(Please do not edit/alter. Feel free to reblog, but please do not repost. At the very least, please give me credit.)
Prompt:
3. blade
So I finally got around to completing a prompt in Frauke's server decided to do some digital stipple shading with Ruby's knife in a skull in hell.... My clicker finger aches, but I'm happy with the results.
•Art notes, and WIP pics on the [AO3] post.
For more art from me please check out my “myart” tag here on Tumblr or my AO3.
and dean winchester thought he was unlovable and didnt deserve happiness he hated himself and thought eveyone would eventually leave him and then a literal fucking angel fell in love with him. like loved him more than anything else in the world.
Supernatural
S1E06 Skin
S2E04 Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things
S2E14 Born Under a Bad Sign
S6E08 All Dogs Go to Heaven
S7E02 Hello, Cruel World
S10E02 Reichenbach
Dad knew who you really were. Good soldier, nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you?
let dead dogs lie, silas denver melvin // i am a dog. i have blood all over my teeth, sciencedfiction // spn 1x16, shadow // chapter viii, chen chen // hannibal 2x12, tome-wan // the hour of the star, clarice lispector // spn 3x10, dream a little dream of me // i don’t smoke, mitski // i’m your man, mitski // spn 2x22, all hell breaks loose pt 2 // mary, the death riders
A Supernatural lesson in being young but also a child soldier and weapon of revenge
John's journal // Bobby in 7x10, Death's Door // Jack in 15x18, Despair // Sam & John arguing while Dean tries to stop them in 1x20, Dead Man's Blood // John's journal // Jack as a weapon in 15x18, Despair // Possessed Sam to Dean in 1x10, Asylum
if you wanna write dean as a father figure to jack you need to nut up and acknowledge that he is an abusive parent. if we can even call him a parent in relation to jack tbfh it’s a massive stretch. he’s more of a deadbeat than john was
when you don’t know who you are and you think you’re human and normal until you find out you’re not human, not normal, you’re something else entirely and whatever idea you had about yourself was fucking wrong and you can do weird unnatural things that scare you and aren’t fully controllable yet. and you just want to understand yourself and control yourself so you don’t hurt anyone and can still be the person you think you are instead whatever the truth holds for you.
and you try and use this weird new truth about yourself to try and do good and help the world you were born in and come to love so much and you’re like a hero you wanna be a hero. but the world doesn’t love you back or see you as a hero, it hates you. it doesn’t believe you’re a hero. it doesn’t know what you are , it doesn’t know why you’re here , it demands that you answer the same questions you’ve had your whole life
and instead of finding the answer you find something else . You find a way to do good and be loved and accepted and feel normal despite yourself and you think you’ve found a foothold you think you’ve found understanding at long last . You think you belong snd you think This Is Who You Are until it’s ripped the fuck away from you when finally you learn the truth you’ve been fearing yet searching so hard for. you finally have answers to the lifelong questions of who are you what are you really where do you come from and boom. You’re not a hero . You’re the very threat and danger that the world kept saying you were, kept hurting you because they thought you were.
Every single weird thing you can do has a purpose to destroy and kill and you are born to be a weapon and you can never love anything. Or be loved in return because what you are is a weapon a monster a freak a thing that should not be a thing that will never belong and is fundamentally unlovable . And you’re sorry that’s what you are. You’re so sorry that’s what you are and you hate that it’s the truth and you wish you could go back to not knowing anything at all and you wish you could stop being this fucking Thing but you can’t because it’s in your fucking blood and your DNA and your double helixes and your flesh and nerves and everything.
Your entire body and being and existence and core is made for something horrible and evil and you hate it but you can’t do anything about it except say you’re sorry and offer yourself to the gun or the altar because you still. At the point where you’ve relegated yourself to only being this thing, you still don’t want to, . The last good thing you can do at this point is let yourself die and spare the world from your own inescapable inherent biological ruinousness.
While watching season 12 of Supernatural, my husband and I got to "The One You've Been Waiting For," shortly before the boys storm in to rescue the girl and kill Hitler. Then this happens...
...and my husband gets this wide-eyed, gleeful look. Then, of course, Sam convinces Dean to set the grenade launcher aside for the moment, leading my husband to look at me.
"PLEASE tell me he eventually gets to use that!"
I tried to hold in a laugh but failed and said, "Mayyyybe..." 🤣