#so I'd like to try and include one even if my verse is probably more queer friendly than reality

[melien]

#sims #ts3 #sims 3 #photoshoots #character verse #gaia bethancourt #she's one of the side characters to freya's story #her berry version was #guava blush #I have a few ideas for her #so she goes on a few dates with keegan right #I'm not really sure how to incorporate these things in my verse because almost all my characters are queer and it's quite normalised #but I'm getting a strong vibe that she's compheting with keegan and repressing her true attraction to women #because I've been in similar situations (trying to force yourself to like some nice guy but feeling icky) #I'm still thinking maybe heteronormativity indeed exists in the verse depending on how you were raised #I just find comphet stories very relatable as someone who's both wlw and demisexual #so I'd like to try and include one even if my verse is probably more queer friendly than reality #sure it could be spinned as keegan just not being the right person but... idek if it would have the same emotional value #I think one of the reasons why I made my verse like this was also me not wanting to have all the queer stories focused on homophobia #and just let my characters exist like normal people without anyone batting an eye #which I often see in other sims games and stories too and it's so validating #but I guess it kind of depends on my mood whether I want a perfect queer utopia or to actually bring up and deal with real life issues

[mistressoftherant-blog]

TMNT Fandom Issues

I think I've already mentioned this before, but I've been seeing it happen more and more lately, and it's infuriated me enough to make another post about it. Can people please stop dragging other turtles and other 'verses in where they have no relevance?

I was watching some Donnie vids on TikTok and, without fail, almost every video had someone in the comments going, "Oh, but Mikey solos", "Oh, but Leo solos", etc, etc.

No one cares. Genuinely, wholeheartedly, someone making a post showing cool clips of Donnie fighting or being angry, is not inviting a bunch of people to come whining in the comments about how much cooler their fave is.

I see this the most with Mikey fans who refuse to shut up about The Last Ronin or Rise!Mikey and will shove them into everything, even posts that they have absolutely no connection to.

I was mostly watching videos of 12!Donnie, and whenever I looked in the comments, there'd be someone mentioning how one of the other turtles solo. And whenever anyone would be like, "well, Mikey doesn't actually solo', The Last Ronin would be wheeled out as an argument.

The Last Ronin has no bearing on any other iterations. Just because Mikey is the last one standing, and is incredibly strong, in that version does not mean that he's the strongest in every version. If any other turtle was the last one standing, they'd probably end up just as strong as The Last Ronin. Even so, stop drawing Last Ronin into conversations that aren't about him. If I'm discussing 03!Donnie for example, I do not want to hear about how amazing Last Ronin supposedly is. The character and plot do not interest me at all, and every time it's thrust into my view by someone clumsily trying to take attention away from another character or 'verse, it makes me even less inclined to ever give it a go.

And before anyone comes at me with the whole "Mikey has the most potential canonically", I would like to highlight that having the most potential and being the strongest are not the same thing. If he put more effort in, sure, maybe he'd be the strongest in every 'verse. But as it stands, the strongest is usually Raph, and the best fighter is usually Leo and/or Raph. (No, I am not counting Rise!Mikey as the strongest turtle to ever exist because most of his physical strength is reliant on his mystic powers. The Bayverse boys can straight up yeet storage containers with no powers).

Also, just because Donnie is usually one of the weaker fighters (I would argue that he is one of the strongest in 87 and Rise, though Rise weirdly tries to nerf him after the Draxum fight), doesn't mean that he can't keep up with his brothers. He is not weak. They all work with heavy machinery, train daily, and are great with strategy for the most part.

Deliberately going onto posts/vids/fics only to diss the character that they are about and try to shove your own fave down people's throats is not going to win you any friends. It's insufferable. Why don't I start going on any posts about Mikey or Leo and say how dumb they are compared to Donnie? It would be an unfair comparison as Donnie is made to be the smart one, but that's what Leo and Mikey stans keep doing to Donnie content. Donnie isn't meant to be the strongest or the best fighter, which I've accepted, but that doesn't mean he isn't a BAMF in his own right, with some pretty cool fight scenes.

If content does not contain your fave character, do not shoehorn them in, and/or degrade the character it's actually about. It's rude, annoying, and it's part of the reason that certain parts of the fandom (*cough* Rise *cough*), get such a bad reputation. All you are doing is making people hate your favourite characters and series, which means less chance of getting content including them.

Also, Rise!Fans, stop trying to make Mayhem posts about Risem I saw a video saying that the fight scenes in Mayhem are awesome (which they are, the animation I'd beautiful and the flow of the fights scenes is handled incredibly well), and one of the first comments was about how "I've not watched the movie yet, bit I doubt that they can beat the Rise first scenes." Firstly, if you havent watched the movie, shut up. You cant compare something you haven't seen with something that you already watched. Secondly, it is entirely possible to say that the fight scenes in both are great. Here, I'll do out right now, I think every iteration of TMNT have some great fight scenes, and Rise and Mayhem bitj definitely have something beautifully animated and choreographed scenes.

Honestly, the fandom has started making me hate most versions of Mikey on principle because they constantly force incorrect characterisations of him down my throat (he's the strongest/wisest/best at feelings, but he's also a sweet abuse little uwu bean that can do no wrong. He's incredibly smart but also mega innocent. He's amazing at reading people, but he also.just wants to believe the best of everyone. It's all so contradictory, and pretty much none of it ever actually fits Mikey).

It's the same with Rise Leo. Most of the fandom seems to make him into someone he's not, siphoning personality traits from other characters and iterations (like making him team medic, making him the one that likes to dance and sing, or the one that gets on my nerves the most, making him as smart as Donnie. That isn't his role, and none of the turtles are ever as smart as Donnie. Don't even try and fight me on that. Leos may be more strategic, but in outright booksmart intelligence, every Donnie takes the cake).

I feel like I'm probably going to get a lot of complaints about this seeing how popular Mikey and Rise!Leo are, but I am just so sick of trying to enjoy content for Donnie when every other comment section is being flooded by people dragging him to try and make their fave appear superior. If you want to gush about Mikey or Leo, go to content made about them where your input will be appreciated, rather than deliberately pissing other people off.

This may possible be my longest rant yet 😅 Congratulations to anyone who made it this far down!!

#tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt raph #tmnt raphael #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leo #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2003 #rottmnt #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2k7

[nihilnothings]

I just recently noticed the similarities between Aqua and Akane's relationship to Hikaru and Ai

This isn't really a new profound theory as I found it on some obscure part of the Internet but I'd like to share some light on it because I just noticed it all of a sudden.

Ruby is usually the go to when people describe someone similar as Ai, after all she is a spitting image of her but blonde, has that similar charisma that draws in people to her, and eventually in traditional Hoshino fashion uses lies as a means to an end.

However, Ruby isn't the only one with similarities to Ai, Aqua too is also similar to his mother, at least when it comes to some aspect of his love life lol but even if they aren't physically similar Aqua too has similarities with his mother, in which they use lies as an expression of their love (The difference being Ai yearns for love while Aqua feels like he doesn't deserved to be loved) wouldn't be her son at all if they don't share anything in common after all!

The parallels so far are mostly on how their love lives are similar:

Both are entertainers who got entangled with Lala Lai Theatre Troupe members for a specific goal in mind

Eventually they started to get romantically involved with one another

They both then experienced a fallout for different reasons (Aqua can't bring himself to have Akane be involved for her safety while Ai started falling out due to the pregnancy, though further details might reveal more on their fallout because ain't no way it's just because of that)

They then started to oppose each other (Akane is actively planning to stop Aqua from self-destructing while REDACTED for reasons unknown went back to murdering again and killed his lover)

That's where the similarities end and where the differences start within this parallel.

In the case of Ai she was the older one, while in the case of Aqua he was the younger one lol (if we don't include his past life that is)

REDACTED opposes Ai but his motives are out of malice (unless Ai did something so bad to him that warrants murder and more murders following that, he is an evil piece of crap for ruining the lives of his children and many others), Akane opposes Aqua but her motives are pure, which is to save him from self-destructing (I personally don't think Akane wants Aqua to not chase after REDACTED as someone as smart as she is knows how dangerous he is, she's probably trying to stop him from destroying himself and find a much "healthier" way to stop him.)

The romance between Ai and REDACTED ended in a very bitter note to the point of Ai getting murdered by him. The fate of Aqua and Akane is still uncertain.

Aqua who is compared to "Ai" is the "bad guy" while Akane who is REDACTED is the "good guy" opposite to how REDACTED and Ai was, though further details of their relationship might shed more light on how they are.

Now the question stand, do these parallels mean anything? Maybe or maybe not, I just found the observation to pique my interest and considering I can't predict the current journey of the story, I'll leave all of this as me speculating.

If it were true though, I suppose these parallels are a way for the author to allude the trajectory of how their relationship might go. A lot of dark things are currently happening within the OnK-verse but I don't see this series to have a downer end, it'll probably be a light after dark ending where after all the shit that the characters have been through, they all will live knowing that they've won against their struggles.

Using this Tokyo Blade panel as a complement to this observation, I suppose if Ai and REDACTED's relationship concluded in a horrible note (but at least Ai managed to die knowing she was capable of "real love) then Aqua and Akane might succeed where their predecessors failed, by making amends and loving for real.

#aquakane #kurokawa akane #oshi no ko #aqukane #hoshino aqua #hoshino ai #hikaru kamiiki #onk

[lipshits-continuous]

Prime numbers of the ask game let's go!

This is gonna be a long old post haha /pos

2. What math classes did you do best in?:

It's joint between Analysis in Many Variables (literally just Multivariable calculus, I don't know why they gave it a fancy name) and Complex Analysis. Both of which I got 90% in :))

3. What math classes did you like the most?

Out of the ones I've completely finished: complex analysis

Including the ones I'm taking at the moment:

Topology

5. Are there areas of math that you enjoy? What are they?

Yes! They are Topology and Analysis. Analysis was my favourite for a while but topology is even better! (I still like analysis just as much though, topology is just more). I also really like group theory and linear algebra

7. What do you like about math?

The abstractness is really nice. Like I adore how abstract things can be (which is why I really like topology, especially now we're moving onto the algebraic topology stuff). What's better is when the abstract stuff behaves in a satisfying way. Like the definition of homotopy just behaves so nicely with everything (so far) for example.

11. Tell me a funny math story.

A short one but I am not the best at arithmetic at times. During secondary school we had to do these tests every so often that tested out arithmetic and other common maths skills and during one I confidently wrote 8·3=18. I guess it's not all that funny but ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

13. Do you have any stories of Mathematical failure you’d like to share?

I guess the competition I recently took part in counts as a failure? It's supposed to be a similar difficulty to the Putnam and I'm not great at competition maths anyway. I got 1/60 so pretty bad. But it was still interesting to do and I think I'll try it again next year so not wholly a failure I think

17. Are there any great female Mathematicians (living or dead) you would give a shout-out to?

Emmy Noether is an obvious one but I don't you could understate how cool she is. I won't name my lecturers cause I don't want to be doxxed but I have a few who are really cool! One of them gave a cool talk about spectral geometry the other week!

19. How did you solve it?

A bit vague? Usually I try messing around with things that might work until one of them does work

23. Will P=NP? Why or why not?

Honestly I'm not really that well versed in this problem but from what I understand I sure hope not.

29. You’re at the club and Grigori Perlman brushes his gorgeous locks of hair to the side and then proves your girl’s conjecture. WYD?

✨polyamory✨

31. Can you share a math pickup line?

Are you a subset of a vector space of the form x+V? Because you're affine plane

37. Have you ever used math in a novel or entertaining way?

Hmm not that I can think of /lh

41. Which is better named? The Chicken McNugget theorem? Or the Hairy Ball theorem?

Hairy Ball Theorem

43. Did you ever fail a math class?

Not so far

47. Just how big is a big number?

At least 3 I'd say

53. Do you collect anything that is math-related?

Textbooks! I probably have between 20 and 30 at the moment! 5 of which are about topology :3

59. Can you reccomend any online resources for math?

The bright side of mathematics is a great YouTube channel! There is a lot of variety in material and the videos aren't too long so are a great way to get exposed to new topics

61. Does 6 really *deserve* to be called a perfect number? What the h*ck did it ever do?

I think it needs to apologise to 7 for mistakingly accusing it of eating 9

67. Do you have any math tatoos?

I don't have any tattoos at all /lh

71. 👀

A monad is a monoid in the category of endofunctors

73. Can you program? What languages do you know?

I used to be decent at using Java but I've not done for years so I'm very rusty. I also know very basic python

Thanks for the ask!!

#maths posting #mathblr #maths #mathematics #lipshits asks #ask game #long post

[coquelicoq]

First I'd like to say, it's a pretty impressive list of french books to have read in only 12 months! (even for a french speaker ngl).

I'm not super well versed in classic literature, novel wise (tho I liked "le dernier jour d'un condamné" by Hugo, "la promesse de l'aube" by Romain Gary, and as cliché as it may be I adore "le petit prince") but if you like theater ! In classics I’d recommend "Phèdre" and "Iphigénie" by Racine, Molière ("le malade imaginaire" and "les fourberies de scapin" are personal favorites),"Hernani" by Hugo again (♡♡), and for more modern stuff "Rhinocéros" and "la cantatrice chauve" by Ionesco. Oh, and "Huis Clos" by Sartre!

In poetry, first of all I think Villon is a great, and brave choice especially if you have it in old french (one of my all time favorite poem is his, "la ballade des pendus"). Otherwise, Baudelaire, Rimbaud, Verlaine and Apollinaire !

In a bit more modern things, if you liked Queneau I’d say give "Zazie dans le métro" a try – tho the way he plays with vocabulary and spelling in this one can be challenging (but it is very fun). Then "Au bonheur des ogres" and "La fée carabine" by Daniel Pennac (I assume the rest of "La saga malaussène" is good too but I have only read those two so far), "escalier C" by Elvire Murail (this one is a big big big fave of mine ♡♡♡), "mercure"by Amélie Nothomb (she’s super prolific but this is the one I remember really enjoying).

For sci-fi, I realize I am not very up to date with what french literature proposes. It’s been quite some time but I remember enjoying “le cycle des fourmis” and “les thanatonautes” + “l’empire des anges” by Bernard Werber. Also “les lutteurs immobiles” by Serge Brussolo. My mother is a harcore fan of Pierre Bordage, so I will slip his name here too. Then I don’t know if you enjoy reading short stories, but in between some scifi/fantasy/fantastique I can rec “la vieille anglaise et le continent – et autres récits” by Jeanne-A Débats, “notre dame aux écailles” and “le jardin des silences” by Mélanie Fazi, Oh and in … I guess technically fantasy? But bordering historical fiction bc of the realism, “chien du heaume” and the next one “mordre le bouclier” by Justine Niogret are two very good short novels.

I am probably missing a ton of great titles, but my brain is failing me and I have very few books in french here (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) (most of them stayed, well. In France). But this makes me think I really need to get back into actually reading in french – so I am adding Valérie Perrin to my lists for sure!

omg thank you for these recs!! this is so detailed and specific, i love it. you're reminding me i've read several of these before, like i had forgotten about rhinocéros but we read it in high school and i really loved it! i should reread that and/or read some other ionesco for sure. speaking of absurdist plays, have you read en attendant godot? i've read it in english but i know it was in french originally so i've been thinking about trying that. big fan of french absurdism.

i also read a lot of molière in high school french classes (i remember giving an extremely boring and long-winded presentation (for everyone else; i was super into it) on his plays to my english class for some reason??), which is how i first learned what a cuckold is lol. and of course we read some baudelaire but i really want to revisit him! also omg apollinaire is the calligramme guy, right? those rewired my brain. i will check out more of his stuff for sure. and it's good to have the names of some other heavy hitters so i can expand out to cover more than was included in my formal education obvi. (like i have read zero racine? which seems like an oversight in curriculum, but what do i know.)

i do have villon in old french 😩 or i guess technically middle french is what he was writing in. the reason i've been putting it off is that right after the preface there's a four-page section on "graphie et prononciation" and i was just like hmmmm is this really something i need to be introducing into my life at this formative time. like i'm still sort of coming to terms with modern french spelling and pronunciation and this seems like it might just confuse me. so i might not be quite ready, but it's here for me when i've leveled up lol.

i loved the one book by queneau i've read so far, so i super appreciate getting recs for other works by him. and i read one amélie nothomb a few years ago, but when i went to look at what else i could read by her i got so overwhelmed by the sheer number that i couldn't pick! so it's good to have your suggestion for a particular title 😊 i've not heard of the other people you mentioned but will look into them!

thank you so much for pointing me in some scifi/fantasy directions 👀📝 i will take a look at these authors and titles...

yeah i super recommend changer l'eau des fleurs, and i know valérie perrin has written at least two other novels, so i'm gonna try to get my hands on those! the challenge now is that whenever i try to buy books from overseas my credit card company marks it as fraud and cancels the transaction lol. my grandmother found this us-based company that imports books from france and really wants to get me some more french-language books for christmas, but their selection isn't huge. this gives me lots of ideas though and i'm sure they will have at least some of the books you mentioned! thank you again, you really came through 🥰🥰

#always looking out for me...you're a legend for real #french #to read #asks #not anon #also le petit prince is cliche FOR A REASON #absolute classic. i haven't reread but only because 1) i don't own it and 2) it is extremely emotionally potent and i'm not sure i am #in a place to have my heart dissected right now #mais si tu m'apprivoises ma vie sera comme ensoleillée... #j'y gagne à cause de la couleur du blé. #<-GET OUTTA HERE WITH THAT SHIT! I'M TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE!!!!

[mixelation]

I always love how you manage to stick ‘working in a lab’ references into your fics and posts, and as a bio student trying to figure out wtf I’m going to do after college, may I please ask what it’s like to work in one, whether at school or elsewhere? Thank you!

P.S. I love your fics, omg. Tori is the chaotic little shit I dream of being in my everyday life (though preferably without the psychotic ninjas that could, and would, kill me. Even if that builds character lol). You make every character HILARIOUS and awesome to read. And I would def read that Tobirama fic if you ever released it, love how she is falling in love cause he’s hot and cool and her soulmate while he’s like ‘omg finally another semi-logical human being within all this b.s.’. And you know what, both completely valid, I also want a hot and awesome person who is also (mostly) well-versed in logic 🥲😂.

Hmmm I'd ay working in labs can be a really variable experience! For academic labs, they're usually set up in a way where you're just in one little group of people so lab culture becomes really important. In the lab where I worked as the lab manager, everyone mostly stuck to a strict 9-to-5 schedule with not a lot of socializing, but the lab I'm in now is more chaotic with people fitting their schedules to whatever else they have going on and we try to plan more social outings.

What you actually do in lab can vary a lot too. I've always been in a position where I do a shit ton of different tasks over the course of a week (including boring stuff no one talks about like making new reagents, or quizzing everyone on what supplies they're going to use this month so I can tell the PI what I think we should order because I never fully turned off lab manager brain), but some people end up doing literally just the same thing over and over. Like if you're really good at one type of assay a lab runs a lot? You might just get put in charge of doing it for everyone's experiments, or you might have your own experiment that literally just that assay fifteen times. It really depends on the structure of the lab.

In my previous job, I did a lot of taking over experiments for short amounts of time while we recruited a new student or someone took time off, and I did a lot of prep for experiments and follow-up assays (because I was the only one who knew how to use this one machine LMAO) and never had my own project, which was kind of frustrating but ALSO I never felt super bothered when experiments didn't work. Now I do have my own projects that I run, which I like, but I feel a lot more pressure to make those project succeed. If you go into a lab as an undergraduate, you'll probably start off helping someone on a project (and doing a lot of grunt work, like autoclaving trash lol) and then get more and more independent. Depending on how that goes and what you and your PI feel is best for you, independence might mean getting your own project, or it might mean you continue on in a similar role but now you're allowed to do more and more things unsupervised.

I like lab work a lot! I get to switch up my schedule a lot, so there's not a lot of monotony across the weeks, but I will add the caveat that a lot of bench work is really, really boring. There's a lot of repetitive tasks that are just "pipet a tiny amount of liquid into another liquid; repeat and repeat and repeat." There are a lot of tasks that are technically challenging. There's a pretty bad culture of bad work-life balance (my boss is super chill with me taking random time off, but I go in on a weekends a LOT). In research, you have to get used to and comfortable with failure, because for every successful experiment there are tons of failed ones. Yes, even if you're a super smart and high achieving student-- you will mess up, you will have everything fail, and you have to just clean it up, restrategize, and keep going. The upside is that you get to figure out cool things that no one knew before......!

#also thank you!!! #one day i will finish the tobirama fic...... one day.....!!!!

[averageclawcodeenjoyer]

Alright so as far as introductions go, I guess I should probably make one before I get too far into this.

HERES MY ABOUT ME POST!

My name's Leonardo, and you can call me any version of that that you want (Leo, Leon, Leonard, Nardo[my favorite], either way, it's all the same to me.) My pronouns are He/Him. I am an artist, author, animator, and a DEDICATED CLAWCODE ENTHUSIST (Hence the name)

I am also VERY autistic and don't get tone a lot, so tone tags are very important to me, especially when there's joking or sarcasm involved.

Ahem.

I know the Spiderverse Fandom isn't particularly alive (SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP) but I will try to post often, even if it's just a shitpost here and there. I really want to help feed into the ClawCode brain rot since the content for these two is SEVERELY FUCKING LACKING. So. If you have requests for things, I will probably end up doing them! My asks are always open, and I'd love to hear from anybody. I don't have any friends that love them the way that I do 😔😔

I have not had Tumblr before! Which is a little insane, so I'm new to all of this and learning how everything works. Please forgive me if I don't know the proper etiquette on this app lmao. My friend has been guiding me through all of this and told me to make an About Me post, so that's what I'm doing.

Here are some tags that will frequent my posts!

Yapping Hour - Will either be used for headcanons, or short stories/ideas/other ClawCode related crap. It's just going to be a general tag that will probably go on most of my posts from here on out.

Slur Gallery - Will be of the art I post of them, be it ship art or other :3 because everybody deserves a gallery of slurs to look at. AND JUST LOOK AT THEM!

Earworm - Is the tag I'll use when there's music involved, like songs that remind me of them (and the heavy analysis that goes with it **COMING SOON**), or animatics that I'm working on, or just anything that has to do with a song. Edits, artworks, the whole shebang.

Talkaholic - This will ALSO be used for mini stories/facfics, but more often than the yapping hour. So if you wanna read my writing of them that's what you can find it under.

Offline - will be under posts like these, where it isn't directly related to anything, just random blocks of text or other art that I feel like posting.

Oil And Water - THIS tag will be about the fanfic I am currently (excruciatingly slowly) writing! It doesn't have a happy ending and is meant to be a HEAVY angst story, like hurt/no comfort or very little comfort. I have one chapter out currently but will be working on more soon (and will make a separate post about it! But I will link it here as well. MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE IT /HJ)

Prowler Party - Is what I'll put on ALL of my posts as an extra way to help find me if one so desires d=(^o^)=b

OOC - On the chance that I might make something intentionally out of character, I will put this beneath it. I know a lot of people don't like mischaracterization, or incorrect portrayal of a character, but sometimes it's really fun to write, so I will be including that was well.

I think that's all that I can think of right now (I'm running off of an hour and 40 minutes sleep), but things may change or be edited in the future. But for now, I'll be signing off.

Shipwrecked - THIS WILL BE ABOUT MY SELKIE/SIREN AU BECAUSE IM ACTUALLY NOT OKAY ABOUT IT AND NEED TO SHARE MY INSANITY

HELLO AND THANK YOU TO THE WARM WELCOME I'VE RECIEVED!!

MORE COMIGN SOON

#about me post #introductory post #across the spiderverse #this blog is about the queers and the freaks ONLY /j #I don't know how to introduce myself #expecy more soon! #clawcode #clawcodenation #brain rot #Yapping Hour #Slur Gallery #Earworm #Talkaholic #Offline #ProwlerParty #OOC #Oil And Water #coming soon

[sisterdivinium]

I think someone mentioned mixing WN with D&D on Twitter a while back and I hope that, if so, "D&D" was being used as a synonym for RPG rather than actual D&D 5e (which you shouldn't really do because they aren't synonymous, but I know it's a common thing).

Adapting Warrior Nun into 5e rules seems a bit like fighting the system rather than working with it, at least to me.

Here is a game that depends on character classes -- how will you make it work when all characters will probably share the class of sister warrior? If the idea is to differentiate them through skills, then isn't it better to just ditch the concept of class altogether? Maybe take inspiration from something like Knave, Maze Rats, Cairn if one wishes to stick with a D&D-ish aura.

Fights in WN aren't all that long if you think about it; so how will you conciliate that with the HP sponges that 5e characters are? (An anecdote: the other day I saw someone complaining about their weak initial character, who had some 20 HP. Playing old school D&D, I've had players start with 4. Ask them if they weren't scared shitless of dying -- and if this fear didn't make them play smarter and end up valuing their PCs much more when they levelled up!)

The economy system of 5e (well, of D&D as a whole, really, including older editions) has very little in common with the one our favourite ass-kicking nuns would use -- would it even be necessary, if we assume the Vatican is responsible for providing them with gear?

I'm not asking any of these questions simply because I dislike 5e (which I do, I admit) or to dissuade people from mixing WN and RPGs (I even did it myself once and might or might not be doing it again with another play style and basic system in mind), I just ask that they take mechanics into consideration. 5e can be good for what it's made for (or so I'm told), but in this particular instance it seems inappropriate for WN.

If I may be so bold as to offer amateur designers some suggestions...

I'd start by taking a look at Nathan Paoletta's RPG Design Zine, just because it helps you think about what the hell you're doing.

Generic systems are just that, generic, but they can be much easier to adapt than something so heavily-coded for a certain type of game as 5e is. They can be more complicated (maybe GURPS, though you could go for Lite and consider getting, idk, Religion, Martial Arts, Low Tech, High Tech... Go explore) or lighter. I am a gigantic fan of Freeform Universal Classic, but you could do something cool with FATE or FAE, Mini Six, hell, I don't know! There's a good deal of generic systems out there.

You could be a little more daring, if versed in PbtA games, and hack one up yourself, why not?

All I'm saying is that you shouldn't be wrestling with the system to make this thing. Have it work for you, not against you; find something that can "translate" the show more easily than 5e does.

There's a whole world of games out there, a wealth of inspiration to work with. A lot of creators stick to 5e because it's popular and it helps them get visibility for their products -- and I don't fault them for it, but you aren't going to sell this, are you? You're not the IP owner. Others use 5e because "everybody knows the rules" -- which isn't true and, honestly, if you're going to change the whole thing up so it matches WN, then what's the use of knowing how rangers in a high fantasy campaign progress if you're playing nuns with guns?

I guess my point is: just don't tire yourself out trying to make an apple pie out of ingredients meant for chocolate cake.

#silly blabbering #look i don't judge people for playing 5e but it drives me nuts when they want to use 5e for everything #you might even get it to work but it won't be ideal #i promise other games aren't as full of rules and that they don't take so long to learn. take a leap of faith #and it's cool if you go back to 5e afterwards but try to have more experience with rpgs before designing your own #HERE IS WHERE I LOSE FOLLOWERS ISN'T IT LOL #again i'm not bashing 5e. play it all you like. hell adapt wn to it if you really want to do that #i'd just rather save myself the trouble and use something i don't have to fully distort to make work but to each their own #either way send me the link to wn rpg stuff you make. my group can't really play right now but hey #i've been dying to playtest my little wn lasers and feelings hack but no chances to do so yet. grumble.

[hephaestuscrew]

🗺️✨👻 ← trying to choose ones that might give you a chance to talk about stuff you don't mention as often. but who can say.

🗺️- podcast world you’d most like to live in I feel some of my favourite podcast alternate worlds would be fun to visit but perhaps not very fun to live in e.g. Greater London in Victoriocity, Red Line in Greater Boston. And I'm still not really sure whether I'd rather live in the clean-energy fossil-fuel-free world of Wolf 359 at the cost of everything that Goddard Futuristics is getting up to. In the end, I think I'll go with the world of Monstrous Agonies - it's about the same level of fucked up as our current world, but with many communities of magical and fantastical creatures, which I think would make life more interesting even if I was still human myself. I really like the worldbuilding in that show. It's a great example of a show that uses fantasy as a metaphor for various kinds of real-world marginalisation while also explicitly including those real-world marginalised identities within the world of the story.

👻- a podcast that scares you I feel kind of bad saying this because I am not caught up with listening to it, but the first one that came to mind was The Silt Verses. Honestly it's probably because it creeps me out so successfully that I haven't gotten round to listening to the end of Season 2. Twisted saints and gods, morally ambiguous protagonists, the violence of the state and capitalism, horrifying worldbuilding presented as the accepted state of the world, the right unnerving blend of telling the listener what's going on and leaving it to the imagination from how it sounds… I should catch up with it.

✨- podcast in a different genre than what you usually listen to I initially didn't know what to say for this because I honestly have no clue what genre I usually listen to. I feel like most of my favourite shows defy simple genre categorisation in some way (which I do think is something that the podcast medium is particularly well-suited for, due to a combo of the indie approach, the less rigid audience expectations, and the ability to do weird shit in audio that wouldn't work as well in other mediums). But a show that I've been enjoying recently that's a bit different from my usual fare is Off Book: The Improvised Musical, which is what it says on the tin - each episode the hosts and usually a guest improvise a musical from scratch. It's not audio drama as such, but somehow they always seem to pull characters and a story from nowhere, and it's funny and often surprisingly moving.

#Thank you for the ask 🩵 I can always rely on you :) #Ask game #Asks #I never know whether to tag this kind of thing with the shows I've tagged about #Probs not #Rec posts can clog up small tags sometimes #the empty man posteth #Long post

[webbedphantom]

Okay so I know I have a bunch of drafts but I really want to talk about my Ideas for Sae's Palace in my AU

To start off with, if you're familiar with the AU at all, you'd know that the MetaNav just straight up doesn't exist, so you might be wondering how I'd even do Sae's Palace? Like is it more about changing her heart through character interactions, kinda like how they do in-game but just making that the focus?

Yes and no.

They do actually go into her Palace, but to explain the how and why of it, there's some setup I need to do first.

See, the way this world works is that with every Persona user awakened by the Metaverse Serum (AF-15), the more the Metaverse begins to leak into the real world. And by the time of Sae's arc, there's now no less than 8 people awakened in this manner, meaning that the connection is now strong enough for something major to cross over, provided it got a little push.

The specifics of this I haven't exactly worked out yet, but someone (probably Akechi being driven mad by his symbiote) sets off a device that causes Palaces to erupt out of the ground, covering the surrounding area in a thick fog that turns people into mindless puppets for the shadows to control, forcing them to go out and bring more people into it. (If you've read my Other Verses doc, this is the scenario that inspired the Kingdom Come verse)

Naturally, this whole scenario isn't something the team was prepared to handle, and since it's affecting the entire city, they need to split up to take care of things, trying to save as many people as they can.

There's a lot that happens during this section, with each of the team members getting their own little missions fighting against one of the palaces (including a lot of original ones, as aside from Shido, Okumura, and Futaba, every other Palace Ruler is in prison and they sort of turn the place into a mishmash of all of their Palaces), either on their own or in small groups, before meeting back up to try and get things back to normal.

Now before we get into Sae proper, we need to do a bit more background to catch you up on her history in this world.

At the beginning of the year, Makoto and Sae's father was still alive, and was a police captain heading the team assigned to bring in the Spider-Man. But while he eventually realizes that they're on the same side, and even helps Aaron and the team against the Shadow Possessed victims, in the end he dies, getting stabbed through the chest by Jack-o'-lantern (As in someone possessed by a Jack-o'-lantern/Pyro Jack, though an evolved version of it that was strengthened by Yaldabaoth to make it more akin to the comic book supervillain of the same name. He's got a sort of Grim Reaper vibe to him, including a gigantic scythe blade on one of his arms) taking a blow that was meant for Aaron.

This naturally scars Makoto pretty badly, since she saw it happen. And while she didn't see the event herself, Sae was no different. She and her father had grown a bit distant over the years, but she still loved and respected him greatly, so losing him really tore her up inside.

Seeing this as an opportunity, Shido pulled some strings to make it seem as though it was Spider-Man who killed Captain Niijima. After all, no one really knew what happened that night, only that the Captain was last seen chasing after the vigilante, and while he didn't use it often, Aaron was known to carry a knife, even if it had a completely different blade from the actual murder weapon.

So Sae, believing in the lies of the falsified autopsy report, began to hunt down the Phantom Spider like her life depended on it.

Over the course of the next few months, Makoto would encounter the symbiote, which led to her lashing out at everyone around her as it took advantage of rage and grief. This would include her sister, and while the team would get her to come to her senses, it would lead to Sae finding out that she not only knew, but worked alongside the Spider. And while she would forgive her for what she did while wearing the suit, that revelation would cause her to disown her younger sister, forcing Makoto to stay with Futaba and Sojiro until she could get her bearings again.

NOW back to our present crisis, despite the growing rift between the two, Makoto still cares deeply for her sister, and immediately rushes to her workplace to make sure she's okay. Only to find a casino standing in the place of the courthouse.

Makoto manages to infiltrate the place, searching desperately for Sae, only to find her on a sort of show stage, being held captive by her Shadow. She tries to free her but ends up getting caught, and is forced to relinquish her symbiote to keep her sister from harm.

Aaron, having just wrapped up dealing with all of his old villains and the Shadows of the Palace Rulers trying to break out of prison, gets word (somehow, I'm not quite sure yet. Maybe Futaba??) that Makoto has been captured, and despite how exhausted he is, he immediately rushes over to try to save her.

Now I'm not quite sure how to work this in, but an idea I had that I thought would make for a neat scene was if Shadow Sae, for some reason, forced the two sisters to do a duet of Whims of Fate (inspired by this cover of the song). Not really sure why, maybe she's just toying with them or something, but I really like the concept.

As this is going on, Aaron begins tearing through the casino, fighting through hoards of shadows, chucking roulette tables across rooms, smashing through walls. He's getting tired but he can't afford to wait even a second, not while Makoto's in danger.

He breaks into the show room, and the second Sae sees him (the man who she believes killed her father), she snaps. Her shadow immediately transforms into Leviathan and begins to tear into the Spider. Makoto seeing this as a chance to escape, trying to use the fight as a distraction to get Sae to safety and get her suit back.

But Sae refuses to move, just staring at the battle before her in silence, almost frozen, but not due to trauma of seeing the Spider again. She's seen him before, several times. No, she's rather torn. Part of her wants him to see justice, to be brought in for his crime and unmasked. But another part of her, the part her shadow embodies, just wants him dead, wants him to suffer like she had to. So she just... watches.

Makoto isn't satisfied with that, though. She tries again and again to get through to her sister, to get her away from here or to convince her that Aaron didn't do it, but nothing seems to work. All the while Aaron is fighting for his life, and he's losing. He's too worn out, and can barely keep up with Leviathan's onslaught of attacks.

Eventually, Makoto figures out that the only way she'll be able to get through is by confessing everything, recounting how she was there when their Dad died, how she saw him get stabbed through the chest to save Aaron, how he fought so hard to keep them all safe, how they did everything they could to save him but it wasn't enough. It's painful for her, to relive one of the worst moments of her life, but she can't let her sister keep lashing out at the wrong man.

It takes Sae a while to process this, unsure if she entirely believes it. But in the end, she decides to act, helping Makoto get her symbiote back and working with her to take down her shadow and get them all out of here.

This would eventually lead to her getting her Persona, though it wouldn't happen right away. She needs to confirm the lies for herself, and come to terms with just how close her darker half came to killing someone, and how she was content to just watch it happen. But at some point, either towards the end or after the Palace situation is resolved, she would awaken to her power (One of the only natural awakenings in the AU, because yeah the connection to the Metaverse is now so strong that Personas can manifest in reality without the serum) as the Wraith.

She'd be a sort of mix between Wraith from the comics and Daredevil (both OG and Electra flavours), using her Persona to induce fear in her enemies, as well as hard hitting physical and gun skills, twin stun batons which she can ricochet off walls like Daredevil's billy clubs, and Wraith's wrapping... thingies for swinging around or tying people up.

I'm not entirely sure what her Persona would be though. I've seen some people either give her a Transformer like Makoto, or turn Leviathan into her Persona, and while I feel like that last one has some potential, I also think she should have something more... original I guess?

I don't know, kinda just spitballing at this point. Most of this stuff is very loose and definitely still needs some work, but I think the general idea is solid.

But anyways, that's my concept. Someday I want to flesh out the rest of this arc, like have an actual explanation for the Palace thing as well as a resolution to it, plus all the little side stories that take place with the rest of the team (I'd love for Futaba to come across the Palace of a shut-in who's going through something similar to what she does in canon, and for Haru to take on Sugimura. Maybe even have Ann and Ryuji come help Aaron at the prison so they can team up to take down Kamoshida, since they weren't actually a part of that fight in this universe).

There's a lot of potential here, honestly.

But that's enough of my ramblings. Thanks for reading!

#ooc - out of costume; #au thoughts #phantom spider au #persona 5 spoilers #kinda?

[breakaway71]

20 questions writer meme!

Tagged by @galauvant, thank you bb! Retrospectives like this always give me the best kind of nostalgia about my writing, and I could use that right now, in the middle of some heavy projects. <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 242

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,200,157

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently? Julie and the Phantoms, Back to the Future, and Stranger Things are the biggies. I also always include Supernatural, because one way or another it always drags me back in unexpectedly.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Say it Sweet (Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, truth serum)

2. Give All My Secrets Away (Supernatural, Dean/Castiel, hurt/comfort, wing!fic but not in the way you expect)

3. All That's Best of Dark and Bright (Teen Wolf, Dere/Stiless, trans MTF Stiles and falling in love and rescues and ~feels)

4. Family Matters (Julie and the Phantoms, gen, Ray accidentally adopts the whole ghost band and Reggie in particular and some stuff happens, idk, lots of good dad stuff)

5. Ad Astra Per Tentaculum (Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, space AU, Stiles is an alien. With tentacles.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try really hard, but often fail. Not because I don't appreciate my readers, I do, so much, but it often feels like social interaction in my brain, and some days, that's a lot harder than others. It really comes down to how many spoons I have. I have better luck with new fics, and even then, it's a real toss-up if I manage. *hides face in shame*

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh. Hmm. I don't write a lot of angsty endings, honestly, but probably all those things i didn't say. Supernatural Dean & Sam gen fic, and it's. I mean, it's major character death, but in a weird way, and the ending...okay, yeah, it's a lot, but it was also meant to be hopeful?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Basically everything lol. No, really, I love me a happy ending, if I tried to pick, we'd be here all day. I guess one of my more recent(ish) ones I have a serious soft spot for is the 88 mph (take off, last stop) verse (Julie and the Phantoms band-as-family time travel gen fic) - the ending of the main story itself is pretty damn fluffy and happy, but the timestamps kind of add to the feeling. :)

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've been very lucky that in a couple solid decades of writing fanfiction, I've only ever gotten a small handful of negative comments. And maybe only one or two I would consider actually hateful.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Rarely, these days. I did so a lot more before I realized I was deeply ace. Sometimes I still indulge, but the mood of a story has to fit just right for me to go there. As for what kind, I mean, I've hit a lot of bullet points lol, but overall it tends to be more about ~emotions than the actual smut itself.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? CROSSOVERS ARE MY WHOLE ENTIRE JAM, seriously, I live for them, the crazier I can write and make work in a way that makes people screech about me using black magic, the happier I am. Probably the one I'd consider "craziest" in terms of HOW DID THESE TWO FANDOMS WORK TOGETHER THEY ABSOLUTELY HOULD NOT HAVE WORKED TOGETHER was Good Dreams, Sweet Prince - a Julie and the Phantoms/The Sandman crossover, canon-compliant to both universes, where Reggie is Dream's son. (It's also probably one of the crossovers I'm most proud of, honestly.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not any I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I've been asked many times, but it was never something I was comfortable with. There's a level of trust you have to have, not being able to be sure that a translation is true to the spirit of the fic, and it's a level of control I've never quite been able to give up. I feel bad about it, honestly, because I'd love more people to have access to my work. Maybe someday I'll get past my brain stuff about it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No(t yet)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? This question is deeply unfair and I rebel, I have too many I love with every piece of my heart, too many I've never been able to give up even when my fandoms have shifted and changed. I can't even pick an all-time favorite just for Supernatural!

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? There are a lot of them, unfortunately, but I'll probably say my Julie and the Phantoms/Voltron Reggie/Keith crossover fic for sure. It was something I started at the height of my love for both fandoms, but the ideas got way too big for me at the time. Then I lost the fic notebook with most of my outlines and notes for it, and that was kind of the nail in the coffin.

16. What are your writing strengths? Overall, I think my ability to get into a character's head and really nail the characterization. (Which is not to say it's always perfectly true to canon - I've taken a lot of liberties with Reggie, for example, because the show didn't give us a lot to work with besides "comic relief". But I at least know when something I write is veering a little too far from canon to be believable anymore.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Action scenes, for sure. And plot. Most of my fics are just ~vibes where plot occasionally creeps in. Sometimes it works and comes together surprisingly well, sometimes it's just ~vibes right through the bitter end lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I will do so very sparingly, but it's not something I generally trust myself to do well.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Pokemon, although Harry Potter was the first fandom I ever finished anything for. (Sadly (or, well, not) none of those stories exist on the interwebs anymore, they were all on older sites/forums that either no longer exist or went through a few too many purges. I still have a few of them fics in theory, but they're on floppy or zip discs I can't access, and most were written in programs that don't exist anymore.)

20. Favorite fic you've written? Oh hell. My answer to this changes with the tide, honestly, but one of my most favorites is my Detention trilogy. Dean/Gabriel, student/teacher AU. I think a lot of people were scared to read it because, well, teacher/student (not to mention an unpopular ship), but I worked damn hard to balance a very fine line with that fic, and I was so proud of how it turned out.

Tagging @ladyeternal178, @bananakarenina, @zubenpics, and anyone else who sees this and wants to participate in the fun!

#writing meme

[adanima]

i know you said that you wanted to take a step back from kp but do you have anything to share from your bodyguard fic or the vampire fic series? 👀

oooh yes, absolutely! thanks for asking!! (also yea, still not as engaged in the fandom but definitely still in love with these characters)

A Good Bodyguard

So right now the fic is tagged with "POV Pete" because I initially intended for the whole fic to only be in Pete's pov and end at episode 10 for obvious reasons. But pretty shortly after publishing ch1 I decided to go multi-POV and cover the entire series. The majority will still be Pete centric but I have planned for every named bodyguard to have at least one chapter from their POV! (except Ken, rip)

Next chapter will be from Arm's POV and it's gonna talk about how I headcanon each bodyguard joined the family. I don't have anything concrete written yet but here's some bullet points

The order in which the guards have joined the family (from oldest to newest): Big, Pol, Pete, Arm, Ken

There's 2 ways the main family recruits their guards - taking in youths/teens to train and make full bodyguards once they become adults or hiring skilled professionals/specialists. Big, Pol, Pete became bodyguards the first way and Arm, Ken became bodyguards the second way

Big, Pol, Pete are the last surviving members of their "class" of youths from the family's bodyguard training program

Arm feels insecure about being the only one of Khun's primary guards who hasn't been with the family since adolescence. Sometimes Pete or Pol will crack an inside joke he doesn't know and internally he's hello darkness my old friend

Pol was the last one to join Khun's primary guard, even after Arm. He feels insecure about it because he thinks it means he's not as good of a bodyguard as Arm or Pete

Big and Pol were suuuper close growing up. Pol was the first person Big admitted to about his crush on Kinn. But after the Tawan incident and Kinn withdrawing, Big grew jaded and distance started to grow between them. It didn't help that around the same time, Pol started taking on more duties with Khun

Vampire AU

Oh god the vampire au! I still love this series so much. I wish I had time to juggle this and the 5000 other fics I wanna write

Ok, so! I couldn't find a way to mention it in Oh, I'm gonna be your wound, but the way a human becomes a vampire is if they die and the last thing they've consumed is a vampire's blood. Which is why when Pete is given (human) food in the hospital, he fixates so much on the memory of Vegas pushing his own blood into Pete's mouth when they kissed in the garage. It was a way for Vegas to protect Pete and make sure if he was killed, he wouldn't permanently die. This will come up in future parts of the series ;)

Fun fact - One of the docs I have for this series is just titled "vampire macau" and it currently holds snippets for three separate Macau-centric fics, vampire verse included

Fun fact 2 - Did you know I posted Oh, I'm gonna be your wound about a month before I ever completed a full episode of KinnPorsche? I think the closest I got before that was like half of episode 7 lol. I'm pleasantly surprised at most of the character choices I made back then but I'd probably change some things if I ever rewrote it

Finally, here's an excerpt from Vegas's POV

"Pete." "No, Macau." His little brother shoots him a grin only younger siblings give to their older counterparts. “I know P’Pete is the only person you think about these days but other people do exist, you know.” Vegas rolls his eyes. “I was asking what you think of him. Brat.” Macau shrugs. “He makes you happy.” “But what do you think of him?” He insists. The thought of Macau and Pete not getting along makes his chest feel tight. He already knows Pete wants to try his best with Macau. But Macau is Vegas’s little brother and as much as Vegas tried to shield him growing up, there are certain characteristics they share that Vegas sometimes wishes they didn’t. “Hia, you want to bond him.” Macau looks at him, all his teasing gone. “You’ve never wanted to bond someone before.”

Thank you for the ask!! 😊 always happy to talk about my fics

#asks #asexualannoyance

[talesofunlikelysapphicpairings]

Hozier's "Work Song" is so Doctor Superion coded, it might as well have been written for them. This is me trying to prove it.

The song was written from the perspective of a worker (someone who works for someone). Like a farmer, or a miner. From my understanding, this singing worker is struggling with life as taken from the 'pleading' and 'sentimental' connotations throughout the song. Maybe because of the working conditions or other situations, but this song is definitely from someone who is desperate to get their point across. They have understood that life is suffering, and suffering is the only constant in life; but with their beloved, it is a life worth living.

Putting this in the doctor superion context, I will exchange the worker with a soldier. Suzanne is a soldier who had been asked to lay her life down one too many times. This "Work Song" is her song for Jillian. (This is my opinion and I barely elaborate myself so stick with me.)

Here's Verse 1:

Boys workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat

There's nothing sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

The OCS had been given little to nothing during the war with Adriel. They had no clue who their allies were aside from themselves. They had no solid proof of who their enemies were, or clear vision what they were. They had no one to turn to, no one to ask for help. Yet, there was Michael. Then, Jillian.

They knew it was not ideal to face Adriel as small of a number as they have. Yet, they did "face the burning heat," as stated. Somehow, having one another was enough even though the 'boys' (them) worked with 'empty' (nothing). That included Jillian.

Again, this person for the soldier is more than enough. There is no need for a cherry, as sweet as it is, because the sweetness of her lover keeps her full. More than that, she gives her more even by doing little.

The Chorus can be taken as is.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

This happened. When Suzanne was lying and Jillian was the only hold she has on the living, it might have been Ava who woke her up but we know Jillian is also one of the reasons she became alive. Fuck, Jillian was one of the reasons she stayed behind the first time (fuck the Arc), and on that second time (there was no need to stay). The chorus of the song is a testimony of the soldier's dedication and devotion to her love. And damn me if Suzanne does not have both for Jillian.

So, yes, it was Jillian who fretted over her medical apparatus to revive Suzanne. It was Jillian's hands who caressed Suzanne's hair and shoulder as they waited for the other warriors to come back. And it was probably Jillian who put Suzanne back to her feet to face the war once more.

Verse 2 goes like this:

Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib

And I was burnin' up a fever

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did

When Jillian and Suzanne finally met (because the girls had probably told each of them about the other in some stories), the world is quite literally in shambles. As someone who served as a soldier of God and the Church for most of her life, Suzanne probably felt like questioning both. We already knew that she already questioned the Church, lost trust in it. But what of her faith to God? Years of obedience will make a soldier feel like she's sinning by merely questioning her King. Hence, the days of sins. When she found herself in Jillian's home and Jillian's walls, Suzanne was probably on her lowest days.

But here's the thing— it wasn't just Suzanne who was at her lowest. Jillian lost her son two months ago with no way of getting to him because she got burnt every time she tried. The only person who successfully got inside the Arc, Sister Lilith left her. Jillian found out about Kristian's betrayal. She had no idea of what was happening on Arq Tech. The Arc, her creation, was pulsating for unexplainable reasons making her feel like her mind was failing her. All of these meant that Jillian, too, had nothing left to and of her. Her room was nothing but an 'empty crib.'

Two women, both equating to none.

Yet, Suzanne stayed to 'protect the Arc.' In the midst of a war whose main action is in a cathedral filled with blind devotees praising a false God, Suzanne stayed to protect the Science side of things. This is the side of the coin she did not look at yet, she protected. Especially during the time of her doubting.

And when the people who invaded Jillian's home finally came, Suzanne's first question was not 'How do I secure the Arc?' or 'What is the best way to not let them get here?' — it was "How do I get you out?" As if Suzanne knows that the best way she can protect Jillian is when she's beside her. She did not care about anything else at first, not even for her life that she knew was always meant to be short.

It is sweet, wasn't it? Probably because Jillian is exactly what Suzanne had always needed, had always dreamed of. Someone whom she can be new to. Someone who did not know what she had done. Someone who will not question her worth. Because that was her agony her whole life— questioning herself why she was not God's champion anymore.

Here is the 3rd and last verse before the song ended with two Chorus.

My baby never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

When I was kissing on my baby

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamp light I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me

Jillian must have heard the shots. Numerous and loud as they were. As well as the body thudding on the ground when Suzanne disappeared. She must have also seen it on the surveillance cameras. Yet, when Suzanne came back upstairs, limping and tired now more than ever, Jillian was only relieved. Asking if Suzanne had stopped them. No questions of how it was done yet implied.

When Jillian had to point where the button meant to detonate the Arc by hand was, and she had no choice but to brace herself behind a desk and watch as Suzanne was killed; Suzanne's (supposedly) last words were still for her God. That she came to see her Lord. Waiting, and bracing herself with His judgement, whether she was worthy of His final kingdom or not, like she always does.

And when Suzanne was first revived, barely alive, she apologized for not being able to save the Arc. Yet, Jillian apologized for not saving Suzanne. Which drove Suzanne to these final statements of her truth. Her final confession of some sort. With her fear-stricken face on the frame, softly caressed by the hands of the woman she first thought to be blasphemous.

She told her (and Sister Beatrice and Sister Dora) about her resentment to God and Ava. How her shame blinded her, then she died. (Again.) Then she lived. (Again!)

Earlier, a cherry tree was mentioned in the first verse. It struck me as odd since there are a lot more popular trees/fruits other than cherry that are also sweet. It was probably because Hozier took the meaning of Cherry Blossom (different tree, I know; but almost the same name) in literature. Cherry Blossoms symbolizes beauty, transient, and impermanence of life. For the sake of this essay, I will take the last two meanings. Both of which Suzanne already knew that her life was meant to be short-lived. Although she was always ready to die, she cherished it as much as she could by protecting her girls, living up to her 'calling.' After everything, she survived.

Maybe a part of her thought, that if she would not be welcome in His final kingdom, she can have one here. If God will not have her, maybe someone here will. (I am pushing it, I know. No, I do not care.) If she will not be forgiven, taken, or ascended by the Lord, maybe someone here will. Maybe, Jillian will.

During that low light scene, when Suzanne was on Jillian's clothes and her hair was braided, she said they should give some prayer. But this one is different because it was not for some aloof Higher Being's guidance anymore. She wanted to say a prayer for the people they have lost. I think this is when she was finally free— of guilt, of her tether to Church, of her blindly saying a litany.

And when she was talking with Ava, although she said some more things about worthiness (it is hard to unlearn one's thoughts), she nevertheless gave her understanding and blessing. And when she sent them to the war one last time, Suzanne did not offer the word of God (or word of the Church). Instead, she said some words from some song of some band. The words of God and the Bible were just that to her— words. As important as other words are.

Then she stayed with Jillian. No matter if she did not need to, she stayed.

I do not know how to end this but let me put it this way— Suzanne might have lost her trust in the Church, but I'm sure she found another altar to serve. She must have found a new religion, and have a new kind of devotion. Still a soldier but for a new cost. Still a worker, but for a new cause.

#doctor superion #mother superion #jillian salvius #warrior nun #hozier #work song #we all know hozier is an honorary lesbian but this one takes the cake #this is a long-ass essay my sleep deprived brain made #because I was listening to Work Song too many times #Spotify

[jmrothwell]

⭐️

Hey Bethany!!! Thanks for the ask!! ^_^

So since no fic was specified, I decided to yell about A Matter of Time. (It's kind of all over the place, so if you haven't read it yet, it may be spoilery?? I will try to keep the commentary restricted to up to Chapter 9)

So to start with I know I said it in one of the Author's notes but each chapter has an associated vibe song, the thing is I honestly don't know WHEN that started to happen. . .like it was very accidental. I was messing with the playlist I had at the time and I noticed that each song I'd had so far(it wasn't that many at the time) each fit a specific chapter really really well. In fact, so far, with the exception of Owl City's When Can I See You Again, every music/musical reference has been accidental/unplanned to some degree.

Chapter 8: Dreaming was actually one of the earliest to be like 80-90% complete. The only bit that wasn't done from the very beginning was the Rosemary conversation(because again, Rosemary accidentally became a bigger thing than was in the original plan/outline) and a good chunk of the conversation with the rest of the band. . .which ended up much shorter than I thought it'd be.

Chapters 4 Bad Bad Breaks and Chapter 9 Our Time is Running Out were both not in the original outline. . .sort of. The bulk of the content of Chapter 4 was outlined however as mentioned in the author's notes Chapter 3 just did not want to end so I eventually made the decision to split it up. Chapter 9 however was not outlined at all, I don't remember when but at some point I realized I had a three month gap in the timeline(which included Reggie's birthday) and that didn't sit well with me. Like the bare bones, very first original plan for this fic was something like 8 chapters at roughly 3000 words each. This is not what ended up happening

I am kind of irritated that I now remember the term "next of kin" because I so would have used that rather than emergency contact. Like seriously at the time of writing that chapter I was staring at my screen going "emergency contact isn't right but what is the right phrase?!" for far too long. 

I also kind of wish I could rewrite some of the early Reggie stuff. Even though I don't know how I would. Mostly because some of the comments make feel like I didn't do as well of a job at making it clear when Reggie actually starts falling in love. (Granted I am also trying to filter through Julie's perspective too) The true catalyst for him actually starting to fall in love (in my perspective) is the pizza apology. Up until that point Julie is a friend, maybe he's a little flirtier with her and maybe she's someone who he could see himself having feelings for. However, (I tried to insinuate this and sort of confirmed it in Chapter 7) Reggie has some serious relationship fears and commitment issues. Like he's probably self-sabotaged a lot of relationships because (at least in this verse) he's terrified that every relationship is doomed to end up like his parents, or more specifically HE is doomed to end up like his parents. 

So like (inny kind of mentioned it in her comment on the chapter) Chapter 5 is awful from Reggie's perspective. Because up until the pizza apology it's like every fear of his is being confirmed but he can't run away because he still needs Julie's help. So yeah mini rant short: Reggie doesn't start actually falling for(or start letting himself fall for) Julie until the pizza apology. 

And finally for this particular commentary I need to make sure I thank @daintyduck99 and give her a really big shout out!! She's been awesome with cheerleading and reading and helping to flesh out areas of the story.

#ask game #thanks for the ask! #A Matter of Time

[jacqcrisis]

Hello! Sorry, yet another person here to absolutely fawn over your fallout au, which I finally just finished. I've really enjoyed reading through all of the tumblr posts all morning, I had a thousand qs I'd ask about the characters and story if I could but just… WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT PAT AND ACHILLES. How do they find out. Is Hermes just like "yup, guess we should go back to see Achilles" one day and Patroclus is like "Hold up what the fuck did you just say"?

Anyway I appreciate this story ended a while ago and you're probably out of charmes inspiration these days so don't worry if you have nothing to say, I am going to go and stare into space and think about Charon and Hermes smooching instead of doing my day job thanks

A) thank you so much for all your kind words, including your comments. I'm just very bad at responding to those but I am grateful and extremely happy you enjoyed my stuff!

And b) while I am burned out of Hades content, you did unfortunately activate my trap card that is talking about sad old ghouls and centuries long pining. So I'm using this as an excuse to detail how Achilles and Patroclus finally meet each other once again.

So, after everything in fallout au, Zagreus starts what I like to call the White Boy Soul Search™. He runs away from Asphodel and his father several times in order to try and find out more about himself and who made him (Persephone) all while the dynamic duo of Theseus and Asterius are tasked with bringing him back (which they succeed several times cause, listen, Zag did beat the mutant in a 1v1 but they are still an ex-Brotherhood Paladin and an ex-Unity Nightkin tag-teaming dragging an android man back to daddy).

On these travels, Zag meets up with Hermes quite often, as Hermes is secretly checking up on him under the guise of 'haha wow we crossed travels again, cuz! Crazy, amiright haha'. At one point early on, Zag laments how his power supply seems to run out so quick and he just can’t understand why but if he could fix that, then he could continue his investigation longer while leaving the guards tailing him in the dust. Hermes, upon hearing this, is all too eager to drag him off to go see the friendly neighborhood android doctor, Pat, who welcomes them in with less than enthusiastic arms. 

Now, Zag has, in the past, read most if not all of Achilles' journals he keeps around in his private rooms, and is well versed in his personal history and his long lost love he still dreams of and sees false images of in the crowds at the arena. So when Patrolcus introduces himself with that long dead lover's name, while also being a ghoul, Zag starts to get curious. While Hermes is off getting bullied by goats and a rooster, Zag starts asking questions as Pat is looking him over: what'd you do before the war, where were you stationed, what have you been doing since, anyone you miss from that time?

Pat is dodging all of these as he has always done, but just as he's wondering if he should force a sleep cycle on this new synth, Zag just comes out and asks if he knew anyone named Achilles. That's a name Pat hasn't heard in decades, one even he doesn't dare to speak aloud and, as you would expect, he drops whatever he's holding. He assumes he misheard, but when Zagreus clarifies that he knows a ghoul named Achilles who writes often of a Patroclus he knew before the bombs dropped, Pat forcibly enters him into sleep mode.

When Zag awakens, his power supply problem has been fixed and, in payment, Patrolcus demands he leave and never speak about this 'person' again as it is impossible his Achilles survived the bombs, suffered from ghoulification, and lived for as long as Pat has. By his words, it is cruel to string a old man along like that with the hope such a person could be alive only to dash it once its revealed he's speaking of the wrong person. Zag tries to argue but Pat is adamant and sends him and Hermes on their way, considering the topic null and void.

So Zag goes back to town, heads directly to Achilles, and tells him about Patroclus, expecting at least one of them to be happy to hear about the other. Achilles indeed is, in disbelief and elated beyond measure Patroclus is alive but that happiness fades. There’s a sadness to him as Zag describes Pat’s condition and reaction and, when he suggests Achilles go and see him, Achilles refuses, stating it's for the best he stays away.

It takes a while for either of them to budge. Achilles is wracked with guilt over having abandoned Pat during what could have been their final moments, and the idea of seeing him again, and seeing what would be justified anger and hatred at his actions, would be too much to bear. Patroclus, on the other hand, refuses to believe this Achilles is the one he knew, that upon seeing this person, that being faced with one final confirmation that his Achilles is dead, it’ll become all too real for his steadily declining grip on reality. They’ve both spent nearly two centuries mourning someone and neither wants to have that festered, scar reopened, to go through it all again.

Eventually, Zagreus appeals to a sense of catharsis in Achilles, that perhaps apologizing, even if it's to a closed door, will bring him some peace. So he agrees to go without Zagreus as this is something he needs to do alone, and after a boat ride and a long lonely walk with his thoughts, practicing an apology over and over again, he finds himself at the quaint isolated farm. At the sight of a man across the fields tending to his crops and his animals, Achilles nearly turns right back around, centuries of guilt and grief and hope hitting him like a freight train.

He doesn’t get to as some of the goats spot him, bleating and tottering over to the frozen ghoul in their curiosity, alerting their master to the visitor’s presence. Patroclus moves closer, not recognizing the person standing among the tall grass, about halfway to his homestead from the fence, with his hand on the pistol at his hip. He calls out as he continues to step closer, tells the ghoul he doesn’t take in wanderers and the stranger will need to move on now if he wants to avoid the deathclaw’s sunset hunting hours.

They've both changed physically, recognizable features sloughed away as their skin and soft cartilage dried and fell off throughout the years but one thing that hasn’t is the way Achilles says Patroclus’ name, choked in disbelief and a reverence that carries unaltered by the breeze. It’s Patroclus who stops in his slow approach, hand falling from the pistol and the breath knocked out of him. Achilles takes a cautious step forward, saying something but Patroclus doesn’t hear it, falling to his knees as he begins laughing.

He’s certain he’s finally lost it, that the radiation burning away at his brain has finally done its job, that this is some hallucination, and as Achilles comes to his side, touches him cautiously, his laughter turns to weeping. He falls into Achilles’ embrace, assured by the physicality of it that this is real. That’s he’s real, that he’s alive, oh God, he’s alive and has been just a few days' travel away for years...

It’s happiness. It’s guilt. It’s mourning once again, but this time not someone lost, instead years, decades, centuries wasted alone when it could have been together.

But, as a similarly crying Achilles promises, that doesn’t matter. There’s explaining to be done, apologizing to be had but they’re together now. They have time now and he’s not going anywhere this time if Patroclus doesn’t want him to.

#fall out hades au #ive been WAITING #FOR ANYONE TO ASK #kind of not really #but ive thought a lot about it #mmmm love sad happy things #Achilles comes back a happier man and zag immedaitely starts asking for the dirty deets #like he does #idk if you read the other long charmes fic i did but i do reccomend it #if you want shit thats just....really drawn out then watch the tide come in is the fic for you #anyways thanks again!

[yume-x-hanabi]

5 for Gaius and 6 for Wingul and 15 for Xillia and 50 and 62 just because!

5. How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

(I'm taking this as in how many wips do I have that are Gaius-centric; pls correct me if I'm wrong 😅)

Posted: Concubinage and Fractured Lives (though that one is alternating PoV)

WIPs in my documents:

some pre-game conquest of Auj Oule one-shot that I might have to revamp anyway (I had a whooooole thing planned out, with details about all the clans and stuff, but idk anymore)

another Concubinage-verse smutty one-shot (AU-ish). not sure I'll finish this one either XD

a previous Spicy Cocktail prompt fill I haven't finished but want to. Mostly Wingul pov but it's gonna alternate with Gaius a bit. Kinda darker/more fucked-up than my usual stuff honestly, but I like what I'd written so far

another Spicy Cocktail prompt fill I will probably give up on bc I'm not sure about the set-up anymore 😅

...and that's it actually. Turns out most of my fics are written from Wingul's pov 😂

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

(again, taking this as "Wingul-centric line")

I'm actually not sure, because I'm pretty sure the last Wingul-related wip I made progress in was Moonlight Tempest (my WinDist collab fic with @bibliophileemily), and since it's a collab fic I don't remember who wrote what line lol

I don't know which other Wingul-centric wip was the latest before that (it's been a while), but I found another incomplete sentence in my drafts so let's go with that 😂

Wingul was not one to give up easily. His own stubborn pride prevented him from

From chapter two of the reincarnation AU. I have... no idea where this was supposed to go orz

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

Evening is when I'm the most productive writing-wise, even though I wish I could apply that to more convenient parts of the day.

50. How would you describe your writing style?

🤷‍♀️

(English is hard XD)

62. In [insert fic], is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included?  Why did it get cut?

Gonna answer for Concubinage.

I had a scene in the original version of chapter 26's smut scene (rewrote that one entirely from my original draft) where Lin called Arst "(my) dear" in Long Dau. Arst asked what he said and Lin got embarrassed and tried to deflect, while Arst tried to pester an answer out of him (without success). It was a cute scene, but it sadly didn't go with the flow of the revised version. Maybe I can try to repurpose it in another scene one day...

#thanks for asking #ask yume #fanfic talk