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tammyhybrid21 · 4 years

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Hybrid Screaming about Rats for an HOUR

(Ft. Bonus dog symbolism as well)

I mean, this is going to be about Mummy and Tad(and Jeff). Buuut I am honestly taking it as an excuse to scream about rats. And their symbolism.

I'll also probably have an aside about Jeff as well, but honestly... Since @shields-and-depthgauges-oh-my done her wonderful art-- And I am not over how happy Mummy is to see rats, among other little details. Let's get to analysing!

Sooooo--

First off, I'm going to talk about rats. Because here's the thing. I have fancies. And this is my TOPIC to scream about. No but seriously, back when I was writing WHMS/Winds Howl, Mountains Stand, I gathered an honestly ridiculous amount of symbolism and research for ratties. Which has ultimately kind of being left to the wayside, aside a small mention/use for my old Danny Phantom OC's revival.

Which yeah...

We're not here to talk about Snitch though. As much as I do want to talk about them, the only thing they're relevant for right now is "why rats?" Which-- is only turgently connected to this. Because let me talk about the symbolism and how that impacts how I feel about rats, along with why I think that they're telling in terms of how each character reacted to them when first seeing them in the movie. Beyond the obvious of that one comic's view on things-- how you treat the lowest but--

Which, I actually have some things to say about how Tad's less grossed out than one might think and his reaction is more to Tiffany's... but now is NOT the place.

Meanwhile Mummy's reaction-- yeah. "What's wrong with them anyway?". This is something that maybe would be better expanded on later, but-- that's the common associations at play. I'm sure if I just put down the word-- Rat a million negative things would race through your head.

Dirty, diseased, traitor, thief, liar, coward, spineless, bringer of death, disarray, destructive, vermin, pest, opportunistic-- etc.

BUT

Again, I own fancies. And I'm not alone in owning fancy rats. And if there is one truth I know that's probably universal. A rat's home is only as dirty as you let it be. And for a few of those prior descriptors-- they actually couldn't be further from the truth. Sure some are still certainly true-- but those are also not their problem as much as it's the issue of the world around and what it's given.

Rats are--

Some of the greatest little pets I've owned.

They are loving, curious, inquisitive, creative, almost too creative when you're trying to keep them out of something and they keep getting around your obstacles. Loyal-- rats do not abandon those who're family. They come back--

Rats are fertile, and considering their hoarding behaviour-- well, they stock up, they prepare, they can be symbols of wealth, ambition, expansion, intelligence and resourcefulness. The underground world(which how relevant is that one to Mummy) And yeah-- but then they have some-- rather surprising symbolism that I just... wish I could find the old sites I got this all from. But most of them seem to have vanished into the nether...

But you know one of the big ones I have on my list that I just-- wish I could source back.

Divine Retribution

Which, probably has something to do with the Black Death/Plague-- but I don't know really. Still!

Rats-- NOW--

How does this all relate to Mummy and why did I want to mention that reaction? Circling back a little bit late but-- Misunderstandings.

And how that relates a bit to Autism, being on the spectrum, what we are-- how Mummy presents himself verses what his truth really is... Weeeell-- Rats actually have a lot of symbolism that I personally think is telling when we match Mummy up with them. Like-- he shows a lot of the same things that rats are associated with in terms of creativity, intelligence(although not in the same way that most people recognize, but the dead tongues, languages) And just generally-- there's a lot.

Like, I would also again, like to think about the loyalty Mummy shows and how he is. And there's something in the Sacrifice scene I'd love to grumble about here regarding that, and ever Tiffany there-- with how it looks like they've come closer in the interim-- not just Tad staying and I just--

But that's neither here nor there, because there's another main thing.

Secrets, Underground World, Stealth

Mummy. Also something about hiding in plain sight. I mean-- how often do you even get a glimpse-- of rats even when you know they're there. Or have an idea of it.

I mean, barring a few places... which as an aside, I want to talk back again to another rat role and place that I think we here in the West-English Countries don't appreciate or understand the MAGIC of quite enough-- India's Karni Mata Rat Temple.

Rats are reincarnations. They're part of that, life, death, rebirth. Rats have their own sacredness. And considering in movie 2 we see them as I guess-- guardians in a way of a temple-- well yeah. But all of this stuff is more of an aside really to the main point and reason I am just-- delighted that rats are Mummy's implied favourites. Because yeah-- they're very misunderstood creatures that live such a short time BUT--

Yeah-- impact and there is a lot of symbolism he shares with them when you bother to look at ALL of it and not just full stop at the dirty side of things. Rats are secret keepers and just-- good beans. Also survival.

NOW--

Let's talk another side of things. In terms of all the animal companions for a moment, but more specifically I want to talk a little bit about how Tad and Mummy look to relate to animals verses humans.

Which-- I know personally-- with my Autism-- yeah, animals are much, much easier to deal with than humans in MANY ways. You don't have to try and work out what someone means when they say something, or any of the other puzzles. It's all really straight forwards. And no need to mask yourself at all. Something I'm sure both Tad and Mummy can appreciate--

Even if it does appear that Mummy is an extrovert, I mean, look how eager he is to get out, interact with people. Which that verses masking-- wouldn't blame him for befriending rats in that case since they always come in a group. Large clans/families-- which yeah-- Ratatouille got that RIGHT.

Meanwhile we have... Tad who's... rather more complicated, but at the same time not and really gets me screaming at him-- because he needs to TRAIN THAT DOG!

LIKE HOW EXPENSIVE?!

I have-- a whole other rant on Jeff's poor to none training level. But-- it can actually be summed up in how Tad is with him in general. Which is... in terms of the psychology in his relationship with Jeff. Because listen here. I had dogs. I've had dogs, chickens, my rats. Befriended cats but never gotten the full honor of owning one.

But--

I actually have some things to say about this-- and it's almost a guilty admission really but... When it comes to dogs and training, I can almost kind of get it. Jeff's lack of training is probably twofold.

1) It's damn hard to train dogs when you can barely train yourself. And 2) it's got to do with how Tad seems to be with Jeff, seeing him as part of the family and as someone who gets him. Which as an oxymoron is a bit about respect--

Although, that's... well, also something to do with Autism and projecting and I should probably make a whole proper rant about that in its own time, along with the FULL "Train yer dog" rant. Which yeah... Sooo instead I'll tie this off with our favourite doggy symbolism and talk about that-- re Tadeo himself.

Let's be obvious here-- Dogs are-- very often associated with dumb loyalty. Loyal but stupid. I mean, at least in American media-- which... not entirely wrong sometimes. Dogs are incredibly loyal. But stupid-- NAH--

Dogs are not as stupid as people see to like to portray them as. It's usually the people around them who're stupid and not paying attention or really working with the dog. Which-- I want to talk a little about Tad in regards to that, but it's kind of hard, since I am... not quite as enthused about it as with the rat rant and Mummy.

BUT--

Protection is the key theme here. His promise-- which leads to his assistance, loyalty resourcefulness... but for all the traits that Tad does have-- I feel like arguably his dog relations are in those lessons he has yet to learn from our favourite "man's best friend"

Communication, obedience, community. Stuff that Tad could arguably improve in. Also I do feel like, there's also some of his big heartedness and the empathy that could be improved, but that's less a lack of as much as he's kind of pushing that down-- and well-- a whole other issue.

Which--

Almost circles back to the mess of Jeff's lack of training.

Which-- dogs are boundless and seek things to keep them occupied. And they also seek leadership, which-- interestingly there's how I watch and view Tad-- and his relationships and he's very much a lost puppy when you look at how he follows around Sara-- which I have deeper analysis on that but--

Tad's... not really a leader as much as he tries to fashion himself as one and play the Hero.

AS A QUICK ASIDE--

While I'm on dogs, I just want to quickly give a shout out to Freddy for making me think he really hits their high points in the small meaningful moments and hints to more beyond just "comic relief" ALSO, Shout out in general to these movies for allowing the "comic" to have their moments where you can glimpse more beyond just that.

Loyalty, protection, communication, sensory perception, assistance, resourcefulness--

In any case yeah!

BACK TO MY POINT--

...Animals are... much easier to relate to a lot of times in comparison to people... and we've repeatedly seen that Tadeo has issues with people. Which feels weird really when he's the protagonist. And while Mummy definitely speaks as an Extrovert.

Like-- He's so eager to get out and be himself--

Tad is... a lot more complicated. Like, I am really, really this close to going back into my usual MBTI analysis rant for him, but-- Tad very much doesn't seem to actively ever really go out and talk to people outside their circle unless necessary. Which heeeey--

Again... Dogs are there to help you with communication, talking to people. Which makes me wonder about the pets and movie 3--

Which-- aside possibly nods to some of the deeper lore with Anubis. Which, let's not forget that he(they?!), also tended to the scales where Ammut is but--

DOGS are all about communication. Which is Tad's BIG issue. And it's not just in regards to how I point out the potential of him just taking the promise seriously and not communicating that. But-- Tad's... not good at communicating clearly with anyone. And we're not just talking in terms of people communication, bad listening and not trusting what people say--

And let's be real, still has a bit of lying issues-- but well... who in the modern world doesn't--

BUT

More, I want to return to Jeff and think about how generally one of the rules in Dogs, canine behaviour issues is... Dogs naturally want to have a pecking order/leadership to follow. And if there isn't a clear one they dictate that they are thus the leader.

Which indicates that Tadeo-- isn't really communicating clearly with Jeff and proving himself a leader... Which heeeey-- kind of hope this becomes more of an issue in movie 3, I really, really want something that forces him to come to terms with at least some of his issues.

COMMUNICATE DAMNIT, TRUST YOUR COMPANIONS.

Mummy, Sara, reign in Jeff and see that he needs you to be steady just as much as you seem to need him. And Tad does need Jeff.

FUNNILY ENOUGH

There are three characters who've proven they can gain some of Jeff's "oh leader" vibes.

Belzoni-- who seems to be able to rally, or at least lead him around a bit, and is looked to by Jeff here-- like Jeff sticks by them...

WHERE JEFF IS ON THE TRAIN FEELS TELLING AS WELL.

Like really?! Why is he not by Tad? But instead, he's following Freddy around on the train. And, minutely following scenes, still following and looking to him a bit. Which interesting.

And most interestingly, from the Facebook shorts, teasers... I'd say for this, it's a walk that's starting "strong". Which indicates that Mummy is also slowly gaining ground with Jeff and communicating in terms of leadership(and no wonder, with his experience).

NOT THAT IT SURVIVED THE WHOLE WALK BUT--

Yeah.

Please let movie 3 have Tad coming to confront this. Please. USE THE SYMBOLS YOU HAVE!

#THybrid Jones #Tadeo Jones #Animals #Mummy(Tadeo Jones)#Tad(The Protagonist)#Animal Symbolism #Freddy Marquez #Rats #Dogs #Honestly feels like a long rant of just screaming #That might go in circles-- but eyy #ALSO DON'T WORRY #Sara will get her own symbols rant eventually #Communication #Autism #Speculation

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fanficsaremylifeline · 4 years

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And the Oscar goes to...

On AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21384301

*****

Klaus

Being in some rehab-psych ward sucked. Yes, going through withdrawal was the worst, but Klaus knew his way around a rehab-ward, he'd been enough of them to find ways to keep sobriety at bay.

Unfortunately not enough to keep the number of ghosts down. And there were a lot of them here. At least they weren't all that gorey, mostly suicide by hanging themselves or slitting their wrists. They came with more than enough psychological issues, though; their need to talk topped even that of Mildred, who roamed the halls of the Academy. Klaus got to spend most of his youth listening to countless stories about her cats. That they ate her face after she died didn't seem to bother Mildred all that much.

The one ghost Klaus was glad kept on sticking around was Ben. Of course, never getting rid of your brother, who didn't necessarily support your lifestyle, could border on annoying, but Klaus was pretty sure he didn't want to know where he'd be without Ben. What sucked about being in rehab was that he couldn't talk with Ben though. Having a conversation with his dead brother would get him quite a few days extra, all that under constant scrutiny, thusly denying him the chance for that little kick the pain meds, he could swipe from the nurses, offered. Klaus had learned that the hard way.

So Klaus just sat in the common room, played with a fidget spinner he found under some cupboard as he tried to ignore the ghosts that currently tried to get his attention. He sort of watched two others battling out at checkers, which was unfortunately mind-numbingly boring, and Klaus wouldn't be able to keep the haunting at bay all that much longer. Until one ghost in particular drew all his attention.

“DUDE! CHECK IT OUT!” Ben cried out all of a sudden and pointed at the TV, Klaus had mostly been ignoring up until now. “It's Allison!”

“What?” Klaus turned so suddenly, even the checkers guys stopped their game. It took Klaus a moment to properly focus on the tiny screen where some awards show was playing. And no kidding, one of the nominees that were being read out was Allison Hargreeves.

“Everybody quiet!”, he yelled. “And turn this damn thing up!”

“Yo Klaus, you alright?”

“That's my sister!”, he explained with the widest grin.

“DAMN!” And everybody in the little room had their eyes glued to the screen; even the ghosts were quiet and watching, as some actor (a 4 tops in Klaus' opinion though he's had worse...) opened the envelope and announced to the camera: “And the Academy Award for best actress goes to...”

*****

Diego

Fucking Police Academy. Diego wouldn't do that to himself all that much longer. The only reason he hadn't given up just yet was Eudora, and her whole being just lighting up his soul. Or that vacant place in his chest where he'd have one, if it weren't for old bastard Hargreeves...

He tried to ignore the guys at the gym calling out for him and instead head straight for his boiler room and the whiskey he had in the cupboard. But one remark had him stop. “Hey Diego, isn't that your sister?”

He turned to the counter upon which was the little old TV, about as crappy, dirty and rundown as the rest of this damn place. And, sure enough, there was Allison. “What's that then?”, he asked around the group that had collected in front of the screen.

“She's your sister, shouldn't you know?”, one guy laughed.

“Trust me we don't share more than a birthday, last name and our horrible upbringing.”

“There was your teenage-mutant-ninja-stuff though.”

“And the fact that there is no more Umbrella Academy should really explain enough.” And that was the last thing, Diego'd say about that .

The last time he and Allison had spoken was on their birthday, via a five-minute phone call. That was about four months ago and Diego would not be surprised if they wouldn't talk until their next one. The only sibling Diego regularly ran into and looked out for was Klaus and – in extension of that – Ben in a way. And of course, there was Mum. Thankfully, Reginald was a creature of habit, which meant that Diego could visit her without running into the old bastard.

The presenting actor on screen got out a big golden envelope and stared straight into the camera as he announced: “And the Academy Award for best actress goes to...”

*****

Vanya

Vanya was glued to her screen all night long. She even called in sick to rehearsal just so she could watch the Oscars. Not that she'd care about actors and their accomplishments, but ever since the nominations were announced, with one of them being Allison, Vanya had marked that day on her calender.

The hadn't spoken since their birthday. Vanya had sent all of the siblings a text, but Allison was the only one not just sending a short text back, but actually calling Vanya. It wasn't that long or deep a conversation, even though she didn't bring it up, Allison didn't exactly care about Vanya's book, which was probably the reason everybody avoided her. Though they already avoided her when they were kids, so by writing her story she didn't exactly have too much to lose and didn't really lose all that much. Except maybe for the last shred of respect her siblings had for her.

Vanya still cared deeply for them. Especially with Allison she shared more of a relationship; maybe being the only two girls bonded them in a way that she just couldn't with the brothers. And so she tried to follow Allison's career as best she could; went to every of her movies and was so proud of her sister and what she had achieved.

And now it would be announced. Vanya sat mere centimetres from his screen as the actor opened the envelope and looked straight into the camera. “And the Academy Award for best actress goes to...”

*****

Allison

“And the Academy Award for best actress goes to...”

This was it. This was the moments, Allison had been working for, ever since the first possibility of ever being able to leave the Umbrella Academy had presented itself. And it was nerve-wrecking. Allison's stomach did backflips and she couldn't take the suspense anymore. She'd rather not be the winner instead of having to wait even a second longer.

“ALLISON HARGREEVES!”

Time stopped for a moment, as her brain worked on figuring out what she just heard. She won. SHE WON! The cheering and applause came back to her as Patrick pulled her to her feet and put a quick kiss on her cheek. Like in a trance, or automated, Allison made her way towards the stage.

And before she really knew what happened, she stood in front of the microphone with an Oscar, HER Oscar in the hand and she couldn't help but smile at the masses of people looking up at her, expecting a heartfelt speech. Well, from the heart she'd speak.

“Thank you, so, so much! I am incredibly honoured and... I'm not gonna start naming people, because there are too many that I'd like to thank, so to everybody who I ever had the luck to work with; everybody who ever gave me a shot, it is thanks to you I get to stand up here, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you! But there are two people I especially need to thank, and those are my husband Patrick and my darling Claire. I love you both so much more than I ever thought was possible and it's you I want to dedicate this award to. Thank you all so much!”

Under loud applause, Allison went back to her place, where Patrick awaited her with the widest smile. “I'm so proud of you, love”, he whispered as he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a kiss.

After that, the night was a blur. The afterparty was great fun, but it felt all so very unreal and it would probably take Allison a day or two, or five until it would all really sink in that she was an Academy Award winning actress!

Allison put off checking her messages until late the next afternoon, mentally preparing herself for an onslaught of Congratulations. Even all her (living and earth-based) siblings had messaged her and it made Allison somehow happier than the other 127 texts she had gotten. She hadn't told any of her family about her nomination. They weren't close, they spoke on their birthday and maybe on Christmas, but that was it. Klaus was the only one who had ever visited her in LA, and that was mostly so someone could keep an eye on him while Diego was otherwise occupied. She never asked what he did that week and Diego never told, so...

The one sibling she would have liked to tell though, was sitting on the moon, doing research for dad, far out of reach. At least she sometimes could get an update via Pogo, or ask him to deliver a message to Luther, but it wasn't really that great a system. Maybe it was better that way, though. She was married, had a wonderful daughter and The Umbrella Academy was in the past; never more than now it was clear that her future was here in LA, and that she belonged here.

Still, they grew up together, and seeing messages from her family was always wonderful as seldom as it happened.

Pogo: Dear Allison, me and your mother are so proud of you! Congratulations on your win. I have informed Master Luther, as soon as he is in touch I will forward his message to you. With all the best from the Umbrella Academy, Pogo and Mum

Allison: Thanks Pogo, I appreciate it! Say hi to Mum and Luther from me :)

Diego: Saw you on the tv! Congrats, sis, you deserve it :)

Allison: Thanks, Diego :)

Klaus: OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! CONGRATS! Me and Ben are sooooooooo proud and stoked and happy for you, it's sooooo amazing, we're about to start the celebratory conga line!!! And by the way, you looked stunning. Any chance I could borrow those shoes next time we run into each other? ;)

Allison: The shoes are yours if I get that skirt back you stole from me when you were in LA... ;)

Vanya: Hey Allison, I just want to wish you good luck tonight. I'll be glued to the screen :)

Vanya: Congrats, I never doubted it for a moment! I'm really happy for you, you did so well!

Allison: Thanks, Vanya, for thinking of me xoxo

Well, things between the Hargreeves' might not be perfect, downright cold at times, but what family was perfect? And maybe, just maybe, it was time for Allison to take a holiday back home...

#the umbrella academy #tua #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #luther hargreeves #pogo #grace

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forever-forgotten-angel · 5 years

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True Love’s Quest Chapter 1

Sooooo....I had a dream that was basically a full length musical movie about this gay Prince and his Knight and their love story and I was like “Well I can’t force Disney to make this for me so I might as well Thvi-ify it right?” .....So here we are. This story is made up of what I can remember of the dream and me embellishing it to make it work. Hope you all enjoy!

PS: The bold and italicized bits are the singing. I attempted to write songs. I’m sorry.

Warnings: Language and sexual innuendo (Remus is in this so...yeah). My bad attempts at songwriting. Romantic Thomas/Virgil. Sympathetic Deceit and Remus. Genders of some characters changed because I wanted to keep them to the genders of the characters that were in my dream (Roman and Patton are Princesses, Logan is a High Priestess of Magic if you were wondering exactly who). Think that’s it but let me know if you see anything I should add!

Once upon there was a love story unfolding in a beautiful and mystical kingdom, a love story that was in peril of coming to and end, and not a happy one.

Our story begins with the King and Queen of the gorgeous kingdom of Namor. King Jasper and Queen Talia were honorable rulers, doing their best to rule justly and generously. They had three children. Their oldest was Prince Thomas, in line to soon take over as king. Their middle child was Princess Roman, regarded by the whole kingdom as the most magnificent and lovely princess the land had ever known. Their youngest and final child was Princess Patton.

Prince Thomas was nearing his 30th birthday, and thus the time he would be taking over as the King of Namor, and his parents stepping down, to enjoy their final years at peace with their family, having ruled for many years. As was tradition, the day exactly half a year before the new King’s coronation day, the Crown Prince would announce his choice of bride with a wedding set for a mere fortnight after the announcement. That day had finally arrived for prince Thomas, and his parents were eager for the event.

King Jasper and Queen Talia: Today’s the day we’ve waited for, for our son shall decide

Who within the kingdom walls he chooses as his bride

The one to rule beside him as our kingdom becomes theirs

While we spend our final years relaxing, and doting on the heirs

Through this marriage, our future is born and the process begins again

They will raise their children to take their place and have their own retirement

For that’s the way it’s always been

We all know that a King must have a Queen

The future King was also wide awake and eager as he rushed through the halls back to his bed chambers. He was not yet dressed for the day, but that barely crossed his mind in his excitement. As he reached his destination he flung open the doors and as he had expected a knight already dressed in his dark armor with the kingdoms crest embossed into it was sitting on his bed, his gaze lighting up upon seeing Thomas, though he gave a scowl in the Prince’s direction.

“I am your knight Sire, I am meant to accompany you everywhere. Yet this is the latest of many times in the past year that you have snuck out without me in the early hours of the day.” It is true that this knight had been assigned to his protection duty since he turned eighteen. His knight had turned the same age that year, and they had grown up the best of friends. No one was more dedicated to his protection than the man before him. He smiled at the night and closed the door behind him.

Rushing over he pressed a kiss to his knight’s lips as he slid forward to sit on the man’s lap. “Sorry, love.” He sweetened his apology with another kiss, his night leaning in as it deepened. It took a few minutes before the knight pulled back with a sigh. “We should stop doing that Thomas. We won’t be able to after today.” Thomas grinned as he brought a small book in his hand to the knight’s attention. “That’s what you think Virgil.”

Virgil glanced at the book curiously but was still unconvinced. “You already asked your parents if you could marry me instead of one of the ladies of the kingdom. They said you couldn’t.” Thomas shook his head. “No they said I couldn’t marry someone who couldn’t provide me and the kingdom with a child. A future ruler.” Virgil tilted his head in confusion. “What’s the difference?” Thomas took one of his knight’s hands, bringing it to his lips for a gentle kiss before placing the book into it, opening it to a freshly marked page. “This.”

Thomas: I remember crystal clear, my parents did decree

That if not for one little thing they’d let you marry me

Our marriage just could not provide the kingdom with an heir

So I scoured all the library shelves and guess what I found there

This is the answer we’ve been searching for, it’s the miracle we need

Just look! It’s perfect! Our problem is solved! Go on and take a read

“This is what I have been doing in the mornings when I sneak away. Research. I didn’t want to bring you along because you get too little sleep as it is. But I was determined to find a way for us to be together, and I have. Just in time too.” Thomas’ voice was cheerful and full of love as he directed Virgil’s eyes down to the page he had turned to.

Virgil looked down at the page, scanning over it shrewdly. Thomas watched as his face changed into an expression of tentative hope. “You really think this will work?” Thomas cupped his lover’s face in his hands. “It has to.” Virgil’s lips had a small smile on them as he asked his next question. “And you are sure you want to do this?” Thomas hoped the kiss he gives Virgil in response to that fully extinguishes and trace of doubt, but just in case he emphasizes it with passionate words.

Thomas: I won’t let us be parted by anything

I believe that a King can have a King

“Will you do this with me Virgil? I know you get anxious-” Virgil cut his Prince off with a quick but loving kiss to Thomas’ forehead, pulling back to look straight into the eyes that he loved to get lost in. “You’re worth it. We’re worth it. We’re worth fighting for.” Virgil watched as the eyes before him lit up with pure joy, the sight making his heart melt. “We’re worth fighting for.” Thomas repeated in agreement before reluctantly getting up off of Virgil’s lap.

There was an announcement to get ready for after all.

An hour later, the King and Queen stood proudly beside their son on the steps of the castle, his knight fidgeted nervously as he stood behind the prince, knowing what was about to happen. The Princesses stood further back, there to support their brother. “It is time Prince Thomas, to announce to our fair kingdom of Namor which lucky lady you choose to one day rule at your side. So tell us, who is to be your Queen?” It seemed that everyone in the kingdom had come to hear the announcement yet you couldn’t hear a single peep among the large crowd as the King finished speaking. All were awaiting the Crown Prince’s response with bated breath.

Thomas fought the urge to glance back at Virgil as he spoke as loud and clear as he could manage. “I choose my knight, l Sir Virgil to rule by my side as my King.” The crowd gasped before descending into murmured chaos. Thomas reached behind him to take Virgil’s hand, trying to calm the clearly nervous warrior, as he met the reproachful gaze of his father with his own.

King Jasper: Son, we’ve been through this already, your union can not be

I won’t let the passing of the royal bloodline end with your mother and me

I know what you think your love is worth

But this has been planned since before your birth

Thomas: Father, I have found a way we can both have what we planned

Your kingdom will have a royal heir and I will have my true love’s hand

Just listen! And you will understand

“There is a magical ritual father, a ritual that will allow an heir of mine and Virgil’s blood to be carried in the womb of another. All we need is someone who can perform the spell, a willing carrier, and a few drops of mine and Virgil’s blood.” Thomas showed the book to his father. The King took the book over to the court librarian to confirm it’s authenticity. Once that was done he returned to his son, looking at his determined face. The determination in Thomas’ face was matched by his tone as he spoke his next words. “When we discussed this last year you both said if Virgil was able to provide an heir than you would allow me to marry him.”

Thomas: It’s all right there, we can have everything

I love him. Please let him be my King

It was clear from the look on the King and Queen’s faces that they did not expect their son to actually go and find a way for Virgil to give him an heir. Nonetheless, Japer and Talia were not the type of royals to go back on their word, not were they the type of parents to deny their son’s happiness unless absolutely necessary. The Princesses were nodding encouragingly at their parents, clearly trying to urge them to agree. Both knew how much this meant to their older brother. With a simple look to each other, the rulers had a silent exchange before both nodded.

“Very well Thomas. If you can find a magical being willing and able to perform this spell, we will allow you to marry your knight.” The noise of the crowd grew as those closest to the front of the steps spread the news of what was going on through all the way to the back. Soon the whole kingdom knew what their Prince aimed to do.

Large smiles made their way onto both Thomas and Virgil’s faces. “Thank you father. Thank you mother. Thank you so mu-” His father held up his right hand for silence. “On one condition. It must be done within a week. The wedding must go ahead as planned in a fortnight as tradition dictates and you will need at least a week to fully prepare. Therefore I can only give you seven days. If you do not have someone who can perform this magic in the kingdom walls by then, I am afraid you will have to choose a bride. I’m sorry son.” Thomas’ face didn’t lose it’s determination for even a moment. “I will find someone.”

But would he? Or would the Prince and the Knight’s story be destined to end in tragedy?

Only time, seven days to be precise, would tell.

Roman looked up from his personal handwritten book of fairytales with a grin. “So what do you think?” His brother swallowed a bite of deodorant before speaking. “What if Prince Thomas and his Knight just slaughter the kingdom and then fuck on the castle steps, finally free of judgement?” Roman huffed. “Ignoring you. Anyone else got an opinion?”

The moral side spoke up next. “Why are you and I Princesses instead of Princes?” Logan added on before Roman could speak. “Also, ‘regarded by the whole kingdom as the most magnificent and lovely princess the land had ever known’, a bit egoistic don’t you think?” Roman ignored Logan’s question as he answered Patton. “I don’t know Padre, I based it on a dream I had and I didn’t want to change Princesses to Princes. Besides, I think we would make lovely Princesses.” Patton smiled widely at the light creative side’s answer. “We sure would Kiddo.”

“I thought it was a good opening Roman.” Roman grinned happily. “Thank you Deceit! Wait...do you actually mean that it was bad?” The scaled side gasped as if offended. “Of course not.” Roman scrutinized Deceit. “But is that a lie?” Deceit just smirked and raised an eyebrow this time, clearly enjoying being a little shit. Roman conceded with a sigh. “Well thanks...I think.” Deceit chuckled lowly. “You’re welcome...and I did mean it.” The words were said as sincerely as the deceitful side could manage and Roman perked up a bit.

“What about you two?” The Princely asked, his gaze focused on the two love birds cuddling in Thomas’ recliner. “Is something bad going to happen to Thomas?” Virgil asked, tone making it clear he did not want to hear anything of the sort. “Relax sweetheart, even if it does, it’s just a story. I’m right here beside you. Though I do hope Prince Thomas and Sir Virgil’s story ends well…” The host trailed of, looking at Roman for answers. He didn’t get any.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Taglist (currently tagging people who have asked to be tagged in all my work, if you want to be added or removed, let me know): @organizeddiscord, @lesliealiceinwonderland, @amazonprimebox

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #thvi #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #new story #my fic

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michael-radi-the-glamorous-life · 5 years

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As We Stumble Along...

This week I had the pleasure of being part of the first NYC externship for my Alma Mater’s brand new, and now fully developed, Musical Theater Program. I had the chance to work with some lovely SUNY Geneseo Juniors and Seniors in a new musical theatre workshop - an entirely new experience for all of them - and attended the first ever Senior Showcase. The talent was wonderful, the interactions were lovely, and the entire experience got me thinking…a dangerous pastime, I know.

As a part of the workshop I had to essentially explain to the students who I am, what I do, how that’s relevant to Geneseo, and how I got to where I am. And you know what? That was much more difficult than I expected.

At this moment in my career, these are the titles that I can, and generally do, give myself:

Composer-Lyricist/Librettist (technically 3 titles?)

Performer (Musical and non-Musical Theatre)

Musical Director

Vocal Coach

Accompanist (I do this less often)

Arranger/Orchestrator (though mostly my own material these days)

One of the Geneseo students said “You do so much!” and I guess that’s true. But I think the better question is, how the heck did I learn to do all of these things?

Broadway Standard

The one area from the above list where multiple straightforward and comprehensive paths of education exist is performance.

The theatre as a whole has always recognized that performers are necessary to train in large numbers since shows and theaters exist all over the place with roles that need filling. And performing is the most visible aspect of theatre, which makes it a great entry point for those interest in the business. So plenty of paths exist for people to become performers, and I won’t bore you with the details of mine. Everyone has their own stories on this one.

The other item on the list that is fairly straightforward, though certainly less common than performance, would be accompaniment.

***Quick PSA***: Someone who accompanies is called an ac-com-pa-nist. Not an ac-com-pa-NEE-ist, or any other version. Not a crucial thing to know, but I figured I’d throw it out there :-)

Usually the story I hear from pianists is that they were, at one time in their early life, cornered by some teacher or choral director or other and told they should play piano for a choir, jazz group, or school musical. And thus was born another accompanist.

For me, it was basically the same. My piano teacher told me I should, my choral teacher lost their previous student accompanist, and thus I was tagged for the job!

Where I diverge a little is that I found out I really enjoyed playing musical theatre songs for my friends, and started wanting to be better at it. So I made a point of finding all of the musical theatre music that I could in books and scores, sitting down, and attempting to play it. This is a pastime I continue today, and it has made my skills as an accompanist must stronger - so I would recommend this to anyone looking to hone this particular skill.

Barely Knowing Left From Right

My time at SUNY Geneseo ended up being quite crucial to the accidental development of two other items on that list: musical direction and vocal coaching.

Because I was already a pianist and accompanist, something that was well known by the beginning of my Junior year, I was tapped to be the Musical Director of one of our a cappella groups (and eventually the other as well). I knew from watching previous MDs that the basics of this job was to simply teach notes, but that the good ones could do oh-so-much more. And I wanted to be a good one.

(Anyone surprised? You may have gathered from my blogs thus far that I’m a little competitive about being good at what I do… :-D )

So I went to it. I learned by watching what others did, listening to my favorite arrangements and performances, and started trying things out. It was a lot of trial by fire. But soon I figured out what worked and made the music better, and what to avoid. I had already been arranging for the two groups for over a year at this point (something that I was allowed to just try and found I could do fairly well), so I had some sense of what I was doing. So I took the knowledge I had, added it to the skills I already possessed, and created a new skill set.

Was it perfect right away? Ohhhhhh no. It took me plenty of time to figure it out. But by my Senior year I was comfortable calling myself a Musical Director of both a cappella and musical theare.

As for the vocal coaching, this came from my accompaniment skills as well.

We had a club at Geneseo called MTC (Musical Theatre Club - nailing that name, right?) for which everyone would always stress about auditions each semester. So, being one of the 3-4 pianists in the club, I was often asked by people to help them prepare for their auditions by choosing songs and creating cuts. I found that I was naturally inclined toward this work - something I’d probably not have known if I hadn’t just tried it.

Then, in my later college years, I started gaining the confidence to give some vocal notes to people. I had zero reason to think I had any authority in this matter, but from what I was seeing and hearing I thought I might be able to help.

As it turns out, I was right.

With not an ounce of training (not something I’d really recommend) other than my own vocal training, I found that I had a natural ability to help people adjust their voices. And then of course I wanted to know more, so I began doing my own research and self-education. By the time I left college, I was well on my way to being able to do this sort of work professionally. And now, since it’s how I make the majority of my living and because it’s also an ever-changing field of study, I continue to educate myself on new techniques and styles.

But I’d never have known I could even do this if it hadn’t fallen into my lap and, more importantly, if I hadn’t decided to take the risk and try.

We Pull Our Bootstraps Up

And then we come to the remainder of the list: Composer-Lyricist, Librettist, Orchestrator.

It has been said that “failure is the best teacher,” and in my personal case of these above skills, I must agree.

If I had no business being a Musical Director or Vocal Coach, I had even less business writing music or words for the theatre. I mean, what experience did I have?

None. Not a bit.

Sooooo…?

I love creating. I’ve always loved creating. I had dabbled in some music writing when I was in grade school and did some light composition as part of my Music Theory class in high school - absolutely loving it - but that was the extent of my composition experience. And never had I written a play! I wrote a 5-minute piece once at the NYSSSA Theater Program, but it was terrible and I never tried again.

Until Geneseo, that is.

Playwriting was being offered as a class in my Junior year, so I decided to take it. I had loved my Creative Writing classes in the English Department, but I really longed to write for the stage. So I took it. And I was terrible.

Oh boy, I couldn’t write a play to save my life. And I certainly did try.

I understood the mechanics and the theory and the basics of what to do, but the best thing I could come up with was a murder-thriller spoof called Clue-less, which was actually an out-of-class pet project. It was fairly funny and had some nice dramatic moments, but it still wasn’t good. After getting a solid B- on my final assignment for the class I said that was it for me and playwriting. No more. But then I thought…

What about Musical Theatre? I’m certainly more inclined to writing music than a script…

So, to try out this idea, I decided to take Oscar Hammerstein II’s advice to Stephen Sondheim and attempt the exercise of adapting a play that I admire into a musical. Not for the world to see, necessarily, but for myself and to learn.

The play I chose? A Streetcar Named Desire. I love me some Tennessee Williams, and the high theatricality of the style seemed ripe for some music additions. And best of all, I didn’t have to write the book, just adapt.

I spent 4 weeks over the summer trying my hand at finding song moments, writing in character voices, adapting dialogue into lyrics (though without much structure), and composing a world that sounded like these characters. I tried to tell their stories, moved the action forward, and give a hint of New Orleans. And you know what? It was pretty damn good for a first attempt.

I was encouraged. I decided to be bolder for the second go-round and write an original musical as my Honors Project at Geneseo. Due to some college politics, the project could only be approved if I wrote the book, music, and lyrics, as well as stage the entire thing in my second semester acting as musical director, director, and producer. Certainly a tremendous undertaking - and the point of this was to scare me off - but again I said yes. Bring it on.

Thus a musical - and mediocre one at best - called PICk Love was born. I did all that was asked of me, and an audience of ~300 people ended up seeing it over two performances at the end of my Senior year. I had even gone through the process of learning how to orchestrate in a direct study (since I wasn’t wearing enough hats already) and continued to work on the show after graduation.

Loooooong story short, I was hooked. I wanted to learn more, and correctly now. So I auditioned for the BMI Lehman Engel Musical Theater Writing Workshop. Didn’t get in fully, but only as an auditor. Said yes. Met some amazing people and some of my best friends. Re-auditioned the next year. Got in. Said yes again. Met more amazing people, including one of my current collaborators and best friends. Learned so much. Got a ton better. Wrote and re-wrote The King’s Legacy. Met more incredible people. Kept saying yes.

We Live And We Learn

Most of the things on my list are skills I received no formal education for. In fact, there aren’t a lot of ways to receive a formal education in some of them. And this thing I had no idea how to do, let alone whether or not I could actually do it, is now one of the main parts of my career. But how did I get here?

Everyone has skills, whether from natural ability or because they’ve been honed. Everyone has interests and passions, even if they’re mostly unexplored. And, if you want, these things can come come together to create new skills and pathways that you previously may not have known existed. All you need to do is try.

Try and fail. Try again. Dislike you work. Research. Watch and listen and learn. Try and fail again. Like a little of what you’ve created. Reignite your passion when necessary. Continuously hone your skills. Try again. Fail. Succeed. And most of all, just say yes.

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lilithrevised · 6 years

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My IVF Adventure #4

Sooooo...lots a stuff has been going on.

Major announcement...Hubby and I managed to scoop together all the funds, exchange it to USD, and have it nice and ready to prepare a money order to take to the IVF Clinic. It's all there. Most of it is borrowed from lines of credit and what not, but some of it is real money...which was important to us. We wanted to reduce the debt for this procedure as much as possible, so we made the decision to cash in some of our retirement investments. For us it was the right call.

I learned a few things about money during this process. One of those things was - plan early. This process would have been much easier (and incurred less initial debt) if we'd made this decision a year ago. Even just the act of openning a USD joint bank account would have enabled us to safely deposit exchanged money over the course of the year. Also, I learned that the best exchange rate was at our local train station. Saved us 600 against what the bank would have charged us. That is money we don’t have to pay interest on - Yay!

I'm not going to fault myself for trying IUI too many times. My mindset, and the information presented to me was different at the time. Regardless of my feelings on all of that, I wasn't ready to accept IVF as an option. It was still a scary thing off in the background for me, and I wasn’t well enough informed. What I do fault myself for was not seeking a second opinion after repeated failed attempts. I was too busy blaming my body for not working properly, instead of problem solving. Life lesson: Doctors facilitate medical information and skill. But they are still human with their own bias, ego, experience, and preference. The most well intentioned Doctor may give you all the information they think is relevant, but what and how they present that information to a patient will always be governed by the above four factors.

Anyways.. small celebration for money - Yay!

Next order of business, I have my water sono and IVF lecture tomorrow. The lecture is basically to make sure I know what I'm getting myself into, and to make sure I know how to take the medication, to finish signing all the paperwork, and to get any of the remaining prescriptions I need so I don’t have to wait for them in the mail.

The water sonohysterogram is to evaluate my uterus for polyps, fibroids, and anatomic abnormalities. According to the information the clinic provided(Warning: anatomical words to follow):

“A speculum is placed in the vagina, the cervical opening is cleaned with an iodine solution, a small catheter is inserted into the uterus through the cervix. Sterile water is inserted into the uterine cavity through catheter and a vaginal ultrasound is performed to assess the inside of the uterine cavity. It is common to feel some cramping and pressure during this procedure.”

Sooooo...I’m pretty sure I know what this is going to feel like. Last summer I did IUI (Intrauterine insemination OR artificial insemination), and the procedure was really similar. For IUI they took “washed” sperm from my husband and inserted it into my uterus via a catheter that was inserted through my cervix. It wasn’t painful per say, but it definitely wasn’t comfortable. The cramping afterwards was pretty intense though. Like extreme period cramps intense. After the first attempt it was clear that for me, taking a day off work was a must. For some the pain might not be so intense. The important thing to note is that it’s not such a horrible pain that it’s intolerable. Some Midol, and bed rest and I should be fine. I wouldn’t do this and go to work the same day. HOWEVER - everyone’s body and pain tolerance is different. This was just my experience. Other people might do this and might only have mild discomfort afterwards. Either way, for the water sono I am required to take antibiotics starting the day before the procedure, and continuing for 4 days after. I am also prescribed Ibuprofen to be taken starting 2 hrs before, and every 4-6 hrs afterwards.

I did learn one thing when doing IUI...and if you are squeamish about masturbation look away to the next paragraph please... *sigh* Generally when I have bad period cramps at the beginning of my period, I will masturbate and it will alleviate some of the cramping. WARNING: It will not help with cramps from his type of procedure so just...don’t. You will regret it. It will make it worse. I have suffered this pain, so you don’t have to.

Okay, moving along, during the water sono they will also be doing a trial run of the embryo implantation. This is supposed to make it easier on the day of the actual implantation. Please note that this is not a complementary service and is an additional charge.

For Canadians, it is important to remember that many things that are added to you procedure are going to be additional charges. It is important that you find out which ones are required, and which are optional. If they are optional - find out why. They may be something that is really important to you, or they may just be an extra hassle and cost. I’m addressing this bit to Canadians because we are used to health care that is covered, and we are often not given alternatives to what the doctor or specialist considers the norm. If it’s available, the idea is - why wouldn’t you do it? You may be asking yourself, if everything is so awesome in Canada, why am I going to the US for this procedure? Well it’s complicated. However, in a nut shell I would never want my country to give up universal health care. In my opinion it saves lives. However, in Ontario (my province) IVF is not covered unless you qualify for government funding. There is a waiting list. I was on this list or 3 years while I tried other covered options (one of which endangered my fertility health - but that is a blog for another day). When I finally qualified, I had gained a good deal of weight, both from the hormones I as taking for infertility treatment, and from my infertility condition (PCOS). I also have a few physical injuries that makes repetitive motion (many forms of exercise) painful, and likely to result in further injury. These things will only get worse with time - not better. So...I finally qualified for funding aaaannnnddd...I am too fat. At 5 ft 4in and 220 lbs. Too fat to not only NOT qualify for funding BUT - and here’s the kicker - according to my Canadian specialist even if I paid out of my own pocket if my BMI went up one point during the process (and it will because of the hormones required) they will automatically cancel the procedure and not continue. *disclaimer: I have my doubts about the accuracy of this assessment, as I have done some gentle digging on this topic, however at this point I’d had enough bull shit, and wanted an unbiased 2nd opinion.

Now I have known people, with a higher BMI than me go to the same clinic I am going to in the US, and they have had healthy pregnancies, and healthy children. This is my goal. A healthy pregnancy, and a healthy child. And the clinic’s success rates are the best in the state. I just found out that my own family doctor is looking into the exact same location for her own treatment. I am confident in my research. Even if this doesn’t work out - even if I don’t get pregnant after all this - I went to the best people for the job. People who are not content to just keep throwing unsuccessful procedure after procedure at me, just because they know they will for sure get paid by he government (in my opinion). The US clinic’s reputation IS their success rate. If they don’t think this is going to work they are going to tell me because their reputation is the money in their pocket. And THAT is what my husband and I need right now. Not a guarantee so much as good faith. I’m willing to trust them because I know how important success is to them.

That is where we are with this right now. I wish I had done some things differently - like started saving for this 3 years ago - but I don’t really have time or energy for shoulda/coulda/woulda’ s.

Soon, the real fun is going to begin: the hormones. I am already on birth control to prepare my body for the next stage. Taking birth control to get pregnant sounds counter intuitive, but apparently it’s part of the process. When I understand it a little bit better I’ll talk more about it. All I know is that there was a reason I stopped taking birth control in my 20s, and it wasn’t pretty. Also I remember one of the drugs I will be taking in the coming weeks from last year’s IUI attempts and going up is hard, but coming down is terrible. I am not looking forward to that. Add to that a bunch more drugs, and this is going to be a rough ride. Fingers crossed.

#My IVF Adventure #IVF

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heydontcallmejulia · 5 years

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This Season

Oh goodness, y’all. This is going to be a bit long, so grab your popcorn.

If you know me, and love me, I ask that you read this. I ask that you try to understand what major shift is happening in my life at the moment.

A bit of background info

Ever since I was very little, I’ve had an extremely creative, and active imagination. This has benefited me, and hurt me in many ways. I can be thankful, because:

1. It has enabled me to become a better artist and musician.

2. I am creative, and being creative freaking rocks.

It has also hurt me in ways like these:

1. I have OCD.

2. I have OCD.

3. OCD freaking sucks, and no one understands what it’s really all about.

Let me explain

Back in the beginning of January, I started to have very intense episodes of doubts within my faith. These episodes consisted of many panic attacks, sooooo much crying, and well to be frank, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense why it had to be so intense. My faith is/was my everything. I figured this was just my anxiety speaking, and after about a week, it wore off.

You see, I’ve always known I have had anxiety. Anyone who knows me, knows I have anxiety. I am open about it and not ashamed. It’s something I have learned to live and cope with. It just doesn’t “get in the way” for me anymore. But you know what does “get in the way”? My newly found, recently diagnosed OCD.

After about a week went by being panic attack free, more episodes started coming on. This time, the new theme of attack was intrusive thoughts. And... not good ones. These intrusive thoughts went something like this.... 24/7.... in my head.... all the time:

“What would happen if you took that pair of scissors over there and just started cutting off your limbs?”

YEAH. WHAT. And, that’s just one of the thoughts. There were so many. They were relentless, and they scared me! How could, I, Jules Scherer, the most gentle person, have the most violent thoughts?! It made NO sense to me! Anyway, these thoughts scared me. I thought they meant that I was going to act upon these thoughts! I eventually learned after much research, and by reading a book called “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts”, that your thoughts really have no moral quality. They don’t mean... anything! Everyone has unwanted thoughts, and it, by no means, means that they are a bad person. “THANK GOD”, I thought. Thankfully, these thoughts subsided, and I went another week feeling panic free.

You guessed it. The panic, and obsessive thoughts came back! Woo! At this point, I had gone to the doctors... multiple times. I had seen my therapist... multiple times. And, I had an appointment with a psychiatrist.... and I was looking forward to it. I was so desperate to fix this problem, that I was looking forward to a psychiatrist appointment... who am I becoming? This time, the thoughts came back at an even worse rate. Something that targeted, not just everything I loved, but everything I knew to be true. To be sensitive of anyone reading this that also has OCD, ill spare you the details, just so I don’t get your brain working too much on this one thing. I know mine does. I started having an existential crisis. Basically. I started to question everything that I knew to be true. Now, I’m sure we’ve all done this at one point. We’ve all freaked ourselves out about the “what if’s”. But lucky for you, you’ve moved past it, and it doesn’t really bother you 24/7 like my thoughts do. This is called Existential OCD.

The dreams... but what do they mean?

Let’s work our way backwards a little bit. I’m hoping this will help you understand. Last summer, I went to a rather “charismatic” church service, where someone prophesied over me that I should take notice of my dreams, and pay attention to them. Long story short, he wasn’t wrong. God had used my dreams to prepare me, to warn me, and heck- some of my most random dreams have come to be true.

Now, move forward just a little bit. When I turned 19, the word that God gave me for the year was “fearless”. I thought basically that it just meant that by the end of the year, I wouldn’t be scared to ask the McDonalda cashier for extra ketchup. Yeah no. I think God had other ideas. I truly believe, this is apart of His plan. I have been put face to face with ALL my greatest fears in the middle of this season. I almost feel immune to fear at this point.

OK, back to the dreams.

I’ll give you two examples of times God has spoken to me about this season via dreamland.

1.) I was in the middle of an anxious episode, questioning my faith. I felt so upset, I decided to lay my head down for a nap. I had a dream/vision of the Bible being opened to John 14. I immediately woke myself up, and opened my bible to John 14.

"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going."

This passage, is Jesus speaking to His disciples, when THEY were having doubts in THEIR faith. These super epic, on fire for Jesus disciples... having doubts? When they were standing right beside Jesus in that very moment?

I felt as though, that was His way of telling me, that it’s ok, and very human to have doubts. Every Christian has them. Even the early disciples did.

2.) At the very beginning of this whole shebang, I had God, the man himself, tell me that perfect love will get me through this.

I had a dream that I faced all these crazy fears of mine. I jumped off a cliff, I skydived, I even saw some of my family members losing their lives to things I don’t really want to talk about. Basically, I faced all my fears in one dream. At the end of the dream, my sister grabbed me, hugged me, and we walked away. Then, I saw the Bible verse, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear”. The dream ended.

So now what?

So now, I’m at this point of learning to cope and live with OCD. I’m learning slowly to take it as a gift. I’m learning to say, “okay... so what?” to my thoughts. I’m learning slowly, but I’m learning. Everyday, it gets better. Because everyday, I get to make the conscious decision of wether it is going to be a good day or not. And everyday, I choose to have a good day regardless of my circumstances. I am learning to be mindful of every moment, and thanking God for every second that I get to be alive. Even when it hurts. It’s apart of the human condition.

Things you can take away from this blog post:

1.) I’ll be OK, but have grace. I’m struggling.

2.) Your thoughts do not define you.

3.) Mental health is so important. Do not neglect it.

4.) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder isn’t always what you think it might be. It’s not what you see on TV or in the movies. It’s real, and many people you know suffer from it daily. Normal people have it. Take care of people you love. You never know what storm is raging on the inside.

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