#so at least the program is great

[waterlemon-melon]

imagine accidentally buying too many tickets to a concert (bought 2 like you planned but freaked out when the ticket price was too high with the student membership so you tested again and the price was fine it’s just you chose the concession ticket and panicked again bc you don’t remember whether a student can buy a concession ticket so you bought a regular ticket (and the price was reduced like the membership advertised) but you checked again and yes students can still get the concession price so in the end you have 3 tickets) and you invited both a high school friend who you’ve been hanging out all the time and a guy who you met in a tutorial and he’s a piano major and now you’re freaking out bc you don’t know how he feels abt meeting someone he hasn’t met (bc he’s super shy and awkward) or how your hs friend feels meeting a music major

also now you’ve spent a week’s worth of pay on this fiasco :)

#random thoughts #and these are not the best seats so we just have to pray that they like the music lol #it’s sibelius violin concerto and shostakovich symphony no 6 #so at least the program is great #i don’t have the heart to ask them to pay back actually #just gotta suck it up #it’s fine it’s just a dent in my savings for a digital piano it’s fiiiiiiine #:’) #presents for no apparent reason lmao #also why is my typing in black??? even in dark mode???

[starbuck]

if anyone was wondering, i’m currently reading published RPF about F. Scott Fitzgerald for *checks notes* my job, so that’s how my life is going.

#i’m not getting PAID to do it unfortunately #but i am getting an absolutely insane emotional experience #and i’m only three chapters in so i’m sure there’s plenty more excitement to come! #the author CANNOT write dialogue for shit… he cannot emulate how real people speak and puts exposition dumps IN the dialogue #and his descriptions are clunky and could have used some more polishing #he’s not great at showing instead of telling #or like. he IS - but he’ll show and then IMMEDIATELY tell #which is just SO disrespectful to the audience imo #and/or the sign of a lack of confidence in the writer #so bad either way #and literally the reason i was annoyed about that one movie earlier #so like. 🤷🤷 #at least the movie had better dialogue #but i think that’s mainly because [redacted] just says whatever the fuck he wants #i know this because i do programs the same way - i can spot a fellow vibes-based speaker easily #it’s good but also MASSIVELY distracting because it reminds me of myself so i get self-conscious 😂😂

[koszmarnybudyn]

Sometimes you have to make traditional art because the program you use is stuck on a bugy update and you can't update it because of the app store wierdly not working, even tho you tried everything so yeah... Have some Leo that looks much better in real life but its fine.

#rottmnt leo #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt #tmnt #tmnt human au #rottmnt human au #lou jitsu leo is so cool #this would look better scanned but i don't have one #i am soooo annoyed at my program >:[ #also watched avatar today and it was great i really enjoyed it #at least my program being a little shit forced me to actually make stuff that i can hang in my room

[birdsofpvey]

.

#okay this is mostly just to dump my stress of my grad program #so i’m signing up for comps and i’m freaking out lowkey because i just sent out an email to get my committee together and i feel so behind #the advisor mentioned she could be my chair which is great but she wanted me to contact her earlier and i didn’t so now i’m lowkey afraid #i sent a message out today telling her if we could discuss subfields and she said you could only discuss it if you have a committee #but also i’m like how the fuck am i going to get a second reader without having the fields ready or at least an idea #so now i’m planning on sending an email to the second reader she recommended and hopefully he agrees since i’m not asking him to chair it #like i know i fucked up and i waited too long but it’s just been so stressful and i feel so overwhelmed #i feel like i might’ve pissed off the advisor a little bit which i obviously didn’t mean to but damn life is kicking my ass right now badly #she seems genuinely nice so maybe i just read the email wrong but the email looked so cold like i just wanted an advising appt 😭

[gremlinbehaviour]

my month long very intense study abroad program ended day before yesterday and since then my joints have hurt so much more than they even did during the program after like 16 hour days of walking and standing. I think now that I have the chance to rest it's all catching up to me and my body is just like 'what the fuck was that. Fuck you.'

And you know what? I can respect that. My joints deserve to get to say fuck you back to me sometimes

#i'm still not going to be properly home for almost another week but at least I'm staying in one place now #and trying to give myself the grace to relax and watch youtube all day instead of pushing myself to go out and walk all the way across rome #hEDS #chronic pain #my ribs hurt #my knees hurt #my hands hurt #i want to be home #like I'm genuinely not even that upset right now I'm just a little numb #this program was great but it was just So Much All the Time #a couple baby goats some rabbits and some kittens are what got me through the last two days

[asinglesock]

me yesterday: I'm going to bite my tongue so I can live peaceably and not argue with my brother-in-law. I'm not going to fight over interpretation of scripture because even if he's teaching harmful things, that doesn't mean I'll be able to make anything better by getting upset

me today: how dare you suggest that "Hellenistic Jews" were a distinct group from "Non-Hellenistic Jews" in the 2nd Temple Period rather than Hellenism being a broad cultural millieu under which all Jewish communities of the time interacted with questions of identity in diverse ways. Read The Beginnings of Jewishness : Boundaries, Varieties, Uncertainties by Shaye J. D. Cohen or I'm going to throw hands.

#a sock speaks #grad school tag #local construction #I was sitting in the living room when he started a Bible study and he got all huffy because I was muttering about it #as picking fights goes though. probably major damages and minimal resulting satisfaction. not great to offend him over this. #not interrupting a Bible study is one thing #but this is the second Bible study in our living room this afternoon. Bible studies muItiple days per week. #I feel like at some point they ought to let me participate. or at least let me sit and mutter. #since a couple years ago I can't get my thoughts straight for in-person discussions. ask a question and I fall apart. #this degree program is NOT inherently useless but I sure can put it to poor use #I know I was being petty and rude. I'm so mad about it #I feel like I've completely lost credibility with my family and childhood church community. feels bad!

[catboybrain]

sniffles sadly. every day im so sad that fnaf didnt go with placing vanny into aftons role.... god forbid women do anything ! ! !

#just saw gtlive finish the first ending n like. urgh #maybe if i liked eclipse more i wouldnt mind how prevalent they r but woof man #like i get it its charlie and evil baby or whatever in the same body but come onnnnn #that and the candy cadet stories just bashing the same kid going into woods framework into the ground #i miss when it was like. this dude sewed 5 kittens together! this lady melted 7 keys! stuff like that yk that was different and scarier #i do rlly think the series is going toward this like polished marketable thing instead of the grimy sludge i liked .... </3 and the AI stuf #is sooooo boring like fuuuuck its so boring. i wouldnt mind if its charliebots bc at least theyre interesting !!!! #but mimic as the new villian? bro. dude. thats so boring come on... afton was interesting bc he was fucked up severly #and robots r just like. theyre just robots dude its not even scary its just a thing being programmed smh #without the afton behind it its kinda just ..... bleh #honestly i wish they would cap the story? like make vanny take aftons role; do some shit; end it in a tragic but cathartic way #and then if they want to make more games do either other families in universe (like fazbear frights) or prequels/ world building shit like #something set in circus babys pizza world or w/e .i mean you could argue its about cassie now but if her dad is bonnie bro we're still stuc #in the afton central place. and i dont like that hteyre moving on without wrapping up the 102938120 loose ends they already made URGH ! ! #is it too much to ask for a fnaf game thats crusty round the edges and really metaphorical for theorists to dig into but logical enough it #can be solved and also creates a good plotline . yeah i guess hell will freeze over before that #d.txt #sorry im sooooo normal about fnaf <- is abnormal. fuhnaffs theories r GREAT thoguh i love that guy he makes me happy about the franchise :o

[camptw1nk]

me wanting to change classes in the 1st week

#me picking a programming class: oh i used to do tumblr html loads im sure ill pick it up #me 3 seconds into class when the wifi wont load so i cant watch the lecture video: im dropping out— #it sounds cool to do comp sci but. i briefly looked at the lecture slides and brain empty #i love maths im okay at maths BUT when my mental health isnt great i am #not as good w maths and not as prepared to put mental strain on myself #and at least right now i feel like. i dont wanna run that risk #i was only taking comp sci in case i decided i wanna do game development as my major but. i don't want it that bad #i was torn between film and game art anyway and they don't need comp sci

[applejarjar]

*sending an email asking for interview feedback as if that wasn't the best interview of my life and if you made me interview again I would burst into tears'

#Stage fright do be frightening #It was such a good interview too #I couldn't have asked for that interview to go any better than it did other than if he offered me the job at the end #Just wasn't enough sadly #Even though it's been like 4 days since the rejection message #I wrote a very friendly and polite email though so hopefully I'll get a nice response back #I think I really was very close to getting the job but we'll have to see #I always forget that interviews aren't usually a one and done kinda thing #That you really want them to ask you to interview again #I just get so nervous #Like how could I top what I already put my all into #Beeg sigh #I'll just have to keep an eye out for any other job openings at that facility #Or pray that the not so great interview I did for the other job was good enough #I'm sending that interviewer an email tomorrow morning as well #Hoping some extra info will beef up my candidacy for the job #Or at least remind him that I exist and am willing to put my all into whatever job I manage to land #Getting down to the wire now #If every job I apply for takes 2 weeks just to give me even a vague idea of how well I'm faring then I'm fucked #There's less than a month left in this program and I have to have a job squared away before it ends #Or they'll try to shove me in whatever role is available #I can always go back home but that's quitter talk and also might get me blacklisted in the industry #Plus I'd have to payback the bonus which wouldn't be so bad if it was 1 for 1 but it was taxed so damn heavily #That I'd be out like 800 bucks ugh #Oh the anxiety

[kakusu-shipping]

I am once again making a long annoying post but after posting my Overwatch S/I references I kept rattling the timeline of events for them around until I finally sat down and made it

This is the most bare bones way I could write out the current string of events I have, To Be Continued due to current lack of actual in-game story events

#Long post #Oh boy I don't want to put this in any tags it's so long and annoying I am SO sorry dfjkjfdk #I filled in some blanks of Overwatch story and probably got a few things and the general timeline wrong #but whatever there's no official ages for the OW characters on their page anymore so what's it matter #I apologize for how long Maximillien's section is I really REALLY like Talon and spent a lot more mental energy on that one #Ignore how little Zenyatta romance timeline there is I love him great it's just #MOST OF the actual dating part takes place after he's joined Overwatch #And we doesn't have the PvE modes yet that tell us those stories so #I'm left to my own devices for the time being #Talon Bad ending is a new with Ramattra kind of story line I'm working on just as like #Usually my S/I is a support character if he's even playable at all #I like NPCs a lot more and would be fine just being a Guy who gets Mentioned #But the Talon Bad ending is an attempt to make him more DPS still in the support role but like Moira you know can also kick ass #I'm working more on the moveset than the plot atm and I am. Very bad at game design skgjksgjkf #I can't make a fun playable system but I sure can make a backstory at least #I don't think I'll ever edit this the program I used is a 30 day free trial that asked for my credit card despite it being a FREE trial #So this is just gonna have to be It gamers #Asks are welcome for this if anyone wants to know more I do probably have more

[mmmairon]

hey hi hello ! average diluc enjoyer here — you might have answered this in the past, but what do you use to make your art?

absolutely love your work btw !! <33 you’ve made the pretty strawberry man impossibly prettier ´,,•ω•,,)♡

Hello!! I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply to this :')

Currently, I'm using procreate on an iPad with an apple pencil to make my art. I have been since September 2021. I do my post-processing in an app called Polarr. It used to be free, but now you need a subscription. Decided to get one since I still see myself using it in the future :')

Before this, however, I used to paint religiously in photoshop. I want to get back to this since you can do so much more than you can on procreate (also my brushes from photoshop do not translate well at all on procreate [sad face]). But I've been using procreate since I've been going back and forth from home to school.

When I paint in photoshop, I use a Huion display tablet. I swear by this bad boy. The only issue I'm having with it right now is there's significant parallax. I don't really recall it being so bad in the centre of the screen, I think I have to recalibrate something...

I hope this helps, don't be afraid to ask about anything else!

#I honestly dont really think ive been asked this question before #or at least not recently #but i hope this helps a bit! #paint tool sai is still an amazing program #i made so much of my art with that #its lightweight #has great blending #and is a one time fee #will run on anything #i seriously recommend it #i really only moved from it because I wanted to develop my style further with more textured brushes #it's a bit limited in that area sadly #asks #goosegotloosebrb #your username reminds me of all the times my goose would chase me across the yard as a kid I was terrified of that thing #like id be screaming and crying #that thing had razors for teeth #not art

[saucylittlesmile]

The Canadian Nationals 2006 free dance. It starts off with a bang - a bus full of VM family descending on Ottawa to watch the competition live.

This is the heartbreaker event for young VM, who had hopes and dreams of going to Torino Olympics 2006, but were edged out by the silver medal team of Wing/Lowe. VM beat them in both the OD and the FD, but the gap in the compulsory was too much to overcome, and Skate Canada went with the traditional choice of their more experienced and mature silver medalists. Of course, we all know how the rest of this story goes, but at the time, VM were extremely disappointed.

The compulsory, which is unsurprisingly not available, was the Tango Romantica, a difficult pattern only skated at the senior level. Therefore it was a brand new dance for VM, and according to the commentators, a ‘rough’ outing. More surprising is the lack of video of the OD, but not just for this event - while several uploaders have shared it from 4CC (an understandably more accessible event as it was an international, senior event), there seems to be only low quality versions of the Nationals OD (for which I am still grateful!) and that is it. Even Junior Worlds does not seem to have the OD available.

As with the 2004/2005 season, VM competed as juniors, but at Nationals were in the senior division, and therefore had to add an extra minute and more elements to their FD for this event. When they did not make the Olympic team, they were assigned to Four Continents 2006, where they made their senior international debut and used this extended version of their FD again (though they had a disappointing skate), before going to Junior Worlds where they became the first Canadian team to win gold.

#so 2005/2006 is probably my least favourite VM program year #but their programs were so difficult #watch those changes of hold in the FD and try to imagine it happening these days lol #the uploader has the fd for 4cc and the quality is great but the skate makes me sad for them #Youtube

[welcometotheravenclawcommonroom]

Halfway through a cup of coffee and I’m hit with another possible idea for my masters thesis with the force of a wild fever dream

#okay a year left in my program and now I have two very broad ideas and can at least bring something #to people who can help me choose and hammer down specifics #I’m great at ideas #very bad at minutia and logistics #at least in terms of academia #my brain works in big picture but I’ve gotten better at organizing everyday life #because idk being a woman who has adhd with a dad who has adhd but doesn’t try to fix it #and who has no societal expectations to be organized and together unlike women so he weaponizes his incompetence #whereas I don’t have that luxury #means that I kind of have to help hold everything together when I’m home so I can help my overwhelmed mom who can’t do it all #means that I can actually be pretty good at organizing practical crap #but academia is different because i haven’t quite been able to do the same thing there yet since it took years of forced masking #and uncomfortable training against my natural brain way of working #to be able to do it in every day life #but for academia it’s a bit different #so I need major help organizing logistics and minutia there lol anyway #i have ideas and now I get to do the hard part #I’ve got one year left before my MA (assuming I pass all my exams and am even allowed to finish the program) 😅 #so yeah AHHHH

[milkweedman]

I had another pain management setup appointment this morning, this time with a physical therapist, and she was asking me about my flare ups and everything and i came to the realizations that 1) theres always a bit of a leadup to the flare, where i'll have a couple days where i feel like shit and my joints feel hot and weak but its also nowhere near the pain levels of an actual flare up. And 2) i am in fact in a pre-flare up right now :/

All this to say that im warping another belt but im not trying backstrap again right now because i can already tell im going to feel like death tomorrow

#the two pain management specialists ive seen so far have been really great which makes me hopeful that ill actually. yknow. get treatment. #of course it could be that the actual medication prescribing doctor is an idiot and asshole in which case i am course screwed #you really never know #have my first appointment with him in a week though #but yeah yesterday was way too much. and it wasnt even that much by anyone else's standards #or at least my coworkers seemed fine. but it definitely jumpstarted a flare up #just always a bit strange to actually. awknowledge that im in pain and theres something wrong #and downright insane to have someone be like 'yeah dude thats not right lets see if we can fix it' #bc i was dealing w a lot of this joint shit as a kid too but if i said anything my parents would get furious about me #'trying to get out of school by faking sick' #didnt matter if the problem was that my feet hurt bc my shoes were always too small hand me downs (an easily fixable issue) #or if i had sprained my ankle for the 10th time that month because there is something fundamentally wrong with my joints #they would just completely refuse to listen or help in any way and usually punish me for asking #so.... the experience of having someone ask me about my pain. listen. believe me. and start talking about what we can try to ameliorate it #is uh. somewhat novel. and also a lot. #chronic illness #im also still expecting someone to be like 'hey so this program is actually for people who are REALLY in pain and you dont qualify #because youre not that bad' #but nobody has said that yet which on the one hand. yay treatment (hopefully) #but on the other hand. when im not actively in a flare up or going into one i am always at least 80% convinced that im making it all up #or that im blowing it out of proportion or something #which also serves to stop me from spiralling 24/7 into health anxiety ocd doom #so with that barrier temporarily removed bc a specialist was nice to me i am now free to spiral #which. i am #should probably just start weaving before i go insane etc

[yakamozarda]

I think i should like. Talk to my therapist about taking a gap year bc i feel like i need a proper rest that wont be related to anything i wanna do in long term and just Chill but at the same time idk how to. Rest. Like it is legit something im bad at i cant fucking rest more than a week and i feel like i need more than a week to fucking unmentally ill myself or some shit. I dont fucking know man

#cecil.txt #I know im experiencing some sort of burn out? Or whatever the fuck it is #Idk it feels. Too luxurious to take a gap year even tho i know i will probably at least find a part time job for it #Idek #Yesterday while talking to my therapist i realised how i didnt wanna do anything at all #So idk if it is healthy to push myself to find a paid phd program or a job next year right after graduation #Esp since i can like. Afford to take a gap year. My mom is more than okay with me staying with her during that time but i fucking hate the #Idea of moving back in. I love my mom but my hometown is boring af #Working in istanbul would be great as a gap year but holy shit. The fucking economy. Idek man it doesnt sound uuhh hashtag relaxing to me #Idk #I fucking wish the jobs/internships i have applied so far would work out. I either keep getting rejected or ghosted #Yesterday i got rejected by a job i didnt even fucking want and i KNOW im fucking overqualified for it most likely. I fucking hate this #It was a fucking mobile dating sim writing. I have a degree in literature and i have done narrative design for fucks sake and worked in a #Game project with a way more complicated mechanic than a fucking lame dating sim #Got rejected bc 'they are looking for a more specific cv' #All my writings feel too niche or specific for me to get an entry level job and i fucking hate the idea of writing for a lame game to begin #With #And if i wanna get away with my weird af design ideas phd is the best way to go but. Im so tired of academia. But im also fucking terrified #Of getting a job. Ugh #There is this internship that would be PERFECT for me that im qualified for but ffs they ghosted me. Im gonna fucking go insane #Anyways #Negativity #Or whatever yall use to filter these bs

[gamebunny-advance]

Ah.

I didn't finish adding the shine to the puffs behind the antenna.

I'm gonna have to re-rig and re-animate the model again ;3;

#just when i thought i was done #some more emotions would be great too #but i think i can get by with the bare minimum (open and closed mouth) for now #i just wanna start streaming again~ #you'd think it'd be as simple as just fixing it and swapping out the files #but the program i'm using to animate isn't so convinent #at least as far as I can tell #because I would *love* to just fix that single layer and not have to redo the entire thing #but cest la vie #at least i don't have to redo the talk sprite #since the antenna don't move in that one #and this is only a problem to begin with #because cut up the model very late in the process #if y'all ever wanna get into this #have better planning skills then I do UmU