#simple diet plan for women

[its-poojagupta-shree]

In this blog, we will provide you with a comprehensive guide specifically tailored for women who are looking to lose weight within the comfort of their own homes. We will explore various aspects of weight loss, including nutrition, exercise, mindset, and self-care, to help you develop a holistic approach towards achieving your goals.

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[prettyhealthfood]

6 Simple Guides to Follow a Portion Control Diet Plan for Women

Want to follow a portion control diet easily? Check out this 6-step guide to learn how! Learn how to make your meals better by getting advice from a pro.

#portion control for weight loss, #portion control, #portion sizes for weight loss, #prettyhealthfood

1. Understand Your Portion Size:

Fill each part of your plate with a different food group using your plate as a guide. Fruits and vegetables, whole grains, carbohydrates, lean protein.

2. Start with meal planning:

When you plan your meals, you have control over what gets into your meals and snacks.

3. Opt for High Volume Snacks:

Fruits and vegetables instead of calorie-dense snacks such as chips or crackers

4. Be aware of hidden calories:

Many people don’t realize how many hidden calories are in their favorite foods such as margarine and salad dressings.

5. Eat Slowly & Enjoy Meals:

Eating slowly allows your brain time to register when you are full which can prevent overeating and allow you to enjoy your meal without feeling guilty afterwards.

6. Monitor serving utensils/dishes:

A very effective way to practice portion control is by using smaller plates (about 9-10 inches in diameter).

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[sissa-arrows]

This tweet says it all… translation below.

(Repost because I wanted to make it into it’s own post instead of a reblog)

Banning the abaya is not a back-to-school "diversion". It is part of a plan.

Islamophobia is not an epiphenomenon. It is at the heart of a political project.

Racism is not an accident. It's a system.

There are absolutely no surprises in France.

The only "surprise" is that leftists and observers are still surprised by the repeated attacks against Black people, Arabs and Muslims in France.

No "red line has been crossed".

It's been going on like this for decades. It's just that depending on the mood or the privileges it touches, an opportunity arises where you "find out" what your fellow citizens are going through every day. It's there, too obvious for you to ignore, so you give it a tweet, an indignation, a passing concern. Then it goes back in the back of your mind filled with stuff that you don't live, while waiting for the next buzz that will occupy you.

The racist, sequenced, destructive and methodical harassment that targets Muslims in France varies only in its seasonality and its modalities of expression, but it is constant in its objectives as in its structures:

Muslim women are targeted in summer for the burkini, at the start of the school year for long dresses, on sports grounds because they want to play, all the rest of the year for their headscarves or their simple existence in public spaces. .

Muslim children are targeted at school for their beliefs, in the playground for their children's games (1), in the canteen for their "bismiLlah" and their diet.

Muslim men are targeted in their expression, treated as a security risk, criminalized in the public space.

Muslim associations and executives are targeted in their organizational methods, subject to political and ideological control by the prefectures.

And it just gets annoying to have to remind you of this with every controversy targeting Muslims, about twice a month.

The truth is simple:

France is filled by endemic Islamophobia. Racism is structural here. Antisemitism is structural here. Antiblack racism is structural here. The criminalization of migrants is structural here. Police violence is structural here.

And only racists deny racism.

Only those who don't experience it think it's a subject up to debate.

The "attacks on secularism" are as much shame on the French flag as the abusive reports that compose them, from the simple innocuous religious expression to the clothes police that are set up against young Muslim girls, as they are targeted with racial profiling to distinguish, by "use/purpose (2)" (the level of creative hypocrisy of racists) between the proselytizing use of a Zara dress (for Arabs and Blacks) and the admissible Republican use (for the others), while the handful of truly believable incidents are resolved with a simple warning and explanation.

The only attack on secularism is the establishment of a system of registration, denunciation and surveillance of Muslim students on a large scale. This is the count of students absent for Eid (3). It is the progressive decline of an educational institution which, since 2004, has gone from one moral panic to the next, with the same targets and the same results: the deterioration of teaching conditions and the systemic, slow and methodical stigmatization of some of the students. It is the silence that has become the choice of the majority of teachers and unions when their mission of inclusion and benevolent education of all children is ridiculed, that’s when they do not add their voice to the chorus of calls for the exclusion of students, calling for "clear rules" that invariably result in penalties and bans. It is the constant civilizing and post-colonial injunction to be free only according to modalities chosen by others than ourselves.

To people who still care about the fundamental freedoms of everyone (and in particular the young women targeted here for their clothing choices), I say: you are losing more than a battle, not to fight with all your might a fight which is already engaged, is tipping France into an authoritarian, racist and totally assumed oppressive posture.

To those Muslim men and women who minimize what is happening or blame young girls for their treatment, I say: you deserve what is happening to you. If you are humiliated in this way, it is because you allow it. To them their honor and to you your shame. They only wanted to study, without asking for the slightest preferential treatment or exceptional regime, while you found all the reasons in the world to defend their oppressors, out of unconsciousness if not out of cowardice. Those who already accepted the exclusion of young girls in 2004, those who looked elsewhere when imams were criminalized, those who believed in the promise of a state sanctioned Islam that would leave them safe if they remained docile to the exclusion of their brothers, those who allowed the associations which defended them to be dissolved and the mosques which welcomed them to be closed. If not out of modesty, at least for your own salvation, be silent and do not add your voice to those who make our children enemies of a republic which, rather than respecting them for what they do, chose to exclude them for who they are.

To my sisters, in skirts, dresses, jeans, sweatshirts or abayas, I want to (re)tell how proud we are of you. I don't know how to express the hope and sincere admiration I have for you when, in a toxic period like the one we are going through, I see the good you are doing, the projects you are planning, the enthusiasm and commitment that you display, in class, at home, on the soccer field or in associations, to respond to offenses with dignified words and smiles, to hold firm when we give up, to give us comfort in a world upside down, to pay the price for what is going wrong in our society and which should nevertheless concern us all. Rock in everything you do. Do not let yourself be locked into the image that some want to give of you, because you are not defined by any other voice than yours and by any other choice than yours. Please hold on tight. Be happy, make your plans and let others talk.

Maybe what angers them so much is to see you shine...

Notes:

1: Children love to see lay pretend and imitate adults. Some Muslim children (all below 10) pretended to pray at school. Some white kids eventually joined and instead of explaining to the kids to not play that way the teachers made a report. It ended on national news, they started acting as if it was super common and as if kids were forcing their non Muslim classmate to convert to Islam. It was a mess. To the point where the parents of the Muslim kids were so scared they pulled out their kids of all activities outside of schools… Some of the white parents actually had to get involved to ask people to calm the fuck down that it was just kids playing pretend. The end of the year school party was even canceled so no child would get attacked…

2: Teachers and schools were reporting and expelling Black and Arab girls for wearing long skirt or headbands. Those are obviously not religious clothes. People rightfully complained and said that it was racial profiling. Instead of telling schools and teachers to calm down the government changed the 2004 in 2022. Now clothes can become religious “par destination” so by purpose or use. Basically it means that depending on who (white or people of color) wears them clothes can become religious. If a white girl wears headbands very often that’s okay if a Black or North African girl does it then her headband is a symbolic hijab and she must remove it.

3: In the south west of France and in other regions the police asked schools to provide a list of all the children who did not come at school on Eid. For the record children are ALLOWED to miss school for religious holidays.

#France #french islamophobia #racism #French racism

[ficthots]

Consequences

A/N: There is just simply not enough enemies to lovers with Joshy boy. So, I wrote one. It’s angsty and a slow burn. Oh and it's also the grumpy x sunshine trope, but she's grumpy he's sunshine. Of course. (Also, she has a slight Beth Dutton inspiration to her, there also might be a small Little Women reference, too). As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Warnings: SMUT. 18+ content only. DNI if you are under 18.

Word Count: 12.9k+

Regrets are an ugly thing to carry around in life. If there is one thing older people share with younger generations about how to live life to the fullest, most of the time the answer is going to be to live life with no regrets. How does one do that? 

You can regret many things about simple daily choices. Picking the wrong playlist on the way to work and ruining your mood first thing in the morning. Deciding to go on a diet while grocery shopping and seeing no sweet treats in your pantry after a long day at work. Buying that pair of shoes that went out of fashion so quickly that you never even got the chance to wear them.

They happen constantly and while that advice of living life with no regrets sounds absolutely wonderful it is just not possible. Now, could they mean bigger regrets? Those life altering moments that you seemingly chose the wrong way to proceed on. If so, you still couldn’t follow that advice. 

Because your biggest regret was waltzing around the living room introducing her to family and friends. His eyes were bright and glistening with excitement as your eyes followed their track, seeing who they were going to speak to next. 

From your area of the room, slightly overlooking the group, Christmas tunes playing over the chatter, food decorating the tables bordering the walls, you had never felt more like the Grinch before in your life. It seemed as though you were overlooking Whoville and planning to destroy their holiday by any means necessary. 

Maybe just his holiday. Their holiday. The two of them. 

She was new. Very new. In fact, this was the first time she was meeting anyone outside of the brothers. It was unexpected. On your part, not for anyone else. It didn’t take the stinging sensation away from your face, a false imprinted hand that burned your cheek. Arms crossed soundly over your chest, eyes narrowed, you must’ve looked like a tried and true villain to those that laid eyes upon you. 

You were unexpected to everyone else, actually. A last minute purchase on your credit card to head home for the holiday party. Let everyone see you for the one interaction you would grant them for the calendar year. Simply not interested in spending more time than absolutely necessary with this bunch. 

Feeling someone saddle up to your side, speaking lowly so only you could hear, your smirk lightly grew, excited to listen to what bullshit he was going to spew at you. He was mainly speaking into his glass of bourbon, a large wide brimmed hat atop his head, sunglasses covering his eyes. “You look like a total douchebag,” you spoke out to him, not bothering to look to ensure it was who you thought.

He chuckled, stuffing one hand into his pocket. “You are just one bright ball of sunshine aren’t you,” you sighed, gaze never leaving their figures as her head tipped back, a laugh following at something one of their uncles had said. Your nostrils flared at it. 

“What do you want, Jacob?” After sitting in silence for a beat following his snarky remark, not wanting to dive into another turmoil with him, you decided to cut right to the chase. If for anyone it was for your mother. You figured getting into an altercation with the boy would sour the jolly spirit that oozed from the room.

Sighing again, he didn’t turn to face you. He sipped his drink, smacking his lips once he had swallowed, doing it to simply annoy you. “You are going to leave them alone. Leave him alone. Put on a bright smile if they approach you and that is all.” 

You didn’t bother with a response. As you turned to walk away from him, irritation dripping from you, he grabbed your arm lightly. “I’m being serious. Do not ruin this for him.” He had tipped down those stupid ass sunglasses, sitting low on the bridge of his nose, eyes boring into yours. 

Pulling your arm from his grasp, you leaned in closer to him. “Who the fuck wears sunglasses inside at a family party? Get a grip buddy, you’re not as cool as you think you are,” You huffed out, watching his jaw set at your words. 

Turning your back and walking away from him towards the bar to pour yourself a drink, all you wanted was for this night to be over. You leaned against the table, not struggling to find him in a crowd. He always burned the brightest around others. 

Snickering into your glass as you saw Jake had decided to forego the shades for the remainder of the evening, hanging them from his button up instead, you felt a sense of satisfaction ripple through you. 

You didn’t have time to retreat or really react. His eyes set upon your figure so quickly, it was like you had snapped your fingers and it all came barreling towards you at once. The smile that graced his face was showstopping, it was like the world had stopped turning in that moment, but it fell just as quickly as the realization dawned on him at who exactly he was looking at. 

His bubbling personality was blasting tonight, clearly happy at what he was getting to do. The steely demeanor of your face didn’t alter or twitch in the slightest as your eyes connected for the first time in so long you couldn’t recall your last interaction. 

Putting the glass to your lips and taking a long swig, he finally tore his gaze from yours, reeling him back into the present. She looked confused as to why her bouncing boy had changed so quickly, peering around him to see you. Standing there in all your glory, surveying her with utter disdain. 

It was a harsh judgment. For all you knew she could be the sweetest belle of the ball, but it didn’t matter. Not when she was attached at the hip to him. She was immediately enemy number two. After him being one of course. 

Sam laughed, echoing in the empty shell of your ear as he stood next to you. “Little miss hot shot is finally back from New York. How’s life? I haven’t seen you in forever,” your tight lipped grin was forced as you peeled your attention away from them for seemingly the first time that night, instead directed at the youngest Kiszka.  

How was life? What a loaded question. One that you honest to god did not have a sure footed response for. “Oh you know, just making money for these companies which in turn makes me money. Can’t get much better than that,” you shrugged, sipping your drink, eyes crinkling at him. 

He eyed you like the eighth wonder of the world. Truly conflicted that you were here at all. You almost didn’t come, but when you received a begging phone call from your mom that everyone was going to be there which would mean the world to her if you were too, you booked a flight. 

“Well that’s quite a career given the entire enigma that you are. Didn’t know that’s what you did for a living,” You shrugged, taking in a deep breath as you did. “Yeah, I don’t typically share that with everyone.” Sam nodded, seeing where your eyes instinctively fell back to.

Clearing his throat, he nudged his head in that direction, eyes staring down into his glass as he chuckled. “This is Samantha, his live-in girlfriend.” You would’ve preferred being shot dead at that exact moment. Even being decapitated would’ve been better than having to share any more knowledge about her than you absolutely had to.

Eyes narrowing as you caught on to his words, you turned your head to face him, confusion etched on your features. “Live-in? What does that mean?” He poked his tongue into his cheek, trying to decide if he should be telling you this at all. 

“Means she is following us on tour. The entire remainder of the tour. Not even Hannah or Jita do that,” he rolled his eyes, shrugging it off, but you hung to it. 

Laughing at his words, a cackle of sorts escaping you, you sipped your drink. “Does she not have a job?” Sam went serious, holding eye contact with you as he shook his head, effectively answering all questions you had. 

“Idiot,” you murmured out. But you didn’t miss the not so subtle glances he kept throwing in your direction. Growing more agitated with each capture of you he made, until he finally stepped away from Samantha and walked directly at you. 

Noticing how his hands nervously played with the hem of his shirt, hopping between balancing on either leg, you wanted to laugh. He hadn’t changed. Clearing his throat, it still came out shaky and slightly cracked as he spoke to you. 

“Deck,” was all he said, not looking at you once, only at the back door. Sighing, you tipped your head back, letting the honey gold liquid trickle down your throat, leaving the empty glass on the cloth covered table. 

The biting cold nipped at you the moment the door was opened despite the thick winter coat that sat on your shoulders. A shiver ran down your spine, not due to the nerves that were obviously wracking his body in anticipation of what was about to occur, but because you were simply fucking freezing.

“Make it quick, I’m cold,” you bit out, your first words directed at him in a long time. He scoffed, clearly surprised at the tone you were talking to him in. “You are unbelievable,” he roughly scrubbed at the skin on his chin, head shaking, a bitter laugh falling from his lips. 

You blinked, a smile tugging at your own, hand landing over your heart as you did. “Thank you so much. I don’t get that one often,” he cut you off, not interested in the banter you were trying to engage him in. 

“What the hell are you even doing here?” He asked, almost in shock he was speaking to you at all. Your eyebrows drew together, turning back and looking at the door and the party that was still in full swing inside. 

Your thumb pointed behind you, turning back to face him. “I mean. Did you see that my mom is here? Visiting family for the holidays, of course.” He rolled his eyes, then falling downcast right after. “Yeah because you’re always here at family events.” 

Slightly leaning forward, arms crossing over your chest, catching his eyes as you did, your eyebrows drew up your face. “And who’s fault is that?” His eyes went wide, jaw falling slack, seeing the fire return in his eyes at your words.

“Don’t you dare blame that on me,” he whispered it out into the frost bitten air. You knew where this was going, your neck fell to the side, eyes shutting as the pop echoed out.

“You are not an innocent, Joshua. For once in your life, take some fucking responsibility. I am not going to fall to my goddamn knees and worship the ground you walk on because you think you are above everyone else because of your job. I am not going to forgive and forget because of your social standing now. That same social standing that your little plaything is taking advantage of according to someone close in your circle. Your sins do not wash away because of who you think you are now. You have not changed in my eyes,” you had inched closer to him, each word dripping as you spoke, watching as his eyes went wider with each syllable that left your mouth.

When the back door opened, his gaze didn’t leave you, couldn’t leave you, as you spoke to him. Your head turned, plastering a large facade of a smile on your face as she appeared. “Love bug, where’d you go?” Your eyes lit up at the nickname, turning your head back to see him slowly drag his eyes to her. 

Love bug you mouthed out at him, seeing her reattach herself to him like velcro, watching his uneasy smile greet her as she beamed at him. Placing a gentle peck to his cheek she smiled at you. “I don’t think we’ve met! I’m Samantha, Josh’s girlfriend!” 

Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard, so unusually high pitched and happy it almost made your eardrum shrivel up and retreat further in. One of her arms linked with his, him not offering to speak anymore. You delivered your name, seeing who you were dawn on her, obviously having been mentioned at some point in whatever context to her. 

You stuck your hand out, offering a firm handshake that had her lightly gasping, taking her hand back quickly. “Sorry, I have to use a firm grip with those guys in the city. I forget sometimes,” you chuckled, giving a half-hearted shrug as you did.

Josh laughed, seeing that it was intentional. The door opened once again and when the tall, curly haired brother made his appearance, Josh took that as their out. “We’re going in,” his hand landed on the small of her back, pushing her towards the door. 

Locking eyes one more time, you shot him a look. One that reiterated what you had said to him just moments before. He quickly turned away, letting the door close behind him. You weren’t sure why you felt your throat tighten as it did, feeling like you couldn’t breathe. 

Standing in the backyard, on the deck that you had spent many a night on, the cold air wrapped around you, zapping any and all oxygen from your lungs. Your breath stuttered, coming out in puffs of white air in front of you. 

It was pitch black out, the music thumping against the house, you felt welcomed in the embrace of the darkness. Hating this stupid party. The stupid holiday. The stupid boy. Your jaw went tight, teeth grinding together as your eyes burned, not wanting to let any tears fall. 

Not for him. 

“Fuck.” You cursed out, Danny standing near the door as your hand pinched the bridge of your nose, willing the emotion to stop.

“That was,” he let out a breath, a laugh following it as he did, “a lot. You okay?” You gave a smile to the voice, nodding as you did, not wanting to look at him. “Yup. Living the dream, Danny.” He chuckled, coming to where you leaned against the deck railing. “It’s weird seeing him here with someone.” He spoke out, breaking the silence. 

Wanting to get away from that topic, you turned it back on him. “How are you doing? I know this is your first holiday season single in a while.” He blew a heavy breath from his ballooned cheeks, fingers locking together. “Weird.” You both laughed at that, nodding at his words. 

“Sure. I’m sorry I didn’t call. Life gets hectic,” he shrugged, waving his hands. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Your life is absolutely insane with what you do for a living. I think being a rockstar is something and then I hear about the accounts you handle in New York and my hands get clammy,” you laughter died in your throat.

He noticed quickly, uttering out to catch his mistake. “Sorry. I know not to talk about it, but it’s all anyone ever wants to talk to me about.” You turned, elbows landing behind you on the wood, staring straight at him as you did. “Talk to me about anything else. I don’t want to talk about that.”  

You two stayed out there, chatting for the rest of the night. Talking about anything and everything. It had been a long time since you had a chance to sit with Danny. He had seemingly grown up overnight. No longer was he the dorky friend of his little brother, but an actual functioning adult. 

It was silly too. You were hardly older than him at all, but it felt like growing up you had been worlds apart, but now your existences were co-mingling with one another. Your large coat was bundled around you, but your glass had fallen empty and Danny eyed it. 

“Seems we have both drunk our way through our original glasses and half a bottle of Jack.” You narrowed your eyes at the near empty bottle sitting on the table between you both. “I think it was emptier than that.” You both erupted in a fit of giggles. 

When his mom poked her head out, smiling bright at you two, you knew it was time to wrap it up for the night. “Danny, we’re leaving, honey. Are you staying here tonight?” He shook his head no quickly. 

“God no.” You laughed as you both stood, his mom closing the door behind her. “Well, thank you for keeping me company this evening, Danny. I am like a virus in that room so thank you for remaining out in the freezing tundra with me. I apologize for getting you plastered,” he stuffed his hands in his pocket, sleeves of his sweater bunching up around his wrist. 

“Takes a lot more than a couple glasses of whiskey to get me drunk. Life of a rockstar and all,” you scowled at his words. “How long are you in town for?” You sighed at his question, pulling your coat tighter around yourself, the warm buzz from the alcohol only doing so much for the Michigan winter.

“Through the weekend.” He nodded, apples of his cheeks pinkening as he cleared his throat. “I’m golfing tomorrow, would you like to come with me?” Your smirk grew as you narrowed your eyes at him. “I can’t golf, Danny.” 

He shrugged, laughing as he did. “Keep me company then. You’re good company to have,” you bit your lip at his words, head falling downcast at him, nodding. “Okay, then. What time should I be ready?” 

When you two walked into the party together, his eyes fell on you two. In fact, almost everyone's eyes fell to you two. This pairing was not a normal one. You leaned towards him, a joking tone as you whispered out to him. “See? A virus,” you walked away, heading towards your mother as Danny watched after you.

When Danny looked around the room, eyes connecting with the twin, seeing the plain look sitting on his face. Josh only nodded at his sibling, fighting the icky feeling worming its way down in his gut as he saw you two leave the house together that night. 

The next morning, Danny stood outside, leaning against his car in his full golf outfit, waiting for you to join him. “Thought I was meeting you at the club?” He moved away from the door, opening it for you as he did. “Thought it would be easier to pick you up,” you sat down in the seat, feeling the seat warmer greet you, the chill of the air gone as the door shut. 

“So, how long does a game of golf typically last?” 

You stood on the green, Danny letting you take his club and attempt to put his shot on the hole. You were nine attempts in and not getting any closer. Your tongue was poked out in deep thought, he was watching on in true pain, silence settling over you both. He wanted to tell you how to do it, even help you, but he was going to let you try. Again.

“You know, if you hold it-” He finally decided to speak as you tapped the ball, watching it roll in the opposite way it was supposed to go. You huffed, standing up straight and shooting him a death stare. “That one was your fault.” 

He held his hands up in defeat. “Totally my fault. I apologize. Would you like me to finish this?” You groaned, handing him the club and watched as he hit it in with only one try. “Show off,” you mumbled under your breath. 

Leaning on the club, long hair tied back but still blowing in his face, he turned his cheek to you, putting his ear towards you in a show. “I’m sorry, what was that?” You sat down in the driver's seat of the golf cart, arms crossing over your chest as you did. 

“Oh, I called you a show off.” He approached the cart, arms holding onto the top of it, leaning down to look at you. “Well now that we’re finished I was going to get you lunch, but since I’m such a showoff.” 

He trailed off at the end, walking around to the other seat, sitting down with a loud sigh. You stared him down, as he turned his head to look at you, you narrowed your eyes. “I hope you realize that I’m driving. I could fling you out of this thing so easily,” he rolled his eyes at your choice of words.

“I’d like to see you try,” your eyebrows shot up, shrugging and slamming on the gas pedal as you did. It took no time at all for him to concede and as you two walked into a local place you hadn’t eaten at since you had left, you both were gasping for air at the stories you were sharing. 

You stopped dead in your tracks, not having been looking forward, but instead back to where Danny was standing behind you, you almost ran into the person in front of you. “Oh gosh, excuse me,” you said, but his face went into one of confusion given you didn’t recognize him. 

“Danny?” You wiped at your eyes, eyes blinking heavily as you realized it was Josh and Samantha. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you guys.” It was awkward as Josh looked between you both, obviously trying to figure out what was happening, but Danny spoke up first.

“We just finished a round of golf and I promised her food if she kept me company,” Josh’s expression never changed, only staring at you both. He hummed in response, Samantha grabbing his hand to bring his attention back. “Right, we were just leaving.” She giggled out, forcing an unnerving chill to run up your spine and worm its way in your brain. 

Danny said his goodbyes, but as they walked out the door, you saw Josh turn his head and look back at you both as she walked in front of him. You held his eye contact for a split second before turning it back to Danny. 

People change. Constantly people change. It didn’t register to you that as he was growing older he was morphing into a person you hadn’t met before. That’s what happened after spending so much time apart. It was why you and Danny were getting along so well. 

You two had much more in common than you originally thought. Your sense of humor was almost identical, he liked the same foods you did, the same music, the same everything. You two were truly two peas in a pod. It was unexpected. Not something you were anticipating happening on that trip home, but even now after you had left, you two kept in contact.

Constantly texting, sending each other funny videos you had seen, or sharing things with each other that reminded you of them. Before you knew it, you were talking to him nearly everyday. When they had a show near where you were currently staying for a work trip, you fought within yourself if you wanted to do this

After putting it off for the entirety of their professional career, you decided it was time. Time to face the facts. Mainly in support of your now good friend. To see his friend. 

You couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt though. You didn’t have feelings for Danny like that, instead finding another good friend to share time with. Danny agreed, having no romantic feelings for you either, but instead finding comfort in a confidant while he was going through an odd time in his life. 

Instead, your thoughts were still riddled with him. One night after one glass too many, you found yourself typing in his name on social media, seeing the whopping amount of followers, soaring over a quarter of a million. Anger ripped through you, a small yell escaping from your throat, throwing your phone at the neighboring wall. 

The sting would never leave. Never escape. The wound was just as fresh as day one. 

You had never felt such resentment for a being as you did at that moment, picking up the shattered hunk of metal, trembling as your vision grew blurry. His face still sat on the screen, staring at you. It was still Josh. 

As you stood backstage, waiting for them to appear after their set had finished, you were antsy. You couldn’t bring yourself to stay for the entire show, instead showing up a little after the halfway marker. It was the spectacle you had been expecting and then some. 

The flames kissed the sky as they shot upwards, feeling your hands tighten on your biceps, arms crossed securely on your chest. He was reveling in it. Eyes skirting across the screaming, adoring fans on the metal barricade. The attention he so desperately craved.  

It had been so long since you had been at one of their shows. The last time you went, it was because your mom forced you, claiming it was a family event. You didn’t want to go. At all. Hence why you left after the first fifteen minutes to use the restroom and no one seemed to notice when you did not return to your seat for the remainder of the evening. 

Danny appeared first, makeup clad face beaming when he took in your figure standing there. Your scream laugh echoed as he scooped you up, lifting you with ease as he shouted, excited to have you there. Sam patted you on the back, saying how good it was to see you there, supporting them, taking you from Danny’s grasp and into an embrace. 

Jake stalled as he followed suit, disbelief crossing his features as he took you in. His head turned, knowing his twin was going to be only seconds behind him. He walked right past you, not offering any semblance of a greeting. It was fine, you didn’t want to spend the night arguing with him anyways. When the last figure came from the stage, he froze, seeing Danny take you into another crushing hug as he spoke to you about the show. He hadn’t been told you were going to be there tonight.

Seeing you was a shock, nearly collapsing where he stood, but your eyes were not looking his way, but you could feel his presence. His mouth went dry, unsure what he should do. “Star?” Your head snapped at the voice, that name, but before either of you could respond, Danny took you with him towards his dressing room to hang out while he got changed, wanting you two separated by any and all means. 

You spared a glance back, seeing his brows drawn together, furious. After spending the evening with Danny and Sam, you felt incredibly lonesome as you returned to your apartment that night. Your work trip had ended that day and as you drove back to the city, your own music blasting through the speakers, you were trying to forget what his voice sounded like.

Hearing that name for the first time left you shell shocked, entirely unsure why and he had said it. He had no right. Not after what he had done. 

Discarding your shoes by the front door, collapsing in a boneless heap on the sofa, eyes shutting, a migraine impending. You almost didn’t hear it. Too quiet at first. But it came again.

A rapping of knuckles on your front door. 

You almost let it go. Not interested in the least of who could be standing on the other side. But it didn’t stop. Continuing on and on until you decided that answering it and screaming at whoever could possibly be on the other side needed to be told to get a life, you halted when you furiously pulled the door open.

“If someone does not answer after the first time, take the fucking hint-” you didn’t finish your sentence as your eyes fell to the figure that stood on the other side of your threshold. Jaw setting, your eyes slightly widened. 

He stared back at you. Unsure how to proceed. “How did you get this address?” You quietly asked, in complete disbelief that he had tracked you down. His hand lightly shook as he mustered up the courage to speak to you. 

“My mom.” You hummed, head falling down as your eyes squeezed shut. You loved her, but to what extent. Giving your address out to anyone who asks? Not okay. 

You drew your gaze back upwards, locking in on him, seeing him unmoving as you waited to see what the hell he could possibly want. He didn’t move to speak, a complete deer in the headlights as he eyed you. “Jesus christ, are you going to move this along?”

His head fell, taking in a deep breath before he looked back at you. “We need to talk,” your eyebrows fell inwards at his words. “What could we possibly have to discuss, Joshua? I’m fairly certain any and all correspondence that we absolutely need to do,” you motioned between the both of you as you continued, “can be done via email. I will have my assistant contact you.” Moving to shut the door, his hand collided with the wood, halting the motion as he did. 

“No. We’re doing this now.” An overexaggerated groan fell from you, slightly stumbling back as he entered your house. “Please, make yourself at home,” you mumbled as he charged past you. Standing on opposite ends of the room, you crossed your arms as you waited for him to talk. 

His eyes raked over your figure with a confused look, taking his time as he looked around the apartment, mimicking your stance before he spoke out. “You know when I look at you it’s like looking at a stranger? Truly it is. You have changed so much,” you shrugged at him. “That’s what tends to happen as people grow up. You should give it a whirl sometime, might be surprised with what you find.”

Your eyes never left him. Watching, monitoring his every move, noticing how every emotion he felt flashed across his face, burned in his eyes. He was the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, for any and all to view and do with as they pleased. 

Noticing the redness that grew with each second ticking by, the glossy hew that took over, crafting a fog over the deep iris, he allowed his eyes to connect with yours. “What happened to you, star?” Your skin erupted in goosebumps, the hair on the nape of your neck standing at attention, any chance of a normal discussion out the window. 

“How dare you? Who the fuck do you think you are? You do not-” the last word spoken through gritted teeth, “ever fucking call me that.” Your finger was pointed at him, trembling with anger. Resentment. 

“You want to know what happened to me?” Your eyes were wild with fury, never removing from their target. “You did.” It was spoken into the silent room with seething disdain. The gulf between you two had never been as wide as it was now. 

Staring at one another from across the pacific ocean, on different continents, different spiritual planes, you weren’t going to start swimming. No. He would swim first. You had done your marathon, your muscles ached, lungs were on the verge of collapse, vision weary. It was his turn to find his way to you. 

It had been a different time when he would swim to you, meeting you at least halfway, you more times than not going the extra miles for him. Yet, he would in a heartbeat. But he always did. Always. 

One, two, three, four

You were trying to stifle your giggles as you hid behind the vacuum in the coat closet. His voice was loud as he counted down, but he hadn’t finished when the door flung open to reveal a red faced boy, cramming into the tight space with you.

“Josh, you can’t hide in here! This is my spot,” you were whispering shouting at him, but he paid no mind to your worries, hunching over behind you and pressing his bony knees into your back. “Ow!” He shushed you, giggling at how cramped you two were as you hid from his brother. 

Your hand clamped over his mouth, bringing your own to your lips, telling him to hush up because Jake had finished counting. 

Josh always did this. Hiding with you when playing hide and seek. Instead of going and finding his own spot, he would simply shrug and say you knew the best spots so why wouldn’t he follow you. It was beyond annoying, but his presence brought a sense of comfort with him. 

When the door opened, Josh in a complete panic, shot up from his seat, knee connecting with the underside of your jaw and sent you flying backwards at the contact. You were in shock, hand holding the spot where he had hit you, both of their eyes wide as saucers as they took you in.

“Oh my god, star. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. Jake, go get mom!” Jake turned on his heel, shouting for his mother as Josh slowly helped you up and to the couch, hand going beneath your chin as blood fell. 

When Karen made her way into the living room, she groaned. “You damn kids can never play right. Come on, I need to get you cleaned up.” As she did, Josh never left your side, eyes brimmed with tears the entire time, guilt wracking his body.

His hand was enclosed around yours the entire time. You rolled your eyes at the boy after you had finished, letting him walk you back to the living room to watch tv. “I’m really sorry, star. I didn’t mean to,” you smiled at him, grabbing a blanket and pulling it over yourself.

“It’s okay, moonie. Let’s watch Toy Story!” His eyes reabsorbed the tears threatening to fall, running to the VHS cabinet to get the movie. When he sat back down next to you, your eyes lit up with an idea. 

You two were tucked in the blanket fort together, beginning to watch the movie, a large bowl of popcorn between the two of you. He nudged you, eyes gleaming as he stared at you. “We have to come up with a cool story about how you got your bruise.” 

It hurt to eat the popcorn, but you nodded as he spoke. “What if I tell people I fought a bear?” His jaw fell open, nodding enthusiastically. “Yeah! Over the bear's fish and you won!” Your uncontrollable laughter flew as you kept talking. “And-and he was wearing boxing gloves.” Neither of you could catch your breath as you continued on like that, forgetting what you were originally talking about entirely. 

One thing you did know for certain was that if there was anyone who you would want to spin a tale with, it was Josh. It didn’t matter when or where, as long as he would be your co-captain, co-pilot, everything was going to be great. 

Josh’s gaze hung on you a little longer that day, but he didn’t understand why his stomach had butterflies in it as he did. 

He felt nervous. You were nowhere to be found in the ballroom where prom was being held. In fact, he hadn’t seen you since you all went and took pictures that day. He pulled his phone out, seeing he had no missed calls or texts from you, but he also knew you had reached your texting limit for the month a few days ago.

Your date was there though. He had seen him just seconds earlier with another girl. Josh didn’t want you to go with Oscar, but he asked you to prom before Josh could muster up the courage to. Now, he couldn’t place you anywhere in the room. 

Fighting within himself, he went to his brother, leaning towards his ear as he pulled him closer. “Hey! Have you seen, star?” His brother shook his head, going back to dancing with his group. 

He stepped out of the room, going to the outside area that had many games and other activities for prom goers, giving you a call. “Pick up, pick up, pick up,” he murmured as the dial tone kept going. On the last ring, you answered. 

“Hi, Josh.” A breath of relief rushed out of him at your chipper voice, but something was wrong. He could sense it. “Star! Where are you? You promised me that you would do the cupid shuffle with me and I haven’t seen you once tonight.” 

Clearing your throat to force away the wobbliness of your voice, trying to assure him everything was fine. “Oh yeah. I’m not coming, Josh. Oscar didn’t show up,” you murmured out the ending, embarrassed that your date had stood you up for senior prom. 

“What?” Josh was irritated, beyond furious that he had left you alone. He didn’t know that was what was going on, but he checked the time on his watch and nodded his head. “Yeah, but it’s fine. I’m about to go home anyways.”

He spoke out into the speaker, walking back into the room where his twin was and scouting the crowd for him. “No you’re not. I’m coming to get you, stay where you are, I'll be there in thirty.” Before you could protest, he hung up the phone. 

Pushing through the crowd, he grabbed his siblings arm, tugging him towards him. “I’m leaving!” Jake’s confused look met his face. Leaning in again to be heard over the music he explained, “Star got stood up. She’s been sitting there alone all night. I’m going to get her.”

Jake shot him an apologetic look, understanding, but bummed about his brother missing the rest of the night. Josh hurried out to his car, rushing to the other side of town where you were still sitting waiting. 

His heart cracked as he saw you sitting on the bench, looking the most done up he had ever seen, a sad look taking over your features that only ever deserved to be filled with happiness. Jumping out of his car, he approached you, a small smile taking over his face. 

Your face crumpled as you saw him, jumping up from your seated spot, throwing yourself into his arms, tears streaming down your face, sobs hiccuping as he crushed you to him. As you regained some composure, you pulled back, letting him wipe the tears away, you leaned into his side as he turned you towards the car.

“Can we go anywhere else, Josh? I really don’t want to go to that stupid dance,” he leaned on the hood of his car, you across it staring at him. He shook his head, “No. We’re going to the dance and you’re going to show that dickweed that you’re going to have a great time without him. 

Groaning, you gave in, climbing into the passenger seat and letting him take your hand in his. It was quiet the entire drive, but as you pulled into the parking lot, Josh grabbed your attention. 

“He’s a fucking idiot, star. Seriously, he is the stupidest man out there. You look beautiful and he doesn’t deserve your tears. Come on,” you gave a soft smile at his words, getting out and running around to loop your arm with his. 

As you entered the dance, Josh was beaming. Catching sight of his twin, you joined their group, having a blast, forgetting about the last two hours all together, grateful that your best friend was there to rescue you. Again. 

When the cupid shuffle started, your head fell back, laughter bubbling as Josh quickly grabbed you, forcing you to do the dance with him. Your stomach ached from the amount of laughing you had done that night. 

Content. That was how you could describe how you felt as you laid on the cool carpet of his room. Excited. For the future and what it would hold for you both. Taking on the world together. One stupid dance at a time.

Laying on the floor with Josh in his bedroom, a fort held above your guys head, you smiled at the sleepy figure next to you. He laid on his stomach, one arm under his own pillow, the other flat by his side. Your hand instinctively pushed the falling hair from his closed eyes, fingers dancing over the smooth skin of his forehead. “Thank you, moonie. For everything,” he shrugged, rolling over to face you completely. “Anything for my star.” 

Josh’s star. Your moon.

Bits and pieces of time together flashed in your mind. You were missing everyone. Everything. Being alone where you were, like you always were now. Longing for how things used to be. When you and Jake could be in a room together. Wondering when it changed that Sam and Danny were actual people, not just the little kids that followed you all around like lost puppies. Yearning for the comfort of your best friends embrace once again.

If your response had been different that one stupid night all those years ago. 

Now, those fleeting memories seemed like an entirely different time. A different life. You didn’t dwell on the past anymore. Spending time worrying about the what if’s was ridiculous. It didn’t aid in moving forward. What had happened, happened. 

You needed to face the facts that what you were dealing with now was how it was. How it was meant to be. Despite a small sliver of yourself screaming otherwise. That miniscule portion of you that had been buried alive for years. 

Until you heard a pounding at your door. Until he showed up. Digressing your campaign by copious amounts of time. That fucking bastard.

“You ruined it.” Was all he said. Venom lacing with each word as he did. “Excuse me?” You spoke out, shocked that this was the way he wanted to handle this. By deflecting blame. Again. 

“You. Ruined. It.” He enunciated each word. Clearly wanting you to understand what he was saying. Scoffing in response, he shook his head as you went to speak. “No, you don’t get to talk anymore.” Your jaw hung slack, you had never heard Josh like this before. “Samantha ended things,” your gaze hardened. 

He wanted to blame another failure on you. Something that had nothing to do with you. Not in the slightest. You weren’t getting the full story. As per usual. 

When you went to respond he held his hand up, effectively stopping you before you could start. “Don’t.” He said, eyes burning you with his stare. 

“You know why she ended it?” If this was how he wanted to play this game then you would gladly be a great opposing force. Shrugging with a roll of your eyes, you spoke out to him, “I could not care less.” 

With his jaw set, eyes narrowing in your direction, what he spoke out had you freezing to your spot. “Said I still had some issues with you that I needed to work through. That there was obviously something between us that either needed to be ended or fixed.” Looking at him, willing your brain to catch up to the situation, you spoke out quickly, but quietly. 

“That has nothing to do with me, Joshua. That is your own problems that you need to face. Leave me out of it.” His laugh echoed in the room, causing you to flinch at the sound. It wasn’t the response you had been expecting from him.

He shook his head, stalking towards you, merely inches apart from one another. You could feel his breath hitting your skin, lips parting as his picture perfect teeth were bared to you. Chests brushing against each other with each breath that departed from your being. Neither of you broke the stare. 

“It is your problem. And we’re going to solve it now.” He didn’t hesitate, didn’t second guess, just went off the pure adrenaline that he felt rushing through him. The energy that only ever seemed to surmise around you. No crowd could give him the high you could. 

Without any time to react, he was on you. Lips colliding in a heated, vengeful coalition. Teeth gnashing together as heavy breaths mingled with one another. Not allowing yourself to think twice, leaning into what was happening. Savoring the feeling of his skin against yours once more.

Hands clawing at the others clothes, hair, limbs, anything you could get a grip on. Needy and desperate. Pent up emotion that had been put at bay for so long. Too long. It all came crashing together. 

One leg shoved between your two, slammed up against the wall, his knee digging into your core as you fought for some sort of friction, relief, to assist in the burning sensation you felt. Refusing to open your eyes and see what was happening, who this was happening with, you almost didn’t believe it.

Another bad dream chasing you through your subconscious. Yet this felt far too plausible. Far too real. His lips leaving searing marks along the skin of your neck, collarbones, throat that had you a heaving mess. You had this nightmare one time too many. One time too many to know that this was not some message desperately trying to reach you because you fought against those thoughts on the daily. 

He was here and it was happening. 

His mouth found yours again as you laid beneath him on your bed, clothes long since discarded on the route to your room. Back arching upwards to brush along the bare skin of his chest, your hardened nipples meeting the warm skin of his torso. The soft curls entwined around your fingers, locking him to you to ensure he couldn’t escape. Not that he wanted to. 

Josh had been thinking about this, dreaming about this. When you popped back into his life, he could not get you off of his mind. Admittedly speaking about his pure animosity towards you too often to his unknowing partner. 

She had caught on quickly. That there was more to the story than he had shared. But he couldn’t tell her. Couldn’t begin to explain the intricate and complicated relationship that you two shared and where it had all gone wrong. 

When you had ruined his life. In more ways than one. 

With you under him, eyes rolled back as he thrusted in at a punishing pace, hands planted firmly on your body in any way he could, he knew this was the right choice. He was reaching bliss, you having already been there seconds before him.

He didn’t close his eyes. Holding eye contact with you, softening as he took in your fucked out peaceful look, eyelids heavy and hardly staying open. His hand cupped your chin, forcing you to look his way. “Keep your eyes on me, star.”

And you did. You watched as he reached his ending. Shaking and lightly moaning, deep guttural moans that cut through the room. Neither of you made any moves to end this. Instead, just simply staring at the other, trying to place what had transpired and where you now were. 

Hand moving up to push the fallen strands from his eyes, offering a soft smile. The first one he had been given. “Moonie,” was all you whispered out. Josh smiled down at you, leaning forward, noses almost touching as he did. 

Your smile fell almost as quickly as it had appeared. The air being knocked out of you. Betrayal stabbing you. Shock and dread clouding your thoughts. All it took was three simple words. 

“I hate you.” He breathed them out, his own smile falling as he said it. Watching how your features morphed from one of happiness and hope to one of remorse and rancor. Honestly, he was shocked at how quickly you had seemingly turned back to him. 

You refused to look at him, grabbing your comforter and wrapping it around yourself as you laid there. In utter disbelief at what he had done. “Get out,” you spoke out, only a whisper carrying your words through the air to reach him.

When he didn’t move, still practically on top of you, you yelled, neck straining, voice cracking as you did. “Get out!” 

Josh moved slowly after that. Scooping up his clothing, the sound of your front door shutting behind him as he left. Left you sitting there alone, choking back sobs, hand covering your mouth so as to not let any noise escape. Tears fell freely from your eyes, landing onto the sheets below you, effectively dampening them. 

He had done that just to say those words to you. Not understanding the true meaning of them. Of why you had said them to him on that night. That night you thought of so often. Wondering if you had made the correct choice. Now, as you laid there, discarded and alone, you knew you did. 

You shoved the laptop into his lap, head landing on his shoulder as you stood behind him, pointing at the screen as you did. “Look! I know it’s a studio, but we can totally make do. We can afford it, we’ll do like bunk beds or something. Look at that view, moonie,” you were swooning at the city skyline that was clearly visible from the living room windows. 

He cycled through the pictures, eagerly agreeing, talking about what kind of couch the two of you could find to fit the space. It was what you two had talked about, dreamed about, for as long as you could remember. 

Getting the fuck out of this town and starting somewhere new. Trying new things. Doing it all together. Your shared mood boards, idea boards, dream boards were stuffed with the same things. Going to the city and starting anew there. 

It was finally in your reach. So close you could almost taste it. Graduation had come and gone, a small gap time, moving for spring semester to start there. Months, weeks, days, hours, minutes of strategic planning on both of your parts was being put into motion.

Admission was accepted. Classes enrolled in. The lease was signed. The tickets were bought. Your life consolidated into four suitcases. It was happening. With your best friend. Your other half. The moon to your stars. Josh.

Laying under your signature blanket fort, eating a tub of ice cream, watching some ridiculous movie he had begged to see with you because he needed to explain the significance of the scenes to you, all you could think about was how many nights you two were going to be able to spend together just like this. 

It was going to be everything you had been dreaming about for years. 

He was looking at you a lot that night. Surprisingly, you didn’t notice the nervous and almost jumpy behavior he had been exhibiting all evening. The house was left to just the two of you. It was rare when that happened so when it did, it was nice to revel in the silence. 

When your eyes locked with his, you instantly knew something was off. Wrong. What you didn’t realize was that all of your plans were going to come to a screeching halt, seemingly collapsing on top of you within the span of just a few minutes. 

Pausing the movie, you finally gave in to the awkward glances he kept trying to hide. “Alright, what’s up? I can tell you want to talk so spill. What’s going on?” You took a spoonful of the delicious chocolate creamy goodness, but almost regurgitated it onto the rug. 

“We should talk.” His tone was shaky. Afraid. Weak. You only nodded, letting him continue with whatever life altering secret he was about to tell you. “I can’t go to New York,” you groaned, shoving your spoon into the carton and rolling your eyes. 

Grabbing the controller you were going to play the movie again as you spoke. “Shut the fuck up. I thought you were being serious.” His hand grabbed the remote, forcing your attention back to him. “I am, star.” It was whispered. Trembled out. 

“What are you talking about?” You were more confused than anything, not comprehending what he was saying to you at that moment. “We were asked to record an album,” you didn’t let him finish, jumping up as soon as the words came out. 

“Star! Stop! Just hold on a second, please. I need to explain this,” he immediately followed you as you moved to the front door in a hurry, pulling your shoes on as you did. “I don’t need you to explain anything. I knew it, I fucking knew it. I knew it was too good to be true,” you whispered out the last bit, tears burning the back of your eyes as you spoke. 

His head shook, trying to halt your movements, hands grabbing your arms to stop you from walking out the door. To stop and look at him. “Star, I have to do this. I need to do this for Jake. He’s my brother! What am I supposed to do? Not do this for him? It’s his dream,” he was speaking quickly and loudly. 

When you turned around as hastily as you did, he had fallen back a bit. Your tears freely falling down your cheeks as you peered at him. “And what about me? What about our dreams? We have everything planned! We leave in two weeks, Josh! You are abandoning me! You are fucking up everything that we have talked about for years, Josh.”

Turning on your heel, you threw the front door open, stepping down the front steps and beginning the walk back to your own home. Josh was right behind you, trying to get you to stop and talk. “Star! I know, okay, I know! We have a real shot at this. I cannot just give this up. The music we make is artistic and beautiful and I think there is a chance we can make a difference. It’s why we wrote the album in the first place,” you stopped dead in your tracks. 

Anger pummeled you, surprised steam wasn’t shooting out of your ears. “You knew about this? You knew about this and didn’t say anything! You fucking dick! All you think about is yourself! Do not even try to tell me that this is Jake’s dream like this isn’t exactly what you’ve wanted from the start.” You were shouting, yelling so loud you were truly out of breath, gasping to catch your breath as you sobbed, feeling too many emotions to handle them all at once.

He shook his head, seeing how destroyed you were at this was ruining him. “Star, please. Please, I don’t know what you want me to do here. This is just something I have to do. I need you to understand that.” As you caught your breath once again, feeling yourself lightly go numb, all you could do was turn around and continue walking back home. 

“I need you to leave me alone. I need you to leave me the fuck alone.” Josh stopped following you immediately. Hearing the seriousness of your tone, the monotone sound frightened him. 

You didn’t see Josh for two weeks after that night. 

It was like deja vu. Continuing on with life again after being let down by him. Identical to how you had to cope last time. With utter resentment you felt towards him. The regret that left a third degree burn on you whenever you thought about it. How quickly you had given in.

How much you really missed him. 

The two weeks following that night were a blur of numbness and dissociation. Turning your brain on autopilot and just simply coasting. It was hard not to let your mind wander into the abyss that you had crossed off with yellow tape. A dangerous area to venture into. 

The longing. For a different time. A different person. Something more. Knowing that it wasn’t always like this. 

Feuding with his brother, in a constant state of numbness and pain, living each day with thoughts of what could have been. Wondering if you had made the right call all that time ago when things could have been different. Replaying it in your mind and pondering if what you said was what you should have spoken, or should it have been different. It didn’t matter because you were now dealing with the consequences of what you had chosen. Far too late to change your mind now. 

While you sat on your sofa, an ambiance video playing on an eight hour loop on your television, staring at a book that you continuously kept rereading the same paragraph over and over again, the knock startled you. 

Jolting you from the brink of unconsciousness. Slowly turning towards the source of the sound. Forcing yourself up to answer as the knocks grew more persistent with each colliding of the door.

The door opened with a large whoosh of air, a pissed off look there to greet whoever stood on the opposite side. “If you could wait longer than fifteen seconds for someone to open a door, I think you would learn a great deal about patience, asshole.” 

His dark chocolate eyes, bloodshot and strained, stared at you. Instantly, you wanted to slam the door in his face. To avoid any and all contact with him by any means necessary. Seeing him there was like replaying that night over in realtime. Something you did far too often. More than you would ever admit. 

Your room was empty except for the major items that had to stay put. All of your personal touches that made it your space had disappeared, packed away into abnormally large suitcases, awaiting their next destination. 

One last family dinner before leaving the next morning had concluded. You had to get an early start in the morning, but as your parents went to bed, you laid wide awake, staring at the ceiling. Your entire life was going to be changing tomorrow and while you were excited, you were terrified for this change to actually happen.

You had been talking about it for years. Finally getting away from this town and starting fresh somewhere new. However, your best friend was supposed to be coming with you. But that wasn’t the case.

He was focusing on music. His brother's music. They were ready to start and make it big. What about you? You had yelled it at him. What about all the plans you two had? Instead, he told you this was something he had to do. 

Effectively letting you know in that moment that your plans, hopes, and dreams were not as important as theirs. Placing you far below him. He had told you that what he wanted to do was better than what you two were going to do. 

Squeezing your eyes shut, trying to tamp down the feelings of abandonment that pummeled you, you heard your phone ding. 

Moonie- Come outside 4 a sec

Forcing down the bile that rose quickly, you fought yourself. Tie up all loose ends before you go. Say what you need to say. Hear what he has to say. You already know what’s going to happen. Face the facts.

Throwing your covers off, you hurried out to the backyard where he was standing, waiting for you. As you closed the door behind you, you couldn’t fight your smile as you saw him standing there. He was nervous, hands constantly moving, either his hair or stuffing into his pockets. 

“Can we talk for a second?” It was happening again. No formalities, nothing. You nodded, walking alongside him as he slowly moved around the yard. “What’s up, Josh? Can’t be much worse than before,” You chuckled, feeling the awkward tension between you two.

“I need to tell you something and I’m not sure how to,” his own chuckle fell under his breath, refusing to look at you. You nudged him, arms crossed over your chest. Still swimming further than him, offering more than him, wanting him to be comfortable, forgoing your own comfort for his. “It’s me, Josh. What’s going on?” He took a deep breath, stopping in his tracks, turning to face you. 

“I love you.” Your features remained the same, eyes rolling at his words. You knew he did. You also knew that one day you would be able to say it back to him, too. Letting him know that despite it all, you still did. All because of who he was. All because he was Josh.

However, tonight was not that night. 

“Okay. What’s going on?”  He shook his head, starting up again. “No, star. I’m in love with you. I love you. I have for a long time.” Your smile didn’t grow, having trouble understanding what he was saying. 

Slowly shaking your head, panic coursing through you at his words. “What?” He nodded his head, moving towards you, closing the distance between you both. “I love you, star. You don’t understand how much I do. I have for so long. You are everything,” you moved back from him, eyes snapping up to him to see his shocked face. 

“No. Josh, no, don’t do this. Please, don’t do this.” You started speaking, moving even further away from him, retreating back into yourself as you did. “I do. I’ve loved you ever since I knew you, star. I can’t help it, you are so good to me, and we mesh so well. I have tried to show you over the years, but you wouldn’t see it and now I’m telling you, star. I love you!”

You started to walk away from him, head furiously shaking, as he trailed behind you, yelling out into the night his profession of love for you. You stopped, turning to face him as you did, seeing the tears in his eyes.

“What do you want from me, Josh? You told me two weeks ago that our plans were easily discardable! You toss me aside like,” your breath caught in your throat as you tried to get your mouth to catch up to your thoughts, “like I’m nothing to you. Then you come here and tell me that you’re in love with me? No. Absolutely not! I leave in six hours! You are the one who chose yourself over going and doing what we’ve talked about for years.” He stood rooted to his spot, going to speak over you, but you cut him off.

“No. Do not. Don’t you dare. I hate you! God, I fucking hate you, Josh!” You sobbed, hunching over as you did, feeling all of the last few weeks wash over you in a colliding tsunami. Unable to control the noises that ripped from your throat, that came from the deepest parts of your soul that wept over this. 

Over him. 

Josh went home that night, alone. You went home, sobbing to yourself in bed as you did. You moved that next morning, saying goodbye to your childhood friends. He stood in his driveway, watching as you drove off with your parents, chasing a life that didn’t include him as anything anymore. 

Vowing to do this alone. You were going to be fine.  

You didn’t know what to say to him, noticing that he really did look like shit. You just couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not moving to let him inside, you two remained where you were, gazes locked in. 

He was obviously waiting for you to start. Offer a lifeline to get the ball rolling. Not this time. His shaky hand came up to his face, rubbing at the skin, before huffing out, “Can I come in?” You didn’t want to. 

But you stepped to the side, allowing him to once again move into your space. You weren’t going to do the heavy lifting. You absolutely were not going to do it. He recognized that, growing flustered by your stand off. 

His hand went to his eyes, rubbing harshly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It has been years and I see you one time. One time. And it’s like I’m back to square one. I think I’m finally over you, find an amazing girl, then I see you at a fucking Christmas party, and you take over. Ruining my life again.”His words were snapped, spoken in true fashion of passion and indignation. 

“Then, I see you with Danny. My fucking band mate. My best friend. My brother!” He yelled, voice cracking as emotion took over his thoughts. “As if you being around wasn’t hurtful enough, you bring my brother into it!” Your head fell, shaking as you sniffled. 

“It’s none of your business what my relationship with him is. If you must know, he is just a friend, Josh.” He held a hand up to you as you spoke. 

“Do not. Do not. I couldn't care less that he’s your friend. Because he is mine. Not yours. So, you will leave him alone. You will leave all of us alone. I cannot have you around anymore. It is too fucking painful.” He stared at the floor, unable to look at you. 

Your eyes snapped up to meet him, feeling a plethora of emotions attempting to scream out at once. “Excuse me?” He didn’t blink as he reiterated what he had just spoken. “Do you even understand what I’ve been through? Did you know that the Christmas party was the first time I had seen any of my family and friends in god knows how long because of you?” 

Shaking your head, moving towards him, closing the large gap between you two as you did. “You do not get to tell me who I can and can’t be around. You don’t get to snap your fingers and have everything exactly as you want. Not how it works. You don’t think it’s painful for me?” He scoffed, head tipping back as he did.

“You don’t think that every single time I see your goddamn face I don’t replay that night over and over? Bombarding myself with thoughts of what could have been? Do you honestly think that you were the only person affected that night? That’s the problem with you, Josh! It’s all about you. Everything is always about you.” 

You weren’t sure when the tears started to fall, but now as they ran streaks down your face, you take in his expression. Confusion. Anger. Pain. All of your thoughts these last few weeks had been your own personal hell of replaying that night.

If you had said you loved him too. If you had realized what your true feelings were for him at the time. Had you said you would try. But this couldn’t just fall on your shoulders. Josh was the one who changed your plans. Choosing to pursue his own interests and give up what you two had dreamed about for years. Abandoning your dreams you had constructed together. Brought someone else home to introduce to the family. 

He was the one making it worse. 

Shaking your head, taking in a wobbly breath, you eyed him. Josh finally broke the silence that had been draping over the room. “You went to the show. You went for Danny, right?” It was whispered out. Only nodding in response, arms crossed over your chest. 

His head fell, eyeing the hardwood floors as he did. “What did you think?” When his eyes met yours again you could tell it was a genuine question. He wanted to know if you thought it was worth it. All he had done. Was it worth it?

“Danny looked great.”

Josh left that night after you spoke out those words to him. The message loud and clear. When you had been at that show you didn’t even look at him. Didn’t allow him to bask in your wondering gaze. 

What he didn’t know was that it was a total lie. He didn’t know that the entire time you stood in the arena, watching them do a performance of a lifetime, you couldn’t look anywhere else. You stared directly at him, eyes unable to look elsewhere. He was a magnet drawing your attention to him and only him. Josh was at home up there. It was Josh.

While you stood in a small room, only a couch, a clothing rack, a small vanity table, and various snacks decorating the space, your hand wrung the tissue you had in them. Waiting patiently, having been pointed this way by someone with a clipboard, you assumed you were where you were supposed to be. His name was on the door. 

As it flew open, a jumpsuit clad boy waltzing in, on stage energy still clinging to him, he almost tripped into the wall when he saw you sitting on the couch. His eyes were the biggest you’d ever seen. His head darted back to where he had been, turning back to you quickly. “Danny’s room is over there.” 

You chuckled, feeling your face burn as you did. “No, I’m in the right spot.” He was like a puppet waiting for its master to make the move for him. Nodding as he shut the door, removing his earpiece in silence. Josh was jumpy and you knew his adrenaline was still high. Far too high to be doing this. 

He didn’t want to look at you. Didn’t want to breathe the same air as you. Didn’t want to do this. At least not here. His voice wafted through the air. “I need to shower and change. Can we do this at the hotel?” You agreed, moving towards the door, but stopped. 

“I don’t know where your hotel is.” He went to his pants pocket, pulling out the key card. When he told you where it was, what room to go to, you went quickly. You weren’t sure why you were even doing this. It’s not like he deserved it. 

Everyone else did. To at least be able to be in the same space together. Possibly get your friend back. The person you missed the absolute most in the world. Who you so desperately wanted to call at the end of a long day and rant to. The moon to your stars. 

Standing in the dead center of the unbelievably tidy hotel room, you came to the conclusion that he either hadn’t checked into the room yet or housekeeping had already cleaned up after him. Seeing a singular suitcase sitting on the floor, you wanted to peek. 

Knowing it was going to be a bit before he was getting back to the room, you knelt beside it, opening the front and seeing the clothes folded so neatly inside. It was the same variation of clothing just in different forms. White shirts, both short and long sleeve, tan khakis either in shorts or pants, and long socks. You laughed to yourself. 

Incredibly simple yet screaming that it was his. “Snooping around, huh?” You jumped up, startled by the voice behind you, heart racing. Your hand collided with the side of the tv stand and dresser. “Oh fuck!” You yelped out, crushing your hand to your chest to get the pain to subside. 

“That’s what you get for being nosy,” he lightly laughed, going to the bathroom and coming out with a bandaid to put on the cut that was on the top of your hand. “Thanks,” you murmured out, letting him place it on the skin. 

He moved back as quickly as he had approached you, shrugging as he did. “You came to the show,” you nodded. “I did,” his head bobbed, curls bouncing as he did. “Cool,” you offered a small smile. “It was cool. You guys are great,” his genuine smile graced his face, dimples lightly coming out. 

Neither of you offered anything more. Until he sighed, sitting on the edge of the borrowed bed, placing his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, star,” his voice was shaky, cracking, displaying how he felt. How broken he was. 

“I never even apologized to you. I can’t believe I never even said I was sorry. I am so sorry,” his head looked back up, red rimmed eyes connecting with yours, pure exhaustion and anger swirling in them. “I know you didn’t,” you whispered out, unable to hold his stare. 

He sighed, hands falling between his thighs as he hunched forward. “I know why you said it.” You sniffled, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes as you relived the painful scream you had let out when you had said it. Truly feeling it course through you. The unseeded enmity. 

“I don’t know how you do it. Continuously throw my life off its course. Ruining it with every step you take. I don’t know how you do it,” you were shocked, jaw falling slack at him. “You destroyed me when you left that night, you should’ve just murdered me when you came to the show for Danny. I truly hate you, star,” tears fell down the bridge of his nose, the tip red as he sniffled, fingers locking together as his shoulders shook. 

Unmoving. Playing out every scenario. Every action. Deciding that you had been living with regret for far too long. Tired of dealing with the consequences of that night all those years ago. Just tired. He was swimming to you. Crossing the gulf after you had reached the quarter mark. Not willing to meet halfway. Wanting him to come to you. And he was. 

“I love you.” Your eyes couldn’t see anything, but him. Obsessed with how captivating he was. How mesmerizing he could be. Even at his lowest, he was a spectacle to see. “I am still so mad at you. I don’t think I will ever get over what happened, but fuck, I love you. I think that’s why it hurt so bad when you said it to me. I didn’t want you to tell me that. I wanted you to tell me that you despise me. That you couldn’t stand the sight of me. That it made you repulsed to be in my presence. It would’ve made it so much easier.” 

He blinked. Mumbling out a response that was his thoughts trying to process what was occurring. “You said you hated me.” You laughed, a gut filled, escaping laugh. “I do. I absolutely do.” When you caught your breath, eyes scanning him to see his reaction, it was a split second. 

He had enveloped you in him. Pent up aggression and anger and sorrow. All crashing together and fighting against the other to dominate the situation.

A slower meeting this time, savoring each other, memorizing the way his lips moved against yours. How his tongue would sweep your bottom lip, moving inwards to taste you like a starving man replenishing his appetite. 

The shaking of his hands as he held your face in them, thumbs sweeping across the softness of your cheeks. Fingertips tucking behind your ears, slowly tilting your head back to greet him. 

Moving as he willed you to. Landing on the mattress that digs into the back of your knees, allowing him to explore you for the first time as a different pairing. No longer as best friends nor the villain in each other's story, but as something that was uncharted between you two. 

Greedily accepting him in between your legs. Feeling how full and complete you felt with him like this. The tip of his cock brushing your cervix, reaching depths that no one else had ever been. 

Warmth radiated from you two, skin sticking together, moans filling the room. Impending orgasms only seconds from meshing together. His arms wrapped around you, encompassing you in what grasp he had, not letting you go. 

I love you’s shared as he filled you in the most intimate way someone could. Panted out and landed on the lips of your lover. Forehead resting against yours as his movements stilled, allowing you both to come down and allow your muscles to loosen their grip. 

You laid together, not speaking. Shoulders almost touching but not quite. Both of you were staring at the ceiling, unsure of what the next move was. About what to do. How to maneuver this. Going forward, how was this going to work? 

It didn’t matter. Not at that moment. Where you both were just enveloped in the possibilities of the future. Of the hope that was now a glistening reality, waiting for one of you to grasp it and guide you both forward. Terrified to make the move. The two of you rattling in anxiety.

His hand laid flat on the rumpled white sheet, yours directly next to his, laying identical. You slowly reach over, linking your fingers together. A silent promise shared between you two. 

A promise to deal with the consequences of this night. To go forward together. Figuring out whatever tomorrow would hold. Together. 

#ficthots #josh kiszka #joshua kiszka #greta van fleet #greta van fleet smut #greta van fleet fan fiction #josh kiszka fanfiction #josh kiszka imagine #josh kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet imagine #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka x you #josh kiszka x y/n #josh kiszka x reader smut #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner

[girlietips]

Big Sister Advice

I saw a TikTok of a girl doing advice she would give to her little sister if she had one. I thought it was cute so here’s mine🤍🩷🥰🫶🏻

No man worth your time is gonna plan a date for the day of. He doesn’t value your time so if a guy makes last minute plans you say no I am busy.

Match the scents of your lotion soaps and perfumes.

If some one is raising their voice at you just stand up straight and speak at a normal level do not raise yourself voice.

You can hate another girl with your whole being but you never not protect her from men. Whether that be when they are talking bad or from even being hurt physically. Protect other women!

Only cuss around your good friends and people you know won’t be offended by it. Or just don’t at all.

Matte makeup will always last longer and photograph better in the long run. No matter how cute glowy makeup is don’t wear it to go out you’ll look sweaty.

Go slow and take your time in everything you do. Rushing leads to mistakes and looks like you don’t know what you are doing. Especially with speaking people listen more when you speak slower and you’ll sound smarter.

If you make a point to move daily and make healthy swaps to your diet you will be healthier than majority of people.

Majority of people can’t tell what designer looks like if it’s unlabeled but everyone can tell if something is cheaply made. You don’t have to spend a fortune to look expensive if you buy well made pieces. They don’t even have to be designer just a good fabric and simple design.

Jewelry can turn an outfit from boring to Pinterest worthy so match your metals and wear lots.

Staying home is infinitely better than hanging out with people that are toxic, irresponsible, or childish. Don’t do stupid things just because everyone else is doing it good people will respect your boundaries.

Being careless with your help is not cute do not be binge drinking, smoking, or any other substance.

As always I love answering questions and will try to answer all of them to my best ability. Have a good day cuties 🩷🫶🏻🥰

#it girl #that girl #girlblogging #glow up #self care #coquette #self love #healthy #healthyliving #becoming that girl

[princesssarisa]

Character ask: Queen Esther

Favorite thing about them: Her courage and selflessness when she risks her life to save her people, and her cleverness in the way she uses flattery, entertainment, and well-chosen wording to maneuver the villainous Haman into a vulnerable position and turn her royal husband against him.

Least favorite thing about them: I suppose the fact that at first she's reluctant to approach the king without being summoned and come out as Jewish to him. Of course it's natural that she's afraid to risk her life, but still, thousands of other people's lives are on the line and she almost chooses to protect herself rather than them.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I'm part Jewish.

*I'm often afraid to reveal my Jewish heritage in public.

*I often wear purple – most mass-produced Queen Esther costumes for Purim seem to dress her in purple, since it was associated with royalty in the ancient world.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm not married to a king.

*I'm not an orphan.

*I've never been to the Middle East.

Favorite line:

Her instructions to Mordecai when she agrees to speak to the king on the Jews' behalf:

"Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”

Her reveal of her Jewish heritage to her husband, with its clever rhetoric of saying that she and her people are threatened, arousing her husband's protective outrage, before she reveals that by this she means Haman's planned genocide of the Jews that her husband had blindly agreed to:

“If I have found favor with you, Your Majesty, and if it pleases you, grant me my life—this is my petition. And spare my people—this is my request. For I and my people have been sold to be destroyed, killed and annihilated."

brOTP: Her cousin and foster father Mordecai.

OTP: Well, I have to say her husband King Ahasuerus, though it's hardly a modern love match, and though there are plenty of valid reasons to loathe him and wish Esther could leave him. If not for their marriage, she couldn't have saved her people.

nOTP: Haman.

Random headcanon: I accept the Talmudic tradition that she was a vegetarian rather than eat non-kosher meat in her husband's palace, but not the tradition that she lived on only legumes and seeds. While I understand the appeal of saying "Out of virtue and piety she turned down the most tempting dishes in favor of plain, simple food," that's not a balanced diet, and Persian cuisine has so many wonderful vegetable dishes she could have chosen from!

Unpopular opinion: I don't think she and Queen Vashti need to be pitted against each other. While I don't like the tradition of vilifying Vashti in order to glorify Esther as the superior, deserving replacement, neither do I think admiring Vashti's courage and defiance means we should look down on Esther for being "docile and submissive" or "complicit with the patriarchy." After all, it's by finally breaking the rules that Esther saves her people, and ironically, despite having banished Vashti for her disobedience and chosen Esther as a suitably docile replacement, Ahasuerus obeys Esther's will in the end. I admire and sympathize with both women and see Vashti as ultimately vindicated by Esther.

Song I associate with them: Well, it's mainly a song about Haman, not Esther, but I have to choose this popular silly children's song for Purim, "A Wicked, Wicked Man." It's the song I most associate with the holiday.

Favorite picture of them:

These various paintings.

#character ask #queen esther #the bible #hebrew bible #old testament #purim #judaism #ask game

[probablyasocialecologist]

Brazil, an agricultural superpower and the world’s largest net exporter of food, has also seen hunger and poverty rise in recent years, after the administration of Jair Bolsonaro dismantled social policies, amid an economic downturn. Heartbreakingly, almost three in every five households do not always have enough to eat, while 33 million people (about 15 percent of the population) are going hungry. But now President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, who was inaugurated in January, has stepped up. “I am obsessed with fighting hunger … I want workers to once again be able to have three meals a day in a dignified manner and to provide quality food for their children,” he said as he launched the Brasil Sem Fome (Brazil Without Hunger) plan in late August. Arguably the most comprehensive set of anti-hunger policies the world has ever seen, this bold plan opens a new front in the global war on hunger, just as hope was beginning to fade. The Brasil Sem Fome – on which the National Food and Nutrition Security Council (CONSEA), the organisation I chair, advised – has far-reaching but simple goals. It aims to wipe Brazil off the UN Hunger Map by 2030 – no ifs or buts – and to ensure that more than 95 percent of households are food secure by the end of the decade. It also aims to improve access to healthy diets and kick-start a transition to sustainable agriculture. Some 32 programmes and policies will be leveraged to achieve these goals – from cash transfers to poor households to the purchase of healthy school food from smallholder farmers; from agroecological transition payments to support for Black and rural women, to bolstering protection of the Amazon. All of this will come under an apparatus that is purpose-built to bring the voices of food-insecure and marginalised people into the decision-making process. If this plan sounds familiar, that is because it is a recast of the Fome Zero (Zero Hunger) policies introduced by Lula’s first administration in 2003 – but with an extra dose of ambition on democratic governance and sustainably produced food, reaching the most marginalised groups.

#brazil #lula #food #hunger #lula da silva #inequality

[my-exmo-life]

|| TW for Mormonism, internalised fatphobia, discussions of fatphobia and diets, negative self talk ||

Pls excuse me I’m mildly tipsy (but not tipsy enough that I can’t add a TW bc we respect people here on this blog)

You know what we don’t talk about enough? The idealisation of thinness in the Mormon church.

All the aesthetics and ideals are of these size 0 blonde white women and, shockingly, that’s harmful.

I discovered this week that wearing a skirt is triggering for me bc it makes me look a little bigger and makes my belly relax from the default “must suck in”.

IM NOT EVEN OVERWEIGHT.

I’m a little “bigger” than I “should be” according to society but dear fucking god who cares?? Call the goddamn police, I guess it’s a crime to love food.

I bought a beautiful skirt. It’s got kinda witchy vibes. These cool suns and moons and it’s so breathable and comfy. I wore it work. AND GUESS FUCKING WHAT. I was uncomfortable all day.

I looked fucking amazing even tho I was just at work. But my stomach said lol nope you don’t get to be comfy without suffering.

I’ve taken to just measuring the waists of pants I want to buy so I don’t have to try them on (usually works just fine) so I did that to a pair of jeans I was wanting to buy (I’d already bought a smaller size that didn’t fit and I was doing a great job feeling neutral about having to size up)

So I measured the waist and saw it should fit but out of paranoia I measured my own and IT HAD GONE UP 10 FUCKING CENTIMETRES.

So I tried the jeans on anyway bc hey, why not, I feel like shit anyway. And it was too tight. Logically I know I was just bloated and shit but there was that little voice in my head that was going “fat, gross, disgusting, whale, etc”

And it sounded just like all the Mormon women that came before me. My mom. My grandmother. My aunt. All women I love and adore and who I don’t have a single memory of when they weren’t on a diet.

I hate that fat phobia is so baked into this religion. I’ve been out for going on 3 years and it’s still fucking affecting me. I can’t wear my beautiful new skirt because it fucks me up too much.

I’m planning to deprogram myself so I can just wear the fucking skirt but I have no idea how long it’ll take. I’ll do it tho. I know that much.

Also guess what. I measured my waist again the next morning. Back down ten centimetres.

If we ever want girls and women and just people in general to feel even slightly normal about their bodies we need to teach them about weight fluctuations and that they’re normal.

I know through experience and research that they’re normal. But I still felt like shit in that moment. It’s just fatphobia, plain and simple.

#exmo #exmormon #exmo stuff #I have not edited this well I just know it #blame it on the rum #centimetres telling on me #I’m not from the usa who could have guessed #I want to fight people #please let this reach the right audience or just go straight into the void idc anymore

[old-school-butch]

Great news anon.

It sounds like you're in luck, I'm glad that worked out for you.

Now, you must protect your happiness with some basic risk management - that's the 'hope for the best but plan for the worst' kind of thinking about common issues. Statistically, here's some thoughts of possible dangers and how to minimize them:

Prepare for parental freakout. Keep a bug-out bag with clothes, id, a new phone, a list of resources you might need and some spare cash either on hand or nearby (maybe with a friend or other safe place) in case you need to make a run for it. Yeah, I'm paranoid, and tbh throwing money at everything often isn't necessary, but there are a few situations in life where a problem can go away by applying a surprisingly reasonable amount of cash to it. It's time to protect your happiness against this potential. I'd suggest getting your shit together so you have several months worth of living expenses stashed away where you can access it in an emergency. I highly suggest taking up camping - it can come in handy if you're forced out and if not, you can still use those skills to dance in the woods in Michigan someday.

Do you know any gay guys? It's possible you and your best friend might take to double dating. Yeah, it's old school but it works. People will see what they expect to see, more so even than what they want to see. This is a valuable tool to use to misdirect people.

All things are innocent to the innocent. Playing dumb has worked for centuries.

This will probably involve lying for a while, but honesty is a luxury few women, and even fewer lesbians, can afford. Be careful who you tell, they will hold power over you. You can clear the air when you can stand on your own. In the meantime, keep it simple and don't feel guilty. Remember, the only battles you want to be in are battles you can win. If you can't win a fight, pick a different battlefield.

Brush and floss your teeth every day. Eat a healthy diet, maintain a healthy weight, avoid smoking and drugs. Focus your energy on your future and protect your health - its a huge asset at your age and sickness will limit your independence and your ability to save money. Also, accidents and suicide are big risks at your age - learn to take care of yourself so you can achieve independence quickly, without taking unnecessary risks of course.

Make plans for your future, for you and your girl. My general rule is that it's possible to endure almost any situation for 2-3 years, beyond that it's increasingly likely you will stumble and the plan will crumble. Planning is key to writing your future so prepare some scenarios you can prepare for or avoid, and some dreams you want to chase.

Good luck anon. Your future is not yet written, but I wish you smooth sailing.

[kelsieiswriting]

Kelsie Hogue 001

The experiment was always rigged. Raye knew from the start that when she was offered a position at Resolution Testing, she would walk into something unexpected, though she did not think she would be stood in front of a jumbo screen watching a couple she was tasked to create.

Working through the night and into the next morning, Raye observed her work. She had planned out every possible outcome, but it was thrilling to watch her subjects in action. There were two, both young women pulled from a selection of people with an age range of 20 to 25, both willing to donate their body to science for the end pay of fifteen thousand dollars. Resolution Testing was a front for many medically, and morally, questionable clinical trials, including some where people joined and were required to sign non-disclosure agreements and do not resuscitate papers to enforce silence regarding the company’s work.

As an aspiring scientist willing to do anything to get in the door, Rayen Goodwill thought of herself as an astounding candidate to run the trial. In her eyes, Resolution Testing was taking a chance on her, and at an impressionable stage in her life, Raye was put in charge of coercing two peer-like subjects into establishing an incredible bond under a set amount of time. She knew the final task would be to break the bond in the end, but not much else.

The reports each night detailed Subject One and Two being civil at the start of their forced proximity. Being roommates from the start they had to share not just a single space but also the exact same routine.

At 9:45 AM, Subject One and Two were woken up and would make their shared bed. They had exactly ten minutes to be ready for their day and at the door, which was noted to be a struggle at first. Subject Two had problems waking up on cue, unable to sleep through the night, even with a set lights out time each evening. While that was happening, Subject One would grow irritated at the lack of accountability her fellow subject had for herself and took to waking the subject up herself. After a few weeks, the two sorted this issue out, bonding over what turned out to be a mutual need for physical touch and holding each other under their covers.

Meals would include a simple breakfast of fruits and fresh pastries in the mornings, lunch of rotating finger sandwiches and salads, and finally, hearty meal in the evenings such as high protein stews and roasts. Resolution Testing wanted to ensure a light starting meal and then end with foods that would nourish and mentally satisfy their subjects, like a reward for completing the day. Raye oversaw the initial routine, which included personalized workout regimen, but the meal planning was sent down from the higher ups and were nonnegotiable, even when Raye questioned if the subjects would adjust to the menu.

In the end, this would create a sense of steady repetition that Subjects One and Two would grow to enjoy, frequently making remarks about how it was nice to not have to buy their own food and force themselves to cook. Neither subject found it odd, the way they went from nourishing their bodies to prepare for the day to being rewarded with food for getting through the day instead. They accepted their conditions, grateful that they were taking part in a trial that focused so much on their mental health and physical wellbeing. Subject One was a clinical trial veteran, having doe close to twenty before this one, some with larger restrictions to diet and mobility. Subject Two, on the other hand, was only on her second trial.

About two months into the routine, Subjects One and Two no longer questioned much about their stay. Resolution Testing had generously taken care of everything outside of their trial as further incentive, down to their rent and car payments while they were away from their normal lives. This level of preparation on the company’s side of things allowed Raye to focus on other things and discuss other details more frequently than she expected to be able to. Without knowing, Raye had done her part of the job perfectly to this point, creating an environment where two subjects would fall completely codependent on each other, however that relationship may form. All that was left was to see it through-break the bond.

Behind the scenes, Resolution Testing had built an entire city, down to meticulously placing homes and families to fill them. The city was built around the testing lab, with the lab in the center. It was designed to entrap the people inside the lab without them realizing there was no way out. All roads led back to the middle, Raye realized after walking through it. She also noticed that the doors to Resolution Testing needed a keycard on every end, including the insides, except for the side facing the south exit. It was locked on the inside, requiring specific access allowance, but you could open the door from the outside.

The intention was that the subjects could walk back into the lab but could not walk out without permission.

Today, Subject One and Two woke up to their usual alarm, only to find their routine disturbed. Subject One rolled out of bed expecting to find her few personal belongings on the nightstand but instead finding it clear of everything but a bottle of water and a wristband. She looked around hesitantly, and then slid the wristband on before shaking Subject Two lightly. Subject Two stirred a bit before doing the same, asking if it was part of the trial. They went back and forth with their usual morning greetings and routines.

Subject One made her way over to the door, wringing her hair out from the shower and stopping to look at the trial countdown. It was day 98 and the countdown had two days left on it. Subject Two stood there a minute before passing by, taking the time to remind her fellow subject of their soon end to their time together. Popping her head out of the bathroom door, Subject One took in Subject Two’s face, watching as she brushed her teeth. A glance of intimacy was reflected on the camera that Raye was observing the women from.

Moments later, the door to their living space opened and the subjects walked out, expecting to head to the gymnasium per their normal routine. Subject One walked up to the door, expecting the sensor to activate, and was shocked to see that the clearance was denied. The light by the keycard flashed red and made a clicking noise that indicated the lock was engaged. Never having to use a keycard before, neither subject tried to walk through again, knowing they didn’t have a way in. The subjects had tried exploring their first few days of the trial but had met locked doors each time they went to an unauthorized area.

Visibly irritated, Subject Two made a comment to Subject One about wanting to beat her personal record with today’s run and turned away from the door. Subject One slipped her hand down to meet the hand of Subject Two and squeezed, the gesture not going unnoticed. Both women leaned into the small signs of intimacy when they happened but quickly moved away each time. Raye detailed their actions many times a day, proud of her progress in nurturing the tension between the two subjects.

After spending days together with little contact to anyone outside from they formed a relationship close in comparison to child-like lovers, clearly unsure of their own feelings. They stole glances when the chance arose and shared a bed like it was second nature. Raye initially wondered if they knew this was part of the trial, considering the subjects signed up for a routine-based trial that would track their physical and mental capabilities after 100 days of being in a no stress, all needs met environment. It would have been interesting to that by itself, but Raye felt incredibly lucky to be a part of something more scientifically substantial.

Raye didn ‘t care if doing this would cost her salvation. She threw herself into her work, spending every waking moment observing and notating. As far as Raye was aware, it was only the three women in the building on a daily basis. She wondered, probably just as much as the subjects, who did the maintenance and deep cleaning, but that was something she knowingly signed away her ignorance to. At the start of the clinical trial, her contact stated that any personnel necessary could enter or leave the lab on the terms of their own contacts, including herself. Should Raye encounter any of these people, she was not to speak to them unnecessarily, or even make her presence known outside of being an employee for Resolution Testing. She was not willing to jeopardize her position to question that or attempt to satiate any curiosity.

Those contractors seemed to watch her, but not once in the 98 days this far did she get to do the same to them. Raye was almost as isolated as her subjects.

Today, she would finally be allowed to stand before her subjects, which is why Raye waited patiently at the end of the hallway the subjects were now walking through. Unsure of what to do next, they were making their way to the emergency phone attached to a back wall, the one bit of furniture that felt out of place from the rest of the intentionally decorated lab.

The two subjects chatted as they walked, not noticing Raye in her lab coat, or the yellow and blue RT logo stitched on it. Raye was granted permission to wear the official lab gear these last few days, since she was finally facing the work she devoted herself to for the past few months. After a few minutes, Subject One looked straight ahead and found herself in front of Raye, who looked authoritative and collected with her clipboard. Raye stuck her hand out, introducing herself as Dr. Rayen Goodwill, the lead for the clinical. She shook each of the subjects’ hands, telling them that she was the one observing them in the lab all this time.

Both subjects introduced themselves as well, though their names were not processed by Raye, or anyone who would watch the cameras later on. Their names were not important to their contribution to the trial.

Subjects One and Two were briefed on the success of the trial this far and were directed into an area they had never been in before. They walked into a dimly lit room lined with shelves of clothes and daily essentials, clearly a stock room. Raye went into her speech about having permission to do a congratulatory event as a thank you from Resolution Testing for coming up on the completion of the trial. She instructed the subjects to select items they feel they would need for a two day trip in the simulated city surrounding the lab. This would be a treat, but the subjects would still be monitored with their wristbands as part of the trial. The time spent outside the lab was meant to stimulate their brains with basic interactions as a means to observe their bodily reactions coming out of the trial and entering society once more.

It took a fair amount of explanation to convince Subject One, who appeared to be hesitant to return home as is, but Subject Two was ready to leave as soon as possible. Her excitement began to rub off to Subject One, who finally agreed to the last two day event. Raye had believed she caught a loving smile from Subject One and believed it was safe to assume that they were now partners, even if they didn’t think so yet. She would have to watch the camera footage back when all was done to confirm this.

There was an obvious difference between the items Subject One and Two selected, though both seemed to gravitate towards things that would typically be kept on their person in a normal setting. Aside from their phones, the subjects received their previously confiscated personal belongings, which they took along with their new outside adventure gear. Raye observed from the doorway, waiting for their ten minutes to be up. Her initial excitement for the next steps was wearing off, as she realized she didn’t know what was ahead of her. When the tablet she was holding silently woke up in her hands, Raye announced the next steps.

Subject One and Two followed behind Raye as she walked to the south exit and slid her access key into the card holder. They walked out of the testing center, the subjects deeply inhaling the summer air.

Raye walked as she checked her tablet, instructing the women to explore the city while she read through her next task. Once she understood, she watched as Subject One and Two engrossed themselves in the architecture, then turned to walk back inside.

***

Raye found herself in front of the tv screen, having watched the subjects decide to camp out for the night. They spent the better part of the daylight walking around the city, then cuddling up together under the stars during the nightfall. Subject One had been nervous all afternoon, but Raye knew it could possibly be due to the outing itself and nothing more. It wasn’t until Subject Two snuggled up in Subject One’s arms and whispered an admission of love that Raye knew she had succeeded.

For the final step, she needed to force the two to break their bond. Resolution Testing warned Raye at the time of signing her contract that they may ask immoral things as part of the trial, and Raye was as prepared as she could be for the first trial.

All paid actors in the city had vacated the area at the start of dusk, leaving the subjects to their own devices. Around the time the next morning when the city came back to life, the subjects had naturally woken up and not received any notice to head back to the lab, so they continued on with their exploring. Raye was itching to make the announcement when the time came, having to sit on it overnight. The time came on the 99th day of the trial, midday, and she spoke clearly, focusing on enunciating each word without a single mistake.

The immediate reaction Subject One had was enough for Raye to feel the immense pride that had begun to bubble within her. The woman had been drinking a bottle of soda, soaking in the warmth of her now partner. Subject Two was dumbfounded, hearing that only one person would make it to the end of the trial and receive the award money. It was the news that not only one person would proceed, but also that it was a test to see who would eliminate the other subject first.

Subject One smashed her bottle off the edge of the table she was sitting at almost immediately, with no hesitation. Her face was dead set, cold, like she couldn’t risk showing anything else. Her eyes narrowed sharply, staring straight at the other subject in front of her. Subject Two looked betrayed, terrified when the broken edge of the bottle made it up to her neck. She started sobbing, her throat bouncing from beginning to hyperventilate. Raye couldn’t see if it drew any blood from her view.

Subject One held the bottle in its current position for a moment before flipping it around in her hand so that she now held the sharp edges. She shook it out, expectantly, drawing fresh blood from her own hand. The surrendering gesture wasn’t taken lightly, with Subject Two folding immediately, begging.

She was as desperate as she could be, pleading with her partner to not do it, to not take the bait. It was just money; it was not worth the cost.

Subject One understood, though, that either one walked out or none, and she wanted to give her partner the option to decide for herself. Raye listened to Subject Two’s voice coming through the speakers, following along with every time her voice faltered. Subject One took a moment to explain that if no one won, they would both be dead anyway. It was decided without them knowing, and Raye respected her subject for catching onto the situation so quickly. She hoped her next set of subjects would perform similarly.

She didn’t act on her partner handing over her life, Subject Two. She stood as if her limbs were numb and here was no remedy. Subject One sighed and took her partner’s hand, wrapping it around her own. Raye noticed more than Subject Two did with this interaction.

Subject One pulled Subject Two into a deep kiss, wrapping her unused hand hand around Subject Two’s neatly tied back hair. Raye watched intently as Subject One gently pulled the bottle out from where it was stuck between them. Subject Two started to cry harder, whispering her cries up against the lips she was kissing. To Raye, the pleas rang deaf.

A scream comes from one of the two subjects, maybe both. When Subject One pulled away from the embrace, Subject Two fell to her knees, one hand to her throat. She rocked back and forth for a second before sitting on her legs and giving a small smile to her partner. Subject One stood still, taking the guilt and consequences in with the last of the love she would receive from Subject Two.

Raye was drawn to the way Subject One broke down afterwards, stealing the last bit of life from her partner with a final kiss. She watched as her subject began to panic, grabbing at Subject Two’s throat as if to apply pressure. Instead of watching further, Raye began to move quickly, hearing the doors behind her open. Resolution Testing’s security team surrounded the walls in the observation room and made a show of arms. When Raye saw the founder of Resolution Testing walk into the room, she began to understand that she was part of the clinical trial herself.

#creative writing #author #writing #fiction #short fiction #short story #kelsieiswriting

[without-it]

ok i lied i love to update u guys. heres updates and general tips and goals for the next fast ❤️

said id wait till thursday but at my core im a little silly guy who loves to lie and tell untruths!! so heres the fasting tea abt wrapping up that last 90 hour fast and starting this one

first off, the refeeding and weight gain update from the two days of eating "normally" : weight update this morning, from my last weigh in on monday, i gained about 1/3 of a pound (i lost just over 10 pounds so really good return) so really happy with that honestly. refeeding is such a huge and often overlooked aspect to fasting, and if its handled wrong it can often negate all ur hard work.

when i refeed i focus on PLAIN low calorie foods. if you end a fast with curry to be perfectly honest ur gonna shit urself to death and have a fucking miserable time lmao. my go to is a PLAIN UNSEASONED steamed veggie dish (usually steamed broc and corn, broc bc low calorie and corn bc i am a corn GIRLIE), and often with miso soup to go with it. unseasoned foods help with the upset tummy after ending a fast, and get ur body used to actually processing glucose again. and miso soup is just a nice low calorie simple food to add some fun into that meal. pls dear god do not eat sweet foods / high salt / high seasoned in general / or heavy meat or sauced dishes as a fast breaking meal. if youve fasted for more than a 4 days im not joking you can literally end up dying from that so just be responsible shawtie damn. (look up refeeding syndrome im not a doctor so im not gonna give u the lowdown)

things to focus on during the fast to help prevent rapid weight gain: drink ur god damn liquids. i dont care if ur getting water in thru diet soda or tea or fizzy water or even coffee. that is water, that is a pro and do not listen to ppl who say that water "doesnt count". when you restrict liquids during a fast you will obvi lose more weight in the short term, but during refeeding if u start drinking normally again (as i really hope u are lmao) you will gain this water weight rapidly. u turned ur body into a desert for a few days, and best believe the second u have more liquid ur body is gonna hang on to that for dear life. its better for u and less stressful in the long run to just keep up ur liquid intake during fasts trust me.

and then this is my go to routine for every fast:

every day i take these suppliments: high strength collagen, iron, zinc, a womens multivit, and the unsung hero of fasting? FIBER TABLETS. bro i can fast for over a week and still not be constipated bc im on my SIGMA FIBER GRINDSET

and then my daily intake: at least a liter of water every day with the "Endura brand low carb sugar free electrolyte drink" (in lemon lime flavor) (i put 2 scoops aka 2 serves per liter of water) the taste is super mid but honestly drinking that every day on my last fast made things such a breeze. literally like no headaches, no cramps, minimal dizziness, and my sleep was mostly uneffected.

then i also have either a can or two of coke zero. yes i know it has 1.1 calories and diet coke would be technically more appropriate for a fast, but i hate diet coke and u will not catch my ass drinking it

and then a cup or two of green tea with a 0 calorie sweetener. no recommendations on the sugar bc honestly i swap between brands depending on whats avail at my grocery store that week lmao.

all this liquid and high variety keeps me kinda full, and provides fun taste enrichment so i dont literally go monkey insane drinking plain water for a week. cool if u can do that but ur literally a psycho and not to be trusted frankly

so current goal is at least lunch time saturday. i have plans to do lunch w my friend but honestly if im not rly hungry then and i wanna keep the fast going im just gonna cancel that lunch or even push it to dinner to just get a few more hours in!

as usual, expect weight updates every morning. the starting situation is: 87kg exactly ( 191.8 pounds) , 20% of my weight loss goal achieved. see yall tmro for the update!

#tw ana diary #4norexi4 #ana trigger #i wanna be weightless #i want to be weightless #i wanna lose weight #tw ana fast #i wish i was weightless #tw ana shit #ed not ed sheeran #i wanna be skinnier #4narex1a

[aifatfic]

Accepting fate

I've updated the AI's author context. Same prompt.

Prompt: Give me a story about a morbidly obese man

Meet Chevron, a middle-aged man, who has always struggled with his weight. Despite numerous attempts at dieting and exercise, he finds himself steadily increasing in size over time. As the years pass, Chevron's body transforms from merely chubby to downright monstrous - his once soft belly now protrudes outwards like a deflated balloon, while his thighs have become so thick that they rub together constantly whenever he moves. His arms hang limply by his sides due to sheer gravity pulling them downward, while his neck is almost completely obscured beneath layers of fat tissue.

As Chevron continues to grow larger, he faces various challenges related to his newfound bulkiness. He can no longer fit through standard doorways or even some windows; instead, he must rely on customized openings designed specifically for him. Public transportation proves difficult too; bus seats were never meant for someone of his girth, forcing him to either take up two seats or risk breaking one altogether. Even simple tasks like shopping require careful planning and preparation, lest he get stuck inside narrow aisles or crushed under heavy shelves.

Despite these difficulties, there are moments where Chevron feels liberated by his immense size. When he steps onto a scale, seeing numbers far beyond what most people could ever imagine brings him a sense of pride. And when he sits down at home after work, feeling the cushions sink beneath him, he knows that this is who he truly is - a colossal being whose very existence challenges societal norms.

However, not everyone shares Chevron's acceptance of his condition. Society views him as a freak show, pointing and laughing behind his back. Women avoid eye contact, fearful of what might happen if they cross paths with such a behemoth. Children run away screaming, terrified by the sight of him looming overhead. Life becomes increasingly isolating for Chevron, until eventually, he decides to embrace his fate fully.

He starts attending support groups for super-obese individuals, finding comfort in knowing that others share similar experiences. Together, they form friendships based on understanding rather than judgment, bonding over shared struggles and triumphs. They celebrate milestones together, such as reaching certain weight benchmarks or successfully navigating public spaces without incident.

In private, though, Chevron allows himself to indulge further in his appetites. Food becomes less about sustenance and more about pure enjoyment - he savors each bite, allowing the flavors to dance across his tongue before slowly melting away into nothingness. Over time, his waistline expands even further, pushing past any reasonable limit. But despite appearances, Chevron remains content within himself, secure in the knowledge that he controls his own destiny regardless of society's expectations.

#aifatfic #femalefeeder #male feedism #big handsome man #bhm fiction #gaining weight #stuffed feedee #death feedee #bhm weight gain #bhm art #bhm fat #bhm ffa #bhm wg #ffa bhm #ffa #feedee belly #fat belly #weight gain encouragement #intentional weight gain #weight gain fiction #weight gain encourager #fat kink #extreme feederism #extreme feedism #fantasy feeder #eating kink #feedee kink #feeder kink #feederism kink #feeding kink

[nazrul09834]

The Definitive Guide to Effective Diet Plans for Optimal Health

Chapter 1: Understanding the Importance of a Diet Plan

Embarking on a journey towards weight loss or weight gain requires a comprehensive understanding of the role a diet plan plays in achieving your goals. A diet plan serves as the foundation upon which you build your nutritional habits, guiding your food choices and portion sizes to align with your objectives. For those aiming to shed excess pounds, a well-structured diet plan not only facilitates weight loss but also ensures that you do so healthily and sustainably. Similarly, individuals seeking to gain weight can utilize a diet plan to strategically increase calorie intake and promote muscle growth. Whether your goal is to slim down or bulk up, a carefully curated diet plan provides structure and guidance, empowering you to make informed decisions about your nutrition. By adhering to a personalized diet plan, you can optimize your nutrient intake, regulate your metabolism, and achieve lasting results.

Chapter 2: Diet Plan for Weight Loss

For many individuals, embarking on a weight loss journey can be daunting, but with a well-crafted diet plan, success becomes attainable. A diet plan for weight loss typically involves reducing calorie intake while ensuring adequate nutrient consumption to support overall health. This often entails incorporating more fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains into your meals, while limiting processed foods, sugary snacks, and high-calorie beverages. By creating a calorie deficit through diet and physical activity, you can effectively shed excess pounds and improve your body composition. Moreover, a sustainable weight loss diet plan emphasizes portion control, mindful eating, and behavioral changes to promote long-term success and prevent weight regain. With consistency and dedication, adhering to a tailored diet plan can lead to significant improvements in both physical health and overall well-being.

Chapter 3: Diet Plan for Weight Loss at Home

Achieving weight loss goals from the comfort of your own home is entirely feasible with the right approach. A diet plan for weight loss at home involves making mindful food choices, preparing meals with wholesome ingredients, and establishing a supportive environment conducive to healthy living. By stocking your kitchen with nutritious staples and planning meals ahead of time, you can avoid impulsive eating and stay on track with your dietary goals. Additionally, incorporating regular physical activity into your daily routine complements your diet plan, further enhancing weight loss outcomes. With the convenience of home-cooked meals and the flexibility to customize your environment, implementing a diet plan for weight loss at home offers both convenience and effectiveness.

Chapter 4: Beginner Diet Plan for Weight Loss for Female

Women embarking on their weight loss journey may benefit from a beginner-friendly diet plan tailored to their specific needs and preferences. A beginner diet plan for weight loss for females focuses on establishing healthy eating habits, gradually reducing calorie intake, and incorporating regular physical activity into daily routines. This may involve starting with simple meal swaps, such as replacing sugary beverages with water or opting for grilled chicken over fried alternatives. Additionally, incorporating nutrient-dense foods like fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins provides essential vitamins and minerals while promoting satiety. By starting with manageable changes and gradually progressing, beginner female weight loss enthusiasts can build confidence and momentum towards their goals, setting the stage for long-term success.

Chapter 5: Benefits of a Diet Plan

The benefits of implementing a diet plan extend far beyond weight management, encompassing various aspects of physical, mental, and emotional well-being. A well-structured diet plan promotes optimal nutrition, supplying the body with essential nutrients needed for energy production, immune function, and cellular repair. By prioritizing nutrient-rich foods and balanced meals, individuals can enhance their overall health and reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, and certain cancers. Moreover, a diet plan fosters mindfulness around eating habits, encouraging individuals to tune into hunger and fullness cues, thereby preventing overeating and promoting a healthy relationship with food. Additionally, for those aiming to achieve specific fitness or performance goals, a tailored diet plan provides the necessary fuel to support muscle growth, recovery, and athletic performance. Overall, the benefits of a diet plan extend beyond physical appearance, encompassing improved health, enhanced energy levels, and increased quality of life.

Chapter 6: Weight Gain Diet Plan

While much attention is often focused on weight loss, a weight gain diet plan is equally important for individuals looking to build muscle mass, increase strength, or overcome undernutrition. A weight gain diet plan involves consuming a surplus of calories from nutrient-dense foods to promote muscle growth and support overall health. This typically entails increasing intake of protein-rich foods such as lean meats, dairy products, legumes, and nuts, which provide essential amino acids necessary for muscle repair and growth. Additionally, incorporating healthy fats and complex carbohydrates ensures sustained energy levels and supports metabolic functions. By combining a balanced diet with progressive resistance training, individuals can stimulate muscle hypertrophy and achieve their desired physique. Furthermore, a weight gain diet plan can be tailored to address specific dietary preferences, food allergies, or cultural considerations, ensuring a personalized approach to achieving weight-related goals. Whether aiming to lose weight or gain muscle, a well-designed diet plan serves as a fundamental tool for optimizing nutrition and achieving desired outcomes.

Portion control Mindful eating Balanced meals Calorie deficit Whole grains Lean proteins Meal prep Metabolic function

#The Definitive Guide to Effective Diet Plans for Optimal Health

[usascripthelpersofficial]

HOW DOES CINNAMON REDUCE BELLY FAT?

In recent years, cinnamon has been spotlighted as a natural ingredient that can aid in weight loss, particularly in reducing stubborn belly fat. This common spice, beloved around the globe for its warm, sweet flavour, has been used in traditional medicine for centuries. Beyond its culinary uses, cinnamon is packed with compounds that offer various health benefits, including the potential to assist in weight management. But how does this aromatic spice work its magic on belly fat? Let's dive into the science behind cinnamon's fat-busting properties.

The Science of Cinnamon

Cinnamon is derived from the inner bark of trees from the Cinnamomum genus. There are two main types of cinnamon: Ceylon cinnamon (true cinnamon) and Cassia cinnamon. Most of the research on cinnamon's health benefits doesn't distinguish between the two, but both types contain health-promoting compounds.

Metabolic Boost

One of the critical ways cinnamon impacts weight loss is through its effect on metabolism. Cinnamon contains cinnamaldehyde, a compound that has been shown to activate thermogenesis. During thermogenesis, the body generates heat and energy by burning calories, which can lead to weight loss. By enhancing this process, cinnamon could help in reducing belly fat.

Blood Sugar Regulation

Cinnamon is well-known for its ability to regulate blood sugar levels. It improves insulin sensitivity and slows the breakdown of carbohydrates in the digestive tract, which can help prevent spikes in blood sugar and insulin levels after meals. This is crucial because high insulin levels can lead to fat storage, particularly in the abdominal area. Cinnamon might indirectly help control belly fat accumulation by managing blood sugar and insulin levels.

Anti-inflammatory and Antioxidant Properties

Chronic inflammation and oxidative stress have been linked to obesity and difficulty losing weight. Cinnamon is rich in antioxidants and has anti-inflammatory properties, which can help mitigate these conditions. Cinnamon could support overall weight loss by reducing inflammation and oxidative stress, including reducing belly fat.

Appetite and Cravings Control

Some studies suggest that cinnamon can help control appetite and cravings, possibly due to its influence on blood sugar levels. Stable blood sugar levels can lead to fewer cravings and a reduced appetite, making it easier to stick to a healthy diet and caloric deficit, essential for losing belly fat.

How to Incorporate Cinnamon into Your Diet

Incorporating cinnamon into your diet is relatively simple and can be pretty delicious. Here are a few ideas:

Sprinkle cinnamon on your morning oatmeal or cereal.

Add it to your coffee, tea, or smoothies.

Use it in baking and cooking for added flavour without extra calories.

However, it's important to note that simply adding cinnamon to your diet without making other healthy lifestyle changes is unlikely to lead to significant weight loss. A balanced diet and regular physical activity are essential to any effective weight loss plan.

Precautions and Recommendations

While cinnamon is generally safe for most people in culinary amounts, consuming it in large quantities or supplement form can lead to adverse effects, such as liver damage, especially with Cassia cinnamon, which contains higher amounts of coumarin. Pregnant women and individuals with liver conditions should be cautious and consult with a healthcare provider before adding enormous amounts of cinnamon to their diet or taking cinnamon supplements.

Conclusion

Cinnamon could be a valuable addition to a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle for those looking to reduce belly fat. Its ability to boost metabolism, regulate blood sugar, combat inflammation, and potentially control cravings offers a multifaceted approach to weight management. However, it's essential to maintain realistic expectations and understand that cinnamon is not a magic solution but a complementary aid in the journey toward better health and weight loss.

#usascriphelpersofficial #lose weight fast #weight loss drinks #weight loss treatment #weight loss motivation #weight loss tips #weight loss diet #weight loss journey

[moatazboucetta]

how to lose 10 kg in a month

Losing 10 kg in 1 month is the number of people who are overweight and obese. However, this is not a small number and it is difficult to reduce in a short time if you do not know how. To lose 10 kg you need to combine many methods such as exercise, diet.... Here are 10 ways that can help you lose weight quickly and with less adverse health effects.

1.Count the number of calories that the body absorbs

Trong giảm cân cần việc đếm calo rất quan trọng

2. Drink enough and right water

Water is known to be an important component that makes up 70% of our body. So drinking water is a simple way to lose weight but bring long-term effects? Some experiments have shown that water has 0 calories but can make the body feel full, so when drinking enough water, the appetite will be somewhat reduced. Therefore, you can drink 1 glass of water before a meal to gradually reduce the portion size. And people who do this method have a better chance of losing weight faster than those who don't. Water plays an important role for the circulation and every movement of our body. When drinking water, metabolism takes place and calories are burned, in addition, water contains 0 calories, so the accumulated excess calories will be burned to ensure energy for the body's need for movement. In another study, after 30 to 40 minutes of drinking 500 ml of water, the body's metabolism and energy metabolism took place and the efficiency was about 30% higher than without drinking water regularly. Also 500 ml of drinking water before meals can reduce the body's calorie needs by up to 13% compared to the original. Therefore, doctors always recommend that we drink enough from 1.5 to 2 liters of water per day. In addition to weight loss, water also helps blood circulation, softens food to prevent constipation. SEE ALSO: 6 low calorie servings to lose weight fast

3. Adjust the protein content of each serving

Điều chỉnh hàm lượng protein cho mỗi khẩu phần ăn để đốt cháy mỡ bụng

4. Limit the amount of carbs in the body

Carbs or carbohydrates are the factors that cause weight and excess fat to constantly increase. Therefore, weight loss diets are always aimed at reducing the amount of carbs in the diet to the maximum to control weight. Moreover, carb can be the cause of increasing the glycemic index of foods, promoting absorption and digestion, making the body quickly crave and feel hungry. When the body consumes too much carbs, it will create an opportunity for fat to increase, leading to overweight and obesity accompanied by cardiovascular disease, blood fat and elevated liver enzymes...

5. Do exercises to burn fat

Bạn cần có chế độ ăn uống kết hợp tập luyện khoa học

6. Add more fiber in each meal

Fiber is often used as a laxative to support digestion, but it is also a substance that helps to keep the stomach full for longer without feeling hungry. A study in men with 33g of fiber showed that he no longer had an appetite and the amount of food per serving also gradually decreased. According to a review of nutrition reports, 14 grams of fiber per day will reduce the amount of calories your body needs by 10% compared to a low-fiber diet. If this diet is maintained longer, you can lose nearly 2 kg in 4 months not counting low-fat diets or doing calorie-burning exercises. Another study with a duration of nearly 2 years on women has shown that for every gram of fiber consumed, weight is reduced by 0.25 kg and fat is reduced by 0.25%. . Accordingly, a healthy diet with high-fiber foods is a worthy choice. You can get this nutrient from fruits, vegetables, whole grains....

7. Create a scientific sleep schedule

Để giảm cân bạn cần có lịch ngủ nghỉ hợp lý

8. Always stay consistent in your weight loss plan even when you're at the most difficult stage

Losing weight is a long, difficult and arduous journey that requires people to persevere and always stand firm. There are many people who start out very excited to set a weight loss goal, but when they do, they quickly give up, because they can't stand the pain of exercise, fatigue and cravings..... Therefore sense of responsibility and consciousness are always important factors that we need if we want to lose 10 kg quickly. In addition, you can log your weight progress to stay motivated or join weight loss diet communities. Doing something alone makes you boring, then find more teammates with the same thoughts and goals to remind each other about knowledge.

9. Do cardio to improve heart health and improve weight

Các bài tập cardio sẽ giúp bạn giảm cân nhanh và an toàn hơn

10. Enjoy the food slowly and feel it

Eating fast and eating large pieces will not only make you gain weight, but also make your stomach hurt. Eating slowly and eating small pieces has really been applied by the Japanese in their diets and the effect we are still seeing every day. Why does chewing well make you fuller for longer? Food after being crushed by teeth moves to the stomach, it will take a while to absorb all nutrients and then digest. However, if you chew quickly without thoroughly crushing the food, it will be difficult for the stomach to digest and take time as well as require more contractions. Therefore, chewing food thoroughly will support the stomach without much activity, so the amount of nutrients and energy is also higher, making you full for a long time. Moreover, chewing well helps you not to be distracted when eating and feel the full flavor of the dish. That sends a signal to the brain and won't trigger cravings anymore. Although losing 10 kg in 1 month is a big challenge and quite difficult, you can still do it. Besides, you should make sure that the living diet is always scientific so that when losing weight, your health will also improve better.

We also suggest you a good and a natural product supported by many clinical studies that have proven its effectiveness

#@weightloss #healthyfood #sport

[oziva]

Creating a Comprehensive PCOS Diet Plan for Optimal Health

Introduction to a PCOS diet plan

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a common hormonal disorder that affects many women of reproductive age. One of the most effective ways to manage PCOS and its symptoms is through a well-balanced PCOS diet plan. A PCOS diet plan can help regulate hormones, improve insulin sensitivity, and support overall health. In this article, we will delve into the essential components of a PCOS diet plan, highlighting the importance of balanced nutrition and lifestyle modifications.

Understanding PCOS

PCOS is characterized by a range of symptoms, including irregular periods, excessive hair growth (hirsutism), acne, and ovarian cysts. It is also often associated with insulin resistance and an increased risk of type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and infertility. While PCOS is a complex condition with no cure, its symptoms can be managed effectively through dietary and lifestyle changes.

Key Components of a PCOS Diet Plan

Balanced Macronutrients:

A PCOS diet plan should include a balanced distribution of macronutrients: carbohydrates, protein, and healthy fats. Aim for a well-rounded intake that includes whole grains, lean protein sources (such as tofu), and monounsaturated fats (found in olive oil, avocados, and nuts).

Complex Carbohydrates:

Choose complex carbohydrates for your PCOS diet plan like whole grains (brown rice, quinoa, oats) over simple sugars and refined grains. These complex carbs are digested more slowly, helping to stabilize blood sugar levels and reduce insulin resistance, a common issue in PCOS.

Fiber-Rich Foods:

Incorporate plenty of high-fiber foods into your PCOS diet plan, such as fruits, vegetables, legumes, and whole grains. Fiber helps regulate blood sugar and improve digestion, which can be especially beneficial for those with PCOS.

Adequate Protein:

Protein is crucial for muscle maintenance and hormone regulation. Include lean protein sources like beans in your meals to help maintain steady blood sugar levels, as part of your PCOS diet plan. 

Healthy Fats:

Opt for healthy fats like avocados, nuts, seeds, and olive oil in your PCOS diet plan. These fats can help reduce inflammation and support hormone balance in the body.

Watch Your Portions in the PCOS diet plan:

Be mindful of portion sizes to avoid overeating and promote weight management. A registered dietitian can help you determine appropriate portion sizes for your specific needs. A PCOS diet plan needs it! 

Take Low-Glycemic Index (GI) Foods in your PCOS diet plan:

Foods with a low GI are digested more slowly, leading to more stable blood sugar levels. Examples of low-GI foods include whole grains, legumes, non-starchy vegetables, and most fruits. These will form a part of your PCOS diet plan. 

Limit Sugary Foods and Beverages:

Reduce or eliminate sugary snacks, desserts, and sweetened beverages from your PCOS diet plan. High sugar intake can exacerbate insulin resistance and lead to weight gain.

Manage Carbohydrate Intake in your PCOS diet plan:

Some individuals with PCOS may benefit from a moderate reduction in carbohydrate intake. A low-carb or ketogenic diet can be effective for weight loss and blood sugar control but should be done under the guidance of a healthcare professional.

Adequate Hydration:

Staying well-hydrated is important for overall health and can help with weight management in your PCOS diet plan. Choose water as your primary beverage and limit sugary drinks and excessive caffeine.

Lifestyle Modifications

In addition to a PCOS diet plan, lifestyle modifications can significantly impact the management of PCOS symptoms:

Regular Exercise:

Engage in regular physical activity to improve insulin sensitivity, manage weight, and reduce stress. Aim for a mix of cardiovascular exercises and strength training along with your PCOS diet plan. 

Stress Reduction:

High-stress levels can exacerbate PCOS symptoms. Incorporate stress-reduction techniques like yoga, meditation, deep breathing exercises, or hobbies that bring you joy.

Adequate Sleep:

Prioritize quality sleep as it plays a crucial role in hormone regulation and overall well-being, specially with a PCOS diet plan. 

Weight Management:

If overweight or obese, achieving and maintaining a healthy weight can have a positive impact on PCOS symptoms. Even a modest weight loss of 5-10% of your body weight can lead to improvements.

Medication and Supplements:

Some individuals with PCOS may require medications like birth control pills, anti-androgens, or insulin-sensitizing medications. Consult with a healthcare provider to determine if these options are appropriate for you. Additionally, certain supplements, such as inositol and chromium, may support insulin sensitivity.

Conclusion

A well-structured PCOS diet plan, combined with lifestyle modifications, can be a powerful tool in managing the symptoms of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It's essential to work closely with a healthcare professional or registered dietitian who can tailor a PCOS diet plan to your specific needs and monitor your progress. By focusing on balanced nutrition, regular exercise, stress reduction, and maintaining a healthy weight, you can take significant steps toward improving your overall health and well-being while managing the challenges posed by PCOS. Remember that managing PCOS is a journey, and with dedication and the right support, you can achieve positive outcomes and lead a healthier life.

#PCOS diet plan