#so sorry internet you're getting subjected to it

[dduane]

Sorry if you’ve answered this before, but any tips on improving your technobabble?

I originally came at this problem from two different directions. The first one took considerably more time to enable.

(a) Be familiar (or get familiar) with the languages in which most scientific terms are coined: Latin and Greek.

I took Latin in high school, already knowing that I was a science person and that Latin was considered "the language of science". (And medicine, which also turned out to be handy for me later.) I also started studying Greek in college—and, sigh, I'm still studying it.

Once you're starting to get familiar with the languages, practice coining terms as you need them. While it's considered a failure of style in scientific naming to mix Latin and Greek in the same term, I've found it better to be guided by euphony than a slavish obedience to the rules.

Because sometimes a word or term just sounds right. "Temporospatial claudication", for example, was coined by running a Latin physics term head-on into a medical one. "Claudication" was (and still is in some countries) a term for a constriction in a blood vessel. Its origin in the Latin claudo- and clausum roots is responsible for the Emperor Claudius's name, which would once have implied somebody who limps secondary to such a circulatory problem. I simply bent the term's most basic meaning off into a different direction.

...So you see how that goes. Bang the roots together and see what successfully sticks.

The second approach is a little easier. But only a little.

(b) Base your coined terminology on the conventions and rhythms of real technobabble: by which I mean actual, technical scientific language.

The best way to pick this up in sufficient depth is by reading technical papers in your field of interest—lots of them—so you can see how the pros communicate to/with one another. Every field has its own jargon lying around just begging to be stolen... assuming you observe very carefully how it's correctly used. Otherwise you risk outing yourself as nothing but an interested but insufficiently-committed bystander. You must also be super careful not to screw with the interior grammar of such techspeak... as inevitably it'll have one.

For example: when I was tooling up for writing The Wounded Sky, I spent easily three months reading papers in/on hyperdimensional physics. (Not that I wouldn't have done this anyway. It's a fascinating subject, and before I went into nursing I'd been a physics major, so I had a fair amount of the necessary background to understand what I was reading.) Even in the 80s there were a lot of such papers around, and in those distant pre-Internet days I was helped a whole lot by living just across the road from the impressive science library at Cal State Northridge.

During that period I could be found in the periodicals racks once or twice every week, digging through the monthly journals on the hunt for material that would be germane to the plot I was boiling. I found ten times more goodies than I ever could reasonably have used. The toughest part was winnowing it all down to what I actually needed to scatter here and there for atmosphere's sake, or to plant in specific spots to grease the plot's wheels. (My favorite remains the [legit!] paper with the delightful title, "Taub-NUT Space as a Counterexample to Almost Anything.")

Anyway, I must have got something about that whole business right, since one Princeton physics professor whose work I'd cited at the end of the novel asked me if he could use it in teaching his classes. :)

But there's a third element involved; more an attitude that you apply to what you've produced while employing the first one or two approaches.

You have to treat your coined terms as if they're absolutely real... something that any person educated in the science you're working with would know. The voice and tone in which you write using them has to reflect this absolute confidence and commitment to their reality. Because if you don't—at least while you're writing—absolutely believe in them enough to speak confidently about them, no one else will believe in them either.

But then that's a solid general principle anyway. If you don't do something you've created the courtesy of taking it seriously enough to believe in it (or its reality inside the larger reality you're creating), it won't long survive contact with exterior realities like the inside of your reader's mind.

HTH!

ETA: here's that citation page from the end of Wounded Sky. I believe it remains the only Star Trek novel with a cites list at the end. :)

#technobabble #how to #or a couple of ways to

[delphi-shield]

OLD FOLKS HOME ↪ age gap hcs

the people you love & the shit they do that reminds you of the dreaded Gap (tm). characters included: leon kennedy, chris redfield, jill valentine, claire redfield, rebecca chambers no warnings to speak of. remember kids, if you're gonna date people in their 30s and 40s, you're gonna have different cultural contexts and, most likely, different senses of humor.

Leon is eight levels of irony deep. He started doing Old Guy Shit just to mess with you, and now it's all come full circle. 

It turns out he actually likes watching the weather channel. He’s monitoring storms that are miles and miles away from you, pointing out the feeder bands like it’s some kind of sporting event. 

He's genuinely invested in Ice Road Truckers. He asks you to TiVo it for him when he's gone. You do not have TiVo. In fact, you're pretty sure no one still has TiVo. 

Or you were, until Leon once again committed to the bit and got TiVo.

Really, genuinely annoying about old movies, actors, and directors.

”What do you mean you don’t know who Robert Redford is? The Candidate? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? C’mon. He was even in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You’ll know him when you see him.”

At least you get movie dates out of it.

Movie dates that he will pepper with trivia about the film, by the way. You don't need the commentary track. He is the commentary.

I'm so, so sorry about this. 🤪 is his favorite emoji. I know. I'm sorry.

Chris cannot fucking hear. To be honest, I think most of them have some degree of hearing loss - but Chris in particular seems to have very subjective hearing loss.

Yes, you were just having a full-fledged conversation. No, he didn’t hear you ask him to take out the trash. He didn’t forget, he just didn’t hear you. Sorry, you were standing on his right - come on, you know that’s his bad side.

Explains basic technology to you because he’s not sure if you know what it is. Then, in the same breath, crams in so many military acronyms he may as well be reciting the alphabet. Does not explain the acronyms.

Like, yeah, Chris. I know what a landline is. Dial-up internet, too. Now, what the fuck is an ORE?

Have you ever gotten ‘ok’ in response to a nude? You’re about to. Completely demoralizing, by the way.

He didn't know you wanted him to compose a poem dedicated to your beauty, okay? He tries to get better, but winds up sending shit like 'wow 👍'

Does the dad thing where he insists he's not interested in watching what's on TV and then stands with his hands on his hips in the middle of the living room, enthralled by the show.

Jill does not understand your music. She will not make an attempt to understand your music. If you see her tapping her foot to the beat, no you do not. She is not interested in expanding her musical horizons.

She only bought you tickets to that concert because she knew you would love it. She only went with you because you’re cute when you’re so into this stuff. She only bought that t-shirt because it would be a good souvenir, and eventually, a good grease rag.

Generalized distrust of social media. Do not show her a tiktok. She will ignore the video and lecture you about data safety. Jill, please. Just watch the fucking cat video.

And then she turns around and opts in to literally everything on the McDonald's app.

If there’s a rewards program, she’s in. Already sold. Didn’t even read the fine print. All that shit she was telling you about how you need to be more careful is right out the window for some free fries.

Anything for the thrill of a good deal. If she had more time on her hands, she would be couponing.

Buys in bulk. No, it doesn't matter if the two of you could not physically eat that much rice. It's cheaper to buy it like this. It's fine. It's good for you.

Gotta stock up on non-perishables, too. You gotta be prepared in case something happens. "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."

Claire cannot stop shopping from QVC. She's in the kitchen with David. It Takes Two with Mary and Sandra? Wrong. It actually takes three. Mary, Sandra, and Claire.

Infomercials have got her by the throat. You have so many gadgets and gizmos around your home that are just collecting dust.

Gets wine drunk and goes online shopping. Legitimately does not remember what she’s bought.

Absolutely will not let you open the packages. (“Some of this stuff could be for you, you know.” “Claire, last time it was a 10,000 count package of googly eyes.” “And I used all 10,000. You still haven’t found them all.”)

Uses every piece of technology until it’s about to fall apart. Absolutely not interested in having the latest and greatest. She’s one of those people who insists that as long as her phone can make calls and send texts, she doesn’t need a new one.

Speaking of texts. Somehow, she got it into her head that a read receipt is equivalent to a reply. She doesn't get what the problem is. You know she saw your text. Why does she have to reply?

Genuinely doesn't mean anything malicious by it - but also, if you did that to her, you would never hear the end of it.

Rebecca legitimately has facebook humor. They all have some degree of facebook humor, but she's got it the worst. 

Will blow up your notifications tagging you in shit that is just straight up not funny. I’m talking full on tagging you with “😂😂😂”

Unironically sent you a minion meme once.

It's not that she's disconnected. She teaches undergrads. She knows what’s in, even if it’s only from the periphery. It’s just that she doesn’t care. She has no interest in keeping up with trends just for the sake of it. She’s so used to being the youngest person in the room and having to keep up expectations that she just absolutely does not care anymore. She's glad she's not one of the kids anymore.

If it made her laugh it made her laugh, her enjoyment isn’t shackled by feelings of shame!!

If you have a group chat on any platform with your friends please invite her. She's just happy to be included. She'll make a discord if she has to, and she'll brag about it to her students.

Yeah, she says pupper and doggo. She does. Look at her.

#resident evil headcanons #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy x reader #chris redfield x reader #jill valentine x reader #claire redfield x reader #rebecca chambers x reader #resident evil fanfic #resident evil #leon kennedy

[matan4il]

sorry if this isn't a good place to ask but you're one of the few blogs on here that has actually done any research at all on the subject and. yknow how the pro-palestine donation posts repeatedly give you the option to buy esims specifically. why is that? I've never seen any other movement where the donation posts had you buy esims for them. what fucking use *are* they? you can't eat them, drink them- you might be able to order food with them if it wasn't for the fucking war.

maybe this is cynicism on my part but i genuinely suspect they're being used by hamas to spread propaganda. why else would they need that many esims? but you definitely know more about this than i do.

Hi lovely, sorry it took me a moment to reply!

I can tell you that even before I got this ask, the eSims campaign struck me as odd and suspicious, based on a few basic things I know, but if I was going to reply to you on this, I needed to do some research about it.

To make this ask reply clear, by "connectivity" I mean the ability to either make phone calls, log onto the internet, or both.

Okay, so why did this campaign make me wonder in the first place? Because while there have been some connectivity problems for Gazans, from what I know, there was only one time when connectivity was down to a degree that would justify a campaign, even then it wasn't completely gone for good, because Israel has worked to restore connectivity to Gazans. But I also wondered whether, if the connectivity is down, an eSim would be the solution? And if it would be, why would there be a need for that many eSims? We're over 5.5 months into this war, that's almost half a year of constantly hearing how Gaza is about to starve, so are eSims really Gazans' biggest problem if they have no food and basic needs? But even if it was enough of a problem to merit a campaign, wouldn't there have been more than enough donations by now to have solved it to a considerable degree? Since connectivity was never fully gone for long, surely there's a limit to how many more eSims they actually need, at least at certain points in time? From my experience with donating to Israelis displaced or affected by Palestinian terrorists (in this war, as well as during previous crises), there does come a time when you hear, "Okay, thank you to everyone donating X, we have enough of that, what we need now is more of Y, we would really appreciate you donating that!" But there has been no moment when we saw the eSims campaign saying, "We've had enough donations of this type, thank you, now please look more into donating X or Y, which Gazans currently need more."

And that led me to another question - if there is a certain scam involved here, what kind? Is it a financial one? Is this just meant to get money from the rest of the world feeling bad for Palestinians, and beyond the financial theft, it's harmless? Or is the money going to Hamas and people affiliated with it, which means it might be financing terrorism and the continuation of killing? Or maybe the scam is in allowing Hamas terrorists connectivity that can't be tracked as easily by Israeli security forces, which are trying to avert terrorist attacks against Israeli civilians?

I am not the biggest expert, so I don't have all the answers, but here's what I have managed to figure out.

So, first of all, connectivity requires physical infrastructure. Israel has been providing that for Gaza for years, in the form of underground cables and cellular antennas positioned on both sides of Israel's border with Gaza (source in Hebrew). The Oct 7 massacre initiated by Hamas and the following war have at times physically damaged this infrastructure, which is why Gaza has had less connectivity than usual (though it's not gone). The one time which was the worst, in terms of connectivity, the internet (but not all connectivity) was down from Friday, until Israel managed to fix things on Sunday (link above is the source for all this, it's an article from Oct 31, 2023. That said, Oct is when the most connectivity issues were reported). That means that Gaza was never fully offline except for that short period of Friday to Sunday. It also means the connectivity issues are not some plot to keep Gazans from telling the world about their plight (the way I've seen the eSims campaign presented on social media), or the connectivity would be totally down, and Israel would not do anything to restore it at any point.

And I'm pointing this out to explain one of two reasons why eSims being bought for Gazans might be useless as a solution to Gaza's connectivity if Israel was actually purposely harming it. (this following part is based on me reading way too many articles about eSim technology, those can be easily found everywhere online)

If the physical infrastructure providing the signal (which mobile networks use to provide connectivity) is physically damaged, eSim technology can't bypass that. Because eSim technology doesn't provide the signal, it just allows the owner of an eSim to easily switch between mobile networks without having to switch physical SIMs provided by these networks. That means, that for the eSim to work, there has to be some connectivity anyway. There also has to be connectivity in the first place in order to activate the eSim program paid for by someone outside Gaza (not to mention, they'd need connectivity to get the code, and learn that they're getting an eSim, and how to activate it). If Israel really was intentionally cutting off Gaza's connectivity by shutting down the physical infrastructure, as it's being presented online, eSims would be completely useless. You wouldn't be able to activate them, and you wouldn't have a signal that allowed you to use them. A campaign that misrepresents the basic facts (as if Israel is intentionally denying Gazans connectivity, or as if eSims can provide connectivity all on their own) is suspect to me.

The other reason why eSims wouldn't be a solution for many (if not most) Gazans, even if you do have connectivity, is that it also requires you to have an eSim compatible smartphone. The 'e' in eSim stands for 'embedded.' That means the technology that allows the use of eSims has to be embedded into the phone you're using, and then you can buy and activate an eSim. If you buy an eSim and wanna use it with a smartphone that doesn't have the required technology embedded, that's a bit like buying a wireless charger to use with an older phone that can only be charged through a cable (it just doesn't have the technology embedded that allows it to connect to and be charged by a wireless charger). The technology allowing the use of eSims has only been embedded in more recent phone models, which Gazans are less likely to have.

Regarding that last point, I wanna explain that, as mentioned in the above Hebrew link, before the war Gaza's mobile networks were all operating on 3G technology, even though most phones now operate on 4G or even 5G technology, which means it wouldn't be worth it for the average Gazan to invest in buying a newer phone, which is presumably more expensive than an older model. Especially if it's one that can't even connect to the older 3G network.

That's not to say there wouldn't be any Gazans with newer phones. The myth spread before the war for years called Gaza a 'concentration camp' or 'open air prison' as if people there have nothing (which makes vids comparing Gaza before and after the war particularly ironic. Either there was nothing before the war, and then the war didn't change much, or Gaza was a beautiful, thriving place before the war, and then calling it a 'concentration camp' was a Holocaust distorting lie). Here's the truth, there were indeed many Gazans who were poor and didn't have that much. But there were also Gazans who were extremely rich, the gap there was one of the biggest in the world. A lot of Israelis are familiar with the Twitter hashtag that documented wealth and luxury in Gaza before the war, TheGazaYouDontSee. It was based on an Arabic speaking Israeli Jewish woman following the social media accounts of actual Gazans, and sharing in English what they would upload, showing stuff like resorts, hotels, luxury cars that most Israelis I know can't afford. You know, typical concentration camp stuff. You'd have to scroll back in the hashtag a bit to find those older tweets from before the war, some have been captured and shared on Tumblr as well.

Where does the gap come from? Not all of it, but a big part is about who is in Hamas (and who isn't), who's affiliated with Hamas (and who's not), who gets some of the donated billions of dollars being poured into Gaza over the years and mostly stolen by Hamas, who gets some of the money coming from Qatar, who gets some of the money coming from Iran, and so on. In other words, the poverty that existed in Gaza before, existed despite how much money was being invested in it for years, and because of Hamas and Hamas-related thieves, making a profit out of it, while keeping sections of the Gazan population poor and without aid.

BTW, if there would have been a permanent ceasefire now, this would just be replicated. The world would donate more money than ever, and Hamas would steal almost all of it, with a big chunk going to the financing of terrorism (building terror tunnels we now know are more extensive than the NYC subway or the London tube, stocking up on rockets, drones, explosives, assault rifles, RPGs and more, which allow Hamas to continue to fight the strongest army in the Middle East and target innocent Israeli civilians for over 5.5 months) and the rest lining up their own pockets, enabling them to lead a VERY nice, comfortable, even luxurious life.

So which Gazans are the most likely to have eSim compatible smartphones? The rich ones, who are in or associated with Hamas.

And that brings me to the question of what's the real purpose of the eSims campaign.

One aspect could be the propaganda value of such a campaign. They're not just repeatedly asking people to donate money for eSims, many posts are asking for it, while insisting on the vilifying lie that Israel is keeping Gaza disconnected on purpose. It's a bit like the boycott campaign. Starbucks is not actually affiliated with Israel or Israeli policy, it doesn't even have any branches in Israel, it tried in the past, but had to close here. So why in the world would it finance anything Israeli? When an Israeli Prime Minister has to decide whether to finish off Hamas, so that hundreds of thousands of Israelis can safely return to their homes in southern Israel, he's not calling a chain of cafes that doesn't even sell anything in this country. The only current sort-of-link to Israel, is that the CEO is Jewish. So if Starbucks is boycotted and takes a financial hit, that has zero influence on Israel or its policies. Why then has Starbucks been targeted? Maybe partly because of the CEO, which is antisemitic. But most likely, it's because Starbucks is an easy to spot brand when pics of celebs are being taken, which allows people to talk about the boycott. And that's the value, it's a PR move, to get it into everyone's head that anyone associated with Israel should be canceled. To repeat it constantly regarding different celebs, until the message gets through, that the biggest monster in this world, and the one state that everyone should be united against, is the Jewish one.

The financial aspect. Again, I'm not a big expert, but I can't really see how, if people are being asked to pay eSim providers directly, this would be done for financial gain. I could be wrong, maybe there is some way to funnel the money to the people in the campaign instead of regular Gazans, but on the surface at least, I'm not sure how (since they're not asking for the receipts, just the activation code). It could still be about financial gain in the sense that the eSims aren't providing connectivity when the physical infrastructure is down, but they mean some Gazans haven't had to pay for their internet for a while. Which ones? Most likely, the ones in or affiliated with Hamas. I personally do not like the idea of terrorists launching a massacre that is the opening shot of a war, relying on all the donations they can steal after the end of the war to make it worth while, and then as a perk getting their internet paid for by strangers.

Then there's the direct value to Hamas, meaning the option that the campaign is meant to directly help Hamas' terrorist activity, or terrorist goals. Meaning, not only are the eSims going to people who are in or have connections to Hamas, the codes are sent to them specifically to aid them with harming Israel.

Why am I considering this option? For one thing, because we know that since the start of the war, Hamas terrorists inside Gaza have been directing terrorist activity outside of it. One example is a Palestinian terrorist squad, which was directed from Gaza, and was thankfully stopped before they managed to carry out the attack they were planning, and here's another similar example, of a terrorist squad made up of 13 Israeli Arabs, and directed from Gaza on how to carry out mass terrorist attacks, stopped thanks to documents the IDF found while operating inside Gaza. An attack that was successfully carried out and was confirmed as directed from Gaza, is the one where terrorists shot to death several people in Jerusalem, during what was supposed to be a truce between Israel and Hamas, during which Israeli hostages would be released (I heard this recently on TV, online I sadly only managed to find a source that these terrorists had a track record of being directed from Gaza). These terrorist directives from Gaza require connectivity, preferably of the type that Israeli security can't track.

And we do know that our forces do track Hamas cellular activity. For example, we've learned that on Oct 6, Israel discovered weird cellular activity in Gaza, where a lot of Hamas terrorists were activating (physical) Israeli SIMs, allowing them to connect to local networks once inside Israel. This led to a discussion of Israeli army seniors in the middle of the night, on whether this is a sign that something's up, but eventually it was concluded that Hamas terrorists have done this before, so the alarm was (unfortunately) not raised, and the massacre wasn't prevented. In other words, it's possible that eSims can help Gazan Hamas terrorists to direct terrorist attacks against Israeli civilians outside Gaza, and it's also possible that, when Hamas is continuously trying to breach the Israeli border, an eSim could help them if they make it into Israel, by not needing to activate an Israeli SIM, detectable by Israeli security. IDK that this is the intent, but for me personally, I would prefer to err on the side of caution, and be sure that I haven't unknowingly donated an eSim, that might have assissted in the murder of an innocent civilian.

I also mentioned directly aiding Hamas' terrorist goals, not just their activity. This terrorist organization dared launch its massacre, despite knowing the Israeli reaction would be fierce (as any country's would be if its citizens would have been so extremely brutalized), because it relied on using regular Gazans as human shields, then showing the world horror pictures, which would get everyone distressed enough, that they would overlook the massacre, and Hamas' vow to repeat it, and focus on demanding an immediate ceasefire, saving Hamas from being destroyed. We know Hamas uses "journalists," and some of these "journalists" are actual terrorists (generally, there's no free press in Gaza thanks to Hamas) and others to broadcast this narrative of horrors (that if successful, would lead to greater horrors). The eSims campaign has mentioned specifically providing connectivity to journalists, which means serving the ability of Hamas to go on inundating the world with images that fit the narrative it needs the world to believe, in order to save itself, and continue carrying out terrorist attacks (or God forbid, massacres).

Here's the relevant citation from the campaign site, which highlights providing Gaza "journalists" with eSims:

I'm not gonna tell anyone what to do with their money, but I'll repeat my personal POV. I do think we're all responsible for the money we donate, and we can't just give it away to causes that will make us feel good about ourselves, without making sure that the money won't end up in the hands of terrorists, and do real harm. The latter is our responsibility, even if we didn't know it will go to terrorists, because we should check and make sure that we know who the money goes to. The first responsibility we all have is, "Do no evil," right? Even the least awful scenario of what might be the driving force behind the campaign, is still one that financially compensates people affiliated with Hamas, and contributes to a false demonization of the Jewish State. But at the end of the day, this is an individual choice, that each person has to make for themselves.

I hope my reply helps! Sorry for the length, and hoping that you are doing well, and taking care of yourself! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #antisemitism #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #terrorism #anti terrorism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish #resources #esims #ask #clawdia-xboxliver

[dollish-shard]

The Hypnowitch

Hypnowitch whose very aura is enough to draw people near her under her spell. Her eyes are so captivating they're impossible to resist, her voice so charming that any request made cannot be disobeyed.

She hates it. She hates this power with all of her being.

She goes everywhere with dark sunglasses, hiding her eyes. She mumbles everything she says as to not accidently issue a command. She spends most of her time cooped up in her isolated manor, communicating with others over the internet, where her power has no sway.

To control others is her heritage, her birthright, but she wants no part in it. Her mothers were despots who used their power to control, always getting what they wanted. And for her, who was immune to their powers...

She swore never to turn out like them.

Most in town feared the witch anyway. They averted their gaze, avoided her, lest they be subject to her control. It was, to them, deeply unpleasant, having their free will ripped away. It was understood she did not intend it, but humans are ever fearful of the different.

Except for one girl.

Where others fled, she remained, watching the witch when she could. Letting that control wash over her, shivering with pleasure as her mind blanked out. She wanted to feel it all the time. She wanted to be completely under the witch's power.

One day, the witch, hurrying to finish her chores, tripped, spilling her belongings all over the ground. The girl's heart soared, for she saw her chance.

"Let this one, Miss!" She said, running over and gathering the witch's things.

"Oh, no, you don't have to, really, it's fine..." The witch mumbled, shaking her head, but the girl continued anyway.

"It is no trouble, Miss! This one exists to serve you!" The girl felt her mouth and body move on their own, and knew bliss like she'd never before.

Blushing with embarrassment and shame, the witch took her things from the girl, muttering apologies, and rushed away as fast as she could.

When the girl's will returned, her mind was made up. She knew what she had to do.

The witch rarely got visitors, her manor so far from any civilization. So when she got a knock on the door, her heart sank, anxiety and fear overwhelming her. She hastily grabbed her glasses and rushed to the door with trepidation in her heart.

She looked through the peephole, and saw the girl that had helped her before. Fear swelled in her heart, for surely this girl had come to get revenge.

"Miss witch?" The girl called. "Are you there? Please open up..."

Swallowing her fear, the witch opened the door.

Instantly, the girl lit up, dropping into a deep bow. The witch shook her head, taking a step back. "No, no no please don't, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry..."

The girl looked up, and smiled. "Don't apologize, miss. This one has come to pledge itself to you."

As the witch stared, mouth agape, the girl continued, the words compelled from her lips but coming from her heart. "This one has always yearned to serve, Miss. It could think of no greater honor than you be a vessel for your will."

"You... want this?" The witch asked. She had never experienced anything like this before.

"More than anything, Miss." The girl nodded.

"And you're not afraid?"

She shook her head. "No, Miss. This one is eager and willing."

And the witch knew that her words were true, for she had asked for the truth, and her power ensured it. A new, strange feeling bloomed in her chest, filling her body with warmth.

"Then... look into my eyes, little one. Gaze, and be claimed."

She lowered her glasses.

And the girl stared, and felt herself sink further than she ever had. The world around her melted, for what took up her entire mind now was her world. Her Miss, whose power in full she at last was under.

The girl was washed away, revealing the true self, the doll, underneath.

The witch rarely leaves her home anymore. The people of the nearby town feel much safer, without her strange aura twisting their thoughts. In her place acted a doll, obeying the commands of its Miss.

And yet, the witch is happier than she's ever been.

She lets her eyes uncovered run over her devoted servant, issues commands in firm tones. Her heart sings, because she knows that the control she takes is freely given, and not cruelly stolen.

And both witch and doll finally, in each other's embrace, feel comfort.

#empty spaces #microfiction #hypnosis #shard's stories #dolls #witches #dollposting

[haesunflower]

zb1 as your classmates

genre: fluff, comedy

pairing: reader (gn) x all members of zerobaseone

about/tags: what i think zb1 would be like as a classmate

friendship vibes for most, some have romance, members that are classmates with each other are specified (regardless of age), inspired by a tweet i saw here, bullet points plot, lowercase intentional

⠀⠀ kim jiwoong ⠀⠀

everyone has a crush on jiwoong

even kids from other schools have a crush on jiwoong

but he's literally known to be unattainable

he always says that he likes someone else

you guys are so lowkey that no one knows that you two are in a relationship until the end of the school year

literally, the last subject of the last day

the teacher asked him to distribute the final graded tests to everyone in the class

the only reason people find out is bc as he's handing yours to you he accidentally says "congrats on the 99 babe"

you hear everyone in the room go "baBE????"

⠀⠀ zhang hao ⠀⠀

despite his quiet nature, hao is loved by a lot of people (teachers included!)

people trust him and they don't think he's capable of spilling any secrets

your friendship starts when he overhears you gossiping about some dumb relationship drama in the library

and hao interrupts you with a "no no no, THIS is what happened"

from then on you'd spend free period talking shit about people and gossiping about the drama that's currently circulating among the teacher crowd

he texts you sometimes with a "lol i just found something out, i'll tell you at school tom"

and you're always begging him to tell you now

but he insists that he doesn't want a digital footprint of it

you respond by sending him the dancing videos he has all over the internet

"digital footprint my ass, hao"

⠀⠀ sung hanbin ⠀⠀

he wakes you up every time you fall asleep during class

he tries to do it discreetly but because he sits in front and you directly behind him, it's quite obvious what he's trying to do

ends up drawing attention to you anyways

5 out of 10 times the teacher gets mad

hanbin always makes an "oops im so sorry" face

he lends you his notes for the classes you do sleep through tho

starts bringing you coffees from his cafe

from then on you are so so so productive

hanbin jokes that your grades are thanks to him

you agree

⠀⠀ seok matthew ⠀⠀

never brings his own things to school ever

sometimes he shows up with just a water bottle

and you're like?? where are your books? your pen?

every time he needs a pencil or eraser he turns around and asks if he could borrow yours

you have gotten so used to it that you end up preparing two of everything anyways

so whenever the teacher says "pop quiz bring out a sheet of paper", you're already passing him one before he even asks

you always get a ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ) from him which is "thank you" in matthew language

⠀⠀ kim taerae ⠀⠀

taerae is always humming in class

or like tapping his pencil against his desk

sometimes both

and it drives you insane

but every time you turn to your left to tell him to stfu

he kinda just smiles at you like ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

so you face front once again and mind your own business

taerae's humming ends up becoming your white noise

sometimes while studying at home, you find yourself missing it

⠀⠀ ricky ⠀⠀

he sits behind you so when he stretches his legs he sometimes accidentally kicks your chair or the things you have on the floor

you always turn around expecting him to ask you a question or smthn

but he just stares back at you in confusion??

one day you were brushing your hair during lunch break and you accidentally left your brush on his table instead of yours

you found him using it the next period before gently placing it back on your desk

he also says stuff like "you look dead today" and hands you a slightly tinted strawberry chapstick

matthew teases the both of you about your "indirect kiss" (chapstick sharing)

ricky tells him to grow up

but he's blushing lol

⠀⠀ kim gyuvin ⠀⠀

the both of you are literally always snickering

gunwook tells you guys to shut up at least 10 times a day

whenever he does that you both end up mocking his "be quiet" face

he drops things often too (calculators, books, his laptop - you name it!) and it makes a loud sound that resonates throughout the room

he also brings way too many snacks, his backpack is like 80% food and 20% school

he passes you notes when he's bored and it's usually dumb prompts like

"if you could turn all the people in this classroom into an animal, what would each person be and why?"

when you don't wanna respond he bribes you with a snack

you laugh at least once a day thanks to gyuvin

⠀⠀ park gunwook ⠀⠀

he's the class president and it's so annoying because he sits right next to you

you literally feel like you're being watched by a hawk 24/7

one time you forgot to do the homework and since there were only 2 minutes left til the bell rings, you think you're in the clear

but you see gunwook about to raise his hand and YOU JUST KNOW he's going to bring it up to the teacher

in an act of desperation you reach for his hand and hold it down chanting "gunwook no pls no pls no pls no pls" in your head

his mind short circuits and he doesn't know why you're holding his hand, but he just stares at it

that effectively distracts him until the bell rang

when class is over you remove your hands from his and go about your day

he's stuck thinking "so, what are we?" in his head

⠀⠀ han yujin ⠀⠀

most peaceful deskmate ever

when he comes back from family trips he always has a souvenir for you

you help each other with homework often too

in fact you're partners with him in just about every project

invites you over to his house to work on said projects together

his mom makes snacks for you guys

one day gyuvin tags along and is like how come there's so much food??? there's never any food when i'm here???

yujin's mom likes you the most, therefore feeds you the most

A/N: i didn't go to a high school with boys so i really don't know what it's like lol

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

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[arcadian-litterateur]

sick of kissing you in my head (when can it be real instead?) | modern au!gally x fem!reader

masterlist

summary: your boyfriend, gally, is across the country, and despite the struggles a long distance relationship can bring, your love is strong enough to carry you through the long distance season of your relationship. but spending your birthday without him is different than spending normal days separated, and you know deep down that nothing will make you happy on your birthday when he’s all you need.

word count: 8k holy—i really didn’t even realize how long this was till i checked the wc omg

warnings: emotional meltdown, mention of anxiety and anxiety meds, brief mention of panic attacks

a/n: hey guys! i love love love the song this is based off of: all i need (the distance song) by avery lynch. it's such a good song. this was supposed to just be fluff about visiting your bf gally, and then it turned into a whole thing lol. so yeah, i hope you guys enjoy this long ass one shot. i really really enjoyed writing it.

“𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦. 𝘪𝘧 𝘪 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪’𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥. 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥.”

𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 onto my side, legs brushing against my sheets, I smile at the FaceTime call on my phone, but it's bittersweet. On the other end of the video call sits my boyfriend, the soft smile on his face mirroring my own. From where he sits, I can see the San Francisco skyline out his hotel window, highlighted by the rising sun.

“I miss you,” I mumble, studying the lines and contours of his face and wondering if they've changed since the last time I saw him in person. If I've missed any change; any detail while we've been separated. If anything has changed or tipped the balance since we've been apart. 

I'm not insecure in my relationship with Gally, but be long distance for enough time and everyone gets in their head about it. Catches themselves wondering; doubting.

“I miss you more every time we have to part,” I add, watching the bitter take over the sweet in my boyfriend's eyes for a few seconds before he replies.

“I know, baby, I know.” His gaze wanders into the space between the atoms, his mind leaping forward into the future as he assures both me and himself, “Once my contract with WCKD Enterprises is up, I'll be able to move back to Denver. We'll be back in the same city.”

My smile is tired, only half there, and Gally knows it. It's been months since I've held him in my arms. This long distance routine is wearing us both out. We're both running out of steam—not for each other; not for our relationship, but for the complexity that being long distance has brought to our relationship. Conflicting schedules, spotty internet, the deprivation of physical contact with the person we crave it from the most…it's all beginning to pile up, and we both know it.

In an attempt to change the subject, I ask, “When is your flight back to Chicago again?” I already know, but I'm not sure what else to say, and besides, it's always good to check.

“Your birthday,” comes the cheeky reply, my eyes rolling of their own accord as I secretly admire the handsome grin on my boyfriend's face. But all too soon, his grin fades.

“I'm sorry I can't be there for your birthday,” he says gently. I wave him off, assuring him that I'll be just fine.

“Bren, Tes, and Sony are planning something. Won't tell me what, though.” I sigh before admitting, “It won't be the same without you. But your work's important.” Gally smiles gratefully, but there's cracks in the smile, and my stomach sinks. Guilt over my last comment settles in my digestive tract. “Sorry,” I mumble.

“No, no, don't apologize,’’ Gally says quickly. “You're allowed to be sad that I can't be there.” His amiable grin morphs into a scowl, “Tried to get Janson to give me the time off, I really did. But that rat wouldn't do it.” I give Gally what I hope is a reassuring smile.

“It's okay, babe.” We fall into silence, not necessarily comfortable, but not bad either, before Gally interjects,

“It'll be nice to be in my own apartment, though. I'm getting sick of all these Californian hotels. I'll be glad to be home, smog and noisy L-trains galore.” I chuckle, knowing that Gally loves Chicago because of its quirks, not in spite of them.

Still, Denver has always been home to me. But Gally and I've decided to cross that bridge when we get to it. We've got enough to think about as it is.

I'm trying to come up with another conversation topic, since I don't have work until later today, but unfortunately, Gally isn't so lucky. It’s the perks of working from home as a crisis hotline counselor, I guess. The hours aren’t as demanding, since the work itself is.

“Shoot, I have to go,” he hisses. “I'm sorry, princess. I'll call you tonight?” I nod, forcing myself to look forward to tonight's call, rather than be sad that this one is ending. “Alright, good that,” Gally grins. “I love you, babe!”

“I love you, Gal,” I smile and wave goodbye. The half-baked grin melts right off my face once he's hung up. Gosh, I miss him so much. 

There's only so much comfort a video call can give.

Teresa calls me soon after Gally hangs up, blabbering on and on about a date she'd had with some guy named Ben, but I can't focus on her stories like I normally would. Usually, I'm all in to hear my friend's tales, but my mind is still fixated on the miles separating Gally and I. Something in me wonders how much longer we'll be able to go without holding each other. How much longer we can stand to be separated.

When we first started dating, I could have gone months, as long as we were still interacting. But as my love for Gally increased, the length of time I could stand to be without him decreased. 

I'm fully, unashamedly in love with Gally now, and part of me wonders what I would do to be living in the same place as him. To be in his arms for good. The easy answer—the most raw answer—is anything. I'd do anything for him.

“(Y/N)?” Teresa's voice brings me out of my thoughts, her suspicious tone confirming that she's noticed my lack of focus today. “You weren't listening, were you?” To an outsider, her tone might sound harsh; reproachful, even, but I know her too well. She's not mad. Just annoyed she'll have to repeat her story if she wants me to hear it.

“I'm sorry,” I mumble, and it's sincere. I am sorry that I lost focus. But I don't apologize for pining after my faraway boyfriend. There's no reason to, for one, and two, I won't ever apologize for thinking of him. For missing him. 

Teresa is grinning at my distracted tone, I can tell. Even through the phone, I can tell. “You're good. Dreaming about your bae, aren't you?” 

I don't hesitate to admit, “Yes. I miss him more than I thought was even possible.” I hear Teresa's hum from the other end of the phone.

“You need to see him,” she declares. I scoff.

“Believe me, I know, and we're trying to figure out when he can next visit, but we're both just so busy.” Teresa clucks her tongue, the sound distorting oddly through the phone speaker. I imagine it running across the telephone poles, through the wires, twisting and bending and knotting out of shape as it flies all the way to me.

“I didn't mean like that, (Y/N). You need to go see him.” I chuckle, I wish I could.

“He's busy, Tes. Besides, he isn't even in Chicago right now,” I reason. This doesn't deter her.

“Well, when will he next be in Chicago?”

“His flight's on my birthday.” 

“That's perfect!” Teresa squeals. 

“How is that perfect?” I huff.

“You can fly out and spend your birthday with him! Surprise him!” 

I actually laugh at this. “Um, no, I can't. I don't have the kind of money to just throw down for plane tickets. Besides, weren't you, Brenda, and Sonya planning something?” 

“Well, yeah, but we could always change plans if we needed to,” Teresa says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. On any other day, I would entertain this kind of silly daydreaming, but today, I already felt lonely enough.

“Sorry, Tes. Those spontaneous decisions are not my cup of tea,” I sigh, and I think she can tell I'm shutting the conversation down. She lets it go, and I thank her silently, forcing the ache in my heart left by Gally's absence to venture to the back of my mind. If I waste the day away, it'll be evening again, and then he'll call, just like he said. 

And so despite the fact that I know wasting the days away is bad for me, I do it anyway. Just today, I tell myself. Just today.

Of course, I know I'll do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and all the hours in between my calls with Gally. It's ridiculous, how they all say having space helps one think clearer, when having space just distracts me by making me miss him that much more.

When he's gone, I'm reminded that much more that he's all I need.

_______________________________

𝗜𝗧’𝗦 𝗦𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 p.m. by the time Gally calls, his eyes lighting up when he sees me despite the exhausted, burnt out look on his face. I'm equally as ecstatic as he is to revel in the gaze of my lover, both of us simply brushing every inch of each other's faces with our eyes, memorizing each other for the millionth time. It won't be the last time, either. I could never get tired of scanning my gaze across his skin, memorizing every inch of his beautiful face. 

In our current situation, it's the closest I can get to kissing every inch of his beautiful face.

Gally is the first to break the silence, and I'm okay with it. He's the one who's had a long day. He knows what he needs to talk or not talk about. I just love hearing his voice. 

“How was your day, baby?” he asks, a tired sort of happiness seeping into his voice. Like I'm giving him some kind of rest just by smiling at him.

“It was good. Uneventful.” I shrug, knowing that I'd barely moved from the chair I occupied now. “The real question is, how was your day, my love?” 

Gally grins at the pet name. He always does. It's the same reaction that I have whenever he uses terms of endearment on me. It's our own personal love language of sorts. How many different ways can I call you mine?

“My day was okay,” Gally says quietly, sighing when he sees the look on my face. The one that tells him to lay it on me; rant if it'll make him sleep better tonight. “Well, it was…mediocre,” he amends, running a hand through his short hair. “Tim was being an ass. As always.” I nod sympathetically, understanding the deep hatred he harbors for his coworker.

Why Gally doesn't like Tim, I'm not exactly sure, but I know it has something to do with taking credit for a project that Gally did all the work on. It resulted in a harsh lecture from their boss for Gally, who was presumed to have slacked off, and a promotion for Tim. 

Anyone who knows Gally knows that he would never slack off. He takes duty and work seriously; more seriously than anyone else I've met, in fact. I know my boy. He wouldn't hurt his company's productivity, even if his boss is an asshole like Janson.

“I'm sorry Tim was giving you trouble, baby,” I croon, watching the aches and tension of the day seeping out of his stiff shoulders at the sound of my voice. His smile weaves its way back onto his face. It's a soft, vulnerable smile, the one that makes me want to take him in my arms and just hold him like the precious treasure he is.

“I wish I could hug you,” Gally groans, rubbing his chin with his fingers before trying to regain his composure. “Sorry…I don't mean to bring everything up again. I just…I just miss you.” My comforting smile wobbles, knowing that those same thoughts are eating away at me inside, but I bring the happy thoughts back to the surface and my grin rights itself.

“Soon, love, soon,” I murmur, knowing I can't truly promise anything with how busy our lives have become. But soon doesn't have a time slot or expiration date. I can promise soon and define it later. All I know is that it brings a smile to my boy's face, and that's what I need right now. 

We spend the rest of the night talking, lifted by the promise of Soon, love, soon, knowing that it could very well mean a long, long time. 

_______________________________

𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠𝗦 in my bedroom window, blinding me when my eyes flicker open. But once I blink away the black spots in my vision, I see that the sunlight isn't the only reason I was pulled from the comforting arms of sleep. 

Brenda, Teresa, and Sonya are standing at my bedside, my sheets in a bunched up ball in Sonya's hands. I groan, trying to roll away, but Bren, ever the fearless one, grabs my shoulder and pulls me back to face them.

“Get up, (Y/N). No spending the day moping,” she orders. I heave out an exaggerated sigh, making my body intentionally limp as Brenda and Teresa each grab one of my arms, pulling me upright until I have to support my own weight. 

“Sometimes I really regret giving you guys my apartment passcode,” I comment, leading Sonya to pinch my arm. I yelp, rubbing the red mark as I get manhandled out of my pajamas and into a new outfit by my best friends. “What—what are you crazies doing?” I splutter, quickly taking the pair of jeans from Teresa's hands before she can try to shove them on my legs, opting to put them on myself. 

“We aren't letting you mope around until Gally visits. Who knows how long that would be? It's not healthy,” Sonya explains, linking an arm through mine as the three girls drag me to the bathroom. Brenda shoves my toothpaste-loaded toothbrush into my hand as Tes starts pulling my hair brush through my hair.

“Ow,” I complain around a mouthful of toothpaste suds, pulling away from Teresa's assault on my tender scalp momentarily to spit. She and Sonya make quick work of my slightly frizzy hair, tag teaming it to create a fun yet elegant braid. 

“Beautiful,” Sonya sighs, leaning back to admire her handiwork. Brenda, on the other hand, seems to have some kind of mental checklist, full of all the tasks she must see me complete.

“Breakfast is next,” she commands, and I find myself being pulled into my kitchen, watching helplessly as my friends dive into making us a scrumptious, sugary feast.

I have to admit, the fluffy blueberry pancakes filling my stomach certainly make venturing out into the world much easier than I expected. I only feel the need to text Gally three times before leaving my apartment with my friends, rather than the usual five to ten. Whether these texts are to let him know I'm fine or to make sure he's fine, I've never been able to figure out. Maybe they're both. Either way, it's a good thing Brenda shoved my meds into my hand before breakfast. 

When I'm here alone, I don't take them. Sometimes I skip them on purpose, sometimes I just forget. But either way, I don't take my anxiety meds unless Brenda is there to shove them down my throat. Thinking about it, I'm grateful she's here to force me to take them today. With all of these mixed up feelings about being separated from Gally for so long, having more control over my anxiety will be good.

A day shopping with my best friends is a good distraction from the painful loneliness I've been feeling without Gally. It's not exactly a cure, but it's close. My friends know this; know their own limitations, and so they do the best they can.

And I'm so grateful that they've put in the time. Put in the effort. All for me.

“Thank you,” I whisper to them as we sit in our favorite coffee shop, sipping oat milk lattes. 

“Of course,” Brenda immediately responds.

“We love you,” Sonya adds.

“We know we aren't your boy,” Teresa chimes in, “but we're your best friends, and that means we stick by you. No matter what.” She leans over to rub my arm. “When you're down, I'm down. We wanted to help pick you back up.”

The smile on my face is genuine for the first time in a long time, knowing that my friends love me enough to support me despite having the knowledge that they can't give me everything I need. They give what they can, and accept me when it doesn't fix everything.

I haven't always had friends this good, and I look up at the sky, thanking the heavens that I've been blessed with such good friends now.

_______________________________

𝗧𝗪𝗢 𝗗𝗔𝗬𝗦 before my birthday, I can’t get Teresa’s half-joking, hare-brained idea out of my head. Realistically, I know that the likelihood that I could find a flight on my birthday to Chicago that isn’t full (or way too expensive) is slim. Realistically, I know that I don’t have the money for plane tickets right now. Realistically, I know that flying halfway across the country on a whim to see my boyfriend is ridiculous. 

But when Gally sends me his flight information, knowing I like to watch his progress and get confirmation when he lands safely, I find myself checking flights from Denver to Chicago, telling myself it’s just out of curiosity. Because what if there is a flight to Denver from Chicago on my birthday? What if there is a possibility that I could see Gally on my birthday? What if there is a chance that I could have this gift; the only one I truly want?

If there’s even a chance to see Gally on my birthday, I want to know. 

Gally’s flight information is pulled up on my phone, which is next to me on my desk as I scroll through flights on my laptop. My right thumbnail is between my teeth, bitten down to the quick and then some. It seems that flying is a popular travel option right now, as flights are filled even into places like Dawson County, Montana. Every flight I find from Denver to Chicago is either full or too expensive for someone just out of college, like me. The cheapest is $374, and I know rationally that blowing through that much money would be devastating for my finances. 

I swear under my breath, angry at myself for even getting my hopes up. It was a stupid idea to check the flights, and I find myself wishing I could go back in time to stop myself from looking. The disappointment grows even larger knowing that there would be a way to get to him if I wasn’t a broke post-college student making minimum wage in the Mile-High City. Then the disappointment and anger melt away, leaving me with a heart wrenching sadness that feels so empty and yet so all-consuming that I can’t help but break down into tears.

I don’t want to let myself cry about a silly daydream that was unlikely to happen anyway, but I’d let myself entertain the thought of seeing Gally soon; of holding him close and kissing him until we couldn’t breathe, and now everything else seemed pale in comparison. It wasn’t that my life had no purpose outside of him—I’d made it very clear when we started dating that the two of us needed to make sure we had lives outside of our relationship, too. But Gally had become a part of me; my favorite part of me, in fact. I was perfectly happy with the life I had, but Gally made it even sweeter. And knowing that sweetness was mine but was inaccessible made the absence of it even more palpable. Even more unbearable.

Crumpled into a heap on my floor with tears slowly leaking from my eyes is how Teresa finds me when she opens my door fifteen minutes later. “Hey, girl—” she calls before seeing me, rushing to my side with a worried, “Oh, my gosh, what’s wrong, (Y/N)?” I just shake my head, the waterworks turning back up to full blast.

“I miss him so much,” I sob as she gathers me in her arms, unable to care that I sound pathetic. 

“Oh, I know, darling, I know,” Teresa coos, rocking back and forth with my shaking body, whispering comforting words into my ears just like she always does when I get so worked up. My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath, hand flying up to wipe the snot from my nose, but of course, the minute it’s gone, more replaces it. I’m past the point of an easy calm-down, instead finding myself close to the edge of hyperventilating. Thankfully, Teresa isn’t a stranger to my emotional meltdowns, and she isn’t afraid of them, either. Instead, she’s the kind of friend who will take my hand and guide me through it.

“Did you take your meds this morning?” she asks cautiously, to which I shake my head in embarrassment. Tears are still pooling in the corners of my eyes as I manage to get out,

“I’m sorry.” 

Teresa just shushes me calmly. “Don’t apologize. It’s in the past now. I just wanted to know.” I nod shakily, the soothing pressure of her hand rubbing my arm helping me steady my breaths slightly. “What set you off?” she queries, squeezing me a bit tighter when the tears speed up again.

“I—I decided to check the flights for my birthday,” I answer, sniffling as my best friend strokes my hair lovingly. “It was stupid, because it just made me upset. They’re all too expensive, and I knew they would be, and it just made me miss him so much more.” Admitting it out loud makes me feel even dumber, the guilt creeping into my stomach. “I did this to myself,” I mumble. Subconsciously, my nails find their way to my arms, digging into the delicate skin and leaving pink crescents behind. Teresa pulls my hands away from my arms quickly.

“Stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. I would’ve done the same, (Y/N).” I know she’s trying to comfort me, but I just squeeze my eyes shut.

“Yeah, and it wouldn’t have caused you to end up on the floor like a pathetic child.”

“(Y/N)! Stop!” Teresa scolds me. “Stop with the negative self-talk.” I try to protest, but she fixes me with that no-nonsense look that can get anyone to agree to anything, and I find myself nodding meekly. “None of this is your fault. You’re in a difficult situation, being separated from your boyfriend, and your heart isn’t sure how to handle it. That’s okay. You don’t have to know how to handle it perfectly yet.” I sigh, leaning into my best friend’s shoulder, feeling slightly calmer now. She always knows the right words to say when I’m in too deep to think straight. 

Teresa coaxes me into the kitchen to drink hot chocolate once my breathing has steadied somewhat. She’s looking at me with an odd look that I can’t quite place, as if she’s…proud of me?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask warily over the top of my steaming mug. My best friend grins, staring at me for a couple more seconds before replying,

“You’re just, like, the strongest person I know.” My face turns what I assume is beet red at the compliment, not expecting such high praise from the woman who just held me in her arms as I sobbed like a baby. But then again, Teresa is special. She doesn’t judge based on outward appearances or impressions. She can see right into the heart of people, as if she can sense their goodness; their potential, and then she nudges them down that path. Helping them choose the sunshine. The good side. The light.

Knowing her compliment is slightly overwhelming, Teresa shrugs and changes the subject so fast I think I get whiplash. “You should call Gally,” she suggests. “Tell him that you were missing him and ask him for some love.” I cringe, turning away from her.

“I don’t want to make him feel bad that he isn’t here. I think I’ve already done that too much this week.” 

Teresa scoffs, “That’s nonsense. He’ll be happy that you reached out to him after your meltdown. He’ll be touched that you wanted to let him know how you’re doing. He’ll feel honored that you’re willing to be vulnerable with him.” I know deep down that she’s right; that the only thing he’d do is make me feel better. Never after calling Gally do I feel worse. I know I’m just scared to hurt him, but he always assures me that I don’t need to harbor that fear. I don’t need to hold onto that anxious voice in my head that whispers, You don’t deserve him.

I can even imagine him next to me if I try hard enough, murmuring, “You’re perfect, baby,” when I grow insecure. Whispering, “I’m so lucky to have you” in my ear when I doubt myself.

“Okay,” I agree, letting Teresa take my phone and FaceTime him. Despite the fact that it’s the middle of the work day, Gally picks up on the first ring, a concerned look decorating his handsome face.

“Teresa? Wha—” 

“She’s fine!” Teresa rushes to assure him, motioning for me to join her on the couch. I pop my head into the frame, wincing as I see how swollen and puffy my face is. Gally’s forehead immediately creases upon seeing me, obviously still worried when he sees the tear stains on my cheeks.

“Babe, are you okay?” he asks. Teresa silently asks if I want to take the phone, but I shake my head. My hands are still slightly shaky, and holding the phone is an added stressor. Teresa understands and angles the phone towards me.

“Yeah, I’m okay, don’t worry,” I whisper, my boyfriend’s shoulders relaxing only slightly. “I just had a bit of a meltdown. Teresa found me and helped me calm down.” Gally’s eyebrows soften, his mouth tilting down in a sympathetic frown.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “What happened?”

“I just miss you,” I mumble sheepishly after a second’s pause. It seems kind of silly once I admit it out loud, and I start to duck my face away when Gally gets my attention.

“Hey, (Y/N), (Y/N),” he says, waiting until I’ve turned back to him before continuing, “You don’t need to feel embarrassed. I miss you, too, okay? I miss you so much. You don’t need to feel ashamed for struggling.” He waits for me to respond, and I nod slightly. Truth be told, just hearing his voice has made me feel better; stronger. There’s something about his comforting, strong tone that soothes me. Just his voice can make me truly believe in myself. I swear, this man could make me believe anything as long as he says it aloud. 

“Thank you for picking up,” I smile, finding my mood lightening as a grin finds its way back onto his face. “Seeing you helped.” Gally blushes slightly, rubbing a hand along his chin.

“I’m glad I could help, baby.” Offscreen, someone gruffly commands him to get back to work, and he mutters an apology before turning back to the screen. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. But call me if you need anything, okay?” I nod, trailing my eyes over his freckles one more time as he thanks Teresa for taking care of me and then hangs up.

“It helped?” she asks, as if double-checking to make sure I truly am feeling better.

“Yeah,” I grin sheepishly. “You know what you’re talking about.” With a roll of my eyes, I joke, “You should be a counselor for a living. At this rate, you’re better than me at my own job!” Teresa just laughs.

“Well, now that you’ve cracked a joke, I know you’re feeling better.” She pulls me into a hug, and I gladly return it, silently wondering how I got blessed with such an amazing best friend.

“Hey, I’m here for you,” she reminds me one more time as she leaves, her meticulous check-ins a promise for the next few days.

“I know,” I assure her. “I promise I’ll call if I need to.”

“Good,” she says, smiling as she waves. “I love you, babes!” 

“I love you, too, Tes!” Feeling a bit lighter, I wave back as I close my front door.

_______________________________

“𝗜 𝗖𝗔𝗡’𝗧—I can’t take this,” I stutter the next day, wide-eyed at the wad of cash Teresa is currently shoving into my hands. Brenda and Sonya are flanking her on either side with looks that imply they’re attempting to telepathically convince me to take the money. 

“Yes, you can,” Teresa sighs exasperatedly. “Like I already told you, it’s the money we were going to spend on your celebration pooled together. But we all know you’d rather spend your birthday with Gally, and we want you to be able to, so we’re giving you the money for that plane ticket you couldn’t afford. It would be a waste to throw you a party you don’t want to be at. Helping you see your boyfriend is a much better use of that money. We all agreed.” Brenda and Sonya both nod, Teresa shoving the cash even further into my palms. I take it shakily, counting silently as I gape at them. “But—but this is nine hundred bucks! I can’t—I can’t take this, I’m sorry!” 

“Don’t be sorry!” Brenda sighs. “Just take the money! It’s our birthday present for you!” I look back and forth between my three best friends, realizing that there is no way they’re letting me reject the money. But it feels so weird having this many fifties weighing heavily in my grasp. 

“Please take it,” Sonya says softly, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “We want you to be able to go see Gally. We want you to enjoy this birthday. You’ll be giving a gift to us by making this impulsive choice to do what makes you happy.” My resistance gets melted away by her words, knowing that this was their tactic all along. Get (Y/N) all toughened up to the ‘just take it’ ruse and then let Sonya slip under her defenses when she least expects it. But I’m not annoyed by it. Instead, I let Teresa close my fist over the cash.

Immediately, the three start cheering, but before I can even blink, they’ve moved on from celebrating and are pushing me towards my laptop where, just as I’m sure Teresa suspected, the flights from Denver to Chicago are still pulled up. Teresa obviously asked Gally to share his flight information with her, because she seems to have it memorized as she scans the flights. 

“Alright, here’s the best one,” she announces after a few minutes of looking. “United, nonstop, leaving at 9:30 a.m. MT and arriving at 12:56 p.m. CT. It’s in the same terminal as Gally’s flight, and he lands at 2:23 p.m. CT, so that gives you a little over an hour to get to his gate and wait for him. Sounds good?” I nod wordlessly, still slightly in shock over the way my best friends have handled this so nonchalantly, as if their friend flying across the country on a day’s notice is just a normal part of their lives. 

Sonya pulls me towards my room as Brenda takes the stack of cash back from me, mumbling that Teresa insisted they have it for show but was just planning on Venmoing the cash to me. I laugh at our friend’s antics before following an impatient Sonya, who grabs my suitcase from my closet and starts making a list of what I should pack.

“We’re not buying you a return flight,” she explains, “because we didn’t know how long you’d want to stay, and we figured you didn’t know either. Just bring your work stuff and you can work from Gally’s apartment, and use the rest of the money to buy a return ticket when you decide to come back.” I shake my head in awe at the schemes of my friends, who have obviously thought of every single anxiety I could have because of this plan and have set out to refute them. 

With Sonya helping me pack, a task that would usually take me at least three hours, two cups of coffee, and a panic attack is done in under one hour, no coffee or panic attacks in sight. While I wouldn’t have minded the coffee, the no panic attack part is nice, and I decide I can live without those two cups of coffee if it means my peace of mind is intact. 

And the next morning when Teresa drops me off at the airport, my medicine taken and an ample breakfast eaten, the nervous butterflies in my stomach don’t feel scary. In fact, they feel almost…exciting. And I feel crazy for doing this; for flying halfway across the country to surprise my boyfriend so I can kiss him on my birthday, but I also feel so alive.

And today, the idea of living doesn’t seem as scary anymore.

_______________________________

𝗔𝗦 𝗜 wait at my gate and sip my Starbucks latte, I answer the countless birthday texts I have already received, smiling at the overflow of love from people I talk to everyday and people I barely even know. It’s funny, knowing that there are people out there who remember my birthday but don’t talk to me otherwise. Some might feel disheartened at the idea, but I just giggle quietly to myself, wondering if I’m going crazy for feeling so lighthearted. 

Maybe it’s the adrenaline, I think to myself. The adrenaline from doing something so stupid and yet so exciting. Shrugging to myself, I take another large gulp of coffee, finally getting to the text from Gally. I saved it for last, knowing it would be the best one. And sure enough, as I read the message, I feel happy tears pricking my eyes. As always, he’s sweet; sappy, even, but his message also holds the serious intensity that he always has around him. It’s like an aura, telling those around him that he does everything fully and completely, never giving only half of his effort. That intensity is probably why I love reading texts from him over and over. Even if it’s a simple good morning, his texts always seem to scream I love you from between the lines.

I text Gally back, thanking him for the love he’s sent zipping along telephone lines, across the country and all the way to me. I suck the last dregs of liquid from my Starbucks cup, finally accepting that the beverage is gone as the gate attendant calls for Boarding Group 1. I find myself bouncing from foot to foot, realizing once again that I’m really doing this. I can’t bring myself to sit down as I wait for my group to be called, instead standing by the gate’s charging station, fidgeting like I’m about to run the 100 meter dash. By the time I’m boarding, I’m breathing heavily like I just sprinted up Pikes Peak. Whether from nerves or excitement, I can’t really tell, but it’s enough that the flight attendant touches my arm as she checks the cabin. 

“Ma’am, are you okay?” I look up in surprise before giving her a quick grin. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just nervous.” 

She smiles empathetically. “Is it your first time flying?”

“No. I’m flying out to surprise my boyfriend, and I guess I’m just hoping it all works out like I planned,” I explain. 

At this, I receive an even bigger grin from the flight attendant, who thinks that is just—“the most adorable thing ever!” I nod along, unsure whether I’m actually smiling or just masking my anxiety. Either one is a plausible explanation, and I’m pumped so full of adrenaline that all of my emotions currently feel interchangeable. 

I spend the entirety of take-off nervously fiddling with the little screen in front of me, trying to distract myself. Once we’re at a constant altitude, the flight attendants offer drinks, and I ask for a ginger ale, my go-to drink on airplanes. It calms me down, the comforting security of it helping me stay rational. Unfortunately, the ginger ale combined with my anxious thoughts cause my bladder to reach its limit quite quickly. 

I hate the little bathrooms on airplanes. So loud, so claustrophobic, so turbulent. It’s like trying to pee while in the middle of an earthquake. But my bladder isn’t playing games today, and the last thing I want to do is ignore it and then pee myself. The intrusive thoughts fight to take over as I rush through the motions, washing my hands as quickly as possible, but I stave them off and make it back to my seat in one piece.

The remaining hour until landing is the longest hour of my life.

When we finally touch down and taxi to our gate, all of the tension that has built up inside me feels ready to explode, but I hold it in, knowing that I can let it all out once I see Gally. It’s barely even occurred to me that I’m a year older now—that it’s my birthday—because all I can think about is getting to hold my boy. 

I almost trip getting off the plane, too busy checking his flight’s progress and landing gate. His flight is still an hour and thirty minutes out, giving me more than enough time to go to the bathroom, get some food, and wait for him. I pull my suitcase behind me, so glad I decided to take everything in my carry-on, as I’m now realizing that baggage claim is outside the secure area of the airport. I break free from the flow of traffic heading in that direction, redirecting towards the bathroom.

One bathroom trip, makeup refresher, and food court scavenger hunt later, I’m standing against a column at Gally’s gate, drinking my second Starbucks latte of the day. Normally, I wouldn’t let myself indulge like this, but it’s my birthday, so I feel justified. I even treat myself to a slice of sweet bread, too. I’m too anxious to eat a full lunch. Besides, I’m sure Gally will be happy to get lunch on our way back to his apartment. He’s always willing to eat, no matter the time of day.

I’m trying my best not to look suspicious. There’s a flight leaving from this gate after Gally’s flight arrives, so I blend in, but my leg is bouncing nervously and my hands are shaking slightly. I’m a naturally energetic person, but the fidgeting increases exponentially when I’m either excited or nervous. Right now, I’m both.

Thankfully, no one seems to notice me or think I’m behaving weirdly. I’m simply overthinking, like I often do. At least it passes the time. I only have thirty minutes left to wait.

I run back to Starbucks and buy another latte. It’s gone within ten minutes, my anxious energy prompting me to gulp it down like I’m dying of thirst. Then I’m running to the bathroom again, bladder shouting angrily at me for the caffeine abuse I’ve been subjecting it to. It’s unpleasant, but it kills more time. 

Ten minutes to go. I’m staring at my phone, Gally’s flight details pulled up, reloading the page over and over in hopes that magically, they’ll teleport and be here instantly. With anyone else, I wouldn’t be this obsessive; impatient, but it’s Gally. I could obsess over Gally for days on end with all the love overflowing from my heart. So I pass three minutes refreshing the page persistently, watching the minutes countdown.

I let out a quiet, barely there gasp when my phone screen tells me he’s landed. I can barely contain my excitement, nervous energy causing me to wiggle my hips like a rhythmically challenged dancer. His plane is on the ground, taxiing over, right to where I’m waiting. He’s going to walk through that gate, and I’m going to see his beautiful face, and I’m going to run and jump into my boyfriend’s arms.

All of a sudden, doubt crashes into me like a fucking tidal wave. What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if this is weird, and he’s going to be all awkward about it? What if this was one huge fuck-up? I can feel myself starting to spiral, starting to lose touch with the confidence I’ve been channeling all day. The panic has started to grow, and it surges through my veins, reaching to the tip-top of the cliff that is followed by a plunge off the deep end. Thankfully, though, with only a few minutes to spare before my boyfriend gets off his plane, a little girl in a princess dress bumps into me, hard, causing my knees to buckle and my head to snap out of the spiral it’s in. 

I catch myself against the trusty column I’m leaning against, looking down to find a young girl, maybe six, wearing an Elena of Avalor dress-up costume with a stuffed animal that looks like some kind of leopard with bird wings. 

“Amity!” her mother scolds her, ordering her to apologize for bumping into me. Amity looks up at me with big, brown doe eyes and a huge, genuine grin.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am,” she chirps. I smile back, making eye contact with her mom, before crouching down to her level and holding out a hand to shake.

“I forgive you. I’m (Y/N). Want to know something?” Amity shakes my hand, grinning widely, before looking at her mom as if to make sure it’s okay to talk to me. Her mom gives a gentle nod, a kindness in her eyes as they meet mine. “Well, Amity, you actually helped me just now. I was feeling super duper nervous and it was making me get shaky and worried. But then you bumped into me, and I saw your smile, and it made me feel a lot better!” 

I can tell Amity’s mother is touched, and I make sure to assure her that I’m doing better. That Amity’s little scuffle with my legs was truly helpful. And then Amity and her mom are on their way, Amity’s tight hug and whisper of “You look like a princess” giving me the last boost of confidence I need.

Right as I finish waving goodbye to the adorable little girl, I hear the sounds of passengers starting to come down the jetway. I suck in a sharp breath, making sure my small suitcase and jacket are safe by the column before stepping closer to the junction between gate and jetway, watching passengers closely as they start to trickle into the airport. 

It’s no surprise that I can pick Gally out of the crowd immediately after he walks out of the jetway, his head easily peeking over every other passenger. He doesn’t see me at first, focused on trying not to trample the small toddler whose family is trying desperately to get him to behave as they walk in front of my boyfriend.

I wait until he’s right there, just the toddler’s family in front of him, to call his name. “Gally!” His head snaps up, eyes scanning the surrounding area before settling on me, his jaw going slack, falling open in surprise as the toddler’s family quickly moves out of the way. 

It’s like we’re living in slow motion, the way I watch Gally’s backpack slide out of his hand and hit the floor with a thump, his look of shock morphing into a state of joyous disbelief, as if he’s not sure he’s truly seeing me. He looks frozen in this state, unable to move towards me, but I don’t care. I’m already running up to him, happy tears gathering in my eyes as I jump into Gally’s arms, my head burying itself in his neck before I lean up to kiss him with all the pent-up love, tension, and nerves that have been coursing through my body all day.

His lips are warm just like they always are, soft and full and inviting as we kiss passionately; shamelessly, right in front of everyone waiting to board their flight. I can’t bring myself to care, anxiety nowhere to be found now that I’m here. In his arms. Held tightly, kept safe, flooded with warmth, just like I’m supposed to be. 

He pulls away first, still in shock as he scans my face, as if expecting to find some imperfection that reveals me as a doppelganger. “Baby—” he chokes out, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes, my own tears rolling down my cheeks. “Baby, you’re here.” He lets out a giddy, confused laugh, cupping my cheek with his hand as he wipes the remnant saltwater away with his thumb. 

“You’re—you’re here. In Chicago,” he repeats, putting my feet back on the floor so I can stand there with my arms around his neck, his other hand coming up to cup my other cheek. “You’re—it’s your birthday!” he says, and I can’t tell if it’s another reason he’s confused I’m here, or if it’s just an observation. Well, probably both, so I just giggle.

“Yes, Gally, it’s my birthday.” 

“But—did you—when did you get here?” he asked, bewildered, a lovestruck, excited smile lighting up his whole face. I run my hands through his hair, admiring his gentleness as he cradles my face in his palms.

“An hour and a half ago, I think. I’m not sure the exact timing,” I shrug. He gasps.

“You flew on your birthday?” I give him an odd look. 

“Yes…why? Is that illegal or something?” Gally chuckles through the joy-filled tears still drifting down his face every once in a while.

“No, baby. I just thought—most people wouldn’t be willing to fly or even be at an airport on their birthdays. Don’t you have cool stuff to do? Fun people to see?” I shake my head, pulling him as close as I can, our lips hovering inches apart. 

“You’re the only person I wanted to see. This is my birthday present.”

Gally’s eyes water even more as he presses his forehead to mine, running his hands through my hair. “Baby, I—” He pulls away to wipe a tear from his eye and then leans back down, pressing a gentle peck to my forehead, “I love you so much.” 

“I love you even more, Gally,” I whisper back, staring into his teary eyes with my watery own. He chuckles, shaking his head.

“Not possible.”

“It is, too,” I giggle, still whispering as I press a kiss to his lips, “and I’m the birthday girl, so you have to let me win the arguments today.” 

“Oh, that’s how that works,” Gally laughed, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Well, I suppose I can let you win this one, since you did fly all the way to Chicago on your birthday.”

“Oh, but that was selfish,” I smiled. “I wanted to see you. I needed to see you. It was purely selfish.” Gally just hugged me tighter, pressing kisses to the top of my hair as he admitted quietly,

“Well, I needed to see you, too. I needed to have you in my arms.” I relax into the warmth of my boyfriend’s chest, the material of his hoodie tickling my nose. I endure it because it smells like him, and that makes it the most calming aroma in the world. 

“Being in your arms is all I need. You are all I need,” I whisper. 

I kiss him again, a loving, sweet kiss, reveling in the presence and taste of my boyfriend, a sense of peace and safety wrapping its warm arms around me. 

Nothing else matters in this moment. Not my job, or my life in Denver, or my birthday. All that matters is that I am here, in my boyfriend’s arms. In Gally’s arms.

Right where I’m supposed to be.

the end

#fanfiction #one shot #fluff #the maze runner #gally #gally tmr #tmr gally #the maze runner gally #gally the maze runner #gally one shot #gally imagine #gally fluff #gally maze runner #gally x reader #modern au!gally #fem!reader #gally x y/n #gally x you #avery lynch #all i need (the distance song) #tmr one shot #tmr imagine #tmr fluff

[konigsblog]

That mlmxreader blog also keeps claiming that you're sending your followers to go attack them and send death threats. They do a lot of arguing that your dark fic is not real dark fic and that you're purposely trying to trigger and retraumatise them - is what I gathered looking at a couple posts...

I think that for one, there are definitely writers who do romanticise some topics unhealthily with things such as rape/assault/torture, but I don't think you're one of those people? Like you frequently tag and keep stating that what you're writing is fiction, it's fantasy.

On that note, they keep trying to argue that CNC is the more "moral" kink to be writing vs. rape. I honestly think that rape fantasy is something people do fantasize about and can sometimes just not be CNC (bc they keep trying to pin it back to that kink). It's the fact that there's no established relationship and discussion like in most BDSM pairings where they talk about rape play. At the end of the day, you tag your works properly. I don't see much issue with writing what you want when you make sure to tag (which you do!) and are aware the subject you're writing about and its usual connotations (which you're also aware!). People can be mad and uncomfortable, but at the end of the day it's them who chose to keep talking about it. I think people need to get used to being uncomfortable on the internet. This is not a new concept and nobody here is a "hero" for anything.

Sorry I just paraphased some posts and asks with some of my own thoughts on it!

i mean, my content is supposed to be dark, it's dark content for a reason, and i'm not describing these characters to be standard; i'm writing them manipulative, vindictive, depraved, ect. i do appreciate you, anon, as you weren't rude, and instead polite. i appreciate it, my dear! 💗

i don't really care about this whole thing, but something i have never said was to send death threats. now, we don't know if they're lying – they could be – but, if they aren't, stop. i didn't tell anyone to send death threats, because i don't condone that. aside from death threats and mocking someone's trauma, i seriously don't care what you want to do. whether you don't block them, block them, whatever, they've made multiple posts directly insulting me in weird ass ways, so i couldn't really care about their immature opinion.

i'd like to point out something they said though, kinda funny, considering they've mentioned me multiple times outside of their callout post. they said they made ONE post about me with examples, that would be their callout post. but, they're not counting how they're talking about me in response to anons, or how they're mentioning me in their hashtags. it's childish. yes, you 100% have the right to not enjoy a certain kink/coping mechanism (because funnily enough, people use different ways to copes) but it's immature to name people, talk about how what i'm doing is "disgusting" or how i'm a "vile cretin" (like what lmfao 😭)

here's some screenshots of what i'm talking about when i say they've even insulted me, or made comments. this is 4/11 screenshots.

and comparing my supporters to an iof soldier... 😬 wtf is wrong with you? that's disgusting.

now, if anyone sends this to @mlmxreader, go ahead and let them know that they're not the centre of the world, them multiple posts taking about me and insulting me is immature on their end.

#call of duty modern warfare #cod fandom #cod #call of duty

[fatphobiabusters]

Kind of nervous to ask this but I'm curious. What would you consider to be fat? I have always had body issues around my stomach and weight generally, I am about 80kg and 5'8. People often treat me as "larger" but I wouldn't say I've been called fat to my face many times. I generally wear clothes that hide my body /are oversized because I'm transmasc and I don't want to accentuate my chest anyway. I fit into UK size 14-16 which is about a US 10-12. I usually wear mens clothes though so about a 36 x 32 in trousers. Plus size generally starts at 16 so by that metric I would be plus sized in the UK but not in the US. Its confusing, man, I'm confused.

I'm obviously anti-fatphobia either way, I just don't want to say that I'm fat if that takes away from people who are larger than me or is dishonest to the consensus view of what is considered fat. Sorry if this is a weird question, I've just seen people talking about smaller people calling themselves fat as a bad thing so I don't want to be that person.

Hi!

This isn't a weird question, don't worry. A lot of people have your exact question. Honestly, fatness is slightly subjective. So there's not exactly a definitive "You must be this tall to ride" situation. Some people go strictly by clothing size, but that isn't always a reliable answer because there are definitely short fat people who don't wear plus sizes, and there are thin people who do (which is why so many "plus size models" don't look fat. They just happen to fit the clothing despite not having a fat body type).

There's also different categories of fatness, so it's possible you're fat but considered small fat. Another factor is how there are some people who are neither thin nor fat, which is called mid-size. You sound like you may possibly be mid-sized from how you described yourself. Mid-sized people do not endure the same degree or types of discrimination necessarily as fat people, but mid-size people do still endure discrimination and some lack of thin privilege.

In high school, I was mid-size myself, and it was definitely a situation of "I'm not as hated as fat people, but I'm also clearly separate from actual thin people." And if my metric conversion is correct, I think I was about your weight and height after I had extremely starved myself to get to that point of definitely mid-sized. One factor though is that, even at my thinnest points in life, I have always had a fat face and fat limbs, so I generally looked bigger regardless of my exact weight due to the fat distribution of my body. So that being said, I can't tell you whether or not you're fat, and honestly no one on the internet really can.

I also personally believe that if you're calling yourself fat because your body is at that subjective range and you identify as fat, then that's okay. Someone who's on the edge of mid-size and fat calling themself fat in a genuine, self-identification way is way different than a thin person calling themself fat as an insult because they believe fat people are bad. And no matter what, I'm glad to have you as part of this activism movement!

-Mod Worthy

#hotcryptidsummer #ask #fat liberation #Mod Worthy

[filthyjoetini]

Stumblin' In

a/n: Well...it's been...a while. heh. Sorry. I've been going through a lot. On here (the accusations...) as well as in life. Latter keeps me busy to no end. It's exhausting...but I'm back. beta-reader, editor, partner in crime: @barfightzanddiscolightz

warnings: mentions of previous injury, rpf, fem!reader, cuteness overload

wordcount: 2.2k

part 1 - part 2 - part 4

Part 3

You let yourself fall face down on the sofa with a loud sigh. The last few days had been nothing short of exhausting. Your back and neck still hurt, and the concussion had caused some nightmarish migraines that had left you unable to work. So, you spent your days in your dark living room, accompanied by your two cats, Freya and Kiro. Freya, a chubby lady with a moustache who you had had to put on a diet, was sitting on the back of your sofa, silently judging you. Kiro, your long-haired void of a cat, sat next to you, purring in your ear.

When you had come home from the hospital almost a week ago, they had greeted you with loud, screaming meows as if they had been starving. Your dad had been looking after them, cuddling them and feeding them generously. You also knew that he had given each of them a little treat every time before he left. So much for starving. Total drama queens - Both of them. But that's just Freya and Kiro, you wouldn't trade them for any other cats in the world.

Today had been your first day back at work and you wished you hadn’t gone. Your migraines had stopped the day before, but your body was still killing you. Groaning, you pushed yourself up to sit properly on your sofa, your legs sprawled out on its long chaise longue. You took a blanket from the basket beside it and pulled it neatly over your legs. Kiro immediately took this as an invitation to plop down between your legs. You were about to open one of your newly ordered books when your phone buzzed. A new message.

Huffing annoyedly, you picked up your phone from where it lay beside you to check who had the audacity to disturb your precious reading time.

It was Joe. Forgotten were your pain and shitty mood.

He hadn't texted you in days and, not wanting to appear desperate, you hadn't texted him either. That's just the way you were, constantly thinking that you were annoying people with your presence.

Pushing the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and grinning to yourself, you quickly unlocked your phone and read his message.

Bambi on ice! How are you?

You rolled your eyes at his new name for you. You got it, you're a klutz.

Hello to you too, Joe... I'm fine. How are you?

I'm good. Very busy. That's why I haven't texted you the last few days. I'm sorry about that.

Oh... you don't have to apologise. It's fine.

No. I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I'm working abroad at the moment, and I only have internet when I'm back in my temporary home. And then I get flooded with messages and things to check as soon as my phone connects to the internet. I didn't mean to forget about you.

You read the last sentence he wrote not once, but twice... no screw it, five times. You'd be lying if you said it didn't affect you. The slight pink tint to your cheeks betrayed you and you were glad no one was around to point it out. You had to change the subject. This is too much lovey-dovey bullshit. You were not ready for this... yet.

How are you supposed to do your hacking without internet? Must be difficult.

Perfect.

All Joe did was send a series of eyeroll emojis that made you giggle.

It's a top-secret mission, you know. We're doing it the old-fashioned way. Infiltrate and then destroy. 😉

All right there, soldier. Top secret. Got it.

But I'll be back in four days!

Amazing! Quick in and out then?

Yeah...something like that. Hey... I was wondering if you were up for that date you owe me when I get back?

You stared at his question and the blush crept back into your cheeks. Here you were again. Back to the subject you had hoped to avoid, at least for a little while longer.

While you had agreed to go on a date with him, your motivation was more to please him and get off the hook so you could get inside your house. You were knackered and just wanted to rest. Days had passed, and you had been beating yourself up about agreeing. You weren't dating at the moment. You found contentment in the way your life was going. Nevertheless, you had promised him, and breaking a promise was not your style.

Swallowing hard, you let your fingers tap out your response.

Sure! Just let me know when and where and I'll be there 😊

Great! Can't wait!

Me either!

Listen, I gotta go now. Duty calls! Text soon?

Of course! Good luck with your mission.

Thanks! Bye, darling xx

Bye Joe xx

---

Fuck. You had an official date. With Joe. You needed to tell a certain someone.

"Brother in Christ. How are you?"

Of course, your best friend would pick up like that. You pushed yourself up a little, which made your legs move, much to Kiro's displeasure. The cat glared at you, and you quickly apologised with a kiss to his head.

"I'm fine...guess what!", you tried her, gnawing on your bottom lip.

"You finally managed to put your summer clothes in the basement?" she guessed.

"Well, yeah...but that's not what I wanted you to guess.", you snorted and then blurted it out: "I-have-a-date."

"What?"

"I HAVE A DATE!”, you repeated, almost shouting. Since your neighbours were all half deaf anyway, you didn't care that you had just raised your voice.

“Ouch, don’t yell at m- WAIT! You?! Have a date?!”, she sputtered.

"Yes!”, you replied in a breezy voice.

"With who?"

"Joe.", you replied so quietly that she almost didn't hear it, but her gasp gave her away.

"Joe. As in 'your knight in a beige cable-knit jumper'-Joe?"

"Yes!”, you squeaked out, earning a glare from both your cats.

"Holy shit, babes! This is like one of those romance films we sometimes watch on film night.”, she gushed, clearly very excited for you.

"Ugh, yeah. I know.”, you groaned. "I need your help. I don't have anything to wear!"

"Lies! Your wardrobe is bursting at the seams."

Which was true, but she didn't have to expose you like that.

"I know. Can you help me put together an outfit? I will repay you fabulously!"

"Ahhh... just deduct it from the mountain of drinks-debt I owe you. I'll be there in 20 minutes!"

"Wait! The date's not even se-", you started, but she had already hung up. Typical her.

18 minutes later your doorbell rang and there she stood in all her 'hair in a messy bun, oversized jumper, leggings with a questionable stain and the oldest trainers she could find' glory. Her face was sporting a huge grin.

"You look absolutely insane." you pointed out as soon as you opened the door, chuckling. She snorted and pushed past you, heading for your room. You quickly followed, knowing full well that without you, she'd start pulling out pieces of clothing from your closet and throwing them on your bed.

---

She had been rummaging through your wardrobe for almost two hours now and had mentioned that you had 'too many things' at least 20 times, accompanied by an eyeroll, whilst you made yourself comfortable on your bed. Your cats had decided to join you for a while, but the mess she was making was too much for them and they went back to the living room.

She was standing on one of the shelves in the closet, trying to get to the top shelf. It was the most hilarious thing you had ever seen, you had to snap a picture. Without thinking, you sent it to Joe.

Who’s that?

My best friend. She’s a madwoman.

I can see that, and I see how she’s your bestie. You both like to put yourselves in dangerous situations. I bet she’s pulled a Humpty Dumpty before as well.

You snorted at his text, earning a raised eyebrow from your friend who was still standing in your wardrobe. When she saw you were on your phone, she gasped and jumped out of the wardrobe. She quickly made her way over to you.

"Who are you texting?", she demanded, her eyes narrowing.

"Nobody."

"Bullshit.”, she claimed, holding out her hand to you. "Give me the phone."

"No.”, you giggled, trying to crawl away from her, but to no avail. She was very quick and snatched the phone out of your fingers. Her eyes went wide.

"BITCH! Stop sending pictures of me to your boyfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!", you argued, snorting and laughing at the face she was making.

"He better be after your date...", she muttered, tossing your phone back at you, which you almost caught with your face. "I've got your outfit."

With a huge grin, she walked back over to your wardrobe and picked up a few stray clothes. Then she laid them out orderly on your bed. It was perfect. Totally you. Totally the opposite of Joe. You'd stick out like a sore thumb.

“Thanks babe.”, you smiled, pushing yourself off the bed and engulfing her in a tight hug.

"Anytime, love.”, she grinned into your hair and returned your hug with an even tighter one.

"Coffee and biscuits?", you asked her as you pulled away and her face lit up all over again. She didn't even answer your question but ran off to the kitchen.

"You better have chocolate chip cookies!", you heard her yell, knowing she'd already opened your cupboard where you stored your sweets. When you heard her excited squeak, you knew she had found them. Shaking your head at her antics, you made your way to the kitchen to join her. You wouldn't trade her for anything in the world, either.

---

When your best friend left, it was already dark outside. You opted for a light dinner which consisted of a piece of sourdough bread, half a tomato, a handful of shredded cheddar cheese and three green olives. Everything was neatly arranged on the plate. Girl Dinner was served.

Walking over to the sofa to read for the second time that evening, you placed your plate on the small table in front of it, sat down and draped a blanket over yourself. Picking up the plate, you leaned back against the headrest and popped an olive into your mouth. Freya and Kiro soon joined you and tried to beg you for some of the sourdough. Kiro was particularly persistent, but so were you. When they finally realised you weren't going to give in, Kiro trotted off to sulk under one of your chairs and Freya retreated to her place on the headrest.

You were just about to open your book when your phone again alerted you to a new message. Thinking it was your best friend letting you know she had gotten home, you leaned forward to grab your phone. But it wasn't your best friend. Joe had texted you again.

Did you have dinner?

Uh... yeah. Why?

Oh, just checking. What are you doing?

I wanted to read, but a certain someone keeps interrupting.

Oh! My apologies. What are you reading?

This. *attachment*

Ooh. This looks interesting. What's it about?

Instead of telling him, you took a picture of the summary on the back.

It sounds very interesting. I'll stop bothering you now. Go read!

You're not bothering me, Joe.

Your last message stayed unread, and you frowned at your phone. After a couple of moments, you put your phone aside and finally started reading where you had left off.

---

You were about to take a sip of the tea you had made yourself an hour into reading when your phone beeped again. You wondered who it was. It certainly wasn't your best friend. She had let you know that she had arrived home shortly after Joe had dropped the conversation. You had a hunch, though.

Turning your phone around, you saw that Joe had sent you a picture. With a gentle tap to the screen, you enlarged the photo. It was a book, but not just any book. It was the same book you were reading. Smiling to yourself, you tapped on the picture again and added a heart reaction to it.

Then another message from Joe.

Now we can have our own little book club.

Those nine words instantly made your heart flutter.

Just the two of us?

Yep.

Count me in...

Brilliant! I was hoping you'd say yes. It'd be a shitty book club if I was on my own.

Yep. The discussions would be very one-sided.

And boring. OK, I'll let you read. I'm sure you're way ahead of me. I just got it and I gotta catch up so we can discuss it on our date.

I'd love that. Talk later?

Of course we will. Happy reading! Bye, darling xx

You too! Bye Joe xx

Grinning from ear to ear, you put your phone down and picked up your book up again. You’d never been happier that you had so mindlessly agreed to a date before.

---

Taglist:

@ohmeg @daleyeahson @lma1986 @palomahasenteredthechat @mandyjo8719 @aysheashea @littledemon-lilith @freakymunson @sidthedollface2 @i-wont-run-this-time @miserybeans @kylakins88 @thehillzhaveeyez @punctualhowell @icallhimjoey @ghostinthebackofyourhead @siriuslysmoking @cancankiki @definitionwanderlust @1paire2vans @theonewiththecrackedmind @fromasgardandback @captainonaboat @josephquinnsfreckles @emilyslutface @alessxa

there's still some spots left on the taglist :)

#joe quinn #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fanfic #joseph quinn fanfiction #joe quinn fanfic #joe quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn x reader #joe quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x fem!reader smut #joseph quinn x you #joe quinn x fem!reader smut #joe quinn x reader #joe quinn x you #rpf fic #rpf #rpf fanfiction #my loves

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I love A-Town so fucking much it's the best idea ever

The last post got me curious, how much did marco and the others let slip about all the wacky scifi stuff that happened to them? Seeing randos online speculate about something weird marco said would be hilarious

See, I feel like Marco would be the kind of person who both can't resist telling a good story, and can't resist an opportunity to troll. So interviews with him would probably be 80% "tells a true story but in such a way it sounds fake", and 20% "ask a rude question, get a nonsensical answer." A lot of:

Interviewer: Are there any animals you regret not morphing?

Marco: Brontosaurus.

Interviewer: ... Bronto. Saurus.

Marco: It was right there! We could've walked up and petted it, I don't care if it was a baby, it was still really cool, but noooo, the tyrannosaur had to come along and eat it.

Interviewer: Are you... implying that you were in the same place at the same time as a brontosaurus? How?

Marco: The U.S. should really be more careful about how it stores its nuclear weapons. If you think about it, an accident like this was bound to happen.

Interviewer: I'm sorry, what?

Marco: See, we're in the ocean — this was after the time with the talking whale, but before that time we found Atlantis — 

Interviewer: Okay, okay! Let's talk [looks at cue cards] diet and exercise! Lots of skintight clothes on your team, huh?

Marco: Fourteen-egg omelette, every morning. Side of steak. Same for lunch, same for dinner.

Interviewer: Well, uh, you look great?

Marco: I haven't pooped in six months. Pooping is for the weak.

Anyway, you're probably also right that they'd be subject to internet speculation about their lives, but that's way too depressing to contemplate so I prefer not to.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #marco animorphs #did brontosaurus exist in 1998? for that matter did it in ~2003? i can't tell from quick search #seems to go in and out of existence a lot #and the long-necked baby dino they see in mm2 never actually gets named (presumably because tobias is elsewhere)

[moonyinpisces]

re: your last post, i would really love to get this ask answered but i can understand if you don't (and i definitely do not expect this to be answered publicly), but is there a post that i can read in which you've explained your "love and sex are connected" stance? i ask because i'm so curious to read your thoughts about it, coming from someone who agrees with that thought, i'm just curious about the specifics of what do you mean when you say that (for example: does that mean that by definition asexual love is platonic and not romantic? is there space for asexuality or aromanticism in this idea? i think that love and sex are connected and that there still are people who are asexual and can have partnerships, so that's why i was curious about more details on that).

sorry for bothering you and thank you in advance if you answer my question 🩷

you're totally fine! i hope it's cool i answered it publicly, i think it's a topic that a lot of people shy away from. luckily, i have little to no self preservation. i'll just re-explain my stance here 👇

i think just inherently, if we call a piece of media a love story it implies sex. this is a fact no matter how deep you worm your way into internet culture and try to convince yourself otherwise. now that doesn't mean sex is going to happen, or even be mentioned--that has to do with the rating/presentation of the media, not the media itself (one time almost a year ago i mentioned this same topic and someone specifically cited the little mermaid as ace rep. and i was like in the sequel they... literally have a child? and then the person blocked me lol)

now can love be platonic? absolutely. can people have love for others and not want to fuck them? yeah, i would say a majority of love experienced globally is the platonic/familial sort lol. but a love story is only platonic if it's designated as platonic, meaning that at its root, the implication is sex. if i want to divorce sex from the romance, i have to explicitly define it as such. meaning if we call, for example, good omens a love story, that implies sex and sexual attraction unless the canon ever explicitly tells us differently. a love story includes sex unless it can prove it doesn't, that's just... the nature of being a human being living in a human society lol

and i think that's a scary concept to people who have labeled themselves as sex-repulsed without digging into WHY they feel that way in the first place. but i think further than that people are too bogged down in connecting their identities with fiction to the point that the work becomes divorced from fiction, so you have huge swathes of people claiming characters as whatever they want external to the canon in order to feel secure in their own identity. fascinating subject, too dense to get into in a tumblr ask haha

i think at the crux of it what i need people to understand is characters are not real people, they do not have aspects deeper than what we're shown in the canon. characters are simply functions of the plot. like take two characters in a love story. sure, if these WERE real people, TECHNICALLY someone could say "they can have sex and actively want to have sex and be attracted to each other and still be asexual!" which. uh, sure, but if a mouse said that about a kia sorento, etc etc. like that potential reading has so little bearing on the story that i know it's just pulled out of someone's ass so they can manufacture deeper meaning and "representation" out of the media they consume because they're not getting that representation elsewhere. which sucks! but! just because something COULD be canon doesn't mean it IS canon and in our current climate of media illiteracy, that's the unfortunate trend to how people are choosing to consume media. self-first rather than story-first, internal vs external, individual vs collective. you can go on and on.

and of course. of course. you can negate ALL of this by just telling me it's not that serious and media is consumed in the preferred method of the consumer, that's what it's meant for. i am fully self-aware i come at this like i have two english degrees. and for that fact, rest assured i will always be deeply deeply uncool

#hope that helped explain a bit about what i mean #at the end of the day i think words have meaning that that has made me public enemy number one #ask box

[itsclydebitches]

Have you seen the posts going around saying shit like "If a mutual likes Hazbin Hotel I will block them"?? It's genuinely upsetting me tbh, not just the idea that people don't like the show, but that they despise it so much they can't even stand the thought of someone they know liking the show. It reminds me of the Steven Universe hate train only worse. They also say shit like "the show is just someone saying swear words and expecting you to laugh", and if for a second we put aside the fact that that is blatantly not true, what's wrong with that? I'm allowed to like something that's a bit trash, right? I've already seen two different people I follow reblog posts to that effect (and worse, someone saying all a character boils down to is "i love being sexually abused <3" and i don't know how they ever came to that conclusion) and it's driving me mad. And somehow I just know that they don't actually give a shit about any "controversies" surrounding vivziepop, that's just a convenient excuse for most of them. I don't even care if Vivzie is a bad person, that's none of my business. just live and let live, you know?

Sorry for ranting, you're literally the only blog i follow who posts Hazbin fan content

Rant away, friend! Luckily for me I haven't come across any of those posts yet. Plenty of discourse surrounding whether fans are allowed to make romantic and/or sexual content for Alastor, the expected shipping wars, and - as you say - vague references to Vivzie controversies (which I'm too new a fan to even be aware of yet)... but nothing that's a complete rejection of the show itself. That's probably because I've only engaged with blogs posting a lot of Hazbin content though.

I'm a big fan of old school Internet rules which includes an emphasis on cultivating your own online space. You know, the thing tumblr is explicitly designed for. So in theory I applaud anyone blocking users/tags for a show they're not a fan of. Performatively posting about it more as a way to guilt others for liking Hazbin at all... not so much. If you want to block something just block it. If you're mutuals with someone you both presumably like each others' content. Not all of it necessarily, but enough to have followed in the first place, and often being mutuals for long enough leads to friendship because you're both getting interacting with one another a lot. All of which isn't to say that people don't unfollow mutuals, or that you can't drop a mutual because they've started posting something you dislike. Obviously both situations do happen, but it feels like an extreme enough response that these posters probably aren't actually doing this very often. Most people will wait the mutual out until their interest gets hooked on something new, or block the Hazbin tag and keep the friend, or just block without making a big announcement about it. So posts like that feel more like a way to show off how much you dislike the show and guilt others for their enjoyment which yeah, can be upsetting to see. Especially when, as you say, it costs nothing to just let people like things.

Which might sound hypocritical on my part given my RWBY interests, but I think there's a big difference between critically examining a show while supporting others who genuinely love it, and simplistically blasting it. I COMPLETELY get why Hazbin wouldn't be to everyone's tastes and, like with the SU example, anything that gets popular enough is going to develop its haters (especially cartoons trying to tackle non-childish subjects. That's always going to be a fandom landmine). But if you're going to make claims about a show, at least watch it to ensure you can back up your stance? And if your takeaway is still, "This is the worst fucking thing I've ever watched"... cool. Go forth and write about that on your own, personal blog. But no one should be surprised when they're also blocked for bragging about how many Hazbin fans they've blocked.

#Hazbin Hotel

[the-upper-shelf]

if you dont mind, how do you lay out your anatomy and stuff before ykw... you draw over it(?) also how do you do different face shapes, ive been having trouble with that recently. sorry if i asked too much

AGHH sorry!! It took me so long to reply to you ;_;

References are the key! If I have a pose in mind, 90% of the times I'll be searching for a pose as close to it as possible (never take more than an hour to pick your refs though! It's easy to get lost in the internet rabbit hole)

So, let's assume I want to draw someone sitting (one of the hardest poses for me to this day. I hate legs)

Like this one from @data_CQ

Let's start analyzing it, shall we?

One thing that I learned and changed my point of view on references entirely is that you have to check the "empty spaces"! Especially if you're struggling with placing stuff like arms or legs.

Look! Triangles! And uh...other weird shapes.

Let's try to just draw the outilen of our subject here now.

Note: if you're a beginner I suggest to do this with a grid for the first attempts. Once you're confident enough you can try drawing without it :)

Not a perfect one, I know, but we still have blocked our character's position. With less details we can focus on their posture a lot better.

Now, this is the ugly part: construction! We live in a 3D world so all our body parts are tridimensional (obviously) and you probably already know this but torso, arms, legs and all that work exactly like 3D shapes.

...sorry. My sketches are always messy lol

I don't have the knowledge to try and explain to you how anatomy works, unfortunately. but there's a lot of tutorials out there with this method :)

In this phase I always take some liberty. Maybe I raise the head a little, change the hands position and things like that. I've never been good at copying, I have a very short attemption spawn lol

Clothes gets added once you've layed out your character nakey (ehe)

You can see how they wrap around the subject body's here. I honestly just...look at them and try to mimic them. After many many drawings you'll be able to figure it out even without references :) (though it's always good to use them)

There ya go!

This is a very fast tutorial and I hope it helps but PLEASE if you can, study from professionals because i'm just a smol cartoonist and I'm still learning myself. I know studying can be super boring but if you want a suggestion...use your characters ;) that's how I did it and it made it a lot more enjoyable.

If you have any more questions feel free to let me know, have fun drawing!

[jorrated]

Hiya Jo, sorry to come to you for this, but your post on Maya Knuckles was so cool I had to ask. You seem good at researching stuff, do you have any tips on looking for sources on specific groups of people? I've been struggling on finding good resources on indigenous groups from brasil... (I'm brazilian myself but i dont know where to start)

I wouldn't say I'm good at research, as I think I'm more insanely curious and just lucky LOL. A lot of times when I try to search for specific things I try absolutely everything until I stumble on whatever I was looking for!

But usually I start with a quick basic skim-read on whatever google gives you when you look up whatever your looking for. Most often then not it'll probably give a wikipedia page, some related news articles and some unsourced pages. A lot of times I won't use any of these, but it's a good way to get a feel for what you'll need to keep an eye for.

What I mean is that sometimes just looking for the main subject of the research wont actually give you what you're looking for. For example, when I was looking for Mayan stuff, it kept giving me Inca and Aztec info, which is cool, but wasn't what i was looking for. But since these 3 were usually grouped together, looking for Inca and Aztec books/resources actually helped me a bunch into finding what I was looking for, and more! So keep an eye out on how the subject you're looking for is COMMONLY described, what's usually associated to it, what people talk about the subject etc.

Then you can go actually searching for thing now, I recommend using DuckDuckGo! And always check if they got a source. Plenty of articles will say things that they've seen on other articles, which maybe are true! but then you always run the risk of getting incorrect facts. So always check, if it's not sourced, run another search with the info and see if another article has a source.

When you do find an article/book with a source THEN you can fall down the rabbit hole! No joke one sourced article can lead you to 5 sources, which most probably also have sources. So from there it's pretty easy to search up on references.

If you run into a dead end and still hasn't found what you're looking for I recommend checking what the wikipedia page is citing as sources. You might not be able to access everything there, but some links should be able to redirect you to somethings.

In terms of paywalled scientific articles, disabling javascript usually works (right click on the page -> inspect element -> find the gear on the top right of the window it just showed up -> scroll down until you see a checkbox saying "disable Javascript" -> and refresh page). But if that doesn't work, Sci-Hub is fucking amazing. Just put down your ref or DOI and voilá!

For books I recommend checking the Internet Archive! They usually have what you're looking for, but also half of the time you can just type "Book name PFD" and it'll usually come up after a few search pages. Just make sure you know how to download stuff without getting a virus in you PC.

Reverse image search can also be pretty useful if you find an image related to the subject, since you can link up to other articles/blogs.

If you're STILL running in dead ends, switching up languages can help (probably not your case since your brazilian and most likely already searching in portuguese but yknow). Google translate extensions can really help looking into pages with languages you don't know! It's not perfect but it might help you get a gist of it.

And lastly if you want to know more about Indigenous people from Brazil, I got a couple of reccomendations (most in portuguese btw)!

Centro de Referência Virtual Indígena

Probably the BIGGEST resource on historical and political information on Indigenous groups. It hosts around 2,3 million documents ranging from bills passed, to personal diary entries. (aaaaand can link up to a lot of other cool resources)

Observatórios dos Direitos e Políticas Indigenistas

Translated from their website: OBIND aims to obtain and systematize quantitative and qualitative data on territorialization processes, territorial management, interethnic conflicts, human rights and quality of life of indigenous peoples and populations in reserved areas or in urban contexts, in order to enable visibility, comparability, evaluation and guidance for indigenous policies and promotion of their rights, notably those pertinent to respect for their uses, customs and traditions and the exclusive enjoyment of the lands they traditionally occupy, recognizing for this the sine qua non condition of promoting indigenous autonomy and overcoming guardianship as assimilationist legacy.

Indígenas pela Terra & Vida

Youtube playlist about many different Indigenous people recounting their experiences and narratives.

GENOCÍDIO INDÍGENA E POLÍTICAS INTEGRACIONISTAS: demarcando a escrita no campo da memória

Book titled: INDIGENOUS GENOCIDE AND INTEGRATIONIST POLICIES: demarcating writing in the field of memory

#hope this helps anon! #i want to rec also Estou Aqui. Sempre Estive. Sempre Estarei. #but i couldnt find a pdf of it to give it #one day ill try to scan it

[cupcakeshakesnake]

You have m o r e ?!?!? Omg they're amazing, I love them already and it's only been like 90 seconds (I've just been staring at them because. Wow.)

Wait but are you actually getting rid of them/ discontinuing their story? I mean, I saw that post about Sisyphus, but I would love it if we got to see more of these guys. I mean, no pressure if you weren't but I just wanted to let you know that I'm a really big fan of your work. I appreciate that, for your nonhuman characters, while their designs are very visually appealing in the artistic sense, you can tell that they're not at all supposed to be attractive in any modern human idealized sort of way (and what does it mean to Objectively Attractive anyway? Popular opinion is so hypocritcally subjective) but instead that each individual drawing, whether it's a character of your own creation or your take on a preexisting one, is crafted to serve their exact purpose on the page (whether it's Humor of Incongruity, expressing frustration, evoking the beauty in the imperfect, etc.), because you can see both the soul of that being and the way the Otherness of their design sets them apart as new and interesting yet accentuates the uniquely human part of their character (however buried and twisted that part may be, in some cases. Looking at you, Valek.)

. . . I was going somewhere further with this but I lost where I was. I'm sorry, it's late and I'm tired, but I just saw this and felt I had to say something (other than "cool monsters go brrr"). I know we're just strangers on the internet, and I'm not any sort of people person. We don't know anything substantial about each other, and we'll probably never meet. But I hope you know that, for whatever it's worth, there are people out there who see what you're doing. And that it's beautiful in all of it's imperfection, and beautiful *because* of it. And that, miniscule though my knowledge of you may be (because who can truly know anyone?), I can *see* the beauty of your soul shining through the crack of your art. And that I get a little bit of joy and inspiration every time I come across your work, so I hope this clumsily, hasty little message can give at least some of that joy back to you.

(P.S. I wrote this as a AtNC reblog, but by the time I finished writing this I figured it'd probably be better to send as an ask, so that you can decide what to do with it. You are in no way obligated to make any sort of response to this. From what I understand, you don't believe in a benevolent higher power, and that's okay, I'm still on the fence about whether I do or not, but I just... felt oddly compelled to write this. Like something was telling me I had to try to convey this to you, because you needed it. It's fine if you don't understand what I'm saying, I'm not sure even I do, but just hope that wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whatever you are going through, you know there's someone out there who cares for you, and that your existence is w o r t h something immeasurable.)

I hope you're okay. You are stronger than you know.

First of all, thank you. It took me a while to reply because I've been very busy with schoolwork, but I've reread this message at least several times a day and it has brought me such joy each time.

To answer your question, no, I'm not discontinuing or getting rid of anything - I assume this has to do with my monster OCs, and there are two major stories of them so far.

One is Walter, which I simply decided not to use for schoolwork after being told its plot is too boring. That's all. I will do what I want with it in my own time. The other is that one with the mutated office workers, which fortunately got the OK from the professor. Both are still very rough works in progress.

I'm very glad that you like the way I draw... er, things, for lack of a better wording. Things I draw for myself may turn out far from "conventionally attractive", but I like it that way. You made me think about an aspect of my art that I never really considered before, but you have a point; in a way, I could be trying to humanize characters not by giving them a more human face but by giving them their own ways to express humanity.

That being said, I don't know what an "AtNC" reblog is supposed to be, but I wouldn't have minded either way. Your kind words are appreciated all the same.

#snake got an ask #anonymous #Regarding “humanizing”: One thing I like to do is make expressions and body languages out of inhuman features #It's fun

[littlemessyjessi]

Sleepwalker: BTS Reactions

BTS Reactions 

BTS x Plus Size Reader

A/N:  So I'm a sleepwalker.  I have been all my life. It just… it is what it is.  While part of it is just me standing in the middle of the kitchen staring at a cabinet or walking up and down the hallway… sometimes it's really funny.  I've thought about sharing this with you more than once because we do have some little cheap cameras set up over the house.  Mostly, just so in the event that I ended up causing damage to myself or our home.. we would have proof as to why.  And also, just for shits and giggles.  However, for whatever reason… I always end up taking my pants off or just go completely naked… and that's just not suitable for the internet.  Nor would I subject myself to that.  So instead, my fiance and I have made a list of some of the best moments and I've decided to write some fanfic for you.  If you want more of this or want to see it in other fandoms, please let me know because honestly, I've got so many scenarios, lol.

For reference for most of these scenes, Val (my beloved fiance) is played by the member and you (and oh my god I am so sorry to place this burden upon you but…) you are playing the part of myself in this tragic reenactment of my nightly escapades.   I am so sorry that you are inspired by my own craziness.  My apologies. 

I have finessed it a little bit to fit the members more with their reactions but honestly, it's pretty damn close to Valentina's reactions.  Please enjoy the insanity. 

BTS Reactions… to you being a sleepwalker….. 

Seokjin: 

(A/N: For context, we had been petsitting Val's sister's pet, Gizmo. I'm assuming this is what spawned this reaction, lol.) 

"You're just a glorified rat! That's all a hamster is!" 

Jin's head whipped around, brows furrowed at your sudden announcement, confusion and irritation written across his face. 

One because he thought you were already asleep and two… because you had just insulted him… in such a weird way. 

However, once his eyes landed on you, he understood immediately. 

He rolled his eyes but they were twinkling with amusement. 

You were standing there in the middle of the room.  

Ass cheeks on display in nothing but your night shirt as you gave the orange on the counter a stern talking to. 

Sleepwalking.   

Again. 

"I don't even like bananas."  you slurred.  "Jerk." 

Jin bit his lip to keep his laughter at bay. 

You suddenly whipped around and marched past him back towards the bedroom. 

He waited until he heard the door shut to lose it. 

He couldn't wait to bring this up tomorrow. 

Yoongi: 

He was fast asleep when he began to feel something tugging his arm. 

His eyes blearily blinked open when he saw that you were standing at the edge of the bed trying to leave the room. 

Only to be held back by your joined hands. 

That was nothing new as he often held your hand while he was sleeping. 

He was a bit like an otter in that respect and it had only intensified when he realized that you were a sleepwalker. 

You let out an unintelligible groan of frustration. 

"Lemme go… ' swear to God… you don't even know me…." 

Yoongi lifted a brow at you, still half asleep himself, but didn't let go of your hand. 

Instead, he gentle passed his thumb back and forth across the back of your hand until you gasped and he could tell that you were coming out of it. 

"Babe?" you asked. 

"You were sleepwalking again." he said, his voice even deeper with sleep.  "Come back to bed." 

You didn't say anything and just got back into bed. 

And Yoongi linked your hands again. 

Hoseok: 

He was on a mission. 

It was three in the morning.  It has been twenty minutes. 

And you were nowhere to be found. 

Your nightly escapades were nothing new to Hoseok but usually there would at least be a sound to let him know where you were and what you were into. 

So as the hands of the clock closed in on three twenty… he was up and out of the bed. 

Ten more minutes and still he couldn't find you. 

He was getting ready to make a call when he stopped dead in his tracks and let out an unholy scream. 

You were standing right outside of the sliding glass door to the balcony. 

Stark naked and staring at him like he was your prey. 

You scared the absolute hell out of him. 

You just looked…. so creepy. 

He was caught between wanting to get as far away from you as possible and the obvious need to get your naked ass back in the house. 

Eventually, the latter won out and he slowly opened the door and you just kinda walked past him. 

He made a mental note to get better locks and placed a hand over his racing heart. 

You were gonna give him a heart attack one of these days. 

Namjoon: 

Well, part of him was very very curious as to what could cause you to sleep walk but the other part was just worried. 

Poor Joonie. 

He thought you'd already established that he was the clumsy one in this relationship. 

But you were an unholy terror when you were sleepwalking. 

He could barely keep up at times. 

He was continuously following behind you cleaning up the chaos that you created in your sleep. 

He made up his mind at that moment. 

He didn't want children anymore. 

Between the two of you… that was enough.  

You could just be his baby forever. 

Jimin: 

"You'll be such a pretty princess." 

If Jimin wasn't such a damn sap for you… this might've gotten on his nerves. 

However, it was five in the morning and you'd dressed him up in your best dress and were currently (horribly) smearing pink lipstick on his lips. 

You were out of it but apparently you were in the mood for a makeover. 

And he let you. 

Because he loves you. 

He could always take a shower. 

That's what soap is for. 

However, he definitely took pictures to guilt you with the next day.  

And also to prove to you that you did, in fact, put that red lipstick in your eyebrows and not him. 

Taehyung: 

Well, this one is kind of chaotic in general. 

Because so does he. 

So needless to say, the security system is quite good because there's no telling what either of you could get into. 

Jimin, being the night owl that he is, will sometimes just pop around and get in with the security code just to check on your both. 

He's used to Taehyung's particular brand of insanity but it was real hard to look you in the eyes the next day after he came by to check on ya'll and you were standing stark naked on top of the counter trying to dust the ceiling. 

As far as Taehyung goes, he realized how crazy the sleepwalking thing goes from first hand experience. 

So he definitely installed cameras around the house and now the two of you watch the footage on the regular. 

Neither could of you could ever post it for more than one reason but you get the biggest kick out it sometimes. 

Jungkook: 

Well, this goes one of two ways. 

If he's already asleep and you start … you are shit out of luck. 

There ain't nothing waking him up. 

However, if you start before he's out…. game on. 

He considers it a personal challenge to either slowly bring you out of it or get you back to bed. 

And while it's definitely competitive kookie mode… he's like so sweet about it. 

I mean, come on.  We've all seen this man. 

He's so precious about it. 

"Come on, jagi.  Let's go to bed.   Yeah, it's nice and comfy." 

Occasionally, you just end up in Bam's house and he's says 'fuck it' and joins you. 

And Bam gets in ya'lls bed…. silently judging the both of you for this clear breach of sanity. 

……

—-

Hey, loves! I hope you liked it! I'm trying out new content styles! If you liked, it please let me know!

Love, K

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