#so many PEOPLE period.

[no-gender-only-rage]

Man are holiday dinners even worth it anymore

#so many kids #so many PEOPLE period. #so loud. #too hot #yet the food is cold by the time it's on the table #never any leftovers to be handed out anymore #plus all these people would wish me dead if they knew one true fact about me

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[jomeimei421]

Felt a bit nostalgic watching RT shut down…Here are the og faves again for old times sake 💙

#rvb #agent washington #agent Carolina #lavernius tucker #michael j caboose #epsilon #my art rvb #ahhh a lot of feelings…of course I stepped away from rt as a company a long time ago #but RvB is special to me!! it was my first fandom experience ever #and the community here on tumblr specifically was so instrumental to me growing up #I really could not have asked for a better community of artists and writers to grow up in. I know it sounds like platitudes when I say #that everyone was super nice and talented but REALLY. People were so kind to me and somehow I became well known despite #my art and writing and me in general still being immature and hashtag cringe #I found my creative legs and #people would respond to my stuff with walls and walls of support in the tags and we would do exchanges and events every year #I made my first lyric comic and it’s still doing extremely well on YouTube even today!! my dad who passed away recently always loved it #and my favorite RvB writer came out of hibernation to write me a bunch of text wall asks about it #I’ve never had another fandom experience quite like RvB #I still keep in touch with many of my friends from that time period even though we’ve all moved on the other things #these guys will always always have a place in my heart #so long reds and blues….

[hinata-boke]

tiny birthday boy doodle!!

#my art #haikyuu #bokuto #akaashi #bokuaka #doodle #i wasnt originally gonna draw a lot of birthday stuff bc theres too many characters id want to draw them of #but i needed to draw something for bokkun #didnt have time to draw something cool and epic so little squishy it is #also have been having some sort of mental adjustment period as my schedule's changed a lot so #that explains the absence of art #(1hqaday im so sorry) #anyways happy birthday bokuto #obligatory akaashi bc i didnt have energy to draw a lot of characters but i didnt want him to be lonely #if i could i would have drawn fukurodani and his other besties so hes surrounded by people on his birthday #just imagine theyre behind the camera

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

i wanna know more about svsss menopause

They synced their periods together too well. Now they are synced through their perimenopause years.

#Poorly drawn svsss #svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #shang qinghua #mobei jun #ask #I truly think that the peak of the SVSSS (peri)menopause era is just them commiserating over the experience of it. #Not pictured here is Liu Qingge barely suppressing his hormonal rage. He would have it *bad*. #I think Liu Mingyan is the only person who does not have a bad time with menopause because she takes estrogen supplements. #Which sounds like a trans headcanon but I think regardless of cis/trans status she's researched this and is prepared. #I have developed a sense for what menopause is purely by exposure to the various complaints I have overheard/been told. #These are all very specific and yet very common stories. #I do not know what the overlap is for SVSSS fans and people (not just women) going through menopause. I hope this is funny to SOMEONE. #It's an untapped market of potential! Too many young'uns in these woods. #Synced periods this. Ovulating that. Where's the menopausal homicidal rage? #Come on! Ripping off your clothing in a sudden burst of heat is *SO* SVSSS core!!! Make perimenopause sexy!!! #Anyways. Please put your menopause headcanons in the comments/tags <3 I'd love to hear them. #Thank you joblessmonday for following up with an ask and giving me an excuse to release this train of thought.

[sonknuxadow]

collection

#sorry i saw someone say sonic and tails dont see eachother as family at all again and it annoyed me #this isnt even all of the times theyve said it this is just a bunch of stuff i remembered off the top of my head #and also sonic has called tails little bro SO many times across different media that it would be impossible to track them all down #but i tried to include stuff from different media to show that this isnt a thing thats exclusive to one continuity or one period of time #because those are arguments i see people use to prove theyre not brothers #but even if it WAS something that is mentioned a lot in earlier sonic media and not so much in recent stuff. #not mentioning something as often anymore doesnt automatically make it non canon?? especially if theres no new info contradicting it #sonic frontiers spoilers #the sage picture probably looks irrelevant to people who havent played frontiers #but she was talking about sonic and tails there which is why i included it #also i put that aosth clip instead of screenshots from it because i didnt think a couple screenshots would do it justice #you really have to see the whole thing

[swordsonnet]

self-proclaimed radical leftists: in the communist utopia that exists only in my head, everyone will work, by which i mean a full-time job in the post-industrial revolution sense. this is because work is obviously the only way one can contribute to society, and everyone who doesn't work is a parasite that will be eradicated in my Communist Utopia™. i don't even care about the products or purpose of people's labour because, as everyone knows, employment equals morality and so having a job is inherently virtuous and not having a job makes you a lazy leech who doesn't deserve to live. trust me, this is a very communist idea. i'm practically an expert because i read 1.5 tweets about marx.

what? omg why are you making this about disability, i was obviously talking about normal people 🙄 if you're disabled, you have an excuse to be a useless waste of resources who can't contribute anything 😊 in my ✨ Communist Utopia ✨, you don't have to work if you're not able to. don't worry, we'll have rigorous and dehumanising tests to determine if you're disabled enough or if you're just a lazy faker! this process is infallible and has no drawbacks whatsoever for disabled people. have you considered that maybe you're the real ableist for criticising me? 🤔 anyway, have i mentioned how much i love employment and also the taste of boot leather

#so many internet 'leftists' are actually just deeply reactionary if you look even a millimeter below the surface #and it clearly shows in their complete refusal to treat disabled people as even remotely human #anyway if someone needs to disclose their diagnosis to you for you to treat them with even a modicum of respect #then you dont respect disabled people at all. period. #just as mocking people for being harmlessly weird is always wrong and not just when you know for a fact theyre autistic #you can't just act like having a job is the only way to contribute to society and then go 'but it's okay if you're disabled' #because you're still saying that we're useless. and going 'okay but you cant help it' is not as supportive as you might think #disability #ableism

[myfandomincolor]

I'm gonna have to part 1/part 2 this bc I got carried away (⁠.⁠ ���❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

@dutifullylazybread posted this and I had to draw

Regency/Georgian Rolan is in my head now just running amok and y'all put Cravat Thoughts out there so here we are

(idk if it's cool to tag folks but Rolan Nation you know who you are and I will gladly tag you if you want)

Reference photo for the last panel!

#drawing people smoochin is HARD #can you tell which panel i spent the most time on #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #rolan bg3 #rolan x tav #my rolan empire #holy rolan empire #myfandomincolor draws #sketching and doodling #bg3 regency au #tav tag: brilliance #i need you all to know that georgian victorian and edwardian period clothing is my weakness #so period drama bg3 is a fresh new hell of brainrot for me #mad at myself bc i have so many good georgian interior reference photos from visiting Bath last year #and used NONE OF THEM to attempt backgrounds

[mechadria]

the watcher stuff is sure feeding my blocklist bc if you're out there even mentioning that 6 dollars is actually okay or using "artists deserve to get paid" as some sort of master argument when a lot of fans are also artists in their own right (and not ones that can afford a tesla) and like they weren't getting paid before i simply do not ever want to see you on my dash x

#watcher #watcher entertainment #watcher tv #like. so many of their fans are also artsy little creative nerds #im an artist. a lot of us are artists. #i dont get paid for my art period because people are broke and rude #im certainly not gonna scrape my small budget to fund steven “anybody can afford 6$” lim #if u don't like this post comment on it and tell me!!! gonna make the list sm easier babes x

[crescentfool]

the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!

#lizzy speaks #persona 3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #guys friendly reminder that this is what adulthood is about dont listen to anyone who calls you cringe #hence why im putting these in the main tags. i mean they're not incorrect for what the photos are about. lmao #anyway this was a very fun birthday!!! i feel very loved and supported by so many people and i got to do very fun things (like this)... #i think... birthday is like thanksgiving to me. in the gratitude respect. #a reminder of all the lovely people that i have gotten a chance to meet and how i've learned from them #it makes me very happy to have been born... i think every day is a great day to celebrate life's grandeur + brilliance + magnificence #it's just a very poignant and strong feeling that i have that i'm happy to have met so many wonderful people #and while there are some people i've only known for brief periods of time or people who i havent really been good at keeping in contact wit #i do cherish it! im so grateful. so happy that there are people who cheer my silly shenanigans on #while there are ways in which aging makes me go “oh hmm” i think overall i'm happy that i get to keep on living and learning #i have so much fondness for humanity and people... like even if i dont get to talk to ppl directly i just get very emotional yknow #like wow.. you exist.. thats so fucking awesome... i hope you have an awesome day... im glad our paths could cross #if you have read up to this point of my tags.. thank you for reading and being part of my life #i will keep on being the silliest guy ive ever known! cheers to more shenyanigans and self-discovery :3

[faintedloves]

This scene was so tragic, because he really has become a monster of Mary's own making. And the way the audience got to slowly see George become more and more driven by his own arrogance and greed as the show built was so sad yet so riveting to witness.

#mary and george #mary and george spoilers #mary & george #george villiers #mary villiers #anyway I have too many thoughts #and I mean #this is based on real events #so just thinking about court dynamics and life in court at this time period hurts my brain #and how the villiers did anything they could to achieve power #and how many people were willing to do the same #I feel like I'm about to explode with all my thoughts #anywayyyy #♡

[mxtxfanatic]

I will always maintain that Wei Wuxian was in the right for what he did during the Sunshot Campaign. It is morally right and even necessary to resist violent oppression with violence. Any handwringing on how oppression is fought and what kind of violence fits the bar for “good enough to not be labeled a bad guy” in the face of fighting oppression is the same as siding with said oppression.

The fact that wwx only does what he does during wartime to the people trying to oppress him but drops these behaviors completely during peacetime says a lot about his character. Meanwhile, the wartime tactics the Wen used is what the rest of the cultivation world adopt during peacetime, wonder what that says about them 🤔

#mdzs #honestly this discourse has gone from mildly annoying #to slightly triggering #so this will be my last engagement with this for a while #but the way people talk about wwx during this time period is absolutely maddening #especially since it relies on erasing A LOT of the wen clan crimes #in order to paint wwx as ‘excessive’ and a ‘violent maniac’ #i do not believe that this is a discourse #that can be divorced from real world politics and events #and so many people need to ask themselves why #the oppressed fighting back makes them uncomfortable #and why an individual striving for retribution against a horrific crime committed against him #scares y’all so much

[puppetmaster13u]

Blame the Sims for this but-

Poly Bruce/Clark/Lois scenario with Vampire batfamily, save for Tim whose a werewolf, and of course Alien superfamily. Lois is also completely human. Probably. No one knows for sure.

Bonus Danny Phantom crossover of them getting together via them trying to adopt ghost child and ending up coparenting instead.

#prompts #Bruce saves Jason via turning him but there's definitely still a recovery period #Tim is lonely wolf pup-boi who wants to make sure his hero is safe and brings him a fluffy pillow as a gift #Which is how they learn their neighbor is lil werewolf pup who was left Alone by his human parents for the last however many months #Hilariously everyone outside of the superfam think the batclan are humans #Kon is delighted to be able to wrestle with Tim without holding back as much as with other people #It's like playing with a big puppy!!!!! Or his pet wolf!!!! #Jon looking at dhampir Damian: Friend :) #dcxdp #dpxdc #Danny coming stumbling across two families of supernatural creatures: #Danny getting smothered with affection because he's only 2 years dead so therefor baby: #Both families realizing it's a 3 for one deal:

[ladsofsorrow24]

(x)

#sasunaru #uchiha sasuke #uzumaki naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto blank period #snsvalentine24 #ladsofsorrow24 #valentines day #i guess? #idk man i don't celebrate it #anyway... this is the first time i'm drawing so many mob chara lol #if you peek to the right you can see a satoru iguchi cameo #because i am funny like that heheh #i nearly gave up drawing this one because... of everything that happened lately #but i push through... because the thought of having to meet and talk to so many people tomorrow is stressing me out #i have to just... draw and empty my brain from the anxiety #ok enough of me talking about myself go listen to the song #stevie nicks is SO GOOD #i love her voice

[jawz]

why do people who transitioned as full-on adults continue to speak on what they believe the laws should be regarding child/adolescent medical transition? like how fucking dense do you have to be to think it’s the same situation? if you didn’t MEDICALLY transition in that specific age range, when your mind is more amenable to any number of ideas about identity or personal philosophy (as you are still a child figuring yourself out) then you do not know what it’s like to have doctors more or less gaslighting you into pseudoscientific concepts that adults can understand more like metaphors…

this is the same way religion harms vulnerable young people when their brain’s capacity for weighing what is and is not realistic is just not developed and the real life experience has not yet been gained… you don’t understand metaphors and gender roles and playing pretend and facades yet… it’s all REAL to you at that age… i was told i had a MALE SOUL… trapped inside my inferior female body which needed to be FIXED in some way.

the older i get the more i realize that what a lot of adult transitioners are describing amounts more to deliberate aesthetic changes, which do create a higher level of comfort in the body and self-expression, this is why there seems to be a lower rate of regret for these types… versus gnc children who have not yet gotten past the age stage of cross-sex identification (which seems to be a common experience during the development of sexual identity for a pretty sizable cohort of the current generation of homosexuals who transition)… i think adult transitioners without childhood dysphoria have a better big-picture view of the changes they’re seeking, and it’s extremely unfair for them to pretend that youth who are attempting to convert themselves from gay boys to straight women or from butch lesbians to straight men are in the same mindset. i know i was not. it was religious for me. it was totally all-consuming.

#detrans #detransition #like. they got to develop fully during puberty and adolesence and THEN decide that it didnt feel right… my growth was messed with #why is everyone so terrified of feminine males being physically masculinized during puberty and vice versa? #do we not deserve it because we didnt fit the gender roles right????? #they dont want people looking out of place… normalization of puberty blockers is NOT pro-trans it is actually in existence #SOLELY to facilitate the process of making a gnc child look LESS trans. #it’s clear that MANY adult gay men and lesbians who are considered ‘cis’ did in fact go thru periods of intense wishing to be the opposi #opposite sex. this is the result of living in a violent and rigidly heteropatriarchal society.

[inkblackorchid]

*cradles his face in my hands, kissing his forehead softly* You absolute IDIOT MY GOD YOU'RE A DISASTER

YOU UTTER BUFFOON YOUR FRIENDS CARE ABOUT YOU DAMN IT

Surprised Pikachu Face

This guy, I swear.

#yugioh 5ds #yusei fudo #aki izayoi #akiza izinski #jack atlas #*bonks Yusei on the head* #this boy has So Many Issues!!!! #see this here? #this is yusei's fatal flaw #he fundamentally doesn't understand how important to people he is #worse yet you could extrapolate from that that he doesn't think he's important Period. #this guy is an absolute mess I love him so much #LEARN. THAT PEOPLE. CARE ABOUT YOU. DUMBASS! #I wanted to make this post yesterday already but ended up being so tired that I forgot #anyway #orchid rambles #orchid watches 5ds (again) #episode 138 #screencaps