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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 5 months

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I'm back on my bullshit thinking about the Hawke siblings again and how much I love a "both twins live" AU... but y'know what I love just a little bit more? An AU where all three Hawke siblings are alive, but one of the twins still get attacked by the ogre in Lothering and is presumed dead when they actually survived.

I like to think that since the narrative in DA2 is framed as a story Varric's telling Cassandra, we can play around with the fact that he's an unreliable narrator. Varric wasn't there in Lothering. He only knows what Hawke told him. It makes for a better story if Leandra, Hawke, and the surviving twin get to huddle around the dead twin and say their goodbyes... especially if they didn't actually get to do that. I mean, a lot of us already have that train of thought when it comes to Leandra's death and Hawke getting some closure through her final words telling them how proud she is. Whose to say Varric didn't do that for the lost twin, as well?

All that to ask what if the ogre attack happened, but the group was so overwhelmed by darkspawn they had to flee further and couldn't check the twin who "died?" Flemeth still showed up, but it was too late to go back and say goodbye.... so Hawke made a deal with the Witch of the Wilds and they all pushed forward to Kirkwall.

Imagine Bethany, left behind with broken bones and bleeding in the sand, fading in and out of consciousness as the remaining darkspawn surround her. She knows how to heal, how to fight back, but she's weakened. Her staff lays out of reach. Air shakes in her lungs. She tries to call for help, but only wheezes come out. Where's her mother? Her siblings? Did the ogre get them, too?

At this point, we all know what happens to the women darkspawn take, and Bethany could've met that fate; she doesn't have the strength to fight back as they drag her away. But before they can bring her underground, she's saved by another group of survivors. Perhaps they're more soldiers fleeing Ostagar, or townsfolk who recognize her from Lothering. They do what they can to treat her wounds but she needs a healer, so they bring her with them to seek refuge in Redcliffe... except they eventually realize she's an apostate. Well, she doesn't seem dangerous, but they still contact the templars.

Bethany wakes in a warm but unfamiliar bed with skilled healers tending to her. Templars hover by the doorway. First Enchanter Irving greets her, gentle in explaining she's safe inside of Kinloch Hold and that she's going to survive. When Bethany asks about her family, he gives her a sympathetic smile and says they only found her.

Bethany, who never took to embracing her magic the way her older sibling did and always felt like it burdened her family... has lost that very family. Could they survive the ogre and darkspawn? Or did the ogre tear them apart, too? How did she survive... but not them? Did the Maker really have such a sense of humor? How else would she end up in the Circle, a place her family went to great lengths to keep her safe from?

She doesn't want to think about it. She hopes they made it to Kirkwall, but the prickle of dread that crawls up her spine knows how unlikely it is. Bethany finds comfort in speaking with the mages who rotate in to heal and bring her food. Some feel trapped by their magic just as she does, but others remind her of her older sibling in the way they embrace their magic, a gift from the Maker. The younger apprentices who aid the mages ask her questions about what lies beyond the walls. The templars mostly keep their distance, but one is friendlier than others. A man with curly blonde hair and a sympathetic view of the mages bothers to speak to her more than his fellows do.

She's still in recovery when Uldred and his blood mages attack the tower, but she survives. Bethany heals, even as she's haunted by nightmares of the ogre wrapping its tainted hand around her body to crush her, flinging her aside to lay among the limp bodies of her family... haunted by the horrors the blood mages unleashed on the tower. She aids in restoring the tower the best she can, and accepts her new home, her new life. When she's well enough, she lights a candle for each of them; her father, mother, her eldest sibling, her twin... she even lights a candle for the family mabari, and prays to the Maker to give them her love as they stand at His side.

The Blight ends. Years pass. Bethany settles into her new life, becoming a fine example for the younger apprentices she mentors. She witnesses wrong doings against her fellow mages, loses friends to their harrowings or tranquility. She accepts what she is, even if bitterly. The Chantry's teachings about magic scar more than enlighten; she sees it in some of her fellow mages, feels it in herself. Secret meetings. Whispers of escape, of freedom. More escape attempts. Harsher restrictions.

Around this time, back in Kirkwall, Knight-Captain Cullen stands where he always does in the Gallows courtyard. He notices Hawke appear with some of their companions. It hurts to think back to Kinloch Hold, but something occurs to him: he knew of another Hawke who was brought to the Circle while he served there. They only spoke once before... well, before. He wonders if there's any relation. When Hawke wanders over to speak to him, as they always do, Cullen brings it up.

Hawke pales. A beat of silence. Cullen recognizes heartbreak; he sees it unfold in their eyes and swell in their throat as they realize that all this time, their baby sister was alive.

Then the day comes where new whispers float among the mages in the Circle. A visit by a Grey Warden. Most, including Bethany, assume he's here to recruit... until Irving comes to her. He says this warden's requested, though more like insisted, he see her now. But then Irving smiles; the warden in question said his name is Warden Carver. He received an urgent letter that his sister is here, alive, and he demands to know if that's true.

Bethany nearly collapses when she sees him.

While the reunion can't last; she can't leave the Circle and he has his calling; the twins embrace, sobbing out apologies and exclamations that they thought the other was gone. Carver tells her of Kirkwall, the expedition that led him to the Grey Wardens, and their older sibling's status as Champion. With a gentleness she never knew her brother to have, he tells her what happened to their mother, and more tears flow freely. Their sibling learned about her from a templar, though Carver grumbles that the bastard could've said something sooner.

There's the Maker's humor again.

...Now flip the script: imagine Carver being left behind instead.

For as strong and passionate as he is, that ogre still picks him up and slams him to the ground. Bones crack. Black splotches flood his vision, agony exploding across his skin. His sword flies from his hand. The soulless bastard tosses Carver aside like he's nothing, and he's left to lay there. His mother's cries muffle in his ear as though he's stuck underwater, sinking slowly into the dark.

It figured, honestly... that he'd survive Ostagar while his fellow soldiers were cut down all around him, that he and his eldest sibling would flee the field when all hope was lost... that he'd make it home to get his family out of Lothering... only to die protecting his mother. And why not? He is a protector. A warrior. It's a honor to die saving those he loved... so why didn't it give him peace?

Carver eventually wakes in the night among the bodies of fallen darkspawn. Everything aches painfully hot and his thoughts reject coherency. He knows his family is gone; they're dead, or they've fled... either way, he's alone; left behind. Something's broken inside of him, but he has just enough will to pull himself up at the sound of approaching footsteps. A group of survivors find him- funny enough, the same group who aided Bethany in an alternate timeline. Imagine that.

That's how Carver ended up in Redcliffe's Chantry with an overworked healer tending to him. He doesn't even flinch when the mage works their magic on him, knowing all too well the sensation of healing magic seeping into his skin, mending the flesh. He tries not to think of Bethany, or what might've happened to her.

The Chantry's overwhelmed with townspeople hiding from a danger outside that he can only assume is darkspawn... except it's not. He wonders how hard he hit his head when he hears the undead have come from the castle to slaughter what they can of the town every night. But then he sees it with his own eyes when one breaks in, taken down by a templar, and never before has he ever felt so useless.

Then the last two remaining Grey Wardens arrive. They're crucial in the final fight against the undead, swearing to enter the castle to stop the attacks at the source. While Carver couldn't participate in the final fight, something he complained loudly about, he did what he could in his condition to help like sharpening swords and handing out supplies. Mostly to keep his sanity and quite his thoughts throughout his recovery.

When the time came, he took up his sword again in the name of all those he lost.

An archdemon was said to be on the horizon, and the Grey Wardens needed everyone they could get to fight. Carver fights in the battle of Denerim where the Hero of Fereldan defeated the archdemon. He cuts his way through every darkspawn he sees. Ostagar flashes red behind his eyes. Lothering clutches at his heart. So much anger and sorrow built up inside him, flooding out in his tears and screams. Blood everywhere. Fire and smoke.

Then it's over.

In the aftermath of the Blight, like so many others, Carver has no home to return to. No family. He thinks to go back to Lothering to help rebuild, only to hear the lands were too tainted. These tainted creatures took everything from him... That's what eventually brings him to Vigil's Keep, standing before the Hero of Fereldan themself, asking to be made a Grey Warden. He already dedicated nearly two years of his life to killing darkspawn, and he had nothing else. Even when faced with the Joining, holding the chalice of darkspawn blood and being told to drink, he didn't flinch.

Life as a Grey Warden isn't as simple as he assumed it would be, but Carver finds purpose in his calling. Over the years, he grows to view his fellow wardens as family. He travels all over Thedas, venturing down into the Deep Roads to help clear out hoards of the darkspawn. But then comes the day he finds himself in Kirkwall, and it doesn't take long before he hears the name Hawke on the lips of the townspeople. His eldest sibling was not only alive, but they're quite popular among the people. But what about Mother? Bethany? He doesn't have to snoop too far to learn templars took Bethany away to the Gallows, and that Leandra Hawke was the final victim in a string of murders committed by a blood mage.

Carver finds himself standing outside the estate, glaring at the door. Furious. Heartbroken. Bitter. He wants to scream. This entire time, they lived. He's torn between wanting to reunite with his older sibling again, to get the truth from them, and wanting to barge into the estate, demanding answers to how they could let the Circle take Bethany... after what Carver sacrificed, how could they let Mother die like that? Was it all pointless in the end?

He leaves without knocking. He can't bring himself to see them. Not that it mattered. Before he could leave Kirkwall, the tensions with the qunari finally overflowed, and chaos fell upon the city. He's forced face to face with his older sibling again, but he wasn't prepared to watch the recognition slowly bloom on their face, or for all his anger to turn to mush. Carver's the first to speak.

"Somehow, I knew it would be you."

.............So, yeah. I really like this idea.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #bethany hawke #carver hawke #long post #there are so many routes you can take with this too like hawke finds out bethany's alive in fereldan's circle #and they gather all their companions like 'y'all we're doing a heist' 'great what are we stealing?' 'my sister'#'...isn't your sister dead?' 'APPARENTLY NOT'#or carver and anders could know each other from the wardens and one day anders tells hawke that they remind him of another warden he knew #and hawke is like '.............that little shit survived and he didn't tell me?? i'm telling mother'#OR both bethany and carver end up as wardens and happen to run into each other like '????? I thought you were dead?????'#and tbh bethany doesn't have to end up in the circle or carver with the wardens. that's just the paths i explored #maybe they're found by the warden and alistair who have wynne fix them up and they join the dao party #hell this could be backstory for an inquisitor carver or inquisitor bethany in dai #also yes this post is my way of saying that i love this idea but i'll probably never turn it into a fic so let me gush about it this way

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flashhwing · 1 year

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in my warden cousland-hawke au, i think Leandra and Bethany and Carver, believing that all grey wardens died at ostagar (carver's eyewitness account is pretty harrowing), would leave Lothering before Hawke and Alistair and Morrigan come through, which is before Hawke starts calling himself Cousland

the result of this is you've got the three Hawkes in Kirkwall getting letter from survivors of Lothering like "hey just thought you should know your other son is alive! we saw him after the battle but before the village was destroyed!"

but then they're also hearing about how the Only Two Surviving Ferelden Grey Wardens Ended The Blight! Warden (now King) Alistair Theirin and Warden (now Arl/Warden-Commander) Whatsisname Cousland! Hawke who the fuck is he never heard that name idk are you sure he's a warden?

and they are simply not sure what to believe

#hawke in amaranthine spending precious resources on *where the fuck did my family end up*#those not in the know like 'why is the warden commander looking for some random family'#those in the know (the seneschal at the very least; probably the warden recruits too) like no we fully get it #hawke finally tracks them down like partway through the equivalent of da2 act 1 #immediately drops everything and goes to kirkwall #people are like 'ooooh the hero of ferelden's coming to kirkwall! bet he's gonna have meetings with the viscount or knight-commander'#and then he just barges into some random house in the slums of lowtown #cue tearful family reunion #(and no small amount of carver jealousy)#warden hawke au #this has been a post #dragon age

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sapphim · 6 months

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Mysterious selections of dialogue from the Finding Nathaniel quest. Good lord what is happening in there.

Hawke: [Why are you here?] Delilah says you followed my expedition's route. Why?

Nathaniel: You went further into the Deep Roads than anyone believed possible.

Nathaniel: The First Warden himself ordered this investigation. [Mysterious unused plot flag 257:]

Nathaniel: We have been sworn to secrecy. I cannot reveal more. [else:]

Nathaniel: I was offered a generous share of the salvage, plus extra coin up front to discourage any… curiosity.

—

Hawke: [What happened here?] It looks like you met heavy resistance. [Architect dead:]

Nathaniel: After the Warden-Commander killed the Architect, we thought it would be decades before the Deep Roads would be infested again. [Architect alive:]

Nathaniel: After the Warden-Commander spared the Architect, we thought the ensuing struggle among the darkspawn might make the Deep Roads safer.

Nathaniel: The Warden's allies assured us these tunnels would still be mostly clear.

Nathaniel: But it seems they were wrong.

Hawke: [Who are these allies?] They seem to know a great deal about darkspawn. Are these allies dwarves?

Nathaniel: No, not dwarves. It's… complicated. Let's just say we live in strange times.

Hawke: [The Architect?] Who is the Architect?

Nathaniel: The Architect was the first of the speaking and thinking darkspawn. Very dangerous.

Nathaniel: He spread his "gift" to other darkspawn—the disciples. Fortunately, their numbers are few.

—

Hawke: [Answer more questions first.] Before I help you, I'd like to know why the Wardens were here in the first place.

Nathaniel: I promised to keep some matters secret. I will not disgrace my family any further by oath-breaking.

Nathaniel: But you have my word your efforts will be well compensated.

—

Nathaniel: Temmerin. Good man! Are there any other survivors?

Temmerin: Hopefully up ahead.

Temmerin: Well met are strangers in the belly of the earth. [Mysterious unused plot flag 257:]

Temmerin: I hope Ser Fenley won't mind, but I set up the explosives here and there. [else:]

Temmerin: Hope you don't mind, Warden, but I set up the explosives here and there.

Temmerin: Figured I'd blow up as many of the 'spawn as I could before I embraced the stone.

Nathaniel: Temmerin, the way behind us is clear.

Nathaniel: Send word to the Wardens in case we don't make it.

—

Bethany: [rival] Are you here to "save" me again?

Nathaniel: You know each other?

Bethany: [S/he] is my [sister/brother].

Hawke: [Pull yourself together.] You're not dead yet. Shake it off! There's work to be done.

Bethany: [rival] You sound just like Ser Fenley—before the Children devoured him.

—

Nathaniel: I apologize I couldn't answer all your questions. You may have them yet, in the fullness of time.

Hawke: Stay safe, Nathaniel.

Nathaniel: You as well.

—

He's lying btw we will not have the answers in the fullness of time.

#canonical texts

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sulky-valkyrie · 6 months

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Hawke twins- cryptophasia / twin speak (a language only they understand). Perhaps a bittersweet memory of the survivor

Happy Friday, Tea! I actually restarted this 2 or 3 times until And Idea hit me like a truck, and I'm kinda playing around with what cryptophasia could mean in a world with magic, but I hope you enjoy it anyway <3 for @dadrunkwriting

Carver woke up from the worst dreams he’d had since the archdemon died, and with a terrible headache. He sat up with a groan and pressed the heel of his hand against his temple.

“You look like you’ve been carousing with hurlocks all night,” Stroud said.

He snorted and grabbed his waterskin to splash a bit on his face. “Give me some credit, at least I never kissed an ogre, drunk or sober.” He rolled his shoulders to try to loosen the tension in his neck. “You have any strange dreams last night?”

“Nothing outside of the ordinary.” Stroud shugged. “The song is louder, but that’s to be expected here. You have been in the Deep Roads before, haven’t you?”

He started to snarl something back, but held his tongue. The Commander had told him under no uncertain terms to play nice with the Orlesians, but Maker, it was hard some days. “I was down here before and after the Thaw. This dream wasn’t just the usual chittering, more like going through the Joining again. It almost felt like -” he bit his lip. No, that would be impossible. He’d hadn’t been pulled into Bethy’s dreams since he left Lothering over two years ago.

Stroud raised an eyebrow but didn’t press him. “The Roads under the Vinmarks are particularly unsettling. Hopefully you will be too tired to dream again tonight.”

Carver nodded and pushed himself to his feet. “Couldn’t agree more. Onwards then?”

He wasn’t too tired. Or maybe he was so tired he couldn’t fight it. Their father had taught them both about shielding their dreams from spirits the week after Bethany manifested, and while it had worked, it wasn’t the way he would have preferred. Instead of closing her mind off to everyone, she’d hid in Carver’s dreams at night, or dragged him into hers. They’d spent every night for nearly ten years fighting each other’s nightmares together. Hers had always been more fearsome, with many tentacled creatures dragging her into a lake that was far too dark and viscous to be water, or suits of armor grabbing her by her hair and carrying her to impossibly tall towers with no doors. His dreams had been about his teeth falling out, or getting chased by a bear through town without any trousers on.

After Ostagar, though, he’d tried to do it properly. Tried to shut her out so she never saw the memories of the battle that haunted his dreams. As far as he knew, it had worked, or maybe she’d stopped trying. Or maybe she was dead.

The dreams were even worse that night, full of red crystals and claustrophobia and talking rocks, all playing out like a shadow puppet play across torrents of blood and fire and darkspawn screams. People were screaming Bethany’s name, and he heard Bethany screaming his.

“Carver!” His eyes snapped open. It was Stroud, shaking his shoulder. “Pack of hurlocks near, we need to move.”

Normally, that would’ve sent him into a panicked flurry of activity, but this time, all he felt was relief. It wasn’t Bethy, this is all my imagination, or maybe some new kind of Awakened. He stuffed his gear into his pack as Stroud stamped out the fire, then they headed out, following the scent of death and the buzzing in the back of their heads.

Using torches or lanterns this close to darkspawn was never wise or safe, so their only light was the faint glow of their amulets. The Commander gave them to all the recruits now; it was still a vial of darkspawn blood, of course, but now, they were enchanted to give off just enough light that a careful human could travel through the Deep Roads without tripping on everything. It had been a hard-learned lesson from too many instances of running into walls or falling into holes, and Carver’s nose still throbbed with phantom pain when he thought about the number of times Morrigan had sneeringly reset it.

The recruits were told it was 'just' a vial of darkspawn blood, but senior Wardens knew it was a little something more. The loss of so many at Ostagar, then later at Vigil’s Keep, had made the Commander insistent on the development of contingency plans.

The discordant melody tugged at his heart as they crept onward, urging him to go faster, begging him to find them, find something, hurry, please, hurry. It filled him with dread even as he obeyed, marching faster, then, when that wasn't enough, breaking into a jog. Someone was down there, and they needed him.

"What are you doing?" Stroud hissed as he sped up a third time.

"Need to keep moving, need to find them," he muttered, before breaking into a reckless sprint.

Stroud tackled him from behind and rolled him over when he was still stunned. "The song has you," he said as he slapped him. "Fight it!"

Carver caught his hand before a second blow connected. "It's not the song!" It was, but not in the same way. "It's - can't you feel it?"

"You're bewitched, Hawke!"

Struggling would only waste time. Time he didn't have. He took a shuddering slow breath to calm himself down. "I’m - shit. You’re right,” he lied. “We need to deal with whatever is causing it. Some kind of emissary, or a demon." It was neither; he was certain of that. But Stroud would never believe him now. Play along, or we'll never make it in time.

Stroud frowned, obviously wanting to argue, but knowing he couldn't. The whole point of this trip had been to investigate the reports of strange activity under the Vinmarks, and an emissary changing the song definitely qualified. "You will stay behind me," he ordered severely. "And if you run again, I'll cut you down."

Hurry, please, hurry. It wasn't a voice, so much as a feeling, a bright descant threading through the jangling darkspawn melody that thrummed in his mind.

Carver closed his eyes and nodded as much to Stroud as the plea. I'm trying.

Stroud got up warily, and reached for his weapon as Carver stood. When he didn't immediately bolt down the tunnel, he sighed in relief and let go of his sword hilt. "Which way?"

They kept going. Stroud didn't argue with Carver’s directions, and, in fact, seemed to anticipate them. Whatever or whoever wanted Carver to come this way, it was very near the hurlocks they’d been hunting anyway. The desperate pleading music faded away, but the darkspawn presence never wavered, only strengthened as they neared.

Carver didn't mention that it was gone. Maybe I did imagine it. Hopefully whatever - whoever - they found down there would be explanation enough. Another Awakened, perhaps?

When they heard the sound of fighting, it was Stroud who took off running first. Bloody hypocrite. Carver pulled out his sword and charged after him around the corner, only to almost skewer him as he clattered to a halt. They were at an excavated section of the Deep Roads, one with real torches and magma troughs. “Anders?” Stroud muttered incredulously.

What? Can’t be - Karl said he died. He peered over Stroud’s shoulder, blinking against the glare of torchlight.

A blond man kicked a screaming genlock off the ledge then spun his staff in a low circle, setting a glyph at his feet then dancing backwards as lightning surged up through it and arced into the two remaining. “Be with you in a tic, little busy!”

Maker preserve us, how? That really was Anders Thekla; Carver would recognize his battle magic anywhere, even when it wasn’t being used on him directly.

As the last darkspawn disintegrated to ash, Anders turned around. “Stroud.” He frowned in recognition. “Carver?”

What the void did I do? Before he could ask, Anders ducked back into the side tunnel that must’ve been where he’d come from.

“Carver?!” Someone shouted. Someone who sounded like his damn brother.

Stroud glanced back and arched an eyebrow. “What did you do?”

He swallowed. “Been a Warden for two years,” he mumbled.

“That’s not an answer.”

“Yeah, it is.” He put up his sword and walked out. “Garrett? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Long story,” Anders sighed as he re-emerged, followed by a dwarf and Garrett.

His brother stepped into the flickering light and, for once, he wasn’t smiling. Even when he’d been in screaming matches with Mother, he’d smiled. Even when they’d burned Father’s ashes, he’d smiled. “Carver, I tried.” He knelt on the ground and gently put the bundle down that he was carrying. “I really fucking tried. Should’ve been me. Always should’ve been me.”

The bundle was their sister. Everything clicked into place. He rushed over as he ripped his gauntlets off, then pulled her to his chest. Her brow was sweaty, and the veins in her throat were black. Blight sickness. She coughed weakly as her eyes fluttered open. “Carver? Am I dead?”

“Not yet,” he whispered as he pulled her close. “What are you doing down here? What happened?”

"Expedition," she wheezed, breath whistling like her chest was full of holes. "Money to get back the estate." She shuddered in his arms. "One less mouth for her to feed, now, right?"

"No, no, no, this can't -" he stopped and glared at Garrett. "Why did you bring her?"

Garrett's jaw clenched and he swallowed. "I didn't fucking -"

"You did! You were supposed to keep her safe!" Carver shouted. "Now look at her. Look at what you did!"

Bethy’s finger pressed against his lips. "You sound like Mother. I'm a grown woman, Carver. This was my choice. My screw up. Not his." She coughed again. "Not yours either."

Maker, how did she always know what was the best and worst thing to say? His fury vanished, leaving him hollow and aching. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't," she said. "I - I didn't think it would work, after so long, but I called, and you're here. I can at least say goodbye." She offered a watery smile then fainted.He shook his head as he ripped the vial from his neck. The Commander had told them all that this wasn't an option to be taken lightly, but dammit, this was Bethany. "Stroud, get some of that blood, and the goblet. We're doing the Joining."

#da drunk writing circle #prompt fills #carver hawke #stroud #too many wardens

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mmuschi · 7 months

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Drowning in Blood and Booze

Pairing: Rolan/named Tav 3.504 words

Summary: Gale and Rolan set out on a mission to help their dear friend deal with her survivor's guilt, but seem to accidentally drag up a past she wanted to keep buried.

There will be multiple parts. I have no end in sight yet. I posted it on AO3 too

TW: Suicidal ideations, depression, alcoholism, and major spoilers

The Elderbrain was dead. Baldur’s Gate was destroyed, yet now safe. Bethany’s friends had all gone their separate paths. Gale went back to Waterdeep. Karlach went to Avernus with Wyll. Laezel went to fight for her people. Who knows what Astarion decided to do. The only person she knew stayed in Baldur’s Gate was Shadowheart, though she was helping Isobel rebuild.

Bethany was alone once again, not even the parasite in her brain to keep her company. Alcohol was the closest thing she had to company. Lucky for her, she had managed to snag a few too many bottles along her journey.

The sunrise had never looked prettier. It had been a full day since the battle ended. Bethany sat on the docks, her legs dangling over the edge. She had on just a white blouse and black pants. She had taken off her boots and rolled up her pants so her toes dipped into the water. Her sleeves were rolled up unevenly. One arm was behind her, palm pressed into the dock as she leaned backwards into her arm. That sleeve was rolled up past her wrist. The other arm held her bottle of wine. That sleeve was rolled up past her elbow. Her black and red hair was pulled back just enough to keep it behind her half elven ears and out of her face. Her light blue eyes stayed fixed on the horizon. She could see the blood in the water still from where the Netherbrain fell in. She knew it was below the surface and dead, but she had been unable to look away for hours. There was a sinking feeling that maybe it would rise out of the water and all her sacrifices would have been for not.

So from the hours leading up until dawn, and until hours after dawn, Bethany Byron sat on the docks. The only thing she felt she could do was drink until she had no idea what time it was.

“My my. You have really just perfected the look of a hero, haven’t you?” A familiar voice sounded behind Bethany. It just barely snapped her out of her haze. She blinked a few times at the horizon only to realize it was well past dawn now. The noises of the city had started to hum in the background once again. The sarcasm in the tone was all too familiar. The last time she saw him was just before the battle with the Netherbrain.

Rolan.

“Can’t a hero drink to victory in peace?” Bethany replied, though her tone sounded as if she was not fully there. The amount of empty bottles next to her looked terrifying, but she was still just barely drunk. She kept her eyes on the horizon as she heard the footsteps come closer. She heard him move the empty bottles and sit down next to her. Of all the people to find her, she dreaded that it was him.

“Gale was looking for you this morning. Shadowheart too.” Rolan started, his tone oddly tentative. He was trying to start a conversation he did not feel comfortable having a conversation one of her companions should be having. He glanced at her for just a moment, just long enough to notice the way her jaw clenched at the mention of her companions. He turned his head to stare in the same direction as she was. “They looked through the taverns. They also walked through the streets for a few hours. I suppose it is a little terrifying when you decide to up and vanish.”

“I'm the hero, remember? I can handle myself.” Bethany’s voice sounded exhausted. She looked and sounded like she had not slept in days, which was probably the case. She finally tore her eyes away from the horizon as brought the bottle of wine to her lips and tilted her head back. After a few sips from the bottle, she let hand drop back into her lap. A few drops spilled onto her pants. Her eyes fluttered closed, but she kept her head tilted back.

“Without this? Or your armor?” Rolan replied. Bethany didn't have to open her eyes to see the raised eyebrow she knew he was giving her. She had intentionally left it at camp. The only response she was bothered to give him was a shrug of her shoulders. He let out a sigh and dropped her rapier in her lap. This was a weapon she held dear to her heart. She had it since the beginning of their journey. The only identifiable trait was the elven inscription along the blade. The blade was forged with silver instead of any other metal. It was expensive, but somehow near to her heart. She almost felt relieved at the silence again, but the tension between them was heavy in the air.

Either seconds or minutes passed, Bethany couldn’t tell which, before she finally opened her eyes and let her head tip to the side to look at him. He couldn't tell if her sluggish movements were from exhaustion, or the copious amount of alcohol she’s had. He was staring at the horizon she had been intently watching for hours. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, but said nothing and looked back to the horizon. Bethany let her gaze wander lazily over him. If he felt her gaze, he did not react.

“Why isn’t Gale heading back to Waterdeep?” Bethany muttered softly as if it just clicked in her that Rolan told her Gale talked to him. Her eyebrows scrunched up slightly as she tried to think about it. Coming to her senses, she slowly began to strap her rapier to her waist. Rolan turned his head just enough to meet her gaze, only to give her a shrug.

“Maybe, if you get off your ass and come with me, he will tell you.” Rolan replied as if it was that simple. They held each other’s gazes for several more moments.

“No.” Bethany tore her gaze away from him and looked back at the water. Her voice was sharp, insistent. If she left, the Netherbrain might rise from the waters once more. The sacrifices she made would have been for nothing. Lives lost for nothing. Just the thought of it had her heart pounding. Her breathing became short bursts. It was all she could think about. She heard Rolan inhale slowly, and then exhale just as slowly. She knew he was trying his patience. She could feel his gaze burning holes through her. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. This was nothing he would understand. The blood was her burden to carry alone. She was just grateful he was not one of the lives she lost.

“What in the hells will get you up then? I never thought of you as the type to wallow in self pity like this.” Rolan hissed out through his teeth. She could hear his tail aggressively thrash for a moment. Despite having nothing left in her to cease his annoyance, she didn't want him to leave. The thought of being forced to fight that… thing alone was enough to cause a shiver to run down her spine. She had to be ready when it rose again.

“I really thought you’d enjoy seeing your Hero like this more.” Bethany looked over at him again. She looked him over before putting the bottle down next to her. She put her hand on the cobblestone between them and leaned in on it. He watched her carefully, debating on his response. She held his gaze, a small smirk forming on her face.

“I have dreamed of doing many things to you, but watching you drink yourself to death was never one of them. This is rather pathetic.” Rolan replied in a blunt tone that made Bethany straighten up. That was clearly not the response she was hoping for or expecting. She had been insulted by him before, but this filled her with both anger and shock.

“Excuse me?” Bethany was unable to keep the mix of anger and shock from her voice. The look on her face was one of offense. After everything she had done for him, for the city, this response from him hurt her. There was a familiar stabbing pain in her chest. It was something she had grown accustomed to feeling long before this journey began.

“You are excused. Now if you’ll excuse me, I don't have time to sit here and watch you drink yourself to death.” Rolan said in his snarky tone. He pushed himself back to his feet and brushed himself off. The dismissal of her emotions, her worry, had her mouth agape. That feeling of hurt turned to pounding throb. A chill passed through her chest.

“Right, because when you decided to try and drink yourself to death and I had to go save you from the shadows, that was okay. But,” Bethany pushed herself to her feet as she spoke. She seemed to have stood up too quickly, because she almost tipped sideways and fell into the water. Rolan, despite being upset with her, caught her arm before she fell in. There looked to be a hint of worry in his eyes, but it quickly faded. “I get a little bit upset because I have hundreds of people that I failed, and suddenly nobody gives a shit.” She took a step forward, jabbing her finger into his chest. Her body lurched forward and she stumbled into him. His hands went to her waist to keep her steady. She couldn't make out the look on his face as he stared down at her.

“I knew that would get you up. Let’s go.” Rolan had an edge of confidence to his voice. Bethany stared at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to make of what just happened. He made an attempt to turn her around to guide her away from the dock, but she took a step backwards. His hand trailed down her arm as she pulled from his grasp.

"Let's go? No, I am not pathetic! I did everything I could!" Bethany insisted, anger flashing in her eyes. Rolan winced, realizing his word choice did not have it's intended effect.

"Everyone in this damned city knows that. You are the Hero of Baldur's Gate. Nobody wants to see you moping around the docks as if you want nothing more than to throw yourself in." Rolan replied, sounding more frustrated than he intended. Even he almost winced at his own tone.

"So what if I decide to tie some rocks to my waist and throw myself in. I saved the city. It's over." Bethany snapped back. She took a step forward once again to jab at his chest. "I did my part. After the months I spend on that journey, I can finally make the choice to do whatever the hell I want."

"And you are going to chose to kill yourself?" Rolan's tone was low, his anger overshadowing his worry until Bethany looked away. He let out a sigh, his hand going up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Being unable to respond, she just stood there, her arms dropping to her side. "So that was your plan." He said out loud, not needing a response. It was a statement, not a question.

"I don't fucking know. Regardless of what this stupid city thinks of me, I don't have all the answers. Maybe by now, I should. After all, I just saved not only Baldur's Gate, but also the world. I also killed a devil. And The Dead Three's chosen. And-" Bethany would have kept listing, but Rolan interrupted by clearing his throat. "Right. I should know what to do now, but I fucking dont. And I'm fucking scared ."

"Now we can actually get somewhere. I don't see how killing yourself was easier than that." Rolan huffed, his body subtly relaxing with relief. Bethany was quiet once again. He watched her with an indecipherable look on his face. He slowly reached his hand out and took her own. She did not fight or pull away. He tugged her closer to him, allowing her to simply lean against his chest. He wasn't sure of the words to use to help her, so he let her seek the comfort she needed. Her arms slid around his torso, pulling herself against his chest. He slowly wrapped his own arms around her to hold her close.

"I don't want anyone to have to save me." Bethany murmured into his chest. She nuzzled her face into his chest, avoiding pressing her face into the silver metal atop his shoulders. Her words made him chuckle, which in turn made her glare up at him.

"Now you know how I feel, Hero." Rolan replied, not even bothering to hide the amusement from his voice. Bethany rolled her eyes and looked away from him, though she did not pull away. She rested the side of her face against his chest, her hands gripping the back of his robes. Her face was red, every ounce of her and her pride despising looking so weak.

Bethany let her gaze strayed to the horizon once more. Fear gripped her heart as she stared at the bloodstained waters in the distance. Rolan could feel her hands grip the fabric of his robes tighter the longer she stayed quiet.

“What if it’s not dead?” Bethany whispered softly, letting Rolan coax her into leaning against him. He looked in the same direction as her. His thumb hesitantly rubbed back and forth on her back. She could almost see it. The Netherbrain rising again. The people turning into Mind Flayers once more. The screaming echoed in her mind. It made her heart race; her breathing quicken.

“It is. You did say you killed it after all, right, Hero? Well, not without my help of course.” Rolan said, which seemed to comfort her enough to pull away just enough for her to be able to walk next to him. His last comment seemed to cause a small smile to form on her face. She wrapped an arm draped across his shoulders as he led her away. He had one hand on her hip, holding her close to him, and the other holding her hand to keep her arm across his shoulders. While she was still able to walk almost just fine, she still accepted Rolan's help. She did not take her eyes off the water until it was completely out of sight. Her body seemed to relax as he led her up the hill and towards Sorcerous Sundries.

"Where would I be without you." Bethany muttered sarcastically. Once she tore her gaze from the now distant docks, she turned her head towards him. He was looking ahead, though glanced at her from the corner of his eye. He had a slight look of pride about him from her words. The further he guided her from the docks, the more sluggish her movements became. With each step she took, her body reminded of her lack of sleep.

"Dead probably. Maybe suffering in some far off corner of the world?" Rolan replied before looking down at her. He kept holding her against him as he led her away, no matter how much he had to support her weight. The rest of the walk to his tower was quiet. Whether it was due to his unempathetic response or her exhaustion was unknown to him. Bethany seemed to have the near impossible task of keeping herself awake.

When the two arrived, Rolan muttered a few words to magically unlock the front doors before pulling her inside. He only stopped to lock the door once inside again. He led her up the stairs to what she remembered as his old room. By the time the two got up the stairs, he was practically dragging her. She looked as if she was going to pass out right there. With much effort and many muttered curses, he got her into his old room and dropped her on the bed. Bethany managed to adjust herself, curling into a ball in the middle of the bed.

Rolan watched her get comfortable on his bed. He very carefully reached around her waist and removed the rapier from her. He quietly put the weapon on the chest at the foot of the bed. He then pulled the blanket up and over Bethany's body. She had passed out almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. He watched her for a long while. She looked peaceful while she slept. She didn't look ready to fight anyone for looking at her, or her friends, wrong. She did not look like 'the Hero of Baldur's Gate'. She looked like any other half elf he would find in Faerûn. His hand lingered over her shoulder as he watched her, before he lightly brushed her red and black hair from her face. He eventually left her in the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Now that she was safe, he was sure Gale would love to know she hasn't gotten herself in any real trouble. He made his way through the portal to the top of his tower where Gale was waiting. Before he said anything to Gale, he walked over to the chair of books Lorroakan had set up while he was still in charge.

Gale was going through his collection of artifacts and spell books by the time Rolan arrived. He held the small artifacts in his hands, the smile on his face indicating he approved of them. While he did not need to consume the magic from any of them, he still appreciated them and enjoyed weighing in on their power. He did not look up from his exploration of what was only just recently Rolan’s until he heard him speak.

"How in the hell did you deal with that for months ?" Rolan finally said in an exasperated tone. He ran his hands over his face, finally letting the drain from the conversation with Bethany show . He sunk down into his chair slowly.

“A lot of distractions. Bethany never had something she didn’t have to fix, until now that is. You have my gratitude for collecting her. I doubt in her state she wants to be reminded of the horrors we faced by seeing me… or anyone else for that matter. ” Gale peered at Rolan from his spot by a bookshelf. His fingers delicately traced a few of the spines. It looked like he couldn’t tell which to put more effort into looking at: books or artifacts.

“Distractions? Are you telling me I have to find something for her to do... just for her to not actively seek her own demise?” Rolan sounded somehow more frustrated than he was at the docks. Babysitting the Hero if Baldur’s Gate was not on his to do list, nor did he want it to be. His frustration was only met by Gale's chuckle. “And… you'd be surprised. The first thing she did ask about was you and Shadowheart.”

“While the sentiment is appreciated, it is unneeded. If she willingly decides to let you take care of her, you best be up to the task. She is quite the stubborn creature, is she not?” There was a caring sort of amusement to Gale’s tone. The months of traveling with Bethany had given him more insight on her than the others. She chased feigned passion in the same way as Astarion, and she even participated in it with him. While she had a difficult time understanding it, she was more than happy to explore the Weave with Gale. She never once judged Shadowheart for her choice in deities, though he knew she did not approve. She repeatedly trained with Laezel for fear her abilities in combat would not be up to the task. Though, the most intriguing way she passed her time was through her conversations with Wyll. She seemed to have a great deal to talk about with him, especially in regards to the higher society in Baldur's Gate.

“Ah yes, and I am the one ‘blessed’ with the role of caretaker then?” Rolan responded, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. While he cared for Bethany, he never signed up for babysitting her. He had Lia and Cal and they were enough of a handful as it was.

“Trust me, I know how much of a hassle she can be. Think of it as.. She doesn't feel the need to ‘mother hen’ you if you will. Now, you did not hear this from me, but I might have a faint idea on a… mission for her if you will. It could potentially distract her from the past few months.” Gale mused aloud, an idea forming in his head as he spoke.

It was lucky for both of them that a certain someone noticed her, even when she thought nobody was looking.

#BG3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 tav #BG3 Rolan #bg3 oc #bg3 gale #Dont put gale and Rolan on babysitting duty ever again #nobody can tell me they know how to be a therapist #rolan x oc #rolan x tav #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate oc

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pyromaniacblujay · 14 days

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#the binding of isaac #survivor bethany #survivor judas #survivor keeper #my drawings #tboi survivor fathoms au

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joonlic1ous · 10 months

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Some more summer related stuff except now It's the Tboiverse

( @pyromaniacblujay )

Esau and Keeper bonus below 😳

Sorry guys I'm mentally ill (Keeper and Beth on the right belong to Jay ofc)

#tboi #tboi au #tboi bethany #tboi keeper #tboi esau #tboi survivor au #sacrament of parting #the binding of isaac #tboi fanart #art #tboi headcanons #my art #my illustrations #tboi au crossover #sop x survivor au

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fenrisdefender · 9 days

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my HC for how Malcolm dies is completely different than the canon story we get. my HC is below, if you're curious to read it.

First of all, I never liked that Leandra's death was a random serial killer who had nothing to do with the rest of the story. Instead, my HC has an ongoing connection to the blood cult of Corypheus, which we know would have been in pursuit of Malcolm himself, as well as his offspring, for their blood.

When Marian Hawke was a child, she was as rambunctious as ever and even then too much for Leandra to handle alone. For income though, Malcolm traveled around South Ferelden as a healer, and was sometimes away for periods of time. Leandra herself was an herbalist and potions maker and Malcolm also sold her concoctions.

(That is how the two of them met and fell in love in my HC: Leandra was learning her craft - much to the chagrin of her parents, but she wanted something of a skill that went beyond boring nobility - and subsequently was paired up to work with Malcolm. And so it goes, they fell in love.)

So, it follows that when they arrive in Ferelden with nothing but what is on their backs (and in Leandra's belly), they choose to put their skills to use. In my HC, South Ferelden is more tolerant of an apostate if they provide community and services, since the Chantry seems to neglect the people there. They protect the Hawkes in exchange for healing and medicines that Malcolm and Leandra provide.

But as Malcolm travels around the countryside a couple of times a year, Leandra finds that Marian is too restless and rebellious to watch after while attending to the twins. As a result, Malcolm offers to bring Marian along with him to the other cities, towns, and villages across South Ferelden while teaching her about magic and the world.

While traveling, they end up trapped in Gwaren in a terrible snowstorm. It keeps them sheltered in the city for a time where Marian meets a curious older man who eventually reveals himself to be a mage. During the month or so they are snowed in in Gwaren, Marian Hawke becomes friends with this man - a fellow apostate such as herself.

His name is Quentin, and he seems kind to her.

Now, with a name like that I'm sure you can imagine that he is not, in fact, truly kind.

Hawke is subsequently kidnapped by Quentin, who has a faction of mages (including his wife) obsessed with a mysterious figure communicating to them from beyond the Veil. The voice told them to find the blood of a "Hawke." Figuring a child is easier to kidnap than a fully grown adult, they took Marian.

Malcolm, as any father would do, desperately searches to find Marian, of which he is eventually successful. However, in the process of trying to save his daughter from a cult of blood mages, he dies tragically. In his last moments he says goodbye to his eldest daughter, and tells her to run as fast as she can to safety.

Hawke, being a grieving child and bearing the immense burden of survivor's guilt, convinces herself that she cannot face her mother and siblings. She believes her father's death is her fault and runs away in the opposite direction from Lothering - back to Gwaren.

At this point, she is under the impression that the blood mages all died. Quentin, of course, survived and later turns up in Kirkwall for his revenge and rematch with a fully grown Marian. And so, that is the motivation behind Quentin's kidnapping and murder of Leandra. This all also ties nicely into the DLC Legacy plot.

Hawke stays a runaway on the streets of Gwaren for nearly three years, adopted by a mercenary group that teaches her what she knows later in Kirkwall (because it wouldn't come out of nowhere, would it?). When she finally goes home to Lothering, her family - Leandra, Bethany, and Carver - all think Hawke has been dead the whole time.

In my HC, the bitterness and resentment Leandra and Carver carry toward Hawke comes largely from her running away and "abandoning" her family after the death of Malcolm.

And thus starts the story of my version of Marian Hawke!

Hope you enjoyed my version of the story (is enjoyed the right word in a story of tragedy?).

#marian hawke #dragon age #dragon age 2 #dragon age hawke #hawke dragon age #headcanon

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 1 year

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Low-key obsessed with the literal kill counter Du’Met keeps in the lobby of his murder castle

Like when the gang first arrive, the number is at 178.

Then sometime after we see Morello and Bethany running onto the ferry to get away, we get the option to look at it properly and the number has gone up to 180. We know from the “bad” ending if Mark agrees to help Du’Met that he leaves two survivors - a “ferryman” and then another person from their group who they care about and is used as leverage to make them go through with it. So in Morello’s case, it’s obviously his daughter. We also know from that bad ending that Du’Met lets the two survivors go to the ferry and start to leave only to pull them back in and snipe them. And we know they were killed anyway because their bodies can be found near the very end of the game.

Obviously, between Jamie seeing Morello and Bethany leaving and then this counter going up, Du’Met sniped Morello/Bethany.

Also, in the meat freezer area, you can find a dead body hanging up there with the label “176. Natalie Morello”; Natalie is Morello’s other daughter.

The fact that the Morellos were the most recent party to check in, right before the Lonnit crew, Natalie being “176” and the counter going up after Joseph and Bethany “leave”… Du’Met literally keeps his kill counter in plain sight, that fucker is proud of it.

#small details make me happy idk #granthem du'met #the devil in me #the dark pictures anthology: the devil in me #the dark pictures anthology

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luciddreamslikeelectricity · 9 months

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What are some good older iron man comics. I would love to read them. I am not too fond of heavy abuse depictions so I prefer the lighter stuff. I read the civil war comics but I didn’t like it so much. As for Maria, I read few comics with her and she was a good mother to Tony. I wish we see more of her. Maybe after the I AM IRONMAN, other writers start to include her.

I didn't like Civil War (the main event) either. I thought the tie-ins and Iron Man's solo series are fairer to the character, but it was a terrible event for him overall.

Iron Man reading list:

⎊ Tales of Suspense (1959) #39 - Iron Man's origin story

You can read tales of suspense #40 - #99 if you can tolerate the sexism, racism etc. of that era. This series is the one that introduced Pepper Potts and Happy Hogan, and they're honestly a lot of fun sometimes, despite not always having the best quality of writing.

⎊ Iron Man vol 1:

This volume has 324 issues and it can get intimidating (I avoided reading it for years) so I'll try to list the best runs.

Gerry Conway (35–43, 91–97) He has a great voice for Tony and I love the characterization.

Bill Mantlo (78, 86–87, 95–115, Annual #4) - this is a very good run - a must read, in my opinion, and extremely underrated. Issue #78 tells us the story of why Tony stopped making weapons. Mantlo put in a lot of work to humanize Tony & his relationship with Whitney Frost (Madame Masque) is amazing.

David Michelinie (116–157) - he introduced Rhodey (issue #144 tells us the story of how he met Tony) and a bunch of great characters like Bethany Cabe, Mrs. Arbogast and Justin Hammer. He also established Tony's alcoholism in Demon in a Bottle and made him travel to the past & the future with Doctor Doom (#150 and #250). His run also has some light-hearted moments and you can start with this one - a lot of people do.

Dennis O'Neil (160–208) - he explored Tony's alcoholism in much more detail than Michelinie and his run gets very heavy at times (especially issue #182) (tw for suicidal ideation, depression and alcoholism) but Tony's recovery is depicted very well, too, and his portrayal of Tony, even at his worst, is very empathetic and respectful. Also, Rhodey becomes Iron Man in this run and O'Neil characterizes him very well. This is a very important Iron Man run.

David Michelinie (again) (215–250) - If you liked his writing, you can check this run out as well. It contains the Armor Wars storyline, which is a very important arc that contributed to Tony's character a lot (It's also the first time he clashed with Steve Rogers over differing ideals).

Len Kaminski (278–318) - This is the run in which Rhodey became War Machine (he even got a solo series by the same writer, which is very good). This is also the run which established Tony as a (verbal and emotional) childhood abuse survivor and the issues that depict it are issues #285 - #288 (Tony relives his childhood memories, which include memories of his father's abuse and I'm not sure how heavy it can be classified as, but it can be triggering to some people, certainly) and #313 (This one is more disturbing as it features Tony telling the story of how Howard made him drink alcohol as a very young child at an AA meeting - it's also immensely satisfying and it's a great issue, overall).

⎊ Tony is a major part of Avengers vol 1 and West Coast Avengers (1985) as well.

⎊ Marvel Graphic Novel - Emperor Doom

⎊ Marvel Super-Heroes (1990) - issues 2, 8 (Squirrel Girl's first appearance!), 9, 12-15 (issue #13 is especially good)

⎊ Marvel Fanfare #4

⎊ Iron Man vol 3 (1998)

Kurt Busiek (1-25, Annual 1999) - This is one of the best Iron Man runs ever. You could totally start with this one if you want to- Tony's characterization is amazing in this run, Happy and Pepper are part of the main cast again and they got some great development in it, Carol Danvers is featured heavily in it and this run has some of the best writing she's got and this run has some very good Black Widow moments as well. If you've heard of Rumiko Fujikawa, this is the run that introduced her.

Frank Tieri (31–35, 37–49, Annual 2001) - Tiberius Stone is a very fun character and this is the run in which he was introduced. It's very good.

Mike Grell (50-66) - This run shows us more of Tony's philanthropist side and I think it's essential reading for Iron Man fans. This is also the run in which he reveals his secret identity in order to save a dog.

⎊ Iron Man: Bad Blood is a great mini-series by David Michelinie that also features Rhodey (he isn't a huge part of Iron Man vol 3, unfortunately) and Justin Hammer.

⎊ Iron Man: Legacy of Doom is another great mini-series by David Michelinie and is the final story in the Camelot trilogy (featuring Doctor Doom).

⎊ Avengers vol 3, Avengers/Squadron Supreme '98 and Avengers/Thunderbolts #1–6 (2004)

⎊ Iron Man/Captain America (1998 Annual)

#feel free to ask me for modern im comic recs as well! they're not all bad #hope you like these- happy reading!#anonymous #iron man reading list #reading guide

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