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#sorry this took forever but in my defense im insane so here we are
Note
kisses 21 jm!
For the prompt “we’ll face this together” kiss. TY SAHAR!!! OKAY I accidentally had one (1) jonbinary idea and then it ended up being SO FUCKING LONG (like 2.5k long) so uh. yeah. Warnings for descriptions of dysphoria, mentions of kidnapping and self loathing, and Jon getting pretty close to a panic attack. Also disclaimer, although I am nonbinary, I’m not transfem, so if there’s any critiques surrounding that, don’t hesitate to let me know. Stay safe y’all!
Jon’s face itches as he faces the mirror like an old foe. It’s long held an image that hurts him to see; aged by unfathomable horrors and dotted with marks like a canvas before a child’s paint tipped fingers, and these days he can’t even be sure that his reflection looks away from him when he turns his head. But, the devil it holds at the moment is the simple reflection of his short beard, and his face itches at the reminder of it.
It isn’t a physical itch. It lurks under the skin, poking and prodding at his senses, rubbing him the wrong way as he lays his cheek on his pillow, leaving a distracting echo when his chin brushes against Martin’s during a kiss, scraping at the inside of his skin as he stares at himself and takes in the sight of it covering his chin.
He scrubs his fingers over his eyelids. He isn’t ignorant, he realizes the discomfort he feels is most likely somewhat gender-related, but it’s… his relationship with his gender is complicated. In a lot of ways, it’s been such a mundane concern recently that he’s somewhat lost track of where he stands with it, but he remembers how it felt to first wear a skirt into the archives, all those long years ago. How gentle Sasha had been with him back then, even if the memory pinches the back of his head and grins with too many teeth and a short haircut that he knows now was wrong. But the Stranger cannot take that act of kindness away from her, even if it took away the face he remembers sharing it with.
He had felt like he was becoming something new, then, staring at a new path, freshly paved in his life, open to the possibilities of self discovery and certainty. Then his life had been riddled with worms and his friends had been carved out, one by screaming one, and he was on the run and set alight and kidnapped and disabled and nearly killed and kidnapped again and nearly killed and—
Jon remembers, vaguely, a flash of what had happened in the month he was… gone. He doesn’t remember most of what happened in that place. Probably for the better, he tells himself, but he does recall one thing. One very simple thing, really; that he hadn’t been able to shave, and he remembers the itch being all he could focus on for days at a time.
One of the first things he had done after stumbling through Michael-now-Helen’s door-not-deathtrap was drag himself to a sink and shave his face raw, burned hand be damned. His skin had suffered afterwards, nicked and irritated beneath its smoothness, and he had taken some strange, morbid comfort in the blemish he was able to inflict, after so many days of hearing hollow voices sing of its beauty.
This is a dangerous line of thought, he realizes, hands pressed against the bathroom sink, his heartbeat starting to pound in his ears. He desperately does not want to think about that, not here, and preferably not ever again, if he can help it.
He tries to bring himself back to the here and now, grounding himself in the feeling of porcelain under his palms, but the victory over his mind is a hollow one, unfortunately, as it brings him right back to the itching under his skin.
He’s not sure if this itch is exasperated by his own self consciousness, or by the lingering sting of the Lonely that threatened to separate him from himself, but it builds until its all he can feel in his skin, on his face, and he finds himself lunging across the counter, knocking things over in an attempt to hunt down Martin’s razor.
Jon had lost his own somewhere in the chaos of living in the archives, but he’s sure he saw Martin trim his own short beard when they first arrived at the safehouse, so it must be here, he thinks, ripping open drawers, it must— aha!
His fist closes around the razor, hidden under the sink next to a small bottle of shaving cream and Martin’s testosterone shots, and he barely gives a thought to what he’s doing before raising it to his dry cheek, just needing this thing off, and—
“Jon? You know that’s not how to do that, right?”
Jon whips around like lightning, his back to the sink and the razor clenched in his fist against his chest like a talisman, breathing heavily.
Martin had been smiling slightly as he entered the bathroom, but the expression quickly falls from his face as he takes in the panicked look on Jon’s face, and the erratic motion of his free hand, clenched into a fist at his side and twitching in an attempt to calm himself. Martin steps forward quickly, outstretching a hand.
“Jon, love? Are you alright?”
Jon fixes his eyes on Martin; kind, beautiful Martin who still goes a bit grey at the fingertips and the eyes when anxiety seizes him, Martin who has always been there, always been there, ever since the beginning. Jon anchors himself as he looks at that familiar, beloved face, and tries to take a breath.
“I-I don’t know,” He manages, because this all feels very silly now. He’s a grown person standing in the center of a bathroom, clutching his boyfriend’s shaving razor like it’s a weapon, for God’s sake, all because of what? Some facial hair? Good Lord, he’s being ridiculous. “Probably, I just… um.” He trails off, gut sinking as emotions spiral through him, too fast to pin down and name.
“Okay,” Martin says gently, shuffling a step closer. “Why do you have that?” He gestures to the razor in Jon’s hand, and Jon twitches, holding it closer.
“I need to borrow it,” He explains, stumbling. “I can’t- I need-“ He makes a frustrated noise and tries to get his thoughts to align. He inhales deeply and tries again. “I need to …shave. This-“ he gestures jerkily towards his face. “This is too much.”
Martin nods carefully, eyes glued to Jon’s face. “Too much?” His question is as gentle as his eyes, and Jon has to glance away for a moment, overwhelmed by being seen.
“It’s… complicated,” He begins, the fist pressed to his chest beginning to lighten up. “It… it just itches, all the time. Like- like a thousand ants under my skin, w-which is ridiculous because it doesn’t actually hurt or itch or- or anything, it just…” he glances back to Martin’s eyes, furtive and desperate for him to understand. “I need it to stop.”
“Oh,” Martin softens even more before Jon’s eyes, his face melting with understanding and sadness. “Oh, Jon. I didn’t realize you were having dysphoria.”
At the word dysphoria Jon glances sharply up, uncertainty fraught on his face, and Martin backtracks quickly.
“Or- s-sorry, I didn’t mean to assume. Is it-”
“N-no, Martin, it-it’s fine.” Jon waves Martin’s nerves aside and finds that he finally has a decent enough hold on his own to lower the hand that had been pressed against his chest. He turns around in the bathroom and sits down on the edge of the bathtub, sighing heavily. “It might be dysphoria, I don’t…” He hesitates, chuckling slightly. “I’m not quite sure I know it well enough to place it. Gender hasn’t exactly been… a priority these days.”
Martin nods and follows him deeper into the bathroom, setting down the lid of the toilet so he can sit on it and listen to Jon blunder through his feelings.
“It might be? I mean… I know I’m not a man, per say, but it… I mean, it could also be so many other things at this point. It’s just- I know it’s stupid to overthink, but—“
“Hey, hey,” Martin cuts him off, extending a hand to brush against the side of his knee. “It isn’t stupid, Jon. You don’t have to have a label or a reason in order to be uncomfortable. It’s- you’re allowed to call it just that; uncomfortable.”
Jon nods, looking down at the hands clasped in his lap.
“I know. It just hit me so suddenly, I-” He sighs, rubbing a hand over his forehead, careful to avoid brushing any of the hairs on his face. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Martin murmurs, and his hand rests more solidly on Jon’s knee. “Is this alright?”
Jon nods mutely, and lets himself expel some more of the tension in his shoulders as he focuses on the motion of Martin’s thumb sweeping softly over his knee.
“It reminds me of the circus,” Jon breathes after a moment of silence, and Martin’s hand stills against him, attentive and horrified. “When- when they…” He inhales sharply, willing his voice not to break. “Well, I couldn’t very well shave it,” He clenches his hands into fists again, still holding the razor tightly in his right. “Got it off as quickly as possible once I could.”
Martin exhales. “I remember that. I thought you just… I dunno, just really nicked yourself. I didn’t think about… yeah.”
“Yes,” Jon agrees, keeping his gaze on the hand on his knee. “I-I mean, I definitely did, nick myself that is. I wasn’t really thinking about doing it properly, I suppose.”
“Like just now?” Martin asks, kindly, gently, not judging. Jon feels his chest pinch anyways.
“Yes.” He admits quietly. Martin leans down to press a careful kiss to Jon’s knee.
“Okay, well, this time we’ll do it properly,” Martin raises himself from the toilet seat, reaching down into the cupboards to pull forth the shaving cream and a towel, and holds them out towards Jon.
Jon blinks, looks at the objects and then up at Martin, unsure of what’s being offered. “Sorry?”
“You still want the beard off, right? Let’s just make sure you don’t upset your skin,” He cracks a humorous smile. “Then it’ll actually start itching.”
Jon takes the can from his hand, but still frowns. “Us?”
“I- yeah,” Martin shifts his weight, fidgeting with the towel. “I can help, if that’s alright with you. You don’t… always seem to handle mirrors the best? And I’ve helped shave another person before so… yeah. If you want.”
Jon’s world stutters to a blushing halt. Martin’s right, he doesn’t like to linger on his face in mirrors even on the best days (of which today is certainly not one) and as much as he’s accustomed to doing this himself, what Martin is promising is intimate; an extension of vulnerability and the promise of a care that he hardly takes with himself. The more he considers it, the more finds himself tentatively wanting it, and he nods carefully. He trusts Martin, he’s decided a thousand times by now.
“Alright,” He agrees, and smiles.
Martin smiles in response. “Alright. Do you want me to um-” He gestures with the towel in his hand, and Jon nods.
Martin makes quick work of running the towel under the tap until it’s warm, and then wringing it out so it’s ready to actually use. He takes his seat again and tips Jon’s head back with a hand to lay the towel gently overtop, letting the warmth seep into his skin. It’s more effort than Jon usually puts in, or used to, when he did this more regularly, but he finds it’s a nice feeling, and he almost misses it when Martin takes the towel away again.
“Right,” Martin continues, looks pointedly to the can of shaving cream in Jon’s hand and Jon hesitates.
“Ah. Maybe not that part? Th-the actual shaving is fine, but-”
“Oh! Yeah, of course,” Martin nods, not questioning, and reaches forward instead to gently take the razor itself from Jon’s fist so he can use both hands to get the shaving cream on his face. Jon surrenders the razor, forcing himself to trust it in Martin’s hands, to trust that Martin won’t just leave him hanging.
He tries not to think too hard about the feeling of the cream on his skin. It’s a far cry from lotion, so it doesn’t bring up any sense memories, thankfully, but it’s still an uncomfortable texture, and he focuses on the sound of Martin’s breathing to keep himself from slipping.
Fortunately it doesn’t take long; soon enough Jon’s finished, wiping his hands on his trousers, and then Martin’s shifting closer, taking Jon’s face in his hands like it’s something precious, something to be loved and cared for. He is very close, his dark brown eyes nearly black with focus as he gently reaffirms that Jon’s sure about this, and then the cool razor swipes across Jon’s cheek.
Jon’s heart lurches in his chest, a messy combination of nerves and gratefulness, but he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t move at all, and just watches Martin focus with gentle certaintly as the blade passes over his cheeks again and again in careful, confident strokes. His fingers whisper at Jon’s chin when he tilts up his head and swipes the blade carefully up the top of his throat, brow furrowed and tongue poking out of his lips in concentration.
Jon holds his breath, wills his heart to still, but it’s alright, with Martin it’s always alright. His hands are warm as they cup his cheeks, tilt him this way and that, thorough in their task, and his fingertips are gentle as they lift his chin and brush away foam and ghost over his throat. He never even comes close to nicking him, and Jon feels a great warmth unspooling in his chest, stinging his eyes.
“All done,” Martin finishes triumphantly, his face breaking into a grin as he hands Jon the towel again, lets him wipe off his own face.
There’s no coarse texture as the fabric touches his face, no itching or discomfort as it drags over his chin, and the steady drumbeat of wrongness that had pervaded him for weeks finally, finally dissipates, unblocking his lungs and releasing the tightness from his shoulders. He runs a hand over his chin, and finds a shy smile quickly taking over his face, affection and relief filling him up from the inside out and spilling onto his features.
“Thank you,” He breathes, and Martin matches his smile with one of his own, and nods, nothing but respect and affection in his eyes.
“Any time,” Martin says seriously, before reaching out to take Jon’s hand and slowly bringing it to his lips, giving Jon ample time to pull away. “You don’t have to struggle with this stuff alone,” He murmurs against Jon’s knuckles. “It’s easier together.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Jon’s response is quiet, and Martin kisses his hand then; gentle, and full of reverence. Jon finds that he could melt right into the floor and be happy for the rest of his life.
He reaches up to pull Martin down into a kiss, gentle and insistent and grateful, lacing his hands in his hair and sighing against his lips at the sensation, noting how nice it feels to kiss his boyfriend without his itching skin pressing at his thoughts.
The kiss stays chaste, and eventually Jon pulls back just enough to press their foreheads together, keeping his eyes closed, reveling in it. “Together, then.” He affirms, and Martin smiles.
“One way or another.”
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limitlessgojo · 3 years
Text
Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate (Ch 3)
Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood
Previous Chapter: The Rebirth
Next Chapter: Cherry Blossom Storm
Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader
Taglist: @lessie-oxj, @rizzo-nero, @whoreuc
Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, please mention it in the comments below ty.
Chapter 3: What's Your Ideal Type?
Todo senpai looked you over and was seemingly checking you out thoroughly. ‘Are all the seniors like this here?!’ You wondered.
You tried to hide behind Noritoshi senpai who put a hand over you protectively. His sleeve was wide enough to block out your entire body from view. At this, Todo’s eyebrow raised. Oh? Noritoshi's interested in a cute girl?
“I’m sorry senpai, what do you mean by that question?” you asked, thinking that you just misheard him. "Exactly what I meant. Who is your type?"
"Todo" Noritoshi said in warning. There was a dark edge to his voice and his entire body tensed as he prepared to fight.
"Answer me. Or else I'll beat you." He smirked and ripped off his jacket.
You stared agape and clung onto Noritoshi's spread arm sleeves. "Eh? EHHH?! I don't want anyone to get hurt. But I don't want to say something so personal to a stranger."
"Todo Aoi. 16 years old. I like tall girls with big cute butts. My favorite idol is Takada-chan. Call me Todo Senpai. Pleasure to meet you. Now we are friends." He grinned maniacally.
You shook your head in a daze. This man is insane. "I guess I can tell you… but only when the both of us are alone."
Noritoshi looked at you affronted and slightly offended. Why would you leave him out of it?! "Ah as much as possible I don't like telling people such things, because I'm a bit of a private person. But since Todou senpai also shared his type of girl, I feel like I can share my ideal man." You reasoned, seeing how Noritoshi senpai felt left out.
"Fine with me. Let's go outside the building then." Todou smirked.
Alarm bells were ringing in Noritoshi's head. Last year, back when he first met Todo, he got beat into a pulp for not answering said question.
He stood protectively over you, blocking you from Todo's view and said, "No. You'll just end up hurting her."
"Tch, don't get in my way Kamo. You're always such a huge pain in the ass. You never even answered my question and it's been a year. I'm pretty sure you have a boring ideal type." Todo huffed out.
"I'll beat you up then." Todo grinned as Noritoshi made no moves to leave your side.
Todo rushed forward, ready to hit Noritoshi, while Noritoshi held onto a blood bag to defend himself. But you moved the fastest. You quickly stood in front of Noritoshi, moving past him silently, and held out a single hand.
Todo froze. Literally. He couldn't move his hands, arms, legs. He can't activate his cursed technique like this, and you knew it. The use of hand movement is a very significant part of Jujutsu Techniques.
Your technique gave you an edge above the rest, making you very effective at combat against other Jujutsu sorcerers. Which is why an esper as capable as you only appears once in every 200 years in your family.
Noritoshi stood impressed. Your cursed energy output was very steady. "Todo senpai. I'm so sorry and pardon me for immobilising you, but let's take this outside and leave Noritoshi senpai out of it."
With a snap of your fingers, you released him from your technique and he staggered to the ground. His muscles felt all tight and painful.
You turned to Noritoshi. "Noritoshi senpai, it's okay. I'm quite capable at defense. He won't be able to reach me." You confidently stated with a smile. "Are you okay?" You checked on him.
He gave a slight scoff, "I should be the one asking you that! This man here is dangerous…. And he also happens to be a classmate of mine." Noritoshi sighed out.
Todo grunted. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here. Cmon lets go outside and just answer my question already."
"After you Todo senpai." You motioned, then followed him outside. As soon as you were a certain distance from Noritoshi, you activated a cubical barrier which blocked off sound.
Todo looked impressed. "You're a first year?! At this level? Color me amazed little girl."
You were unamused. "I'm not a little girl. I'm currently 15 years old and my ideal type is a guy who is at least a head taller than me. Black hair. Cute sleepy eyes. Nice big hands. Someone who may come off as cool or detached to others but is warm with me. The gap Moe is the most important part." By the end of it you were rambling.
Todo looked at you with a knowing glint. "Big hands? That's all?" You flushed thinking about abs and pecs. "Ahh uhmm, the other things aren't really ….. appropriate for me to say??"
"Don't hold back. I won't tell anyone else and I don’t judge. I just want to size you up. You can know a person just based on their fetishes."
Fetishes?! "Uhhh… a nice set of abs… and pecs…. But he doesn't have to be too muscular, I like a fit guy who is on the slender and graceful side…."
"Do you realize that Kamo fits your ideal type?!" He howled out with laughter. "SHHHH TODO SENPAI SHUSHH". You screeched, momentarily forgetting that you had a barrier up.
"Wait … Does he have nice abs?! Oh man I'm not gonna be able to get that image out of my mind now…" You groaned.
"You have good taste. Finally, someone who has a decent fetish, Tsuchi Chan." Todo grinned down at you. He patted you on the shoulder. "Good luck with him. He's as dense as they come. I'm also still looking forward to sparring with you."
"I-im not interested in Noritoshi Senpai!" You huffed out with red cheeks. "Please don't assume things." You were in denial. And Todo senpai knew it.
"I don't think that's how it works, Tsuchi Chan." He was still laughing at you.
You harrumphed. "Also why are you so interested in sparring with me anyways?"
"You have a lot of cursed energy. Way more than anyone else here in Kyoto Jujutsu High. I sensed that and with my brilliant IQ of 135000, I am assuming you would be a powerful opponent. Which was why I felt like I wanted to battle you." Todo said truthfully.
Oh. That's nice. "Well I hope to do so also when we have training together." You clapped your hands and the barrier fell apart.
Noritoshi rushed over to you and hovered his hands over you. You turned to him with one hand up, "I'm all good. It's all good Noritoshi senpai." You smiled up at him.
He scanned your eyes before nodding and face darkening when he turned back to Todo, who was staring at him intently. "Are you done interrogating her Todo?"
"It wasn't so much interrogation as it was a good chat hey?" He smiled at you. You tilted your head in a meh kind of way and stood to hold onto Noritoshi's sleeve. "It was okay, but it's still weird to ask people about their fetishes after meeting them for the first time."
Noritoshi's heart fluttered when you took hold of the edges of his sleeve.
"So, are you going to tell us who's your type Kamo?" Todo asked.
Your heart skipped a beat as you let go of the sleeve as you took a step backwards. "Uhhh I'm not sure if I'm supposed to intrude on this convo..."
"Someone who I can trust. Someone honest and who will stay by my side for a long time." He said coolly. You drank in his words, forever etching them into your memory.
Trustworthy. Honest. Loyal.
"Boooooring. You’re a boring person Kamo." Todo yawned and stretched. "Only Tsuchi Chan is interesting so far. Everyone else has shitty taste."
Noritoshi looked over at you curiously, but you pointedly avoided his gaze. "Todo senpai it's a secret between us you promised." You pouted.
But he only waved his hand, "I'm not that much of a bad sport. A secret will stay a secret, and it's safe with me."
You nodded and sighed in relief.
"So are you both out on a date right now? I've been meaning to ask." Todo senpai smiled.
Evil. He is evil. You and Noritoshi both flushed bright red and stammered out, "No no no."
"I was showing her around the campus."
"Noritoshi senpai is kind enough to bring me around campus."
"Hmmmm… then would you mind if I join the two of you?" Todo asked.
"Yes we do mind. I'd prefer it if it was only the two of us." Noritoshi irritably spoke. He just wasn't in the mood to deal with Todo right now.
You quickly whipped your head to face him in surprise. He jolted at your movement, and his face softened when your eyes met. "Of course if you don't mind or want him to tag along he can. I just want to help you familiarise yourself with the campus.”
You stammered out something ineligible but you were saved by Todo senpai.
“I was only kidding. Takada chan has a live stream in 10 minutes and that is way more important. Enjoy your not-date around campus.” Todo called out with a wave of his hand as he turned back to the dorms.
“What on earth just happened?” you laughed out loud as you and Noritoshi made your way to the classrooms. He shook his head. “I don’t even want to think about it anymore.”
Feel free to ask me anything if you have any questions about the fic and the characters. I will answer as long as it won't be a major spoiler^^/ 💜Mon
Blood Bound: Table of Contents
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cherrybracelets · 4 years
Text
Heat Waves
weed dealer!mgg x reader 
masterlist | requests
word count: 5.5k | warnings: 18+ content! drugs and alcohol mentions and usage. no smut but partying!
summary: your brother has a new roommate, and fuck, you might be in love with him? 
song inspo : heat waves - glass animals 
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an: this gif is how i imagine him in this fic like w glasses but way less nerdy ahahha ok well whatever idk if im gonna continue this or just leave it as is lmk what yall think ok byeee
You stumbled up the steps of the subway, the heavy cardboard box you were holding slipping out of your hands as you made your way above ground. You tried to adjust your grip on it and almost fell backwards, shaking your head in frustration. The box was filled with all the random shit your brother had left at your place over the past few months as he was trying to find a place to live, sleeping on different couches of random friends. It was almost all useless stuff, which made the fact that you had to hand deliver it all to him even more frustrating.
You walked tirelessly down the street, gripping harshly on to the box. You pushed your way through people, not caring at all that you probably looked insane as you yelled for people to move so you could just get there and fucking put this box down. You finally came upon the building, sighing with relief as you set the box on the steps and rang the buzzer.
“I’m here,” you groaned into the speaker, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand.
“Hello!” A cheery voice responded over the intercom. A voice that was definitely not your brothers. “Who exactly is here?”
“Oh, sorry- I might have the wrong apartment. Is this 4B?”
“Yeah! You must be Danny’s sister. Come on up.” The door buzzed loudly as it unlocked, and you grabbed onto the handle quickly, lugging in the box behind you. You were extremely grateful when you saw the elevator, quietly thanking the universe that you didn’t have to walk up four flights of stairs with this thousand pound box.
You took the elevator up to the fourth floor, your body exhausted as you leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath. You closed your eyes, hoping that maybe a five second nap could give you your energy back. But unfortunately, the elevator stopped and opened its doors, urging you to once again pick up the box and be on your way. You dropped your head to the floor and sighed, using the last of your energy to pick up the box and walk down the long hallway to apartment 4B.
Thankfully the apartment wasn’t too far from the elevator, and you only had a short walk until you came upon the door of his new place. You noticed a welcome mat on the floor that read ‘Bachelor Pad’, and you rolled your eyes at the pure douchiness of the thing. God, your brother was a prick. But, nevertheless, you loved him, he was family. Despite being one of the most annoying people you’d ever met.
You knocked slowly on the door, excited to throw the box into someone else’s arms and run home. It was your day off from work, and all you wanted was to throw on some sweats, eat frozen mac and cheese and watch Jeopardy until you fell asleep on the couch. The perfect day.
The door swung open, and the man who was definitely not your brother stood on the other side, a large smile plastered across his picture perfect face. His messy curls hung across his face, and he pushed them away before reaching out to you to grab the box.
“Let me get that for you,” he said quietly, literally lifting the weight off your shoulders as he grabbed it effortlessly. The muscles in his arms protruded as he set the box down on an old dining table they had set up in the kitchen, a cluster of mismatched chairs along with it.
“Thanks,” you said back, your eyes still trailing over his body, watching him closely. “Is, uh, is my brother here?” You stuttered to get your words out, your eyes still locked on the model-like man in front of you.
“No, he just ran out actually. Went to pick up a couch or something.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. He told me he would be here!” You shook your head in annoyance, crossing your arms over your chest, which pushed out your cleavage slightly. You caught the man glancing at your breasts, and felt your heart start beating a bit faster. He wasn’t even trying to the fact that he was staring at you. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you. He really was supposed to be here to get this.”
“It’s not a problem at all. He told me you’d be stopping by. I’m Matt, by the way. I’m sure he’s told you about me.” He stuck out his hand, and you reached back and grabbed it. His hands were soft, but the tips of his fingers stained black, the familiar site of a smoker. The air hung the smell of stale pot smoke, so it was pretty easy to put together that he was a heavy weed guy. 
“I’m (Y/N). And, uh, no, actually. He hasn’t told me, like anything about you. Just that he knows you from work and you’re a ‘pretty decent guy’,” you laughed, letting go of his hand but desperately wanting to hold on to it forever. You didn’t really understand why, but something about his touch was so comforting, it made you feel like coming home after a long day.
“Uh, I was just about to smoke a bowl actually, if you’d like to join. Your brother told me you smoke,” Matt said, motioning to the coffee table covered in various paraphernalia.
“I don’t make a habit of smoking with strangers,” you responded sharply, realizing immediately how bitchy you must’ve sounded and wishing you could take it back. You scrunched your face a bit, cringing as you replayed the sentence over and over in your head.
“But I’m not a stranger! I’m Matt! Besides, this is fantastic stuff- I just got it from my guy the other day, knocks your socks off,” he giggled, his eyes wide as he wanted to desperately for you to say yes.
“Well, I guess I really can’t say no to free weed,” you shrugged, following him over to the old couch they had set up in their under furnished living room. It was exactly how you pictured your brothers apartment to look- disappointing and not at all coordinated.
“Sorry about the place, we’re trying to make it look nice but we’re not exactly interior decorators.” He shook his head as he looked around the room, before picking up his freshly packed bowl and lighting it.
“Yeah, it looks pretty frat-housey in here. I would expect more from you, but not from my brother,” you giggled, taking the glass pipe from Matt’s hands and enjoying it yourself.
“Why me?”
“Well... I don’t know...” you stuttered, shaking your head and trying to pull together a sentence. “You just seem to have... more style, I guess. Seem more put together.”
“I appreciate that. I do try extremely hard to not look like a douche.” He smiled kindly at you, his eyes shining with the reflection of the lighter as the two of you continued to share the bowl.
You made small talk for a bit, feeling the calm of the marijuana taking over your body. The old couch suddenly became much more comfortable as you sunk back into it, staring at the patterns on the ceiling. Matt was talking quietly behind you, trying to tell some story about him and your brother; but you were only half listening, losing yourself in your own thoughts of him. Thinking about the softness of his lips as he inhaled and exhaled, watching his hands flex tireless to work the lighter, noticing how his body seemed to relax more and more with each hit.
He tilted his head towards you, flicking the lighter with his thumb and escaping in the flame. He had lost himself in it, a comfortable silence coming down over the room. You watched the flame, too, trying to see whatever beauty he saw in it- but you weren’t feeling anything, and getting pretty antsy. You turned away from him, staring into the kitchen and hoping to see something edible from this distance. You weren’t sure what kind of food two men like this would bring into their home, but you were sure it was nothing good. Your stomach grumbled at the thought of something to eat, and you fell back into the couch with a groan.
“You okay?” Matt whispered, turning his face towards you and staring at your eyes.
“Mhmm,” you responded, not having the energy to respond at the moment.
“You are extremely beautiful,” he mumbled, his eyes exploring your face, finding themselves locked on your lips no matter how hard he tried to look away.
“What?” You snickered, replaying the words in your head, feeling your heart pounding out of your chest.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to be weird. It’s just shocking to me how beautiful you are. Like a piece of art; I can’t take my eyes away.”
“You’re joking.” You rolled your eyes at him and pushed his arm playfully, trying to hide the obvious delight in your face.
“Why do you think I’m joking?”
“I just don’t hear that very often.”
“Well, that’s disappointing.” He frowned, looking down at his hands and playing with his over bitten nails.
“Sorry, I mean, I appreciate it of course. Fuck, sorry, I get so awkward when I’m high. Not very good at holding conversations.”
“Well, now that we’re friends I’ll make sure to remind you how beautiful you are as often as I can.” Matt placed his hand on yours lightly, at first only as a friendly touch, but feeling a comfort in the embrace. His thumb moved slowly, the small movement between your flesh overwhelming you with desire. Your eyes were locked on his, an intoxicating silence overcoming the room. You opened your mouth to speak, not sure exactly what to say, but the sound of the door unlocking breaking you from your daze. You pulled your hand away from his quickly and jumped off the couch, watching as the door opened and your brother walked in.
“Heyo!” Danny, your brother yelled, greeting the two of you with a large smile. “I see you’ve met my sister!”
“Yes, uh, yeah. We were just chatting,” Matt said defensively, trying to avoid eye contact with you.
“I was just waiting for you to get back. That’s all.” You responded, nodding your head quickly.
“How sweet! Just in time to help me get the new couch up!”
“Absolutely not. I brought your box, that's all the free labor you are getting out of me.” You laughed awkwardly, looking back at Matt, who was still avoiding you.
“Alright, whatever, but don’t ever ask me for anything ever again.” Danny rolled his eyes, throwing his phone down on the counter and grabbing a beer out of the fridge.
“Well, I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow night for my party?” You asked, heading towards the door.
“Oh, right! I almost forgot. Is it cool if I bring Matt?” 
You looked at Matt, who finally looked back at you, and you nodded slowly.
“Of course. I’ll see you guys then.” You smiled at the two of them, gave a small wave and left, closing the door loudly behind you. Fuck. What the fuck was that? Was he flirting with you? Or was he just high? You closed your eyes and leaned your head against the wall, trying to compose yourself before heading home.
***************
There was nothing that stressed you out more than when your roommate threw her chaotic ‘get togethers’ every other Friday at your place. It was always an exhausting mess, and now you had to think about Matt coming along as well. You hadn’t stopped thinking about your weird intimate moment together, and the thought of seeing him again made your stomach do backflips.
There was something about him that made you feel so comfortable, so at home. But he’s friends with your brother... he has to be a scumbag. Right? And what kind of guy just walks around telling random girls they’re beautiful. He was definitely just trying to sleep with you. Which of course you wanted to sleep with him too, obviously. But he was the kind of guy that you could find yourself falling for, and getting hurt, badly. He was the kind of guy that would break your heart. You could tell. And you could not let him in, no matter how much you wanted to.
Tonight has to be all about ignoring him. You cannot let him be alone with you, because the moment he’s alone with you and starts calling you beautiful again with his pretty face and intoxicating voice and touching your hand... you were playing a dangerous game. You closed your eyes and let out a deep sigh, trying to push the thoughts of him out of your head when you were interrupted.
“What are you doing? I told you to get the cups set out like 20 minutes ago!” Your roommate rolled her eyes, pushing you to the side and laying out the cups herself.
“Sorry, Callie. Just a bit distracted today.”
“I can tell. What’s going on with you? You were weird all night last night.”
“Just tired I guess. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go set the drinks out.” You walked away quickly, hoping she would be too focused on her party planning to ask any more questions. Whenever you told her about a new guy, she was stupidly optimistic. And you really didn’t need her telling you to go for it when your brain was giving you the exact opposite advice. She just shrugged, turned around and went back to mindlessly setting up. You felt relief wash over you as she looked away, and you could once again get lost in your own thoughts and anxieties.
You mindlessly laid cups and other dumb decorations out, Matt’s face continuously crossing your mind. You found yourself smiling every time you played his words over in your head. His voice like silk as it wrapped around your body, warmth flowing through you as his lips whispered ‘You are extremely beautiful’ over and over again. You felt your heart racing, and you took a deep breath as you were brought back into reality by the vibration of your phone in your pocket.
You grabbed it, only to see you had multiple missed calls from your brother. ‘Fuck’, you thought. He knew, he somehow knew about your little flirt session with Matt. You shook your head in distress, preparing for the oncoming conversation as you reluctantly pressed the answer button and brought the phone to your ear. 
“Hello?” You muttered, squeezing your eyes shut to bear the impending rage from your brother.
“Jesus, I've called you like 18 times? What’s your deal?” He laughed, his voice full of his normal light and cheery tone. You took a sigh of relief after you realized he didn’t know a thing.
“Sorry, uh, helping Callie set everything up. Must’ve put my phone down and forgot it somewhere.”
“Well I need to know what liquor and illegal substances you’d like me to bring tonight- I’ve only got like an hour!” He said urgently.
“Uh, honestly whatever you want. We’ve got a few bottles here but nothing you’d like, probably.”
“You sound distracted, you all good?” You could head the concern in his voice, and you rolled your eyes aggressively.
“Everyone keeps asking me that today and it’s pretty annoying. I’m just trying to set up a party I don’t really want to be involved in and everyone keeps bothering me!”
“Jesus, grumpy pants. Looks like someone needs a nap... or a blunt.” Danny laughed quietly, and you bit your tongue to stop yourself from yelling at him again.
“Sorry. On edge today. Don’t want to talk about it.”
“No worries. I’ll see you later, okay? Try and cheer up a bit by then, I’d like to make a good impression on Matt.” Danny hung up quickly after that, and the word ‘Matt” kept ringing in your head over and over like a church bell. You put your phone down on the table and looked up at Callie, who was adjusting your work on the cups table.
“I need a drink,” you groaned.
“A little pregame shot, I love it!” She squealed, prancing over to the bottles and pouring shots for the two of you. You downed yours quickly, letting the liquor burn through your insides. You were hoping, after enough of it, it would burn through any thoughts you had of him. 
After another shot, the next hour before the guests arrived flew by. Callie put on some music and you danced your worries away, deciding which outfit to wear by rampaging through your closet. You kept fighting the urge to look as sexy as possible, one half of you wanting Matt’s jaw to drop as soon as he saw you, and the other half wanting him to ignore you all night. You couldn’t resist the temptation, though, and chose an extremely well fitting and low cut dress that accentuated all of your best features perfectly.
“God, you are literally the perfect specimen,” Callie giggled as you walked out of your room to show off. “Who the fuck are you trying to impress?”
“No one!” You responded, raising your eyes at her. “Can’t I just look good for myself?”
“Not that good. That is for someone. I know you.” You were saved by the ringing of your doorbell, and you smiled, relieved.
“Whatever you say. Go welcome your guests,” you motioned to the door. Callie just rolled her eyes and walked gleefully over to the entryway to welcome your first partygoers.
A few more groups of people rolled in, and you paid no attention as you were too busy making yourself another strong drink. You poured sloppily into the cup, giggling as splashes of soda and vodka spilled down the sides of your cup.
“You better watch out there, pretty girl. Making quite a mess.”
You turned around quickly, Matt’s voice making you jump in surprise.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled brightly, his perfect face begging to be touched, adored, kissed. You looked at every part of him, every beautiful part of him, stuttering to get words out.
“No... you’re... it’s okay. Sorry.” You put the bottle back down on the table and picked up your cup, taking a large swig, and nearly gagging on the taste of the strong liquor.
“Can I get in there and make a drink?” His eyes travelled up and down your body, his lips slightly pursing at the sight of you. You felt your heart pounding through your chest and he eyed you. His eyes finally locked on yours, his gaze paralyzing, your body refusing to move.
“Of course. We have lots of options. Anything you want,” you managed to squeak out, still unable to draw yourself away from his gaze. His eyes didn’t leave yours, and he smiled slightly, reaching his hand out to grab a bottle. For a split second you thought he was reaching out to touch you, and when you thought about the feeling of his skin on yours, you felt yourself melt. Desire and craving washed over your body in a wave that you couldn’t push away even if you tried.
“Thank you. I’ll see you around, (Y/N).” He finally looked away, and began walking back towards the small group of people who had gathered in your living room, including Callie and your brother. You felt relief as you were able to breath again, your body relaxing as he got farther and farther away. You waited a few moments before following him to join the rest of your friends.
“Ah, there you are, my sister!” Danny yelled, wrapping you in his arms so abruptly that you almost spilled your drink everywhere.
“Hey bud!” You hugged him back, grateful to have someone here to take your mind off of Matt.
“We were just about to play a fun little ice breaker game, since Matt is new to the group and all,” Danny motioned to Matt, who smiled and waved awkwardly as everyone stared at him.
“An ice breaker, really? What is this, college orientation?” You joked, taking another swig of your intensely strong drink.
“Shut up. Don’t be such an ass.” Danny rolled his eyes and pointed to an empty seat, and you realized it wasn’t worth fighting him. He loved to play stupid little games like this, that everyone else dreaded. But you have to admit, everyone always ended up having fun at the end of the day.
“What’s the game, Danny boy?” Callie cooed, getting comfy on the couch between a few of your other friends. She always had the biggest crush on him, although you forbid her from ever getting near him. It wasn’t her, you loved her and would love it even more if she was your sister. But he was such a dick, you knew he would break her heart, and you would not stand for that.
“Easy, everyone shares one surprising fact about themselves.”
“Oh god, I don’t think I have any,” someone moaned, and Danny just laughed.
“No worries, plenty of time to think. I can start. Uh.... I slept with my professors wife in college as revenge for him giving me a C- on my final.” Danny smiled proudly and took a long swig of beer. The group around you just groaned in disgust and laughed, but you knew the story. That wasn’t the entirety of it at all, in fact, Danny had fallen desperately in love with this woman and she crushed his heart by choosing her husband over him. But he would never tell all of that, because that doesn’t sound cool. Apparently you weren’t the only one who knew the truth, though, because Matt instinctively turned to you and looked at you in a way that read, ‘This guy is so full of shit.’ Apparently Matt and your brother were closer than you though, if he told him his biggest secret. 
“Hmm, Matt, I think you should be next. Only fair since you’re the new guy.” Danny turned to Matt with an excited face, like a little kid on christmas.
“Oh man, alright. Well, I guess one thing that people have a hard time believing about me is that I am a bit of a hopeless romantic. I believe in soul mates, love at first sight. All of that bullshit. I’m a sucker for it.” Matt looked right at you as the words spilled out of his mouth, not even trying to hide the obviousness of what he was trying to say. You tried your best to look away from him, but you couldn’t pretend his words weren’t entrapping you.
“That’s super corny, bro,” Danny laughed, pushing Matt slightly. He just shrugged, and took a sip of vodka straight from the bottle. Danny bothered a few more people about their secrets, and you listened intently to stories about shoplifting and coke addictions, trying to avoid his obvious gaze. You knew he was staring at you, his eyes burning holes in your body as the liquor started to flow through him. He wanted you, he craved you, in a way he had never experienced before.
Love at first sight had always been a myth to you; something in books and movies. Fiction. Until you heard the words slip from his mouth. Love at first sight, soul mates. It was all impossible. But why couldn’t you stop thinking of him. Why did his state send shivers through your body? Why did it feel like you had been waiting for him your entire life, even though you just met?
“(Y/N)! It’s your turn!” You heard Danny yell, bringing you out of your thoughts once again.
“Uh... what’s going on again?” You murmured, the alcohol overcoming your brain as you tried to remember the dumb activity you were being forced to participate in.
“Alright, you might need to slow down on the drinks girl.” Callie laughed, pointing at the cup in your hand.
“I’m fine. Just lost my train of thought!”
“Tell us a surprising fact about yourself,” Matt chimed in, a flirtatious smile plastered across his face.
“Uh, right. Well... I have a really huge record collection. It’s kind of my hobby.” You shrugged, nodding your head slowly as the group around you seemed let down by the less than flashy secret.
“You’re kidding! I collect vinyls too. I have like a thousand,” Mattresponded, his eyes lighting up at the realization that he finally had a way to talk to you.
“You should show him your collection, (Y/N), it’s ridiculously impressive,” Callie said, nodding in excitement. Your heart stopped at her words, hoping that Matt would say ‘Another time!’ and you would forget about the entire interaction. But you knew he would take up any offer to be alone with you; and a part of you was hoping he would.
“I’d love to see it,” Matt said slowly, his voice now a serious tone as he waited nervously for your response.
“Uh... of course. Does anyone else want to see?” You asked, in one final last ditch effort to protect yourself from being alone with him. But the room had already moved on from you, and no one even heard you ask the question. You looked up at Matt, his perfect smile once again showing itself.
“Guess it’s just you and I, pretty girl.” He whispered to you, his hand on your shoulder. He leaned in as he spoke to you, as if to keep the nickname a secret. You looked around in hopes that someone noticed, someone would put a stop to it. But everyone had already moved on, started new conversations, brought themselves deeper into a state of inebriation. No one saw either of you, and you could easily slip away into the night with him. 
You stood up slowly, and motioned for Matt to follow you into your room. He eagerly followed behind, not a single soul in the room even realizing you were leaving. You felt your heart pounding in anticipation and nervousness, not knowing how the next few minutes would play out. You took a few deep breaths to control yourself before opening the door to your room and letting Matt follow.
“Open or closed?” He asked, his hand gripped on the door handle as he awaited your response.
“Closed. I don’t like people seeing my personal space,” you said, moving over to the shelves that held your vinyls. Matt nodded and closed the door lightly, following you over to your collection. 
You walked to the corner of your small, cluttered bedroom. Sat in the corner was multiple shelving units, all packed high and bending under the weight of your numerous records. Next to the shelves was a small desk, which your record player sat beautifully on top of. Your room was overwhelming to a stranger's eye, but every single thing in there had a purpose, to you. It was your sanctuary. And it wasn’t a place you regularly invited strangers. You barely ever let Callie or Danny in there. But seeing him stand there, gazing in fascination at your records, felt very comfortable. You knew that he would respect your space, and not question it. It was a nice feeling to be able to share something so private with someone. 
“Wow... this is amazing (Y/N)... you have fantastic taste in music,” he whispered, running his hands up and down the records.
“Thank you. Some of them I don’t really listen to, they’ve just been collected from garage sales and thrift stores over the years.” You watched him in awe, every feature glowing in the low light of your room. He smiled at certain titles, pulling things out delicately to look at the covers. He was beautiful, perfect. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him.
“Do you wanna smoke a blunt?” He asked, turning to you in excitement as he pulled out a bag of weed from his pocket.
“Of course. Just crack the window,” you responded, your eyes still locked on him.
“Perfect! Let’s listen to something, too. Do you mind rolling so I can pick something out?” He asked, handing you the plastic bag. Your hand touched his as you grabbed it from him, and you felt time freeze as your skin made contact. He was warm, soft, angelic in his touch. You wanted more, you craved more. But you let go, pulling yourself away.
You watched him pull out various records and contemplate what to put on as you carefully rolled a blunt to smoke. His face was focused and concentrated, and the furrow in his brow made you smile. You couldn’t help but smile around him. He finally pulled out an album you immediately recognized as (Y/F/A).
“How did you know?” You asked, watching him as he delicately took the record out and placed it on your player.
“What?” He giggled, biting his lip as he looked up at you.
“That's my favorite album.”
“You’re joking. It’s mine, too.” He looked up at you, your eyes once again meeting. You didn’t need to speak to know what was going through his mind. The two of you were both thinking the same thing. He broke the stare first to start playing the music, his hands gently placing the needle on the record.
The music began quietly, but filled the room around you. You lit up the blunt and began to smoke, a wave of happiness coming over you as you took in your surroundings. A beautiful boy, your favorite music, some fantastic weed. It was paradise. It was pure bliss.
You smoked the blunt in silence, both of you taking in the beauty of the music, no need for words. You watched him, his movements, enthralled by his every move. The light from the blunt lit up his face in an almost angelic way, making your heart race every time he took a puff. The more high you got, the more you wanted to touch him, feel him, kiss him, love him. Love at first sight, it’s bull shit, right? But what if it isn’t? What if it’s sitting right in front of you?
“Dance with me.” Matt said, standing up quickly and reaching out his hand.
“I... what?” You asked, giggling slightly at the man who was standing in front of you.
“Dance with me. You know you want to.” He raises his eyebrows at you, hand still stuck out waiting for you. You rolled your eyes, a small laugh escaping your lips as you grabbed his hand and stood up. He wrapped his other arm around your waist and pulled you close to him. The smell of smoke and mint immediately overtook you, the warmth of his body wrapping you in comfort. Being in his arms, it was the most calming feeling in the world. It was the best feeling in the world.
In that moment, nothing else mattered to you except being with him. You would do anything to hold on to that moment. You reached your hand up to his face and touched it gently, the softened of his skin flowing on your fingertips. You brushed the few stray wisps of hair away from his face before bringing your lips up to his.
There are many different types of kisses in the world. You first kiss, which is awkward and usually terrible. A sad kiss, one where you know it will be your last kiss for a while. A lustful kiss, where you can’t keep your hands off of each other and want nothing more than to rip clothes off. But this kiss... this was a kiss you had never experienced before. It was a kiss that filled your entire body; flooded you with light and calmness, made every bad thing you’ve ever felt disappear into thin air as your lips pressed against his. It was a kiss that you knew was saved especially between two people who were meant to be. A kiss between soul mates.
As your lips worked effortlessly with his, everything else in the world disappeared except for you and him. You melted into each other, two paints seamlessly coming together to create a beautiful piece of art. You never wanted to let go of him. You never would, if it was up to you. But you needed a second, a second to catch your breath, a second to ground yourself back to reality.
You pulled away from him, your hands still locked in his hair and his on your waist. “We should go back out there. We don’t want to look suspicious,” you whispered, suddenly remembering the circumstances that led you in here in the first place.
“Of course, that’s for the best. But I promise you this is not the end of us.” Matt kissed your cheek and winked flirtatiously before heading back out to your living room. You sat quietly for a moment, your heart racing and your breathing unsteady. In that moment, you knew that was it. That was the last first kiss of your life.
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falloutjay · 3 years
Note
Stan x worried reader where reader comforts Stan and tries to make him feel better. Never giving up on him and even having to be forced away from him, that's how worried she is. Stan sneaks into her house when her parents are out and thanks her for trying so hard and they cuddle 💕
First of your requests done! Im kinda happy how it turned out and I hope you enjoy it as well. Cant wait to get to the more detailed one, but that one will take a little while longer. 😚 
_____________________________________________
Stan Marsh x worried!Reader
You stare at him.
Your eyes scanning him up and down but never leaving him. Maybe you should pay attention to what is written on the board, but you honestly couldn’t care less. This stupid math bullshit didn’t matter anyway.
Nothing did.
All that mattered to you sat in between Kenny McCormick and Kyle Broflovski in the row in front of you. Stan Marsh, your boyfriend, and also the person that was constantly on your mind. But not in a good way, like you’d normally think of your boyfriend.
You worried a lot about him, and it made you insane that seemingly no one else did. Not even his super duper best friend forever Kyle.
Did no one see the sadness in his eyes? How his smile faded whenever he thought no one looked? Were they all blind?
You weren’t blind. You saw through his façade. And you were determined to make sure he will feel better, no matter what was bothering him.
 You stared at the message on your phone. “Where are you? I thought we wanted to hang out for a while before you go?”
A deep sigh escaped your lips. Hesitantly, you typed; “Sorry, family emergency. Can’t come.” And pressed send. It hurt you to just lie to your friends, but you had to. You could see Stan slacking at his beloved Football training, so it only confirmed your suspicion, that something was up.
He seemed unfocused, messing up throws, the ball slipping his hands or stumbling sometimes. His thoughts weren’t here at all.
You watched him play and sat through the whole training. It sure bored you, but it didn’t matter. He mattered. And that’s why you sat there for two hours. You didn’t even sit with some of the other people watching. Now you were waiting for Stan in the hallway, waiting for him to come out of the locker-room.
You saw Clyde and Craig come out, and they gave you a quick wave, smiling at you. You did the same, but your eyes were still glued to the door, waiting for a certain black haired.
When he finally came, he seemed surprised to see you. “Y/N, you’re still here? I thought you only stayed for training?” Stan questioned, that fake smile you hated so much resting on his face. “Nah, I wanted to spend time with you. That ain’t a crime, is it?” Stan shook his head and took your hand.
You two wandered through the school and finally got to the parking lot, where Stans small car stood. It was of course plastered with Tegridy Farm advertisement.
You were happy that Stan didn’t have to wear his 100%-Hemp-Shirt anymore. You hated that one so much.  
To your surprise, you spotted your parents car and your mother not too far away. “There you are!” She called out and you stood there frozen in place.
“Hello Stan!” She greeted your boyfriend when she came over and looked at you sternly.
“I send you a thousand messages and called you endlessly. Why didn’t you answer?”
“Phone was on mute, sorry.” You mumbled, genuinely embarrassed. 
“Doesn’t matter, it is fine, your Grandmas Birthday dinner is tonight, did you forget about it?”
This hit you like a ton of bricks. You really had forgotten it. You were so busy with worrying about Stan that you forgot your favorite Grandmas birthday. Your mother immediately could tell by your expression what was going on and let out a sigh. “Well, I’m just glad I had a hunch where you could be. Come on, we need to get home and get ready. We will be in Denver until Sunday.”
“But-” You wanted to protest.
You felt conflicted. You loved your grandma and those amazing food-tastic weekends in Denver. And yet there was Stan and your ever growing worry…
“I-…Can’t I stay here and skip one time? I wanna stay with Stan!”
Stan looked at you surprised. He knew how much you loved going to your Denver-Grandma. You always told him about the amazing food she makes and the money she secretly gives you.
“Hun, it’s okay, you can go. We can hangout next weekend.” He said, giving you a peck on the cheek. You shook your head.
“No. I don’t want to.”
“Y/N, come on, we don’t have time for this. We need to get home.” You mother said, taking your hand.
“But-”
“No but’s, come on now.” She sounded a little annoyed and you looked at Stan with a horrified expression.
“But I need to stay with Stan.”
“Y/N, you see him every day basically. You’re gonna go to Grandmas, whether you like it or not.” Stan simply gave you a smile, waving goodbye.
“I’ll text you when I can okay?” You called out, while your mother basically dragged you to the car.
“Don’t worry about it. I can wait!” Stan replied and went on his way to unlock his car.
 The TV was almost annoying at this point. What were you even watching? A quick glance told you, that Family Guy was on.
Cartman better not hear of this.
You turned around, laying on your stomach, hoping you would not die of boredom in a few minutes. Stan wasn’t replying to you, as he was helping his parents with something apparently. You came back from your Denver Grandma adventure just a few hours ago.
The weekend wasn’t bad at all, you actually had fun and a great time with some of your relatives. But yet Stan didn’t leave your mind and you were sure, some people could tell you weren’t happy.
And you turned again, now laying on your back again. You just keep turning every few seconds, waiting for something to happen, yet nothing did. All of a sudden, you hear a bang.
Confused, you turned your head and looked at the direction at the noise. It seemingly came from the window. You felt scared. You were home alone, your parents out for dinner and you were left alone. You watched too many horror movies and murder mystery shows for your own good and millions of possible scenarios began racing through your head.
Carefully and trembling, you scooted closer to the window and looked outside. There in the drizzle stood Stan, throwing small rocks at your window. You opened the window, still utterly confused.
Somewhat swiftly, Stan began climbing up to your window, using the growth support for your mothers’ roses. Once inside, he smiled widely at you.
“You do know you could have just rung the doorbell? My parents aren’t home.” You said while deadpanning.
“Oh. I didn’t know. I’m here now anyway, so who cares.” He laughed and hugged you tightly.
“Are you alright, Y/N?” Stan asked with genuine worry in his voice. “Me? I could ask you the same thing!” You exclaimed, waiving your hands around. “Why? I’m alright?” This just pissed you off.
“Seriously? I’m no fucking Kyle, Kenny, or Eric! I see that something is off. I see that something is going on inside you.” You poked his chest and continued your rant. “I’m not an idiot and care about you. For fucks sake. Sorry for cursing but you just won’t tell me what’s going on!”
You finished and took a deep breath, feeling relieved now that you spoke your mind. Stan was taken aback, holding his hands up in defense.
“Jeez, sorry for making you worry. I’m really alright. I was just bothered by some shit my idiot dad spoke about. He keeps talking stupid shit when he’s high with Towlie, shit like me having to take over the farm when I’m out of high school, so that he can become a “Weed-Grandpa”. That’s all, it’s nothing serious, I promise.”
Stan offered a hug to you and after a few seconds in which you thought about what he said, you went straight into his arms.
“You will tell me if there’s actually something going on, right?” “You will be the first one to know, babe. Thank you for caring so much about me.” You nodded, now feeling more relieved than ever.
“I’m sorry, for not telling you about the shit my dad said. I didn’t know it affected you this much.” A smile crept onto your face. “Please don’t actually tell me that shit your dad says when he’s high, I swear, he’s so weird sometimes.”
“Agreed.” Carefully, Stan navigated you to your bed and you two made yourself comfortable.
“For how long are you gonna stay?” You asked him, while you cuddled up to him. He pressed a sweet kiss onto your forehead and whispered:
“For as long as you need me.”
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marshaeb · 3 years
Text
P.S: I'm Mated With The Cursed Alpha!
Chapter Seven
Hey guy! Don’t forget to Like, Comment, Review, and Follow for more updates! My apologies in advance for all the grammatical errors. Book will be professionally edited when completed.
After all that had just transpired, I was expecting Mom to blow up on me as soon as we stepped through the door, but her behavior was quite different. She was quiet and calm as she sat at the cleared dining table, looking through a pile of paperwork.
My heart was in my gut... I didn’t know how to feel or what to say after all the mess I got us in. I stood there timidly, with my sore, wounded arm covered with blood, held up to my chest.
I was a total mess. You’d swear I’d been out scuffling with Chelsea and her clique the way that I looked. Bloody and drench from wetting it up and my hair was a tousled fro of fluff.
“Um, Mom...” I said quietly...almost too quietly.
She paused and gave me a hard stare.
“I-I just want to say I’m sorry Mom...” I sniffle. “I-I didn’t mean for things to happen the way it did tonight... He attacked me out of nowhere—
“Nah uh... Stop it right there!” She said sternly. “How many times have I told you, Joel? For once listen to me when I talk to you! All I wanted was to keep you away from danger... from allowing something like this to happen! Still, you disobeyed me and snuck out!”
“But, Mom I-I’m sorry... I-I could explain—
“What’s left to explain, dear?” She said. “Everything has already happened... though I hate to even think this way, but probably this was meant to be... probably this all explains the reason for your rebellious behavior... it was to led you to him.”
“No Mom... This is all coincidental... that’s it!” I said feeling my wound starting to burn. “That’s all it is.”
“Do you really think so?” She asked in a shaky voice. “I saw something you didn’t see...”
“Saw what mama?” I asked confusedly.
“That look in his eyes... The way he looked at you.” She said. “You don’t know how it feels yet... The first time you smell your mate... it hits you like the strongest substance there is... It drives you crazy! Almost like you’re losing your mind... Why did you think he did what he did and attack you...not wanting to let you go!”
My mind instantly went back to St. Pete’s. When he saw me from across the room. I just popped off and came at me full force.
“Mom...what can I do?” I begged her.
“What can you do?” She repeated with no hope in her voice. “Joel, there’s nothing you...or I can do right now...but to wait to see where your future lies on your eighteen birthday.”
“B-but Jackson!” I said feeling my whole world crumbling down around me. “What am I supposed to—
“Jackson has been sent on a three-month mission in the west...” She said, “and for one thing...thank heavens he’s not here, because things would have been even more disastrous if Alpha Darius found out that his potential mate has a boyfriend.”
I took in sharp deep breaths and embraced myself tightly. ’I don’t want Jackson to get hurt...” I mumbled.
“Then I suggest you do the safest thing there is...keep your mouth shut and don’t mention his name.” Mom said. “By the time he’s back from his mission, you will by then know who your potential mate will be.”
“But...but my birthday is in three months, Mom...what will I do then?” I asked. “The hospital is out of our territory...”
“I know...which is why I’m busy trying to set things up for your safety,” Mom said. “And that’s tripling security too.”
A look of confusion crossed my face.
“But... I am safe! I’m on our territory!” I said.
Mom stopped and gave me a dead stare. “You really don’t know who you’re messing with, do you?”
I swallowed deeply. The guy’s crazier than I thought.
“A powerful Alpha, who have been searching seven years for his mate... has finally found her by sheer luck.” Mom said. “Could you imagine how hungry he is for you? Do you think a hot-blooded, superior Alpha like him could resist his mate?”
I stood there quietly as reality began to settle in.
“I doubt it...” She continued. “I’ll exchange you from the hospital for a little while with Samantha at the preschool... It’s only for blocks away from our home and it’s properly guarded.”
“The Nursery?” I gasped. “Mom... I’m not a caretaker.”
“It’s either that or risk yourself being at the hospital.” She said. “I don’t think you understand what it is to be marked Joel... and it’s different from an Alpha. It’s like volts of uncontrollable pleasure, rushing through your body... like venom. When he claims you, a part of him lives inside you forever.”
I could hear the intensity in her voice... Just hearing her explain it made me tremble with fear.
“So...until then...we wait,” she said. “Now go and take a bath. I’ll call over a nurse to patch up your wound.”
She walked back over to her desk and continued to sort through her paperwork.
After reaching upstairs to my room, Talloc was nowhere to be found like always. She was out hunting.
The sounds of howls rippled through the dark forest, but it was chilling and wretched. It was the cursed Alpha’s, and I know he was somewhere in the dark eerie forest, watching me at this very moment.
~~~~~~~~
~Present Day~
About a week has passed and I’ve been staying indoors ever since. My wound was healing faster than I thought it would, but the soreness was still there.
Nobody knew about what had taken place that night. Mom made sure of that. But just being here, trapped indoors had me so paranoid. Overthinking about everything that has happened and the consequences that would happen to me if I slip up again.
I really miss having those privileges when I could move about and enjoy my freedom. Now that I’m thinking about it, I rather have Mom’s strict curfew any day than being locked up from Alpha Darius.
My mind kept going on Jackson... I wanted him here with me. To comfort me and tell me what I needed to hear. That I am his mate and this is all one big misunderstanding, but sadly, it wasn’t.
A few months from now, I might be Mated to a man I barely even know. It saddens me to even think Jackson and I wouldn’t be together like we hoped, but to a man overly possessive Alpha who attacked me and nearly capture me against my will.
And he won’t leave me alone. Ever since that dreadful night, he has been stalking me almost every night.
His huge black wolf is always there...in that same spot in the woods... watching my room. He’s driving me insane. It was as if he’s waiting for any moment for me to slip up.
This feeling is like being on death row... knowing a terrible fate awaits you.
Talloc suddenly flew into the window I left open for her, nearly scaring my trouble soul half to death.
“Talloc!” I gasped, holding my chest. “You scared me, girl.”
She rolled her neck and squawk back at me.
“Did you had fun hunting last night?” I said to her, trying to wipe off the drop of blood from her beak.
And as you guessed right, she wasn’t gonna just let me step up to her and clean her beak without being defensive. She pecked my finger softly, holding it in her mouth.
“Come on, Talloc...just because you older now doesn’t mean I-I can’t clean you up just a little,” I said, but it was hopeless.
My rebellious snowy owl flew off in one huge flap, dropping the stack of pictures and old letters out of the window.
“No!” I shouted, running over to the window as they scattered everywhere across the lawn. “Shit!”
I turn around to catch my breath.
“Urgh...Talloc! Damn that feisty bird!” I grunted. “My pictures...they all fell over! I have to get them before they all get ruined.”
I threw on my navy denim jacket and dashed to my room door, but then I suddenly remembered that it wasn’t safe...he could be out there.
Though I’m still safe on the territory,
I’m just beyond paranoid to even encounter him again, face to face. Plus mom had already warned me, for my own sake to keep my distance.
I can’t make a fool of myself again... and for Mom’s sake, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I embarrassed her even more than I already did.
A deep, anxious sigh left my lips as I thought about this situation I’m now faced with. All the memories I collected would be completely ruined if they’re exposed too long.
Deep down in my heart, I wanted to dash out there this instant and collect every last one of them, but my mind had me in fear. Reminding me that he could be out there, but can he really during the daytime?
Usually, he comes out during the evenings just to let me know he’s watching and waiting...and it pisses me off, but maybe...just maybe I might have a chance.
It won’t take long...
I breathed in sharply when I suddenly remembered that Jackson’s letter from back in the eleventh grade was in that stack! That was the time he officially asked me to be his girlfriend...and our pictures!
“I have to get them!” I breathed heavily, walking back in forth in my room. “I better get all of them now...before the wind blows them out of the territory. Then he’ll find those photos with us!”
I crept back over towards my window and slowly, but thoroughly surveyed the grounds for any sign of his black wolf or any of his minions. Surprisingly...there was no sign of him at all.
I was right... Maybe he really does pass through during the evenings. And there’s also those painful, silver Barb wires Mom has up to keep out any intruders. It looks safe enough and besides all my pictures are on the lawn.
“SHIT!” I exclaimed. “No, no, no, NO!”
One of them fell on the other side. Oh Moon goddess, why?!
I crunch down against the window post, breathing shakily. My nerves were taking over and I could feel my throat getting drier and drier by the second!
What the hell! Everything bad is happening to me lately and unfortunately, there is no way to run from it or avoid it. I literally hate my life now.
I held in my breath and slowly took another look out the window. Carefully I observed the proximity of the others to that one that was out of bounds.
My eyes glanced over across the forest once more. I used my sharp wolf senses to pick up if he was out there... Usually, the hairs on my arm would stand up if I sensed him...but it so happens that I didn’t feel anything. There is also no sign of him...so it should be safe!
It has to be! But I have to be cautious and as prompt as possible.
With every fear building up inside me, I pushed it aside, balling my hand into a tight fist, and ran downstairs as quickly as I can.
As soon as I step to the backdoor, my heart launched in my throat. It was now or never.
I turn the doorknob and haul my tail towards the scattered images and letters. My mind was so numb, I felt like falling out from the fear and anxiety if he caught me.
Almost done... Just the other four over there in the flower bed. I quickly ran over and collected them. All in accounted for, except that one. It was just a few inches on the other side.
I held the stack against my chest as I scan the rattling trees of the forest. It was so calm but daunting. If whatever, he might be out there.
I’d dread the day if it happens to be a personal picture of me and Jackson and he gets his hold on it before I do.
Shit! I can’t take this anymore! I have to get that now! I rest the others down and gradually inched my way over. As I reach the barbed wire fence, my supply of oxygen was growing thin. The amount of fear of cutting my windpipe was unbearable.
I licked my lips and lengthened my short arm slowly over. It was so close, but yet so far.
Just a flick of my nail, it scraped the tip. No matter how hard I try, it was useless. Until I started to lose my temper, unleashing my inner wolf as my nails lengthen into claws.
Finally, I latched onto it, but with all that concentration... I let my guard down. I should have known better!
His huge black wolf jumped out of nowhere and dashed over to snatch my hand..but once again, I lucky to pull back my hand right in time.
For a second I felt my heart stop and I swear I mess up myself.
He licked his huge tongue over his sharp teeth and stared down at me like a piece of meat. I tried to catch my breath as I look at the picture underneath his large paw.
What was he doing here? Doesn’t he have a pack to lead? Was he there all this time? Watching me...waiting for the right moment to strike. Mom was right, it’s really not safe for me at all.
I quickly dashed over, collecting the others, and ran back inside up to the room.
I closed my curtains from the outside. I just couldn’t bear it anymore...but what picture was that? There we’re words written behind it!
I sorted through the stack of pictures and letters. Jackson’s letter is here... Thank Goodness it wasn’t that!
As I continued to go through, all we’re present... except that one!
“Our one-year anniversary, Christmas Eve collage! SHIT!”
Read Chapter Eight (Click the link below)
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159potterhead · 3 years
Note
(this is reply to first ask)
I mean I get it she might have a fight with her sister or not liked her. But messing with food is not right. Yes it is courage to me. I wish I could do that. You make big sister instinct sound very much like mother instinct when child is in trouble. Yeah. We don't have lockers either. I hope you never to experience these kind of thing. It's better to stay in dark.
****
[This is for second one]
(don't tempt me I can do 10 pages coz this Dean Winchester hasn't been open about all these stuff)
WHERE WERE YOU ALL THIS TIME??? I could really use some therapy like this. YOU GET ME!!! Im gonna cry😭😭😭😭😭😭
Why haven't I told you this before??? It feels much better now, you're a saviour. Let me hide under the dining table so I can cry some more. If you hear someone weeping just ignore it.😭😭😭
Yeah. All those people in same room coz of that lecture and that was the time when he called me to read out the list.
YES!! EXACTLY?!!!! You understand me!!! That was my reaction too! Dude, I have every reason to avoid you!!! It was really brutal and he was standing just beside me, telling me to read louder and that he can't hear me. No matter how I hard I tried my voice was not gonna be audible till back and he was like I couldn't move on to the next word until everyone heard the previous one. Now, I know how people feel when Gordon Ramsay is standing on their head and yelling at them. He is very insane. And I was also suprised to find out he kept that list. By 3rd or 4th word I was about to cry idk if he noticed break in my voice or what, I was barely managing to hold it together I didn't wanna cry in front of all those people. Then he took the paper and was like go, so I went very fast. I hate to even think about that day. (I wouldn't have told anyone this but I'm anon so no one knows me and it feels better to share)
I don't think he gets about anxiety. Also, I've to talk to him to tell him and I've never talked to him besides answering what he asks or when there's some task I have to do. I also thought that coz I didn't went for few days so he must have realised. And my friends told me that they come looking for me one day idk why. I was very much relieved after he stopped all that crazy hide and seek. Now, you get it. That's why I'm so done with guys. Seriously, I would never do this to anyone if I was a guy.
None taken. My school was all rainbows and unicorns and I wasn't expecting college to a do or die situation. What I think is over here we have very disciplined school system and in college they just leave it up to students like do whatever pleases you that's why everything is so fucked up. Professors are in their own world they don't interfere between students, there's a huge gap between us. They will only help in studies related stuff. Over here, all the colleges have that third button rule and one of my friend who's in other college her seniors give them a dress code which they are supposed to follow. They once told them to wear yellow pants on every Monday, even the guys, so that is funny I think.
(I laughed real hard at that tag😂😂😂 this is a lovely song that I heard in how I met your mother. It's called la vie en Rose)
🎶hold me close and hold fast this spell you cast this is la vie en rose. When you kiss me heaven sighs and though I close my eyes I see la vie en rose🎶
I second that. then let’s unionize and become the warriors of today, running on mother instincts🤝 yeah I hope so too, i’m sorry you did got a taste though💔
*** (I won’t tempt you, but we both know that dean is the most repressed soab on this planet...)
SJDISKK I WAS HERE, WHERE WERE YOU??! i’ll always be available for some therapy talks babe, whenever you need it, hmu😚 noooo dont cryyyy😭😭😭
idk!!! but in your defense, we just met barely two months ago. althouh it feels like i’ve know you forever!! i’m glad you feel better now, my beloved<3 and nooo i’m not a saviour, I was just being a friend I suppose? yeah like i’m gonna hear you cry and just not care. i’ll be joining you with a fresh batch of warm cookies and a dvd player so we could watch lotr💖✨
LITERALLYYY!!! woah he really won’t stop, will he?? pls that gordon ramsay example-💀 oh how very noble of him to let you go, after what though!?😒😒 I don’t blame you for not wanting to recall that memory, just hearing about it sounds awful enough, I can’t imagine how it must’ve been for you. ( talking sometimes is relieving, and yeah being anon is helpful)
won’t be surprised. oooh, so he did realize the toll of his actions, huh? If only he was quicker to that realization. now I get it. seriously, I don’t blame you at all. thank god for girl, am I right?;) I don’t think anyone should do that to anyone periodt.
oh so it’s all cause they’ve given authorization to the students? wait ALL the colleges??? I thought it was only yours that has that stupid rule. a dress code? seriously?? ohhh so they’re doing it for fun? if everyone’s on board, and it’s fun for everyone, I guess that’s alright.
(😂😂👀 ooo another song from that show)
also did you see this post of mine?
🎶when you press me to your heart, I'm in a world apart where roses bloom. and when you speak angels sing from above, everyday words seem to turn into love songs🎶💕
0 notes
kingofattolia · 6 years
Text
a list of things about Star Wars: The Last Jedi
TLJ felt like watching two completely separate movies. .. .  one i deliriously LOVED and one i spit upon and shake its profane dust off my sandals
THE GOOD
“ive got an urgent message for General Hux” “YOUR REBELLION IS DOOMED” “yeah... im holding for General Hux”
it straight up took me a minute and a half of this scene to figure out this was actually the start of the movie. it felt like one of those pre-movie skits where it seems like a movie but then anthropomorphic M&Ms tell you to turn your cell phone off. was it just me or were there a LOT more comic moments in TLJ compared to almost every other star wars movie? anyway i loved it even tho it gave the movie a slight someone-made-this-while-high-on-LSD feel 
Leia USING THE FORCE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
R2 playing Luke the “you’re my only hope” recording of Leia, i almost died
FORCE SHENANIGANS. we saw more powerful, dramatic, and varied uses of the Force in TLJ than we have ever before seen in a live action media and i was L I V I N G
“you’ve closed yourself off from the Force”
Rey and Kylo’s foRCE BOND TALKING like this.. . . is so interesting .. .  and it wasn’t only Snoke doing it because they did it again after he’s dead...
Rey lifting 30 giant fricken boulders without even breaking a sweat after having one (1) single “training” session
Kylo remotely activating Anakins lightsaber
projecting himself........ across the entire galaxy. . ..
Yoda. in the former EU the Force ghosts had a non-negotiable expiration date a certain time after their deaths. Obi-Wan couldnt just come back and visit Luke forever, he faded away at some point. is this no longer true??? DOES THIS MEAN ANYONE CAN COME BACK IF THEY WANT??? why was yoda so physical even as a ghost that he could whack luke on the head
summoning lightning like alright this is a new Jedi power im adding to my arsenal
Leia’s mary poppins action
Luke vaulting across the cliff to stab fish
POE'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT he turned from a kamikaze into a leader who's able to see the big picture and walk away, im so proud
everyone..... messing with Hux...... i loved this
Snoke smacking him into the floor
Kylo smacking him into the wall
Kylo force choking him
slowly taking gun out. . . . . HES AWAKE ABORT ABORT... slowly putting gun back . . . Hux is going spend every waking moment wishing he took that shot
Finn's character arc, like what an awesome Slytherin. the contrast between him and the codebreaker 👌👌👌👌 & where he makes the choice REBEL scum 👌👌👌
LET'S GO, CHROME DOME
i cant believe Phasma died again lol. her backstory novel was SO DRAMATIC and she just dies over and over
when Kylo does that little skid out into the hallway to look for Rey
Chewy breaking down Luke's door
when Luke kisses Leia on the forehead . . . .
kylo KILLING SNOKE I AM LITERALLY SO HAPPY. I AM SO HAPPY. IM SO
this had to happen, it was so obvious but i didnt think they would actually do it, Snoke was so boring and useless, i am SO GLAD they didnt drag him out..... I AM SO HAPPY HES DEAD
it was truly awesome... i couldnt stop grinning it seeing it the 2nd time... "I CANNOT BE BETRAYED, I CANNOT BE BEATEN, I CAN SEE HIS MIND" & then he narrates the entire process of Kylo killing him i was LIVING. everyone theorized for so loooooong and so hard about what form Snoke's control over Kylo took and how it would be possible for him to break it,, , , and then he just DOES IT JUST LIKE THAT by SHEER MISDIRECTION FOLKS I AM SO ALIVE
THE TEAM UP FIGHT
i love lightsaber fights so much i would very nearly give up my critical integrity for a single awesome duel and this was,,, so awesome
when Rey drops her lightsaber to catch it again and cut that guys knees out from under him
when Snoke is cut in half and then the lightsaber rockets towards Kylo and Rey's hand SHOOTS INTO THE FRAME to catch it 👌👌👌
when Kylo takes on FOUR OF THEM AT ONCE
"THE SUPREME LEADER IS DEAD" "long live. . . the supreme leader .. "
not gonna lie, i am such a huge fan of supreme leader!Kylo. CAN HE EVEN LEAD ANYONE??? DOES HE HAVE THE CAPABILITY?? HONESTLY WHAT DOES HE WANT TO DO? WHAT WILL HIS SELF-DIRECTED MISSION BE? VADER NEVER GOT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ATTACK DOG, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING TO HAPPEN
I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA BUT IM SO HYPE TO FIND OUT
THIS IS BRAND NEW
"finn! rose! you're not dead! where's my droid"
the little slave kids from Canto Bight. did the kid at the end use the Force to pull his broom!??!
"that library did not contain anything the girl Rey does not already possess" Yoda thinks hes so funny. REY STOLE THE LIBRARY LMAO... thanks Rey... im glad someone around here has a brain...
the Falcon swooping in to draw off the TIEs on Crait
"OH, THEY HATE THAT SHIP"
Vice Admiral Holdo's lightspeed kamikaze. . . aside from the drama of the moment & making Hux look stupid, just visually it was awesome
absolutely every single thing said by either Hux or Kylo in Kylo's command shuttle above Crait
"i want every gun we have to fire on that man"
"blow that PIECE OF JUNK oUT OF THE SKY"
when kylo's like "concentrate all fire on the speeders" and then Hux immediately shrieks "CONCENTRATE ALL FIRE ON THE SPEEDERS" and Kylo looks at him like 🤔
"do you think you got him?"
when Luke faces Kylo
WHEN LUKE FACES KYLO
this scene makes the movie for me honestly. as of now im in a state of uneasy ceasefire with TLJ and the sequel trilogy as a whole. if the scene of Luke facing Kylo did not exist, TLJ would probably be dead to me
"did you come to SAVE MY SOUL" "no."
absolutely everything about Luke was so completely epic in this scene. even though he barely said anything, even the way he stood was epic. im not sure how Hamill did this but it was everything i ever wanted
"i failed you, Ben. I'm sorry." "i'm sURE YOU ARE"
the contrast between Kylo's fighting stance and Luke's
when Luke steps out from the massive cloud and duSTS OFF HIS SHOULDER
this fills me with so much pure glee i could literally ascend
"if you strike me down in anger, i'll always be with you. like your father."
the slow, dawning horror when Kylo starts realizing Luke's not actually there
"see you around, kid"
"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"
"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"
my favorite line in the WHOLE THING i could Scream
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH
"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"
when Rey slams the door in Kylo's face
THE BAD
Luke should have LIFTED HIS X WING OUT OF THE WATER WITH THE FORCE AT SOME POINT GOSH DARN. i knew from the moment we saw the submerged x wing that this moment was meant to happen.... but then it DIDN’T. like PLEASE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE THIS
the casino subplot. . .  it was awesome for Finns character development but couldn’t he have developed character over an actually materially relevant story arc.. . .
BB-8 didn’t fight Dark BB-8 like what the hell honestly
for what earthly reason does Kylo need to wear his pants up to his armpits. is he TRYING to look like a doofus
why wasn't Lando the master codebreaker. like quite frankly, give me one good reason. why. no. there are no good reasons. when is Lando going to come into it you cowards
honestly....... what the FRICK was that horrible backstory behind what caused Kylo to turn
WHAT THE FRICK
im trying to keep my cool but this is a huge, enormous, and vital problem i have with this movie and whoever came up with that should be shot
Luke, in a brief moment of insanity, ignited his lightsaber over his sleeping nephew's bed to assassinate him because of a vision
LUKE SKYWALKER the guy who wouldnt believe that DARTH VADER, ENSLAVER OF WORLDS, SLAUGHTERER OF CHILDREN, MASS MURDERER OF THOUSANDS, was a lost cause and who refused to kill him, TRIED TO KILL HIS APPRENTICE IN HIS SLEEP
like... do you see my problem?
character assassination. it is ludicrously greater-than-Anakin Skywalker levels of overreaction to a Force premonition that Luke would see a vision of darkness and instantly move to slice his sleeping, defenseless nephew in half, and even in Luke's version of the story Luke is legitimatly the bad guy. he brought about the future he was afraid of, just like Anakin
because of this background, every interpretation is blown wide open to reasonably see Kylo as the victim and Luke's actions as those of a villain. of course he had to defend himself? it's legitimately possible to construe the subsequent killing of the other students as self-defense as well. if they wake up to find Ben having "killed" Luke? anything could have happened, Kylo could honestly have done barely anything bad up to this point and have been driven to the dark side on that one night
it's going to take.... so much work.... to walk this back. obviously Kylo's a villain now, because of what he's chosen to do since then, but for Luke to come out of this not looking like trash, they would have to provide SO MUCH more backstory including the "dark" things Kylo had done to make Luke suspect him, and have him probably be actively seeking darkness while under Luke's tutelage. and then Luke still seems like a fool and a betrayor
maybe they WANT Luke to come off as a legitimately bad person? i've seen some interpretations of TLJ as tearing down "legends" by showing everyone as flawed people, teaching the lesson of not deifying people to Rey AND the audience as well. if thats true and they actually want me to believe Luke is not worth believing in, i'm sorry but i reject that
luke skywalker is not a bad person
rey said "you didnt fail Kylo, Kylo failed you" WHICH... its true that Kylo failed in all his actions after this. but if this is the unmitigated truth about what happened that day, Luke definitely failed Kylo, thats not really arguable
i spit this backstory out of my mouth and stomp on it
bye felicia
"the legacy of the jedi is failure and hypocrisy. at the height of their power they allowed darth sidious to come to power and wipe them out" ok true. "it was a jedi master who was responsible for the training and creation of darth vader" YOU TAKE THAT BACK
a related point..... Luke is a coward.
i'm not saying that the only kind of Luke i would accept is HEROIC LEGEND LUKE WHO BURSTS FORTH FROM HIS ISOLATION AND SINGLE HANDEDLY DEVASTATES THE FIRST ORDER. but at the same time, his isolation is NOT in any way comparable to Obi-Wan's. "i came here to die" ok buddy.
dying is all well and good, hiding from your failures, being broken for a while after taking a hit like that
what i am NOT able to forgive is how he abandoned Leia
???? the frick???
"so many losses, i can't take any more" "sure you can" STORY OF LEIA'S LIFE
"im from the resistance, your sister Leia sent me" boy when she says jump you better say "how high?" honestly YOU OWE IT AT LEAST TO YOUR GUILT TO DO THAT FOR HER
HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE? SHE'S ON HER OWN DEALING WITH EVERY PROBLEM IN THE WHOLE GALAXY AND HE'S DOING WHAT? YOU'RE TELLING ME LUKE WOULD HAVE ABANDONED HIS SISTER LIKE THAT??? AND WHEN SHE SPECIFICALLY ASKS FOR HIM HE SAYS "no frick u" ?!?!?
if that's Luke Skywalker then Luke Skywalker is a useless coward
that is not Luke Skywalker
honestly everything Rey said was spot on "Leia sent me here with hope. if she's wrong then she deserves to know why. we all do"
the overall thesis of the sequel trilogy seems to be "there's no point to any of this"
a powerful student turns to the dark side and destroys the Jedi Order. an authoritarian regime destroys the republic and takes over. a small band of resistance fighters rallies against great odds. a Force sensitive from a desert planet teaches herself the Force from old Jedi books after her teacher evaporates into the Force after teaching like 1 lesson. everyone Leia loves dies
guys... i'm tired
it's just exhausting. what is the point? in the sequel trilogy we've seen the republic destroyed, the resistance decimated and harried from place to place until theyre down to 12 people on the millennium falcom. there's only one movie left. they're going to come back from nothing and destroy the first order and then smile at each other in the ashes?
why?>??? what are they going to do? build a republic again? is rey going to build a new jedi order? we've seen how that worked out
there's nothing to believe in here. HOPE is such a strong theme in the sequel trilogy. "as long as there's light we've got a chance" "leia sent me here with hope" "the galaxy has lost its hope, the spark is out." "hope is like the sun, if you only believe in it when you can see it you'll never make it through the night." like good grief. constantly hammering on the need to have hope, but WHY?
what's the point of defeating the imperials, spending your life trying to build something good in the galaxy, trying to build a family, when you're only going to have to do it all again in your old age, when everyone you love is dead?
i cant see any hope if this is the ending for the OT characters, so i powerfully struggle to care about and cheer for Rey, Poe, and Finn. what's the point in anything they're doing? what's the point in the sacrifices they're making? it might turn out just exactly like it did for Luke, Leia, and Han, spending their old age in loneliness, sorrow, and violence
if this is the way history repeats itself, you probably should just make out like the stuttering codebreaker. "dont join"
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hundredsunny · 6 years
Note
yoo can u tell us who your ocs are and their story??
YES I WOULD LOVE THIS SO MUCH THIS IS THE BEST ASK I HAVE EVER RECEIVED !!!! im only gonna talk about like 4 of them bc im v attached to these 4 okokokokokokok here we go this answer bouta be long as hell 
april - ok this girl is my first oc. i made her in the middle of english class in 6th grade and shes been around ever since!!! tbh at this point idk if i want her to still be a straw hat or not but like??? anyways shes a rogue princess. she grew up just fine, but then one day her asshat dad killed her mom bc her mom was an “embarrassment of a ruler” and made their kingdom “look bad” anyways that happened when april was like 11. then once her dad took TOTAL control of the island he locked her tf away so she wouldnt be able to visit the citizens like she used to. so from 11 to 18 she was cooped up in the damn castle. when she was 16 she got her hands on a devil fruit that was locked away in some hidden room in her mother’s library (cliche i know im sorry) so then she ATE IT. THE AURA-AURA FRUIT. a v basic summary of that fruit is that she can manipulate her own aura and shit. imagine lucario from pokemon as a human honestly. idk. so when she ate the fruit she decided to fight her dad but of course she lost horribly and then she had to sit around in even more of a cooped up state for two more years until the STRAW HAT TEAM CAME ALONG ON ACCIDENT BAM SHE WAS ABLE TO LEAVE THE ISLAND BC OF THEM ok ok??? her whole story is complicated i tried to give the best watered down version im sorry. anyways shes v sweet and can be goofy but can be defensive as hell. she knows what she wants and will do anything to get that. yeehaw. shes an average height for a woman, she’s got shoulder-length brown hair and sky blue eyes. if u ever wanna know more bout her hmu
jack - OK MY 2ND OC EVER HE WAS MADE RIGHT AFTER APRIL AND HONESTLY HES MY FUCKING BABY. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!! anyways. he grew up on the same island april did. his dad was like the right hand man to april’s dad so like he had connections and shit. he had a v happy family. a sweet mom celest and a dope dad cain and a wonderful lil sis sho. when aprils mom was still alive, they would always visit the town so jack and april always hung out and went on adventures throughout the town together. when april’s mom died and her dad started locking her up more, they werent able to see each other much anymore. of course, jack being the rebellious son of a gun he was, he would always sneak around and find ways to still hang with her. jack’s 3 years older than her btw. anyways. one day out of NOWHERE jack’s dad just VANISHED from the island and it rly fucked him up. he was 14 when that happened. so then he had to take a step up and watch over his mom and sister. then april’s dad became even more of an asshat and more people started leaving the island, so jack’s mom and sis decided to leave. HOWEVER jack decided to stay so april wouldn’t be completely alone. that happened when he was 16. then he stayed on the down low and visited april as much as possible until he finally decided to leave and make a life for himself and also search for his family. he left when he was 18 and he promised april that shed be set free one day and theyd be able to meet up once again and have more adventures :’) anyways then he went on a search for his dad. turns out his dad left bc he was the leader of the LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS and had to tend to the duties over there. after YEARS jack finally found the LOA but his dad literally left AGAIN 3 months before he got there. that frustrated him. but then he decided to start a life in the league ((bc his dad lowkey taught him a whole lotta shit about that as a child but u kno)) and met CHAZ AND JO…anyways pause on the story. jack’s an uncooked piece of spaghetti. hes v tall and lanky. hes got messy black hair and red eyes. he deserves so much love ok. he needs a hug. covers up his problems with dumb humor. a little shit. v snarky. his weakness is overthinking. v good with daggers. his epithet after he becomes a wanted man is (lame) jack “the slicer” solo ok. hes 23 after the timeskip. yes. i could talk about him forever. pls lemme know if u wanna know more about him AHHHHHHHH ps april and jack are my favorite brotp and i wish someone was the jack to my april 
chaz - oh charles. dont call him charles he’ll kill a bitch. idk what it is about me and having my oc’s be of higher class but like chaz came from a family of nobles and Fucking Hated It (big shocker huh) so long story short he RAN away and started a life as a pirate but he was betrayed Too Many Times and ended up hating pirates. nerd. anyways. one day he ran into this guy named cain. jack’s dad. cain was like “yo u got somewhere to stay?” and chaz was like “lol no”. so then cain took chaz in and introduced him to the LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS and basically trained chaz for years and then VANISHED. chaz was SO FUCKING HURT!!!! but cain left him as the leader of the organization so chaz was also v shook. he got RLY defensive when jack stumbled along. he felt threatened that jack was gonna snatch his leader spot all bc he was cain’s son. tbh chaz was a dick to jack for a good bit of time. cain was the best kind of father figure chaz ever had and he just??? ah chaz also needs a hug. anyways eventually he and jack became nerd bros. they argue all the damn time. think of zoro and sanji but dumber. thats these two. chaz fights with whips (kinky) ((jk)) and hes a fuckin BEAST with them. run. they call him the dawn menace bc he mostly makes his move at that time of day. CHAZ THE DAWN MENACE. ok lame. but yea. hes 26 after the timeskip. hes a nerd. takes things seriously. easily stressed. chaz had a horrible event happen to him in the past so he lost one of his green eyes and (theres a whole other story about that where cain does a Good Thing but im tryna save time and space rn) his weakness is his right side bc he literally cannot see. hes a hothead sometimes. also a redhead. makes sense. hes got some good biceps tbh. strong dude. love him
jo - AYYY JOSEPHINE!!! her story isnt entirely developed tbh. she’s part of the league of assassins. literally the smartest damn person in the entire world. SO SMART. literally shes the reason why the league is still thriving. she knows everything about everyone. ALSO SHES SUCH AN INCREDIBLE SHARPSHOOTER. USOPP WHO? v v v v v good with guns. honestly. shes 25 after the time skip but honestly shes a mom to chaz and jack. always breaking up their dumb arguments. so kind. can be snarky. purple eyes and long blue hair that she wears in low pigtails all the time. she was around when chaz first joined the league so they’ve been good buds for a hot minute. she’s 2nd in command now!!!!! she needs a break so bad. oh my god. works so damn hard. i honestly feel like im forgetting a lot of things about her im sorry im rushing rn but!!!!! honestly jack chaz and jo are my fave dream team. they’re all fucking nerds. i love them. tbh on the sims 4 i made a household with the three of them in it and it was wild. 
codie - lil cordelia. redhead. amber eyes. V STUBBORN. serious as shit. will kill someone. she has a zoan fruit and the model is an albatross so since shes a redhead she just fuckin. turns into a red albatross. they call her the red feather bc 1) literally red and 2) the blood of her enemies sometimes stain her feathers. ooooo spooky. her story is fuckin insane. all im gonna tell u is that she’s just with the whitebeard pirates. 20 after the timeskip. sassiest gal i know. fuckin constantly flamed ace even though ace was the flame guy. bird bros with marco!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!! anyways. thats all i got rn im sorry!!!! thank u for asking and please feel free to ask me more questions if u ever wanna know about some of these kids o mine!!!!! 
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bangtan-spells · 7 years
Text
Seokjin Scenario: Waiting On Your Love - Pt. 2
Request: Hi hi hi hi, im so happy youre opening requests!! Could you do a second part of Waiting on your love? First angst when jin (not wanting to) denies his love for the kid and reader hears it? But a fluff ending, thank you 
Genre: Fluff / Family
Part 1
The apprehension you felt in your chest couldn’t be named, you simply couldn’t describe it neither you wanted to believe what you just heard. You stepped away quickly without wanting to be noticed. There was a soft joyful music sounding in the place, light chatter and laughter was filling Jin’s apartment, you and some of his closest friends had gathered there to celebrate his birthday but now the only thing you wanted to do was to get away, to leave, to forget about what you’d heard your boyfriend saying while you passed by one of the rooms.
Maybe you shouldn’t have gone to look for him, would he admit what he’d said if he knew you were listening? You didn’t mean to eavesdrop but with the mention of your son’s name, you couldn’t help it, you had stayed outside of the guest’s bedroom where Jin had gone to fetch whatever he was needing but he was taking too long and then you heard his conversation with one of his friends, it kept repeating in your head while you walked fast back to the living room, you could still hear him say that no, of course not he didn’t like Sanghyun.
You took a deep breath, he’d sounded so sure and serious, did it mean that the Seokjin who’d been with you for almost a year and a half had been outright lying to your face? Faking to care for your son in front of you? It made you feel enraged just to think that he could have been using your son just to get close to you, it made you feel stupid and unease because you’d been so sure of him, that the eyes with which Jin looked at Sanghyun weren’t faked, that he truly cared for your baby boy and for you as well, it didn’t make sense and it was making your head throb.
– Sorry the delay dear, I didn’t remember where I had stored the extra wine–  Jin’s voice made you jump in the spot and you forced a smile on your lips.
– Oh don’t worry…– you cleared your throat and noticed the way Jin was eyeing you up so you averted your eyes and tried to look composed, but there was so little you could fake in front of him, he could always read you like a book.
– Is something wrong Y/N? –
– Just Sanghyun…–  With those words Seokjin placed away the wine and took your hands.
– Is he alright? Did something happen to him? Should we go to your house? –  his tone and demeanor changed drastically, he looked like he cared and you’d never doubted it before that moment. It felt so wrong.
You eased your hands away from his and denied with your head, moving to pick up your purse. –He’s alright, is just that the nanny has an emergency and has to leave early, so I have to go home, I’m sorry–
– Oh…–  Jin nodded. –Do you want me to go with you? I’ll just tell everyone that I’m…–
– No need to–  you interrupted him, if Jin went home with you he would find out the lie, and what you needed was a bit of time away from him and cooling your head. –I don’t want to ruin your day-
– You would be ruining nothing babe, just give me a second and I’ll thank everyone from coming – he was ready to go and do what he’d said but you held him in place by the arm.
– Jin – he looked at you attentive and you were tempted to ask about what you’d heard, but you decided to bite your tongue for the night. –I’ll be alright on my own, stay here, there’s no need for you to go with me, I’ll take care of my son-
The last part had sounded more serious than you intended but it seemed to do it because Seokjin nodded after a torturous silence. –Ok, it won’t be the same without you… keep me updated at least? –
You nodded without looking at his eyes and he accompanied you outside like he always did because that was just how Seokjin was, always proper, always a gentleman, always kind. He kissed you goodbye and waited for you to turn on the car and leave to get back inside but you couldn’t make it further than two blocks and parked on the side to take a deep breath, holding back the tears stinging in your eyes.
You’d never been in this type of situation before, Seokjin was the first man you actually had a proper relationship with after Sanghyun was born and you loved him, you were clear about your feelings, but you loved your son and you couldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t care for him, that was out of discussion.
The first tear made it past your left eye and you wiped it away furiously, you didn’t want to choose between them, Seokjin was important to you, Sanghyun was important to you, you didn’t want to be in this position even if you already knew the side you were always going to choose; when you had Sanghyun you swore you were always going to do what was best for him and you weren’t planning on breaking that promise.
 –Is this one alright Sanghyun? – Jin asked Sanghyun who was trying to decide between two shades of blue for his new masterpiece. Jin was showing him the darkest one but Sanghyun decided on the lightest after a satisfied giggle.
It wasn’t a secret that he enjoyed being with Sanghyun and he has always been open about it, all the free time at the daycare he focused mostly on Sanghyun, and your son had opened so much to him. Jin suspected something was going on with you, something that you weren’t telling him and he’d tried to find out what but you were closing on yourself, he sighed, now that his relationship with Sanghyun was at its best, you started to change, he needed to find out what was wrong, it was a shame your son couldn’t help him with that.
He focused again on Sanghyun, he was sure Sanghyun was going to be a great artist someday, the little boy liked art way too much and his paintings had improved a lot. Sanghyun was taller, smarter and livelier, his third birthday was right around the corner and Jin wanted to make something special for him.
–Sanghyunie? – he called his attention softly, Sanghyun looked at him for a brief minute before turning his eyes back to the painting.
–Jin, what? – Seokjin laughed while looking at Sanghyun swirling his fingers along the page.
–Is going to be your birthday soon – Sanghyun giggled and nodded, aware of that fact. –what would you like to have for your birthday Sanghyunie? –
–Vanilla cake –
–You’ll have cake for sure, but I mean a gift, what would you like to get? –
Sanghyun looked pensive for a moment and then fixed his wide eyes on Jin. –I want Jjanggu – Sanghyun moved closer to Jin and poked his hand. –Can I have Jjanggu? my gift–
Jin laughed loudly and sat Sanghyun on top of his legs, the little boy liked Jjanggu a lot, and his dog liked Sanghyun too, whenever they were together they spent way too many time running and playing around.
–We can share Jjanggu then –
That stole a smile from Sanghyun’s lips and then he hugged Jin tightly. Seokjin patted Sanghyun’s head and hugged him back, it was sometimes insane to think of how much he cared for Sanghyun, how much he loved that little boy or how special he was. Jin just liked to see him happy, to see him smile in that same way you did.
That day he closed the day care and decided to wait for you with Sanghyun at the cafe down the street, he sent you a message because you were most probably still working and left because Saghyun was hungry.
    You’d driven so fast you were amazed you didn’t have a car crash on your way to the cafe. You hadn’t noticed how late it actually was until you received Jin’s message, caught with work as you were. This wasn’t the first time Seokjin didn’t wait for you at the day care and instead went to the cafe with Sanghyun, but after what you’d heard you didn’t know how to feel about leaving Sanghyun alone with Jin, an you knew you needed to be an adult about this and face him for what he’d said, talk with him about his intentions. You rushed through the cafe doors and immediately spotted your son, he was giggling at something on his plate
–Sanghyun I’m here, are you alright? – you passed right by Jin’s side and straight to your son, holding his chubby face to inspect him.
–Yes mom – he nodded and smiled. –Sanghyunie was hungry so Jin buy me food–
Behind you Seokjin laughed. –You get quite the temper when you’re hungry, don’t you Hyunie? –
Your son smiled and you noticed the way you’d entered and outright ignored Jin was noticed by him, he was smiling at your son but he was also looking at you differently, he stood up and placed his hands inside his pockets.
–We will share Jjanggu forever mommy! – your son clapped excited. –It’s my gift! –
–That’s… that’s great love, but we have to go now alright? – Sanghyun nodded and you helped him down his seat, you noticed what he’d  been laughing of, it was a silly drawing with ketchup on his plate, most likely made by Jin, but you ignored it and started to put Sanghyun’s jacket on him, feeling Seokjin’s attentive eyes at your back.
–Did you think I wasn’t going to take care of him? – Jin asked discretely when you were going to your car, you were sure he’d noticed your tension back then. You finished seating Sanghyun at the back and then closed his door to face Jin.
–Who knows, were you taking proper care of him? – you didn’t want to feel so defensive, but you couldn’t help it.
Jin stayed silent, something was definitely wrong, you hadn’t spared a look to him when you entered the cafe, you were tense and nervous and hurrying Sanghyun away from him. He decided to not say anything there, you were after all in the middle of a parking lot and Sanghyun was sitting at the back of your car, he wasn’t deaf and Jin felt that maybe you needed to talk this through without Sanghyun hearing, whatever this was.
He accompanied you home, it was a silent ride besides Sanghyun’s happy chatter about Jjanggu and his upcoming birthday and you kept the same attitude form before, which only served to make him feel worse, he didn’t know what he’d done for you to act like he was some kind of stranger messing up with Sanghyhun’s bed time.
–Can Jin give me good night mom? – your son asked when he was all bundled up on his bed, with his sleepy voice and little hand rubbing his eyes. Jin had done so a couple times before so he smiled lightly with Sanghyun’s request because he liked to be part of it.
–Of course angel – you said softly and kissed your son’s cheek before standing up and letting Jin come closer.
He sat on the edge of Sanghyun’s bed and the little boy smiled at him. –Good night champion, I’ll see you tomorrow alright? – he held his fist for Sanghyun to press his little fist against his and it earned a laugh from the boy.
–alright… good night Jin – he then crawled out of the sheets and enveloped Jin’s neck with his little arms. Seokjin smiled and kissed Sanghyun’s head to place him back again on the sheets and the little boy was knocked out asleep in a matter of seconds. He observed him for a few minutes until you came closer to turn off the lights.
–You don’t have to fake interest for my son – you said after closing the door of Sanghyun’s bedroom. Jin looked at you surprised by your comment and you crossed your arms. –So stop doing it if you don’t feel it before it’s too late because you’ll end up hurting him and I won’t forgive you that–
–Y/N why are you saying that? – Jin frowned. –I’ve never faked interest for Sanghyun–
–That’s a lie! – you said bitterly, coming closer to not raise your voice. –I could never expect it from you, playing the little family with me without thinking about the consequences–
–What? – you were going way too fast and Jin saw the hurt in your expression.
–I heard you myself, saying how you didn’t like my son at your party so don’t pretend now that you are in front of me, I heard you admitting it –
Jin instantly froze, remembering the night of his birthday party and trying to spot the exact moment you were speaking of, when did he say such thing? You were clearly mad, but more than that, you were hurt, he could see it in your eyes, in the way you lip trembled and your hands fisted. He approached you and ignored the way you stepped away because he wasn’t letting a silly misunderstanding get between what you had, so he took your hand.
–That’s not like it Y/N, what you heard… it’s not the entire thing – he caressed the back of your hand gingerly, looking at your eyes. – Come with me, let’s not talk this here –
–Why not? – you asked, but still you followed him when he tugged lightly at your arm and made his way to your bedroom. –We don’t need to go anywhere else Jin, I…–
–Just listen to me ok? Please, just listen– you fell silent with his request and he took the chance to organize his thoughts, this wasn’t the way or the moment he wanted to tell you this, but now there was no other way in which he could clarify things with you. –What you heard that night, is not only that, is true that I said that I didn’t like Sanghyun but not in the way you think–
Jin took a deep breath, you were looking at him waiting for him to continue and he felt a sudden wash of nerves taking over him, but then he smiled.
–I never intended to play the little family with you as you said Y/N, this has never been a play for me– he took both of your hands this time, he needed to hold onto something. – I was saying that to my friend because, well, I needed a call of reality and he was helping me with it–
–What do you mean? – this time it was you the one squeezing back his hands, looking at him confused.
–Y/N, I’ve been considering selling my apartment so we can live together, buy a bigger and better place for Sanghyun to grow with us and marry you, that’s what I want–
–You what? – you laughed softly, the nervous laugh that you used as default when something surprised you so Jin laughed too.
–Look, I said what I said because my friend asked me what was I waiting for, he asked if I liked Sanghyun and I said I didn’t because only saying that I like him doesn’t quite explain the extent of how I care for your son Y/N, I adore that boy, I love him as if he was mine and I love you too, so only saying that I like you both will always be an understatement, don’t you think? – Jin smiled at you, it felt nice to say out loud what he’d been thinking to himself, the prospect of a life with you seemed much better if you were there. –I want this life with you Y/N, with both of you, I want to wish good night to Sanghyun every night if I can, and I want to wake up next to you, I believe there’s not a thing I’ve wanted more and I don’t want to keep waiting to have all this, I don’t need to wait anymore, I’m sure of what I want–
You looked at Jin speechless, your heart was rushing inside your chest and you wanted to pinch yourself or something, you’d been thinking that he didn’t care for your son at all when Jin was actually thinking about a future with both of you.
–You aren’t saying anything… – Seokjin laughed nervously, he was getting redder by the second in that cute way you liked and you noticed that indeed, you’d stayed silent for far too long. –Don’t you want the same baby? –
–Do I want the same? – you laughed, still not believing the turn everything was taking and pulled Jin closer so you could hide your face on his chest while nodding. –Of course I do Jin, I want all of that too… I can’t believe everything I’d been thinking, oh my god…–
You laughed but felt your eyes filling with tears, Seokjin enveloped you with his arms and kissed the top of your head gingerly.
–Then what are we waiting for? – you could hear the happy tone of his voice and feel that warmness of his body that you loved. He pulled your face up to peck your lips, smiling against yours, and moving to peck your damp cheeks.
You were about to answer that you didn’t know when you heard soft steps coming down the hallway, and then Sanghyun appeared at your door with glassy eyes, saying he had a scary dream. You wondered how you could think so low of Jin and his love for your son when in less than a heartbeat, he was picking up Sanghyun on his arms to calm him down and reassure him, telling him that he was there and nothing bad was going to happen to him.
You followed Jin while he carried your son back to bed, feeling lucky and happy for having such special people in your life, for being able to keep things as they were, tender, steady and real. You held Jin’s hand while you kissed Sanghyun good night for the second time and promised that you were going to spend the next day together, the next day and all the rest.
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ylla · 7 years
Text
Friday Night Gurus - Chapter 1
Series: JJBA Ships: josuyasu (others will eventually happen too, but im tagging as i go) Tags: au where theyre famous, modern au, pining, josuke is a hot mess and has exactly 0 chill Rating: T (for this chapter only, bc eventually there will be sex/smoking the devil’s lettuce)
AO3 link
reeeeee so i’ve been in and out of the doctor’s office with a sinus infection so intense, i’ve been to the ER due to pain. fun shit. i came up with this AU while listening to music while waiting for someone to come smother me with a pillow to put me out of my misery.
this unbeta’d because i wrote this on my phone while waiting. i plan on keeping up with this idea because it delights me. next chapter will follow shortly too, because i’m trying to break this up into smaller chunks as i hammer it out on my phone (which fucking sucks, lemme tell ya). if you notice anything weird, tell me about it so i can fix it!!
The first time Josuke Higashikata meets Okuyasu Nijimura was because of a fuckup in a magazine photo shoot schedule. The shoot in question was for a feature in Rolling Stone; award season was coming soon and they wanted to feature the current Biggest Names in Music. Some poor intern (who was probably promptly fired) fucked up EVERYONE’S schedule, so all the bands and singers had to come in during the same hellish week in June. It was a nightmare for all involved.
Of course, the cover would feature the biggest name in the industry which, naturally, was Josuke. Discovered at sixteen, with two world tours, four albums (two of which went platinum), and at least 20 different awards, he was twenty-four and still going. His latest album dropped too late for Grammy consideration last year, but he was feeling real confident. This was his year. He’ll get that fucking Grammy, even if he killed him.
Josuke still considered himself to be a chill, down-to-earth kind of man despite his superstardom; able to roll with the punches whenever they came. He got that sometimes things just didn’t go your way, but he still couldn’t help it when his precious time off gets thwarted by some dumb idiot.
“What the fuck, Koichi?” Josuke whined on their way to the shoot, “Why couldn’t have this happened literally like, last week?”
Koichi Hirose was his manager, agent, PR guy, and truth be told, the only person beside his mother and grandfather who truly knew him. “Stop whining, it’s not the end of the world.”
“Dude, this was supposed to be my first week off in forever—“
For someone who was 5’3 and weighed 110lbs soaking wet, Koichi could be intimidating. He gave Josuke a look before parking and turning off the car, “Can’t be helped. They wanted to do the cover shoot last since there’s two of them.”
Josuke made a face. He forgot that this would be a dual cover. Him on one side, some band on the other. “Who’s the other band?”
Like he was still in school, Koichi started rattling off some facts, “Arrowhead, they’re a metal band. Comprised of four members. Skyrocketed up the charts this past year with their second album. You guys fought over #1 album and singles on Billboard on and off all year.” Koichi was the type of guy who always did his homework, “Now come on, you’re gonna be late.”
The shoot was operating in some random ass warehouse in some backassward part of Los Angles. Josuke and Koichi waltz into some giant room that was getting set up; a group of 4 people huddled in a corner eating what appeared to be a large quantity of Taco Bell with a sharp dressed man standing near them. Josuke’s kind of people.
“Oi! Tonio!” Koichi called out with a wave, before gesturing at Josuke to follow him over. Josuke barely restrained an eyeroll; his hair was up in a ponytail and he was wearing some worn-out sweats with an old t-shirt, not exactly looking good for first introductions.
“Koichi,” the finely dressed man shook Koichi’s outstretched hand, “good to see you.”
“Josuke, this is Tonio Trussardi, we work at the same agency.” Koichi gestured at Tonio, “And Tonio, this is Josuke Higashikata.”
Josuke held out his hand and got a firm handshake, “Nice to meet you.”
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Tonio’s eyes sparkled. He let go of Josuke’s hand and gestured to the group of people sitting behind him, “These are my charges, Arrowhead.”
He started with introductions, pointing to a man leaned up against the wall, who had sleepy eyes and a face Josuke would find attractive if it wasn’t for the tattoo on his chin, “Yuuya Fungami, drummer.” Yuuya nodded in greeting. Tonio pointed to a pretty girl with long black hair who was intently staring at Koichi, “Yukako Yamagishi, lead guitarist.” She didn’t even acknowledge Josuke, but held out a hand for Koichi to shake (which he did, if a little hesitant due to her staring). He swept a hand towards a man with impressively tall hair and two braids, “Keicho Nijimura, bassist.” Keicho gave them a cold stare and said nothing. “And last, but not least,” Tonio clapped his hand on a scarred man who had been too busy slamming a taco the entire time and didn’t notice people had walked up, “Okuyasu Nijimura, lead singer and rhythm guitarist.”
Okuyasu jumped a little, before turning a little pink and waving, “Sup?” His voice sounded he had came out of the womb smoking like a freight train.
Josuke was taken aback when he got a good look at the guy. The symmetrical scars running parallel on Okuyasu’s face did nothing to detract from how goddamn hot he was. Square jaw, angular face, black and silver hair pulled up into a ponytail, three piercings in each ear, ripped arms that had tattoos snaking up them, good God almighty. The first thought that entered Josuke’s mind when looking Okuyasu in the face was Oh no, he’s hot. The first words out of his mouth were “Those tacos smell so fuckin’ good.” Real smooth.
Without another word, Okuyasu offered him one. Josuke ignored how the blonde guy glared at him, and took the proffered taco, “Thanks dude.”
“S’no prob.”
As Josuke started chowing down, about to start chatting up the cute guy, when Okuyasu unceremoniously got up and walked away. Trying not to look so bitter, Josuke turned towards Koichi, but Yukako was asking him incredibly personal questions about his life, while Tonio started ushering Yuuya to hair and makeup, “Photographer’s not here yet, but you need to be ready since you’re the first up.”
“Yeah yeah, stop pushing.”
Keicho’s cold stare was unwavering and was starting to give Josuke the heebie jeebies, “Oi, Koichi. I’m gonna have a smoke.” Josuke didn’t bother to listen for Koichi’s stammered reproach before heading outside (which might have been a strangled cry for help). Truth be told, he really didn’t need a cigarette, he just kind of wanted to go pout. But luck would have it, when he went outside, Okuyasu was sitting on the curb with earbuds in, watching some video. Nosy as shit, Josuke hovered over his shoulder to see what he watching, “Are you watching Real Housewives of Atlanta??”
Okuyasu nearly jumped out of his skin, phone fumbling in his hand, “Oh shit!” he whipped around, wearing glasses he didn’t have on earlier, unlit cigarette dangling from his lips, “Uh, I can explain.”
Oh no, he’s so fuckin’ cute Josuke hollered inwardly. He held his hands up in defense, “Sorry man, didn’t mean to scare ya.” Pulling out his own pack of cigarettes, he sat down beside him on the curb, “Don’t gotta explain anything to me, I love trashy reality shows.”
“You ain’t makin’ fun of me, are ya?” Okuyasu asked, scowling.
“What? Nah, reality shows are the shit. I love binge watching them.” Josuke fished around in his pocket, “You got a lighter?”
As if Okuyasu was trying to divine if Josuke was lying, he stared at him for a few seconds before handing over his lighter, “Jus’ asking. Keicho gives me shit for watching them, but they’re hilarious.”
Josuke lit his cigarette, “Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life.” Inhale. He gave Okuyasu a serious look, speaking on the exhale and handing his lighter back, “Fuck what he thinks.”
Okuyasu was quiet while he lit up and took a drag. For a moment, Josuke was worried that he had already overstepped his boundaries with someone he literally just met. God, no wonder he didn’t have any friends.
He was snapped out of mentally kicking his own ass when Okuyasu spoke, holding up his right earbud, “Wanna watch with me?”
“Hell yes I do, which episode are you on?”
“The one where Ridickulous shows up—“
“THAT’S MY FAVORITE ONE—“
“DUDE, MINE TOO.”
They ended up talking while watching, not really paying much attention to the show until Ridickulous showed up, which was met with raucous laughter. Josuke learned that Keicho was Okuyasu’s older brother, that the only thing better than chocolate or strawberry ice cream was strawberry ice cream with chocolate chunks, he smoked his cigarettes like he did his joints, he smelled insanely good, most of his tattoos didn’t have much more meaning than “They looked cool as shit when my dude drew them”, and that Okuyasu Nijimura was the most genuine person he had ever met. He was sweet, eager to please, loud, and friendly. Josuke was already dangerously enamored.
Josuke hadn’t even been aware of how much time passed until Koichi came out, “They’re looking for you guys. Keicho’s almost done, so you both need to go to hair and makeup.” Yukako hovered in behind Koichi, her eye’s sliding between Okuyasu and Josuke with a blank expression on her face.
“Shit, I hadn’t even realized,” Josuke stood up and held a hand out to help Okuyasu up, “Let’s go before we get murdered.”
With a grin, Okuyasu took his hand and hopped up, “Yeah, god forbid we disappear for a minute.”
It was hilarious watching Okuyasu, who had never had makeup put on him in all his life, grimace as his face was caked. “This shit smells weird.”
Josuke couldn’t help but cackle while he did his own hair, “Get used to it, dude. This is your life now.”
Makeup finished, Okuyasu got started on his own hair, “Josuke, the least surprisin’ thing you could ever tell me about yourself is the fact that you don’t let anyone else do your hair.” He was fighting with stubborn strands that didn’t want to stay still, “The pomp is cool, you pull it off.”
A quick glance in the mirror told Josuke that he managed to keep his blush to a minimum, “Thanks dude, you got some slick style there yourself.” The shy, pleased grin that crossed Okuyasu’s face was an image he wanted branded to the inside of his eyelids.
Okuyasu was up for pictures first, looking anxious and green. It was clear to Josuke that he had no idea what he was doing. “Dude, just relax!” he shouted, “You’re looking fine!” What he didn’t say was that he meant that two ways. With a slight nod, Okuyasu relaxed slightly, and his pictures started coming out better. Josuke was trying to go for the somewhat disinterested watching, but damn, he couldn’t help but stare. This dude was cute. Out of the corner of his eye, Josuke caught Keicho staring at him again. What was that guy’s deal??
He couldn’t ruminate on an answer, because as soon as he thought that, Yuuya suddenly sat down beside him, causing Josuke to yelp in a totally manly way, “Jesus! You scared the shit out of me!”
“Sorry dude,” Yuuya was eating a leftover taco, “Busy watchin’ the show?” He tilted his head toward the photographer fussing at Okuyasu, shit-eating grin on his face.
Josuke did not like that smug look Yuuya was sporting, “He looks nervous. Jus’ tryin’ to help him out.”
“That’s just how he is,” without looking over his shoulder, Yuuya tossed the taco wrapper behind him, hitting a trashcan, “He doesn’t know how to chill out.”
They sat in silence few a couple of minutes before the eyes Josuke felt on his back were getting on his last goddamned nerve, “Why is that guy staring at me like I murdered everyone he’s ever cared about?”
Yuuya eyed Keicho for a second before shrugging, “That’s just how he is too.”
Before Josuke could even ask what the fuck that even meant, Keicho punched Yuuya’s shoulder as he walked by, “Come on, asshole. It’s time for the cover.”
“Ow, that fuckin’ hurt, dickhead.” Taking his time, Yuuya stood up and stretched, rubbing his punched shoulder. “By the way, Okuyasu’s single,” Yuuya said casually, as if he was answering a question that had been posed.
Josuke sputtered, his face scarlet, “WHAT MAKES YOU THINK—“
Yuuya pointed at his nose, “I got a nose for romance,” and then he dead ass winked at Josuke before walking away. Josuke wondered if he was that obvious. Perhaps that explains why big bro Keicho stared daggers at him. Maybe he needed to work on being subtle, but Higashikata’s were never, ever subtle (thanks mom).
The cover shoot didn’t take too long, much to Josuke’s surpise. Not a whole lot of time passed before it was Josuke’s turn. Okuyasu was dragging his feet, watching intently, while Keicho was demanding they leave. Tonio, bless him, told them that he needed to speak to Koichi about business matters before they left (mercifully saving him from Yukako’s question of “What do you look for in a woman?”) Josuke didn’t know if Tonio was picking up on something, or just making assumptions, but he appreciated it.
When the pictures were mercifully done, Josuke ran to the bathroom real quick to reorient himself, muttering under his breath, “Okay, Higashikata. You got this. You’re cool, suave, and undeniably handsome.” Josuke applied a quick coat of lip gloss before heading back out there, “Get that cute guy’s number.”
After leaving the bathroom, Josuke was greeted to an almost empty room. Okuyasu was nowhere to be found. In fact no one associated with Arrowhead was there; Keicho had muscled them out of the door as soon as Josuke left the room, Koichi helpfully explained, patting Josuke’s shoulder as he felt his confidence leak out of him like a sad balloon.
Josuke pouted the whole way home, and Koichi couldn’t tempt him out of a foul mood. “Josuke, what’s the problem??” Koichi asked, finally fed up with his huffing and sighing, “Why are you like this?”
“Koichi, I’m gay,” Josuke said, head leaned against the window.
“I know this, you’ve told me before. What does that have to do with you sighing like a moody teenager?”
“I was gonna ask Okuyasu for his number, but they left before I could.” He felt like a fucking fool, why did he have to run to the bathroom like a scared baby? It was taking a lot of effort to not punch his own face in. “That Yuuya guy told me he was single and everything. Was I that obvious??”
As they sat at a stoplight, Koichi patted his shoulder, tactfully choosing to not answer the last question, “Don’t sweat it, Hollywood is small. You’ll run into him again.” Actually, Koichi could easily get Okuyasu’s number, but he knew better than to offer. It would only hurt Josuke’s pride.
Josuke shrugged and changed the subject, deciding to throw a pity party for himself later, “So about that Yukako chick…”
Koichi grimaced, “She followed me around the whole time. Asked me how I got such a high powered client when we’re the same age! And a bunch of personal stuff like my underwear size and what kind of man did I consider myself to be.”
“At least she’s cute?” Josuke offered, an apologetic smile on his face.
“She is that…also intense. Very…intense…”
“Did you get her number?”
Koichi sighed as he pulled into Josuke’s driveway, “She took my phone, put her number in it, and then texted herself.”
“Damn,” Josuke snorted with mirth, “Hey man, you might end up getting laid before my dry spell ends. I’m rooting for ya.”
Josuke didn’t need to look at Koichi to know that he was getting a look. He hopped out of the car and waved goodbye as his friend pulled out of the driveway. Upon walking through the front door, he greeted an empty house. “I’m home!” he called out to no one. Josuke really wished his mom hadn’t moved back east, but after his grandfather had that heart attack and refused to move to Los Angeles, someone had to stay with him. He could use advice, and was tempted to call her. No, he was grown ass man. No advice from mom, you die like a man.
…He’ll just call her later.
One shower and ordered pizza later, Josuke laid on his bed, booted up both his laptop and PS4. It was time for Netflix and Learning As Much About Your Crush As Possible. With Netflix on Worst Cook’s in America, pizza in one hand, and beer in the other, he typed in Arrowhead into Google and got to work.
Two hours later, he laid on his bed, hands folded across his chest, and stared at his ceiling, Netflix and pizza forgotten. Arrowhead’s second, self-titled album had been on repeat for the last hour. Metal was never his cup of tea, but Okuyasu’s husky, rough voice made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and chills run down his spine. If he didn’t have it bad for Okuyasu before, he certainly fucking did now. Josuke briefly wondered if this is how he sounded when he woke up in the morning, or when he was needy and wanted—
Josuke promptly rolled over and started screaming into his pillow. Why was he like this?
You’re a fucking mess he thought to himself, You have it bad for a dude who you barely even know, just because the way he sings goes directly to your dick.
“He’s also really hot and nice,” Josuke mumbled aloud. He paused before tearing out of bed, determined to shower, do anything that would get his mind off of Okuyasu. “I also need to stop talking to myself!” he said, ripping his clothes off, jumping into lukewarm water.
After a long, somewhat cold shower, Josuke steeled himself. He was gonna get that fucking number.
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