#so the guys who get gender affirming focused care will look even better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aggravatetheaxe · 3 years

Text

BO SINCLAIR X TRANS MAN / MAN ALIGNED READER COMING OUT - Pt. 2 - Over the Moon

This title is NSFW. Pt. 1, Under Your Skin, is Safe For Work. If you're a minor, please read that one instead! This one has s*x in it!

It's been a year since you came out to Bo, and while there have been ups and downs and a lot of new things to get used to, you've both done your best to keep the relationship going. But has he learned how to treat you like a man?

CW: NSFW, descriptions of dysphoria, mentions of deadnaming/misgendering, mentions of murder and mortal peril, words that could be considered slurs and/or fetishizing/objectifying (I mean, come on, it's Bo. We're talking extremely raunchy BUT GENDER AFFIRMING sex.)

Soundtrack: x

Words: 3,431

Part One

Masterlist

***

The sun was just setting over Ambrose by the time Lester's truck pulled up to the washed-out road. With a smile, you shifted the big paper bag in your arms and slid out of the passenger side, calling, "Thanks, Les!" over your shoulder.

"You take care now!" he said back, patting Jonesy's behind as she jumped out after you. "Tell those good fer nothin' brothers of mine 'm sorry I couldn't make it to dinner."

You nodded, filling your lungs with fresh air. You loved the hell out of Lester, but you still weren't used to the smell of his truck. "I'll tell them. Drive safe. Thanks again."

Lester waved as he backed out, then pulled a sharp turn to head down the dirt road again, truck clattering the whole way.

You looked down at Jonesy, who had paused to pee in a nearby bush. "You ready, Jonesy?" When she looked up at you, panting, you said, "I know, it's hot. Come on, let's head home. Go home, Jonesy."

She knew the way, taking point and leading you across the small creek, around the bend and into Ambrose.

Your heart soared the moment you stepped into town. You could see pretty much the whole thing from where you stood: the church, the gas station, the house of wax ... and of course the Sinclair house.

You were eager to go find Bo, but you followed Jonesy to the house of wax first, opening one of the front doors to let her in. She'd find her way down to Vincent, and he'd know to come up to the house for dinner in about an hour—unless he didn't show up at all, which wasn't out of the ordinary.

Jonesy pranced into the dusty darkness of the museum, and you watched her retreating form for a few moments, zoning out.

It had been a year since you'd come out to Bo, Vincent, and Lester. A year now that you'd been living as your true self. It felt like much longer than that, and yet, when you thought about it, it somehow felt like only yesterday that you'd told your favorite mechanic.

After stewing over it and your talks, he'd come to terms with your new lifestyle ... gradually. Grudgingly, at times. But he was trying, and that meant something. These days, he only had to correct himself occasionally.

And that was the thing about Bo. He may be ignorant, and he might not get it, but once he had come to terms with something ... once he had decided that something was acceptable ... he was protective as hell. It might take some work, and he might still tease you about it, but if anyone else said something? God help them.

"Boo!"

You jumped, nearly dropping your paper bag as strong hands squeezed your waist. You turned quickly and were met with Bo's grinning face. "You douchebag!"

He snickered. "Scared you, darlin'?" He leaned to look into your bag. "Get anything good?"

"Get your nose out of there." With a grin of your own, you pushed him gently away by the chest. "It's a surprise."

"You know I hate surprises." Nonetheless, Bo relented, straightening and adjusting the brim of his hat. "I'll lock up the shop, meet you up at the house in ten?"

"Sounds good." You craned your neck to kiss his stubbly, sweaty cheek, then passed him. As you did, he smacked your ass. "Ugh! Come on, dude."

"You know ya like it, dude."

You could still hear him snickering to himself like an idiot as you parted ways, starting up the hill to the house while he returned to the garage. The door was unlocked as usual. You stopped in the kitchen to shove the groceries in the fridge before starting upstairs. It was hot as hell today, and you were in desperate need of a shower, slicked with more sweat than you cared to think about.

Once in the bedroom, you kicked your shoes under the end of the bed, then stripped off your shirt. You'd been wearing your binder for a few hours now, so you peeled it off, relishing the feeling of air hitting your hot skin. As you chucked the binder to the floor, you glanced into the full-length mirror near the dresser.

Your hormone therapy was going well. You were hairier, your face was slightly different, your fat had redistributed and made you squarer in a way that made you downright giddy. Your chest wasn't flat, but more and more every day, you found you didn't care—even enjoyed the look of it. Wearing a binder in public saved you from being misgendered, but around Ambrose, you didn't wear it all that much.

You ghosted your fingers over the hair on your arms and hands, thinking back. The road to the place you were at had been rocky, to say the least. For you and for Bo. When the HRT had started taking effect especially, he'd gotten weird and silent all over again, like it was finally really setting in for him. But he'd rarely voiced any criticisms aloud besides some offhanded asinine comments, so you'd just let him deal with whatever internal struggle he was dealing with.

Those days had been a struggle for you, too. But by now, he'd gotten over himself. He even dutifully helped with your shots, administering them like they were the most serious shit in the world.

It made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, how far he had come. How far you'd both come. For a few long minutes, you were lost in your scrutiny, fingering stretch marks and admiring your hands.

You were so deep in thought that when the bedroom door creaked open, you jumped, instinctively covering your chest before you realized who it was. "You scared me."

"That's twice today." Bo smirked as he hung his hat on one of the bedposts. "You sure are jumpy."

"You're almost as quiet as Vincent when you wanna be." You bit your lip and glanced back at the mirror.

In the reflection, you noticed Bo looking you up and down slowly. After a beat, he approached from behind, wrapping his arms around your middle and meeting your gaze. As he did, he raised his hands to your chest, strong fingers rubbing your breast tissue in deep circles. Ever since you'd complained about how tender you got after being compressed for hours, he'd done this. You were pretty sure it was just an excuse to touch your boobs, but it felt nice at least.

You relaxed back into him with a sigh, letting him support you a bit. "How was your day?"

"A lot better now that you're home, handsome." He craned his head to kiss your neck and stayed like that, mouth buried in the crook. "Fuck, you smell good," he mumbled into your skin, fingers never stilling.

You couldn't help but squirm a little under his praise. You smelled like sweat, and worse, man sweat, but Bo always seemed fascinated with it, more than content to snuggle up to you and take your changing body in.

"I smell like a highschool gym locker," you mumbled, though you couldn't hide your goofy smile in the mirror.

He raised his eyes and brows to meet your gaze in the reflection again. "You sure? I used ta play football ... don't remember the other guys smellin' this hot."

You squeezed one of the arms around your waist, trying to ignore the heat of your face. The sight of him rubbing your breasts and the feeling of his rough fingers against your sensitive skin was already crazy-making enough. "I bet you found it a little hot."

A year ago, you wouldn't have dared make a joke like that. You didn't even wanna think about how offended he would've gotten. Now, though, his only reaction was a smile that crinkled his eyes and a little sparkle in his pupils.

"All those sweaty, strong guys bumping up against each other in steamy close quarters." Your smile turned into a grin. "Bet it kinda turned you on."

Bo snorted. "Wouldn't really know. I usually changed in the janitor's closet." A bit of vulnerability flashed in his eyes, but he quickly recovered by focusing the attention back on you. "Anyway, none a' them were like you. Where you goin', lookin' like that?"

As he spoke, his hands slid down your front, hugging your hips so your ass was pressed tight against him. You shivered hard. "Looking like what? This is just my body."

He grunted, and you watched in fascination as his gaze ate you up. He rubbed your flanks with his thumbs. "You're a real pretty boy, you know that? Not like other guys at all..."

Your heart skipped a beat, and you suppressed the urge to hide your face in your hands. Still, you averted your eyes from the mirror, too shy to look at yourself any longer. "I dunno about that, but thanks."

Bo shifted. He huffed in your ear, and you lifted your head enough to see him frowning down at you. After a few moments, his expression changed to something slightly more neutral, eyes alight. "Don't make me hafta teach you a lesson, sweetheart. I might enjoy it too much."

Those words sent a thrill up your spine, flipping your stomach. He looked like a predator about to strike its prey, and god, it took everything you had not to give in right away. You raised your chin in a challenge. "What lesson is that, hm?"

Bo's expression shifted again. He grinned, bottom lip caught between his teeth. One hand left your hip, wrapping around your throat just under your chin.

Then, he pivoted, and with one good yank, threw you onto the bed.

You loosed a soft breath as you bounced on the mattress, looking up at him. Defiance fluttered its wings in your chest. "Well? You never answered my question."

"Shh." His hand returned, this time over your mouth. "None a' that now. I'm not in the mood for dolin' out punishment. You just sit there nice 'n' lemme show you what ya do to me, understand?"

Even if you could say something with his hand over your mouth, all you wanted to do was stare at him—at those beautiful blue eyes that seemed to see right through you.

"Tch." His crooked grin made a brief appearance, though it was more of a snarl, showing off his gums. "What a good li'l soldier."

With that, Bo moved in on you, kissing you hard. Teeth and noses clashed painfully before he drew you closer and deeper, his tongue exploring you like he could drink you in. You returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm, grunting into his mouth, then giving a groan when you felt his large hand cup you between the legs.

A sharp inhale, and he pulled back slightly. His lips moved against yours as he whispered, "Whose is that? Who does this pussy belong to, dickbait?"

Your breath hitched. "You."

"Me. That's right." He squeezed and rubbed through your jeans. You could already feel how wet you were, folds sliding together. A second later, he'd undone your button and zipper and slipped his hand into your underwear. "Fuck, that's nice." His lips still brushed against yours, breath hot on your face and in your mouth. "Love that boy cunt. You're just as wet, aintcha?"

As he stroked you, his thumb found your swollen clit. You gasped when he put pressure on it.

"So wet for your man."

You shuddered and dared to quip back, "And it looks like you're pretty hard for yours."

Finally, he pulled back to meet your eyes, lust warring with challenge. He stared for a few moments before saying, his voice nearly a growl, "I'mmuna make you come, pussyboy. Yeah. Squirt all up my stomach 'n' chest ... we'll see if you still gimme an attitude once you're screamin' and shakin' under me."

You had no smart comeback for that. You simply melted onto his hand, grinding against him as he slid two fingers inside your hot, needy pussy. The feeling of him curling his fingers and stroking you deep already had you biting back incoherent dirty talk, every nerve electric.

"Pretty young buck like you, walkin' around lookin' like that ... you're just askin' for dick." He licked his lips and used his other hand to help you shimmy out of your jeans. Soon, you were bare, gushing all over his fingers as he loomed over you. "Am I right?"

"Y-Yeah," you pushed out, leaning back on your palms so he could get a better angle. "Fuck, Bo—"

"Y/N," he mumbled back, free hand gripping the back of your head. "Y/N."

You heard him say your name all the time, but the way he said it now, the way he was staring into your eyes ... you knew this meant something more. He wasn't just fucking you, he was fucking you. He was seeing you.

You couldn't take it anymore. Your head was spinning with every circle his thumb made around your clit, but you needed more. With a strangled gasp, you gripped his biceps. "Bo, baby, inside—fuck, please, I need you."

He smirked above you. "Not until you admit you're the handsomest goddamn man in Ambrose."

You groaned. "Come on!"

"Sorry, gorgeous, those're the rules. C'mon, lemme hear you say it."

Your cheeks burned, but he wouldn't stop playing with your pussy, and you didn't want to come without his cock inside you. "I-I can't," you muttered, only half joking. "What about you, big cat?"

"Besides me." He thrust his fingers in particularly firmly, drawing a shout from you. "Say, 'I'm the handsomest goddamn man in Ambrose.' I wanna see you say it while you're ridin' my hand, and you better convince me."

You panted for a few more moments before finally giving in, sputtering, "I'm the ... handsomest goddamn man in Ambrose," followed immediately by a groan, your eyes rolling back in your head.

"I'm not buyin' it."

"I'm the handsomest goddamn man in Ambrose!" He certainly made you feel like it.

"Good boy." After one last jerk, Bo drew his fingers from you, going to work his belt off. His cock sprung from his Dickies, already red and glistening with precum. He caught your calves in iron grips as he lined himself up with your hole. "I c'n smell you. Slut. So fuckin' messy for me."

As he slid in, your head lolled back. You dropped to your elbows, then gave up completely and laid flat, unable to hold yourself up for shaking.

Bo almost cooed, throbbing gently inside you. "Lookit my beautiful boyfriend ... already half way ta heaven. Haven't even started poundin' that sloppy boy pussy yet. Ya can't lose it on me already, ace."

Even the stupid nicknames got you hot somehow. You watched him through half-lidded eyes, panting. When he began to thrust, you yowled like a hurt animal, the drag of his dick sending flames spitting through your limbs.

His grip tightened as he rolled his hips into you, in and out, in and out, picking up pace. "You like that, loverboy? Shit, sure looks like ya do." He lifted his chin. "Stick your tongue out."

Obediently, you parted your lips with your tongue, trying not to drool too much.

Bo couldn't hide the way his eyes sparkled as he watched your mouth, or the way his dick swelled in you. His hips moved faster, your slickness enough for him to glide. It felt so nice, but that alone wouldn't make you come, and he knew that—he was savoring this.

Eventually, his shirt found its way to the floor, followed by his pants and boxer-briefs. The sight of him bare with you, glistening in the hot afternoon, made it hard to breathe.

With one of his hands, he propped your leg up so it was resting against his chest and slightly over his shoulder; with the other, he explored your torso, dragging his calloused hands up your hip, across your stomach, to your breasts. He still played with them often, sucking and squeezing, and you found you didn't mind. The way it made you feel and the way he was looking at you, how could you ever hate it? Plus, you weren't sure he'd take no for an answer regardless.

A growl ripped from your chest as he bent to suck one of your nipples, latching on for a few moments before flicking his tongue, then running it flat in circles. He whispered heatedly, lips brushing against you, accent slurring, "I love your tits ... you know I love ya tits, righ'? Fuck, ya so hot..."

You knew he'd miss them if you decided to get rid of them. Honestly, that was half the reason you were reconsidering that idea. You never wanted to forget the way he worshiped them: licking, sucking, slapping, squeezing his dick between them...

"Come on, romeo," Bo panted, his mouth still against your chest as he plowed into you. Wet clapping filled the room as his balls met your ass, again and again, almost unbearably warm. "Come on, fuck ya'self off tha'."

He loosened his grip on you, giving you more freedom to move. Now he was fucking firmer, his angle more deliberate, the hot head of his cock hitting your sweet spot with every thrust. You loosed another yowl and bucked your hips to meet his.

"Bo," you groaned. "Bo, Bo..."

"Tha's my man." He was losing control of himself, his voice choked and desperate. "Tha's my man. Tha's my fuckin' man."

"Yeah—! You— you like fucking other guys, angel? Huh?"

Bo exhaled harshly, twitching inside you. "Like makin' 'em scream, too. 'Specially this one. My— handsome li'l— pussyboy—"

You could feel the muscles of his sweat-slicked thighs and abs flexing as he tried to hold himself back, trying to keep himself from finishing. You knew one comment from you would push him over the edge ... so you waited until you were at your edge, too, to choke out: "Fill that slutty boy pussy up, cher. Show me who's the big man around here, who gets to come wherever he wants. Show me who's boss— fuck—!"

Bo lurched, sinking his teeth in the crook of your neck. Every inch of him tensed, cock jumping, and you saw white as your entire core became molten between your orgasm and his.

When you were next aware of your surroundings, he had collapsed into you, slumped a bit awkwardly over the edge of the bed. He was breathing hard, his hair damp with sweat. It dripped down his spine, too, and down the back of your thighs. You gripped him tightly, wrapping your arms and legs around him, and the two of you stayed like that for a minute or so.

Eventually, he pulled away, rolling onto his back beside you. One of his strong, square hands still gripped your wrist, though, thumb brushing the back of your hand lightly. He opened his pretty blue eyes, all long lashes as he blinked away the haze of his climax.

Then he looked over at you—and, of course, found you already staring at him. His lips quirked up in a smirk. "Angel?"

You could feel yourself flush. "Romeo?"

The smirk turned into a wolfish grin, and he propped himself up on one elbow, stealing a kiss. "You're cute," he declared after a moment, like he was giving his official opinion on the subject.

"You're one to talk. Can we at least agree that I'm the second handsomest man in Ambrose?"

Bo heaved a sigh. "A'right, a'right, fine. Guess numero uno is my cross ta bear."

"Always."

With a laugh, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close for a kiss. It started heated and rough, but as the seconds passed, it became more tender. He slipped a hand into your hair and held you in the kiss for an extended period before pulling away, an intense gaze searching your face.

"I love you," he breathed. "Ya know that, right?"

It wasn't often he said it unprompted; usually when he told you he loved you, it was because you'd said it first. At once, tears sprung to your eyes, and you leaned in for another quick kiss.

You did know—you did. And more importantly, he knew. He knew everything and he still said those three little words. He saw you and this and he still wanted all of it.

And fuck, you wanted it, too.

***

Masterlist

Tip Jar

#bo sinclair #bo sinclair fluff #bo sinclair x y/n #bo sinclair x you #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair x trans man reader #house of wax 2005 #lester sinclair #slasher x y/n #slasher x reader #slasher x you #slasher x trans man reader #slasher community #written

127 notes · View notes

thisnoodlewritesao3 · 3 years

Note

SELF INDULGENT TIME so like what would happen 👀if you surprised the boys 👀👀 with new hair👀👀👀

I DID IT LOOK!!!! LOOK I DID IT!!!! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

This is for Daichi, Sugawara, Tsukishima, and Bokuto. All with a Gender Neutral Reader! Please let me know if anything is gendered <3

ALSO THANK YOU TO @pies-writes-and-more FOR LITERALLY HELPING ME WITH THE IDEAS FOR THESE GOD KNOWS HOW LONG AGO!!! I WOULD NOT HAVE SURVIVED HAD IT BEEN FOR YOU

--------

Daichi -

(gif is not mine)

“You really think he’s going to like it?” You fiddled with the ends of your hair, biting your lip and looking at Kiyoko in the corner of your eye.

It was that time of year again where it was getting too hot to be able to deal with your hair, so you cut the majority of it off.

The VBC manager looked over at you, sighing a little with a smile dancing on her lips, “he’ll love it.” She affirms you, though you can’t help the hesitation in your returned smile.

You hadn’t been able to see him all day - the only reason you’d met Daichi was because of Kiyoko, she just accidentally introduced you when you needed to return a pen to her and did it by showing up to her club after school.

After that day, the volleyball club boys showed up to your classroom more often. Somehow Daichi’s eyes always managed to find you. The rest was history (history being Kiyoko telling you to suck it up and ask him out).

It had barely been a month, Summer break was nearing with each passing day. You let out a soft sigh, walking with Kiyoko to where the boys hung out during lunch.

You really didn't know how he was going to react, but you hoped it was good.

When you rounded the corner, you saw him sitting in all his glory, drinking something you couldn’t quite make out from here. Asahi smiled and waved you over.

You watched Daichi turn his head to see what Asahi who Asahi was calling over.

Time seemed to slow down for this moment. You really wished you’d recorded Daichi’s reaction as he spotted you. His eyes shot open to their fullest - he was still mid-drink, but that stopped as he spat most of his drink out while gasping.

Suga - upon realising that Daichi probably choked - proceeded to smack his friend on the back. Hard. “I’ll save you!” He called out, only making things so much worse.

Asahi had the most disgusted look on his face as he yelled at Daichi for spitting some sort of juice on him. You were stifling laughter, but Daichi wasn’t even throwing any insults at Asahi for being a wuss, his eyes were glued to you (and one arm was focused on shoving Suga away).

“Hey,” you giggled, sitting down next to him.

You’d never seen Daichi speechless before, there’s a first for everything you suppose. When he doesn’t answer right away, you wave a hand in front of his eyes. He blinks quickly, doing a deep intake of breath and smiling so wide you’re worried his face might split in two.

“Hey.” He breathes out, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. “This is new.” He hums, running his hands through your hair. You lean into his touch.

In the background, you can hear Suga gagging at your signs of affection, but you didn’t care. Especially since Daichi was here and looking at you like you were everything. “Yep, it’s getting warm so I;m doing some preventative measures.”

“I like it.” Somehow, three simple words managed to set off butterflies in you that were almost too overwhelming. Feeling the warmth spread to your cheeks, you turned away, stifling anxious laughter. He cupped your cheek and turned your head back. “It looks so beautiful.”

You really loved Daichi, especially since you knew he meant it with every part of him.

Sugawara -

(gif is not mine)

Suga barely caught sight of you when he knew something was different - and he knew it was your hair in a second. That mischievous smirk pulled at his lips when you walked into the gym, greeting Ukai, who complimented your hair and then turned back to yelling at someone for… something?

He sauntered over you, and you couldn’t help but wonder what he was up to. “You’re new around here.” An obvious flirty tone made you quirk your brows up. Catching his drift, you smirked up at him.

“Just thought I’d come see some cute boys play volleyball,” you hummed, leaning against the wall, “L/N Y/N.” You held out a hand to him, which he gladly took and used to pull you closer.

“So, you here to see anyone specific” He let out a low whistle as you brushed your hair out of your face. Internally, you were snorting - this happened every time you tried a new hairstyle - still, it made you feel good.

You took your time glancing around at the boys, making sure to give the best flirty look possible to Daichi (who was now thoroughly used to how your relationship with Suga was). “No one in particular, why? Are you interested?” You teased him.

“Of course,” he chuckled, capturing a few strands of your hair between his fingers and humming happily, “how could I not be when you’re stood here looking so beautiful?”

“Suga,” Ukai called out to him, pinching the bridge of his nose, “this is cute and all, but get back to practise!”

Suga tossed you a wink over his shoulder as he jogged towards the court.

“Why’re you like this?” Ukai asked you, and you only shrugged.

“He started it.” And he didn’t need to respond, because that was the whole truth.

It was one of the things you’d had to get used to when being with Suga, the fact that he liked to mindlessly flirt with you at any second - either that or he’d tease you to no end - but he’d never tease you about your appearance, that was one bridge even he wouldn’t cross. Well, unless it was Asahi.

His eyes constantly floated over to you, making sure you were definitely watching him today. As if it would be any different to say any other day. With each successful set, you were shooting him a thumbs up and a big smile; every receive, spike, dig. It was all so mesmerizing to you.

You’d be sure to thank your friend again for dragging you to a volleyball game in your second year and getting you hooked on it (well, mostly Suga).

If it hadn't been for that, you never would have introduced yourself to him. “L/N Y/N!” You held your hand out to him and smiled. “I loved the way you played, and I think you’re very cute.” That was all it took and you and Suga were wrapped around each other’s fingers.

Whipped. He had you whipped, you had him whipped. But it was perfect. So sweet.

When his practise finished, he pranced over to you and wrapped his arms around you in his disgusting sweaty hugs he insisted on giving you every single practise. You gagged and tried to push him off.

“You really like it?” You asked when he finally let you go. You motioned to your hair (which you’d recently dyed grey to support him in his final year, like the good partner you were). He hummed happily, kissing your cheeks and the tip of your nose quickly.

“I love it,” he hums. You were ready to die from the love, but he had to ruin the moment. “Like a sexy little old person.”

You slapped Suga on the arm and stormed away from him. His laughter made your stomach flip as he chased after you.

Sometimes Suga was an asshole. Sometimes he was the sweetest boy to ever exist. But he was yours all the time, and that made you happy.

That’s what you kept telling yourself when he wouldn’t stop teasing you about how cheesy it was to dye your hair like his.

Tsukishima -

(gif is not mine)

You weren’t sure what you expected. Of course, Tsukishima didn’t care about your hair. Why would he? He probably thought something like this was lame.

Still, that didn’t stop you from trying to get his attention (he was your boyfriend, after all). So, you spent so much time in every interaction with him fiddling with your hair. Running your hand through it? Did it. Twirling the ends in your fingertips? Check. You name it, you’d done it.

Nothing worked. It honestly left you really disappointed. It wasn’t like you’d cut a small amount of your hair off; you’d gotten a decent amount cut, and yet, nothing.

“Maybe he just hasn’t noticed.” Yamaguchi said, trying his best to be helpful. The look you gave him radiated really? and he nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re right, well… it looks great. So, he’s just lame.” His attempt at making you feel better worked a little.

“Thanks Tadashi.” You hummed.

Still, being with the Tsukishima Kei came with its own wave of insecurities. Maybe you would have faired better today if he had said it looks stupid (at least he would have noticed it then). But…

You sigh, running your hands through your hair, regretting everything now.

Little did you know, Tsukishima had noticed your hair. In fact, he thought it was lovely. That was what he was repeating as Yamaguchi yelled at him down the other end of your phone.

“-their your partner, you really couldn’t say anything?” Yamaguchi was pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing heavily.

“It looks nice, do I really need to tell them that every time they change it?” Tsukishima sighed; he really didn’t understand the rules of being in a relationship. Why did he need to tell you you looked beautiful every day when you knew he thought you were? Did he need to do that?

“Yes!” Yamaguchi - unknowingly - answered both of his questions.

It seemed to click in his head. That was why you spent all day messing with your hair more than usual. He just thought you were extra anxious today (although maybe he’d made you anxious).

“Tsukki, you’re an idiot.” Yamaguchi laughed after the middle block made a noise of realisation.

“Shut up, Tadashi…” Tsukishima grumbled, because God forbid he admit he was wrong.

So, like the good boyfriend he was, he started making his way to your house at 7 o’ clock to make sure you knew he loved your hair. He really did put in so much effort for you - not that he’d ever tell anyone it.

He spends the walk to yours thinking about how he was going to say this, or how you’d react. He does love you, and sure, he doesn’t say it as much as the next guy, but he shows it in so many more ways, right?

Tsukishima tells you he loves you by buying you your favourite drink from the vending machine every day at lunch; he tells you he loves you by trying out your favourite foods even when he insists he doesn’t like them; he tells you he loves you by linking your pinkies together in the school hall; he tells you he loves you by making you a playlist of the songs that make him think of you.

So why did you need him to tell you that you were beautiful no matter what? Day or night; rain or sun; no matter how old, he thought you were beautiful, from the bottom of his heart.

He supposed it was nice to hear - because he did love to hear how handsome you thought he was.

Knocking on the door to your house left him just a little anxious, that feeling only heightened when you opened the door with red-rimmed eyes, looking up at him so sadly. “Kei?” You called out, unsure why he was here so late. He hadn’t even told you he was coming, it wasn’t like him to just… show up, so, why?

“I can’t believe I have to tell you this,” he grumbles and looks away, cheeks tinted red (it would be him blushing, but he’d blame the cold air when you teased him later), “I think your hair is amazing, idiot.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, making sure that he can catch your expression in the corner of his eye.

Your mouth drops open before quickly pouting, trying to fight back tears as you throw yourself at him, squeezing him in a hug.

“Wh-”

“Thank you…” your voice is so weak, shaking ever so lightly. He makes a point to run his fingers through your hair and gently massage your scalp, leaning down to kiss your head.

Tsukishima thought you were beautiful, and right now, that’s all that mattered.

Bokuto -

(gif is not mine)

If you’d have told yourself yesterday that your boyfriend would spend the entire day avoiding you, you’d have laughed in your own face. Because why would he do that?

Well, maybe it’s what you get for surprising him with an entirely new haircut. Or, more so, you’d dyed your hair black and white to match his. Your entire plan to see him get so excited had completely backfired.

To give him credit, at least you knew he would never cheat, because the moment you tackled him in a hug and he didn’t recognise you immediately, he pushed you off exclaiming, “you can’t do that, I have a partner!” Before running off.

At first, it hurt a little. Every time you tried to go near him, he’d run in the opposite direction. You told Akaashi about it - he was in your class, after all - and the two of you started a bet as to when he’d figure out it was you and not some random person. There was that general worry that he wouldn’t figure it out.

The funny thing was that he still texted you throughout the day, telling you about this random person (read: you) and how they wouldn’t leave him alone. You laughed at his texts, rolling your eyes and promising that everything would be okay.

Of course, you had to surprise him at the end of the day. He didn’t react too well, but you and Akaashi shared a knowing smirk, “they’re here, too!” He dove behind Akaashi - the spiker only sighed and stepped towards you.

The gym waited with baited breath for what would happen. “Hey, did you finish studying already?” He spoke casually to you. Bokuto gasped in betrayal - because how dare he talk to you after you’d stalked him all day - and started stepping towards the two of you.

“Yeah, it wasn’t that much anyway.” You shrugged, trying to hide your excitement.

If you looked closely enough, you could see the cogs turning in his head. You just knew he was trying to figure out when Akaashi got a partner (and why his partner looked so much like you). His eyes widened as he tentatively stepped closer to you.

With each passing second, more tension grew. Akaashi was trying his best not to burst out laughing - subsequently making it harder for you to not laugh.

A switch flipped in his head and he gasped. “Wait a minute! That’s my partner!”

That broke you, both you and Akaashi finally letting out your howling laughter. Bokuto threw himself at you, hugging you like his life depended on it.

“Took you long enough.” You rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around him and humming happily.

He pulled away and pouted at you, “why did you change your pretty hair?” He fumbled the strands in his fingertips. “Not that it isn’t pretty! It’s very pretty, but a different kind of pretty.” You snorted at his phrasing.

“Well,” you smiled sweetly up at him, “I wanted us to match.”

Once again, the wheels in his head turned before he gasped, lifting you up and spinning you around. Such wonder in his eyes.

Sure, you’d spend later comforting because you were prettier than him now, and he’s the ugly one in the relationship (his words, not yours), but it would be worth it to see the way his eyes would light up so much more at every single match you attended. After every win, he’d parade you around and explode with so much joy. He’d brag to Kuroo that his partner’s hair matched his.

You’d never felt luckier to be Bokuto’s.

--------

General Taglist:

@pies-writes-and-more @satan-ruler-of-hells @dekuspet @samkysnks @tobi-momo @kaleidoscopekai

If you want to be added to the taglist, send a DM or an ask :D

#sugawara x reader #tsukishima x reader #daichi x reader #bokuto x reader #gender neutral reader #gn!reader #thisnoodlewrites #haikyuu!!#fluff #drabble

132 notes · View notes

lilsuzn · 3 years

Text

MLQC Victor - Fluff abc headcanons

Fandom: Mr. Love: Queen’s Choice

Warnings: None. Fluffy flluff. The reader is gender neutral :)))

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

The ambition.

The witt.

The open-mindedness.

The kindness.

The creativity and imagination.

The passion.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Smile. He loves it, because it’s a clear indication of your happiness.

Your eyes light up, cheeks become so adorably pink.

He has a different picture of your smile on a main screen and lock screen of every device he has. Even his work laptop.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Given his initial attitude you couldn’t believe how after your first time together Victor got cuddly out of the sudden.

He’s not clingy. He doesn’t do it at any given occasion, but when you are alone in the comfort of his home - he will want to cuddle and might even get a bit touchy-feely sometimes.

Spooning on the couch is his favorite. He can be a big or a small spoon. He doesn’t really have a prefered role. Victor just wants to be close and keep you warm.

Candles and slow music.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

Perfect gentlemanly manners.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

His ideal date would be a cosy, romantic dinner at his place. Just the two of you. Everything will be served to you. And don’t even think about helping him wash the dishes afterwards.

He can be quite aloof in public.

If he bares himself to you - it’s only in private (if at all).

When the look in his eyes softness and the corners of his lips tug upwards - that’s when he pulls you close and lays kisses all over your face.

Doesn’t really know how to talk about his feelings. Won’t really try unless absolutely necessary.

Will take extremely good care of you if you need it. Sick? Tired? Grumpy? Sad? He would nag, but is ready to stop the earth and move the sun if it is to make you smile at him again.

He’s a hard worker and would rather die than to give up on keeping you happy. And by his side.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

YES.

Whenever you are ready and if you want to have kids at all - he will be happy to provide.

Only thought of you carrying his child makes him all hot and bothered, but that’s obviously not all.

He just wants to have everything with you. Beautiful wedding, big house, children... maybe even a dog, if you into THOSE -.-

He sometimes imagines you both gray and old with your grandchildren. Making cookies in the kitchen or walking around the park.

He (very) secretly dreams about ending your love story the same way it ended in the Notebook (that he has officially never seen!). Embracing each other. Closing your eyes for the last time knowing that your children are safe and happy. That’s just who he is deep deep deep inside - a hopeless romantic.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

Well, he doesn’t really believe that gifts are an indication of love. People give each other gifts all the time and for no apparent reason.

He cherishes every gift you give him, but if it was the only thing you did, he wouldn’t be too happy about it.

Same goes for him. He’s a man with money. He might not be able to give you ANYTHING you might want, but he can sure provide you with a lot.

And he will. He could never leave you wanting without a good reason. He sees it as his responsibility to gift his beloved one with everything a woman might want.

Every work trip - a bag full of ‘I’m sorry I left’ gifts. He just needs to prove it to you that he was thinking about you every second he was away and how else could he do it?

He also likes to present, well, himself with jewelry or clothes for you to wear. Something beaming like your smile? Something precious like you are for him?

He just can’t deny himself the pleasure of seeing you look so gorgeous in something he personally picked out.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Oh, so you thought you would be able to NOT hold hands on every possible occasion? Cute.

Don’t feel like cuddling on the couch or in the bed? Okay, hands holding it is.

Feel like cuddling? Okay, but don’t let go of his hand.

Walking around the town together? You better believe he won’t let a chance to show off his wonderful woman slip. Yes, madam old lady walking by, yes mister homeless guy going down the trash container, yes madam sales lady and you, random guy on a bike - she’s my babe.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

If you injure yourself by being distracted while ie. cutting something with a knife or stirring something hot - he will get a bit upset with you.

But even though he will bumble discontentedly under his nose, he will take better care of you than you need. Hurt your right hand? He will feed you, write things down for you and whatever else he sees necessary. Hurt your foot? You’re being carried around and he will be mad if you try to walk on your own. “I know it’s nothing serious, but what if it gets worse when you always walk so carelessly?”

If somebody else hurt you? Well, he’s ready to kill with cold blood. Wouldn’t hesitate.

Stabs as a warning.

If you got seriously hurt he would probably close himself in the bathroom and cry for a while, but nobody but him will ever know.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

He finds such acts very childish and would never prank you. He flinches with only a thought of the word.

If you attempt such a thing to him, he will get VERY UPSET.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Full of love.

He doesn’t like to kiss just for the sake of it or for the expectation to kiss your partner.

If your lips meet it’s always in an emotion-filled kiss.

No matter if it's a featherlight, sugarsweet, lovingly sensual or burning hot kiss - it's always intense in it’s own way.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

Acts of service - His mane operational system. He lives to please you. To treat you like a goddess you are for him. Acts like he’s taking notes of your preferences, dreams and dislikes. Only buys the coffee you like. Stops eating meat for you. Do you remember saying that you wanted that cute, sakura starbucks mug, but had no idea where to get it? He does. He ordered it for you already. Remember briefly mentioning that you would want to see Tokyo in winter? He already has a whole trip planned.

Gifts - well, I already covered it in G, but I’ll just add that he will surely be reluctant to buy you some seemingly useless stuff even if you ask for them.

Physical touch - once again, Victor isn’t really clingy or touchy feely. He has his moments, we all do, but usually he just likes to hold hands and that’s all he wants for outsiders to see. At home he gets a little more physical, but not too much. Some affectionate caressing and hugs. Kissing is not that often of an occurrence, but when it happens is usually preparation for devil's tango (which with him happens pretty often but that’s not the list for the details).

Quality time - See Q.

Words of affirmation - Well, he is a good critic. Too good. However it’s just because he wants you to push your limits to thrive. He will tell you that he’s proud of you, appreciates what you are doing for him/your relationship and other things that are usually task/success related, because that’s the only appreciation words he appreciates. Words are empty for him. He’s a lawyer, he knows how willingly people lie to get what they want and how hesitant they are to make some more effort when it comes to it. Will tell you that he loves you at least once a day, because he always adds it to his to do list. Won’t praise your beauty too much, but you can tell he likes what he sees when he likes it. If you wear red lipstick the man will basically drool, but will not say a word until he pushes you down on his bed… and the rest is history.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

Remember that third date I mentioned? The one his kissed you for the first time on?

It was a very nice date.

He took you for a walk around the rose garden. Bought you your favorite coffee to keep you warm during the breezy evening.

Didn’t let go of your hand for a moment.

You looked so pretty that night. Smiled so pretty. TALKED so pretty.He didn’t even realise when he stopped and leaned down. He could not have noticed when you closed the gap between you.

But the kiss was outwardly. That first one and every other you shared that night.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

To disappoint you.

He sure is scared of losing you, hurting you and a few more, but seeing you disappointed by him…

To imagine such a thing is already hurtful for him.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

Taking photos of you while you’re asleep.

He just can’t help it. You’re so beautiful. And cute.

Would never show them to anyone though. Not even you.

No… He couldn’t even confess to you about it. It’s just his little secret.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Is ‘dummy’ a pet name? Because… Dummy.

‘Baby’ might also happen if he's feeling playful or you did something cute.

If he’s in a good mood you can count on ‘my love’ or ‘my lovely’ - but never in public.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

Can’t do without it.

As I said in D, Victor will both serve you and entertain you. Whatever you want to do - he’s okay with doing it with you.

He might not really pay any attention to some of your movies and work on his laptop instead, but he wouldn’t even dream about leaving you alone and doing it in his comfortable office instead.

He rearranged his home office so you would come over and you both work together more often and more happily. Now you sit across from each other and, heh, see H.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

Me? Myself?

Beyonce - Ego. OBVIOUSLY. Check it out if you don’t know it. (it’s a tiny, little bit suggestive, beware)

But in the more romantic mood…

The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

You need to put a lot of work for him to finally open up.

After that first time, however, if he finds your reaction pleasant, he will start testing the waters on his own from time to time.

THEN, if you won’t fail his many, many tests of course, he will open up for good.

No secrets. No hiding his feelings. He’s your book that is eager to be read.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

He doesn’t fall for anyone. Ever.

If he was to, I’d have to be a conscious decision. With a lot of thought put into it.

That’s what he was telling to himself his whole life, a least.

But then when he met you… it wasn’t a love at first sight, but it took approximately a fithteen minutes of group conversation for him to get all tingly on the inside.

He didn’t ask you out that day and he regretted it alot. The next time you run across each other on the street, he spears no time.

He kissed you on your third date. Neither of you voiced it, but the situation was very clear.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

He acts upset.

He’s angry and he either actively doesn't talk with you or throws passive aggressive comments around.

He doesn’t beat around the bush. He’s upset.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

You're absolutely supreme in his eyes.

Beautiful, intelligent, talented.

He takes a lot of pride by introd you as his partner. Takes you everywhere he can as his plus one, so he can show you off to even more people.

Talks instead of you as he does that, but obviously you are more than okay with that.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Do I even have to say it?

Because it’s obvious. Have you even ever heard about this guy?

He would kill and die for you.

Do anything to keep you by his side and happy. That’s just who he is - a fighter… for you.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

His talent to read people is one of the main things he owes his success to.

Even if you don’t show what’s inside your head in your face, he sure will find other ways to read you.

You can’t hide anything from him.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

As I said, he doesn’t show it off much, but it’s quite clear in his gestures towards you - he’s a hopeless romantic that is madly in love with you.

Christmas morning. Sipping on hot chocolates that Victor made for you. You open your presents.

As always, you end up ashamed of how little you spent on him, even though you couldn’t really afford more. He bought you so many things you’re not even sure you’ll be able to store it.

After going through a few bigger presents, you finally go down on the smaller ones.

One of them particularly tiny, causing an awwww to leave your lips.

You got a few rings from Victor before and even more pairs of earrings. It really didn’t seem suspicious, especially since you’ve been dating for only a few months then.

But after you open up the box and see it… you get a bit confused at first.

White and yellow gold molten together creating an uneven coloration of a band that bends and twists and splits like a branch that holds two gleaming diamonds like they were two blooming flowers. One white - bigger, other pink - smaller.

Their cut - unseen. Enhancing their flower-like look even farther.

At first you are consumed by inspecting every detail - the way the metal cups the stones to like a tree does flowers. Causing a petal ilusion to grow even more realistic… You don’t even notice when he goes down on one knee before you until he puts his hand on your thigh.

You look at him. Your eyes wide in shock.

He has never been a man of words and some might say that his proposal ‘speech’ wasn’t romantic… But for you it was more than just perfect.

“Marry me, (Y/N).”

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Seeing you calm. Seeing you happy.

Knowing that you don’t have to worry about another day, because he’s been working hard his whole life to provide for you.

#mlqc victor #mlqc #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc fanfic #mr love victor #mr love queen's choice #mlqc fluff

125 notes · View notes

mirohlixie · 3 years

Text

Never Enough (Hyunlix) Pt. 3

Pairing: Felix x Hyunjin Word Count: 2.5K Genre: AU, love, dystopia

Synopsis: In a world where being different from the conventional gender and sexuality rules means death, the gay youngster Felix struggles to hide his true sexuality. He is doing well until he meets Hyunjin, an undercover hitman hired by the government to get rid of all the "different" people in hiding. The moment the two meet each other, both of their lives change forever, but will it be enough?

Content warnings: AU, homophobia, discrimination against LGBTQ+, explicit language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days were filled with texts exchanged between the two. Felix smiled every time his phone lit up with a new message. It was the only thing happening in his life right now and somehow he’d immediately felt comfortable texting Hyunjin. They didn’t talk about much, just simple things in life. It wasn’t a bad thing, though. They felt more comfortable keeping things light for now, and it worked.

Slowly but surely the weather outside had started to get better too and instead of the usual rain and wind, there was now sun. It improved Felix’s mood instantly and he felt much better than he had the days before. He wasn’t sure whether it was just the weather that had improved his mood so much, or if his new friendship with Hyunjin had played a big part as well. Either way, it had been a welcome change.

His phone made a beeping noise again and he lifted it, looking at the screen. It was another text from Hyunjin. He excitedly unlocked his screen and read what the boy with the soft facial features had sent him.

“The weather is so much better. My mood is so much better than before,” the text read. Felix smiled and immediately started typing. It was as if Hyunjin had read his mind earlier.

“It is! Makes me want to go outside again,” he replied. Somewhere deep inside his soul, he was hoping that Hyunjin would get the hint; he wanted to see him again. Maybe go on a walk again, or hang out. He’d gotten so much pleasure out of texting him that he couldn’t wait to actually talk to him again or to see him again for that matter.

“Do you maybe want to call?” Hyunjin suddenly sent him. “It’s easier and my thumbs are getting tired,” Felix quickly replied with an affirmative text and waited nervously for his phone to start ringing. Usually, he preferred calling over texting anyway, but he’d never been this nervous for a phone call before. Not much later it finally appeared: an incoming call from Hwang Hyunjin.

“Hello,” he said, his voice wavering a bit as he answered the call.

“Hi,” Hyunjin replied, his voice sounding a little unsteady as well. “How are you, Felix?”

“Still good,” Felix giggled quietly. “Just like when you asked me an hour ago,” he heard Hyunjin chuckle quietly, a lovely sound he hadn’t heard in a while.

“Fair enough,” he answered. “I wanted to hear your voice again,” Felix was taken back a bit by this, but he felt himself smile widely as a blush formed on his cheeks. He enjoyed the fact that Hyunjin had apparently been wanting to talk to him as much as he had wanted to talk to Hyunjin. “Not in a weird way or anything,” the boy quickly added.

“It’s okay,” Felix answered quickly. “I wanted to hear your voice again too,” he bit his lip. It was hideous that talking to this one person could make him feel so many things at the same time. He didn’t think he’d ever felt this way in his entire life, so it was new and a little bit scary. He wasn’t sure how to act upon these feelings, so he just tried to stay as calm as he possibly could be.

After a little bit of talking, there was a soft knock on the door. Felix looked up in shock and whispered to Hyunjin to stay put before answering with a “come in”. His mother opened the door slightly and stuck her head around the corner.

“Who are you talking to?” She asked her son, wonder clear in her eyes. Felix blushed slightly and cursed himself for having that reaction. “Nobody,” he squeaked. “Just a friend.”

“Do I know them?” His mother asked.

“No, mom. You don’t know him,” Felix wanted to hit himself for giving away that it had been a guy. He could’ve lied to prevent more questions so easily, but his mouth had moved before his thoughts had processed.

“It’s a boy?” Her eyes grew wide. “Remember to be careful, Felix. We don’t want anything to even suspect that you are interested in that way, whether you are or not. Just a hunch can already be enough to make them think you’re one of them,” the disgust in her voice made Felix’s mood drop. His mom was really that against the thought of him being a mole, huh? Wow.

“Yeah, mom,” he muttered. “We are just friends, don’t worry. I’m not one of them.”

“Good, I’ll leave you two to it then,” she said. “Maybe you can ask him over for a cup of tea, could be nice,” and with that she left, closing the door behind her. Felix looked at his feet for a bit before holding the phone against his ear again.

“How much of that did you hear?” He asked Hyunjin, who’d been quiet all this time. He wasn’t even sure if the boy would still be on the phone.

“All of it,” Hyunjin admitted. “I- um… I’m sorry Felix. I know you said you’re not one of them but still…” Felix wasn’t sure whether this sentiment was real or not, but he took it the way he’d appreciate the most.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled. “I’m not one of them anyway, so what does it matter?” It stayed quiet for a little bit. Both of them didn’t know what to say, so said nothing instead. After a while Felix spoke up again, deciding to make the best out of it.

“You wanna come over, though?” He hesitantly asked. “For tea, or to hang out?” He really wanted to see the boy on the other side of the call again, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted that too.

“Sure,” Hyunjin said after hesitating for a bit. “Yeah, I’d love to, Felix,” Felix smiled a little, finding that small bit of happiness again as they decided Hyunjin would come over for tea the next day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~It had been the best way to get to his house, Hyunjin had decided when Felix had asked him to come over. He hadn’t wanted to invite himself, but if he wanted enough grounds for this task of his, there was a chance he needed to see Felix’s house and bedroom.

He knew it was messed up, but he needed to stay focused. Even though he had thoroughly enjoyed his time texting and calling Felix, he couldn’t forget the reason why he was doing all this; he needed to save his mother.

He’d been so hesitant to say yes when Felix asked, but there were so many reasons he just couldn’t say no. Surprisingly, the first one had been that he didn’t want to let the cute boy down. He had been so sweet to him and had definitely formed a little light in his life right now. He needed that more than he would ever admit.

On the other hand, this was dumb. Why was he growing so attached to the boy, knowing he would have to end his life sooner or later? How would he ever be able to say goodbye after connecting more and more to the 5’7 blond boy who had captured his interest? He needed to push those thoughts away and stay focused on his plan, it was the only way he’d be able to go through with it.

So here he was, on his way to the house he’d seen once before, when he dropped Felix off when they’d met. He was nervous; he didn’t want to give his motives away, and he also didn’t really know what to expect of this afternoon. The text conversations and the phone call yesterday had been surprisingly pleasant, so it should be fine. Still, he felt a little uneasy. The kind of feeling that came with being in a new place for the first time which every shy kid must’ve had at some point in their lives.

As he walked up the porch he gathered all his courage and rang the bell, patiently waiting for someone to open the door for him. He hoped it was Felix and not one of his parents or siblings. That would be a little awkward.

As Hyunjin was pondering all the options, the door opened and a friendly face with freckles, glowing like the sun on a hot summer day, appeared in front of him. A small smile grew on his face when he saw his new friend smiling at him as if he was Santa Claus himself.

“Hi,” Felix greeted him. “It’s so nice to see you,” Hyunjin’s smile grew bigger as he took a deep breath.

“It’s nice to see you too, Felix,” he said. “Your house looks even better in the sun,” Felix quietly giggled to this and stepped inside, beckoning for Hyunjin to follow him. The latter obeyed and followed the fairy-like boy into the nice hallway of his childhood home.

When he walked in, he immediately felt the welcoming atmosphere that hung in the house, completely different from what his own home felt like with his sick mother. It was so strange to think that inside this home something illegal was happening.

“You should probably meet my parents first,” Felix said quietly, leading his friend into the living room. When they entered, Hyunjin saw two people sitting on the couch, both in their own little bubble. A woman, presumably Felix’s mother, looked up from her knitting and smiled.

“Hello,” she said. “You must be Felix’s new friend,” Hyunjin nodded and walked over to shake her outstretched hand. He smiled politely before answering her question.

“Yeah, my name is Hwang Hyunjin,” he said. “But you can call me Hyunjin miss,” the woman smiled back at him.

“Hi Hyunjin, I’m Felix’s mother, and that’s his father,” the man looked up from his newspaper and shook Hyunjin’s hand as well.

They talked for a little bit as Felix and Hyunjin sat down on the couch opposite the couple. The young boy was clearly nervous because Hyunjin knew something about him he’d never told his parents. He didn’t have to worry, though. He would never tell them a thing. Mostly because he didn’t want to ruin his mission, but also because he would never be able to do such a thing to the cheerful boy.

Felix’s mother seemed happy to finally see him bring someone home. He was probably not the kind to bring home friends every single day, much like Hyunjin himself. He’d always been quite the loner. Mostly because he’d always been focused on his family more than others, which could get really lonely. Luckily I found Felix, he thought to himself before realizing how dumb that thought was. It was messed up. He was sick in the head. How could he think that about his literal target? He was literally out to kill him and he was talking about being grateful for having him as a friend? Wow.

“Shall we go up? I wanna show you my room,” Felix said, hopping up form the couch. How was he always so cheerful? He resembled a child who’d just heard he was gonna cuddle some baby bunnies, but that all the time. It was adorable.

“Sure,” Hyunjin agreed, glancing at Felix’s parents who shot the two of them a suspicious look. He smiled innocently, not wanting them to think anything of it. Somehow he was very concerned with protecting Felix, which made it even more messed up. He was the threat. Hyunjin was, not his parents.

Felix led the two of them upstairs and opened the door to his room. It was very fitting, everything he’d expected; the room of a closeted gay boy who had a love for music, which he’d told him before.

He had a guitar in the corner with some notebooks next to it, probably filled with song lyrics. His bed stood against the wall and had a fluffy throw over it. The colours on the walls were all pastel shades, much like the rest of the furniture and accessories. Everything about the room screamed Felix and it made Hyunjin smile to himself. If his parents had known better, they’d known the real Felix. The one that hid in the oversized hoodies, behind his notebooks.

“Your room is really nice,” Hyunjin said, sitting down on the bed as Felix closed the door. The boy blushed a little.

“Thank you, I decorated it myself,” he said.

“Thought you did,” the older boy trailed his hand over the fluffy throw he was now sitting on. It was really soft, so his instinct told him to lie back on the bed, which he did. Kind of ironic if you think about it; the lady from the hitman service told him to follow his instincts and here he was lying on a fluffy blanket. Not what she meant, he reckoned.

“Wanna play something for me?” Hyunjin pointed at the guitar in the corner. He felt guilty because he wasn’t the most talkative person at times and he didn’t want it to become awkward.

Felix hesitantly looked at the instrument and then at his feet.

“I don’t know…”

“Please? For me?” Hyunjin showed Felix his puppy dog eyes and curled his lip into a pout. Felix giggled quietly.

“I’m not that good, though,” he warned.

“I’m sure you’re great,” Hyunjin promised him before looking up at the ceiling again. “I can’t imagine you not being amazing,” he didn’t look at Felix, but he could almost feel the boy’s blush right now. He heard some shuffling and not much later there was movement on the bed; Felix had sat down with the guitar in his lap.

He cleared his throat, biting his lip briefly before strumming the strings and producing some chords. Hyunjin closed his eyes, waiting for what was coming. He’d expected the boy to just play a song, but suddenly a low, but beautiful voice filled the room.

Hyunjin’s eyes shot open and he tilted his head towards Felix, watching admiringly as he sang a song he’d probably written himself. He’d never expected this voice out of this angelic boy and yet it was happening. It was low but smooth. He couldn’t get enough.

For a brief moment, Felix’s eyes darted towards him and met his gaze. Something sparked deep inside Hyunjin as he locked stares with the singing boy. The latter’s cheeks flushed pink immediately and he focused on his guitar again, hints of embarrassment hiding in his eyes. Hyunjin bit his tongue, averting his gaze as well. It was dumb how just one glance from those Bambi brown eyes could light a spark deep inside his soul. It was a sensation he’d never had before, and most certainly did not expect to be awakened by a boy like Felix. However, it happened and Hyunjin didn’t know how to deal with it, so he stayed quiet.

As Felix kept playing, his voice calming and soothing, Hyunjin closed his eyes again. For a moment, he forgot about everything. He forgot about his task, about the reason he was here in the first place. He forgot about his mother and her dire condition. He forgot about the world, about everything surrounding him. At that moment, there was only one thing, and that one thing was Felix.

45 notes · View notes

solarianvoidthearoace · 3 years

Text

Excerpt#3 from my JonGerry AU WiP

CN/TW: smoking mention, disclosure of finances, discussion of sleep-overs, relationship negotiations, explanation of heteronormativity and amatonormativity, gender coming-out (sort of?), fond insults/banter

Still, Gerry cringed a bit,

“I suppose I have to apologise for not telling you…?”, he winced,

“I mean you couldn’t have known and… looking back it does feel like sort of misleading you, I mean all you knew was that I work two jobs.” They buried his face into Jon’s chest. Instead of commenting, he simply patted their hair, holding Gerry close and letting him be dramatic for a minute.

“Well, that does explain your insistence to pay whenever we are out together”, Martin spoke up after a minute,

“I noticed you even occasionally snatched the bill when Jon or I mentioned inviting us others.” Gerry slowly looked up,

“Well, yes. I can’t imagine you floating in money. I grew up working in a bookshop after all and it only really build a financial buffer after I sold it all to collectors. And Jon mentioned his overtime going unpaid more often than not. Plus it’s just nice to know I can do that for you without having to make cuts on anything. Only thing I really want to cut on is smoking, but that’s an intervention for another day, yea?” They gave Jon a gentle squeeze around the waist. He was still reluctant to let them go but did move onto the armrest of the armchair instead.

Despite Gerry’s reluctance, the three of them did talk a bit more about his finances, something he had glossed over when clueing Jon in about his art career. After some more reassurances that they won’t see Gerry in a different light, they let the evening end. Seeing Martin off at Gerry’s doorstep was weird, in Jon’s opinion. But turning around and knowing he was with Gerry to stay had him almost glowing.

“Home is where the heart is”, Gerry smiled, gently cupping Jon’s chin,

“Seems like I finally get both in one place.” Blushing, Jon looked down,

“It’s not like…”, he suddenly thought better of it, biting his lip. A gentle brush of Gerry’s thumb against his bottom lip, light nudging of their fingers under his chin, had him look up again.

“Not like what, doll?” He relented with a sigh, his exhale ghosting over Gerry’s hand,

“It’s not like I never called you my home before.” A warm shiver ran down Gerry’s spine, making them wrap their free arm around Jon and pulling him in. Instead of a kiss, which would have been so easy with the way they still held his chin up, Gerry rested their foreheads together,

“Welcome Home, then.”

Gerry had been right, though. With Jon no longer having an apartment of his own, Martin spend the occasional afternoon at their now shared flat. He didn’t really mind, they weren’t exactly friends with Martin themself but the man was nice to spend time with, even shy as he still was around them.

Besides, due to Gerry’s admittedly haphazard working hours without any structure or obvious sense to them - something Jon had called him out on multiple times before moving in - he always had an excuse to leave Martin and Jon in favour of working on his art.

Which was the thing responsible for his discombobulated working and waking hours, mostly. Gerry could admit to themself, that the secondary job at the bar was mostly to keep a somewhat steady life rhythm while adhering to his own night owl inclinations.

Between Jon’s nine-to-five, the overtime he often threw in on top, and neither of them needing to cling together every hour of their free time, it was nice. Maybe a bit more companionable than what other people would consider a romantic relationship, but they always had been liberal and somewhat alternative when it came to their life choices.

Which all is rather winded to say Gerry didn’t care that Martin picked Jon up on a Saturday morning. It was Martin who seemed bothered by it.

“And it‘s really okay with you if Jon stays with me from time to time?”, he was still wringing his hands over it. Gerry shrugged, leaning back against the kitchen counter and crossing his arms,

“Why shouldn’t it be? I’m the one he moved in with. Besides, it’s not like I ever was the type for heteronormative or amatonormative relationships in the first place.”

Martin’s brow furrowed, looking around in thought before his expression turned somewhat helpless,

“So, I know what heteronormative means, supposing every relationship ever has to imitate a hetero one with one partner needing to be feminine and the other masculine, clean-cut roles and divide into approximating that 40’s cliche of the obedient stay-at-home-wife.” He shuddered at the thought,

“But what’s amatonormative?“

Gerry pulled a face, lifting one hand to rub at his chin, elbow still resting where they had crossed his arms,

“Uh, m’kay, so…” He gestured, pulling a face in contemplation,

“It’s something asexual and aromantic people struggle most with, but basically it impacts anyone and everyone. It’s pretty much the belief that everyone needs exactly one monogamous romantic-sexual partnership as the end goal for their private life to count as fulfilled. So it does hurt anyone who doesn’t want to partner up for whatever reasons, as well.” They shrugged halfheartedly, waving his hands around a bit, before facepalming,

“Ugh, Jon is better explaining this, throwing in words like „sole focal point“ and „emotional hierarchy” and shit. Like, how it interplays with other relationships any one person has, society expecting them to prioritise their romantic partner with whom they obviously have to be sexually active, because society sucks.” They gave an exasperated eye-roll, huffing at the thought, before focusing back on Martin.

The man nodded slowly,

“I think I get it. So it also hurts anyone non-partnering, like you said, but also everyone non-monogamous, regardless whether the person is a-spec or allo. Huh, I have been participating in open or otherwise non-monogamous relationships for years and didn’t know we had that much in common with… I suppose primarily aromantic people.” He hummed a sort of affirmative noise, before blinking.

“It’s weird how many things impact a broad variety of people. Oh, that reminds me, how do you feel about gendered terms? I know I should have asked way sooner, but it honestly slipped my mind, I kind of just stuck with what Jon used for you. Like, which are okay?“ Standing more relaxed than earlier, their hands propped on the edge of the counter on either side of his hips, Gerry tilted his head. Some more of their hair spilling over that shoulder,

“I did already tell you I’m genderqueer, not a man and also not exactly trans-feminine. So as for how to refer to me, anything that’s fun”, they smirked, stroking the curtain of his hair back.

“I mostly go by what’s considered male terms, though. But among friends, as sparse as they are, I’d actually prefer everyone made an effort to remember I go by he/him as well as they/them pronouns. Even if I don’t exactly present that way, it is defining to me that I’m not actually a man. As opposed to you or Jon, who just doesn’t stick to gender connotations”, he couldn’t help his snort,

“Because where’s the fun in that anyway?”

Martin suddenly had a teasing glint in his eyes,

“So you’re Jon’s joyfriend?”, he smirked. Gerry raised a brow, fighting to hold back his own grin,

“Please, I’m always a joy to be around.” As he grinned back at Martin, there was a huff from the doorway,

“A significant bother is what you are”, Jon managed to get out halfway believably before softly smiling himself. Gerry’s expression changed, his eyebrow slowly raising while they gave Jon a sceptical once-over,

“Says the guy purposefully calling me Jared just to annoy me.” He scoffed, albeit smiling fondly,

“Love you too, Jon.“

“In my defense, I didn’t know of your name change then! I was just teasing because you were being a twerp.” The two of them were broken out of their bickering, before they really got going, when Martin let out a giddy squeal,

“You’re adorable!” After a short pause, Gerry faked an exasperated huff,

“There you go again, dipshit, ruining my reputation.” He had barely finished before he doubled over in giggles, which had Jon snicker as well. Calming down, they exchanged a fond look. The silence in the kitchen stretched, before Gerry pushed themself off the counter,

“Alright”, he gestured at shooing the other two out of the kitchen,

“Get going. I was promised a quiet Saturday. Take care, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, don’t don’t anything stupid, either, and remember your bedtime. Now shoo!”

It still wasn’t often that Jon spend the night at Martin’s, but occasionally Gerry had his bed all to themself for one night at a time again. But somehow word about Jon’s changed living situation got out. Which in turn lead to his colleagues asking about the “new guy” he had moved in with while still dating their common former colleague Martin. It took Gerry some days to figure out the leak but that didn’t exactly make it better.

Sasha, Gertrude’s assistant and second-in-command, had caught onto someone having moved in with Gerry, connecting the dots with their recently resurfaced boyfriend. In turn, Sasha happened to know a snitch by the name Timothy Stoker, who decided to spike the gossip at Jon’s work with this new knowledge. Gerry finally resigned himself to having to plan a small house warming party, when Daisy, his barkeeper colleague, asked about it.

It was quite frankly beyond them, how everyone from his and Jon’s social circles seamed to know one another all of a sudden. In hopes of at least inconveniencing some people, he talked to Jon about picking a date for the party at random.

Didn’t work out. Miraculously everyone had time, a ride, and was up to snoop into their respective acquaintance’s or colleague’s private living situation.

10 notes · View notes

one-boring-person · 4 years

Text

Just A Babysitter. (Part One)

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: alcohol use

Context: (Y/n) lives/is close friends with the boys, and will do almost anything for them as she sees them as a family. However, since Star and Laddie joined the coven, she's felt a little distanced from them. (I say that the reader is female, but I'm pretty sure there is no explicit reference to gender that isn't easily overlooked, so it can apply to other readers, too.)

A/N: This started as a oneshot, but has now become a story of sorts, so I'll post it in parts. :))

Part Two , Part Three , Part Four , Part Five , Part Six , Part Seven , Part Eight

Irritation courses through me as Star drags me into the crowd of writhing bodies, the half-vampire laughing happily to both herself and Laddie, who is being pulled around by the hand, wincing when some greasy rocker tries to come closer to me even after only being there for two seconds, my elbow landing a hefty thump into his abdomen in order to get rid of him. The music is loud in my ears, though it isn't unpleasant at all, the heavy saxophone-laced rhythm lightening my mood a little as I start to move in time with it, keeping an eye on my two wards, especially Laddie, who has a tendency to run off. For a few minutes, we continue to enjoy the music before I feel her tense up beside me, someone having caught her rapt attention.

Looking over, I follow her line of sight to a brunette I don't recognise, the guy staring at her without abandon, even when who I presume to be his younger brother slaps his cheek. Instantly, I get a bad feeling about him, not trusting the way he eyes the girl beside me, no matter how endearing she may find it. I have the feeling she will try to lure him away from the crowd and make him her first kill; my hunch only confirmed when she passes Laddie off onto me and ducks out of the throng of dancers, leaving me to pick up her pieces again. Growling to myself, I swiftly lift the youngster onto my shoulders, putting on a false grin when he squeals in excitement, giving him some excuse about finding him some sweets back on the Boardwalk to get him to come willingly.

"Where'd Star go?" Laddie questions me, voice barely audible over the throbbing music.

"I don't know. Wanna go find her?" I respond, squeezing his legs gently when he assents, holding onto my head so he can steady himself. Ignoring the gradually building ache in my back, I follow the direction Star walked off into, giving the boy on my shoulders the strict instructions to keep an eye out for the half-vampire, offering him a chocolate bar as a reward.

Carefully, we make our way onto the Boardwalk, avoiding some of the more rowdy surfers and party-goers, my focus set on finding Star amongst the people lining the roads. It doesn't take me long, though I let Laddie point her out to me, allowing him the small burst of pride that likely accompanies the achievement, no matter how small it is. Heading over to her, I reach into my pocket and pass the boy the chocolate bar I always keep on me, smiling when he giggles in satisfaction, the sound of the wrapper being torn open quickly coming from above me.

"Hey Star. Find what you were looking for?" I greet, giving her a suggestive look when she acknowledges me, though it is obvious that she is still distracted.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I did." She replies, turning to walk away again, silently demanding that I follow her, knowing I can't disobey David's strict rules from before.

"Look! There's Dwayne and David! And Marko and Paul!" Laddie points out after a few minutes of navigating the heaving crowd, gesturing to the right to show us where he means, waving at the coven of vampires as we turn to approach them, my shoulders screaming for relief. Moments later, we break through the people blocking our view of them, greeting the laid-back vampires accordingly.

"Having fun?" Paul questions me in particular, knowing full well I hate having to watch over the irritating half-vampire, his voice teasing as he sends me a pointed look.

"Oh, tonnes." I respond dryly, letting Laddie down as Star climbs onto David's bike with him, wrapping her arms around his waist and looking at me with a small smirk on her face, the gesture inciting a pang of jealousy within me, before she glances off to the side, David following her gaze. Doing the same, I suppress the urge to roll my eyes as I recognise the brunette from earlier, instead focusing on helping Laddie onto Dwayne's motorbike, telling him to hold on tight. In response to this, Laddie smiles at me, Dwayne doing the same as he kicks his bike into gear, thankful that I did the job none of them wanted to do.

"Lets go, boys." David announces, looking at me expectantly, even though the term "boys" does not (necessarily) apply to me.

"I'll catch up." I mutter, before turning away and disappearing into the crowd, aiming for the bar at the edge of the Boardwalk, sighing as I hear the tell tale roaring of the motorcycle engines retreating over the cheerful music lingering in the air.

On my own, I manage to cut a path through the mass of people with decent success, quickly reaching my destination without any difficulty. Pushing open the door, I enter the dusky bar and head over to the counter, signalling for the bartender to take my order. By now, they all know my usual and will just prepare it for me without me having to ask, the tumbler of whiskey swiftly appearing before me, though I stop the blonde girl from leaving as she turns away.

"Leave the bottle, please." I request, pulling out enough money to pay for it from my jacket pocket, handing it to her in exchange for the large bottle of strong whiskey she places on the counter. Thanking her, I swill the liquid in my glass around for a few seconds, taking a drink when I'm satisfied with it, relishing in the burn that accompanies the flow of alcohol down my throat - none of them question my age anymore, not after the boys had a word with them.

I repeat this motion until the glass is empty, choosing to focus on that rather than the reality I face when I get home, back to the boys and their new half-vampire "friends". It shouldn't bother me, I know they all care for me and do their best to show me this, but something about Star and Laddie's sudden entrance to our way of life seems to make them forget this, most of my old friends' attention now lingering on them, rather than on me, like it used to. A bitter chuckle leaves me inadvertently as I think this, mentally calling myself selfish and pushing that last part down into the depths of my mind, knowing that I've had my fair share of attention from them in the past four or five years. I slam the glass on the table as the last of the amber liquid runs down my throat, shaking my head to snap myself out of my thoughts before heaving myself to my feet and walking out, taking the bottle of whiskey with me.

Upon leaving, I swiftly find my bike on the near-deserted Boardwalk, climbing onto it, only to take a moment to take a drink from the bottle in my hand, wincing as the strong alcohol burns its way down into my stomach. As I lower it, I notice a familiar brunette walking over to me, a curious expression on his face as he watches mine become one of confusion; it's not often that an interest of Star's wants to speak with me.

"Hey, can I help you?" I greet him as he finally arrives, looking him up and down a little to gauge his motive for approaching me.

"Err, yeah, I was just wondering where your friend is." The guy explains to me, frowning when I forget to disguise my eyeroll.

"Star? She isn't my friend." I correct him, not too willing to go into specifics with him.

"Star, huh? Nice name." He murmurs, almost to himself as if I'm not right there.

"If you like that kinda thing." I shrug dismissively, taking another drink from the bottle before offering it to him, giving him a small smirk when he accepts.

"Thanks," He says, returning the bottle to me as he continues, "You two aren't friends? You seemed pretty close earlier. You, her and those weird guys."

"Weird guys? Don't say that to their faces." I chuckle, grinning widely at him as he laughs in response, "I'm not close with Star, but the guys are my family, so I guess we're pretty close."

"Family? Like brothers or something?"

"Family in the non-biological sense of the word. They helped me through some tough times." I affirm, once again trying to avoid telling him the truth.

"Right. Well, do you know where they went?" The brunette questions me again, giving me another hopeful look.

"No, they never tell me anything anymore." I reply bitterly, even if the words are only half true, drinking again despite having to drive in a few minutes. What's life without a little risk, eh?

"I thought you said they were like your family?" He frowns at me again, believing that I'm holding something from him, which is entirely true.

"Yeah, but not even a family is completely truthful with one another." I remind him, deciding a stronger warning is needed, "Take it from me, of all the people you can hang with in this town, they should not be your first choice."

Yet more confusion etches itself onto his face at my words, going to say something before I cut him off.

"What's your name, by the way? I can pass it on to Star if I see her again tonight." I promise, though it is likely they will see each other again tomorrow, so there's not much point on my behalf.

"Oh, I'm Michael, or Mike for short." He informs me, smiling again as I reach out to shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Mike. I'm (Y/n)."

"Nice talking to you, (Y/n). Thanks for the advice."

"No problem." I laugh, looking at my watch briefly as I try to figure out the time, "Damn, I'd better get going, or the boys'll have my ass for breakfast."

Amused by my "figure of speech", Michael quickly says his goodbyes as I kick the bike into life, relishing in the feeling of the engine purring beneath me. Stashing the bottle in the compartment under the seat, I rev the motorcycle a little before applying he throttle, a delirious whoop of exhilaration escaping me as I charge off the Boardwalk and onto the most direct road to Hudson's Bluff, ignoring the angry protests of the civilians around me, concentrating on getting myself home instead.

Part Two

#david(thelostboys)#joel schumacher #the lost boys #vampire #paul(the lost boys)#dwayne(the lost boys)#marko(the lost boys)#kiefer sutherland #star(the lost boys)#laddie(the lost boys)

131 notes · View notes

soprano193 · 4 years

Text

Not a Couple

Chapter 4

Constance:

"Maura, no!" Her cry made her seven-year-old jump, her hand rapidly retreating from the still hot curling iron that rested on the bathroom counter. "What are you thinking? Do you want to hurt yourself?"

Maura's eyes welled up, her hands knotted in front of her stomach. "I wanted my hair to look like yours." Her head fell, her eyes looking at the floor. It made Constance's heart break.

Walking forward, she attempted to soften her tone, plugging in the curling iron and tapping her child on the shoulder. "Next time, just ask for help." It was more blunt than she meant, but in the long run, was a lesson Maura needed to learn. "I would be happy to help you curl your hair like mine." The iron on a low heat setting, she wrapped a section of honey blonde hair around the barrel. Maura's hair curled easier than hers, so it didn't take long for her to have loose ringlets bouncing on her shoulders. Maura was quiet the entire time Constance fiddled with her hair, her hands tapping a rhythm on the sides of her legs. When Constance was satisfied, she turned Maura towards her, twirling the last ringlet around her finger. "All done. Now go pick out a dress."

Maura's hands came up to touch the navy blue strap of her mother's dress. "Is this what you're wearing?"

"Yes. Now go pick out your dress, we don't have much time." This spurred the young girl into action, and she dashed from the bathroom, her feet hitting the floor with a heavy thud as she ran down the hall.

As Maura frantically dressed, Constance switched over her purse and spoke on the phone with the gallery director, apologizing for the need to bring her daughter. "She is very well behaved, you won't even notice she is there." The woman on the other end seemed annoyed, but consented to the added person. As if Constance had any control over the nanny falling ill, or her husband's busy schedule. She yelled down the hall for her daughter one last time. "Maura! We need to leave, now!"

"Coming, Mother!" After a few moments, the young girl appeared in a navy blue dress of her own, and little pink heels. Her dress had short sleeves, and buttons down the front, but the color matched Constance's almost exactly.

"Maura, dear, what happened to your black shoes?"

The you girl's shoulders dropped and she shuffled her feet. "They don't fit. I know I don't match." It was futile to ask her to put on a pink dress instead. She wanted to match her mother, not her shoes, and they were running late.

Constance let out a sigh, but beckoned her daughter to come closer. "Regardless, we don't have time for you to change. Come along." Her daughter grinned, and clomped along behind her, reaching a hand out to walk with her mother.

Art installations always put Constance out of her mind. There was a lot going on, many people to talk to, pieces to sell, and she always seemed to lose track of time. Thankfully, Maura managed to stay close, always within reach, yet silent for the most part. She had always been a shy child, and large groups of strangers could make her anxious. So she stayed close to the one person she knew, and focused on the art pieces she could see.

When the event started to die down, Constance placed her hands on Maura's shoulders and looked up at the piece she was admiring. It almost reached the ceiling, with splatters of red, green, and orange prominently featured. "What do you think of this one, dear?"

The girl leaned back into her mother. "I like it."

"Why?"

There was a moment of silence before she answered. "The colors. They make me happy."

Before Constance could answer, someone walked behind them and tapped her on the shoulder. "Can I get a photo for the newspaper?"

Both of them turned, Constance nodding in the affirmative before walking towards better lighting. "Of course. Maura, stand right there for a moment, dear."

The photographer flashed a soft smile and addressed the girl, who tried her best to put on a brave face as she stood alone. "Hi, sweetie. Do you want to be in the picture with your Mom?" Maura nodded, but waited for her mother to hold out her hands. Constance knelt down and put her arm around Maura's back, careful not to crush her curls. "Beautiful!" The photographer gushed as she sapped a few photos. "Beautiful like your Mama."

"You think I look like her?" The seven year old beamed, turning to face her mother with excitement.

"Absolutely. You even dressed alike." The photographer grinned as she lowered her camera. "I used to dress like my Mom, too." She turned her attention to Constance. "I can get one of just you, if you'd like."

"I think what you have will do. Thank you." She rubbed her hand in circles on Maura's back, who was still beaming from the photographer's compliment.

"She said I look like you, Mom." Her body thrummed with energy. She didn't hear it too often. Most often they guessed that Maura must take after her father, when in reality, she didn't look like him either.

Constance twirled a loosening ringlet around her fingers, meeting Maura's eyes with pride. "She did." She took her daughter's hand in hers. "It's time to head home."

"You aren't usually the type for nostalgia, Connie." Her husband's voice pulled her out of her thoughts, the newspaper clipping of her and a young Maura dropping back into the box. He sat at the table next to her, picking up a picture at random. "I don't remember this one." He passed it over to her, looking for an explanation. Here, Maura was around four, a handful of weeds in her hands, the strap of her yellow dress falling off her shoulder.

"I don't remember this one, either." It pained her to admit it, but she didn't remember a lot of the photos that were currently spread on their dining room table. "I think that the Nanny might have taken this." She moved the photo to the left and picked up another. Maura with bulky safety glasses on, her Halloween costume when she was nine. She laughed as she passed it to Arthur, making a note to put it aside.

"I don't remember this either." His voice was quiet as he sat it down.

"You aren't the only one that missed her life, Arthur." She picked up another unrecognizable picture, with a two-year-old Maura dancing toward the camera. "But we can be there for her now." She reached for that picture with the safety goggles, placing it in a small pile with similar photos.

"So what brought all this on?" Arthur had started gathering piles of photos, leaning back in the dining room chair as he looked at each one.

"Maura's friend, Jane, sent me an email. She needs pictures of Maura as a child, with a preference for 'especially geeky and sciency pictures, please'. I think she said something about a slideshow for a party." Jane was a frequent subject as she worked on reconnecting with her daughter. Maura was always describing some new joke Jane told, or filling her in on the latest Jane gossip. It was clear the woman was a big part of their daughter's life. "You would like Jane, I think. She's very direct, a straight shooter, but very protective and understanding of Maura. They're a good fit." She grabbed her husband's hand, shot him a knowing glance, and pulled the photo of Maura with a ribbon from the science fair off the top of his pile.

It seemed to take a moment for Arthur to get it, but when he did, his eyes widened and he lowered his pile of pictures. "Wait. You don't think…"

"I do."

His brows furrowed as he processed the information. "But she never showed any indication that she might be interested in females."

Constance let out a breath as she picked up her own pile. "I'm not sure that's true." At his puzzled expression, she continued. "Do you remember when Maura came home for her first Thanksgiving break? We were all sitting for dinner, and Maura was going on and on about Biology." She could picture it perfectly, Arthur at the head of the table with a journal open as they ate, while she tried to dab at a cranberry stain on the front of her shirt. Maura was looking in Arthur's direction as she spoke. "She was rattling off facts about all the species they had seen homosexual relationships in. Mammals, birds, fish, she had an example for just about everything. And I made a mistake." Arthur raised his eyebrows, his pile lowering completely as he gave her his full attention. "I asked her what she was trying to tell us. And it came out so harsh, I think she thought we wouldn't approve." Maura protected herself the only way she knew how. She shut down the topic, moving to something else, refusing to be swayed. "I have found out from a source that Maura experimented in college, and she may not have hated it."

"Is that source Jane?"

This made Constance chuckle. "No, Jane doesn't tell me anything Maura doesn't want me to know. Jane's mother told me."

"Wait, how does Jane's mother fit into all of this?"

Constance put her pile of photos down, focusing on her husband. "Angela lives with Maura. They have a good relationship." A relationship she was envious of. But she was trying to do better. "Every time I see her, I try to drop hints about how open-minded I can be, but she isn't picking up on them."

This had Arthur laughing, his baritone bouncing off the walls. "You can't drop hints with Maura, Connie. You have to ask her directly."

"Well how do you suggest I do that? 'Angela told me about your ex-girlfriend, Sam, and now I want to talk with you about her?'"

"Sam?" He stopped laughing, eyes wide, and grabbed her hand. "She talked about Sam, I remember that."

"She talked about Sam in very gender neutral terms. And then stopped, probably whenever they broke up."

They both took some time to take it all in. Constance started putting the photos she wasn't sending Jane back into the box. Arthur's voice made her pause. "Has she dated other women since then? I feel like I've heard about a few guys."

"I don't know."

Arthur started adding photos to the box, looking at a few of them along the way. "What makes you think she is interested in Jane that way?"

She took her time to answer, thinking about what she had noticed as they worked toward rebuilding their relationship. "Well, she trusts Jane completely. And they understand each other. Both drop everything for each other, Maura even cancelled a night out with me because Jane needed her. And you know what I learned from that Thanksgiving night all those years ago?"

"I think you'll tell me."

"I learned how to listen to Maura. Really listen. To watch her face when she talks, to figure out the meaning behind her words. And I'm telling you, she has deep feelings for Jane."

Her husband was silent, holding onto the last picture, his eyes fixated on the young woman speaking at her high school graduation. "So what's the next step?"

"Keep up with her, regain her trust. I hope one day she can talk to me the same way she can talk to Angela, or Jane." Arthur regarded her answer with a nod of his head. He rose from the table and walked toward the front door. "Where are you going?"

He returned a half minute later with his briefcase, and pulled his phone out of the side pocket. "I'm going to reach out. I want to be around when she tells you."

Maura didn't answer. She hadn't spoken to Arthur in years, and never wanted to talk to Constance about it. But he was making an effort, as was she. It gave her some hope that their relationship would mend along the way.

#rizzoli and isles #rizzles #rizzles fanfic #my fic #not a couple #I'm super late posting these chapters wow

13 notes · View notes

malnatihq · 4 years

Photo

🌈 — MASTERLIST OF HELPFUL RESOURCES !!

as stated before, we hope to educate employees && guests about the availability of lgbtq+ organizations && services who are there to help in times of need. as we have members of the community here at the malnati, we are grateful to have this community && these wonderful resources that are available. happy pride, beautiful people !!

as two women who are members of the lgbtq+ community, we wanted to personally give you guys a list of resources that we thought would be beneficial for you if you’re ever in need && give allies a chance to get educated on these resources && how to become a better ally to the community. pride month is a special month && our hearts are very happy we have this time to celebrate. in real life, we understand that many festivals, events, and parades are cancelled this year so we hope that our fun group celebration will help serve as a virtual pride fest for you && your characters. we want you to know that you are all special && loved && wonderful people. we know a lot of you guys call the malnati a safe space for you, but we also want you all to know that you also make us feel safe to be who we are. you make us feel loved && cared for. we know that sometimes our online friends are the only people who know about our sexuality and/or our true gender identity. we know how important our group && ooc chat can be to people && we appreciate that you guys feel comfortable enough to share your lives with us !! thank you to those reaching out to a friend to make sure they’re okay when they post something in the serious channel, as well. with each day that you all have been part of our lives, we have only felt better about knowing you guys && the unique friendship we share. we are grateful for this community we’ve got, especially all of you in the lgbtq+ community with us. you all are so powerful && full of love. again, we wanted to shine a light on some amazing resources for you all if you’re ever in need && great organizations that do so much for the community.

hotlines && websites listed here are resources && help to prevent crises && offer help to those in need. most of these are based in the united states. if you know of any other organizations / resources, please let us know && we’ll add it here. we also highly recommend searching for resources && organizations that are local to you !! you never know what’s available to you until you look !!

blackline -- BlackLine is a 24-hour hotline geared towards the Black, Black LGBTQ+, Brown, Native and Muslim community. However, no one will be turned away from the Hotline. The purpose of the BlackLine is to provide people with an anonymous and confidential avenue to report negative, physical, and inappropriate contact with police and vigilantes. Another component of the BlackLine is to provide immediate crisis counseling to those who are upset, need to talk with someone immediately, or are in distress.

trans lifeline -- Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers. Their operators are located all over the U.S. and Canada, and are all trans-identified. If you are in crisis or just need someone to talk to, even if it’s just about whether or not you’re trans, please call them. They will do their best to support you and provide you resources.

glbt national hotline -- The LGBT National Hotline is for all ages. They provide a safe space that is anonymous and confidential where callers can speak on many different issues and concerns including, but limited to, coming out issues, gender and/or sexuality identities, relationship concerns, bullying, workplace issues, HIV/AIDS anxiety, safer sex information, suicide, and much more. The LGBT National Hotline is staffed by highly trained volunteers who identify somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum, from all ages, walks of life and from all over the United States. Along with peer support, listening and affirmation, their volunteers are supplied with the largest LGBTQ resource database in the US (www.LGBTNEARME.ORG) for those who are seeking additional support and ways to connect with their local community.

national suicide prevention lifeline -- We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.

crisis text line -- Free 24/7 support at your fingertips. Crisis Text Line is here for any crisis. A live, trained Crisis Counselor receives the text and responds, all from their secure online platform. The volunteer Crisis Counselor will help you move from a hot moment to a cool moment.

equality federation -- The movement builder and strategic partner to state-based organizations advocating for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people.

matthew shepard foundation -- Empowers individuals to embrace human dignity and diversity through outreach, advocacy and resource programs. We strive to replace hate with understanding, compassion and acceptance.

true colors united -- Works to end homelessness among lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth, creating a world in which young people can be their true selves.

sex, etc. -- On a mission to improve teen sexual health across the country. They help teens with answers to their question about sex, relationships, pregnancy, STDs, birth control, sexual orientation and more.

sage -- The nation’s largest and oldest organization dedicated to improving the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) elders.

advocate -- An LGBT-interest magazine / website. With an editorial focus on news, politics, opinion, and arts & entertainment.

human rights campaign -- The largest civil rights organization working to achieve equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans.

national lgbtq task force -- The country’s oldest national LGBTQ+ advocacy group.

national center for transgender equality -- The nation’s leading social justice advocacy organization winning life-saving change for transgender people. NCTE was founded in 2003 by transgender activists who recognized the urgent need for policy change to advance transgender equality.

lambda legal -- A national organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgender people and those with HIV through impact litigation, education and public policy work.

pflag -- The nation’s largest organization uniting people who are LGBTQ+ with parents, families, friends, and allies. PFLAG has over 350 chapters and 200,000 members and supporters crossing multiple generations of American families in major urban centers, small cities, and rural areas in all 50 states.

it gets better -- Their mission is to uplift, empower and connect LGBTQ+ youth around the globe.

the trevor project -- The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning youth. 24/7 chat, text, and call line for crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ youth (13-24 years old).

egale canada (canada's lgbt human rights organization) -- Egale Canada is a national organization committed to advancing equality and justice for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-identified people, and their families, across Canada. Egale has members in every province and territory of the country. Their Board of Directors is comprised of an elected male and female representative from each of six regions of Canada.

rainbow railroad -- Rainbow Railroad is a Canadian charitable organization that helps lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals escape violence and persecution in their home countries.

as we all know, pride started from a riot. in light of recent events surrounding the black lives matter movement, we wanted to also showcase resources to help educate you && highlight ways you can help out. whenever we see our members talking about standing up for human rights && black lives, it makes us so proud to have you in our group. whether you protested, signed petitions, or donated -- it's important to show up for the black community every day, especially the black lgbtq+ community.

snapco��-- Builds power of Black trans and queer people to force systemic divestment from the prison industrial complex and invest in community support.

the okra project - Collective that seeks to address the global crisis faced by Black trans people by bringing home-cooked meals and resources to the community.

marsha p. johnson institute -- An organization dedicated to protecting and defending the human rights of Black transgender people.

national black justice coalition -- The National Black Justice Coalition is a civil rights organization dedicated to empowering Black lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.

trans justice funding project - Community-led funding initiative to support grassroots trans justice groups run by and for trans people.

black aids institute -- Working to end the Black HIV epidemic through policy, advocacy, and high-quality direct HIV services.

youth breakout -- Works to end the criminalization of LGBTQ+ youth in New Orleans to build a safer and more just community.

house of gg -- Creating safe and transformative spaces for community to heal, and nurturing them into tomorrow’s leaders, focusing on trans women of color in the South.

lgbtq+ freedom fund -- Posts bail for LGBTQ+ people held in jail or immigrant detention and raises awareness of the epidemic of LGBTQ+ overincarceration.

trans cultural district -- The world’s first-ever legally recognized trans district, which aims to stabilize and economically empower the trans community.

black minds matter uk -- Support in making mental health topics relevant and accessible for all black people in the U.K.

the stephen lawrence charitable trust -- They work with young people from disadvantaged backgrounds aged 13 to 30 to inspire and enable them to succeed in the career of their choice. They also influence others to create a fairer society in which everyone, regardless of their background, can flourish.

the official BLM website -- #BlackLivesMatter was founded in 2013 in response to the acquittal of Trayvon Martin’s murderer. Black Lives Matter Foundation, Inc is a global organization in the US, UK, and Canada, whose mission is to eradicate white supremacy and build local power to intervene in violence inflicted on Black communities by the state and vigilantes. By combating and countering acts of violence, creating space for Black imagination and innovation, and centering Black joy, they are winning immediate improvements in their lives.

black lives matter toronto -- To forge critical connections and to work in solidarity with black communities, black-centric networks, solidarity movements, and allies in order to to dismantle all forms of state-sanctioned oppression, violence, and brutality committed against African, Caribbean, and Black cis, queer, trans, and disabled populations in Toronto.

a collection of petitions/donation links/educational resources -- Click on "more resources" then "educate yourself" then "lesson plan on being an ally" to find an extremely useful table of education resources -- you can choose to do 10/25/40 mins per day.

#malnatievents #malnatipride

12 notes · View notes

malyceaduncastellan · 5 years

Text

Big little secrets

Just a random thing that popped in my mind a long time ago. So I know you guys have a way of presenting your stories on tumblr... That I obviously don’t get, so I’ll just stick with that. No worries, though, it should be appropriate for almoste everybody. Forgive my mistakes as English isn’t my first language.

F!MC with name Casey Valentine cause I was a lazy ass when beginning Open Heart. So, my MC is white but I tried to write her as not physically as possible ( I don’t even know if I can say that) so any female reader can identify. I’d try to write as gender neutral but as I said, English ain’t my first language and gender neutral pretty much doesn’t exist in french so I’ll need a little time to work on it... Sorry but as it is, to me it still feels weird.

The ship is with Ethan Ramsey.

Doctor Casey Valentine was as admired as she could be hated. Top of the interns classment, her patients pretty much all adored her, her roommates, for most of them, supported her fully even though some were pretty much involved with the competition.

She wasn’t a woman you could see slacking off. Everything she did, she gave her all to it. She never made mistakes twice, though she didn’t make a lot of mistakes, generally.

She was almost the only intern Ethan Ramsey recognized. They all knew how he called her, to the point he could ask someone to “bring Rookie to him” and they would bring Doctor Valentine.

Harper Emery didn’t really like her. That, no one really knew why. They could only guess it was because she was destroying the well-designed future of her niece just by being there, but some others said there was something more to it. Something they couldn’t quite grasp.

Maybe it was the fact that Casey made her think of herself younger, hardworking, passionated, young and beautiful, all that jazz. Maybe she reminded her of what she wasn’t anymore.

Anyway, no one was really surprised when she joined Ethan Ramsey’s diagnostics team. Her success was deemed inevitable ever since she had topped that list and she seemed to work even more than before she was in the team.

Therefore, when, one day, she had seemed weirdly off, it had been enough to worry her friends. She just smiled and said that she had spent a rough week, but a rough morning wasn’t enough to bring down this Casey Valentine.

Sienna and Elijah went hesitantly to Doctor Ramsey, asking him if something had happened in the diagnostics team that could make her so weird. He merely frowned, saying nothing out of the ordinary took place within the team.

When they finally confronted Casey about her weird behavior, she smiled and laughed.

“Honestly, guys? I said it’s nothing. I just... kind of fought with someone I hold dear. But I swear everything is okay now. We settled it down.”

That’s when they learned Casey had a boyfriend. A secret boyfriend she wouldn’t tell a thing about. Hell, they didn’t even know his name, nor when and how Casey had met him. Just that it was a man and that sometimes, Casey wasn’t home at nights.

Anyway, it seemed off to sneak into her privacy, especially when she seemed so bright about it. She often talked about his dog, about how adorable he could be. Sienna asked about his quirks, and Casey laughed, saying he was fiddling with his pockets whenever he was nervous. Elijah wanted to know of his character, and she answered by saying he really wasn’t what he seemed like. Landry was dying to know what kind of job the man did, and her tone faded dreamily, whispering he was doing something very good. Then Jackie asked for a lot of uneccessary details, just in case she had to kill the man if he dared to hurt her roomie, but Casey was having none of it.

Her lips were shut about anything that could give him away. Soon enough, they all rolled with it, figuring she would be forced to tell them one day if things turned up well, or that nothing would be said would it turn bad.

They all came back to their work thinking nothing of it, weeks passing with Casey being happier than they had seen her, and their work going smooth. Even Doctor Ramsey felt a little more relaxed ever since Casey was on his team. He probably had less work to worry about, making him less harsh on the interns.

Routine had just came back. Until Casey fainted in the middle of the corridors while speaking to other interns.

The door of the room opened so violently Sienna almost jumped. She frowned when she saw Doctor Ramsey, very obviously crossed but tried to stay focused as she was drawing up blood from Casey’s arm.

“Doctor Ramsey? What can I do for you?” she asked.

“Nothing. I was just checking she wasn’t pulling a stupid prank on me. Like that time I asked her what was wrong about her patient and she told me it was his “fucking stupid face”.”

“As if she would... But I would have preferred it that way. Her vitals are stable, but she hasn’t regained consciousness yet. She fainted approximately half an hour ago. Didn’t seem pale of anything during the day, just the usual. We were speaking and suddenly she stopped and just...fell. We’re running tests to see what could have happened to her since it kind of seems bad. I remember her saying she couldn’t eat to save her life in the morning or feeling dizzy lately.”

“Alright. Inform me right away if rest is deemed necessary. And I want to have access to all of her tests results. She needs to be the best she can if she wants to make this team better and she won’t if this happens frequently.”

“Understood.”

Sienna closed the last bottle of blood and gave it to Landry, who left immediately to observe the sample. When she turned, she found that Doctor Ramsey hadn’t left the room.

“I’m sorry... Did you need anything else, Doctor Ramsey?”

“Is any intern assigned to her case yet?

“Not yet, we’re kind of taking care of her when we can. I have to go back with my patients and so are all of the others. Should I ask Doctor Delarosa?”

Doctor Ramsey nodded.

“Put her under observation until she wakes up.”

Sienna nodded and she observed him as he seemed to crush the fabric of his pockets in his fists when he left. She thought nothing of it and left to attend to her duties before returning to her patients.

Therefore, when her pager informed her she was summoned to Casey’s room, she pretty much feared the worst.

Doctor Delarosa was standing besides Casey, a file with blood tests results in her hands. Doctor Ramsey was sitting in a chair, looking clearly tired and annoyed, which kind of angried Sienna. If he cared so little about Casey’s health that he only wanted her healthy so she could work properly, why did he even bother to stay there?

Jackie was there too, and she asked a silent question to Sienna. She didn’t seem to know why she was there either.

“She hasn’t woken up yet?”

“Oh, she did. I just put her under tranquilizers. She needs to sleep like crazy. I swear this girl only gets three hour of sleep per week to be that exhausted...”

“Doctor Delarosa, is that why she fainted?”

“Yes, and no. I summoned you three there because I believe you’re more likely to know anything about this.”

She handed Jackie the test results.

Sienna observed as her roomate scanned the sheet.

“Well, her tryglycerides are a bit low, but nothing problematic... Nothing particular about her immune tests either... Oh, god. Holy shit.”

Jackie’s eyes suddenly were wide opened.

“Is it really her blood tests?”

“Affirmative.”

“Well damn...”

“What what? What is happening to Casey? Jackie, she’s not dying is she?”

“I don’t think so, Sienna. I probably would be dying if I was in her shoes now though.”

Doctor Ramsey frowned and gripped his coat, looking weirdly annoyed.

“Delarosa, you’re seriously beginning to get on my nerves. What’s with my intern’s health that required my presence there?”

“She’s pregnant, Ramsey. That’s what’s happening to her.”

It was his turn to look positively astounished. Sienna almost would have laughed if she wasn’t shocked herself, but the face he made was comical, almost as if he didn’t believe that “Rookie” was physically able to get pregnant.

“Which is why you’re there. We don’t know who the father of that child is here and whoever it is, maybe she’d like him to be there when she wakes up. She’ll need a friendly face because this pregnancy ain’t looking good considering her mother had five miscarriages. I figured, as her girl roomies and as her boss, you might have heard a name. I don’t take her as the type who would fool around carelessly.”

Sienna and Jackie exchanged looks, then shook their head negatively.

“We don’t know. We know she has a boyfriend but honestly, all that we know about him is that he fiddles with his pockets when he’s nervous. We can’t help you.”

“I can.” said Doctor Ramsey, suddenly.

Sienna frowned. Why would Casey tell her boss about her boyfriend? It just didn’t make sense. Doctor Delarosa looked at her colleague.

“Then who can be the father of that child?”

“I honestly believe there is only one option...”

He grumbled, looking really annoyed. His cheeks were red and suddenly Sienna feared his anger more than anything. Then she looked at his hands, clenching his pockets in his fists, then putting one finger inside of it, then two, then removing his hand...

And it striked her, just as he spoke.

“I am.”

“What the fuck. Seriously, what the fuck. And we’re sworn to silence but how am I supposed not to tell anyone about it?”

“You tell me...”

Sienna and Jackie were walking together to their place. They simply needed time to cool off together and walking seemed like the best idea.

“Her boyfriend was Ethan Ramsey. Honestly, when do you think it began?”

“Months ago... I mean, we knew there was something fishy with that boyfriend of hers. No wonder she didn’t want anyone to know about it... People could have ruined her.”

Jackie sighed, then continued.

“Hell, I would have. But... I don’t know. I’m observant and I’ve always thought the way he looked at her was odd. With time I just thought it was because she was the best intern and he was keeping an eye on her but... after today...”

She remembered the scene just before they left. Delarosa had instructed them to leave Casey in Doctor Ramey’s hands. He had his back turned from the girls and he didn’t notice they hadn’t left the room yet. First, he just watched her, tracing the features of her face with the tip of his finger. Even though his posture clearly showed he was in distress, something about him seemed more relaxed than they could have imagined from him. They heard him sigh and taking Casey’s hand in his, pressing his lips to it. Every gesture seeming so natural that looking at it almost felt... indecent.

And now here they were, sorting out their thoughts.

“What do we do, Sienna?”

“Is that even a question? We support her. She’ll need it. I’m not dragging Casey through the mud when she might be living something difficult. Five miscarriages, can you imagine that? Her mother had to go through six pregnancies at least and five of them never saw the day. No way in hell I’m not helping her through that.”

“What do we tell the boys?”

“The truth minus Ramsey. Something tells me they could demand explanations from him and they wouldn’t last long. We have to protect them Jackie. Otherwise what kind of doctors are we?”

“I’m following you, Sienna. I just... I suddenly wish no one would proclaim me best intern in Edenbrook just because she’ll have to leave when she looks like a whale.”

“If she wants to keep it...”

Jackie shaked her head.

“Five miscarriages. Honestly, I don’t think she’d forgive herself if she decided to abort. And her mother probably wouldn’t either. And we’ll do anything so she can look like a whale and show us proudly the hideous munchkin when it’s born.”

“Hideous? Girl, have you seen its father?”

“Hmm... Casey’s hotter than him. Though, I wonder what he thinks of that baby.”

“Well, theorically, since this child is in Casey’s body, I’d say she’s the one who has to give the last say.”

“Sure. I mean, women fought for this but I really wouldn't like it if my girl got pregnant with my child and she just decided without thinking I deserve a teeny bit of advice on it.”

“Well, Jackie, thank god you actually can’t make anyone pregnant.”

They continued their banter until they arrived home. They needed to keep their hearts light about this story.

Night had fallen hours ago when Casey opened her eyes. She felt like she had drunk a ton of alcohol because her head was pounding and nausea was suddenly taking up on her. She wondered where she was, not recognizing the room she was in. But a familiar scent surrounded her.

“Ethan?”

“Hey.”

His voice was hoarse. She turned her head to look at him. Disheveld, his coat thrown on a chair and his eyes staring at her soul. Her Ethan, the one he showed her in the secrecy of his place. She brought her hand to his hair to caress it.

“I probably drank too much because I don’t recognize anything nor can I remember anything.”

He chuckled.

“Casey, you’re at Edenbrook, in a room. You fainted today and barely woke up. Delarosa decided you didn’t sleep enough.”

“Whose fault is that?”

“I guess it might just be mine. Or yours. You’re the one making me want to do these things. And you’re the one who says yes to it when I ask.”

Casey laughed.

“So, I fainted because I was tired. No big deal.”

“Actually... I need to tell you something.”

She looked at him while his eyes seemed to look in the void, searching for his words.

“Ethan?”

“Casey, you’re pregnant. We’re having a baby.”

“I… I am what?”

“Pregnant. You know, when there’s a baby just there.”

He touched her lower abdomen.

“Oh my god, but how?”

“I’m pretty sure I can figure out how…”

Ethan was trying the hardest he could to hide a sly smile on his face but Casey was having none of it.

“I didn’t mean THAT how! I mean we always made sure nothing like that happened…”

She stopped, looking at him with furrowed brows.

“Or did we?”

“Does it matter? You’re pregnant.”

Silence fell in the room as Casey laid down and stared at the ceiling.

“I know you don’t want kids, Ethan. But... “

“Casey.”

“What?”

When she turned to look at him, she almost gasped. He was looking at her with a look of sheer adoration on his face, love almost bursting out of his eyes. As if she was the most marvelous creature on the face of the Earth, even though she probably smelled bad, her hair was a mess and she was dressed like a potato.

“I want that kid if you want it. I’m not sure if I can be a good father. You know of my issues with that. But I won’t ever forbid you to be a mother or even remotely ask that of you. I could’nt. So, if you think you love me enough for us to try to be parents to that kid… I want it too.”

Her eyes filled with tears. She suddenly was so happy... And so scared.

“You mean, if I can keep it inside...”

Her smile turned to a pained frown and Ethan reached out to kiss the corner of her eyes.

“I’ll do everything for that.”

“I trust you… You saved Banerji, you can save this baby.”

“We saved Naveen. We will save this baby Casey. I promise.”

There it is, I hoped you liked it! Please tell me if I made spelling mistakes :)

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc

34 notes · View notes

trans-advice · 6 years

Note

Hi everyone. So I need an outside perspective and advice if possible. As far back as I can remember I’ve been 50-50 mentally. I’ve always been more masculine and dominate than the females around me. I do occasionally have my girly moments but more often than not I’m more male minded. I’m torn and just lost as to “me”. I’ve had people call me confused, Gay, gender fluid and even Trans. Anyone else feel this way? Just, lost and moments of both? SOS..

Okay, so I'm repetitive & kind of unorganized here. My regrets for not being more concise. Basically I give like definitions of LGBT+ vocabulary, a personal antedote, and basically try to express that you can be transgender & also be against gender conformity.Basically, gender identity is how You process yourself. It's internal & therefore you need to avoid the external about stuff. If you've seen yourself as 50-50, I'd suppose that's your gender identity. If you're questioning though you need to basically mute outside first & then deal with it once you know who you are.I'm sorry for not answering this sooner; i just felt like this was so disorganized & now I'm trying to give something instead of nothing.The following is what I originally typed up if you want to read that.-- Eve---Well, "gay" has to do with who you love &/ have sex with."Confused" depends on context. If they mean not conforming to expectations about gender/womanhood (AKA "gender roles") & that you should conform, then they're not being helpful they're being coercive & frankly, a lot of people deal with those haters & I'd advise not listening to them.If by "confused" they mean you don't know how you fit, but they're not trying to tell you how to be or pressuring you to do something, then they're benign. However, in the lgbtqia community Q also means Questioning. I'd suggest that label for your stress about sorting where you fit in with gender.I don't like designating dominance to masculinity, but that's because I don't like machismo & such.So for discussing your gender identity it's based on how you process yourself. This processing needs to be clear of gender roles as much as possible & focused inward.Aside>I just want to share my experience with this to help you.Personally, I'm a trans woman & I've known I'm a girl since I was 3. Like basically I was performing like girl-hating i saw in kid's movies because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. My sister called me out on this though. She's 7 years older than me, so she was 10 at the time. She told me considering the amount of women in our family that I was being stupid & that I didn't need to do those roles/stereotypes given to me. So that kind of made me go like woah. Anywho I realized that I was performing the roles because that's what everyone said I was but I didn't really feel it & so I realized that Femininity resonated with me although fighting/defended did too. So basically I've been a girl who's hated gender roles, but more willing to do girly stuff since I was 3. To be fair I've played outdoors, played video games, etc. But those are simply activities that get designated a gender & it's like it's bluntly obvious in children that these designations are extremely arbitrary.I also perform male gender roles at times because I actually tend to be somewhat submissive & I'm working on handling that. It's also because I like guys & I'm lonely. Lol.I do prefer gender neutrality because I do think within my childhood the obviousness of that reality is powerful. But it's like I do identify as a girl still, but I think on a social scale gender-neutral is a lot more helpful.Basically you can dislike the gender binary of roles & identities & such, you can still see it as restrictive & needing to be liberated & still have a binary gender identity. Like that's feminism basically.Gender roles are Not Gender Identities. Gender expression is Not Gender Identity. Gender Identity Is How You Process Yourself.Everything else regarding what parts of gender you conform to should only be because it makes you feel better & it's makes you feel happy, well, affirmed. It needs to be an internal motivation, (an internal joy) driving you. Distress can help indicate too, but for me at least joy is internal while distress is external.You need to focus your internal sense of self.If you identify as 50-50 that's great too. It might mean perhaps a nonbinary identity such as androgyne or something. Gender expression meaning wearing girly stuff & being dominate it's not identity though it could be a fluid gender expression (meaning you don't care about it being male or female, you're just doing you, gender conformity can back off.)So that's what I get. RememberGender—"Identity" is how you process yourself."Attribution" is what others say you are. "Expression" is like nonverbals."Roles" is like behaviors/activities/labor that society/others assign & designate to different genders.Sex is physiological.From a cisgender(normative) perspective it's the genitalia & other physical characteristics. From a transgender perspective it's what gender gets assigned to the genitalia & to some degree other characteristics. This thinking difference happens because of different life experiences.Sexuality/Sexual Orientation is who & how you want to have sex acts & relationships with. [2]Peace & LovePS[1]I could recommend different articles on different gender norms/ideals for purposes of also calling out gender roles as manufactured, but I want you to ignore all the gender roles as fake & focus on who You are, inward. That's how you answer that, and giving different gender norms/ideals in history would be distracting. However, looking into 1800s USA for women would be helpful if you want to like see social trends about gender. "Separate Realms" would be the increased polarization of gender roles in the 1800s if you're interested. Considering you're 50-50 seeing that it hasn't always been so segregated might be helpful.[2]Contrary to popular belief, it is not only "men, women, both or none of the above". We can talk about sexuality in like describing what activities you want to do in & out of "the bedroom". It can involve how you want affection to be displayed. It can involve in priorities & stuff. The stuff giving that "men, women, both, or none of the above" was invented by heteronormativity which isn't the only way to describe sexuality. I could get into it, but i just wanted to call that out. Here's a link about that.http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20170315-the-invention-of-heterosexuality?ocid=ww.social.link.facebook

10 notes · View notes

yusi-posts · 4 years

Text

Role Reversal: What if Women Behaved Like Men?

Yusi Wang

Speculative Feminism and Sustainable Future

Project 2: Processing Media, Final Draft

Nov 15, 2019

Nowadays, various forms of media portray gender dynamics in many ways that might be very different from the real world we live in. People have certain beliefs and ideas about gender roles, and these ideas and stereotypes are often challenged by different forms of media. For example, the film in 2018 called The Favourite written by Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara invites us to imagine being in a world where women are the dominant figures, and men feel pressure to obey rules made by women. In reality, people live in the world of dualism where male is the dominating figure, and we receive news and stories in the media about how men are abusive in a relationship, or how most men are very competitive and have the power to make decisions in the political world. Men are these goal-oriented and skillful figures who are more powerful than women.

Based on the scholarly article “Girls Just Wanna Not Run: The Gender Gap in Young Americans’ Political Ambition”, the female office holders in the United States is a very small percentage. For example, only 20 percent of the US senators, 17.8 percent of members of the U.S House of Representatives, and 10 percent of State Governors are women (Lawless and Fox 1). Basically, the article uses lots of data and surveys to prove the gender gap in political ambition among college students. The data proved that “young men are more likely than young women to be socialized by their parents to think about politics are a career path”, and that “young women are less likely than young men to receive encouragement to run for office -- from anyone”(Lawless and Fox 6,12). The reality of our lives is that there exists a big gender gap in political ambition, and it is hard to change that based on all these expectations and beliefs of parents, teachers, and even ourselves. Similarly, another article on “Women's Issues and Their Fates in the U.S Congress” further supports the statement that not only gender gap exists in the political world, but also only 2 percent of bills related to women’s issues actually become law, while only 1 percent for women’s issue bills sponsored by women themselves (Volden et al. 679). These problems and unequal power dynamics between male and female prevail in our society, and some people get used to this situation pretty fast.

In the film The Favourite, the roles of men and women are reversed, which provides an alternative world that is autonomous to our dominant culture. Throughout the film, there are many specific moments of transformation and complicity that demonstrate how women are dominant in sexual relationships, political power, and finally, in making decisions for themselves to achieve their long-planned goals.

Set in early 18th-century England, The Favourite is about the relationship between three women: Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, her cousin Abigail Masham, and the Queen Anne (Lanthimos). While England is at war with France in 1704, Queen Anne is in poor health, and her secret lover is in control of governing the country (Lanthimos). Abigail, Sarah’s cousin, comes to search for a job because her father sold her in a gambling competition. After finding out the sexual relationship between Sarah and Anne, she uses different strategies to please the Queen, and eventually started a sexual relationship with Anne, while Sarah focuses on politics and war. The two constantly fight for the Queen’s favourite for gaining power and love, while the male characters in the film are portrayed as playful, subordinate, and purposeless.

By looking at the sexual relationships between Sarah and the Queen, and Abigail and Samuel, first Baron Masham, the audience are invited to observe how women manipulate their partners and obtain power, which is unusual in our real world stereotypes. In the very first scene of the movie, after the Queen is dressed up by multiple maids with luxurious clothing, Anne says with a firm attitude that Sarah should be willing to do anything for her, because love has no limits. This first conversation between the two women sets the tone for the whole film that they are fighting for love, within that are unavoidable sacrifice and loss. The audience learns that these two women love each other in the beginning, which is evolutionary because it is unusual and not appreciated by most people around that time in history. As the story goes on, Abigail comes in searching for a job. She is a woman with a kind heart, and willing to endure humiliation and difficulties in order to get what she wants. She finds herb in the forest to cure the Queen’s injured leg, and she goes into her room without permission. Even though Sarah whipps her for entering the room, she gains Sarah’s trust aftering Anne felt better after the herb is applied. Later, Sarah teaches Abigail to shoot birds with her in the huge backyard of the palace, and the male servants throw the birds into the air. The two women have a political conversation. Abigail is curious why Sarah fights hard for the war and is willing to send her beloved husband to the front of the line knowing that his life is at risk. Sarah says, “It is right. If we don’t do it, they’ll gather forces and be over here cutting us all into chops within the year… There is always a price to pay. I am prepared to pay it” (Lanthimos). In this scene, it is unusual to see two women shooting together talking about politics these days. The fact that Sarah is very clear-minded and willing to sacrifice men, even her own husband, for peace of the country demonstrates her power in the romantic relationship as well as her ambition for the greater good of the country. In real life, we think that men often goes fight for war because they wanted to do so, and women wait at home desperately wanting to hear even just a few words about their husbands.

In another scene, Samuel, first Baron Masham, shows affection towards Abigail when he sees her in the forest. When Abigail is in her room, he comes in all dressed up with delicate and royal clothing and is heavily covered in makeup. The exaggerated wig and eyeliner, heavy foundation and bright red lipstick show that the man spent a lot of time preparing to see Abigail. On the other hand, Abigail is not afraid to see him in the room at night, and she rather said in a playful tone, “what an outfit” (Lanthimos). And Samuel looks at Abigail and plays with his wig, “I thought it might be too much” (Lanthimos). Here it is surprising to see that Abigail is so comfortable talking to a man who just came into her room in the middle of the night, knowing that he is powerless in doing anything to hurt her. She knows how to control the man, while Samuel feels extremely shy and uncomfortable, and fear that Abigail might not like his makeup and outfit. This is exactly the opposite in what people experience in real life. We hear all these stories about men invading space, abusing and raping women, and women are so powerless to do anything about them, afraid to even speak up. Colleges have to affirm students that there are resources on campus for people to safely talk about these issues. However, in this scene, we see the change of power between men and women. Their conversation continues. The man confesses that he is totally intrigued by her, in turn, Abigail stands up and rubs his face aggressively, and says, “You are handsome”(Lanthimos). He tries to kiss her, but Abigail bits his lips and says that she does not allow it and pushes him out of the room. Throughout this encounter, Abigail remains logical and calm the whole time, while Samuel tries hard to understand and please the woman, but fails.

After Abigail gains admiration and trust from the Queen, Anne granted the opportunity for Abigail to marry Samuel, despite the difference in their status and power. Abigail finally changed from a maid to a person with status and power, and she uses Samuel’s love to gain a luxurious life. There is a scene where soon after they get married, Abigail dresses in fancy outfit holding wine in her hand, flirting with some other guys at a party, while Samuel looks at her angrily but helpless at the same time. Abigail does not care about how he feels, because she already has power and reputation in hands. This scene emphasis that once the woman got everything she wanted, she abandons the man in the relationship. Again, this challenges the idea of male domination in real life and gives the audience a fresh take on how women manipulate men to gain power. Last scene about woman domination in a romantic relationship is when Samuel wants to have sex with Abigail, but she does not care and instead talks about how to best use her power to manipulate Sarah, and that she is always ready to fight whenever she needs to. While talking to herself about how to make a plan to defeat Sarah, she still manages to satisfy the man’s need for sex using her hands. These short yet powerful scenes illustrate the female domination in romantic/sexual relationships, which show the audience how male and female roles can be reversed.

Second, there are several crucial scenes from the film that demonstrates women domination in political power. One of the scenes starts with two men waiting to see the Queen to discuss about making peace for the war. Sarah came for the Queen to make decisions. She states that the Queen felt strong for the war instead of making peace. Sarah has decided to double the land tax even though the man, Mr. Harley thinks the decision is madness. They argue about love for the country, and she is willing to give up anything, even the last man to fight for victory. The man disagrees and asks to see the queen. Sarah says, “State it to me. I love comedy” (Lanthimos). The man wanted to say more, but Sarah cuts him off again, “Your mascara is running. If you’d like to go fix yourself, we can continue this later” (Lanthimos). The man is angry but does not know what to say, he stares at her closely, Sarah stares back, the man and runs away in madness. After he left, the other man warns Sarah that “A man’s dignity is one thing that holds him back from running amok.” Sarah smiles, “Sometimes a lady likes to have some fun”(Lanthimos). This brief exchange between Sarah and the man demonstrates women's power in political decision-making, and that she is not afraid of speaking her mind, and even has fun arguing with men. This scene makes it possible for a man to lose dignity for a woman to have some fun when discussing politics.

In another conversation between Mr. Harley and Abigail, he wants to ask for her help on updating important political decisions that Anne and Sarah are making. At first Abigail refuses to help, because she wants to stay true to Sarah who gave her a job. But later, as she becomes more powerful and finds out the sexual relationship between Anne and Sarah, she wanted even more power. Therefore, for her own goal, she gives some information to Harley but not all, to exchange for an opportunity to marry Samuel. Even though on the surface Harley successfully avoided the doubled tax on land, the audience knows that Abigail is the ultimate winner of power. This favor exchange illustrates how Abigail, as a woman, can utilize her knowledge about the Queen to make a political decision for the country that is eventually for her own good. Men, in contrast, are depicted as foolish and helpless characters that have to listen to obey the women all the time.

One of the scenes depicting the activities of men further implies the reversed power dynamics of women and men compare to real life. In a huge and magnificent room in the palace, a man stands naked in front of fifteen other well-dressed men, and he is covered in fruits and cakes. Basically, these well-dressed men throw tons of food to the naked man to have fun. They also set up routes for ducks to compete with each other and see which one runs the fastest. They are depicted as if they have nothing else to do. These men do not care about the country and power because they have no purpose in their lives.

In the film The Favourite, women are dominant in their romantic/sexual relationships and political stances. Most importantly, they are able to make decisions for themselves and for their own successes. We see these women as independent individuals who work hard for their goals and dreams. It is very interesting to see the contract between female and male characters in this movie: one is depicted as driven, motivated, smart, skillful, and free, whereas the other is depicted as playful, pleasing, dependent, and purposeless. This complete role reversal provides the audience an alternative and imaginative world that is the opposite of our real world dominant culture and tradition. It invites the audience to think about what is it like to live in a world where three women are in the power of determining the faith of an entire country. It invites the audience to rethink on why the concept of feminism exists, and why is it that some people try hard to promote equality for all. It invites the audience to walk in someone else’s shoes, and to feel the emotions and feelings that are not usual in our daily lives.

Works Cited

Lanthimos, Yorgos. “The Favourite.” YouTube, uploaded by YouTube Movies, 27 November 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5rNSBaR1Hw&has_verified=1

Lawless, Jennifer L., and Richard L. Fox. Girls Just Wanna Not Run - American.edu. https://www.american.edu/spa/wpi/upload/girls-just-wanna-not-run_policy-report.pdf.

Volden, C., Wiseman, A., & Wittmer, D. (2018). Women’s Issues and Their Fates in the US Congress. Political Science Research and Methods, 6(4), 679-696. doi:10.1017/psrm.2016.32

0 notes