we went a not so far distance until we caught up with them Something big was comping towards us and lets just say we ran for our lives from a giant bear creature. It almost got us but the creature stopped short the moment we all entered twon. The creature looked at us hungrily but as if its not worth us being in its gullet the bear creature trundled off. It was then Venan and Nandi saw us and looking at our scared faces knew basically what happened.

The twins were upset but their parents were not angry just disappointed that they wondered off but they are very glad we are all alive and that the twins promised they won’t do that again and ask for help if anything like this happens again. Other than that experience of seeing this creature my trip is uneventful of the huge animal variety. My trip was still exciting none the less as I got to get to know more of Aborra’s people and culture.

The night before I was going to leave back home my host family made a feast in my honor and all the neighbors were invited as well. I was sad to leave and the fact that a week passed by so quickly and the fact I am not looking forward being up in the air in a plane. However my host family invited me to take part in their Harvest Festival during the this coming fall and autumn being my favorite season I look forward to seeing the trees again.

(I pulled this out my ass but I hope the read is enjoyable, still need to work on my writing)

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leekycauldron-blog1 · 7 years

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Moment of Madness

feel free to send requests HERE

Summary: History of Magic is mind numbing enough to send anyone into madness. And so when Draco decides to allievate his boredom by sending passive aggressive messages to Harry across the desks, Harry finds that Draco isnt always as bad as he seems. That’s until he is.

(A/N: The messages sent between Harry and Draco are the sentences in italics)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter

Warnings: Swearing

Wordcount: 2.9k

Surviving a class on barely 4 hours of sleep is difficult and Harry’s sure that sitting through two and half hours of Professor Binns drone on about the great Giant Wars of the nineteenth century is even more difficult to survive than any other class. In fact, Harry’s not even sure he can survive because the fact that these wars ‘are a prime example of bellicose conflict which hold a significant place in the history of the Wizarding World’ doesn’t seem nearly as important to Harry as it should do given the fact he’s about to be sitting his O.W.Ls in a few months’ time. But Harry can’t find it in him to care, not when the Professor’s monotonous voice is enough to make his eyelids heavy and there’s no way he can take notes when the words blur on his page.

Usually, Harry would spend History of Magic lessons playing hangman on the corner of his parchment with Ron beside him; no one could see, they sit at the back of the class room and Professor Binns is so caught up in the textbook that he most likely wouldn’t look up even if someone dropped dead in front of him. Harry finds mild amusement in that thought since everyone knows Professor Binns wasn’t even aware of his own death when he woke up one day and began teaching as a ghost – what Harry would give to feel that blissfully oblivious.

The professor’s words have started to slur together as Harry’s mind gets more distant, his eyes closed now as he rests his head on his arm, his head tilted to the side so that if the professor weren’t to look up, he wouldn’t see that Harry was asleep. Because he’s falling asleep and his eyelids are so heavy he couldn’t bear to keep them open anymore; it’s so relaxing, so relieving, so-. Harry’s thoughts of just how comfortable he’s feeling right now are halted by the sound of parchment fluttering on the desk beside him. Assuming Ron has finally awoken and decided he wants to play hangman now, Harry begrudgingly opens his eyes, slightly annoyed that he couldn’t rest for longer but he supposes it’s for the best.

Except Ron’s breath is still heavy beside him and Harry notices that perched on the side of his desk, just next to where his head had been, is a small origami bird. Three guesses as to who that’s from, Harry thinks to himself with a roll of his eyes; he doesn’t even bother to look in Malfoy’s direction as he reaches out to open the note. He’s certain it’s from Malfoy, he’s sent a note like this once before and besides, Harry can feel his eyes on him from the desk to his right but he ignores it, unfolding the note without even a glance in that direction.

bored potter? lets hope old binns doesnt notice… would be terrible to see someone as precious as ‘the chosen one’ get detention.

Harry practically fights the urge to bang his head on the desk from irritation. He’d been waiting for Malfoy to pick up on all the ‘Chosen One’ shit the Prophet had been spouting off, now he has to put up with that prick’s incessant teasing on top of the rest of the school whispering every time he walks past. Brilliant. Harry scrunches up the piece of parchment and shoves it in the pocket of his robes, refusing to even acknowledge Malfoy with the hopes that he’d direct his boredom on to someone else.

Another piece of parchment levitates onto his desk and Harry sees it’s not folded in some obnoxiously fancy origami figure this time, instead folded messily into a square just small enough for it to not be noticed as it quickly flies across the gap in between their desks.

so we’ve taken to ignoring people these days have we? Is the chosen one above all of us commoners now his face is plastered all over the daily prophet every day?

Harry scowls at the message as he reads it – no but I’m definitely prone to ignoring self-righteous arseholes like you, Harry thinks to himself but he doesn’t write it. He contemplates even writing anything at all but knowing Malfoy, he wouldn’t stop sending them until Harry rose to the bait and Harry was already hooked on. He was too tempted to retort that he just couldn’t refuse.

sounds like you spend a lot of time reading about me in the prophet malfoy. Im flattered honestly.

Harry scribbles the message on the same bit of spare parchment that Malfoy wrote on before, his handwriting noticeably messy underneath the other boy’s near-perfect words. That’s typical of him, Harry thinks. As much as he dislikes the boy, Harry can’t deny that practically everything he does is as near to perfect as you can get – perfect test scores, perfect handwriting, perfect fucking uniform (there’s never a button undone or tie slightly out of place). And no, it’s not like Harry pays attention to that, of course he doesn’t, but it’s hard to not notice it. Mindlessly, Harry flicks his wand slightly to levitate the parchment back to Malfoy who’s eyes seem to light up just at the fact he’s got a response, Harry notices the way his mouth curls into a sly smirk as he reads the words and picks up his quill.

you wish potter. I think you’ll find I spend half my mornings trying to avoid seeing your face on everyone’s newspapers. shame I have to see it so much in real life.

A roll of his eyes is Harry’s initial response as he dares a look in Malfoy’s direction, excepting him to have that familiar snarl on his face but he’s not even looking over at Harry. Instead, he’s feigning interest in the class and Harry almost admires the way he’s able to pretend to know what’s going on so easily – Harry knows that he himself looks lost in most classes at the best of times.

Harry chews the bottom of his lip as he contemplates the best way to get under Malfoy’s skin, he thinks he prefers this to shouting in the corridors, there’s more time to really think about what he’s going to say. In the end he decides that the best way to really get to the boy beside him is to act as though he doesn’t care, act disinterested because one thing he knows about Malfoy is that he loves knowing his words are getting to Harry and Harry isn’t going to give him what he wants.

hm okay then.

Malfoy puts the parchment down on the desk beside him after he’s read and Harry has to supress a smirk as he watches the blond from the corner of his eye. There’s nothing he can say to that. Harry essentially just ended the conversation in three words but Harry also knows that it’s not going to be over because Malfoy won’t let Harry think he’s got the upper hand. He watches as the boy picks up his quill hesitantly, unsure as to whether replying will make it seem as though Harry won or if ignoring will make it seem like Harry won. Harry thinks it’s a win-win either way for him but Malfoy obviously thinks otherwise as he’s put the quill down now and his wand flicks the parchment back to Harry.

besides, my family have been in the prophet HUNDREDS of times. you’re not special.

It’s bizarre to Harry how predictable Malfoy is to him, he could have put money on Malfoy bringing his family into this at some point – the stuck-up prat can’t stop himself from showing off – except Harry wouldn’t ever waste his money. Harry doesn’t respond this time, he just leaves the note on the desk and directs his gaze to the front of the classroom. But Harry can practically feel Malfoy’s irritation radiating off of him, he’s hyper-aware of the glares that keep being shot in his direction before yet another piece of parchment lands beside him.

don’t ignore me

Just two more minutes before another lands.

potter

Merlin, he really is feeling particularly annoying today, Harry thinks as he decides to play up to Malfoy’s need to get his attention. Harry lets out a yawn, it’s completely fake because since they’ve started sending these notes Harry’s woken up significantly. Nonetheless, he rests his head on his arm again, his eyes fluttering closed the same as earlier, before parchment lands on his desk again. Although not before it hits his face causing his eyes to fly open, they meet Malfoy’s gaze as he stares back in amusement. Amusement. Harry doesn’t think he’s witnessed that emotion on Malfoy’s face, usually it’s disgust or anger or some other negative word that is associated with the boy. And Harry’s not entirely sure when this exchange became a little friendlier than usual but it certainly feels that way.

POTTER STOP BEING FUCKING LAZY!

Harry’s lips curl a little at the edges as he reads that message, noticing the slightest hint of a smile on Malfoy’s lips as well. Not that the note was particularly funny, they just both know Harry wasn’t really asleep and they both know that the attempt at acting so failed miserably.

are you really that bored that you’re resorting to literally throwing insults at me on pieces of spare parchment?

Harry notices the way Malfoy very-nearly-almost-but-not-quite laughs at the message and Harry also notices that he very-nearly-almost-but-not-quite feels happy about that fact before he snaps himself out of it because he doesn’t like Malfoy. Of course he doesn’t. It’s just strange to have this new dynamic where they aren’t actively telling the other they hate them – it’s strange and it’s only because they have no one else to talk to.

yes I am really that bored so humour me. if you’ve got anything better in mind I’d be happy to hear your suggestions. only if it doesn’t involve sleeping. or ignoring me. because we already established you can’t do either of those things

Harry has to tear a new bit of parchment now, the previous one is full from the notes and so he hurriedly writes a response. A response that maybe isn’t a peace offering in the slightest, in fact, it’s far from it but Harry’s decided he’s not in the mood to spark up another argument right now given how tired he is.

how about not arguing? it seems pretty ineffective trying to do it on a piece of parchment. not the same when I cant hear how much your voice infuriates me

Malfoy smirks at his parchment as he reads Harry’s response, not even hesitating to think before he starts to write and Harry mentally kicks himself at the fact he’s probably writing a spiteful response; telling Malfoy not to do something is probably the exact same a leaving a slab of raw meat in front of a werewolf and hoping they wouldn’t eat it – impossible to resist. So much for the not-so-peaceful peace offering.

infuriates you? and here i was thinking you get all red and flustered because you think im sexy not because you’re angry. shame.

Harry’s blood runs cold as he reads the words and he’s sure it’s clear on his face, the way his features drop instantly. Yes, Harry’s gay, he’s known that fact for a while now and really only a select few people know; those select few consisting of only Ron, Hermione and Sirius. But- but Harry can’t stop his heart from speeding up because is this Malfoy’s way of telling him that he knows his secret? That would be a disaster, yet another insult for him to throw around. Fuck, what if he told everyone? What if Draco fucking Malfoy was the one who outed Harry Potter to the rest of the Wizarding World? The thought sends shivers down Harry’s spine. And maybe as a gay man, Harry can appreciate the fact that Draco Malfoy is really bloody attractive and if he wasn’t such a dick he might even go as far as to say he’s beautiful but the fact is, there’s no way Malfoy could have found out about this. Harry’s overreacting, he knows deep down that what Malfoy said was nothing meaningful, just a few words scribbled down in the spur of the moment and Harry tries his best to calm himself from his panic as he responds.

fuck off malfoy

Malfoy responds in literally a matter of seconds, no less than a minute.

there we go! told you its easy to argue this way. anyone would think its true given how defensive you’re getting

It’s not true. Not true whatsoever. From an objective standpoint, Malfoy is attractive – anyone would admit that he is. But that doesn’t mean Harry gets flustered around him, it certainly doesn’t mean Harry thinks of him as sexy. But when he glances over to Malfoy, the blond catches his gaze with a teasing wink meant only to annoy Harry but Harry… well, Harry is mortified at the way his face seems to heat up, his stomach swirling and Merlin, what is Malfoy doing to him? Harry drags his gaze away and back to the parchment, a feeling of absolute discomfort settling at the pit of stomach because he can’t quite believe his own emotions and how the hell did a few passive aggressive notes lead to Harry being so confused?

no you’re just irritating. shut up.

Once Malfoy’s finished writing, Harry is almost one hundred percent certain he hears a small chuckle from the desk beside him. He briefly decides that he really enjoys that sound, more than he probably should, and there’s yet another blush creeping onto Harry’s cheeks. This needs to stop now. He needs to get the hell out of this classroom, away from Malfoy until he’s feeling sane enough to hate the boy again.

relax potter. Im not gonna shout out to the whole class that you fancy me

I DON’T FANCY YOU!

Harry flicks his wand slightly more urgently than he has been before and Malfoy notices because he’s practically beaming with satisfaction – that dick is loving this, Harry thinks.

ok potter whatever you say

And when he reads Malfoy’s reply, his shoulders tense along with his jaw because Malfoy is so irritating and infuriating and so Harry writes the first two words that enter his mind.

fuck you

yes potter, I already know you want to fuck me. I found that out when I decided that you fancy me.

As arrogant as Malfoy’s response is, as inexplicably annoying his smirk is from the corner of Harry’s eye, Harry finds himself letting out a snort of laughter as he reads the message. And Harry isn’t sure he finds the joke about fucking the funniest or the fact that Malfoy has apparently ‘decided’ that Harry fancies him but it’s more relief than anything because Malfoy doesn’t know he’s gay, Harry knows that for sure now. The last sentence confirmed the fact that Malfoy was talking shit for the past ten minutes. Feeling significantly more relaxed than before, Harry picks up his quill.

you’re such a-

“Mr Malfoy, Mr Potter!” Professor Binns’ voice echoes around the room and Harry’s head shoots up from looking down at the parchment so fast he’s surprised he didn’t get whiplash. People’s heads are turning now, eyeing them both carefully and as Harry glances at Malfoy, he notices the way his cheeks are tinted with the slightest shade of pink – Harry’s sure they’re both thinking the exact same thing; how fucking embarrassing for them to both be mentioned in the same sentence in front of the whole class. “Clearly you think passing notes in the back of my class important enough to not pay attention… perhaps you’d care to read them to the rest of the group?”

Harry shakes his head, his heart speeding up a little because there’s no way Ron would ever let him live it down if he heard what they’d been writing. He’d no doubt be questioned about this later in the common room anyway and he supposed he could just pass it off as Malfoy sending childish drawings again but that couldn’t happen if Ron knew the truth, he’d have reason to make fun of Harry probably until the end of term. “No Professor, it’s not important. Sorry.”

“Very well but I expect to see you both in detention after class.” Harry merely nods in response, quickly scrunching up the parchment and stuffing it into his robes with the rest of the pieces; he’d definitely Incendio those tonight. Ron is shooting a questioning stare at Harry, one eyebrow raised as he waits for an explanation that Harry certainly can’t give now he’s under the watchful stare of the Professor. Instead he shrugs his shoulders, almost a way of telling Ron that Malfoy was being typical Malfoy without using words and Ron gets it, shooting a quick scowl over Harry’s shoulder at Malfoy before resting his head back down to sleep.

“Nice going, Potter.” Malfoy whispers with a sharp hint of malice on his tongue and Harry rolls his eyes, acting as though he didn’t hear a word otherwise. This is better, this is normal. Harry thinks he’s never going to get that friendly with Malfoy again and he is completely okay with that fact. Completely okay with the idea of repressing whatever the hell felt for the Slytherin on the desk beside him for the rest of life; this was a moment of madness, he decides, utter madness.

#drarry #drarry fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #draco malfoy fanfiction #Harry Potter

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