#sorry if this is poorly worded and doesn't make any sense

[les4elliewilliams]

bound by love // ex-girlfriend!ellie

☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆

daily click・palestine masterpost・do not buy any game from naughty dog, neil druckmann is a zionist.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

wc/warnings: 5.6k ; strap-on sex (r!receiving), tribbing, oral (r!receiving), cheating, use of names like whore, slut, baby etc. and toxic relationship. do NOT read if you're sensitive about this kind of stuff!! do not romanticize toxic relationships and run far away from toxic people.

a/n: also first time writing smut so please be kind😭. not proofread so i'm sorry if you find any mistakes

pairing: toxic!ellie, ex-girlfriend!ellie also stalker!ellie???(just ellie stalking your social media and location) and jealous!ellie ig.

☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆

I know that you're shitty and you're bad for me

But I can't stop thinking 'bout it

✩ You used to console yourself by saying that the problem was not you but her. You believed that she was the one who caused all the issues in the relationship. However, as time passed, you started to realize that the situation was more complex than you initially thought. You began to question your own actions and words and wondered if you could have done things differently. You tried to stay positive by reminding yourself that sometimes things don't work out, and it's okay to move on. But you couldn't move on.

✩ Despite all your efforts to move on and forget about her, you always found yourself drawn back to her for some weird reason. You tried everything you could think of to let her go — you blocked her on every platform you could, hoping it would help you move on, but it never seemed to work. No matter how hard you tried to forget her, you always ended up unblocking her, usually within an hour of blocking her. It was as if you were powerless to resist the pull she had on you, no matter how much you wanted to be free of her.

✩ You were the one who broke up with her, claiming she was too toxic for you. However, you cannot deny that you also had your fair share of faults. Both of you were aware of the toxicity in your relationship, but still, it lasted for three whole years. You often wonder how you were able to tolerate her for so long. She always seemed to go out of her way to provoke you and get a reaction out of you. She would intentionally make you jealous, making nasty comments about other women's bodies to make you insecure and maybe even cry. She loved it when you got possessive and jealous; that was the only way she felt cared for and loved. She constantly needed reassurance, and her overthinking would stop only when you got possessive of her or extremely jealous; it didn't make sense, and she knew it wasn't normal, yet she couldn't help herself. But it wasn't only that. She was also extremely manipulative and a liar. It was a never-ending cycle of negativity, and both of you were caught up in it.

✩ If she was a toxic girlfriend, imagine how toxic she was once you two were broken up. When you broke up with her, you thought you were better off as friends, but soon enough, you started to realize how wrong you were.

✩ Even though she treated you poorly throughout your relationship, you always returned to her. Your love for her was strong, and it seemed as though returning to her was the only thing that felt right. Even though she was responsible for causing you a significant amount of emotional pain, she still felt like home to you — like the person who you could always run to whenever you needed it. She always knew the right thing to say to calm you down, cheer you up, and sometimes even make you cry. That was the thing about Ellie that confused you the most; She could be either the best person ever or the worst.

✩ When something big goes down in your life, she's the one you call up first. It doesn't matter if it's something totally dumb or something that seriously ticks you off, she's the one you rely on for comfort and support, and she's always there to baby you.

"S'okay baby— mhm, you got this," whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you rambled about your day "Want me to beat them up for you? You know I would," and she wasn't kidding, sending whoever made you mad to the ER without you even knowing it. You have always been someone who disliked violence. In fact, you were never the kind of person who would resort to violence, no matter how heated a situation may have been. You've always been the rational one between the two of you, thinking things through before acting. On the other hand, she was more impulsive, acting without much thought or consideration for the consequences of her actions. Anyway, you would find out what Ellie did to your coworker when he showed up with a cast around his arm, threatening to take legal action against her. You always found yourself in the middle of the conflict, pleading with your coworker not to sue Ellie and trying to smooth things over.

✩ Lots of

"you're the hottest girl i've ever dated" "i would take you back in a heartbeat" "i still have a soft spot for you" "best pussy i've ever had"

✩ She'd randomly show up at your place in the middle of the night, pounding on your door, little did you know she'd be pounding into you the second you let her in

"nfuckk— my pussy…s'all mine" Murmuring nonsense into the crook of your neck as she fucked your tight little hole with the new strap she desperately wanted to show you (which became your favorite for obvious reasons). "think anyone else can make you feel like this, hm?" and she wouldn't let you cum if you didn't reply, she wanted to hear you say that you belonged to her and her only.

✩ She constantly checked your social media accounts like a fucking maniac, fearing that you may have moved on or started spending time with other girls. This behavior was not healthy, and she was aware of it. Despite that, she couldn't help herself and even had access to your location, which she used to stalk you whenever you didn't respond to her messages or calls quickly enough. On two separate occasions, she unexpectedly showed up while you were on dates with other girls. At first, you brushed it off as a coincidence, but after the second time, you realized that she still had your location and that her sudden appearance was not coincidental at all. Therefore, you turned off the location sharing. and in no time she was blowing up your phone with texts

"why the fuck would you turn it off?" "moving on already?" "where the fuck do you even think you're going?" "try all you want, but you know who you belong to"

✩ It became increasingly clear that you and her were not meant to be friends. You still belonged to her in her mind — and perhaps it wasn't just in her mind. Deep down, you knew that she was right even though you were no longer together.

✩ Although you had repeatedly told Ellie that you wouldn't get back together, she remained convinced that you would eventually return. Instead of giving up, she actively pursued ways to reconnect with you. She would often surprise you by showing up at your apartment with a bouquet of your favorite flowers or things she knew you would like.

"Ellie, what're you doin' here?" you asked as you saw your ex-girlfriend holding a lovely bouquet of flowers in her hand. You were taken aback as you looked at the bouquet  — it was a Hello Kitty bouquet. You had mentioned this type of bouquet to Ellie before you broke up, and you were surprised that she even listened to you when you kept rambling about how cute it was. You had seen it on Pinterest before and never thought she would remember. Her green eyes met yours, and she scratched the back of her neck before flashing a warm smile your way. She knew you'd love it.  "Hi, angel," she said. She handed you the bouquet and planted a soft kiss on your cheek. Her free hand quickly found its way to your waist. She leaned back enough to gauge your reaction and asked with a cocky smile, "What d'you think?" The sudden appearance of Ellie took you aback, but you couldn't help but admire the bouquet in your hands. The Hello Kitty plushie and the colorful flowers were so cute. You didn't expect her to remember your love for this particular bouquet, but you were grateful that she did. "May I come in?" Her tone was confident, and her eyes shone with a mischievous glint. You couldn't help but wonder what she was up to, but you stepped aside to let her in nonetheless.

✩ She would listen intently to everything you said during your relationship and make mental notes of all the things you wanted or needed. However, she never acted on them until you broke up with her. Suddenly, she would start getting you those things, being the girlfriend you always wanted her to be, trying to convince you to give her another chance. But you weren't stupid; you knew that as soon as you let her back into your life, she would go back to her usual self, and her toxic behavior would come out once again.

✩ She showered you with compliments, gifts, and attention, making you feel like you were the only person in the world that mattered to her. When she realized that her love bombing wasn't working on you, she changed her tactics. She began dating a girl she had always insisted was "just a friend," even though you had always felt insecure about her because you thought she was prettier than you. But Ellie was using this girl only to get to you. She wanted to make you jealous and make you feel like you were missing out on something she could provide. She hoped you would come back to her, begging for another chance. You were devastated and couldn't help but compare yourself to this other girl, wondering what Ellie saw in Dina that she didn't see in you. But as time passed, you began to realize that Ellie was playing games. She didn't care about this girl, or about anyone else for that matter. To her, you were the one that got away, the one that she couldn't have. And so she used this other girl as a pawn in her game, hoping to win you back. But you didn't fall for it.

✩ She just went ahead and started posting pictures with her new girlfriend on Instagram to make sure you saw them and felt like shit. And, well, it worked like a charm. Even though you knew she was doing it on purpose to upset you, it still hurt like hell because she never posted pictures of the two of you together on social media, claiming she preferred to keep things private but as soon as she started dating her new girlfriend, she suddenly started posting about her non-stop, which made you feel even more hurt and insecure.

✩ You realized that cutting ties with Ellie and blocking her from all platforms would have been the wise thing to do. but let's be honest, getting revenge felt much more satisfying than being wise sometimes. You wanted to show her that you were not someone to be toyed with cause that's what you felt like: a toy. You started seeing a girl you had recently met, but you made sure not to make it too obvious. You didn't want Ellie to think you were only doing it to get back at her. Of course not, it had to look natural. You wanted to show her that you had moved on with your life and that you were over her. Even though it was quite the opposite, you weren't over her.

✩ When you began sharing pictures of your new girlfriend, she dropped her fake composed demeanor and started bombarding your phone with messages. You finally had her exactly where you wanted her.

2:33 am "who the fuck is that girl in your story?" 2:34 am "hello?" 2:36 am "answer your goddamn phone" 2:37 am "Why do you even care, Ellie? you're in a relationship." 2:39 am "what the actual fuck" 2:42 am "tell me" 2:46 am "who is she" 2:53 am "My girlfriend."

✩ After that, she vanished from social media and every other platform for nearly a week, leaving you on read. You had mixed emotions about it. On one hand, you felt a sense of pride for getting back at her. It was working because she seemed jealous. On the other hand, there was a part of you that couldn't help but miss her. You longed for her presence and wished she would come back. Her presence wasn't the only thing you longed for; you missed her hands all over your body, touching you just in the right places. She knew you like the back of her hand. She knew exactly how to make you arch your back and make you scream her name.

✩ You couldn't cum. It had been weeks, maybe a month, and your little friend down there was starting to ache. You were horny, so fucking horny, but you couldn't cum. All you could think of was your fucking ex-girlfriend almost as if your pussy had a mind of her own. Not even your favorite toys were helping. it felt good, but you felt like something was missing. You reached out to the nightstand and grabbed your phone, unlocking the screen with a swift gesture and opened the messaging app. It was wrong, so wrong and you knew you would regret it the next day, but you needed her. Your fingers moved effortlessly across the virtual keyboard as you typed a message to her.

 1:15 am "Els, I know it's wrong but"  1:15 am "I'm horny"  1:16 am "I need you, please"

You let out a deep sigh of frustration as ten long minutes ticked by, convinced she wouldn't text you back. The last conversation you had hadn't gone well, and you were starting to think it was all over between the two of you, for real this time. Just as you were about to give up and put your phone back on the nightstand, you heard a familiar chime. Your heart leaped into your throat as you saw that it was her.

1:27 am "lol your little gf can't make you feel good like i do?" 1:29 am "omw"

In just 10 minutes, she was back in your apartment, in your arms, and inside you. It was almost like nothing happened like she hadn't just made you cry for a whole month for getting with the girl who made you deeply insecure. All her 8 inches buried deep into your soaked hole, stretching it out and making it hurt, but it felt good. "Is this what you wanted, hm?" she kept mumbling random things into the crook of your neck, not that you were listening to anything she was saying; she was fucking you dumb, and you couldn't seem to focus on anything else but her thick strap pounding into you relentlessly, hitting your cervix just right. You were a mess, literally. "Ellie...nngfuck.. slow down" you breathed out between incoherent moans, panting like a fucking dog in heat "Take it, slut. Show me how much you missed me." She hissed, thrusting hard into you, all your juices spilling out of your pussy, making a mess on your pink sheets. All she wanted to do was destroy you, mark you as hers.

"C-can't," you whined as pornographic moans left your throat. She groaned deep in her throat, savoring the sounds of pleasure falling from your lips, almost as if her life depended on them. She missed this so much. She missed you so much. She increased the pace, pushing deeper into you each time. Her hands moved to your hips, gripping them tightly as she continued to thrust her hips against yours, her thrusts becoming faster and harder, your breath coming out in heavy gasps. "So fucking tight, baby," she panted, her voice hoarse with need "You belong to me, don't you?" She bit down on your neck, her teeth grazing lightly against your delicate skin, leaving behind a mark as evidence of her claim over you; you whimpered at the sensation. You were hers, no one else's. She wanted to mark you all over, hoping your girlfriend would see the hickeys on your breasts and neck the next day.

All you could do was nod frantically, "m'yours, all yours" you babbled out, painfully arching your back. So fucking incoherent. Especially after promising yourself that you would never let her lay a finger on you ever again. But you were desperate, you needed to cum, and you needed her right now. "That's my girl, only I can fuck you like this, yeah?" Her hands roamed all over your body, pinching your nipples and rubbing your throbbing nub harshly. She wanted to hear you beg for her and admit how much you needed her. She needed you to need her.

"Tell me how much you missed my cock." She demanded, slamming into you again and again. Your high-pitched moans filled the room, each one driving her wilder. She could feel her own climax building as her clit bumped against the back of her strap with each thrust; the sound of your pleas combined with the tightness of your pussy around her strap-on were enough to push her closer and closer to the edge. You felt that familiar sensation build in your stomach; you were close. "Soo much, ahhh!...missed it, yeah.." you couldn't even put together a proper sentence. Her grip on your hips tightened, tugging slightly as she continued to thrust into you, hitting the spot that had you rolling your eyes into the back of your skull, over and over until you couldn't hold back anymore.

"That's it, whore. Cum for me. You don't belong to anyone else," she snarled, her voice laced with possession. She knew just what to do or say to push you over the edge, and it worked every single time; that's why you ran to her whenever you needed a good fuck. She could feel your body tensing up and your pretty pussy clenching around her strap-on. You came simultaneously, your combined moans filling your cozy bedroom, her well-defined abdominal muscles glistening with a thin layer of sweat. She rolled you over, so now you were on top of her, riding out your orgasm on her silicone cock as she ground her clit against the back of her strap.  "Oooh fuuuck!" you cried out as pretty moans left your mouth. She took in the sight of you on top of her, her strap still buried deep inside you, riding her cock; your tits bounced as you did so, a sight that she loved. No one did it like you. No one was remotely as good as you. She took a glimpse of your cum sliding down the strap, you were so fucking wet, and nasty wet sounds filled the room, but she loved it. "Fuck, baby," she groaned, clenching her teeth tightly together, causing her jaw muscles to bulge prominently. Her hands gripped your hips, guiding you as you moved your hips, setting the pace, your eyes locked on hers the entire time. Her fingers dug into your skin, leaving small marks that she knew would fade within hours but would always remind her of this moment. Her veiny hand reached up, grabbing one of your breasts, squeezing it firmly and twisting the nipple between her fingers. Your breath came out in ragged gasps, her eyes never leaving yours as she watched you take her cock like the fucking slut you were. "Taking me so well, such a good girl f'me, aren't ya?"

"El..." you whined as she toyed with your nipple. You weren't going to last long; you were still sensitive and your pussy couldn't handle it. "'m gonna cum again!" you cried out once again, bouncing faster on her thick strap. She watched you with unabashed hunger, her eyes never leaving your body as it moved above her. She thrust up, meeting your movements, pushing you closer to the edge. The sight of your tits bouncing in time with your thrusts and the strap disappearing inside your juicy-coated pussy almost made Ellie cum right then and there. Your thighs started to tremble, and she could feel you clench around her dick; your gasps and moans becoming more frequent. She wasted no time, her fingers digging into your hips as she slammed you down on her strap, making you cry out her name, "Just like that, yeah...take it."

When you finally collapsed against her, panting heavily, Ellie couldn't help but smile. "Mine," she rasped, her voice thick with possession and satisfaction. As your bodies finally came down from their highs, breaths slowly returning to normal, she pulled out of you, leaving your wet and sore pussy gaping open. You whined at the sensation, suddenly feeling empty.

The smile plastered on her face faded as you pulled away, the coldness in your voice seeping into the air between you two as you told her to return to her girlfriend. She reluctantly mimicked your movements and sat up, breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her eyes met yours, searching for any trace of warmth or affection, but all she found was distance. She grabbed her clothes and started to dress herself quickly, trying to calm down, her movements precise and controlled, hiding the hurt and anger she felt at your words. She was confused. You had called her, and she thought you were ready to take her back into your life. She wasn't expecting you to discard her like a toy. "I see how it is," she muttered, her voice cold and distant. She gathered her belongings, not meeting your gaze. "I shouldn't have come here." When she was fully clothed, Ellie turned to face you, her eyes filled with regret and anger.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," your tone coming off as sharp and cold. You put your shirt on, struggling to process what happened. You missed her so fucking much, and the sex with her was also something you missed a lot. You knew she was right when she told you that no one could fuck you like she did; your girlfriend couldn't even make you cum, while Ellie knew precisely how to touch you to make you feel good. "Can't believe it...Dina, really?" you muttered under your breath as you got dressed, catching her off guard. Your outburst was so sudden neither you could understand it. She could sense the jealousy in your voice and knew exactly what was going on, and the realization made her feel a twinge of satisfaction. "Is this what it's all about? Me fucking with Dina?" she scoffed, her eyes rolling in annoyance. But despite her outward annoyance, she was secretly glad you still cared and got jealous. It meant that you had never indeed gotten over her. You struggled to maintain eye contact with her, the words "Just…get out" barely escaped your lips. You felt a burning sense of shame for letting your jealousy get the best of you, but at the same time, you couldn't help but release all the pent-up emotions you had been holding in for so long.

She snorted from her nose, shaking her head in disbelief, almost amused by all this "Just say the word, and I'll dump her ass," she said in a flat tone, her emerald green eyes staring right back at you as she placed her hands on her hips. You could tell she was serious, as there was a hint of desperation in her voice. She was hoping you'd ask her to drop Dina's ass and come back to you, but of course, you didn't. "I would do anything for you" desperate, so fucking desperate. You let out a deep sigh and firmly shook your head, looking into her eyes. You could see the pain and desperation in her gaze, but you couldn't just let her back into your life like that. "Go," you repeated yourself. "Fine, whatever," she sounded so pissed, disappointed. For a moment, you wanted to take your words back, but you knew that letting her into your life again was the worst idea ever.

✩ That night only made it incredibly difficult for you to move on from her (not that you could before), but she was all you could think of. You found yourself constantly yearning for her at every moment of the day. You'd often text her, and she would always come over, no matter what she was in the middle of. She was willing to drop everything to be with you and 8 inches inside you or between your thighs. Even if she was out with Dina, she didn't seem to care — it became obvious that something was going on between you and Ellie. You couldn't understand how Dina couldn't tell that Ellie was cheating on her with you.

6:34 pm "Baby, need you" 6:36 pm "I'm so wet, been thinking about you all day :(" 6:37 pm "proof??"

✩ One of the things you used to do quite regularly was sending her nudes. You would send her nudes on Snapchat unexpectedly, mostly to surprise her or get some sort of reaction from her. Sending snaps to tease her was one of your favorite things to do. Whether it was a picture of you in sexy lingerie or a video of you playing with your pussy, riding the purple strap she had left at your place weeks ago. You loved making her horny, and it always worked. She would always end up knocking at your door, eager to fuck you or eat you out.

"Teasin' me like that in public — tsskk," She mumbled against your throbbing core as she teased your clit with her tongue. Your legs were on her shoulders, and you watched her head disappear between your thighs. Your fingers tightly gripped into her auburn hair as she devoured like a starved animal, so pussy drunk. But even in that state, she was such a sight.

✩ You were the only one she could think about, even when fucking her girlfriend. Her mind too fixated on the cute little whimpers that left your mouth when she was inside you or sucking on your clit. The way your legs trembled when you were close, your hips jerking away from her when it became too much for you. No one could make her wet like you did, it was a fucking curse having to fuck someone else while thinking of you, hoping that would be enough to trick her brain into thinking she was fucking you instead.

✩ She would save each of your snaps into her phone's gallery and meticulously organize them into a special and hidden folder she had created just for you. This folder contained not just your nudes but plenty of other stuff — from intimate pictures you'd send her to videos she'd take while fucking you. She would go through the folder occasionally for personal use (iykwim).

✩ Your girlfriend was quick to pick up on something odd going on. She'd notice how you would turn your phone upside down, making sure the screen was facing whatever surface to make sure she wouldn't see your ex-girlfriend spamming your phone with texts (she would do it on purpose, by the way). That's how she knew something was up, but for some odd reason, she brushed it off.

✩ She was fed up with your stupid girlfriend constantly in the way. Why weren't you breaking up with her already? She couldn't understand; she was trying to be the best version of herself for you, yet you were still not hers. She tried everything to get you caught, like texting you while your girlfriend was around, sending you risky snaps, calling you...but nothing seemed to be working. So, she decided to hurry things up by texting your girlfriend and sending her some evidence.

She selected a video from her gallery to send to your girlfriend, writing a text message to go along with it before hitting the 'send' button "is this ur girl?" In the video, she was strapping you from behind, and you were telling her exactly what she needed to hear, "Better than your stupid girlfriend, yeah?" "Y-yes. Oooh fuckk. nhhmmm...faster, please" "Can she fuck you like this, hmm?" "No one can fuck me like y-you do...pleaseplease faster"

✩ Your girlfriend felt hurt and betrayed after realizing that you were using her to make your ex jealous, and she ended things between you two. You didn't seem to be affected by the breakup significantly, as if you had been expecting it all along. Honestly, it was almost as if the relationship never existed to you.

✩ Despite feeling indifferent towards your recent breakup, you were furious that Ellie had been the one who caused the end of your relationship. Who was she to control your life in such a way? Well, she couldn't give a fuck, to be quite honest. Seeing you with other girls consumed her from the inside. Nevertheless, she did not break up with Dina.

✩ But of course, you couldn't just let it slide. You already had a plan.

You were at Ellie's place, your back pressed onto her messy blankets, your leg on top of her shoulder as she held the other one firm, adjusting herself on top of you, to be more precise... on your pussy; grinding her wet pussy against your dripping cunt as filthy wet sounds and whimpers echoed in the room. Her hips moved in a slow motion, her green forest eyes fixated on yours. You reached to her nightstand to grab her phone, "Can I...nghhm... record us, baby?" you managed to utter between soft moans as she rode you, her movements became more desperate, chasing her own orgasm. "Record how good m'fuckin' this pussy?" her voice was husky, her breath ragged. Her head rolled back as she continued to grind against you, moaning at the friction, and her eyes fluttered shut. You unlocked her phone and quickly went through her contacts, pressing on Dina's name to start the call. Although the plan seemed foolish and overused, it worked out perfectly.

Dina appeared at Ellie's doorstep in no time to shout at her while you listened from her bedroom. You were amused by the drama that was unfolding before you. It was entertaining to watch Ellie deny the evidence. Dina's voice rose higher and higher as she accused her of sleeping with her ex. When Dina stormed out of the apartment and slammed the front door behind her, you emerged from your hiding spot and leaned against the doorframe, gazing at her with a mischievous grin on your face. Your arms were crossed over your chest as you watched her, waiting to see her reaction. When she turned to look at you, her face etched with confusion and surprise. You shrugged nonchalantly and said, "My finger slipped," with a lopsided smile.

She snorted and shook her head, but you could see the amusement in her expression, "Such a bitch," she said, though you could tell she was trying to suppress a smile. For some reason, she couldn't help but find it funny, she knew she deserved it.

✩ She gradually made her way back into your life, taking slow but steady steps to regain your trust and affection. And before you knew it, she asked you to be her girlfriend again. You hesitated at first but eventually gave in to the strong feelings you still had for her. The first few months of your second chance together seemed to be going smoothly, or so you thought. Then, one day, out of the blue, she broke up with you, claiming that she needed a break from the relationship.

✩ Your heart was shattered into countless pieces, struggling to comprehend where it had all gone wrong. And to make things worse, it seemed like you were the only one suffering, while she appeared to be completely fine, almost as if she were unbothered by the whole situation. You had poured your heart out, begging her to give your relationship another try, but she seemed to be holding back, almost...distant.

✩ But that didn't stop you; you were determined to win her back. You tried everything in your power to get her to love you again, just like she used to do when she wanted to win you back. You started showing up at her place unannounced, always with little surprises for her: her favorite snacks, flowers, handmade stuff, and love letters. But unfortunately, all your efforts seemed to be in vain. The more you tried, the more she pushed you away. You couldn't tell how she had switched so fast and went from doing anything to get back with you to this. 

✩ When you asked her for an explanation, she said she felt emotionally unavailable. She went on to say that she wasn't sure if she still loved you and that she needed a break. You could see the hurt in her eyes and feel the weight of her words as they slowly sank in. It was a devastating blow that left you feeling utterly destroyed. The pain you felt was almost too much to bear.

✩ She promised to come back to you once she felt better. Months passed, and she didn't return. You were left feeling lost and heartbroken, struggling to cope with the pain of the breakup. To move on, you tried to distract yourself with other things, keeping yourself busy with work, hobbies, and spending time with friends. As time went on, you slowly began to heal and accept that it was over. When she unexpectedly came back, you were already over her.

"im ready to give us another try" "Ellie, it's been a fucking year." "and?"

#ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie x you #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #naughty dog #angst #ellie x fem reader #lesbianism #tlou part 2 #tlou2 #the last of us #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x y/n #ellie tlou x reader #tlou x you #tlou x reader #tlou x y/n #ellie smut #ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou #the last of us part two #the last of us part 2 #the last of us 2 #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us game

[lvlyghost]

Heyyy 🤗🤗 I just discovered your blog but after binge reading almost all your writings I just have to request something cause I love your writing style so much

How bout a ghost x reader where he has a nightmare about losing the reader could be angst to fluff to smut

Midnight Rain

Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Summary: Bad dreams were not strange to Simon, but ever since you came into his life there's one thing he feared the most: losing you.

Word Count: 1.0k

Tw: smut! But nothing too explicit. self-doubt, angst, comfort. Poorly edited. you know the drill.

A/N:I'm so sorry this took so long to get out but life happened 🥲 I wish it was longer and far better i hope you like it.💛🩵 also since i got two similar requests decided to make one for both🥰✨

Masterlist✨

He doesn't scream when he jolts awake from his bed. It's always like that. The dreams. The nightmares. Simon was cursed, tragedies seemed to plague his life on a daily basis that's why he was so adamant about letting you in at first.

Slipping off the bed he fights the way his heart is racing nearly beating out of his chest. The clock marks the time.

5:31 A.M

The sky is gray outside the soft morning rain tapping against the window reminds him that he's supposed to be at Price's office by six.

Yet his mind is purely set on you. On that horrific imagery of his nightmare. He knew that the possibilities of it happening were high, and it didn't help to stop his growing anxiety. To think of someone so small and fragile, dead and without possibilities... fucking hell he knew you were capable of many things. He knew about your strength, resilience. Yet he had a strong sense of protection when it came to you. Death was something he couldn't keep you safe from, thought he'd die trying. Simon would happily trade your life for his if it were in his power.

'Just let it be me not her. Never her.'

Needless to say he didn't get any proper rest. He was thankful for the mask and face paint covering his face, otherwise anyone could see the tiredness in his features.

But you knew better.

You always knew better.

Always seeing through him.

You're laughing at something Johnny's saying, he couldn't attend training this morning so he hadn't had the time to talk to you. And then the sight of you getting shot appears in the back of his mind agains, your body falling limply to the ground next to him.

Dead.

On his watch.

He shifts his weight from one foot to another, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

All the bloody morning his head has been spinning. Unable to get a grip on reality, Simon forces himself to turn away.

You watch from the other side, smile faltering. Why hadn't he joined you? You were about to wave at him. Maybe he didn't want Johnny to be there... Simon was a private man and he wanted to keep a low profile regarding your relationship so you decide to follow him, saying a quick good-bye to your teammate and trotting after Simon.

The door to his office is closed, knocking twice then waiting a second and you knock again.

He doesn't respond to you but you open the door nonetheless. You poke your head enough for him to see you.

"Hey..." you greet him with a warm smile. Simon breathes deeply. "Didn't come to say hello today." You point out, closing the door behind you. He looks down where he's signing a stack of papers.

"Didn't want to interrupt." He gruffly answers.

"Come on..." you reply. "It was just Johnny and I... everything alright?" You question him. The grip on his pen is painfully hard to the point his knuckles turn white.

"Jus' busy, that's all."

Something's not right. You take a deep breathe and walk towards him until you're standing next to his chair. Simon doesn't look up nor acknowledges your presence.

"Simon..." you try again.

Suddenly in a swift movement he's standing up, grabbing you by the arm and leading the two of you out of the office and to his room. You don't say anything you just let him guide you. Whatever it was you'd work it out. He locks the door once you're both inside, his big calloused hands grabbing you by your cheeks. His eyes are frantic, bouncing from your lips and back to your orbs. As if trying to remember the sight of you before him, the sight of you in his room.

"Talk to me. Please...." it's a soft plea. You know him, you recognize the sadness in his honeyed eyes. You know despair when you see it.

"I can't lose you." His voice shakes, as does he. His hands are trembling, buzzing with worry.

"You're not gonna lose me, Simon..." your own hands, much smaller than his come to rest above them. "I'm right here." A brief moment of silence passes by, until he releases a shaky breath, he retreats enough to slip the fabric of his mask off. It was getting hard to breathe for him. "Come with me... please."

You drag him to the bed, motioning for him to sit down you help him unlace his boots then you do the same with yours.

He lays back as do you, Simon brings you closer to his body wrapping one arm around you. Hand tracing soft circles on his chest, hearing the rhythmic beat of his heart underneath you.

"You were dead." He begins. "Right in front of me and I couldn't stop it," your motions stop. Brows knitting together. "I...-" he trails off. "I'm nothing if I can't keep you safe."

"Simon don't ever say that again." You scold him. Tears gather in the corner of your eyes. "Don't you dare think such things."

Standing you're quick to straddle his lap, strong arms hold you close to his body. You slam your lips to his, Simon welcomes the warmth of your mouth against him. Your hands caress the back of his head, fingers threading through his blond locks. He hardens under your body and murmur something into your ear. Something that sends you over the edge. Soon, your pants are discarded on the white floor, he lets you ride him, merely looking at your eyes never leaving your face. If he could capture this moment he'd do it. He'll save it for the rest of his life. Treasure it. Wrapping your arms around his shoulder you kiss him hard. You're so close your mind is in a haze, and when he grits his teeth you know he's close too. The pure adoration in his eyes is enough. There'll never be anyone after him.

"You're stuck with me."

His lips curve into a barely-there-smile.

"Yeah..." he gasped. "Jus' keep looking at me, love. And stay with me."

As if you could ever say no to him.

#cod #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #cod x reader #cod mw2 #cod mw22 #cod ghost #simon ghost riley #call of duty #cod simon riley #cod simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x you #mw2 ghost #call of duty mw2 #simon ghost riley x reader

[flaetsbnortoriginals]

I've just had a dream that was so steeped in Magic: The Gathering lore that I need to post it to tumblr on the off-chance that people who know enough to understand it will be able to read it, because if I tell it to the people I usually tell my dreams to they won't understand a dang thing. Sorry @one-time-i-dreamt

So. The dream was in Ravnica, and was about this planeswalker lady. She was white, with long straight blonde hair, and a fancy blue dress. I have the feeling that I was dreaming I was her before my dream remembered I'm a boring cis man without any amazing powers so as far as I can recall I'm just following her, like the main character of a story. I'm not sure I should call her my OC since she was created without any prompting of my conscious mind but none of the characters in the dream have names so I'll call her that.

OC was walking down a boulevard in Ravnica with this dude. They were pretending to be a couple, but the dude was actually a Dimir spy she had bested and was kind of her prisoner. Dimir guy wasn't very happy about it but wasn't too angry either, he saw his "custodianship" as a work thing and kind of respected OC, so they were chill.

OC saw a woman who she realized wasn't from this plane, although she was pretending to be a local. She challenged Dimir guy to point out what made them realize this. Now I expected this to go like a Sherlock sequence, with each one pointing out a detail in the woman's outfit or some very precise behaviour. Instead, OC starts by pointing out that this woman is wearing

A FRIGGING BRIGHT BLUE SOCCER JERSEY

and not only are soccer jerseys not usual clothes in Ravnica, (at least not until Hooligans at Rakdos Stadium is released), but it also has a giant number on it (77 if you're curious), except that Ravnica uses a different writing system, so any planeswalker would immediately clock her as an outsider. (I think that it's only sort of implied that each plane uses a different writing system, but in the dream that was settled truth.)

OC is so apalled at how poorly this woman - who needs a name, so I'll call her BadKellan for reasons that will soon become apparent - is at hiding herself, she decides to have a word with her. BadKellan realizes she's being followed and hoofs it - but OC and Dimir guy immediately use their Dimir crap to become invisible. BadKellan thinks he's shaken them off, but she's quite rattled, so she goes to her safehouse, which happens to be just around the corner. OC and Dimir sneak in behind her, then make themselves visible.

Now I should tell you that Dimir Guy does nothing else in this story. I was going to say that he's just Ken, he's just there, but it's actually worse - his presence makes the story make no sense, since OC is about to reveal some secrets to some random lady. But the dream didn't forget him: I vividly recall that he was still around all throughout this part of the dream, even though he does nothing else.

So. OC reveals herself and tells BadKellan that what she's doing is very dangerous. She tells her about the Dimir (the guild, not the random guy) and says that if they see her poorly sneaking around and think she's going to be trouble, or even can't figure out what her deal is, they're just going to kill her. Which means it's incredibly dangerous for her to go around like that.

BadKellan reveals a few things about herself. She's from Earth - yes, our real world. She's not a planeswalker. She was brought to Ravnica against her will and told to blend in and pretend to be a local. She doesn't feel comfortable revealing who told her to do that.

OC decides to give BadKellan a few pointers on how to lay low on Ravnica. She explains that she would dress mostly in gray, since colours are strongly associated with the guilds and she should stay away from them to stop making waves. She asks her to change her outift and she'll say if it draws attention.

BadKellan changes clothes. She's now dressed entirely in gray, which is good, except that her shirt

HAS A LARGE, GLITTERING PRINT ACROSS THE FRONT READING

girl

IT'S THE EXACT SAME THING AS BEFORE. IT'S A LARGE PRINT USING OFF-PLANE SCRIPT. It's not as large as the jersey number, sure, but I'd like to remind you that it's glittering!

OC is apparently as taken aback by this as I am, because she turns her into a squirrel.

In fact, she specifically turns her into the squirrel from Bloomburrow key art.

OC's logic is that BadKellan is so bad at blending in that this is the only way she can be safe. OC intends to release "squirrel girl" in a park while she tries to look into exactly whose plans she just ruined and how bad of an idea it was.

There was more to this dream, but my memories are fuzzy and it's (even more) uninteresting. I think it involves the Boros having a special currency that they gain when they help people but the Dimir also use it in a kind of ironic way? I don't remember.

#magic the gathering #ravnica #dimir #dream #yeah no idea but I need to share

[minjiarchive]

learn the hard way | g!p sua x fem!reader

happy late new years! and @belongtodeukae – love you, enjoy <3

warnings / throat fucking, mommy kink, (readers throat literally gets filled)

“Bora, I'm sorry...”

You try to argue or at least protest against Bora but Bora's the type of woman to be rooted in her place. She doesn't budge and tries not to give in – because it's fun to tease you. And, it's especially fun when she gets to put you in your place.

She stood directly in front of you, looking down to talk to you, it made you feel small and even pathetic. Her leg between yours kept you open and flushed for her. She'd occasionally feel your thighs trying to close in desperation but they'd clench around her instead.

It's exactly how she wanted you.

“Good girls don't tease their mommy during dinner, do they?” Bora asks, pushing her knee further into your center.

“No, mommy.”

It's cute to Bora how you're trying to be composed when you both know, you really aren't.

Who are you dressing prettily for? Because if it isn't for mommy, then you aren't going out like that.

“Exactly, that's why you're being punished.” She makes sure you know why you're being treated the way you are. Bora plays to get even, she'll make sure she gets her way with you.

“Get on your knees, baby.”

“Bora, please-” you try to plead your way out of the punishment but you get interrupted when she shoves two fingers in your mouth.

“On your knees.”

She steps back and gives you room to kneel, giving you no option to fight back. You do what she says while her fingers finally leave your mouth, leaving you begging with your eyes.

Bora doesn't budge.

“Look at me,” she grips onto your chin, forcing your head up. You swallow hard, knowing her next move that will leave you drooling already.

She undoes her pants, every bit of tension leaving her body as her cock stood freely. Bora's moves are painfully slow when removing her clothes, it could be her way of teaching you patience but it takes you all your strength to restrain yourself.

When she's done undressing, she grabs your hair into a messy ponytail, pulling you closer to her, “Can you handle mommy's load in your mouth?”

“Yes, mommy.”

Bora's proud of you for your words – you'll handle her punishment very well (or at least she'll make you handle it). “Good, now I'm gonna fuck the brat out of you and hope this lesson will teach you something.”

In a split second, her whole length is slipping down your throat, forcing you to take her all in one.

You choke around her, using all your senses to grip onto something but you can't. Your back is pressed against a wall with nothing to help you ease the pain so your hands find Bora's legs, scratching your nails across her soft skin.

Your saliva drips down the corners of your lips as you let more gags and whines out, but Bora doesn't care and continues to slide herself as deep as possible, cleaning your spit off by brushing her thumb across your cheek.

“You're making such a mess when I barely even started,” she laughs while pulling the smallest reactions from you, it's very amusing to Bora that she mocks you for it.

She shushes you as she starts fucking your throat, using you as her fleshlight. This shouldn't be any more enjoyable for you, or so you thought. The way her dick pulses in your mouth while her hands needily thread through your hair makes you feel absolutely drunk on her.

“You're so good to fuck,” and you know that. You let Bora play fairly and get her way, even if it's through a punishment like this. It's easy to say no but not easy to face her consequences, Bora teaches you right, she doesn't teach you wrong. You listen to her well, you let her play with you, own you, fuck you, but the loving girl she is, she keeps your trust safe with her.

Only with her.

Bora continues her act on you as more poorly muffled moans vibrate around her. She watches you struggle and squirm with your mouth full for her, watching you only adding more energy to her body to ruin you longer and harder.

Your eyes are fluttered shut, not daring to look up to see Bora's eyes on you. You've given up on trying to push her away, you couldn't even move your head back without hitting your head on a bare wall. This is what you wanted, wasn't it?

“I know, baby, I know,” she whispers, lazily stroking your hair as her muscles start falling apart.

“Mommy's gonna cum soon, angel.”

Her statement is clear and written all over her face. She goes in harder, hard enough for you to let out a prolonged whimper. As you let out your helpless pleas and noises, it's pleasurable around Bora's cock,

You're doing her such a favor.

Her stomach tightens, pressure building up in her body, she won't be able to last any longer. You look up to see a broken Bora, shaky hands pushing your head towards her for a better angle.

She finally lets herself go – inside your mouth.

Bora's game working, her orgasm filling your throat up. It's too much for you to handle, you could cry, but she tastes much better this way. She melts into you, holding you closer as she spoils you with her load.

It's truly an honor.

When her body finally resets, Bora carefully slides herself out of your mouth, your drool clinging onto her dick still. She grabs a nearby towel to wipe your face, cleaning her arousal that spilled from your mouth.

“Learned your lesson, love?”

You were confident that you'd have Bora all over your tastebuds.

#minjiarchive in heat #dreamcatcher scenarios #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher x reader #dreamcatcher smut #dreamcatcher #sua x reader #sua imagines #sua scenarios #sua smut #wlw #wlw smut #kpop smut

[funnyburneracct]

Hi, I'm Xiao/burningrqs. this post is going to be long. Posting this from a burner so that it doesn't go down the drain when we deactivate.

But essentially, this is an apology to the radqueer community for multiple different things. I'm going to do my best to type this out as well as possible, and I apologize if I miss anything or word things poorly. I am going to explain myself to the best of my abilities, but please keep in mind that my explanations do not excuse my actions by any means.

Post under the cut.

for those who don't want to read it though, TL;DR: I was a complete asshole and I'm genuinely very sorry about it.

So, I want to start off by apologizing in general for the "burning radqueers" thing. Not only was it just not funny, but it was also really weird. I know damn well that if I saw someone pop up with a "burningmogais" blog or something, I would be pissed. So I don't know what made me think that running burningradqueers was a good idea in any sense.

My rude and dehumanizing comments did not help. Regardless of how I view people, what disorders I have, or how symptoms present themselves, it was disgusting of me to act as though I can't be held accountable for my cruelty towards others.

The targeted posts were even worse, and allowing people to just pick a random blog to "burn" was teetering on harassment. It put the user in front of so many people who clearly did not have good intentions towards them, and inherently put the user being "burnt" in danger. I wish I noticed that fact sooner. Even if I disagreed with people or didn't like them for whatever reason, I still should not have felt as though I had the right to post stuff like that.

Adding onto that, I should have never used my ASPD as an excuse for anything. I tend to get defensive when I feel insulted, which is what happened, and I decided to bite back despite being in the wrong. I acted impulsively and out of pure anger, and then tried to defend it, which I shouldn't have. When saying the kinds of things I did, I am open to criticism whether I like that fact or not, and trying to act as though I am immune to that criticism because of a disorder was disgusting on my part.

Another thing, somewhat on a similar note, is that an apology is owed for my hostility in general. Every time it was even lightly suggested I was wrong, I seemed to lash out and get angry. This really just comes down to me needing to learn to admit my wrongs. I should not have made my inability to understand my wrongdoings anyone else's problem.

Then there's also the things I said when I lashed out before deciding to drop burningradqueers entirely. I don't fully remember all of what I said as the event happened during an episode (this does not excuse my words at all by the way. regardless of my state at the time, what I said wasn't okay and should not be excused) and the posts have since been deleted. But, I do remember at one point making harassment out to be a competition of sorts when someone was simply trying to calmly explain to my why the namedropping was not a good move. I can't for the life of me remember why I did that, but I am very sorry about it. A lot of people in the radqueer community have been harassed (and likely do still get harassed constantly), and for me to act like I am the only victim of harassment was wrong on multiple levels.

I'm sure there was a lot of bad stuff I said during that episode, but as I said, I do not remember most of it. I'm sorry that I can't apologize for the specific things I said, but I am apologizing for the situation as a whole.

The entire thing started over me not being able to handle much deserved criticism, and I stood "my ground" despite having absolutely no ground to stand on.

I started burningradqueers over baseless hatred. I didn't know why I was supposed to hate radqueers, or what I was even really hating. I joined the anti community thinking that it is much easier to just move with the pack and hate what everyone else seems to hate, but hatred really isn't that easy. It's exhausting. And realizing how much the anti community really wouldn't want me if I was honest about things made me realize that. Realizing that there are so many antis who would rather see us suffer forever due to dysphoria than see us live happily after getting amputations was rough, and honestly kinda gave me a taste of what radqueers have to deal with every single day, and it felt horrible.

Without realizing it, I managed to do so much damage to a community full of people who deal with exactly the same things I do, a community that is mostly traumatized and mentally ill people who are just trying to get by. Not even just that, but genuinely just people trying to exist and be honest about themselves.

It is not my place to dictate what is and isn't valid in terms of someone's personal identity, and even more, it's not okay for me to treat a whole community like garbage just because I didn't understand it.

Again, I do not want my actions to be excused. I treated people horribly and was a total dick, but I hope that me apologizing can at least make some of you feel better about how I behaved.

#pro rq 🌈🍓 #rq 🌈🍓 #rq community #rqc🌈🍓 #radqueer #rq please interact #radqueers please interact #radqueer please interact

[yanderecandystore]

Angst ᐛ. So imagine y/n is fully aware of what the beldam is about. I'm talking from the very begining but kept coming back since they felt so alone. And at some point y/n just walks in, plots their head in the beldam's chest, tearing up after a particularly bad day and is just like. "You know, I know what youre gonna ask... About the buttons. I know its just a way to eat me. But to be honest just hearing yoinsay 'i care about you' is making me consider the offer. Pathetic right?" Would the beldam make it a quick kill or would he not want to eat them anymore? Of course if you dont feel comfortable writing this thats fine too.

The reason why I always take too long to write anything about Male Beldam/Belsire, is because I always fear making something that people won't like especially since it's my most liked story-

But after rereading the story I realized it really isn't all that good X'D I feel like it could have been a lot better if I had put more time into it.

I'm sorry for taking so long to write this, but I really don't want to leave you guys hanging especially since I do really like the idea of a "twisted" ending sort of thing. Thank you for requesting this!

It's very short, but I hope I can talk more about it because I do wonder how Y/n will deal with this new life.

TW/Tags: Mentions of: Gore; death // Arachnophobia Warning // Scotomaphobia Warning (Reader is now blind) // Manipulation // Human flesh consumption (not from the Reader) // this is very short sorry // not proofread lmao (headaches) // Reader is very unresponsive to the things that happen around them.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

A peek at the keyhole [Yandere!Belsire x GN!Reader - A short Oneshot]

It was during dinner that you decided to seal the deal, he was acting strange… He was starving and you were sure of it. Which was funny because you never saw him eat, now that you think about it.

He doesn't understand where you got that knowledge of how he behaves or of what he consumes- Maybe it was just a lucky guess based on his desperate need to keep you "unaware", always giving a poorly disguised lie about himself.

Who was he? What was he? What did he want? He was your best friend, silly. He was your other friend, and all he wanted was to be with you.

Lies, lies, half truths. He was simply too shady for his own benefit, too obvious for his own good.

Or perhaps he really liked this back and forth between you two, after all- What proof did you have of anything? You couldn't trust his words, yes, but what else did you have to go with?

Just that sinking feeling in your stomach whenever he was near you, whenever he tapped his fingers impatiently because you were just oh so curious about him!

It was adorable, really. Infuriatingly adorable.

Because it didn't matter how much you knew about him, or his "real intentions" with you- You always came back for more. His words of reassurance coated with thick honey and distributed with a soft, calm tone of voice that was just as patronizing as it was endearing.

Treating you like royalty every time you came around and yet always keeping you at arm's length when it came to learning more about him, but did any of that even matter?

You were being taken care of, wasn't that enough? You had friends with you, an adoring handsome fella that wasn't shy at all about treating you more than a friend, if you wanted him to. There was clear favoritism and although common sense would have told you it was a massive red flag, you couldn't deny it was quite refreshing to be regarded with so much love.

The fun will never end, he said. It could go for as long as you wanted, forever even if you agreed to stay with just a little, tiny condition.

He didn't have to explain it in detail for you to instantly agree with him, you cling to him already aware of what your fate would be. A bad day was all he needed for you to accept it in a heartbeat? He could have done this a lot sooner than.

It was just you and him, standing in the kitchen as you hugged him, burying yourself in both a need for contact but also out of embarrassment- Shame of throwing yourself away to the unknown without second thought.

It took him by surprise at first, although not ideal he still met his goal sooner than he expected- Only a couple of nights spent with him and his creations, with only a few fabulous events in between.

Of course he couldn't go TOO wild with his attractions, after all you didn't need a spectacular show to be lured in, you just wanted to be heard and included.

" … Oh dear… Pathetic? Why? There's no reason to feel this way, you made the right choice… "

He wanted to still reassure you of your actions, but it was hard hiding the eagerness in his voice.

He held you tightly, cooing you gently despite your unisseanes and uncertainty.

It was mostly so you wouldn't see the illusion breaking, so you wouldn't hear the sounds of your other friends turning into dust… He simply couldn't keep them for much longer, and now he didn't need to.

It's a shame they couldn't warn you of your mistake sooner, it's a shame that everything he creates reflects his adoration to the people he lures in. If only they could warn you to not let him do this, that it wasn't really worth it.

" Come… It'll be quick, don't worry. " He led you with his hands, which were feeling colder by the minute, sharper than before. Thinner than before.

The lights of the house were starting to lower if not fully turn off behind you as you only focused on following him to his little workshop. You felt the stairs lose their solidity after lifting your feet, each step turning from wood to web quickly.

You were actively following him to your doom, you knew that, and as much as you wanted to you couldn't run away now.

He opened the door to the attic, the only thing that seemed intact in this empty and dark place- It was as if the house was starting to disappear the higher he went, and as you followed him there was no need to keep the rest of the house.

He was trying to be economical here, too many things to keep magically attached and realistic all the time- With no break for lunch.

The attic was the only thing that seemed actually real for you, stepping inside you felt the old floor creek. It was old, moldy, but somehow always well kept, as it was one of the only real things in this void he took care of.

It was his favorite place in the house.

" You can go sit on that chair over there, but if you would like to choose I have a great variety of colors and types for you to pick. " The voice that held warmth and youth to it was also disappearing and being replaced with a dry throat, a rougher tone and a lack of discernible emotion behind it.

You could only tell there was impatience by the constant tapping of his fingernails on his board as he showed you all the possible options.

Classic black like his? Baby blue? Chartreuse?? His constant tapping made you feel like a ticking clock taunting you to pick a color already-

You just pointed to the one color you liked most, hey, who wouldn't want to have their favorite color as their eye color? Although, it wasn't really eyes. Just buttons.

He hummed while giving you a soft smile.

" I'm glad you made a choice for me, I would have been too indecisive. Ah, but they're perfect for you..! You're going to make me so jealous, doll.." It was a joke, or maybe a compliment. It was hard to tell if his monotonous voice was out due to boredom, anger or was his voice like this in general.

Well, he didn't seem mad?? It was hard to understand him and to be honest you were getting very nervous. You sat down in the tall chair, its pastel colors did little to nothing to calm you down. Was this really a good idea?

" Are you ready?... It'll be quick I promise… Although… "

He grabbed your face, trying to be gentle as he inspected your panicking eyes.

You didn't understand what was going inside his head, you couldn't tell what he was planning to do and you weren't sure if his touch was starting to freak you out or sooth you.

" … It'll be fine. I'll make sure of it." He sighed before kissing your forehead, so you wouldn't forget he cared about you.

It was agonizing.

You don't know for how long you stayed out, but you remember your brain blacking out after he sewed the first one in.

You're not sure how you even survived through him stabbing your eyes with a needle- Hell, were you even alive at all?! You couldn't see anything, so either he successfully closed your eyes or you were dead.

No, you probably weren't dead yet, your headache just as bad as your entire face- Raising your hand slowly to touch your face you could feel your eyes covered by thick cloth, it was slightly wet.

Slightly touching and pushing like that caused you to feel immense pain, you immediately stopped- It was still fresh so of course it would hurt like hell.

You were sure that you felt the shape of the buttons underneath the cloth, however.

Your ears buzzed as you tried to regain some of your strength, as you tried to get out from your torture chair you forgot how tall it was- Missing a step and crashing down to the old attic floor with no one to help you.

Falling sure felt like falling! The floor sure felt like a crusty old floor! Yep, you weren't dead.

Your head was aching so badly you weren't sure if what you heard was real or not, but you were sure you heard some commotion coming from downstairs.

It was loud enough to muffle your little accident.

The voices below were followed by painful screaming that lasted for a few minutes after complete silence. A chilling sensation settled in as you started to wonder if the screams you heard felt familiar to you in any way.

You carefully started to get up, slowly you started to consider if you should go back to the tall chair or just make a run for it- But to where? You couldn't see anything!!

You considered taking the cloth off- But you didn't want to feel the pain that came from it. You needed to let it heal after all. Though, you doubted that you would be able to see anything with freaking BUTTONS in your eyes!!

Was it too late to regret your decision? It seemed like it.

You walked around trying to feel your way, where was the door again? You were sure you were on the right track… Your hand went from old wood to a nice clean carpet- Wait- Wasn't the house entirely destroyed? Shouldn't it be a spider web here?

Or, well, everywhere?

The fur of the carpet fooled you as you felt your hand squeeze something very soft that squeaked and scurried away from you. A rat.

" I'm sorry!- " You whispered to him, but he didn't appreciate your attempt at escaping, he squealed as he ran down stairs alerting his owner that you were awake.

Well, shit.

You would have screamed if you were able to see the heavy thing that came up the stairs in such a hurry, it didn't help that although you couldn't see him, the sound of metal hitting the walls and the floor made you highly concerned.

What the fuck was that-

" You shouldn't have left the room without telling me. " The same monotonous voice, although he didn't sound so exhausted like he did before- Not as hungry, you assumed.

" Come, let me help you. " You could hear him approach, as if he was wearing high heels it was hard to not hear him coming closer.

And you couldn't help but feel like distancing yourself further, his boney fingers didn't help you feel any more relaxed- They were sharp and cold, it felt like pure needles taking your hand and pulling you up.

" You need to rest for a little longer, doll. But you can't heal with an empty stomach right? " He guided you with his hand, you felt sick at the mention of food.

He helped you get down the stairs by holding you bride style, and you almost cried at the sensation of his hard and cold skin, you trembled at how those same needles would gently squeeze your skin-

One wrong move and they would tear your skin apart.

He helped you sit in a chair, you assumed you were at the kitchen's table by now.

Was this your end…? Was he really going to do this now??

…. No. He was just cooking something, presumably for you. It smelled of omelets and orange juice, it was simple but it was a very nice scent.

This kitchen reeked of blood, however. Instinctively you took your hands to cover your nose, and probably your mouth as well since you weren't sure if shouting would be a good idea right now. He hates loud noises.

" Don't worry about it, it was just a pesky guest who didn't take no for an answer! I'm sorry for the mess. I'll clean it up after you eat. " A more upbeat and sweet voice, the same one you were more accustomed with. Reassurance and comfort all tied with a smile you were more familiar with.

Approaching you with a plate in hand, and a juice glass in the other.

" Don't worry, I didn't put any of the nasty stuff for you. Just eggs and lots of love. The spoiled food is for me. " He kissed you on the cheek, it felt like being touched by porcelain.

He handed you the fork, but you weren't sure if you wanted to find out if he kept his word or not.

He killed someone here, didn't he? Those noises you heard when you were up in the attic plus the smell of iron coating every inch of this kitchen sure weren't just coincidence. He… He wouldn't force you to eat someone, would he?

Who was it?... Who was it..?!

Was he referring to the person as "spoiled food"?

" Doll. I told you to not worry. There's no meat on your plate, I'm a bit selfish when it comes to sharing food. I'm sorry but there's nothing left of them for you, if I knew you wanted to try I wouldn't have been so careless- "

" N-No, it's… It's fine! I'm just… I can't really see anything…" You tried to not sound as terrified of him as you were, heaven knows you shouldn't feed any monster your own fear, it's what they live on.

" …. Aw… You're blind, I'm so sorry! I forgot about that. " He started to laugh as he slapped his forehead about forgetting something so crucial, silly him!

You weren't sure if he was being honest about forgetting that, but you sure as hell knew by the way he snatched the fork from your hand and how he seemed to drag his chair closer to you that he was probably very excited to do this.

" Say, ah~! " You knew he was having fun when he pinched your cheek to make you open your mouth.

Well, yep, those were just eggs. I mean it was a very tasty omelet but that was it, the orange juice didn't taste any different. Probably a little too sweet, but that's it.

It was probably due to the pain you were feeling in the front of your entire face that made you very much NOT interested in eating, or maybe it was the dripping sound and the smell of blood. The thought that somehow you were sitting possibly next to a murder scene, and/or a body, and the murderer was feeding you, made you very unease.

" Try to not think too much about it, it's just the way things will be for now… Isn't it so much better this way too? We will be able to spend so much time together and I just need you to stay in the attic whenever we have "guests" over. Do you understand me? "

" With just a little bit of magic I'm about to make the house more comfortable for you, to cook you meals endlessly and I can even make you a few more outfits. I'll be sure to make the house more appropriate for a human like you. "

He petted your head after you finished the plate, kissing your forehead and letting the dishes in the sink.

" Now, let me help you get up, we'll need to give you a bath and put you in more comfortable clothes, and then we can lay down. I'm sure you're still very tired after our little surgery. "

He helped you get up and walked you towards the bathroom… You couldn't help but feel worried about what you were doing.

Wasn't this all you ever wanted? To be adored by someone who treats you so well? Didn't you feel glad you accepted his offer?

Were you a bad person for wanting this?

Well, you didn't want THIS as in- Him eating people- All you wanted was to be with him for longer…

Why did you feel really scared whenever he touched with the same gentleness but none of the softness his skin used to have? You knew running wouldn't be a good idea since you couldn't see anything, and you didn't know the layout of the house well enough to memorize where the little door was...

Right?

" You're so stiff, my love! Are you scared of walking around your own house? I promise I kept everything intact, it's my house as well you know… And besides I'll always be here to guide you while you still recover. " You felt him nuzzle his hand against your neck, cold, hard. You wondered how much he changed now that he didn't need to pretend to look a certain way for you.

Maybe it was best to not know.

" … You're so silent right now, it almost feels like I have been running my mouth for hours! I didn't know you were such a silent type. " He teased, while kissing the back of your neck gently.

It was probably your lack of spatial awareness, but he somehow seemed a lot taller- As if it took some effort to lower himself down just to kiss you.

" My head… it hurts so much.."

" Aw, I know, love, I know. It'll take a while for you to feel better but it'll be so worth it… I'll help you learn new things, like how to feel the vibrations in my web, it'll help you "see" better. Or how to read braille, or how to walk around the house carefully, or how to tell someone is planning on running away during a conversation. "

He poked the sides of your stomach, an action that was supposed to be just couple's teasing but was actually quite terrifying and painful considering how sharp his fingers were.

" You couldn't be any less obvious love. I'm sorry if I scared you, I couldn't resist. " And yet he didn't sound irritated or annoyed, it could be that he was just pretending to not care… But he sounded more amused than anything.

" I'm just teasing you, doll! Come on, don't look like that, I'm just in a good mood! You know I can't stay annoyed at you. Let's hurry up and get you cleaned, alright? "

As he carefully started to shove you inside the bathroom you wondered if he didn't mess with something in your head alongside your eyes.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere male #yandere x reader #yandere coraline au #yandere beldam #yandere male beldam #gn!reader #special delivery request #special delivery oneshot

[sukunasweetheart]

//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry

Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro 💀 buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so 🧎‍♀️)

so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna 💀 ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please 😭😭😭 the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot 🤨

The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh 💁‍♀️

What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?

Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.

Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.

These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.

And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...

And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee 😭 what kind of behaviour is this sir

His facial expressions at yorozus yapping 💀 THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE 😭😭😭💀😭💀💀😭 omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl

How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP 😭 HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"

I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD 💀💀 he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: 🤓

Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping

#jjk #sukuna

[ghostlythunderbird]

As a Spouse and a Parent~ Task Force 141 

Pairings: Simon Riley, John MacTavish, Kyle Garrick, John Price X Fem! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Pregnancy, Prior Abuse, some NSFW is referenced

Word Count: 2,269

Author Notes: Is this feeding into a deep longing of mine? Why yes, yes it is. I'm sorry if this is poorly written I was writing this at 3am

Simon “Ghost” Riley

As a Spouse

Simon actually didn’t want to get married in the beginning, because if you wanted to get married it would only put a potential target on not just you but anyone you're close to. But I can assure you he wanted nothing more than to put a ring on your finger, and as a testament to that you should have heard how picky he was with your ring. Soap was definitely losing his mind while trying to help Simon out

After the initial hesitation in the first year of your marriage not much had changed between you and Simon, but your relationship continued to grow as Simon became more upfront with nothing that seemed to really bother him. Of course keeping everything related to his job confidential.

He became more doting on you, constantly craving for your attention whenever he’s at home. It was honestly comical that this large man seemed to melt into a puddle at the slightest touch from you, practically purring for you when you rake your hands through his hair when you cuddle in those late mornings. Even after this he will ask you not to share how he truly acts at home with any of his teammates, there often was the threat of not getting any more breakfasts in bed from him.

Oh and when I tell you this man can cook, I mean he can COOK. Like this man can cook full course meals but the only time you have to interfere is because he doesn't use seasoning very much. Secretly he enjoys these small moments with you, just spending quality time whenever he can is what helps him realize that getting married was the best decision.

As a Parent

When you told him you were pregnant for the first time he had a whole mental meltdown that ended up with him leaving to take a walk around your neighborhood. Now it wasn’t because he was angry, if anything he was terrified.

This is a man who has faced horrid abuse at the hands of his father, had his Brother, mother, sister in law, and his nephew murdered because of his job, had so many near death experiences, and killed men without a second thought. How could someone like him raise a child properly, much less raise one that wouldn’t hate him for who he was.

After returning and talking his fears out, you both soon started to prepare the arrival of your child. And lets be real he is fascinated with each step of your pregnancy, His favorite part was feeling his child react to his touch each time. Just to add this in because I just have a feeling this might happen, this man would definitely end up having at least 5 kids because he falls in love all over again with each one. Not only that but he wants to prove that he is a better dad than his own could have ever been.

Simon loves all his kids and will spend each moment he can with them, going to dance recitals, practice, helping with homework, putting them all to bed. Does he become a tired dad after 5 kids? Well of course he would but does he regret it, Never.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

As a Spouse

Oh my gosh, now this man right here is one of the Sweetest Hubbies out there. You talk about remodeling the kitchen? Well here is your new kitchen after a month. Craving a certain food, he’s either buying it or attempting to make it.

From the first point when I mean attempting I really mean “Attempting” because this man cannot cook to save his life. And before you try to say he can, he can cook a few things but hardly anything is seasoned because the military has ruined his sense of taste. While he can’t outright cook more than simple meals like grilled cheese sandwiches it doesn't mean he can't help chop up ingredients or be your taste tester. His favorite thing to do is help you bake and you know this man will be licking the spoon and the bowl, he ended up stealing it once and locked himself in the bathroom so you couldn't stop him.

When he's home you can guarantee you're gonna be cuddled to death by him, he hardly ever lets you leave and if you're gone for more than five minutes he's going to look for you and become a human koala. Johnny I feel like is a very affectionate lover and will do anything to find a compromise if you two can't agree on something. He never makes big decisions without you as in his eyes being married means you have to work together not against each other.

As a Parent

Ok let's be real here out over everyone in the task force Johnny has the BIGGEST Breeding kink out there, and like most men he isn't much of a fan of condoms simply because it takes out the intimacy. He has a true addiction to cumming inside you so it's no surprise you end up becoming pregnant.

When you tell him you're pregnant he would let out the biggest yell and then tackle you into a bear hug while crying from pure joy. After finding this out he immediately called and told both of your families. He's very invested with both yours and the baby's development over time. His favorite thing to do is to fall asleep on your lap with his head near your bump no matter how big or small it is while running his hand over it.

While he does get prepared once you start reaching the end of your pregnancy it doesn't stop the military one bit. After hearing he would end up deploying towards the end he was devastated, while he understands you cant stop when you're called back to base he wanted nothing more to stay home and would even risk going AWOL.

He would constantly facetime you everyday when he's gone, and while he wasn't physically there for the birth of your child he did encourage you from the phone while being hundreds of miles from home. And when he was finally able to finally come home? He gathered you both up in his arms and refused to let go.

But as your child grows up I can definitely say Johnny is the most supportive and fun dad out there. He wants nothing more than to see his kid grow up to be a respectful and easy person who still takes time to appreciate the little things and know when to have a little fun.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

As a Spouse

This man I feel like can be often overlooked so here we're gonna give him a whole bunch of lovins here. Gaz is more of a selfless lover by heart, so be prepared to be showered in love and attention 24/7. Trying to read a book? Well now you're both reading a book because he wants to constantly be in your presence.

While Kyle is home he would definitely want to go on walks and hikes with you just so you're both exploring together. That being said he tries to plan yearly vacations for you both wherever you both decide to visit. Like Simon, Kyle wants to spend as much time with you as he can while he's home. The awful part about his job is to think that there might be a last time he would ever see you, so he wants to take advantage of every second.

Kyle loves to talk about your future together, wondering about your lives of what could happen or what could have been. His favorite part though is to talk about settling down somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of the big cities in the UK. Having a little house in a village far out into the countryside where the both of you can live in peace.

Maybe there are often times where he thinks that your dreams of living out your lives together may never become a reality when coming back after a rather rough mission. You will have to talk him out of those thoughts just to remind him that even on the roughest days you'll always be by his side even when he can't see you.

As a Parent

This man is NOT prepared to hear that you're pregnant. Wanna know what he does when you wait until he comes home to tell him? This man straight up faints from the overwhelming news. After hearing you freaking out after coming to he just wraps you up as you're both on the floor and just says “This wasn't in our road map, love” as a joke.

It does take him off guard to understand that he's not only fighting the darkness just to protect you but for his child now. And to say that it keeps driving him forward to survive every mission more than ever before is a vast understatement.

Kyle ends up asking you one day after being home for a week on how many you both feel comfortable with having, you both decide on having two. Over time his excitement continued to grow the bigger your child got and when I tell you this man keeps buying toys and baby clothes I'm not joking. He's a hoarder of baby stuff now

When your little one is finally born this man has constant tears that the nurses even joked that your husband cried more than you while in labor. He's mesmerized by this child, that while you fall asleep he begins to pledge his life for the newborn in his arms. Gaz as a dad is one of the sweetest things in the world, always wanting to be involved in his children's lives and to spend every minute with them.

John Price

As a Spouse

This man is by far the biggest romantic out there without a doubt, always wanting to surprise you when you least expect him to be home. His favorite memory was when he came in with you eating ice cream on the couch and he grabbed you from behind, he didn't regret having to clean the couch afterwards.

You better expect he's gonna take you out whenever he gets home too, like this man WANTS to show you off no matter where you go. You both go out to a fancy restaurant you're getting shown off, at a taco truck just down from your shared home. Well guess what you're still getting shown off even if you're dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt.

Don’t blame this man for any of it because he's just so in love with you he can't help himself. But if he had to choose between staying at home or going out without a doubt he would choose to stay in with you and just enjoy the limited time he has. While yes sometimes he has to bring home paperwork he still finds a way such as having you curled up in his lap over his tights and having a blanket draped over the both of you.

That being said there have been times you've both fallen asleep in the chair and you both totally have NEVER tipped the chair back. It definitely became an inside joke between the both of you but it's something you both never mention to anyone else.

As a Parent

You and John have talked about what you might do if you ever decided to have kids, but you've both tried to be as safe during your “Adult” time but it seems that life said otherwise. While you had no reason to be upset or nervous about telling John you couldn't help the nagging feeling of anxiety. You don't tell him right away, but you rather plan it around one of your nightly walks.

At first he thought you were messing with him and doing one of your pranks again, but after seeing your serious face he was speechless. After the initial shock he pulls you in and kisses you, he lets out a laugh after pulling back before resting his hand over your stomach. John tries to be around as much as he can for the majority of your pregnancy, but life as an officer is a very demanding one.

While he's gone on deployments he tries to stay in contact as much as he can, and if he doesn't have service he keeps a picture of you and a sonogram picture of his little one tucked away in his tactical vest. The only person he shows and talks about his new child with is Simon, because this man is dealing with 5 kids even after saying he's too old for this life.

You end up giving birth right before John was getting ready to land, and let's just say this man threatened a lot of people just so he could get to the hospital as soon as possible. John overall as a parent would definitely be doting but he knows when he needs to put his foot down, even if it does end up drawing tears. He’s one of those dads too that definitely lets his kids do whatever to him, especially if he has a daughter.

#simon riley x reader #john price x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #cod modern warfare #cod mw2

[thebigbiwolf]

Starvin', Darlin' - Chapter 1

Pairing: Not quite friends to lovers Astarion x OC/F!Tav

Chapter Summary: Astarion knows his power is waning, and seducing their leader Evelyn has gone poorly at best. If he is to keep himself in the tiefling's good graces, he's left with no other options. He must drink from a thinking creature.

Everything goes according to plan... until it doesn't.

Fic Tags: Minor spoilers for Act 1, The Bite Scene, Emotional slow burn, Angst, Teasing, Frottage (god I'm sorry), Pining, This is my first ever fic so idk how to tag things appropriately but you get the gist.

Fic Warnings: Eventual Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubcon (I cannot stress this enough), Bloodlust/Loss of control, Mentions of blood, lmk if you need anything else tagged.

Word Count: 6.1k

Read on Ao3: Here

A/N: I started this as a way to get this fruity fuck out of my head but I think I just made the situation worse. If you know me, no you don't. If you've followed me for a long time, sorry in advance. I may make this a mini-series depending on time and reception, but we'll see! OC is a rogue who seduces men to gain their favor but we'll get to that in later chapters.

Astarion's trance did not come easily that night; his hunger manifesting as a throbbing headache that refused to subside. It had been hours of tossing and turning in his tent, willing his body to settle, forcing himself to ruminate on the past few weeks.

Before he joined this disgustingly merry little group of adventurers, hunting rabbits and the occasional boar had been enough to sustain him. In fact, dining on larger animals had been a significant upgrade from the meager flies and rats he’d become so accustomed to under his master’s rule, but that was before all of this incessant hard labor. 

He could feel his strength waning over the last several days. His senses were dulling, his reflexes numbed. Just this morning, he had failed to gain the upper hand with a particularly nasty kobold. He paid for it dearly when the damned thing all but pummeled him into the ground. 

Luckily, Lae’zel had been there, hammer at the ready to divorce its jaw from its head. Beautifully done, by the way, but his blunder did not go unnoticed. All this sneaking around for barely a nibble during his watch was beginning to take its toll.

Astarion knew he was on thin ice, considering his relationship with their fearless, incomparable leader began with him pulling a knife on her and grappling her to the ground -  in front of the damn wizard, no less. Some friction was to be expected.

But things hadn’t progressed much between the two of them since then. The pair rarely saw eye to eye on anything, and she seemed to have an innate passion for berating him over his unwillingness to stop for every single injured bird or helpless child as they traveled - as if playing the part of a hero was a favorable distraction from the literal time bomb in both their party and their heads. 

“The world is full of potential allies, Astarion,” she had told him, sprinkled with a hint of her usual irritation. “I’m simply expanding our network.” As if a group of starving refugees and mud-slinging tree huggers were going to find them a decent healer any sooner. At this point, he’d heavily considered taking his chances with the goblins. At least they knew how to have fun.

What made matters even more frustrating was that Evelyn was seemingly unaffected by his charms.

Just how exactly was he supposed to secure his place under her protection when the woman barely spared him a second glance? Surely he wasn’t losing his touch. He was a master of seduction. Thousands of others had thrown themselves at his feet for far less effort. He’s had centuries of practice. The mere notion would be ridiculous.

In fact, he couldn’t remember a single moment in the last two hundred years where his advances had been so callously brushed off. Every attempt to make her laugh with his (admittedly morbid) quips was met with her chastising him for being insensitive and making threats to send him back to camp. She dismissed every flirtation, even if her lovely little blush betrayed her. She seemed determined to make him play her little game. He just hasn’t quite figured out what the rules are, yet.

Astarion couldn’t afford to take any more chances. If sleeping his way into her good graces wasn't an option, he was left with little choice. He wanted to make himself indispensable, so he was going to have to take drastic measures to ensure that his strength and physical prowess would never come into question. At least, not again.

He would have to drink from a thinking creature.

The idea of it was as invigorating as it was terrifying. He had spent the last two centuries enduring unimaginable cruelty, starved in ways mortals couldn’t begin to imagine--for years--without any reprieve. 

No, starving doesn’t even scratch the surface. No words could ever describe the tortuous, gnawing, ravenous hunger that consumed his every waking moment under the heavy weight of Cazador’s boot.

Though, Cazador wasn’t here now, was he? 

Curious.

Astarion had spent some time ruminating on who to approach before settling on Evelyn, though his options were limited at best. The githyanki was entirely out of the question; gods forbid he get caught, she would make quick work of him without allowing him so much as a single word of explanation. Shadowheart was…tempting, but that mark on her hand frequently caused her pain, and who knows if that magic would have any affect on him or worse, her taste? And Gale, well, he would rather subsist on a diet of garlic sprinkled with holy water before he put his lips anywhere near that man.

So, Evelyn it was. The tiefling wasn't terrible to look at. She was a younger woman full of vitality, so surely she wouldn’t miss a bit of her blood. He would just have to mind the horns. 

He would be in and out. A quick nibble, then he'd be right as rain. One bite, he tells himself, barely enough to leave a mark. Then, he’ll pass it off and say that they had been attacked by bats during his watch and, not wanting to wake everyone, he quietly dispatched them and saved the day. Unfortunately, not before one of those wretched little beasts managed to puncture their illustrious hero. It was the perfect plan. Infallible. They'll eat it right up.

He continues passing through camp undetected, catlike in his silence, but when he reaches the canvas entrance of her tent ready to pounce, he freezes at the sight of her.

She looked…different while she slept. Softer, gentler, almost; surrounded by a nest of fur blankets, snoozing away instead of attacking his ego. Her hair was puddled beneath her head and horns like dark, red wine; rich and unrestrained by her usual loose bun. 

Another realization hits him: this is the first time Astarion has ever seen her in her sleep clothes, a simple basic black wrapping across her breasts. Practical. Of course.

Her skin is pale enough to rival his own, even with the warmth of the firelight. She’s lying on her side, her uncovered shoulder lightly dusted in freckles, much like her cheeks. Her lips are slightly parted, and in the silence of the night air, he can hear her light, even breaths.

Cute, he thinks to himself. He could almost forgive her for being so maddeningly aloof with a face like that. Almost. 

Astarion leans over to brush her hair away from her neck; the strands softer than he had anticipated. The thrum of her pulse underneath is magnetic. It pulls at his very being, beckoning him closer.

Settling on his knees beside her, his arms form a cage around her body.

He takes in the image of her form one last time and allows himself a moment to savor it. She is toned and lithe, much like himself, but smaller. Perfect. Delectable. 

He bends closer, feeling her gentle puffs of breath on his shoulder; the warmth of her body. His ears ring with anticipation; manicured nails clench the sheets by her head.

She’s going to be so-

Something brushes his leg, hidden beneath the furs.

Her tail. He forgot about her bloody tail.

Evelyn stirs, and fully awakens right as his teeth are at her throat, eyes meeting his. 

Shit.

“Shit.”

With incredible speed, she reflexively reaches for the dagger closest to her pillow, lunging at him. He just barely seizes her arm in time to save himself from being skewered.

“What in the hells are you-” he clasps his palm over her mouth to silence her.

The girl’s eyes are wild with panic, their golden hues burning a hole in his skull. He notices them flit down to where his body hovers over hers before she begins to struggle against him. “No, no, shh,” he whispers. “It’s not what it looks like, I swear.” 

Her expression shifts from panicked to confused. She ceases her squirming. Good. Well, not good, but better. He can work with this.

“When I take my hand away, you have to promise not to scream and wake the whole camp,” he continues, hushed, “unless you’d like for them to find us tangled up in your bedroll. You wouldn’t want to give them the wrong impression now, would you, darling?”

Her eyes widen. Her face flushes deep red, warming his palm against her skin.

There, he thinks, that should-

Her body turns, and suddenly he feels the hard edge of Evelyn’s knee make contact with the corner of his ribs. A direct hit. Pain shoots up his chest as he rolls off of her and onto his side, clutching himself and coughing, heaving air back into his lungs.

She hurriedly covers herself with her sheets, glaring at him as he struggles to collect his breath. He can see her fuming through the tears forming in the corner of his vision. If looks could kill, he’s sure she would have him skinned alive. Maybe use what's left of him to scare away the crows. 

She’s still holding the knife out toward him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What do you think you’re doing in here?” 

A fair question, one he was not prepared to answer. Perfect. He’s just going to have to wing this. Possibly with two broken ribs. He can’t believe he expected this to go any smoother.

“I-I wasn’t going to hurt you.” He raises a hand and falls back on his thighs with a grunt, grimacing in pain. His other clutches his side, a bit of sweat forming at his brow. “I just…” 

Okay, this is it. He’s got this.

“I just needed, well,” 

Aaaaand,

“Blood.”

There. Excellent form, Astarion. Good show.

“I - You needed what?”

She blinks at him, whether in disbelief or shock, he cannot say.

It takes a moment before his words start to sink in. She takes that time to scan over his body, purposefully. 

He couldn’t quite tell if she was looking for something or if she was deciding whether or not to believe him, but then again, what other explanation could he give? 

He works over his options in his head, considering just how difficult it would be to pass this all off as a terrible joke, but just as he’s about to open his mouth to start on damage control, he hears Evelyn heave a deep sigh. She lowers her weapon, then tosses it to the side, massaging her eyes in frustration. 

Oh. Well, alright.

After some time, he watches her expression soften into understanding as a few notable things dawn on her. He’s never really eaten any meals with them, has he? Then there was the drained boar, which he so carelessly left out by the road.  The damned beast hadn’t even taken the edge off that night, and he was so desperate to quell the nagging ache in his stomach that it lay there forgotten until she found it the next morning. He admitted to her himself that it had been drained by a vampire, after all…

A bit of silence follows.

Astarion doesn’t say a word, doesn’t dare move a muscle. He just allows her the time to process whatever she’s feeling. What’s important is that he’s still alive, she hasn't run him out of camp, and she hasn’t screamed for help. 

He may be able to salvage this, yet.

She scratches the back of her head, carding her fingers through her hair to ease her irritation before finally meeting his gaze.

“Astarion.” The sound of his name leaving her lips pulls him from his thoughts. He can see the disappointment on her soft features just as plainly as he can feel it humming through their psionic link. 

He didn’t think himself capable of guilt, but there was an emotion akin to it brewing within his chest. Ugh. He breaks eye contact, searching for anything to pull his attention away from his discomfort. The miscellaneous bags of clothing and trinkets she had scattered about her tent were just oh so fascinating. And was that a new hairbrush? Hm. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

He’s taken aback by her question. He expected a more offensive reaction. A few insults, maybe ones pertaining to his sharp teeth or bloodlust, but an olive branch?

After all the lies, the invasion of privacy, and the failed attempt at assault?

She really is just full of surprises.

“Well, we aren’t exactly close, you and I. Though, you must admit, I’ve made several attempts to…” He waves a hand between them for emphasis, “mend the gap, so to speak.”

“Well, have you ever considered maybe not being such an asshole?”

Ouch.

But in fairness, no.

“I…” He thinks carefully about what to say next. The buzzing behind his eye socket acts as a threat, reminding him of the very fragile barrier between their minds. Should she choose to dig her claws in and pry the information out of him, she may find more than he's comfortable sharing, so Astarion makes a decision that surprises even himself. 

He chooses to be genuine.

“At best, I was sure you’d say no. More likely, you’d ram a stake through my ribs.” He gestures towards the dagger at her side. “But believe me, I’m not some monster. I’ve never killed another person.”

Evelyn raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Well, not for food,” he quickly corrects. “I’ve been subsisting on animals. Boars—like the one you found the other day—deer, kobolds, whatever I can get my hands on.”

“And what exactly was the plan here? You were just going to kill me and expect the others not to notice?” 

He recoils at the accusation but fights to keep his expression neutral. “I had no intention of killing you. I would never do such a thing.” He leans in closer to her and lowers his voice, as if letting her in on a secret. “We need each other.” 

Evelyn shifts to lean her weight on her arm as she listens, dark hair falling to the side of her shoulder. With the new level of exposure, he can hear her pulse settling into a more comfortable rhythm. 

He swallows. Hard. His hunger is rearing its ugly head again, just at the sound of her.

Oh well, might as well lay all the cards out on the table while we’re at it.

He takes a deep breath, steeling himself, and continues, “As it stands right now, I’m too slow. Too weak. If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer. Fight better.” There is a question hidden in his words, a favor to be asked.

She seems pensive as she considers him, mulling over everything he’s said in her mind. She lifts a thumb to her mouth and starts nibbling on her nail, no longer looking at him. Nervous too, no doubt. How could she not be with what he’s asking of her, as if he had any right to ask in the first place? 

“I understand you detest me, but-”

Evelyn appears to snap to some conclusion, sitting up straighter and placing her arms to her sides before she responds.

“No, I should detest you, Astarion, but I don’t. You just don’t impress me.”

Wow.

It feels as though he’s been slapped. He barks out a laugh that’s a bit too loud for the intimate setting, trying to mitigate the damage to his ego. “Excuse me?”

She has the nerve to shrug at him. “I’ve seen every trick you’ve used to fill your little black book, probably a thousand items over. I’ve used them all myself. So, frankly, I'm uninspired.”

For the first time in his undead life, he’s totally speechless. His face contorts in indignation, disbelief. This devil.

There is something dangerous in her expression as she leans further forward, neck tilted, exposing herself to him. Her eyes are hooded, with long lashes casting shadows over her cheeks. Her shoulders relax as she lifts her chin to stare down her nose at him, sneering. 

He works his jaw, clenching the muscles unconsciously.

“Astarion, men are idiots. I’ve spent my entire adult life toying with them and robbing them blind. I’ve heard and seen it all. You really believed a few empty praises and mediocre jokes would have me jumping into bed with you? 

Wha- Mediocre?

He opens his mouth with every intention of retaliating, but Evelyn’s palm unexpectedly rests itself on his calf, and the action stuns him into silence. She begins leisurely dragging her nails up towards his thigh. 

His body responds involuntarily; eagerly, frustratingly, the delicate little motion leaving his skin prickling with excitement. 

She regards his chest, admiring the hard planes of muscle. Then, her attention slowly inches down the toned curve of his abs until, finally, they stop at where his cock hardens disobediently beneath his pants.

“Your pretty face doesn’t detract from the fact that you’re still just a man.”

It finally clicks.

She’s baiting him, attempting to get a rise out of him. 

Hm. Impressive.

Normally, at this point in her little game, he assumes most men would take her flirtations at face value. They would likely mistake this performance as an enthusiastic plea to bed her, but Astarion is not like most men. He sees her little game for what it is and recognizes it with ease because he has spent lifetimes playing it himself.

She leans back, satisfied with her little show, and smirks at him.

“So, you admit I have a pretty face?” He teases, his own smile twisting, becoming more mischievous.

She rolls her eyes, but this time she laughs. It’s a soft sound, genuine.

A pinkish hue crawls up her face and paints the tips of her pointed ears, but he can’t discern if that's supposed to be part of the act or, more likely, an unfortunate side-effect of the living experience. He’s finding it hard not to admire her dedication, regardless. 

Well, that’s quite enough of that. Back to business, then.

“It’s settled,” Astarion clasps his hands together, “I’ll just need to impress you with my more eclectic talents if I am to earn your favor. We can start by gracefully slaughtering a few goblins, depending on how the rest of tonight goes. Which is entirely up to you, of course.”

The tiefling squints at him. “Oh no, if you want something from me, darling, you’re going to have to ask politely. With manners. You have those, don’t you? Familiar with them, at least?”

Under normal circumstances, he would find this amusing; nothing like a little role reversal to spice up the evening. But this feels different, heavier, as if her feigning indifference will alleviate the weight of what he's asking of her.

Fine. He supposes relinquishing a little bit of his pride is a fair price to pay.

He takes a deep breath. "Please." 

"Please, what?" She lifts an eyebrow at him expectantly. "Come on, Astarion. Use your words. I know you’re quite fond of them."

He scoffs at her shamelessness, and for a moment, he honestly considers whether this is worth it, but he can't back out now. He'll make it through this, surely. He's been through worse. 

Through gritted teeth, he barely spits out, "Please, may I drink from you?" 

Gods. He's going to be sick.

"Good boy. That wasn't so hard, was it?" 

He’s going to fucking kill her.

There is an uncomfortable silence that follows. So many unspoken questions and a rising suspense that makes Evelyn adjust herself uncomfortably where she sits. Astarion is also musing to himself, still wondering how it's all come to this. Why did he choose her, again? Something about her not killing him right away? Death may have been preferable to this, actually, but he is pulled back to reality when she finally speaks up.

“So," she's picking lint off one of her pillows, avoiding his gaze as she asks, "how exactly should we do this?”

Well, it occurs to him that he doesn’t actually know. He understands the mechanics behind it, of course, but how exactly were they supposed to go about this?

Should he tell her that he’s never actually fed from a person before? Would it make her more or less comfortable to know that he’s just as clueless about this as she is? 

No. He decides against it. Astarion has always done best when he’s playing the role of the confident seductor. This should be no different. He’ll just treat this as if he’s bedding a virgin: guide her, take things slow, and she’ll no doubt be begging him for more soon enough. It’ll be easy. All she has to do is behave.

“Lie back and get comfortable.”

He moves himself closer to her, settling at her side as she does what she’s told. The flap of the tent remains open, letting in the faintest amount of warmth and illuminating Evelyn’s features. With such close proximity, he can see the gold flames within her irises flickering and dancing, a genetic trait attributed to some luckier members of her race, and a feature of her’s that Astarion would have never otherwise noticed. 

He can hear her pulse quickening as he closes the space between them, lifting himself a bit to settle above her, once again caging her between his arms. One of his knees parts her legs, and he can tell in the quietness of her tent that she’s struggling to hide her uneven breaths. Her stare is intense, but he can’t read the meaning behind it.

He decides to give her another out, just in case. Better safe than sorry. 

“We don't have to do this, you know,” his voice is composed, as if his body wasn't currently screaming with anticipation. “I appreciate the consideration, regardless.” 

“I’m fine.” Her response is clipped, dismissive. Her face remains stoic though her fingers fidget with the blankets at her sides. She had moved the furs to give him better access to her body. The darkness inside him preens at the concept.

Best get on with it, then.

He leans down and, unable to help himself, takes in the scent of her: woodsmoke and the faintest hint of vanilla, which he had watched her pick up from a merchant in the grove just the other day. “For Gale’s cooking,” she amended, when he gave her a questioning look.

He gives her one more moment to stop him.

She doesn’t.

A bit of pressure on the skin before it snaps and gives way, his fangs finally sinking into her. He can feel Evelyn’s body tense at the sudden intrusion. She hisses through gritted teeth, her arms involuntarily raising at her sides, reaching for him, but she stops herself before she touches him. He wants to tell her it's fine, expected, even, the need to ground herself, but all of his higher thoughts are plunged into complete chaos when he finally registers her taste. 

Every cell in his body awakens.

The iron flavor of her floods his throat and sets his nerves ablaze. Its heat fills, expands, and splits every crack in his self control into deep, cavernous fissures. 

A groan escapes Astarions throat before he has the chance to quell it. Of course it would be like this - drinking from a thinking creature. Drinking from her. He understands now why Cazador forbade this. Before, he had assumed it was a matter of keeping his spawn weak and compliant, but this was entirely different. This was far more than a method of control. The bastard had been withholding ecstasy greater than he’d ever known.

A feeling swells in him, crashing like waves through his veins. Warmth. It invades him and fills every fiber of his being. He wasn’t naive enough to believe his first time wouldn't have some sort of great, emotional impact, but this? 

This was everything. How was he ever supposed to come back from this?

"Agh - Astarion," he barely registers her pathetic little whine through the haze. She finally allows herself to grab onto him, the loose sleeve of his nightshirt tightening in her fist. For purchase, he tells himself with what little is left of his consciousness, practical. That is until he lowers himself fully onto her in an attempt to relieve the strain on his biceps.

With no space left between their bodies, he doesn’t anticipate the blazing heat of her core on his thigh, even through the several layers of clothing. She gasps at the sudden pressure,  fingers twitching, nails digging little crescent shapes into his skin. What surprises him most, though, is when the taste in his mouth melts into a flavor so much sweeter. 

Something primal within him recognizes it instantly; it twists in his gut and sits there heavily, as if the emotion were his own: arousal.

Oh.

She is burning for him.

Good.

After all of that teasing, the woman he’s spent weeks enduring endless lectures from actually does desire him, or at the very least desires his body. Which is just as favorable, in his opinion. It’s just nice to know all his hard work hasn’t gone to waste. 

If she lets him live, he's going to spend every waking moment tormenting her over this. His lips vibrate against her skin as he chuckles to himself, causing some of her blood to run down his chin in hot rivulets, blooming new stains onto her sheets. 

He knows he’s had enough. He means to let go, he truly does, lest he end up draining their groups' only hope of survival. Surely that wouldn't go over well with their companions. Pitchforks, and all that. 

But her whimpering, her heat, coupled with the ferocity of his hunger, all provoke a feeling that has been building beneath the surface which he’s unable to name; it's desperate and possessive, a predator guarding its kill from hungry scavengers. The monster in him casts a dark shadow over his mind as he feeds. His body no longer feels as though it is his own, betraying him; a slave to the demands of his appetite. 

He needs her, needs all of her, and he cannot will himself to stop, too lost in sensation and the sound of her mewling to bow to his higher thinking. 

He mindlessly rocks his weight into her and grunts—a slow, unintentional grind against her mound. The motion comes easy to him, like breathing - instinctual. The blunt edge of his clothed cock drags deliciously through her parted thighs. Evelyn’s breath hitches at the feeling, her squirming beneath him giving him the sickest form of satisfaction, but the animal within him demands her compliance.

His hand gathers her loose hair and pulls, growling, warning her to keep still. She whines at the force, back arching. The other grabs her arm, pinning it down, and tightens, thumb gently stroking against her wrist.

"Astarion,"

She’s no doubt making a mess in her smallclothes as she quivers beneath him, all flushed cheeks and furrowed brows. She may deny it later, but her taste tells him everything he needs to know.

Her body is burning against his cool skin, and her gasps are only spurring him on. He laps at the wound, dragging his tongue up the length of her throat, indulging himself in her. It's too much. 

He feels her pulse weakening, her rhythm slowing.

It isn't enough. 

He's about to latch on to her again, teeth at the ready and blinded by his eagerness, when he suddenly feels a piercing sensation behind his eye - the tadpole, he assumes, writhing in panic. Screeching at him to open himself to it. The discomfort is just enough to pull him back into his body. Then Evelyn's voice invades his mind. 

‘Astarion, enough!’

He disentangles his limbs from hers, practically jumping off of the poor woman. He’s gasping for breath as he comes to his senses, the mix of her blood and his saliva staining his lips pink. It dribbles down his chin. He wipes his face with the back of his knuckles and licks them clean.

But then, the cold realization of what he’s done is thrust upon him like a bucket of iced water, shocking him back to the present. He’s going to need to come up with one hell of an apology to get himself out of this one. Or maybe he should just run? Baldur’s Gate is really only a few weeks travel at most. 

“Shit,” he whispers, more to himself than to her. "Are you alright, dear?"

Evelyn's eyes meet his. Her pupils are blown, almost entirely overtaking the gold of her irises when she glances away from him to assess the damage.

"Gods damn it," she quietly groans and applies pressure to the wound, thankfully finding that it isn't too deep or particularly painful. She tends to it, wiping the thin sheen of sweat from her brow. She searches for a rag as she avoids his concerned stare

A deep purple bruise spreads across her pale skin. Small red droplets trickle down the length of her nape, dampening her black breast band before soaking into it and disappearing entirely. He collects himself, willing his mind to cease its incessant urge to lick the damned liquid from her neck. She is flushed and sweating, unbalanced, panting from exertion as much as her own embarrassment. Her dark hair is a tangled mess from his attention. She looks ravaged. 

It… suits her.

Astarion clears his throat, trying his best not to get caught admiring his handiwork.

She was right about one thing. He was, at least in some respects, just a man... 

“Here,” he insists, grabbing one of the smaller furs and holding it up to her. She takes it from him without acknowledgement.

“I -” He begins, but he’s at a loss for words. What does one say in this situation? ‘My sincerest apologies. I don’t know what came over me! I must have gotten swept up in the moment!’ as if that pitiful excuse would overshadow the fact that he manhandled and almost devoured her.

He wants to laugh, but the sound dies in his throat.

He begins to worry that she really may not forgive him. He fears she'll wake the whole camp, or maybe finally cast him out like the monster he is. He wouldn't blame her. She took a great leap of faith in trusting him with this, and he rutted against her like some horny bugbear. Or worse, a teenager, he sneers.

Evelyn pulls the rabbit skin away from her neck, examining it. The brown hairs are matted and crimson, but the bleeding has stopped. She runs her fingers over the puncture marks, feeling the skin dip slightly where his fangs pierced her. She sighs with resignation, surely thinking about how the others will approach her with a plethora of questions tomorrow morning, face reddening at the idea.

“You could have warned me, you know.” She rolls her eyes at him. “I didn’t realize I was agreeing to…all of that.” 

His heart sinks. 

Of course she thinks it was on purpose. I mean, look at him. He’s all but thrown himself at her since the moment they met. He’s spent this entire time playing the part of the rake. It's only natural she assumes the worst.

“Evelyn, darling,” speaking her name aloud brings her focus back onto him. 

The gravity of it is suffocating, condensing the already small space they shared. The tension pulls at something undefinable within him that he thought was long dead—a sincerity that betrays the character he’s been crafting for as long as he can remember. 

It sways him.

More truths to forgive more transgressions, then. A fair transaction.

“I’ve had this condition for over two centuries, but, truth be told,” he clears his throat again, because ugh this is awful. And why does she have to stare at him like that, with her earnest, wet eyes? “You were my first. I’ve only ever fed on beasts.” 

The implication is there: how could he have known?

His confession takes her by surprise. “You don’t…” she pauses, taking everything that transpired tonight into consideration. He must be giving her a look akin to pleading, because she takes mercy on him and disregards whatever question she was about to ask. 

“Please tell me you didn’t do that to the boar.”

Seriously, a joke?

He barks out a laugh before he can stifle it. Whether it's from the sheer ridiculousness of the question or the disbelief towards her acceptance of it all, he truly doesn’t know.

“No, my dear. Just you, and you were delectable.”

Her expression is difficult to read. She’s not looking at him; refuses to, when she replies, “So then, did it work?”

Astarion moves to stand, peering down at her form. He exhales in relief, feeling as though he is a century younger. His muscles are lax; all the stress has been drained from his body. A novel experience. “Yes, I would say so. I feel stronger. My mind is clear. I feel…happy.”

He adds the last word in an effort to appease her, but it does ring true. His main source of joy since he contracted this affliction has been causing others pain, ripping out throats and such. This feels distinctly different, less exhilarating, but pleasant all the same.

“Well, I look forward to seeing you fight.” 

He acknowledges her, then stretches his back out, extending his arms to the sky with his hands clasping behind his head. The motion pulls the rest of his nightshirt out of his trousers and tugs it upward, exposing the hard edges of his hips. He can’t confirm it, but he swears he sees her eyes flit quickly towards them before making an expeditious retreat.

“Shouldn’t take long. So many people need killing.” He lifts the flap of her tent to peek outside. No sign of anyone stirring, and the night is still young. Knowing the wildlife in this area, he may still have a chance to sate himself. With his newfound strength, he may even be able to wrangle up a bear. What a feast that would make.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, you’re invigorating, but I need something more filling.” He bows his head to her in thanks. 

He’s about to step outside, one foot exits the canvas before the rest of him, when it hits him that he feels…odd, uncomfortable leaving her like this. He can’t place his finger on why. He’s ridden atop many women and left without saying a word.

But, he supposes this is dissimilar.

Evelyn listened to him tonight, heard him out when anyone else would have carved him into pieces without second thought. She let him drink from her, forgave him for getting…carried away. 

The most shocking part of it all is that regardless of her dismissiveness, he now undeniably knows that she’s attracted to him. Yet, she didn’t capitalize on the opportunity when it arose to take advantage of his altered state; of his needs. With that, she’s shown him more kindness in the last hour than he’s experienced in his entire undead life. 

He likely owes her for this, of course, but there are worse fates he could endure.

The elf looks over his shoulder at her and catches her watching him intently, as if she wants to continue this conversation but can’t quite figure out what she wants to say. The intensity of her gaze almost forces him to turn back towards her, drawn to her by an unfamiliar ache; a thrill in his spine, the compulsion pulling at his chest like some sort of spell.

“This is a gift, you know.” The words escape him, hanging in the air between them with raw authenticity. He means to make himself sound more frivolous, but before he can edit them in his head, more truth spills from his lips, “I won’t forget it.”

His throat tightens. He considers her for a moment, wondering what he might find if he does turn to meet her eyes.

But, Astarion resists.

She must be exhausted. He shouldn’t take up any more of her time.

He leaves before she can respond. There wasn’t anything left for them to discuss, and he’s desperate to break free from the uneasy weight of her presence.

The second he steps fully outside, he feels as though he can breathe again, not that he needs to, being undead and all. 

What a strange feeling, that was. 

One he decides he’d rather forget. Best to not burden himself too much with it.

The taste of her lingers on his teeth. He finds himself savoring it for a moment too long before stalking towards the forest, confident. Ready to hunt. 

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion fic #astarion x tav #fanfic #bg3 #bg3 tav #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 oc #im muting every bit of social media i have after posting this lmfao #evelyn

[ariundercovers]

It's Not You (Frankie "Catfish" Morales x Reader)

Pairing: Frankie Morales x afab!bi/pan!reader (No use of y/n!)

Length: ~1.5k words

Summary: You accidentally start imagining a woman while Frankie's going down on you. Panic ensues.

Written a a first-go for the @triplefrontier-anniversary ! I hope this drabble doesn't totally suck, lol. I have another one in the works to keep the LGBT+ themes going!

As always, I'm super open to any and all (constructive) criticism. Let me know what you think, what you love, what you hate. I just like to hear from you!

“Oh fuck, fuuuuck-”

Your eyes are squeezed closed, Frankie’s head tucked tightly between your thighs. This was always one of his favorite ways to be - right in the middle of you, tongue working all over your folds and clit like he were the originator of the very action itself.

He’s an expert - absolutely brilliant at it, and he can always get you off in record time, faster than anyone ever could before him. So, this time, when your orgasm completely eludes you, feels entirely too far away for too long, you start to question yourself. 

What is wrong with your body? 

That’s when you squeeze your eyes shut and try your best to picture something that’ll help get you there. 

The sloppy sounds coming from his mouth and between your legs fuel your visions as you’re picturing him on top of you, inside of you, between your legs, and then, suddenly… blonde. Blonde and curvy and boobs on top of you, smothering you. Your eyes jolt open, the image crashing over you like a bucket of ice water, and then you reach down, tugging at his oily curls and pulling him up toward you the best you can manage.

“Fuck, baby, baby, stop, please.” You hate to even ask him something like this. You hate to lose the feeling of it, because it’s still good, even if it’s not quite getting you there right now. He stops immediately - you know he always would - and you whine as you roll your head and look down at him. “It’s not gonna work this time, I don’t think.”

His brows raise at you, confused, and then his face shifts to one of concern as he gets to all fours and closes your legs, shifting them off to the side so he can climb back up the bed and envelop you in his arms.

“What’s wrong, amorcita?” You sigh, closing your eyes and tucking yourself tightly into his chest, trying to figure out how to explain.

“I, uh… shit. It’s… I don’t-” He cuts you off, then, your inability to tell him what’s going on makes him even more nervous.

“What did I do? Tell me, please, so I don’t do it again. I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to, whatever it is.” You pull back from him just enough to look up at his face, eyes widening as you realize that he thinks this is his fault.

“Oh, Frankie… No. No no no no. It wasn’t… it could never be you. Hell, you’re the fucking best I think in the whole damn world, honestly. It’s not you. I promise.” You can see the visible shift, the sigh of relief he offers you as he settles against the pillows, tension evaporating out of his chest and shoulders.

“Okay. Then what is it?” Your teeth worry at your lower lip, unsure how to broach it. You’ve never been forward with him about any of this - about your sexuality, about the things you’d probably, ideally, want to be able to explore with him. You’re pretty sure he won't react poorly, but the truth is that you just don’t know.

You’re terrified to lose him.

Taking a deep breath, you shift away from him further so you can get a proper look at him, meet him eye to eye, and get a sense of the expression on his face, you gulp down the worry that’s lodged in the back of your throat.

“I, um… It was taking a long time, so I thought maybe if I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling it would help move things along, you know? But then I couldn’t stop thinking, and it was all you at first, but then suddenly it wasn’t and I, uh… I panicked. It was like instantly I couldn’t handle it anymore.” His face is still concerned as he reaches out to brush his hand along your bare arm, bringing your knuckles up to his lips and pressing a kiss there.

“What do you mean by ‘it wasn’t’?” His voice is soft, gentle. Like a feather brushing across your cheek or… something like that, at least. You do your best to answer.

“I, um… started picturing a… girl?” His eyes widen at you slightly and he tilts his head in your direction.

“Okay?” He responds. You blink back at him for a long while, trying to read his expression the best you can. You’re not getting much out of it, though, and you scrunch your brows in confusion.

“Okay?” He stares at you for a moment before his lips turn up in a slight smirk, shaking his head incredulously when he realizes you’re shocked by his response.

“Are you expecting me to be upset that you were thinking about someone else, or were you expecting that I’d be upset that it was a girl?”

“I, well…” You cut yourself off before you can blabber yourself too deeply into a hole. It sounds much stupider when he says it out loud, as it happens. You mentally smack yourself for a moment before you let out a deep breath and an uncomfortable laugh. “That sounds really dumb when you say it out loud.” 

He chuckles and brushes his fingers across your temple, then down to cup your cheek in his hand.

“Amor… You’re not going to scare me away just because you’re what… bi? Pan? Some other word that probably exists but I don’t totally understand? It doesn’t matter to me. I love you. As you are. Always.” You can feel yourself getting a little choked up at his admission, the honesty of it all really getting to you. You can feel the intensity of his love for you beaming from his face, right into your chest where your heart beats so fast and so loudly that you can practically hear it in your ears.

How in the world did you end up with the most perfect human on the planet? You can’t possibly even imagine another one better than this, more pure, more kind… it’s not possible. The very earth itself would shatter if such a person existed, you think.

Your own self-doubt creeps in and begs for validation once more, even though you know deep down that yes, of course he’s telling the truth. Of course. 

“Really? You mean that?” He just smiles back at you and shifts closer so he can lean forward and press his lips ever so gently against your forehead, one hand cupping the back of your neck as he does.

“Of course I do, baby. Come on. And for what it's worth, I’m not upset that you started thinking about someone else, either. Maybe it’s something we should talk about. Bringing in a third? If that’s something you think you need, that is.”

“What? You’d just… be okay with something like that?” He only smiles back at you, genuine and earnest.

“For you? Anything.” You shake your head in disbelief, sighing out a massive breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“I don’t deserve you, Frankie.” He huffs and shifts forward, caging you in with his arms on either side of your body. He looks down at you, head cocked to the side, before he leans down, lips attaching gently to your collarbone. He presses little kisses all the way up it, across to your shoulder, along the upper ridge of your collar and to the base of your neck. Then, his kisses turn to little licks and nibbles as he works his way up your neck and to your jaw, biting lightly right at the tip of your chin.

“You’re right. You deserve more than I can give you. I suppose I’ll just have to spend my life making up for that, won’t I?” His teasing tone is apparent as his lips continue their trek, up your cheek, across your cheekbone, your nose, and finally to your own lips. Your arms wrap around his upper body and pull him down onto you with force, needing to feel him pressed along your body.

“It really doesn’t bother you? Not at all?”  He shakes his head ‘no’ and then nuzzles his face into your chest, between your breasts, hands pushing them together toward his cheeks as he hums into your skin. He resurfaces just long enough to answer.

“Not even an ounce. I fucking love you, just like this.” You smile and close your eyes, reveling in his affections.

“Thank you, Frankie. I don’t even… I’m not sure what to say.” He keeps kissing you, all across your chest and breasts, hands massaging the tender flesh softly.

“Wanna let me try again?” You look down at him with a smile and a laugh, fingers reaching up to tug at his curls, pressing your fingertips into his scalp. You pull him up to you again, pressing your lips together for a long, hard moment.

“Absolutely, I do.”

#frankie morales x reader #writing #francisco morales #frankie catfish morales #francisco catfish morales #frankie morales #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #no beta we die like men

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Please don't make any sudden moves (you don't know the half of the abuse)

Or the AU in which WWX isn't as touchy as in canon

Warnings: implications of mental and physical abuse

Hopefully posting it properly this time because Tumblr got me fucked up the first time

But Lan Wangji has been spending enough time with Wei Ying, around him, to see the momentary flinch he's trying so hard to suppress, the flash of panic in his eyes every time someone else tries to initiate any kind of physical contact with him.

Wei Ying flinches.

Lan Wangji has keen eyes, and he notices things that others may not. And it's his keen eyes that see it - because otherwise, it's nearly impossible to pick up on if you don't know where to look.

Wei Ying flinches like somebody for whom touch has only been painful.

Lan Wangji knows, because he has seen it before.

Some of his cousins, react like that too, after they've been disciplined one too many times.

Even brother reacts like that sometimes. He's never told Wangji why, but it's not hard to guess. Especially as some of the elders do recount the unruly days of the First Jade out loud over tea every now and then, and applaud themselves for having disciplined him.

Lan Wangji knows what that means. He's been good - outstandingly, exceptionally good all his life so he could avoid it.

But Wei Ying isn't a Lan. The Jiang sect isn't like them. Jiang Wanyin doesn't flinch.

Why does Wei Ying?

They're in the library again.

Wei Ying is writing down the rules - or whatever it is that he's doing - and Lan Wangji finds himself studying the other carefully. There are no visible signs on his body, no marks or brands or anything. Even when they shared the cold springs, Lan Wangji didn't see anything out of place.

(Not that he looked that carefully over Wei Ying's naked glistening skin... but! Bruises and scars attract attention... but there were none.)

Wei Ying acts like his usual, unbothered self, humming as he writes, not a shadow of anything negative on his face.

It doesn't make sense.

He hands Lan Wangji some silly drawing an hour later, and when, irritated with the incessant noise of Wei Ying asking him all sorts of things, he angrily reaches over the table, towards Wei Ying, to throw the paper away - he sees it again.

The barely suppressed flinch, the wide eyes, the fear.

It makes Lan Wangji's stomach churn.

"Wei Ying..."

He doesn't reply, not knowing whether to open his mouth or keep quiet, eyes darting quickly between the paper and Lan Wangji.

He speaks as if he's weighing the words a hundred times before they come out, and he's watching Lan Wangji's reactions with a very poorly concealed panic.

“S-sorry...um... I didn’t think you’d actually get so angry with me... I was just trying to tease you a bit like I always do... I’ll just... go over there and finish my work now...”

Lan Wangji is left with even more questions now - and with the terrible realization that Wei Ying is... Wei Ying is scared of him.

Scared of him too.

"I wasn't- actually angry." He finally finds it in himself to speak a few agonizing minutes later. "Don't - you have no reason to be afraid of me." An attempt at a comforting smile. "I'll never hurt you."

Wei Ying stares at him, his eyes stormy and unreadable, before they slowly fill with tears that Wei Ying can't blink away.

"Sorry, I- I don't know why I..." he's quick to wipe the little droplets off his cheeks, despite the many that follow. "I... nobody ever noticed..."

"I am here, Wei Ying. If you wish to talk-"

Lan Wangji finds himself pulled into a hug over the little writing table, feels Wei Ying's tears fall against the side of his neck.

"I know you hate touching but... can we stay like this for a little while?"

"It is not comfortable."

And so, Lan Wangji easily pulls Wei Ying into his lap and refuses to think anything traitorous of the position they're in now.

Wei Ying burrows in his chest, wonders if he's dreaming or if something is possessing Lan Wangji right now - but decides to bask into it nevertheless.

"I've never been afraid of you, Lan Zhan. I'll never be."

---

There is war, bloodshed, Wei Ying disappears for three months and returns more dead than alive.

This time, he doesn't allow Lan Wangji to comfort him.

Wei Ying flinches again.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #writing attempts #i hope this posts right this time ugh

[riceys]

Could you write for schlatt?

I'm thinking an English/German girl who is his graphic design (does like his thumbnails and like website) and after late night and long discord calls he slowly realises he doesn't just see her as an employee or friend but something more? I saw this sort of idea some where recently and it's giving me brain rot. Plus the banter between an English/german person would be unhinged.

YESSS OMG ACTUALLY LOVE THIS ive thought about this so much recently and i know german soo

gonna do hcs for this :)

also im very bad at formatting so sorry about that (ill probably rewrite stuff after i figure out how the fuck to do it)

Jschlatt x german/graphic designer!reader hcs

warnings-some nsfw at the veryyyy end

Wilbur introduced you two after schlatt said something about needing an artist for his channel

'find graphic designer !!!' schlatt mumbled while writing on the dull yellow paper. He was in a call with some friends, not really paying attention to what they were doing as he was busy making a sort of to-do list

"schlatt are you there?" the thick accented voice brought schlatt out of his daze

"hm yea sorry whatd you say willbur"

"i said my mate is a graphic designer, i can send you her info if you want." wilbur repeated with a laugh

"oh shit yeah thatd be great man thanks"

definitely left the call to go talk to you after that

very caught of gaurd by your accent, wilbur had failed to mention the slight language barrier as you were used to doing work in german

"so its a little ram with a sweater" his voice suprised you, wilbur didnt say anything about him being american.

"a what?" you laughed at the foreign word nervously. He sounded intimidating and it was kinda hot???

"a uhh," he laughed pulling out his phone, "einen bock? i think." Any sense of intimidation melted away as he stuttered out the poorly pronounced german.

absolutely melts when you giggle at this ^^

he LOVES your laugh!!! specifically that he can hear the accent come through in it

once you start working for him finds a way to sneak your art into everything he does and pays you way more than he should be

"Schlatt this is like triple my rates, you really dont need to pay me this much"

"consider it a tip, toots"

flies you out to every single event he goes to. merch photoshoots? you're in every photo. creator clash? he bought you the best seats in the house. says its a "business thing". (its not)

gets to the point where you're spending every other month in Austin with him before you move out there.

when chuckle sandwich starts he begs you to do all the art for it too (not that you would've said no)

Also begs ted to have you on as a guest

guest turns into member after the first chuckle week, where schlatt insisted that you be there cause you made the art

finally asks you out the week after the 1st chuckle week where they stay for the week to decompress

took you to boa then going stargazing

asks you out in german

"Sehr Schön" you breath out as you look up at the stars. Schlatt next you is freaking out trying to get the courage to ask you out.

"Du bist Sehr Schön" He misspronounces, still managing to make you blush. He only knew what that meant because he had been studying how to ask you out in german all week.

He puts a finger under your chin to shift your focus to him before speaking, "y/n, Ich mag dich wirklich, wirst du mit mir ausgehen?"

It was obvious he had used google translate and taught himself how to say it as he mispronounced many words and had a slight stutter, but it meant the world to you

Pulling him in for a kiss you paused to look at him, "Du bist dumm, Jschlatt"

asks you to speak to him in German

teases you so much (lovingly obviously)

also (nsfw time)

learns how to call you a slut in german

when he fucks you so good and you start babbling in german

sorry if this wasnt great i kinda got carried away and its my 1st writing thingy

#jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x reader fluff #jschlatt #schlatt x reader #schlatt #riceywrites #jschlatt hcs #jschlatt headcanons

[cooliofango]

Could you do hcs for Pharah, Kiriko, and brigette where they walk in on their fem s/o and see their sh scars. Fresh or old or both whatever your more comfortable I know it’s a sensitive topic. And if you’re uncomfortable with writing nw!!! Have a good day :)))

Scars Headcanons

Pharah, Kiriko, Brigitte x F!Reader (Separately)

[TW: SH scars, although for these headcanons, they'll be old]

--------

I personally do not mind writing it in the sense that its vague enough to not make people uncomfortable! ^^' I personally haven't done anything like that to myself but I've had many friends and family that had so I sorta know the worry and pain seeing a loved one going through such a thing. I apologize if its portrayed poorly, but I shall do my best. I'd like to add that it most likely doesn't (and may not at all) have many specific wording that indicates that the reader is female unless I put in any specific action that takes note of the reader being a female, so these most likely will turn out to be more so GN but I will try to fit in some things for ya! Another apology I'd like to say is sorry for the long wait ^^!

--------

Pharah

She first saw them on you after you both had been training together for a few hours that day.

You were both resting, trying to cool off quicker by loosing a few layers of armor and extra clothing.

This, in turn, left you with your sleeves rolled up just barely enough to spot them under the cloth and close to where your elbow bends.

Pharah was silent at first, surprised by the sight.

You didn't even realize she had seen them at first until you looked to her to speak and noticed her looking at your arm.

At first, embarrassment crept up the nape of your neck and dyed your cheeks a soft red hue as you attempted to pull your sleeves back down.

Her hand has stopped you before you could, though.

It made your nervousness spike.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked up at her to see her softened eyes looking back at you.

"You don't need to be embarrassed."

Pharah spoke, though she didn't seem entirely sure how to appropriately respond to this.

As far as she knew, throughout your many years of knowing each other thanks to Overwatch and many other factors, there hadn't been any signs of you being in a dark place-- so much so that you had thought hurting yourself would do you any good.

Then again, the concept of it happening to someone in general wasn't foreign to her.

She knew how it can be rather silent at times, which applied in this case.

What relieved her was that none seemed fresh, meaning that you were either out of that dark place entirely, or are out enough to not hurt yourself.

Pharah did her best to relieve any awkwardness that may have arisen from this reveal.

There was a noticeable change of attitude from her, though.

Not in a bad way-- the exact opposite, actually.

She showed more care for you and was at your side a bit more than she used to be, even if she felt out of place wherever you two were.

As long as she could be there to help whenever you needed her to, then she'll make sure to be at your call as soon as she possibly could.

Kiriko

As a medic in her little group, seeing scars of any kind was not new to her whatsoever.

Because of this, it wasn't hard to spot the scars nor tell what kind they were.

By then, you were living together as roommates, paying rent together while you worked your little at home office job in your room and Kiriko goes out to protect the city from the corrupt Hashimoto Clan.

It was laundry day, so until the clothes were clean, you were stuck wearing a short sleeved shirt instead of the usual long sleeved ones you typically wore.

You didn't think too much on it due to Kiriko being out at the moment.

She was supposed to be out for a while-- or so you thought.

You were preparing to make yourself lunch when the door to your apartment swung open to reveal your smiling roommate with a box of donuts in hand, a treat you both love to share regularly.

You knew it was too late before you even thought to hide your hands behind your back, although you did so anyway for any off chance that she didn't actually see them.

Kiriko's faltering expression only aided in telling you that she had already saw them.

However, she still kept her smile.

It was just softer than it was before.

"I brought doughnuts home! I got extra of your favorite too!"

She didn't openly acknowledge the scars-- not because she didn't care, but because she didn't want you to be uncomfortable or feel the need to be anxious around her.

They seemed to be old, anyways, so they weren't something she felt the need to worry too much over.

The normalcy helped you to ease your nerves as well and seeing you visibly relax helped her to regain her energy as she began the daily routine of telling you about her day over sweets.

Brigitte

The both of you were just hanging out that afternoon.

Brigitte was fixing her shield in the shop and you sat to the side, passing her tools that she needed every now and then upon request.

You had went to pass her one when the tool slipped from your grasp, clattering to the ground loudly.

The both of you jumped at the sound, though Brigitte laughed a little at your clumsiness.

“Sorry, sorry!” You laughed along with her at first, sliding off your seat to bend down and pick it up.

Brigitte almost gasped, though her worry showed through clear as day as she spoke.

“(Y/N)-- what happened to your shoulder?”

She honestly didn’t recognize them as scars left there by your own hand. The only thing she knew was that for some reason, you had a healed wound that she doesn’t ever remember healing for you-- something she’s typically tasked with doing when your team goes out on a mission for Overwatch.

You quickly sat up with the tool in one hand and the other pulling down the sleeve.

Meanwhile, she had approached you with worry in her eyes, the half fixed shield forgotten about for the time being.

She gently grabbed your arm, looking you in the eyes.

“May I see? Please..?”

Her gloved grip was gentle, almost ghosting over your skin as she spoke.

The gentleness warmed your heart, your bottom lip lightly being caught under your teeth as you thought about it.

Though hesitant, you agreed and released your sleeve.

It was then she realized what kind of scars they were, sliding her thumb under the fabric to lift it up and get a better view of the scars.

A slight saddened look pulled to her features at the sight, her thumb slowly dragging over the markings.

Brigitte carefully tugged the sleeve back down and turned her attention to you, your eyes meeting from you keeping your gaze on her and only her.

You could hear your heart beat in your ears as anticipation washed over you.

The sound dulled out, however, when she gave a soft smile.

“Im glad that you’re okay now..”

She muttered softly to you, moving her hand down to hold yours for a moment instead.

She vows to always be a shoulder to lean on for you whenever you need it, which comforts you greatly, even if it’s not as needed now as it was before now that you had gotten passed that point in your life.

Returning to work-- or more so just casually helping her while she does her own thing-- was easy for you as you passed her the tool you continue to hold.

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch x reader #overwatch 2 x reader #overwatch pharah #overwatch kiriko #overwatch brigitte #pharah #kiriko #brigitte #pharah x reader #kiriko x reader #brigitte x reader

[kierancampire]

I have some more gender questions

So I must admit, I am struggling with understanding trans non-binary, my brain is having difficulty with this one. But it's been less than a month since I heard about it, I only just heard the term "trans umbrella" for the first time yesterday, also still very ill and tired, so this all is new to me and I think with time I'll get it, but for now, even after explanations my brain is struggling with it. I accept that people identify that way, I personally just am struggling to understand it is all

But I think one thing that will help, if anyone could answer, and again I am sorry if I word things poorly or say anything offensive, that's why I'm asking, to better understand to not cause offense. Anyway, yes I have some specifically non-binary questions that I think will help me better understand non-binary and also trans non-binary

So what is the difference between personality and gender identity? As an example, yes, for many years I severely struggled with being a man/male, and didn't really like being viewed as one. But I sort of changed what being a man means to me personally, and while society as a whole may not agree with it, for me it helped me embrace being a cis man but I don't view that as gender, I just view that more as personality. So how do you differentiate what's just your personality and the things you like/dislike, and what is gender identity?

But to go on further, and this is my second question. So I do believe that too many things are unnecessarily gendered, and I do believe people should be allowed to enjoy things outside of social constraints, for instance I don't think it makes you any less of a man to wear dresses or make up, and I find it stupid that toothbrushes, vitamins, razors and such are gendered. Then again in myself, I am aware I have "traditionally female" interests, like baking, knitting, fruity/floral scents, in a sense art, and yes, I do have a few "women's" clothing, but I personally don't believe these things make me less of a cis man and I feel no shame in liking them. But while I have seen others share this view, I have noticed at the same time that trans/non-binary people will wear dresses and make up to be fem, but have short hair and jeans/graphic tees to be masc, but doesn't that inherently go against the ideology that these things aren't gendered?

And a sort of third question tied to the other two, yes, as shared, there are many "traditionally feminine" things about me, yet I personally see those more as personality than gender as it is things I enjoy as a person that I feel aren't tied to my gender identity, and happily I see myself solely as a cis man. So what is the difference in myself and others where they either feel these things are gendered, or that it makes them feel they do not belong to one gender? Because I do feel in my position maybe others would view it as a binary/gender issue and struggle with their gender identity, but for me it is just personality and not gender? So what makes people view these things differently to me?

Again, I must admit I have always silently really struggled with either not feeling like you are male/female, or that you change between the two or even more, I've never said anything out of not wanting to cause offense, but it is a thing that my mind just struggles to understand. So if others could help me understand how they view the relation/separation of gender and personality, and even what gender means to them, that'd help me a lot. I truly really do want to understand it, but I think like the idea that trans isn't solely binary, even after answers/explanations it may take more time, thinking, and maybe more questions to understand it. I truly do accept people feel this way, but I just want to understand why they do

I guess something I should add on actually is my lack of care in a personal sense. As I have shared in the past, people in cat groups constantly think I am a woman and call me she/her all the time, but I just never correct people on it as I don't care, and I think that's why I have never put my pronouns in my bio, I don't care. I prefer to be called he/him, especially by friends and family, but I guess that's the thing, people who know better I expect them to address me as a cis man, but for others, I just don't necessarily care, as long as they aren't calling me an insulting name it's whatever. But again, I think this causes an issue in my personal relation to gender identity/personality and how others perceive it, as an area I don't care about, others care greatly for, so it's hard to fully understand the difference in views, which again I accept it, just not necessarily fully understand it

#personal #trans #transgender #nonbinary #lgbt+ #lgbt #lgbt community #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gender #gender identity #question #questions

[ask-serendipity-sky]

There are a lot of rumors going on that the actress han so hee is going to be in the jk1 mv that set to come out in July because both of their staffs have been photographed to be in the same location and a lot of people are assuming it’s gonna be romantic and have a lot of “love” scenes + people are also saying that Jo went on a date with a woman in LA and are bringing up the fact that he also went on date with a woman jeju and it’s causing alot of chaos and people are starting to doubt kookmin again. My question is, if it’s true and han so hee is in the mv and it turns out to be romantic do you think it will affect the “believability” of kookmin? And I know men can have female friends but alot of people are saying it happened way too many times for it to be just them “hanging out” since it’s mostly a one on one kind of situation. I’m sorry if I worded this poorly English is not my first language but I’d really like to hear your insight since I’m new to this whole Jikook thing and things seem to be very confusing.

Hi anons,

Oh god. All this time I thought this was a joke. I've been in a Jikook bubble ever since Jimin's live. I still want to talk about that but everyone else moved on, apparently lol

(I'll still talk about Jm's live later today just to clear the air lol)

To ME, Jk being in a video with a woman in any way or using "she" "girl" or anything that doesn't point to Jimin, wouldn't phase me at all. This wouldn't affect the credibility of Jikook for ME.

I keep using Ricky Martin as an example but he is really the best example. He is a gay man with videos like the following:

Drop It On Me

She Bangs

Those clips...ahem. If Jikook did a performance like that the world would go down in flames and the haters would rejoice...but these performances are just that. Performances.

My mom and I would watch his performances and say "Nope, he still gay."

Music, dancing, lyrics doesn't make someone straight or gay. Ricky is spanking his dancers and the women all grinding up on him and he's smiling looking hot and the man is still gay.

I wouldn't think "Omg, Jk danced with a woman. He must not be into men." Because these performances of dancing with a woman or a man don't define anyone's gender. It's just art.

And regarding the dating rumors, again I'm still unfazed lol

I've never seen her hanging out with Jungkook. The picture of Jungkook in Jeju doesn't even show that he was with a woman in a romantic way or a date. It shows nothing. Just like all the other pictures where Jungkook is standing close to a woman. Nothing.

Yes, she did attend the premiere with Tae, Jk, and Tae's friends.

She's smiling with Tae's friend and Jk is doing his own thing. Has anyone linked her to Tae's friend instead?

She wasn't even there in the pictures and video Tae posted.

(I won't post the pictures because I'm petty like that and I strongly dislike Tae's behavior. I'll just post this Jungkook to keep this post pretty."

If he is dating her why did Jungkook find the need to come do a welive instead of continuing the night with her?

He was feeling troubled but found comfort in a welive instead of his rumored girlfriend.

And if Jungkook is dating her, why in the world did he make a 3 part welive on White Day and had Jimin on his mind?

This is why I don't worry. We see Jikook in separate screens, but there are real things that connect them. Things that are said by them. Not random rumors or blurry pictures.

I'm quite transparent about the times I have personally observed Jikook troubles but this is just not one of these times where I sense trouble.

Thank you for stopping by!

#jikook #kookmin #asks

[autistichalsin]

Hello 🙏Big fan of your work! thank you for sharing with us your wholesome analysis content, can't get enough of it .I feel this to some extent to be another layer in his character :,) maybe i can't fully extend on why it would make sense but is this something? Sorry

I perceive Halsin as someone who, deep down, might feel unworthy but chooses not to express it. It seems that throughout his relationships he has carefully crafted his expressions, possibly out of a desire to avoid burdening someone he cares for with his inner struggles. The carefully chosen words and planned sentences might be a way for him to shield his own insecurities. While he outwardly promotes freedom in relationships, there's a suspicion that this stance might stem from a reluctance to express his true feelings of unworthiness, creating a facade of responsibility instead of authenticity.

In his pursuit of love, Halsin paradoxically insists on the potential for greater happiness with someone else, repeatedly emphasizing freedom in the relationship. It's as if he wants the love of his present relationship but hesitates to fully embrace it, perhaps until it becomes unmistakably clear that he is genuinely and deeply loved. Until then, his expressions may be veiled attempts to maintain a sense of control over his vulnerabilities, revealing his true desires only when he feels secure in the reciprocation of love.

Guyyyyyyys you're gonna make me blush!!! How am I at the point where I'm getting fanmail in my inbox now!!! *Kicking my feet and blushing*

I agree for sure that he tries to shield others from his own stuff. Maybe not out of a sense of unworthiness per se, or maybe it is. But he definitely doesn't feel like he should ask for the same emotional real estate that he gives to others.

However, I will politely say I don't agree with the rest of this. I don't think him being poly is a cover for any of his insecurities (nor does it stem from his traumas, I.E. in the Underdark). It is who he is, especially as a wood elf; polyamory is the default in wood elf culture. (In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if the consent given by other characters, who otherwise want monogamy but make an exception for Halsin, is given on the basis that Halsin is a wood elf). The devnotes for the scene where Halsin explains his nature says "sincere. This is a core belief of his." Halsin is poly and traumatized, not poly because he's traumatized; Halsin is poly and struggling with asking for what he wants, not poly because he can't say what he wants.

The "you're all I want" line that usually gets picked as proof of him not being poly is, IMO, a poorly-written one- what he is trying to say there is that the player is all he wants at that moment, not forever. It isn't uncommon for poly folks to be in relationships with a single other person, not because they aren't poly anymore, but because there aren't any other poly partners around. That's what Halsin is getting at.

I hope this response doesn't put you off or anything! I appreciate your message very much. I just fundamentally can't get on board with any attempts to link Halsin's identity as a polyamorous person with trauma and/or emotional insecurity.

#halsin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3