#tbh i’m just scared of the outcome really | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thisdreamplace · 9 months

Note

Hey dream! just a heads up, this is gonna be a pretty long ask i hope you don’t mind 😭 but i sent you an ask earlier this year and your response helped but i still find myself struggling with quite a few things when it comes to the law 💀 i’ve been contemplating on sending another ask for some time now because honestly, i didn’t want to go asking people for advice because i felt like i had to figure this stuff out all by myself. but, i’ve finally decided that it’s okay to have some guidance and i think you’re the right person to come to for that 💃🏽 lately i’ve been feeling kind of lost? like i feel stuck. i started consistently listening to edward art’s videos on youtube and i feel like they helped a bit, then i got back on tumblr after a long time and i started reading your posts along with heavenlythea’s and some others. and i think my views on the law are starting to change?? like i’ve been reading posts about letting go and indifference, non duality and i’m like oh! okay that makes sense but then i’ve been so used to things not happening for me and “failing”, sometimes i still wonder “is any of this even real? am i really the I AM?” and i really don’t know how to get myself out of that. like i’m waking up everyday trying to figure this out and i’m still having the same old, boring ass experiences 💀💀 i feel like every time i think i’m close to figuring it all out i get stuck and then i’m like 🧍🏽‍♀️🤔 okay now what? but then…i’m not sure i actually know what i want fr lolll. so yea, i hope that wasn’t confusing 😭 but some advice would be very much appreciated 🤍 also, could i be 🤸🏽‍♀️ anon?

hiii 🤸🏽‍♀️ anon :3

yeah, there's totally no harm in coming back to someone/something time to time that helps guide you forward !! we don't have to constantly be alone and figure everything out for ourselves, this world is totally a guide.

hmm you wonder how to get yourself out of the questioning but don't. i think that... it's pretty normal to stay there, even for a long time. i think online you see a lot of people who are like, "it all clicked over night <3" which is great but i think for many of us it actually turns out to be a .... journey. and thats what i try to highlight and normalize a lot through what i share.

when you say how youre always trying to figure this out and youre waking up always having the same old experiences... it's because you continue to be the same old you. how could you expect anything different ? bc you understand the concepts on a thinking level ? that doesn't do much for us. the true change comes in changing in ourselves, in actually practicing what it is we read about. we put so much pressure on the ego to make sense of something it's not meant to make sense of. the god within already knows, so stop taking that on as your daily task. your daily task is actually surrender, acceptance, trust. to enjoy and experience these things you read about. not just think about it and try to understand it.

you mention how youre so used to "failure" and i get it, because i was too for so, so long. and tbh the way i got myself out of that was simple. i decided to dare to think for once i can experience smth new, for once i can experience a new outcome. and that's all i did. i didnt miraculously heal my anxiety or suddenly realize how im god and none of this is real. i just let myself be, and opened myself up to the possibility of something different than what i'm used to. and that was literally enough. it's not that hard, we just tend to be scared of letting it be simple.

i hope this makes sense, and i'm excited to hear about how you advance in your journey xo

17 notes · View notes

fairycosmos · 6 months

Note

help a few weeks ago I got a prescription for citalopram and today I decided to start trying it and I deeply regret it because reading about the side effects gave me a panic attack and I wish I’d never taken it and I can’t sleep because I’m so scared I’ll die or throw up in my sleep or something. I’m never taking this again it’s just not worth the fear oh my god. tbh I’ve always been scared of substances like I didn’t ever get drunk till I was 21 (drinking age here is 19) because I was so scared of alcohol and I had to get sedated to get my wisdom teeth out and thinking about it still freaks me out. Anyway I’m losing my mind please tell me I won’t have any long term effects from taking 10mg of citalopram because I know that’s true but I’m like straight up losing it

im so sorry you're feeling so much anxiety about this and i know words/reason don't really register when you're in this heightened state but i hope you can breathe and come back to this - you will be absolutely fine. it is a very small controlled amount of medication that was specifically prescribed to help you out. obviously they have to list the possible side effects for legal reasons but that does not mean youre guaranteed (or even likely) to experience every single one. i hope you can sip some water and take some space and time to talk yourself through the anxiety you're feeling. if it continues, i really recommend talking to your doctor about it and seeing if they can offer any insight or alternatives that you might be more comfortable with. medication anxiety is very very real and i think it's ok to recognise that while also trying to remember that your doctor has your best interests at heart and if there were any long-term effects that would outweigh the positives the meds bring you then they likely wouldn't have recommended it. if it turns out this medication isn't for you, you can always come off it under the guidance of a medical professional before any potential side effects progress (if you experience any at all.) sending so much love and a massive hug your way, i know this is exhausting and scary for you. it's difficult not to catastrophize but it's important to remember that realistically there are a tons of other outcomes besides you taking a medication and getting as gravely and irreversibly ill as youre imagining. please go easy on yourself. X

#anon

17 notes · View notes

kanachaka · 8 months

Note

Hey you ! I have a question about shifting that is really important to me

The only thing holding me back from shifting is the fact that I’m scared that I’ll get depressed in my CR because I’m not in my DR anymore. You get what I mean ? I have been depressed in my CR already and It took me so long to be happy again. I enjoy my life here , I really do, but I fear that I won’t enjoy it anymore if I shift. I’m also afraid that I get addicted to shifting or something. Is that even possible?. I know that I can shift and I know that I will … but I’m really really afraid of the outcome :(

Don’t feel pressured to be answering my question <3

Yeaaaa this is a difficult hurdle to go through when wanting to shift

I don’t know if you can get addicted to shifting tbh, I would say it depends. You probably can but thats okay, if that happens just take a step back.

Just keep in mind that your dr isn’t all sunshine and rainbows either (most likely) i mean it depends on where you’re shifting but there’s drama everywhere, and if you’re not shifting to a realistic show or something and there’s some element of magic or supernatural you’re gonna get fucked up or see smth fucked up😭😭

Genuinely tho, I would recommend sorting some stuff out in your life before you shift if it’s this big of a concern for you. (Or affirm that it’s not gonna be totally life altering while shifting) Everyone’s shifting journey is different and if yours requires a lil bit of extra work that’s ok!!

(Also I apologize for the late response I’m going insane)

#shiftblr #desired reality #quantum jumping #shiftinconsciousness #shifting #reality shift #shifting realities #chronic #reality shifting #kakasks

8 notes · View notes

moonjxsung · 1 month

Note

guess what? i had my first lolla nightmare😭😂 i dreamt that it was in this weird indoors park (something literally from the lorax) and that there was a plushie store and im only human so i spent like 5hrs at the plushie store. and then i almost missed skz but i didnt. but i was super far back and could barely see them😭 and that’s one of my biggest fears fr. bc irl imma b crazy and try to be as close as possible. then i woke up with kind of an adrenaline rush🥲

i also feel the sentiment of not finding cute clothes😭 like what does one wear to these. i’m intimidated fr bc i usually try to dress pretty pretty but will it last the literal 12hrs?😭

-🐈‍⬛

NOOOOO not the Lolla nightmare 😭😫😫 concert nightmares happen to me so often like before I saw Harry Styles for a second time in concert I had SO many nightmares about my phone dying or not picking a cute outfit and what’s so funny is that when the concert actually came around, I was going through so much stuff and taking my hardest uni course ever so I wasn’t able to pick a cute outfit AND my phone was almost dead by the time I even got to the venue 😀 literally cried at the concert bc I was so frustrated but I guess it also just forced me to really appreciate the show and be present in the moment so looking back I don’t even regret anything tbh 🫶 to be fair I would be late bc of a plushie store too so at least you can trust I’d be there with you 🚶‍♀️

I’m super nervous about getting a good spot and outfits too though!! I was really scared for global citizen but we ended up getting a good spot and people were really respectful about maintaining their distance and making sure everyone was comfortable so it all turned out okay and our view was decent enough to see the boys well 🫶 outfits though sheeesh I already know I’m going to pick them last minute 😀 IT’S OKKKK as long as I see skz I will be content with whatever the outcome is :’)

ILY bby don’t stress!! Have the best week ever ily ily 👼💞💓💗💘💕💖💝

#🐈‍⬛ anon #ask

2 notes · View notes

psychelis-new · 6 months

Note

Hi Lys! How are you? :) I wondered if it is possible to participate in your tarot game. I choose a personal reading.

Question: My question is regarding an old friend M, with whom I lost touch. I wondered if I could receive an unfiltered channeled message from them. M and I used to talk a lot, and now being strangers is a bittersweet feeling :)

Feedback: I really like all of your tarot readings but your pac about What you need to let go of, really moved me. I chose the 2nd pile which talked about being stuck because of fear and having certain attachments. It kind of made me realize that I’m scared to try new things by stepping out of my comfort zone. If I don’t try, I can’t expect a different outcome in my life :) I’ve been dealing with some sadness and lack of motivation lately so the reading gave me some light. You also gave advice to just focus on the present moment which brought me a new perspective, so truly thank you for that! your words have healing power :) I believe fear is a part of life, but it shouldn’t overpower me.

Two random emojis I’m sending you: 🤍🦋

Thank you for reading this! :))

Hello and thanks for joining! Thank you also for sending your accurate feedback. You're right, fear is part of our life but it all depends on how we deal with it and not letting it control us and oveerpower us is a good way to start living with it... which I think is what we are supposed to do. I do hope you can find first way to ease your mind and then move on and even try something different: it feels scary to leave a comfort zone for our mind, even if it's a place of pain, to move to something else, but give yourself time and the permission to even make mistakes while trying. It'll be fine! I also understand your situation with your friend, as it happened a lot to me too. Sometimes it's just how things are supposed to be: not everyone is meant to stay in our life forever and vice versa. It's okay to grow apart on different roads, even if at times it may hurt... let's see your message anyway:

Well ofc you think about M at times (you wouldn't be here if not ofc) and you may even wonder about their life and maybe thinking about checking on them. But it may also happen that something else comes in between and you block yourself and focus on that. TBH, it could also be them in this same situation. Not sure if something happened among you two but from the cards and the signs I am getting, it doesn't seem so: it feels something "natural" maybe cause of each of you having something to deal with and not having too much time to dedicate to your friendship. I am sensing more like of an internal issue/conflict or moving (something personal anyway), maybe related to healing something that blocked the connection or brought some kind of change which had you grow apart. I think it's a good time to stop this cycle and maybe, if you rather, connect back together. If you have a feeling, a sensation of reaching out, you can do that. I think it won't cause any bad reaction.

"Try to look at it from a different pov. This cycle has ended and we can possibly communicate again if you want. There's a lot you don't know! Remember you now have learned all you need, you know how to deal with much more and you're stronger than what your mind wants you to believe. i'm here if you want".

Ofc please be aware this is just a reading and the last decision is up to you, your own real life and your own sensations and feelings (which should always come first, so take time to realize if that could be a good thing or not for your life now, depending on however it would go). The feeling I get is that, even if things went wrong among you two after you contacted each other, you would be able to survive anyway (you've been without them already). But also, maybe you can move your friendship to a different stage now (like instead of talking daily, you can call/message every once in a while if it could work for both).

All the best in your life, take care!

#.#13 #personal readings

4 notes · View notes

jehovahhthickness · 1 year

Note

Hova, I am freaking out. I am an emotional wreck. I hope that you & your followers don’t judge me for what I’m about to share.. I just really need someone to listen & somewhere safe to express my feelings/concerns. I’m having a very difficult time processing all of this alone.

I found out Wednesday that I have HSV 1 & 2. I’m positive I know exactly who gave it to me..

A few months ago, I traveled to my home state to visit friends & family over the summer.. Well, I ended up meeting someone through a good friend of mine. He was very kind, funny & handsome so I started really liking him. We talked a lot, went on dates & had a lot of fun out & about. It felt like such a solid & magnetic connection.. We started to spend a lot of time together. It had been almost 2 years of no sex, so I figured I would have some fun.. Which now has turned into a nightmare for me.. I wish I had never gotten involved with this man.. Had I known this outcome would bring me sexual trauma for the rest of my life… Mentally & physically.

I never experienced any cold sores, genital sores, tingling, burning or any symptoms of HSV.. So I never would have thought I had it if I hadn’t gone to my routine woman’s well check earlier this week, got tested & found out. The only thing I noticed recently that makes me suspect it was him was a cluster of small fluid filled bumps on the side of my left middle finger not long after we were intimate. I’ve been on google reading about HSV & I read something called “herpetic whitlow.” It says it’s usually by the nail bed, but I saw some pics towards the middle of the finger that looked similar to what I had going on. I brushed it off thinking maybe it was a burn or something else. I had no clue it could be HSV so I didn’t think much of it at the time.

Now I am very worried because my toddler developed a rash shortly after. He had a few bumps similar to mine on his arm like 3 fluid filled bumps. Then another rash on his groin. (Not his genitals, but on one side of his inner thigh/groin area.) It says whitlow is very contagious & now I’m very very afraid that I could have passed this onto him. Especially changing diapers since it was on my finger & I did not have a band aid on.. Even holding him, a kiss or sharing a cup? It did clear up fairly quickly. He didn’t seem to experience any sort of discomfort. No fever, irritability, crying. It went away on its own & hasn’t returned since I noticed it around September. Although, I’m thinking the worst & also worried it may come back. I am so scared & upset. I just want to make sure that he is okay, but I’m nervous about taking him into the doctor because what if they accuse me of sexual abuse? Then I risk legal problems because of a possible virus on my finger. Maybe I’m just paranoid & overthinking & he’s fine? Google feels more unreliable than ever. Each website has different information & I don’t know what’s true & what’s not.

I wish this never happened. I’m so stressed, depressed, embarrassed, ashamed & angry. My anxiety won’t let me relax thinking I’ve passed this on without meaning to. I feel fucking awful.

Thank you for listening.

Please, please, please use protection guys :(

- Sincerely, one devastated mama..

I want to reassure you that herpes is so fricking common and not lethal to the point that the stigma that’s attached to it is worse than the actual condition itself.

Literally most folks have either both herpes 1 & 2 and have NO idea that they do.

Just me kissing a dude on the mouth and letting him giving me head will give me genital herpes. It is what it is tbh.

Or you could suck on your own finger and masturbate right afterwards can lead to you getting it as well.

You didn’t do anything wrong. This could’ve happened to anyone.

Also, just go to the doctor and explain exactly what you just said to me, CALMLY and it will be fine.

I know you’re pissed, upset and very disappointed in yourself. But you are doing okay, babe.

I can reassure you that you have nothing to panic about. If it was something else, I would be more concern. But it’s just herpes.

As far as your future sexual partners … anyone that’s educated with functioning brain cells won’t trip over it.

11 notes · View notes

ladyladuga · 2 years

Text

“History is written by victors” or ... Korn, Gun and the “Truth”

They say, you can’t judge about something without having all the facts, in this case meaning hearing both sides.

I admit I really suspected Gun to be the killer of Porsche’s parents, but now I’m more prone to believe it was actually Korn. Let me try to explain, why.

First I like to establish that I will do it on the basis of Porsche’s memory being true. Yes, as Korn said, Porsche was just a child and might not remember much. But the few things he remembers I take as what really happened.

That being said, lets get into it.

So, what did Porsche remember? Hearing his father saying ...

and seeing two men (I don’t know if Porsche knew who they were at the time) being with his father. One sitting opposite him and one standing at the side of the table. And I don’t think I have to point out who is who.

But I want to point out something else ... the “Shut up” that for me was clearly Korn’s voice. Why is it important? I circle back to that later.

So was there anything else Porsche remembered? Oh yes ...

Now let’s have a look at the story Korn told ... He accuses Gun to be the killer, but in Korn’s version they have switched places and that doesn’t fit Porsche’s memory.

And he still makes Porsche believe that his mum is dead and that she killed herself over the death of his father.

If Korn really cared about Porsche (and also Porchay) why would he still try to wriggle his way out of telling the truth? Why didn’t he replace Thee if he knew he was a gambler and couldn’t really take care of two kids?

I mean, Korn has a lot of men at his disposal, there had to be one that would’ve taken care of the boys the right way without putting them through too much hardship, right? But he didn’t, because everyone (even his own son(s), I guess) where only chess pieces in his personal game.

And the heart attack at exactly the right time? How convenient so that he didn’t have to answer more questions about the matter.

And the doctor who told the family that he died of poison, I’m now sure, he was just ordered to do so and that there was never any poison or even a real heart attack. Korn planned what happened next, he knew Gun would seize the opportunity to try to take over. And that Kinn would suspect Gun (or the minor family in general) to be responsible for poisoning his father. Again, Korn used everyone to his own advantage. He was even willing to accept the deaths of many of his people, including his own son. Father of the year, right? 🤬

And that is exactly the problem ... if you only know one side of the story, it’s easy for the teller to paint someone as the villain. But nothing is ever that black and white.

Anyway, let’s take a look at Gun’s side of the story. Here Korn and Gun are exactly placed the way Porsche remembers and also the same words were said by Pat. (ok maybe a little bit different than before, but I think that’s just the translation ... it has still the same meaning)

And even if that isn’t in Porsche’s memory I just wanted to use it, bc it looks like Gun didn’t know, but Korn surely did.

And there we have it ... Korn didn’t want Pat to tell more things no one besides Korn and his father knew about.

So he stopped him the only way he could make sure he couldn’t tell another soul. And tbh, Gun reacts far too shocked about it like he didn’t expect that outcome at all.

So, we have all three sentences from Porsche’s memory in Gun’s story, but none of them in Korn’s. Ofc you could argue that Porsche’s memory is faded, distorted or whatever and that he doesn’t remember correctly. But why would he remember things a certain way then when no one ever told him before Thee came out with it? When no one ever tried to manipulate that memory, bc no one seemed to know he had it? I’m not even sure if Korn or Gun realized that Porsche was even there. To me it seemed he was playing hide and seek, bc the voice telling: “Go hide. Run away.” was in my opinion little Porsche’s own voice and he didn’t sound scared. He might just have stayed in the cupboard bc his dad and two other men came in and he didn’t dare to come out.

So in the end, Gun couldn’t use those sentences bc he knew that Porsche remembered it this way. He didn’t know, so he in my opinion he was just telling the story how it really happened.

Oh and two more things that make Gun’s version more believable to me. First: Gun is far too angry about this than it could be just acting.

Second: The way he almost broke down seeing Nampueng again, makes me believe that Gun really thought she was dead, that she was shot by Korn when he was outside the house that day. Remember how Vegas said his father had a picture of her in his office? First I thought it might be there out of guilt, as a reminder of what he’d done. But now I think it’s there because he loved her.

And the story Korn tells afterwards about Gun shooting Pat and that they both took Nampueng home, that Gun molested her and that’s why she took pills to kill herself, was just another twist for Porsche and Kinn to hear. To make Gun look like the only bad guy here. What was it what Gun said? “You just want all the power.” And I think that’s what all of this is about in the end. And before Gun could tell more about his side of the story, Korn conveniently (for him) killed him and probably justified it with what Gun did by coming to his house starting a war. A war Korn wanted to get rid of the competition and to take all the power exactly as Gun said. Bc Korn might have never factored in that Kinn and Porsche would fall in love (I guess he only wanted Porsche with the major family so that he would side with them when push comes to shove), but it played into his hands. With Gun dead and Vegas being “out of order” he could give the power over the minor family to Porsche, well knowing now that Porsche would never in a million years go against Kinn. And that means absolute power to Korn.

I still have a few thoughts on Nampueng: Did she voluntarily take pills to kill herself bc of the traumatic events? Or did someone else give her pills on purpose, so that she would lose part of her mental health or even brain functions? Sorry, but the thought never left me that she might be kind of sedated with certain drugs for all this years. Bc how can you say you wanted to protect someone and then lock them up for what? 17 years? That’s not protection, that’s imprisonment, bc no matter how big and luxurious a prison is, it is still a prison. I would call it ... having total control over someone who otherwise might derail your plans. If Korn would really have been interested in protecting Nampueng and her sons, he could’ve sent them somewhere far away without anyone knowing and without anyone ever finding them. He made Gun believe the whole family was dead (remember how surprised Gun seemed that still 2 of them - and I guess he meant Porsche and Porchay - were left?), so what would have prevented him to send them away. Hell, this man is rich enough to even get them out of the country and still provide them with a good, quiet life.

So my conclusion (after that long post ... sorry for that) is: No, I don’t believe your story is true Korn, but now there’s no one left who could contradict it. Besides Nampueng ... and if there will ever be a season 2 I’d love if something would come from her side bc i can’t shake the feeling that she might just pretend to not remember anything to protect herself.

#KinnPorsche #kinnporsche episode 14 #korn theerapanyakul #gun theerapanyakul #one day the truth will be out there

9 notes · View notes

wetbloodworm · 1 year

Text

@twilishark I WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO under a cut b/c i talk so fucking much i’m so sorry

andrew and zephyr are the main characters of my storyline i call AIverse, a general vaguely sci-fi storyline taking place in an alternate future-ish world that's further long technologically. robots are commonplace with androids specifically being the absurdly fancy sports cars of robots because god you really don’t need your computer/smart phone/whatever to look as humanlike as possible, y'know? it's so unnecessary. but they're out there and rich bitches love them.

an important thing to note in this universe is that true AI, where the robot is truly sentient and sapient, has not been achieved. people and companies are racing to figure it out and there’s some real advanced programming out there, but not true AI. i borrow mass effect terminology here and use VI as the term for what HAS been achieved, which covers all levels of non-sentient/sapient robots.

anyway, andrew works at a robotics company that produces androids as part of the quality assurance team. basically he interviews/tests androids that are showing behavioral oddities that aren't immediately obvious fixes. finds patterns, runs logic tests, etc to narrow down the problem so the programming team can isolate the fucked up code or whatever quicker. he's kinda like half IT half robot psychologist.

zephyr, meanwhile, is an android that, through plot trickery, is activated and realizes almost immediately that he’s an AI. functions normally and knows what his programming is but can make choices outside of it and has independent thoughts and feelings etc. which has him freaked out from like minute one of being alive because he knows he's not supposed to be like this and doesn't know what that means for him, but like, it's probably not good if anyone finds out! they likely won’t jump to thinking he’s AI and will just know that he’s defective somehow. and tbh if they DO believe he's AI that doesn't feel like it'll be great to deal with either? so his plan is to just. pretend like he's a normal VI so he doesn't get caught. forever, maybe?? he doesn't know! what are his options here!! doesn't help that the most likely outcome of being discovered as defective is getting reset and reprogrammed, which to him feels like a kind of death.

only zeph can't keep up the act forever, or very long at all, because he's emotional and doesn't like being told what to do and he's VERY STRESSED OUT. gets sent to andrew fairly quickly into testing because he's acting MOSTLY right but there are hesitations and tics and odd expressions and it's all very weird. andrew can't quite pin the problem during the interviews, there's just something off, so he keeps pressing and prying and testing because that's his job, while zeph is trying SO HARD to be pleasant and helpful while he's cracking more and more under the pressure and becoming increasingly sure he's going to be die.

this culminates in zeph breaking down during the last interview and just word-vomiting an explanation of what's going on with him and begging andrew not to turn in his report and get him reset. andrew is understandably very taken aback by this, and tries to do a little more gentle prying to try to get a better understanding, but zeph is extremely upset by this point and can only be so helpful tbh. whatever’s going on, this is a very human reaction and a lot of this is outside of what VI are typically capable of, and more than anything andrew has someone terrified and crying in his office and his instinct is to comfort him and try to calm him down. it’s a bit hard to believe that he has an honest to god AI here, and i don’t think that’d be his first thought, or one he’d entertain too long without zeph nervously suggesting it himself, but WHATEVER zeph is, again. he’s scared and he views being reset as dying and andrew’s not a fucking monster, y’know?

so andrew doesn’t turn his report in, and instead eventually his plan is to empty out his savings and get a loan from a friend to purchase zeph himself while raising as little suspicion as possible re: why he's so intent on having this specific android who hasn't passed quality inspection.

so! the plan works, and andrew's got potentially the world's first AI hiding out in his spare room. the rest of the storyline is mostly a play space where the two of them try to lay low while zeph deals with the various hangups he's got being The Way He Is and andrew deals with zeph being a bit of a moody brat to interact with sometimes once he's comfortable enough thinking that andrew probably isn't going to sell him to the highest bidder since, y’know, highly desired tech. eventually they smooch even if they're awkward about it at first.

i've had these two since early high school and the details of their story has changed over the years but i like where they've ended up! i've been on an AIverse kick lately so there might be more art and general meta while i'm in the zone and over time, but otherwise i've got just a couple posts under my AIverse tag since this is a relatively new blog. i might go dig up some old art over the years for a nostalgia post if i remember i want to do that lmao

#AIverse tag

2 notes · View notes

thasorns · 1 year

Note

hey, babe. as someone who put off their own gastro issues for so long and ended up having to get her gallbladder removed, highly recommend going to the doctor. my pain is finally gone, and i’m so glad to be without it. i feel sooo much better. i know how easy it is to just pass things off, but take care of yourself!! you deserve to feel good!!! -madeline (earthfluuke)

Hey Madeline!! Hi hi I hope you’re doing great? This sounds like a painful procedure but I’m glad that you’re feeling better and without any pain. It probably wasn’t an easy decision to make the step ☺️ I know what you mean and everyone should feel good about themselves even though it’s not that simple especially when you’re scared of doctors or more about the outcome…tbh. The first step I’ll take to finally go and let myself get checked out to ease my worries :) thank you for your kind words, it really calms me a bit 💕 I hope you a wonderful night 🌸🧡

#asked #earthfluuke #it’s kinda nice to hear that I’m not the only one who struggles/d with health issues #take care of yourself and stay hydrated ♥️#(now it’s kinda hypocrite of me to use my usual tag when I’m the one who doesn’t take care of herself 😅)#madeline tag ☀️

2 notes · View notes

billfarrah · 2 years

Note

At this point, I need the trailer to get a feel of this season tbh. I know the trailer for s1 was not the best, but I have hope that now that we know the characters the trailer would make more sense to us (?).

Idk I am scared lmao also there's this person on Twitter that says they have seen the whole season and it sucks so now I am even more nervous (although my rational mind says that they are probably a troll, but there's always that possibility I guess).

I guess my biggest fear are the character characterization (like I don't care for the love triangle if it helps Simon development), like are we gonna understand the characters actions/mistakes or is it gonna seem ooc/just done for the drama? Also how much are we gonna spend with the Wilmon relationship? Are we gonna develop that organically? This show is mainly a romance (imo) so it would feel like a mishap to me if we neglect the central relationship... I guess that's why I also want the trailer, to see how many Simon/Wille scenes they put there. I don't know, I am a little stressed lmao.

Thank you for answering these asks btw, you are great ^^

Thanks, tbh this fandom has been a really unpleasant place these past few days so I’m just trying to stay respectful and neutral. I understand where everyone is at. We’re very strongly attached to this series and we want to see the story progress in a way that feels true to the series, and there’s always risks that we might not like the outcome.

I’m not above feeling stressed out. I’ll be honest with you, when i first read the article, I freaked out a bit. I wasn’t sure if we were supposed to be seeing it and I can’t lie, confirmation of this love triangle did feel a bit defeating to me, not because I didn’t think it could be done well but because it has been talked about soooooo much over the past year that I was like fuck… there it is. I knew the reaction would be bad, and welp… it has been. But I don’t wanna contribute to the nastiness and negativity. It’s honestly so ugly and just feels so deflating and exhausting. I don’t know how people get any joy out of being angry and bitter all the time; it genuinely makes me feel like shit.

I’ve seen the Twitter troll and I’m not gonna talk about that because there’s no point. If they’re telling the truth and they’ve seen it and I hated it, I don’t know why they feel the need to ruin it for everyone else and act like they’re a martyr and “saving” everyone from disappointment. No, theyre just being a cunt.

As far as the characters being OOC, I’m not really worried about that. We don’t fully know these characters yet. We’ve known them for only 6 episodes and for very limited circumstances. I just hope the choices they make make sense for the story. Yeah

#yr season 2 spoilers

4 notes · View notes

utterlyinevitable · 2 years

Note

I know every MC is different and they rank differently their job/career and their feelings for Ethan in their priorities list, so I’m here with a few questions, if you don’t mind :)

If given the chance, would your MC have started dating Ethan after their Miami kiss?

Did she (like Ethan) think that the competition for the spot in the DT made it difficult for them to be together? And, If dropping out of the competition would mean being able to be with him, would she do it?

If there was no reset and no Amazon, and they start dating after book 1, would this take a toll on her (career wise)? Given her already stained reputation after the ethics trial and all the work-related issues from book 2.

In your HC, did people care about Ethan and your MC’s relationship? Did it affect their reputation? Were her career and skills ever tied to Ethan?

Thanks so much for thinking of me & my beans <33 most of these only apply to Becca so I'll answer for her and Ethan

If given the chance, would your MC have started dating Ethan after their Miami kiss?

I think Becca would have liked the option instead of the horrific rejection before things could have gotten good. For her, when they crossed that line, she didn't think about what would happen afterwards. Her track record would infer that she'd be down for casually doing this again and again and try seeing one another without strings. Ethan, being the big brained bean he is, knew that wouldn't be sustainable for them and nipped it before they could combust well before getting started.

Him rejecting her then set the path for them to truly fall for one another later.

No? Tbh she didn't really think of it in that way at all. The competition was just part of her job at that point. Ethan was already her supervisor/mentor and would still be responsible for her even if she did get on the DT.

Either outcome they were doomed to be complicated. And Ethan wouldn't let her drop out of the competition anyway - after all the man extended his deadline by 5 minutes just to get her application...

In my HC Ethan and Becca were secretly seeing one another in the time after the trial and him trotting off to Brazil. If Ethan wasn't him and scared and much more romantic that early on and they were officially together...

Becca's career would definitely take a toll. She wouldn't be on the DT and Ethan would make sure she's transferred to another attending to oversee her. I wrote a longer bit about it here.

People, especially colleagues and esteemed medical persons, would not take her seriously. They already talk behind her back about ruining Ethan's career and trapping him. He also took a hit for having to take a step back in his role at EB so there wasn't that big of an HR issue. Her reputation would only get worse and even though my girl is strong and resilient she wouldn't be able to take it. No career of her dreams, constantly watching over her shoulder, and a thorn in her relationship would drive her mad. She'd run. Her and Ethan would break up. And he'd blame himself...

In your HC, did people care about Ethan and your MC’s relationship? Did it affect their reputation? Were her career and skills ever tied to Ethan?

People talked incessantly about Ethan and Becca when they finally went public. It wasn't that they cared about their collective happiness, it was that they wanted to talk shit about the girl taking Dr Dickmedown off the market.

Dating Ethan publicly towards the end of her residency didn't have much affect on her career reputation, mostly because she's already proved herself in the community. Yes there were people that speculated that he gave her all her stepping stones but they couldn't prove it. By keeping her at arms length that early on he really did save their relationship.

Becca's career was tied to Ethan. But that was her choice. She chose to grow with him and by his side and intertwine their lives in every way possible.

As for Odette, people weren't shocked that she and Ethan were dating. Honestly they thought they got together long before because of their close relationship. No one could speak badly about Odette because she was just so delightful and hot and smart and its really a toss up on how many colleagues had a crush on Ode vs Ethan. Obviously the beginning of her medical career is tied to Ethan. But after she started running the clinic and making waves in her own right no one really compared the two anymore. They're EBs power couple and everyones forever proud to know them.

#ethan x mc #becca x ethan #ethan ramsey #open heart #choices open heart #askboxed

5 notes · View notes

soda-boots · 6 months

Text

Week of 6 November ‘23

Tbh I feel a bit embarrassed that I keep getting crushes on people who end not liking me back or just not seeing it going anywhere romantically or just wanting to be friends. They always go on about how I’m a “really great guy”, and Max told me I was a “catch” to make me feel better. But I don’t feel like much of a catch. I just feel like a failure. Why can’t I seem to spark with someone? I really do like Ellis. Why can’t that just be enough ? I guess I can’t make people like me the way I want them to. That hurts.

I thought things were going quite well honestly and I hoped we could take things further. I thought the problem with Jack was I went too fast physically and we just couldn’t work. With Ellis, I wanted him to make a move, and I didn’t want to be too forward and make a move myself. I didn’t want to come off as too eager. I’m thinking of the song “so what now” by Renee Rapp. A lot of it encapsulates how I feel at the moment. He says for now it’s best if we stayed friends. I don’t want to be delusional and think oh it could amount to something more. I mean it could, and I can hope that it does but I don’t know really. The balls in his court.

Monday Morning (6/11/2023)

I feel physically ill from this emotional torment. I’m so tired and my eyes hurt, and I’m shivering and fidgeting sometimes. Very much a disproportionate reaction to something to small I guess. He just said he wants to stay friends for now, and while I guess I feared things would go that way (I think I even mentioned it in an earlier post ) I still hoped it wouldn’t. Speaking of mentioning it earlier, my writing always ages so badly. Why can’t I help but foreshadow the least satisfactory outcome.

I’m just a little scared that this won’t go anywhere. The thought leaves me desolate. However, we have our funny moments like me falling off the wooden holds to see you taking photos of me or criticising the lack of “dynamicness” of archery. You listening to my show means a lot to me. Even though we haven’t known each other that long you mean a lot to me.

- Hänsel und Gretel (14/10/2023)

I’ve been loving the album "I get into trouble" by maple glider as a result.

9 Nov 2023

Ellis hasn't replied to my texts in quite a while now - so the last text I've gotten from him was from Monday (with him replying to my reply). I've sent a few texts since then with no response since, but he still watches my stories, so maybe he's not ghosting me (but also maybe he is). It just hurts tbh. I may be jumping to conclusions but I'd really hate for things to end this way. It's one thing for things to not go the way I wanted them to, and it's another to be ignored (and maybe have a friendship end - I really hope not). I haven't cried in a few days, but I feel one coming on right now. Haleemah thinks I should move on, and that's true. They said it'd be weird if I kept texting them, and I agree. So I have to end communication from my side at least, at least for a few months (or until he texts back. Whichever bloody comes first). I can't just stop thinking about him, that's impossible, but as time goes things may remind me less and less of him. It's a bit hard though, the film camera I own was partially influenced by him; me starting hockey too (honestly the irony of me crying over the initial message right before I head to the hockey game will never not be lost on me. It's like it was written in a romance film. Love/hate my life). I so want to see and talk to him again, but that might not be the best for now and I don't want to seem pestering. If he doesn't want to talk to me then maybe I should reach out. I hate this whole notion, but I gotta put me first. And it's not like I can't heal with him there (I did it with Jack), but this is probably different. I've liked Ellis for way longer...

#university #journal

0 notes

flesh · 10 months

Note

Hey hopefully this isn’t too personal but can you talk a little bit about pregnancy and childbirth and what it was like for you? Like how it made you feel, if you feel like there have been any permanent changes to your body and mind, if you delivered naturally or had a c section and what recovery from that was like, how long it took to feel normal again, IF you felt normal again, etc.

I really want to have a kid someday and I want the kid to have my genes because I’m a biologist and fascinated by it. But I am absolutely scared shitless of pregnancy and childbirth (and morally opposed to surrogacy). I used to think I’d just get a c section and that’d void the birth part of my anxiety but then I had my gallbladder removed. It was a keyhole surgery, so minimally invasive, but it hurt like HELL so now I can’t imagine how miserable recovery from something like a c section would be. We’re the same age and most women I’ve spoken to about it are much older so I’d love to get some perspective from someone my age

tbh my pregnancy was a nightmare, i had hyperemesis and had to get a picc line because i lost like 20 pounds in 2 months from puking nonstop, but it went away around 4 months in. during the first trimester though i was so sick my ex would have to wash my hair for me. once you get to the third trimester just walking up 4 stairs makes u wanna pass out and die LOL.

birth is horrifying, i had a c-section because she WOULD NOT come out, my body was straight up refusing to dilate or do anything to push a baby out. i think i was literally so scared my nervous system would not allow me to give birth lol. i was induced and it wouldn't work. a c-section is pretty scary and healing is really painful.

i hate to scare you but i swear to god like all that really matters is how worth it it is. my daughters the greatest thing that'll ever happen to me and she makes my life and the world a better place, i'd go through something 10000x worse, scarier and more painful 100 times over if i knew that the outcome would be someone just like my girl every time. i will have more kids some day. make sure you choose a guy who won't abuse u (rare)

1 note · View note

twitterthots · 1 year

Text

sometimes i don’t tell people something bc i don’t want to have their expectations projected onto me .. like i want to preview the outcome without having anyone else have immediate input into every decision i make

like i’m really trying to muster up the strength to put myself out there and get actual friends outside of the family unit (i.e. people my age with more similar interests) but i’m so scared . . .

tbh i’m scared of every outcome i can think of .. bc that means something will happen and i guess i’m scared of change to the point where i’m refusing to move my life in either a positive or negative direction .. so i’m just stagnant

damn i guess i want to change.

0 notes

wintergojo · 2 years

Note

Hi this is my first ask ever so I'm not even sure if I'm doing this right hehe XD I really love your dad!gojo and baby seishi works! Could you maybe do one where baby seishi gets a cold and gojo and reader try their best to calm down since it's his first time getting sick? Thank you!

omg anon this was actually one of the things on my list of drabble ideas ^0^ i was so excited to write when i saw this! :DD and can i just say i feel honored to be the first one to receive ur ask and that u love my fics? 😭😭 and dw there's really no format for them :33 (aside from being polite hehe)

i’m also sorry this was mainly focused on fever instead of cold, it’s bc i read that colds in babies normally has fever as the symptom and the actual cold starts after 3 days (although i cut it short here) but i still hope u enjoy this! 😚😚

cold cold cold (dad!gojo x mom!reader)

tags: tbh idk what genre this is (hurt/comfort? angst? fluff? help me pls), slice of life, just bby gojo getting sick and his parents worrying, mentions of sickness, death

wc: 2.9k (what drabble)

navi

additional note: i was actually debating whether to write seishiro as 5 months old or 13 months, but i thought 5 months would be better since they would be very new dumb parents & seishi is kinda more vulnerable at that age bc his immune system's still weak (makes them more scared) hehe

how did it come to this?

yesterday seishiro was still his energetic 5-month-old self, actively attempting to roll around and lift his head as both his parents encouraged him on. he even had enough strength to try sitting up without any support.

yes, you and your husband took him outside in the middle of winter. but it was just for 20-30 minutes to get some fresh air on the balcony.

you both made sure he was wearing layers and layers of clothes to protect him from the cold and the wind. satoru even made sure your little baby was wearing the viridescent mitten maki gave, a cute tangerine-colored bonnett nobara gifted, a pink fluffy earmuffs given by yuuji, an indigo bootie chosen by megumi, and a very thick and warm baby blue blanket you spent your whole pregnancy knitting.

yet the next morning both of you were woken up at four a.m. by the crying sound of the boy, a drastic difference from how he usually wakes up at seven a.m. without any fuss. just a toothless smile showing his tongue and a little flailing upon seeing his parents hover their face over his bassinet.

since the cot was on your side, satoru allowed you to get the baby and was about to fall back asleep when he heard you curse under your breath upon checking seishiro.

the sorcerer instantly gets up and scoots over to your side, slowly getting filled with anxiety.

the room has no light in it except for the night lamp you turned on, but satoru could see the worry starting to brew in your eyes.

"i think he has a fever, 'toru. he feels hotter than usual. what do we do? what do we do? we haven’t learned anything about this, we couldn’t even attend parenting classes, we’re not prepared at all, what if… what if–" you started panicking, lifting the crying seishiro off the crib and holding him close to your chest as you tried to shush him.

your husband frantically moves his arms around the both of you, not knowing where to put his hands nor who to hold.

"deep breaths, baby. we read about this in parenting books, remember?"

"who cares about those stupid books?! just hurry up and tell me what to do. ohmygod ohmyg–” you were cut off by seishiro crying even louder, prompting you to shift your focus back on him and settle him into a more comfortable position. “shh, baby. i'm sorry. mama and dada are here, okay? don't cry."

satoru stills. racking his brain to try and remember the contents of the chapter 'my infant is sick for the first time and i'm a shitty parent, what's next?'

he can't.

his mind is filled with too many worrisome thoughts over the possible outcomes of his son's fever to even recall what he read.

your husband pulls himself back to reality. no. he needs to think of what to do now to help his wife and his little dumpling. he refuses to even think about how this could possibly end badly.

shoko.

“i’ll call shoko! she’ll know what to do.”

the father grabs his phone from the nightstand and swiftly dials the doctor. his former classmate will most likely shout at him for calling at this hour and frankly, satoru doesn’t really care. the promise of free booze will be enough to appease her.

he waits for her to pick up while nervously pacing around the room, eyes never leaving his normally docile son he’s never been so afraid to touch. the in-depth thermography his six eyes can see is more than enough for him to tell how high the boy’s temperature is from the color vermillion spreading through his little forehead to the bright orange hue in his neck; a contrast from his mother’s pale orange face and blue cheeks.

satoru flicks the room’s light switch on and turns up the thermostat. it doesn’t matter if he or you gets too hot, seishiro needs to sweat more.

shoko answers at the eight ring, her voice obviously laden with sleep. “it’s freaking four o’clock in the morning. what do you want?”

“seishiroissickandwedontknowwhattodotellushurryup.” he all but let out all at once, pacing faster as he anticipates shoko’s directions.

“huh? what did you say? and is that seishiro i hear crying in the background?”

your husband takes a deep breath. he’s letting his anxiety get the best of him.

“seishiro has a fever and he won’t stop crying. we don’t know what to do.”

the white-haired sorcerer hears some shuffling in the background and the click of a switch. “have you taken his temperature?”

“no. we kinda focused more on making him stop crying.”

shoko’s sigh makes its way to his ears before her instructions for satoru on what to do. the man intently listens, asking some questions in between and engraving every word his friend says to his brain.

when the call ends, he sees you looking at him with hopeful eyes. “what did she say?”

“shoko said we should check his temperature first. i'll get the rectal thermometer, honey. hold on for me, okay?" he leans closer to you and the boy in your arms before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

he then slowly raises his large hand to caress the back of seishiro's small head filled with little tufts of white hair and flinches upon feeling how warm and sweaty the 5-month-old is. he feels like he just touched a metal park bench in the middle of summer.

nevertheless, the father still presses his lips onto his son's forehead and mutters 'wait for dada, okay, dumpling?' in an attempt to soothe him before abruptly standing straight and darting his head around the dim room, trying to remember where you keep the rectal thermometer.

"we keep one in the bathroom's medicine cabinet!" he hears you urgently whisper-shout amidst your son's woes.

your husband instantly teleports into the ensuite bathroom in a hurry, not even bothering to walk. he comes back in less than a second and sees you gently laying seishiro on his back, slowly unzipping his furry snorlax onesie as you sing him lullabies you both know calms the baby down.

he recalls shoko's words. wipe the tip of the rectal thermometer with cotton and rubbing alcohol. make sure it's clean and dry.

the father's moves are swift and accurate, not permitting himself to make even one small mistake as he follows the doctor's instructions. put a small amount of lubricant on the tip. ("what kind of lubricant?") anything but butter. if you have petroleum jelly that'll do.

satoru dips his knee onto the bed while holding the newly cleaned thermometer and vaseline before tenderly stroking his son’s head as he joins you in singing. seishiro's cries were instantly reduced into light sobs, puffy cerulean irises instead focusing on his father as he calmed down.

you finish taking out the baby’s feet and hands from his clothes while your husband lightly dips his hand from the vaseline container to get a small amount of the product. without satoru telling you anything, you softly raise both of your son’s thick little legs together, exposing his bottom to the father.

just when he was about to insert the thermometer, seishiro's cries once again resonate throughout the room, expression twisted in what looks like agony as he babbles and tries squirming his legs held up by his mother.

your husband effectively halts his own movements, hesitation visible in his eyes as his shaky hand continues hovering in front of your baby’s naked buttocks.

"you won't hurt him, 'toru. it's okay." your calm voice makes its way to him and he sees you gazing at him with eyes teeming with reassurance.

he takes a deep breath.

the sooner i get this done the faster my dumpling can feel better.

after that 4:00 a.m. what-to-do crisis, shoko sent both you and your husband a list on what to do and what not to do with your sick baby. one of the things on top was to give seishiro an acetaminophen to lower his temperature and pedialyte to avoid dehydration which—despite the abundance of all sorts of pain reliever medicine in your home—you do not have.

so at the crack of dawn in the middle of a snowy winter, your husband ran to the nearest pharmacy wearing his evergreen silk velvet pajamas and his 70,400 yen cream-colored gucci off the grid sandals to get probably everything the pharmacist recommended (judging by his baggage when he came back panting before dropping everything in bed) from medications to cooling patches to suppositories.

the doctor also said to bathe seishiro in lukewarm water and change him into lighter clothes (which you did, dressing him up in a short-sleeved romper) with a reminder to not bundle him up in blankets (you mentally note to give the doctor a generous gift when you see her), as well as to monitor his temperature regularly (which your husband did like a maniac, unbuttoning his son’s crotch every 30 minutes and sticking the thermometer to his backside to the point that you had to reprimand him).

you and satoru never left him alone, nor could you both manage to even be at least one meter away from him. right after his morning bath and giving him his fluids, you lulled seishiro back to sleep right in the middle of you and your husband as you watched him the whole time, monitoring the slumbering baby for any signs of discomfort.

when his lunch time came, the generally big-eater seishiro refused to drink your boobie milk nor the baby formula when he was so eager to suck in the morning (satoru was very jealous). shoko said it was normal for him to lose appetite and not force him to eat but still, you couldn’t help but worry.

“baby?” you hear your husband’s wary tone call you out from the living room while you’re chopping some carrots. you turn to your back and try your best to peek on the kitchen’s cased opening to get a look at your husband crouching down in front of seishiro lying on the couch. “what is it, ‘toru?”

his voice was still cautious when he responded, “i think our dumpling’s getting sick again?”

you dropped the knife, rushing to satoru’s side before crouching down as you touch your baby’s forehead. he wasn’t as warm as he was roughly eight hours ago although there’s some clear snot dripping down his nose. he’s looking at the both of you with cerulean eyes full of contempt, as if he absolutely hates his parents for taking him outside yesterday and putting him in his current misery.

"why does our son look like that?" the man on your left asks, slowly raising his hands to get the 5-month-old's mucus with his fingers and wiping them on your apron (you don't notice). seishiro glares at him even more upon seeing what his father did.

you answer his query with another question, "you think he hates us?" you too then lifted your hand before straightening your index and folding the other four. at this, your baby’s frown instantly smoothened, transforming into his usual smiling face as he raised his small appendaged and held the finger in his still-warm fist.

your husband hummed. “i don’t think so,” he tried copying what you just did, but seishiro just looked at his father with disdain and tightened his hold on your finger. satoru pouted and dejectedly muttered, “probably just his dada.”

you lovingly caress the man’s back in comfort before sighing and wiping another blob of mucus dripping from your baby’s nose. “i think he has a cold now,” you sigh as you continue, nuzzling your face into your husband’s neck and whispering, “i don’t know what to do anymore. i’m getting so worried about him…”

your baby seemed to have heard and understood your words, judging by his tiny little hand gripping your index with a little more force and a whimper falling out of his lips. his teary eyes became focused on his mother as the corners of his mouth turned down and his eyebrow furrowed. he also started babbling aggressively.

satoru rests his chin above your head, wrapping his right arm around your form before moving his hand up and down your torso. "i'll call shoko again, baby. it doesn't seem bad this time."

"thank you, 'toru. i'm going back to the kitchen." you give him a peck on his cheek before raising yourself a little and bending over your baby who still refuses to let your finger go. "mama's going to cook, okay? dada will take care of seishi."

over your son's nine day of sickness, you and your husband acted like freaks continually obsessing over your baby. you were two nervous first-time parents riddled with anxiety, fearing for the countless possible outcomes of his sickness, especially the worst of them all—death.

you remember clearly how terrified you were on the first day, when seishiro's fever was 38.8°C and he was hot and fussy and obviously in pain. you were so, so scared. you were sure your husband was too.

seishiro was back on his bassinet located at the side of your bed, asleep after all the ruckus that occurred at the break of dawn. your husband was sitting on the edge of the bed, intently observing him; his six eyes pushing themselves over the limit as he traced every surface of his dumpling's face and body for any unusual signs.

you on the other hand was inside the crib, lying on your side with your upper arm flat on the mattress, head resting on your upper arm. your left hand was softly caressing the boy's smooth warm face, hoping it would keep him calm until his usual wake up time. you wanted to hug him so badly, to let your little child sleep comfortably and safely on your chest, to hold him safe and sound until you were sure he was fine (you were doing your best to restrain yourself as it might be dangerous for babies to not sleep on their back).

your little seishiro was so, so precious. you’d give your life for his safety.

“babyy, go back here and rest. we have a long day later," you hear your husband whisper as he patted the mattress, before he sat up and walked over to your side to plant a kiss on your forehead. he continued hovering over the crib, large hand caressing your face just like what you were doing to your son.

you relax in his touch, eyes closing as you enjoy his loving touch, "i'm fine, 'toru. you sleep. i'll watch our baby."

satoru sighs, bending over the cot to lift you up bridal style. "no can do, my lovely wife. just leave our baby to me! i promise i'll wake you up if something's wrong."

when your husband laid you down on the bed, you gripped his pajamas and voiced out what you had been feeling since you touched seishiro two hours ago.

"i'm scared, satoru." your voice was merely a whisper, you wouldn't be surprised if your husband didn't hear it.

but of course he did. he always does. whether you shout, talk, whisper, or say nothing at all, satoru will always work his eardrums over the edge listening to everything you had to say.

he pulled you closer to his muscular chest and rested his chin on the top of your head, hands running back and forth to your spine comfortingly. "i know, baby. i know."

hot tears started to uncontrollably stream down your cheeks, instantly drenching your husband's 200,200 yen olivia von halle pajama shirt as you securely wrapped your arms around his waist. “i am so, so scared.”

and now, after countless sleepless nights combined with your son’s wailing and trash bags full of used wet wipes, your baby is back on the balcony basking in the warmth and sunlight the early morning offers.

his father stabilizes him as he tries sitting on the man’s lap, flailing his hands excitedly and looking up at satoru with wide expectant eyes when he succeeds (though your husband still has both of his hands at the boy’s back as a support). the older man gasps. “you can sit now, huh? last week you were just trying to roll. you’re growing up fast, aren’t you? hm? who do you take after? is it dada? or is it mama?”

seishiro babbles in response and satoru nods repeatedly as if in agreement. “that’s right, dumpling. you take after dada, don’t you?”

the glass window opens, and your form holding a tray full of food and baby formula comes into view. “don’t twist his words, ‘toru. our son said he takes after his mama,” you placed the wood onto the table and sat at your husband’s side, lifting the baby off his father’s lap and cradling him into your chest, “isn’t that right, hmm, baby?”

your son’s face contorted for a moment, taking his momentum to adorably sneeze before babbling excitedly at his mother.

you and your husband froze, heads turning to stare at each other as you both rack your brains.

“we really shouldn’t have taken him outside.”

ps. idk what happened but i was actually planning for this to be fluffy 😭😭 it kinda got all sentimental

thank you so much for reading!! 😚 interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <33

599 notes · View notes