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#still not completely satisfied there
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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bramblesnbones · 1 year
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finally posting these after what feels like forever
featuring my attempts at figuring out how I wanna draw them, and a few redraws of some older pieces that never got posted (+a new cover image for my playlist)
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dovalore · 2 months
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since i already drew little ghost a while back but no other characters from hk as little guys you can use as signature/blog/page decoration, i made 3 others and a new ghost as well
bonus under cut
wadiance!
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sleepynegress · 10 months
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Everything about this... I scream.
I think this is the first Indigenous vampire I've ever seen?!
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They made Olrox Indigenous and he's voiced by Zahn McClarnon, whom I adore:
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Elizabeth Bathory (voice by Franka Potente) is a vampire up in this bitch?! (but of course) The animation is top-tier... giving me all drama and delicious beautiful violence I need... And baby, Annette is voiced by Thuso Mbedu?! I am. shaking. NETFLIX PAY YOUR ANIMATORS, WRITERS, AND VOICE ACTORS!!!
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rollingdownthathill · 2 years
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Do you ever talk about yourself detective?
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juniemunie · 4 months
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If the game keeps calling us Angel why not go with it ya know
Gaster is the devil for uhh obvious reasons (looks at his association of 666 and darkness, his faustian deal with Spamton etc etc)
Here comes sansnomaly
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uniworu · 6 months
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klapollo cats now featuring trucy and kristoph
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sunnyaliceart · 5 months
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Good Omens fanart from 2019 that I never posted here. Still can't believe it's a real show. Season 3, please heal me!
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astaerion · 1 year
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@pscentral event 15: favorite ships » han solo & leia organa
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lyramundana · 11 months
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I BASICALLY LOVE MINSUNG X F!READER CAN YOU SAY YOUR HEADCANONS ABOUT IT? I'm so sub for them I swear the god
I can feel your enthusiasm through the comment and I totally relate to it, I'm really a sub for these greek gods too!!
Now I have various headcanons with my oc, Vivi or Violeta, but since you mentioned fem!reader, I'll go with that.
POLY MINSUNG X FEM! READER HEADCANONS
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-They're both switches, but Minho tends to take the lead and leans towards dominance more. However, Jisung can be pretty intense too and they can have this battle of pride where they try to manhandle the other into submission. It's fucking hot when it happens because you can't tell which of them is doming here.
-Since Jisung is the younger in the relationship (for a while), he's usually the one being take care of and he LOVES it. Minho, on the other hand, enjoys pampering his jagiya and protect him. The roles outside the bedroom remain the same usually. Minho is the caretaker, with ocasional soft moments when he needs pampering too, and Jisung the babyboy that needs constant affection.
-When you come into their lives, their routine crashes and their entire world perception is turned upside down.
-You meet Jisung first, both of you becoming friends quickly, and you kinda befriend Minho too by association. At first you two only hang out when Jisung is involved and aren't really close, but as time passes and he sees how comfortable his boyfriend is with you, he starts to warm up to you. In return, you see how happy he makes Jisung and the great partner he is, so she start to apreciate him more.
-What started as a friendship with Jisung and a mutual respect with Minho becomes a besties trio. You're younger than them, so they try to look after you out of instinct, but since you're not korean you don't really see the point of this idea of treating people differently by their age.
-More often than not you have arguments because you feel they see you like a kid sometimes and you remind them that you're a fully independent human and you don't need to be treated like a damsel in distress. Jisung is a lot more open minded about it and understands your point of view, but Minho is more conservative and stubborn, so you two argue the most. As your bond progresses, you learnt to let them take care of you sometimes and be vulnerable with them, while they accept to treat you like an equal instead of a "dongsaeng".
-Following this, there are times you decide to take care of them instead and babying them in return, partially for teasing but also because you like it. They're so cute and soft and fluffy when you're alone, you just want to squeeze them in your arms. You reprimand them like they're your children when they do something that bothers you, you bring them clothes and make-up, you fix their hair and clothes when they look messy, you call them stuff like "good boys" "my babies", "my darlings" (the last one is always in a playful tone).
-The position of dominant one in the relationship it's yours now because Minho has found out he loves to be babied and spoiled too, so when you're around he lets you on charge often. In private, they just want to snuggle with you and have you massage their scalps, call them sweet names and cover them in love. Jisung lets out hums of contentment and Minho straight up purrs, curling into a ball against you. At first he fights is off because it hurts his pride as man and the oldest, but it feels way too good.
-Suddenly they bring you to their dates. You become a part of every activity they usually engage in together. You feel weird at first thinking you're intruding in couple activities, but they reassure you constantly that they enjoy your company.
-They're obsessed with hearing you speak in your native language. Even if they don't understand anything, the way your voice shifts and how beautiful you sound makes their brain go brrrr. If used right, you can use this to lull them to sleep.
-From outside, it looks like the typical girl with her gay besties (and you think that's the reality), but some of their acts feel more than platonic. Regardless, you embrace this image and proudly refer to them in the same way, not noticing the uncomfortable frown on their faces.
-They're the type to treat you like their partner before you guys establish it, just to mark territory for other people (and because they really want to live that fantasy). You may not be theirs fully, but they'll be damned if they let someone else get you. They don't get it at first, they fool themselves into thinking they're just being good friends that care for you too much.
-In my au where Minho experiences a bi awakening because of fem!reader or my oc Violeta/Vivi, this is all more intense and chaotic. They have a lot of trouble dealing with it because they don't know what this means for their relationship and, considering the culture they've been raised, the idea of polyamory doesn't instantly pop in their heads. They're confused and scared, because they feel they're emotionally cheating on the other and also ruining their friendship with you. This leads to several misunderstandings because they can't cope healthily, but they still insist on having you close.
-However, once they come to terms with their feelings for you and embrace, they go from shy, awkward boys to possessive, almost toxic men. They were already clingy before, not wanting you to leave them for anything or anyone, but now they don't even hide it. They're determined to have you, to show you belong with them, and can't stand seeing you with other people.
-It starts slow, you can't even notice. They're more physically affectionate, one of them or both is always touching you in some way when you're out, they refer themselves "jokingly" as your boyfriends and that's why you don't need to go on dates with someone else.
-Then it grows. Their hands now drift from their usual places at your shoulders and back to your waist. Their clinginess worsens. They make you sleep with them in the same bed, shower together like "besties" do, dressing you up because "they love seeing you in new clothes", etc. You force yourself to not think much of it because you see how perfect they are for each other and there's just no way they can feel something more for you..right?
-They're frustrated by how blind you are to their advances, but at the same time, they use it to their advantage to get away with it. The only reason you let them go this far is because you're convinced they can't like you that way and you bet they'll take it as an advantage. As long as you think it's all *overly friendly besties", you won't push them away.
-Deep down, you know something is off here but you can't help but enjoy their little acts. You're used to repressing your forbidden feelings for them to not ruin things, but when they treat you like this, you just let yourself get caught in the moment and pretend you're actually dating them.
-It all breaks down by a jealousy fit from them. The mere thought of losing you to another, for you to love someone else and let them touch you drives them mad, so they make a statement.
-By statement means they lock you in their room and spend hours teaching you not to stray away from your partners. By the end of it, your sweating, clothes tore open and there's not a single trace of skin they haven't marked. Bites, hickeys, bruises. They just let out all their anger and frustration on you.
-The aftercare and morning after is immaculate tho. They feel a bit guilty for how rough they were and make sure to treat you like a princess.
NSFW part ahead, beware❗
-They may be switches but with you, oh boy, you don't have any power in it.
-You have a safeword established and they will stop immediately if you don't want it anymore, but that's it. They have full control over you and your body.
-They worship your whole being, but they have their favourite spots. For Minho is your ass, neck and boobs. For Jisung is your hips, boobs and thighs. They have small competitions to see who leaves the most marks or whose mark are bigger. Your body ends up covered in splashes of red, purple and yellowish.
-They only times they let you be on top is to ride one of them when the other is behind you. They still control your moves and you're basically a doll for them to move around.
-Literally. While you guys are fucking, you're treated like a toy by them, a pair of wet, tight holes for them to fill and play with until they get tired of it (they never but you guys needs to rest from time to time).
-Minho is a sucker from going at you from behind while Jisung is underneath you, both thrusting into you from their positions while you're trapped between them, just taking whatever they give you. Their hands are never too long in one place, constantly roaming all over your skin to feel you up. When he's about to cum, Minho grabs into your boobs and hides his face on your neck, getting drunk on your scent, while Jisung hugs your hips and hides his face in your cleavage, licking the traces of swear that run down of it. They love cumming on their preferred spots to see their essence covering your skin, but if you're on birth control, the only way they're cumming is inside you.
-When they heard the concept of "double penetration", they knew they needed to try it, so they spent HOURS prepping you until they knew you could fit them both there. It was the first time the three of you orgasmed at the same time. The pleasure of feeling your walls closing them in and their dicks rubbing against each other with each movement was mind-blowing. It's a bit painful, so you guys only do it on special occasions.
-If they're still idols in this, you bet they have brought you backstage to fuck you in the the private rooms assigned for the group. Dressing rooms? Bathroom? The music station?? Done, done and done. You're their reward for a good performance or a stress reliever of the're not satisfied with the result.
-Mandatories quickies before stage. They say it's their "lucky charm" (which is a lie because there's usually another quicky after stage).
-The couches from the practice room? Jisung's studio? Yes and yes.
-You visited them once during practise to be a good girlfriend and bring them snacks during their break, and they thanked you by fucking you in front of the mirrors and fogging them. It was a sight to see.
-Another recurrent one is going to Jisung's studio and riding him in his seat or give him a blowjob while he works.
-Cockwarming it's not a kink, it's a necessity.
-And it's never just one of them, oh no. You have to keep both of them warm. Let it be each one in a hole or having both in your cunt. It's not always sexual, they're just pussydrunk and can't go a day without playing with it.
-When they feel in a rather possessive mode, they mark you and then you guys go out and you're forbidden from trying to hide it. They make you wear skirts that barely conceal the hickeys on your inner thighs, tops that don't reach your neck, leaving those purple bruises exposed. They get off from people watching them and realising you're taken.
-Outside the bedroom it might seem that you're in charge, since they behave like total babies with you and have to look after them. But if people look closely, they can see Jisung's firm hand on your waist, never letting you go. Or Minho occasionally brushing his hand on the expanse of your neck with a concentrated look in his eyes. They'll notice how you're never by yourself and one of them is always touching you somehow, keeping you glued to their side.
-In short, having Minsung as lovers would be a wild ride, full of passion and intensity. It's not a kid's game, since they're complicated people in their own right and you're still figuring out where this would lead, but one thing is clear.
-They're never letting you go.
If you want something specific or want me to change something, please let me know! I'd love to see more opinions.
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guildling · 8 months
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i appreciate him very much
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justarandomart · 1 year
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Watching and Dreaming
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uncanny-tranny · 4 months
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There's something so insane to me about being able to create and recreate vintage or even ancient music, clothes, fabrics, building architecture, anything, really.
I watched this video about a lady who knit a WWII-era vest, and it was really unique, because the cable work would eat up yarn, when there were shortages of fibers. This pattern would have likely been used by people to send overseas to soldiers, and now it's being created in a time where this war has been over for generations. What were the people making this pattern thinking of? What about the people making the vest? Could they fathom a world where world wars didn't happen back to back? Could they imagine what peace felt like, or did it fade like a distant memory, a faint friend? All we have now are the remnants of their efforts, a "simple" vest that would warm the bodies of countless people the knitter would never have imagined were here on earth with them.
We're reaching across time to learn about other people - we're reaching our hands out just to grasp anything tangible. And when we've take hold of something, all we can do is say I love you I love you I love you
#positivity#art#i also come across this absolutely stunning woman who collects vintage pieces from the '50s and it's just. it's mind boggling#or how we've found ancient sheet music and have recreated its contents#do you ever think about how we're time travelers#do you ever think about what might be recreated of us in the future#this isn't about nostalgia baiting but about how we learn and process the ways that people in the past lived#you don't have to feel nostalgic for WWII to be intrigued by this (it would be very concerning if one WAS nostalgic for WWII)#i just. i die a little inside because i know i will never know everything...#...i will never know every lottle thing about people in the past especially...#...and i am never completely satisfied because only a very selective amount of things are preserved and remembered...#...i wonder then what 'forgotten' people thought and felt and how they lived...#...especially as individuals or as a small clan of family and friends. i want to know them intomately - as if i myself have become emeshed..#...does this make sense. i don't just want to know about nobles and kings and the wealthy...#...i want to know what the lacemaker for a king felt making lace for the royals...#...i want to know what the rice field worker thought about when the fields were flooded and they swatted a bug away from their skin...#...i want to know what a mother of a small child thought when churning butter - her baby cooing and making a mess...#...and it sucks sometimes to know that we're time travelers but in a very narrow sense. but i still love what we have got...#...don't get me wrong i love it. but i still grieve that we have lost a lot of history - a lot of people...#...or maybe we have only lost them in the sense that we just haven't located and found them *yet*#anyway i've watched that video multiple times now and i just go absolutely animalistic thinking about it#all of this is complex and i have Plenty of thoughts about that. but at least to me this is what i've seen a lot - a lot of love#and isn't studying this - recreating it and analyzing it - isn't that a form of love?#am i... a nosy person..........
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mudstoneabyss · 4 months
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actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)
#reading back that phrasing I do think that'll be the way brinknor takes it#this arcs seeming like it'll be so. breaking the cycle of abuse and violence and coming to terms with yourself#and maybe understanding that you can never remove the parts of you impacted by trauma and start again completely ''pure''#but you can treat yourself with the kindness you should've been given#which i hope it is that because. and understand i am biased. but i'd love that direction for Kevin#it feels much more satisfying than any more. angsty way this arc could go imo#like he's been through enough!#because of the way Kevin is portrayed in fanon. not as frequently anymore but still pretty common. I worry about coming off as woobifying#by saying I want him to heal I want him to have nice things I think he deserves them#when he's also simultaneously Not A Good Person#yknow the poor little innocent cinnamon roll baby etc etc fanon#but. well for one im Not Like That about him. but my main point of bringing that up is. him not being a good person is why I want to see hi#get better and generally have a good life. why does someone have to be good to deserve to heal from trauma#especially when trauma is a big reason for the way they are#like its fiction yeah yeah i'm still tired of mentally ill people having to be ''good'' to ''deserve'' to get better yknow#i mean especially in fiction you tend to either see mental illness as the poor traumatized one who's allowed recovery because they're nice#or the insane psychopath who cant be ''fixed'' so ''deserves'' bad things-up to deserving to die!- for it#i didnt mean for this to be a rant erm. oops#wtnv#wtnv spoilers#joyousposting
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ghostmistdraws · 11 months
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Ladies of the Lake
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carnivorous-eden · 3 months
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Homunculi (mostly just Envy) in different outfits
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(Different colored version under cut)
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