#so not interested in anyone trying to give me essays on why they think i'm wrong thanks

[prongsiepotter]

sunbathing by the black lake | j. potter

summary: your childhood best friend james is being a little shit but in an endearing sort of way while showing his little acts of love

pairing: james potter x childhood bsf!reader

a/n: my first time writing on this blog!! i have a childhood friends to lovers playlist on spotify if anyone wants to listen to it bc i have a feeling it’s all i’ll write abt lol would really appreciate some feedback! enjoy x

──────── 𑁍︎ ‧₊°

There's no way to explain how the energy shifts when James is around. It simply does. Just like how you can feel the sun beating down on you right now. Hence, you can sense his approach without as much as a glance at him, your gaze continuing to drift across the notes Remus left for you in the margins of your essay.

James knows that, of course, as he strides across the grass towards you. You have never really talked about it, but seeing how he can also just tell when you're about to enter a room he's in, you both have made it a habit to not announce your presence. There's just no need.

So when he plops down next to you and rests his chin on your shoulder like it's his birthright, neither of you is surprised. In fact, it’s just right. Like puzzles slotting in perfectly.

For a few minutes, the world consists of birds chirping, a warm breeze, and the distant laughter of a group of Hufflepuff girls sitting a few paces away. You flip the page and let out a huff of laughter. James chuckles, his voice low and right next to your ear as he says, "Wouldn't be Moony if everything he touches didn't have a chocolate stain on it."

"It's like he's marking his territory." You try to rub it off with your sleeve, but the smudge only gets bigger. You squint and hold the paper in front of you, trying to discern if it's that noticeable (it is) but with a shrug you decide you couldn't care less. The movement makes James' glasses slide down to the tip of his nose, and he leans forward to make a dramatic face at you as if you had done him deeply wrong. With a playful eye-roll, you push them back for him and get a signature James Potter smile in return.

"Cheers, love." He beams at you and retrieves a balled-up napkin from the inside of his robe before taking it off. You watch him roll up the sleeves of his white Oxford shirt to his elbows, placing the mystery napkin on your lap. You glance at it curiously. "Unwrap it," he says. "It's for you."

Doing as you're told, you perk up with excitement when the content reveals itself. "Effie sent them?" You hold up the mangled piece of apple crumble like it's the most sacred thing you have ever gotten to hold, which it is. James nods, smiling at your happy dance. "I love her apple crumbles. Thank you!"

"You love everything my mum bakes," he says while lying down on his side, right in front of you with his head propped up on his palm. There's a glimmer in his amber eyes.

You give him a pointed look.

"Because everything that lovely woman bakes is the most scrumptious and amazing thing to exist." You take a big bite from the apple crumble to prove your point and your eyes flutter close as you hum. "This is why we're friends, Potter," you say with a mouthful. "No other reason. This is it."

"Oh yeah?" You hear the amusement in the drawl of his voice. Then he cups the side of your face and you look down at him as he distractedly brushes off some crumbs from the corner of your mouth. He looks up at the sky. "That's a shame because this is the last time you will get anything my mum has baked."

James' gaze is still turned upward, giving the sky his utmost interest as if to check if it's still blue. You stare at him in bewilderment. "Are you insane? Why would you deprive me of Effie's food?"

"I wonder how the weather will be tomorrow," he responds flippantly, and you swear your eye twitches.

"Oh, I'm sorry," you say, narrowing your eyes at him. "I forgot you were satan's spawn."

James does not react. You don’t think he will even reply with the way how he’s squinting and examining the very much non-existent clouds in the clear sky. But then he looks at you like you had asked him to solemnly share his meteorology findings with you, and with undeserved earnestness he tells you, "I think tomorrow will be just as sunny as today."

You blink at him. Then give a long-suffering sigh. "I thought you cared about me."

"I do," James says, rolling over to lay on his back with his eyes closed. "Which is why I can't have you lose your mind over some flour and sugar. I'm doing us a favour. Preserving our friendship." He cracks an eye open to look at you. "We've been friends since diapers, not because of my mum’s food, but because I'm brilliant and extremely lovable. Get your facts straight, woman."

You toss the napkin at his face.

He laughs.

Glancing at the last piece of the apple crumble in your hand, you ask, "Do you want it?"

James shakes his head, looking fond. "You assault me and then offer me the last bite?"

"Force of habit," you say flatly. "I can take it back."

He chuckles and takes off his glasses, resting his arm over his eyes. "You can have it, love. Cheers."

You don't have to be told twice and pop it happily in your mouth. With his other arm, he sweeps the scattered pages aside and pats the spot next to him. "Sleep with me?"

You quirk a brow. "Trying to get into my knickers, Potter?"

A breathy laughter escapes his lips. "Are you offering?"

"You wish."

"Merlin, yes." He sighs dramatically as if all James Potter has known in this lifetime was the pain of longing. He grabs blindly for you and pulls lightly at the hem of your skirt. "A man can dream. But for now just nap with me, yea?"

You bat at his wrist but let him pull you towards him nonetheless. There was never any other option, really.

In the blink of a moment, you're nestled into James’ side. His arm is cushioning your head, fingers absentmindedly playing with your hair as he tells you his thoughts on a book he recently read because he knew you liked it. You listen intensely, enjoying the easy conversation and the sunlight warming your skin. The world feels peaceful, and it doesn't take long before sleep pulls you both into a cosy slumber.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter fluff #james potter imagine #james potter oneshot #james potter fanfiction #james potter fic #james potter x you #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #marauders #marauders imagine #the marauders

[mdzs-fanon-exposed]

Introductory post: Please read! :)

hi everyone! welcome to my very own MDZS-specific iteration of the unparalleled @svsss-fanon-exposed and @tgcf-fanon-exposed. this blog is designed to find the differences between canon and fanon in the Mo Dao Zu Shi/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation fandom.

this blog is NOVEL CANON ONLY. although i may occasionally cite the drama or the donghua as the potential source for any misconceptions, the canons of these adaptations differ too much from the novel canon for my purposes (plus i haven't finished either one. whoops).

how this whole thing works:

send me an ask! is this thing you thought was canon actually fanon? is that fanon idea supported in the books? where? why? how?

i'll answer the ask with a rating, using SVFE's helpful rating system (explained below), and then go into detail. generally a post will include textual evidence supporting my rating, and possibly an analysis of what this means/where an idea came from.

i'll do my best not to introduce my own personal opinions or biases into the posts. if you have any textual evidence that you think disproves or otherwise contradicts one of my posts, i'm always happy to be corrected! HOWEVER. please do not argue with me or anyone else unnecessarily; this blog is not supposed to be a site for or source of discourse. i will block anyone who is repeatedly coming at me with bad faith. i'm doing this project for fun, and i want to keep it that way for everyone :)

posts will probably be sporadic so i don't burn myself out and lose interest. however, i want to try and answer as many questions as i can! submissions will open and close based on demand so i can stay on top of things.

some important things to keep in mind:

i'm not here to dunk on anyone's headcanons, and i am fully supportive of everyone's creative choices in the fandom!! (in fact i have many headcanons myself.) DO NOT harass anyone for their interpretations of the series. my purpose here is just to clarify whether certain ideas are textually supported, NOT to give an opinion on them.

i'm doing this blog for fun, so i'll be treating it as a casual project. i will only be using the official english translation of the novels, with the supplementary exception of the exiled rebels fanlation. i don't speak any chinese, so i will not be using the untranslated raws or any non-english fandom sources in my posts. although i'll be doing research as needed, i also will not be evaluating any headcanons purely based on chinese cultural norms, due to my unfamiliarity with them. if you are more familiar with any of these sources and have more information to add to a post, please let me know!

BECAUSE this is a casual project from someone whose only credentials are being completely obsessed with mo dao zu shi and knowing how to write an essay, anyone is welcome to make a blog that does this but. better. let me know if you start one and i'll point people your way lol.

finally: i will NOT be entertaining any character bashing in or on my blog. i've noticed that a lot of mdzs characters have some very... strong opinions about them across the fandom, and i may evaluate the "canon status" of asks that address specific aspects of these opinions, but as a general rule: i am going to be neutral-to-positive about EVERY mdzs character (yes, even that one. and that one. and-). and again, this is not a personal opinion-based blog, i'm looking at textual support, so honestly i don't think this disclaimer is necessary. but. just in case.

💥💥the rating system:💥💥

CANON: what it says on the tin! this fact is supported by the text. if you're trying to be as canon-compliant as possible, this rating is for you.

RUMOR: this fact is an in-text rumor. although this idea is mentioned in the novel, it's still not explicitly confirmed as canon. the characters themselves don't know if it's true or not!

FANON – SUPPORTED: not directly stated in canon, but it's a very likely interpretation, taking into account factors like cultural norms and occam's razor! this rating might be retroactively added to a post previously rated FANON – NEUTRAL, based on crowdsourced information about the raws or chinese culture.

FANON – NEUTRAL: it's not canon, but it's not NOT canon. the text neither confirms nor denies this interpretation, so it's up to you whether you want to consider it true to canon or not. the world is your oyster.

FANON – UNSUPPORTED: not directly stated in canon, but it's a very unlikely interpretation, taking into account factors like cultural norms and occam's razor. this rating might be retroactively added to a post previously rated FANON – NEUTRAL, based on crowdsourced information about the raws or chinese culture.

FANON – CONFLICTING: this idea directly contradicts something stated in the text. if you want to stay as canon-compliant as possible, this rating is not for you.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs meta #here goes nothing i suppose #i want you all to picture the 💥 emoji as if 'the rating system' was a youtube title screen with a bunch of explosions and air horns btw

[kooki914]

How do you think would Noelle and Ralsei interact with each other if they got the chance? What would their relationship bring out of the other?

This is something I've given a lot of thought to, and something I'm still salty wasn't explored at all in Chapter 2. So this post is both going to answer your question as well as be my excuse to write an essay about these two.

The thing is, Noelle and Ralsei are narrative foils to each other. That probably sounds weird on account of the fact that they never interact, but both mechanically and through dialogue, we see parallels form between them. They're both enigmatic, mysterious, while keeping up friendly appearances, while also being literal or figurative royalty in their respective worlds (Noelle is from a rich family and is adored, Ralsei is a prince with no subjects). They're both love interests to the leads (yes, to Kris and Susie BOTH, the snowgrave route is essentially an exploration of a toxic friends-to-lovers but I'm not getting into that here), and they're both rife with religious symbolism, as well as the fact they're both prey animals (in a world where boss monsters like Toriel and Asgore can look more lion-esque, Ralsei's decidedly goat-ish appearance is kind of striking to me). They have the same heal spell (a pray to light) and they're both "passive" in that kind of way a mage usually is in RPGs.

Noelle's arc mainly centers around agency, while Ralsei's arc mainly centers around identity. For all the struggles she faces, Noelle doesn't really have that... crisis of character that Susie and Ralsei are prone to. Even in the snowgrave route, she doesn't question herself, she questions Kris. And, while Ralsei IS an obedient doormat, it's not out of a lack of agency (he shows us as much when he puts his foot down right before the kids open a fountain), it's an active choice he KNOWS he can simply... Not Do (as evidenced by how upset he is with Susie's behaviour in chapter 1 and his epiphany about it in chapter 2, he essentially equates mean behaviour to Purposefully making people around you suffer, instead of a personality quirk or showing of emotion).

It's interesting to think about how they'd complement one another. Not even strictly in a character arc sense (I'll get to that), but just in a... character interaction sense. Noelle has this pattern of putting the spotlight on other people. Even when she talks about herself it's always framed as a way to lift up those around her, while Ralsei has this sneaky way of getting to know you without you even realising (if the rooms he made for Kris and Susie are anything to go by). I think this would result in a dynamics where Noelle (passively, almost accidentally) allows Ralsei to open up in a more genuine way, while Ralsei still tends to Noelle's needs like he does for everyone else.

It's also interesting from a worldbuilding sense. We've seen Ralsei not give a flying fuck about Anyone that isn't directly connected to the prophecy, both for humour reasons and for horror reasons (as seen in the snowgrave route), so giving him a friend that's 1) a lightner, 2) not part of the prophecy, and 3) trying to actually know him on a personal level - it'd probably cause him to actually rethink his worldview. If someone like Noelle, someone who's got nothing to do with the prophecy, can be an important person to him and a good friend to people she doesn't *need* to care about, then why can't he? Can he be someone outside the prophecy? Is his identity and purpose not confined to this, and what does that mean for him in the long run?

And, on Noelle's side of things, Ralsei would probably be a healthier outlet for that feeling of nostalgia she's so addicted to. With him around, she's allowed to just be a kid again. No appearances to keep up, no expectations to fulfill, he's a fresh start and a new friend that she's allowed to be her authentic self around because his existence is essentially rooted in tending to the inner child of all the lightners he comes across. And maybe then she'll be able to let go of the past. Maybe, though viewing her childhood through an outsider's eager point of view, she can see how far away it is, and how she doesn't NEED it to be happy. Things can't be the same, and maybe that's a good thing. Maybe they can be better.

Overall, there's also a... vague "burden of femininity" they both have. They take on emotional labour even when they don't have to, just because that's what's expected of them. I so badly want a Dark Fun Gang-esque arc with these two where they defect from the team and just decide to be bad guys on their own terms for a while. Just because they can, just to see what it brings out of them. And, they'd be complete dorks about it of course, but it'd be nice to see them breaking their moulds with people they don't feel judged by, with friends they don't feel the need to impress because they're already so similar to.

There's this one bit of dialogue I wrote for them for one of my AUs, specifically in the above scenario where they decide to be bad guys for a bit, and I feel I need to share it here because it puts into words something I can't without taking away from the feels of it:

#deltarune #asks #noelle #noelle holiday #noelle deltarune #ralsei #character analysis #deltarune chapter 2 #kingdomrune #tagging the au i made the dialogue for #probably not gonna reblog it to its blog ngl #god i love these kids

[hrts4soyeon]

Back To You

Yunjin x fem!reader 

Genre: angst, idol!au

Warnings: angst, violence(?), yelling, toxic relationship, cursing

summary: no matter how much Yunjin hurt you you couldn't ever seem to let go of her. Will you ever draw a line or will you continue to go back to her?

Word count: 7,050

a/n: this is my first time writing something other than an essay and I’m not the best in english class so if there are any spelling or grammatical errors pls ignore it i tried my best😕

i know you say you know me know me well

Jennifer huh, you had known her since 1st grade. She was a year older but you were put in a combined class with 2nd graders. You had been sitting to the side isolating yourself while everyone ate together and talked, you had always kept to yourself. This fascinated her. Jennifer was known as the popular girl who was friends with everyone. Everyone loved her because although she was popular it never seemed to change her personality. She remained the nicest person in class, always helping the teachers and students out. You weren't a bad kid either, quite the opposite actually. You took smartness to a whole new level, that was the reason you were in the mixed class, you were amongst the smartest 1st graders

You weren't hard to look at either. In fact by 3rd grade you already had admirers, but by 4th grade all of them had disappeared. Whenever one of the boys would try to talk to you you’d turn red due to your stuttering and before even 3 words were out your mouth you'd run away. 

Jennifer took interest in you, despite the fact that you constantly strayed from her. Most people would just take the hint and leave but she was persistent. This seemed very strange to you as no one ever tried this hard. You did want to be her friend but for some reason you couldn't bring yourself to even respond to her. 

By 4th grade you and Jennifer were inseparable, you two did everything together. All her persistence really did pay off in the end because by 8th grade it was her who was trying to run away from you. Of course she still loved you more than anyone but you could be overbearing at times and with her short temper things often didn't end well.

“GOD WHY CAN'T YOU GO FIND SOME OTHER FRIENDS AT SCHOOL! YOU KEEP CLINGING TO ME AND IT'S ANNOYING I CAN LITERALLY NEVER CATCH A BREAK FROM YOU!” 

‘She doesn't mean it, she doesn't mean it’ is what you'd repeat to yourself whenever these situations arrived. You'd been friends with her since before her temper was so out of control and you knew her, the real her. She said a lot of things out of anger and you knew that. She had brought this topic up before a bit more calmly and so you knew her blowing up was your doing.

“I'm sorry, I'll try to change and get more friends to stop annoying you.” you said trying to keep your voice from wavering even more than it had been. But as soon as she processed the small waver in your voice her whole demeanor shifted, you could see her physically melt. 

“I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have blown up at you like that, but you know how I get mad easily and if you had just listened to me none of this would've happened. I'm just stressed out and I hope you can forgive me, I'll try to be better and control my anger.”

“nono don’t apologize, I'm sorry I should've just listened and I will, I'll try to give you space at school.” After this left your mouth she walked up to you and hugged you.

but these days i don't even know myself (no) i always thought i'd be with someone else i thought i would own the way i felt (yeah)

“y/n, wanna come to my home after school?”

“I have a lot of homework and I have plans with mina…..” just as you were about to decline you saw her looking at you with that look, the look you could never deny.

“-but i think i could move the plans with mina to tomorrow.” at the sound of you relenting she started squealing and hugging you. 

“Meet me after 7th period and we can walk home together.” she said with a wink as she walked to her next class.

Mina Myoui, she was a year older than you just like Jennifer meaning you two didn’t share the same classes. You two shared only one class which was math. You were both also very introverted so it took a while for this friendship to blossom but once it did you were so glad Jennifer told you to find new friends. 

You stopped clinging to Jennifer as much and spent a lot more time with Mina, and found you two were very similar. You even thought you were developing a crush on her, she was just so perfect. She never got mad at you and was always calm, she loved to listen to you and your problems and to top it all off she was definitely one of the prettiest people you had come across. She had such delicate yet elegant features. She had definitely been a queen in her past life.

You wanted to tell Jennifer about this little (almost?) crush on Mina but knowing Jennifer she would probably be fuming with the thought that you’d replaced her. On top of being easily pissed off, Jennifer Huh was also a person with a lot of jealousy in her and you didn't want to do anything to upset her. 

The more you hung out with Mina the more you realized that maybe this wasn't a crush, you felt almost the same way towards Mina as you did to Jennifer. Jennifer was your bestest friend. You couldn't like her right? That would be weird, you guys had known each other since you were in 1st. You guys were basically siblings, right? The more you thought about it the more you felt sick by the thought that Jennifer saw you as just a sister.

School had ended and you were both in Jennifer's room sitting on her bed when she suddenly said ‘we need to talk’ . This took you by surprise as you didn't think you had done anything to upset her this past week, you were very nervous. Her whole demeanor changed, she sat up straight and had a serious look on her face.

“Okay uhm, I've been thinking about doing this for a while now but i haven't had the courage to actually confront you and say something about it. I uhh ever since I saw you in first grade I always thought that you were different from the rest of the students, you stayed to yourself and you uhm even when guys would talk to you or confess to you, you would always run away and you never really let anyone in. i think i was pretty determined and i eventually got you to open up and now i have you forever, and even though i can be such a shitty person and friend at times you never leave me. You could have ditched me so many times and I bet others would too, hell I would leave myself, but you never left me. You’re like the best person I know and I don't know what I'd do without you — anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I love and appreciate you so much but I don't want to be your friend anymore, I can't be.” as soon as you heard her last sentence your heart dropped in your chest and tears started welling up in your eyes, your smile now a deep frown. This couldn't be happening, Jennifer was your whole world.

“Y-y-you d-don't wanna be my f-friend any m-more?” you stuttered out the tears in your eyes almost falling as you will yourself to hold them back, but alas one single tear drop fell. With the fall of that one tear drop it was as if a dam had broken, all the tears you had tried to hold back were coming down nonstop.

Jennifer immediately reached out and wiped you tears with her thumb as she took a hold of your face. 

“No, I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna be more. I love you, but not in the way I'm supposed to, I love you as in I wanna hold and kiss you, I wanna introduce you to everyone as my girlfriend. I don't want you to like, love, or hold anyone but me, I want all your friends to know that you belong to me and I belong to you. What do you say, be my girlfriend?” hearing this you started sobbing even harder while nodding your head. Not even in your wildest dreams would you have dreamt of THE Jennifer huh, the most popular girl in your school to want you. Maybe she didn't see you as a sister after all, maybe you didn't see her as one either

Seeing you nod, Jennifer pulled your face to hers and crashed your lips together. This was all she had wanted for as long as she could remember. You tried your best to respond to her kiss but you honestly had no idea on what to do, you had never kissed anyone before. Jennifer being the most popular girl, had been in relationships so she obviously had experience.

She pulled away laughing at the fact that you couldn't respond to the kiss

“whattt, you know I've never been in a relationship nor kissed anyone.” you said whining

She chuckled and responded by saying that she’d teach you how to kiss and that you would never kiss lips that were not hers. You spent the rest of the time in her room just kissing and her demonstrating and telling you what to do.

Dating Jennifer sent you through a whirlwind of emotions. You were confused, confused about what you felt towards Mina and how that differentiated from your feelings towards Jennifer. You loved Jennifer, you really did but that left you with questions about your feelings for mina. You thought what you felt with Mina might've been a bit stronger than what you felt for Jennifer, but you couldn't risk losing them both, you weren’t sure about your feelings for Mina, not even sure if they’d be reciprocated but Jennifer was there. She loved you, you loved her, and you loved Jennifer too much to let her go, too much to put your own feelings before hers. Telling yourself that Mina was nothing more than a friend you found yourself slowly believing that. 

You couldn't tell whether you were happy or disappointed as Mina's expression did not change when you told her you were dating Jennifer. For the most part she seemed happy for you and you tried to tell yourself that you were even happier with that. 

It was a new school year, mina and Jennifer were now seniors and you a Junior. As much as you tried to tell yourself you didn't like her, your feelings for Mina were not going away as fast as they should have been and you were starting to get worried. You tried to distance yourself from Mina and told yourself it would benefit yours and Jennifer's relationship. 

Your mentality that this was the right thing came crashing down when you saw mina’s face as you bailed on her for the 2nd time that week. Telling her you had too much homework and couldn't hang out with her. The way her face fell hurt your heart and within the minute of you two  just standing there in silence you realized how selfish you had been, only thinking of your own feelings and not minas. You’d never felt more shitty, you couldn't stand seeing anyone else sad at the doings of your own especially not Mina. You immediately took back what you said and asked her if you guys could first go to your home first to finish a bit of homework before going out. 

The way her face lit up when all you had done was go through with your plans made your heart crumble. You promised yourself you'd never be the cause of a sad expression on her face again. 

The more you hung out with Mina the more you realized maybe this was the right way to get over your feelings for her. You both would talk about Jennifer and it made you realize how much you loved her and never wanted to lose her. Mina was ecstatic at seeing her best friend so happy with another. You found your mind leaving Mina and focusing on Jennifer. You questioned yourself and wondered how you ever doubted your feelings for jennifer.

I call you but you never even answer  i tell myself i'm done with wicked games

Huh Yunjin, her Korean name. Seeing as she was in Korea it only made sense for her to go by it  now. Both you and Yunjin had moved to Korea a while back, pursuing a life of fame. She was now a trainee at HYBE while you were at JYP. The original plan was for you two to enter the same company but fate had other plans. The day Yunjin was accepted into HYBE you were accepted into JYP. You both had applied to a lot of agencies and been accepted but these were the first BIG companies to reach out to you. Taking into account that you’d see Mina more often you accepted the fact that HYBE didn't accept you and chose to join JYP. 

“This is the second time you’ve called her within the 30 minutes you’ve been here, just accept that she's not picking up.'' Mina said with a groan as you put your phone down. 

“She never answers, I know she’s probably overwhelmed with work right now seeing as she's set to debut in a month but I wish she could at least send me a text.” 

“But aren't you set to debut in 2 months, just barely a month after her?” Mina responded making you think about it. But it was different, her debut was closer to happening than yours. You knew of her dream to be famous and you shared that dream with her, if she wanted to be an idol she had to prioritize that over everything, right? You understood that and so that's what you said to mina. 

“She's gonna debut sooner though and I can't be her top priority, her job has to be.” after processing what you had just said minas head snapped towards you looking at you like you had gone mad. 

“I'M an idol y/n i've been an idol for years and trust me when i say that's not an excuse, don't you remember when you were still in New York and i was in Korea? Although I was an idol I still made time for you. Look at yourself, you're in the same position as her yet here you are clearly prioritizing her.” you didn't know what to say in response to this, you wanted to deny it to say that you've matured, that you didn't let Yunjin walk over you anymore but even you knew that was a lie. 

“Okay okay, I'll talk to her after things are less stressful for her and I'll make sure that she sees me as a priority, and I'll make sure she sticks to her word.”

But then i get so numb with all the laughter  that i forget about the pain

You were currently in Yunjins dorm which she shared with Eunchae and Chaewon. You all were in the kitchen eating, you found yourself coming here often after their debut. You had come to talk to her about her recent behavior, how she promised she would change but hadn’t at all. You got caught up with everything else though and the thought to tell her completely slipped your mind. 

“So y/n how does it feel to have your official debut in a couple of weeks?” Chaewon asked

“Honestly it feels unreal. I still can't believe it's gonna happen, I'm so excited.” you responded, a huge grin on your face at the thought that your name would be out there in a couple of weeks.

“Okay now for the good stuff, who's your favorite member?” Eunchae asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“They're all my favorite butttt haewonnie, and only ‘cause we’re closer.” you responded. You loved them all but if you were being honest it was definitely Haewon. They all gasped at the revelation. You noticed Yunjin looking at you a bit weird but you brushed it off saying it was nothing. 

“Okay, okay but who’s your favorite le sserafim member?” Chaewon asked, all three of them looked at you expectantly 

“Hmmm, if I had to choose Kazuha.” You said her name really fast, almost slurring it but they all had caught it and saw the grin growing on your face. 

“I'M TELLING KAZUHA UNNIE THIS!” Eunchae shouted as she pulled out her phone to text this to Kazuha. 

“We’re over, I can’t date someone who prefers my member over me.” Yunjin said in faux disappointment, acting as if she would start crying. 

You got up, walked around the island and went to hug her while saying sorry and that you loved her more while laughing. 

“Okay but you don’t count because my love for you is indescribable and if I were to bring you into it then none of your members would even have a chance.” She seemed to be satisfied by this and grabbed your face to plant a soft sweet kiss on your lips 

“EWWW THERE'S A KID HERE!” Eunchae said, screaming while covering her eyes. 

Chaewon on the other hand was awwwing at how cute you too were while you had your face flushed red and hidden in Yunjin's chest. You and Yunjin had been dating for years yet you still had the same red face every time she initiated physical contact. 

(Woah)You stress me out, you kill me, you drag me down, you fuck me up we're on the ground, we're screamin' i dont know how to make it stop i love it, i hate it, and i can't take it but i keep on comin' back to you

“God, you’re so possessive. get over it! I can have friends other than you, you’re always trying to dictate my relationships and I’m SO over it!” She yelled at you, and you whimpered at her harsh words

Your lips slowly formed a pout feeling your lips wobbling, a telltale sign you were gonna start crying. Usually the sight of you crying would calm Yunjin down but it didn’t this time, it only infuriated her more. 

“Oh my god, no way you’re gonna start crying now.” She said in disbelief as you tried to hold back your tears to prove her wrong.

“I'm sorry for actually feeling emotions, unlike you. Am i not allowed to be upset when i see millions of people shipping you, MY girlfriend with another. And it's not like you do anything to beat the dating allegations. Pulling her onto your lap calling her pet names you should be using on ME!” you said panting as you had screamed all that out. 

You thought that maybe getting all that out she’d understand at least a little of how you were feeling. You saying all that though was a huge mistake, it only made her even more mad, you only realized your mistake when you saw her mouth open and the look on her face of complete rage.

“Ohh so now this is my fault? My fault for being comfortable with my friends? Have you ever seen me comment on your relationship with Mina? You're basically dating her with how close you two are, you call her every name in the book, you literally call her your soulmate. Have I ever said anything about that? No, because unlike you I was happy when you finally found a friend that wasn't me and I encouraged your friendship with her if anything. Stop acting as if you own me, you're genuinely such a shitty person, what the hell do you want from me? For me to completely isolate myself from all the girls? As my girlfriend you should be happy for me, that i have such good friends in my group but nooo. This is what I get? I can really see where your priorities are.” if you weren't crying before you were definitely sobbing by now.

You were always a sensitive person and hearing all this coming from her made you wanna bury yourself in a hole. You never felt more selfish and it made you so mad at yourself for only thinking of your feelings. You understood where she was coming from and all you could think of was how to make this up to her. 

You knew you could counter her points easily as you and mina still had boundaries and she knew about how you ignored mina for the first few weeks of you two dating. It was because you were unsure of your feelings towards Mina but that wasn't the only reason. You saw that Yunjin was getting jealous with the thought that you cared more about Mina as more than a friend. This was also a major reason as to why you distanced yourself from Mina. 

You also talked to her about it, you asked her if she was comfortable and fine with you and mina being friends. After that conversation she never doubted your relationship with mina. You could also bring up the fact that you and Mina shut down ANY idea of you two dating when your friendship was first discovered by the public. You had always made it known how good of a friend  Mina was. You and Mina were known as nothing more than friends. 

But alas, you didn't want to fight anymore, you just wanted this to stop. You loved her and she loved you and as her lover causing these problems shouldn't be a thing you should do.

“I'm sorry babe, you're right I was being unreasonable and you are allowed to have friends, i don't want you to think you aren't. I just really don't want to fight anymore. Can we please just go to sleep? I love you and I don't like fighting with you.” you said sniffling and wiping your tears as you walked towards her wanting a hug. 

You could tell by the way she wrapped her arms around you she didn't want to, but seeing you crying and looking to her for comfort for the tears she caused made her happy. She was happy that she was the one you found comfort in no matter the reason, but it did not overlook the fact that she was still MAD. you were aware of this fact yet you didn't let it phase you as you held onto her shirt tighter burying your face in her chest as you gripped her shirt in your fists.

Yunjin wanted so badly to embrace you tighter but she couldn't, she wouldn't. You needed to know that you couldn't just pull this shit then expect it all to go away as soon as you cry. It hurt her to hurt you like this but your words really made her mad and the more she thought of your guyses fight the more her sympathy for you left. 

She wouldn't leave you alone crying though, as mad as she was at you she wasn't heartless and she still cared for you a lot. She picked you up bridal style and carried you to your room, your face still buried in her shirt and you hiccuped in between your sobs. She laid you down slowly and as soon as her back hit the bed you snuggled up against her and soon enough you fell asleep. When your members came back to the dorm they awwed at the sight of you two snuggled up together and took pictures of it not knowing about the fight that transpired leading up to it. 

The next morning when you awoke she was gone, all she left behind was a small note saying to text her when you weren't as selfish and didn't think you could dictate her relationships. You silently sobbed as you read the note knowing you couldn't cry too loud or else your members would hear and they would worry for you.

You didn't want anyone to see Yunjin in a bad light, especially not your members. That morning Yunjin’s phone was blown up with messages from you telling her how sorry you were and that you would never ‘dictate’ her relationships again, and begging her to respond(she didn't). 

I know my friends they give me bad advice, like move on get you out my mind, but don't you think i haven't even tried you got me cornered and my hands are tied

It had been a whole two weeks since Yunjin had unofficially ended things with you, you hadnt left bed other than to go to mina’s dorm and lay in her bed. The only thing that kept you going was the thought that she hadn’t fully ended things. 

“Dude, just stop thinking of her, it's that simple. If you don't think of her you won't remember what happened and you won't be depressed. Also when will you tell your members about the break up?” Mina said from right next to you as you were both lying in her bed. 

“Ughhh it's really not as easy as you say, you've been there since we started dating. Of all people you should get that, and it's not like I wanna be hung up on her, and it’s not an official break up, just a break. Shes doing this for the stupidest fucking reason too, Like maybe if it was something serious but this!? This is literal bullshit.” you said your arms flailing around trying to get your disbelief at this whole situation out. 

“Babe you and I both know you definitely don't wanna get over her with those daily messages and I think I know the reason you haven't told your members. I just wanna hear you say it so you can hear for yourself how badly you still want her.”

“Okay, maybe I don't wanna get over her, but is that so unexpected? We've been together for years. I love her more than anyone, and yes i haven't told the members because if she does accept my apologies and does take me back then i don't want them to see her in a bad light. I don't wanna give them a reason to dislike her because I know they'll hold it against her by seeing how badly the ‘breakup’ affected me.” you replied looking down at the fingers you were fiddling with.

Even mina didn't know the full truth, she obviously knew most of it but not all of it, always the one to protect Yunjin you were. She obviously knew about how bad Yunjin’s anger issues were, that was common knowledge. You had told her about the fight but left out the parts that you could've said to counter Yunjins statement. 

She didn't think either of you were wrong, although she obviously favored you as you were her best friend. She wanted to hate Yunjin for doing this to you and making you so sad but she couldn't. Not with knowing how much the girl loved you. She knew this would pass, no way you two could stay away from each other.

You got me so addicted to the drama i tell myself i'm done with wicked games but then i get so numb with all the laughter that i forget about the pain

Minas' predictions turned out to be true, the next day Yunjin messaged you back. You were ecstatic, she had asked to meet up with you to talk and you obviously agreed. 

“I'm so sorry Jen, I was really wrong and I don't think I can bear to lose you. You're the love of my life, the only person I'll ever love, please take me back.” you said all in one breath looking at her intently.

“Nono, I'm sorry,I was such a dick. I promise you I'll never do ‘this’ again or even hurt you again. This break made me realize how much I needed you and how much I can't live without you. I love you so much, so please, will you take me back?” she asked with uncertainty as she stared at you, you felt the same way you felt back in her room all those years ago when she confessed to you, and she looked the same. 

Your reply was obviously a yes, a big yes. You jumped on her and squeezed her as tight as you could while crying. You were so happy, this was WAY more than what you expected, she had actually reflected on her actions and apologized. You were over the moon.

And I guess you’ll never know  all the bullshit that you put me through and i guess you'll never know, no

Breaking news: LE SSERAFIM’s Huh Yunjin seen out with aespas Ningning! Both of them getting a little closer than usual friends, if the angles were better god knows what we’d have seen.

What. The. Fuck. Those were your only thoughts as you read through the article then saw the pictures below. You couldn’t tell because of the angle but it definitely looked like they were kissing. You didn’t know how to feel, your members burst into your room looking at you worriedly. By the look on your face they could tell you had seen the news. 

Everything was hazy, you just asked Haewon to drive you to Minas place and she obliged seeing the state you were in. You were completely silent the whole way there, the whole car was silent except the faint sound from the outside of the car. It was like you had turned off your emotions, but as soon as you saw Mina waiting there on the sidewalk for you you burst out into tears

Mina knew you’d come to her after reading the news of what happened and so she sat there waiting at the gate of her apartment building. As soon as you stepped out of the car she saw that you burst into tears. She ran up and to your side to hug you and lead you into her apartment.

You knew that many other people lived in this building and that they could all see you sobbing into Mina’s shirt but you didn’t let that phase you. Other opinions on you were the last thing on your mind. 

“I’m going to beat the fucking shit outta her.” Those were the first words to leave Mina's mouth once you entered her flat. 

She was pacing around the room, her hands running through her hair, you didn't think you'd ever seen her more mad. Mina was always the calm one, the one who never let anything get to her. This time Mina was livid, she was so done with Yunjin pulling this type of stupid shit and you forgiving her,

You wanted to say something, scream even, but you couldn’t get any words out of your mouth. Whenever you started crying really hard, the sobs would always be followed up with hiccups and because of this you couldn’t seem to speak. 

“I…” you felt so frustrated, you wanted to speak, tell her how mad you were but you couldn't seem to get it out.

Seeing this Mina sat down next to you, her anger seeming to dissolve at the sight of you, she wrapped her arms around you and didnt say anything. She just sat there with you, Mina had known you since you were in 8th grade, she knew how to calm you down. 

After a while of crying you calmed down a bit. The small things Mina had been whispering to you had helped a lot and you finally felt like you could speak.

“I-I can't believe she would do this, I can't believe she would throw everything away like this— am I not good enough? Where did I go wrong?” you sobbed out into Minas shirt.

Minas heart broke seeing your state of distress, she had never been more mad. She wanted to kill Yunjin at that very moment, you deserved so much better than that cheating bitch. She wanted desperately to say this to you but she knew it wouldn't do you any good so she kept these feelings to herself.  

NMIXX’s l/n y/n seen crying at TWICE’s Mina’s apartment building with Mina comforting her just 20 minutes after Huh Yunjin was seen with Ningning. Could there be a connection between these two idols? We’re aware of Yunjin and y/n’s friendship but could it be something more?

Comments:

Anonymous: omg i was there when y/n arrived at the building, mina ran to her side and guided her all the way up. Poor y/n she's so lucky to have a good friend like mina but istg if huh yunjin had anything to do with this ill hunt her down. 

Anonymous: this is what ive been saying!!! y/n and yunjin are wayyy too close to be normal friends. Huh yunjin sucks ass, she cheated on my girl y/n and god knows what else shes done. 

Anonymous: y/n come be with me, id never cheat on you or put you through what yunjin does. God knows how yunjin even pulled y/n, y/n is like an angel and to cheat on her is actually insane. Who in their right mind would cheat on THE l/n y/n!

Fuck, fuck, fuck. That was the only word going through Yunjins mind, how could she have been so careless and gotten caught? As she read the comments on the article she felt even worse than before, y/n gave her everything she needed. Why did she have to be so dumb? Why had she gone out and ruined everything? 

As soon as Yunjin arrived at her dorm she mentally prepared herself for what her members were gonna say. She took a deep breath, unlocked the door and entered. She found all of her members sitting on the couch in her living room in silence as she walked in and headed towards them. Kazuha had to be physically restrained by Chaewon so as to not hurt Yunjin right then and there. She was the closest out of the members to you and she wanted nothing more than to deck Yunjin in the face. 

“Why, why would you do that to her? She's literally the girlfriend ANYONE would kill for, she's perfect, she could easily bag anyone in this industry yet she chose you. Why would you do this to her?” Chaewon asked Yunjin in a calm tone which surprised Yunjin, she looked like she'd explode any minute. Her face was red and Yunjin could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears.

“I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why I did it, I wish I didn't. I really wish I could take it back.” Yunjin said, her hand running through her hair as she stood in front of everyone.

“You only wish you could take it back because you were caught, if this wasn't released i bet you wouldn't regret it, hell I bet you’d do it again.” Kazuha said and Yunjin could hear the anger seeping into her voice. 

Yunjin couldn't say anything to retort that because she honestly didn't know if she would. she wanted to say she wouldn't that she regretted it because she loved you but was that really the truth?

(yeah) so you can cut me up and kiss me harder you can be the pill to ease the pain 'cause i know i'm addicted your drama baby here we go again

“Baby please, just listen to me, please just give me a chance to explain.” Yunjin begged as she stood at Mina's door, Mina had made the mistake of opening it not knowing who was at the door and now Yunjin wouldn't leave. 

“Get the fuck out.” Mina said through gritted teeth, she had balled her fists up, and was trying her best not to hit Yunjin. She swore if she didn't leave in the next 5 minutes she wouldn't hold back anymore, for the sake of you though, she endured 5 minutes.

“Please just let me talk to her.” Yunjin begged as she tried to look over Mina's shoulders to get a look at you but Mina had completely blocked any views inside. 

“I swear to god if you don't leave right now…'' Mina said, again trying to get Yunjin to leave but for obvious reasons Yunjin hadn't given up and Mina had counted 5 minutes. 

Mina had never been a violent person, nor someone to get angry easily but Yunjin was really getting on her nerves and her not leaving pissed her off even more. The next action Mina took came as a big surprise to Yunjin because she would have expected this from anyone but mina. Mina had decked Yunjin square in the face. 

Mina had not held back AT ALL on this punch as it sent Yunjin to the ground with a bleeding nose and a cut on her lip caused by Mina’s ring. She held her face in her hands as she looked at Mina dumbfounded. She got up but she didn't attempt to hit Mina in return. She knew this was of her own doing and Mina was not to blame for being a good friend. 

Hearing a loud thump on the ground, you ran out of Mina's room and to the door to see Yunjin with blood dripping from her mouth and nose. You held your hand over your mouth in a gasp as you looked at Mina. She simply shrugged and said ���she had it coming’ you brushed past Mina and out the door to Yunjin.

“Mina I'm gonna go with her now, if she's this determined to talk to me then I guess i have to talk to her. You kissed Mina on the cheek and hugged her as you whispered ‘i'll be fine’ in her ear. This didn't help calm down Mina's worries though. 

“Anything happens you call me, alright?” you nodded in response to this as you left with Yunjin letting her wrap her arm around your waist.(only because she was hurt right?)

As you two reached the ground level of the building you realized that you two would most likely be seen by paparazzi. They would see her bloodied face, as you were gonna start worrying about that you felt Yunjin come to a stop, you were in front of her car.

“I'm driving.” you said with no room for arguing, hearing your tone she simply handed you the car keys as she got in the passenger's seat. 

The car ride to her dorm was relatively silent, you figured you were gonna go there, seeing as if you were to take her to your dorm she’d definitely leave with a couple of broken bones. Yunjin was on her phone to text into the le sserafim group chat to tell them to leave because she was bringing you there. 

While waiting in the elevator to reach the floor in which her dorm resided you were scrolling on your phone and you saw your earlier suspicions confirmed. There was an article written on how Yunjin had left your dorm with blood on her face and holding you. You almost laughed at how fast they were to write these articles. 

You still couldn't believe this was happening, everything was happening so fast you almost didn't process it, this felt like a dream. A really really bad dream, you even pinched yourself in case this was a dream. If this was a dream it would definitely be the worst one you've had. 

When you two entered her dorm it was completely empty, she led you to her room and motioned you to sit down next to her on her bed. As much as you hated her at this moment you didn't want to leave her with blood on her face as you talked to her so without saying anything you went to enter the bathroom that was connected to her room. 

You practically lived here, even having a toothbrush left here so you knew where everything was. You looked in the drawer that had all the first aid stuff and pulled out the first aid kit. You sat down facing her on the bed and she turned her body to face you too. You took her face in your hand as you picked up an alcohol pad and gently wiped the blood off of her cut lip. 

Usually this would hurt but even when you were kids, Yunjin never made a big deal when she was hurt. She was always strong, especially when it came to getting hurt. As a kid you admired her for this, you always thought she was really cool for keeping a smile on her face when the teachers would put alcohol on her injuries. 

You would always call her your strong girl, she loved that nickname and you loved her. But would she even be your girl anymore? The thought that she wouldn't be made you want to lock yourself in a room and never leave. She was the only person you would ever love. if it wasn't her you wouldn't love anyone else, you only wanted her. But did she even want you?

You didn't notice when you started crying, you only realized it when you felt her soft hand caress your face. She slowly wiped your tears and when you realized you were crying you started crying even harder. 

“Why? Why did you have to like someone else? Where did i go wrong, i only ever loved you and i'll only ever love you. Please don't leave me, you're all I have, I swear I'll be a better girlfriend. I swear I'll make you love me more.” you begged in between sobs, you told yourself you wouldn't go back, you couldn't.

But you couldn't help it, you would always go back to her.

#le sserafim #huh yunjin #yunjin x reader #fem!reader #yunjin x fem reader #huh yunjin x reader #fanfic #yunjin #yunjin le sserafim #le sserafim x reader #le sserafim x you #new york #mina #myoui mina #sharon myoui #mina x reader #mina x you #mina x y/n #chaewon #kazuha #eunchae #kim chaewon #le sserafim imagines #yunjin imagines #girl group #kpop imagines #x reader imagine #girl group imagines #fem reader #hrts4soyeon

[golden--doodler]

Bob and Gene's relationship is so important to me 😭

I could write actual essays about them, but their relationship, when it actually gets a bit of focus, is the sweetest, most endearing thing on planet earth. People who say they don't like each other have obviously not seen the show, because these two adore each other. Here are these two people who are so different, and usually don't understand each other, but always try to anyway. And despite their differences, they have some notable similarities they can bond over as well.

Especially when it comes to Bob. Even though Gene is way more eccentric and enthusiastic than he ever was (and is), he never puts down Gene for his interests and instead encourages them. And he's willing to give Gene some extra confidence whenever he needs it. One of my favorite examples is this exchange from the episode "Best Burger":

Gene saying he's always admired Bob gets. me. every. time!!!!! It's so clear by this scene how much Gene loves his dad, and just wants to do right by him! For anyone who says Gene was annoying or frustrating in this episode, I point to this scene--he was genuinely remorseful for getting distracted (which is very normal for a kid his age) and gave Bob a compliment that I'm sure he cherished despite the fact that he was crunched on time. Sure, Louise admires Bob as well, but would never outright say it like Gene, so I'm sure Bob has a soft spot for his son because of this moment. Also, I think it's so sweet how despite running out of time and being stressed, he still apologizes to Gene for snapping. There are a lot of layers to this scene, which is why it's one of my favorites.

Then, of course, there's Bob being the best Autism Dad in "The Laser-Inth", but I've already said so much about this episode:

He just wants to share his interests with Gene and is so sweet and understanding when Gene gets sensory overload 🥲

Oh yes, and then there's "Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid", where Bob says that he loves to feed Gene and him offering to eat with Gene once Gene gets all better 🥺:

Gene inheriting Bob's love of food is so sweet and lovely 😭 Also, I love how supportive Bob is of Gene's Thanksgiving song. And he saying that Gene was the only one excited about his new, experimental Thanksgiving menu--

Oh yes, and there was the episode where they got trapped on a trapeze, and Bob said he'd never let anything happen to Gene! They indeed have a beautiful relationship:

Bob is always there to calm Gene whenever he's feeling stressed, and I love it. He feels like Gene's rock, in a way, a shoulder he can always lean on whenever he needs it.

And that time they got excited about fixing Helen's sink!!! That was so adorable. Plus, it led to one of the best outros of the whole show:

Guess what? I'm not even done yet! One of my absolute favorite moments of them was in the episode "Boys Just Wanna Have Fungus", and at the end, they call each other their heroes. I mean 🥹

They admire each other so much! And I agree that they'd probably be able to survive at least a couple days in the Apocalypse together. It helps that Bob's a cook.

And more recently, there was the time Gene realized how terrible VR is, and despite his nausea, Bob stuck around the whole time:

He didn't have to stick around, he just wanted to, because he felt bad about Gene having a bad time. He would move heaven and earth for his son no matter what, and it's so beautiful to see.

I could list more examples, but I think you get the idea. Not only do Bob and Gene love each other, but they have one of the strongest and sweetest relationships in the series.

#bob belcher #gene belcher #they're so important to me you don't understand #sure gene loves linda so much and is quite similar to her #but he's actually said himself that he looks up to bob!!! he loves his dad so much and wants to do right by bob #and bob supports whatever gene wants to do and can't handle it whenever gene is sad #he's always there and wants to be a better father than his own and it shows #i like to think in the future gene will look a lot like bob and will maybe dedicate a song or two to bob #Youtube

[madameminor]

WHY I DON'T LIKE TECH x PHEE: An unintentional essay

Alright, yall, I've figured it out on my end. I think. I just need to get some of this out so that I can move past it. I'm not even gonna tag it under tech x phee, cause you know what, I don't want to harsh the mellow over in that space, I'm just voicing what I've discovered.

This is long.

Wanda Sykes: I LOOOOOVE Wanda Sykes, love her - love her so much that I can't see anyone else with her voice. A 60 year old lesbian comedian... and you want to make her a 20 something pirate captain flirting with a male cl- no. No. Capital N. O. Like, I thought she and Rhea Perlman were going to be a fun comedic, older duo playing off of each other. Or that they'd have some sort of sassy relationship. But instead she's a coy, fun adventurer who starts to join in TBB family? Nope. No. Didn't sell it for me. Gimme someone else, might have worked. Try Anika Noni Rose, or if you need that star factor, Halle Barry or Beyonce or, for fucks sake LIZZO (can you imagine her beautiful voice as Phee? OOOO I just shivered. Loved her as the Duchess, but her as Phee! Instantly WAAAAY more excited about that character.) Not Wanda Fucking Sykes (like I said, LOVE her. But no. Choices.)

The Build Up: You guys. We are all literally writers. Where were the beats? Where were the moments? You naturally want there to be a moment the audience goes 'ooooooh yeah ok I see it'. IT HAPPENED WITH HUNTER. The next day I remember quite a few of us going 'OMG YES!!! Yes, totally ship that, saw the chemistry with Phee and Hunter! Into iiiiit.' I resisted that one too, cause of the Wanda Sykes thing, but you know what? IT. WORKED. I went with it cause it worked. Was actually kind of excited. Was looking forward to the fics. Did not happen once with Tech, never saw anyone go 'oh look at that chemistry between pirate and genius'. NOPE BTW SUDDENLY THEY'RE ALL TEASING TECH AND TECH AND PHEE ARE IN A SCENE AND THIS IS ALL ABOUT THESE TWO TAH DAAAAH! No. Nope. Not how it works. Feels like my favorite is getting the shitty end of the romance arc stick. Fuck off, no. We have all written better.

Toxic Matchup: The way Phee (see dude, I almost wrote Wanda. Thats how much I can't not see her in this character) treats Tech. One of my mutuals on here, @shadestepping, put it perfectly - "It’s because instead of understanding who tech is as a person and being respectful of how his mind works, she tries to force him to mask because it’s what she wants/it makes communicating with him easier". The example that keeps popping into my head is when Phee sarcastically says "when two people are talking its called a conversation". My eyebrows shot UP, like, this is one of the FIRST THINGS YOU LEARN about Tech- his face is in his datapad. Treating him like an idiot (which is what it sounds like in Wanda voice) because he is doing what he is always doing is not ok (seriously, WTF, dude?). Another mutual, @dumfanting agreed and shared how that hit them: "As someone whose been forced to mask for her entire life, that is wrong and damaging and perpetuates the idea that we as austitics are only worthy of love if we continue to suppress ourselves." And it really doesn't have to be that way. I can rewrite every scene they are in together, still have her be sassy, have her show interest and respect for who he is, and still move him out of his comfort zone. I will do it, if I need to, just to prove it. If the writers are trying to give her some growth too, cool, then TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT - instead we only hear how HE's being taken out of his comfort zone. How about HER? You want to be with him? Maybe you have to meet him half way, honey

Ultimately, I could have gotten behind this if it was done another way - but the way they went about it missed so many marks. And for my man, that's unacceptable to me. He deserves the best, not something thrown together.

I have spoken.

(Ok, I think that is out of my system.)

#kind of geek therapy #geek therapy for me #cause expressing thoughts and feelings appropriately are good for me #tbb tech #the bad batch

[that-bisexual]

genderfluid= at best very confused at worst attention seeker, which are you?

i know your a kid so im saying this out of trying to help you (though i know you'll take this as hate and think im an evil tRAnSpHoBe)

I promise you that people who know about this are laughing at you. The majority of people in the real world think people who make being queer a personality or take on try hard identities are a joke. They may not say this to your face, but they are making fun of you behind your back.

and tbh, this *not like other genders* stuff is very white girl coded lol

It's a harsh truth, I was like you once. But I grew up and became very embarrassed of my former self. If youre LGB, thats fine. If youre actually trans (FTM or MTF) with dysphoria thats fine. But "genderfluid" or "demigirl" are looked at like ~not like other girls~ or pick me stuff....

you probably have interests and hobbies that are actually interesting, I definitely recommend developing a personality and leaving this uwu special identity stuff behind

I know you wont take this seriously right now, and you'll probably think im attacking you and being mean, Im legit trying to help though and I hope you keep this on the back of your mind

at the very least keep doing what your doing and keep the gender fluid/demigirl stuff private IRL, it'll be less cringe and you'll be thankful in 10 years that you werent the laughingstock of your school

Ok normally I delete things like this in my ask box but I find this one funny actually. So I'm going to dissect why this is funny for you all. Ok the first thing that made me laugh was the fact that it's anon. Like you're really not even brave enough to show your face lol. Number two the first SENTENCE sounds like the intro to a 500 word essay I would find on a transphobic blog. And the next paragraph...ok I laughed out loud. "evil tRAnSpHoBe" are you not? You're telling me I'm confused about my identity. Why would you care unless you're transphobic? Even if not about all trans people but specific identities. Third paragraph, I haven't come out to many people so nobodies laughing at me in real life just to clarify. If people are sitting here scrolling through my blog and laughing at me I really don't care. I hope they keep wasting their lives doing this really. Ok next paragraph, white girl coded, not like the other genders. What? What? I'm laughing what? I have never said that I'm "not like the other genders" What does that even mean? I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Ok the pick me girl stuff I do not give a shit what other people think. I don't. I label myself as genderfluid because it makes me happy. Ok and the "actually trans" That is some transphobic shit right there. Just sayin. And I do have dysphoria thank you very much. uwu special identity?? What? Where did you pull that from?? Again I only label myself as genderfluid because I fit there, that is how I feel, and because it makes me happy I DO NOT CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT IT. And the pretend like you're helping stuff transphobic shit that happens too often. The keep it private shit. No. No thanks bitch :) I run this blog because it obviously makes nearly 400 people happy. I run this blog as a safe space for people. I don't care. Ok? But thank you anon for making me laugh today.

#lol

[suspendingtime]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I've been tagged by @stars-of-kyber and @andthebubbles. 😁 So although I feel barely qualified, I guess I best do this...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7. 🤗

I started about 2 months ago, so... and yes, they're all Kanthony. Initially just started as a way of contributing to Anthony Week 2023, and I didn't even expect that I'd actually do all 7 days.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

13,370.

Currently ranging at 661 to 3,779 per fic. Rookie numbers!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far, just my beloved Bridgerton.

But there have been a couple other shows that have tempted me...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Astride  - 166

Nursery  - 118

Hunt - 105

Yours - 94

Temptation - 88

Having published a handful with various ratings, it's quite interesting to see the kudos, bookmarks (private vs public), and subs ratios! Much to think about.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes.

Why... I sort of have a need? Idk, when I see a comment it's hard to just leave it hanging there and not to reply. Like irl if someone looked at something I made and verbally commented on it... and I just stared back blankly not saying anything. 😐 This is how it feels to me on the receiving end at least haha. And my replies saying various forms of 'Thank you!' is probably quite repetitive, but hey ho.

Plus comments give you that lil hit of dopamine; from both povs as a writer or reader. Being on the reader side for most of my Ao3 activities I tend to comment on most of fics I read, I can't help it - I must tell you what I loved about it and why, and there's a pleasure in reciprocating that back too. Look, now I've written half an essay on the subject, gaaah. (I've not been on Ao3 as much as I'd like to recently, and because I opened it to scoop out the stats for some of the questions above I can now see that I have some unreads... and the need is happening.)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm *thinking really hard*, I don't think any of them have an ending that is all that angsty. If I had to choose, maybe Temptation?

The pattern I've shown so far in my posted works is that it's gonna be 90% fluff. Though that is liable to change. 😆

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Nursery?

I'm not sure, cause they've all ended on a pretty optimistic note so far. But that one has Kate and Anthony with a few of their kids, so it's the furthest on the Kanthony HEA timeline.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet...

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ummm 👀 I may have dabbled in some smut.

What kind... hm, the kind where both people are panting for each other, and end up caving because they literally can't hold their horniness in anymore (this totally explains why I went feral for Bridgerton S2, ha). Another pattern I seem to have is making Anthony a submissive man puddle.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not yet, but I do have some crack ideas I may explore.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, I very much doubt it.

How often does this happen to people?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I'd certainly be all for it if anyone ever wanted to translate any works of mine. 😊

If I was proficient enough to write in other languages, then I would probably try publishing the different versions from the get go.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Kinda?

Nothing formal, but there was a lengthy comment thread on Reddit some months ago where myself and another user went back and forth re-writing the script for that stormy library scene 😅 (not so much re-writing what was already there, bar the last few lines, more of a continuation in a universe where Kate hadn't fled).

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Must I even answer this? Kanthony, c'mon now.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There's only 1 work that I have, where I've actually started a chapter 2. And I have all the faith that I will finish it. ✍️🤓

Other potential WIPs, that are currently just posted as one shots, only exist in my head... who knows if they will see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

This question feels illegal to be asked.

I have no idea, I'm very new to this whole writing thing. At least in terms of fiction, so I'm not sure what I'd consider my strengths to be. I feel like I need some more practice before I can get a real sense of this?

I would say that dialogue usually comes very quickly to me, and it's having to fill in the bits around it that takes more brain muscles. So that might indicate something.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything apart from the answer to the question above.

But really I think it's remembering that there is a world outside of the main couple happening, and trying to describe the details there. Also other general 'setting the scene' stuff like clothing, weather etc etc. I usually just want to jump straight in with some random dialogue.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

On writing it... no thoughts; not done it yet!

If I needed to for some unknown fic reason in the future, I'm sure I'll be apologising profusely in the author notes for trusting Google translate and probably butchering whatever language it is.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Still just the one so far, Bridgerton. 😌

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Hunt 🥺🥹 I was a lot of feels, and just very indulgent tbh.

I also really enjoyed my shortest one, Obedient, which was in 2nd person (hadn't done that before). The writing of that one was just really fun and I idky but I've reread it quite a bit!

__________________________________________________

I'm woefully looking at my Ao3 bookmarks (which has grown exponentially since joining Tumblr), full of things that I've not got round to reading yet. So I'm tagging partly based on stuff hanging out on top of that pile: @islemeadow, @ladykettlechips, @hydriotaphia, @eleanor-bradstreet, and the smut aunties @colettebronte & @fayes-fics 😋 (if y'all wanna do it, ofc. I tried to find those who hadn't been tagged/done it yet, sorry if you've actually already done this and I've just not found it).

#20 questions for fic writers #tag game #fanfic writing #fan fiction

[emelinstriker]

About those 3 Anon messages recently...

Yes, there's 3 now. Third on came up while I was finishing typing about the 2nd one.

tl;dr context: peeps defending a fictional 2D lego character, questioning the morality of esau (despite the lack of lore context), as well as for some reason a personal attack on me... also smol chinese jesus??? :'D

DISCLAIMER:

I respect y'all's opinions and headcanons and whatnot. It's all valid. However. I expect respect on my own opinions and headcanons return. That's literally all I'm asking.

That's common sense and I will from this point on just delete anyone else's anon asks if they try to argue with me about my standings on these matters mentioned in here. Or this post in general.

There's literally no point in arguing over words written in a story, or debating whether or not pixels on a screen are hot or not.

With that disclaimer being said...

Case 1:

I'm fully aware of the entire discussion thing of Nezha being eternally 12 and all that, but I'm also fully aware of how LMK Nezha is more of a parody on the original. LMK Nezha is more of an adult 2D character who took the characteristics of the source, but then was turned into an aged-up parody.

It's not weird with the context of how things even came to be in the AU. It does involve a form of "infection" that changes those that are infected. In ESAU it's just slightly different from my original story's OCs to appeal more to the Reader. There are people out there who seek comfort in their own superiority complex too, especially if they can never explore that part of themselves normally. If that doesn't appeal to you, that's fine. But don't assume it's weird just because you don't like it if a fictional master/servant relationship isn't for you.

Now, this ask wasn't really bad or directly disrespectful. That was just basic questioning on the general relationship of the AU as well as the LMK Nezha being 12 discussion. So I went to bed, cuz I didn't wanna respond with my rather aggressive response to the topic. Like, I ranted about it to my Discord server, but it was already around midnight and I knew I'd come off as aggressive, despite the logic and facts, if I just copy n pasted the way I phrased the rant. So I went to bed. But then I woke up to an essay in another ask...

Case 2:

I'm assuming this is the exact same person, based on the timeframe and the writing style..? Maybe even the same person who asked that question about whether I'd make Nezha's relationship towards the Reader romantic or platonic..??

For the sake of this entire thing being unworthy of an unnecessary discussion, as well as the fact that the person sending this isn't worth directly responding to if they hide behind an anon face, knowing they would get flamed, I will solely respond to these for my actual viewers, who do enjoy ESAU.

As in, I noticed how almost every single point is easily arguable. Like, they literally just made it up as if every single relationship between the Reader and their champions is romantic. Which couldn't be further from the truth. This is a point I wanna get more into due to how it covers the Master System more. A random anon sending me questions, or rather statements, like this doesn't deserve to get a detailed response to this directly either. My viewers do deserve more insight though. Be it to avoid more people thinking this is automatically grooming, or just to give interested people more lore dump.

To keep it short: Everyone who wants to be a Reader, is a Reader. I myself am a Reader of fiction, which is why I use my persona to fill in the Reader's space in any drawing I do for ESAU. Which is also why Macaque referred to their Master currently being female in that one drawing- Because in that moment, in my drawings, I'm technically seen as their Master.

So when you see the champions swap between their Master using non-binary or female pronouns, this is why. If you see me draw them referring to their Master as a "she", they're referring to basically their current Master in that exact moment. However, literally anyone else can also be placed in that spot.

Whenever I refer to a Reader's reincarnation, I usually mean either "the same person, but another life" OR "different people of the same/a different life". As in, the Reader can imagine themselves having had multiple past lives, or their "past life" is actually another Reader. We're all the Reader. That's why I kept saying the Master System is rather philosophical.

The Reader can imagine themselves if they met their champions as a child or as an adult. However, nothing in ESAU is forced to be romantic or sexual. If you were born as a prince/princess/royalty, that doesn't mean your servants are immediately destined to be romantic or sexual with you, right? That entire portion is up to the Reader to decide and imagine. I do not control what another person thinks of and imagines. If they chose to pick a darker path, the fuck do you want me to do about that? Unless it ends up hurting anyone, or they actively push the topic onto others, I see no issue with however a Reader wants to think up what happens in their life with their servants. All I do is create material for others to play with.

Except for the First Master, any other Reader can be considered either the same person or various people. That's up to the person behind the screen, whether they feel more comforted with one idea or another.

On the Nezha being 12 topic... Do people know what a parody is, I-

LMK Nezha looks more like THIS-

Not as young as THIS-

And he was never said to be 12 years old in LMK. Nor does he look 12, act 12, speak 12, sound 12... LMK needs to be seen and accepted as more like a parody AU of the original story, if that wasn't obvious enough. I find it funny how they brought up my own age though-

Cuz yeah, I'm 21, almost 22, and I do understand the difference between reality's religions, fictional 2D pixels, and the difference between the source and a parody. Wow. Shocker. I know.

Or as I said it in tags earlier today-

Also I'd just like to add… If we go by the theory of specifically LMK Nezha still being 12, despite literally thousands of years having passed, his body being depicted as a fully grown adult in basically every single goddamn aspect of his character within the show… Literally all he got is his paperwork saying he's 12. Like- LMK Nezha would literally just be one of those people that were born on February 29th. Just him not getting any birthdays. Do you assume after literal thousands of years, with his body and mind being mature, and only his paperwork saying he's 12, this dude wouldn't be tryna explore more of himself and his interests, wh-

Like- LMK Nezha isn't the original source Nezha. Simple as that. Just accept it's a parody and be done with it. If you don't agree with it, that's your opinion and I respect that. But don't you dare fucking push that opinion on others who do actually accept the show as a parody and wanna live out their fantasies in said parody.

Your opinion does not mean it's the opinion of others.

Like, the entire age thing in LMK is such a headcanon thing to the point where no one seems to have a solid age, besides maybe MK, who I've seen people calculate his age for due to his driving license and all that. LMK Nezha is confirmed to be depicted as an adult within the show, which is the headcanon I'm going with, regardless of whatever bullshittery people are trying to argue with.

In conclusion: Nezha may be eternally 12 in a story. But that story is NOT Lego Monkie Kid.

On a side note, something I found ironic and funny, is if an aged up character isn't allowed to be sexualized, then I guess if someone ages a character down, suddenly that original source of the character is no longer allowed to be sexualized either, just because that character suddenly has a younger version of themselves. It's not even the younger version that's being sexualized. That literally is the entire logic of this debate on not wanting a fictional character to have an aged up version of themselves.

Good job, nobody wins. I guess nothing can be sexualized at that point- But then again, Rule 34 wouldn't exist then.

Okay, but now this, THIS is where I got REALLY annoyed, cuz NOW we're getting into more personal territory of nitpicking at ESAU. And those who know me are aware of how I go Asian mom mode when my creations, or younger friends and mutuals, are being wrongfully disrespected.

In general, their entire point is a snowflake-behavior nitpick. Branding is also seen as a way to claim ownership over something. The torture part is basically just the pain of it. I could've also just have the champions have one of those toy stamps for lil children be slapped onto them if you really wanna snowflake it all for tHe PrEcIoUs cHilDrEn...

C'mon. I grew up with FNAF and Creepypastas. Which tend to be usually two of the first fandoms I see children get interested in and hyperfixated on. Mentions of brandmarks that have fully healed ain't nothin' at all.

Like, I literally met a boy who was 8ish years old, who was so happy and hyped about FNAF that he asked me to draw Freddy and Bonnie.

Creepypastas also might make one edgy for a while, but they do grow A LOT from it once they leave that phase. So far, everyone I've ever talked to about Creepypastas in the past became such a good person. Because they look back, and recognize morals so much better. They have seen what bad things can happen and we all know where to draw the line between what's fine, and what's not. Nitpicking on LMK Nezha and ESAU doesn't mean anything since it's just that, nitpicking. I know where to draw the line, but this line these people set is a line no one but themselves can imagine.

Show children bits of reality's darker side and they will know how to deal with the knowledge much better and faster as they grow. That wasn't even just about branding, but I'm tired of people saying how we need to keep children safe. Well yeah, keep them safe physically, but they will never fucking grow and become more independent unless you fucking let them think and process the good AND the bad for themselves.

Also on the topic of adding content warnings- Like, the fuck do you want me to even add? Those asks other people sent of the Reader being basically raised by their servants need no warnings, X Readers in general need no warnings, the brandmarks need no warnings cuz they're just there as aesthetic symbols for anyone not invested in the lore, LMK Nezha needs no content warnings-

Literally the only content warning I'd ever need to add is something like gore, which I do admit I didn't add on the ESAU!Nezha X Reader one.

And I'd just like to add a little something that made me raise an eyebrow: They complained about me going against "Wukong's celibacy vows" when they literally admitted to actively looking through the LMK X Reader tag. While that doesn't necessarily mean they would marry or bang Wukong, that means they're at least curious or interested in what a relationship with any of those characters would be like. Which by all means, would not be possible without it being fiction/fanfiction, and without them having some curiosity or interest in the 2D show of LMK.

Like you're literally telling me I'm practically hurting a fictional character's feelings on the matter, but then turn around and try to get with another character.

Fanfiction and AU's are a thing, man. It's all opinions, headcanons, and literally made up shenanigans. And there's nothing wrong with it when it differs from one person to another.

But dumping empty accusations onto me, someone who thinks more logically than emotionally, literally doesn't help your case. Like, you're debating whether or not this 2D character would actually give a shit if someone would wanna bang them cuz they look hot to the other person.

Case 3:

This one just got dropped into my inbox as I finished typing out the last paragraph and just- This is literally just a unnecessary and only somewhat personal hatred thing at this point- But I'm wheezing at the idea of a smol Chinese Jesus-

Bro, as someone who was forced to be Christian on paper, but never gave a shit about it, because Religion doesn't prove anything or form you, I really don't care. And even if that were the case, I wouldn't complain. It's all fiction dammit. You're again, defending pixels on a screen. Besides that, that wouldn't even be the original source character, again. Also in general, honestly, I see any religious story as fiction anyway. Cuz that literally is what a religion is- You put a belief onto someone over a being/a story-

If you're religious, I respect that. But so do you have to respect that I'm not exactly religious myself.

Case 3 was probably the most directly aggressive one of the 3, but also the most unmeaningful one and so unnecessary one... as if that would be the one to prove a point.

Anyway, rant over, I'm done with this.

If I see any other personal hate on me for not sharing the same fucking opinion on such a niche debate, I'll just ignore and delete it all. This is such a pointless topic.

ESAU is supposed to be a comfort zone for those who actually do feel connected to it. If you don't, that's fine, I fully respect it. If people believe Nezha is 12, I respect that. But don't push that onto those who literally are just here to have a nice time away from shit like this. If you wanna "keep the children safe", fucking keep them away from this sort of nowhere-leading discussion topic.

Literally look at Genshin's Twitter Community, this just feels like the exact same type of unnecessary drama I see there.

And no I will not tag these 3 anons. If they respect me enough, they will either just keep quiet or block me and move on. I don't mind. But I refuse to let this bullshit be a whole ass discussion when I'm just trying to have a good time connecting to my viewers after a long day at work. If they look for a fight for some reason, I won't give them one. They can pick someone else for this bullshit, it's not worth my time as it's all OPINION AND HEADCANON-BASED.

And such debates don't end in peace. So I'd rather be the bigger, more mature person and just say "This is the line. Discussion over. We're done here".

Have a nice day, anyone who actually is nice and respectful towards others and their own takes/opinions on things! Weekend's here now tho so y'all ESAU lovers might see some wholesome lil doodles! :D

#lmk esau #eternal servants au #rant #the fact that all 3 are anons tho and 3rd one tells me to respond #but i'm over here still finding the anon part funny #like- easiest way to solve it is to literally just either block me or have me block you. problem solved. i won't change my opinion on thing #or just block the esau tags idk man #usually i wouldn't just say “ignore if you don't like it” #but in this case that's like the only option #this is a nowhere-leading topic that doesn't need to be discussed further #it's just opinion-based bullshittery #if you see nezha as 12 that's fine #if you see nezha as an adult that's also fine #neither side has to push their opinion onto the other #just let us have our fun and we'll let you have your fun. simple. just accept that humans and human minds differ from another.

[imabitchforjemcarstairs]

I'm assuming (again pls correct me if i'm wrong! :D<3) that ur fav shadowhunter character is Jem!

Would you mind indulging me as to why u love him and his character arc throughout the series? 😊

I am finally attacking this question. I took some time answering it because I wanted to give it justice. Now, bear in mind, that it’s been a while since my last read of TID/GotSM, and I forgot a lot about the series. I will try to give my best answer (and probably come back to this when I will do my huge reread of the whole series before TWP). 

First, I want to clarify that Jem is one of my favourite characters in the series, but not the only one. I could write the same about Will and Tessa. Like, I’m a real herongraystairs trash and the main reason why I continue with the series. I don’t know why, but they stuck with me. I think it’s assumed that Jem is my only fav because of my username, but no, the username was a joke that stuck, and I don’t mind, because I am his bitch, and it made CC giggle when I told her, and according to her, aren’t we all😭

Now, before going to the essay, I would like to say contrary to a lot of the fandom (who like Jem or dislike him), I do not think we have a lot of him. I think he is the most present character, yet, we still know so little of him.

Hear me out, he is the only protagonist with zero POV, in his series, (we got Cecy’s POV in CP2, and she arrived in the epilogue of book 2). Even in GotSM, which is supposed to be a book about Zachariah, and his mission to find the lost Herondale, he still gets sidelined to follow the stories of other characters (Matthew, Anna, Tessa, Celine, Jace, Alec, Livvy and Janus). Zachariah is used as a vehicle to tell us about the other characters' stories, and sometimes we get a glimpse of what he thinks and feels. I would argue that the only real story where we dive into his head, and get to know him is Learn About Loss. Add to the fact that in TID we only see him through the eyes of Will and Tessa, yeah, he’s the character with the most cameos with Magnus, yet what do we know about Jem, other than he is the 3rd person in a love triangle, Will’s parabatai, and Tessa’s second love interest, AND that he is the kindest, selfless character in the series? Practically nothing. 

Like I said above, in TID, we only see him through the eyes of Will and Tessa, who literally see him as this perfect, angelic person. Tessa because she arrives at the institute after 6 weeks of torture, and is in need of kindness and friendship, and eventually falls in love with him. And then we have Will, who sees Jem as his opposite, everything that is pure and kind, and everything that he is not. And because of the inevitable death of Jem and his curse, this bond is what keeps him alive, and he will cherish it like hell (one day I will write an essay on the terms and conditions Will put on his “curse” when he was a kid). So yeah, we have a series written through two protagonists, who see the third as this precious thing, that needs the utmost protection against the world, but also against themselves; see Tessa once she arrived, she started talking about finding cures and defending him against Will, in CP1: 

-      “You should,” Tessa said softly, “think about the way the things you do affect Jem.”

Will rolled his head back against the leather of the chair and regarded her. He looked drowsy and tired and beautiful. He could have been some Pre-Raphaelite Apollo. “Is this a serious conversation now, Tess?” His voice still held humor but was edged, like a gold blade edged in razored steel.

Tessa came and sat down in the armchair across from his. “Aren’t you worried that he’s cross with you? He’s your parabatai. And he’s Jem. He’s never cross. 

“Perhaps it’s better that he’s cross with me,” said Will. “So much saintlike patience cannot be good for anyone.”

“Do not mock him.” Tessa’s tone was sharp.

“Nothing is beyond mockery, Tess.”

“Jem is. He has always been good to you. He is nothing but goodness. That he hit you last night, that only shows how capable you are of driving even saints to madness.”

“Jem hit me?” Will, fingering his cheek, looked amazed. “I must confess, I remember very little of last night. Only that the two of you woke me, though I very much wanted to stay asleep. I remember Jem shouting at me, and you holding me. I knew it was you. You always smell of lavender.”

Tessa ignored this. “Well, Jem hit you. And you deserved it.” […]

“No, you don’t,” Tessa cried in frustration. “Do you think he cares about the danger? Do you? His whole life has been destroyed by this drug, this yin fen, and there you go off to a warlock den and drug yourself up as if it doesn’t even matter, as if it’s just a game to you. He has to take this foul stuff every day just so he can live, but in the meantime, it’s killing him. He hates to be dependent on it. He can’t even bring himself to buy it; he has you do that.” Will made a sound of protest, but Tessa held up a hand. “And then you swan down to Whitechapel and throw your money at the people who make these drugs and addict other people to them, as if it were some sort of holiday on the Continent for you. What were you thinking?”

“But it had nothing to do with Jem at all—”

“You didn’t think about him,” said Tessa. “But perhaps you should have. Don’t you understand he thinks you made a mockery out of what’s killing him? And you’re supposed to be his brother.”

Will had whitened. “He can’t think that”

“ He does,” she said. “He understands you don’t care what other people think about you. But I believe he always expected you’d care what he thought. What he felt.”

That is just an example, but the whole series is like that when it comes to Jem. Them defending him to each other when they fuck up, or defending him against the world, because for them he is that almost angelic person. And that’s cool and all, but what about him as a person? As a whole entity, and not an addition to the other two. (but then I read TLH, and TDA, and I think CC does not know/or doesn’t want to write the three separated from each other, but that is for another discussion, because these three always come in a package deal, and can’t be separated, I guess)

Now, that this is out in the clear, let’s get to the question, why is he one of fav characters? Well, for everything we don’t see, and know about him. And from the little we can get of him in the books. The minimum info on him is so freaking interesting, it just pushes us to read between the lines and do a lot of character study, (academic style) to get to his head.  

Even though the surface-level reading of the character is that he is very kind, empathic, helpful and selfless. Now, that’s normal because Jem is a very discreet character, and in contrast, we have Will, who is very loud, very look at me (because of his curse). At some point, Tessa observes that Jem is like the owner of a very annoying dog. So, in a way, on a first read, he is kind of overshadowed by funny/clown Will. However, the man is funny as hell: 

-      “Jem gave her a wistful look. “Must you go? I was rather hoping you’d stay and be a ministering angel, but if you must go, you must.”

“I’ll stay,” Will said a bit crossly, and threw himself down in the armchair Tessa had just vacated. “I can minister angelically.”

“None too convincingly. And you’re not as pretty to look at as Tessa is,” Jem said, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the pillow.

“How rude. Many who have gazed upon me have compared the experience to gazing at the radiance of the sun.”

Jem still had his eyes closed. “If they mean it gives you a headache, they aren’t wrong.”

-      “A demonic worm,” said Jem, pausing to peer cautiously around a hedgerow. “A great serpent. Would that help your inappropriate humor?”

He is also very eloquent when he wants to be (see Lily in GotSM), in his proposal, his apology to Tessa in CP2, him comforting Charlotte in CP2, etc…

And we also see his flaws, in the series, but there is no emphasis on them. His selfishness. Now, I know, he is a teenage boy, who knows that he is dying, but in that scene in CP2 when he threw Yin Fen in the fire, with no regard for the other members of his family, and how they do not want to lose him. We can also read that he is a very scared person. One because of the trauma he went through, but also because he will not live for a long time. Ex: his rushed engagement to Tessa.

This leads to one flaw we rarely talk about when it comes to Jem, which is his insecurities. His insecurity over his body, hell, even in After the Bridge, which is 100 years later, he was still insecure about his scared body. His insecurity about not being enough to Tessa, and that she deserves the best like his crazy consumption of Yin Fen to be perfect for her in CP2. 

And all of this could have been explored if we had his POV. It would have added depth to his character. In TID, he is a teenage boy who is trying to survive in a country so far from his own. I would have loved to see his feelings over his trauma. I mean he saw his parents die, was tortured, and is still being tortured by what is keeping him alive. I would have loved to see his feelings about being in a way abandoned by his family (Elias) in a foreign country. Being alone at twelve, with no support system. Navigating his new life as a child, the mental and physical toll of having to take the Yin Fen in order to survive, but also how it will eventually kill him. The mental toll of believing and defending his only best friend who was fucking it big during that time, (same for Will, and how mentally draining it must have been to know your only best friend is dying as a child, especially after witnessing the death of his sister but that is for another post). I wanted to see his insecurities regarding his body, in contrast with the body of Will, especially because they are living in a very able-body culture, and how being a Shadowhunter is all they have, and their noble cause. I wanted to see his feelings of how limited he is physically compared to the other Shadowhunters of his age, and how he felt about the critics and remarks the other said about him. And when he was engaged, his feelings about not living for a long time with Tessa, and only giving her little. 

 And later in GotSM, I wanted to see how he felt about his life as a silent brother, and how he was cheated of his death. How he was present in the life of his loved ones, yet not very. I wanted to know how he felt when Elias said that he did not want him to be part of his family. 

Anyway, this is getting too long. But, yeah, my love for Jem is for all that is not written, and what we can deduct from the multiple rereads of the series. I will probably come back to this post when I reread everything, and add stuff to it. 

#ouuf this is long #about #jem carstairs #feel free to add stuff #tsc #ask #emmalovesfitzloved

[kpchrs]

warren is creepy though. he thinks snuff films are funny. he says to max's face that he's disappointed she won't have sex with him within 3 weeks of knowing him. he plays max and brooke off each other by lying about the tickets for the drive in. he knows how to build pipe bombs. he almost beat nathan to death because he was angry.

I was so surprised seeing this LOL I didn't know that that reached people because I thought my hashtags never worked. Not that I expected it to or that I'm great at writing them down either tho. (Turned out seeing the few likes, it did reach people lol). But, well, obviously I didn't go to law school, Anon, you haven't given me time to do it (heh, and also because obviously that's a joke).

I read this on the day you sent the ask to me btw (which was months ago), but it took me a long time to write this because I got distracted so BADLY. So, sorry for the wait... if you are waiting xD I won’t expect anyone, even you, Anon, to read this. I genuinely don’t give a shit if no one reads this, but I still want to try to argue back. My mindset throughout this eSsAy will be as open and fair as I can.

1. "he thinks snuff films are funny."

Okay, let's pull up the script.

Warren: Haha. Make sure you watch Cannibal Holocaust. Max: No fucking way will I watch that. My mind is twisted enough... Warren: I laughed my ass off. (Episode 1: Crystallis)

Okay, first off, Cannibal Holocaust is not a snuff. That’s false. It is a cult classic horror film. It’s one because it’s (one of?) the first of its kind. Also, while it IS controversial and violent and there ARE something inside that are SO BAD WHYDIDTHEYHAVETODOIT, the film actually has an interesting and legit message. I think it’s not weird if Warren, being a fan of disturbing films or obscure films in general, will be interested in watching the so-called “cult classics”.

So regarding why he laughs, a possibility is that he laughs to pretend/show off to Max that he is tough. I mean, he literally shows off his car in that scene, to impress her. Weird flex but okay, bro.

Another possibility which is more probable is it’s because Warren has a dark sense of humour. Max knows this the day she meets him for the first time, that “he’s dark”. You can read it from her diary.

I think he has a higher tolerance than the average person after getting desensitised watching too much horror, which is why he laughs. Because he sees the comedy somewhere. And I think I have an idea where it is. Hint: It’s connected to the message of the film.

The message is the irony of how fast the characters adapt to savagery and exploit the tribe and their culture for the media, which raises the question: “So which one is the savage one? The tribe who people think should have been the ‘uncivilised’ or the characters who should have been the ‘civilised’ ones?” That twist can be funny with a dark sense of humour. Or it can be as simple as how the climax is satisfying/amusing with the characters getting what they deserve after all they have done fucking with the tribe. Hell, if you want to be meta and look into the background story of the filming, you can laugh too at the hypocrisy between the message and the film’s status as an exploitation film.

2. "he says to max's face that he's disappointed she won't have sex with him within 3 weeks of knowing him."

Hmm, that got filtered by your interpretation so let's go back to the root again aka the script to be objective.

Max: So you're sensitive... Warren: Ouch... That sounds awful the way you say it. Max: How so? Warren: Sensitive usually means "won't be having sex with you." Max: Oh, gawd! You need a sensitive woman to kick your ass. (Episode 1: Crystallis)

I want to confess. I had to think hard about what this means, maybe because I didn’t get the reference, because I’m not a native, or just because it’s a bad dialogue. I mean, of course, it sounded bad but I didn’t know EXACTLY what it meant. It took me 6 months to get it… somewhat… From my understanding, he means that “sensitive/nice guys finish last”, no? So the concern is about Nice Guys™?

I won’t wave this off, Anon, it’s still a distasteful comment to say, I admit. But I believe it’s a bad joke made by Warren, an awkward kid, who tries to hit on the girl he got a crush on. The whole scene is about him trying to be smooth, but failing miserably because (1) as I said, he’s awkward, you are not smooth enough, bro; (2) that’s the wrong thing to say, bro; (3) Max is not interested in you, bro (unless you make her be, I guess).

Warren is cringey. I have facepalmed a lot of times listening to him or reading his texts to Max, but we are all cringey in our teenage years. I don’t want to elaborate on my cringey-ness but I want to at least tell you that I did have a Warren, Anon. I rejected him hard and harshly (which I regret but I was also a teenage kid). But he was ultimately a good kid and we are still close friends. He’s matured and thriving now and I have no doubt if Warren were real, he would mature and thrive too now.

3. "he plays max and brooke off each other by lying about the tickets for the drive in."

Okay, let’s search for those. 

Warren: BTW, the drive-in is actually popular so I'm buying the tix now. Warren: I'll have an extra one. In case you change your mind. [Wed; morning] (Warren’s text messages in Episode 3: The Chaos Theory if you decline the invitation.)

Warren does talk about two tickets but the drive-in charges per car, not per person (based on the poster). What’s the subtext of this dialogue? It’s saying that Warren still hopes that Max comes with him. Even deeper is Warren nudging Max to convince her subtly to go with him. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I don’t know why these inconsistencies happen, but inconsistencies are not uncommon in the game. So let’s rewrite the text message dialogues to remove the inconsistency, but keep the subtext.

Warren: BTW, the drive-in is actually popular so I'm buying the tix now. Warren: I’ll keep your spot open. In case you change your mind.

Nothing is different. The subtext is still the same. So if his narrative is to… I don’t know, to manipulate Max to go with him, I don’t see why he has to lie in the first place. Because my rewrite does the same job of the subtext. Maybe it is a development mistake.

These are the dialogues that are relevant, right after Max accepts or declines the invitation:

If Max accepts: Warren: I have to tell Brooke I'm going with you to the movies instead. I'll text you later? If Max declines: Warren: Uh, I have to see if Brooke wants to go to the drive-in, Max. Maybe I'll see you later. [Tue; morning] (Episode 2: Out of Time)

Okay, the first one sounds like Warren has invited Brooke first before Max with that “instead” and the second one sounds like Warren hasn’t invited Brooke at all. Weird, isn’t it? This is why people say Warren is playing off both girls. But there’s this dialogue:

Brooke: That's so ironic that Warren asked Max to the drive-in. Brooke: It's not like I don't own all the original "Apes" films. Brooke: Maybe I should've asked Warren to go... [Thu; afternoon] (Episode 4: Dark Room) [Max accepts Warren’s invitation route]

“Maybe I should’ve asked Warren to go”? In the narrative of if like you say, Warren playing them off, this dialogue doesn’t really add up, does it? It sounds like Warren never invites Brooke at all, or at the very least, they talk about wanting to go but never commit to doing it together. Does this make sense?

So what is this? Which one is right? Are these inconsistencies again? Maybe? Am I wrong? Tbh, my head hurts already LOL Tell me what you think. I’m so tired of this game’s inconsistencies.

Brooke is the second choice here. I don’t deny that. She always is even in the alternate universe, poor girl. Even after Warren says that he will ask Brooke instead after Max declines that morning, I think he still procrastinates on that and keeps hoping Max will change her mind until the next day. That’s why later he says: “I’ll have an extra one” (or “keep your spot open” in my rewrite) [Wed; morning].

And then, there’s the scene where Max is dared to kiss or not kiss Chloe [Wed; morning] (Episode 3: Chaos Theory). Regardless of whether Max kisses her or not, Chloe will text Warren later [Thu; morning]. In the route of Max declining Warren’s invitation, it sounds like he finally gets that Max is either not interested in romance or is interested in Chloe. So Warren gives up and he finally invites Brooke to the drive-in (Episode 4: Dark Room) [Thu; afternoon].

Just like Max is not interested in Warren and prioritising Chloe, Warren doesn’t seem to be interested in Brooke and he prioritises Max. Insensitive? Yes lol But, they are teenagers having a crush.

I hope all this makes sense.

4. "he knows how to build pipe bombs."

Because he's a nerd. A nerd who spends his time experimenting with chemistry. Pipe bombs are simple to make too. Max can even make it with his instructions. It's not weird if he knows how to build a lot of stuff. When you are passionate about something, you will want to learn more stuff, right?

Also, Anon, in high school, we begged our chemistry teacher to put potassium inside the water after we heard it would explode. She reluctantly yielded and yeah, it exploded and we screamed and laughed. She immediately regretted her decision. My point is explosion is exciting, Anon. There’s a reason why teenagers like to play with fireworks. Dangerous? Duh. It’s exciting tho, said a lot of teenagers.

God knows I got knowledge on weird stuff just because of some morbid curiosity or because one of my interests gets me interested in researching weird stuff. But my point is, it’s the same with Warren in this case. It’s not weird at all that a science nerd knows how to build a pipe bomb.

5. "he almost beat nathan to death because he was angry."

This, is my favourite point you made. Because despite all the people who decided to let Warren beat up Nathan, you use this point to imply that this isn't right, which weirdly makes me happy to see that it's acknowledged. Because it IS not right! Sorry, I'm just a Nathan trash (who wants to punch him too ironically but of course, I wouldn’t do it lol Sorry, Nate). Of course, you may say this with the intention of “there is something wrong with Warren based on this scene, some anger issues or something which is… dangerous.” Well…

You know, Anon, the thing with Warren is, the game subtly told us that he is bullied. And I was spending time trying to find evidence but I’m frankly so tired of combing the Wikia HAHAHA Turned out, someone has talked about it already.

There’s no confirmation on who bullies him (eh), but my guess is having a room across the kInG oF bLaCkWeLl's (I hate that dumb cheesy nickname lol) is not a good time for him. People can interpret it as him being angry because his crush is getting attacked by Nathan again, but I don't really see that tbh. Maybe it starts off as that, but later it explodes because of the pent-up anger he feels inside after all the bullying he has experienced. That’s the first time he beats up someone. He doesn’t even know he could do that.

Of course, this is just a different interpretation. Some people choose to interpret something from this side of the spectrum and there are people who choose to do it from the other side of the spectrum. I chose “this side of the spectrum” to give you a different interpretation to ponder upon.

People could scoff and say, “Now you are just being biased.” Well… That’s what Warren haters do too. Being biased. Because Warren has so many positive things too, you know? It’s just the same as how Chloe haters are biased and ridiculously bash her hard outside of the fandom, when she has so many positive things.

People could scoff again and say, “You are using ‘him being a teenager’ too much as an excuse.” I believe we are too hard on teenagers. Yes, even the 18-year-old kids. You don’t magically mature and know everything about yourself or the world once you are 18 years old (or 19), even if society deems them as young adults. I sure didn’t when I was 18 (or 19). I only knew what my favourite colours are in my 20s! (Answer: the shades of pink, red-purple, and true red.) Everyone has their own pace. Warren is approximately a month before 17.

Also, I believe in mental growth. If people love the idea of flawed Warren as a character and then they write a fanfiction about him maturing and growing as a person and Max is in the picture, is that a bad thing? Of course not, it’s just them believing in the potential inside a character and character dynamic and using it as a creative outlet. Characters in “Life is Strange” are created to be in the grey shades. From the almost-white (like Kate and Samuel maybe) to the almost-black (like Jefferson). Max is grey. Chloe is grey. Rachel is grey. Warren is also grey. It’s not a bad thing to love fictional grey characters or even villains.

Lastly, let this be a reminder, not only for Anon, but for people in general, that… you don’t know why someone loves something. They may have nuanced reasons that they can’t explain fully if they don’t write long-ass essays and even if they do write one, sometimes people don’t even care about reading it. But if you keep an open mind and listen, maybe you won’t agree, but at least you understand a little bit and respect the opinion. Like, for example, hell, if I hear someone seriously loves Jefferson I will be so baffled (I hate him), but I will be so interested in hearing it and I'll still be so baffled but I’ll respect that, you know? Maybe I'll laugh a lot but only because I’m entertained and happy that they explain it to me. (I’m seriously interested so hit me up if any lol)

But that’s only me and my mindset. The general rule is just please be respectful.

Maybe after this, more people will come to my inbox and point out more things to argue. While… um, okay, I did say I claim to be Warren’s personal lawyer (and I was obviously joking) but until when will you people do this? xD Okay, I can’t stop it, or I can but I don’t want to block the few anonymous asks to my inbox, but since my lawyering is not paid by Warren, whether I will write an essay like this again or not will depend on my time and mood hehehehe xD

Thank you for the ask. I enjoy writing this! For Warren sympathisers, I hope I do him justice. If not, I’m sorry, but let’s hear it.

I'm shocked if someone is actually reading this, but if so, thanks for reading.

Kris

#defending #warren graham #life is strange #grahamfield #kris got asks

[darthstitch]

Strange Things That Happened In History Class

Cryptid Teachers

Professor Gadling had to take a moment. He really did.

It was that or explode into hysterical laughter right that very second and that really wasn't going to help his cause now, was it?

The paper he was trying to grade was supposed to be an essay on the suicide of Crown Prince Rudolf at Mayerling and its indirect effect on World War I. Instead, what he got was "Our Four Cryptid Teachers on Campus."

And a List, which deserved to be quoted in its entirety:

a. Professor Robert "Hob" Gadling - Probably knew Shakespeare IRL; explains why he has such a hate-boner for him

b. Professor Adam Pierson - has an actual motherfucking SWORD hidden somewhere in his clothes (maybe it's like Hammerspace?!!) and might possibly DUEL other immortals; maybe the OLDEST immortal because he talks about ancient EGYPT like he's been there, done that and worn the t-shirt

c. Professor Duncan Macleod - the OTHER sword-wielding immortal

d. Professor Nicholas Chevalier - VAMPIRE?!!! OMG?!!! Also, his Dad is legit creepy and we sincerely believe he's legit a vampire?!!!

Honestly, there was only one, sane, sensible way to respond to this.

Dustin, interesting essay choice there, lad, but I was rather expecting something about poor Crown Prince Rudolf and not speculations about my cryptid status. Incidentally, thank you for realizing that I'm not the Oldest Immortal around, yes, Professor Pierson wears his Ancient Egypt T-shirt with pride and yes, you'd do well to steer clear of Lucien Lacroix, that one gives me the willies.

You have a day to give me the right essay, so chop chop!

2. The Cat Thing

"So maybe his fursona is a cat, did ya ever think of that, genius?!"

"Ahahahaha, right, sure, Steve, he uses meows, purrs and trills like a legitimate language and the cats understand him - this is NOT a fursona thing my friend!"

"Also, Steve-o, I didn't think you knew about things like fursonas..."

"Eh, you've been around the Internet long enough, you pick up on some things, Wheeler."

"So Murphy speaks Cat like legitimately, actually speaks Cat, not just like us humans doing random meows."

"Yep."

"Score 1 for the Cryptid Candidacy! We're adding Murphy to the list."

"Actually, humanity knew how to speak feline once. The knowledge was lost, aeons ago. Isn't that right, Miette?"

"Meow!"

"I could tell you that Story, if you've a mind to listen."

"GYAAAAH!!!!"

3. Typhoon Morpheus

First off, Isabel didn't really actually mean to eavesdrop.

She'd submitted the wrong paper for the classwork they'd done today and while it wasn't as spectacular a mistake as Dustin Henderson's Cryptid List - it was still, obviously, the wrong paper. So she was just hurrying to fix things, although she was a little nervous, because Professor G seemed to be in a bad mood the whole day.

She was just about to knock on the door when she heard:

"Look, Gadling, you gotta do something. Caw!"

That voice sounded oddly familiar.

"Oh, Christ, what now?"

"Whatever it is you two did, fix it, for the love of Murphy. Do you see these feathers, man? I am soaking wet - it's been raining in the Dreaming and it hasn't stopped. Lucienne's already got all the rest of us trying to save the books in the Library from the flooding."

"Raining."

"Yeah. The boss thinks you don't love him anymore. So, boom, cue the rain. Thunder and lightning. Sturm und Drang - the works, you know?"

"Wait. Hang on, he thinks we've broken up?!!"

"Duh? Yeah?!!"

"Oh for Chrissakes, it was just a silly, ridiculous argument - I'm - hey, Matthew, remind me to kiss the stupid out of that idiot. After I yell at him. And kiss him stupid again."

"Reminder set, Other-Boss. Can we go now?"

Isabel told herself she was never, ever, going to speak of this to anyone - even if the fact that she had witnessed Matthew talking was probably enough to confirm Murphy's Cryptid Status on Dustin's stupid list.

4. Stranger Things

"Run this by me again, love," Professor Gadling said, in obvious bewilderment. "You're a Dungeon Master? What is that?"

"Not anything kinky, Professor G! AHAHAHA!" Dustin Henderson said in overly cheerful tones.

Murphy slanted the boy a look of wry amusement. "I think he understands that already."

"He's our DM for Dungeons and Dragons, Professor," said Will Byers. "It's a storytelling game."

"Ah, of course, a storytelling game, why wouldn't His Darkness the Prince of Stories be interested in that?" Professor Gadling said wryly.

"He's the best DM ever," volunteered Iggy Pop. "Like, the way Eddie went down fighting the demobats with Metallica, that was like, truly epic."

Murphy inclined his head in a regal almost-bow. "I can only but inspire. And I rather enjoyed young Eddie's performance. Truly something only a Master Bard could do."

"I'm still dead though!"

"Relax, man, we'll bring you back in flashbacks or something. Or maybe make you into a vampire!"

"Hey, you'd better - because I am this close to writing the Love Song of Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington and posting it on AO3!"

Professor Gadling knew when to give in. "Fine, you can use The New Inn for your session tonight. Just try not to wreck the place while you're off trying to fight the forces of darkness or whatever."

Murphy leaned over to drop a kiss into his hair. "We'll put all the breakables away before we begin our quest anew, dearest."

-end-

Footnote the First: Shortly after Dustin compiled his List of Cryptid Teachers on Campus, a new Professor joined the faculty, having retired from his former tailoring job at Kingsman. His name? Michael Percival Archangelus.

Footnote the Second: Dream of the Endless is not quite sure how he ended up adopting Hob's students and joining their D&D group, but he is quite charmed at their imagination and creativity and thoroughly enjoyed the idea of designing a villain formidable enough to test them.

Footnote the Third: Look, Dream still hadn't quite gotten all the nuances of a healthy relationship but he's at least figured out that minor spats and squabbles do not equate to breaking up and ending things forever. Hob's made sure of that. The kisses definitely helped.

****

Did I also just crossover Forever Knight, Kingsman and Stranger Things into this ridiculousness? Yes, yes I did. Nobody tell Neil.

Also, the "Michael" in this story is the headcanon Michael I came up with for the Lucifer show. Except obviously, this Michael isn't an evil twin douchecanoe but is an actual legit good guy... who uh.... spent a few years with Kingsman.

#the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dream/hob #dreamling #stranger things #highlander #forever knight #i crack what i want #bwahahahahaha #nobody tell neil

[herotome]

Hello Wudge!!! I know working on such a beautiful and ambitious project must be incredibly tiring. I also know how encouraging it can be to know that people enjoy what you put out there, so I'm here to express my appreciation for Herotome and all the work you have put into it already!

I've been into visual novels for a couple of years now, and while I enjoy my occassional short and sweet dose of cheesy romance, most visual novels could never really satisfy my desire for a good narrative and a lot of time to get to know the love interests (As someone who really needs to know a person in order to get romantically involved with them, I've always found some love stories kind of rushed. That's just my preference tho). I know it's hard to develop a fully-fledged game, especially when you're an independent developer and mostly work for free, so I'm definitely not trying to undermine anyone's work!!!

However, this is why I was so stunned by how much Herotome's DEMO captivated me. Not even just the extended demo!!! The first time I came across this game was before the extended demo got released, and even then, I was so enamoured with the universe, the artstyle, the characters, the writing. EVERYTHING. I'm a bit ashamed to say I can be quite picky with my taste in visual novels, but Herotome literally ticked every single box for me. Visually appealing designs (both with the characters and with the UI!), a great mix of humour and sobriety, clear and skilled writing and awesome world building. All of this in A DEMO??? GOD DAMN, DUDE!

A literal demo unironically managed to put this visual novel among my absolute favourites simply because of how much work and care was put into it. I really hope it gains more attention even before it gets fully released, because you truly deserve the same level of support that games like Our Life (my #1 fav VN, can't wait for OL2) have. I know it'll probably be a while before Herotome gets released, but I'll try my best to wait patiently because I can't wait to see more of everyone! (especially Dart and Jade, I love them.)

I'm really sorry for the whole essay over here, but I just wanted to make my support clear!!! Unfortunately I don't have the possibility of financially supporting (yet) but I'm over here awaiting every update of this game with so much excitement you have no idea (⁠ᗒ⩊ᗕ ྀི) Good luck and stay healthy!

ksbfjsdb how did you know.. 😭😭😭 Thank you, sweet anon! No apology necessary, I love essays!!

Worldbuilding is a area where I've felt particularly lacking -- like, I make a point avoid thinking about it most of the time, so in the rare instances I actually do put in effort it feels like it's coming up short? Maybe not so much in the demos, but nowadays I'll be standing around thinking about how things work in the society of Rhineway and trying to plan out ideas of what's gonna come up in the routes and my brain will inevitably feels like television static by the end.

SO to be praised for worldbuilding gives me a bizarre yet flattered feeling (sort of like "I'm not sure I deserve this but I guess I've done something right"), thank you, and I'm continually touched that people enjoy the humor! I really try to put in a lot of throwaway jokes where it's like -- if you don't laugh, it's totally fine cuz it goes by pretty quick -- but it is nice to know I've made people laugh. Or at least have an sensible inward chuckle :')

It sounds like you're demisexual btw which - lol me too. 🤝 Eyyyy!

I'm not sure how to end this post so I'll just put in some preview of what I've been working on -

Lots of eyebrow dances.

#herotome ask

[rollercoasterwords]

ok here's the essay re: "realisitc?? they're literally wizards!!"

upon further reflection (25 min voicenote 2 twin, 1 conversation w 2 friends) i think i have. managed 2 organize + articulate my thoughts.

obligatory disclaimer: this literally does not matter i'm talking about hp fanfiction in 2023 this is not a serious issue beyond being like. kind of annoying. unfortunately i just enjoy writing abt stupid fandom discourse hopefully going back 2 school will cure me of the incessant need 2 write essays for fun but who knows. anyway me writing this essay is not me saying this is a huge or important issue i just like 2 talk <3

anyway! the ~discourse~ i've been noticing in the marauders fandom, which from my pov has had sort of an uptick recently (although who knows if that's objectively true--maybe i've just stumbled across more of it. from where i'm sitting, though, it seems like it's become more of a hot topic in recent months) generally goes as follows:

person a: omg ugh i hate that in [x fic] [x character] has/is/does [x flaw] :(

person b: oh well [x character] having/being/doing [x flaw] makes the story more realistic

person a: UM they're literally wizards at a magic school lol....who cares if it's realistic....

and the reason this both interests + annoys me is that i think. giving person a the benefit of the doubt + assuming they aren't being purposely obtuse (bc in that case we're just talking abt trolls), it demonstrates such a gap in understanding. bc the thing person a is fighting w that response is literally a strawman

the strawman:

saying "um they're literally wizards" is only a "gotcha" moment if it's pointing out an inconsistency in person b's thinking. it is only pointing out an inconsistency if, when person b says "it makes it more realistic," we take that to mean that person b is saying "a story is better if it more closely matches our own reality." in that case, saying "they're wizards!!!" points out an inconsistency, bc obviously characters being wizards does not match reality. gotcha!!!

the problem is that that isn't what person b is saying. so by responding "they're wizards" as if that's some sort of "gotcha" moment, person a is misinterpreting person b's argument, constructing a strawman that nobody is actually arguing, and then tearing down that strawman with a pithy little sarcastic comment that positions them as soooo much more reasonable than person b.

so what is person b actually saying?

the problem is that saying "[x character] having [x flaw] makes a story more realistic" is not an argument about the story being better, it's an explanation for why someone would write the story that way.

another disclaimer - some "person b"s in this situation might, in fact, be using "it's more realistic" to try and argue that a story being more realistic makes the story better; however, that is not a position i'm going to be defending here. i think any argument that roots itself in a so-called "objective" measure of what makes a piece of art better or worse is a non-starter, and in that case i think person b and person a are perhaps both misguided in different ways.

but what's happening from person b's pov is - person a asks "why would anyone write [x character] with [x flaw]?" person b tries to answer that question by explaining: well, it makes the story more realistic. the implication here is -- a story being more realistic is a personal preference that some people are going to prefer; people write + read stories for different reasons. this is the reason that i enjoy the story, personally. that's it!

and the thing is, "realistic" in the context of a fantasy story does not mean "matches real life exactly." in the context of fantasy, "realistic" refers, in my mind, to two things:

1. cohesive internal logic

even within a fantasy universe, there are going to be structured societies, rules, laws of natures, etc. what makes a fantasy story more realistic is not how closely it adheres to real-life structures + rules, but how closely it adheres to its own established structures + rules - its own internal logic.

for example: in my fantasy world, fairies can fly but mermaids can't. then, suddenly, without explanation, i write a scene where a mermaid can fly. this makes the story less realistic, in that it breaks from its own internal logic, and stretches the limits of readers' abilities to suspend their disbelief. like - we've already sort of "agreed" to suspend disbelief about fairies + mermaids existing, because that's just the established norm of the story, but as readers we are still looking to follow some internal logic. oftentimes, when people are complaining about fantasy stories being more or less realistic, they are referring to the story's own internal logic.

this means if someone is writing hp fanfic set in a canon universe, working in the established canon universe where certain biases + flaws exist, it makes the fic more realistic to adhere to that internal logic. obviously, a fic writer can choose to change that internal logic and say, for example, "in my story the wizarding world doesn't have homophobia, and that's an established societal norm that is part of the story's internal logic." that's fine! it's just a matter of personal choice whether that's the story that somebody wants to write or not, y'know?

2. reflection on real life

the other aspect of "realism" that i think people are referring to when they talk about a fantasy story being more or less "realistic" is the ways in which that story does reflect actual reality. like--fantasy stories don't exist in a vaccuum. many writers use fantasy stories to reflect realities from actual life; things like prejudice or oppression or war, etc. placing these real-life issues into a fantastical setting allows a new lens through which to think about them, pushing us to examine them from different angles.

for example - take k.a. applegate's animorphs series. it is, in many ways, completely unrealistic, in that it's about kids who can turn into animals fighting off an alien invasion. but k.a. applegate wrote the books to demonstrate the utter horror and devastation of war, and much of the subject matter reflects real-life wartime situations. a kid who only hears about war through the news or through action movies where there's a clear good guy and bad guy, a clear right and wrong, might find it easy to disregard the horror. but when applegate took those real-life situations and placed them into the fantastical setting of animorphs, she's providing an age-appropriate way for children to understand that no, war is not an action movie, it's a horror story.

this is why "realism" in fantasy matters to people. some writers are using fantasy not as pure escapism, but as a way to explore real-life issues through a different lens, one that may allow people to empathize with an issue in a way they normally don't. obviously, some people are just writing fantasy for fun escapism -- and that's fine! there's space for both types of stories to exist simultaneously; what doesn't make sense is assuming that just because somebody engages with media differently from you, there must be something wrong with it.

anyway. the conclusion to all this i suppose is that i think if you genuinely do not understand why someone would write a character a certain way, rather than assuming the worst or assuming there's no good reason it's generally better to like. actually ask and listen to the answer people are giving u + try to understand where they're coming from. not everyone is going to want to read the same types of stories, and somebody writing a character w certain flaws shouldn't feel like a personal attack, bc fandom is a self-curated experience where u literally don't need 2 read or write anything u don't want to. The End

#ranting and raving #txt

[artistic-argonian]

So I watched season 2 of She-Ra today and I need to talk about this.

Of course, some spoilers for She-Ra season 2 below the cut. I don't intend to make many posts like this, if any more at all, but I almost cried at a cartoon today and it caught me off guard so here we are writing an essay.

So, as you've read in the title I binged the entire second season today and I knew this show would get me emotional and hit hard going in, but one thing I did NOT expect was to find myself getting emotional this early on due to relating so hard to a character, that being the (so far) best girl: Scorpia.

Ever since her introduction I've loved Scorpia as a character, I've always been a fan of gentle giants who are super friendly but also can kick ass when necessary, and I enjoy her dynamic with Catra and the other Horde soldiers. I like how despite working with the villains she tries to be a good friend and be there for people she cares about, and when I got to the episode, "White Out", I got hit by an unexpected brick of relatability right in the feels.

In the episode we see how Scorpia tries and fails to bond with Catra, who's not too interested as she focuses on the mission and her own emotional baggage, which results in her becoming insecure about their relationship. Later on when she's stuck with Adora, she's jealous and frustrated by how well the latter knows Catra with the two having grown up together in The Horde, feeling that she can't compete with that. She wants Catra to lower her guard and let her in but it's not happening no matter what she does. She loves her and wants her to know she's there for her, but feels like she can't have the kind of connection Adora had with her. This is further explored in her conversation with Sea Hawk, who's got similar issues with feeling insecure in his own relationship with Mermista.

It was during this scene that I found myself actually getting teary-eyed and audibly saying to myself, "Why do I relate so much to this? I didn't expect to feel this way about a frickin' scorpion lady!" And the reason why is because, though not to the same extent or in exactly the same way (I read it as Scorpia possibly having a crush on Catra as well,) in some ways I've been where she is in that scene emotionally. I've had times where I've felt like I want to be close with someone and be there for them, but also like I can't compare to other people in their lives who've been around longer than me. And while I didn't and don't feel neglected like Scorpia does, I'm someone who is (or at least tries to be) very loyal to my friends, and makes an effort to let them know how much I appreciate them whenever I get the opportunity. Though I sometimes worry that because of who I am, it's not enough.

I've had times where I've seen mutual friends who've known each other for a long time (longer than they've known me) interacting and thinking, "God I want to be like that with them," but 1: I'm too shy and 2: I've not known them long enough in comparison to feel like I can, like my bond with them obviously can't be the same. I've had times where I've wanted to be close to people and learn about/get to know them but then worried about rushing or coming across as clingy or overbearing. I want people to be comfortable with me just like I am with them; to be their rock. But then feel like I'm crazy for that, especially if it's over a relatively short amount of time. Like, of course I can't expect that from anyone, nor should I. And so the line, "I can't compete with that... No matter what I do, I can't seem to break down her walls. You two... Even when you're trying to kill each other you can tell there's a real bond there." really struck a chord with me.

But, much like Scorpia in the episode, despite all that, I don't give up. When I care about someone, I'll stay by their side no matter what. Because they matter to me, and as long as I can do anything to help, even if it's just reaching out when I see a friend having a hard time and letting them know I'm there, then I'll do whatever I can and let them know how much they matter. Because that's who I am.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk about how a goofy buff lady with claws almost made me cry.

#she ra #she ra spoilers #scorpia #Holy shit this got long I'm sorry. #Everything I write unintentionally becomes a novel I swear.

[melis-writes]

what's your take on michael and kay's relationship in the films? do you think michael actually loved her?

Absolutely, I do!! I've done so much research and analysis on them both in film and the book because I'm obsessed with them as a couple LMAO. I've written straight up essays on here. You can find them here, here, here, and here.

To sum up the most important parts from all of them to prove my point:

Michael also makes this clear to Kay after he becomes Don too. Michael reminded Kay countless times throughout the book that he wanted to marry her, that he wanted to slowly be transparent to her about the nature of his family first. He really worked on building the love and trust in his relationship with Kay because he believed in having a future and a family with her, with or without the family business.

Michael even thought about changing his last name (seriously) for the sake of Kay’s reputation.

Michael said gently, “Will your parents approve of me?” Kay shrugged, “I don’t care,” she said. Michael said, “I even thought of changing my name, legally.”

Kay came in after him and put her arms around his waist from behind. “When are we going to get married?” She asked. “Whenever you say.” Michael said.

Mind you, Michael is not in any way desperate to marry Kay or in an urgent need to. This is all solely built on the trust, affection, and bond they have in their relationship together. He mentions marriage a lot more to her than she does to him.

When Michael had returned home from Sicily, he told Kay that she was the only one he was ever “in love” with:

[Kay:] “Why do you want me to marry you after never calling me all these months?” [Michael:] “You are the only person I felt any affection for, that I care about. I didn’t call you because it never occurred to me that you’d still be interested in me after everything that’s happened. […] I want you and I want a family.” “You know, when I came home I wasn’t that glad when I saw my family, my father, my mother, my sister Connie, and Tom. It was nice but I didn’t really give a damn. Then I came home tonight and saw you in the kitchen and I was glad. Is that what you mean by love?”

He put his arms around her and kissed her gently on the lips. Her mouth was sweet and he gently pulled her down on the bed. She closed her eyes, waiting for him to make love to her and Michael felt an enormous happiness. He had spent the war years fighting in the Pacific, and on those bloody islands he had dreamed of a girl like Kay Adams. Of a beauty like hers. She opened her eyes and hen pulled his head down to kiss him. They made love until it was time for dinner and the theater.

Michael refused to listen to anyone else asked/told Michael he should get surgery done for the bits of broken bone in his face due to McClusky breaking his jaw, even 2 years after the injury healed on the outside of his cheek. Kay was the exception to this of course! Michael wanted Kay’s opinion, and subsequently “got his face fixed”:

She knew that Michael had done it against all his own inclinations. Had done it because she has asked him to, and that she was the only person in the world who could make him act against his own nature.

And lets not forget when he said...

“You were all that I loved and valued most in the world and now I’m losing you…I’ve lost you anyway; You’re gone and it was all for nothing. You need to understand that I had a whole different destiny planned for us.”

And keeping in mind these following points:

Michael could have remarried any time after his divorce from Kay and had more children/a second son.

Michael wore his wedding ring for another 10+ years.

Michael was still trying to win Kay, apologize to her, get close to her in TGF3.

Michael moved onto Kay barely a year after Apollonia’s death.

Michael referred to Kay as “his wife” even after she remarried.

Yes, in full truth I do believe Michael loved Kay. I believe he cared for her deeply and was in love with her to the fullest extent. Their relationship and romance as a whole is so much better fleshed out in the book than the film but of course Michael is also essentially two different people when you compare him to how he was in the novel versus the film. I get why he's portrayed differently, but it's so easy to gloss over the truth of him and Kay if you don't actually sit to think about what they had and what Michael held together for their future together. ❤️

#ap*llonia stans cope #michael corleone #kay adams #the godfather