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cfs-crohns-colitis-warrior · 1 year

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For the first time ever in my life, at the age of 27, I actually have my first boyfriend and only had my first kiss yesterday. It was clumsy and we were like that was terrible but let’s keep doing it! Turns out he’s never had a girlfriend before either and we’re both just super inexperienced so it just kinda makes me feel better about it all cause yeah it’s awkward and weird and I dunno what I’m doing but it’s not just me going through that, and the person going through the same stuff isn’t just my mates who I can talk to about it, but my boyfriend so we can talk to each other about it and learn these new experiences together.

Can’t believe it’s taken me this long to get a boyfriend but at the same time I’m quite glad for it because I think I’d have been way too shy and awkward in the past to deal with it. I still am shy and awkward, but nowhere near as bad as I was. Plus, I’m past the point of caring what others think so the relationship is minimal effort right now, whereby he just comes over and we chat and watch tv and shit, and it’s what we’re both after cause that to us counts as a date and we might go out occasionally and do something but we don’t feel the need to always be out, because it’s easy and comfortable to be around each other and the convo just flows.

If I could go back in time and tell my younger self that it’s good they don’t have a boyfriend yet cause even if they think they’re ready, they’re not, there’s no way they’d have believed me haha. I’m also really glad we’re on the same page and that he understands that I’m ill and can’t do much, and he appreciates the time I spend with him, and vice versa. It’s just nice to be with someone who understands as much as they can what I’m going through without going through it themselves.

Now I just need to find out somehow if we’re doing Xmas cards cause we don’t do them in my fam for like, bro, his gf, mum and dad. Also need to find out what he wants to do about presents cause we’re not quite at the stage yet where we could confidently go out and buy something for each other and know they’ll love it. This will no doubt be a convo for another day lol. This relationship is literally less than a week old. I’ve no idea where it’s going but I’m not gonna think about it much, just gonna enjoy the now of it instead of always trying to think ahead. I do that with everything else on life, so I feel like I’m just going to relax with this, at least during these first few months assuming it keeps going that long, which it seems like it might haha.

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thatbadadvice · 7 months

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Dear Advisor,

I tend to be a very reserved and shy person so making friends is super hard. Recently I’ve been wanting to socialize more , but I genuinely don’t know how. Is there any advice that you have that can make me look more approachable and not be scared to talk to people. I’m so stressed about being alone and not having any friends, but I just find it so hard to go up to people and make a conversation. I tried once but it became super awkward. I just really need good advice from someone on how to approach a person and continue a conversation.

Dear Awkward Anonymous,

It would be so easy to get into a whole deep let's-skeetshoot-therapy-on-the-internet session and try to help a total stranger unpack all of the GA-FUCKING-ZILLION ways in which social awkwardness shows up in a person's life. It seems easy, and it even seems meaningful and worthwhile, but to do so I would have to presume a bunch about your life, and make a bunch of assumptions about the ways in which my own experiences maybe/probably track with yours, and it would be a whole big wank-fest, and frankly ... it would be awkward. I'd be like you, standing there at the party, hoping that what I'm saying resonates or lands or even vaguely tracks with anything a stranger has ever known or experienced, presuming (probably rightly!) that it doesn't, and then flailing and blaming myself when I didn't emerge from the interaction with all the world's gold stars.

So here's what: stop talking to other people as a primary social occupation. Going up to people and just talking is fucking terrifying. The Bad Advisor says this as a Certified Extrovert™ who rarely shuts the fuck up.

Instead, find a thing to do with other people that involves some sort of task or goal or activity. Talk about the thing you're doing together, when you're doing it. If it feels okay, maybe introduce one or two of your own relatable-to-the-activity experiences in the process. See who picks up on it. Ask the people who pick up on it genuinely interested questions in response. This is what we awkward people call: engineering a conversation. It is the way, I am told, humans make connections with other humans. I have seen it work in my own life.

Depending on where you live and your ability level and skill set, I bet you have some options! You could seek out an open board game night, pub quiz session, knitting/quilting circle, or mutual aid meetup that's looking for volunteers. Especially look for social activities with strangers that involve a dedicated, pre-prescribed activity (such as a hiking or mall-walking group, stuffing envelopes for a political candidate or cause you care about, planting trees at your local park, or tasting tea/wine/beer/etc.). (Somebody is going to say join a ballroom dancing club or suchlike; I am personally terrified of this, but if you have a higher tolerance for strangers touching you and fewer than two left feet: it's literally an option. Line-dancing, on the other hand ... absofuckinglutely.)

Even if what's available in your area isn't your precise and specific interest, it might be worthwhile to check out something you are decidedly meh about -- you might not be the only meh person there. You can bond over shit that's boring or shitty with other people who find it boring or shitty! Some of my best friends, arguably my very best friends, came out of experiences we mutually loathed or found at least moderately and mutually miserable.

Consider especially finding an activity where you yourself are the manager of operations and/or have a designated task to take care of that is unique to your position! This doesn't have to be complicated or skill-dependent; can you become a voter registrar in your area? Well, bam! You've got paperwork people have to fill out and a good reason to jibber-jabber with folks who have to ask you the questions. Other ideas: join your local neighborhood association board, become a notary public, or see if your local pet rescue is looking for intake line volunteers. Do you have a trustworthy, especially outgoing friend who might agree to play "social glue" for you a couple of times at their activity-centric events? Make it explicit! Ask them if they'll play friendly wing-person for you at their D&D game, fantasy sports league, or some such.

Alternately: Do you have a unique and fun and shareable skillset you can share with others? Are you pretty good at drawing, programming? Simply a font of endless Merlin or NFL or Real Housewives knowledge? You might start a local Discord or other online social group to discuss and share your interests, then move it to the real world in a few weeks once folks get comfortable. You get the idea.

Most of all: Look for stuff that has more-than-just-talking opportunities available outside the designated group jam for you to maintain connections. Perhaps a group chat, a Discord, a Slack, what-have-you, where you can take more time to consider and draft your responses and posts? Connections with humans get made a thousand ways, and talking raw-dog with strangers is but one.

It takes a true social unicorn to be simply good at talking and only talking to other people. There are some of these one-horned wonders out there, to be sure — but let me assure you that the vast majority of folks want to be accepted and seen just as much as you do, and they're staring at the ceiling at night thinking just as much (more, probably) about all the weird, wonky shit they themselves threw at you than they are anything you ever said to them.

#good advice #good advice interlude #socializing #awkward #introvert problems #shy #shyness #get out there we're all fucking squares

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kingofattolia · 7 months

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Honestly I cannot overstate how much seeing Hayden as TCW Anakin changed EVERYTHING. Matt Lanter's Anakin is a frat dude. He wears a backwards baseball hat and says vaguely offensive things without realizing, while being a fundamentally chill and outgoing guy at heart. Hayden's Anakin is... not that. His voice. His expressions. His physical presence. It's off somehow. It's just left of normal. It's completely unremarkable and yet deeply uncanny for reasons you can't quite describe. TCW Anakin was always a flatter, blander portrayal, but I don't think I realized until now what exactly was missing: the serial killer energy. The inarticulable conviction that SOMETHING unhinged is going on behind those eyes.

#also the difference between TCW anakin's charm and ROTS anakin's charm #tcw: outgoing. does finger guns. nonplussed socially sometimes but still confident. able to be charming #rots: competent. exuberant. frothing with rage. so shy and awkward he fully cant function. insecure. an entire tank yet fragile as glass #charming only because hes both SO COMPETENT and also so categorically unable to purposefully be charming #ITS SO DIFFERENT. WILDLY DIFFERENT. I DID NOT REALIZE HOW DIFFERENT IT WOULD BE #im so glad i got to see this honestly #im going to be reimagining tcw episodes with this version of anakin in them as my bedtime story from now on #i hate to be a broken record but KAREN MILLER CAPTURES THIS #star wars #grace for ts #anakin #ahsoka show #truly truly truly truly truly transformative for me as a person to have seen this #tcw anakin comes into the room loudly quipping and complaining #rots anakin stands there quietly until he smiles and you realize his teeth are covered in blood

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ivorysodapop · 4 months

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Ribbons :)

AU Masterlist

#while he was still at Lanling!#my MXY is bumbling and shy but also with a hint of classic Jin bitchiness when he care #now WWX has two awkward ducklings. Wen Ning is the other. Where is he in this au?? uhhhhh #digital #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mo xuanyu #wei wuxian #ghostdadxian au

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harrowedsoup · 11 months

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Gideon’s greatest appeal is that she’s so hot, right? She’s a tall, buff woman with a easy smile who’s the best at what she does and she also loves getting bossed around. She literally wants a woman that will tell her what to do and be appreciative of that.

Despite that she has NO GAME. Zero. Zip. None. She couldn’t seduce a woman if she actually tried too. If a real woman walked up to her and flirted she would blue screen, get freaked out and walk away. The fact that Harrow is obsessed with her is hilarious if only because Harrow has so much game despite everyone saying she’s a wet rat.

#the locked tomb #gideon nav #harrow nonagesimus #griddlehark #Gideon would never be popular #she’s too weird damn you #she’s not just shy #she’s also just so fucking awkward #She thinks she’s confident but that’s because she’s only been around like three people

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aprilblossomgirl · 27 days

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Why don’t you spend time practicing fortune reading?

23.5 องศาที่โลกเอียง (2024) Ep.04

#(why are you staring? i can’t focus) *dead*#23.5 #23.5 degrees #23.5 the series #23point5 #23point5edit #*gifs #april.gif #aylinluna #view benyapa #june wanwimol #there's this exact word to describe aylin situation here but i couldn't find its english equivalent #it was somewhere between awkward and shy. not exactly either just one.

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classycookiexo · 3 months

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#introvert #shy #awkward #honestly

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just-null-cult · 8 months

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he wants kiss, but he doesnt out right ask for one. (he got one.)

#kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #first post and jjk is trending #and i really like Kamo Noritoshi Jr #i also really like the thought of Kamo bring unbelievably awkward despite being highly skilled #therefore he causes accidental problems with easy solutions #its one of his many charms #also he seems like the type to be kinda shy but bc of his stoic face it looks like hes tryna threaten you #i love him sm #he should appear more #this is a repost bc i fucked up w tumblr shit arghghghh

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evilvvithin · 1 year

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KÖNIG ➛ MODERN WARFARE II

#would you guess he's shy n socially awkward?#könig #cod könig #call of duty #modern warfare ii #warzone #gamingedit #cod mw2 #gameedit #codedit #modern warfare 2 #jim boeven #*königgifs #mari.gif

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giddlygoat · 4 months

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the old man yoai grind never stops 🫡

#i can’t stop laughing THIS SHIP IS SO FUNNY BUT IM SO SERIOUS ABT IT #cringe is dead. do what makes you happy forever 🫶🌟#wallace & gromit #chicken run #willard tweedy #apple pie with cheese #no id #giddly’s art #i can now officially say i’ve drawn wallace kissing willard. i should put that on my resume #w&g #ngl i think wallace would typically be a lot more shy and awkward but i was possessed by some higher power to draw this. we ball #aardman

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kitty-inchains · 1 month

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i’m suffering from a severe lack of pretty marks… but how cute are my new panties?! 🖤

#we love an awkward bathroom selfie… right?? 🥹#kitty-inchains #my photos #kitty-inchains photos #might delete later 🙃#feeling super shy 😅

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raiiny-bay · 5 months

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everyone say hi to cricket

Interviewer: Can you state your name and age please? Cricket: Cricket... 19. Interviewer: [whispering] Look into the camera. Interviewer: And what's been happening to you, Cricket? Cricket: ...I'm... mutating. Interviewer: Can you show us what you mean? Cricket: ... Cricket: ... Okay. [Cricket holds his hand towards the camera]