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thelilylav · 26 days

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Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

#ok i'm stopping here bc i'm a little scared that tumblr is gonna crash on me soon #but u guys get the point #if anyone wants an extension of this list w more genres i would be happy to provide btw #this felt so chaotic to make but it was rlly fun to go through my spotify and actually check the artists i listen to #idk sometimes u just have to remind yourself that you do in fact have good music sometimes lol #music #kendrick lamar #tyler the creator #kali uchis #samara joy #music recs #was contractually obligated to make this after seeing how white some ppl's playlists r apparently #and like guys... you've got no excuse if my white ass can find time to appreciate music #plus these artists r all amazing on their own anyway so check them out regardless #also i'm so sorry to my moots for not shutting up abt music lately #apparently i had a lot of feelings abt it that i have not been getting of my chest so #i'll be back to posting the norm soon (although what even is the norm for me lol)

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911bts · 2 years

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Countdown to Season 6: 11 Mondays Left!

-> Oliver on filming Bobby's breakdown in 1x04

#911 fox #911edit #oliver stark #peter krause #bts fun fact #countdown to season 6 #s1 #1x04 #(i hope this coloring doesn't look horrible 😅)#also sorry this is late i was at a concert yesterday and didn't get a chance to prep it #commentary gif sets

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geezmarty · 7 months

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I lovelovelove your durge so much! Its one of my favorite character designs I've seen from the Fandom 😭😭😭🤌🤌 i saw a chart u had where it showed their relationship to the other companions but I noticed 2 were missing. I know minthara and halsin can't be gotten together ( unless u jank it ) but what would your durge think about them??

thank u!!

I'm still immensely sad I had to off Minthara in Brigha's playthrough, I had them chat for a bit before fighting her and they didn't exactly start on the right foot (Brigha's a half drow and Minth had a derisive comment about it lmao) but the little I know about Minthara they both come from a similar place, I think it would've been a beautiful enemies to friends. alas, maybe in a future playthrough

I did recruit Halsin and the thing about it is, Brigha's been on the path to be as good a person as she can possibly be. She is trying very hard. But Halsin is the mellowest person she's ever met and she get bored very easily around him so she actively avoids him lest he invites her to a 4am catch and release fishing session. or something. the dynamic is really funny tho

#bg3 brigha #also fun fact I couldn't figure out how to save the shadowlands in my playthrough so halsin had to stay behind lmao #I know how to do it now but it was too late at that point. sorry man. enjoy the forest that murders you (salute)#ask

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superbellsubways · 9 months

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Do you still think about your Not Evil Tartar AU sometimes? Loved that one

I didn't forget about it! I wasn't sure how many people would've been interested in that concept considering its been done so many times hdnsjdj.. and also other fixations got in the way so I haven't rlly done anything with it, but perhaps I'll draw more.. i had ideas for it i thought up a year ago that i never got to

I would also like to change up it's design a lil..

#fun fact grizz was going to be involved in this au before his Big Reveal happened #basically like. tar would get in contact with grizz somehow and help him construct the grizzco weapons in secret #i dont remember if i mentioned it? but he works for sheldon #this au is rlly self indulgent i just wanna draw this guy interacting with other characters outside of OE ones for fun #commander tartar #gijinka #doodle #this au doesnt have a name. im just gonna call it #Not Evil AU #since thats literally what it is #sorry this was answered late i did notice when u sent it i just got distracted by direct news LOL

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mayordoi · 2 months

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wwaaaah. new overdramatic oc art guys auugh

#mayor doidles #mayors ocs #asc xane #the mommy issues are nuclear here thats all i wanna indulge #digital art #cell shaded #anyway this quite literally came to me in a dream #ive been writing more of my oc story lately and like all of my symbols involving my ocs #i sorta tripped over one involving space and stars and how it relates to my oc grieving over lost loved ones #i know thats vague but sorry im just being a little cringe rn #so i wanted to make a compliment to my underwater piece which was done in a similar style #fun fact this uses the same color palette as my robin jojolion redraw hehe #oc #ocart #original character #art #artists on tumblr

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rtgame-fun-facts · 1 year

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RTGame Fun Fact #6

RT may or may not be a vampire, although this really isn’t a secret

#6 #rtgame #rtgamecrowd #rtgame daniel #rt game #rtgame crowd #rtumblr #rtgame fun facts #again super sorry this one was late i’ve been having eye problems lately

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averlym · 8 months

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whshdfhfjf.,,,

#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur #look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly #because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to #ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts #anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately #a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle #lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix #fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material #mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent #a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort #and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one #here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try #like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still #they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1 #of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but #thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where #you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the #competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even #even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's #'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h #her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll #eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's #it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe #adamandi

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neolxzr · 5 months

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my opinion that alola is the best region should not be uncommon. theres funky aliens, the professor is hot, the evil lady is hot, theres a funny little round owl, theres an emo boy, what more could u want. theres even communism

#cryn rambles #alola is just perfect im sorry it just is #whenever people ask like 'if you could live in a fictional universe where would you live' like pokemon EASY choice #theres funny animals that want to be your friend and theres cartoon physics so getting blasted with flamethrowers is just like midly painfu #im moving to alola and adopting a bounsweet #fun fact i shiny hunted bounsweet in swsh #and i got one! shes a lovely tsareena now and shes named after mallow <3 #anyways im rambling im just thinking about pokemon lately #autism hungry feed it the same special interest youve had since you were 8 #pkmn tag

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liquidstar · 2 months

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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arolesbianism · 7 months

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Some concepts for the siblings

#keese draws #rain world #rain world survivor #rain world monk #just impulsive slug cat practice mostly but I also have been wanting to draw them #I wanna try my hand at making fun designs for some of the others so I needed to get my baseline first #I wanna go for more rodent vibes than cat but not too much so #I also wanna draw some of my other slugcat biology hcs but no promises I’ve been going thru it lately #oh yeah and I do imagine most slugcats as completely hairless so no fluffy arti sorry y’all #she does get the closest to having actual teeth of all of them tho so that’s a win for her #well ok all slugcats kind of have teeth but they’re more like small spines that line the front of their mouths #they don’t chew on food tho the teeth are for tearing bits of food off of things #carnivorous slugcats have bigger spines that more so resemble teeth but only in the sense that they’re much larger and easier to see #they also very much hurt more although usefulness in combat is often limited #as getting a good enough grip on a moving target ain’t easy #in fact these big ol teeth are more meant to be used for trapping prey while they like beat them to death or smth #but with larger prey becoming most carnivorous scugs main food source they don’t get used that way as often anymore #in my minds eye way way back slugcats used to be egg predators but as more and more dangerous predators started being common they adapted #a much more omnivorous diet with most of their protein coming from bugs #and hey now they eat bug eggs full circle Babey

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mothgoop · 12 days

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HAPPY (sort of late) BIRTHDAY @keiitopop !!

#allergies have been making me sick for like a week and im finally getting over it now; so ive mostly been sleeping lately #so sorry this is like a little late; but as soon as i remembered i started on this #also fun fact this is sorta a redraw of the birthday art i did in 2022 #saturn.art #oc: pm

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chimerahyperfix · 18 days

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I love writing characters I love getting into their minds. How they work. How they think, their actions their words. I love reading through the lines and being able to make them move how I want them to, how to twist the ways they work. Putting tiny parts of yourself in a character, even if you aren't trying to, is just part of writing

#anyways. claude got my non-verbal gene. sorry girly #this was a regular ass post just. sitting in the depths of my drafts #dug it back up because how much ive been doing it lately #fun fact i have 700+ drafts (stretches of time where i dont reblog i just Put In Drafts)#200+ of then are isat posts LMAOOOOO #chimera rambles

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the-cookie-of-doom · 4 months

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Pregnant Kim anon here again, please know that after I sent that I decided to “warm up” by outlining an entire fic and didn’t get any novel writing done lol. I would love a snippet full of ANGST because I think Kim deserves it right now for what he’s done to my brain

asdfjhagsdjfh VALID! ALL OF THAT IS VALID!

Here is your angst, my darling. I realized I actually don't have a ton of the pregnancy itself written yet, so here's a little bit (lol. it's over 1k, I got carried away) that happens soon after the birth. Kim has horrible post-partum depression thanks to everything that happens in this fic. TW for graphic description of depression and implied suicidal ideation

Chay entered the bedroom to find Kim beneath the covers still, at nearly three in the afternoon. Curled up on his side, tears steadily leaking from the corner of his eye every time he blinked, making a wet spot on the pillow beneath his cheek. He wasn’t even really crying. His eyes were just wet, and that wetness was dripping, and Kim had long since given up on trying to stop it.

Chay didn’t ask, are you okay? Because he already knew what the answer would be. Instead he climbed onto the bed and spooned up behind Kim, and asked him, “What are you thinking about?”

“It’s not real.”

“What isn’t?”

“This. The depression. All of it. It feels real. It feels awful. But it isn’t. It’s just hormones and chemicals. It’s not me.” Kim didn’t sniffle, or sob, or sigh. His voice didn’t change from the even, monotonous quality it always had when he was trying not to feel. He just breathed. Closed his eyes against a fresh wave of tears, not that it did anything to halt their fall. “I thought once it was over, everything would be okay. I would be free. But it’s never going to stop, is it? There’s no normal for me to go back to. Just this.”

“P’Kim—” Chay’s voice cracked. He swallowed back what sounded like the beginnings of a sob and buried his face in the back of Kim’s neck. Weeks of exposure to Kim’s moods hasn’t made them any easy to handle, not least of all because he knew there’s nothing for him to do. He couldn’t take away this pain. “Please don’t talk like that. It is going to be okay. This isn’t forever. The doctor said it would take at least a month for your medicine to start working—it has to build up in your system, remember? Then everything will be okay.”

Kim didn’t say that the antidepressants only made him feel worse. Blunted him. Blurred any scrap of goodness he could cling too, until it was part of the same empty haze as everything else. He didn’t say that there was no drug strong enough to mask the bone-deep repulsion he felt every time he cradled his daughter to his breast to nurse. Nothing that could make him forget her conception when the pain of her birth was a constant reminder. He didn’t say anything at all.

Chay squeezed his arm around Kim’s middle, between his aching, swollen breasts, and his aching, swollen incision. Squeezed tight enough that it should have hurt if Kim were capable of feeling anything at all.

“You’re scaring me, P’Kim,” Chay whispered, holding Kim so tight he could hardly breathe. That was alright. He didn’t need to breathe.

“I love you, Chay. Thank you for staying with me. I… I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. Or that I did, I shouldn’t have—right before—” Before he nearly died. He shouldn’t have said it then. In what he thought were his last moments, he needed Chay to know. But it was selfish to let those be his last words to the boy.

“Thank you for telling me. I’m glad you did. And I love you, too, P’Kim, so much. You are so, so loved, and someday soon, all of this is going to be better, okay? You just have to hold on until then.” Chay’s voice turned near-manic as it fully dawned on him just what he was bargaining for. “Promise me, Kim. Promise me you won’t leave again.”

“I promise.” A mechanical admission in that dull voice, but no less true. Kim found Chay’s hand where it was pressed over his beating heart and laced their fingers together.

Kim knew Chay would no doubt tell their brothers about his alarming mood, and they would no doubt take him back to the doctor. He knew about the lists Chay had printed out and hidden away in his desk, spread across three pages and outlining the symptoms of baby blues, postpartum depression, and psychosis, with little checked boxes to track him. He’d filled out nearly half the page for depression before ever leaving the hospital.

Kim wondered how many ticks he got on the last page before they took him away for good. Before they took his daughter away. Maybe they should; she would no doubt be better off without him. He hadn’t even wanted to keep her. Had nearly bled out moments after meeting her. Maybe it was a sign he wasn’t meant to have her at all.

“Make sure Kiah’s taken care of,” Kim said softly, his face half-buried in the pillows. “I can’t—I’m not good for her. If I can’t take care of her, you’ll find someone who will, won’t you?” Kim went through too much to bring her into this world, he wouldn’t let her suffer for his own unwillingness to give her up, if that’s what it took to offer a better life.

Behind him, Chay swallowed thickly.

“Of course, P’Kim. I’ll make sure she’s always safe and loved.”

The weight that’s been hung around Kim’s shoulders since he made the decision to bring Kiah home finally lifted, a relief he didn’t know he needed. He sighed and sank back into Chay’s warm embrace, the tension finally melting out of his body, and squeezed the hand still lying over his heart.

“You’re safe and loved, too,” Chay said. “You have me, and Porsche, and your brothers, and P’Pol, and P’Arm, and P’Big. We’re all going to make sure both of you are safe and loved and taken care of. I won’t leave you alone again, P’Kim. Not ever.”

Kim didn’t doubt it. He never had. All this time, Chay’s love—the love of his family—has been an unwavering presence, cutting through the misery that’s cloaked him these last nine months. Kim didn’t know how to express that to Chay. That there was nothing to worry about. Kim wouldn’t hurt himself, with or without their constant supervision. He didn’t want to. He was only acknowledging the unrelenting misery he felt every waking moment, and accepting that it would likely follow him for the rest of his life. He didn’t prefer it, but he knew it was inevitable that these feelings would continue to be his constant companions.

However he may feel, Kim knew he owed it to his daughter to be the best father he could be for her. And if his best wasn’t good enough, he would find someone that could give her what she deserved. Even still, Kim appreciated the reassurance. Appreciated Chay, for the way the younger boy has stayed at his side for so long, seen him through so much horror and heartbreak, and would show that appreciation however he could. Even if the most he could do was hold his hand and promise not to leave.

#cookie writes #kimchay #dystocia #trans kim having the worlds WORST time in this fic #sorry sweetheart #also lol fun fact #i wrote this when i was in the middle of my own late night depression spiral #this is practically a diary entry #definitely helps with the realism when you Aggressively Project

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teddybearsims · 3 months

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oc questionnaire !!

tagged by @raiiny-bay ♡

NAME: August Milan NICKNAME: nothing, other than being called sweetheart or honey or some other sickly sweet thing by Bear :3 (I haven't figured out his streamer @ yet which could be considered a nickname too!) GENDER: male, he/him STAR SIGN: scorpio HEIGHT: 6’0 ORIENTATION: bisexual NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: san myshuno native, idk what this would make his ethnicity in sims logic, but ig he's some sort of European mix? FAVORITE FRUIT: honeydew FAVORITE SEASON: summer FAVORITE FLOWER: roses!! Bear bought him a (small) bouquet of roses on their first date and it's been his fave since. FAVORITE SCENT: Bear. Straight up. Anytime. After a shower, after a run, ANYTHING. He wants to bottle and inhale Bear at all hours. COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: iced coffee! AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: around 8-12. Depends if he was out at a club late. Mostly wakes up on time to do his livestreams, and falls back into bed when he can, but he can't fall asleep ALONE so his hours revolve around Bear a lot too! DOGS OR CATS: cats ig.. but he doesn’t really ever want a pet. DREAM TRIP: Simply spending months in Sulani just relaxing in the sun with Bear at his side <3 He'd also love to take Bear around with him during Fashion Week but Bear does not have the energy for it :p NUMBER OF BLANKETS: one big fluffy duvet RANDOM FACT: he was an oopsie baby.. his parents never planned for him, & he has no siblings!

I tag: @machinegrl @dandylion240 @yuauaua @bubblepopsims @mobwhim & anyone else who would like to do this!! ♡♡

#ts4 #tag game #sim: august #so sorry this took me forever #hes MY oopsie baby actually..#extra fun fact the base of his sim was made from a couple I played with when I installed sims again in late 2023 !! he was their first kid!#I have a pic of them in my drafts but it'll never see the light of day .. ill have to re-make his parents at some point tho #so hes got that top-notch toddler trait #and lore wise I kept it bc I imagine he was raised lovingly by his au pair and DID excel in his studies with the best tutors and whatnot #he just grew to care less about school and he's got the money to live comfortably #esp now that hes a popular streamer #ive missed taking pics of him but their penthouse is sooo not ready yet #its so EMPTYYY #considering just moving them to an apartment instead so I have less space to work with

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