#stop why are they so adorable :’(

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt in Memes 5

Once more, have a prompt entirely in memes because I'm too lazy to properly write one right now lol.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #De aged dan #de aged ellie #dad danny #mom danny #Fuck it make this a Hazmat Au too with a hint of eldritch Phantom form #Hence why no one realizes Danny Fenton & Phantom Dark are different people #No Danny is not ghost king he's just a little shit #Jazz is in Metropolis & Danny is around depending on where the “field trips” are #Sometimes he's in Gotham because Scarecrow or Ivy offers a lecture #Most of the time they're in Central though because it's safest for the baby villains in the making lol #Danny is taking classes for both medical stuff (thx Frostbite) and engineering #A couple of time travelling villains ADORE him and his kids lol #“So u a monsterfucker?” “What” “I mean I saw that ghost hero & I'm just sayin that's not human y'know-” #Tucker stop laughing at him #Tucker and Sam and Val are also in the same villain school but taking different classes #Save for Tucker also being in an engineering class #Sam is fighting for that Ivy internship #Val is in the specialized Anti-Hero course that focuses on teen heroes who are done with that bs #She got in by telling them (not lying) that she's going to take down a branch of government even if she has to blow the whole thing up #Evil College Au #Danny made a mistake & now everyone thinks that he Val Sam AND Tuck were in a relationship with Phantom at some point #Eveery other student now refers to them as the Petty Exes #memes #meme

[steampunkedemon]

idk but saying tyler being a manipulative serial killer means he can’t be with wednesday is genuinely so funny to me like baby this is the addams family we’re talking about. being a manipulative serial killer should put him at the top of the viable choices for wednesday list.

#she literally calls him her type so idk where y’all are getting the whole ‘she never liked him’ thing from 💀 #‘he’s too toxic for her’ she once said having attempted murder on her record would be terrible bc everyone would know she failed to get the #job done. like what do you MEAN. toxicity is like the one thing her family adores #you don’t have to ship them all i’m saying is ‘he’s toxic :(‘ is a terrible reason when we’re talking abt fuckin wednesday addams #babygirl has done terrible things like. this is the one family that values toxic serial killing people wym 😭 #if you’re looking for happy fluffy healthy pure relationships this is not the family for you #not looking to argue so if u do i’m just gonna ignore it #wednesday addams #tyler galpin #wednesday x tyler #weyler #wednesday #wednesday tag #guys please stop replying or rb with different reasons why they can’t date we’re not talking abt them

[fizzie-frog]

I love the lil feetsies kicks he does, and especially the little kick up in the air with one foot when snuggling with Ozzie, it's so cute omg.

Bonus:

No feetsies, but just him being ridiculously adorable.

#[slamming desk] [sobbing] WHY IS HE SO CUTE!!!!!! #Fizz #Fizzarolli #Ozzie #Asmodeus #Fizzmodeus #Ozzarolli #Fizzarozzie #Helluva Boss #he is a full grown adult demon he has no right to be this friggin adorable #stOp

[oh-warizoro]

Perfect take on Zoro. Perfectly executed by Mackenyu.

The way EVERYONE is trying to have him work for them. Mr 7, I'm here with an invitation. Captain Morgan, Join the marines or you'll die tied to a cross.

Luffy, sets him free, doesn't force him to join, let's him go, let's Zoro decide where he wants to be;

And Zoro finds out that place is by Luffy's side. Ain't that beautiful?

#I shall pay extra attention to see the exact moment Luffy wins him over #This is adorable #I think Zoro went through a lot by himself #He became a pirate hunter out of necessity #I'm sure he had pirate and non pirates trying to recruit him. To have him in their debt. #But Zoro won't follow someone that will take away his freedom and stand in the way of his dream. #God. I love this so. Much. #Thinking about that scene where Luffy just breaking down over Zoro's almost dying state and Nami's losing it bc Luffy could've done smth to #stop it #And Luffy's just like 'I couldn't stand between him and his dream' #And yes!!! That's it!! That's what this always was for both of them #That's the reason why the Pirate hunter the demon the beast the Roronoa Zoro follows Luffy and stays by his side #Fuck me side ways opla thank you you did not fail me on Zoro take #zoro #mackenyu #zolu #ish #§mine #one piece live action #opla s1 #text #opla

[13ag21k]

Arthur *is giving an emotional and important speech*

Merlin & Lancelot *since everyone is distracted let's make heart eyes at each other*

#i love them your honor #merlin was probably just excited that Lance was back #they did not have enough time to chat and catch up #but GOD DAMN IT #why is it that they have so much chemistry? #and the fact that Lancelot catches him both times and returns a happy and sweet smile had me melting onto the floor #they are stealing glances at each other like some lovesick couple trying to be subtle but fail because they can't stop smiling #so fucking adorable #mercelot #merlin emrys #lancelot du lac #lancelot #bbc merlin #sir lancelot #merlin x lancelot #mercelotedit #merlinedit #merlingifs #lancelotgifs #sorry for the quality <3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He's the biggest kid here. Large and In Charge.

[First] Prev <--> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #su she #lan jingyi #lan sizhui #jing ling #Who are the other juniors? Who ever you'd like them to be. I will probably have to retroactively tag them #(Hello! It's Fer from the Future. Here to retroactively add character tags!) #ouyang zizhen #nameless red disciple #The camp councilor energy continues! WWX's secret power/talent isn't demonic cultivation #its herding teenagers. One of the hardest entities to rally #I adore the uncle energy he has with Jin ling here. Oh you're gonna start banging at doors? No no don't stop #you're sooooo good at it why don't you keep going? Yell some more. Use your talents #If he keeps yelling he *might* summon the purple uncle so its a fine line to walk #The goal with jin ling in that last panel was the same energy as when you catch your dog eating something they shouldn't #and instead of running you enter a staring contest. Does this make any sense. #EDIT: I went to check my notes for this post last night and went “oh geez y'all hated this one huh” only to realize that I uh #saved it as a draft and didn't actually put it into the queue. MASSIVE head empty moment. #So sorry for ppl who got worried or were looking forwards to the comic update. I wish this one was funnier to make up for it.

[anna-scribbles]

regained my 12 year old swag(read an entire new percy jackson book in one sitting)

#CHALICE OF THE GODS WAS SO GOOD #AUAUUGHHHUHGHHHGHHHSH #i was laughing out loud every few minutes for like 5 hours straight #this was a book of BITS #(spoilers in tags from here on out) #i keep thinking abt percy’s river rage tantrum and how he came out of it to annabeth saying ‘yeah he’s scary sometimes when he gets worked #up. do you want more tea?’ #COMEDY #the entire bit with him hiding under the pastry cart. the thing about annabeth having a secret fanclub and percy’s not even phased. #THE HIMBO JUICE THING. RICK RIORDAN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THERES A HOOTERS BUT FOR MEN AND SMOOTHIES #annabeth apparently specifically won’t bake clue cupcakes. and this is happening less than 2 years after the famous sixteenth birthday blue #cupcake that she and tyson made for him. the one that looked like a blue brick that they are with their hands. #<— not inconsistency. comedy. #percy’s whole thing with playing with the snakes with the rainbow as he’s fully prepared to be eaten😭😭😭😭😭he is SO unserious #the entire mt olympus scene where he keeps getting distracted from what he’s doing bc he can’t stop roasting zues in his head???? #PERCY I LOVE YOU #ugh i forgot how much i adore percy pov. #pov of not knowing what’s going on ever. pov of being distracted every 10 seconds. he’s literally so real #i thought eudora was hilarious #the whole concept that percy has to do this at all. i think it’s so funny #ppl who are mad that the premise of the quests is stupid. like yeah. percy jackson has a stupid life. #when annabeth broke through his window at 4am to sit on his bed and talk about rocks and trees. everything #percy not knowing the names of anyone at his school or on his swim team #when the god showed up at his cafeteria and percy just ate his lasagna sandwich before talking to him😭😭😭😭that child is TIRED #i loved the light graffiti in the tunnel. when percy wrote their initials i SCREAMED #WHEN. WHEN HE ASCENDED AND TURNED INTO RAINBOW LIGHT WITH THE POWER OF WANTING TO TELL ANNABETH HE LOVED HER. #I DIED. #THE POWER OF LOVE ALWAYS SO STRONG‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #AUGH i am weak #pjo

[aquanutart]

I enjoyed watching a cetitan chase arven in paldean winds. I thought "wow they are Fast"

#pokemon #pokemon sv #paldean winds #arven #cetitan #fuecoco #aquanutart #fuecoco is thinking 'i helped!!!' #yes you did!!!! #cetitan is one of my favorite new pokemon designs they are adorable.... snow whale #FAST snow whale!!! #whenever i see beautiful pokemon animation i cry from seeing the world come to life and feeling the power of pokemon ... #(spoilers) #>>>>>>>>>> #i did want to know WHY she stopped the flute #i imagined that her father put pressure on her to perform so she stopped because it wasn't bringing her any joy #but when she realized she could actually make a difference to another creature with it she regained her love for it

[imthursdaysyme]

stali getting ready for a night out

#stranger things #drawing #art #steve harrington #kali prasad #digital art #steve harrington fanart #kali prasad fanart #stali #stali fanart #i adore them ok #i love to think that kali also views robin as The Authority #that woman listens to no one and yet if steve so much as utters a robin said- that woman is doing it instantly #steve: rob said we need to stop smoking with breakfast #kali-throwing her cigarette to the ground grumbling: god fucking damnit why can’t i live my life in goddamn peace #and one day one of kalis friends is like uh why the fuck don’t you just say no to rob??? #and kali stares at them like they just decapitated themselves with a spoon #she’s like uh that woman girl boy thing is The Authority what are you talking about #and they’re like she is literally a skinny little thing what are you talking about #and kali is like you don’t know her like i do #and also i married steve so she’s my best friend in law i have to listen to her #and everyone is like what the actual fuck y’all are the scariest couple in fucking chicago and kali shakes her head and is like #everybody has a boss #and they’re like no the boss doesn’t have a boss you Are the top we don’t understand #and kalis like them you’ve never met her she’s stubborn as fuck once i didn’t put a cigarette out when she said and somehow 2hrs later #i was reciting an entire play with her and she yelled and made us redo if i didn’t give enough passion #i am NOT doing that shit again #and everyone’s like jfc ok fair enough

[the-2d-man-dump]

MR GRIM REAPER HAVE YOU HEARD YOU ARE ILLEGAL-

#a date with death #grim reaper #two and a half studios #why are you so adorable pls stop mr grim reaper you are killing me #he fucking calls you sunshine pls help #i cant #my heart

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

it does something incomprehensible to my little writer’s soul whenever alex articulates a phenomenon of the writing process i’ve always picked up on and then goes on to describe it in exactly the same way

#when i first heard him say this when i was watching the interview i legit had to pause the video for a moment #because it was like he’d actually taken my words straight out of my mouth #literally for years i’ve been fascinated by the little timeless pocket between dusk and dawn where there’s so much freedom #to explore creativity uninhibited and unobserved and without fear of consequence #the way it allows you to create things almost as if they don’t really exist #or like the rest of the world doesn’t #and the magic of that freedom #like if you create things on the cusp of dreams it’s almost as if they don’t count #they’re liberated from any usual self doubt or self criticism that invades the imaginative space during the daylight #why am i making myself sound like a creative vampire 😭 #i’m going to stop rambling in the tags now sorry #i fear absolutely none of this makes sense #kudos to anyone who’s read the whole way through this #the gist of what i’m trying to say is that it’s such a special feeling when someone whose writing you adore and connect to so much #puts into words elements of the process that have always resonated with you #and this is just one example too #right i’m going to stop rambling now #but one last thing before i go #on a more superficial note: can we appreciate how softly spoken and soft fluffy haired he is here?? 🥺 #alex turner #humbug era #arctic monkeys #alex vid #lulu posts

[enha-stars]

okay this has nothing to do with enha (i should shut up) but i have to tell SOMEONE. basically, this guy, a friend of a friend, has been hanging out with my friend group a lot more. he’s cool and funny and okay looking ig (lie) except, one of my friends is interested in him but he is not interested in her. as in, he makes it pretty obvious. he avoids being alone w her (by inviting others) and he often dodges questions about relationships. however…. today… after my midterm, we were all in the library and my friend asked him if he wanted to go with her to get food, and he respectfully declined. but then, after a bit, when i got up to get food, he offered to come with me. i’m not reading too much into it but my other friends have claimed that he’s more inclined towards me than my friend because he’s always the first to invite me and he genuinely has conversations with me. the issue is that this friend is very insecure when it comes to men and IF anything between me and this guy happens, she’s going to end my life probably

#so do i die or do i die #I DIDNT NOTICE #i don’t notice these things #u have to slap my face and yell at me for me to believe that u like me #okay so he talks to me… yay? #he’s a man (a pretty man but a man) idc what he’s talking about #like yes he’s cute and it’s very adorable that he has such a strong passion for economics but like #see #it’s like when u don’t like someone but then ur friends bring it up and then u can’t stop thinking about it #i’m actually concerned for my life though #if my friend even believes that he could like me #i’d have to kms #no joke #this has happened ONCE before and we had this huge falling out but i literally told her to stop being an idiot #because why would a man come between us #however ☝🏽 #after further thought #he does pay more attention to me i think #BUT IN A FRIEND WAY #maybe he’s compensating for paying less attention to my friend #i wish she would get the hint #ok don’t mind me this is me being crazy and batshit #enha!me #end me now ig

[nkogneatho]

Reminder that baby rin is just a circle with hair

#BUT HE'S A CUTE CIRCLE SJHSSJAJ #STOP WHY IS HE SO ADORABLE I WANNA SQUEEZE HIS CHEEKS #pasi.txt #itoshi rin #blue lock spoilers

[puppetmaster13u]

Meat Marionette #10?????

I am wheezing over the thought of the kids throwing out right fits whenever they get gunk in their feathers and refusing to take baths. And then throwing fits when Bruce starts to groom their feathers and fur.

Also just pondering about the league trying to do a meeting after a mission and just hearing unholy shrieking in the next room over the moment the door to the hall opens.

Au is a combo of my cryptid batfam & @phoenixcatch7 's Possessed Doll Au, check them out <3

#meat marionette au #batman au #cryptid batman #cryptid batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #robin #Dick: I AM CLEAN ENOUGH #Bruce: Stop squirming and you *will be* #The league: *rising concern over the distressed noises down the hall* #Dick is so annoyed and puffy after getting a bath #But at least it's not water #then he'd be very fluffy and then where would his intimidation points go?! #He does not realize he's not scary to the league because they deal with his dad #Also they've never seen him going hunting in Gotham so he looks like a fluffy adorably bby to them #Dick: Why can't I kill Zucco >:/ #Bruce: More than half of a human's entire body's worth of bones are in their hands #Dick: oh? #Dick: OH! #Dick: >:) #batdad #Look Bruce canonically went to medical school he probably has randoms bits of knowledge on how to hurt someone while keeping them alive lol

[ferretwhomst]

HE'S FUCKING HAPPYYYYYY oh my goddd...

#i adore him to BITS!!! BITS I TELLYOU #also god i haven't used this brush in awhile #it's literally. one of my favorite brushes. why did i stop #(probably bc it makes my wrist hurt to use for too long LOL) #STILL IT'S SO NICE #gravity falls #gf #gravity falls au #blood brothers au #stanford pines #ford pines #parallel ford #ferret's art