#susan (derogatory)

[nunalastor]

Susan asking Alastor why he broke up with 'that nice Vox boy' and constantly telling Lucifer that Alastor's last 'boyfriend' was so much nicer, more handsome, and more successful than him. Lucifer isn't even aware that he and Alastor are dating, let alone that Alastor had an ex-boyfriend. But he's strangely motivated to win Susan over and prove he's the better suitor for Alastor compared to 'Cox' or whatever his name is.

👀👀👀👀👀

#susan (derogatory) #hazbin hotel #nunalastor asks #radiostatic #radioapple

[inviisiiblelee]

Alastor & Rosie in a tea party setting, gossiping about anything really up to you, please!

REQUESTS OPEN

———

Rosie was always an incredibly gracious hostess, as far as Alastor was concerned. Before his disappearance, they'd often meet up just like this, Rosie having put together a little table by a window for people watching, tea glasses and pot ready and happy to share. It had been so long, and after the events of recent times, he really wanted to feel a sense of normality again. He arrived right on time, as always, and Rosie welcomed him with a big smile and open arms. They shared a brief hug, before the both of them settled themselves.

“Alastor, it feels like it's been ages!”

“Believe me, Rosie, I feel exactly the same. It's good to have real company for once.”

“Oh, you. Please, help yourself before we really dig in!” And he was happy to, finger foods galore and with the most pleasant of crunches. Nothing quite like a little bone marrow for lunch, indeed. She poured him a nice cup of tea, and he added a dash of cream to it before leaning back. 

“So, tell me, honey, how are things?”

“Insufferable, as usual,” came Alastor’s response, with a widening smile. 

“Oh, do tell, darling!”

“Things at the Hotel are just as miserable as you'd imagine! Charlie is just as fervent as ever, trying to get new patrons, and now that Lucifer is there—”

“So that really was him?”

“Yes, yes, he's chosen to stay there for the time being while he helps. Not that he's doing that much, anyway.” 

“He does seem a little empty-headed, doesn't he?” Her comment earned a laugh from Alastor, and some of the tenseness in his shoulders slipped away. 

“I am so glad you agree, Rosie. I've been doing my best to curb them all, and they're all terribly intrusive. Even Husker has been acting quite clingy."

“Really? He's always been a little protective, but clingy?”

“Exactly! After the end of the battle, he insisted on following after me and staying far too close. Even striking out didn't really deter him.” 

“You poor thing, you deserved plenty of space and rest on your own time!”

“Precisely my thoughts. I am fine, but he even sent Charlie checking up on me. It's been such a nuisance! So it's much nicer to be able to come out here.”

“Well, I am always happy to have you, you know that, Alastor! We all love you around here.”

“Oh, I know. If I could spend more time here, I would. But, please, enough of my silly tirade, how are things in your realm?” Alastor took a long drink of his tea, a delightful chamomile. Rosie grinned back at him, taking a drink herself.

“Things are lively as ever, of course. Susan has been less of a pain, all things considered, you might even be so lucky as to avoid her on your way out. The folks here are fairly happy, although there has been some talk of visiting the hotel from some, they've taken nicely to Charlie, as expected.”

“Naturally. I'm sure she'll be happy to have them in any case.”

“There have been a few sightings, though, of Vox and Lucifer both around these parts.” Alastor raised his brows. “They're both taking to spending an odd amount of time with Susan, I think she's developed some attachments. Whether she likes either of them, I have no real idea, I avoid them all.”

“That's probably for the best. Lucifer is infuriating to share breathing space with, and Vox has become quite the nuisance.”

Rosie peered at him for a long moment, but she brushed on to a new topic. “People have been saying something interesting, though, about someone unsavory coming in!”

“Oh? That sounds interesting, who?”

“Well, you didn't hear it from me … but they're saying it's you!”

The two laughed together happily, and Rosie shared more mundane little stories for his entertainment. She had many from the last several years that he hadn't heard, and he found himself happier than he'd been in some time.

#my writing #radiorose #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin rosie #rosie #platonic radiorose #implied radioapple #implied radiostatic #susan hazbin hotel #susan (derogatory) #writing requests #i actually dont write much rosie so i wanted to be gentle about it #i feel like theyre menaces ill have to write more sometime #hazbin hotel fanfiction

[staliaqueen]

(insp.)

#also eustace is only child (derogatory) #narnia #the chronicles of narnia #tcon #lucy pevensie #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #edmund pevensie #gifs #narniaedit #thechroniclesofnarniaedit #tconedit #lucypevensieedit #peterpevensieedit #susanpevensieedit #edmundpevensieedit #narnianetwork #perioddramaedit #perioddramasource #fantasyedit #disnyedit #disneygifsdaily #animationsdaily #usermoh #userwxwood #usercreate #georgie henley #william moseley #anna popplewell #skandar keynes

[magewolf-the-artist]

Yeah so I decided to update Susan's ref sheet because oh my god it's so fucking ugly-

But yeah, I'm much more satisfied with this one because I've developed my style for drawing these fuckers a lot better and the pose radiates more personality.

Old ref: https://www.tumblr.com/magewolf-the-artist/743345425139040256/on-this-episode-of-walten-files-brainrot-heyyyyyy?source=share

Here's her bio with a couple add-ons:

Apparently she's British (Her accent is still a mystery to me but I've seen a couple people say this so ehhhh). So my headcanon is that her family immigrated to the US when she was four, so while she does have an accent, she doesn't really say any slang. Occasionally she might call someone a twit (affectionate) or a twat (derogatory), but that's about it.

At some point during her fun little maze adventure, the neck cables that held up the animatronic head snapped due to the constant pressure of Susan's broken ass neck forcing her head to loll to the side. While at the facility she found that she can use metal ties to hold the cables upright. She has to tighten them constantly though or else her vision will be forced into portrait mode

Ashley fixed the cable while she, Kevin, and Hilary were there and Susan is forever grateful to her

She probably accidently breaks it again through something stupid like bumping her head against the door frame or something and boy oh boy was she PISSED

On that topic, she tries her best to upkeep her and everyone else's bodies but there's only so much she can do with limited tools and slightly worse motor skills (imagine doing a task that requires very precise movements through winter gloves and you'll pretty much get the idea)

She refuses to repair Bon though and tells him to figure it out himself.

She's become way more snappy, short tempered, and easily frustrated after her death. Trauma, baby!

Susan kinda acts as a shoulder to vent to whenever anyone needs to talk. She can’t really offer much in response or comfort since A, she’s the type to push things away and compartmentalize, and B… well, she can’t exactly promise everything’s gonna be okay, now can she? Still, sometimes it’s nice to just talk

Some days though she just kinda… shuts down emotionally. Just kinda lays on the floor and can’t find any motivation to get up or do anything. Thinking about everything and nothing at the same time, staring blankly into space

Charles usually stays with her during these episodes and depending on the day, he either just sits with her quietly or rambles about random shit like he did when they were alive

Her sleep schedule was super fucked up when they all came to the facility because she was used to being up and around at night. It's gotten better but she still sometimes wakes up buttfuck early and has come to appreciate the serenity of the nights

Probably the most casual about her death, as opposed to Rosemary's crying and Charles desperately trying to change the subject

She walks with a very distinctive shuffle, something she picked up from her fun little maze adventure because the weird shuffle walk helped lessen the pain she put herself through and conserved energy. It used to be a lot more pronounced but it's faded slightly overtime

Usually hangs out with Charles

Is constantly exasperated by Charles' antics

To pass the time she either plays card games with Charles or organizes the tools in the maintenance closet

She tried to talk to Rosemary when they were first brought to the K-9 facility but only got silence in return. She's kinda just given up now and mostly leaves her alone

Is the most familiar with Bon's abilities and didn't even bother trying to escape the facility because she knew it was futile

Helps coach everyone but Rocket on how to move

When helping Ashley figure out to move she probably made an off-handed comment like, "if you think that's hard, imagine having to learn how to do this while being alive" and only realized Ashley had no context for that when she gave her a very confused and worried look

Hates Bon's guts and is usually annoyed/angry with him

She also hates Felix's guts, but everyone does so it's not anything special.

#the walten files #walten files #susan woodings #twf fanart #twf banny #twf susan #the walten files fanart #Domestic K-9

[shirkers2018dirsanditan]

“karen” as a derogatory makes no sense without the age factor because karen was for a while a very popular and trendy name. it was also very popular with black women. it makes no sense that black people, of the “karen” generation, to whom it was a trendy cute girls name, to make the name synonymous with Shrill Nagging Bitch behavior. “karen” is just the name that caught on. but any of the popular names from 1950-1970 for girls can and will and are (be) used in this way. people do it with “sharon” (the name of my aunt and my mom’s late best friend), they do it with “linda,” they do it with “susan,” and so on. and actually “susan,” along with “becky” are racialized because they were more popular with white women, back in the 1980s and 1990s. “becky” is still a popular shorthand for white women that really doesn’t have anything to do with age. the whole point of “karen” is that she is a middle aged woman. she literally does not have to be white lol

#and she never has had to be

[seas-storyarchive]

Date - genderbent au

[[MORE]]

"Alastriona, darling, tell me about your day." Rory said, as they were sat at a booth in a small cafe, having ran out of other meaningless dribble to speak of. In front of Alastriona was a coffee "as black as her soul" that had little grounds in it because she was feeling like an extra bit of bitterness today with a plate that had the specialty ham on rye bread. Not bad, lacked a bit of flavoring but otherwise passable for a sandwich.

Alastriona chuckled at his request, "there isn't much to tell, darling. Hotel business isn't all about managing people - it's paperwork, meetings.. blegh.." she looked at his face, seeing that adoring smile he always gave her. "Tell me about your day, dear."

The man chuckled as he was adding more sugar and cream to his tea and stirring them in. As to how he had no cavities, that was a miracle right there. "Aside from Susan causing trouble at the town meeting, nothing new occurred."

Rory had a plate of cake piled with strawberries and whipped cream in addition to his bowl of gumbo ("I want to try it to see how it measures up to the genuine article, darling." "If you end up liking that bowl of slop that dares compare itself to my cooking, I demand a divorce.") that had meat that tasted raw in a bad way and lacked the seasoning that Alastriona gave her dishes thus it was ignored and deemed slop.

Alastriona fought back a snort, rather unladylike noise honestly but especially in public with her husband, as she smiled at him in a similar manner to which he stared at her. "Well, that old hag never fails to ruin a moment."

They both laughed. Unaware they were being watched.

A sinner demon, their server, had seen the rings, and took a few snapshots - one of the two, and another two zoomed in on the rings.

Bingabonga added to timeline: Holy fuckking fuck!! Radio Demoness and Cannibal King on a date!?! And they're marrried!?!

She added the pictures and then resumed her job. Unaware of what she'd done.

--

Angel was scrolling through his phone, when he got a text from Cherri.

Cherri: hey, dipshit. what you know about this shit?? it's everywhere..

Cherri: [attached link]

Angel looked at it, and felt himself die again. He made a noise that drew everyone's attention.

"Angel?" Charlie was concerned, seeing the spider nearly foaming at the mouth.

The spider turned to Husk and Niffty, who had been playing a card game, looking out of his mind - and not in the usual way.

"Yous fucks know dhat Smiles is married to dhis fuckin' freak?" Angel showed them all his phone. Just in time for a ding to show another picture.

They had kissed. It looked like a chaste, quick, private kiss

"Fuck me to heaven and back." Husk said, not believing his eyes.

"Whoa! I can't wait to ask Miss Alastriona about this!" Niffty was grinning maniacally.

"Hang on - who the fuck would willingly pick Alastriona?" Vaggie asked. "I've heard of that guy's reputation for killing and eating his wife's after a time, so could that be it?" Should they do something? Don't get Vaggie wrong, she still had it out (derogatory) for Alastriona. But if this guy was a threat, they'd have to protect themselves and their friend from this man.

"No way!" Charlie jumped in. "I've met Rory, and saw them interact. She seemed genuinely happy to be around him when she brought me to Cannibal Town."

"Who knows? Maybe it's all for convenience sake?" Lucifer asked. "Wouldn't be the first time something like that has happened to people in their situation to deter unwanted attention."

"Luci, baby, does dhis look like convince ta you?" Angel showed the man his phone as another picture popped up - Rory was feeding Alastriona a forkful of sweet, sugary cake. Blasphemy! "Smiles don't touch sweets! She fuckin' hates them!"

Charlie screamed in excitement. "Let me see! Let me see!" When she saw the picture she screamed again, louder this time. "That's so romantic! Look at how they're looking at each other! Oh, they're so in love!"

"Angel." Husk said sternly, seeing the look on his face.

Angel looked hurt. "What? I just wanted to ask them how they mee-" his phone dinged again. "Dhey're on da move!"

--

The two were walking arm in arm through a park.

"You were right about that gumbo, it didn't taste right." Rory scrunched up his face in disgust.

Alastriona laughed, moving closer to him. "I told you~" she sang, moving a hand up to adjust his hat so the skull was more centered.

"Thank you, my love." Rory smiled, taking the hand she was moving away and pulling it to his lips to kiss her knuckle tenderly.

The cannibal deer chuckled. "Careful now darling, I'd be tempted to think you wanted a bite."

"Just a nibble~" Rory said, giving her fingers a very light nip and humming.

"I.. R- Rory.." Alastriona was keenly aware they were in a park - granted there was no one around - a blush heating up her face as she tore her eyes to look off to the side.

"What is it, my darling deer?" Rory brought them to a bench in that secluded spot.

"I.. I don't deserve your charm.. it.." her face was moved to look at his, and her lips were caught by Rory's own.

"Yes, you do. Remember how you told me that you grew up a Creole in the time that you did?" Rory asked when they pulled away, getting a nod in return. "And, what did I tell you?"

"That.." she took a breath, as those words stole them every time, "that you wished you could see me, before my death, and bask in my beauty as you do now." Fuck, was she about to cry?

Rory said nothing, pulling her close. He looked up, frowned, and reached into his inner coat pocket. He produced a handgun, pointed it in the direction he was frowing, and pulled the trigger. Twice. All without a word, as his wife started to sob into his chest. Being the most vulnerable she'd been with him for about a year. Wether or not she heard the shots, she didn't indicate.

--

"Holy.." The gang had just watched the whole thing, from the time the two walked into the park, to when Rory fired those shots and ended the feed in a screen full of static. And the one who held the camera.

"Fuckers." Husk said, angry.

"We're getting her a therapist." Lucifer said, grabbing his phone.

No one said anything else. They all agreed.

--

When Rory brought Alastriona back to the hotel, it was getting dark out, no trace of her crying was present. Good.

They found everyone in a sitting room, all waiting fro them.

"Hey, uh.. Ona?" Charlie decided to speak up after what felt like an eternity.

"Yes, Charlotte dear?" Ah, radio. Helped make her not feel so raw.

"How long have yous two been married?!" Angel couldn't hold it in anymore.

Alastriona's smile became a flustered blush like nothing they'd ever seen before. "Oh, oh! That little sinner decided to take a few snap shots? Well, to think we'd tipped her rather well. And recommended her to management for a promotion." Shit.. they just made it so the Demoness had lunch picked out for tomorrow.

"Darling." Rory said, honestly happy they could just be themselves around this bunch of misfits, caroling his wife's penchant for violence.

Alastriona sighed, leaning into Rory's side, still able to talk clearly. "We've been married for about.. 27 years."

Rory nodded happily, smiling as he saw everyone's mouths drop. Take that, you pack of degenerates. "Best 27 years of my life."

Alastriona laughed, her face still flustered, as everyone's brains melted out of their ears in shock. She laughed louder when Rory pulled her along out of the room.

"So, darling.. about that gumbo?"

"That's my love."

Angel was the first to speak, "what da hell..."

#hazbin hotel #genderbent au #genderbent radiorose

[tissbutthfourth]

Susan (derogatory)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #radio demon

[mermaidsirennikita]

I realise this is subjective but what's the straight-up most batshit (derogatory or complimentary) thing you've ever read in a book? This doesn't even have to be a rec list, i'm just curious about the Things You've Seen

Good question!

Morning Glory Milking Farm seems so normal now, but when that premise came out it was so crazy. I mean, tbh, the book is actually a pretty normal cozy romance in a lot of ways, just with a really wacky framing (which has kind of become C.M. Nascosta's signature). I'm kinda meh on it, but not because of the premise. Run, Run Rabbit is my Nascosta of Choice.

I began reading Immortals After Dark because I heard of Lothaire's premise, tbh. "3,000 year old vampire (who has been a Big Bad in the other books) finds out hillbilly coed is his fated mate, is like 'oh God, that is SO embarrassing, I can't' and convinces himself that his actual fated mate is the demonic goddess possessing said coed's body, so he puts the coed on DEATH ROW for safekeeping, and five years later shows up to slaughter everyone in prison, rescue the heroine from the lethal injection, and go 'WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU IDIOT???'"

It was the death row element that got me reading. And that's over with in like, the first two chapters. And then it gets CRAZIER. God, I love that book.

The Thornchapel series by Sierra Simone was SUCH a big swing, even by her standards. Six friends try to figure out the creeping, looming darkness in an ancient chapel...? While following ancient sacrificial rites and hooking up with each other? There are two romances (MMF and FF)? How does she juggle all that?

The answer: really, really well. I love that series. Perfect Gothic vibes.

I mean. The Earl Takes All by Lorraine Heath. Gorilla Twins. And she pulled it off to perfection.

The All the King's Men duology by Kennedy Ryan does not seem that bonkers in theory (long-term back and forth between a billionaire oil guy's rebellious son and a Navajo environmental activist-turned-political-operative) but the books are actually iNSANE lol. He's lost in ANTARCTICA at one point????? She's kidnapped by masked men??? There are hostage videos??? Honestly, this duology is kind of like... Scandal vibes, if Scandal hadn't gone completely off the rails. It really may have been Kennedy Ryan watching Scandal and going "... I could do that better". And boy does she.

The Wolf and The Wildflower by Stacy Reid has a gloriously insane premise. The hero is a duke (the Duke of Wolverton or something too??) who was stranded in the Yukon for years and basically became a part of a wolf pack and developed incredibly wolfy habits... So his family hires a father/son pair of psychiatrists to help him adapt back to society... And then he smells the "son" and realizes he's actually a woman in disguise (genuinely, this isn't a gross transphobic plot, the heroine fully identifies as a woman and just disguises herself as a man for Romance Reasons) and detects her WOMANLY SCENT. It. Is. Insane.

Lush Money by Angelina M. Lopez. Lady billionaire offers to financially bail out a small principality on the condition that the heir (who has a genius-level IQ) a) marries her for a year b) gets her pregnant so that she can have a hot, smart royal baby.

Speaking of baby stuff, Nobody's Baby But Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips!!!! The heroine is a genius college professor who graduated from college or got her phD at fourteen or something insane, and she's really socially inept because she never had a normal childhood, so she wants a baby of AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE. Which, despite being a genius, she thinks means having a baby with a dumbass to balance out her intelligence. And she identifies an aging quarterback as a dumbass, so she literally like, seduces him into getting her pregnant. And then he finds up and shows up in her classroom, leaning against the door entryway and going "CLASS IS OVER" lol. God I loved it.

Kiss an Angel by SEP is also insane. Begins with a contemporary forced marriage, then the heroine finds out her new husband (who hates her) is taking her on the road working at a traveling circus??? Where she develops like, a psychic bond with a tiger. His circus trick is the whip trick where he cracks the whip to zap off a flower she's wearing or something.

And he's descended from the Romanovs

#romance novel blogging #book recs #bc honestly i don't hate any of these and love most #mgmf is probs the one i'm least impressed with and it's still cute

[stranger-rants]

Billy Headcanon: After his wife left, their home became disgusting because Neil's a man, so obviously, he's not going to cook or clean since that's a wife's job. It gets to a point that Billy can no longer take it and starts to take care of the house and does the cooking, though it takes time to learn and he has to sneak to the library for recipes. Neil hates it and starts to call Billy a girl and derogatory names, but doesn't stop him because he likes everything being neat and orderly. So, instead, he goes looking for a nice, timid wife to bring home to cook and clean for them, before Billy becomes more like a woman or like 'one of those homosexuals'. He meets Susan, and she's perfect, but with her comes Max, who isn't. The problem for Neil is Max is the boy that Billy should be, but she's supposed to be the girl that Billy is. So he makes comments to Susan about who she should be raising Max to be, and Billy learns to be messy to hide that he actually likes cleaning and cooking, because those aren't things he's supposed to like.

"Max is the boy that Billy should be, but she's supposed to be the girl that Billy is"

That's essentially how I view Billy and Max in terms of gender roles. Max likes girly things and Billy likes masculine things, too, of course. The issue is that they both step out of those "boundaries" which canonically upsets Neil. (Maybe he ran over the skateboard, and blamed Billy... It would divide Billy and Max further, making it easier to control them.)

If Neil is ex-military, he might expect basic neatness. Billy doesn't have the cleanest room, which may drive him nuts. Yet, Billy does decorate his room in a somewhat creative fashion (e.g. making his own vanity, because maybe Neil wont let him have one since that's 'for girls.') I think that's what Neil lacks and Billy misses - a well decorated, comfortable home. Instead, it's impersonal and bare bones like those apartments single guys share photos of on Reddit, until Neil brings a woman into the picture.

As far as food goes, I headcanon that Billy can cook basic foods. Neil worked security, so there may be late nights he wasn't home. There were years he did not have a woman in the house to cook for them, and... does Susan know how to cook? I can't remember if in Runaway Max he hates her cooking or if I just read that in a fanfic. Regardless, Billy would have to fend for himself a lot. So he would have to prepare his own food, wash his own clothes, clean the dishes, etc. All things usually reserved for "mom."

So Billy does it and doesn't even think about it. It's necessary, but Neil is the type of person to bully him for that anyway. I think he would have a difficult relationship with cleaning because what Neil expects and what Billy wants to do are different. Like, maybe Billy wants to put up photos and decor while he's arranging the living room but Neil tells him to stop fussing about and vacuum the floor already.

It's interesting that as a child his bedroom looks neat and well put together, but as a teenager it's chaotic in parts - put together with the scraps leftover from his life. A blanket window covering here. A makeshift vanity there. His bed is basically a sheet covering and a pillow. Random posters from magazines he keeps in his drawer. Mismatched furniture. It's like he's trying to make the best out of it, while Max's bedroom is cozy and welcoming and well coordinated.

If Billy were given the opportunity, he would probably decorate his first apartment the way he wanted and learned how to take care of himself without Neil's judgement on how things should be done. Around Neil, he couldn't even breathe right. When you're out of that situation, you have to spend a lot of time learning how to live.

#asks #billy hargrove #neil hargrove

[narastories]

Ship opinion: Harry/Susan

Love it/ Hate it/ Tolerate it/ Would write it/ Have written it/ Would never write it/ Would read it/ Have read it/ Would never read it/ That would be a TRASH FIRE (affectionate)/ That would be a TRASH FIRE (derogatory)/ Squick/ Yay/ Fits with canon (affectionate)/ Fits with canon (derogatory)/ Makes no sense with canon (affectionate)/ Makes no sense with canon (derogatory)

I honestly feel like "tolerate" has too much of a negative connotation in this list. But that's the in-between option, right? I can't honestly say that I looooove love this ship, but I like it? If that makes sense? (I would only mark the "love" option personally for ships that get me super excited, but that's very objective.)

I think Harry and Susan were fun in canon, I can see them working even after Susan was half-turned and joined the Fellowship. Honestly, I think if they made some different choices they would have worked out <3 So for me, it would be totally plausible to base a fic on that, and I think it could be interesting and enjoyable.

I don't think I have read a fic with them tho, because there don't seem to be a lot (because for some reason the fandom decided to hate Susan. Boggles the mind.) :/

#tumblr ask game #dresden files #harry dresden #susan rodriguez

[nunalastor]

Charlie getting concerned over Lucifer's insistence on proving himself as Alastor's partner to Susan:

-

Charlie: Please dad, c'mon. This isn't worth it!

Lucifer: Charlie. She called me a gigolo. A gigolo! I don't even know what that means but I know I can't let it stand!

Charlie: Who cares!? Susan's mean to everyone! Even if you did somehow get her to like you she'd still be a mean old bitch to you!

Rosie: She absolutely would.

Lucifer: I just need to get through to her that I'm not just playing around with Alastor's (probably shriveled) heart! Cox isn't even that great, he's clearly just as bad as Susan thinks I am! Maybe, no, definitely worse!

Charlie: Wh- You don't even like Alastor!

Lucifer: Not the point.

Rosie: [Chuckles while Charlie groans.]

[Suddenly the doors burst open and Alastor storms in, murder in his eyes.]

Rosie: Enjoy your date, hon?

Alastor: Rosie dear, if you must revel in my suffering, I'd honestly rather you use pliers to remove my fingernails one by one.

[The door bursts open again and Vox and Susan stroll in, smiling and chatting.]

Vox: Oh Alastor, you left the very expensive gift I got you in the car!

Alastor: (through gritted teeth) That's very generous of you, but I-

Susan: [Growls and raises her umbrella threateningly.]

Alastor: ...Thank you.

Susan: (sweetly) Aw, what a nice young man. I don't understand why you two didn't work out.

Susan: (angrily, to Lucifer) Unlike this fuckin' cheapskate over here.

Lucifer: I built him a whole new radio tower!

Susan: Pssht. That fuckin' eyesore? I wouldn't let a pig live in that sty.

Alastor: [Actually likes the new radio tower but refuses to say so.]

Alastor: Well as lovely as it has been to spend time with the both of you, I believe it's time you were on your way. Vox does have quite the hectic schedule to return to, no?

Vox: Alas, being the CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation does eat up one's free time. If only I could spend all day locked up in my mansion playing with toys-

Lucifer: [Eye twitch.]

Vox: -or better yet, doting on you as you deserve. But you're right. I really should be getting back to my important work. It's been just wonderful to see you again, Alastor.

[Under Susan's glare, Alastor holds his hand out for a handshake. Vox takes Alastor's hand, bows, and raises Alastor's hand to his mouth for a kiss. Alastor goes rigid and flashes the radio dial eyes but before he can retaliate, Vox pulls him close and wraps his free hand around Alastor's waist.]

Vox: Until next time, Alastor~

[Vox leaves, shooting a stunned Lucifer and an infuriated Alastor a smug look. Susan is oblivious.]

Susan: Such a romantic. I might just snap him up myself at this rate!

Alastor: By all means, don't let me stand in your way.

Susan: [Swats him with the umbrella.]

Susan: Don't give me that cheek, boy. You're lucky Vox is willing to give you a second chance after you broke his heart! I hope next time I see you, you've pulled that fuck-ass bob outta yer ass and dumped the gigolo.

Susan: [Leaves.]

Alastor: ...Well, if you'll excuse me, I need to go run my hand under boiling water for an hour.

Alastor: [Leaves.]

Charlie: ...Dad?

Lucifer: Yeah?

Charlie: (eyes red, horns out) Destroy that motherfucker.

Lucifer: Oh, with pleasure.

Rosie: (sipping her tea) Oooh, things are about to get really interesting...

👀

#hazbin hotel #alastor #radioapple #lucifer #appleradio #radio apple #apple radio #asks #nunalastor asks #susan (derogatory) #the cox chronicles

[zappedbyzabka]

Had a thought that I felt the need to share so hear me out

TKk x Mean Girls cross over

Susan and Janis talk about girls together and Janis and Damian become friends with Ali’s group.

Daniel, Janis, Damian and Cady are friends and constantly talk about the popular kids in a mostly derogatory or rude sense.

the cobra’s are cool with Gretchen and Karen but they like Regina and Johnny more.

Regina and Johnny are the queens of the school, of course. Everybody hates them but also cannot help the fact that they are stunning.

I rest my case

That’s a fun idea!

Lmao. I think Tommy and Karen would get along. He’s always being goofy and she’s ditsy—Which sometimes comes across as the same thing.

Jimmy and Gretchen both say weird nonsense all the time but Gretchen talks a lot more.

Regina and Johnny are different in the way her home life is spoiled and rich, his is abusive and rich. She doesn’t have much sympathy since she’s never had really…any bad experiences besides Cady showing up. Johnny literally didn’t care about Cady at all besides empathetic annoyance for Regina who complains about her and Janice and joins in to make her less irritated.

Sometimes he thinks she likes girls just like how she accuses Janice—though he only tells the Cobras about that theory.

Daniel and Janice talk a lot of shit while convincing themselves that they aren’t talking shit.

#That’s all I got but #awesome

[timemachineyeah]

It's been Banned Books Week for three full days already and I didn't know?!?

Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe Reasons: Banned, challenged, and restricted for LGBTQIA+ content, and because it was considered to have sexually explicit images

Lawn Boy by Jonathan Evison Reasons: Banned and challenged for LGBTQIA+ content and because it was considered to be sexually explicit

All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson Reasons: Banned and challenged for LGBTQIA+ content, profanity, and because it was considered to be sexually explicit

Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Perez Reasons: Banned, challenged, and restricted for depictions of abuse and because it was considered to be sexually explicit

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas Reasons: Banned and challenged for profanity, violence, and because it was thought to promote an anti-police message and indoctrination of a social agenda

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie Reasons: Banned and challenged for profanity, sexual references and use of a derogatory term

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews Reasons: Banned and challenged because it was considered sexually explicit and degrading to women

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison Reasons: Banned and challenged because it depicts child sexual abuse and was considered sexually explicit

This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson Reasons: Banned, challenged, relocated, and restricted for providing sexual education and LGBTQIA+ content.

Beyond Magenta by Susan Kuklin Reasons: Banned and challenged for LGBTQIA+ content and because it was considered to be sexually explicit. 

#timemachine wuz here #I clearly have not been paying attention #banned books #banned books week #one of the best american observances I love it #go read something someone doesn't want you read right now

[error404vnotfound]

JANE AUSTEN RANKED BY YOURS TRULY

hi :]

it is done. I've read it all (*kicks Lady Susan under a rug*) what was that?

anyways

after seven whole months i come to you with the objectively correct ranking of JA main novels, heroines, and heroes

i will not be taking any criticism

let's begin then

on the line today we have

Northanger Abbey with contestants Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney

Sense and Sensibility's Elinor and Marianne Dashwood, Edward Ferrars and Colonel Brandon

Emma's own Emma Woodhouse, George Knightley and Frank Churchill

Persuasion bringing Anne Eliot and Captain Wentworth

and Mansfield Park's Fanny Price, Edmund Bertram and Henry Crawford

v what do you mean Frank and Henry they aren't Heroes why are you ranking them?

well because I can and want to

v what about Pride and Prejudice?

i can't be objective about it or Darcy or Lizzy. it would be unfair to everyone else. tho you are right I will be ranking Charles Bingley I have things to say about the man

cool? cool

THE NOVELS

yes i will only be ranking the main novels (and no lady susan because i dont want to reread it)

LOVED THEM TIER

EMMA

i did not want this book to end, i was having the time of my life. it's just. so good

reading it knowing what is going on was a delightful experience

i love emma and knightley so much

maple grove should burn to the ground. for my sanity

NORTHANGER ABBEY

Catherine carried this book that's all I gotta say

coming of age story but make it the 19th century

below Emma because I can take reading about Maple Grove but not hearing the Thorpes speak

I JUST THINK THEY ARE NEAT :]

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY

I just. think it's neat

I really have nothing else to say. I was invested, I felt for Elinor, and Marianne's evolution was 10/10

fuck John Dashwood for cutting down that tree

IM SORRY JANE (aka the Fail Love Interest Syndrome)

PERSUASION

i was a little bored ngl

did like Anne well enough tho

also. that piano scene. thanks I hate it. it will haunt me for the rest of my life

MANSFIELD PARK

Mary and Edmund ruined this for me in the way that they represent everything wrong with the allos and in the way that i wanted to slap them both out of their nonsense

i also didn't connect much with Fanny so :/

HEROINES

no tiers, just ranking them :]

EMMA (Emma)

I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER

Emma never change

she's so wrong all the time and I love her so much

<3

CATHERINE (NA)

MY GIRL

she's aggressively 17 (affectionate)

a DELIGHT

she grows so much 😭😭😭 im so proud of her

she will be an amazing adult

ELINOR (S&S)

it's the eldest daughter hardship for me

she puts up with so much bullshit from everyone around her

deserves a paid vacation, the right to murder people, and a nap, not necessarily in that order

lowkey carried

MARIANNE (S&S)

I will be the first to admit that I disliked her at first because she was aggressively 17 (derogatory)

but she !!!!! grows so much !!!!!! im so proud of her

always championed her older sister when no one else would and for that i gotta love her

ANNE (Persuasion)

suffers from FLIS (fail love interest syndrome)

girl it's been 8 years supéralo

also puts up with so much the sad bitch I do love her

FANNY (MP)

FLIS

had the chance of marrying Henry but didn't take it (like. I get why. but I'd respect her more for being a I Can Fix It Girlie than settling for the piece of wet bread that's Edumnd)

did not connect with her at all sorry bestie :(

HEROES (and then some)

i will put them into tiers. because I have Issues with most of them. also im judging them solely on how they relate to their Heroine that's the only worth they have to me

FAULTLESS

KNIGHTLEY (Emma - Emma)

what can I say he had impeccable chemistry with Emma

they were married from page 1

he truly cares for her and to make her improve as a person and I love him

COOL DUDE

EDWARD (S&S - Elinor)

my guy

had a scene with big brother energy with Marianne and I was sold

could use a little bit more Standing Up For Your Future Happiness but it's in character so I'll give him a pass

HENRY (NA - Catherine)

he's said to be the best Austen men and while I get why I just. he just wasn't giving to me

but yeah good to Catherine, amazing brother to his sister, knows feminine interests, amiable, etc

suffers from NA was the first book i read back in may so i dont remember much of his moments

LITTLE SHIT <3

CRAWFORD (NA)

my fail boy

the one plot point I enjoyed

let's point and laugh at the flirt that falls in love with the mildest girl ever who dislikes him and then when he's refused has an affair with a married woman

way to go bud ily

FRANK CHURCHILL (Emma)

he's such a piece of shit

was very fun to read

Jane should dump him tho he doesn't deserve her

I'LL BE WATCHING YOU, BUD

BINGLEY (P&P - Jane)

DARCY'S NOT THE BOSS OF YOU, MAN

can't be mad at him for long because of the puppy energy he has tho

BUT MAN THAT WAS ALMOST A YEAR'S ABSENCE YOU GOT AWAY WITH

COLONEL BRANDON (S&S - Marianne)

MY DUDE. WHY DIDN'T YOU SPILL THE TEA SOONER

oh yeah I'll let this Confirmed Rake keep courting the woman I'm in love with while everyone expects them to be either engaged or about to be as I know he's literally the worst, make sense

i just can't wrap my head around it

BOOOOOOO (FLIS)

CAPTAIN WENTWORTH (Persuasion - Louisa Anne)

more like captain failworth

people love this man and I just don't get it

MAN IT'S BEEN 8 YEARS. GET OVER IT

he's spiteful and resentful towards Anne when she did was she had to idk dude grow tf up

almost gets trapped in a marriage with a silly girl because he's dumb (good thing the girl is silly and jumped off a cliff so he could run back to anne) (that's an exaggeration but basically)

your only point of redemption is that by marrying you Anne gets out of the toxic environment she was in

EDMUND (NA - Mary Fanny)

imagine a glass of water. imagine that glass of water under the sun. not just any sun, no, a good midday August Spanish sun. imagine now a piece of bread. good. put that piece of bread inside the glass of water. that's this guy to me

all holier than thou but then spends 98% of the novel thinking with his dick

i. hate him.

takes fanny for granted

marries fanny because it's convenient (AND IN LIKE. THE THIRD TO LAST PARAGRAPH WHEN IN THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH HE WAS STILL COMPLAINING ABOUT MARY!!!!!! DUDE!!!!!!)

he's the worst

everyone that sucked gets punished but him

i want to personally kill this man

and that was basically it thanks for coming with me in this journey wow that was fun

hi @my-cursed-prince

#v reads the classics

[supernovasilence]

nope nope nopity nope

(once again I am complaining about tumblr not anyone whose posts are in this)

It seems tumblr's latest update changed how pictures are viewed. When you click on a picture to see the fullscreen version you get all these overlays which. I do not like. I guess there is some useful info in there like how many pictures are left in the post but it's really starting to remind me of instagram (derogatory) where you can barely see videos because of buttons all over the screen and any captions end up impossible to read. It all goes away if you click again so I guess it's alright for now but I am still wary. I Do Not Trust where this is heading but I am giving it the benefit of the doubt.

But! if you swipe up, instead of un-fullscreening the picture as we all expect the app to do and have muscle memory for, it does this:

It goes to a new post. This is not the next picture in the post. (I noticed it trying to swipe off the last picture but it does happen with every picture in the set. It's very easy to accidentally swipe the wrong way--say, because you have mobility issues--and jump to a post you didn't want.) This is not the next post in the tag I was searching. This is not the next post on OP's blog, because, as you can see, when I click off and back again, I get a different post every time. (These were all swiping up from that same picture of Susan.) This is the next post the tumblr algorithm wants me to see.

This is the next post the tumblr algorithm wants me to see.

This is the next post the tumblr algorithm wants me to see.

And the mere phrase "tumblr algorithm" is raising every last one of my hackles.

@staff @wip I really do appreciate that you keep this hellsite running and thank you for continually trying to update the app but not like this @everyone else: has anyone found a switch to disable this yet please I am begging

#tumblr #tumblr update #tumblr algorithm #nova actually posts stuff #(also the little green 'draft saved!" message popping up every three seconds while I was writing this was very annoying) #(but that's a separate issue)

[sapphicsigh]

Can't stop thinking about how fucked it is that we have to sit in a cis therapist's office dissecting our gender identity for hours in order to be given gender affirming care. Like...I don't fucking know what my gender is!!! I know I'm not cis (derogatory) and that's it. I don't know what the fuck the vibe is!!! Why should I have to explain it to you Susan?! Fuck off

PS: Imagine interrogating a cis man or woman for the same amount of time when they want fucking calf implants or a boob job. They go to the plastic surgeon, are like "idk I just feel like getting this (fill in the blank procedure), it'll make me feel better for xyz reasons and THEY FUCKING GET IT. There's not a weeks/months long INTERROGATION/GRILLING PROCESS. the plastic surgeon isn't asking Karen EXACTLY why she wants bigger boobs or why she thinks they'll make her life better, they just fucking GIVE THEM TO HER (the breast implants). FUCK EVERYTHING

#lesbian #today on tumblr #lgbtq #queer #i love trans people #trans #gender is a social construct #what even is gender #rant post #mini rant #screaming crying throwing up #screaming crying throwing myself against a wall