#so i just. feel bad and the ending bias makes me feel even worse ok | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

midnight---hollow · 17 days

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Ok i need to yap for a second

I love how well written and thought out the ipc is in honkai star rail. I feel in general we dont always get the best discussions about capitalism and giant corps because said giant corps are usually sponsoring or are creating them most of the time so there is usually bias. I just saw some of the boothill story lore leaks and im not gonna talk about them here cus leaks but it gave me real big appreciation for how the ipc is handled.

Im personally a real big fan of complicated situations in my fictional stories. Ever since mob psycho ive gained a new lens of trying to find sympathy and reason for any situation, keeping my own opinions and preferences while still understanding the other side. I feel star rail has done a great job at show casing the many sides of the ipc even if i for one really dont like the ipc and its my least favorite organization

(I feel i should also say this is an opinion piece and im not informed enough on the real life issues as i would like to be. I just want to yap my opinion out and express why i find joy in this and maybe even come back later with more research to make another post but with references and proof to explain why besides what i remember and like. If i do get anything wrong then please inform me cus i would like to learn more about this and plan to)

|Spoilers for basically all the ipc related things in hsr|

I started out hating them cus i just dont like capitalist corps and they just rubbed me the wrong way. When the arum alley event happen i was originally pissed at it because even though it was confirming my beliefs of “big corp bad” it felt cheap and like almost every other story told by a big corp trying to tell us big corps are bad. Yknow the “look at this obviously in the wrong guy dont be like him, look at him get his comeuppances in the end and ignore how we actually are alot more complicated and worse than this super evil and obvious example”

arum alley then did something i didnt expect. It gave nuance to the story. It started out with that obvious example yes but the next one wasnt that obvious, the next part of the event talked about how some workers feel they wont be able to sustain their lives as independent workers and feel they need to work for the big corps for a safe job and it started getting into the logistics of big corp vs independent business. Yeah we where fighting them but there where reasons and concerns and fears to be given. It wasnt just big corp bad it was “yeah big corp bad but here is why and here is also how its good” and it brings up the questions on what can be done so we dont need to rely on big corp

Topaz and her whole arc is another situation i find interesting. Topaz is a character i dont care to much about to be honest but i think she plays a good role in this whole ipc debacle. To me she feels like she represents someone who used the system because they needed to and made it work and flourished in the system. Her planet was basically unlivable and she lived in a capitalist waste that failed. In comes the ipc and they are almost what her world was but better for they offer to help and save them. All they need to do is sign their lives away to join the ipc and they did and their planet flourished because of it. Topaz herself was able to rise the ranks into being a cornerstone. I think her story shows both the light and dark of the ipc because they saved her planet but they only did it because it benefited them, if they didnt sign their lives away it is very likely topaz and everyone on her planet would have suffocated from the toxins and died. They had no choice but to join the system and its stated in game that topaz’s planet is one of the few that where able to be saved.

That’s probably what i like most about the playable ipc characters, it reminds us that these big corps arent just mustache twirling bad guys, it reminds us there are people there just trying to keep going and some of them are genuinely trying to do right and think what they are doing is right. Again topaz for example, she genuinely believes what she was doing was for the good of belabog. She saw a planet so similar to her own and i think she did what she thought was right and tried to help them (i dont think what she did was right but i can see where she comes from in thinking its right) i also think its showing that when she learned their was a way out for belabog that allowed them to not give their lives away to the ipc she gave in and stopped trying to convince them. She risked her own job security to allow them that right and because she didnt force an entire planet of innocent people who just got out of a horrible situation to sign their souls away (including the children mind you) she got demoted. Im not saying that she deserves a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum esp after she tried killing us, she is a rich, a conerstone, owns an exotic pet that she throws into battle and design her gun after, is a high member of said capitalist big corps, im just saying this is a very nuanced and interesting situation that i like to think about because there are so many thoughts and arguments

The whole belabog vs ipc thing was interesting in general for me because i think it was just such a good concept to bring forth the conversation of the goods and bads of big corps. Technically the ipc does have the right to want their century old debt repaid (ignoring the fact we later learned the robots where never used i think idk the end was confusing ngl) yet also at the same time we as people have a hard time siding with them when belabog didnt even know they where in debt because they where so isolated because of the stellaron and they just got out of the stellaron crisis and are trying to make their world habitable and yknow survive. We cant blame them for being unable to pay a humongous debt when these where the same people who stood in awe as march shower them a photo of their planet that she took while on the express. It creates a situation where yeah technically the giant corp has a right to take that money because its theirs but its still feels so cruel to make them have to cough it up right now with only a few days time. Belabog is basically forced to sign that deal because there is no way they could have payed that off they where doomed the moment topaz set foot on the planet. I remember talking to each of the people in belabog and getting their opinions on the matter and constantly having to rethink my stance because there where so many good points for why they should and so many for why they shouldnt. I can go on and on about this but this bit is already to long.

Aventurine!!! Aventurine aventurine oh where to start. Unlike topaz i actually like aventurine alot he is just such a well written character but we arent here to talk about how amazing him and the games writing is we are here to talk about the capitalist cooperation he is a cog in. Aventurine in a sense has a similar story to topaz but its more cruel and less happy. The ipc didnt save him, the ipc what going to arrest him and its thanks to his luck and a deal with the devil (or in this case a bet with a snake) that he was able to become aventurine.

I havent seen the writen stuff for him in his characters story because i dont have him but i will say from what i saw during the main story, something i question alot is what the ipc did during the avgin genocide. This might be a small tangent but the avgins said they had the support of the ipc. What happened that caused for the entire avgin civilization to be wiped out when they had the help of people with better weapons and armor and equipment. Apart of me is nihilistic enough to think the ipc didnt really care for saving the avgins and might have used the katakans attack as a way to know out the two groups that where causing them the most trouble but at the moment i dont know if theres anything supporting this theory so its just a crack theory

Aventurines spot in penacony is again interesting. Penacony is a prison planet of the ipc, that was taken over and turned into a party paradise thanks to the hamrony, family, and a stellaron. Aventurines goal was supposed to be to put penacony back in the ipcs control and to be honest i cant tell if thats his plan or not because of how crazy and confusing the story was (i loved it) but that being said it is another example how how grey ipc is. It isnt just a big bad corp there are people with lives and in avens case, people trying to gain their freedom with any risks necessary. I also think again the ipcs role in penacony is like belabog, very interesting, just for different reasons.

Penacony is based off America and in this case im assuming the ipc is their Britain. I feel like if you ask most people they would say that the ipc is the only group in penacony they hope fails (minus aventurine again i feel everyone wants aven to succeed even if we want ipc to fall) but i think the family being as grey as they are (basically a cult and also a representation of newer day amarica and its “its us or them” mentality in a way. I can make another yap ses about that lmao) adds an air of mystery and confusion on who we want to succeed since they are on two very different sides of the board so if one wins the other loses. It makes it feel like a fight of two big corps against each other and not really knowing who to support. Do you want to support the capitalist or the cult, pick your poison. We need the rest of penacony for me to go more in-depth on my opinion of ipc here and to rant but i can say its already making me question and argue both sides with what we have seen so far

That was fun for me. I havent ranted on tumblr in a long long time but hsr has been my recent hyperfixation and again boothill makes me crazy. While writing this is made me start to think about how much i wanted to talk about the hidden story of immigration i feel penacony is aso trying to tell. I think penacony is handling so many deep and interesting topics and im very excited for the next update. This has made me hyped to talk about the immigration stuff but i want to do reaserch and gain a proper strong stance besides “thats just my opinion.” I think this is an interesting topic and yapping about it made me want to do more reaserch on the topics of capitalism and big corps cus i hate them but i also think its important to know about it and understand there is more to the issue than just stingy old white rich people. I havent even gotten to jade yet. When we learn more about her imma have some words prob

Srry this was long but anyways cant wait till boothill comes out so i can get him and his light cone

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr ipc #ipc #hsr topaz #hsr aventurine #topaz #aventurine #boothill #midnight rants #long post

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laniemae · 3 months

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We need to talk about Nilovalentine’s behaviour in this whole situation (NOT A HATE POST JUST EXPLANATION)

[IMPORTANT PLEASE READ]

To say it once again, this is not a hate post of any kind, I just want to talk the specifics of what has happened the past month.

I know this is a very risky post to make, for me and for everyone involved. But to properly tell the truth about everything that’s happened I believe is the best for my mental health and to learn and recover from this situation, and to hopefully never get caught up in something again.

Before you hate on me for saying this, please don’t instantly assume the worst of me for speaking up about this sort of behaviour. I don’t want any sort of anchoring bias to be at play here and am trying my best to simply explain what has happened without any bias, and I please want everyone who reads this to understand this and to at least understand where I’m coming from, ok?

———

So to start off, this post is not in any way justifying my actions. I have already talked about what I have done and what I did was bad, I explained that in another post. But I feel like if you guys understand Nilo’s behaviour in this situation hopefully this can be of benefit to us all. And please don’t attack any one mentioned.

Basically it all started with my first breakdown from the second new years gartic phone game. It’s hard to remember as I often forget stressful things but when I first got upset Nilo commented on my post saying how 0709 was “ok because…” instead of acknowledging how uncomfortable I was with it and trying to reason with me. I stated before in my apology post that sort of attitude gives me really bad memories, but in his benefit at that time he wouldn’t have known that.

I got really upset at the post and told him how that just made things worse. Then not too long later Nilo proceeded to joke about it on his account and completely disregard how uncomfortable I was in the situation. Now, just to make things clear, from this point it could’ve been a misunderstanding where he thought it was some silly ship hate and didn’t notice my discomfort, but things just proceeded to get worse as time went on.

I ended up talking to someone who tried to help me in all of this. They went on to try and ask for an apology/more notice on the situation. I don’t know what exactly happened from their perspective but Nilo had taken over a week to even respond and the apology did not mention anything about my discomfort and feels redundant over what has happened recently.

Things were quiet for a while until the Valentine’s post last week that set me off. To say it once again, I acted brash and overly violent in that situation and I am not justifying what I did, I was just at my nadir at that time and couldn’t see anything else in sight and thought it was the end. What happened afterwards is what made me really worried about Nilo’s attitude towards my situation.

He proceeded to go on and joke about the situation replying to an ask with some joke about this being like a war or a game to someone who supported him with some silly soldier image telling them “god bless soldier”, completely disregarding how uncomfortable and a dark mental state I was in treating it like it was just some game.

Nilo replied to my reblog when I got incredibly upset about it saying that he didn’t hate me only to say that he didn’t care. He blamed everything that happened on me while again, very clearly not acknowledging my mental state at the time or that had ignored any sort of reasoning I had before I became violent. He claimed that I could move on like it was no problem implying that my whole behaviour was stupid and proceeded to make way too many assumptions about me and my behaviour.

Even though I reacted violently and inappropriately in this situation Nilovalentine’s ignorant behaviour should not go unnoticed. With me, I’m trying to learn from my mistakes and become a better person. I don’t want to make any assumptions or anything but I don’t think anything has changed with Nilo.

He’s repeatedly ignored my situation and discomfort, joked about my situation and had put no efforts to reason with me and literally said he did not care and put all the blame on me. Yes, a lot of it was my fault but the ignorant behaviour is what spiralled it out of control in the first place.

Again, this is a very risky post for me to make but I feel like the only way things would ever move forward is by saying this. I can’t bottle this up and keep it all to myself as that’s probably what caused me to act so badly on Valentine’s Day last week.

And to say it, since I’m only me I don’t know every perspective from this situation so there would be more to this, this is only my experience and the behaviours I’ve had to deal with. We’re all human after all, so there’s so good or bad here, just choices and mistakes.

Please, do not hate on either of us for everything that’s happened. This post is only intended to be a stone for my recovery and subsequent efforts to rejoin this fandom once more, even if I have to get everything of my chest and risk a lot as I know lots of you are mutuals with Nilovalentine. So please, take this post to heart and consider things from a wider perspective from now on out. I only want to make things better for everyone and after hitting rock bottom I’ve started to understand this situation more clearly, and the acceptance that comes with moving on.

I’m sorry for posting this as it’s a hard topic, but we all need to move on at some point and not get stuck in a cycle of stagnation.

Please treat this situation with respect and don’t rush to any sides

If you haven’t read it, this is my original apology post detailing the situation and why I responded as I did in greater detail https://www.tumblr.com/laniemae/742434928724164608/about-the-situation-at-hand-and-why-i-responded?source=share

#milgram #I’m very sorry for maintagging this #I guess this is an important post that needs to address everything #I’m scared of the reception this may get #I don’t want anyone to get hurt anymore because I’ve had enough of that #The only way to move is to move forward if we all try it’s not that hard if you clear your mind #I am truly sorry for my behaviour I exhibited during this whole situation #Like I said I was at my lowest and could not make sense of anything that was happening and was too overwhelming #I hope this comes as a learning experience to me so I can avoid making mistakes such as this in the future #It feels so bad for talking about someone so specifically about this and I know I’ll probably get gossiped about alot #But I feel that this is necessary to move on #Tag to find later

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renalex · 8 days

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Saw a post on here that was full of so much disdain for dogs that i nearly unfollowed the mutual that posted it.

The comments were such a mess of things i've heard many times. And because the comments were universally negative the op proclaimed that they were clearly the silent majority.

Leave your dog at home (people are allergic and phobic). Don't take them to parks (they make them unclean for children) Just the usual dogs are disgusting and untrained and dangerous kinda stuff.

Those are well and good and true and also opinions that people have so that's fair. But one thing that I saw a lot of and have heard many times from people I consider dear friends I just find so confusing. The notion that "it's cruel for people who live in cities to own dogs because apartments are small and there are no yards" The comment that got under my skin sated that we shouldn't even allow people in cities to own dogs.

So I'm fully bias on this right. I live in Toronto and I have a dog. In fact, I live in a studio/bachelor apartment with my medium sized dog perfectly happily. I've had dear friends look me in the eye and tell me that apartment living for dogs is bad for them. "I could never have a dog in a bachelor! There's no space!" I don't know how to explain, without seeming defensive, that dogs can be abused and neglected anywhere regardless of the existence of a yard or not. Growing up in rural Canada, where people have loads of property, it was not uncommon for me to see people have their dogs tied up outside all year long. My family had indoor dogs my entire childhood who only had outside access to a small fenced in part of our yard. The world of most of our pets is incredibly small. What matters is how loved they are and the amount of care you give them.

I do realize what they're saying to me is that they could never have a dog in the city and that is good. If you feel like you couldn't provide a good environment for a dog I think it's good that you not have one in that case. A very responsible decision indeed. But I do have to consciously make the effort to not take it as a judgment. Because stating that apartment living for dogs is cruelty sure feels like a judgment at times. To me it seems cruel to leave a dog in a shelter when I have the space in my heart and life to have one. I've always had dogs. I love having dogs. Dogs make more sense to me than people. Are there bad, neglectful owners out there? of course. But dogs existing in cities do not have it worse off than dogs existing in the country.

My dog lives happily in my small apartment with me. Even though I don't even have space for seating I have multiple beds for him and many toys. He eats breakfast and dinner with plenty of treats in between. The first thing I do when I wake up and the last thing I do before bed is walk him. He gets 4-5 long walks a day where he gets to sniff everything he wants. because we live in a city he has many many different dog friends he gets to say hi to and play with. Then at night he has his own little blanket at the end of my bed he gets to curl up on and sleep. He goes with me on transit and sits under my seat. He gets to come with me to some of my friends' places when I go. And when he can't join me he gets to stay at home and he does well by himself even though he has separation anxiety. I think he's got it pretty good.

Would I like to take him literally everywhere with me? sure. Do I? no. There are places he shouldn't be and that's ok.

Most importantly he has been there with me unconditionally. Through some legit awful times. Through people treating me badly. And he has nothing but love for me even though I'm not perfect. I would do anything to make sure he lives the best life I can give him because that's my responsibility. he gives me so much it's the least I can

I don't know man. I guess seeing such blatant dog hate on my dash got me in a mood but dogs are good. Dogs are happy so long as you're doing your best by them.

Some pics of the best boy

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northlight14 · 2 years

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Royono/Blood red song headcanon’s

Aka Roman X Youngblood X Noise

This ship has me in a chokehold so here we are

Let’s not lie to ourselves here, all 3 of them are absolute dumbasses (before anyone even attempts to say Youngblood isn’t a dumbass, while I agree he has the most brain cells of the group I’d like to remind you all that he was also stood talking to a door for 15-20 minutes before seeing there’s a door handle.) (Also if anyone tries to tell me Noise isn’t an absolute thembo, respectfully you’re wrong😂 He is the embodiment of a dumb smart person and would roast the shit out of Roman for doing something dumb but would then immediately go and do something just as stupid). Now because they’re a group of himbos, it took them a while to get together. As they all started to develop feelings, Roman didn’t wanna say anything because he could tell that Youngblood and Noise have a whole history that he didn’t wanna get in the way of. Meanwhile Noise saw how close Youngblood and Roman had become and didn’t wanna get in the way of that or complicate an already complicated situation. In the end Youngblood confessed first after getting over his whole “dear god why did I have to fall for those idiots?!” Thing😂

Roman and Youngblood introduce Noise to Reston. Needless to say, Noise was a bit overwhelmed at first as he’s typically not great with new people. Him and Youngblood did almost get into a fight with Fast Timmy on the first day which Roman had to stop. However, the village did end up liking them. Noise specifically formed a really good friendship with Samuel, something that absolutely horrified Youngblood. When having a meal with the family, Aunt Patty (not very subtly) kept whispering to Roman about how much she loves his partners and Roman just smiles and agrees

Ryker was very wary when they started dating. He had no issues with Roman being gay or polyamorous. The exact opposite really, he was extremely supportive. His issue came from Youngblood and Noise both being bards. It was especially tricky for him to accept Noise as he’d at least talked to Youngblood somewhat and gathered that he’s a decent person. He also trusted him slightly more because he’d run from the bard collage. Noise however is a different situation as they’re literally first chair and have a complex history when it comes to Roman. He’s also got reason to be a bit wary of Youngblood again since Youngblood used to be first chair and has hurt Noise before, both via the fire incident and by leaving. But over time Ryker begins to warm to them both and trusts that neither of them are going to hurt Roman. The 2 of them also help Ryker work on some of his bias when it comes to bards.

Dice Rollingstone/Mike Ro’phone has been simping for Noise since they first saw him perform and does flirt with Noise at every given opportunity. Noise is just tried and doesn’t really care because he’s not interested and nothings going to happen so whatever. Meanwhile Youngblood and Roman be like “I swear I’m gonna beat his ass for flirting with our partner!” “Damn, that was kinda sweet” “Roman!” “I mean how dare they!” Dice/Mike knows not to take it too far tho. They’re not a total asshole after all. A lot of the flirting is more like “in another life my love😘” while Noise is like “what? Ok…?”

Noise and Youngblood sing together a lot and teach Roman more about music. Roman sometimes joins in with their singing as well. Noise and Youngblood will also write songs for the others and have collaborated on songs for Roman which they perform for him.

When Noise is having a bad dysphoria day, Roman will initiate a cuddle puddle that Noise pretends to hate but secretly loves

Noise is very short and hides it by wearing his boots. Youngblood absolutely (affectionately) bullies him for this and Roman tries to make it better but always inevitably makes it way worse😂

Youngblood and Noise always have to wake Roman up in the morning because they’re both early risers and Roman would sleep in till the afternoon if he could. But if they’re gonna be going on missions, that’s not exactly gonna work.

If anyone dares insult one of the people in the polycule, the other two can and will absolutely beat their ass. Be it making fun of Roman being a bit clueless, someone calling Noise rude or a jerk or someone mocking Youngblood’s caution, best believe it’s on sight

#tw cursing #royono #blood red song #roleslaying with roman #roleslaying with roman spoilers #roman of reston #youngblood #rswr noise #noise rswr #dice rollingstone #mike ro’phone #ryker of reston #aunt patty #rswr #tw dysphoria mention #galaxy polycule #noise????

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thedreadvampy · 7 months

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cause I think the thing is. like. I try REALLY REALLY hard to give people the benefit of the doubt when I get Bad Vibes, and I particularly do when they're saying my partners bc like. obviously there's a) some need to keep things smooth and not fuck up my partner's other relationships and b) it's hard to vibe out where the closeness to the situation introduces unconscious bias.

h o w e v e r

and this is in and of itself a pretty biased view but

I would say that I have yet to have a situation where in retrospect I've been too harsh in my opinions on a partner's relationship, and I've had several experiences now where I have been un-harsh to the degree of really letting their partners treat not just then but also me real fucking shitty like.

I don't think I'm a particularly jealous person (for a current example I straight up love Kofi's boyfriend he's SO FUN AND NICE AND GOOD FOR THEM. in this house we stan). and I have really liked the majority of people who've dated people I've been dating tbh. I also think I'm pretty good at telling the difference between 'I like this person but I don't think their relationship looks great' and 'I don't like this person'.

but I get So Anxious about, even in my own head, being honest about the bad vibes I get about a relationship my partner is having. it's one of the trickiest things about poly, I think, and it's something I've dealt with probably 4 or 5 times now?

cause, at least in my model of polyamory, a relationship that your partner is having with someone else is theirs, not yours. Like a relationship your sibling or parent or best friend is in - you're potentially very close to it and have ringside seats, but you're not a participant and ultimately you don't get to make decisions about what it looks like.

But like those other types of second-hand relationships, you aren't uninvolved or unaffected by bad ones. Both because you have to watch someone you care about go through it, and because as someone very close to them you end up picking up a lot of flak. When someone you love (whether it's friends, family or romantic partners) is in a relationship that's toxic, abusive, or going through a lot of stress, that has a lot of knock-on effects on you - they're stressed, they need support, they may have less energy or time, they're likely to be more reactive to stuff that triggers bad vibes in their relationship, they may need a listening ear or someone to reassure them they're not being unreasonable (or tell them if they are), they need a safe place to go when stuff blows up, all that stuff.

and that's a difficult balance whatever their relationship is to you. We've all had that thing with a friend or family member where you're threading that needle of like "ok I need to reinforce that they don't deserve to be treated like shit but also I need to be civil with their partner and not make things worse and also there's angles on this I'm not seeing, and do I tell them what I think about their partner or will they turn round down the line and be like WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU ABOUT THEM WHEN YOU'VE ALWAYS HATED THEM." that kind of stuff.

but I do think there's a specific complexity to that in a poly context. because unlike with a friend or sibling or parent or child, in a poly relationship, you and your partner's other partner are kind of in the same space. You might not be in direct competition but you're approaching each other as equals and what you have to say about someone's relationship hits different because of that.

like for me it's often cut both ways too. it drives me nuts if a partner goes to their partner for advice on how to handle our relationship. similarly I really don't want to be implying that my way of being in a relationship with someone is the Right Way and their other partner is just Less Good At Dating Them, because obviously that's not the case, we have different relationships. and I don't feel that way about friends or family. and it's not really jealousy, I don't think, it's just there's a type of closeness bred of similarity that creates a possibility of competition (not necessarily fighting over someone, but competing to be the Best At Dating Them).

in my case I think I often overcorrect for that. hence letting a lot of stuff slide in how my partners' partners behave around me that I absolutely would not let pass if they were my friends' partners. but whether you overcorrect or undercorrect I think it's really hard to navigate tbh.

#red said #this isn't really specifically about my ex's partner tbh just general reflections #but also idk i think it's useful to talk about bc it's one of the trickiest poly pitfalls ime

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mdhwrites · 1 year

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Personally, I remember all of escaping expulsion pretty well. I didn’t mind how Odalia and Alador were presented at this point, but that’s mainly because I thought they would expand on them. Have them represent two major forms of parental abuse, of course they didn’t. they just scapegoat Odalia and make her cartoonishly stupid, while pretending that Alador didn’t go along with her stuff in the flashback.

Using a kid thing was also fine to me. One because Odalia saw Luz as a threat to her authority over Amity, which is bad long term. Two because it was an illegal (according to the GG) underground sale and the Boiling Isles has shown it is pretty brutal, one of the beast hunters gushing about hurting children, teachers getting very excited over toddlers fighting, so it seemed within the realm of possibility that appealing to the customers sadism would be smart. In fact it was arguably one of the last times we see this more brutal side of the Isles.

I agree they should have had more buildup to Amity rebelling. Heck I wouldn’t have minded Amity standing up here if there was a bit of AFTER, so ‘yes Amity rebels here because Luz will literally die if she doesn’t’ but then show that she still defers to her parents or something, have her go ‘I will succeed and be successful like you want, but I don’t want you deciding who I can hang out with anymore.’ Or have Odalia show some genuine affection, but have it be tied with the classic ‘this is for your own good.’

Finally, TO BE FAIR, Luz does show herself experimenting with a load of combos… they just… never get used… ok nevermind that makes it worse.

So… before I get into any of the main points of your post, which are good and show that with some faith, you can see possibility from this episode without being unreasonable. But… I actually have to admit something. Something that, also like your points, the show has made me forget as it doubles down on all the problems that this episode has. This episode honestly only gets more catastrophic the more time that has passed.

But… I should be fair and say that part of why I hate this episode is bias. S1 gave a lot of interesting ideas and questions but very few answers. But my biggest work was mostly written between S1 and 2. Eventually, I had to make stuff up of my own and even from go I had.

And the two biggest elements? The ones I might also be most proud of besides what I did with Boscha? Luz's magic and the Blight family. And I could do an entire blog, EACH, on how I did them in Power of Love and why I did them that way.

And then comes Escaping Expulsion entirely eviscerating anything I did and in a way that I consider fairly lazy and lackluster. Like… It's just not a great episode even if you remove bias. Is it literally the worst? In a bubble, probably not. My worst three episodes are for what they do to the series as a whole, which again, the show only made a stronger case for being a severe negative the more time that has passed.

But I do need to properly acknowledge that I'll never be able to judge this episode entirely on its own merits because of my work with fanfiction for the show and wish I had done before.

Anyways. I've talked about just how bad the Blight parents are and how disinteresting they are in the end. One by being so bluntly, cartoonishly evil that it feels from another decade and makes no sense in a show trying to be smarter and the other by being so wishy washy in characterization and role that… I find him just boring. Boring and useless because it doesn't ever actually pay off. This was just when it began.

So I would argue that the sale itself was entirely legit. It seemed to just be a press event like E3 or the like for video games. What made it illegal was the nature of the abomaton being able to be used as a personal soldier and by how Odalia and Alador react, that thought had not crossed their mind. Bare minimum, not for the purpose of an army. It was genuinely seen as "Have one abomaton in every household to keep you and your valuables safe!"

And… I do agree that it can feel very Isles to use a kid for the demonstration. As time has passed that is eviscerated because there ARE child safety laws in the Isles apparently, and always have been, and S2 Isles just feels different. It doesn't feel the same way S1 did where it is unilaterally cruel. It is just bad players now which is far less interesting and hurts S1 making any sense. The two are just incompatible.

I guess the real problem is that it's so off the mark of what real marketing would look like for this (especially a human. Cool, you murdered this magicless child who keeps somehow casting magic with paper. Get in an actual abomination mage again and then we can be impressed) that it just bothers me. Again, that's the bias as much as anything else talking. That or just hating the fact that Odalia is so evil as to murder a child, especially while knowing that it might genuinely devastate Amity.

Like… When we talk about Odalia being a bad mother, it feels more like her family is an excuse to her more than literally anything else. She is PURE evil with them.

For the Amity stuff, I think that's a reasonable level of complexity to want for a main supporting character like Amity. The Blights were never going to be as complex as I made them, that would have probably hurt the show honestly even without the shortening. But… Something. Literally anything to not make it such basic, lazy garbage that is then thrown away would have been nice.

I said this yesterday I think but there really is something be said about how much of Amity's character was DESIGNED to be thrown away once the shock value was gone so that any obstacle or contrast to Luz could be removed as quickly as possible. And very rarely is it satisfying to see.

And finally the combo glyphs. We get lip service about her working on combos like… twice besides when she just introduces having made one without a real explanation for how. The only time we see a myriad of combos is when she's checking out the ones Philip made which don't look so complex as to have not accidentally been made by Luz already by then. Just saying, especially with how much time supposedly passes. It's… functional. That is the best thing I can say about it.

But kind of like how little the portal actually feels important to Luz in most episodes of the show, how little effort is put into it and how only one real episode of S2B is spent on trying to even further making the portal… It just comes off as shallow. You made this a big deal before then deciding it wasn't but you haven't even tried to give an excuse to the audience as to why it's important. So you can say that Luz is working on glyphs but if we never actually see that… We only have her word to believe.

And we all know how much Luz likes to lie to make herself look better and make things easier on herself. And I'd maybe argue the show has a habit of it itself.

#TOH #Rambles

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mysticscrystalrevelation · 6 days

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Game 2 Rewind Fri, May 17th 4:30pm EDT Mystics @ Connecticut

Starting five: WASH: Atkins, Austin, Dolson, Samuelson, Sykes CONN: Bonner, Carrington, Harris, Jones, Thomas

1st Quarter It's starting off a bit frenetic with lots of missed shots. The Sun actually aren't looking as hot as usual on D - it's gappy. The question against them is always how do you guard their height and AT too. I usually like Yish for that job and there you go she is subbed in within 4 minutes despite AT not playing with much energy at the start in my opinion. Somehow Karlie Samuelson is assigned DB right now… And YAY Yish hits the 3! Timeout called to dial in the shot percentage I imagine, because oof the misses this quarter—something is off in Uncasville. Sykes turned her ankle. Some sort of ankle/foot injury keeping her down a long time. WHAT IS WITH THE FOOT INJURIES! STOP. Slim off to the tunnel, who comes in now? It's gonna be Julie Vanloo. That surprises me a bit with the height issue, but I love putting someone in at this point with something to prove and a great shooting percentage. We just got some impressive first seconds from Aaliyah Edwards. I'm about ready to take back everything I said about height— it's Yish and Edwards out there and not an issue right now… Ok finally Nelson-Ododa blocks Edwards. Edwards turns around and forces a turn from AT. Love that. The shots picking up a little now. Lots more trips to the line tonight than Tuesday. 20-18 to end the quarter.

2nd Quarter Sykes left ankle sprain—questionable to return. Vanloo just ignored all the tall and ran through them to the hoop while they just watched lol. Why is Vanloo getting so many rebounds?? Not complaining just interested. We get an outstanding defensive stop ending with a Shatori block as the seconds ran out for the Sun. Breezy is clearly not back 100% yet which is too bad. She had such an amazing year before she got hurt. DC is benefitting from that right now though. Edwards is impressing me—the mistakes she is making just look like adjustment mistakes. Overall it is very very good news (and carrying on a theme from recent years) that the Mystics look unrattled by a starter having to sit. They look just as smooth and energetic with multiple bench players. It's the DC way. Too many silly turns for us this half, but the mistakes by Connecticut have taken the pressure off those moments. A Sun run forces a timeout as it's now 28-32. Karlie Samuelson playing excellent every minute she's been on the floor. It is weird to see a Mystics-Sun game that feels so mellow. Usually it's a physical, chippy mess. Early days? Washington is in the bonus already though I guess. Earl yet to get going. 36-36 at the half Even though the score is low and level, this game is getting me super hyped for the season.

3rd Quarter The battle continues. Samuelson (6') still on DB (6'4"). Tell me I'm wrong: Ariel Atkins is the most consistent guard when it comes to going after boards. Automatic/disciplined more than anyone else I see. Tell me who does it better. Also, is it my bias or are the foul calls (and no calls) in Connecticut worse than everywhere else? For both teams I feel. AT freight trained Samuelson and goes to the line. I thought Karlie hit her head on the deck but she got up holding her elbow, seems ok. Every time we get down, Dolson hits a trey to brings us back. It's back and forth right now, still physical. Ha Vanloo just hit the most ridiculous rainbow I've every seen. We have no answer for Nelson-Ododa. I'm surprised they haven't used her more. Shatori says: pull up is my shot this year; Earl sick bounce pass inside to Edwards for the lay up; Karlie hits career best 16 with a quarter to go. 56-52

4th Quarter Our defense is slowing down Connecticut a bit. BUT Carrington is hungggggry. And they keep getting to the line. Oof it's the officiating always in Connecticut… Yikes it's a massive SUN run in the 4th like we've seen too too many times—62-71. Recurring nightmare alert. Connecticut in the bonus though. We bring it back to 73-75 with 1:49 left. But ugh the fouls! A painful end on this one: 77-84 Sun take it.

Unforced turnovers definitely too high for DC today. And we need to figure out the 4th quarter business. Props to Ashley Battle on the commentary. We're glad you're a Vanloo fan.

#washington mystics #mystics #wnba #game 2 #connecticut sun

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baekhvuns · 2 years

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I'm trying to remember what I said in one of my messages, but essentially I agreed that silver Hwa is underrated, I even argued with one of my "friends" cause they don't like him with lighter hair, stfu.

Also about talking to Ateez, I don't think I've ever had a coherent conversation with Wooyoung, but he's easy to talk to in general ihsusjanjdajxhjsjaja. And to answer your question which members are slightly more awkward to talk to, I feel like I don't know that much about Mingi and Yeosang 😭 our talks are always nice and fun, but idk. Like I might not have that much in common with Yunho or Jongho, but I find it easier to talk to them than Mingi and Yeo. 🤔 which pains me since Yeo is in my bias line

Aaaaand I need to listen to Kibum's album with more focus, cause I had no time to give it a proper listen, but he performed Villain in a cat hat so I won!

Omfg yes imagine if the Malta guy found Seonghwa and his first thought would be "I know his gf" instead "that girl lied to me" snhdisdhhdjsjssnsns. Malta was fun, didn't go to any of the 365 churches, but it was great, though I didn't really relax so I'm tired 😭

Model Seonghwa please come true ok, then I might change my mind. Also wtf is this assassin Seonghwa fic I'm hearing of, anon don't make me go crazy and stupid 😢

Yeah I can't believe my uber driver followed me to Malta, I told him to stay....

Lmao the Shinestar urges I get you. What did you say about the ending??? Will it be worse than Khr*nus... because I might block you bestie 🤨 you need to be stopped #stopmissbaek2022 go easy on me or I'm on my my way to Van City to 🤺

Btw I started reading this webtoon called For My Derelict Favorite, I relate to the protagonist because I am too very unhinged about my fave characters and would love to save some of them 😭 (me trying to teleport myself into the world of Khr*nus to fix everything)

Who the fuck is this sugar grandma I'm dying, lady please, why is she living my dream. The chicken foot necklac? The grip she has on Lix's hand... (apparently she's a racist transphobe, so I don't feel bad for saying that)

Fuck them kids, but Seonghwa with kids... hm, maybe I'm not opposed. Imagine a cute kindergarten teacher Hwa and Y/N who's basically forced to work there then sees the way Seonghwa cares for the lil gremlins and goes "maybe this job isn't that bad after all..."

Uh do you perhaps know Kim Jae Young because there's a new drama with him, even if it sucks ass I need to see it 😳 his recent drama Reflection of You fucked me up.

I need to find the Hwa call script in my notes so I can send it to you again!

P.S. ?????? Something is very wrong with that guy. I'm trying to be normal, but HOW? - DV 💖

hi helloo!!!

AS U SHOULD,,, seonghwa be suiting every single colour atp and it's not even funny bc hOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE GODS FAVOURITE pls ask him that at a fan sign 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

LMFAOOOO i just imagine him rambling and u trying to catch on but he switched the topic so ur more confused fbdbf,, AAAAAAA i kinda expected that ngl 😭 😭 they seem like ppl who u would have a better convo in person or when u know know them,, YEOSANG IS IN UR BIAS LINE????? NEW DAY NEW INFO????

Aaaaand I need to listen to Kibum's album with more focus, cause I had no time to give it a proper listen, but he performed Villain in a cat hat so I won!

EXACTLY HI IN THAT CAT SUIT,, IS WAIST???? GOD BLESS THAT MAN

LMFAOOO, and if he tells hwa and hwa's all "?????? s-sorry??" ahh hope ur gettting the rest needed!! if ur in england i guess 12 days of holidays for u (??) considering what happened to miss lizzie,, AH I WANTED TO ASK SINCE IN MALTA THERES this keyhole piazza dei cavalieri di malta,, did u have the chance to visit that???

Model Seonghwa please come true ok, then I might change my mind. Also wtf is this assassin Seonghwa fic I'm hearing of, anon don't make me go crazy and stupid 😢 //// Yeah I can't believe my uber driver followed me to Malta, I told him to stay....

kayq needs to make it happen, they got their first skincare endorsement it's only a matter of time they start getting the bigger branded ones, seonghwa for gucci or ysl im about to have a kai hwa meltdown irl and on fic 😭😭😭😭😭

iM literally writing that yunho fic under seonghwa's name jdjhv the ending, yES the ending yes, hope u like it <33 y/n unbothered girlboss era coming to ur area soon,,, LMFAOOOO BLOCK ME AFTER U SCREAM AT HOW DUMB SEONGHWA IS BHKDFFG come to van city <3

oh??/ the main guy fine as hell, reminded me of tomoe 😭 😭 😭 LMFAOOOO KHRONUS SEONGHWA DEAD HE'S WAITING TO BE RESERRUCTED BY U

that's actually me.

LMFHSDFSJKDHSFS NOT THE CHICKEN FOOT NECKLACE????? 😭 😭😭 😭😭 😭 ......no way????? omg what the hell is going on 😭 😭

SO TRUE SO TRUE FUCK KIDS IF NOT WITH SEONGHWA >>>>> here me out, jock!seonghwa & teacherspet!y/n have to do mandatory volunteering services at a kindergarten boom boom LIL GREMLINS GGHHJRHBJVEHJ sometimes i see some wild kids and want to discipline them and then i rmr they arent mine,,, go crazy go stupid i guess just not next to me jehheshjdfh i would like to say,in the universe of hwa and yn, their child, youngest, hyun is a wild child, if wooyoung and baekhyun was in one, that is what it would be like

Uh do you perhaps know Kim Jae Young because there's a new drama with him, even if it sucks ass I need to see it 😳 his recent drama Reflection of You fucked me up.

STOP BC I WAS GONNA SEND U THIS SGDFHGAFGH I KNOW HIM AND WHY DID HE GET SO FINE AGAIN 😭😭 😭 i am very intrigued just by the video and the personality he shows and i am certain seonghwa au will happen, BUT I SAW THE TRAILER AND GO KYUNG PYO'S IN IT??? this better not turn out to be like true beauty, pls give jaeyoung a chance 😭😭 😭 that jaeyoung reminded me of this hwa and 😳 😳

I need to find the Hwa call script in my notes so I can send it to you again! //// P.S. ?????? Something is very wrong with that guy. I'm trying to be normal, but HOW? - DV 💖

YES PLS DO !!!,, why would u send that to me, esp after u sent that nose presentation, DO U THINK MY HEART IS WEAK???? BC IT IS PLS FASJFHJHF

Hellloooo I forgot to say this but why is my uber driver's clone on the cover of Vogue???

i have a few questions about ur uber driver actually,,, what's going on.

Also imagine this... what would you do 🎤

sweet home alabama.

This is so cute, I've been taking care of my manga collection recently and bought so much 😭 I also sold some things, but wheew I need a separate room for my kpop and manga stuff. Aaaaaand I watched or re-watched a lot of shoujo anime and my bad habit of coming up with Seonghwa AUs based on the shows is getting out of hand... h e l p - DV 💖

omg my bookstore would never 😭 😭 😭 😭 but that's such a cool idea,,, OOOOOOO which ones did u own?? i owned a maid sama volume once bgbfg NO EXACTLY WHAT U SAID ABT WATCHING SHOUJO AND MAKING HWA THE MAIN LEAD IN THEM THEM I , ALSO, EVERY SINGLE, SHOW. currently stuck at usui as hwa 😭 😭thoughts 🎤

u should gift this to hwa one fine day

second slide??? 😭😭

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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folkloreguk · 4 years

Text

Mirror, Mirror (m)

A/N: I will never ever determine which body type the reader has, but I want every single one of you to know that it’s okay to feel empowered by the way your nude body looks, you’re absolutely beautiful and no size is a limit to how sexy you can be!!! You go queens!

words: ~5.4 (I’m sorry idk how to write short things anymore asdfgh)

genre: smut, optional bias (male) x reader (female), kinda fwb??, sexting

[H/N means “his name”]

There’s no feeling quite like the one of trying on your new clothes that just arrived in the mail and loving how they looked. Especially when said clothes were lingerie and you felt like you could conquer the world, even when you were just standing in front of your mirror at 7 pm after you had just stuffed your stomach with lasagna. And what better way to enjoy your happiness than to share it with your best friend?

In fact, you had two best friends. One, a girl who you could trust with your life, and two, a boy who knew all your deepest secrets. One of the central differences between the two was that you would never think about asking the former about his opinion on your new lingerie. You almost laughed at the mere thought while you went through your contacts list and selected your friend’s name and clicked ‘send’. “It’s new. How do I look?” you typed and sent quickly, before throwing your phone onto you bed. You were feeling sexy, but for the rest of the evening there was only one way you wanted to feel: Comfortable. So, you changed into your pajamas instead.

You wondered what she would say about your photo. Sending almost-nudes to your friend might have seemed odd, but for the two of you, it was a completely normal occurrence. You loved making sure you both felt beautiful and confident by complimenting each other. Happily, you walked back to your room after you had picked up some snacks in the kitchen. You grabbed your phone as you plopped down on your bed. While you stuffed a handful of crisps into your mouth, you unlocked your phone to check your messages. You had expected a text from your best girl friend, but instead you had received one from H/N, your best boy friend. Pure horror consumed you when you clicked on the chat and saw your almost-nude there. Sent at 7:01 pm. Seen at 7:05 pm. And worst of all, he had replied before you could have clarified the mistake.

H/N: Idk where this came from but…you’re hot

You: SORRY THIS WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU

H/N: Okay that kinda offends me…you have a bf and didn’t tell me???

You: NO OMG THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING HELP…it was for GF/N just for fun!!!

H/N: Ohhh…in that case…

You watched the dots signaling that he was still writing while you were still wondering how you would ever look at him without getting embarrassed from now on. It wasn’t like the two of you never talked about sex. In fact, he knew a lot about what you liked and didn’t like in the bedroom. Not because he had witnessed it. But thanks to multiple sleep overs with late-night conversations, when your lips became a little loose, you had discussed more sexual topics than you had ever dreamt of. Your cheeks were still feeling hot when you received another text.

H/N: How do I look?

Without missing a beat, he had attached a photo of him. Shirtless. His hair was disheveled, as if he had just removed his shirt, which he probably had. His sweatpants hung low on his hips as he stood in front of a mirror. He had tilted his head a little, showing off his jawline while he gazed at the camera with hooded eyes. You felt more embarrassed with every second you kept staring at his body.

H/N: OMG sorry this wasn’t for you!!!!!

Now you could only laugh at his stupid message.

You: Stop making fun of me!!

H/N: I’m trying to make you feel better!! Do I not get a compliment?

You: Thanks and you look great…can we please NEVER bring this up in the future?

H/N: Sure if that’s what you want…but if you ever need someone to rate your underwear again you know where to find me

~~~

And he really kept his promise. The next time you hung out, he was joking about everything but your little accident. You were thankful. But not mentioning the memory didn’t automatically delete it from your brain. And that’s where your newest problem begun.

You had never really looked at him in a sexual way before – sure, you thought he was handsome – but after than one damned picture he had sent you, you seemed to see him in a completely different light. There were no romantic feelings involved. But something felt profusely wrong about the way you thought about sex when he reached for a glass on the highest kitchen shelf and a small part of his abs was revealed. Or the way you instinctively licked your lips when you watched him stretch his neck in front of you. Or how your head spun when he lifted his shirt to wipe away his sweat when you worked out together.

One day was particularly bad. He had asked you to go to the public pool together, and being his best friend, of course you had said yes. As expected, he made you laugh until you were crying, scream when he playfully wrestled you in the water and giggle when he chased you on the water slide. And yet, you couldn’t help but notice his body. You almost felt bad, but then again, it wasn’t like you adored his character any less. You simply had some added adoration for another part of him. What were you supposed to do when he looked this good acting out a comic character while you played charades in the water? You might have been laughing on the outside, but you could barely tear your eyes off his neck and chest. Lately, you realized, the amount of thoughts you spent on wanting to kiss him had become problematic to you.

When you returned home at night, you couldn’t deny feeling sexually frustrated. Not wanting to give in to the inappropriate thoughts about your best friend, you turned on a tv show to distract yourself. But before you knew it, you were spending more time looking at your phone than at the tv screen. At first you browsed social media, but somehow you mustn’t have payed enough attention to your unconscious mind. You had miraculously landed on his Instagram, and when that didn’t entertain you anymore, you found yourself going back to your text messages with him. When you started at the shirtless picture he had sent you, you regretted not deleting it and forgetting about it right away. You wondered if he could ever feel the same way about you. You didn’t need any romantic feelings from him, in fact, you had no interest in a relationship at the moment. But you had never wanted someone this bad before and it was driving you crazy. So, before you could have stopped yourself, you were typing a message to him.

You: what r u doing??

H/N: do you miss me already?

H/N: ok do you really wanna know?

You: shut up you usually message me first!! and yes I do

H/N: I was about to jack off but you interrupted me

You almost choked on nothing when you read his message. Pretending you didn’t care, you replied quickly.

You: oh no am I killing the mood?

H/N: I didn’t say that

You: ????

H/N: don’t take this the wrong way but if you ever thought about sending me nudes again now would be the time

You: are u crazy?? are you actually asking me for nudes rn

H/N: it was worth a try ok let’s go back to being best friends who would never hook up

If you were freaking out about his previous messages, this one made you lose your mind completely. What was he saying? As confused as you were, you were also equally as sexually frustrated as he seemed to be. So, without a second thought, you chose the latest underwear picture you had taken and sent it to H/N.

You: that’s the most you’ll get…I won’t send complete nudes

You stared at the three dots indicating that he was writing a message. It felt like five minutes had passed when he finally replied.

H/N: fuck you’re so hot

And then he sent another shirtless picture. His bulge was prominent against his pants and the sight of it didn’t exactly help you with the pent-up frustration inside of you. But maybe it didn’t need to, because apparently, he felt the same way about you. You wanted to tell him about it. But there was no way you would be sexting your best friend at 11 pm, horny and frustrated. You knew you’d regret it and you’d only end up being embarrassed the next day. With no idea what to send him instead, you opted for simply waiting to see if he would say something. But he didn’t. Whilst waiting, you looked at his picture again. His jawline, his shoulders, his abs…and his boner straining against his sweatpants. For a moment you wondered if he was thinking about you too. Was he imagining it was you who was touching him when his hand wrapped around his cock? The more you let your thoughts run free, the worse your frustration became. And before you knew it, your hand was between your legs.

~~~

The next day you went about your duties, trying hard to pretend the previous day had been nothing but a fever dream. Luckily, you weren’t going to see him for another few days, so you could already practice an explanation of why sending nudes to each other had been a crazy idea. You worried about whether you could ever be the same around him after what had happened. But no matter how hard you tried to come up with a good reason why you should never even mention it again, you couldn’t. You were best friends who found each other hot. So what? Things could be worse. By nighttime, you had changed your mind. You were in the process of getting ready for sleeping, when your phone vibrated on your nightstand. His name lit up the screen.

H/N: you up?

You: not for long…whats up

H/N: I’m sorry for what I said yesterday about us not hooking up and so on…I was tipsy and you know my loose lips when I’m drunk

You: there’s nothing you need to apologize for

H/N: I was being weird and creepy…you’re my best friend

You: and you’re mine…that doesn’t stop me from finding you attractive

H/N: so I didn’t creep you out asking you for nudes?

You: I sent them to you, didn’t I… so what do u think

H/N: btw…thanks for that

You: likewise

…

H/N: so you’d do it again?

You: you’re not drunk now are you?

H/N: no just horny

You: dude I was about to go to sleep

If this had been a random guy you were occasionally talking to, you would have declined the request right away. You were tired and didn’t exactly feel too confident in your physical state. Nonetheless, you walked over to your mirror, pulled your shirt up until your bare breasts were almost exposed, and snapped a picture. Maybe it was the fact that you knew he’d return the favor and send you something back, or the immense trust you had in him. Posing in different ways, you took a few more pictures before you jumped back onto your bed. Impulsively, you chose the pictures you liked best and sent them to your best friend.

You: the things I do for you

H/N: fuck you look so good

You: have you always thought like that about me?

H/N: have I always found you hot?

You: yeah

H/N: I mean I never not found you hot

You: thanks I guess??

H/N: maybe we should have done this way earlier

You: agreed

Your eyes widened when he sent you a picture. He was still in his underwear, but his hand was wrapped around his visibly hard member outlined by the dark fabric. You had wanted to sleep, but somehow after looking at the photo for a little too long, you were wide awake. Leaning against the headboard of the bed, you let your head imagine whatever came to your mind. Never before had you noticed how much you liked his hands. Or maybe it was a temporary thing, now that you were already thinking inappropriate thoughts. You imagined it was his fingers softly touching the inside of your thigh, squeezing your breasts and playing with your nipples. The first time you moaned his name quietly, your cheeks heated up. But the more you thought of him, and the more you allowed yourself to wish it was him between your thighs, the more natural his name sounded between your whimpers.

And the two of you didn’t stop there. You might haven’t had time to hang out with him for another week or so, but you were texting each other more than ever before. Almost every night, you sent pictures to each other. With every passing day and every time you came thinking about his body on top of yours, you became more comfortable. Your messages to each other turned dirtier with every day and every picture was a little riskier than the previous one. By the way you cried out his name every night, your neighbors must have thought you had gotten a new boyfriend. One that was exceptionally good in bed, by the sounds of it.

Now it was exactly one week and a day after you had first sent him a picture of you. You had just stepped out of the shower and had a towel wrapped around your body as you entered your bedroom.

One could’ve thought you were going to be less horny, the more time you spent texting him about your inappropriate thoughts. It should have gotten less exciting at some point, shouldn’t it? To you, it was the complete opposite. He was all your thought about at night. So when you noticed your phone on your bed, you couldn’t stop your urge. You grabbed it, unlocked it and went straight to your messages with him.

You: please tell me you’re alone

H/N: yeah I am…do u need something?

Even though his text might have sounded innocent to anyone else, considering what you had done for each other all week long, you instantly got excited.

You: I have a present for you but since you’re not here I’ll unwrap it for you

H/N: I love presents

You had taken multiple photos. Starting from your with a towel covered body, you had slowly revealed more skin to him, until you had dropped the fabric completely. In the last picture you were covering your nipples with one hand across your chest, making sure your slightly parted lips were in the frame as well. After you had pressed ‘send’, you got comfortable on your bedsheets, not so patiently waiting for his reply. You hadn’t been able to get him off your mind while you had been showering. Now you didn’t even need to touch yourself to know how dripping wet you already were.

H/N: this is what you do to me

You were surprised when you saw his message. He had attached a video. Up to that day, it had only been photos you had sent to each other. So, when you clicked the ‘play’ button, you almost felt nervous. But the nervousness changed into something wholly different within the first two seconds of the video. His hand was down his pants, clearly stroking himself. He wasn’t speaking, but even the simple sound of his breathing behind the camera made your head spin.

H/N: do you want more?

You: I wish you were actually here

A blink of an eye after you had sent the message, instant regret hit you. Had you crossed a line? There had never been serious talk of the two of you actually hooking up, although you surely had thought about it more than you wanted to admit.

H/N: me too

You sighed in relief. So he wasn’t thinking you were going too far.

H/N: but its late and we’ve got work tomorrow

You barely had time to even think about a reply. The sole fact that he was seriously considering coming over or letting you drive to his place right now only justified the saying “People want what they can’t get”.

You: you’re right…this will have to do

…

H/N: let me know if you need more

But you already had your hand between your legs, his name on the brink of falling off your lips.

The next day, you were surprisingly focused on your work. Of course, you thought of him. He was your best friend, after all. Who would you have been if you didn’t wonder what he was up to or if you didn’t wish he was having a nice day? But that was about it. No dirty thoughts, no random sexual frustration at 2 in the afternoon. That was, until your phone vibrated in your pockets and you opened his message.

H/N: wanna hang out at my place tonight?

It was finally Friday. After over a week of not seeing him, you didn’t just want to meet him because you wanted him sexually. You missed his silly jokes and the way he made you feel careless after a stressful day. So, needless to say, you agreed.

You weren’t sure what was going to happen. Were you just going to hang out, the way friends do? Were you even going to mention your texts to each other? Your nerves were going mad when you drove to his place in the evening. It was a weird feeling to have about your best friend, you had to admit. But then again, you had every right to after the past week.

When he opened the door for you, you didn’t feel half as awkward as you thought you would. His hug felt the way it always did, and his room still was like a second home to you.

“Do you wanna order take out?” he asked.

“What’s in your fridge?” you returned the question.

“If I’d have to guess I’d say two eggs, half a bottle of soda and some yogurt,” he said. You laughed, already pulling up an app to order some food.

“Take out it is,” you grinned, falling onto your stomach on his bed. He followed your example. His shoulder was touching yours while you tried hard to focus on scrolling through the different offers of meals. But your look was drawn to his hands too close to yours and from one moment to the other, your mind was flooded with sinful pictures. You thought of him here, in this very bed, jerking off to the thought of you. Taking pictures of himself so you could do the same. Too many times you had imagined your face buried in his pillows, letting him hear the way you had been crying his name all week long, being able to make him cum with your own body and feeling his lips on your skin. Was he thinking the same things right now? Was he also struggling to focus on the simplest tasks?

“You’ve been looking at that chicken for a while now. Are you gonna order it or not?” he asked, making fun of you. How were you going to sit here, waiting and then calmly eating your dinner as if nothing was different? When you didn’t reply, he grabbed your hands along with your phone, making you look at him. You couldn’t instantly read his expression. All you knew is that in six years of friendship, he had never once looked at you this way. Inevitably, your eyes went to his lips and back to his eyes.

“Aren’t we going to mention this whole nudes-sending situation at all?” he suddenly asked, grinning cheekily. “What? You’re thinking about it too, aren’t you?”

You swallowed thickly. “Thinking about what, exactly?”

“How badly I wanted you last night,” he said. His face was close to yours. If you only bent forward slightly, you could kiss him.

“As in…now you don’t want me anymore?” you asked. He chuckled.

“Do you really think I didn’t want to push you against the closest wall and make out with you the second you stepped into my house today?” he asked.

“Then why didn’t you?” you asked, smirking and inching your lips closer to his. “Because I would have loved that.”

Instead of answering you, he finally leaned in to connect your lips. Within the first seconds you were moaning, and his tongue was on yours. You abandoned your phone on his sheets, swinging one leg over his waist to straddle him. He groaned into your mouth when you pushed your hips against his, your crotch rubbing over his bulge. Judging by the way you both reacted, neither of you had plans to take this slow.

His hands wandered over your sides and to your ass, squeezing it a little. You only moaned again, your fingers getting busy with his button up shirt. Teasingly, he bit your lip while he pushed your shirt higher, goosebumps rising on the skin he touched. His breathing became heavier when you let your hands roam his chest, pushing the fabric of his open shirt to the side eagerly. When you rolled your hips over his bulge again, you felt his erection more prominently than before, making you smile to yourself. For a moment you pulled away and pulled your shirt over your head.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for so long,” he confessed, watching as you discarded your bra onto the floor.

“Me too,” you agreed. He had sat up as well, and you helped him remove his shirt eagerly. “I’ve been wondering what your hands feel like.”

At your words, he pulled you back on top of him, playing with your breasts softly. You reacted, leaning over him, so he could take one of your nipples into his mouth. You whimpered at the way his tongue pressed against your sensitive skin. He gave the same attention to the other side, his breath leaving behind a cold sensation where he had kissed you.

Then, you bent to his level again, lips meeting in a needy kiss. You let his tongue lead yours for a while. Meanwhile, your hands sneaked to the waistband of his sweatpants. He hissed into your mouth as you grabbed his length through his pants, palming him through the fabric.

“Are you still into biting?” you asked, referring to a late-night talk you had had in the past. He smirked, nodding. Softly, at first, you nibbled on his neck, occasionally licking and kissing him. You got the exact reaction you had expected when you bit him, not to harshly, but probably leaving a purple mark nonetheless. He moaned and threw his head back, only exposing more of his neck to you. As time went on, you made your way down his chest and his stomach, settling between his legs. As much as you enjoyed hearing his moans and attempts to make you hurry, you were just as impatient, if not worse.

In one go, you pulled down his pants and underwear. He lifted his hips so you could fully take the clothing off his legs. Your mouth watered at the sight of him below you.

“If you had told me two weeks ago, I would be sucking your dick today, I would have called you a clown,” you chuckled.

“Look how the tables have turned,” he said, laughing with you. But his expression hardened the moment your hand wrapped around his length. You stroked him a few times, before lowering your head. Your tongue licked a stripe up the side of his shaft, until you opened your lips just enough to take his tip into your mouth. He cursed under his breath when you batted your eyelashes at him.

“Fuck, don’t look at me like that,” he said.

“Why? Don’t you like it?” you asked, your hand continuously touching him.

“I like it maybe a little too much,” he said, only making you grin. His expression read pleasure, his brows furrowed and his lips hung slightly agape.

“There’s no such thing as liking something too much,” you said. Purposely, you watched his face when you wrapped your mouth around his cock, tongue pressing flat against the tip. Steadily, you bobbed your head, your hand covering the rest of his length. His thighs were flexing under your hands and his stomach was rising and falling in an uneven rhythm. He propped himself up on his forearms, watching you intently.

“This feels so much better when you do it,” he said, followed by a groan when his cock touched the back of your throat for a moment. Your hand was covered in your saliva by now, eyes tearing up a little bit, but you blinked the tears away quickly. Every time you pulled away a little, you made sure to swirl your tongue around the tip. Right away, you had noticed the way he hissed at that specific action. Again, he cursed under his breath and you made eye contact once more. His lips looked pink from where he had been biting them and his cheeks were slightly flushed a rosy color.

“Oh my god-,“ he moaned. “I’m so fucking close.”

You bobbed your head faster now. After another few seconds you pulled away, replacing your mouth with your hand. The muscles on his stomach were tense and he had his hands balled to tight fists next to his body. You enjoyed his moans for a while longer, before you could feel him twitch in your hands. When he reached his high, he let his body fall back, his arms no longer able to hold himself up to watch you. The evidence of his pleasure spilled onto his abs and you slowly let your hand come to a rest. One of his hands was swung over his forehead as he breathed heavily. When you looked up at him again, he still seemed exhausted but was grinning from ear to ear.

“Give me a second and I’ll return the favor,” he said, sitting up. At his words you realized once more how much you wanted him. Quickly, he cleaned himself up. As you rolled over to lay on your back next to his sitting figure, you yawned briskly, getting comfy in his sheets.

“You’re bored? If you want we can also just watch a movie, or if you feel like-,“ he said with raised eyebrows.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” You sarcastically laughed, rolling your eyes at him. “I’m open for whatever. Right after you’ve made me cum on this mattress.”

“Alright,” he chuckled, turning so he hovered over you. “I think we can arrange that.”

He went straight to kissing your stomach and hips, while he unzipped your pants for you. His kisses tickled you a little, but the sensation was quickly forgotten by how close his hand was to where you wanted him most. In order to let him take off your pants, you lifted your hips a little. When he had thrown your pants aside, he couldn’t hide the cocky grin on his face at the sight of your underwear.

“This looks familiar…where have I seen these before?” he asked innocently, placing his hand on the material. You flinched a little when his fingers hovered over your center. It was a fleeting touch, but the lack of attention had made you needier than you would have thought.

“Imagine I hadn’t accidentally sent you that first picture,” you said.

“I don’t even want to imagine that,” he said, his dramatic tone making you laugh a little. Abruptly, your laugh turned into a whimper when he pressed one of his fingers against your covered clit.

“I get that you’re in no rush anymore, but I’m not gonna lie, I am,” you said, wriggling against his hand. He chuckled again but seemed to obey your request. His hand slid into the hem of your underwear, fingers instantly coated in your juices. In response, you only hummed contently when he curled his digits against your clit. Within seconds you relaxed into his touch. You put one of your arms under your head and closed your eyes for a while. Now and then, he teased your core by almost pushing his fingers inside of you, but then not doing so. As frustrating as it was, you couldn’t help but moan at the feeling. With skill, he rolled your clit between his digits. His free hand pulled on your underwear slightly, but not quite enough for it to come off. You whined at his teasing, looking into his eyes with a pleading gaze. He watched your expression for a while, probably enjoying the fact that he finally had the real you underneath him, instead of having to stare at some photos on his cellphone. So he finally obliged, making you feel empty when he pulled his hand out of your soaked panties, but simultaneously thankful.

“You have no idea how many times I imagined doing this within the last week,” he said. Then, he lowered his head and took your clit into his mouth. You had only opened your mouth to reply, but the words seemed to be deleted from your brain before they had time to come out, replaced by empty curse words. He didn’t waste any time in taking it slow, but you couldn’t have minded less. When he inserted to of his digits into you, your toes curled in pleasure and relief. With the way you whimpered desperately whenever he curled them against your walls, he had found your sweet spot in almost no time.

For more than a week you had been imagining, demanding for his touch, so deeply that now you could barely think straight when you finally got what you wanted. His tongue could do so much better than your own fingers could ever satisfy you. It was the unpredictability that made this so much more enticing than when you touched yourself. Would he slow down for a while, giving your breathing time to calm down, only to suck on your swollen clit feverishly out of nowhere? Would he curl his fingers inside of you almost painfully slowly, or would he almost pull them out completely, only to slide them right back into your core, until your vision felt so blurry you had to close your eyes? The more you thought about how good he made you feel, the quicker you felt your orgasm approach. One of his hands softly stroked over your belly, a strong contrast to the way your insides seemed to tie themselves into a tight knot that took up all your attention.

“Oh my god- please don’t stop,” you only moaned. Of course he didn’t. He only hummed against your center, only adding to how incredible you felt. As much as you loved watching him between your legs, there was no force that could have kept your eyes from shutting anymore. Your back arched off the sheets and your hands tightened in pleasure when the familiar feeling washed over your mind. You whimpered and struggled hard to keep your legs from closing around his head. For a few seconds you were blinded by the bliss, until your sensitivity began to set in. You softly pushed his head with your fingers in his hair, and he slowed down and drew back.

It took you a while to come down and until your breathing had regained its normality. Your eyelids fluttered open, while he plopped down next to you. He swung one of his arms around your waist, an action he had done multiple times in the past – only now neither of you was wearing clothes.

“That was amazing,” you said. “And here I thought I’d forever regret sending you that photo.”

He chuckled. “Agreed. So, what do you say? Are we able to focus on what to order for takeout now?”

You nodded and laughed, hoping this instance wouldn’t be the last time this happened between you two.

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colourful-void · 3 years

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Supporting Satoshi - an examination and comparison of JN36 and XY121

Part One: Snowballs do not cure depression but it was worth a shot

You know that episode of Pokemon where a gym leader beats Satoshi in a battle so hard that one of his pokemon gets mildly hurt (though there's no long term effects) and because of it he becomes depressed, closing himself off from his friends before someone comes along to pull him out of that mental state, and also severe weather phenomena is involved and a reflection of a persons mental state? Or rather, the two episodes?

So when I was watching Journeys, I noticed an episode that had a similar-- but distinctly different-- plot to an xy episode I had seen before. And what was particularly interesting was that while I couldn't stand the xy episode, the journeys episode was one of my favourites. I won't drag this out for you guys, I love the journeys episode and re watch it a LOT and the xy episode sort of just leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth. and don't go claiming its solely ship bias, because i saw the xy episode first and disliked it then.

This will analyze both of these episodes, comparing them against each other. Specifically within the context of how Goh and Serena both help Satoshi through a similar situation There will be some discussion of AmourShipping and Satogou in this analysis. I'm going to be a bit negative regarding Serena's actions and the potential "romantic" weight of them here, but I want to be clear that I Do Not dislike Serena as a character. Personally, I wish the writers had given her more room to grow outside of her romantic interests, but I do not hate Serena as a character. I do, however, disagree with her actions in this episode. Please don't take this out of context and dont be ship fighting in the comments, it's boring. This is a comparison of These Two Episodes, not of Goh and Serena and their respective ships as a whole.

This part mainly focuses on the xy episode and the second will focus mainly on the journeys. It's only divided into parts because of the tumblr post limit.

(If you like the xy episode or hate the journeys episode, awesome! having your own opinions is great. these are mine though, so i hope you'll listen to them)

With that out of the way, let's start. And I'm going to use mostly japanese names here because I'm taking screencaps from the subbed japanese copies.

The set up for each of these episodes is eerily similar as pointed out in the gag at the start.

Xy has a bit more set up before the episode in question though, with the initial loss and retreat into the forest by Satoshi taking place the episode before. The episode opens up proper with Satoshi taking time to breathe to himself, alone in the forest.

Emphasis is placed on him taking a deep breath, aided by the visuals showing them (thanks cold air) and the silence of the rest of the soundscape, with the only other sounds being the wind and some bird pokemon, plus some falling snow.

Journeys Satoshi starts off in a better mental state than Xy, with the episode starting off with him jogging along with his pokemon.

However, we can still see that he's been affected by the last battle he lost, against Saitou, as he's putting a lot of effort into training and doing better.

Which, doesn't go well for him, as he loses his next two battles as well, and drops in the World Championship ranking as a result

And he's pretty upset about it too. Same thing as over in xy. In both cases, a respective friend/love interest notes that Satoshi is upset and expresses concern.

He's got support from his friends in both situations! But that support comes across in very different ways.

But, to understand how that support manages to affect Satoshi, we need to understand the problem at play.

Now, I wanna make something clear here. Satoshi's problem is not that he is a sore loser. I'm not arguing that's not a contributing factor, or that he's not upset about the loss (particularly in the world championships), He's still bitter about the lost part, but the root of the problem is not losing, he's been shown to be fine with losing (if not a bit more motivated to win now) in prior episodes.

Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt, because they're losing battles. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are losing battles because he's not training them well enough. And to clarify, that's not my viewpoint, it's his. Satoshi's problem is that he's not good enough for himself, and he feels that that's something he has to fix on his own.

So how do we help him?

Our weather event in question is introduced in separate points in the episodes, but I'll cover them both now.

In xy, it's this snowstorm, which conveniently becomes a problem directly after Serena returns to the Pokemon Centre.

In journeys, it's a sandstorm! That's in near direct contrast to a snowstorm! Incredible.

Heading back to xy Satoshi, things aren't going great in the forest. Luckily, Serena's run off to find him.

I think it's of note here that Serena runs off with the best intentions, she wants to help Satoshi, plain and simple. It just sort of goes wrong along the way.

It's worth noting that Xy Satoshi tries to bring himself out of being sad by the tried and true method of "stop being sad"

Despite telling himself this, he doesn't get anywhere. Which makes sense, because it's not getting the the root of the problem. It's not even addressing it at all. He's just trying to 'be better', which isn't even a battle strategy. However, it is something I can see him saying, so this isn't a critique of Satoshi's thought process, but me pointing out that this isn't really effective. Which is supported by the narrative, because again, he doesn't get anywhere, he doesn't even move.

I can't show it in screencaps but the lights in Satoshi's eyes are shaking here, something that they consistently do throughout the series when he's feeling a particularly strong emotion. Keep that in mind. It couples well with another trait of his, and that's his hat!

And by that I mean how he hides his eyes with the brim of it when upset, something he does exactly as Serena shows up and calls out to him. Now, he's not upset that Serena is here. He's upset about the pokemon stuff still. He's trying to hide the fact that he's upset from Serena.

Serena starts off with her speech well, trying to appeal to Satoshi to let her in and talk things out. And maybe it's because he wasn't ready for it yet, or because of the way she phrases it (a lot of 'i' and 'me' language which can be helpful but can also come across as though she's making it about her. not her intent i don't think, but a possible interpretation.), it's not her fault for how Satoshi reacts regardless.

But how Satoshi reacts is not good.

Now it's really interesting to note that before this, Serena was standing while Satoshi was sitting, putting her above him in terms of active power, when it comes to how the shot is presented, but when Satoshi stands up, the camera tilts with the movement so that they're on equal level. Neat!

And Serena yells in return, scolding Satoshi for not talking about it. Not the best move, since pushing someone to talk about something that's upsetting them isn't really productive, but she's trying here and she's frustrated.

Satoshi continues to withdraw and self isolate, claiming it is his problem and that he wants to be left be. Now, this is the mindset of a clearly upset person and isolation may not be the best option, but he did make the explicit request to be left alone here.

He's clearly upset as he turns away from Serena's eye and slumps over a little.

And then Serena throws a snowball at him.

Angry as he is, you can see Satoshi's expression change when he sees Serena's reaction.

Serena tells Satoshi that she's not like the Satoshi she knows, who is always full of energy and positive and a leader, and a bunch of other positive traits. The problem here, is that Serena's looking at an idealized version of Satoshi. And while the intent here was probably meant to be something more like "you have so many wonderful traits about you I know you can do this", coupled with the snowballs and the phrasing, it seems as though Serena is scolding Satoshi for being sad.

Or rather, being angry with him for not living up to her idealized version of him, and not wanting him to express any negitave emotions.

Which is sort of a really bad mindset.

The snowballs continue, never once does Satoshi fight back. In fact, he stops arguing entirely after the first one. Serena knocks him off his feet and tells him he's not being himself, before running off. (In the english dub, Serena claims that Satoshi isn't being "the real satoshi" and then demands that the real Satoshi be "given back", so it could be worse)

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up. Something like this just isn't like him. He's just gotta stop being sad!

Now personally, I really disagree with the idea that "being upset" isn't "like a person". That's because based off of my own experiences, I know it can be really damaging to hold the mindset that any negative emotions you feel aren't a part of you and that you shouldn't be upset because you're usually a positive and happy person. Not the case with every person, but I personally really have a problem with shows telling children that they just shouldn't be upset instead of processing their emotions in a meaningful way. (The journeys episode doesn't do an outstanding job of it either, but this is a bit of a tangent anyway. A show that does do this right is "OK KO! Let's be Heroes" which actually deals with this problem in greater depth and does a fantastic job of it.)

But the snowball scene ends here. Now I'll get back to Journeys in a moment, but since Serena has finished her part of the comparison for the most part, I'm going to summarize a bit more of the xy episode.

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up.

The snowstorm kicks in, Serena get back annoyed, then similarly groans and yells, and the whole xy gang + pokemon go running off in search of Satoshi. Pikachu appears the most concerned.

Now Serena tells the others she lost her cool and said something horrible to Satoshi, but explains its because Satoshi is someone she admires. Cool motive, I get it, still kinda bad.

and in the end, it's not Serena's words that get he message across to Satoshi. The solution to this problem was Satoshi finding a way to reaffirm his abilities and instinct.

In the xy episode, he helps some pokemon out of the tree, and when his very cool frog friend shows up, they're able to work together with their bond to save this one from falling off a cliff.

Here's the point. Satoshi learns by doing, by actions. He needs to see first hand that there are ways of getting past his problems, and that it's worth having the courage to keep going. The lesson is about valuing pokemon as equals and partners, and specifically that trying to be better as the trainer alone isn't going to help.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am and I'm not sleeping until this is finished so we gotta keep things moving.

This was no doubt Serena's intent to get a similar point, but she goes about it the wrong way. She tries to convey this with words, as conversation and motivational words have helped her in the past (Elle's words of praise stick with her, Satoshi's words from when they were kids, etc). It's a good idea, but their different ways of learning and growing from a similar situation are incompatible, and that's why things don't work out in Serena's favour. There's also still the problem of "pulling yourself together" not being helpful in this case.

There's also a very similar line in this scene to the one at the end of the journeys episode, as Satoshi says to his frog that they should start over from scratch. It's essentially the same phrase with different wording. It's great. The Storm ends as he realizes this as well! Wonderful in terms of pathetic fallacy.

The gang all reunites, its nice. Satoshi thanks Serena for what she said after apologizing to everyone, which contradicts what he said earlier but I've already established that I dislike this message here so I won't go over it too much. I guess he's right in a literal sense in that in response to her words he went and ran until he tripped off a cliff but the emotional growth here was because of his own actions (and the frogs), not Serena's. Sorry Serena, you'll get em next time.

So. What about Goh?

Well...

(Part Two here on account of image limit!!)

#pokemon #anipoke #pokeani #pokemon analysis #pokemon xy #pokemon xyz #trainer ash #trainer serena #trainer goh #i dont wanna use the amourshipping tag to put negtivity in it that seems mean #analysis #this was written in the 2-3am area but the next part was written 12 hours later so thats a neat fact #long post

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lizzy-frizzle · 4 years

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I’m going to start this by saying, I have bias. Everyone does. I do not intend for this to come off as “the thing you like is bad”, but moreso “the corporation that controls the thing you like is manipulative”.

My background; I am a 26 year old trans mom, I have a history with addiction, particularly gambling, and spend most of my time playing video games. I have gone to college for about 3 years for my psychology degree, and while I do not have my degree, I have been studying psychology for roughly 12 years. This is to say, my views will reflect this background. Just because I present this information like I do, does not inherently mean I’m right, though it also doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Try to view things with a critical mind, and know that most topics have nuance.

Ok, so lootboxes, booster packs, gacha games, all of these are gambling. This is not really an argument. You are putting money into a service of sorts, and receiving a randomized result. Be that a fancy new gun, that same boring legendary you have 5 of, or that final hero you’ve been trying to collect. You don’t know the outcome before you give your money. As defined by the merriam-webster dictionary: “Gambling; the practice of risking money or other stakes in a game or bet”

You are risking your money in not getting an item you want. There are ways this is handled acceptably, and ways this is handled poorly. Gambling is also illegal to people under 21 in a lot of places, but places online aren’t quick to tell you why. I don’t have any sources because every source requires a paywall to get any information, but pulling from my own personal experience and what I learned in college, it’s because children are very impressionable. I say “I like pokemon” and suddenly my 2-year old can’t go anywhere without her pikachu. I remember distinctly playing poker with my mom and her friends when I was 12. When you normalize gambling, what it does is lower the risk aversion of gambling. You are less likely to see a threat in playing that card game, because when you are that young you have no concept of money. You don’t know what a dollar is, so why not throw it away so you can have fun. This is...I hesitate to call it fine, but it’s mostly harmless. The issue is with children and their lack of knowledge of money. When I grew up and got a job, it’s a lot harder to tell my brain, “hey, don’t spend that money, you won’t get it back and you won’t get what you want.” Because my brain just acknowledges the potential for what I want. I want to buy the booster pack so I can have the potential to get that masterpiece misty rainforest. I want to buy that diamond pack so I have the chance to get the cute hero. I want to buy that lootbox so I can get the battle rifle that does a cool effect. These are harmless concepts, but very dangerous.

Make no mistake, companies know how psychology works, and will use it to their advantage. MatPat from game theory states that companies have even go so far as to have systems in place that change the odds as you’re losing, and monitor your skill level to put you up against harder opponents, to see the better weapons and go, “Oh I want that!” and entice you to buy more lootboxes. As it turns out I found an article covering what he was talking about, Activision had actually acquired a patent to arrange matchmaking to do just that [x], and the article says it’s not in place, but my trust in companies is not high enough to actually believe them.(honestly, matpat made a 2-part video series about lootboxes, and I’d recommend watching them)

So, companies are trying to manipulate you to buy more gambling products. There’s proof of it. It’s also more blatantly obvious in games like Magic the Gathering, where they release fancier versions of cards at rarer probabilities. To better explain it, from a collector’s standpoint, you want the fancy card cause it has value, it has value because it’s rare, rarer than the other versions, so if you’re on the lower end of the income ladder you buy a pack, or two. After all, you could get lucky and get it. On the higher end of the income ladder, you buy the card outright and hoard it. Maybe sell it off later if you notice the price goes down. From a player perspective, you see a card is being used by tournament players, you want to win more games, so you want those cards, which encourages you to buy products and try to get those cards. That’s predatory behavior. It’s predatory from the company’s perspective because that poor person might not be able to afford the card outright, but $5-$10 isn’t much, plus they always entice you with that Chance. They also further this desire for the cards by making it limited runs, such as the secret lair packs, if there’s a low amount purchased and it’s made to order, or worse, if they limit the order capabilities themselves, that drives up the value, and provides further incentive to buy the cards and packs. This not only creates an impossible barrier between the poor and the rich, but also heavily encourages people buy their gambling pack than people would have in other conditions.

For the record, I love magic the gathering, I’m not saying the game itself is bad, this is just a VERY predatory marketing tactic.

Let’s switch gears. Gacha games. I play AFKArena, because like I said, I have a gambling addiction and cannot stop myself. In AFKArena, you collect heroes, and battle with them in various ways. If you collect more of similar heroes you can rank them up. If I’m to believe what I’ve heard, it sounds like this is pretty common for gacha games. So what makes it bad. In AFKArena you use diamonds to summon heroes, now, you can acquire diamonds by beating specific story chapters, logging in every day, random limited time events, or paying for them with real money. AFKArena hero drops don’t seem that bad compared to the free diamond amount they dish out, which has resulted in me not spending all that much money on it, all things considered ($20 over 2 years). I believe that for a mobile game like this, that’s fair. I get way more enjoyment out of the game than I do most $60 games, so it balances out. However, this isn’t the case for every gacha game, and my trust in companies, as previously stated, is very low. The issue lies in them making the rates for good heroes so low that you HAVE to spend money on the game to really get over a roadblock of sorts. I do think that there is this issue in my game and I just didn’t notice it, someone with a lower tolerance or patience might absolutely have the incentive to drop hundreds of dollars on the game over a month. There are people of all different flavours, and it’s important to keep that in mind when discussing these topics, just because a marketing technique doesn’t work on you, does not mean it doesn’t work on anyone. After all, they have those $100 packs for a reason, you might not be that reason but someone is. That’s predatory.

I feel like I’ve gotten off track, let’s get back on the rails. Where was...gambling...predatory…ah, kids. So my biggest issue, is that Magic the Gathering is marketed towards 13 year olds. Not directly, but the packs say 13+. AFKArena and any mobile game for that matter, can be downloaded by anyone with a phone for free, with minimal mention that there’s microtransactions. AAA title games like Destiny 2, Overwatch, Fortnite, etc. are probably the worst offenders. A kid spent $16,000 of his parents money on fortnite in-game purchases, and that’s not the only time this has happened [x] [x] . More often than not, what happens is, the kid wants to play a video game, like halo on xbox, or destiny, or something, they ask their mom for their credit card, and the system saves it. I mentioned before that kids do not have a concept of money or its value, so giving kids unlimited access to the credit card is going to result in this kind of thing happening. I’m not blaming the parents for not being hypervigilant, sometimes you are really busy, or disabled, or whatever the reason, and you don’t notice the system just saved your card. I’m not blaming the kids cause their brains are literally underdeveloped. I blame the corporations, because they make the process as easy as possible to prey on kids and people with gambling addictions. (as a personal anecdote, I found that if I want a magic card in MtG:O, I’m way less likely to try and buy it if I have to get up and get my card, I’d recommend not saving your card if you suffer from gambling/addiction problems)

So after all of this evidence, how can anyone still view these things as anything but predatory? The answer is simple. You’re told they aren’t. Businesses spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on really good marketing, and public relations. I tried to google why gambling is illegal for people under 21, and got nothing, I got a couple forums asking the question, and a couple religious sites saying it’ll make them degenerates. I try looking up sources to prove the psychology behind these concepts, but they are locked behind paywall after paywall after paywall. Businesses and capitalism has made it so incredibly hard to discover the truth and get information you need, and it’s on purpose. They want you to trust that that booster pack is a good idea. They want you to spend money on lootboxes (look at all the youtubers that shill out for raid shadow legends, or other gambling games to their super young fanbase [x]). They want you to lower your guard and go, “well, it’s a video game, how can it be predatory?” “it’s a card game with cute creatures on it, surely it’s not that bad”

But it is. So why did I make this post? I dunno, my brain really latched onto the topic, I see so many people enjoying gacha games, but I’m worried that it’s going to ruin lives...I just want everyone to be informed and critical of what is going on.

#gambling addiction tw #addiction tw #this is probably a bad idea to post knowing how this site operates #but it matters to me

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thechangeling · 3 years

Note

Ok im gonna make a disclaimer

I am way too attached to this character

He was my first latino character and when i first read him i saw no flaws because he was me and i didnt see that latino characters deserved better than be a walking stereotype of our cultures

With the only thing to show for it a few badly phrased spanish words

When i did, it hurt

Hurt to see how many harmful stereotypes he had and how bad rep he actually was if you analized enough

But I dont think anything hurt more than seeing how the fandom treated him.

So leo canonically has adhd, a lot of characters do have adhd but

Out of all of them

Hes one of the worse at masking

Hes hyperactive and bad at socializing even if he fakes it and makes up for feeling fundamentally flawed with jokes and manes up for not being able to fit in anywhere by degrading his value

I think he does stim in page but id need to reread i havent in so long

HE DOES THAT THING WHERE YOU CONVINSE YOURSELVE YOU DONT NEED ANYONE BECAUSE YOU WORK BETTER ALONE

WHILE HE HAS FRIENDS

But he just feels like they all have better things than him

There was this short story where there was a festival in camp and his friends invited him but he said he had work and that it was totally cool, but he just didnt wanna go. And had a few phrases that even after month he just didnt feel like he fit in and prefered to work on things he knew

And is always getting people mad at him cause hes blunt and always ends up saying the wrong things

But he is endlessly loyal

And he is a genius fae

Like an actual genius

He knew how to do college level math at 7 years old

He build an entire ship ON HIS OWN

Hes is the smartest heroes of olympus characters only rival (if that) to the daughet IF THE GODESS OF WISDOM

And yes he makes some rash decision making and some mistakes BECAUSE YOU KNOW

HE IS ADHD

But when you come to the fandom

They treat him like an idiot

They make jokes that he cant do things and reduce him to only being distracted and messing things up

Burning things with his fire powers

And being a comedic reliefe for the rest of the crew

They treat him like an absolute idiot

And it hurts because he is a genius and he is brilliant HE ONLY HAS ADHD

If you go through the leo tag

All you'll see are jokes about him being an idiot

Flirting with everything that moves

And reducing him only to his jokes

I hate it

HE IS CANONICALLY SMART HES JUST ND

I saw a meme once that was like the hands touching meme, you know like putting your hand in a pile up? Did I explain that right? With three hands pabeled Jesper Fahey, Leo Valdez, and Alex Claremont-Diaz and then the pile up (I'm explaining this horribly) was labeled "non white characters with adhd" and at the bottom there was the description "getting called stupid by the fandom when they're actually really smart in canon." And then the extra layer to that is two of those characters are bisexual and they are all POC and they get the flirts with everything that moves stereotype.

It's not a good look fandom culture!

This is why I don't like those "jokes" about the characters because they usually reflect bias.

Anyways we're off topic again yayyy. He sounds like key awesome honestly. I love the fire thing. Side note, why is that an nd thing? Fire? Like it just is and idk why.

Anyways fandoms stop calling ADHD characters stupid 2021!!

#asks #mutuals!#leo valdez #adhd tag

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elspethc22 · 3 years

Text

Why does it have to be Stiles OR Scott?

So another thought post brought on by reading comments on old fanfics...

This one was actually rather well done as it was a meta commentary on other fanfics and the fandom and why people feel the need to demonise Scott in order to love Stiles or bring Stiles and Derek together (now please don't hate me but I don't see the whole Sterek thing personally just because I think there was too much genuine distrust/ dislike between them for it to go past maybe friendship... eventually).

This one was 'what would Scott's reaction be if Stiles said he was joining Derek's pack at the end of S2?' and was basically Scott being like 'ok, I think it's the wrong choice but you'll figure that out and stop hating on me when Derek's done way worse shit'. And I absolutely agree!!

I have my moments, absolutely, of thinking 'come on Scott be a better friend' especially when he seems to prioritise Allison over his best friend. But that's not cause I think Scott's a bad character, and is absolutely cause Stiles is my favourite so once again that's my bias. But these posts and comments make me think about my own bias and think about why I react this way. I don't really think Scott is a bad friend, I think he's a teenager who gets his first girlfriend and like pretty much all teenagers that can be all consuming, even though he doesn't ever actually just leave Stiles behind. He just has more things to focus on all of a sudden. I think I just hate seeing Stiles hurt because he is only human in that he's not strong or fast and is so physically incapable in a fight and does not for the life of him know how or when to shut his mouth! So when I see Scott getting hurt I hate it but I also know his chances are much better.

I think it's also cause I relate to Stiles more as a person, with my own anxiety and inferiority and never feeling like I fit in as a teenager and being so physically and socially awkward and probably at times too 'possessive' of the people I have in my life that I'm scared of losing to change. I think though that Scott has some of these issues himself, it's just the way it presents is different so maybe I didn't pay as much attention as I did with Stiles.

I both like and hate having my biases show - I like being able to see where I've had an unconscious bias and then trying to better myself and learn and, hopefully, be a better person. I hate it cause I hate knowing that these biases could have made me do something to hurt someone or upset them or offend them. But then if I feel that way, imagine how they could feel?

Anyway, this is all to say that it's fascinating to see how some fans view the show and characters, but also scares me a little at how vicious some of them can get if you don't hold their point of view. I love most of the characters on this show, some more than others, and I like that they're all flawed cause how boring would it be if they were perfect? Some people seem to be too willing to overlook some characters' actions like they never happened - I think I've done that myself with Stiles, at least in my head, and I don't like it. Stiles 100% makes mistakes - I think, for me, one of his greatest character flaws is his need to protect his dad at the cost of others. I don't think he should hold Scott responsible for the Sheriff getting bumped by a car in S1 and he shouldn't take delight in hurting Scott in the next episode even though he only comes up with the idea to hurt Scott once he knows anger is a trigger and it can help them learn how Scott can control it. And even now I'm trying to justify Stiles' behaviour. All I can say there is we do see most if not all the male characters take their anger out physically in some way, not always on a person but in some way. And Stiles can be very cutting with his words, but I think Scott can hold his own and he lashes out verbally at Stiles like Stiles does to him. And I'm doing it again! But most of Scott's actions I could probably defend as well.

Going back to Stiles flaw though - rewatching Night School last night and Stiles' continued unwillingness to call in his dad and the cops to help is not ok - he's not only willing to sacrifice his own life but the lives of others? It reminded me of an old Charmed episode where someone asks the sisters if a building is burning do you save 1 sibling or 3 strangers and they all say 1 sibling at the start then 3 strangers at the end. I think this is completely natural for him to be scared for his dad especially after losing his mum but still not the greatest, especially when the others think it's just Derek with a weapon.

anyway... for anyone STILL reading at this point, thank you. and I'll wrap up now.

At the end of the day, no matter what, I believe this show was about these two. In whatever way, they are the heart of the show and their relationship is pure - and it's telling that when everything falls apart in S5 the first person Scott goes to to try and fix things is Stiles, cause even when they have other priorities and girls, it comes down to the two of them.

#sciles friendship goals #sciles #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #teen wolf otp #teen wolf #scott and stiles #scott and stiles friendship goals #teen wolf fandom #I will always love Scott and Stiles #I love them both #Protect Scott and Stiles at all costs #How do people hate Scott?#How do people hate Stiles?

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darrowsrising · 3 years

Note

For "Send Me a Character" I gotta ask for Darrow and Virginia!

My faves!🤗

Darrow of Lykos:

First impression: Darrow: 'I would have lived in peace, but my enemies brought me war.' Me: I love you so much, I declare you my favourite.

Honest to Reaper, I loved him from the first sentence. I have felt lust at first sight, but love at first sentence (not romantic love, just...idk, you like a character so much you just...love them, if that makes sense)? Idk, it's one of those experiences that make life worth living.

Impression now: I would die for Darrow of Lykos, I would kill for Darrow of Lykos and most importantly, I would live (am currently living?) for Darrow of Lykos. Ok, I may exaggerate, but honestly, Darrow really inspires me and if anything, he made me realize that life is worth living...even when it sucks. And I am not saying that lightly, I just can't evoke properly what Darrow means to me. I read books hyped to 7 dimensions, but none of them actually inspired me like this. And I truly needed it, especially at the time I read Red Rising.

That being said, I can put my bias aside for analysis, but will I stop reminding you that I love him? Nope! Think of me as a brighter version of Sevro, I thrive on your annoyance.

Favourite moment: Every moment, let's not do this, it's a losing game.

Idea for a story: I find it the hardest to write fanfiction from his perspective in first person, although his thought process is a lot like mine. But I would love to dig into a quiet, peaceful day with his family. Or maybe the his and Virginia's first date. If Pierce ever adresses that date again, I will literally hang over every word.

Unpopular opinion: People who say Darrow is overrated are the same who're saying Beyoncé is overrated.

Ok, now a more serious one, this narrative that Darrow is bad...worse take ever! Different reading experiences and interpretations and any other things don't work in this case at all. Idk, the fact that people are unwilling to accept that the majority, and yes, even Sevro, can be very wrong, is kinda scary to me, even though it's fiction.

Favourite relationship: My personal favourites are his relationships with Virginia and Sevro. But every Darrow relationship is great. LET DARROW BE DAD, BLOODYDAMMIT! Even that with his soldiers. You know what my God did even after a heart attack? Went to speak with his soldiers, acrually talk with them, not adress the masses. His bodyguards rotate every hour and they can't keep up with him. I am not saying everyone should love Darrow, but...how can one not?

Favourite headcanon: HE SLEEPS SHIRTLESS. At the very least. Idk, if anyone deserves to wake up to the best slive of man cake of a husband shirtless every morning, it's Virginia au Augustus.

Virginia au Augustus:

First impression: Hot damn, girl, you must be really special if Darrow can't even muster a retort, let alone stop staring at you in the sunset.

I adored their little meet cutes, but I honestly loved her the most at the Institute, maybe because she was the most consistant and I loved to see and piece together who she really is, while knowing certain things about her for facts. I loved her because she wasn't like the other Golds, there was something about her that wanted more but didn't know how to implement it, although she tried. I think that Mustang was the first introduction of a Gold that actually seemed to care, you know. It mattered to me when she actually got that Red analogy.

Impressions now: I love her so much, she my favourite female character, she's just everything I wish I could be, but I also relate to her on a certain level (I am no genius, I wish lol). I love how Pierce writes his main cast, because it never gets boring. They don't just stop at a certain point, they evolve and they feel so real because of that. Virginia is no exception - I have actually taken to calling her Virginia, not Mustang, because I think it now suits her more.

I genuinely love Virginia for everything Kavax said to her in Dark Age. I think of her exactly the same things and...I can't help but love her for that.

Favourite moment: I love all of her moments, but I must say that the Iron Circle and Imperium scenes made my brain tingle the most.

Idea for a story: WE. NEED. HER. POV. HER EVERY OPINION! GIVE US VIRGINIA'S POV SERIES, PIERCE!

Unpopular opinion: I think she is very underestimated. Just because she is peaceful and/or tries to walk the stiletto so that her successors don't destroy the Republic because she slipped once with a certain issue and they exploited it to hell, doesn't make her harmless. To be peaceful is to be capable of great harm and choose not to inflict it. Otherwise you're just harmless.

Favourite relationship: I obviously love her romance with Darrow, but her bromance with Sevro is the very best. I also like how the twins bond was explored, but also how it's dealt with now. Her relationship with Pax? 🥺🥺🥺 I also can't wait for more friendship with Victra, because I think their opposite personalities are the most intriguing thing. Pierce does like that in his characters, there are plenty of characters built like that.

Favourite headcanon: When she was pregnant and missed Darrow terribly, she allowed herself to be miserable only when she was alone, so she tried to keep busy and often forgot to eat, which wasn't really a problem, because she couldn't keep down much. On one particular hard day - Darrow's (fake) execution - she did not come out of her room at all. She woke up, dizzy and sick and it smelled of garlic and okra blossoms and tomatoes. A highRed help was making pitViper egg soup for the mantainance staff. She talked to her over a bowl of soup and it was a bit awkward at first, but she was a midWife, so it ended up being a heartfelt and helpful discussion. They made a deal - the mantainence staff gets to eat whatever they want, as long as Virginia gets served this soup at every dinner. Her baby seemed to like it a lot.

Thank you for the ask! Howl on!🐺💖

#darrow of lykos #darrow au andromedus #reaper #virginia au augustus #mustang

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aperrywilliams · 4 years

Text

The Milestone (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

(Not my gif!)

Masterlist - Requests

———————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Reader is in her last weeks of pregnancy and accepts to help Rossi and Prentiss in a field consulting. What could go wrong?

Word Count: 4914.

Warnings: Curses. A lot of curses. Anxious Spencer. Fluff.

A/N1: I’m sorry, I have a strong bias for Prentiss and Rossi.

A/N2: I had to upload it again because Tumblr is crazy. I'm going tag my favorite people around here: @emilouu @dreatine @andiebeaword

——————–

There are many awkward things about pregnancy that people tend to omit just to make it seem like everything is wonderful and beautiful. And that's fine, having a life lodged in your womb for almost nine months fills you with emotions. Is incredible. The miracle of life!. But we must be honest, how beautiful is it that you cannot almost move within a radius of 4 square meters without feeling that your back is killing you? How beautiful is it that you cannot sleep because there is no bearable position to be in bed?

Worse still is not being able to sleep and seeing that your husband can do it peacefully next to you. The same human being who put you in this situation. At those times it makes me want to smack him and push him to the floor. But those desires quickly go away when I see that beautiful face, that messy hair full of curlers, those bare arms resting over his head on the pillow, those hands and those long fingers...

There are nights where I have simply watched Spencer sleep until exhaustion overcomes me. Apparently tonight is no exception. Despite my envy, the love I feel for this man makes me "almost" forget the discomfort of a 36-week pregnancy. You're lucky Dr. Reid that I don’t want to kill you right now.

The next morning I woke up to a cramp that made me scream in pain. Instantly I could see pair of curious eyes on me.

"Is something wrong (Y/N)...? Does something hurt?"

"Fuck!..."

"Is the baby...? (Y/N)… talk to me…”

"Fuck Spencer... no... it's a damn cramp!..."

"Show me where..."

As best I could, I aimed at one side of my right leg. Spencer rushed to massage the area so I could relax my muscles. I was still squeezing my eyes shut in pain, but it started to ease. Feeling relief, I let out a heavy sigh.

"Better…?"

"Yes. Thank you…". I sat on the bed with my back resting on the backrest. "I’m sorry Spence, I woke you up and I also yelled at you". I felt bad about both.

"Do not apologize. You don’t have to do it".

"Am I a bad mother if I say I want this baby to come out as soon as possible?". I asked almost crying. Spencer looked at me confused. I went from cursing and yelling at him to being a pudding of emotions and crying.

"Of course not. Your body is already preparing to let the baby out. A few weeks to go, but I can understand the discomfort is increasing. That doesn't make you a bad mother (Y/N)”. To reinforce his point, he sat by my side on the bed and hugged me tight, kissing my forehead. “Take it easy my love. You’ll be a great mom. I’m absolutely sure about that”.

“I don’t know how you do that… but I love you”. Spencer laugh at my words. He knows very well what to say to sooth me.

Spencer got a shower while I made breakfast. I could had stayed in bed but I instead I felt the need to move a little. Doctor had suggested I need some daily activity and a routine, which is a good idea to follow in these last few weeks before birth. So I had things planned for the day while Spencer was at work. I was really missing the BAU, I have to confess it. I delayed my prenatal start as long as I could specifically because I knew I would miss working. But by now I had new priorities.

My schedule considered a walk around the block, shopping for some groceries, reading, cooking, some TV, more reading, and some writing. I discovered the taste for writing in the progress of my pregnancy. I realized that I liked to keep a diary of the things that were happening every day. Those things soon turned into little stories. It was one of the things I kept for myself. Not even Spencer knew much about it.

When I got back from my walk and groceries’ shopping, my cell phone started ringing. It was Prentiss. That set off my internal alarms. Had something happened to Spencer?

"Emily?..."

“Hey! (Y / N), how are you? How is the baby?” she asked cheerfully.

Okay, it seems that it’s not a bad thing... or is it?.

"Fine. I’m fine. Did something happen? Is Spencer okay?"

Emily, just tell me everything is fine...

"Yes. It’s ok. Everything is alright. Spencer is with the rest of the team in the field near DC working on a case. The truth is I was calling to ask you for a favor…”

"Yes, tell me. How can I help you".

"With Rossi we have to interview the girlfriend of an unsub and we are sure she knows his location. She is pregnant and according to our profile, her baby is the only thing that could make her confess where he is hiding right now. And well, you know that neither Rossi nor I are very subtle, so we wanted to know if you can help us interview her. It would also be doubly useful given that your pregnancy is more than evident and that would help her to gain confidence…”. It was a strange requirement. But surely they had discussed it with David and it was reasonable after all.

"Ok... do I have to go to the BAU?". Strange as it was, the idea of leaving the apartment and feeling useful seemed wonderful to me, even if it was for something like that.

"No, we have to go to her house. But if you say yes, with Rossi we will pick you up in 15 minutes”.

I didn’t think twice. Despite my advanced pregnancy, the doctor's recommendation was that I maintain as active a life as possible. He wasn't going to walk much either, I would surely be in the car or in a house most of the time.

It was good to see Emily and David again. The last time I saw them was for the babyshower a few weeks ago. I settled in the back seat and we spent a lot of time talking. The place seemed to be more distant than I originally thought. In the last part of the trip I felt some pain, the baby started to move a little. I had lost the habit of being in a car for so long, despite the comfort of a federal SUV. Prentiss noticed my face contorted a little.

"Are you okay (Y/N)?" she asked with concern.

"Yes, yes... it's just I hadn't been in a car ride in days and with such a bulging belly is difficult to find a comfortable position. That's all".

"Okay. We are not that far. Unfortunately this place is on the borders of the city, but it shouldn't take us long.” Emily assured me.

"Yes, this should be fast," said Rossi.

Indeed, the place was almost a rural campsite. I hadn't realized it. When we got there we went to knock on the door and a young woman of no more than 25 years old greeted us with an uninterested and unhappy face. Only by showing her our badges did she let us in.

I managed to conduct the interview as we had agreed with Emily and David, although I didn’t feel comfortable. The atmosphere was tense and I was still in pain. I changed my position on the couch several times but the discomfort didn’t diminish, on the contrary. I tried to focus on my task and fortunately it worked, the woman ended up confessing the location of her fugitive boyfriend.

We got back in the SUV to resume our trip back home. The truth is I was relieved to be able to return. Although I missed working in the field, the pain had returned and I even began to feel contractions during the interview. At first I thought it might be some tension from the case.

We didn't drive much until we felt the SUV hit something under the dirt road. A thunderous noise was heard as Rossi cursed whatever had crossed the path. Without further warning the vehicle stopped.

"What is it?" Prentiss asked Rossi.

“Something is stuck in the car. I have to check, the pedals are locked and I can't keep driving like this” he replied, getting out of the vehicle and starting to check it everywhere. Prentiss was huffing with disgust and I began to feel a little distressed. The air began to fail me and the pains began to be more intense. A loud grumble escaped my mouth alerting Emily immediately.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong?..." Emily turned to look at me.

"I'm not feeling well... I'm... feeling contractions..." I answered with heavy breathing.

"What?!... now? Really?..." she asked me again with concern.

"I was uncomfortable on the trip to here... but I didn't start to feel pain until we were at the interview..."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!... but you still have weeks to go before you have a full-term pregnancy..."

“Arrrggg… shit!… I know. I know... the baby shouldn't come out yet. I'm only 36 weeks. I hope it’ll pass soon…”. I started to move to find some position that would ease the pain, but it got worse and worse.

"Spencer is going to kill me...". It must have been a thought from Emily that she didn't even realize had come out of her mouth. At that moment Rossi returns to the vehicle.

“Ladies, I have bad news for you. This car will not go to move anymore..."

"Why?". Emily's face was becoming more and more disfigured.

"There is a leak in the brake fluid, we cannot move this thing in these conditions...". Rossi was explaining the situation but was interrupted by a scream from me and Prentiss' look of horror.

"(Y/N)? That… thing… running down your legs is...?" Emily didn’t dare to finish the question.

"My water just broke..." I said crying in pain and despair.

"What is that? ..." asked Rossi.

"That means (Y/N) is going into labor right now..." Prentiss said as she took her cell phone. "We need transportation to take her to the hospital." She was at it when she realized her phone had no signal. "This is a fucking joke!... David, do you have signal?" Rossi took his cell phone.

"No... this is as dead as the car." Emily immediately took my purse and pulled out my cell phone. Same result. We were in the middle of nowhere with no signal reception.

While I felt the spasms of the contractions and they were accelerating more and more. If at first I was hoping it was just a false alarm, after the water broke and feeling the contractions were becoming more and more frequent, I realized that it was very likely that I would give birth in the middle of a dirt road in a federal vehicle.

"Okay. We have to calm down and think about what we can do” said Prentiss trying to put together a plan as she got out of the passenger seat and climbed into the back seat where I was. But seconds passed and nothing came out of her mouth.

“Come on Emily, focus. What we have to do?" Rossi rushed her.

"Fuck David, what makes you suppose I really know what to do?" Emily confessed. Rossi looked at her in disbelief.

"I don’t know. You are the Unit Chief, you must know how to bring a baby into the world… among other things, right?" he blurt out.

“Spencer is the one who had done that before. Not me!...”. Emily defended herself. While I contorted more and more in pain.

"Why isn't Tara here?..." I murmured almost like a prayer. Prentiss turned her attention back to me.

"Calm down (Y/N), everything will be fine, I promise...". It was the only thing she could think to say... and she had no fucking plan! This wasn’t going to work...

"I don't know how Prentiss knows that, but yeah... yes, everything will be fine (Y/N)," Rossi complemented.

My desperation had reached the limit. I was stuck with two useless and about to give birth. My husband had no idea and I was miles from a hospital.

“Stop talking and do something!!!! I'm about to give birth in an SUV!...". I yelled at them.

"Okay... okay... yes, you're right (Y/N)... let's see. We need transportation. David, take care of finding a car or whatever. You have to find signal reception or a phone to call Penelope. I'm going to stay here with (Y/N),” Prentiss ordered.

“Okay boss, but I'm warning you from now on that you're forcing the oldest member of the team to run. I don't know if it's very efficient decision…” Rossi protested.

"Would you rather stay with the pregnant woman and bring a baby into the world?" Emily offered him.

"Got it!. Communication and transportation. Understood!”. In two seconds Rossi had disappeared.

“(Y/N)… let's to focus on your contractions. Do you have an approximate time of frequency?...". Prentiss asked me.

"More and more frequent ... I don't know exactly the time..."

"Okay, let's measure that." Prentiss took her cell phone and opened the stopwatch app. "Let me know when a contraction starts."

“Arggggggggg… fuck fuck fuck…” was the only thing that came out of my mouth when a contraction just started.

“I guess that is a contraction… okay. Come on (Y/N), you're doing fine, try to breathe between contractions, that should help the pain a bit…”. As Prentiss took the time, she started seeing in the SUV, I suppose she was looking for implements or some kind of first aid kit.

“Emily… I'm scared. I need Spencer…”. I started to sob after the contraction passed.

“I know my little one. But you have to be strong. You’ll bring a little girl into this world and I’ll do everything in my power to keep you both safe. But you have to help me (Y/N). Let me look for something in this car that can help us…”. Prentiss said still scanning the vehicle with her eyes without letting go of my hand.

"Don't leave me Emily... please..." I begged her when I saw she was letting go of my hand.

“Don’t worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'll just be checking the trunk. I swear I'll be here in two seconds…”. With that said she got out of the back seat and opened the trunk. She took advantage of folding down the backs of the rear seats and with some blankets Emily made improvised pillows that she placed behind my back. Now I had more room to move my legs. I was trying to adjust when another contraction started.

"Emilyyyyy... another one... fuck... I'm going to die here... arrrgggggg.". You didn’t have to be an expert in pregnancy to realize the distance between each contraction was shortening and that I would give birth at any time. My body was sweating. My arms and legs were shaking. I wasn't even pushing yet and I was exhausted.

Prentiss came back to my side. She had found clean towels in a travel bag and a first aid kit containing alcohol and other things. I looked at her desperately.

“It's not a birth kit, but at least it’ll help us for now. I promise I’ll ask the bureau to implement a birth kit in all SUVs." I couldn't help crying between contractions. Emily took my hand again and didn't let go of it even though I could feel her bones creaking every time I squeezed it from a contraction.

"We will make it (Y/N), I promise we will make it". Emily reassured me.

***

The consulting case in Frederick, Maryland had taken up much of the morning. Although it was only an assistance for the local police, they asked us for more help with the case. JJ, who was leading the team on this mission, agreed we would stay a few more hours to help. Almost mid-afternoon we were able to finish delivering the profile and even tracked down the location of the unsubs with the help of García. Since we were only guests in a local case, it was not our job to make the arrests. The Frederick Police thanked us for our assistance and we were free to return to Virginia.

When we finished packing our belongings in the SUVs, we were waiting for JJ to say goodbye and leave the police station to start our return. During that time, I took my cell phone to call (Y/N) and let her know that I would possibly be home earlier. The strange thing is that her cell phone immediately threw me to voicemail. I suspected perhaps it had been without charge. It was weird anyway, because (Y/N) is a much more dependent on her phone than I’m, so she wouldn't neglect to have it without charge. I tried again and again voicemail. Frederick had a good reception signal, it couldn't be a problem with my phone.

While I was thinking about hypotheses and beginning to worry about why (Y/N) was not answering, JJ ran out of the police station towards us with her own cell phone in hand and on speaker. When she stopped in front of me she looked at me with worried eyes.

"Garcia, I'm here with Spence," JJ said.

"Oh Boy Wonder. Ahm. Okay…”. Garcia stuttered into the phone.

"What's wrong? Garcia? ...". I tried to hurry her to speak.

"It’s (Y/N)...". I felt like I was freezing from one moment to the next. Had something happened to my 36 weeks pregnant wife?

"What's wrong with (Y/N)?... Garcia, tell me once, please!"

"Reid, (Y/N) is giving birth right now!". Garcia blurt out suddenly.

"What?!... Which hospital? The George Washington?". I was about to get in the SUV and speed toward DC.

"That's the problem. She is not in the hospital at the moment. She's on a rural road outside of DC with Prentiss and Rossi. They had a failure in the car and Rossi had to find a ranch with a telephone from where he called me”. Penelope spat.

"But what the hell is (Y/N) doing on a rural road? She is supposed to be in our place, in the city... Garcia, what is going on?..."

“Reid, honey, I don't know the details of that. But I promise you we're doing our best to bring her to DC, to the hospital. I managed to get a chopper out of here and it's on its way to where they are while we’re speaking..."

“Penelope, make sure they take her to George Washington. We are going there” commanded JJ as she gestured for us to get into the SUVs.

"Okay. I'll call you as soon as I have communication with them, ”García concluded before hang up.

"Spence, let’s go" JJ yelled at me trying to get me out of my stupor.

Luke was driving in the car, JJ in the passenger seat and I in the back seat. Luke drove as fast as prudence allowed him, but it wasn't enough for me.

"Luke, speed up!" I yelled.

"Hey Reid, I'm going as fast as I can..." Alvez defended himself.

"Fuck ..." I mumbled.

“Spence, try to calm down. We are on our way. Penelope is helping to get (Y/N) to a hospital,” said JJ trying to use her motherly tone, but I was on the verge of nervous breakdown.

"Don't tell me to calm down JJ!. (Y/N) is giving birth in the middle of nowhere and I’m in a car 2 hours away! She shouldn't even be there in first place!" I complained.

"And with Prentiss and Rossi..." Luke added.

"Shut up Luke, you're not helping..." JJ replied.

Almost 15 minutes passed when JJ's cell phone began to ring. It was Penelope. JJ answered and put it on speaker.

"Go ahead García, you´re on speaker" said JJ.

"Perfect. The chopper arrived and the paramedics are with (Y/N) now. They had a satellite phone, I'm going to connect you with them right now… ”. Garcia transferred the call in that moment.

"Hello?" JJ asked.

"JJ?" Prentiss said on the other end of the line.

"Yes. Spencer and Luke are with me right now, we are driving to the hospital from Frederick…”

“Emily, how is (Y/N) ?, please… tell me, are you in the chopper now?”. I was quick to ask.

"Reid. Paramedics checked (Y/N) and she can't fly until she gives birth, it's not safe. So now we are going to have the baby born first and from there we immediately send her to the hospital" said Prentiss.

"What?!, (Y/N) can't have the baby there… she needs to be in a hospital!" I yelled into the phone.

“It will have to be here, Spencer, labor has already started and your daughter will be born at any moment. I’m sorry…"

"This is a nightmare... can she hear me?" I asked.

“Wait a minute. I'm going to put the phone more close and on speaker. Okay. Done,” said Prentiss.

"(Y/N)?, love?, can you hear me?"

"Spencer…? Is it really you?"

“Yes… it’s me. I'm sorry my love. I can't be there with you right now... "

"I know. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't be here either,” she said while I felt she was finding it difficult to breathe and complained of pain.

"It's okay. Everything will be fine”. At least it was what I expected. If I was horrified I couldn't even imagine how (Y/N) felt in that minute.

"It hurts a lot... I don't know if I can do it ..."

"You can do it love... I know you can ...". In that minute I heard her scream, a contraction for sure.

"I HATE you Spencer!". (Y/N) yelled at me on the phone.

"Love, please, breathe..." I told her to try to get her to focus on breathing.

"Don't tell me what to do! You're not even here! Fuck!". She kept yelling at me on the phone.

"I know my love. I would like to be with you now...". I felt my eyes fill with tears of powerlessness, of not being able to be there with her.

"Spencer... I need you now..." she started to sob.

"Wasn't she hating him just right now?" Rossi interrupted, possibly speaking to Emily.

"David, shut up" Prentiss replied.

"Why doesn't she come out yet?". She grumbled crying

"You have to push (Y/N)...". Emily said to her.

"I can’t do it..."

"Love, I know you can, you’re a strong woman, the strongest woman that I know, I love you, you know that... come on, push, please!..." I tried to encourage her to push.

"Come on (Y/N)! Now it’s the time... one, two, three... push!" Prentiss shouted.

"AHHHHGGGGG I'M GOING TO KILL YOU SPENCER REID…" she yelled.

"Come on (Y/N), you're doing great!. Breathe," said Emily.

"Love, you can do it!" I tried to persuade her to continue.

"I can't... I can't do it..." (Y/N) whined crying. My heart broke listening her words. The pain must been awful.

"Keep going (Y/N), once again. Remember when Spencer forgot your birthday two years ago?". Prentiss asked her.

"Emily... I don't think that's a good idea...". I said over the phone.

"That same anger I need you to get out now for push... come on, one, two, three... push!"

"AHHHHHHGGGGG HOW COULD YOU FORGET IT! FUCKING REID..."

"That's right! Good!... we are close now. Push once more time and the baby will be born... now think about the times Spencer has promised take you to Europe and he canceled it..."

"Emily, please...". I said again over the phone.

"Let's go again... one, two, three... push!"

"AHHHHHGGGGGG HOLY SHIT! I WILL NEVER GO TO EUROPE AND IT'S YOUR FAUUULTTT..."

After that squeal I managed to hear a baby cry. (Y/N)'s screaming stopped. I heard people moved around but nobody said anything.

"Hello?, (Y/N)?, Emily?...". JJ and Luke looked at my confused face and for a second they were as expectant as I was.

"Reid. Congratulations. Your daughter was just born and she's gorgeous,” said Prentiss over the phone. I let out a big sigh of relief. I could hear Emily trying to contain her enthusiasm.

"Thanks God!... how is (Y/N)?" I hastened to ask.

“She is exhausted, but I think she’ll fine. Now both are being taken to the hospital in the chopper. We are now also on our way there".

The remaining hour of travel to the hospital was endless for me. I just wanted to see (Y/N) and my daughter. I only wished they had arrived safely at the hospital and everything was fine. I was silent all the trip. Neither Luke nor JJ wanted to disturb my thoughts, knowing that no matter what they said it wasn't going to relieve my anxiety.

When I got to the hospital, I ran out of the car and went up to the maternity area. In the hall I saw Prentiss and Rossi who when they saw me they smiled at me. That was a good sign, right? I ran to where they were. Emily hastened to speak.

"Everything is fine. They quickly got here and were checked. They did all the necessary tests and the health of both are perfect”. With pure happiness I hugged Prentiss and began to cry. I was releasing all the stress and worry that I held back during the car trip.

“Thank you, thank you for being with her. Thanks for helping her when I couldn't do it,” I murmured with my head buried on Emily's shoulder.

“You don't have to thank us for anything. When we tell you the real reason for this whole thing, you're going to hate us" said Emily laughing. Then it was Rossi' turn.

"Congratulations kid. You have a lovely daughter and a very brave wife. You are a lucky man” he told me while hugging me.

"Where are they? Can I see them?" I asked.

“Yes, they are waiting for you. In that room,” Prentiss said pointing to the last door in the hallway. Without saying anything else I ran there. I poked my head out the door and saw (Y/N) with a bundle wrapped in her arms, my daughter. She immediately noticed my presence.

"Spencer... she just fell asleep." I approached as silently as possible. I was excited, but I was scared too. When I was next to the bed I could see that little lump with her eyes closed and breathing comfortably in her mother's arms. My heart immediately melted. Tears started running down my cheeks. I could tell (Y/N) was crying too. There I remembered again the nightmare that all this must have been for her.

"I'm sorry my love. I'm so sorry that it had to be in this way. I'm sorry I wasn't with you when you needed me most…”. I tried to apologize.

“It’s my fault too. I was reckless. I shouldn't have left the apartment…” she said still sobbing.

“You had no way of knowing. She came earlier…”. I said looking at my daughter. She was beautiful. She looked like an angel. Our little angel.

“She wanted to meet her dad…” (Y/N) said smiling.

"And her mom ..." I replied, putting an arm around (Y/N)'s neck, sitting next to her on the edge of the bed. She rested her head on my arm and looked at me smiling. I leaned in enough to kiss her. “You are tremendously brave (Y/N). You know I admire that about you. And is one of the many reasons why I love you”. I reconnected my lips to hers.

“I love you too Spencer Reid. Despite having yelled at you all those things over the phone…”. We both started laughing.

“I think I deserve it anyway… I promise to take you to Europe on the next vacation. This time I will keep my word”. I sentenced.

"Liar..." she replied smiling.

After a few minutes in silence contemplating and cuddling our little girl, (Y/N) spoke again.

"Spencer?"

"Yes?" I replied still staring my little girl in awe.

"I know... I know we had already discussed our daughter’s name and we had reached an agreement about it..."

"Yes. We did. It’s true. What's up with that?". I asked looking at (Y/N).

“In these hours I've been thinking about it and… everything that happened today, I don't think I could have handled without Prentiss there. She was with me the whole time and… I don't know, if our daughter is here now is largely thanks to her. And well, also thanks to the fact we conceived her a little over 36 weeks ago, of course..."

(Y/N) was right. Although the entire team was involved and contributed to being able to be with our baby now, Prentiss was the one who was with her at all the time.

"If you want, Emily seems like a perfect name for our little girl, and Prentiss seems like a good godmother to me". I replied to (Y/N). She nodded smiling.

"It’s perfect. It certainly is. Do you agree Emily Diana Reid?" (Y/N) asked to our little girl swinging her in her arms. Emily let out a groan, frowning, before resumed her sleep.

“I think she agrees. In fact, she's already mimicked Prentiss," I said jokingly.

"Wait until we tell her..." said (Y/N) laughing and thinking how Prentiss will react with the news.

——————–

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