#tagging one piece because that's my hypothesis

[maskedkara]

I am very confused! Why is there an aggressive-looking pirate clown on the side of the website? Is this that One Piece anime or something? I'm not even scared of clowns and I am so uncomfortable!

#clown #one piece #tagging one piece because that's my hypothesis #confused #out of the loop

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 13/05

@garnetduodecim asked: I always assumed jack spent the first 4 hours in the troll session, before destroying prospit, destroying Aradiabots, there were A LOT of them.

Maybe one of the Aradiabots got in a lucky shot, and was able to tag him with a weaker, non-God Tier variant of her freeze ability. That'd certainly at least delay him.

@morganwick asked: So, you were talking about Aradia "injuring" Vriska (post/704357246751113217) and comparing Vriska to a fairy godmother character (post/722100305374986240)?

@manorinthewoods asked: Serendipity Gospels is by Tamsyn Muir??? Really? Um, that's… hoo. That was one of the fanfics that I didn't end up liking. Might need to revisit that. Side note: 'Doc Scratch's School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents' feels more like something Locked Tomb-esque to me. So that's really… ah. ~LOSS (3/5/24)

I do wonder how similar the Gospels are to TLT's writing style.

Actually, can anyone confirm at what point the fic will be safe to read? I could just wait until I'm reading panels from after its publication date, but if I can check it out before, I will.

@abysswarlock asked: Ooh I’ve had this hypothesis for a while now but you just said something that made me lock in my guess that your classpect is Prince of Doom

The classpect wheel continues to turn!

I'm married to Doom for at least one of my 'sonas, but my Class is still up in the air, since we know even less about them than aspects.

@manorinthewoods asked: As a sort of Part 2 to that sylladex comment - how do you think the Sylladex works? Do you think that Homestuck will go into more detail about Sylladices, or do you think they'll fade into the background as different aspects of the magic system come to the fore? ~LOSS (24/4/24)

I think the latter is a lot more likely. Most aspects (lol) of Homestuck's magic system are there to serve the story first and foremost. As much as I'd love the comic to turn into a treatise on Sburb deeplore, it really doesn't feel like something Hussie would be interested in doing.

The story won't really suffer without, say, a detailed explanation of every facet of alchemy - I just really like speculating, because I'm all about shit like that.

@heliotropopause asked: What are your thoughts on Homestuck's translation convention(s)? As an example, take page 2251, line "Arrivederci, Megido.": Is she writing in something close enough to Earth English to scan as such to the reader, no translation necessary? Is Vriska saying a word in Troll Italian, which gets translated to Earth Italian? Is she expressing a sentiment in her usual language that's best translated as the word "arrivederci" as it's used in English? Has Doc Scratch secretly been translating all cross-species communication we've seen so far?

Vriska's arrivederci seems diegetic to me. If we inherited English from Alternia, it makes sense that some of our other languages might come from there too.

tl;dr: Troll Italy is real 🇮🇹

Anonymous asked: im not one to dip my toes into The Vriscourse but this one piece of analysis i really liked is that vriska is jealous of tavros, that hes had a much easier life compared to her and that hes allowed to be more of a wimp while she has to be the toughest fuck alive or else shell die

It's only one piece of the Vriska-Tavros puzzle, but it's an important one. She'll refuse to acknowledge it to the end, though, because the idea of being jealous of Tavros is disgusting to her.

@obscureaeguran asked: Are there any current theories of yours that you want to be wrong about?

Confident as I am in my Vriska death theory, I don't actually want to be right.

I really like Vriska's character, and I want to see her grow past the worldview that's preventing her from finding peace. I just don't think that's likely, given her current trajectory.

Anonymous asked: 'In what universe are 13-year-olds the people most qualified to make universes?' well per the beta version of homestuck (when hussie wanted to make the whole thing in flash before deciding against it) they were all going to be 10 instead, i think this is the much better option!

How young can we go, anyway?

AU where the Homestuck Babies aren't sent to Earth at all, and just start playing immediately.

@manorinthewoods asked: Have you played Deltarune? ~LOSS (9/4/24)

I have! I was actually replaying it on day one of the liveblog - hence the several references I made to it at the time. That feels forever ago, now.

@bladekindeyewear asked: Jade changed pretty drastically as a person after her dreamself died, if you think about it— demanding Feferi stop using her quirk in chat, standing up to the trolls for the first time, getting angry, to such an extent that Karkat was so surprised that it turned his opinion of her around completely in a single conversation. Even forcing a password system to keep talks linear instead of using cloud visions to do everything out of order. This doesn’t just feel to me like dream Jade being a “different individual”, it also feels like a metaphorical confrontation between her NEW self and her OLD self…

I think it's both.

Jade's been through a lot in the last couple of hours, and she really isn't the same girl who died on Prospit.

Being an oracle of Skaia's visions led to disaster. They showed her that John's Dream Self would awaken, leading her to believe she was finally going to meet him, but neglected to mention that she'd die the moment he opened his eyes - or that Prospit would die alongside her.

As a result, the new Jade seems to have made a decision to completely reject all prophetic information. She'll supply the minimum possible intel to her past self, and no more.

It's clear her Dream Self's death was a catalyst for a pretty dramatic shift in her worldview. She's angry - at the trolls, at herself, and at the world that betrayed her trust. She's tired of being jerked around, and her tumultuous emotions are making her rather testy. Basically, she's sick of all the bullshit, and she won't take it from anyone anymore.

Jadesprite has experienced the same catalyst, and has also come to mistrust the clouds, but for different reasons.

Jade rejects prophecies, in part, because she doesn't want to be deceived - but Jadesprite rejects them out of sheer hopelessness. She just doesn't care anymore.

They both have the same trauma, but they're dealing with it in very different ways - and at this point, I really do consider them to be different people.

And then on a metaphorical level, Jadesprite represents the 'silly', absent-minded childhood self that got Jade into this mess.

I think this taunt from Karkat hit very, very close to home for her, and I'm sure she associates the traits he described with her idyllic days on Prospit. It's part of why Dream Jade is such a perfect target for her fury.

@spyril4132 asked: i beg to differ on the entry item similarities only applying to prospit. iirc, rose shatters a bottle, and dave hatches an egg; both involve breaking open some sort of "shell", and neither are associated with a larger object, which could be seen as similar types of items. (while jade does break a piñata, she does so by shooting it, not by splitting it apart)

It's true that Rose and Dave's object's have some physical similarities, but John and Jade are both summoning the same tree, which feels like a much stronger connection.

Rose and Dave's entry cards also summoned auxiliary items, but they were different - a cabinet and bird, respectively. From where I'm sitting, the link between the two Prospit items does seem unique.

@skelekingfeddy asked: what herptiles would sally and sahlee have as their consorts? i feel like a monitor lizard would fit for one of them…maybe losas has like, turtle or tortoise consorts, what with their long-livedness and the wise sagely vibe and all.

I was thinking pretty much the same thing for Sahlee. Let's say they're Galápagos tortoises, because the Sage gives me Oogway vibes.

For Sally's Consorts, I'm going to get really funky and say they're a type of pterosaur.

@sparten4ever92 asked: The HS version of Megalovania is slept on way too much, the Vriska guitar adds so much to it that the UT version just doesn't have. @sanctferum asked: Finally, MeGaLoVania by Toby Fox (feat. Joren "Tensei" deBruin on guitar)! Would you say that Tavros had an…unpleasant chronological progression? (btw I do love the bit of Spider's Claw that plays during the Vriska segment, which is (obviously) unique to this Megalovania) also, the audiovisual style of homestuck flashes is just really cool imo @mimescantscream asked: You have no idea how long we've waited for the Megalovania

This version of Megalovania was a great choice for Aradia's finest hour - or at least, her finest hour so far.

It's moments like this which are why I decided to stop listening to the albums in advance. If I hadn't first heard Aradia's Megalovania in this flash, it wouldn't have hit the way it did.

@elkian asked: MEGALOVANIA TIME BAYBEEEE! Also, let's go back to that theory you had about Aradia getting more alive, because you NAILED it. @iris-in-the-dark-world asked: i am so excited to see aradia again and finally as herself :33<

She's fucking BACK, baby!

Seeing Aradia smiling for real after all this time is genuinely heartwarming - and with her time-stop attack, she's almost unkillable. It'd take some absolute nonsense to take Aradia out of the picture again, and I think she'll be sticking around for a long time. Hopefully forever.

@grippingtraverse asked: notice any similarities during megalovania between aradia vs. jack & sans vs. player? 0u0

The best I can come up with is that Aradia and Frisk are both time travelers whose signature color is red.

Or maybe Jack is the Frisk analogue, since he's the one wiping out all life in the session, and Aradia is the last foe he faces.

@captorations asked: please consider, with this new information about aradia, what it could mean for her literary descendant dulcie septimus. please also keep considering this as you continue and see more of aradia. i am very normal about both of these characters

Ooh, they do have similar vibes, don't they? They're both doomed, they're strongly associated with death, and they both have a cheerful side that comes out when you don't expect it to.

@duorogue asked: "You have to give Nepeta some credit. The literal first thing she did after this traumatic murder was log into Trollian and report on Jack’s activities." To be fair to her, when I have a bad nightmare the first thing I do is log onto discord

nepeta hopping on mic at 2am to complain about the hat man (the hat man is doc scratch)

@absinthe-and-alabaster asked: when the writ keeper was introduced as fifth exile you mentioned that it was a little fucked up how the king was the only prospitian that was preserved - i just wanted to remind you that no, he wasn't ! on page 1974 we see all the other prospitians that were exiled with the white queen on her ship (including ms paint!) WQ just left them to go wander the desert

I'd actually forgotten about that. So much happened during the Act 4 ending that it completely slipped my mind. I even missed Ms. Paint!

Anonymous asked: Hey, as you noticed, the Dave Coin Split is a plot hole. We've never seen the timeline split because of someone's choice before. Compare to John flying to the seventh gate, there weren't two timelines based on his choice, the timeline only changed because Dave came back from the original timeline and changed it. And of course, like you said in the tags, Terezi shouldn't have been able to communicate with Doomed Dave, including to tell him the result of the FL1P. Have you noticed any other plot holes or things that don't seem to make sense?

While I see what you're saying, it might not necessarily be a plot hole! Certainly the Dave Coin Timeline was created in a different manner to Davesprite's - but that might just mean there are multiple ways to split a timeline, or that there are certain requirements that must be fulfilled for a decision to spawn one.

Because of things like that, it's hard to tell whether something's actually a plot hole, or if it'll eventually make sense in light of later reveals.

This is particularly true for aspects of the plot involving time travel, like the one you just described. Like, remember before I learned about Doomed Timelines, when I thought Davesprite broke Homestuck's predestination rules?

Anonymous asked: You said "God Tiering is just another way to inhabit your Dream Self," so do you think the things that Dream Selves can do (such as Jade growing extra arms) can be done by God Tiers?

I never really thought about that!

I think it's definitely possible. God Tier bodies can fly the same way that Dream Selves can, so other powers might transfer, too. Maybe the only reason Vriska, Aradia and John aren't shapeshifters is because Jade hasn't taught them to how to dream up extra limbs.

She might be one of the only Dream Selves who've learned how to shapeshift this fluidly. Logging thousands of hours on Prospit has its perks!

#asks #full liveblog #act 5.2 #homestucksona

[waywardsummoner46]

Evader of the Endless

Pairing: Dream of the Endless x (?)reader, future all Endless x reader (maybe)

Summary: “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), Evader of the Endless, Challenger of Ancient Laws, it has been no easy feat locating you. Prepare yourself for each of us, we are quite unforgiving of those that dare defy our ways.”

Word Count: 1754

Warnings: Nothing extreme yet. Future violence, gore, blood, dub/con, mind manipulation, imprisonment, neglect, abuse and definitely way more and worse

A/N: The Sandman has taken over my life, help. Expect more of this, Eternity, and an Our Beautiful Girl part two within the next few weeks. Let me know what you think and be sure to tag along, this one will be intense.

“So, let me get this straight, you think that there is some sort of mystical higher power out there that hasn’t presented itself because… why?”

  You sighed exasperatedly. “That is not what I said and you know it, Gabriel. All I said was humans suck, so if there is a higher race, I don’t blame them for not showing themselves, you know?”

  Throwing his head back with laughter, Gabriel struggled to understand your logic. 

  “Don’t laugh at me, Gabe. What I’m saying is completely sensible,” you pouted playfully. When his laughter never ceased you raised an amused brow and crossed your arms challengingly. “I can’t help but feel as though you aren’t taking my words seriously.”

  Only after you hit him did he stop laughing. “I’m sorry, I really am but that is seriously some dodgy logic, (Y/N).”

  “Oh yeah? Enlighten me then, oh-great-one, how is it dodgy?”

  In typical Gabe fashion, his posture immediately straightened, his jacket was dusted off and his throat cleared quite dramatically. You barely withheld a sigh of affectionate frustration. “First of all, if there was a more intelligent race than us they would most definitely either invade or make themselves known because of how much humans suck. They would undoubtedly assert their superiority over us and, honestly, would probably make fun of us. I know this because… well… I’ve lied to you, (Y/N). I am actually a martian,” he jokingly raised his hands and went to tickle you but thanks to your quick reflexes, you evaded his attacks.

  “I was genuinely willing to listen to you, then. You’ve ruined it now, well done, you idiot.”

  Poking his tongue out at you in retaliation,  you decided not to engage in any further unintelligent conversation with someone who won’t do the same. As a result, you declared you were going to get another round of drinks as you needed to get away from his brainless arguments (by now, you were used to them so you didn’t mind that much). 

  Gabriel was an extremely questionable person but he was a good one, nonetheless. Having known the guy since you were eleven, suffice to say he was one of your closest, if not the closest, friend you had. Unfortunately, life went by and you both went your separate ways to your individual colleges - it was only now that you’d finally met up. Words couldn’t describe how happy you were once you realised the ease in which you both fell back to your usual dynamic. 

  It was that reason that you’d got on the subject of your otherworldly opinions; randomly, aliens were brought up and the conversation just stemmed from there but you made a solid argument with solid beliefs.

  Hypothetically speaking, if aliens or beings of a higher power or even Gods of old myths exist, why would they reveal themselves to an already dying race? Humans were slowly killing themselves off anyway so why would they either try and redeem the irredeemable or conquer the slowly dying? Like pieces in a puzzle, the logic coexisted in your brain and you felt a childish sense of pride with your hypothesis (it was also highly entertaining garnering a reaction from people). 

  However, at the end of the day, the entirety of it was a fun little theory and while it does bring you some comfort to think that humans aren’t the most intellectual beings in the universe, your realistic brain realised that nothing would ever come of it. 

  “Alright, my darling? How can I help you?” The friendly barman asked you as you sat on the barstool. Smiling at him, you requested the same again and nodded gratefully when he went about it.

 Life was very monotonous. It was fun and full of pleasant surprises but monotonous, all the same. You loved it, though; especially the familiarity of a pub’s atmosphere. Like a warm blanket, the blurred voices of the pub’s regulars danced in your ears and as you glanced around the bar, a small, fond smile at how at peace everybody seemed inside of the White Horse.

  There, your smile remained as still as frozen as a painting… but then, you saw him.

Him in all his otherworldly glory. Him with the beautiful contrast of his black clothes against his pale skin. Him who looked so out of place in the small tavern. Him who carried himself with the self-respect of a king… and him, whose gaze was as piercing as any dagger, who was looking directly at you. 

  That realisation snapped you out of your unabashed admiration and bewilderment long enough for you to turn away and back to the bar. Biting your lip, you cursed your staring and lack of social awareness; the embarrassment of having been caught churned in your gut and you did not dare ponder on how he felt. 

  Glass hit wood and you raised your head. “Here you go, love,” the bartender kindly said.

  Unfortunately for you, your eyes were still a bit dissociated and he noticed. “Everything alright?”

  Immediately, you jolted to attention. “Yes! Yes, sorry, everything’s fine…” Trailing off, you glanced behind you again to where the striking man had been (sighing in relief and disappointment when you found him gone) and the bartender followed your gaze. 

  He didn’t comment on your suddenly flattened demeanour but he did pat your back with something akin to support. Smiling gratefully, you grabbed the drinks and turned to make your way back to your table. 

  Halfway was about all you managed before the glasses fell from your hands and crashed to the floor with a deafening shatter. 

  The man was… sat… at your table, chatting idly to Gabe although all of his attention was seemingly on you. He also seemed to be the only one who had even registered you dropping the glasses as no one else had even batted an eyelid at your humiliating lack of self control. Bravely, you tore your eyes away from the man and looked around the room once more; everyone was either extremely kind or unfathomably oblivious to their surroundings. Good to know you weren’t the only one with no public awareness.

  Suddenly, cool sensations could be felt in each of your hands and your eyes nearly left their sockets when you beheld the glasses, the fully intact glasses, resting innocently in your hands. Beneath furrowed brows, you also noted how there was no liquid or broken glass anywhere on the floor leaving you to not only be confused, but slightly scared of what was happening to you.

  “You dare to challenge us so, little challenger?”  

  If you hadn’t been so hyper fixated on the surreality of your situation and more focused on your distinct and newfound affiliation for this man, you probably would have fainted on the spot. You may still do that, except it would be because of the barely concealed threat within his words you how erratic your breathing was becoming.

  A tickling sensation across your face temporarily calmed you. It was light and  danced across your face like dandelions floating in a breeze. Once your rapid blinking stopped, you noticed, through increasingly heavy eyelids, that the man was now standing away from the table and had a dark, grainy substance in his hand, Gabe was slouched in his seat sleeping and snoring lightly.

   Sand. This nutjob had blown sand in your face if his lowering hand from his mouth signified anything and it was causing you to grow terrifyingly tired. Was it mixed with some sort of air-bourne sedatives? Did those even exist? 

  Your growing panic didn’t seem to be lost on him before you, as he glided effortlessly over to you and began circling you. You were the prey and he was, undoubtedly, the predator. 

  Luckily, you still possessed enough coherent thought to notice his hand raising once more so you staggered backwards with the instability of a newborn deer and fell back against the bar. “No! Don’t blow anymore of that… stuff at me,” you mumbled weakly through drooping eyelashes. “What did you do to my friend?” 

  Onyx flooded your already shrouded vision. Hopelessness overwhelmed you so you thought it best to look in the eyes of the one who’d started all of this. Swallowing your remaining cowardice your lethargic head tilted up and up. Up to the almost ethereal look of his cloak, then to an entrancing light emanating from a gorgeous ruby that hung from his neck. In your peripheral, you registered his pouch of sand but that���s not what held your attention. No, it was the grotesque, skeletal, utterly ghastly mask that he now wore upon his head.

   There was no way to describe it apart from nightmarishly haunting. It was not dissimilar to a gas mask except, the eye sockets were just a little too wide, too red, and the “canister” resembled someone’s spine too much for you to even begin to comprehend just what had presented itself to you. 

  “Please… don’t hurt me,” you whispered. Tears now flowed freely down your cheeks. The fear you’d felt before now multiplied tenfold as your eyes shut for the final time, leaving you blind to his movements. 

  Bafflingly, there were no sounds of rustling fabric or distorted breaths from beyond the mask. In fact, there were no sounds at all. The creep was toying with you, how dare he take advantage of your vulnerability? Degrade you even more by delighting in your helplessness? 

  More grains of sand fluttered across your face and you quickly found yourself descending deeper into the abyss of sleep. At least you won’t be able to feel the pain, right? 

  Stuck on the bridge between consciousness and unconsciousness, you felt an arm snake beneath your knees and another supporting your shoulders. The distinct feeling of your head lolling into something that felt worryingly like the junction of someone’s neck and shoulder would’ve caused you to snap out of your exhaustion but, for the life of you, no effort to wake was rewarded. If anything, you plunged further into sleep and into a realm that should protect you. Instead, you had an inkling that whatever awaited you in sleep would not be for your benefit.

  “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), Evader of the Endless, Challenger of Ancient Laws, it has been no easy feat locating you. Prepare yourself for each of us, we are quite unforgiving of those that dare defy our ways.”

  You never heard his warning, sleep had already overtaken you by then. When you awake, who knows what will happen?

#dream of the endless x reader #dream x reader #the sandman x reader #morpheus x reader #desire of the endless x reader #death of the endless x reader

[the-kinfesssional]

The Monster High fandom is confusing to me and with more and more confidence each day I am slowly vague posting about being a fictionkin on my main blog.

One of the things that irks me when I am scrolling the tags is the "I want the clawd to my draculaura" posts. So.. You want to treat someone like a doggy? Or vice versa, you want to be treated like one? It makes no sense to me, I don't understand.. I mean I assume these individuals just see their relationship to be sunshine and rainbows. Pardon if this sounds rancid but I am glad I never dated Clawd because I could not live with myself if I treated another monster like a dog. That is low. Not to mention sometimes my canon self is just a piece of shit towards him.

- Ula D (#🦇🎀)

Oh dear.

My hypothesis, is that people only scoop the concept out, and not the actual actions. Even then, the concept sucks and people just like the idea because, I don't know how to say this without seeming mean, but a bit freakish.

That's my hypothesis, not the actual reason.

#mod avery #fictionkin #kinfessions #fictionkinfessions #monster high kin #draculaura kin #abuse cw #(?) #🦇🎀 #cuddly-vamp

[xshybutdeadlyx]

Just gonna be a big rant of word vomit.

Please note I'm not trying to attack anyone I'm just kinda laying my feelings out.

I kinda wonder why I bother with Fandoms. I rarely act in any fandoms I'm hyperfixating over but for hazbin hotel I thought why not. But to the surprise of no one it is just like every other Fandom with backhanded comments always being tossed around. And most of it is centered around the character Alastor which I get but God it's giving me anxiety.

Like right now I'm seeing the a divide on the possibility of him having a kinship with the people of the hotel. Personally I think he does or more like did but he's going back to his roots of keeping everyone at an arms length and using them because of his defeat by the hands of Adam. But I personally think those feelings can resurface, but it's gonna be a battle to do so. But I am seeing a lot that people don't believe those feelings were ever there. He really is just a cold heartless bastard who has a God complex and is just mad he lost and that's it. And I feel like that is also correct. But I don't think that makes my hypothesis or how I feel I read the scene wrong? But I've seen people say "if you think this certain way then you are show illiterate and you don't know his character and IM the only one who understands him!" Like....OK? That's the beautiful thing about any piece of literature characters and scenes, anyone can interpret it in so may different ways and it doesn't make anyone wrong. So can't we all just have our own interpretation and just gush over it instead of scoffing at people who didn't see the same thing you saw?

As for shipping, that's a whole monster within its own. I personally don't think anyone is entitled to dictate what someone can and can't do with pixilated characters. I honestly very much understand that Alastor is a big deal considering he's aroace, and that doesn't get enough media representation. And I respect the hell out of it. But I'll also in the same breath say I'm a shipper. I love staticradio because I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers trope. In canon, I want Alastor to keep being the beautiful dick head he is that just has gossip tea parties with Rosie and just doesn't have those romantic or sexual urges. In fanon, though, anyone can really do what they want. I think as long as there aren't death threats or literal force being used to make the creator of the show force Alastor into a relationship I don't think theirs anything in fanon that should be taken seriously when canon is right there glaring everyone in the face. If people wanna keep the "relationship" one-sided? Awesome. If they want Alastor to smooch someone? Cool. They want him to rawdog or get raw dogged by someone. Hey, power to ya, just put it in the tags so people can steer clear of it if they don't wanna see that. I see many people saying it's erasure, but I just don't see how it's erasure when it's still there in canon. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can erase Alastor, who is a sassy aroace king. I can't say I don't understand the mentality, though. As a bisexual woman myself, I see fanfics where bi characters are labeled straight or lesbian/gay completely, ignoring that who they date doesn't make them, neither straight nor gay. It does sting and leave a bad taste but again they can say that, they can write all they want and if it's cathartic for them then ok more power to em because at the end of the day that character is still bisexual they didn't erase it. Usually, people are good at tagging, so if they do make them one way or the other, i dont read or look at the art. It's very easy to scroll down. Sometimes i see it repedidly, but that's what blacklisting is for too. There are many countermeasures. Plus, a lot of things are all in good fun or just canon divergence. People can be creative and play with different ideas. "What if a character was like that!?" "What if they do this!?" "What if this happened instead, and it changed their whole character!?" That's what's supposed to be fun about being in fandoms. Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel. You're allowed to not like something. But I don't think you're allowed to make other people feel like shit because they go against canon, or more precisely, against your views. I genuinely don't think anyone ever means disrespect. All they want to do is have fun and create along with like-minded individuals. You're allowed to not like something. Hell, I don't like Vox and Val together, and that shits canon, but that just means I ain't gonna actively seek it out. (I personally ship Valentino with a bug zapper.)

All in all I just want everyone to feel safe and just have fun because I've just seen so many people to scared, me included, to do anything in the Fandom in fear of getting attacked and that's mostly what's been really eating away at me. But at the end of the day, this IS the internet, and discourse is basically its bread and butter.

Like I said though this is mostly just a vent post but I wouldn't mind to hear others thoughts if you're willing. I know I just probably talked out of my ass for forever. At the end of the day we are just all apart of this silly little Fandom of silly little demon people and we should all just be having fun look at what we like, write/draw what we want. It's exhausting spending energy like anger and malice, we should just focus on the things that matter to us and the things we like and just enjoy it for however long the hyperfixation lasts. Nobody is wrong. Nobody is right. we are just creators or people on here to just escape for a little bit and connect with a show or characters that resonate with us.

Ok for reals this time peace ✌️ if you made it this far and actually read everything I had to say thank you, you're a trooper. I hope I didn't offend anyone since that was not my intent. I just had a lot of feelings and I'd rather we all get along then tear each other apart.

#hazbin hotel #rant #discourse #fandom #shipping #chatacter analysis #thought about just keeping this like a journal and not post it but fuck it

[grem-archive]

Might I ask WHY Mr. Jones is having his archaeological license revoked?

aight so first off, not to knock his indiana rizz, but what type of buffoon wears a leather jacket in the field? absolute dipshittery.

he's too broad fr like this man is just a walking encyclopedia. all the professors i know are very smart, but generally they're all very specialized by the time they get to the point of teaching. my primate anatomy professor's specialty was spinal development in children. ur telling me indie is going from pre-columbian south america, to ancient egypt, india, medieval christian artifacts, and then to china? i'm envious but...

and he's more a treasure hunter than anything? rather than naming and recording a site based on a hypothesis or questions had, finding possible evidence, and deciding to do survey and then excavations (if necessary),,,, indie is basically looking for very specific types of artifacts. famous things belonging to famous people or important symbolic or ritual artifacts. i mean c'mon. the holy grail? a golden fertility idol? also this man does basically ZERO recording of anything which made me want to cry because man filling out artifact tags and bags and making sure you have everything in context CORRECTLY...AAAAAAA!!! 90% or more of archaeology is not this way.

to use my own experience as an example: we were attempting to answer questions about the daily lives of settlers at jamestown, finding those ordinary stories. my favorite artifacts to expose from the screens were pieces of clay pipes and things like shards of glass. like case bottle glass that can relatively date a unit to 1652 or later because of previous knowledge guiding us, telling us this type of glass wasn't used before then? beautiful even in its state of decay. shards of pipes that can tell us where they're from by their color (a red virginian clay versus the white 'kaolin' clay of england)? and some even have decoration that we can mend? maker's marks even??? "star maker" pipes my beloved! they tell us about trade at the time. the importance of something seemingly as mundane as the tobacco trade.

bestie. we got excited to find evidence of a ditch that was mentioned tangentially in just one or two historical records. we are not looking for the fantastic on purpose. usually.

there is so much i could say on fictional archaeologists like indiana jones in terms of accuracy, but honestly? that takes the fun out of it. since those movies have come out there has been an abundance of real archaeologists that have debunked his behavior. even i still enjoyed the action of the movie! just take him with a grain of salt :D

#callsign gremlin checking in #moooom! gremlin is archaeologyposting to her fandom blog! #i'm kicking my feet thinking about lead cloth tags

[discursivetacenda]

current things

tagged by @ossified-hypothesis

3 ships: currently? god, i haven't shipped anything in years. i'm an old fandom head and kinda drifted outta it as life took over. i don't even read much fanfic lately (woe!) but some old stand bys will always be … Hardison/Parker/Spencer from Leverage; Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes or Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson from MCU; Watson/Sherlock from the bendydick cucumberpatch Sherlock.

last song: i was just listening to Boys & Girls by Alabama Shakes (whole album, but the song is pretty damn good too). shout out to larry back at mercer in 2019, who put me up on brittany howard and said i looked like i would like them. i remember almost nothing else of working there, but he was definitely not wrong.

currently reading: on audiobook, i'm about halfway through His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novik. which is turning out more enjoyable than her Scholomance series so. in paperback, i'm about halfway through The Last Bookaneer by Matthew Pearl. been slogging through that one for a year or so, and got it almost a decade ago (yike)… it's just not what i thought it was gonna be.

last movie: uhhhhhhhhhhhh. this is the full adhd brain of "i've never seen a movie in my life" when actually it's probably that i just watched Pacific Rim again. because perfect movie. if it wasn't that, then it mighta been Barbie? i think i just rewatched it lately.

currently watching: flipping between One Piece (the anime) and Almost Human and Swamp Thing. because i can't stay focused on much lately, and half the time i end up just playing books in my headphones or watching a bunch of woodturning and sewing on youtube. makers are awesome.

currently craving: a job? i'm mostly craving an end to this lull of no work and no money. but mostly i'm craving… idk, maybe some snuggles with the boyfriend and then the partner going over to his FWB's house and the peace that settles when that happens.

currently consuming: i just made fries and a nacho cheese style sauce, so that's on the docket. i'm currently in a pause on consuming yarn for a blanket… hadta buy new because my stash ran out.

tagging.... @jabberwockypie, @nothowtheforceworks, @scorpiarius94, and anyone else who wants to?

#tag game #current things #this is the first post i've done on the browser in an age #i hate it here

[mikaharuka]

Find the Word Tag!

So, I was tagged by @mrsmungus a few days ago for this game. The rules are simple - find the word (or something close enough) in a fic (WIP, published, whatever works) and share the excerpt it is in!

Words I was given: master, pulse, shiver, smile, end/ended

Your words to find: drink, black, sun, laugh, silence

Tagging to play (no pressure, of course): @sliebman10, @tsunderewatermelon, @axolotlsupremacyowo, @udaberriwrites, @hylianjo, @lena-hills, @kayedium-writes, @precambrian-sea-pancake, @oceangirl24, and anyone else who feels like joining with the open tag! Really, I just tagged so many people lol

NOTES:

*All the excerpts are from my long-fic, Apricity. I wanted to include context, so this post does run a bit longer...

*NSFW warning for the third one - "shiver". This is in an erotic dream.

*I combined the fourth and fifth ones - "smile" and "end/ended" - so I went with a longer excerpt for those two words.

*Discord Server Folks! (you know who you are XD) - the last excerpt is a scene that is setup for the paint fic ('We Need To Talk About Rosalie'). Tbh, that scene is all the context you'll need for the fic, so I did include the entire scene to spare y'all in the future~ XD

Now, with all of that out of the way... onwards!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Master - So... I went with 'mastermind' for this one. I did find a "master bedroom" mention in the first chapter when Beau was moving into his new house, but this was much more interesting~

[From Mocha Hypothesis - Apricity, Ch 9]

Was Edward a bad guy? “… you’re not wrong. I suppose you could be a bad guy.” Confusion marred Edward’s features. “Then why do you-” “It depends on what you mean by bad, though.” Edward looked incredulous. “Okay, I’ll bite. What kind of bad could I be, then?” “Bad as in inferior? No way. Not with your looks or abilities.” “Haha, fair enough,” Edward chuckled. “Bad as in unpleasant? You’ve had your weird moments, but we get along well.” “Maybe… with you and your friends in bio, at least.” “Bad as in evil? Not impossible, but I doubt it.” Edward clicked his tongue. “Isn’t that careless to dismiss?” “Right, because an evil mastermind would live as a high schooler in a small town.” “…I suppose it would be difficult to carry out evil plans.” “Bad as in dangerous, though… maybe. Magic is dangerous, after all.” “Do you think I’m dangerous?” Edward asked, looking on edge. "Hmm... I don't know, but I don't think so. Not from what I know of you, at least." "You don't know very much about me." "True, but everything I've seen so far points against it. Same goes for your brother." "My brother?" Edward scoffed. "Carlisle's easily the most dangerous of all." Beau's breath hitched, wondering what Edward meant by that.

-

Pulse - Found it in the hospital scene/inciting event, naturally. Also found it in the NSFW chapter, but most of the incidences are actually in Sangria/Midnight and are in spoiler-ish parts, so I'll pass on those.

[From Cerise Blossom - Apricity, Ch 6]

He turned back to face Beau. "Did you feel any pain or have any issues with balance?" "No, it went well. I didn't notice any problems." "And now? You mentioned a mild headache earlier, but do you feel anything else?" “I’m a little dizzy,” Beau looked down. “I just noticed a slight chest ache too.” “Alright. That is not abnormal.” The doctor set the folder down and maneuvered his stethoscope. “Take a few deep breaths for me.” He pressed the chest piece to just under his left collarbone, causing Beau to shudder as cool fingertips gently brushed against his skin and moved across his chest with each breath. Beau closed his eyes and tried to calm the racing heartbeat he was certain the older man could hear. It was a futile effort, though, as the spikes of heat that blossomed beneath the man’s fingers only fueled his already racing pulse even faster. Combined with the alluring scent - of sandalwood and vanilla with a hint of spice and a trace of disinfectant - that invaded his senses with each deep breath, Beau felt a soft haze set in. “Now breathe normally. I need to listen to your heart function.” That only made Beau’s heart race faster. The only thing keeping him grounded was the knowledge that the doctor, Edward, and his dad would be able to see his every reaction.

-

Shiver - This one showed up 6 times... with half of them from Azure, the one NSFW chapter I have so far (erotic dream + vampire sex). Since I'm here, might as well do the most NSFW of the three XD

[From Azure Mystique - Apricity, Ch 11]

'Open for me, beautiful boy' Unable to resist the siren’s call, Beau felt his legs simply fall apart as he collapsed onto the warm earth, when slick lips captured his own once more. A stronger metallic taste permeated the kiss once more as the man’s hands wandered even lower. Just as Beau was about to give into the haze once more, the man pulled away abruptly and another rip of fabric reverberated through the forest. Goosebumps spread rapidly and shivers rippled across skin newly exposed to the cold air. It felt empty, alone - something was missing. Beau looked up at ruby red eyes with an unspoken need for something he couldn’t name - for something he didn't even know. Within seconds, the being descended upon Beau ravenously, interspersing harsh bites and deep marks with deliberate kisses and teasing licks. Feather-light fingers plucked purposefully at delicate rosy peaks on his chest like harp strings, as more possessive fingers caressed his hips, his waist, and soon dipped lower over the swell of his body, pushing more firmly inside, to a deeper place the man was all too familiar with, given their numerous amorous encounters. Lost within the maelstrom of pleasure, Beau jolted sharply with a single touch, arching his back at the series of sharp twin stings along his inner thighs before an ever-rising rush of ecstasy melded with the pain, elevating his carnal desires to an even higher peak. The sensations were all too much and yet still not enough.

-

Smile - This one showed up 66 times! End/Ended - This one showed up 100+ times!

Fortunately, both showed up in the same scene, and that scene happens to be the only major context the Discord folks need in order to understand the premise of my paint drying fic. So here we are - the awkward, tense, yet hilarious conversation between Mike and Carlisle about a certain blonde girl and the meaning of friendship XD

[From Midnight Freefall - Apricity, Ch 14]

Satin - or perhaps, a slight shimmer. The sapphire tint shifted subtly, introducing a new dimension to the previously matte sensation. Either way, something had changed and something else would happen. The next change was one Mike could note with his bare eyes - the eerie stillness of the past few minutes finally broke. The doctor hadn't moved, but the threatening, baleful edge that mirrored his own sapphire's phantom cold had taken a different charge. Still so sharp, anticipatory, and inhuman... yet somehow neutral and vaguely familiar. ... “You are exactly as they described you.” ... Those words… they were familiar alright. “Edward, I take it?” Mike paused for a beat then continued. “And Elle too, I suppose.” The doctor quirked an eyebrow and allowed a small smile to form across his lips. “Edward has a lot to say about you and Eleanor seems to enjoy your company.” Mike was going to have a word with that suspicious guy before the night ended. “However, it was Rosalie that spoke to me at length about you.” “…Rose did?” “Yes, she did. Why are you surprised by that?” the doctor asked, looking him over again. Being on the receiving end of such scrutiny… though Mike didn’t feel on edge as he had earlier, that sangria gaze and deep voice still unsettled him, keeping him far off balance. He took a deep breath to regain his composure before responding. “Rose and I don’t interact too often outside of school-related matters.” “Interesting. She regularly corresponds with you. Do you not consider her a friend?” “A friend…” ‘Friend’ wasn’t the first word that came to mind. He and Rose worked well together in the few classes they shared. Group projects often had them meeting outside of school hours… and a few personal things probably got mentioned every now and then… and they did text each other random stuff… and there was her warning from that morning… Huh… maybe they were friends of a sort after all? “You’ve come to a realization.” This man wasn’t even trying to hide his true nature, was he? Of course not - there was no reason for him to do so. Not when Mike was the only one around to see or hear him. Hell, the vampire even sounded a bit amused by Mike’s confusion. “I didn’t think of it that way before, but I suppose we are. Friends, that is.” “I would agree, based on what Rosalie has told me.” Figures Mike would be subtly lectured about friendship by some ancient vampire he was meeting for the first time. Someone was clearly playing mad libs with his life.

#tag game #my tag games #find the word tag #mizuka's tag games #my writing #my excerpts #winter light excerpts

[shock-blanket-fort]

nine people you want to know better tag game

I was tagged by @setsailslash :3

Last Song: Ode to Harrison - Michael Giacchino. I've been on a throwback season lately, so I've been revisiting music that once made me feel something or somehow spoke to me. That piece from Star Trek: Into Darkness really did so back then, even before the movie was released, because it was such an overwhelmingly accurate portrait of that character that when I saw him on-screen I was in awe at how precise it was, emotionally-musically speaking XDDD

Favorite Color: Pink, black, purple, apparently red and burgundy, wine… Red variations. I also like blue, but not as much as I used to 😅 I do realize I've a lot of black, red, grey, burgundy, fucsia clothes now 🤔

Last Movie/TV Show: I was in a telenovela mood since July last year…? I'm currently not watching much TV on my own, but I've been rewatching Frasier and watching Zorro, from 1957 with mum.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Same as Kuro. It also depends on my mood, though, but I should say I tend to favor acid/sour flavors 😅

Relationship Status: In a love-hate relationship with my work and myself. I'm too high maintenance XDDD

Last Thing I Googled: “why do I feel like crying whenever I sing” XDDD It's something that bothers me greatly XDDD I’ve my own hypothesis about it, but I can't find anything that backs it up because they always bring up this “emotional connection” idea that doesn't completely satisfy me because it feels different, so… Yeah.

Current Obsession: Fandom-wise? I dunno if it's an obsession (it most certainly isn't as strong as my “obsessions” used to be), but I've been reading lots of BL and GL mangas…? Harusono Shou is one of my favorite authors since 2020. She has an amazing way of putting so much emotion in her work and it makes me feel so happy. I admire her a lot 🥺✨

Last Book: Abrazado a las estrellas, a compilation of Nakahara Chuuya’s poems translated into Spanish. Such a great book 🥺✨

Looking Forward To: Finishing this project I've been working on because it's kinda exhausting 🙃 Also to Saturday, because they said it was gonna rain and I certainly hope it does 🥲

Tagging: Um… As you can see, I'm not that often around here, but if you see this and wanna share, I wanna read you too :3

#meme #Kuro look!! #kuro look #sorry it took me this long to answer #thanks for the tag! :D

[powercompounds]

What counts as naturally superior?

It's the first question one might ask when one encounters a prejudicial statement, and usually there is a clean-cut answer according to the answerer's philosophy. For example, "black people make up 13% of the population but 52% of the prison population" is a common factoid bandied about by those who wish to paint black people as inferior to white people. But why would this be evidence of an underlying inherent inferiority?

To answer this, we have to figure out what inferiority and superiority actually are, and this is a thorny question that philosophers throughout the ages have been at a loss to answer. The most successful have removed the concept a step from the idea of superiority and inferiority and proposed two things, "good" and "bad", from which moral theory stems. Someone acting on moral theory could very easily piece together a potential train of thought for our hypothetical racist.

I broadly see safety and happiness as good. There are intricacies, but generally those two are pretty good.

I live in a society in which myself and others are safe and happy.

From statements 1 and 2, I can conclude that my society is, broadly speaking, good.

My society involves a group that works to uphold said society, known as the judicial system.

From statements 3 and 4, I can conclude that the policing group is, broadly speaking, good.

The policing group disproportionately sees black people as violators of its statutes.

From statements 5 and 6, I can conclude that black people likely are violators of its statutes, and further from statements 3 and 4, I can see that they are violators of tenets that uphold my good society. Therefore, black people act against the upkeep of a morally good society, and are morally bad.

Technically speaking, this is a valid train of thought. Some of the facts are wrong, enough to flip the last statement on its head, but if all of them were right, there would be no flaw in the logic. But moral good, an unknown quantity entirely defined by the speaker, pervades through every single point without more than a vague thought as to what it is.

What is this good thing? And why does it waltz through our brains daily without so much as an introduction, blithely asserting its truth as it shows us none of its nature?

My first hypothesis:

Good, such as it is, is a tag that our brains put on positive situations to help us as animals survive and reproduce.

It's a scary thought, isn't it? That the notions of good and evil, concepts that have built civilisations and destroyed lives and brought us this shitshow that we call the present day, are mere figments brought about by evolution, urges that do nothing more in the grand scheme of things than increase our chances of fucking. But it's also a good thought - because people survive best together, and that means that good (at its most basic) is fundamentally anti-bigotry.

Upon hearing the factoid above, there's another train of thought that goes something like this.

Working together with other people is good.

Our society has a policing force that works against black people.

Based on statements 1 and 2, our society is bad.

So, the answer to "what counts as naturally superior"? It can be many things, but in the end, it all boils down to the desire for survival and procreation - and that will hopefully form the basis for a unifying theory on why people believe others evil.

[rina-writes]

Cubic Zirconia

Summary:  You run a non-profit that promotes women in STEM. As part of your role, you still maintain an old YouTube channel where you teach math and science concepts. Every now and then you get to interview small celebrities.  You get the opportunity to interview Jack Harlow, your biggest celebrity yet.  You didn’t think much of it until Jack’s agent calls with a proposal: date Jack for 6 weeks and get the funding your company desperately needed.

Warnings: Fem!reader, fake dating trope, fluffy, mentions of drinking, mentions of sex, light descriptions of sex, a bit of angst at the end, very long (20k+ words)

A/N: I’m not usually into the fake dating troupe, but The Love Hypothesis was quite enjoyable (apparently it was Reylo fan fiction which although I don’t follow that ship, it’s a cool fun fact). So, it inspired me to write my own version as someone who is in STEM and I thought it would be fun to do it for Jack. But…I was kinda on a roll and went very long. Also, went for the more avant-garde title. Kinda proud of it tbh lol

Your eyebrows went up even higher than they did before as the piece of paper was pushed in front of you.  It was a check for $50,000.  You were sitting in a board room surrounded by ten people from Jack Harlow’s team.  Only one of them, Jack’s agent, was doing the talking, but you assumed the rest surrounded you to make you feel intimidated.  You wanted to tell them it was unnecessary.  

You were wearing the same sweater you had worn on and off for the last week, alternating days so colleagues wouldn’t notice.  Your leggings had tiny holes by the thighs, but it wasn’t noticeable unless someone was staring directly at your crotch. Your sneakers were discounted at Famous Footwear, the cheapest in your size and you still scoffed at the $40 price tag. The most decent thing about you was from the shoulders up.  You knew how to apply the minimal makeup needed to make you look presentable, but also push you out the door in the 15 minutes you gave yourself to get ready.  Your hair was the same trusty style you had it since high school, so you didn’t even worry about it on a daily. In a room full of designer bags, professional haircuts, and, most likely, many cosmetic procedures, you were so intimidated, you couldn’t even feel embarrassed.  They didn’t have to try so hard. That many zeroes on a check spoke volumes.

“I think I may have gotten lost some where in there.” You confessed, shaking your head.

You stared at the check on the table, not wanting to pick it up.  You knew that touching the check didn’t mean you accepted it, but you didn’t want to risk it.

“What is it you want me to do?” You asked Jack’s agent.

“I want you to pretend to be Jack’s girlfriend for the next six weeks.” Jack’s agent walked back over to the giant monitor with his slides.  You groaned inwardly.  You hated watching your own presentations, let alone someone else’s.  “As you can see here, since your and Jack’s interview, he’s really jumped up in demographics that were quite low before.  For example, men over 45.”

You grimaced. You really hoped those people were your investors and not creeps he watched your videos for other reasons.

“But most importantly, this demographic of women between 25 and 40.” Jack’s agent tapped the screen.  “It was a market we thought we already tapped into, but surprisingly, it was the wholesome side of Jack that really got to them.”

That made sense to you.  Your non-profit targeted women in STEM with a particular focus on BIPOC women in undergraduate programs.  As a result, most of your questions to Jack were about his views on education and enhancing young minds.  You were surprised by his responses.  For someone who didn’t go to college, he didn’t frown upon it.  In fact, he focused more on not giving up because the going got tough. Given that most of your viewers were women in STEM, they were probably happy to hear support from someone so…charismatic and easy on the eyes. Many of them may not of heard of Jack prior to your video and, like good scientists, started to do their research.

“And you think that dating me would help?” You asked, frowning.

“Well, yes.  People are already pairing you two together.”  The agent said, clasping his hands in front of his waist.

“Do you always do what the shippers want?” You laughed softly, finding that to be a preposterous reason. 

“The what?” The agent asked.

You rolled your eyes. “You know, shippers? People who “ship” people together.  Come on that’s like 2013 Tumblr, how old are you?”

The agent cleared his throat.  “The whole industry is about strategic partnerships, especially faux relationships.  Chances are if a pairing seems a little too perfect or a bit too strange, it’s a fake.”

“Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson?” You asked.

“Uh huh.”

“Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson?”  You offered.

“Yup.”

Kate Beckinsale and Pete---” You paused and let out a groan.  “Am I…am I the female Pete Davidson?”

“You could be!” The agent said, throwing finger guns your way with a bright grin.  You couldn’t tell if he meant that as an insult or not.

“Isn’t it kind of seedy though? I mean how does Jack feel about this?” You asked, looking around.  “He’s not even here.”

“He’s preparing for his show tonight.” His agent explained, “And trust me, he’s fine with it. We need to know if you are.”

“I-I”  You looked down at the check again.  The $50,000 up front would be amazing for your organization.  To have the promised $150,000 more at the end of six weeks would be phenomenal. The doors you could open and the dreams you could grant were innumerable.  Well, they weren’t exactly innumerable, but it was damn good.  But, weren’t you selling your soul?  Or rather, your identity and reputation.  Was that all worth $200,000?

“Don’t forget…” The agent added, seeming to sense your hesitancy. “That’s just our offer to your agency.  For the next six weeks, you’ll have a condo in Atlanta, full-time driver, and I’m sure Jack will cover all of your joint meals.”

“Atlanta?” You frowned, forgetting this part of the arrangement. “I live in Silicon Valley. That’s way too far.”

“I mean can’t you help women in Atlanta?” The agent offered.  “It could be good for Jack as well.  There are plenty of marginalized groups--”

“These kind of programs take time to develop.  We need months of research to find out which areas would prosper the most from our resources.  Then we need to determine the kinds of resources that they would benefit from the most and if we can fully provide them.  We would also need clear results to show our investors which would take way longer than six weeks.” You stood up.  “This business is not the kind of thing that you do for a day or a week.  If you want to help someone build a career, it takes years.  For me to just date a guy, move to a city, start a half-assed program, and then bounce because of, what, a broken heart? That would be like career suicide to me and my company.”

“You’re right.” The agent said before quickly adding, “Sorry.  How about this? We’ll continue to fund your program after the six week break up for the next few years. We can decide then if it would be public or not. But this way, you’ll at least know you have a chapter in Atlanta that is fully funded.”

“Chapters are expensive.” Your ears had perked up at the word.  “A chapter has management and full-time volunteers.  Can you afford it?”

There was some laughter in the room. The agent raised his hand to stop them.  You hadn’t really liked him at first, but you appreciated this gesture. Despite the group of people there to make you feel insignificant, throughout your conversation with him, the agent made you feel important.  He respected you. He looked in your eyes when he spoke.  You weren’t particularly taken by him, but he was warming up to you.

“Yes.” He said in a manner that confirmed it wasn’t a stupid question.

“Well then, I look forward to working with you, Samuel.”  You stood up and walked over to shake his hand.

“Please, call me Sammy.” He said, smiling at you.

You grinned back, “No.” You said confidently before turning on your heels and walking out the door, grabbing your check along the way.  As you walked to your bicycle, you realized the gravity of what you had just done and questioned your sanity.  However, as you biked to the nearest bank, what you were feeling seemed inconsequential to the amount of help you would be providing. 

~

Jack spun around in his chair, his phone on speaker as he heard Sammy on the phone. He was almost sure he had misheard him. It was already late in Atlanta by the time Sammy called. Jack’s producer had stepped out for some fresh air and his boys went to grab a bite to eat. Jack was in the studio alone, listening to beat after beat, looking for inspiration. It was a welcomed distraction to hear Sammy’s voice.

“I can’t believe she agreed to it.” Jack asked, flexing his slender, pale fingers. “She definitely seems a bit high and mighty.”

“Oh she is.” Sammy huffed. “You tell her a few things about her non-profit and suddenly she’s calling you by your government name.”

“Ugh, she kept calling me Jackman!” Jack laughed.  “Every time we were off camera.  It felt like a swear. My skin crawled every single time.”

“What did you say?” Sammy asked, curious what could make her so icy towards him.

“I asked why she wasn’t wearing a lab coat for her intro.” Jack shook his head. “Apparently, she’s a computational biology so it means she mostly spends her time looking at computers.  I may have implied she wasn’t a real scientist.  I almost found my head inside of that life sized volcano replica.”

Sammy’s warm laugh made Jack smile.  It was a painful memory to relieve.  He remembered seeing your face twist slightly, fighting back anger.  You clenched your fists, took a few deep breaths and walked away.  You returned like mother a who stopped herself from slapping her child.  You put on a similarly maternal, placating voice as you told him you were ready to begin.

Jack didn’t think you were a bad person. He could tell you were sweet and genuinely cared for others.  You were a lot better person than him, that’s for sure.  However, you were high strung with strong opinions. It didn’t surprise him that you gravitated towards math and science where everything was grounded in facts. He was more of a poet. You both were so different, you two being together wouldn’t make sense.

“Why do you think she’s the best candidate again?” Jack asked Sammy.

“Because, she’s smart and cute.” Sammy explained.  “It helps your image.”

“Are you calling me dumb?” Jack teased.

“Of course not! People see you as a bit of an intellectual…for a rapper anyway.” Jack could hear Sammy’s smirk that the jab.  “If you were to be with an actual…”

“Geek?” Jack offered.

“Academic…” Sammy countered. “...it would really match up.  Plus, as I said, a lot more older ladies started listening to your music. Older ladies who have STEM money.”

“How did Y/n even get to run a company? I mean she’s around my age, right?” Jack speculated out loud.

“Why don’t you ask her?” Sammy offered.  “On your date next week.”

“Wait what?” Jack yelled, his spinning coming to a halt.

“Ah, gotta go, but I’ll text you the details.” Sammy said, hanging up quickly.

Jack groaned loudly.  He knew that the couple reveal would be soon, but he didn’t expect it to be that soon.  Jack sighed. What could he do anyway?  The decision had been made.  He sighed and went back to listening to beats.  The first few notes tingled his ears in that familiar way.  He found it.  He wrote down the number of the beat and started rapping; the bars flowing out of his lips easily.  Suddenly, everything else faded as he sunk deeper into his passion.

~

“Aren’t you going to dress up a bit?”

Your cheeks flushed pink at Jack’s comment.  You could tell in his eyes that he realized he messed up. You weren’t sure if it was because of your expression or if he realized on his own that his comment was in poor taste.

“I am dressed up…” You squeaked, playing with the hem of your sweater dress.  

So, your fashion taste was stuck in that timeframe where business casual had somehow been considered sexy. But, this was your best dress--that wasn’t an actual gown.  The gray cowl neck sweater dress hugged your curves fairly well and was long enough to cover your leggings that tucked into your short black booties. You always got compliments on it at conferences with your friends telling you that they wished they had dressed up as well.  You forgot that you were in a field with a dress code of jeans and free company t-shirts. They shouldn’t have been your marker for fashion. 

“Ah, damn.” Jack closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “Top five things not to say to your girlfriend on the first date.”

You cracked a smile which seemed to encourage Jack further.  “Perhaps I should just make a comment about your weight and imply how much I hate makeup, just to make sure I knock the other items off the list.”

“I knew it!” You yelled teasingly. “I knew there had to be handbook because all guys couldn’t just figure out the exact lines to be scum.”

Jack chuckled. “Yeah, you get it when you hit puberty. It’s the book we get instead of those period books.”

You laughed softly.  You stared at Jack and realized that even though he wasn’t wearing anything spectacular himself, he did look more put together.  He was wearing a sleeveless black mock neck, a fitted black blazer and well-tailored black pants.  The accents of his silver Kentucky necklace, diamond stud earrings and his many rings on his well-manicured fingers brought his look together. He was wearing his glasses today. They were rimless with a slight brownish tinge to it that seemed to go well with his curly brown hair.  It was a bit shorter than usual and his beard was trimmed and neatened. You avoided the most stunning part of him, his bright blue eyes.  They trapped you in  a way that you wondered was legal. From the glances you did steal, they looked beautiful as well.

“I didn’t really have anything in SF that I could wear…” You confessed. “I assumed you would wear sweats.”

“On a date with you?” Jack shook his head before smiling. “I would never.”

Oh right, his straight, white teeth. How could you forget his perfect teeth?  You looked away from his smile.

“What should I do? Is it going to be a disaster?”  You asked, gesturing at her outfit.

“Let me call my stylist…” Jack said, pointedly avoiding the question.

Forty-five minutes later, you emerged from the hotel bathroom in your new outfit. His stylist clapped happily.  You awkwardly took your clothes, hoping she didn’t see your tattered legging, and put them on the bed. She did a few finishing touches by adding another ring and gave you a thumbs up.  You didn’t blame her for running out the door before Jack’s commentary.  It was a Saturday and she had mentioned she had to meet with her boyfriend soon.

You waited patiently, the sound of the door of your hotel room closing as she left. It was like a reminder that you two were alone, again.  You couldn’t tell if Jack was joking or not, but he seemed to be rendered speechless. He kept opening and closing his mouth until final he said,

“Uhm, wow.” Jack was  looking you up and down like he was looking at a stranger.  “You look hot.”

You turned in the full-length mirror and looked at yourself. You were wearing a maroon velvet two piece set with an off-the-shoulder crop top and midi skirt.  On your feet were strappy gold heels that matched the chandelier earrings and other assorted jewelry pieces.  You had a matching Kate Spade bag that barely fit all the items your tote bag could, but you could make do for the evening.  You felt sexy, especially with the red lipstick that tied it all together.

“Do you think people will recognize me?” You asked Jack, turning to him.

“Why wouldn’t they?” Jack asked.

“You said I looked hot.”  You frowned slightly. “I’m not sure if that fits my usual image.”

“I said hot…not different. You always look gorgeous.” Jack confirmed.  He stared at your eyes through your reflection. You realized this was only a little more bearable than direct eye contact. “Come on, let’s go have a good time.”

You blushed and nodded, happy to get away from him.  Standing in the mirror together, you could feel his warm, strong body behind you and it made your heart beat faster.  Distance was quite welcomed.

You got into Jack’s car and were driven to the restaurant.  You didn’t expect him to have a driver, but then again, you realized it made sense.  You sat in the back of the car in silence, only the sounds of smooth jazz playing in the background.  Jack’s bodyguard was sitting in the passenger seat, looking at his phone.  When you arrived at the restaurant, the bodyguard got out first to open Jack’s door and let him out.  You were about to scoot over when Jack wagged a finger at you.  He closed the door and did a quick jog over to your side to open the door for you himself.

“A queen never slides.” Jack smiled at you, extending his hand towards you.

“Is that…” You grinned as you took his hand. “Is that Jack Harlow quoting the Princess Diaries?”

He laughed. “Why is that shocking? I am very into cinema.”

You shook your head as you walked toward the restaurant together. “I don’t know if I would consider that a cinematic masterpiece.”

“2000s movies have a special place in my heart.” Jack confessed. “I can’t critique them honestly.”

“Wait, so you’re really into movies then?” You asked him.

Jack opened the door for you and at this point you realized you had been holding hands this whole time.  While you appreciated the gesture of opening the door, your hand suddenly felt cold without his.  Jack seemed to read your mind because he resumed holding your hand the moment you stepped in.  You had to remind yourself that this was for the couple of paparazzi who had just spotted you both.  Not because he actually wanted to hold your hand.

“I am.” Jack’s voice sounded breathy almost like he was confessing.  “Sometimes I think I love movies more than music.”

You didn’t have a chance to respond.  The head waiter recognized Jack immediately and led you to your table. The waiter motioned to pull your chair out, but Jack stopped him, doing it for you instead. You sat down and placed your napkin, your cloth napkin, across your lap and picked up the menu.  You stared at the prices in disbelief. The restaurant, Bacchanalia, had a prix fixe menu of $110 a person.  They also had a caviar service, which you had never heard of, that cost $120.  As if immediately understanding your reaction, Jack leaned over and whispered,

“I promise, you’ll be full.”

“For these prices, I would pretend even if I wasn’t.” You whispered back.

Jack smiled softly.  You thought the seating arrangement was weird at first.  At a four sided table, you were used to sitting across from the person you were eating with, but Jack sat in the seat adjacent to you. Now, you realized, it made it much easier to chat.  It also gave the strategically placed paparazzi the perfect angle to snap photos of you two. 

“It wasn’t my first choice,” Jack confessed. “Because only a pretentious asshole would bring a girl to the fanciest place in town for a first date.  But, the food here is pretty good.  Try to at least enjoy it, even if the company is terrible.”

“You said it not me.” You turn to grin at him. He was smiling back, but you suddenly realized how close he was to you. He was hunched over, inches from your face, causing you to inhale deeply.  That was a terrible idea because you inhaled all of his scent.  Jack smelled very good.  It was a light clean scent with something else distinct that you knew would be the smell you associated with him forever.

Jack leaned in to close the space between you both and you pulled the menu up to separate you. He chuckled softly and you wondered if he ever felt embarrassment.  You would have if you had been rejected in such a manner.

“Guess I read the mood wrong there.”  Jack commented, picking up his menu as well.

“What mood?” You huffed, moving a hand between you two. “This isn’t real remember?”

“Say it louder, please.” Jack gestured behind him with his thumb. “For the people in the back.”

You frowned.  “Seriously, there’s not point in fooling around.  It’ll just make things messy.”

“There’s fun in mess, you know.” Jack smiled at you, a glint in his eye.

“There’s also comfort in control.” You countered, rather weakly. It didn’t exactly make you sound life the of the party.

You both ordered your food and Jack got a bottle of wine for the table.  He chose a Prosecco which was at the top of the list of sparkling wines. The waiter came and offered the wine to Jack to sniff. Jack offered it to you, only to get a look like a deer in headlights.  What exactly were you supposed to do with that?  Jack leaned in,

“I heard you’re supposed to check if any cork got in and check if it’s fresh.  Just, swirl, sniff  and sip.”   You could barely focus with the feeling of his warmth breath tickling your cheek.  You followed his instructions, smiling and nodding at the waitress.  She smiled, adding more to your glass and filling Jack’s halfway. She placed the bottle on the table before walking away.

“How did you know that?” You asked.

“Drama.” Jack responded.  Upon seeing your quirked brow he added. “DJ Drama.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” You nodded. You knew he was his mentor, but that was about it.

“And Reddit.” Jack added, taking a sip of his wine. He shrugged as if to say, “the internet, am I right?”

You chuckled at his honesty.  You glanced around the restaurant casually as you took another sip of wine.  You noticed that the area around you was pretty empty despite the late hour. That’s how you knew this place was fancy.

“Have you seen your condo yet?” Jack asked.  “It’s pretty snazzy.  It’s the company condo. I stared there when I first got signed for a couple weeks. It’s not too far from here.”

“I’ve only been to the hotel, where you met me today.” You mentally face palmed, pointing out the obvious. Jack was polite enough not to mention it.

“When do you check out?” Jack asked.

“In two days.”  You explained.  “They said I shouldn’t go to the condo until next week.  Well, as long as the public doesn’t see me.”

“That makes sense.” Jack nodded.  “To show our relationship growing gradually before having you show up more frequently.”

“Yup, that’s the plan.”  You pressed your lips into a line.  “Is this fake thing something you do often?”

Jack laughed. “Are you kidding?” Jack shook his head.  “Hell, no.  My agent put this all together because apparently being private isn’t ‘in’ anymore.  But, I’m not really into relationships.”

“Well, you’re a 20-something year old man.”  You shrugged.  “I’m sure you can get any girl you want.”

Jack eyed you with a smirk tugging at his lips. “Not any girl…at least not for free.”

“Ah, an Only Fans subscriber, I see.”  You gave him a little fist pump. “At least you are helping woman owned businesses.”

“Yeah, my most expensive one yet is a $200,000 appearance fee.” Jack smirked as you choked into your wine.

It was at that moment that you realized the money your organization was receiving didn’t just come from thin air.   Someone had to earn it and that someone was Jack.  As much as you found the idea preposterous, he was, to some degree, your employer.  The least you could do was be cordial toward him.

“It will really help a lot of people.” You explained.  “Plus, Samuel said that he would help to create an Atlanta chapter of the organization.  Although we support women in STEM, our resources extend to everyone in the community. Last year, communities with our chapters saw a 45% increase in retention rates of high school graduates even though only 30% of them were officially in our program. We think this is because--”

Jack stared at you in awe.  You looked so animated when you talked about your work.  He remembered this from your video together, but it was such a short period of time and he had clearly rubbed you the wrong way.  Now, he could see that you weren’t only smart, but also incredibly caring.  You called students by name as you commended their efforts.  You rattled off numbers and statistics like they were seared into your brain.  Even when you briefly explained a mathematical concept, despite not studying for years, it seemed to click in Jack’s head effortlessly.  He was disappointed when you stopped speaking, a flush of red dusting your cheeks.

“Sorry, I went on a long rant there…” You cleared your throat. “...in summary, your money is going to a good cause.”

Jack smiled.  At this point, you both were on your second course.  He was surprised the evening was coming to a close so quickly. He used his napkin to dab his lips before asking,

“And what does my money get to do for you?” Jack asked.

“What do you mean?” You frowned.  “I just explained in length--”

“What it could do for your organizations.  For Tabitha, Irma, Niharika, and Mei Yu.”  Your eyebrows raised at how easily Jack recalled the names.  “But, what does it do for Y/n?  Are you going to put a down payment on a home? Buy a car? Buy a fancy dress?”

You paused.  The thought hadn’t occurred to you.  You gave it genuine thought before responding.  

“No.  I doubt that I could afford a home in the Bay Area and I don’t even know if I would want to if I could.  To be rooted there…I’m not sure if that’s what I would want long term.  Biking has been a great way for me to stay in shape, so I’ll probably stick with that. And…well, if you let me keep this outfit, I won’t have to buy a dress.”

“It’s yours.” Jack said, sipping his wine. “And anything else you receive from me during the next six weeks. No interest. No take-backs. Consider anything I give you a gift.”

“Why would you?” You asked. You couldn’t help, but feel like this is a trap. “Do that for me, I mean?”

“Because, I know what I get out of this.  And my label. And your organization.  But, I want to make sure that you get to enjoy this too.”  Jack gestured to the window with his chin. “The paps are monsters.  I don’t think I even know the half of it yet.  But now that we are a thing, it’s only going to get worse.  I signed up for this for life, but you…you’re doing me a solid.”

“Oh…” There was something in you the felt disappointed.  It sounded so business-like.  It wasn’t like in the movies where he wants to take care of you because he feels that’s his responsibility.  Not that he should.  Including today and the first day you met, you two had spent a total of 13 hours together.  You couldn’t mean something to someone in a short period of time.  And, you most likely never would mean something more to Jack.  If you ever crossed paths, you’d probably say hi, but that was about it.

Jack studied your features.  He couldn’t tell what he said that made you fall silent.  You did run an organization that empowered women.  Maybe insinuating that he would do things for you was like throwing crap in your face.  At the same time, Jack could tell that wasn’t it.  You were lost in thought and felt far away despite being so close to each other.

“Dessert’s coming.” Jack sang softly, alerting you.  He smiled softly seeing your eyes light up. You straightened as the waitress placed the dish in front of you.  You licked your lips as you dug in.

“I’m glad they chose you.” Jack said, after taking the first spoonful of chocolate out of his mouth.  “I was worried they would choose someone that was fake.”

“Fake?” You asked, eating a double time in comparison to Jack.

Jack laughed, and slid the rest of his dessert on to your plate.  You quirked an eyebrow and he shook his head.  He continued, “There’s a lot of smoke and mirrors in this business.  As I’m sure you know from your celebrity interviews, not everyone acts the same on and off camera.”

“You do.” You said, now digging into his slice of cake. “You’re the same annoying, arrogant asshole on and off camera.”

Jack’s eyes, which had been trained ahead, snapped to look at you.  When he saw the coy smile on your lips, he couldn’t help but return it.  The spoon half in your mouth and the other half pressing down on your lower lip was seductive in the most innocent of ways.

“What was that?” Jacked asked,

“I got you there for a second, didn’t I?” You teased.  You scooped some of your dessert on your spoon and extended it for him.

“I don’t really like sweets.” Jack confessed. 

“Come on…” You cooed, “...for the cameras.”

Jack’s intense eye contact as he bent over to put the spoon in his mouth and pulling back to get every streak of chocolate off of it before he chewed slowly made your heart stop. 

‘That was oddly attractive.’ You thought.  He was licking his pink lips, getting the remnants of chocolate off of it.  He twisted his head to the side as if realizing it was good, but he still wasn’t a huge fan of desserts.  All the while your hand remained frozen in the air because  you were staring mouth a gape at him.  In all honesty, you were teasing him.  You didn’t think he would do it, but now you worried that play dating maybe more complicated than you think.

“Did, uh, Samuel give us any rules for this arrangement?” You asked.

Jack frowned, the question coming out of the blue. “Uhm, not outside of the usual stuff.  Don’t do anything permanent: no tattoos, pregnancies, STDs, murder.  Don’t date anyone else until the six weeks are up. Don’t start dating someone as soon as the six weeks are up.  Don’t break up before talking to our respective teams.”

“The usual stuff?” You echoed, smiling at his list of “permanent” items.

Jack nodded. “Trust me, this is way too short of a list based on what I’ve seen people do out here.” Jack paused for a moment as if still trying to understand where your question came from. “Was there anything else you would like to add?”

“We should probably have a schedule or something.  We can do a few dates here and there to show that we do like each other. We should also get our story straight: how did we meet, how long we’ve been together, favorite things, common hobbies…”  You paused seeing the surprised look on Jack’s face.

“Have YOU done this before?” Jack asked.

A blush dusted your cheeks.  You weren’t the type to blush, but there was something about Jack and the way he said things that made your cheeks flush.  “I know my fair share of fake dating to-dos from Hollywood and the romance section of Barnes and Nobles.”

“You mean those sex novels with Fabio on the cover?” Jack teased.

You coughed. “No, these days they tend to be animated covers.” You blushed. “And they don’t always have sex in them.”

“Don’t always?” Jack pressed.  “Is this what everyone’s favorite little computational biologist is doing in between meetings?

“Anyway, back to the point.” You cleared your throat as you moved the conversation along. “Where did we first meet?”

“The taping for your video.” Jack said as you took notes on your phone. “But, I started following you when you first made that set of videos on number series.  With your mathematical remix of the School House Rock songs.”

“Did you really?” You asked, shocked. “We’re talking like my first few videos here.”

Jack gave a bashful smile. “Yeah, uh, when you first started I was in senior year of high school…they helped.”

Your eyebrows went up. “Oh…” He did that thing again, where he rendered you speechless. That was before your company was more than just a vague idea.  That was when you were making videos out of your dorm room for your younger family members and neighbors who you could no longer tutor miles away.  You didn’t think they were helping a young man in Louisville, KY.

“Your turn,” Jack swiftly moved to the next topic. “How did I ask you out?”

“You slid into my DMs.” You smirked.  “And then quickly moved to SnapChat, and then text and then in-person.”

“Huh, that actually sounds like me.” Jack pulled at the hair of his reddish brown beard. “And what made you say yes?”

“You looked sincere when you told me you would give me the world.” You said, not looking up from your phone.  You felt shy all of a sudden and didn’t want to meet his gaze.  You glanced up to see him also looking away drinking his water like it was the last glass on Earth.

For Jack, he wasn’t expecting such a sweet answer.  Most of the girls he talked to liked him because of his physical traits: his hands, his height, his eyes, his voice. Or they liked him for his music and what it represented: his fame, his money, his power.  Despite being a rapper, it was rare for a girl to fall for him solely for his way of words.  He worried you would toss the question back at him.  Why did he pursue you in the first place?  He knew he found you cute in a bookish, hot-for-teacher kind of way.  He loved the way your body filled out this outfit and he had to admit that he was imagining how it would look in other things -- or without anything.  He realized that the times he found you the most alluring was when you talked about your work.  You both had the same work ethic and passion.  That was it, you were passionate.  However, Jack knew that could be taken the wrong way, by you and the press, so he didn’t say anything. Luckily, you didn’t ask either.

~

Later that night, after you had been driven back to the hotel, Jack continued to go over in his mind the events of the evening as he took his nightly shower.  When Jack got out of the shower, he snorted when he saw that he had a link to a slide deck in his messages. He chuckled, opening it to see the details of your relationship.  He was sure that if you weren’t in STEM you could be a lawyer or a marketer. It was well-laid out and the perfect quick guide.  He smiled reading your interests when one caught his eye.  On a whim, he decided to FaceTime you.

It took awhile, as it usually does when you FaceTime a girl out of the blue, but you did answer.

“Uhm, hi” You said, fidgeting with yourself while looking at your own image in the bottom right corner.  You finally looked at him and gasped. “A-Are you naked?”

Jack blinked and looked down, almost bringing the phone down with him if it wasn’t for your scared yelp.  He chuckled.

“Sorry, I was standing in my towel and forgot. I just can’t get over this…your least favorite soda is ginger ale?”

“You called me naked for that?” You laughed at the ridiculousness.

“Yes because it’s absolutely wild to me.” Jack shook his head.

Your mouth was dry.  His curly hair was sopping wet which made it look very dark pressed against his forehead.  His skin looked soft and his eyes, with those long lashes, looked even softer.  His shoulders were definitely a great feature. They were broad and well-defined.  From the phone’s perspective, the furniture behind him looked so small just showing how tall he was.  No one was going to believe this was your boyfriend, no matter how many slides you wrote up.

“It’s like medicine to me.” You explained. “I only had it when I was sick as a kid.”

“I’m bringing you some Ale8.” Jack wagged his finger at you. “It’s a Kentucky version of ginger ale and it will change your mind. No, it will blow your mind.”

“I doubt that.” You shook your head and you smiled. “Any other questions?”

“Oh shoo-ing me off already?” Jack gave a fake pout. “Is this anyway to treat your boyfriend?”

“Fake boyfriend.” You corrected.  You couldn’t admit that you wanted to end the conversation because the longer you stared at him the more you wanted to see.  Laying in bed in a old t-shirt and underwear, talking to a shirtless Jack was bound to tease you.

“If you keep saying that, you’re going to mess up.” Jack shook his head. “We should think of nicknames for each other or something.”

“Check slide 17…” You yawned.  “...feel free to add your input.  They are Google Slides to which only you and I have access.”

“And Google.” Jack grinned.

You gave him a sleepy grin back. “Yeah, and Google.  Good night, Jackman.”

Jack rolled his eyes, clearly hating the usage of his name.  You would stop if annoying him wasn’t so amusing. “Good night, baby girl.”

Your cheeks flushed. “I don’t remember that being a sanctioned nickname.”

“I’ll add it then.” Jack smirked at the camera, “Especially since it makes you all flustered.”

He blew a kiss at you before hanging up.  The call ended as abruptly as it had started.  You put the phone on the nightstand and stared at the unfamiliar ceiling. You couldn’t remember the last time you went on a date.  The feelings in the beginning felt the same.  You had the nervous jitters as you got ready, the first and the second time. You and Jack spent quite a bit of time trying to get into the groove of things including awkward glances and laughs.  

But, the rest of the date was so different.  No guy had ever taken you to such a fancy restaurant.  Most of the guys you dated were PhD students who didn’t have a lot of money.  A fancy date was sitting in front of the fireplace on his laptop while sharing a cup of ramen noodles. Or, if you were the one splurging, Panera Bread. This restaurant had cloth napkins and wait staff that never let your glass get half empty.  There was a set menu where each option for all four courses looked just as good as the next with suggested wine pairings on a separate menu.  

Of course, this restaurant had Jack. You had done some research on the middle-class Kentucky boy, but he had this southern charm that made you swear he was a Rockefeller.  The way he looked out for you from wine to dessert was…sweet.  For a second, you forgot that you were being paid to be his date.  An escort, without the sex.  You closed your eyes and groaned at the thought.  You had debated telling people in your life about this, but that realization assured you to keep it to yourself.  Everyone had secrets and this would be yours.

The next day, you woke up to 17 missed calls.  Some from your mother, seven from Micah, and the remainder from Brenda.  You texted your mother that you had made it back to the hotel safely.  She was the only one who knew about your “business-date” in Atlanta. You had to tell someone. It was the only way to  make sure that your organs weren’t already being harvested by the time your loved ones realized you were missing.  You didn’t tell her who it was, not that she would know, but did mention that he was in a different industry to you.  Then you turned your attention to the remaining calls. Brenda was your work associate and a good friend.  She helped you run your non-profit. She was twenty years older than you, but young at heart. She had naturally curly red hair and bright green eyes, often referring to herself as Jolene when she was drunk.  She did cross fit three times a week and yoga the remaining four days giving her tall frame lean muscle all over. She was the person that grounded you.  You didn’t keep secrets from her because it made your job easy on your soul and on your mind.  You bit your lip as you called her first.

“I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP!” Brenda yelled.  You could hear her huffing. You had slept in to 12 pm, but it was still early in California.  She was most likely on a run and had stopped to yell at her.

“What? What?” You asked. “I told you I was in Atlanta.”

“NOT TO GO ON A DATE WITH JACK HARLOW!” She yelled again. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?”

You smiled a bit, ready to practice your lines that you rehearsed over and over in your head. “For Jack’s sake, really.  He wanted me to keep it quiet until we were ready to go public with our relationship. Today was the debut.”

“But…” You could tell Brenda was stepping to the side, probably leaning on a tree. “...how? When? What? Jack Harlow, really?”

Your teeth dug into your lower lip and sighed. “I know it’s uncanny, but he’s just so…charming. He has a surprising way with words.  He kinda got to me.”  You sighed. “We’re just dating it’s not like marriage.  He could dump me at any point.”

“I was wondering how we suddenly got funding for the E. L. Rodriguez project.”  Brenda said, you could hear her shaking her head. “$25,000 out of the blue? I should have known you had some kind of sugar daddy.”

You blushed. You had spaced out the $50,000 across different projects in hopes that Brenda wouldn’t notice.  The E.L.Rodriguez project, named after one of your good friends who was an avid member of organization who dedicated her life to researching breast cancer before losing the battle to it a couple years ago, was expensive.  The idea was to allow seniors in high school up to juniors in college have the opportunity to work in cancer research labs.  Equipment was expensive and resources were scarce.  They had to train the students use said equipment and prove that they wouldn’t be a liability. Liabilities were also expensive.

“Technically, I’m a little older than him.” You said sheepishly.  “He would have graduated college a year ago. I already have my masters.”  You went straight after college, so you were only a couple years older, not that you thought Jack minded.

“If you’re giving the sugar and he’s paying, he’s the sugar daddy.” Brenda laughed. “Well, honestly, I am just glad to see you having fun for a change.  You put so much into this…you deserve for someone to treat you like a princess. I mean that restaurant looked…”

“Wait…” You paused. “How did you know I was dating Jack?”

“Girl, you were on TMZ.” Brenda shook her head.  “I had to find out on Instagram.”

That explained Micah’s text messages as well.  Dammit. That was fast.

“I gotta call Micah.” Your voice coming out shaky.

“Oooh, they are gonna kill you.” Brenda cooed. “Good luck, doll.”

Brenda ended the call for you.  You took a deep breath. You sat up and grabbed your iPad from off your night stand and put it in the standing position with the help of its case.  You scrolled to your notes on Jack.  These were just for you and based on all the information you had gathered on him. You could tell you would need it for this next call.

The phone only rang once before you heard, “You lying bitch…”

Oh Micah. They were your closest friend.  You met during college and had been inseparable ever since. Micah was always the center of attention.  Curly hair often dyed in colors like pink and blue, large doe brown eyes, and a lanky frame that wore both suits and dresses well. Micah worked closely with the LGBTQ+ side of your organization.  You hoped they would lead it in the near future, but understood that they were currently drowning in their PhD program.  Not that it meant they weren’t spending time on TMZ.

“I never lied.”

“You told me you were in Atlanta for a business meeting.” Micah argued.

“Well,” You smiled to yourself.  Technically, you were at a business meeting.  “Jack said he wanted to take me somewhere nice afterward so, who was I to…”

“Somewhere nice? Somewhere nice?” Micah repeated. “That’s what I said when that Spanish dude took me to Applebee’s.  That’s what I said when that girl from Michigan took me to Nick’s Lobster House which was a bit more expensive then Red Lobster.  This is not somewhere nice.   This is somewhere freaking spectacular.”

You bit back a smile. “He may have been trying to impress.”

“Is that boy in your bed sheets right now?” Micah asked, “Because I am sure he didn’t do all this just for a kiss goodnight.”

You laughed. “Bold of you to assume he even got that.”

“You are cold.” Micah let out a shocked laugh. 

“There may have been a FaceTime call after. One of us fresh out the shower…” You weren’t lying, you just omitted a few details.

“Little Miss Y/n…” Micah took a deep breath. “Before we talk about how OUT of character this is for you, can you please explain how you started dating in the first place? Because I know you aren’t dating the straight white boy who got on Lil Nas X’s music video and begged for proof that he’s not gay.”

You frowned, already feeling defensive of Jack.  You scrolled through the notes on your iPad looking for the right answer.

“First of all, I believe Jack went with Lil Nas X’s complete vision for that music video. I mean have you met, Jack? He would not have been opposed to getting naked and doing that dance.”   You had seen enough of his “sus” videos to determine that.

“NO, Y/n, I have not met Jack.  So, I wouldn’t know what he’s like.” Micah chuckled softly. “I’ll be honest, I’m a little hurt you didn’t tell me. I mean finding out on the internet that STEM Geek Girl, which I had no idea was your YouTube name by the way, was dating Jack Harlow kinda shook me.  Like why would you keep that a secret?”

“I wasn’t sure if it was true. I mean Jack is Jack.” You said, scrolling to the top of your notes.  “I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t making a big mistake.  I’m still not sure.”

“Oh sweetie, I’m still mad and we are going to have a serious conversation about this when you get home…but congratulations. I’m happy to see you happy. I mean in the photos you looked so happy to be with him and he was looking at you like…anyway” Micah sighed. “See you tomorrow afternoon.”

“Bye…” You said, a bit dazed.

You felt guilty. Brenda and Micah just wanted you to be happy. They were so excited about your fake relationship. This sucked. How would they take it when this all ended in six months?  You picked up your phone and texted Jack.

You: Is my room service on you too?

In a few minute you got a response back:

Jack: Good morning to you too, princess

Jack: Like the name? New pet name just dropped.

Jack: Of course, sweetness, anything for you.

Jack: Oooh these are good. I’m on a roll…

You rolled your eyes. You could take a bit of teasing.  After all, you were about to eat your heart out on Jack’s dime. 

Jack sent you a quick text for your arrival. He smiled, checking out the room service menu sent via the hotel.  These were all sent to his accountant with him CC’d.  However, his curiosity was peaked. The total amount was $50.  He chuckled thinking about his first room service bill and the number of zeroes nearly gave his accountant a heart attack.   He found himself excited to spoil you more.

Unlike you, the news of his dating life didn’t effect Jack’s loved ones.  None of his friends or family texted him about it.  He didn’t even spend enough time on Twitter to see if it was trending.  People were so used to him being connected with any woman who was in his remote area that they didn’t waste their time worrying about it. Plus, the people closest to Jack knew he was a flirt.  Still, the people closest to him also knew that Jack wasn’t usually this lazy when it came to his dating life.  What would be the point of having everyone sign NDAs if he was just going to squander it by going public with everything he did? That was the reason Jack assumed that Urban asking about you.

“I didn’t know you were hanging out with Y/n.” Urban said, his long, blonde locks creating a curtain between him and Jack who was sitting on his left.

“Uh, yeah. She’s in town scoping the place for a new chapter for her business.  Figured I’d give her the tour.” Jack explained, vaguely.  They were sitting on the couch of their shared apartment, stomachs full from stuffing their faces with pizza, and absentmindedly watching whatever YouTube video while their food digested.

“To Bacchanalia?” Urban scoffed, “That’s not exactly the usual tour.”

Jack smiled a bit. “I guess there’s some mutual interest between us. Wanted to give her something a little special.”

“Really?” Urban asked, turning to face his friend, a hand resting on his protruding, stuffed stomach. “She’s interested in you? Romantically?”

Jack resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

“You’re rapper that scrapped his way through high school.  She has a master’s degree. A master’s of science degree.”  Urban shook his head.  “You spend most of your time in the studio writing songs and she spends most of her time showing people how to use liquid nitrogen.  What on Earth do you two talk about?”

There was a pause as Urban seemed to be reasoning his question in his mind. A smile spread across his lips as he wagged his finger at Jack. “I get it. You two don’t talk, do you? It’s a physical thing.”

Jack could feel himself getting offended.  He wasn’t sure why. Any other time, Urban would have been right.  Ever since he hit puberty, all of his relationships had a sexual element to them.  However, he knew that it was more than the fact that he was being accused of something he didn’t do.  It was because he was implying that you were like that too.  You were a busy person who barely had enough time to buy new clothes let alone sleep around with random celebrities.

“It’s not.” Jack finally responded through gritted teeth. “It’s hard being long distance and now that she might be coming to Atlanta, I want to ease into it.”

“We’ll see how long that lasts.” Urban said, folding his arms. “I’m sure we’ll all hear when you too got at it  anyway.”

Jack gulped.  He forgot about that. No one he knew would believe it that he didn’t have sex with his girlfriend. Should he just tell Urban it was fake? No, Sammy was very clear about keeping it in the boardroom.  But, it wasn’t like he could just sleep with you for the sake of keeping this secret. Or, could he? 

~

You took a deep breath.  You decided to tell Brenda the truth. It made more sense than any lie you could think of.  Especially since the condo was clearly not an AirBnB and even if it was, you couldn’t explain away the private driver.  Still, having your business partner and friend sitting on the couch, sprawled out in disbelief was not how you expected this day to go.  The condo was large and lavish with a gorgeous view of the city.  It was a one bedroom with a King sized bed, a spacious kitchen, and a open floor plan that would have made an HGTV enthusiast fall to their knees.  On your bed were at least seven pairs of leggings from Lulu Lemon, a few party dresses, a couple of casual sweaters and five pairs of shoes: three for parties and two for lounging.  There was a note from Jack welcoming you to your place and explaining that his stylist picked these outfit for you based on your conversation. The amount of leggings was an unfortunate reminder that she did indeed see the holes in your old ones.

“So, you’re not in the mafia then?” Brenda asked, looking at you.

You shook your head. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“Darn, I liked that theory way more than you winning the lottery.” Brenda grinned. “I can’t believe fake dating is real.  Well, not real real, just like a thing.”

“Apparently it’s all over Hollywood.” You shrugged. “I suppose it makes sense.”

“I mean, Jack seems sweet. And he’s good looking.” Brenda grinned.  “It’s basically a fling, right? A no strings attached arrangement.”

“Uhm, I think this is a bit more than just a summer fling.” You put your hands up. “Look at this place? There’s no way that me dating him for a short period of time makes all of this worth it for him.”

“Marketing is a hell of a drug.” Brenda shrugged.  “Anyway, this could be good for you.  It’s been awhile since you started a chapter from the ground up in a new city.  Plus, Opal and Jieun can now take on more responsibility in the SF office while you’re here.”

“I’m only going to be gone for a month.” The worry was evident in your voice. “Stop acting like I am relinquishing everything.”

“Whoa, whoa.” Brenda stood up and put a hand on each of your shoulders. “Y/n, I am not saying that at all.  I am just reminding you that this is a good opportunity for everyone in the company to grow.’

“I know…” You sighed softly.  “I just didn’t think it would be so weird.  I haven’t even told Micah. I don’t know why. I think it’s because there is some fun in being the girl who has it all. Even if it’s a lie.”

“Pshhh, why does having it all have to include a man?” Brenda asked you.  “And if there is a man, I like the one that updates your wardrobe and gives you a nice condo. Like can I get one off Amazon?”

You laughed.  Brenda always knew what to say.  She gave you a hug before flipping a fistful of red, curly hair over her shoulder.  She walked to the door, sashaying in her black pencil skirt suit to put on her shoes.

“I’ll give you time to unpack. I’m going to check out some of the real estate options for the chapter.”  Brenda explained, reminding you why you told her about this and brought her along in the first place.  Starting a chapter was definitely a ten person job, but with Brenda, you could make it just with you two.

You managed to squeak out an affirmative response when she left. It felt weird to be in this condo alone.  You walked into the bedroom to unpack your suitcase and put away the clothes Jack got you.  You paused, and decided to try the leggings on.  It had been so long since you had new leggings and such high quality ones at that.  You decided to snap a picture and send it to Jack along with a thank you message.  You didn’t think anything of it until you got his text back.

Jack: You’re lucky I was only showing my phone to Urb at the time. 

Jack: A booty shot too

Jack: Damn mama

You blushed at the red hot tongue sticky out emoji he sent with his last message. You told yourself that it was because Urban was reading over his shoulder. That had to be why he sent you that message.  It didn’t matter though, because your stomach was already doing back flips.

You: I only intended for that to be for your eyes 

You added the wink tongue emoji and smiled bashfully.  You removed the tags from the other leggings and tossed them into a pile to be washed. You would be getting a lot of wear out of those.  You eyed the party dresses curiously.  These weren’t your style, but they were your size.  You were too lazy to try it on, but you secretly hoped there would be an occasion.

Jack:  Btw, having an after party on Friday tonight.  Wanna come?

You smiled at your phone. Speak of the devil.

You: I’ll have to check my schedule, but I’m sure I can make it.

You went back to sorting your clothes.  A few moments later, you heard a notification.  You saw it was an email that Jack tagged you in a change on the slides.  You opened them up quickly on your phone to see your “Second Date” slot on your schedule slide had been updated with the address of his after party and a smiley face.  You grinned at your phone.  ‘Not bad, Harlow.’ You thought before prepping for the rest of your week. It was going to be a doozy.

~

Jack adjusted uncomfortably in his gray sweats.  He had been showing Urban a video in the car when your text came through.  He didn’t even read the message with his eyes so fixated on your ass in the picture.  He made a mental note to buy you twenty more pairs.  He blushed, resisting the urge to zoom in with his friend there.  Heck, even looking at it made him feel uncomfortable.  He knew you didn’t send it as a thirst trap, but you must have known how good you looked in.  The way they hugged your hips and cupped your behind was incredible. He didn’t understand why leggings cost so much money, but now he understood.

“I assume that taking it slow thing will be over by Friday night.”  Urban said, smirking at Jack knowingly.

Jack smiled a bit, but inside he was panicking. He still hadn’t talked to you about the sex thing. He figured that worst case, he could just say you had a headache and decided to go home. It was only six weeks, it wouldn’t be hard to keep avoiding the topic for so long.  As Jack stared down at the tent in his pants, he knew there was one part of his body that wouldn’t lie and he didn’t want you to see it.

On Friday, Jack knew he was excited to see you.  You both had been texting back and forth throughout the week.  It wasn’t lost on Jack that you didn’t have to talk to each other.  He texted you because he wanted to know how you were doing.  He liked it even more when you reached out first. For example, when you finally opened the fridge and saw the pack of Ale8s waiting for you.  He even FaceTime’d you for your first taste test which extended into talking during  your meal and then his and then before both you knew it the sun had set.  Or when you texted him frustrated about the conditions of a science lab at a local public middle school.  It was funny how enraged he was about the quality of beakers and lab stools now that he started talking to you.  Your passion was infectious and inspired him to share more with you as well.

Jack made an effort to get ready for the after party.  He took a full shower after his concert and spritzed himself with his favorite cologne. While his hair air dried, he picked one of his favorite outfits - an all white ensemble including a blazer, turtleneck and slacks.  He threw some product in his hair to make sure his curls were springy and made his way to the car to take him to the venue.

He probably asked his manager 20 times where you were only to consistently be given shrugged shoulders.  Jack was worried you may have gotten lost or stopped by security.  He kept checking his phone to see if you texted him, but he hadn’t seen a message from you since that morning.  He briefly wondered if you decided not to come, but given that this was one  of your three required appearances, you would have reached out to Sammy if you couldn’t make it.

Jack scrolled through his phone, when someone walked in front of him.  He looked up expecting you, but instead saw someone else.  It was a young woman he had flirted with in the past.  She reminded him of a young Sofia Vergara, minus the accent.  Her body filled out a spaghetti strap satin white dress effortlessly as she slowly walked toward Jack, twiddling her fingers.  She sat next to him, her hand resting on his knee.

“Hi Jack…” She whispered in his ear.  Jack felt a chill run up his spine. “I hear you’re a taken man.”

As he looked into her hazel eyes, Jack found himself in a spell.  He was remembering the last time he spent time with her--the curve of her body, the smoothness of her skin, the comfort of her movement.  He closed his eyes as he looked back at his phone, tapping the black screen to check for new messages.  Nothing.  

“Araceli,” Jack smiled at her softly. “You know I don’t talk about my personal life.”

“You’re an actions man.  Aren’t you, Jack?” Another voice said, sitting next to him.  Jack looked to his left to see another woman who was dead ringer for Megan Goode, but a little taller and long box braids that went down her back.  Araceli looked at the other girl and smiled.  Jack shook his head thinking, ‘Already best friends, huh?’ Jack sometimes hated when lyrics came to life.

“Keisha.” Jack let out a small huff that turned into a laugh. “Don’t tell me you’re also here to verify some rumors.”

“I don’t need to verify anything, Jack.” Keisha said, tossing her braids to reveal her bare shoulder and the top of her sparkly little black dress.  “Because as much as you’ve talked to me or Araceli, you have never taken us to Bacchanalia.”

Araceli pointed at Keisha, nodding. “Exactly.”

Jack rolled his eyes.  It wasn’t even his idea to take you to Bacchanalia in the first place. It was Samuel who said that it would be the best spot for the paparazzi.  If Jack had his way, he would have taken you to a sushi place he frequented with Drama.  He remembered you going on and on after the interview about your favorite sushi place being closed. Jack couldn’t wait to show that, while limited, there were good sushi options in Atlanta.  There was one spot in particular that had Bacchanalia prices, but with next  level privacy.  But, what’s the point of that when you’re fake dating someone?

The two women were talking across him, their knees bumping into Jack’s as their hands casually rested on his thigh or chest.  Jack kept his own hands forward, avoiding scooping behind each of their waists like he normally would. The last thing he wanted to do was to be snapped in that position.  He was already planning his escape when he looked forward and saw you standing there.

His mouth fell agape.  Jack knew this situation did not look great.  Why did you have the worst timing in the world?  He looked you up and down, wearing one of the dresses his stylist had picked out for you. One of the dresses he bought for you. It looked better than he could have imagined. It was a navy blue cami slip dress with thin spaghetti straps and satin that hugged your every curve. You wore silver open-toed block heel sandals that strapped around your ankles and gave you an additional two to three inches of height.  He watched you, stumbling a bit as you seemed unsure of what to do. Your phone was shaking in your hands and your purse awkwardly hung off your shoulder.  

Jack wanted to run to you and explain himself, but he knew that wouldn’t look any better. Thinking quickly, he raised his hand and waved you over,

“Y/n…baby, come here.” Jack said, surprised at how natural it felt for him to call you to him.

To Jack’s surprise and yours, you walked to him. 

 You were very tipsy.  It took you awhile to realize that Jack was in the VIP section upstairs.  You had arrived early, sat at the bar and ordered drinks to sip on.  Three drinks in you started to wonder if you got the wrong venue.  Just as you were about to double check, you heard someone next to you shout, “Jack just went upstairs!”

You started scanning the club and realized there was a whole elevated portion.  At the foot of the steps was a bouncer next to a sign that said VIP.  You pulled out your phone to use as a mirror and double checked that your makeup was in place.  Then you hopped off the bar stool and shimmed over to the VIP section.  The bouncer stared down at you and you started to babble.

“H-Hi, I’m Y/n.  I’m with J-Jack’s pa-party--”  The bouncer didn’t even let you continue to stammer.

“I know who you are.” His voice was deep and seemed to boom through your chest as he spoke.  He opened the red and gold divider blocking the stairs and added a polite, “Have fun” before locking it back.  You looked back at the sound of the click, feeling like you were at the point of no return.  Then you walked up the steps carefully, hoping not to fall.  You made it to the top and the first thing you see from the corner of your eye is Jack surrounded by two beautiful women.  You could have passed away right there.  Your cheeks burning with embarrassment, you made a beeline to the bar in the opposite direction.

You ordered another cocktail.  You were surprised when the bartender slapped it down and went to the next person. Open bar, nice.  You grabbed the cocktail and slurped it like it was water, your eyes fixated on Jack who you could barely see through the crowd of people between you.  

“This one’s on me.” You heard someone say.  You turned to your right to see Urban standing there with another one of your cocktails in his hand, in his other hand he had a beer.  

“Thanks, Urban.” You took the drink as he smiled.

“You remember me?” He asked.

“Yeah, you came with Jack for filming.” You grinned. “I never forget a face and if there’s a name attached it’s even easier.”

“Thanks I really…” Urban’s voice trailed off.  You weren’t sure why until you realized what you were doing.  You noticed your first cocktail wasn’t done so, you drained it and moved on to the next one without even bothering to put it down. There was genuine concern in Urban’s voice when he asked,  “You okay?”

“Fantastic.” You said, turning your gulps into sip in hopes of  not looking like you had a problem.  “Just a little nervous. Looks like I have pretty steep competition.”

Urban frowned, straining his neck to look over the crowd to watch Jack.  He looked down at you and shook his head.

“You’re his girlfriend now, aren’t you? There’s no competition.”  Urban grinned. “He’s been asking for you all night.  He may be wanting you to save him.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure he needs a lot of saving.” You started to gulp again and Urban took the glass back.

“Something tells me you need saving too.” Urban put the glass he took from you down and then grabbed the other one from your hand.

With the alcohol catching up to you, you couldn’t even protest.  You were already struggling to stand without swaying.  

“Just go over there!” Urban urged you, giving you a little push.

As you stumbled, you could feel Urban reach up to grab you, but you steadied yourself before he could. You took a deep breath and stood up straight.  You decided you would send Jack a quick text while you walked over to the couch area.  That was he could ready himself.  As you walked there, you realized it was a lot shorter of a distance than you expected. You couldn’t even open your phone by the time you looked up and saw those deep blue eyes staring back at you.  He looked good, very good.  You knew this was supposed to be your boyfriend, but seeing him next to those gorgeous women, you wondered how anyone would believe it.

When he called you over, your body moved before your mind could catch up.  The other women looked at you, waving, but not making an effort to get up.  You felt a little disrespected as you stood in front of him awkwardly.  Jack didn’t miss a beat.  He took your hand and pulled you into his lap.

“You made it.” Jack smiled, “I was worried sick.”

You pressed your lips in a line.  “It looks like you found ways to ease your mind.” 

Your legs were across Jack’s lap so, your back was facing one girl and you were directly facing the other. “Y/n.” You introduced yourself, reaching out for a hand shake.

“Araceli.” The woman in front of you said, giving you a little handshake.

You tossed your hand over your head, your depth perception a little off as you extended it to the woman behind you.  The woman laughed, surprised, as she introduced herself. “Keisha.”

“Y/n.” You said again.

“Where’s my hello?” Jack asked, smirking down at you.

You gave him a forced smiled and put up your hand for him to shake it.  He shook his head, a naughty smirk still pulling on his lips.

“Sorry, my hands are full.” He gave your mid section a slight squeeze to emphasize his point. “How about this instead…”

Jack leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss.  It was a soft, sweet peck that slowly morphed into a deeper kiss.  The metamorphosis of the kiss was thanks to you pressing your hand to the back of Jack’s neck. He didn’t seem like he minded, unlike his two party guests, who vacated the area after a few seconds.  Not that you noticed anything besides the softness of Jack’s lips pressing against yours.

You broke the kiss and Jack stared down at you, lips red and puffy and eyes hazed.  You blushed realizing you got a bit into character.  You were about to apologize.

“Sorry about that.” Jack said, “It was the best way to get them to leave. Apparently, they needed proof of our relationship.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have went in on the kiss like that.” You laughed. 

“I didn’t mind.” Jack said quickly and confidently. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been kissed like that. I think even I believed it.  My friends certainly did.”

You followed Jack’s gaze straight ahead to see Urban and a few other guys from Private Garden raising their glasses at you both.  Your cheeks burned and you looked away, not realizing you had such a large audience. You couldn’t tell Jack that it was a real kiss. You worried he would get the wrong idea.  You were just touch starved, you told yourself. Running a business was a lot of work and didn’t give you much opportunities to have your intimate needs met. It definitely wasn’t because you liked him or anything. Definitely not.

“How much did you drink?” Jack asked you, his voice coming out serious and almost paternal.

You frowned. “Uhm two?” 

Jack quirked an eyebrow. “Really, two?”

You didn’t like being caught in a lie and called out. Especially not by Jack. “Yeah, two.”

Jack removed his hand from your back and thus removing the support you were using to sit up. With little control over your body you plopped down flat on to the couch. You reached up to your chest to cover it, afraid of an accidental spillage as you struggled to get up.

“Either you’re a lightweight or maybe we need to double your original estimate.” Jack smirked, knowingly.

“Can you just help me up?” You asked sheepishly. When he hesitated, obviously for his own amusement, you added, “If a tit slips out, it’s your fault.”

Jack rolled his eyes, a little tuff of air being blown from his nose as he chuckled.  He didn’t say anything, but you could tell he was thinking about your tits as he pointedly looked away from them. Jack slowly lifted you to a seated position and you felt like you had just pulled into the exit area of a roller coaster.  He rubbed large circles into your back as you sat still across his back.  He continued speaking to you by whispering in your ear.

“You’re sloshed, Y/n.  Let’s go home.”  Jack’s voice was dripping with concern.

“No…” You protested. “...I’m fine. I’ve only been here for like five minutes. They are going to think it’s weird.  And won’t your friends have to leave too?”

“Who’s they?” Jack asked. “We made an appearance and it’s perfectly normal for celebs to leave early. Let’s just bounce.”

“They being everyone. The powers that be. The people who are doubting our relationship.” You explained.  “Don’t they need to see more?”

“Like your tits spilling out of your dress?” Jack teased as he pretended to let you drop again.

“Jack!” You yelled, surprised at how loud your voice came out. You covered your mouth and giggled.  This is what made Jack’s eyebrows raise.

“Y/n, how many drinks have you had?” Jack’s tone was serious again.

You bit your lip and put up a hand to show the number 5. It was like that settled it in Jack’s mind.  Jack waved Urban over as he helped you to stand.  You tried protesting, but saw from the way Jack’s jaw was set that there was nothing you could say to convince him now.  He was taking you home.  You hated to admit it, but you were kind of excited to be going to a celebrity after party. Yet 80% of your experience was sitting alone at the bar downstairs. This wasn’t the kind of experience that was going to make Micah hold their breath over bottomless mimosas.

The only consolation was Jack’s strong grip around you. His whole arm wrapped around your shoulders, crushing you to his side as he coordinated with his friends. He felt warm and smelled like what your dream home: clean and slightly floral.  As you subconsciously snuggled into Jack, you felt his body stiffen.  You clued into the conversation to understand what was going on.

“I figure Y/n is going to stay at our place tonight, right?” Urban asked as he texted their driver.  “I mean, she’s pretty faded I’m sure you want to make sure she’s okay.”

“Right…” Jack said awkwardly. He looked down at you, searching your eyes for any objection. You were a deer in headlights. “...at least until she sobers up. Then she can decide if she wants to go back to her place.”

“Her place?” Urban frowned, looking at you both. “Did you move down here?”

“No.” You responded, just as Jack responded with “Yes.”  

“Yes.” You quickly changed your response as Jack did the same by saying, “No.”

Urban narrowed his eyes.  You could feel the same panic that was rising in you was also rising in Jack. As if finally on the same wavelength you and Jack both shouted, “AirBnB.”

Mostly from relief of syncing up you both laughed a little too hard. Urban frowned, nodding a bit as he excused himself to call the driver.  You and Jack still had awkward smiles on your faces until he walked away.  Jack removed his arm from around you and put his hands on your shoulders.

“I need a favor.” Jack started, before nibbling on his lower lip.

“What kind of favor?” You asked, a lump in your throat.

“When we get back, we need to pretend like we’re having sex.” Jack’s voice was so low and deadpan, you thought you misunderstood.

“What?” You harshly whispered.

“I know, I know. It’s just, with the way I am, it’s hard for my friends to believe that I have a girlfriend and we aren’t sleeping together.” Jack twisted his mouth to the side.

“Why can’t you just tell them we haven’t had sex yet? It’s not THAT strange.” You folded his arms.

“Not if you have a track history like me.” Jack tilted his head to the side before adding. “And not if you have a girlfriend that looks like you.”

Your cheeks warmed again as you frowned. “W-What?”

Jack seemed like he didn’t want to say it again, looking away from you.  He took your hand in his and pulled you along.  You followed him out of the club, your ability to walk a bit less impeded than before, but you were grateful for the guidance.  Jack pulled you into the waiting car and held your hand on your way to his apartment.  He was silent, as were the other guys in the car.  You watched him, his Adam's apple bobbing as he kept swallowing on nothing. He stared at the window, taking deep breaths frequently.  It wasn’t till you realized the grip on his hand that he was nervous. It never occurred to you to ask Jack how he felt about all of this.  You assumed everyone in his circle was in on the deal, but it was clear that he didn’t tell anyone.  You wondered how hard it would be in the next few weeks when the deal was done. Would he come clean or play the broken hearted act for a few months?

At some point, you had fallen asleep. It was probably the smooth motions of the car and the sound of Jack’s breathing as it calmed.  When you woke up, your head was in Jack’s lap as you spread out on the couch. A blanket covered you and he was chatting with some friends.  You felt awkward to sit up, but your mouth was dry and the a tall glass of water on the table looked tempting.

You sat up slowly and Jack lurched for the cup. He picked up and  handed it to you. You thanked him as you put it to your lips and drank it slowly. It took a lot of willpower to not guzzle it. You were extremely thirsty.

“Do you want something to eat?” Jack asked, gesturing at the pizza boxes also on the table.

You shook your head, wondering how long were you out.  You glanced around Jack’s apartment which seemed like a bachelors’ pad. The only decoration were Jack’s plaques and awards assigned to his other housemates.  The furniture included the couch, a love seat, a tv stand, a coffee table, the tv and a stereo. There was no coaster in sight and there wasn’t enough ceramic plates for everyone, so most people used a paper plate. 

“How are you feeling?” Jack asked.

You blinked and yawned. “Much more sober.” You voice came out a bit raspy.

“Here,” Jack grabbed a bread stick from a box and ripped off a piece and fed it to you.  You opened your mouth and he popped it in there as he explained. “It’ll help your hangover tomorrow. Eat some more.”

You took the bread stick from him and took another bite.  It wasn’t too salty or too oily so, it went down easily.  You finished it quickly and he gave you another, holding your glass for you.  Once you finished that he gave you back your glass of water for you to finish up. You sat there awkwardly, the blanket draped across your legs, your brain slowly registering everything.  As Jack smoothed his hand over the back of your head, going back to his conversation, you suddenly realized that little display was done in front of his friends.  It felt so natural.  His friends didn’t even bat an eye.  You blushed, realizing you were technically being pet in front of them, and got up.

“What do you need?” Jack asked looking up at you.

“Bathroom?” You asked.

Jack nodded.  “Use the one in my room, first door on the right.”

You nodded, staring down the long hallway.  As you walked to Jack’s room, you remembered his request to you at the club.  He wanted you to pretend to have sex with him.  In your mind, you pictured yourself as two porn star actors, with porn star bodies of course, using strategic angles to mask your nudity and the connecting of parts.  You stifled a laugh as you entered the room.  That was a little over the top, even for Jack.

Jack’s room was neat with lots of white.  It made you a bit worried to touch anything in fear of leaving a mark.  You found the bathroom and peed for what felt like an eternity.  As you washed your hands, you gaped at your appearance. Your makeup had smudged around the eyes from sleeping and around the lips from….the kiss.  You leaned against the sink, touching your lips subconsciously as you thought about the kiss.  It was a great kiss and thinking about it made your heart beat faster.

You jumped when you heard the door open and footsteps enter Jack’s room.  Jack leaned on the doorway of his bathroom smiling. 

“Showtime?” You asked him.

“Almost…we can’t rush it.  I’m a slow and intimate lover.” Jack grinned, pretending to massage the air.

You rolled your eyes and pushed past him.  He followed you into his bedroom and you plopped down on the foot of his bed.

“How should we do this?” You asked him.

“I figured we could bounce on the bed, add a bit of moans, maybe make the headboard slam…” Jack shrugged.  “Then about an hour or two from now, you slip on one of my shirts and walk into the kitchen to get water or something.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him. “You expect me to believe that you thought of that all just now?”

Jack laughed, sitting down next to you. “I’ve had a week to consider it.  Since Urban implied that we had a sexual relationship.”  

You shrugged and Jack frowned at your nonchalant response.  You kicked off your shoes, kicking your feet as you stared out the windows to your right.  Sensing that Jack was waiting for you to respond you quickly said,

“That makes sense.”

“Why?” Jack asked, alarming you.

You looked at him, your brows knitting together to create a line.  “Well, it’s not like you’re known for being Mr. Commitment.  And what else would the two of us be doing?”

“Perhaps we are having stimulating conversations?” Jack offered.

You laughed loudly.  You were about to slap your knee when you saw the serious look in Jack’s eyes.  Your cheeks burned as you turned your laugh into a cough.  You just figured out he wasn’t joking.

“Jack,” Your voice came out gentle. “Can you really blame anyone for thinking we have nothing in common?”

“No, of course not.” Jack folded his arms.  “But, you should know better. I mean, you wrote slides that have our similar interests and public talking points.”

“None of which we got to use today, by the way.” You added.

Jack turned his head, giving you a strange look. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” You pressed your palms into your thighs, staring down at them. “...that we are two weeks into the agreement and it doesn’t seem like we have to do much of anything.  Besides, this little fake sex charade. I’m happy to have the easy money, but I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed.”

“Disappointed?” Jack asked. You could feel his eyes trained on your side profile.

“Yeah,” You laughed, still not looking at him. “It’s stupid, I know, but I guess I was excited to act the part of Jack Harlow’s girlfriend.  I only told my business partner, Brenda, the truth since she came with me to Atlanta, but everyone else: my family, friends…they all think it’s true.  I mean my best friend, Micah, they couldn’t believe it. Me? Y/n? Dating a rapper? I was kinda excited to play the part. Not be me for a bit.”

Jack groaned, shaking his head as he bent forward.  His fingers raked his curls forward and you watched the ringlets straighten and spring under his grasp.  He let out a few sighs before sitting up again, meeting your eyes.

“That’s what I’m talking about.  Why do you and everyone else think that this can’t be real?” Jack asked. “Why do you have to put on a character to be my girlfriend? The whole reason you were chosen was because it’s supposed to be unexpectedly believable…”

Your eyebrows went up in surprise.  “I guess it just seems like a mismatch of levels.  I mean a 9 and 3, that’s a pretty big gap.” You chuckle softly.

Jack’s eyes widened. “A three? You think I’m a three?”

You sputtered out a life. “Oh god no…I was talking about myself. You’re the nine.”

“You’re the three?!” Jack practically shouted. “Are you out of your mind? You’re a solid 10, no doubt.”

“A 10…” You laughed. “You think I’m a 10?”

“An 11 when you smile.” He grinned at you and you felt yourself blush. 

“You too…” You muttered. “I only gave you a nine in hopes of knocking you down a peg.”

“Ah right because I’m a…what was it? An annoying, arrogant asshole?” Jack repeated your words to you, grinning wider.  “Isn’t that what you said on our first date?”

You bit your lip, not bothering to hold back a smile.  “You have a good memory.”

“You’re very memorable.” Jack said, his hand dancing behind your ear and down your cheek.

The touch was feather light but each place his fingers touched were on fire.  You swallowed, not expecting his gaze to be held by yours. You couldn’t look away. You could feel your stomach doing loop-di-loops and wondered how much of it was the alcohol in your system waiting to come up.  You knew it was nothing, but butterflies.

You grabbed a pillow to hit him with it, earning a laugh as he caught it before it hit his face.  “Shall we start?”

“Showtime!” Jack laughed.  

He tossed the pillow to the top of the bed. You scooted back and jokingly tapped the space next to you.  For some reason, you weren’t thinking about how short your dress was as it rode up your leg with each wiggle upward. You were too giddy about your little prank.  Jack got off the bed and surprised you by belly flopping on the spot next to you. It made a large boom sound.  You laughed and Jack laughed as well. You followed suit and began rolling on the bed, causing it to creak and rustle. Jack laid on his back rocking the bed back and for to give a test tap on the wall.

“Alright, we gotta sink these up.” Jack whispered, you could feel his warm breath on your ear. “I’ll hit it against the wall and you gotta give me your best moans. Got it?”

“Shouldn’t we do some foreplay first?” You whispered back.

Jack’s eyes widened as though for a second he thought you meant for real.  He composed himself quickly.  “What should we do?” 

You blushed.  “Turn away, I can’t do it if you’re watching me.”

Now, Jack was very confused, but he did as he was told.  You rested your head on the bed and closed your eyes.  You were nervous, but you decided that you would commit to your performance.  You let out a loud moan. It wasn’t super theatrical, but it was not the usual sound you would make.  You could feel Jack’s head snapping towards you from the movement on the bed, but you refused to open your eyes.  

“Ah, right there…” You moaned out loudly.  “...that’s the spot, Jack.  Just like that.”

You heard a slap sound and realized it was Jack covering his mouth to stop from laughing.  The slap sound was loud and, emboldened you decided to work it  into the performance.

“Oh yeah…slap it again, Jack.”  You let your voice sound soft and desperate.

You could feel Jack’s hesitance.  Then you heard it, a loud slap.  Most likely, he was slapping his own thigh because you didn’t feel anything on you.

“Yeah, that’s it.  You know what I like…zaddy.”  You were adding more breathy moans in between your words to make it more believable.

“I’m c-close,” You moaned out. 

You could hear Jack shuffling next to you, keeping himself together.  He gave a loud, husky whisper, “Not yet…”

You opened your eyes, surprised to see two dark blue ones staring down at you.  There was a pause before both of your suck your own lips back in trying to hide your laughter.   You covered your mouth, tears welding in your eyes.  Jack let out a few loud breaths to keep his composure. You mouthed to him, “Your turn.” And he nodded.

“That’s a tough performance to beat.” He whispered into your ear.

He laid back on the bed and closed his eyes.  This time you got to watch him. At this point, you noticed that he had changed from what he wore at the club.  He was wearing a white hoodie and baggy gray sweat pants.  In the dark of his room with only the light from the window peaking through, you couldn’t really make out his features.  You filled them in because you knew them: the curve of his lips, the broadness of his shoulders, the narrowness of his hips and the size of his…whoa, how long had that been there?

Your eyes darted back up to his face, resisting the urge to take another peek.  Jack let out a little whimper that was so high pitched and embarrassing that it had to be a real sound he would make. Unlike him, you could silence your laughter without making a loud slap and did so.  He let out loud, throaty groans as he stroked the sheets beside him.

“Oh yeah…” Jack groaned out.

“You like when I do that?” You edged him on.

You saw his lips twitch into a smile, but he pressed them together. Once he got himself  under control, he let himself speak again.

“Yeah, put that mouth to good use.” He grunted out.  “Make me feel good like I know you can.”

You had never wanted to laugh and touch yourself at the same time. It was ridiculous. He was just laying there, hiding back his laughter making lewd noises and commands.  And yet, it felt good.  If you closed your eyes, you could imagine what it would be like to be actually with him.

“S-Sh!t…I’m gonna…” Jack groaned out.  It sounded so real, you checked his crotch half expecting to see it damp.  It was not--unlike yours--but it was a bit bigger than you remembered it.  You weren’t going to point it out, of course.  That would admitting that you looked in the first place.

“Put it in me…” You yelled, making Jack jump. He reminded you of small animal startled by a big noise.  You felt bad, but it was way too funny for you to feel guilty for long.

You almost broke down and laughed if he didn’t leap forward and cover your mouth. He had that big grin he made whenever he wanted to stop laughing, but couldn’t stop himself.  You held his hand to your mouth, tears pouring from your eyes.  Jack shook his head, chuckling softly, resting his forehead on the bed.  You could hear his soft laughs in your ear and it was soothing.  You let go of his hand and he slowly lifted it from your mouth.

“Remember,” He whispered, not lifting his head yet.” We gotta sync up.”

“I know…” You whispered back.

Jack slammed the bed on to the wall and you let out a moan. He did it again and you gave a little grunt.  At the third slam, he joined in and you both harmonized. This started another fit of laughter to which both face planted into the bed to control.  He tapped your back three times to signal you were starting again.  You flipped back on to your back, closing your eyes waiting for the sound of the headboard slamming against the wall.  You moaned again, chanting his name.  With the sounds of his grunts and groans and the feel of the bed swaying more and more, your body seemed to think that you were actually doing the deed.  You felt warmth pooling in the pit of your stomach and some of the hot liquid making it to your nether regions.  Your moans, while still put on, were a bit more real in their timidness.  

“More, more…” You moaned out, happy that you didn’t have to hide your yearning.  Your eyes squeezed shut, imagining Jack actually above, actually inside of you.  The warmth radiating from his body made it feel too real.  You fought back tears as you realized how much you kinda wanted this to be real.  Even if it was just for tonight, to enjoy this wonderful benefit of being Jack’s girlfriend that everyone assumed you already indulged in. For now, you had to settle for the quick rhythm of the bed, propelled unfortunately by Jack’s feet and not his hip thrusts.

“Give it to me, baby.” Jack grunted, his voice sounding raspy and hoarse.  

The part of you that liked torturing yourself made you wonder if he was thinking the same thing as you.  If he was also wondering if you could break one of the many rules on those slides. 

“F-ck, Y/n.” Jack groaned out.

“Ah…Jack…”

Jack kept up the rhythm as he slowed it down naturally.  When you opened your eyes, it was like coming back to life.  Jack had just opened his eyes as well and you were both laying on the bed like two children making snow angels side by side. You were both actually sweating, but not as much as if you had actually done the deed.  You were also both panting, but again not as much. You sat up, quickly glancing at his groin and felt a wave of disappointment at seeing that, while still prominent, there was no wet spot on his crotch.  You wished you could say the same for your own underwear.

“So, how long should I wait before Operation: Get Water From Kitchen?” You asked in a whisper.

“You can change now, if you like.” Jack offered. “If we do that, we can still get you home in a couple hours.”

Right. That was the deal.  You wouldn’t be spending the night.  Even for a fake relationship, it would be a lot to share a bed. You could easily think up an excuse to tell his friends if they saw you leaving.  Early meeting tomorrow. Brunch with Brenda.  Need real shampoo.  Anything would do.  There was no point in being upset or sad about it.  You were getting paid $150,000 in a couple of weeks to not have sex with someone. How many people got this lucky?   

You bit back your lip to hide your frustration.  You stood up, trying not to look at Jack as you felt emotions welding up inside of you.  You finally realized that you felt rejected. After all that talk about being a eleven and you couldn’t even spend the night.  Shouldn’t he be crawling at the chance to spend the night with you? 

“Where can I get a shirt?” You asked.

“Top drawer.” Jack pointed to the dressing table. 

You opened it and grabbed a bright yellow shirt.  You unfolded it and it was about the length of the midi dress you had on.  You walked into the bathroom and closed the door.  You stared at yourself in the mirror, tears welding in your eyes.  You felt silly for getting aroused. You felt rejected for being the only one. You felt angry that you didn’t have the guts to just go for it.  You did your best to remove your make up with the face wash Jack had on the side of the sink.  Then you slipped off your dress and replaced it with the shirt.  It felt comfortable.  So, comfortable, wearing a bra felt like it defeated the purpose so you slipped that off too.  You folded your dress and put it on the counter, laying your bra on top.  You walked out to see Jack still laying face up on the bed.  He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at you.  You jokingly rested on hand on the doorframe and posed.

Jack grinned at you with those perfect straight, white teeth that glistened in the light from the window. “Perfect…” He whispered.

You felt that one right between your legs.  You gave him a soft smile as you marched out of the room and into the hallway.  It didn’t take acting to pretend to be embarrassed as you walked out.  Some of his housemates and a few other friends were still in the living room.  You pretended to hide your face as you walked out and into the kitchen.  A few of them gave you slow claps making you let out a soft laugh.  You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks as you poured two glasses of water.  None of them said anything else as you sped past them back to Jack’s bedroom.  You had left the door slightly ajar so you were able to kick it open.  You placed the water on the table he had next to the door and turned around to close.

“I think they bought it…” You said, turning around.

And there was Jack standing shirtless with his gray sweatpants hanging low at his waist. His curly hair was tousled from him playing with it earlier and looked golden brown in the reflection of the street lights.  He looked broad and strong.  His stomach was flat, but soft.  Your throat got dry as you followed the happy trail of hair to his crotch and saw just how hung he was.

“I was worried if Urban was going to walk in so, I figured I would take off some stuff too…” Jack said, sheepishly. 

“Uhm, yeah…makes sense.”  You looked away from and sat on the further edge of the bed.

“Y/n…” You could hear the smile in Jack’s voice. “...thank you for this. I promise after it’s done, I’ll explain to them.”

“No, it’s fine.” Your response came out high and squeaky and way too fast.  It seemed to startle Jack.  He didn’t move for a moment.  You were sitting there, trying to calm yourself down.  Your heart was pounding and your face felt so hot you thought it would fall off.

“Y/n…I know what’s happening” Jack said in a low voice.

“What do you mean?”  You asked, whipping your head around. “Nothing’s happening.”

“You’re uncomfortable…” Jack said, sitting on the far edge of the bed looking at you. “Because I’m on brick.  It’s a natural thing…I promise it’ll go down. You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

“Afraid of you?” You frowned. “Why would I be afraid?”

“I mean, what kind of guy gets turned on from fake sex?” Jack shook his head with a laugh.

“Anyone who watches soft core porn?” You offered.

Jack gave a half laugh, most of it coming out as air passing through his nose.  “This is like ten times worse…it’s like…”

“Like what?” You asked.  Your mind was already filling in the blank.  It’s like I don’t actually want to sleep with you.

Jack looked away from you and for a moment you saw someone who wasn’t always confident. Just for a second before he met your eyes once more. “Like I am incapable of being around you without getting like this.”

“I mean isn’t this the first time?” You offered.  The silence was a shocker.

Jack cleared his throat. “No.” He laughed a bit, glancing down.

It was your turn to fall silent.  You weren’t sure if you should tell him the truth. That you were also having inappropriate thoughts about your fake boyfriend. Or, would it be better to keep it quiet and let nature run its course until you had to leave.  You thought about how you felt in the bathroom: sad, rejected, and horny.  If you went home, you would feel all those things, but also cowardly.  You were a go-getter.  You never backed down for your company, why should you settle for yourself?

You swallowed. You scooted closer to Jack and saw him tense up a bit.  He was looking down at you, mostly at your lips as you inched forward. You stopped when you were sat right next to him.

“Would you like to…?” You bit your lip, staring at him intently.

“Would I like to what?” Jack asked, cupping your face in his hand.  As you visibly relaxed into his touch, you could see the smile stretching across his lips.

“You know…” You blushed as his thumb rubbed circles into your cheek.

“I want to hear you say it.” Jack said, inching closer to your face. “I really want to make sure we are on the same page here, because it will be so so so terrible if we’re not.”

“F-ck…for real.” The words left your lips only for a second before Jack’s lips crashed on to yours.  You let out a satisfied sigh, as he scrambled into his lap, your moist core resting on top of his excited groin.  That earned you the deepest and throatiest groan from Jack  you heard all night.

“You’re perfection…” He moaned against your lips, his hands caressing your body through his shirt and he kissed you hungrily.

You kissed back, wrapping your arms and legs around him, not wanting to let go.  Your hips slowly grinded into him and Jack tossed his head back, thus breaking the kiss. Swears fell out of his mouth including ones you were pretty sure he had made up.

“Wouldn’t they wonder…if they hear us again?” Your voice was breathy.

Jack smirked as he tossed you on the bed and climbed on top of you. He gave you another peck on the lips earning him a bright smile from you.

“They’ll think it’s round two.” Jack mused.

He gave you another kiss on the neck and into the crevice of your neck said, “And maybe, three…” 

He gave you another kiss on the collarbone and added, “And maybe four…”

You let out a moan and Jack pulled back to smile at you. “Your real ones sound even better…”

You weren’t able to think of much of a response because before you knew it, you saw a mess of curly hair in between legs and tickling your core.

~

For the next couple of weeks after your actual night of passion, other aspects of your relationship with Jack were feeling less fake.  You had one last public date which was at Six Flags.  The rest of your meetings with Jack were oddly secret. 

There were the times he would sneak in after a business meeting with a potential school or legislator with a your hot beverage of choice.  There were times where it was you popping into the studio to bring him lunch. You both texted all the time about dumb stuff from weird dreams to conspiracy theories.  

You started to rely on the slides less and less when asked about your relationship by Micah or your parents.  You would stare at your phone hoping that it would light up with a notification from Jack saying he was outside your apartment after a long night…only for you two to make it longer.  You could tell that you really liked Jack and was dreading that next week was your break up week. Brenda, who was the only other person who frequently saw you in-person was starting to ask too many “what-ifs.”  Her favorite was “what if you don’t break up?”  Her second favorite? “What if you let it be real?”

Every time you thought about it, there was a lump in your throat.  After years of working with pro-bono lawyers, there was one set of advice that never changed.  Always read the contract.  And you did.  Your contract with Jack’s agency stated that you would receive the remaining payment of $150,000 on the day of your and Jack’s break up.  You and Jack needed to break up in order for you to get the check.  There was property being bought and employees being hired in Atlanta.  You needed that money and the later investment that came with it. If you cut the project short, word would get around.  People would put two and two together and realize that you ended a project because of a break-up.  Not the greatest look for a woman empowering other women in STEM.  So, you shoved down the idea in the depths of your soul.  Even though every single text from Jack felt like a dagger and hot tears rolled down your eyes after every sweet “good night” he said before ending your nightly call.  This wasn’t the first time you had chosen your business over yourself and it wouldn’t be the last.  This pain was familiar, but it didn’t make it easy.

It was a random tweet that made Jack realize how badly he had it for you. It was a picture snapped of you two at Six Flags.  You were both standing in front of a concession stand and you were deciding between a milkshake and Dippin’ Dots.  Jack was waiting for the opportunity to tell you that he was going to get you both.  He would buy the whole dang Dipping Dots vending machine and bring it home if that’s what you wanted.  And yet, it wasn’t that thought that told him that he was down bad. It was the picture captured showing the way he looked at you and the tweet adding the caption, “Crying and throwing up because no one looks at me the way Jack looks at Y/n.”

‘Dammit.’ Jack thought letting out a deep breath. He put his phone down and called Sammy.  He didn’t know what he was going to say so, when Sammy picked up quickly, he babbled a bit.

“Ay, Sammy!” Jack said.

“Jack!” Sammy yelled.  “Yo, man,I gotta tell you, the numbers are looking good.  We have sold out of your merch in the last two weeks.  Last week, you trended under #BFJack. I mean, this has been great…worth every penny. Great work.”

“Well, it hasn’t been much work, if I’m being honest.” Jack chuckled softly.

“Yeah, I’ve heard you’ve been enjoying the benefits of having Y/n as a girlfriend.” Jack could imagine Sammy shaking his head. “Glad you’re really getting into character.”

“Listen, what if this isn’t a character, Sammy?” Jack finally blurted out. “What if I wanted this to be more?”

There was a silence on the phone.  Jack could hear the sound of a printer whirring in the background and a cooler lightly bubbling with water.  He was a bit concerned Sammy had passed out because he couldn’t hear him breathe.

“Jack, that would put Y/n in a serious bind.” Sammy’s voice was in his lawyer tone, the one he claims he no longer had after he left corporate law after two years for marketing.  “If she’s actually your girlfriend, we have no standing to support her chapter.  She’s not an investment in your future anymore, she’s just a sugar baby.”

Jack frowned deeply.  “Don’t talk about her like she’s some thing.  She’s still my girlfriend.”

“For the next week.” Sammy reminded him, a bit coldly. “After that she gets a big fat $150,000 check and, if the deals I negotiate go well, a total of $300,000 spaced out over the next three years.”

“She’s not materialistic.” Jack argued. His head was starting to hurt from frowning so deeply. “She doesn’t care about money like that. I’m sure if--”

“Don’t put her in that position, Jack.” Sammy said, warningly.  “Look, Jack.  I’m glad that you are finally feeling the little flutters in your belly for someone because, honestly, I don’t think you have for the three years I’ve known you.  But, I’m sorry that it’s for her.  That girl is tough as nails, but she has a breaking point. If I can’t get her this money, her career is going to go in the toilet after she fails to make this Atlanta chapter and she will probably bankrupt herself trying.  Don’t forget that she is getting paid because YOUR reputation got the boost. That was your payment, don’t deny her hers.”

Jack hung up the phone.  He would apologize to Sammy later, but he was angry. He knew Sammy was right, but he hated it.  He knew you would pick him.  Without much thought, Jack made his way to your apartment. He was filled with a range of emotions by the time he made it your door.  He stormed in, pushing past you.  You closed the door as you murmured, “Hello to you too.”

“I just talked to Sammy!” Jack yelled, spinning around to face you, still near the door.  “You know what he said? He said that we can’t be together after this week.  Like not even if we break up and get back together. He said you are in it for the money.  But he doesn’t know about us? What does he know?”

Jack was breathing heavy when he finally stopped to look at you.  You were standing there, avoiding his eyes.  Jack glanced around the apartment.  All of your stuff was in a suitcase with a few items on the couch, about three days worth.  Most of the clothes he gave you, unworn, were on the other side of the couch neatly folded.  The synapses in his brain started firing and he looked at you incredulously.

“You’re really ready to end it?” He asked, the crack in his voice surging through you.

“Jack…” You stepped closer to him.  There was no reaction from Jack. His eyes were dead, his body limp and lifeless.  He had already given up. “....baby,” The nickname rolled off your tongue so easily over the last few weeks, but for some reason it was choked in your throat.

“I realize that I was the one didn’t know anything.” Jack’s voice was not the usual smooth drawl. It was dark. You recognized it immediately as pain. It was like some kicked him in the stomach, and that someone was you.  His lip curved into a half smile as he scoffed. “I-I uh thought this was going somewhere. I thought you actually liked me.”

“I did!” You walked closer to him. “I do!”

Jack stepped away from you and your eyes widened.  You continued, “It’s just that without the money…”

“You would ruin your precious career, I get it.” Jack was looking through you, his blue eyes were so clear and glossy.

You face tightened. “Yes, my career, Jackman.” 

“There you go with the government name…” Jack muttered rolling his eyes.

“You don’t get it do you?” You stepped closer to him.  “What do you lose by us staying together? Nothing. What do I lose? My reputation and $150,000 plus whatever Sammy is able to squeeze out later. That’s five people I have to tell they don’t have a job. That’s three investors I have to inform that they money will be returned to them.  That’s 100 students who will be told that the surprise their computer science teacher has been hinting at for weeks fell through.  What do you lose if we break up after the designated date? Nothing. What do I lose? My reputation and $150,000---oh wait, the exact same thing.”

You pretended to slap your forehead like you just figured it out. “Don’t you get, Jack Harlow?  You lose nothing from continuing this. But when you move on to the next Keisha or Araceli, I would have nothing.  I’m not going to pretend that I don’t want more, but I have to think outside of…”  You hesitated for just a moment. “...five weeks of infatuation.”

Jack nodded slowly.  “You’re right, I get it.”  Jack sucked in his lower lip still nodding slowly. “Nah, you’re right. It’s actually good that we end it now. After all, if you think I’m just going to move on from you in such a flash, what’s the point in even trying?”

Tears welded in your eyes.  You shook your head, “Come on, Jack.  Everyone knows that kind of guy you are.”

“No, everyone thinks they know who I am.” Jack glared down at you, “but only a few people get to see all sides of me. The truly vulnerable sides of me. I thought you were one of them.”

Jack moved past you and walked towards the door. He reached out for the doorknob, but then stopped and turned around.

“I know it may seem to you and Sammy that I have nothing to lose, but I have my freaking pride, Y/n.  I would have put all of it on the line if it meant that I could have you. I would have gladly stood up to whatever label or powers that be who said anything about me continuing to support your business.  I would have put my career on the line.  It’s great you and him were so worried about protecting you.  But, damn, could you at least try to think about us?”

Jack paused as if giving you a chance to speak.  You couldn’t say anything to that. Jack opened the door and slammed it shut.  The sound triggered the tears to fall from from your eyes.  Loud sobs left your lips as you shook with sadness.  You needed someone to tell you that you did the right thing. Because you regretted everything at the moment.

~

You appreciated the fact that Micah hugged you and heard you out before scolding you for lying to them.  The moment you saw their rainbow curls trudging into the apartment, tears were streaming down your cheeks.  Micah tossed their suitcase to the side as they embraced you.  They took the first red-eye flight out of SF to be by your side. Micah consoled you while Brenda busied herself with the copy of your contract.

“Look,” Micah said, “I see where both of you are coming from.  I mean 200 thou is a lot of money for the org, Y/n. I mean, my little LGBTQ+ sector would thrive in Atlanta.  We have so many queer and BIPOC cons here, it would be like networking city.  At the same time, if a man was buying me gifts, bringing me coffee, singing me lullabies to sleep over FaceTime, and willing to--and I quote--put my career on the line for us…”

Micah re-enacted the TikTok meme of them slamming their credit card on the table.  You laughed a bit, but a few tears streaked out thinking about how wonderful Jack had been to you.  If Jack was the playboy that every said he was, either he had a lot of time on his hands and invested way too much into his side pieces, or, he was down bad for you.

“What can I do?” You asked. “I mean the contract is pretty clear. And even if Brenda finds a loophole, I doubt Jack wants anything to do with me.”

“Feelings don’t expire because of one argument, Y/n.” Micah reminded you. “But, you may need to kiss his ass. Maybe literally if he’s into that.”

That got a deep, belly-shaking laugh from you. Brenda sat back, grasping your attention.  You and Micah looked at her expectantly.

“So, there isn’t much you can do about the funds through these channels if you and Jack don’t break up next week.” Brenda gave you an apologetic look.  “However, if Jack were to make the donations on his own, it could work.”

“You mean, ask Jack for $150,000?” You asked. A pit developed in your stomach as you gulped.

Brenda nodded. “As well as become a long time donor.” 

“I can’t ask Jack for money!” You argued, throwing your hands in the air. “That’s like asking him to pay me to be his girlfriend. He already thinks I’m money hungry…”

Micah shook their head. “I think you misunderstood, Jack. I don’t think he was mad about you needing the money. I think he was mad that you didn’t think you could solve the problem together.”

“What do you mean?” You turned towards Micah, a clench in your chest.  Could there be hope?

“Think about it. Jack was not angry at you until he saw that you had given up.  He was mad at Sammy because had as well.  He expected that of his agent, but I’m sure Jack thought you would have more faith in him than that.”

A pang of regret hit your chest.  You knew Micah was right.  If you told Jack, like a partner, what was going on, he would have happily brainstormed ideas.  Instead of being glad that your feelings were mutual, you pushed Jack away.  You made the decision to end your relationship without once asking him how he felt.  If you were in his shoes, you wouldn’t have just stormed away, dejected.  You would have keyed his car.

“How do I fix this?” You asked looking between Brenda and Micah.

The two of them shared a look before looking back at you. “We can’t answer that, sweetheart.” Brenda said. “You know Jack better than we do…”

~

Jack stared at his friends, their mouths wide open as he told them the full story.  After spending a day being snippy, he figured he should at least tell them why. He had the hood on his hoodie up as he saw in the love seat, legs wide and arms folded.   He kept his head down, unable to look his friends in the eyes.

“Any questions?” Jack asked.

“So, all the sex and gifts were fake?” Someone asked, from the voice he guessed it was Quiso.

Jack shook his head, tightening his jaw.  “Nope, that was real.” He tipped his head from side to side. “Except for that one time we pretended to have sex, but then we actually had sex like fifteen minutes later.”

“And she is breaking up with you because her company needs the money?” Someone else clarified which sounded like Urban.

Jack nodded. “Yup.  That’s what matters to her.”  

‘Definitely not me.’ Jack thought, bitterly. 

“Do you still want to be with her?”  That question made Jack jump to his feet.  He almost fought the person who asked. If he could tell who it was, the voice was timid, it wasn’t clear who it came from. His eyes were blown and his chest was heaving.  All of his friends stared at him wide eyed.

“I’m going to take a walk.” Jack announced.

No one stopped him. Not like he was surprised.  After that little display, he doubted anyone would talk to him for awhile. 

Jack stepped out of his apartment complex. The Atlanta night air was cool.  It was quite dark for 7pm and already pretty empty. It was a Thursday night, two days before you signed your name to a contract and told Sammy to end your relationship.  He walked down half a block, sighing loudly.  He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up to see someone standing in front of him.  It was you.  He blinked a few times as if expecting you to vanish before his eyes.

“Can we talk?” You asked him.

Jack gave a slow nod, “Let’s walk and talk.”

You nodded starting to match his stride as he walked past you. You could feel Jack slowing down to keep to your speed.  You smiled to yourself, wondering how much he consciously and subconsciously put your needs before his.

“I want to apologize.” You could feel yourself starting to cry, but stopped yourself. You had to get this out. “I’m so sorry I made the decision without even consulting you. To be honest, a part of me was so happy when you came in, talking about how you wanted to continue being my boyfriend. My real boyfriend.  And then, reality set in.  My company, my insecurities, my prejudgments…all of it clouded the absolute joy I felt knowing that you like me back. So, I shoved the feeling down and did what I was supposed to do.  That’s what business women, scientist and engineers do. We get stuff done regardless of how it makes us feel.”

You let out a shaky breath.  “But the moment you left, Jack, I felt broken.  I was torn apart because I love this company and our mission so much, but I was going to give it all up because--”  You hesitated. “--I was falling in love.”

Jack’s footsteps stopped, both of you standing in the middle of the sidewalk.  He turned to face you, his hoodie blocking you from his view otherwise.  His eyes were brimmed with tears, but he didn’t let them fall out.

“I was crushed yesterday when you said what you said.” Jack confessed. “I felt so defeated. I kept wondering what I did to make you feel like I wasn’t actually into you.  Or, even worse, that I was not willing to support and invest in your dreams.  I have $150,000, Y/n.  And I could get you $300,000 over the course of three years. In fact, with the right corporate sponsors and support from my fans, I could even double it.”

A couple tears rolled down your cheeks.  Brenda and Micah were right.  Apparently they did know Jack as well as you did.  They both remembered that Jack wasn’t just “Jack Harlow” but a human being who liked you and wanted to make you happy.  Somehow, you had forgotten that.  Jack pressed a hand to his chest.

“And another thing.  Even if we did break up, I am a man of  my word.  If I promised your organization $300,000 over the course of three years, then you would get those checks even if I sent my lawyer to deliver them.  I only invest in what I believe in, and I believe in you, Y/n.  I believe in us and I was willing to invest in that by going against my agent.  You don’t think that’s putting my career on the line?”

As more tears tickled out, Jack’s hard stare began to soften.  He gently wiped away your tears, not seeming to care that each one wiped away was replaced by two or three more.

“I know it’s only been a little over a month, but I’m falling for you too, Y/n.” Jack whispered.  “Can’t we at least try to see where this goes?”

You nodded enthusiastically.  “I would, with your  investment or none. I really want this Jack, I do.”

Jack smiled and leaned in  to give you a kiss.  You wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands supported your back. You let your right foot slowly extend upward in a bent position, laughing against his lips.

“What?” Jack whispered.

“My foot popped.” You giggled softly.

“Is that  Y/n  Y/L/n quoting the Princess Diaries?” Jack mimicked you from your first date.

You chuckled, whispering his previous words back to him. “Why is that shocking? I am very into film.”

“I said cinema.” Jack teased.

“That’s not your line.” You teased back.

“I don’t know if I would consider that a cinematic masterpiece.” Jack recited, emphasizing cinematic dramatically.

“2000s movies have a special place in my heart.” You grinned.

“Just like you…” Jack added.

You smiled and pecked Jack on the lips “Just like you…”

A/N: If you made it down here, you’re a rockstar! Just wanna say the Pete Davidson jokes were just low hanging fruit, not hate to our real life Y/n. ♥ Hope you enjoyed it.  Sorry for any typos or missing warnings. Lmk if I messed up lol

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #r-writes-fic

[themountainsays]

>Over at the madrigalcest tag on twitter they're posting pictures of real gore.

Is it sad that I'm not even a little bit surprised at this point that antis would post pictures of real human suffering to own the pro-shippers?

It's just exhausting at this point. It feels like a battle uphill you can never win, because how do you reason with someone like that?

It's not surprising at all, no, because people are DM'd real gore and worse all the time. It's truly insane how they talk about fucking fanfic "normalizing gross stuff" when their behavior clearly shows that normalization of harmful tendencies is bred in communities of people that actively celebrate and encourage those tendencies and reproduce them in group, not in communities where people have the critical thinking skills to know that reading Cien Años won't turn you into an auntfucker and that playing call of duty won't turn you into a mass murderer. They preach about "romanticization" and "fetishization" and "normalization" but even when looked at those assumptions in the most charitable light possible, they are nothing but hypotheses that need to be tested and corroborated or discarded.

So hypothesis 1 is: shipping incest will make you want to fuck your sister.

However evidence proves otherwise, because everyone has encountered incest fiction in one way or another, to the point it's present in mainstream media such as GoT and even kid's books like P3rcy Jackson, and no one turned out to be a sisterfucker because of that.

Hypothesis 2 says: even if there is no real harm, it is still unethical and inappropriate.

And then you get a lot more subjective and philosophical because maybe they DO have this very abrahamic view of morality in which some things are bad Just Because. Why shouldn't I do X even though it hurts no one? Because God says it. It's in the book. And maybe these rules aren't entirely arbitrary, maybe they made more sense in the historical context in which these texts were conceived, and if people want to live by those rules I think that's perfectly fine, but they can't expect to force an idea of morality not based on the prevention and reduction of real direct harm on people on others who don't share their beliefs. They look like my evangelical art teacher who spent 5 years trying to convert me.

So their arguments as to why we're Bad People^TM hold no water. They're entirely based on the knee-jerk reaction of disgust they get when they see the concepts we like to explore. It's entirely emotional. They're basing their entire sense of morality on gut feelings. Imagine if I went around telling everyone that blood transfussion is gross (which kinda is imo, like that's someone else's body juice inside of you), and because I think it's Icky and Uncomfy I threaten to doxx rape and kill everyone who's ever donated blood, had a blood transfussion, performed one or participated in scientific research surrounding it. Because i get a Nasty Feeling about blood transfussion so it must be Immoral. Actually I'm pretty sure there must be idiots who think that. Really, whatever I feel about ugly-looking medical procedures is irrelevant because I know that no matter how scary they look, they're usually performed with the patient's best interest in mind, and I should probably get over my fear of blood transfussions one day anyway. You can't callibrate your moral compass on what you perceive is "gross" and "weird", which is already too subjective. You need more objective rules, such as "does this hurt anyone?".

Why am i trying to psychoanalyze them? I'm giving them more credit than they deserve. These fuckers are just sick pieces of shit who want an acceptable target to torment and use everything we do against us, to justify our punishment.

#shipping discourse

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Welcome!!

I'm open for requests, but I do say that I move kind of slow. I'm a college student & I work, so I'm pretty busy. But I love writing as an outlet for stress.

I'm open for requests, asks, blurbs or fics!!

Guidelines For Interacting:

Spencer Reid x Reader (Any Female, Male, Gender Neutral, Non-Binary)

I will really only like to write a happy ending, but comfort angst is okay!

I love Taylor Swift, so most of the pieces that I write are inspired by her songs.

Smut Guidelines: Female or Gender Neutral only (I am a cis woman, I don't want to seem like I am fetishizing mlm relationships. Minors cannot interact with anything tagged #spencer reid x reader smut OR #spencer reid smut. Minors will be blocked if they do not abide by this.

Please be kind, thoughtful, and considerate when interacting with me or anyone within this blog. If you do not abide by this, you will be block.

Click to be brought to my Masterlist!

Masterlist

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

forever is the sweetest con:  after a successful case, which is hard to come by the BAU, the team (season 3 team) celebrates with drinks at the bar. things go arise when penelope convinces a normally reserved y/n to sing karaoke. (Angstish Fluff)

sweet valentine:  a 22 year old spencer reid finds himself thinking about his firsts...and the one first that he has yet to accomplish. (Fluff) 

band-aids don’t fix bullet holes, but your kisses do:  in a standoff with an unsub, reader makes a choice: her life or spencer’s. (Angst/Fluff)

french toast waffle sundays: coming home to reader from a stressful case, spencer needs a little reassurance that he’s as wonderful as reader thinks he is. (Angstish Comfort)

open me carefully: reader finds her hopelessly in love with spencer, who unfortunately for them is hopeless when it comes to love. (Angst/Fluff)

the moment i knew my future was sweet: spencer plans a surprise birthday party for reader, who comes to the realization that spencer is the one who’s always been there for her (Angst/Fluff) 

cutie pi:  spencer reid’s second favorite holiday isn’t really a holiday, but it’s sure a day that he’ll never forget (Fluff and terrible math puns) 

crawl home to her:  The only thing that’s keeping spencer alive is the memories of his heaven. maybe someone how a faithless man will escape death’s grasp on faith alone. (Angst) 

49%: If there’s one thing that Spencer hates more than rejection, it’s spontaneity. But sometimes the things (and people) we love outweigh the things that we hate. AKA a series of events leading up to a weekend wedding between the BAU’s finest Dr. Spencer Reid and his partner in crime, Y/N. (Fluff) 

you die in my nightmares, but i’m dying to dance with you in my dreams:  tired of being tired, reader takes leap instead of counting sheep :) (Fluff, Comfort) 

is this gonna be graded?: Y/N’s last assignment is simple, write down everything that you’d want to try. The options are endless and that just might be the end of her. (Smut; MINORS DNI) 

you kiss my face and we’re both drunk:  Who would have figured that a normally serious genius with an eidetic memory would be a silly, forgetful drunk, or drunk Spencer realizes how much he loves Y/N. (Fluff; CW: Drunkenness) 

fools in love:  He can explain how String Theory works. He can figure out Riemann Hypothesis. He can recite all the numbers of pi until he’s blue in the face. Yet somehow, Spencer Reid can’t figure out what to do for his first first anniversary.

i’ll take x-pecting for 200, alex:  Dr. Spencer Reid plays a trivia game at the request of his wife, Y/N, but he’s in for more than some heaving hitting questions (fluff)

you can hear it in the silence: Sneaking around can be fun, but sometimes the silence is just too quiet, or falling in love with your best friend.

take my hand and drag me head first: Spencer Reid is a scientist and scientists love predictability; but love isn’t predictable, it’s fearless. 

and i will hold on to you: They’ve never been apart for holidays since they started dating. That was until Spencer Reid found himself behind bars for a crime he’d never think of committing. Growing and healing, Spencer realizes that it’s not the holidays that matter, it’s the person. Because with that special person, who’s laugh he can recognize anywhere, even cleaning up the empty bottle the next morning is magical. (Can be read as a part 2 to take my hand and drag me head first)

wrap your arms around me, baby boy: Sometimes love at first just might be the thing that’ll make you want to get married with paper rings.

i can’t help it if you look like an angel: Spencer is not that kind of doctor, but he’ll always come when Y/N needs him, even if germs are involved.

though i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you: Spencer’s always been ambivalent about his birthday, but self proclaimed lover of birthday’s Y/N attempts to change that.

Las Vegas Boy: Y/N surprises Spencer at their joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party with a song she’s been working on.

I Can’t Say Anything to Your Face: Lunchtime is Spencer Reid’s favorite time of day and not because of the crappy endless coffee, dry sandwiches, or the occasional chocolate donut. Spencer’s favorite time of day comes in the shape of a little post it notes and fits perfectly into his heart.

Right Where You Left Me: Y/N never expected to see him again. He tore her heart out and left her in the dusty heat of a Las Vegas diner. She never wanted to see him again, but sometimes the heart wants what heart wants.

Don’t Thank Me For Loving You: Spencer and Reader have been dating for a total of 4 weeks. If someone asked, Spencer would be able to tell them the exact amount of time he’s been in love with Y/N. So why does he get so nervous to share a bed?

Worship This Love: Y/N doesn’t think she can get jealous easily. She knows that Spencer is almost as head over heel for her as she is for him. But still, seeing the pretty detective grab Spencer by the tie is enough to send her into a jealous stupor.

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader

It’s a Love Story, Baby: Secret relationships can be fun, but sometimes the love runs so deep that it’s just begging to get the spotlight. Love like that is difficult, but it’s the realest thing Spencer and Y/N have ever felt.

The Doctor Is In: Reader knows that they shouldn’t have dairy, but it’s hard to resist the creamy sweetness, especially when an equally sweet husband wants to have a relaxing vacation.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid deserved a happy ending #crminal minds #criminal minds fic #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fic

[atsukashii]

ily and ur writing so much 🥺🥺 I'm caught up on practically everything u've posted, so while I wait (im)patiently for new works NO RUSH THO, can u rec any writers u may follow that post stuff u just lOVE to read???

I usually use fics as a distraction from anxiety/panic attacks and my heart doing the palpitating thing which actually makes me wonder if my heart med is working??? bc its happening rn yay 🙃 so I usually go for fluff or h/c stuff

holy shit everything?!?!? 😮😮 aaahhhhh thank you so much 💕 i’m so glad that my writing can give you some sort of escape. send you all the hugs in the world anon!!!

also can I rave about my fave writers on a public platform? ummm fuck yes I can.

These are in no particular order and I think I’ve missed some people but if you check my recommended tag there are even more there too!! Oh I’m also recommending fics here!

haikyuu!

@elysianslove (sfw + nsfw) - sal writes some of the best hc’s and drabbles ever, and the way that she writes for kuroo has my heart going boom boom every time.

faves : unintentional flustering things & the little things

@kotarotea (sfw) - guys don't get me started on alyssa's writing okay, because her blog has made me laugh and cry more times then i can count (I'm looking dead at you in another life) her writing is top notch and is definitely one of my absolute favourite people on this site. Oh also her fake texts are pretty neat!

faves : the waiting game (read it ages ago and is one of my fave iwa fics to this day) & random text with bf iwa this one gives me all the feeeelllsss

@hvnlydmn (sfw)- ains writing can heal all of the worlds problems i stg. her atsumu is simply divine and i frequently read her writing. but seriously she will make anyone into an atsumu simp and you'll thank her for it.

faves : haikyuu boys comforting you & haikyuu boys reactions when they accidentally wake you up from a nap its just too fucking cute i can't not share it

@adoringhaikyuu (sfw + nsfw) - if you don't know who they are then y'all aren't living. their drabbles are honestly some of the most amazing haikyuu pieces i've ever read. And they write for a whole lot of people - also the angst will kill your soul

faves : when they realise they want to marry you & rejects you and regrets it - this made my heart actually hurt when reading it

@taurue (sfw) - jin has written my favourite iwaizumi fic that i have ever read (bad news) and is one of the main reasons i love that man with my heart and soul. she also writes for mha as well as haikyuu so literally you're getting double with this one. shes a treasure and her writing is *chefs kiss* perfection

faves : bad news (iwaizumi x reader) seriously read it, you'll thank me later & down bad (atsumu fluff that is so fucking precious i love it with all my soul)

my hero academia

@dimplesum (sfw) - faye writes for both mha & hq, but it doesn't matter what you read, her work is god tier. her blog is so aesthetically pleasing and her writing even more so, she's one of my top recs for suuurrreeeee

faves : i'm not your fangirl (bakugou x reader) & baked love (bakugou x reader)

@myherowritings (sfw+ nsfw) - sof is the king of bnha x reader as far as i'm concerned and her smau's are on another level. even if you aren't a massive fan of the character of one of her smau's i promise you will be by the end, no joke this is what happened to me in her shinsou smau turn on your airdrop.

faves : number neighbour (bakugou smau) & turn on your airdrop (shinsou smau)

@katsuverse (sfw + nsfw) - i cannot say enough about this talented girl. I have been watching mich's blog grow since day one and the way that her writing and style has evolved is really fucking beautiful. her writing is the bomb dot com and her katsuki is ✨ f l a w l e s s ✨

faves : bakugou's reaction to his crush's haircut, made with love (bakugou x reader) & hypothesis honey (bakugou nsfw smau)

Also i cannot stress this enough, if one of these blogs requests that under 18's do not interact or if they state that under 18's should not view some of their content please for the love of god respect their wishes.

thank you.

#there are definitely people that i have missed and i know i'll think of more minutes after i post this #so i will keep adding to it or will make another recs post #txt.recommends📖

[potteresque-ire]

I’ve got several asks about BJYX supertopic’s recent battle for the top CP ranking. I’ve meant to answer them the way they’re asked, but the answer gets long. Dear Anons ~ please forgive me for splitting the answers into multiple posts!

As with everything I’ve said about CPs, they’re mostly my limited observations—unlike history and news, it’s impossible to find articles about any of this that pass journalistic standards. Therefore, please consider the following to be my personal impressions and ramblings, and as usual, everyone please feel free to point out mistakes and add your own thoughts!

Everyone probably knows already, but the new drama that has brought waves to the Weibo’s CP ranking list is Word of Honour (山河令, which I will abbreviate to WoH), and the CP pairing is known as Lang Lang Ding (浪浪釘, LLD). I haven’t watched this drama yet but as a Wuxia (and slash) fan, it is on my to-watch list. Nonetheless, I’ve been watching the developments surrounding the popularity of the drama and the CPs, and I think I can make the posts long enough just with these observations alone. (I’m incredibly long winded :D )

For the CP competition, I think it’s important to point this out: the LLD supertopic is a mixed character-CP and real-person-CP supertopic, unlike the YiZhan supertopics (BJYX, ZSWW, LSFY) that are real-person-CP only. This means comparing LLD and the YiZhan supertopics is really …  comparing apples and oranges, especially when WoH is still airing (and therefore providing fresh candies for the character CP with every new episode). I therefore wish this kind of popularity competition doesn’t take root in the international fandom; it’s … a bit silly to me, really. It makes little sense.

That said, however, I understand why c-turtles are fighting so hard for the #1 CP spot. C-ent (as is true with many other aspects in the country), numbers and ranking are everything. That 20(?), 40(?) minutes during which BJYX supertopic fell to #2 the first time already made “news” headlines that claimed that WoH had surpassed The Untamed (TU)—an even stranger comparison, if one thinks about it. BJYX, technically speaking, doesn’t have anything to do with TU. It’s a GG/DD real person CP.

But it doesn’t matter—numbers are numbers, and they talk to c-ent watchers, the commercial interests looking for their most promising future investments. The perceived power of c-turtles hinges on them and by power, I mean both fan power and spending power, which are almost synonymous terms in c-ent. Many of you have probably seen those charts that rank the popularity of c-ent entertainers by how much goods, in monetary value, they’re able to sell. How much do the c-turtles contribute to these monetary values? Are they, as a collection of fans, worth keeping, worth wooing?

The notion that only the fan’s spending power means something may cause unease in many i-turtles—and it is, indeed, a very cold-hearted assessment, as it implies that fans are little more than living wallets to be emptied. My observations have been that such a notion doesn’t bother c-turtles for the most part and, IMHO, they’re being realistic for their sociopolitical environment. They also respond to this notion accordingly—while it is difficult to tease out the exact percentage of turtles among Gg and Dd’s active fans (fans that make major purchases goods and merchandises), c-turtles have previously demonstrated their ability to contribute a substantial fraction (in the 10s of percent) of money spent on Gg and Dd. As these splits are only very occasionally visible to the public, the CP ranking likely serves as a constant reminder of c-turtles enormous fan/spending power — without which, Gg and Dd’s popularity will also take a hit.

In that sense, c-turtles are fighting for their right-to-exist. Remember when I talked about the “traditional” thinking that CPFs < solos, and that one CPF = one (loyal) solo lost? This means c-turtles must be able to demonstrate their ability to offer something that the solos cannot, and more importantly, that their offer will not come in any other name. If c-turtles proved last year that they wouldn’t change their name to solos, then this year they’re set to prove they’ll not change their name to LLDs or other CPFs. 

If the latter sounds a bit like a battlecry, it may be exactly that. Ever since the announcements of the long line of upcoming Dangai’s, ample inflammatory posts have been made on the platform to get c-turtles to “defect” to the new dramas, or predict that as soon as another pair of random, beautiful men start to throw candies on screen, c-turtles will promptly forget about Gg and Dd and join the fun. The latter, especially, can be quite insulting to read, as one can imagine. However, with c-turtles being a loosely connected group of millions, despite their apparent firm stance that they shall stay turtle, their underlying nerves that these “insults” may turn out to be true can also be felt — the worry that c-turtledom will haemorrhage when the next popular Dangai with enticing M/M CPs (character or real person) come along. 

WoH, as the first drama that fits the criteria, is therefore a test— a test that many c-turtles likely view they must pass with flying colours to prove their point, to stand with their heads held high among those who do not care about BJYXSZD (not necessarily solos—many solos, BTW, have actually helped the turtles out this time); to show that turtles are not only every bit as loyal as other Gg and Dd fans, they’re not so … cheap as to take any random “industrial saccharine” (工業糖精; referring to ZQSG-free candies created solely to lure in fans) and walk away.

The reform of the BJYX supertopic (which now allows candy analysis and explains the sudden appearance of many old candies), the flood of BTS videos from almost every Zhan Jie previously involved with the YiZhan CPs, the temporary retaking of the top 3 CP spots by BJYX+ZSWW+LSFY ... can therefore be viewed as a rally of c-turtles. The message is: we’re not going anywhere. We’ve got enough candies that no other (M/M) CPs can hope to match in quantity, in quality.

(And the parade is indeed impressive.) (The reform also didn’t come out of thin air; there have been discussions about the supertopic’s candy sharing rules before.)

Some c-turtles have rightfully been concerned about how such a parade of candies can affect Gg and Dd. They point out that some candies should still remain 閱後即焚 (“burn after reading”, instant return to hiding after release like certain BTS videos); that at some point, c-turtles have to let go of their obsession of staying on top of the CP rankings. TU is already almost 2 years old, and being a little lower on the CP ranking list will take the heat off the YiZhan fandoms in the long run, incite less outside forces trying to fan the flames between the shrimps and the motors and the turtles.

The rules and guidelines of c-turtledom therefore remain a work in progress, and c-turtles, the millions of them, are still learning as they go.

Personally, I have faith in what will come. I also haven’t been too concerned about the candy parade, because most information is already out there for those who’re determined to find them — on Bilibili, Douyin, Zhihu etc. I spent some time talking about the Gg Assistant fic not with the goal of eliciting pain or panic, but rather, as a demonstration of why it has been the tradition of CPFs—not only the turtles—to play things very cautiously, with 閱後即焚 and 圈地自萌 (“to play within the circle”; ie, keep all information and candies within CPFs) being the default rules even after removing the “queer factor” from the discussion. Real person CPs have fate as one of their writers and so, unlike character CPs, their candies can have unintended, unpredictable consequences. As the YiZhan fandoms have now grown big enough that their candies can no longer be realistically well-contained, it may not be such a bad idea for especially the sensitive candies to return under the “jurisdiction” of the BJYX supertopic, so to speak. c-turtles can then gain better control of their comes-and-goes. Their narratives.

(CPN below.)

About narratives. @rainbowsky have previously written a thoughtful piece on the possible reasons the YiZhan fandoms have been allowed to thrive, and I’d like to add the following hypothesis—it may be a way to take pre-emptive control of the Gg/Dd narrative in preparation for the scenario where their relationship is exposed without their consent. Some i-turtles, I think, may have already gained a sense of how ruthless, cruel and above all, quick the c-ent rumour mill can be. If Gg and Dd get outed by a third party, chances are they won’t have time at all to create a fresh narrative, and the one that come out of the rumour mill will likely be … very ugly, containing every worst misconception people have against homosexual relationships. Whereas now, c-turtles already have a narrative at hand—the canon-fanon that, while c-turtles may not agree on every detail, is largely agreed upon on the important milestones. The supporting materials are also ready: the videos, the images, the voice and arrow guides on them.  

For me, another interesting question is whether this c-turtle rally and parade of candies are truly necessary in the end.

I’m curious about what will happen to the LLD supertopic when WoH completes its airing. There’s really no precedence for this kind of a mixed character + real person M/M CP supertopic setup — the history of Dangai is short, of popular Dangai’s, even shorter.

Guardian (鎮魂), the first successful Dangai aired exactly a year before TU (in the summer of 2018), never had a dedicated CP supertopic (please holler if I got this wrong! I know there’re Guardian fans here ~ hello! *waves*). Discussions of Guardian’s CPs were found within the drama’s supertopic (剧版镇魂); the real-person-CP also never had its own name; its discussions were hidden under the character CP (巍瀾) tag.

Then came TU. Its real person CP (BJYX) split away from its character CP (WangXian) long before the airing for the drama—the birthdate of the BJYX supertopic was 2018/04/28 (TU’s airing date: 2019/06/27).

After TU, two Dangai dramas have already aired before WoH that seemed to have largely passed the attention of i-fandom: The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty (成化十四年) and Winter Begonia (鬢邊不是海棠紅). Winter Begonia, in particular, was well received. Their character CPs never really took off, however, being conceived and perceived as more brotherhood than romance. Age also played a factor for Winter Begonia—Yun Zheng (尹正), known to many turtles as Dd’s motorcycle buddy, is 34, and Huang Xiaoming (黃曉明) is 43. The associated real person CPs also never became popular as a result; Huang Xiaoming’s famous marriage to a beautiful actress also meant that a real person CP was likely to be off the table for Winter Begonia from the start.

The best reference I can think of then, when it comes to speculating the fate of LLD, is therefore the fates of the CP supertopics of 2020’s summer hit, Love and Redemption (琉璃). I’ve talked about its character CP before; essentially, just days after the drama was done airing, the (het) character CP (初遇夫婦) was broken up and in a manner largely criticised as unnecessarily cruel to CP fans. Its supertopic closed immediately afterwards. The supertopic for the real-person-CP (冰橙汁) got to live, however, and is still active today.

The commercial forces behind WoH will likely break the character CP as soon as the drama is done airing; popular het and non-het character CPs in the recent years have gone through similar fates. What does this mean to LLD then? Does it mean the supertopic will be shutdown, since the drama itself already has its own supertopic? But what will happen then to its real-person CP, which has been incorporated within the LLD supertopic? Will the real-person CP be broken at the same time as the character CP to allow for immediate “purification” of real person CP fans into solo fans, to avoid future “headaches” like BYYX—a bound between the actors that cannot be severed—or 227 that, in the eyes of many passerbys, remains an issue of solo vs cpfs?

Only time will tell, and I very sincerely hope it’ll get a happy ending. Fans are made to love, and it saddens me every time to see them being severed from their loves, or pitted against each other especially when it’s clear it’s the social media platforms, the commercial interests behind the scenes — not just the production/media companies but the YXHs, the water armies — who will reap the benefits in the end. Personally, I feel no joy in seeing anyone’s favourites getting torn down, even if they aren’t my own. Gg and Dd’s safety — and the safety of every upstanding, hardworking c-ent entertainer like them — doesn’t hinge so much on their CP or solo or drama ranking, but whether their fans can refrain from bringing their conflicts into the public eye, from “occupying social resources”—ie, deflecting the public’s attention from the “core socialist values” the government intends it to focus on.

Fandom is big enough for us all.

#pie metas #yizhan #bjyx

[jokertrap-ran]

(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Evan’s Personal Route Chapter 1-2: Candle-Lit Game (烛光博弈) Translation

“So this is how he, who I've always been following, is truly like?”

*Light and Night Master-list | Evan’s Personal Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *Evan’s tag will be #For Night, For Revolution

Not long later, Evan's car stopped in front of a quiet victorian-style townhouse amidst a noisy neighbourhood.

An impeccably dressed waiter steps up politely to help us open the doors of the car.

I followed after him as we proceeded along a gravel path surrounded by rose bushes.

I looked at the gap between the rocks of the gravel path and back to my high heels again, awkwardly slowing down as I went.

This was when Evan, who had been walking alongside me, came to a stop. He crooked his elbow in my direction, offering it for me to take.

Evan: The path here is hard to tread.

Taking one cautionary glance at the winding road before me, I hesitated for a moment before linking my arm with his.

Perhaps it was because of how stiffly I was moving, for the sides of Evan’s lips quirked upwards. He slightly inclined his head, glancing at me.

Evan: Why? Are you not used to it?

I was speechless for a while as I attempted to formulate an answer that wouldn’t immediately out me.

As if reading my mind, he spoke once more, his voice tinged with faint amusement.

Evan: I'm talking about the dinner party.

MC: Oh, the dinner party… Honestly, it's a little out of my league.

MC: Can I ask who's going to be attending?

Evan: One is a senior I'm familiar with, and another, is something I think you'll know.

MC: Someone I know?

I tried to think of who it might be; alas, coming up with nothing.

Evan: I remember you once saying that you fancied the perfume brand that was under Zeal.

Evan: If so, then do you know about the founder, Zee?

MC: Oh! I saw his post this afternoon. I think he’s in Guangqi City now.

MC: Wait a minute! Don't tell me—

I gave Evan an incredulous look, only to see him nod with a faint smile playing on his lips.

Evan: Yes. The senior that I happen to be close to is also coincidentally a close friend of Mr. Zee’s.

Evan: Today’s dinner party’s to welcome him.

Evan spoke lightly of it, but I couldn’t help but feel nervous.

Today’s dinner party is way more important than I thought! It might even affect the cooperation between both companies!

My heart unwittingly raced at the thought, and I’d subconsciously tightened my grip on his arm.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

The waiter pulled the doors open for us when we reached the entrance, and a middle-aged man immediately came up to greet us both.

??: It's been a long time, young Lu.

Evan: Sorry to keep you waiting, Uncle Pan.

Mr. Pan: No need to be so polite. I've only just arrived as well.

Mr. Pan: Let's put all of that aside for now. Shouldn't you first introduce your lady friend here?

I suddenly realized that I’ve been clinging onto his arm ever since entering the room, quickly letting go of it.

Evan merely went along with me and relaxed the arm that he’d held up for me. He nodded at Uncle Pan and faced him with a light smile.

Evan: This is (Y/n), a very talented Fashion Designer of my Company's.

Evan: (Y/n), this is Uncle Pan, a renowned businessman in Guangqi's business world, and also a senior of mine that I greatly respect.

I hurriedly extended a hand to Uncle Pan, who'd come to greet us.

MC: Hello, Uncle Pan…

Mr. Pan: Haha, no need to be so polite, Miss (Y/n). The food served in this restaurant is something that you cannot miss out on! Do be sure to eat lots!

MC: Will do! Thank you!

Mr. Pan: Take (Y/n) inside first, young Lu.

Evan: Alright.

We both bowed our heads slightly at him, expressing our gratitude. The waiter immediately came up, leading us to the room on the second floor.

All that could be heard was our footsteps, echoing in the elegant hallway.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Not long after we’d seated ourselves, Uncle Pan entered the room followed by another middle-aged man.

I could recognize him at a glance. That man was none other than Zee.

Time did not dull his edge. In fact, it merely gave him a couple of notches of calmness. His sharp eyes openly swept across everyone present without the slightest bit of hesitation. I don’t know if it was just me, but I felt as if something had flashed in his eyes when his line of sight fell on me.

After Uncle Pan had finished with his brief introductions, Evan leaned forwards, extending a hand out to Zee.

Evan: It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Zee.

Zee raised his eyebrows and contemplated him for a good long while before slowly reaching out to shake his hand.

Zee: Warson's CEO? Pleasure's mine.

After exchanging greetings, Uncle Pan smiled as he patted both of their shoulders, gesturing for everyone to take a seat at the table.

Evan and I were seated at one side, while Zee and Uncle Pan were on the other.

The waiter began to serve us the dishes in an orderly manner.

For a while, the only thing that could be heard was the soft thuds of a leather shoe against the low pile carpet, accompanied by the occasional clink of tableware.

Evan: I've long since heard that you're an avid collector of antiques, Mr. Zee. So, I've prepared a gift to commemorate our first meeting.

The words had only left his lips when two men dressed impeccably in suit and gloves stepped up with a scroll, unravelling it for everyone to view.

It was an ancient painting. The paper had already yellowed, but the picture depicted on it was complete and clear, boasting vibrant colours, its inscription and seal as clear as the day and distinguishable.

Although I’d often visited the museum as a kid, it was the ancient outfits and accessories that had piqued my interest. Hence, my limited understanding when it came to calligraphy and paintings. I could only tell that this was a work that originated from the Qing Dynasty, which had used the lighting styles, shading styles, and the perspective of many western artworks as reference.

The sides of Zee’s mouth curved slightly upwards, his eyes lighting up with joy at the sight.

Zee: It truly is a treasure of invaluable rarity.

Zee: Looks like you really do know your stuff, Mr. Lu.

Evan: Can’t say I do, myself; but, I’ve often heard Uncle Pan talk about your passion when it comes to these things.

Mr. Pan: Young Lu here’s very considerate. He remembers everything I tell him!

Mr. Pan: You too. Stop evading and take it already!

Zee: If my old pal insists; then I shall.

Zee: Still, it wouldn’t look all that good for me to take something without giving something else in return.

Zee: I’ve recently found an interesting little gadget. You can have it as a return gift if it interests you.

Saying so, Zee snapped his fingers with a smirk.

In a snap of a finger, a man behind him brought forth an intricately carved jewellery box made out of lacquered wood, placing it before us.

The inside of the red box was padded with fine silk, and lying above it was an exquisite gold hairpin.

MC: This! Isn't this Wanli’s Gold Hairpin!?

Then, all gazes turned to me. I flushed with embarrassment.

MC: Sorry, that was inappropriate of me….

Zee turned to look at me in rapt interest, with something inexplicable simmering behind his smile.

Zee: As expected of you, Mr. Lu. Even your female companion’s so learned and talented. You have a keen eye, Miss (Y/n).

Zee: I wonder just how much you know about this gold hairpin? How about you tell us more about it?

He'd already motioned towards the man in a suit, not waiting for me to reply. The box was then placed before me.

The gold and reds perfectly complemented each other, traversing through hundreds of years to now stand before my eyes. I could acutely feel the complexity and magnificence of this gold hairpin.

However, tonight was not a night of antique appreciation. Every act, every action of mine might contribute to whether or not the cooperation between the two companies will come to pass in the future…

I subconsciously turned to Evan. He smiled faintly, nodding his head in what seemed like encouragement.

The nervousness I felt instantaneously dispersed somewhat. I requested a set of gloves from the suited man, putting them on before carefully cracking the gold hairpin in my palm.

MC: Well… if you’ll pardon my inadequacy.

MC: Judging from the appearance and the workmanship, this filigree dragon pattern inlaid with the jewellery should have been made in the Ming Dynasty, during Wanli's reign.

MC: The gold and silver accessories during that time were richly patterned and intricately pieced together. They're often made through carving methods like this, alongside hollowing methods.

MC: I've once seen a similar gold kissing prochilodus hairpin with a self-defence mechanism.

MC: It had a silver needle hidden in a hollow compartment at the end, which can be released when required.

MC: I think this one’s the same as well.

Saying so, I tried to recall how the mechanism worked and where it was located from a book I’d seen in the past. Sure enough, I managed to find a catch at the very tip of the dragon’s tail.

MC: Maybe down here?

MC: The material used on this particular part is different from what the rest of the hairpin is made of, which means that this is most likely the place where the trigger’s hidden.

Zee: Oh? Then how about you show us, Miss (Y/n)?

MC: But this is just a hypothesis of mine, and this gold hairpin is way too valuable to be poking around with…

Zee: No matter. All hypotheses require to be tested. Besides, you’ve intrigued me.

MC: I’ll… I’ll try then.

Under everyone’s watchful gazes, I focused all my concentration on the gold hairpin in my hand as I gave it a thorough check through.

MC: There’s a small metal latch to the left of the ruby at the bottom. That should be the trigger!

Hearing that, Zee merely raised his eyebrows, as if awaiting my next move.

Is he… waiting for me to trigger it?

I was nervous because I didn't know whether it'd really make a silver needle slide out; so much that my back was covered in a sheen of nervous sweat. I took in a deep breath, trying my damndest to curb the tremor in my hand as I reached out towards that one particular ruby.

Just as I was about to touch the trigger, a hand placed itself atop my wrist, holding me back.

Evan: Allow me.

I could acutely feel his slightly cooler body temperature even through the gloves I wore.

Having said that, he too, requested a set of gloves before taking the gold hairpin from my grasp.

Evan: Here?

MC: Yeah…

Evan carefully angled the end of the hairpin so that it faced the inside of the jewellery box before gently pressing on the mechanism's trigger…

All we heard was a slight swoosh as a silver needle revealed itself against the silk cushions that padded the box under everyone's watchful gazes.

MC: !

I drew in a long, deep breath, shooting Evan a grateful look, which he returned with a smile.

He placed the gold hairpin back into the jewellery box before turning back to Zee.

Evan: Your return gift certainly does have exquisite workmanship, Mr. Zee. Thank you, I love it.

Hearing what Evan said, Zee, who had been leaning back into his chair with his eyes closed, suddenly perked up and leaned forwards with the sides of his mouth raised.

Zee: Why, don’t give me all the credit here. If Miss (Y/n) hadn’t found the mechanism, I wouldn’t have ever known that this little thing had a catch to it.

Zee: Looks like I should talk to her more, given the chance. I believe that we share a lot of common interests.

Zee: How about… we get Mr. Lu to specially authorize you to be my assistant during my stay here in Guangqi City?

Zee: If so, then we'll have more opportunities to talk and work together with each other.

Zee raised the goblet in his hand, gesturing at me.

For a while, I couldn't find a way to refuse him as I subconsciously raised my wineglass along with him, preparing to take a sip out of it.

Suddenly, Evan's hand cane upon mine, removing the glass from my grasp.

Evan: Thank you for your appreciation.

Evan: Although… she's a brilliant Designer of ours, so she has her responsibilities as well as her work arrangements.

Evan: If there is a need, I can always elect someone better and much more suited to be your assistant.

Evan's curvy eyes still held a smile within them, yet what came out from his mouth was an undeniable refusal towards Zee's request.

The red wine swirled within the glass as two glasses clinked together with a crisp and clear sound.

I could faintly see a tinge of dark red mixed into the bottom of his eyes. Perhaps it was an illusion caused by the candlelight, or perhaps of the reflection from the dark red wine within the glass...

Zee glanced at me, unfazed. His fingers slowly trailed along the rim of his cup. His smile returned to his face after a moment of silence.

Zee: I’ll have to trouble you then.

Evan: Not at all.

Zee: I'm not trying to make things hard for anyone here, but who knows, we might have another chance to work together in the future.

Zee: All beauty in this world requires time to ferment and brew like fine wine, and I'm not against waiting.

Evan nodded, smiling humbly at him. However, the edges of his eyes, slightly curved upwards in a smile, held a faint, yet dangerously sharp glint to them.

Evan: How about we add a little value into your time of wait instead of wasting the time that passes doing nothing?

Evan: I’ve heard that Zeal is expanding into the global market as of late. I do have a suggestion if you’re interested…

Zee narrowed his eyes into a pensive smile. There was a sly scheming glint in his long and narrow eyes as he did the math

Zee: You’ve really done your homework, Mr. Lu. Do share with the class.

He leaned forward, peaking with interest. A rush of nervousness hits me, but just as we were about to enter the main topic...

A vibrating sound suddenly sounded. Zee held up his phone, glancing at it, before turning back to us with a smile.

Zee: I’ll go pick this call up. You don’t mind, do you?

Uncle Pan responded in the affirmative, and I hurriedly followed suit, shaking my head together with Evan.

Zee pushed the door open and left. I didn’t know if it was because my nerves had been too highly strung in nervousness earlier, or if it was due to the temperatures running higher within the dining room, but I suddenly felt a bout of dizziness hit me.

Should I take this chance to go outside for some fresh air?

❖ Choice A: Do nothing

I looked out at the rustling leaves outside the window, swaying in the wind, slightly hesitant.

Evan: Want to go out and stretch your legs?

Evan’s voice suddenly sounded by my ear, making me turn and look up.

He was always like this, easily seeing through my thoughts, yet remaining a comfortable distance away as he asks for my opinion.

MC: Yeah… I feel a little cooped up in here.

Hearing this, Uncle Pan only smiled.

Mr. Pan: Take her out for a walk then, young Lu. The scenery outside is beautiful, if I must say so myself.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

After thanking Uncle Pan, Evan led me out to the veranda.

The white sheer curtain fluttered along with the wind with the soft moonlight dancing quietly on top of it. Everything was calm and serene.

The air was filled with the faint fragrance of flowers. I stretched my neck, peering down. There was a large bed of roses blooming in the gardens down below.

I braced both hands on the railing, closing my eyes and inhaling deeply.

Evan: Feel better?

MC: Much better!

Evan smiled gently, but it soon turned into one of concern.

Evan: I can send you back first if you're uncomfortable with the dinner party.

MC: ...Did I cause trouble for you?

He shakes his head, gently stroking the top of my head.

Evan: No. You've done brilliantly.

Evan: It's just… I don't wish to see you push yourself, even if it's only out of your concern for me.

MC: Right…

The pent-up frustration in my head seemingly subsided upon hearing his words.

What’s there for me to worry about when I have him by my side?

I lowered my hands from the railings and turned towards the direction of the dining room.

MC: But, I think I'll accompany you till the end of this dinner party.

Evan was stunned for a while before he smiled and offered me his arm.

This time, I took his arm without hesitation as we headed further down the corridor side-by-side.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Zee had already returned to the dining room by the time we got back.

Evan and Zee both continued their precious discussion about working together and the dinner party soon ended smoothly without a hitch.

☆   NORMAL END: Fading Exit   ☆   "Next time, keep up and stay sharp!"

❖ Choice B: Stay in the private dining room

Although Zee has left, he'll probably be back shortly. The first half of the dinner party's over, so I just have to pull through for a while more.

I breathed a light sigh as I tucked the loose strands of hair back behind my ear, trying to relax.

Noticing this, Evan inclined his head.

Evan: Relax. It's fine.

MC: ...Okay.

The tense atmosphere within the dining room lightened up with Uncle Pan's warm hospitality, and Zee soon returned.

The waiter continued serving the next set of dishes. One exquisite dish after another was slowly placed before me, and they all tasted pleasantly divine.

In the end, Zee never once broached the topic of an assistant again.

The night grew on as we walked out of the victorian-style townhouse. The waiter already had our car prepared and waiting for us.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Upon reaching my apartment building, Evan got out of the car, holding the door open for me. He stood under the streetlights, looking at me.

Evan: Rest earlier today.

After making my way upstairs, I leaned out of the window and waved as I watched his car disappear around the corner of the road.

My phone vibrated not long after the car disappeared from my field of vision.

Picking it up, I saw that it was a message from Evan.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Evan (SMS): Good night, sweet dreams.

I held my phone, smiling as I inputted the same words into it.

MC (SMS): Good night, Evan...

☆  NORMAL END: Bystander   ☆   "Sometimes, opportunities lie beyond the light at the end of the tunnel through the cracks of the willow's shade…"

❖ Choice C: Head out to the veranda and get some air

I took the chance and excused myself from the room, coming out to the veranda in hopes of easing my nerves.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

The night breeze up at the veranda was cooling. It blew off the heat that had been created from my restlessness and felt utterly refreshing.

After taking in a couple of deep breaths, I patted my face and prepared to go back inside. Much to my surprise, I turned around only to be met face-to-face by none other than Zee himself.

Zee: Miss (Y/n), what a coincidence to see you here.

He smiled as he strolled up to me. I subconsciously took a step backwards. Noticing this, Zee's smile widened.

Zee: I do hope you weren’t bothered by the incident earlier. Is that why you’re purposely trying to avoid me, Miss (Y/n)?

I hurriedly shook my head, slightly raising my head to meet his gaze.

MC: Surely, you must be joking, Mr. Zee. I just came out for some air and was just about to head back in.

Zee had a playful glint in his eyes. He lifted his hand to his chin, suddenly moving forwards to block me off.

Zee: Why such a hurry? Care to accompany me for a walk?

MC: But Uncle Pan and Mr. Lu are still waiting for us back inside…

Before I could finish, Zee purposely moved even closer, his eyes narrowed into a close eyed smile.

Zee: Looks like you trust Mr. Lu a great lot, Miss (Y/n). I wonder… Just how much do you know about his past?

MC: What are you implying, Mr. Zee?

Zee: There's no need for you to be afraid, Miss (Y/n). The more approachable a person,  the higher the chance that they're hiding another side of them.

Zee: They do say that "Someone of talent is free to choose their own master". And it seems like you are completely unaware of Evan's past.

Zee: And with someone as talented as you, Miss (Y/n)... I cannot bear to leave you in the dark.

He presumptuously sized me up in such a smarmy manner that it was unsettlingly uncomfortable.

I tried to bypass him and head in the direction of the dining room, but he'd seen through me and moved his body to block off my escape.

A sort of unease that stemmed from being forced to do something welled up on me. I wanted to flee, yet I didn't dare to refuse him outright.

What should I do now?

Just as I was trapped between a wall and a hard place, I heard a familiar set of footsteps sound from the other end of the hallway.

Raising my head, I saw a reassuring figure headed straight for us.

Evan!

He walked straight up to us, reaching out to place his hand around my shoulders before pulling me back to his side with a little force.

I raised my head, looking up at him. Those eyes of his, usually as warm and gentle as jade, were now slightly dark. There was an unknown emotion flickering within the bottom of his eyes that I couldn't make out.

Evan: So this was where you were, Mr. Zee.

The corners of Zee's lips slowly upturned into a smile, although that didn't quite reach his eyes, which were clearly glinting in displeasure.

Zee: Mr. Lu. I only wanted to have a nice chat with her, so what is the meaning of this?

Zee: I know that she's someone close to you, but you can't go making all the decisions for her like that.

Zee: Actually, she has just agreed to become my special assistant during my stay here at Guangqi City. What!?

Zee had effortlessly told a lie, with not a trace of it to be seen on his face. He raises his eyebrow and turns to look at me.

I steeled myself, forcing a polite smile onto my face.

MC: Surely you must be joking, Mr. Zee. Antiques and managing daily schedules are not things that I specialize in, so there's no way I can ever become an assistant of yours...

Zee's countenance darkens upon hearing this. His eyes landed on me as he seemingly contemplates something.

I don't know whether it was because I was too nervous, but I could feel my shoulders trembling ever so slightly. Evan calmly drew me closer to him, the amiable smile remaining ever-present on his face.

Evan: If you require an assistant, then I shall personally arrange one for you.

Evan: It is merely a matter of picking out the right candidate for the job. However, please do give me some time to make a good selection for your needs.

Looking at the expression Evan had on his face, Zee suddenly lets out a loud laugh.

Zee: Hahaha. Alright. Beautiful women are one a plenty in this world, and it looks like you're not willing to forsake this treasured one of yours.

The smile was still on Evan's face, but this time, he'd slightly narrowed his eyes.

Evan: Now, you're mistaken, Mr. Zee. (Y/n) doesn't belong to anyone at all, so any talk of "forsaking" will never come to pass.

Evan: Uncle Pan is still waiting for us inside the dining room. We shouldn't keep him waiting.

Not another peep came from Zee as he turned and walked back to the dining room in large strides.

It was only when he'd completely disappeared from our view that Evan let go of me and faced me with a thoroughly concerned look.

Evan: You okay, (Y/n)?

I shook my head. My heart was still wildly pounding.

Evan: I apologize for making you face that sort of predicament alone.

Evan: It won't happen again. You have my word.

The panic in my heart gradually subsided. I shut my eyes tight and fought against the stuffiness of my nose as I tried not to cry.

MC: Thank you, Evan.

Evan's expression gradually grew softer. He raised his hand, gently patting my back.

Evan: Don't worry. We're the only ones here now.

Evan: Enjoy the wind a little more with me, then we can head back in together.

MC: Okay...

I knew, deep down. He wasn't here to enjoy the wind at all, but rather, he'd used it as an excuse to allow me, in all my embarrassing glory, some time to calm myself down.

The strength behind the hand on my back brought about a comforting warmth, settling my taut nerves.

The moonlight was akin to water, shrouding us within its silvery embrace.

❖☆————— ⊹ Oblique Curtains of the Night⊹ —————★❖

⊹ Previous Part: (Chapter 1-1: Unexpected Request) ⊹ Next Part: (Chapter 1-3: Strike in the Dark )

#光与夜之恋 #Light and Night #Otome #Translations #Tencent #陆沉 #Evan #For Night For Revolution #倾斜夜幕 #Oblique Curtains of the Night