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wilteddreamsofbaldursgate · 4 months

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New dad Astarion who is about to see his newborn child for the first time.

Of course, he expects his child to be the personification of serene beauty and divine grace. Them to have their father’s silken silvern locks, his immaculately chiselled features—the artwork perfected by Tav’s wonderful watercolour eyes…

And then he actually sees the child and—well—everybody assures him that, yes, Astarion, all babies look like that barely a half hour after birth…

He kind of has to take that at face value because he hasn’t seen an awful lot of newborns in his lifetime.

But it would’ve been nice if��someone had told him that newborns happen to look like shrivelled potatoes, because he’s really, really trying to not let his bewilderment show.

Astarion swallows.

Tav’s beautiful eyes are watching him, waiting for a reaction—an enthusiastic one, no less.

Maybe Tav will believe that he’s overcome with emotions at seeing his firstborn child?

“Oh my, darling, I’m…speechless,” is all he can choke out, though, being rather proud that it’s at least not a lie.

To his luck, Tav only nods dreamily, her full attention back on the odd little bundle in her arms.

“Isn’t she perfect?”

Yes, perfectly hideous.

Astarion only hums in a way of reply.

That—his daughter, he supposes—is with no doubt one of the ugliest things he’s ever seen, but he has a feeling that his honesty wouldn’t be appreciated after Tav laboured for hours to give birth to this…potato-baby.

“Come, hold her, Astarion,” Tav says, then, bidding him to sit next to her on the bed.

The mattress shifts under Astarion’s weight and he obediently holds his arms out so that Tav can gently place the sleeping child against his chest.

Now that Astarion can take a better look, he can confirm that his daughter’s hair is of an indefinable colour and that her features are neither his nor Tav’s, plain as can be. Surely it won’t stay like that?

He and Tav are so ridiculously beautiful, their child can only be drop-dead gorgeous, right?

Astarion’s stomach drops indeed when, suddenly, something occurs to him.

Oh dear, what if it’s his fault? He has no recollection of his family whatsoever; it’s very much possible that he and his immaculate looks are the exception in his lineage, and that he’s passed on only those mysterious less-than-perfect genes…Tav, as per usual, can’t be the issue!

Astarion is still catastrophizing when the bundle in his arms begins to stir.

All of a sudden, gold-speckled pale green eyes are looking up at him as if to ask what the fuck this weirdo’s problem might be.

“Oh,” the weirdo in question exclaims at once. “Darling, look, she has your eyes!”

Tav, hugging him from behind, rests her chin on his shoulder, so she can watch as Astarion’s finger tenderly strokes their baby’s chubby cheek.

Their daughter also has, as it turns out, ten fingers and toes, a cute little nose and a hungry mouth—everything that’s supposed to be there is there, and it seems to be working fine, too—which is a huge relief.

And aren’t those the tiniest pointy ears Astarion has ever seen? Let alone the unexpectedly strong fingers grasping at his!

Astarion, worries forgotten in a heartbeat, can’t help but smile at the baby in his arms.

She is perfect, after all.

Tav, face hidden in the crook of his neck, begins to tremble against his back.

For a second, Astarion thinks she’s crying but then her laughter fills the chamber. It takes her a good moment to articulate whatever it is she finds so very funny.

“She'll grow out of it, you know?” Tav giggles in between her fits of laughter.

Astarion stiffens. “Of what?”

“The turnip look. That’s what you’ve been worrying about the whole time, haven't you?”

“I was leaning more towards potatoes—but yes, I might’ve been a little worried about that,” Astarion admits sheepishly, although a grin is already tugging at his lips.

Regaining her composure, Tav reaches over Astarion’s shoulder, her hand joining his as they get to know their child.

“Give it a couple of days and she will look like your proper little elf—beautiful just like her father.”

A content sigh leaves Astarion’s lips, right before he presses them against Tav’s temple.

“That’s the second best news I’ve heard today, my heart, truly.”

#astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #dadstarion #astarion x tav #astarion headcanons #astarion x f!tav #baldur's gate astarion #astarion ancunin #to the best worst dad #astarion father of the year every year #Inspired by Howl from Howl's Moving Castle or rather Castle in the Air #where his first words upon seeing his newborn son are “My word he's ugly!”—truly an inspirational man!#my grandma said for legal reasons i'm not allowed to call any babies ugly so these are astarion's words not mine #just so we're on the same page #emicha writes

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juvenillia · 6 months

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~ Death of Peace of Mind ~ 20: cold

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!reader

photo credits go to very talented @ave661

a/n: yes this chapter is highly inspired by this render by the amazing @ave661 and yes this chapter is this old, but hey we're finally getting somewhere. Enjoy while it lasts

CW/TW: fluff, longing, teasing, mentions of angst, trauma, nightmares

wordcount: 4.2k

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The mission was bone crushing. Not in the way that you wouldn't make it out alive, but by the temperatures you were surrounded, sitting in the tiniest places to observe a warehouse with only the little voices in your head was claiming its toll. Both mentally and physically. Between the little times you'd come back to the safehouse, writing, and encoding the gathered intel for Laswell you could finally calm down a bit. Throwing the layers of clothing that were soaked with the bitterness of freezing Bulgaria into the corners, making you a hot instant coffee that tasted like liquid death and hoping that you somehow could warm up your sore limbs. But you weren't able to. It was the second week in the mountains and the cold started to crawl into your muscles. Every day it got a bit harder to go out again. You just craved some real warmth. A comforting feeling provided by someone.

In this situation you wished you had never given that hoodie back to him in the first place. Those calm moments during the lonely shifts. Sitting in the corner in front of the little electronical heater, the only thing that prevented you from freezing to death. You made a mental note, to ask Kate for a hotel with a bathtub before heading back to the base. Just a way to get the cold out of your body. You would literally commit a war crime to have a good hot bath and a well-made tea right now. You pulled the silvern zippo out of your pocket and ignited it. The flame started to dance, and you stared into it. It invited your mind to shut down for just a little while. Your free hand moving carefully over it. This little flame provided you with much more comfort than the entire safehouse. A little smile crawled up to your already pale blueish lips.

The 141 gave you a place you wanted to return to. But Simon provided you with a longing for that spot on the couch in the common room. A longing for a shared fag. A craving to be close to him again. You closed your eyes for a few seconds. Letting yourself wonder if they were alright. If their missions were better than yours or if they even would be back at the base already. You wanted so bad to just pull your phone out and call them, him. Hear his voice again, but it wasn't possible. But the sheer thought of reunion kept you pushing forward. It made you become a bit needy and selfish but how couldn't you?

The way he let all your problems wash away, the way he provided you with something you had lost and somehow never called yours anyways. And if he would let you, even if it was just a moment to rest your head on his brawn shoulder while falling asleep surrounded by everyone again, you would take it and cherish it. You would gladly accept everything he would provide you with and if you needed to hear every bad dad joke on this earth, you would gladly listen. You wanted to know the man behind the mask, and you started to learn, that he was the person you wanted in your life. Both, Simon and Ghost. Maybe it was your savior complex, maybe it was pure affection or just simple attraction. But as soon as you looked into his eyes the world seemed a better place.

König was right, your own eyes did betray you but for once in your life you shouldn't care about how frightened you were. You knew long time ago how Simon made you feel, and it wasn't about the hormones in your body. It was your heart screaming to be heard. Still, you were able to ignore it for the longest time, but with every day out in the plain greyness, alone with your thoughts it pushed you further into a corner. The loneliness forced you to listen and what it told you wasn't shocking nor surprising. You had fallen for him. Since the evening when he told you his name. Since this day he became irreversible your missing piece, and with every day further the spot this piece occupied grew, and it rather will be your redemption or your doom. But you wouldn't care, you would take it anyhow it'd come your way. You had been a fool for lesser things, so why shouldn't you risk something for once in your life, that might make your life more worth of living.

The mission took a few more days longer. A few more days walking and climbing through the air vents to observe and infiltrate the sewage system. Satisfied with your job you sat in a helicopter that brought you home. Unfortunately, Kate had to deny your wish about the hotel, but you didn't care. You were able to leave this place and hopefully be reunited with your team again. Soap was the first to welcome you again, he was outside of the base literally sprinting towards you as he took sight of you. "Yer back! Woah, ye look like ye've seen a ghost," he chuckled at the well-intended pun, but his smile faltered as he saw your pale face. Your lips tugged upwards weakly smiling at him.

"Just cold and tired," you stated while giving him a quick hug. His hands lingered on your shoulders after you pulled away. Since the fake dating mission, he was way more touchy-feely with you, but you didn't mind.

"Laswell is in Price’s office. As soon as yer ready ye can debrief. Maybe a hot shower beforehand?" He squeezed your shoulder slightly and you nodded.

"I'd die for a good tea," you mumbled, eyes staring in the distant.

"Yer Brits eh. I can try to make ye some, bonnie." He smiled sincere. A smile you’ve seen so many times on his face when he wasn’t teasing. Your brows narrowed at his statement. That's when Johnny's features faltered just a bit, his eyes remind bright though. "Gaz and the Captain are already gone again, and Lt isn't even back yet." Your mouth formed a little 'oh'. "Unfortunately, yer gonna take ma company till then." He chuckled while helping with your bag and heading in with you together.

The hot water ran over your bare skin but unfortunately it merely had a painful effect than melting your frozen limbs. With some fresh clothes and still damp hair you went right to Price's office to report everything to Laswell and then went to your shared office again. You sat over your reports and sipped on the tea Johnny had prepared. It wasn't as awful as the instant coffee you drank the last weeks, but it definitely didn't deserve to be called tea. Still, you didn't want to hurt his feelings and drank it. With a little side note to maybe show him how to properly make tea. Nevertheless, the hot beverage - as stated before you couldn't call it tea - helped filling you with a slight warmth.

After some time when you felt a familiar sensation pricking at the corner of your eyes, you decided to take a little break. You looked over your desk and suddenly realized how empty it was. Your eyes trailed over to Kyle's and Johnny's. Decorated with some pictures of family, some medals, and even something that seemed like collectibles. You opened the first drawer of your table and found a little paper box. Opening it, it revealed some pictures you always had near you but never managed to actually put them on display. You needed to change that, so you ordered a few frames to be able to put them on your desk. It was nothing you needed to keep secret, nothing to hide from them anymore. When your eyes moved to your front view, you were met with a plain table, just like yours. But your eyes caught something way more interesting. A piece of grey fabric, lingering over the back of his chair. A piece you were way too familiar with. Did he forget to put it away? Impossible, he wore it the evening when you all had to head out. He had to get changed, he had to come here to drop it off. Your lips tugged upwards into a sweet smile. He had to leave it here on purpose. He wouldn't mind, would he? You pulled of the fitting sweater you wore and exchanged it shamelessly with his hoodie. It filled your nostrils with such a comforting scent and immediately some of the coldness left your body. You pulled the neckline over your nose to be able to inhale his smell even more. Letting go, pulling the hood over your head you moved back to work on the reports. You could already see the smug grin on Johnny's face and hear his teasing comments, but you didn't care. This simple piece of fabric finally could provide you with the craved comfort.

It took some more days for Price and Kyle to return, Simon was still vanished. Meanwhile Soap was sent out again, and you were assigned to help with mapping everything out and linking it together. Sometimes König dropped by, accompanying you when he had nothing else to do. He couldn't suppress the teasing comments just like Johnny. Why didn’t they get along? You couldn't understand, for real. You spent the time with König alone to also fulfill another little mission Price gave you some time ago, which still gave you kind of anxiety, but you did understand to well. Price wanted to make sure, and so did you.

As Soap came back, he had new coordinates and outlines with him. They sent out drones and worked with GPS to track whatever passed through the sewage system. You now had the task to link the routes and compare it to anything suspicious from your already gathered knowledge. It was quite a hard task, by now you had so many small fragments of information, tons of different locations and just a few faces, but you could do it.

"Bonnie..." A concerned but soft voice reached out to you, followed by a hand on your shoulder as you sat on the floor to have more space for the huge map you tried to mark everything on. You looked up at him. "Head to bed. Tomorrow is another day." It was the third day you spent nonstop in the office trying to complete the map outlines.

"Just one more..." A weak smile on your lips and he nodded with a defeated sigh.

"Aye. Can’t convince yer anyways. " He patted your shoulder before leaving for his room. One hour became another, and another. You weren't even aware that you fell asleep here. Your back leaned against Kyle's desk, knees tugged to your chest and head resting on it. It wasn't comfortable, it wasn't cozy, but your body forced you to rest.

Meanwhile, it was Simon who finally sat a foot back on base. He was exhausted from the events of the past weeks. Solo ops were always different, difficult for his mind. Sure, he had a mission to accomplish but, in the end, there were no one distracting him from his own thoughts. Especially during the times, he was alone in the safehouse. He was used to being alone with himself. Mind wandering around everything what needed to be done. What have been done but now, it was different now. His brain was altered by you, and in those little moments, his thoughts circled around anything but the mission. It got even harder when his nights became shorter, and the nerve-wrecking nightmares became stronger. He often unfolded the little paper he found in his vest, and always found himself with a little smile when he put it back again.

A deep exhale of pure relief left his throat as some familiar faces greeted him. It was quite early and the routines of the other soldiers around the base already bringing back a feeling of good old habits. His feet dragged him to Price’s office first, announcing his return and debriefing just really quick. Not even bothering to go back to his room he found himself in the common room. A place that somehow became much cozier than he remembered. His eyes found Johnny in the little kitchen corner, fumbling with the can of your favorite tea. “What the ‘ell are ya tryin’ Sarge?” He threw his duffel bag onto the couch together with his vest, and got closer to the Scot, who nearly threw the can and the spoon in the air.

“Dia-diag!” [god damn] He breathed out before a small smile tugged at his lips. Simon arched his brow at him while he looked at the scenery. “Yer back, Lt. Good to see yer.” He smiled while pushing the can and the spoon into his chest before moving aside. “I wanted to make her some tea, but now yer back, sooo yer assigned with that job again. Aye?” His smile teasing as always, arms crossed in front of his chest.

Simon didn’t even question it further and only shook his head in amusement before preparing the tea like he knew you loved it. “‘s she good?” he said absently while stirring in the cup.

“Lass will be much better now,” Johnny said while taking the cup of coffee he prepared for himself, a smug grin on his face while his feet started to carry him to the shared office. Knowing that you’d be already back there working. Simon trailed after him, the cup filled with an actual well-made tea in his hand, and a smile of anticipation on his lips beneath the mask.

The sight in front of both men just let Johnny deeply exhale. “Told her to go to bed….” He wanted to wake you up, but Simon stopped him. Pushing the cup in the other one’s hand while his feet dragged him towards you. His heart ached at the view. Your figure all curled up, in his hoodie on the floor. He carefully crouched down in front of you. His gloved hand finding your shoulder and squeezing it just so slightly. It earned him a sweet puff out of your mouth before your hand started to rub your eyes.

“Johnny… if I hear only one…” You slowly looked up and had to blink a few times, when you realized it wasn’t the Scot waking you up. Simon responded with a nearly inaudible chuckle. The familiar skull face in front of you made you rub your eyes once more before your body reacted completely on its own.

From your earlier position nearly leaping on your knees and your arms just flew around his statue, while you buried your face into the crook of his neck. Just as you realized what you so randomly did, you wanted to pull away. Your brain still so sleepy, but you needed to apologize for the misbehavior. Just then, he wrapped his brawn arms around your lower body and pulled you even closer. His huge hands squeezed around your waist as he held you close, and you sunk even more into him. One of his hands wandered from your waist to your nape, keeping you firm against him. Nothing could stop your heart from pounding against your chest, but the cold finally seemed to get out of your system. “You’re back,” you cooed so silently, while you inhaled his delicious scent, mixed with dry dust, and sweat. He hummed in approval, while he couldn’t resist to do just the same, inhale yourself. A scent he witnessed the first time so close when you returned his hoodie, and he already got addicted to it. Both of you could’ve stayed in this position for who-knows how long. It felt too good. Never did he feel so soothed, his eyes closing, hoping that the moment would last.

“Good morni – Oi, Lt. You’re back!” Kyle’s voice broke the sincere silence in the room and Johnny wanted to pour the hot beverages just over the Brit. Soap stayed extra silent during this moment, biting back his shit eating grin and teasing comments to grant both of you this moment, a moment of progress he wanted to witness for so long. He only glared at Kyle who simply shrugged. Because just then the two of you parted and Simon looked at Kyle, nodded in response before standing up again. Somehow to your fortune because otherwise he’d seen how red your face turned from a simple and friendly hug. Simon extended a hand to help you up and you gladly took it. Still wearing a sweet smile on your lips. His eyes are pinned on yours, but you couldn’t make out, what they wanted to tell you. You couldn’t read the expression that lingered between those dark orbs.

It’s another familiar voice that dragged your attention back, as your Captain walked into the office. “Good to see everyone together again.” He clapped in his hands. “Shall we start then?”

All of you talked about the last ops, and proceeding what would be the best after your now gathered knowledge. You found out which warehouse was the crux of the matter. Price made sure to speak with Laswell and König before taking further steps, but he already mentioned of heading out soon again. He dismissed everyone to go after their choirs for today.

Just before Simon wanted to leave, you stopped him by holding onto his wrist. A sweet but tired smile on your lips. He only looked at you, his eyes still saying the same as before and still you couldn’t get a grip of what they wanted to tell you. “’s something wrong?” He turned his body back to you while not pulling away. You shook your head no and lifted his hand by his wrist. He let you. You then fished in your pocket for the silvern lighter before placing it in his hand again. His palm closed.

“As promised,” you stated before letting go of his wrist and you could see how the corner of his eyes started to crinkle. Your smile only grew abit, before you left the office to go after your day without any more troubles. He looked after you. He wanted to say something about the note, something about the days separated. Anything, but again, he just stood there and watched as you walked away. A sigh left Johnny’s throat as he walked past him. Simon did somehow mirror this sigh, before leaving himself.

It was late when you found yourself in the common room again. Beth had some new company over, and they weren’t really decent about their hustles. It haunted you more than the roaring canons. So, you decided to stay on the couch for the night. You slept in worse places, the couch was still better than a lot of those. You only had the small light next to the couch on, while you were still in his clothing, your blanket draped over your body. As you mindlessly typed a message into your phone. König sent you a picture of him and his teammate some time ago, asking how you’ve been, and you still hadn’t responded. So now was a good time for it. Now was two in the morning. You sighed as you realized, your sleep schedule was more messed up than ever. Your head fell back onto the couch when you heard steps. They became louder and in the dim light you couldn’t really see, who was approaching the room. But soon you could see the familiar statue with the soft skull balaclava standing next to the couch. Somehow absently, nearly disoriented. Something so uncommon for him.

“Simon?” Your voice was soft, not wanting to scare him but he instantly turned on his heels. His exhausted eyes pinned on your figure. He looked as confused as you. “Everything alright?” you asked softly sitting up from the couch and facing him properly. He now stood in front of the couch and shrugged. His shoulders lower than you were used to.

“’st wanted to get some tea...” A sigh left his throat. He seemed so tense. He definitive didn’t just come here for some tea. “What are ya doin’ here?” He pinched the bridge of his nose before looking down at you.

“Neighbor is a bit too noisy. So, I thought of sleeping here instead.” You chuckled a bit exhausted. You could literally sleep on a helo, but not while two people would have passionate sex in the room next to you. He nodded, the exhaustion clinging to his shoulders. It made you worry. He always comforted you; you could always reach out to him. But he still was somehow so distant. Nothing you’d push, but still you’d wish he would let you in. Sometimes a little push into the cold water could do wonders…maybe…

"Do you truly trust me?" You suddenly threw the blanket to the side and stood up from the couch, slowly approaching him as your hand reached out to gently wrap around his wrist once more, examining his tired eyes. Looking for any hints of discomfort. His senses were overwhelmed as you touched him again, by the closeness of your body, the warmth of your hand, your gentle touch. He didn’t know what you were up to, still he did trust you, so he only nodded. With that you moved a bit closer. Only a tiny gap separating your bodies when your hand found his. Fingers wrapping around his. He wanted this for himself, but he couldn't accept it, yet he didn't deny it, didn't try to escape your embrace. His brain reminded him how good it felt to have you close to him. Just like this morning. The selfish aching too huge to feel it again. Your eyes never leaving his as you moved backwards, back to the couch step by step and pulling him with you. He followed your figure. Glance pinned onto those deep brown orbs, still searching if his eyes screamed for escape out of this, but they didn't. Those dark eyes starred into yours with nothing than trust and a hint of curiosity or was it hope?

You slowly lowered yourself back onto the long part of the couch, dragging him down with you. You didn't even realize what you were doing. You were on autopilot, following what your heart desired. Was it inappropriate? Was it too much? You didn't care, you just wanted to provide him with the feeling of comfort and safety he did for you all the time.

Your body completely lowering itself on the couch and pulling him on top of you. He was hesitant, but still he followed your lead. Laying his head just below your chest on your stomach. His brawn body between your legs as you pulled your blanket over both of you with your free hand. He was stiff, didn't dared to move and his heart pounded in his chest, still he clung to your hand, not wanting to let go. You could feel his chest vibrating against your body, the beating of his heart strong and nearly painfully fast. Yours was steady, you couldn't even believe yourself how calm you were. Maybe it was because you finally accepted your fate, your emotions. Maybe it was because you knew he needed you now. Or at least you wished that he would.

"Just relax." Your voice soothing calm. Letting your hand trace lazy circles on his back, while breathing in those different layers of scents radiating from him. He lowered himself, letting his complete weight down on you, relaxing his tense muscles and sunk completely into you. Simon pulled you even closer, allowing himself to be vulnerable in this way for once in his life, his free hand searched your waist while the other still held on to the one that dragged him straight into heaven. His nightmares haunted him, his trauma kept him awake at night, but you chased the demons away. For once he allowed himself to enjoy this, to rest, laying in your embrace. To let the cold the wall of ice around his soul had created melt away. He closed his eyes, listening to your steady heartbeat. A melody so soothing. Breathing in your scent, feeling the soft fabric of his own hoodie on your body. God, he wished you would wear it more often. He loved the view of you in his clothes. He loved the way your scent clung to it afterwards. He loved the way your touch felt even through his clothes. After the warmth of the hug this morning, after you pulled him close now, he was scared that he would grow addicted to it. He didn't want to admit it, but he loved the way you made him feel. The way you made Simon feel. The sound of your breathing, of your heart slowly lulled him into a deep and peaceful slumber and just like that, you drifted away yourself. The cold finally left the last fibers of your body with him being the coziest weighted blanket you'd ever had.

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