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voidwritesstuff · 6 months

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Shadows in the radio static. (Shadow! Alphonso AU)

->created by: @graceandtheidiotsquad .

Summary: the rainbow chemical has unexpected side effects,like keeping the dead amongst the living.

->cw: a scene of harrasment, mentions of PTSD.

Theres a lot of noise in the air, gunshots, air planes,screams,garbled noises from the radio. The Sky is black with no stars,the mud is Sticky on his boots as he runs up a tree, he sees his lieutenant, Lucas Cole, and thanks god hes not alone.

But even then,alphonso feels out of it too, the world shifts between this hellish swamp and his backyard in the appalachias. But he managed to climb up that tree, Lucas is not there mentally, his eyes are wide and his gaze is lost and wild.

He watches his lieutenant raise his gun. A sharp pain shatters into his nervous system, and only as his eyelids feel heavy does he sees Lucas lean over him and tell,tears in his eyes. He hears "im so sorry,im so sorry! Oh crap Alphonso! Stay with me!--stay"

Darkness.

It feels like an eternity in the dark void,he tries to follow the voices and cries for help of his fellow soldiers but they vanish when he tries to touch them.

But then he sees Lucas...hes not longer on the swamp though, hes in the medical bay being treated for his injuries. This time,when he tries to Grab his shoulder he falls to the floor, no longer on that void.

--kid! Kid?! Do you hear me!?--He yelled right in his ear. But all Lucas does is flinch and shuffle away.-- the hell am I? Some kind of ghost?

Thats how he finds himself following Lucas around,the few times he manages to make contact is through dreams. But he soon finds his lieutenant either doesnt remember them or chalks it up to ptsd.

--Damn it kid!!-- He huffed, sitting with him as hes shipped back to the USA. But then he sees Lucas slowly fall asleep, instictively leaning towards him. Alphonso sighs and leans his head on his, side hugging him. His anger melts and he just says-- alright then, just rest...

He finds himself watching Lucas as the years pass by,the few times hes made contact his Friend has woken up in a cold sweat or made him a little paranoid.

Nothing changes until Lucas finds his way towards Milton-Haven, Alphonso can see this weird ghost Lady that he speaks to sometimes.

--How do you manage to get yknow- an actual physical form?--He asked her once, she was by an electric tower.

--pull energy- from radios, or--electricity-- she replies-- can be- temporarily, not sure if permanent

Alphonso nodds and sits with her-- How do you do that?

This ghost Lady takes his hand and puts it to one of the legs of the tower, theres sparks and then suddenly hes training the Power with her.

--We might end up causing a black out-- he half joked, and the ghost Lady laughed-- I never asked ya yer name

The ghost Lady looked at him through her glasses, her curly hair in a ponytail swaying with electricity, and her Angel wings that looked like radio waves shuffle. Light blue energy zaps around her like a Tesla coil. Its intimidating but somehow inviting.

She replies-- Doctor Rosemary James.

Alphonso doesnt try to materialize until the Next night, sucking up all the Power he could. Needless to say there were Many reported temporal black outs and lights acting funky.

Lucas had just come back from his first Real date in a while. Hes tinkering with a radio, murmuring "creep" by radiohead, hes too concentrated on his work and todays events that he doesnt notice the first flickers of light.

But then they get worse, a second passes by and he looks at the light on the ceiling-- what the- its the third time this week!

Lucas feels the hairs in the back of his head stand up, he drops the tool he was using and looks behind him, then he hears a -- That would be my fault,kid.

His eyes go wide and filled with tears-- what the hell

He sees a Man, mid fortys, wearing a ww2 uniform. A piece of his cheek is missing, his skin is deathly white, red spider lillies grow from his helmet and his Pointy dog ears pressed against the side of his head.

--Youre dead-- he says matter of factly,hands shaking.

--Gee,nice GOFO, lieutenant-- the bastard has the Audacity to smirk. Then he pulls him for a tight hug.

Lucas expected him to smell god awful,but he senses the sweet aroma of flowers and his usual cologne. He hugs his friend tight and sobs into his shoulder, the moss on his clothes soft against his skin.

--is-is this Real?--He asks,voice barely a whisper.

--Yup. As Real as it gets,kid-- he whispers, stroking his back-- 'm guessing you want an explanation, dont worry,we have all the time in the world now

Alphonso starts to explain everything that happened since the very beginning, how he got here and who taught him how to materialize, upon hearing the name, Lucas looks at his Friend with wide eyes.

--Wait- Rosemary?! Shes still with you?

--There are days where she cant even talk to me, but im sure she'll give us an answer if I ask-- the other Man said with a shrug.-- hey,grab us a beer so you can tell me about your hot date

--You saw everything?!-- he asked with dark cheeks.

--Nah I gave you two lovebirds privacy. Just stayed around the area.

Lucas sighs and stands up, gong to Grab two beers from the fridge,shaking his heas-- oh fuck me. --He growls in disbelief.

Few seconds later hes opening a beer,but before he gives it to Alphonso he says--Ya sure you can drink this?

Wheeler clicks his tongue and snatches the beer--Give me that shit-- his friend laughs and then takes a sip-- god,I missed this.

The ex radioman chuckles-- hmm, I imagine -- but then he sees his captain smile wide, his sharp,yellowed teeth showing.

--So, tell me about the girl-- He said,a little too smug.

Lucas almost chokes on his drink-- well- uhm. I met her because I thought was running late. We share the same therapist, turns out I got there really early, and uhh we started talking

--Thats sweet-- Alphonso says-- whats her name?

--Jerico-- he replied-- jerico Castro, shes very sweet and shes got the prettiest smile. Man,you shoulda seen me when I met her, my breath left my chest and I got so red in the face, you and the others wouldntve let me live it down

The other Man chuckles, his completely white eyes twinkling with mirth-- hm, bet

So,they both spend the night talking, up until Lucas falls asleep. Alphonso chuckles, he picks up his friend with ease and carries him to his room, fireman Carry style.

--Dude. Get a bed-- he murmurs and sets him down on the cot, covering him. Then,he goes to rest on the one person couch outside his Friends room. He almost seems to curl up like a dog, his ears down.

For the Next few days,alphonson follows Lucas around his usual schedule. He walks beside him to his therapist's Office, helps him to Get groceries (wearing a beanie, a jacket with a hoodie and a bandana around his face,with sunglasses).

--Ya dont gotta follow me 'round-- Lucas teased,putting the groceries on the table.

His Friend shrugs-- I guess I still Belive youre my boy-- he ruffles his lieutenants curly black hair-- guess yer a Man now

Lucas smiles with warmth, he chuckles and hugs his friend-- thats very sweet,you know? I guess in some way yer still my captain

Wheeler shakes his head-- You are yer own Man now.

A few more days go by of this routine. Alphonso was more than happy to watch and help his friend, every day Lucas would wake up to Alphonso sleeping on the one person couch Next the door of his room,Like a Guardian dog.

--Dont try n lick me now-- he joked once.

--cant make any promised-- his captain replied with a shrug.

One night, Lucas is fixing himself up in the mirror,he struggles to fix up his tie-- jesus fucking christ,55 Years and I still cant-

Wheeler sighs and fixes up his tie-- just like bootcamp

The other Man chuckled-- just like boot camp. Thanks

--s'nothing. Good luck,tiger-- his captain winks.

During the night, Alphonso keeps a healthy distance between him and Lucas,who walks hand in hand with his date.

--Man,dont you look stunning-- the ex soldier whispered, nuzzling his dates hair.

-- have you seen yourself in the mirror? -- jerico whispered with a smile,leaning on him-- love the cologne

He shrugged-- thanks, a friend reccomended it

--Hes got good taste-- both walk past a Group of men,who look at jeri with less than friendly intentions. Lucas purses his lips and covers her with his arm, pulling her closer.

Two of the guys follow them to the restaurant they were going, the ex soldier is aware of this and Gently tells his date-- babe, go to our spot,okay? Ill be there in a moment.

Jerico whispers a "be safe" since she noted the men too, and leaves to their table. Lucas Turned to the men with pursed lips-- do we really have to do this?

The two men dont reply, but before any of the two can do something, Alphonso jumps on them, mouth billowing hot smoke. His clawy hands rip the two men away and says-- Go,I can handle this

Lucas watches both impressed and in horror as his Friend pulls the men to a dark alleyway. He knows his moral compass wont let him forget that easily,but in reality he just wants to continue his date.

So,he rejoins his date. And the rest of the night goes swimingly.

He drops her off at her house, giving a tight hug and a nice passionate kiss, she gladly kisses back and hugs his neck.

--Hey, what about the guys from before? -- jerico asked, stroking his jaw with her thumb.

--'Eh,I wouldnt worry 'bout it. I scared them off

She chuckles and says-- uh-huh, sure thing tough guy.

The ex soldier kisses his dates forehead-- sweet dreams,hon.

--Night,lu

Lucas drives back to the cabin with joy and warmth in his chest. He opens the door of his house with a sigh And drags his feet to his bedroom,ready to pass out.

--hey! How did the date go?--Alphonso asked,curled up on the one person sofá, one of his eyes Open and one of his ears raised as his tail wags lazily-- n' before ya ask I just gave them a good beating.

The radioman chuckles-- not a scratch on ya,guess ya never lost yer touch. N' it went well, I dropped her off, we had fun. She specially liked that I kept in mind her food sensitivities.

--Always paying attention to the little details-- wheeler replied with a tired smirk-- thats good. Get some rest,kid.

--Ten-Four captain-- the other Man replied, giving a pat on the head to his friend and going to his room. He loosens his tie and then undoing his hairbun, his black curly hair bouncing a little-- night!

--Night!--Alphonso replied,closing his eye and tucking his ears against the side of his head. For the rest of the night he keeps watch on the house.

Lucas decides that even if it was a little odd, it was good to have his captain,his mentor, his friend back.

#ism Alphonso #ism alphonso wheeler #ism lucas #ism lucas cole #ism rosemary #ism rosemary james #ism au #shadows in the radio static au #oc: the blaze/the ember ism

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obamaonaunicorn · 1 year

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Partners (In Medicine)

Medicine was always something that fascinated Carley, but aside from basic first aid, she'd never gotten the chance to learn anything else. So, after she saw Katjaa in their makeshift medical bay cleaning Lilly's hand following a nasty cut, she knew she needed to sieze the opportunity and ask for help.

"Hey, Katjaa," Carley said, approaching the older woman. "I was wondering if you could teach me some medical stuff? I've always wanted to learn, but I don't really know where to start with this stuff," Carley added on, her hands finding their way to her pockets.

"Oh, of course, dear," Katjaa replied, smiling warmly at the woman Infront of her, "I'd be happy to teach you the basics."

"Thank you, I really appreciate it."

Over the course of the next two weeks, Katjaa took the young woman under her wing, while showing her how to clean wounds, give out dosages of basic medication, and suture injuries that needed it.

Carley, on the other hand, was absolutely thrilled to be given so much information and expand her skills beyond what she had learned from a few online classes she'd taken prior to the apocalypse.

Over time, Katjaa began to see more of her younger self in Carley, with the same passion and dedication towards helping people that she had always felt. There was a feeling of pride in her whenever she watched the young woman cleaning wounds or applying bandages.

"Thanks, Carley," Mark said, rubbing his shoulder in pain "God only knows what would've happened if we left that arrow there."

"No problem, Mark." Carly replied, storing the pain medications away, "Just make sure it doesn't happen again."

As Mark walked away, clutching his right shoulder, Carley finished cleaning the medical bay.

"Carley, you're a natural," Katjaa said, approaching the woman. "You have a gift for helping others, I can see it in the way you work."

Upon hearing this, Carley's face lit up in joy, her chest swelling up with pride.

"Thanks, Katjaa," She said, shaking her friend's hand, "I don't know what I'd do without your help."

Upon hearing this, Katjaa gave Carley a smile, knowing she'd made a positive difference in someone's life. Undoubtedly, she was happy to share her knowledge with someone so eager to learn, and despite the fact that Carley still had a long way to go before she could be considered a professional, Katjaa would be with her every step of the way.

#twdg #twdg s1 #the walking dead game #twdg katjaa #twdg carley #the walking dead game season 1

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otulissa-archive · 2 years

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high as shit. havin many thoughts and feelin rambly in an incoherent way and remembering this is a personal blog and I’m allowed to be personal on it and my own interests come before anything else :3

probably going to be less reblog heavy on here movin forward maybe? maybe I’ll sort out my side blogs both for my own sake and for other people to follow if they prefer just heehee funny content or a specific fandom? I’ll think about it when I’m more awake, I love arbitrarily sorting things out into ways that only make sense to me.

I think it’s SO fascinating that until I get the chance to meet some of my online mutuals in person, they don’t get to know what I’m like as a real person... and the people that knew me in high school probably only remember an old version of me. I’ve changed so much in the past 5+ years, and I like to think in generally positive ways! Being super medicated helps with that.

I feel like I wasn’t a full person in high school and the very beginning of college because of how many things were going on in my personal life. I moved accounts pretty frequently in a “you can’t change your username on deviantArt” kind of way, but still felt like I was constantly rebranding, every time. Sometimes it was just going by different names, but even just my nicknames feel like such different eras of my time. Some people met me as Milly, some people met me as Birdy, and some have only ever known me as Lilly. I feel like if someone only ever knew me as Lilly, then they don’t really get the full picture of me, I guess?

And I mean, I know that’s definitely because I’m so much worse at communication online. I love my long distance acquaintances absolutely and so dearly, but I hate messaging and calling. I love talking and listening to people, and I always love reading and receiving messages from other people. But when it comes to responding, it always slips out of my head so easily! I just feel a little stinky for it, but I know that it’s not my fault and it’s just brain stuff that makes me forgetful. Still, this is a threat to all of you that look at me and consider me a friend - if my car gets fixed and you’re hanging out in the California Bay Area, I WILL want to hang out with you. If it’s not far. I love you but also I’ll only tolerate driving through SF for Gemma.

I don’t remember where I was going with this, I got distracted by formatting. Realizing that I have “casual/Twitter” formatting, normal formatting (proper punctuation/capitalization), then “high Lilly” which types bullshit but really coherently. Absolutely fucking lovely for someone that loves listening to herself talk to have just a wall of text to look at tomorrow that probably makes sense? But is probably worded a little dumber than usual.

Getting embarrassed realizing I typed this much. Making myself post it anyways because I’m being vulnerable by posting not-proofread, "stream of consciousness” thoughts and I think it’s good for me to acknowledge my unfiltered thoughts in its intended format (several paragraphs of writing), even if I’m a bit zooted ;p

#lillyrambling

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that-sokovian-bastard · 3 years

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"You're alive?" x2 with pietro

wow this is such a good prompt thanks lilly!! takes place right after age of ultron bc im a simp for pietro. it's also more avengers x reader but hey i requested this one i do what i want

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You'd been stuck in bed for a few weeks, still in the dark about how the battle in Sokovia ended. You got hurt pretty badly by Ultron and were put on the Helicarrier near the end, and you've been stuck in the med bay ever since, recovering. Everyone else was still recovering, too, so no one thought to tell you how the battle ended.

You heard that your best friend Pietro got shot by Ultron a lot, but they didn't tell you that. Stark and Banner thought you were asleep, and you overheard it, and you didn't know how to act when you found out Pietro didn't make it. How was Wanda? Did Wanda even survive?

Finally, you would get your answers as you were now strong enough to make it out of bed and not risk hurting yourself. You braved yourself to go to the common room to see your new friends and hopefully get some updates.

"Hey," Captain America said when he saw you slowly making your way down the hallway. "I didn't know you were cleared yet. I would have helped you around."

"It's okay," You said, still a little weary around him. It was a lot of trust the Avengers had to put into you and your friends, you didn't want to give them any second thoughts.

Captain America offered you his arm, and you leaned on it to make the walk easier. You thanked him as you entered the common room that had a big couch and a TV larger than you had ever seen. Right when you sat down, you looked around at the others in the room, and your jaw dropped.

"You're alive?!" You shouted at the same time as Pietro when you two realized you were there.

"I thought you died!" You gasped."Me? I thought you died!" He shook his hand and got up to hug you. Maybe eavesdropping wasn't always right.

---

Send me a prompt and a character and I’ll write a drabble for it!

#avengers drabble #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff x reader #marvel smut #drabble #avengers imagine #drabble game #lilly answers

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otomegamesandme · 3 years

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A Lily in A Sea of Red

Fandom: Piofiore: Fated Memories

Pairing: Leo/Lili

Rating: T

Warnings: Mild references to violence

A/N: This is more a character study then anything, and I'm still sad there isn't more fanfic for them. I might write more, but for now here's this. Also on AO3 if you'd prefer to read it there: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32233639

News spread quickly among the Falzones. It was necessary. If the members didn’t keep on top of things, it could be the difference between lost turf wars, lost members, lost Falzone bosses. Efficiency had gone up since the last boss’s passing, leaving Dante the newest leader in tragedy’s wake.

This time the whispers were of a young woman. Soft and saintly, an aura only someone of the Church could have. It was unknown why she was staying at the mansion, other than Dante’s claim Yang’s gang was after her. It was for this reason Leo was placed to guard her. The idea made him nervous.

He was a skilled shot, had to be so he didn’t get killed. Hand to hand combat was a little harder, since he was smaller than most the men he’d find himself against. Protecting someone inside the mansion, though, was something he convinced himself he could do.

The first time he met her she’d been filled with nerves, and so had he. She’d held her hands together in a formation like prayer, and he noted it was to stop her hands from shaking. He knew her name, but when he heard her say it, the sound was peace in spring.

“Liliana Adornato.”

After the first meeting he’d mouthed her name in bed, wondering if he’d ever capture such a feeling again.

The two fell into a routine, it was easy to. Being around her was a break from the chaos he was used to. Having meals together, snacks together, conversations together, were so different than what he was used to. Although this was his family, and he owed his life to the Falzones, he couldn’t help the loneliness that crept up on the worst of days. He was aware of his failings, and although he wished nothing more than to prove his worth, he still felt like a child stumbling over each step.

With Liliana, he felt weightless. Perhaps it was under false pretenses, he was a killer after all, and the sunshine he showed was as artificial as the moon reflecting the sun, it brought her comfort. At some point, during those first weeks, he’d nearly forgotten who he was as well.

The first time there’d been an attack on Lilliana, it’d been outside as she had visited the church again for the first time. The Lao-Shu had been waiting and watching. It was something that didn’t feel natural to them. What they wanted, they took, and what they wanted was always beneficial to them. Leo couldn’t pinpoint where Lilliana fit into it all.

He’d taken her hand and ran, because his duty wasn’t to fight it was to protect. Her hand trembled in his, but there was a gleam in her eyes that spoke of her determination to survive. He hadn’t had time to process the way that struck him, as the two zipped through side streets.

Afterwards, when they’d made it to the Falzone mansion, Liliana had asked if it would be alright to have tea together. Her nerves were shook and he was a master at lightening the mood. The two spoke for hours, until her eyes were heavy lidded. Before they’d parted ways, she placed a hand on his shoulder, smile lazy in her exhaustion.

“You can call me Lili.”

He didn’t know how a simple sentence could make him so tongue tied, “Are you certain?”

“Yes. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Despite the violence which had broken her naivety, she still considered him a friend. If Leo guessed, she still considered everyone here as someone she’d grown to care about in some way. The surprise of it all made a smile bloom across his face, “We are.”

It didn’t take long for Leo to wish for them to grow into something more.

The will of the family was put before anything. And Dante Falzone represented this will. Leo was only meant to be her guard, and it was obvious to Leo Lili meant something to him. If Dante wished it, who was Leo to go against it. He was given the gift of a family and in return he offered his loyalty. And besides, Lilli only saw him as a good friend. And as a boy.

He was sunshine beaming through rainclouds, offering her joy on the worst of days. When things in the city got worse, when a new drug started circulating through town, when people died in front of her eyes, when she was caught between the feud of three mafia families, he was there. He offered conversation and distractions and laughs. On the days it was too hard for her to leave bed, he offered comfort.

His hands would comb through her hair as she cried out the shock in silence. The reactions became less severe, and she had mastered the art of masking her horror long ago. But in these moments alone, she broke. Except Leo couldn’t bare to leave her alone.

As the weather became cooler and autumn entered it’s late stages, Leo had gotten permission to take her to shop for warm clothes. Everything she had was so thin, and while she insisted she hadn’t minded, she also hadn’t left the manor in a while. Dante had wanted things to calm, and there’d been a lull in violence for the moment.

After a lot of insistence, Leo got permission, and the two headed into town. Lilli’s eyes always filled with melancholy whenever she went out now. The city had changed, from a place of vibrancy to one of lifelessness.

“Things will get better soon, I promise.”

Lili startled at his words, looking as though she’d just woken from a daydream, “I know they will.”

She’d been praying for weeks now, for this very thing. Sometimes when he’d gone to her room to remind her of dinner, he’d hear her whispers. He never could interrupt her prayers, so he’d listen to the muffled words, and offer a prayer with her. For her. It was the only thing he felt he could do.

Now, he offered his arm, feeling oddly bold in doing so, “Come on, let’s make the most of the day.”

When they returned, they were greeted by news of Nicola’s betrayal.

Broken morale followed in the week after, then a quiet anger underneath. The oppressive atmosphere that once existed outside had leaked into the Falzone household, electrifying the air. Any reprieve they had was encased in suspicion of everyone else. If their leader’s right-hand man was a traitor, then it was possible anyone else could be, too.

“Maybe it’s foolish of me, but I think there’s a reason he did it,” Lili stared at her tea, the opaque liquid reflecting her face back to her. Her hands were clasped in her lap, nails biting skin. Leo wanted to take them in his and rub away the nail marks left behind.

He glanced at the table instead, mirroring her actions, “I want to believe so, too. Everyone knows they’ve been best friends ever since they were children. It’s hard to believe he would do this without a reason.”

“I can’t help but feel this is my fault,” the line struck Leo. He rushed to protest, but she was faster, “All of the events happening here have been the result of my existence in some way. Maybe I bring tragedy.”

“Lili…” He felt her pain like his own. For all the years he’d been part of the Falzone family, he hadn’t been one to stand out. He wasn’t as strong, as quick, as coordinated as those around him. Sometimes he wondered if he’d been better, would old members still be alive. The sentiment Lili shared was one he resonated with.

She gave a choked laugh, “I’m sorry, Leo. I know you try so hard to cheer me up. I just can’t help but worry—”

Tears pricked her eyes, and Leo went to her without thought. His hands cupped her cheeks, and her eyes widened. Carefully, he wiped them away, cradling her face in his hands. She looked so small, when he saw her like this.

“You are a gift not a tragedy,” his voice was one he could hardly recognize. Underneath, he felt all the things he’d wished for, encompassed in a single phrase, “This is not your fault. The three families have been warring for years, it was bound to come to this eventually.”

Lili’s hands came to rest over his. A part of him expected her to pull them away, but instead her fingers traced along his skin, as if not comprehending. Her eyes were still wide, but her tears had stopped, and in that moment it was the only thing that mattered.

“We’ll be happy again, Lili.”

“We will be.”

Neither of them had strength in those words, but there was determination in their blood. A spark was back in Lili’s eyes and Leo smiled in relief. Lightly, softly, he ghosted a kiss across her forehead before he pulled away. He was aware he shouldn’t have, but the soft blush on Lili’s cheeks kept bay any regret.

His job was to protect her, and he’d long decided it included her heart and spirit as well.

#piofiore: fated memories #piofiore #piofiore fanfic #piofiore leo #piofiore leo x lili #LISTEN #I know there wasn't a proper kiss but it didn't feel right in this context so #If I write another fanfic it'll solely be so I can do the kiss scene #also guess I write fanfic now ajsjs #these are so funny

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harryandmolly · 4 years

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fear and loathing in mandeville canyon *2*

summary: Shawn & Lilly, derailed, detoured, but maybe not destroyed

warnings: language, going going but not quite gone

wc: 3.2k

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He forgot about how pink she is.

It sounds so stupid, even in his head. Of course she’s kind of pink. She’s pale and gingery. It’s just jarring to see her skin like this again, glowing in the kitchen in the dappled morning sunlight.

He announces himself with a clearing of his throat and peels his interested gaze away from the way her rosy toes bounce to an invisible beat against the kitchen floor. She looks over her shoulder.

More pink.

“Morning,” he grunts, edging around the other side of the counter to head for the fridge.

“Hi.”

Her voice is soft and a little rough. He forces himself not to look at her. He busies himself instead with digging an apple out of the fruit drawer.

“How’s the room?” he asks, a safe entrance point.

“Oh, it’s good. It’s nice.”

He aches. They’re so awkward. He doesn’t know what he was expecting. He tried to steel himself for this, he knew they couldn’t just fall back into what they were before. But how do you prepare for the awkwardness of being strangers with your best friend?

“Good. Cool. Yeah, I thought the balcony would be good. I mean, y’know, for yoga.”

She nods, then looks back down at the pan of eggs she’s cooking. She’s swirling her spatula, cooking them over a very low heat like Gordon Ramsey. He’s never watched her cook eggs before. When they were together, they usually Postmated breakfast. He doesn’t really know why.

She looks tired, despite his assumption that she slept from early last night until just now. She looks as tired as he feels, having gotten around the four hours that’s become all but normal to him recently. He has too much going on in his head to expect any restorative sleep. There aren’t enough waking hours in the day, so his body made more.

Lilly looks up at him so suddenly he stops, mouth open, the apple hovering near his lips, unmoving. He feels his heart stutter in his chest.

Her eyes drop. She swallows and seems to refocus on her breakfast. Shawn tries not to feel disappointed. After all, he disappointed her first.

“I’ll be around outside if you need me,” he offers, hoping to god he doesn’t look like a kicked puppy as he wanders off, watching her gaze remain steady on the eggs like he didn’t say anything at all.

Shawn slips the phone back into his pocket. It’s not doing him any good right now. He’s not sure what is. He glances down at his guitar disdainfully, then back up to squint through the afternoon sun at the winding gardens.

He’s been outside almost all day. A part of him wonders if he’s subconsciously surrendering the space to her, in case she really doesn’t want him in it. A bigger part of him thinks he just doesn’t want her to hear this shit he’s working on.

Every time he thinks of a lyric and decides to sing it out loud, he almost convulses with disgust. Nothing sounds right or feels right. He likes the melody -- loves it, actually. He hasn’t written anything worth a damn in the last few weeks, and possibly before, and this had him hoping he was getting back on track with his album. But now he’s stuck. Beyond stuck. He’s exhausted and stressed enough to half-believe he’s lost any songwriting talent he ever had.

He wonders what Lilly’s doing. He’s afraid to check. He doesn’t want to hover or annoy her. His stomach turns at the idea of her disliking him any more than she already does. The truth is, he craves her company more than anything else about her. He misses plucking at a guitar at one end of a couch with her feet in his lap while she wrote on her laptop. He even misses FaceTime sessions when they were mostly silent, getting other shit done, but just wanted, needed to be with each other.

He wets his lips and slouches against the teak garden bench, sighing heavily as his mind races through a harried, scattered version of a summation of the last nine months. He can’t believe he let everything get so fucked up. Shawn picks at a loose thread on his gym shorts and wonders if there’s any chance at all that she might miss being around him, too.

He lifts the guitar back into his lap after a too-long self pity session. He clears his throat and shifts to get comfortable. As he does, he senses something that makes him look over his shoulder, just in time to catch the flutter of a curtain closing from one of the living rooms with floor-to-ceiling windows that face the backyard.

He turns back to the guitar.

Shawn heads inside around dinner time. He can feel the heat settling in his shoulders and the bridge of skin across his nose and he knows he should’ve been wearing sunscreen. He also knows that nine months ago, Lilly would’ve ripped him a new one if he came back to her sunburnt, so he’s a little masochistically curious to see her reaction.

She’s in the kitchen again, almost exactly where he left her. Her hair is piled up in a bun that’s been picked at and hastily rebuilt all day. At some point she changed into a new pair of leggings and a workout tank. She looks like an Instagram ad for trendy healthy living in this kitchen. He allows himself half a smile.

He props the guitar up against the window seat and edges toward her like she’s a feral cat. Her eyes lift from the wide blonde-wooded butcher’s block that lives beside the sink. They narrow almost imperceptibly at the sight of him, all red and sweaty, he’s sure, and then drop back down to the box of Kraft mac and cheese she’s pouring into a boiling pot.

He’s gonna live on that look for days.

“Hey,” he grunts, realizing his voice is a little hoarse from abusing it all day, “How was your day?”

Shawn really hasn’t been inside at all. Or eaten basically anything. Or had any water. Unfortunately that’s not off-brand for him lately. But it means he hasn’t seen her since 9am.

He missed her.

She lifts and drops a shoulder, stirring the noodles so they don’t clump like he always used to forget to do. “It was fine.”

Shawn waits. She doesn’t owe him any more, but he hopes for it anyway.

She glances up at him. “Do you want half of this?”

He swears his growling empty stomach flops down onto his shoes. A combination of misplaced politeness and knee-jerk negative reaction to dairy drilled into him by Cez and Jocelyne have him shaking his head before he can think about it.

“That’s ok, I shouldn’t.”

Lilly snorts and Shawn goes stiff.

“Oh shut up and just take it.”

His chest deflates as he blinks, startled. He nods and nearly stumbles up to the bar to sit while she prepares it.

It takes him a strangely long time to notice that she’s playing music on her phone. He tilts his head and identifies it as a deep cut from Heavier Things by John Mayer. He wonders if he goes a little pinker.

She adds extra butter and shredded cheddar to the macaroni. He tries not to consider what eating this much shitty processed cheese for the first time in months will do to his body. He’s grateful that his bathroom is a whole house away from hers.

Lilly prepares their bowls in silence, holding up her trusty Old Bay seasoning as an offering that he politely refuses with a timid smile. If he’s not delusional from low blood sugar and dehydration, she smiles a little bit too.

Lilly rounds the counter to sit beside him at the bar. The whole right side of his body tingles in response to her closeness. His heart rate lifts, his fingers reach for his spoon to stir faster, needing something to do. And then just before she sits, her phone rings.

She checks the caller and looks up at him semi-apologetically.

“Sorry, it’s my mom.”

Lilly wanders away, phone to her ear, bowl in her hand.

Shawn drags his spoon through the cheese sauce she got so remarkably smooth. He eats every bite. It might be the best mac and cheese he’s ever had.

The master bedroom is located at the end of a long hallway that creaks and crackles charmingly with the age of the house. Shawn doesn’t really notice it when he’s walking from one end of it to the other, but he does when it’s her.

He’s feeling sorry for himself, his new not-favorite pastime, staring at his phone in partial darkness in the wide open sitting room adjacent to his bedroom. The sun set ten minutes ago, the world outside is blue. The white carpet below his bare, dirty feet is kind of blue too. His guitar sits in the corner, shunned and untouched.

The footsteps feel like a phantom sensation at first, but he doesn’t have long enough to think about it before she walks around the corner into the room. She doesn’t hesitate, she doesn’t slow down.

She’s in a heavy oversized sweater and sleep shorts holding a bottle of red and two glasses. She lifts an eyebrow and shrugs. Shawn wants to cry.

He nods at her and sits up, hoping he looks more welcoming than despondent. He tries a smile. She chuckles and sits at his feet, cross-legged, and opens the screw top bottle.

“Please stop looking at me like I might slap you at any moment.”

Shawn clicks his tongue nervously. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

She ignores his comment and passes up his glass by the stem. He’s careful to take it by the bowl despite how badly he wants to touch her fingers. She sits back with her own and looks up at him steadily for the first time since she got here.

“Cheers. We’re lucky. Really lucky.”

Shawn matches the way she raises her glass, then he drinks, raking a hand through his sticky hair.

She’s right, of course. He realizes he hasn’t thought about it much since he got back to LA. Getting to her and then getting her safe was his singular focus, which as he thinks about it now, is extraordinary privilege. He feels gross all of a sudden for how little consideration he’s given everything, everyone else.

Another failing to choke down.

“Are you ok?”

Shawn blinks. He looks down at her. She’s staring up at him, head tilted like a cocker spaniel, glass sitting between her fingers. He looks at them instead of her face.

“Yeah. Just tired.”

Another lie to choke down.

Lilly takes a big sip. “You look like you’re doing the self-flagellation thing.”

“What self-flagellation thing?”

He doesn’t know if it’s more bullishness or true curiosity driving him to ask.

“You’ve got this look on your face like you’re recreating the “Stitches” video in your own head.”

It startles him into laughing. She doesn’t laugh with him.

“I don’t know. I feel like I should be ok. I don’t have a reason not to be.”

She seems to consider him for a few moments. She takes another sip. Shawn looks down. His glass is empty. Lilly notices and refills it.

“Not like I do, you mean?”

That feeling in Shawn’s chest that first showed up when he confronted her at her house is back. It’s like a tiny pebble is clogging an artery, or something. Everything feels a little stuck and he’s not even mad because he probably deserves it.

He exhales a shaky breath and brings his hand through his hair again. “I dunno.”

This second wishy-washy answer isn’t what she wanted. She hardens. “I want you to know, I want you to understand that I was fine. I am fine. I do appreciate the rescue but I didn’t need… closure.”

The pebble fucking grows.

“Closure?” he nearly chokes.

“That feels like the only sane reason you insisted on coming to see me.”

It’s pointed. Her pretty gunmetal blue eyes are solid. Her lips have gone tight around the corners. It’s a clear warning.

His eyes drift shut in a heavy blink. He takes another sip.

“I feel like… for as often as I’ve thought about talking to you about this, I should know what I want to say. But I still don’t.”

Lilly sighs and drains her glass, refilling it. “Keep drinking, you’ll figure it out.”

Shawn looks down at his and finishes it. Lilly refills it.

He studies the way her legs fold beneath her, and the white casts of stretch marks visible against her inner thighs, the ones he used to trace with his tongue, nose, fingers. He recognizes the sweater she’s wearing. It’s so big it pools around her wrists even where she’s rolled it up. She got it in college at Goodwill for $5. It used to be her favorite piece of clothing. He wonders if it’s been replaced.

With a lurch of his already sensitive stomach, he wonders if he has, too.

“Have you dated anyone?”

Her nose wrinkles distastefully and he sees the misstep he’s made too late, like a pile of dogshit.

“Seriously?”

“Sorry, sorry. Fuck. You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s not my business.”

She raises her eyes to the ceiling and shakes her head. He feels thoroughly chastised. He thinks maybe she’ll just get up and walk away. He dreads that and craves the punishment of it in equal measure.

“It’s not that.”

His brow furrows. She can still surprise him.

“What is it?” he whispers.

Her nose twitches. “I just… I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want anyone else.”

He goes so warm all over, a sensation he distantly remembers but is sure he doesn’t deserve.

After a moment, Shawn climbs down from his chair and takes the bottle, filling his glass. He sits in front of her. It’s not six feet away, it’s not even close. He’ll move if she asks.

“I thought I had to know why. It was the thing that had me a heartbeat away from calling you a dozen times. I thought if you could just tell me why you loved her more, I could get over it faster,” she muses.

Shawn holds his breath while she speaks to her dwindling glass.

“But more than that I wanted to hold onto my pride. I wanted my last words to you to be those, what I said before you left that night. That won, I guess.”

She’s quiet for almost a minute.

“Do you remember what I said?” she asks.

He says “yes” quietly and doesn’t add that those moments are seared indelibly in his memory -- her face, her breath, her tone, every word exactly as she delivered them. It’s the stuff of his regular nightmares.

She huffs and smiles, but it’s dark. “It didn’t even work. I never got to hate you, even as badly as I wanted to. I think I’ve loved you too much to ever hate you.”

Shawn’s head feels light from the booze and the lack of oxygen he’s allowing it from refusing to breathe.

“I thought it was a curse, maybe. Especially because for a while I couldn’t even look at pictures of you with her. I’d get all panicked and distracted, even in public. But lately, like in the last… I dunno, three months? It got a lot easier. I don’t know why. There never seemed to be a trigger for healing, but it felt like it started finally after waiting around for it forever. And now we’re here and I don’t know what kind of mark this will leave.”

She’s speaking easily, matter-of-factly, but he thinks he knows her well enough to feel what’s beneath it. He could always tell exactly how she was feeling, even when she didn’t want him to.

Shawn clears his throat twice before attempting to speak, but his voice still sounds broken and shredded. “There was so much I wanted to say to you after I left. But… the biggest thing, the thing that bothered me the most, the part I fucking hated, is that you wondered if I felt like I was settling with you, that I was waiting around for her consciously when I was with you. I… I never felt that way. I wanted you. I was so crazy about you. I really fucking loved you.”

The past tense hurts to say out loud, like he’s spitting glass. Lying to her disgusts him, but he thinks it’s the first unselfish thing he’s done in months. She doesn’t want to hear that he still loves her. Even if he thinks he always will. It’s not the time. So he swallows it.

She looks interested, convinced maybe. She finishes her glass and pours herself more, topping up his glass with the rest of the bottle.

“I had myself convinced I didn’t need to hear that.”

A flare of unfamiliar pride glimmers in his chest. He did something good. He said something that helped. Maybe he’s not as miserable a bastard as he thought.

“It’s true,” he assures her, feeling bleary from the wine but absolutely certain.

“I think I knew,” she admits, stretching out her legs so her feet sit beside him. He forces himself not to look at her soft, shapely thighs, “Because… it was really good for a while.”

But she’s always surprising him. Out of seemingly nowhere, Lilly’s chin wobbles. She claps a hand over her mouth to cover a harsh, sobbing inhale. Shawn’s blood runs cold.

“Lilly,” he breathes, blinking quickly, “Lilly, I’m so sorry.”

Her eyes go sort of green when she cries. Shawn hates that he knows that. He wishes he knew everything about her but that.

Without thinking, without breathing, without another word, Shawn leans forward and gets as far as brushing his lips across hers before she springs back and stares at him like he’s just screamed in her face.

“What the fuck?”

“Oh god,” Shawn spews, “Oh god, fuck, I’m sorry. Oh fuck, I’m so sorry. Lil, fuck, shit, I didn’t-- oh god--”

As he garbles his way through apologies, Lilly leaps to her feet and leaves without another word. Shawn lurches in her direction like he wants to catch her but doesn’t fully commit. He hears himself continuing to mumble hopelessly until her quick footsteps are too far away to hear the creaking protests of the old house.

Shawn lets his body drop to the carpet beside the empty wine bottle. He releases a shaky breath and lifts the heels of his hands to his eyes, pressing in when the tears come. He doesn’t know why he’s crying. He shouldn’t be allowed. He should be forced to keep this feeling bottled up, to live with it -- live with knowing he made her uncomfortable. He forced himself on her. He kissed her when she didn’t want him to. There should be no relief from that.

But it only makes him cry harder.

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I can only hope you’ve been inundated with these links the last few days, but just in case you haven’t, here they are. Please visit them and give what you can, be it time, consideration, or money. Let’s affect some fucking change, shall we?

Minnesota Freedom Fund

George Floyd’s Family’s GoFundMe

Color of Change Petition

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aweebwrites · 3 years

Text

Cost of the Crown

I had this random idea just now while writing Move on Dragons ch 31 and like, ofc it’s Glacier because I have no self control. I most likely won’t end up writing it sadly, but here’s what I got:

Warning: blood, very light gore (it’s not described but implied) and character death.

Zane is the ruler of the pristine yet frozen kingdom in the far north. He still has his elemental powers which is the reason he’s ruling there to begin with. He keeps his kingdom protected from the outside forces of other kingdoms who lust for his empire for it’s wealth in minerals- gold, diamonds, emeralds, you name it. His empire is considered a blessed one because of the abundance, almost never ending supply of those precious minerals. Trade just isn’t enough for those kingdoms, and so, he closes his boarders to every kingdom, save for the south kingdom ruled by twins of fire and water (Nya and Kai obvs).

Background aside, Cole was born and raised in Zane’s empire, growing up to admire the frosty Emperor since he too, was young. (Elementals are immortals here I forgot to say. They’re relatively new here though, so Zane’s only like, 2 or 3 years older than Cole) Since his father and mother worked in the castle (his father is a bard of the Emperor, former and present while Lilly is one of Zane’s guards), he had plenty of opportunities to interact with Zane, so they’re childhood friends. Zane often shared his troubles and fears about becoming an emperor with him and Cole is always quick to tell him he’d do fine and that he’d become the strongest soldier so he could always be by his side to protect him. Naturally, as they grew up, their feelings of friendship became deeper.

Cole’s mother and the old emperor died in an ambush while making their way to the southern kingdom for a ceremony they were invited to. Zane blamed himself for that, for not being there to protect them with his powers but naturally, Cole wouldn’t have that. Zane soon after gets crowned as the Emperor at roughly 14 and they hadn’t gotten to spend much time together after that. He was busy ruling his kingdom and Cole was busy fighting his way up the ranks.

So 6 full years passed without Zane seeing Cole even once while Cole had been watching him become a benevolent but lonesome ruler, defending the kingdom with just a few movements of his hands. Finally, Cole was appointed as Zane’s main guard. This caught Zane by surprise naturally, but in a good way. They got even closer than before in a matter of hours and Cole wormed his way back to his side always. He’s often the cause of Zane’s smiles. Their feelings grew even more and one night while bidding Zane to sleep, Cole took the plunge and kissed him. Before Cole could make a run for it afterwards like he planned, Zane just drags him into his room and ordered for them not to be disturbed. You can guess what happens there.

So they start courting from there. Everything’s going fine and dandy for a few years- and Cole even proposes- but things go wrong when a direct attack was launched at the kingdom, a few other smaller kingdoms coming together to take the ice kingdom down, using fireballs to melt through its packed ice walls and boulders to break through the stone walls beneath. Considering that they had no elementals in their league, they were easy to take down, but their numbers meant that they managed to get into the Kingdom and managed to even kill a few people. The one who organized it all (leaning towards Chen) only used them as a means to an end, to get inside the kingdom. And while Zane was busy weaving his elemental powers to drive back the forces, with Cole taking care of anyone who got too close, he managed to get in close. Cole did spot him and tried to apprehend him, but he managed to sling his vengestone Kusari-fundo around Zane’s neck before he was taken down.

Now, in this, Vengestone doesn’t just take away an elemental’s power while in contact with them. It also weakens them drastically, like kryptonite to superman. It’s a relatively light chain but to Zane’ it was as unmoving as rock and he collapses with it. He couldn’t pull it off for the life of him. Cole knows about Vengestone, knows that it’s only available in two places. This very kingdom, deep in the mines... Or in the southern Kingdom, their supposed allies. He doesn’t have time to think about it though. He needed to take care of this guy and get those chains off Zane. He and Chen fight while Zane struggles with the chains still, Chen’s forces making a comeback and preventing any of Zane’s soldiers from coming through. Chen’s tough and he plays dirty, throwing ground pepper in Cole’s eyes to blind him. Cole knew if Chen manages to get to Zane’s he’d kill him, and he wasn’t about to let that happen. Even though he’s blinded, he fights still, somehow managing to predict where Chen is, until he can somehow see where he was standing, see the shift in his stance as ripples through the ground (yes, like Toph) and he’s starting to win. Chen isn’t pleased with this at all. Unfortunately for him, Cole is not only strong, but he’s been training for years to protect Zane. Cole stabs him in the chest with his sword and lets him fall back off the edge of the high wall.

He finally gets to Zane, not even realizing that his strange sense of sight vanished once he touched the chains, nor that he felt weaker. He yanks them off and helps Zane up as he fuses over his swollen eyes. Zane suddenly makes a surprised sound as he senses something coming at them at high speed then shifts them. An arrow he could make out- but Cole refused to let him take any for him and quickly whirls the other way still, holding him to his body tightly with eyes squeezed shut. He was waiting to feel it pierce him... but it never happened. Turns out, not only did Zane’s ice act on its own to protect them... so did the stone wall below the ice, shooting up and combining with the ice to protect them both, forming something that looked suspiciously like... Diamond.

Zane’s the one to put it together, seeing him battle Chen while being blinded as if he could see... And now this? Cole... Cole was like him, an elemental. Before he could share the news however, he spots someone behind Cole- and Chen stabs Cole in the back with his own sword, the same sword stabbing through Zane’s shoulder. All Zane could hear was his own heartbeat, the pain of having his shoulder pierced not reaching him at all. In a fit of rage, he impales Chen on an ice spike from below, splitting him open and pulling the sword out in the process. Zane clings to Cole tighter, whispering no over and over again, using his ice to try and patch the wound, to prevent him from bleeding out, but he could only do son on the surface, the inside bleeding out still. Zane’s sobbing, knowing Cole was dying right before his eyes and he could do nothing whatsoever about it. Cole just hushes him with blood running down his chin and tells him that he’ll be fine, he can go on, that he had to, to keep protecting the people. He manages a kiss to his forehead and tells him that he loves him, that the afterlife won’t stop that. And then he collapses in Zane’s arms, his weight forcing Zane to lay him down. Zane’s frantic all over again, checking to see if he was breathing- but no, he wasn’t.

He just... Stares down at him in disbelief because just this morning, everything was perfect, they had woken up in bed together, had cuddled and talked and laughed and loved... And now... Now... Zane started glowing, gritting his teeth as rage and grief swallowed him, the force of his powers intensifying, wrapping around him, gathering, growing. The sight paused the war below that was still raging, everyone looking up as he floated upwards, ice and snow whirling around him. He screamed then and a roar came, swallowing it as a massive dragon of pure ice and cold was birthed behind him, taking his rage and grief as its own and descending on the war, blasting razor sharp shards of ice and hail, killing and rampaging. But the dragon wouldn’t touch those of the kingdom, its deadly force turning to but simple snow on contact with those who were of his kingdom while those who had come to rage war were mercilessly slaughtered. Zane collapsed then, gripping Cole to him as he sobs.

Life does go on however. Cole’s funeral was a grand one the entire kingdom attended. They all knew the light in their Emperor’s eyes would never return. The dragon born of his powers remained, patrolling the kingdom and the areas outside it, unwilling to be caught off guard again. It was now know as the Emperor’s pet, his steed. They could always tell when the Emperor would mourn his lost love as the dragon too would mourn, small diamonds falling from its eyes as it flew over head. Trade with the Southern Kingdom was abruptly cut off, making the kingdom truly isolated. The South had tried to get in contact with him but any one not from the kingdom was quickly chased off by the icy dragon.

Finally, Nya and Kai decided to visit themselves in person, refusing to leave until Zane talked with them. Kai’s fire was enough to keep the icy dragon at bay and Zane reluctantly went to see them- outside of the kingdom gates. They swore on each other’s lives immediately that they hadn’t been trading vengestone, and to enter the mines were it was located was strictly forbidden and that it was guarded 24/7. But they did admit to having a bit of a rat problem, aka Chen who apparently managed to get into the mines and get enough to make the chain. That made Zane believe them even less. How did they know all of that? They weren’t there to know that he had a chain slung to his neck? He asked them that, ready to attack if he must as his dragon (you now what? Borealis) stared them down from his perch on the high walls surrounding the kingdom. Nya and Kai shared a look before they stepped aside so Zane could see the carriage they came in.

He stares confused as the door opened- before his breath leaves him all at once to see Cole step out. He takes a step back, disbelieving. Cole was dead, he saw it with his own two eyes. He wanted to rage, to demand to know what trick this was but found himself unable to even breathe. Borealis swooped down with a low growl in his defense, wings spread wide, but Cole walked forward still, stopping before the large dragon before holding a hand up. That made Borealis pause before hesitantly lowering its head, sniffing at his palm. To Zane’s surprise, Borealis pressed its snout against his palm with a low rumble. What- what magic was this? Cole continued forward again and Borealis let him, watching as he walked past Kai and Nya before standing right before Zane himself. Zane opened his mouth to say something- anything, but the warmth in those bicoloured eyes he had loves, still loved so much made it impossible. Could it... Could it really... Cole spoke then, telling him he missed him as he cupped his cheek tenderly, and the warmth of his hand, the work hardened roughness of it was exactly like he remembered. Who wouldn’t cry at that? Cole just hushed him and pulled him into his arms, letting him cling to him and sob his heart out.

He does explain. He really had died... though he wasn’t sure if dead was the best thig to call it. It was like he was asleep, only partially aware as his body recovered. Being buried made it faster somehow, until his heart started beating again and he was able to wake up fully. The ground opened up for him to let him go and while he wanted to run into Zane’s arms, he needed answers about that war. So he left the kingdom, had visited the others that teamed up against him and finally, the south. What he gathered was that Chen was Nya and Kai’s parents’ advisor and close friend. Unlike Zane who was given the title of Emperor because of his power, Nya and Kai were of royal blood, next in line to rule. Chen had murdered their parents and managed to rule for only a year before Nya and Kai discovered their powers in self defense against him wanting to be rid of them too. He was banished but he took some of the vengestone in his time ruling and had continued with his plan to rule all of the kingdoms, planning on getting to their kingdom last. So he built followers, an army, until he convinced a hand full of small kingdoms to give him their army and he’d let them gorge themselves in the icy kingdom’s wealth. Once he discovered the truth, he insisted that Nya and Kai personally explain themselves or else Zane would never believe them.

He showed Zane proof that he was the very same Cole he watched die through the scar he retained from the fatal injury, and had told Zane just how proud he was that he kept going. Zane had angrily but choked up had told him not to ever do that again (leave him that is) and had kissed him as if he was his last breath of air.

Ye daz it. This is literally my thought process while writing fics- literally nothing was edited. So yeah, my random idea posts will look like this. Thanks for reading my brain barf! Back to MoD I go!

#aweebwrites' work #aweebwrites rambles #aweebwrites fic ideas

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i-write-about-anything · 5 years

Text

Stood Up Part 2

Requested: hey, I was wondering you could write a stile stilinski fic where 5 years earlier he leaves the reader at the altar and comes back five years later and turns out they have a kid

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Part 1

Third Person POV

Standing on (y/n)’s porch Stiles couldn’t help rock on his heels, his eyes meeting hers for the first time in five years. He hadn’t felt too bad for leaving her at the altar, in fact he hadn’t felt too bad until learning of his daughter. His fiancé giving him hell for the past three days. Stiles’ eyes shifted down to their intertwined hands. “How long has this been going on?” Stiles huffed before running his hand over his mouth, he had no right to be angry, but Scott had been his best friend for years and the betrayal Stiles felt was running through his veins. Scott rolled his eyes, his hand moving away from hers, she instantly felt the calmness in her disappear.

“You don’t get to ask the questions Stiles.” Her voice wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t low either. She was going to stand her ground and if she cried, she knew Scott was there to calm her down. She moved aside, Scott following her before she nodded towards her kitchen causing Stiles to roll his eyes, his hands moving out of his pockets as he made his way towards the couch. He sat in the middle of the three-seater couch as her and Scott sat in the loveseat couch, their arms touching but neither of them making an effort to move away from each other. Stiles looked at the coffee table, photos of his daughter surrounding it, he quickly took a picture frame into his hands, his eyes focusing on his daughter. “She looks just like you, I know.” Her voice was steady, for now.

“Why didn’t you tell me about her?” Stiles looked up from the picture to (y/n) who huffed out, her lips forming a sarcastic smile.

“Why did you leave me?” She retreated, not bothering to answer any of his questions, he had no right to be asking questions about her, not after he left her. “Why did you just run, you could have talked to me, you could have told me you didn’t want to marry me, you could’ve been a man about it.” Scott’s hand moved to her back, his index finger rubbing small circles on her lower back, he was trying to keep her at bay.

“I just felt like we were rushing into it.” He shrugged before his eyes looked to his lap before his hands connected with each other, his thumbs going in circles around each other,

“Rushing into it?” She laughed, throwing her head back. “We dated for six fucking years Stiles. Six.” Her lips closed into a thin line. “If you didn’t want to rush into things you should have proposed, you shouldn’t have planned a whole wedding with me. You left me at the altar. Do you know how hard it was for me? I ended up at the hospital that night after passing out from crying and hyperventilating over you.” She hissed out of her mouth. “That’s when I found out about her. The first couple of months were hard for me, not only did I have to live with the pain that you caused but I had to live with a baby growing inside of me. If it wasn’t for Lydia, Malia and Scott I don’t think she would have been born.” Scott’s finger had stopped moving, the small remark making his heart stop. “I hate you so much. You didn’t even give me a god damn explanation, you just fucking left me, you’re a coward. How long have you known your ‘Fiancé’?” Her fingers making the air quotes.

“Two years.” He answered honestly, gulping before looking at her. He hadn’t really paid attention to her until now, her face was a lot thinner than the last time he saw her.

“Yet you’re not rushing that, are you?” She huffed turning to Scott who gave her a small smile, he was proud of her, she could be a hot head but she was doing good so far.

“I was twenty, I had only ever been with you. I wanted to explore alright, I wanted to live my life before being tied down to the first girlfriend I ever had.” It was a big blow to (y/n), sure it had been five years and she was over Stiles but hearing that only made her heart break once more. Stiles noticed, sighing before rolling his hands into fists. “I only realized that the day of, I loved you, I did, I just couldn’t let myself be with you for the rest of my life, not without knowing what else was out there.”

“Fuck you.” (Y/N) spat causing Scott’s hand to rest on her knee. “I had only been with you my entire life and I was prepared to live the rest of my life with you. I loved you Stiles, I would have done everything for you.” Tears built in her eyes, she promised herself she wasn’t going to cry but it was hard when her heart was breaking all over again. “Fuck you, you weren’t ready to be tied down to me, the girl you’ve had known for most of your life but you’re ready now that you’ve only known the girl for two years.” She shook her head.

“Look, I love her alright, she changed me for the better. Just because I wasn’t ready to be with you doesn’t mean I'm not ready to be with her for the rest of my life. She’s carrying my child, she’s my future.” His hand messed with his chin.

“Yeah and (y/n) was carrying your child too but where were you then?” Scott’s voice rose, shocking both (y/n) and Stiles. Turns out, he wasn’t done letting his anger out. Stiles looked at his former best friend, eyebrows scrunching together. “You fucked up Stiles.” Scott’s eyes looked at (y/n), her eyes looking at her lap as she tried her best not to cry.

“I used to think I couldn’t live my life without you Stiles, and for the first couple months I believed I couldn’t. You left me, alone and pregnant, but I guess I should thank you for Lilly, because without her, my life would mean nothing.” Her voice was low, too low for Scott’s liking.

“I want to meet her.” Stiles whispered.

“No.” (Y/N) whispered back, her nails digging into the palm of her hands, she’d been trying to stay calm but her anger was wearing thin.

“She’s my daughter, I have rights.” Stiles looked at (y/n), he didn’t know how he once loved her so damn much, she was stubborn as hell and he was blinded by love to see how toxic she was for him, at least, that’s what he thought.

“You have no right. Your name isn’t on the birth certificate, you’re not her father, not legally, and not emotionally. You’re not meeting MY daughter.” Her voice rose when she claimed her daughter.

“But I am biologically, aren’t I?” He asked, leaning forward, his forearms on his thighs.

“Fuck you, you haven’t been her father for five years, you’re not about to start either.” (Y/N) stood up, turning her back on Stiles and Scott. “I need you to go, I don’t ever want to see you again, leave Beacon Hills again, for all I care. Me and Lilly were fine without you and we will continue to be fine without you.” Stiles stood up, his feet moving quickly to move towards her, his chest too close to her back.

“You kept her from me, even had my dad hide her from me, you don’t think I'm actually going to let you keep her from me now, do you?” His voice was a whisper that traveled through her right ear, Scott standing almost immediately when he saw (y/n) push Stiles away from her.

“She’s my fucking daughter. I gave birth to her, I raised her, I did everything for her without your fucking help, you don’t get to come back and think I'm going to worship the floor you walk on.” Her voice was high, Scott’s arm holding her back by the waist. “I gave you everything I had.” She sobbed, her body leaning against Scott’s. “And you fucking left me on the day that was supposed to be the best day of my life. You didn’t even bother to call and say sorry.” She sobbed once more, Scott’s eyes closing as he sighed, this is what she needed, she needed to get all her feelings out but it was getting hard for him to see her so torn once more. “You didn’t even say goodbye.” Her voice cracked causing Scott to turn her around, shoving her face against his chest as she clung to his shirt. Scott’s eyes met Stiles’, sadness filled Scott’s eyes as Stiles held nothing, no emotion.

“I think you should go.” Scott spoke, his voice was low, scared that the crying girl in his arms was going to break even further.

“This doesn’t concern you.” Stiles spoke, his arms crossing over his chest. “In fact, I remember you being the one to tell me to back out, you encouraged me to walk away from her so many times, now I see why, you’re in love with her.” Stiles’ jaw clenched, he didn’t love (y/n), not anymore but the fact that his best friend had been in love with her the entire time he had been with her angered him somehow.

“Of course, I am, I'd be a dumbass not to be in love with her.” Scott admitted. “Go Stiles, don’t come back.” A jingle of keys made their eyes snap to the door, Lydia’s voice traveling into the home as she opened the house, her hand connected with the small girl everyone had just been talking about.

“So, remember, look both ways, always.” Lydia spoke closing the door behind her, she hadn’t seen the three bodies standing in the living room.

“Oh, fuck.” Stiles whispered out as his eyes connected to Lilly, she hadn’t seen him, all she saw was her mother and Scott.

“Uncle Scott!” She yelled before running to Scott, her arms wrapping around him before she looked at her mother, tears running down her face as her face paled. Stiles watching as Lilly pouted, the same pout he used to do. He was mesmerized. “Mommy, why are you crying?” Her voice was sad, tears already forming in her own eyes, she hated to see her mother upset. Stiles gulped, moving to the side to see her face just a bit more, bumping into the coffee table before dropping some picture frames on the floor catching Lilly’s attention. Her eyes met his, their identical brown eyes meeting for the first time. “Who are you?” Her voice spoke as her hands went up to catch Scott’s and her mothers.

_____

Story tags; @anyasthoughts @iclosetgeek @chipster-21

forever tags; @bojabee @imperfect-circle @dakotapaigelove @a-gir1-has-n0-name @riverdalehoeeeeeee @sabertooth-potato @heyitscam99 @peterstarksstarker @royal-fanfic @vixengustin88

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caspian-skye · 4 years

Text

The Apoptosis Project Ch.8, Making a Statement

“Twenty-five years after Salem's defeat, twins Caspian and Lazula Skye are finally of age to attend their father's academy; just in time for the Creatures of Grimm to return. While fighting the revived horror alongside Frontline Biomedical's controversial Organic Androids, they begin to unravel a web of secrets ensnaring more than they could have ever known.”

"Okay, let's go ahead and get started for the day!" Professor Corvis-Braun began eagerly. Caspian looked to the lecture hall's stage, where Lilly's mother peeked over the podium. Whenever Caspian had seen the diminutive, feathery-haired woman in the past, she wore some stylish mixture of cardigan, blazer, skirt, sweater, vest, and tights. Her outfit never strayed away from moody hues of black, white, midnight blue, and silver. Apparently, her work attire was no exception.

"Welcome to your first day of Interspecies History!" the professor announced. A pair of dark eyes flicked to the full rows of long, rounded tables forming eight half-circles up to the back of the room. "I'm Professor Corvis-Braun, but you can call me Professor Corvis if it's easier. Or Professor Braun, I love my husband. This class has the reputation of being a bit dry, especially at a school that teaches Grimm Studies and Practical Weapons Training. But! It's important. Plus, every year I've had a handful of students that really take to this class, so that might end up being you!" She took a sip from her water before continuing. "This is a special year for me, because my own daughter happens to be in this room! I won't call her out, but-"

Lilly smiled and turned, waving to the rows behind her.

"Oh! Well then, that's her," Professor Corvis confirmed above a chorus of laughter and "aww"-s. "Anyway, though faunus are equal in law now, and a big city like this sees very little overt racism, we're living in quite an important time right now. Can anyone tell me why this class has become so relevant?"

After several seconds, she pointed to a hand toward the back of the room.

"The Red Claw?"

Professor Corvis-Braun pulled back a bit in surprise. "Yes! I mean, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but that's an important issue we'll cover in depth starting next week. Any other answers? Good answer, by the way."

At the furthest section of the room, a few rows back, Noxis raised his hand. Professor Corvis called on him.

"I wouldn't count them as a species," Noxis began, leaning back in his chair. "But are you talking about Organds?"

By the end of his first lecture at Sentinel, Caspian's wrist burned from writing, and his stomach was empty. The beginning of class saw a quick, broad overview of course content, which eventually shifted into administrative and logistic details of the class. Professor Corvis finished with a minute to spare, just as the zipping and shuffling of all the backpacks in the room began to drown her out.

Caspian clutched his stomach. "Man, I'm hungry. After Grimm Studies, you guys wanna meet at The Roots?"

"I'm down. I'll ask Ichigo," Rowan agreed.

"I suppose I'll stop by for a bit," Lilly said. "I'm meeting a new friend later this afternoon, though."

Unease crept into Caspian's mind. A new friend...

"Want to come to The Roots after next class?" Caspian typed into his Holoband. He looked across the room.

Noxis flashed his Holoband's screen, looking at it for a few seconds. He shut it off, slung his bag over a shoulder, and made his way out the door.

As Cedar Hall, Sentinel's first-year dormitory building, was built into the side of the steep hill holding the academy above the bay, The Roots Cafe was below ground level on one side, but well above the street on the other. One wall was almost entirely windows, revealing the impressive view from shopping center to the North, to the flat tract of land across the street that held the SFC, sports fields and sparring courts to the South. Looming furthest away, against a backdrop of skyscrapers and sea, was Sentinel Stadium.

The Roots itself was quite cozy, Caspian thought. The side furthest from the windows was a winding maze of counters and kiosks. It got fairly busy at dinner, but the food seemed decent so far, a selection from all over Remnant. Toward the windows, comfortable booths and tables in many shades of brown found space among gently curving half-walls and wooden pillars. At each end of the cafeteria was a near-abstract mural of huntsmen and Grimm.

The day after initiation, Rowan found a round table nestled in a half-circle alcove facing the window. Every meal since, he had refused to sit anywhere else.

"The flesh of Frontline Biomedical Technology's Organic Androids is created from human stem cells. The 'organic components,' as they are called, are mounted onto a titanium alloy and carbon-fiber frame, making Organic Androids nearly indistinguishable from humans," Caspian read. "Though they look much like us, what would be their brain is actually called a 'Brain-Core System.' The 'core,' in the android's chest, handles power and low-level internal functioning. The 'brain,' in the android's head, allows for higher-level processing. However, it should be noted both brain and core are incapable of thought and emotion."

Caspian looked up to Lilly expectantly.

"I see..." she pondered. "I think you do a wonderful job of setting up the issue, and differentiating between Organd and human. However, I fail to see the main point of your paper. I believe it would be helpful if you transitioned into your main point from what you have now." She looked to him. "Do you have any ideas?"

Caspian pursed his lips. "Hmm... I guess, I'll talk about how people generally respect Frontline because of its medical advancements, but there's a lot of distrust toward Organds." He looked up from his screen. "People don't like things that look so human and... aren't."

"Why'd your mom have to go and assign a paper on the first day of class?" Rowan complained. "Always seemed like a nice lady, but that's just cruel."

Lilly's lips drew up in a muted smile of amusement. "It's only two to three pages, and is worth a very small portion of your grade," she reminded. "This is more a measure of your starting point than anything. Have you started?"

"It's due Monday, right?"

"Yes."

"Nope. I think I'll start Saturday. Maybe Sunday," Rowan responded. He tore into his sandwich.

"I think I'll distinguish between combat models and companion models too, because their internal coding and ability to fight is different enough to note," Caspian commented, leaning into his laptop. He struggled to type a few words with his left hand, his right still wrapped up in a sling. "Writing an essay is hard enough with two functional hands."

"What about third gen Organds?" Ichigo inquired.

"They're not out yet. I might mention them, but I don't think I know enough to say much about them..."

Rowan raised a finger, gulping down an ambitious bite of his lunch. "You hear that the third gen ones are gonna be able to eat? Isn't that weird?"

"They can't digest though, what happens to the food?" Ichigo questioned.

"Damn, good question," Rowan admitted. He flicked on his Holoband, typing up a search.

"We're eating," Lilly reminded. "Perhaps we should leave this question for later?"

"...So who's the new friend, Lilly?" Caspian asked, attempting to pass off his budding jealousy as innocent curiosity.

Lilly smiled gently. "Her name is Aspen. She's a second-year, we happened to run into each other when I was exploring the campus libraries."

Good. A girl.

Lilly looked down to her Holoband in surprise, and switched it on. "Oh, that's her right now!" she announced. She dabbed at her lips with a napkin, and shuffled across the half-circle booth until she was free of the table.

"I'll see you later!" Caspian bid with a grin.

Lilly waved, and was on her way.

"Y'know, one of these days it won't be a girl!" Rowan chided.

Caspian balled a napkin in his fist. "I know..."

"When are you gonna make your move? Sentinel's full of dudes. I'm just trying to help you along! You've got that 'childhood friend' thing going for you, but-"

"Can we please talk about anything else?"

Sentinel's dorms were a rough transition for Lazula. She had grown so used to her plush bed, giant bathtub in a bathroom with marble floor and golden faucets, and gourmet food whenever she liked. Now in the land of shared showers, standard-issue mattresses, and long lines in The Roots, at least getting up for her morning routine was easier.

Only a few days in, Lazula fell into her routine. Every morning, she would wake exactly at six. She would grab a healthy bite, and run the trail around Sentinel's campus. The loop was almost exactly two miles, so would take eleven or twelve minutes. Then to the Student Fitness Center right as it opened, when no one was around to gawk at her, or the weight she put on bar and machine alike. She would be back before nine to shower and take a second breakfast, making it just in time for her first class.

Classes had just concluded for the day, so the SFC was a bit more crowded than usual. Lazula walked up to the front desk, nodding to the attendant as she neared.

"Where can I find the Sparring Team?" she asked. "I heard there's a meeting here today."

"Oh, that would be..." the student at the front desk began. He keyed a search into the computer. "Room 202. Right up those stairs, first court on the left."

"Thanks." Raising her wrist up to the sensor, her Holoband pulsed once with vibration, and the hard-light door allowed her through. She went to the locker room first, donning her combat attire in its entirety before continuing onto room 202.

"As is the case every year, let's start by talking recruitment," a young man's voice declared from behind the door. Strong, but friendly. Lazula had heard the voice before. "Cole is already working on designing flyers, and I'd like to start handing them out in front of the library starting next week. I'll also ask the Headmaster if-"

The door shut loudly behind Lazula, drawing everyone's eyes to her. One hand rested on Impetus's hilt as Lazula locked eyes with the man, cocking her head back ever slightly.

"I challenge you to a duel."

He cracked a grin. The same impossibly white, straight-toothed smile that decorated Sentinel's promotional material, and advertisements for countless brands having nothing to do with huntsmen. His hair was styled just as neat as the pictures, a close shave on the sides and back of his head, with hair in front and top swept to the side in golden waves, one unruly lock drooping to his brow. She had never realized how thoroughly dark his eyes were.

"And here I was, wondering how long I should wait for you to settle in before challenging you," Midas welcomed. "I admire your initiative."

"I'm a twelve-time tournament champion at a new school with some of the strongest huntsmen in Vale," Lazula reminded. "It only makes sense I challenge the very strongest one here, and beat him."

Midas's smile continued. "Well, then. I accept your challenge."

Lazula drew Impetus from its sheath, positioning her feet and staring down her opponent.

"...After our warm-ups, of course!"

Lazula's shoulders sunk, and she sheathed her blade.

"Sure."

After a quick jog down to the water's edge and back, and a bit of dynamic stretching, Lazula and the rest of the Sparring Team returned to their room in the SFC. She had been sizing up Midas from the moment she agreed to warm up. She knew he fought with Resplendence, a halberd that unfolded into a bow, and channeled the electricity Midas produced with his semblance. He was well built but still looked nimble, and kept up with her on the run down to the water. He had a height advantage of over half a foot.

"By default, Sparring Team matches use a safety parameter of twenty percent. Is that alright?" Midas asked.

"Seems fair."

"Good." Midas pinched the screen he projected from his Holoband and flicked it upward. It hit a strange metallic structure suspended from the ceiling, and two screens flashed above the pair, displaying their names, pictures, and aura level.

Midas and Lazula took their places at opposing ends of the court. "It's too bad we're inside," Lazula said. "I'll have to hold back a bit if I don't want to break something."

Midas grinned. "I can hold back too! It's only fair."

Lazula shook her head. "That won't be necessary."

The excited buzz of the room quieted as a girl in robes of silvery blue stepped between them. "This is an impromptu sparring match between Team Captain Midas Baine, and challenger Lazula Skye," she announced. "The first combatant to decrease their enemy's aura level to twenty percent, or the combatant with highest aura level after five minutes, will be declared winner." She turned to Midas, then Lazula. "The match will begin after a ten second countdown."

As the clock began to count down, Lazula unsheathed Impetus, hearing the familiar, comforting sound of steel leaving its sheath. She pointed it at the ready, lowering her head.

As soon as she heard the tone, Lazula tore toward Midas. He stood his ground, halberd at the ready. Lazula smirked. "People should know by now that some attacks are just too strong to parry," she thought. She swung her blade across her body, but slashed through air.

Midas had spun around the side of her attack, and she felt a heavy strike down her back. Before she could turn, Midas spun his weapon and jabbed her spine, flinging her forward as she yelped with surprise and pain.

No one had hit her like that in a while, she recalled. Her first tournament? Or was it the second, over in Vacuo? It didn't matter now.

"No way! Look at her aura!" a voice called from the crowd.

"Ninety-five percent?! After a hit like that?"

She ducked under a slash parallel to the floor, pivoting into Midas and springing up with a vicious bash by Aegis. She slashed twice as he was knocked off balance, but her third swing was met by the shaft of his weapon. Cracking a grin, Midas channeled electricity down the length of his arm and into his weapon.

Lazula ripped Impetus away just as electricity began to course its way into Resplendence. She flung his weapon away and met him with an elbow to the chestplate before spinning and knocking him back with her shield. Midas slid backward, and used the distance between them to transform his weapon into a bow. He drew as Lazula ran forward, but at the last minute lowered his shot and let fly a bolt of lightning into Lazula's boots.

Electricity crackled across the ground as Lazula leapt over the attack, and crashed down on Midas with her blade. As his weapon rose to meet hers she channeled her semblance, taking his resistance into her own swing and amplifying it. Resplendence gave way, and Lazula slashed across his chest.

Midas's recovery was impressive. By the time Lazula swung back at him, he regained focus and parried her strike. A second and a third attack were met as well. Lazula took a split second to drop back and regain her focus before lunging at the golden-haired huntsman once more. "He's faster than me," Lazula realized. No matter how quickly she attacked, Midas's spinning of body and weapon alike caught her blade and tossed it back.

Finally, Impetus swung into Resplendence's axehead. Midas grinned, twisting his weapon until her blade was locked in his. Electricity crackled around him once more as Lazula attempted to rip her weapon free to no avail. She felt heat on her hands, then a seizing of her muscles, as if some searing entity inside of her arm controlled it from within. She let go of Impetus, and the Sparring Team scattered as the blade was flung their way. Midas turned and brought the head of Resplendence down on his unarmed foe.

Lazula blocked the attack with Aegis. Channeling as much of her semblance as she deemed safe, she wrenched her arm outward. Midas's armor crushed with the weight of her blow. He was flung back, providing Lazula an opening to retrieve Impetus.

She eyed the screen above her as she picked up her blade. She had been hit a few more times since, but her aura was still above ninety percent. Midas's hovered just over forty. The huntsman panted at the far side of the room, shoulders hunched. Letting out one last breath, he straightened and transformed Resplendence back into a bow.

Lazula raised Aegis to block a lightning bolt, then a second. She ran forward, keeping an eye out for more as she approached. She and Midas were locked in combat for several more seconds, before Midas ducked under one of her swings, and spun on the floor in an attempt to sweep her feet from under her.

Lazula buried Impetus's tip, vaulting over Midas's attack. She took its force into her blade and channeled it into her legs, blasting Midas with a potent kick to the gut. He rolled into the nearest wall, losing Resplendence. Lazula jumped after him, finishing their fight with a final strike.

The Sparring Team broke into hoots and cheers of excitement. With one foot on the ground, Lazula stepped on Midas's chestplate, bringing Impetus's tip dangerously close to his throat.

Her triumphant glare softened. She sheathed her weapon and extended a hand.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" she asked as Midas took her hand. "That last hit was a bit much for how much aura you had left."

Midas met her worry with an easy smile as he walked over to grab Resplendence. "No need to worry about me, I'm durable!"

Lazula huffed in amusement. "You're not bad. That was fun." She looked to the crowd that began to fill the sparring court, then back to Midas. "How do I join the team?"

Midas shook his head with another smile.

"After a fight like that, you're in."

#rwby #rwby oc #rwby oc fanfiction #rwby fanfiction

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noircartoons · 4 years

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FUCK i just noticed all my stories' protagonists and characters have variations of "the cold one/the calm one" "the hot one/the emotional one"

Sol&Moon- Takes some work for them to get this dynamic and theyre more then that but it can be broken down to that with Moon's way of being driven to facts,logic and research instead of living the moment and Sol being the exact opposite, being more excited and cheerful when not in a depressive or numb state despite being the pessimistic one between the two.

Ak&Seven- Ak is seen as cold for repressing a lot of her feelings and being in a constant state of numbness to appear professional, also worth mentioning her way of murdering lacks emotion and she never hesitates in takin a life as long as it is a threat. Seven is way more energetic and emotional, even if sometimes she can be just as cold on her killings and is far from positive, she is still always with a smile on her face and never stays in one place for too long.

Nico&Faith- Nico is a very childish adult and never runs out of energy. He's a performer, always singing and making a show even during fights, and definitly one of the most energetic characters in the story. Jumping from one side to the other, rambling non stop, always smiling and exploring the world. Faith, however, is very down to earth and calm. They're not as emotionless or out of touch as the other cold characters, after all they are still a kid and in the end just wants to help others and have friends, even if they end up being very straight foward and a bit cold during that.

Ava&Lilly- Ava is a very curious, very smiling character, that can be very focused and calm if the time asks. She's very optimistic,hopeful and dreamy, and does her best to not let the hateful world around her get to her head. She is seen as an idiot or immature for her ways, and ends up with the out of touch with reality characteristic i tend to put on cold characters. Lilly however is very realistic, determined and logical, and spends the start of the story angry, quiet and cold. She isn't the best with empathy and feelings because she always saw everyone else as a threat, after being so looked down on and abused(not physically) by the ones that surround her.

And i could go on with examples! My stories with 3 protagonists? Layla is the happy one and Thabo the cold one. Sky the happy one and Amber the cold one. Hell, even Jay with the happy one and Bay leaf and Gray being both kinda cold in their own ways.

Or side character relationships. Titan and Europa? Rhea and Titania? Triton and Oberon? The crow and Cassé? Check, check and check.

Why is this such a common theme in my stories and how did it took me years to notice?!

#pierre.txt

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aboyandhisstarship · 4 years

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Tinder AU David on Deployment

Tinder AU: David on deployment, Gwen makes a choice.

TW: suicide vest, Dear John, Torture, guns, blood, just general violence

A/N Well my post about cutting some content from this chapter only got likes so i assume you all want to see it...as such head the trigger warnings...and be aware my Davids tend to be less happy go lucky, espiecally when he is working so bear that in mind...and dont yell at me

Gwen and David were in a very fancy Restaurant; across from the couple was Gwen’s parents they were asking him “so David…you have to travel a lot for your job?”

David nodded “I Go where I’m sent…”

Gwen’s mom asked “so you can be called away at short notice?”

David sighed “That depends…”

Gwen’s dad accused “so you are not here When Gwen needs you!?”

Gwen demanded “Dad!”

David smiled “it’s ok Gwen…it is a fair question…your right I will not always be here…but when I am Gwen is the most important Person.”

Gwen’s mom was about to respond when David’s phone started to beep, He answered it as Gwen’s parents glared saying “Go for Greenwood…”

David nodded “yes Sir…be there soon.”

Gwen said quietly “you have to go?”

David nodded sadly “Yea there is a…situation…”

David turned to Gwen’s parent’s “It was nice to meet you…”

Gwen’s dad sneered “I’m sure it was.”

David kissed Gwen’s cheek before leaving, as soon as he was gone The Santos parent’s sighed and said “Gwen we want to talk to you about this relationship…”

Chicago Illinois:

The plane landed as the team stepped onto the runway where a Detective was waiting saying “You the folks from the Army?”

David’s CO Smiled as she pointed everyone in turn starting with herself “Hammerhead, Whipperwell, Nomad, Cool Breeze.”

The Detective sighed “right no names…look we have no idea if this is legit or some gang banger trying to talk themselves up.”

Hammerhead said casually as the team loaded there bags “they sent us Detective…someone thinks it is legit.”

Fort Bragg, North Carolina:

Gwen slammed her door yelling to the couple on the other side “I am not giving up my future for him!”

Gwen’s mom said “Gwen you need to focus on you…you should finish this experiment and date a nice young man…your father and I have some ideas…”

Gwen groaned “are you really trying to get me to dump David so you can set me up with someone your more comfortable being seen with!?”

Gwen’s dad sighed “there are 3 doctors in this family! Do you really want to drag us down by including a Solider?” he spoke the last word as if it had personally kicked his dog.

Gwen groaned “Go away!”

Her parent’s walked away saying “this conversation is not over young Lady!”

Gwen plucked onto the couch laying her head in Lilly’s lap who was pretending to not hear the whole thing Gwen grumbled “Kill me.”

Lilly chuckled “I’m not exactly qualified…but I can always ask one of David’s coworkers.” She teased

Gwen grumbled “don’t say things like that…They already hate him…”

Lilly sighed “right, sorry.”

Gwen sighed “what am I going to do…I wish I could talk to David he always has the right thing to say.”

Lilly stroked her hair saying “Just relax…maybe watch some TV?”

Chicago Illinois:

David sighed as they drove through the snow saying “nice place…”

The detective chuckled “yea we just got over a blizzard.”

Hammerhead sighed dramatically saying “Great…our briefing was a bit Vague on the situation on the ground here…just some group of hoods are telling anyone who will listen they got their hands on a chemical weapon.”

The detective nodded “the Attica 99, they are mostly in Drug running and have been fighting another gang for years.”

Jasper asked “tell us about them…there leader.”

The detective sighed “Carlos Mendoza, classic piece of work thinks he is the next Al Copone.”

David shook his head “that’s always a good sign…”

The detective nodded “he was the one that started bragging about how they get something big from overseas at first we figured it was some new drug shipment, then we started picking up chatter that they got there hands on a chemical weapon that they want to use to send a Message.”

Hammerhead nodded “where do they hang out, we need to take the temperature.”

The Detective sighed “they own a night club on the east side…”

David asked “you got anyone in custody we can talk to?”

The Detective nodded “a couple…”

Hammerhead smiled “good thinking Nomad, you would stand out in the club anyway.”

Jasper said “I will tag along.”

Hammerhead smiled “right then me and Wipperwell will check out the club.”

The car pulled up to their Safe house.

Police station:

David and Jasper arrived wearing suits at the station walking up to reception David smiled saying “hello, I have an appointment.”

The desk officer asked “can I have your name?”

David smiled “Nomad and Cool Breeze.”

The desk officer chuckled saying “is this a prank.”

Jasper looked at her saying “humor us.”

The officer typed before looking up “uhh the bullpen is that way.”

David smiled at her “thank you Ma’am.”

Jasper shot the officer a wink as they entered the bull pen, David saying “so who exactly do we talk to?”

A detective walked up to them saying “so your…the guys…” she looked around before saying “from the Army?”

Jasper smiled “that’s us.”

David shook his head “Nomad and Cool Breeze Ma’am.”

The detective said “Sasha Daniels.” holding out her hand which was quickly shook.

Jasper said “so if there someone we can talk to?”

Sasha nodded leading them towards the cell “yep I need to be in there to make sure you don’t…”

David blinked “what start waterboarding him?…we don’t do that…”

Jasper added “usually.” With a playful smile

Tabii muttered “sure.”

David opened the door and inside was a rather burley looking man who simply said “I’m not telling you anything fuzz.”

David sat down across from him with jasper leaning on the table as David smiled “Fuzz now I have not been called that before.”

Jasper nodded “nether have I.”

David shrugged “it helps that we are not cops.”

The guy asked “what?”

David reached onto his jacket pocket pulling out a large folder saying “today is your lucky day friend.”

Jasper smiled “you see we are salesman, we sell vacations.”

The man said louder “what the…”

David nodded “that’s right we sell vacations to unpleasant folks such as yourself and today we are having a fire sale, an all-expense paid trip to Cuba.”

Jasper nodded saying “yep a nice free trip to beautiful Guantanamo Bay Cuba.”

David smiled “and you are likely wondering what you did to earn such a wonderful trip to what do the kids call it?”

Jasper adds helpfully “Gitmo I think?”

David snapped his fingers “that’s right…” placing a badge on the table

The guy said “This a trick?” looking at the badge then at Tabii

Tabii shook her head saying “there for real.”

The guy blinked saying “department of defense…”

David smiled “you’re playing with the big kids now.”

The guy sighed “look maybe I dealt some drugs…”

Jasper clicked his tongue “Nomad do we care about drugs?”

David said “drugs are bad, but that’s not why we are here.”

Jasper nods “no it is not…you see the reason you’re not already on a plane to your new vacation home is because you can maybe tell us something useful.”

The guy bulked up “I aint no snitch.”

David sighed “you and your friends caught our attention when you started telling anyone who would listen that you have a chemical weapon and plan to use it…not the greatest idea.”

Jasper nodded “you see now you and your buddies are on a watch list… And Nomad what do we do to people on watch lists?”

David leaned back saying “well Cool Breeze…we don’t do a lot of watching,” The subtext being conveyed easily.

The guy eyes went wide as Jasper said “that’s right, you see all of your other crimes are thoroughly none of our business but chemical weapons…” Jasper Whistled

David shook his head “it is not a good look for you…and your buddies…but if you talk to us about the weapons maybe the locals deal with you and not us.”

The guy sighed “how do I know you’re legit and won’t send me to Gitmo or worse?”

Jasper smiled “that’s easy we release to the capable hands of Sasha here who sends you to normal prison.”

The guy sighed “alright here is what I know.”

Safehouse:

David finished briefing saying “that’s what our new friend told us…”

Hammerhead nodded “that lines up with what we saw in the club, lots of guards well-armed but badly trained, we can take em easy but there are Civs around.”

Jasper shrugged “they should make a B line for the exits as soon as the flashes go off.”

David sighed “what about the weapons we will be wearing Hazmats but if they go off it would be bad for the neighborhood.”

Hammerhead smiled “Skylight…Nomad you take the boss as we breach the bottom floor and move for the weapons.”

Wipper well asked “Level of force?”

Hammer head nodded “we have been given the nod, no kid gloves, lethal force that said the DOD does not want any Civ bodies”

David chuckled “so check our shots.”

Next night:

David adjusted his hazmat Suit a gasmask resting on his forehead as he stood on the roof top next to the club an Mp5 hanging over his chest, Sasha sighed “wow I always thought you guys only dress like that in the movies.”

David chuckled with a shrug “nothing wrong with living up to some stereotype’s, listen this will be loud and they are going to be rather panicked People running out of that building.”

Sasha nodded “we can handle that.”

David’s radio cracked to life as Hammerhead said “Nomad we are on approach.”

David fired Sasha a smile before pulling down his gas mask saying “On my way.” David picked up a breach charge jumping to the next building as Tabii Climbed down from the building.

The Bass of the music pounded in David’s ears as he said “Green,” Placing the breach charge on the skylight after securing his rappel lines.

Hammerhead said “On my count…3, 2, 1 Execute Execute Execute.”

David blew the charge throwing a flashbang into the room as he rappelled into the VIP area of the club, he landed staring down the boss he saw a goon coming from his left and shoot him dead before pointing his gun back at the boss saying “Hands in the Air now!”

David heard gunshots screaming and more flashbangs going off and a woman to his left came into view he scanned ready to shoot her but saw she was only holding a phone he switched back to the boss saying “get those hands up!” his voice muffled by the gas mask.

The boss pulled out a small device and David didn’t Hesitate shooting the boss dead, he detached himself from his rope reloading his Magazine before walked up to the dead man flipping him over before he looking at the picture of Mendoza before saying “Hammerhead, Dry hole…I repeat Mendoza is not on site.”

He saw the woman clearly filming him saying with a sigh “Ma’am you need to vacate,” Before saying on his radio “Hammer head I’m moving your way.”

David moved down the stairs shooting some gang members that tried to get the drop on him before approaching basement calling “coming in!”

Hammerhead turned around Gasmask on her forehead “come on in.”

David entered seeing the “chemical weapon” David pulled up his Gas mask “this a joke ma’am?”

In front of them was pallet of Axe body spray, Jasper sighed “unless they planned to Axe bomb that enemy crew then maybe they moved it.”

Whipper well held up a tester saying “it was here, who knows how long ago.”

Jasper made an over here whistle, David shook his head “how about that.”

Inside were a lot of weapons, ranging from Glocks to AK’s

Hammerhead sighed “The locals can handle these weapons; we need to fall back and figure out our next move.” The team pulled on the gas masks before leaving the building.

North Carolina:

Gwen was sitting in her dorm before her phone started to light up with crazy amount of messages all having variations on the question “is that David?”

Gwen chuckled “this should be dumb.” She clicked the link and was sent to YouTube video titled “No police raid I ever saw.” With 8 million views, Gwen sighed “I swear if I get rick rolled.”

Gwen clicked Play and was treated to a typical club video of some kind with people dancing to some music about thirty seconds passed before there was an explosion glass rained from the ceiling as people started screaming the camera person saw a cylinder hit the ground before there was a flash the Person holding the camera was clearly blinded as a man in all black wearing a gasmask dropped from the ceiling, the Camera watched him scan firing his weapon and the camera followed someone who fell against the wall dead blood flying everywhere before the man in the gasmask turned on a man in the middle room calling “Hands in the air Now!”

The camera stepped forward and the man in the gasmask pointed there weapon at them briefly before turning back to the man in the center of the room “Get those hands up!” his voice muffled by the gas mask.

The man looked to be holding something and without a second of pause the guy in the gasmask shot hit dead the weapon was so loud Gwen almost gasped as it was finished with the light Klink of the shell casings hit the floor. The Gasmask wearing man unclipped himself from his ropes reloading his weapon flipping over the body and looking at a picture shaking his head he said something that Gwen could not hear over the chaos before turning around looking directly at the person filming saying voice muffled by the gas mask “you need to vacate ma’am.”

Gwen watched the Green eyes behind the gas mask and the way the guy wearing the mask said ma’am Gwen mouth opened “Holy fuck…”

The video kept filming all through the evacuation before ending. Gwen sent back her mouth wide open as she paused “I knew what he does…but seeing it…”

Gwen stood up walking over to the trashcan before vomiting.

Chicago Illinois:

David sat on a chair still in full gear his eyes closed as he napped, they were waiting for their local contacts to tell them if they heard anything when they heard coming to the door there was a knock and David pulled out his Glock as he nodded to Jasper who opened the door, Sasha walked in seeing the armed David who lowered his gun saying “Should I come back later?” food in her hand.

Hammerhead smiled saying “come on in Detective.”

Sasha entered and saw the inside of the safe house covered in photos and other documents about the team’s target. Sasha smiled carefully “nice place…”

Whipper well laughed “better than our normal safe houses.”

Sasha chuckled “somehow I believe it…”

David asked “what do you have for us?”

Sasha smiled putting down the subs saying “your raid has had the desired effect, Attica 99 have gone to ground, and we have rounded up the majority of their leadership from the club.”

Jasper asked “and the Weapon?”

Sasha sighed “most of the guys we grabbed said the same thing, it should have been in the basement of the club, and they are just as shocked as we are that it wasn’t there.”

David asked “we believe them?”

Sasha paused “some BS’ing us I buy…but all of them…especially after what they saw I don’t buy it you put the fear of god into them…”

Hammerhead sighed “did we learn anything.”

Sasha nodded “Mustard gas…what they stole us 800 metric liters of mustard gas.”

South Carolina:

Gwen tossed and turned as she watched the assault over and over again, the brutality the coldness of it was getting to her…and just for a second she started to wonder…maybe my folks are right about him.

Chicago:

David sat in a car with Sasha looking at an apartment around the corner from him, David was in passenger with Sasha behind the wheel, and David had his eyes closed as Sasha cleared her throat “soo Nomad…”

David opened his eyes “Target sighted?”

Sasha asked “Target?”

David frowned before slapping his head “sorry old habits…”

Sasha frowned “I think it is telling…”

David sighed “do I want to…”

Sasha interrupted saying “Judging from your assault you’re not big on taking people alive.”

David countered “I am trained to fight wars Detective not fight crime.” Peering through binoculars

Sasha nodded “right…so is there a Miss Nomad?”

David dodged saying “do you see a ring?”

Sasha countered “I don’t know your name; I don’t think it is a stretch for you not wearing your ring.”

David lied unconvincingly “I am an only child, with no family, no friends and no romantic attachments.”

Sasha laughed “they really make you say that?”

David chuckled “no names, we really going to talk about my personal life?”

Sasha said with triumph “You do have a personal life.”

David sighed “the life I have is the Mission, it comes first…always does…”

South Carolina:

Gwen was starting to question her relationship, as she looked at her phone all of her texts to David un answered as he deployed…somewhere, Gwen opened to email again looking at it…unsure what to do, it was a big chance but then again she would have to leave David…she began to look it over again.”

Chicago, safe house:

David briefed “we have been sitting on the girlfriend’s house for almost two weeks, but we finally got a sighting of him…”

Showing a photo of Mendoza taking out the trash, Hammer head said “the Pentagon give us the go, we want him alive to have a long chat…we move in tonight.”

South Carolina:

Gwen had mauled it over before she hit the call button “Miss Santo’s have you considered our offer?”

Gwen nodded “yes I have decided to accept it.”

The voice sounded happy “glad to hear it Professor, you will need to move here…will that be an issue?”

Gwen paused before saying “Not at all.” Gwen ended the call and sat back.

Gwen quickly put her stuff in a truck heading for Seattle, before she clutched the key heading for David’s apartment.

David’s apartment Fort Bragg:

Gwen let herself in seeing that the home had not been occupied in some time, she took the case she brought carefully putting away all of her stuff, she placed a note on the kitchen table before saying out loud “sorry David.” Leaving her key on the table she locked the door and walked away not looking back.

Chicago:

David lowered his night vision goggles over his gasmask as they crept towards the apartment, the team carefully opened the lobby quickly clearing the darked building as they advanced up the stairs, coming to apartment 27, the one owned by Mendoza’s Girlfriend, they stacked up on the door as Hammer head counted down with her fingers “3,2,1.”

At one Whipperwell used a breaching hammer bashing open the door, the team flew in shouting “on the floor!”

A baby cried as David and Jasper wrestled the surprised Mendoza to the ground David demanded “where is it!”

Mendoza responded “you’re too late.”

Hammerhead sighed “Whipper well let’s check on the girl friend.”

David and Jasper lifted there masks with David asking “what are you smiling about?”

David was answered with the yell of one word “avalanche!”

University of Seattle:

Gwen shook hands with the English department head saying “happy you were able to join us on such short notice Professor.”

Gwen smiled “happy to be here.”

The department head “lets show you to your office.”

Chicago:

Sasha saw David and jasper drag Mendoza out of the smoking apartment, Sasha Asked “nomad…what happened?”

David pulled out a sat phone as Jasper growled “this son of a bitch rigged up his girlfriend with an S vest…clacked it off.”

Sasha blinked “are you saying…”

Jasper nodded “turned his Girlfriend into a suicide bomber, took out herself, her baby, Hammer head and Whipper well.”

Jasper adding“and apparently he already planted the gas.”

Sasha swore “that sick fuck!”

David nodded “yes sir…I understand what the president is authorizing…no sir…no qualms about it…yes sir the Mission comes first,”

Sasha paused “Nomad…”

David stated “pentagon have told us the gloves are off He has been declared an enemy combatant…”

Sasha asked “what are you saying?”

David said simply “Take a walk…”

Mendoza smile faded “wait, I’m not going into police custody?”

Jasper opened the van back doors as David repeated “take a walk.”

Sasha asked “what are you going to do to him?”

David clenched his fists “nothing we have not done before.”

Mendoza said “wait you can’t, I killed some of them…there is no telling what they do to me.”

Sasha paused before nodding saying “right…”

David threw him into the van saying coldly “enjoy your walk.”

Warehouse: TW torture

David dragged Mendoza to a chair in the middle of the warehouse, where surrounding them where a variety of tools, David said coldly “Tell us where the gas is.” Jasper picked up a wretch.

Mendoza said “I want a lawyer!”

David sighed “wrong answer” Nodding at jasper, who swung the wrench at Mendoza’s left pointer finger breaking it the blow causing to man scream in pain.

David said again “where is the gas Mendoza? You have 9 more fingers.”

Mendoza breathed out “I am not telling you anything!”

David nodded again and jasper broke his middle finger as Mendoza screamed “Fuck Fuck stop stop!”

David glared “this ends as soon as you tell me what I want to know.”

Mendoza sighed “fine…your mom is a whore!”

David sighed “do the entire hand.”

Jasper swung wretch breaking the entirety of his left hand, David said “you want to survive this you piece of garbage? Then tell us!”

Mendoza groaned “I won’t tell you anything!”

David grabbed a car battery and jumper cables sparking the object, as jasper throw a bucket of water on him “tell us and this ends.”

Mendoza groaned as David touched his body with the cables delivering a severe shock the man swore “fuck ok…wiggly alright the baseball game…those punks from fifth street have their meetings there, we are going to take them out in the game.”

Jasper groaned “along with thousands of others!”

Mendoza groaned “that’s war…”

Jasper looked like he was going to hit him again but David stopped him “Cool Breeze…The Mission isn’t over…we need to call Sasha.”

Mendoza groaned “you can’t stop it.”

David ignored him as he called Sasha saying “wiggly stadium, and send an ambulance to the following address…”

Station:

David signed the paperwork to get his team released from the morgue as Sasha said “so I visited Mendoza in the hospital…well as much as I could considering the Feds waiting to ship him off.”

David put down the clip board “oh what did you learn?”

Sasha paused “he must have fallen down one hell of a flight of stairs” she half joked

David responded coldly “whatever the mission allows.”

Sasha nodded “the pentagon…they told you to do that?”

David answered “they wanted the gloves off…that’s what it looks like have a nice life detective.”

David left the station and never looked back

Fort Bragg:

David sighed as Miller debriefed saying “Master Sargent…you did good work.”

David shook his head “we took casualties sir…the mission was off from day one.”

Miller nodded “indeed, but you are Sargent Fronds managed ok, you have been given the command, of the team.”

David paused before saying “thank you sir…”

Miller Smiled “you have to new members joining you soon, the first is your tech expert, Warrant officer Tabii Gordon, Her call sign is Redcap,” Sliding over a file before adding “and fresh out of selection, Corporal Gaylord Nurfington his call sign is Dirt Diver”

David crocked an eyebrow “Gaylord?”

Miller smiled “his friends call him Nurf.”

David took the files “thank you sir.”

Miller reinterred “You did good work son…go home and get some rest.”

David nodding grabbing his files and going home.

David’s apartment:

David opened the door, sighing as he entered trying to put on a smile not let the mission get to him he put his key in the dish saying aloud “Gwen you home?...it’s me David…”

David then said aloud “well I guess you would figure that…considering this is my apartment.”

David felt his hair stand up on the back of his neck, his Instinct’s saying there was something wrong, he reached for his gun moving for the bedroom, taking a deep breath he threw the door open quickly clearing the empty room, David moved quickly clearing the bathroom. Before lowering his weapon his heart pounding before he saw it, the note and the key on the table.

David put his weapon away picking up the note feeling his stomach turn as he recognized Gwen’s handwriting.

David opened the note reading:

David…I’m sorry that I can’t do this in person, but with you being sent away right in the middle of that dinner, forced me to come to a conclusion that maybe I am not cut for this life…being with you, watching the news every night wondering if I will see your face as a casualty in some country, or get a knock on my door or a call saying that you died and they can’t tell me where or how just that you are a hero. And they are right you are a hero David…but your also in a messy business…I saw a video from your recent deployment…I saw you kill two people with no mercy not hesitation. That is the type of person you are, I guess I always knew after our first when you shot that man, but I didn’t want to read that writing on the wall…I know who you are David I know you would never hurt anyone who was not trying to hurt you, but frankly it all comes down to one question, and I decided not to give you a chance to answer it, the question is what do you love more your job or me…and I already know the answer…the mission always comes first for you David…so I took a job somewhere else…you will never see me again…goodbye David…stay safe

-Gwen

David dropped the note holding his head in his hands before reaching over to this phone to call Gwen before met with a simple “the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.”

David look down feeling the tears welling on his face before his phone buzzed, he reeled himself in saying with a simple “go for Greenwood…Yes sir, not an issue at all.”

David placed the note on the table grabbing his go bag and left the apartment.

A/N:

So Gwen dumped David after his team died and he is now in charge...will they stay apart...Not sure...maybe, maybe some thing will happen at her old school, what i do know is that there will be some Jaspvid Brotp and David driving into his work until his team pulls him out...but no need to worry about that, the next chapter will probably be tamer, but i debated showing Jasper and David torturing that guy for a long time, they was build up with the waterboarding joke, but considered just not showing it cutting to the scene after, but decided to make the audience have conflicted feelings about David, possibly even Side with Gwen who just dumped him...but i don’t want David to be a crazy guy so i wrote in The Pentagon Ordering it clearly, but enough talk...tell me what you thought of this chapter, and of that scene, weather it was done well, or felt gratuitous...this chapter has been done for like a week before i decided to publish, anyway stay safe

#Gwenvid #TinderAU #Dear john #TW:Torture #tw:suicide bomber #tw: chemical weapons

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ericsonclan · 4 years

Text

A Friend’s Twisted Love Part 2

Summary: With nowhere to run, the Ericson Pirates must face off against the Delta Pirates and - worst of all - their former friend Minerva.

Read on A03:

Part 1:

Over on Ol’ Kickass, the Ericson crew was surrounded by chaos. Willy and Omar fired the cannons, trying to do some damage to the enemy’s ship. Willy’s feet scrambled back and forth, filling up the cannons and preparing them while Omar lit the fuse. Ruby’s brow was covered in sweat as her rapier fended off the group of enemies before them. Ruby was the last line of defense to the cannons and now three pirates were hovering over her. The grip on her rapier tightened as she swung for the first pirate, praying that the others were doing better.

Louis and AJ weren’t having much better luck as they switched between two jobs: protecting Tenn and cutting the grappling hooks off the ship.

“AJ! How is it going?” Louis pushed back one of the enemies before kicking them overboard.

“I’m going as fast as I can!” AJ snapped back as his blade cut through another rope. His eyes wandered down the line of grappling hooks. There were still so many of them.

“Ey yo! What do you think you’re doing?” a voice towered behind AJ as his blade was cutting through a rope.

Louis quickly turned around, shocked by the noise and concerned for AJ’s safety. He quickly fired a shot that landed directly into the left side of the pirate woman’s rump.

She cursed as she turned around to see who’d shot her.

Louis felt his blood turn cold as he saw the look in her eyes. Without another thought he quickly swung Chairles at her, frantically trying to keep her at bay. It seemed to do little to deter her from her goal of reaching him though. With each swing she came closer and closer before she grabbed his coat with one hand, lifting him up into the air. Louis kicked his feet desperately. His hands tried to pry her grip on his coat but to no avail.

AJ jumped up onto the woman’s back. His small arms circled her neck before he bit down sharply on her ear. An unnatural crunch emitted from AJ’s mouth as his teeth cut through her ear. Within seconds half of her ear was gone.

The woman let out an annoyed grunt as she threw AJ off. Her hand slowly reached up to check on her ear.

AJ hit the side of the ship. He rolled forward before spitting out a bloodied mess that contained the piece of her ear.

Rage filled the pirate’s sight as she dropped Louis.

Louis tried to reach out to AJ before a sharp pain took over his stomach as she kneed him in the gut. Louis gasped for air, desperately trying to cling to the woman and slow her down. One thought repeated in his head again and again: She can’t get near AJ or any of the crew.

The woman looked down at Louis with disdain before easily kicking him to the side. With one enemy out of the way, she made her way over to AJ.

He tried to hold his glare even though his eyes were filled with fear.

Suddenly a soft thunk came from the back of her head. Reaching up a hand, the woman looked down to see an old roll spinning on the floor. She quickly spotted the culprit.

Tenn was shaking as he drew his dagger. His hands quaked more and more with each passing second.

The woman’s eyes shone with rage as she loomed over Tenn.

“Get the fuck away from him!” Violet hissed, swinging her meat cleaver towards the woman. Marlon was right beside Violet, joining the attack as well. His cutlass swung towards what he hoped was the woman’s blind spot. The woman deflected Marlon’s attack before sidestepping to dodge Violet’s. Marlon and Violet shared a worried looked. This was going to be a struggle. The pair worked in unison as they threw flurry after flurry of attacks towards their fearsome opponent.

The two continued to attack, but she was still standing unyielding and unbending. She seemed unstoppable. Suddenly while blocking an attack by Marlon the lady’s legs gave out from under her. She reached out to try and grab the side of the ship, but another push had her falling straight into the sea. Louis and AJ rose shakily.

“Lou!” Violet ran over to Louis, checking his body for any injuries. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just enjoying my free workout of the day.” Louis cracked a smile and gave a lighthearted laugh before his expression and tone grew serious.

“Go help the others. AJ and I have got this handled.”

Violet nodded in understanding and ran off in the direction of some nearby fighting. She looked around, her eyes trying to find the best place to help. Violet suddenly froze as she heard Prisha cry out in pain. Her cry rang out from across the other ship. Violet’s eyes shot over to see Prisha kneeling on the ground, her cutlass kicked to the side while her ribs oozed out blood that stained her shirt more with each passing moment.There standing in front of her was Minerva. She held her blade up, ready to end the life before her.

Violet felt her heart stop. Her mind became consumed by a sickening feeling. No, this can’t be happening. “I’ve got to help Prisha!” Violet yelled, grabbing a nearby rope to swing over.

“Vi! Shit!” Marlon cursed furiously as he tried to find a way to join her on the other side. His search paused, however, when a voice echoed from the other side of their own ship.

It was Aasim’s. “Mitch! Get back!” Aasim gestured to his friend while a figure appeared before him. A loud crash could be heard as David pinned Aasim against a wall. Aasim gasped for air from the impact.

“You’re brave, I'll give you that. But stupid.” David smirked as his hand reached up, wrapping around Aasim’s throat. Aasim struggled desperately, the lack of air quickly affecting his body. “But you won’t have to worry about it for long.” David’s face twisted into a smile. Brody and Mitch tried to make their way over to help

Aasim but were immediately stopped by Abel.

“Now where do you think you’re going?” Abel looked at them disapprovingly.

“Get the hell out of my way,” Mitch hissed, swinging his arm out.

“Now that’s not very polite!” Abel wildly swung at them, attacking like an unstable animal.

“Rosie! Sic him!” Marlon cried out as he sprinted across the deck to help.

Rosie barked in approval before lunging at David. Her teeth sunk deeply into David’s leg, viciously biting through his pants. Blood splattered everywhere as her teeth continuously tore his leg to shreds. David screamed in pain before releasing Aasim to kick Rosie aside. She yelped in pain as David’s boot sank deep into her gut.

“You bastard!” Marlon yelled, lunging towards David and hitting him hard against the skull with his sword hilt. David staggered back before unsheathing his own knife.

“You’ll pay for that!” David’s voice took on a deadly tone. His knife shone in the light as he menacingly walked toward Marlon.

Marlon felt his legs shaking beneath him. He quickly pushed his fear down though as his rapier jabbed towards David. David blocked it with ease, punching Marlon square in the jaw and causing him to stumble backwards. Blood slipped out of Marlon’s mouth as he brushed a hand against his mouth. Marlon felt his anger burning inside him, his determination bleeding through his arm as he swung out once more. He wouldn’t give his opponent any chance of hurting any more of the crew.

Willy had disappeared from Omar’s side and decided against all better judgement to run over to Brody and Mitch. His eyes widened as he realized the trouble the two were in. Abel had just landed an attack on Brody, cutting her stomach as his blade flew by. Willy knew he needed to act now before Brody’s injuries became more severe. Taking out his dagger, Willy lunged forward with a cry. Abel immediately turned to greet him, blocking his attempt and hitting Willy across the face. He was sent sliding back across the deck with a pained cry.

“You bastard!” Mitch's voice cracked as an unending rage consumed his eyes. His dagger dug into Abel’s arm, blood spurting out from the impact.

Garbage weaseled her way out of Willy's shirt, her beady eyes darting back and forth before landing on Willy’s figure. He laid flat on the deck, groaning as he tried to regain his strength. Garbage looked towards Abel and let out a throaty hiss as she flung herself onto her enemy’s face, biting down on his nose with a loud crunch.

Abel cursed wildly, frantically trying to get the possum off of his face.

Mitch and Brody continued their attack. Mitch delivered vicious stabs while Brody continuously drew Abel’s attention back to her.

After a while Abel started to get worn out, giving Brody the opening she was looking for. With a swift hit to the side of the head, she knocked Abel out. She and Mitch shared a relieved smile before turning their attention back towards Willy and the rest of the crew.

The Ericson Pirates were barely holding on, desperately fighting off the incoming waves of attacks. It seemed like Lilly had a never-ending supply of pirates at her disposal. For every man they took out, two more appeared to replace them. It seemed inevitable that they would lose. Then suddenly Lilly’s ship caught on fire.

#fanfic #twdg #twdg louis #twdg aj #twdg mitch #twdg brody #twdg aasim #twdg marlon #twdg violet #twdg rosie #twdg garbage #a pirate's life for me au

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christie052780 · 5 years

Photo

It was the gloves that were the first thing that seemed weird to me. I mean the rest of him was just fine. He was an attractive enough guy who was definitely older than my teenage self and everything else seemed right. He was dressed more for corporate Chicago than rural Michigan with his elegant top coat and a natty suit underneath. But it wasn't cold out. Not at all.

"So why the gloves?" I asked as I passed him the coffee he'd ordered.

He smiled and replied, "It's a long story but let's just say I prefer to wear gloves."

He took the coffee and went off to sit down.

Over the next half hour or so I would look his way and find him staring at me. I wasn't sure if it was flattering or creepy but that little voice that whispered 'Danger!' in my mind was a bit louder than the usual whisper.

Around nine he gathered his things, dumped his empty cup in the trash, and then headed out. As he got outside I caught him glancing my way and again my little voice was singing to me.

That was the end of it, so I thought. For the next several months I didn't see him buying coffee anymore and the memory of the nice looking guy with the gloves started to slip away.

High school graduation was on my mind and I was also starting to consider the upcoming change of life that I would see when I went off to university in the fall. I had my life planned out and that life included a doctorate in finance, a killer apartment in New York City, and fun times seeing Broadway shows and enjoying the good life that you can only find in the Big Apple.

It was the start of the Memorial Day weekend and I was out of school. I was looking forward to maybe getting in some time sailing around Grand Traverse Bay with my friends the next day. I didn't live far from the high school in Elk Rapids so it was a pleasant walk home on a late spring day.

I was just past the campus on East Third street where the street runs into a little stretch of forest. It had never occured to me that even though it was just a little way from the school and not far to the homes on the lake that it was also one of the most isolated spots on town. For about a hundred yards or so no one can see you as you're walking.

And that was where the very clean black Mercedes motorhome was parked. Not an unsual site around town, not at all. I didn't even care when I heard the driver's side door open as I walked past it.

"Hi there! Nice to see you again!"

I stirred from my reverie and turned to see the guy from the coffee shop. I recognized him immediately even though he was now dressed in shorts, sandals, and a nice button down shirt.

The gloves were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, I didn't introduce myself last time we met...I'm Donald!"

His ungloved right hand was outstretched as if to shake hands with me.

Shaking hands is a very old custom that comes from a time when enemies would meet and they'd shake hands to demonstrate that they were not holding a weapon. It was meant to show that neither party was a threat to the other and it was considered very rude to decline a proffered hand.

The reason for the tradtion is lost to most people but the part about refusing a handshake being very rude is still with us.

So because of seventeen years of social conditioning I moved my books to one hand and then stuck out my right hand to grasp his own.

"I'm Lilly, nice to meet you!"

He hesitated for a moment and then took my hand.

I caught my breath as it seemed an electric current ran through me. My heart started beating faster. My skin felt warmer. I felt a little dizzy. My nipples swelled up and something between my legs stirred, too. I just remember wondering what the fuck was happening to me.

Then I looked up at Donald. He looked different to me now. He was still the same guy in the same outfit but something about him was different. He seemed more attractive somehow. It also seemed like I knew him all my life even though I'd literally just met him.

"You look a little flushed, " he said. "Maybe you'd like to come sit down?"

I trusted him.

He took me by the hand and led me to the other side of the motorhome and opened the side door to let me in. As he closed the door behind me I looked out the front of the motorhome and saw my mom drive by on her way home. She'd be there inside of two minutes. It was that close.

Donald took my bag and set it on the floor as he had me sit down on in a seat. He put on a pair of gloves and then opened the bag. Taking my phone out he opened the side door again and tossed the phone into the bushes.

He could see me struggling to protest. My phone was so important to me!

He removed his gloves again and then reached out a hand to touch my face. Once again an electric feeling came over me and the previous sensations washed over me but with a different focus...instead of making me breathless it made me feel calm and peaceful.

Donald took my face in his hands and then leaned down to kiss me. It wasn't my first kiss but it was so much more intense than anything else I'd ever felt before. When his tongue pried open my lips and slipped into my mouth all I can say is that it was amazing.

He eventually broke our kiss and when he did I was limp and unable to do much of anything. He buckled me into my seat and then went to get behind the wheel.

All too soon we were leaving Elk Rapids behind us. Eastport came along and disappeared. It wasn't very long before we were in Mackinaw City and then we crossed the bridge to Michigan's Upper Peninsula.

I was conscious of moving along and I was also conscious of the fact that I was now two hours late getting home from school.

"Donald, do you think I should be getting home now? My mom's going to be worried."

I said this as if I knew him and even as I said the words there was a part of me that felt they were wrong in some way. Like I shouldn't be so polite to this guy.

This guy.

I was starting to think there was something wrong when he stopped the motorhome and then came back to kiss me again. I didn't fend off the kiss and soon the euphoria I'd felt before was renewed and I found myself wondering why I'd been concerned.

When Donald broke off our kiss this time he seemed distracted. He left me where I was, belted into my seat, and resumed driving. Soon enough we were off the Interstate and after a while more he pulled off the paved road. We bumped along a little way and then ended up at a nice looking house looking off on Lake Huron.

Donald used a remote control to open the garage for the motorhome and then pulled inside before stopping the engine.

He undid my seatbelt and then said, "Come on." offering me his bare hand. I was ready for it when I took his hand and loved the feeling that swept over me. It was hard to stand up but he helped me and then took me into the house.

I remember looking out the window at the view of Lake Huron and being impressed. He took me to a windowless room that was like a hotel room with its own bathroom. The only difference was the chain bolted to the middle of the floor. Donald attached me to the chain with a handcuff that ratcheted closed on my wrist as I looked on.

"I've got a few things to do and then I'll be back, you understand me, Lilly?"

I looked up from the handcuff to his face and nodded my acknowledgment.

And a moment later he closed the bedroom door and I heard it lock.

* * *

I don't know how long it was, but after some time the effects of Donald's touch wore off and I started to look around my room to see if I could get out. The door was locked and it was solid steel. The bathroom was nicely appointed but it had no windows. The ceiling was obviously very solid and so were the walls and the floor.

There was no way out.

I was getting hungry when I heard the door unlock and there was Donald with a plate of spaghetti.

Frankly, I was too scared to eat anything.

"Hey, I brought you something to eat." He set the plate on the bedside table.

"Are you going to let me go?" That's all I was thinking about.

"No, but if you'll be patient with me I think you'll come to like it here."

I launched into a fit of crying and begging for him to let me go and then he walked over to me. I was expecting him to slap me when all he did was touch my cheek.

Instantly the feelings I'd had before came back. Donald looked better to me and that feeling of knowing him and trusting him all my life came back too.

"That's better."

He gestured at the plate, "Now go ahead and eat your dinner before it gets cold. You've got to be hungry after today and all the driving."

He went to leave the room. "When I come back we'll talk."

The door closed and I ate my dinner without even thinking about why I'd been worried.

I no sooner finished dinner and put down the plate when he was back. I took notice of how he was wearing his gloves again.

Seeing his gloves made me realize that the feeling from his touch had lessened a bit.

"Donald, can you tell me what's going on?"

He sat down in a chair across from the bed where I was sitting.

"Okay, I'm just going to get this all out of the way." He cracked his knuckles and drew in a breath.

"My wife Anne died from cancer last year so I was lonely and went driving around in the fall. Came across you at the coffee place and decided that you were the one to replace her. You're tall, thin, you got a nice ass and I love your tits...", he took a moment to stare at them, "...and I'm hoping that maybe we can have the family Anne could never give me."

All of this should have horrified me but somehow I was just taking it in stride.

"Um...okay...but what is this thing you've been doing to me?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that."

"My father was a geneticist back in the eighties and as a kid I had leukemia and he came up with a treatment that involved hamster proteins. The treatment didn't help me with the leukemia but it did help me recover from the chemotherapy."

"Did you know that hamsters have some of the strongest pheromones of any other mammal on earth?"

I didn't and I shook my head to say no.

"Well they do. And when I hit puberty the side effect of my father's attempt to treat cancer came up. When I'd get around girls they'd almost always start looking my way and if I touched them they'd often start acting like they were stunned or drunk and they'd do pretty much anything I wanted them to do. Over the years I've figured that it's a combination of something like sex pheromones and oxytocin that gets girls to see me as attractive and to trust me."

He added an afterthought of, "Hmph."

"You'd think that a teenage boy would love this but the problem was that I couldn't always tell if a girl had a boyfriend or someone. That meant I got my ass kicked a few times for getting too close to some guy's girl or daughter and that was when I started wearing gloves."

"The other thing I observed over time was that my touch had a lot less effect on girls who'd had sex with another guy and I think that's got something to do with the way the pheromones work. The best girls for me were virgins like yourself."

"And that's how I met Anne. She was a girl from church and to be honest she was way out of my league. She was smart, gorgeous, and she was always so happy! I fell in love and after we were both out of high school I went to see her that summer and I touched her hand. After that she was my girl and we were married right after we both finished college. We had a good twenty years together and I miss her."

He stopped and wiped an eye.

"Turns out that I don't like to be alone but it also turns out that the women my age are all spoken for in the way that counts. I don't have much effect on them and I hate to say but my personality isn't the greatest so it's tough to find a date. So last fall I decided to go look around and find myself a young lady."

"No offense, but you weren't the first one I looked at. There were a couple others but when I shook their hands not much happened so I knew they weren't virgins. Then I followed you around and shook your hand and can tell you're a virgin."

His previous touch was wearing off even more now.

"So if you can have any girl you want then why did you have to kidnap me?"

He took off his gloves and put them on the table next to the chair.

"I didn't kidnap you. Not at all. I touched you and then you came along because I asked you to."

I felt my nerve coming back, held up my handcuffed wrist and replied, "If you didn't kidnap me then prove it. Let me go."

He smiled. "I figured you were feeling a little more normal."

He got up from his chair and walked over to me.

"Okay, I'll let you go." The way he said it made it sound like a smartassed remark.

I held up my wrist and he took my arm in his hand and as I watched him unlock the handcuff I realized my mistake. His touch on my skin did its thing and I sighed from the feeling.

He let the chain drop to the floor. "I was going to try to have you settle in and see if you'd like me on your own but it's pretty clear we need to move things along."

He took my chin in his hand and kissed me on the lips. The intense feelings I'd felt before came back. My skin felt warm, my nipples hardened, and I felt myself get moist.

He stepped back for a moment and pulled me to my feet.

"Lilly, have you ever felt these feelings before?"

I nodded, "Yes, but nothing like this...it's so intense!"

Donald smiled. "You're feeling sexual arousal. You get some of it when I touch you but it gets more intense when I kiss you...like this..."

He kissed me again and it was like stepping into a warm shower. Chills ran over me and I wrapped my arms around him to return his kiss.

Part of me was ashamed when I realized that I was grinding myself against him.

He broke our kiss and left me breathless. And then he stepped close to me and started unbuttoning my blouse. I let him push it off my shoulders and then he undid my skirt, letting it fall to the floor.

"Take off your shoes." He told me. And I stepped out of them.

He unclipped my bra and gave me a rush when he licked my nipples before sucking on one of them.

I don't remember when he took off my panties.

I was standing there naked and more aroused than I thought a person could be as I watched him strip himself.

When he faced me I got to see my very first real life penis. I couldn't help myself when I took it in my hands to feel it and stroke it. Touching it gave my body a jolt and I felt my pussy seize with a contraction.

I heard him catch his breath as my soft hands ran over his velvety hardness.

He slipped a finger into me and I moved my leg to let him do it. It felt wonderful but it was missing something. I needed more of him inside of me.

Donald guided me to the bed and had me lay on my back.

He stood there for a moment.

"Lilly, I need to tell you that you'll never be the same after this. You'll never be able to go back to your old life and all the things that used to be important to you won't matter anymore. You're going to feel something that will change you forever. I guess a part of me wants to give you a chance to stop before it's too late."

I sat up and reached for him. "Please..." was all I could say.

He let me take his hand and pull him towards me.

I scooted back on the bed and spread my legs to make a place for him. He climbed onto the bed and then settled himself between my thighs and then kissed me.

How do I describe this? The best I can come up with is it was like when you have an itch and it so needs to be scratched and you'll do anything you can to get that relief.

Yes; relief. That's the right word.

We were a tangle of arms and legs as he was kissing me. He was hungering to take me and I was hungering for him to take me.

Remember having chicken pox and you were so itchy and painful that all you could think about was scratching yourself and then you felt that amazing relief when your mom put the calamine lotion on you?

That's what it felt like when he pushed his cock into me.

There was no pain or discomfort, at least none that I noticed.

But when he slipped himself into me I felt nothing but relief as my itch was getting scratched. He thrust himself deep into me and I thrust myself up at him trying to get him to go deeper.

I shrieked with joy every time he drove himself into me and then I cried with grief when he'd pull back...I was really afraid each time he withdrew that he was done and I needed so much more!

My heart was beating so fast...as if I was running as fast as I could.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him to try to hold him inside me.

He pounded away at me and too soon....TOO SOON!!! I heard him start to groan. Oh, no! I didn't want him to be done yet! I needed so much more!!

"Ahhhhh!!!" he cried.

I felt it inside me...his cock swelled up and then pulsed as he locked eyes with me. My hands went to his hips to try to force him deeper and then I felt it.

His cock was spurting inside of me and a crazy euphoria came over me. It was like being light headed and caressed all over my body all at the same time. There was a sense of well being I'd never felt before...as if everything in the universe was just perfect. I felt myself relax and slip into the embrace of this perfect calmness and then it started inside me.

I felt my pussy start to contract over and over. Every time it went off it was like lightning in my body and it wouldn't stop! Oh, my God, I didn't want it to stop! And it just got more and more intense!

Donald was still thrusting himself into me and then I remember seeing him smile as the contractions in my body grew into convulsions of unending sexual joy!

* * *

I can't remember what happened after that.

When I woke up it the sun was peeking into the bedroom and that was when I noticed I was in a different bedroom.

My pussy was sore but I felt so good. I had absolutely no worries and no anxiety about anything.

I was still naked and didn't care as I got myself up off the bed and went to the bathroom. I peed and cleaned myself up a bit and then used the toiletries that had been thoughtfully set out for me.

There was a bathrobe and I put it on only because it was kind of cold.

I followed the scent of coffee to the kitchen and found Donald waiting for me. We exchanged pleasantries as he poured me a cup of coffee.

"So, Lilly, how do you feel this morning? You still want to leave me?"

I looked at him and all I felt was peace. "I feel better than I've ever felt in my life and can't imagine ever wanting to leave you."

I kissed him and sipped from my mug.

He gave me a donut to eat and afterwards came over and licked the powdered sugar from my lips.

My pussy ran wet from his kiss.

I loved it when he pushed open my robe and ran his hands over my breasts.

My hand went to his boxer shorts and I fished out his hardening tool and gripped it.

Donald gently lifted me onto the kitchen counter and then pulled down his shorts.

As if they had a mind of their own my legs parted as he came up to me. He took his tool in his hand and ran it through my pussy lips until he found what he was looking for.

Then in one forceful thrust he buried himself to the root into my body.

I loved it.

The two of us fucked each other. That's the right way to say it, too.

And when he came inside me I had my mind blown again by that seemingly unending sexual joy.

Afterwards he picked me up and carried me back to his bed to recover as the orgasmic convulsions wracked my body.

* * *

The days and weeks went by in a blur of naked skin and soiled sheets. He fucked me whenever it suited him and I didn't complain.

When he'd leave to go do some business or go to the store I'd sit at home waiting for him.

One day he had me go back to the windowless bedroom and he told me to wait in there, that he was testing something.

In just a few hours I missed his touch.

I didn't sleep that night.

When he came back to see me in the morning I told him I was missing him. I begged him to open the door for me. He did, but just for a moment to give me a sandwich with a gloved hand.

The next day I was hurting for him. I needed to feel him inside me! I needed that calmness!

When he came to see me I was desperate for his body and I banged on the door to demand that he let me touch him.

It seemed like forever as I heard him unlock the door.

When I saw him I threw myself at him and kissed him. That just took the edge off.

Soon he was between my legs giving me what I wanted and when he went off inside me I cried tears of joy and relief before the expected sexual convulsions seized my heart and soul.

It was probably two hours later when I asked him if his experiment was a success.

"Yes, it was. I discovered that you're addicted to me and that's a good thing."

Part of me didn't think it was good. But the rest of me didn't care because I was starting to wonder when we'd fuck again.

* * *

Of course, all that unprotected fucking eventually led to my discovery that I was pregnant! And the best side effect of being pregnant was a constant sensation of peace and calm with just a mild, ever-present state of arousal.

Through the pregnancy when Donald would fuck me the result wasn't the crazy intense convulsions but instead an even more stated feeling of satisfaction. I eventually understood what I was feeling as love. Love for my man and love for his baby inside me.

* * *

When the baby was born I soon discovered he'd inherited something from his father. Donald had cleaned up the baby from birth and placed him at my breast to suckle.

As the baby latched onto my nipple I felt that same sense of arousal as when his father would kiss me.

Donald saw this and smiled. "Lucky bastard."

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sparkesink · 4 years

Text

Chapter 16:

Vivian

There’s A Single Moment,

(A Split Moment,)

Light But Seconds Before The Storm.

Your Senses Tingle,

Little Hairs…

Stretching Up Along Your Name,

(Screaming.)

They Extend Ever So Delicately,

(Out To Meet And Greet,)

This Spike In Energy Surrounding You.

I Became Enthralled With

A Three-headed Monster,

I Yet To Figure Why,

(Or Even How;)

I Came To Cross Paths

With This Beast.

He Did Not Begin

With Three Heads…

Oh No,

One Developed After Another…

(Such Consequence Of Lust.)

I Met This Monster Whilst Living

With Peter And Paul At Lilly.

I Had Finally Taken My Independence…

Though,

I Find Myself Trapped

Within A Leased Living Situation.

He First Came To Me As “The Green Man:”

This Beast Was Timid,

(Sweet.)

He Wrapped Me Up

Within A Fish Line,

Whispered Within Me,

“Would You Like To Finish My Line?”

White Powdery Snow,

All Diced,

Presented Neatly Within 3 Row.

It Was He,

(The First To Plague Me.)

He Played Many Games,

(He Was A Master Upon Hiding Masks,)

Disguised As True Faces,

(Blurrier Facts.)

He Captured My Attention,

As It Had Been Longingly Neglect;

Draped Upon Destination.

I Dazed…

I Wanted To Know Everything About Him,

The First Indulged In This Sin:

Coincidentally Landed My Residence,

Directly Aside Him.

We Shared A Porch,

On A Long Day He’d Pop In;

Light My Torch.

I Began To Surround

Myself Within His Life,

Enthralled With An Idea Of Love:

I Lured Him From His Woman,

She Fast Asleep,

(Three Doors To The Right.)

I Justified This

(A Test Of Flight.)

See, I Was There First:

I Had Put In The Time.

So When I Rejected,

I Fucked Them All;

Just Passing The Time.

You See,

I Wanted To Prove To Myself,

“I Was Whole”:

The Fucker Who Faked Me,

Couldn’t Taint Me.

A Test Of Lust,

Spoiled Centuries Ago:

I’m Sorry Samantha,

“Future Husband”,

I Didn’t Know.

The Second Came To Me,

Within Drug-induced Haze:

The Bridge,

A Previous Life…

(Absurd,)

Drug Filled,

Strife;

I Found Myself Within.

Sitting Up A Psychedelic Mattress,

Shoved,

Upon A Corner Of

A Black-lit Warehouse,

Within My Living Room;

Half Naked,

Florescent Bodies Pass My Tomb.

Head Remain Stagnant,

Movement Upon The Pavement:

Fast Forwarded,

Repeat To Doom.

I Can Never Tell Who Is What,

Or What Is Who…

All That Is Determined:

A Mind Filled With Glamorous Clues;

(Only The Best Of Kinds.)

This Is What People

Forget To Talk About…

(While Dreaming Within The Mind.)

I Sat And Observed,

(The Happenings Upon Me:)

Wondering Exactly,

“How I Got Here, To Be.”

The Last Thing I Remember:

I Was Within University,

Flushed Within A Hurt Locker…

And Now?

A “Raver”?

The Steps And Processes,

Amongst These Two Destinations,

(Eternally Undetermined.)

The Process My Life

Path Become Directed:

Too Many Turns,

(Shortcuts,)

Dead Ends…

Mapping Out How;

I Ended Upon The

Darker Side Of The Moon.

(Loneliness And Pain

Can Attest To It, Too.)

This Beast Is One

You Cannot Recognize;

Infiltrates Your Life.

(Within An Instant.)

Fallen Within Infatuation,

(Such Sinful Feast,)

Such Frustration.

He Was A Vampire.

I Don’t Know What Came Over Me,

He Spoke:

Wrapped A Trans Around Me.

I Didn’t Want Anything;

Just To Listen.

I Do Not Fancy Myself,

(A Foolish Girl…)

Enough To Swoon Prematurely.

An Interesting Gift;

(Target Practice.)

A Neo-Siren,

(In Human Flesh.)

This Beast Sprouted Within Envy:

Almost At Instant,

A Click.

A Piece Of The Puzzle;

Somehow Found Way,

(Together,)

Meshing Perfectly,

(In Unity,)

A Sense Of Correction:

I Realized,

How Well We “Felt Together”,

(In Temptation.)

Overwhelming Sense,

Perfection:

Expanding As The Night Grew Wicked.

Thought Surrounding

How Well It “Fit”,

Forced My Conscious

To Smother My Subconscious;

Screaming,

“Don’t Let Him In!”

It Will Be Nothing,

I Didn’t Care,

I Missed The Feeling,

The Sense Of Clarity:

Butterflies Swarming,

A Sense Of Care.

Sexual Tension Grew Intense,

The Morning Crawled Across

The Horizon:

We Found Ourselves,

(Located In The Mist.)

Water Flowing,

Heating Up As He Peers Within Me;

Pinned Against The Wall,

(A Consensual Manner.)

Shower Door Gnawing Upon My Neck:

A Wolf,

(Attacking It’s Prey.)

I Begin To Pull Away;

“I’m Not A Foolish Girl…”

Most Do Not Recognize This Hesitation:

An Inner Debate Within Myself.

Contemplating;

How Exactly I To Play?

Give In?

Risk Losing Connection To Stay?

“If You Don’t Want To, Don’t.”

He Scaled My Throat,

Whispering Nothings Within One Ear:

“I Want To, But If You Don’t,

Then Don’t, Sweetheart.”

“I Know…”

Induced In Mesmerizing Haze:

He Leans Within, Whispers Softly,

“…You Know You Want To.”

This Was One Of The More Satisfying

Sexual Encounters I Come Across…

My Mind Is A Labyrinth,

Fine In Design:

Carved To Perfection,

Un-mastered,

(Without Devine.)

The Surface Of A

Practical Girl Is Apparent:

Below The Inner Workings,

A Genius Masterpiece,

(Transparent.)

In The Time This

Conversation Taken Place,

“Heat Of The Moment”,

(Blushed Upon My Face.)

My Brain Weighed Every Outcome:

Each Possible Scenario Could Blossom,

A Reaction,

The Situation,

(Currently At Bay.)

I Had Every Reason To Stop,

Allow This Boy To Shower;

Send Him Upon His Way.

He Was Charming,

Thoughtful,

Sweet,

Mostly Sexually Compatible, To Beat.

I Had Never Had Such Reaction Before…

“You Know You Want To,”

Rang Through My Ears,

Tantalizing My Lore:

Nothing Mattered

At This Point In The Show,

(Deal With Consequences

As They Arose.)

My Body Tingled;

He Touched Me

From Every Angle.

I Shivered;

Unable To Formulate Words…

Finding Sanctuary:

My Own Sexual Ecstasy.

I Was Caught.

I Had Felt Something,

For The First Time In Years.

The Days Past:

Zeke And I Spent A lot Of Time Together.

Nonetheless I had yet to bore of him.

This Was Different.

He Was Receptive;

An Intense Shiver

Pulsated My Entire Body.

I Couldn’t Wrap My

Head Around The Reasoning,

The Logic,)

How Interestingly Drawn

To This Man I Was.

I Was Level Headed:

I Wanted To Be With Him,

(Instead Of Needing To.)

Shot Of Rum,

Two Shots,

Three,

Four,

Shot And A Half Of Patron,

Shot Of Rum,

Two Screw Drivers,

Shot Of Fire Water,

Shot And A Half Of Rumplemintz.

I Sat On The Floor

Of A Third Story Parking Garage,

Arms Wrapped Within A Sobbing Boy:

Cringing,

Grasping His Side,

(Pain Eluding From His Torso.)

All I Could Think About

Was The Seductive Smell

And Velvet Touch Of His Skin.

His Words Were Untranslatable

Through sobbing,

Drunken Slur.

“I’m Going To Die

Within The Next Two Years,”

(Interrupted,)

Another Excruciating Grunt;

Coiling His Body Into Mine.

I Woke Up With The

Most Intense Hangover,

Zeke Nowhere To Be Seen.

Laying Upon A Pull Out Bed;

Dress From The Night Before,

Unzipped,

Stuck Around My Torso,

(Essentially Naked.)

I Had Never Seen

This Room Before:

My Roommate And Her Boy

Curled Next To Me,

Figuring…

I Hadn’t Gotten Kidnapped.

An Over Whelming Feeling,

Confusion Filled My Conscious.

A Woman I Had Never Seen Before,

Walked Out,

Began To Tidy Up.

Who The Hell’s House

Did We End Up At?

Why The Fuck Am I Naked?

How Did We Get Here?

I Finally Gain Full Consciousness;

Zeke’s Voice Rings

From Within The Bedroom

Next To Me…

This Was His Apartment…

And The Woman…

She Was His

Four Month Pregnant Fiancée.

“Are You Dating Someone Or Not?”

“No.”

“Then What The Hell

Is She Doing Living In Your House?”

“It’s Complicated,

You Know How That Is.”

I Had Been Made A Fool,

Once Again.

I Have Dropped Men

For Making A Wrong Pass:

He Had Pregnant Fiancé,

And A 14 Month Old Boy....

And I Found Myself With Him,

Not Even 24 Hours Post Haste.

I Could Not Pull Myself Away:

(His Draw Was Infectious.)

His Touch Sent

Chills Through My Body:

Circulated The Surface Of My Skin.

Individual Hairs Upon The Neck;

Arose To Great Him,

(Ever So Submissively.)

Lips Upon My Back,

Kiss Upon My Hand,

Forehead,

Shoulder…

The Clouds Descended From Skies,

Lifting Me Far Away,

(From My Horrible Life Choices.)

All Logic My Mind Could Conjure:

A Consistent Screaming,

“You Don’t Belong Here.”

I Read People,

(Psychologically:)

Actions,

Social Reactions,

Subsequent Personalities…

(Encountered Along The Path.)

Zeke Enjoyed Flaunting,

(Boasting,)

His Mediocre Talents:

Constantly Attempting To Sell

A Wet Soiled Rug For Couture.

I Quickly Came To My Senses:

He Was Not Mentally,

(Never-the-less,)

Emotionally Stable,

To Consider Dedicated Tolerance.

This Endlessly Loving

Nature Within Me:

This Get’s Me In Serious Trouble,

(Fucked:)

Obvious.

I Cannot Help But Try;

Guide Those Lost,

In Need Of A Beacon.

Though,

There Is This Point:

(You Must Realize,)

Your Golden Efforts Are Wasted…

On A Fucking Dirtbag.

Lessons Learned

Will Forever Receive Gratitude:

I Came Closer Toward

Spiritual Understanding

That Just May,

(Forever,)

Roll Along My Consciousness.

And:

Never Fuck Anyone,

You Meet At A Rave.

I Vaguely Remember,

Standing Upon A Worn Dock,

Affront A Lake;

(Somewhere In A Desert,)

Roughly Forty-five Minutes

Outside Mountain Home, Idaho.

I Moved Out Of Hell,

(Round One:)

Residing With Jade’s Lovers.

I Moved Back To My Parents In Boise,

(Sophomore Summer.)

Consisting The Same Drunken Bullshit,

Moscow Residents:

(Those Short Few Years.)

Had I Not Ended Up In This Desert,

My Life Would Be Utterly Estranged;

(The One I Know Now.)

Since I Moved Home,

Having Left My Boyfriend,

(Four Years:)

Boise Evolved,

(Uniquely Different Than Before.)

When We Left Peter,

He Took All The “Friends”,

With Him.

This,

(Though inconvenient,)

Had Little Effect On Me,

(Disregard Additional Abandonment:)

I’m Quite The Problem Solver.

I Never Had Problem ‘Making’ Friends:

A Sense Of Humor Renders

A Positive Social Outcome.

It Comes With The Territory:

(Abundance Of Personal Relations.)

People Of All Materials:

Separate Personalities,

(Backgrounds,)

Combining Upbringing And Free Will…

“Characters”;

(If You Will.)

They Swarm Me.

Left Friendless,

(Fend For Myself.)

Rekindling Past Connections,

The Oldest,

Most Dear Friendships;

Those Friends Of Your Childhood.

We Spent Our Nights

Dancing In The Streets,

Singing At The Top Of Our Lungs.

Those Midnight Trips To Ihop,

Watching The Stars Buzz By,

(The Years Of Our Youth.)

Coming Back Felt As Though,

(I Had Never Left.)

I Was The Only Piece Of The Puzzle,

(I Just Didn’t Fit;)

Intruding Upon Playful Embracing,

Weird Antics,

For Years,

I Had Been Lost:

Under My Anxious Desire,

“Grow Up”,

(Before My Time.)

Laying On A Blanket,

(Face Toward Heaven,)

Gazing Out Into The “Great Unknown”;

Wondering…

How Life Could Have Been,

(Had I Not Forced My Adolescence,)

Toward A Halt,

(So Prematurely.)

You See,

I’ve Been Looking For You.

I’ve Been Waiting Since I Was A Young Girl.

I’ve Made Mistakes,

Mistaken Your Love,

(For Those With Similar Attributes.)

As I Child,

(Raised On Princes And Princesses:)

I Knew,

I Wanted But One Dream.

I Wanted To Find True Love.

I Dreamt About It,

Since That Adolescent Day.

The “Prince”.

I Promised Myself:

Upon A Nineteenth Year,

I Would Find Love.

I Would Find Love Through Writing.

If I Could Light All The Fireworks,

(Those Spectacular Birthday Gifts;)

A Shot In The Dark,

Either They Would Find Me…

Or I Would Find Him:

The One…

Who Holds The Key To My Heart,

(By Unlocking My Mind.)

The One,

(To Co-write The Script.)

Knowing This Wonderful Group

Of Ladies Lead Me

To A Music Festival

In The Desert.

We Drove Two And Half Hours

South Of Boise;

Past Mountain Home,

(Into The Hills We Went.)

Car Packed:

Rave Costumes,

Coolers,

Miscellaneous Items,

Absorbing The Open Crevices

Of Her Tiny POS Car.

Waltzing Around The Campsite,

(Severely Under Dressed,)

I Came Across A Lovely Barbie Tent,

It Happened To Come With An Attractive,

Gentle Man,

(With Extraordinarily Large Gauges.)

I Approached Him;

Curious To What ‘L’ Stood For.

He Disappeared Within His Tent,

Returning With Two Hits Of Acid…

This Was The Beginning

Of My First Psychedelic Experience;

Something More Beautiful

Than Words Can Describe.

Opening My Mind

To Greater Aspects Of Life,

Simultaneously Throwing Me

Into A Summer Of Massive

Drug Abuse,

(A Turning Point Of Life.)

For So Many Years,

I’ve Viewed My World Through

Shaded ‘Black Abyss’ Glass:

Now Admiring The Rainbows,

Existing Upon Each Molecule,

(Placed Upon This Earth.)

It Wasn’t Until The End,

I Was Forced To Come To Terms,

(With Reality.)

My Own Tormenting Loneliness.

I Ran So Far Away,

Even Those Few Who Loved Me Dearly,

Could Not Find Me;

Driving Until I Could Not,

I Could Not Stop.

Drowning Out Excruciating Loneliness;

Meaningless Sex And Musical Compilations.

It Was Mid August, 2012.

I Had Been Working Full Time,

Managing A Modeling Agency.

Their Company Is A Scam,

They Owe Me Money….

Their Photographer Is A Rapist.

My Health Had Been Acting Up.

My Empire Of Friends Began To Fall.

The Household I Kept Running,

Slipping Out From Underneath Me.

My Mother Called Me,

Earlier That Day;

Explaining My Grandfather

Was Deathly Ill,

He Was In Intensive Care

In A Hospital In Montana.

She And My Brother

Were To Visit Him

in his final moments,

(Days Before.)

Stress And Turmoil Overwhelmed,

The Entirety Of Myself To Much.

The Tipping Point:

I Cannot Remember,

Being Able To Hear,

(Myself Think.)

Though,

I Adored My Boise Life,

What I Had Created As ‘My Own’,

I Had Become Stricken

With Exceeding Anxiety.

Losing My Breath,

(Functionality,)

A Loss Of Control.

My Body Frozen In Time;

Autopilot,

Cleanly Focus,

(Air Intake,)

Head Perfectly Placed,

(Between My Knees.)

Complete:

(Loss Of Disposition.)

I’m Highly Convinced,

This The Reason I Left;

(The Time Being.)

I Just Needed Out,

(Run Away;)

to rid myself of everything

and everyone

for even just a moment;

get in my car and drive.

It was two in the morning

and scheduled to work

the next morning,

put my license plates on my Chrysler,

packed up my car,

filled up my tank and drove.

I drove to the one place I knew,

the safety of my wonderland.

300 miles of highway

and I was free

(for even a brief moment,)

I was going back to Moscow.

I had driven this highway

religiously for years with company,

alone,

with my puppy,

this road was my sanctuary.

A long strip of blacktop for hours,

mountains crisp from the summer night

the moon’s light as my guide.

Drowning out the world

with highway and the ambience

of my stereo at full:

blinding my thoughts,

finally allowing my mind

come to peace

(the first time in months.)

Fuck,

I Just Want To Write.

Sometimes,

I Ponder What Type Of Brilliance

Could Become Explored;

Had I Only But A Microphone Within,

(Inner Dialogue.)

Only,

Wouldn’t That,

(In Turn,)

Become Nothing More Than This?

Scripted Product;

(Monetized And Exploited.)

A Chance Toward Physical Comfort,

(Enthralled Within Rich Man’s Game.)

In Such Case:

“Who Am I, But A Walk-in Closet?”

I Was Lost In The Woods That Night;

A Brisk August Evening,

(They Always Are.)

I Never Had The Chance

To Get To Know My Grandmother

On My Mother’s Side:

Afraid The “Crazy” May Just Rub Off On Me,

(I Suppose.)

There’s A Tight Little Pocket,

Tucked Along The Creases,

(Within My Mind:)

A Writing Desk,

(Pleasantly Designed.)

An Interrogation Style Lighting Fixture,

Gently Sways Back And Forth:

Counting The Ticking Of My Sanity,

(Tucked Away For Safe Keeping.)

Peace.

I’m Sure,

My Ancestry Contains

Brilliantly Unique Individuals.

My Mother “Claims” To

Withhold any Artistic Talents;

Though,

I Always Suspected This Was A Farce,

(Both Her Parents Were Beautiful Artists,)

Exploring Humanity In The Seventies.

I’m Afraid,

I Feel Sinful:

Drenched Within My Own

Egotistical Self Awareness.

A Mediocre Snail,

Attempting To ‘Keep Up’.

The Ocean Swallowed

Two Children Saturday:

What Gives Me The Right?

(Wallowing In My Own Lack Of Esteem.)

My Heart Broke In Two:

(A Parents Living Nightmare.)

That Sort Of Grief

Is Unbeknownst To Me,

(Within Complex Contemplation.)

My Grandmother Was A Writer:

My Mother Told Me

Of Various Notebooks,

Filled With Her Scrambled,

Neurological Connections.

Her Work Eternally Unread:

She Expressed Diligently To My Mother,

“One Day,

I’ll Allow You To Read These,

Then You Should Finally Understand Me.”

One Brisk August Morn,

Beneath A Pale, Idahoan Moon…

She,

(And All Her Notebooks,)

Where Gone;

(Burnt To Ash,)

Engulfed In A House Of Flame.

I Was Thirteen When

Those Calls Came In…

It Became Very Dark In My Household.

I Do Believe My Parents Attempted,

(Keep The Heavy Shit From Hitting Us,)

As Adolescents.

It’s An Interesting Bundle;

(Upbringing Quarks,)

When You’re The Eldest, Middle Child.

My Parents Raised

My Two Youngest Aunts:

(Grandma Did A Lot Of Drugs.)

The Girls Fit Nicely,

Within The Creases Of Our

Middle Class Starter Home.

It Was A Full House;

We Had Bullies Of Macaroni,

And Heads Filled Of Disney.

I Am The Eldest Sibling Of My Family;

(Raised As An Overlooked Middle Child.)

I Feel As If,

(This Writing Desk,)

Shall Be A Dense Forest Green;

Topped With A Fir Slab,

Sculpted And Oiled To Move With You…

Nothing Like A Sharp Corder In The Ass,

(Pondering Midnight Thought.)

Grandma And Grandpa Died On The Same Day:

(Some Would Say Roughly The Same Time,)

Six Years Apart…

(One Brisk August Morn.)

My Grandpa,

(I Believe,)

Gave His Life…

For Mine.

A Barter Traded:

His Time Was Up.

I Escaped With My Life,

Though, I Saw Him There:

(The Elk Man.)

He Comes To All:

Wearing Separate Names

And Alternate Devices…

Most Call Him “Death”;

(The Language Of It Muddles Within Muck.)

His Presence Hold The Opposite Anxiety:

(A Calm Liquidity.)

Holding Stern Awoken Emotion;

He Took The Fawn,

(Instead.)

I Stared Him Directly Within The Eye,

(Dead,)

Walking Amongst This Silence,

(Again.)

I Should Have Known:

“Turn Around,”

Highway Closing Down,

(Behind Me,)

Mountain Charred,

(Ablaze.)

I Barely Saw Her,

Moments Before She Hit My Windshield.

I Saw A Black Figure Of A Very Slim Man;

Sitting Upon The Bench Seat,

(Whilst Checking The Rearview Mirror.)

I Only Turned Briefly,

(Startled By Tricks Of The Mind:)

There She Was,

Blinded And Frozen Within Headlight,

Flying Eighty-Five Miles Per Hour,

(Directly Into Her.)

I Blacked Out Before She Hit My Hood:

Upon Woke,

I Attempted To Start My Vehicle.

Unresponsive,

(Steering Wheel Bent In Half.)

It Was Between Four And Five AM:

One Brisk August Morn.

My Grandfather Passed

During This Same Pocket In Time:

Liver Failure And Hepatitis,

In A Hospital In Montana.

My Mother And Brother Traveled There,

(To Be With Him.)

I Was Covered In Blood And Glass,

Shredded And Sparkling From Head To Tow:

Cuddling An Oversized Frog,

Named ‘Tuesday’.

I Was Nineteen:

(Disoriented,)

Standing In The Midst

Of A Lonely Highway…

(Within Witching Hour.)

I Made It To Wonderland:

I Went There To Escape.

It Was Tarnished Before;

(The Following Week Left It’s Wake…)

I Was So Reckless With Myself, Then.

I Have Come To Notice:

Loneliness,

(Associated With Abundance Of Greed.)

Career Driven Individuals,

Means To Live A Thousand Lifestyles;

(Luxurious Desire,)

Though,

Is This The Life

One Truly Desires To Lead?

All The Means Of Happiness;

Yet,

No Compatible Soul To Share It With.

No One To Call,

(When You’re Sad:)

No One To Hold,

(When Grief Strikes By Surprise.)

This Life I Once Lived,

(Found Joy Within;)

Evolved Within This Sick,

(Disgusting,)

Reality Check.

Selfish,

Self-driven;

(My Lonely Existence,)

Amplified Five Minutes Post,

(My Grandfather’s Funeral.)

Sitting Affront The Alter,

(Holding My Emotions Stagnant,)

Un-phased By Grief,

(This “Flow” Of Emotion Surrounding Me.)

I Trained Myself Long Before This Moment;

To Kill All Those waves Within,

(Deep Inside.)

Logically Accepting Loss,

(A Natural Phase Of Life,)

Disregarding Empathetic Understanding,

This Downpour Of Tears,

(Surrounding Me.)

The Service Came To A Close,

Faces Melting Before Me:

I Gave The Final Eulogy.

I Sat Among This Puddle Of People,

Gazing Across My Parents Yard;

Watching The Sunlight Glisten,

(Bounce,)

Off Individual Blades Of Grass,

(Upon This Acre Of Sod.)

Random Shimmering Droplets,

Water Glistening Together,

(In Beautiful Harmony.)

Euphoric Ambience Of

The Waterfall My Father Built,

A Gift For My Mother;

(In The Passing Of Her Father.)

Muttering My Thoughts:

Awareness Drained

From Within My Mind.

Sitting Amongst Myself,

(Numb Nothingness;)

Observing The Earth Engulfing Me,

(An Unconscious Haze.)

Awoken From My Hypnotic State;

A Gentle Tap Upon My Arm.

People Whom I Had Never Met,

People Who Knew My Name…

I Hadn’t The Slightest

Clue Who They Were;

Associated To My

Grandfather In Some Way.

They Told Me Stories,

(Boasting About Me To Them.)

This Significant Pride,

This Passion He Felt

Towards My Future.

I Was The Apple Of His Eye,

Awareness Brought Through

Distant Stories,

(Marked By Strangers:)

Talking Faces,

Reminding Me…

My Inadequacy,

To Appreciate Anyone…

(Even Myself.)

I Hadn’t Realized

The Incredible Man,

(I Strongly Resemble,)

Had Slipped Away From Me;

(Previous To This Discovery.)

A Dagger Entered

My Chest At Blunt Force:

I Lost My Breath.

Suppression:

That Masterful Dam Of Tears,

(Locked Away Years Before,)

Could Not Halt

This Uncontrollable Sob.

I Sat There,

(Face Tucked Between My Knees;)

Soaking A Black And White

Pin-stripped Dress,

(Melting Into Utter Despair,)

I Couldn’t Help But Realize…

Not One Soul,

(Within A Fifteen Foot Radius Of Me.)

There Was No One There,

(To Hold My Hand.)

There Was No One There,

(To Just Hold Me…)

When I Needed It Most.

A Hollow Mold,

There To Put Me Back To Form,

(After Melting Away.)

I Was Alone.

No “Friend” Came For Support.

The Touch Of A Man’s Embrace,

Driven From Genuine Empathy,

Had Been Long Since Washed Away.

Leaving Me.

The World I Had Once

Created For Myself:

Endless Parties,

Adolescently Exhilarating Experiences…

A Never Forgotten,

(Official,)

End To My Loveless Cold Interior.

I Was Not Happy,

I Was Honestly Alone…

(I Had Only Myself To Blame.)

I Had Met My Third

Beast Two Years Prior.

He Was My Tattoo Artist.

“W” Was Charming:

I Respected His Marriage.

I Did Not Intentionally Ruin A Family.

It Started Playful,

He Led Me To Believe

He Was Already Separated

From His Wife

When I Began Flirting With Him.

I Had Sent Him A “Harmless Photo”,

A One Piece Bathing Suit,

Nothing Terribly Scandalous.

She Texted Me…

(His Wife,)

Asking Why I Had Sent

That To Her Husband…

(Suppose She Hadn’t Gotten The Memo, Yet.)

He Lied:

He Lied To Me,

He Lied To Her.

My Cold Interior Hadn’t Fully Thawed:

I Justified My Actions As A Fault Of His.

I Could Have Been A Moral Human:

I Could Have Walked Away,

Tattooed My Shame In Invisible Ink…

Instead,

I Looked The Other Way.

I Had Scheduled A Tattoo Appointment,

The Day After My Grandfather’s Funeral.

Coincidently,

This Appointment Was Planned

Prior To His Passing.

I Had Requested A Change

Of Artwork For Our Appointment,

A Rose,

Upon My Neck,

In Condolence.

A Piece Of Color Behind My Ear,

Whispering:

“I Believe In You,

Just Believe In Yourself.”

I Refused To Sleep

With Another Married Man,

The Damage Was Done.

My Refusal To Walk Away,

My Desire To Keep Coming Back,

This Is The Beast That Birthed My Insect.

For I Held Integrity,

I Listened To His Lies:

I Remember Letting Him

Fuck Me From Behind,

(Just Two Weeks

Into Their Separation.)

Sure,

They Weren’t Going To Be Together:

Sure,

I Would Assume,

(I Couldn’t Have Been The Only…)

Or Maybe I Was.

Maybe I Had Fucked Up

So Many Committed Hearts,

The Universe Fed Me A Beetle.

An Insect To Devour My Heart,

Little By Little,

A Seven Year,

Convert Counter Attack;

(Payment For My Adolescent Recklessness.)

I Had Made It Up,

(Within My Mind,)

He Gave A Fuck About Me.

I Actually Gifted Him An Original Painting,

(A Tip For A Tattoo Well Done.)

I Looked Forward To “Pretending”,

Feeling Like A Real Girlfriend,

(Again.)

I Think I Was Most Blinded,

My Insatiable Desire,

(Leave Lust Behind.)

I Am Sorry.

To All The Women

I Have Intentionally Harmed,

(To All Those Whom I Left

Unconscious Scars.)

I Am A Soft Ball Of Love,

(Within A Cast Iron Armor Heart.)

I Was Blinded By Ego

Guided My Actions Through

A Thin Stained Glass.

I Gave Myself Morale,

(Excuses For My Actions,)

Excuses To Live With,

(My Despicable “Love” Choices.)

W Fucked My Roommate

Just A Month Later…

On My Living Room Floor,

He Left Me In My Bed

After Falling Asleep Cuddling.

He Made A Point,

“We Were Not Exclusive”:

My Heart Doesn’t Work Like That.

Love Is A Very Serious Matter:

It Is Not Something To Be Thrown Around,

An Old Rag Doll Through All Paths,

(A Muse.)

I Wouldn’t Know Love,

I’ve Only Experienced Lust And Abuse.

Ive Been Abandoned By Everyone I Know;

Every Friend I Hold An Arms Length,

For Even As A Child,

My Aunt Would Manipulate

Those Against Me.

So Why Wouldn’t I Expect

You To Do The Same?

Why Could I Imagine,

(From A Perspective

That’s Rendered “Sane”…)

That Any Chance Of A Fairytale;

Would Become Anything

(More Than Fucking Mundane.)

You See,

I’m A Bad Person.

I Make Bad Decisions.

I Am Blinded By An Idea Of Love,

That I Have Yet To Prove Exists.

Greased Handprint

(Across My Desktop Screen,)

Hiding My Communication,

A Source Of SOS,

(Unseen.)

Shivering In Physical Fear,

With Tears Falling Down My Face,

As I Dealt With The Wrath,

Unveiling From A Hummingbird

That Swarmed My Psyche,

(Maced.)

I’m A Foolish Fucking Woman,

I Should Have Learned By Now.

I May Be “A Bad Guy”,

(But So Are You.)

Meddling In Others Realities

Renders “Unkind.”

You’re Not Up To Par,

(Within My Mind.)

How Could I Tell You,

“I Love You,”

When You Don’t Exist?

An Imaginary Creature

Within My Mind,

A Shapeshifter,

“Love Blind”.

Didn’t Your Mother Ever Teach You?

Don’t Underestimate Repercussions,

Ripples,

(Aftershock,)

Simulated By Motives Guided In Fear.

You Don’t Deserve Me Anyway,

My Motives Are Proven Clear.

I Have No Malicious Intentions:

(I Only Wish To Share Communication,)

Respectful Sensations,

Soft Reciprocated Empathy,

A Beautiful Nightlife Calla Lilly,

(Blossomed Inside Me.)

I’m Searching For Peace,

A Secure Foundation,

Trust And Security,

(Loving Intention.)

This Is When I Run:

(I Deserve This.)

You See,

You’re A Pussy Ass Bitch.

I Died That Night,

Within The Lost Forest.

I Remembered What I Felt Like To Fall,

Before I Rendered Weak,

(A Love Tourist.)

I Leaped From My Platform,

You Hit Your Fucking Speed Boat;

While I Trembled In Fear,

(Carrying Keys Upon My Breast

For Psychological Security:)

Dead In The Eye,

A Wrathful Beatle Looming Near:

Your Cannon Wrecked My Fucking Ship,

I Feared My Life For Hollow Rhymes.

I Abandoned That Sinking Ship,

Treading Water

As Long As I Could Stand.

I Watched As That Emergency Flare

Flew Upon The Air,

Hit The Water,

Turnt Pink Mist Across The Waves.

I Took A Final Breath,

Into The Ocean I Sank:

Growing Gills And A Tale,

A Siren I Became.

I Fell:

You Fucking Ran,

It Is My Own Foolish Fault.

Fuck You.

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