#she wouldn't even talk about that subject at all. and then it correlates to the whole. nero and sporus thing right. and the dressing up/ring | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

abybweisse · 1 year

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This (x), and what you mention of UT’s ashes, has me realising I should ask a professional on my thoughts (and what would be most correct to canon) about the reapers.

Do you think the “rebirth” is immediate or does the body have to decompose first? That would imply their bodies are cloned/reinvented, right? Or are they resurrected from their mortal bodies, made immortal, which could perhaps have inspired UT with the bizarre dolls, if he’d discovered the event?

If it’s immediate, I can imagine them (a reaper, or countless reapers, perhaps each unaffiliated to one another) easily digging up their own bodies and perhaps then breaking down—if they’re then deemed unfit to be working reapers, temporary or otherwise, then surely there’s a ward for this specific thing? If anything happens to the body, does something then happen to them, as their soul/spirit (I assume that’s what reapers are, in essence)?

(Not necessarily correlating with this, but can’t Death Scythes also kill/fatally harm/etc. other reapers? Surely that’s not a a great system, unless they’re successfully rehabilitated first.)

Anyway—sorry if you’ve already answered this or something like it. Hope you’re having a lovely day/night <3

⚠️ LONG POST ⚠️

Some details about reaper rebirth theory

Professional? 😂 Nahhhh.... But I have been talking about Undertaker's potential death by fire since at least 2017. 😯 And reaper rebirth theory is a subject I like nearly as much as Mother3 theory.

Anyway, let's break this down into its parts.

1. Would the rebirth be immediate, or would they have to decompose?

There are different ways Yana-san could approach this, if she has decided that reapers go through karmic reincarnation. Grelle says something odd in ch10, suggesting that the "memories" are also removed...

...but I think Grelle just means after where "END" ends up going when a reaper makes the cut.

The way I see it, Undertaker gives us a better clue in ch60.

There might be some exceptions to this, particularly if Othello and others in the forensics lab get occasional bodies and/or brains to "dig around in".

But, for the most part, bodies and their brains (containing the cinematic records of things that already happened plus things the human had hoped for) stay in the human realm. I should think this also typically applies to suicides. Undertaker might even be able to make bizarre dolls from suicides, and that might technically be the case with Layla/Al. There's a really strong case for Layla/Al being the daughter of Baron Chris Heathfield... and for her causing the "accident" that took her and her mother's lives. He only needs access to the body and the cinematic records. Grelle cannot mean that reapers take all the memories; Undertaker wouldn't be able to manipulate cinematic records that are completely gone.

Here's the biggest kicker: William and others have made it clear that reapers don't judge the souls of the dying, they just decide whether to end the life and collect the soul. Grelle uses the word "judge", but it's only to decide who dies when, not whether the soul will go to Heaven, Hell, Limbo, Purgatory, the reaper realm, etc.

And even then it's only a formality, according to William. The soul is sent "up" or "over" for judgment by some higher power, like an angel. Could even be the same beings the reapers call their "higher-ups" or "superiors". This means reapers wouldn't really have the authority (or even the ability) to just see a suicide and turn that body (with its cinematic records and soul) into a fellow reaper. It's a bureaucracy, after all!

What the reaper would likely do -- and I've explained this in older posts about #reaper rebirth theory and #karmic reincarnation -- is collect and send the soul for judgment, actually make notes or comments on their death entry (something we have yet to witness them do) about cause of death being something self-inflicted, and then mark it "complete" (as usual)... because that's the extent of their jurisdiction, so to speak.

The body and the brains (with the cinematic records) would probably be left there to be dealt with by humans (or to just rot where it is). However, it's possible that this sort of situation gets one major exception: the reaper might have to collect and send the cinematic records, too, if new reaper bodies need a sort of "seed" record to build off of. Like... if a reaper needs memories of their previous life (or of their death) in order for them to maintain a sense of deserving punishment for how they died. That sort of thing.

And it seems important (to me) that all reapers be made by the same process. Not all suicide methods leave the same sort of useable corpse, right? They could blow themselves to smithereens, burn to nearly ashes, splat themselves to mush, shoot their brains out, or any number of other gruesome methods that effectively destroy the brain to the point their bodies could not be used to house their reaper selves.

An "easy solution" to this would be to make all suicides go through karmic reincarnation. If people are born with souls placed into them to begin with... and some people claim to have had multiple lives as humans... then why not just place the judged souls of suicides into the bodies of babies that are about to be born? Of course, these wouldn't be human babies but reaper ones. Those phosphorescent but nearsighted eyes. The inter-dimensional traveling abilities. The unnatural speed and agility. Who knows what other abilities they have... that Yana-san hasn't yet shown us. To me, these are not merely human bodies that have been altered after death.

So, to answer the first question in a TL/DR sort of way: it's not immediate, nor do the bodies have to decompose first. Who cares what happens to the original bodies, if the souls get placed into completely new ones? But! This means the souls have to be judged (by someone higher up than reapers), and that unborn baby reaper bodies need to be available (developing) to receive these souls. This is not immediate. Potentially, some judged suicide souls could be waiting in storage of some kind for a proper vessel to become available!

2. Are their bodies cloned/reinvented?

I have no idea if the new reaper babies are otherwise like the old bodies these suicides once had. They might grow up to look the same or not.

I suspect that Yana-san would want for these reapers to be stuck with bodies (including their ASAB) that at least remind them of the bodies they once had as humans. Because it forces them to not only live out a long punishment doing the work they do... but to do this in bodies that might have had something to do with their original decision to end their lives (like extremely negative body image).

3. Are they resurrected from their mortal bodies, made immortal?

It's something Yana-san could end up saying is true of her grim reapers, but for the big reason given above (destruction of some bodies, depending on suicide method used), I think it makes the most sense to automatically leave the old bodies behind and just reuse the old souls (plus perhaps at least bits and pieces of the old cinematic records). That gives each reaper as close to a "clean slate" as possible.

4. Would this have been what inspired Undertaker to make his Bizarre Dolls?

Reapers being made from their old bodies and made immortal? I don't think so. Mostly because 1. Reapers have souls while Bizarre Dolls don't (yet!) and 2. My theory states that reapers have new bodies, while we know Bizarre Dolls are made from dead bodies.

The biggest comparison between reapers and Bizarre Dolls (as they are now), in my reaper rebirth theory, is that cinematic records are definitely manipulated in Bizarre Dolls and are probably manipulated in reapers. Not just from their beginnings as reapers... but also possibly once they begin active reaper duty (if they misbehave enough to be severely punished). And that could have greatly influenced Undertaker's experimentation. I can sort of simplify the differences this way:

Low-end Bizarre Dolls = old body + old cinematic records + new cinematic records that are nonsense (like Undertaker dancing). These are how they were while on the Campania, including real Ciel at the time.

Mid-range Bizarre Dolls = old body + maybe some new organs + old cinematic records + a few sections of old cinematic records removed from before "END" and reattached after "END". This would include Arden, his pals, Agares, and real Ciel at the time of the events at Weston. Arden and his buddies just didn't have high quality "future memories" to use as "episodes". Real Ciel was "shock full" of them, but Undertaker was still working on manipulating them (moving them from before to after "END").

Advanced Bizarre Dolls = old bodies + probably some new organs + old cinematic records + lots of "future memories" moved around to become "episodes" + a blood supply that must be replenished on a regular basis. This is real Ciel and the other three "lords of the stars" right now. But Othello says they are imperfect... and that Undertaker is probably trying to fix whatever's wrong.

Ultimate Bizarre Dolls = old bodies + probably some new organs + old cinematic records + all those chunks of cinematic records rearranged into "episodes" + a blood supply that can now be cleaned and replaced as needed internally + whatever was missing before + new cinematic records they are now creating on their own. I don't think it's quite as simple as needing a new kidney, because it seems that Undertaker would have figured that out and found kidney matches already from fresh corpses. You don't get your pawns talking about the "shapes of souls" unless you are looking for soul matches. So, I think a soul is the thing that's missing; the thing Undertaker now wants to add. This should allow them to truly be "alive" and make their own cinematic records again. Heathfield and Jane talked about getting one for Heathfield's dead wife. I think that was mostly to keep Heathfield busy while Undertaker searched for souls to transplant into the four "lords".

Much like how Undertaker got a laugh out of Stoker believing what Undertaker was doing is "science", I expect him to eventually crack up in front of our earl... while explaining how stupid Heathfield is for believing you can judge the shape of one's soul by how they behave in bed! On the other hand, I really do think F. O. L. Orphanage is actively shaping young souls to fit into the "lords": Pomeranian class for real Ciel, Corgi class for Doll, Collie class for Layla/Al, and Mastiff class for whoever Polaris turns out to be (I theorize he's a Phantomhive butler who died in the attack nearly four years prior). It's probably crucial that you start with a young soul; not only is their body young, but this is that soul's first body to inhabit. Their souls are most-malleable! It's possible Undertaker got this idea from realizing Sebastian uses a similar technique to "season" our earl's soul to prepare him as a "meal". Sebastian cultivates our earl's soul with everything the kid experiences. And here's a nice little agricultural term for it: Undertaker might have gleaned this information from examining what he saw of Sebastian's cinematic records on the Campania.

*coughs* Anyway.

Reapers = new body + old soul + parts of their old cinematic records + the new cinematic records they make in their new bodies + who knows how much manipulation to their cinematic records to keep them in line or redirect their behaviors.

Basically, Undertaker's ultimate goal might be to create something that's a LOT like a reaper, but starting with a corpse instead of a new body... and then adding a soul from someone else with similar (but forced) life experiences. The other reapers already think what he's doing with cinematic records is crazy. Adding a blood supply sure has Othello's attention, and he has once been considered the crazy one around HQ.... When the reaper organization finds out where Undertaker plans to go with it? Adding used souls? Absolute abomination! Some of them perhaps not realizing just how similar they really are....

What makes Bizarre Dolls such an abomination to the reaper organization? 1. They are made with corpses instead of new bodies/babies, 2. It's being done by a rogue reaper instead of something considered "superior" to reapers (like angels), and 3. If they get souls taken from others, this really messes up soul collection and judgement procedures. If reapers were made from the corpses of suicides, they might not see the problem with #1 but only with #2 and #3. However, Grelle and Ronald make it very clear that corpses should not be moving around. Therefore, I highly doubt that reapers are "moving corpses", even with their own souls in place.

5. Is there a ward for reapers who try to destroy their old remains?

Nah. In my theory, by the time they are old enough to be "recruited" for active reaper duties to begin, their human remains would typically be quite decomposed. Even if they originally left behind an exquisite corpse -- but not in the usual sense of the phrase -- I actually mean a corpse in very good shape. 😆

6. If something happens to the old body, does something happen to the reaper, since they are the soul?

I've come to take what Undertaker says as the honest truth, in this case. The old body and brain stay in the human realm to rot.

But the reaper that will be isn't simply rotting away. The new body and old soul are completely physically detached from that previous life. The shape of the reaper's soul is still largely based on its experiences from its previous human life, though, since it spent however many years in that human body and experiencing all that it did during those years. Otherwise, the reaper wouldn't care about redemption (or as Sascha says "forgiveness"), would they? Back to the idea of children being malleable, the best place for putting an old soul would be into a body that has experienced essentially nothing yet. Right?

Badda bing badda boom.

Rebirth theory Reaper = damaged and hardened old soul placed into a new body (vessel), which has the potential to fit any soul. That new body grows to harden around the old soul, making the reaper a lot like they were before, as a human... in personality and also possibly in appearance. (It fits well with my theory that Sebastian looks so much like Vincent and occasionally acts like younger real Ciel simply because the summoned demon ate real Ciel's soul before taking a human form.)

7. Aside: can't death scythes kill reapers?

They sure can! Grelle says they can cut "anything", including other dimensions... which means that demons and reapers can be killed, if the hit is hard enough or well-aimed. In Kuromyu2, that's how both Alan and Eric die as reapers. Alan's death should be filed away as an accident, but Eric technically dies as "suicide by demon". It's possible that he comes back as a reaper again, having to redo his punishment from scratch!

Of course, we know death scythes don't cut each other, which makes you wonder how Undertaker got those special scissor blades for Layla/Al. Where did he get the same material that death scythes are made from? Did he steal other death scythes and just modify them into weapons for the "lords"? 🤔 Or... has Undertaker simply taught Layla/Al how to fend off death scythes that rely on rotation? Because that's what Sebastian does to Grelle's death scythe with a wool coat. Could be a regular pair of scissors.

I also wonder how many reapers have tried to end their punishments with their own or other reapers' death scythes. Hopefully they realize it would not help their situations... unless they truly believe that death scythes can destroy a soul. Seems silly, considering they use death scythes to collect souls all the time without destroying them. Meh. The wording in the first few volumes is unclear. I think Grelle means how death scythes are used to cut the soul out of the body... not that they can be used to cut up souls themselves.

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ursbearhug · 6 months

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THAT ONE MOTHERFUCKING TIME I *DON'T* NEED TO GO INTO THE OFFICE NUMBER 7 THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING QUEUE TO IT! Are you FUCKING kidding me?

Also I want to somehow ramble about that stupid clown class we have, for some godsforsaken reason, on classical studies of all places; social campaigns.

To pass the class we have to prepare an entire campaign, down to a t, with all the stupid ass details, like cost, where, when, what form et cetera. So in the fit of rage, since this class is blatant and outrageous waste of my time and braincells, I made almost finished plan (without the cringe details, because literally nobody gives a shit) about teaching boys how to sew. This alluding to this one tweet where a guy jokes about girls learning how to do make up rather than cook - since he can't or won't eat foundation - and getting clapped by a girlie wishing death upon mankind when they die out of starvation because they refuse to use their own two hands to prepare their own meal. Though the focus was on boys mainly, I wouldn't turn down other interested. As this thing is also a group project that part of it has been lost in the translation.

I personally think her social justice warrior brain would overheat, combust and explode if I as much as suggest that men are fucking stupid and treated like children, no matter their age, status or occupation; and should not be spoonfed and treated extra nicely till the heat death of the universe. Sitting through most if not all of her lectures truly feels like Virtue Signaling up to whazoo. I don't know. I don't feel the need to brag about how good of a person I am if it brings nothing to the conversation. I fail to see these as example either, since example is meant to show correlation or similarity between situations.

But she also called this project 'repetetive' because somebody else in other group had similar one. Okay, and? Ever heard about panantropolic ideas? And even if, I was on this turf first because these kids are 18. So if somebody's supposed to adapt to others, then it's not going to be me. I will be cringe boomer in this case. And also also literally who the fuck cares? I'm trying to pass this class in as little effort and as quickly as humanly possible. Miss me with your originality complex, I'm classical student, I've never heard of it. Take your cringe ass romantic (the period, not the quality) ideas out of my face, you fucking cringe normie.

Cringe ass subject for cringe people. You can't change my mind.

One hour update;

You'd think, or at least assume, that with how 'progressive' today's society is, talking to children wouldn't be such a forgein concept and "ugh so 2016". But it seems like talking to children is still as unattainable and unfathomable as it used to. Maybe instead of forcing your child off of the door frame and have them screem their lungs off in horror, sit down with them and talk about their feelings and fears. Hospital can be scary but doesn't have to be. Talk with them about the procedure. A lot of our fears are really blown out by unknowable and inexperience. For instance; needles don't hurt nearly as much as people make it out to hurt, but that doesn't make them painless either. Yes doing certain thing hurts or is really uncomfortable, but it can get worse untreated. Children are really smart and they can understand human speech, so maybe utilize it and talk with your kids about whatever and everything. Hospital visit really doesn't have to be nightmare fuel.

I don't know the time update:

I think more people, who are not cis men, could use some of the delusion and audacity of most generic white man. "Oh nobody would date me". Believe im yourself sweetcakes. There are like at least 10 alpha males for every shy beans like you, that never have and never will satisfy a woman, let alone be able to form normal, healthy and flourishing relationship with anybody. And also remember that endgame is either; crush your enemies, watch them tremble and hear the lamentations of their widows or having a family. It's pretty much the same.

I have finished my healing process. With the stamp and all. I guess I just have to learn to live with the massive scar it has left.

#will delete later #percy does things

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the-firebird69 · 1 year

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Marl Marlboro is a burrow that has the particular mix of lime clay and sand I suppose if you mix it together with water it might solidify. I didn't notice a little bit about the soil there and I did a job there or nearby was different and it wasn't like a wet clay

Zues Hera

So where are you fell into the hole with caught himself the strength and speed and got out pretty easy and people were shocked and surprised and he wasn't he looked at us it's pretty far to fall and I could have gotten hurt inside to put stuff over it when he left ended up covering the whole hole and they were thankful and then he looked at the soil and said this stuff could have trapped me there and it was kind of goofy but not really a little fluffy and it was odd and yeah if you mix it with something it has a chemical reaction like concrete and some of the areas and stuff of Marlboro are very hard and solid and for many miles down and created a great barrier and a natural one for Hera to begin her work, and he's her test subject and provides specimens especially in the middle hospital she said didn't think it has got my cracking thank you to Scott McCracken and the idiots who put him in there cuz he built an army and it's still there below it it's a huge cavern and people don't even know it's there. If you look there is a province the Marlboro and it's not the county we're talking about and it is and was in New Zealand for a long time and I went down there when that fat a****** showed up it was supposedly family striking with us I went down there to go over their area and we've been slaughtering them when they arrive ever since. We did it with Tommy Allen too and Lexington, and yeah mengele clan too they wouldn't keep their nose out of it they got chopped off.

There's another Providence otoga and that's what it is in New Zealand and it rhymes with something that's right the tortugans but it does correlate to Massachusetts and it's a place where he was for a while and he didn't like it there it wasn't westborough this after of course, this has Milford and he says it doesn't rhyme with Tortuga at all but it does make sense but it says mill ford and I'm a Ford, I look very pissed off cuz they're saying she's deaf and I'm deaf so she knows if you leave I might hear yeah we got to hear about the stuff before you try that and she got to it and figured out it's true certain annihilate the idiots doing it in the max and we figured out what just you're saying she says and she found corky do you get quite a bit so it's not your code isn't your code you only takes over everything and you're running you're not even control all sucks so bad and he said oh no they went to work and it's still sucked. We're there so before warned and it was set foot in the island it's going to die if they're not us

Hera Zues

We're going to raise our armies down there we already started but now we're going to get a really big and yeah we're going to raise the tortugans it's with a call is what we're called we're also in Auckland it was mentioned many times it's cuz they're having a big failure there. Were going to use the pipes and show you the f*** off Trump.

Savage Oppress

Weather in Forest I'll get rid of these idiots and I can't stand them at all I don't know why they're around and why we let them stay around and say other orders as soon as I can I'm going to put a rush and priority maybe they suck so bad and I understand what you're saying right now numbers have a few huge so I get frustrated

Thor Freya

More fun stuff coming up

You have huge warehouses full of the big Cig in Marlborough, and that's a particular branding targeted we hate that place

Hera

Zues

Sweet too many people bother him they forgot all about crazy horse that's who he is the statue is coming out just like the model and other parts of the rock are broken are breaking off on their own and falling to the ground people have noticing something that might not be a statue at all

Thor Freya

I would never do that

Odin

Good good we understand. 15 looks just right, yeah you do have a point will the bill get jobs with you and you can make it look like you're the guy in charge usually it's the bigger one this is the other way around sometimes true but still you can put on little shows lifting things making jokes

Thor Freya

Street performances and I like it

Zues

The very difficult for my husband but down here should be that bad

Hera

Will you get some stuff set up and we know what you mean it's not all about being tough and showing off it's about fun and people want to have fun we could do that like carnivals and circuses they love that kind of thing especially the parking spot routine it's been some small guy and hamrmer out dents, will and Bill approve. And they're getting to work on it..

What a huge day I'm doing a published to get these idiots out of their hair when I get that

Thor Freya

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babyboyblasty · 3 years

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CHAPTER 10:

"You look nice, Deku" Uraraka smiled, her hands held behind her back as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet in a childish manner, looking at her green haired friend. "Is there anyone in particular you're trying to impress?" she gave him a knowing look that Izuku stuttered and blushed to.

"No! O-of course not" he immediately denied and averted his eyes when that only seemed to make Uraraka's smirk widen. Izuku knew he was a terrible liar and Uraraka could be very scary sometimes. "But um, hypothetically speaking.. if I /were/ trying to impress someone- which I'm not- but hypothetically speaking do you think they'll.. you know. Be impressed? Hypothetically."

Uraraka looked her friend up and down. Izuku's fashion sense has definitely improved since the beginning of their first year. Both Tsuyu and herself had made sure to teach Deku and Todoroki a thing or two about dressing themselves since they were completely clueless sometimes. Midoriya was wearing brown, cuffed corduroy pants with a forest green oversized short sleeve button up, a lighter green long sleeve underneath that to create layers. The red shoes were never going away though and Uraraka gave up in trying to get him to wear another pair of shoes. He looked good and Uraraka noticed how his hair was a bit neater too so he obviously put a bit of extra effort into trying to style his curls. In fact, looking around the common room it seemed that Deku wasn't the only one who put a little extra effort into their appearance today. Half the boys there looked like they were going off to a party instead of a casual class outing. Even Iida looked like he was trying out a new hairstyle. No glasses either.

"Umm, Uraraka-san?" Izuku waved his hand in front of the girl's face to get her attention. She zoned out for a bit there and she blinked, turning to face him again.

"Oh, right! Well, /hypothetically speaking/ right?" she smiled and he nodded, "I think they'll be very impressed." Deku beamed and her eyes shifted to Todoroki who was just arriving downstairs. "Oh, look! There's Todoroki-kun. Let's go talk" she grabbed Deku's hand in hers and took him with her. He looked very good! Todoroki's aesthetic was more of a simplistic/classy style with neutral colors. This time he decided to switch it up and was wearing a white t-shirt with an unbuttoned, loose fitting pale blue and white striped dress shirt over that. He had black jeans and white sneakers too. He looked very good. "Oooo~ is there anyone /you're/ trying to impress, Todoroki-kun?" Ochako teased.

"Yes."

Ochako didn't expect such a direct answer but giggled anyway at her blunt friend. Deku on the other hand didn't find it as funny.

"Is Bakugou here yet?" Shoto changed the subject and looked around the common room but didn't spot the explosion quirk user anywhere. He felt a little disappointed.

"No, Kacchan isn't here. Neither is Kirishima-kun" Izuku really tried to keep the bitterness out of his tone. He knew that they were best friends but did they really have to be glued at the hip 24/7? Deku doesn't like the way he starts to feel when he thinks of those two together but he can't help it.

"Oh" Shoto mumbled. There was an awkward silence where no one said anything for a few seconds until Uraraka couldn't stand it and broke it.

"So how are you feeling, Todoroki-kun? Are you still tired or are you feeling a bit better from earlier?" Ochako questioned. That got Izuku's attention and he turned to Todoroki with a curious expression. Was he sick? Todoroki didn't mention anything to him today. He wondered why he didn't tell him.

"I feel better, thank you. I'm excited to be going out with my friends" he smiled briefly and Izuku returned it. After that things started to go back to normal as they talked about what stores they wanted to go to and if they had anything in particular they wanted to buy. The common room was filled with brief conversation before the 'ding' of the elevator was heard and everyone turned to look at a nervous Kirishima standing on the far opposite side of a bored looking Bakugou. Izuku felt a knot form in his throat and Todoroki felt his heart skip a beat, their faces heating up a little at what girl Kacchan was wearing. He looked good. Hell, even if he was in his normal body and wore that he'd look good.

"You're here!" Mina rushed forward to hug her two friends in a crushing hug which Kirishima gladly returned. The girls may or may not be feeling smug at how everyone reacted to seeing Bakugou. Yeah, they did that.

"I said I would go with you extras, didn't I? Now let go, pinky" Bakugou groaned. She smiled wide before stepping back.

"This'll be so much fun!" Mina jumped up and down.

"Everyone please form a single file line for attendance! As class president I must make sure everyone is accounted for before we vacate school grounds" Iida made sure to grab everyone's attention by speaking loud and clear as well as waving his arms about. Where he pulled the clipboard from no one knows but Iida started to check off names in the class roster to submit to Aizawa sensei once they come back in a few hours. "Alright. Everyone is here. We can go now" he nodded in confirmation.

The class had to take the bus to go to the mall so Iida stayed by the door until everyone was inside before going in himself. Bakugou was planning to sit with Kirishima but the redhead as soon as he was in the bus went and sat beside Sero instead. Katsuki was confused since they always sit together and even Sero was looking between the pair in confusion. "You don't mind, right Bakubro?" Kirishima awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Bakugou just shrugged and moved on to find an empty seat to which Kirishima let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"What was that?" Sero questioned once Bakugou was out of earshot.

"What was what?" Kirishima turned to him.

"That. You always sit with Bakugou so why all of a sudden did you decide to sit next to me? I don't mind but I was a little caught off guard, man. You know, you've been acting weird ever since the night we played games in my room. Is everything cool?" Sero had an idea of what was happening but he wanted to hear it from Kiri himself.

"Yeah, everything's good. I just need to sort some things out for myself first" he explained and Sero nodded, leaving it at that. Kirishima appreciated that about Sero. He knew if it was Mina or Kaminari they wouldn't stop pestering him about it. Kirishima just wanted some time to hopefully figure out why he was all of a sudden feeling so weird around Katsuki.

On the other end of the bus, towards the back, Bakugou found an empty seat. Everyone else seemed to be already sitting with someone else but he didn't really mind it. Once seated, Bakugou put his elbow up on the edge of the window and looked outside. He felt someone slightly tap his shoulder though and looked up to a shy Koda. 'May I sit here?' he signed and Bakugou raised an eyebrow. He rolled his eyes and signed back 'go for it' and Koda smiled a little, quickly sitting down beside Bakugou. Aizawa did mention that because of his quirk, he may experience hearing loss in the future if he didn't take the proper precautions so Bakugou has been taking JSL classes from Koda since the beginning of their second year and developed a somewhat mutual understanding with the guy. He really wasn't all that bad, just a little quiet. And while they weren't friends friends, Bakugou knew that if he ever needed a quiet place to study or just hang out for a bit without talking, he could go to Koda's room. The same went for Bakugou. If Koda ever wanted to spar or wanted pointers to help in improving his fighting skills, Bakugou is available.

Now that everyone had a seat, the bus began to move. The ride was going to take approximately fifteen to twenty minutes so he just wanted to use the break to relax. Bakugou could tell Koda wanted to say something based on the way he would look at him every few minutes but then look away though. "What is it?" he finally asked a little less than halfway into the trip and Koda shook his head. "I know you want to say something, now what is it?"

Koda looked hesitant at first but then signed 'how are you feeling?' with a sincere look. Maybe if it was someone else Bakugou would have told them off for getting into his business but Koda was someone who earned his respect and admiration throughout their time together in UA and who he saw as an equal.

"Why do you ask?" he asked instead, a bit defensive, and Koda responded by signing 'this is a big change and I was just wondering how you were doing.' Bakugou shrugged. "It isn't something I can't handle. Besides, today is the last day of the quirk so I should be back to normal by tomorrow morning" Bakugou mumbled, adding in a "thanks" as an afterthought. Honestly speaking, Koda has been the only one who's asked him how he felt about this whole quirk situation. The rest of his classmates all just seemed to be having fun with it and while he didn't mind, it was nice to be asked.

'You're always welcome to come hang out with me and my bunny if you ever need quiet time,' Koda offered. 'He told me he misses the angry blonde boy with the warm hands" he joked. Bakugou smirked a little with a "tch, sure whatever. Tell 'im I miss the furball too" leaving his lips. After that Bakugou and Koda fell into a comfortable silence where Bakugou closed his eyes to rest for the few minutes they had left on the bus ride.

Everyone else in class 3-A never thought they'd see the day where they all wished they were in Koda's place. The anivoice boy was sitting perfectly still so as to not wake the pretty blonde that had leaned his head on the other's shoulder sometime along the trip and was now sleeping peacefully on him.

[word count: 1775]

( this fan art isn't in correlation with the story chapter but oH MY GOD LOOK HOW PRETTY GIRL BAKUGOU IS- 😩)

#bakubowl #fanfic #boku no hero academia #bakugou x everyone #bnha #gender bender #temporary fem!bakugou #fem!bakugou #bakugou centric #BAKUBOOBS!?!

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seedleaflesssapling · 3 years

Text

Ver 2.0? Turning Point?

I can't really identify to which point in my life that i started to doubt myself but im pretty sure that it was because of UP. Damn, that school, my uni. It do really have the ability to make you feel small; i was in a disadvantaged side when i entered it, you know. I was acquainted, no we did not really talked one-on-one, but i heard when we did introductions - Pisay, UP High, science comprehensive schools, Xavier University, who wouldn't be intimidated by that when you came from Col. Ruperto Abellon National School (who would know where that is? I was lucky enough for a teacher recognized it and my classmates be like 'ahhhhhh,' .....really?! I dont even know where xavier is, it just sounds cool). Another thing is that, i wasn't a stem shs graduate - a leverage(?) or excuse (?) that i always use for them to know that i am at disadvantaged side here, not their competitor, probably a NOBODY. They, being stem graduates, have capstone projects you never thought that they have at that age, but i would hear them saying that it was publish in this journal (whatever, idk the journals lmao, i dont even understand their studies 2nd lmao, but that was some smart shit you know, a shit that makes me feel pathetic for being too proud of my what? Correlational study from inconsistent surveys?!!! Wtf, wtf, wtf). But it was a very good peer pressure you know, i kinda turned it that way. Being left behind, being on the rock bottom, i have no other place to go but up. It wasn't the goal, like making or taking the top spot, i just need to survive.

Inevitably, the exams came. I had hard time adjusting chem but math was kind to me. Who would have thought that i would get two 1.0 at my math subjects for the first semester, the sem that i thought i would barely pass. I was even a CS for that sem. Who would have thought? Our first chemical engineering subject that involves computations was on the list the next semester and the first exam, out of 100 i got something like 20ish. WTF. THAT WAS MY FIRST FAILED EXAM. but no, never did cry but tears were flooding inside. So apparently, i have to focus more on this subject and i did. Some were still failing, but i raised my average up. We also had physics, my first ever physics. I really love physics that time or that sir rommel is just a very good professor. I got the highest score on our second LE, everybody else did fail. Small victories. Not that they lose, but i just won. But i heard one time they were talking about me re: passing the physics exam and even getting a high score. They were uhm.. a guy i really look up to cause his good, the other was a girl that idk but i think she didn't like me back then. They were friends but eventually the girl transferred uni because who cares why. i heard the guy saying something like sin.o gid na si franklin nga taas iya score man, maybe even worse than that, i still look up to the guy even until now. But wtf. I really took it in that time, like i wanted to cry but did not. With all that, i got a fair grade at physics. I still got 1.0 at maths that sem and even maintained being on the CS list. S M I L E. BECAUSE WE HAVE A MIDYEAR CLASS. VERY EXHAUSTING FOR SOMEONE WHO DONT WANT ANYTHING BUT JUST ADJUST, SURVIVE, AND FIND MEANING OF BEING A UP STUDENT. It was just one subject and it was math, but i got 2.0?!!! I have no excuse to that, i am very grateful for the family who accommodated me. After midyear class, i did got sick, it sucks, really sucks. I wanted to file an LOA for the next academic year, it is the only thing i can think of for me to go back on track (i haven't said that my parents pushed me to graduate with latin honor and i wanted to also for my resume to look good because everything else in me is effed up). I really wanted to pause and be free for a while but i also wanted to graduate on time (mostly because i want to give the bitches who dared to have expectations be put on my shoulders not the satisfaction, but the audacity to tell them 'i aint did it for ya') so i asked mama. THANK GOD, SHE DID SAY NA KUNG ANO LANG KAYA MO, AMO LANG DA IH 😭😭🤧🤧 so i enrolled, but went to school late, haven't attended the school opening but all is good. I did kind of reset, just enough for me to face school again.

Second year, it was fucked. I did really love coding on octave and doing sheets at ms excel though. On that year, we have formed the che 103 bagsak group. Together with two of my classmates on 103 and math 55, we became buddies after failing che 103 on the first LE, another 30 over 100 exam hahahahaha. We made bawi just enough for us to pass the subject hahahahahuhu. I have thermodynamics sub, i barely pass. Thank G na wala ko nag removal. If ever i did, i am so sure that i wont make it. My GWA for that sem was not enough for me to be a CS. Who cares? I still did, actually but mama was never been too pushy since then, even since after midyear, after getting that 2.0 grade from the only subject i am good at. Btw, my math 55 for first sem, second year, was 1.25. Not a 1.0 but still, it's good. Second semester that year was when pandemic hit so there's nothing much to tell. I was, sorry but i was really, glad to be away from school for a while, not until for a while became forever. Virtual university set-up was very hard. With too much from taking in whatever i see and hear on my surroundings, even just at home, everything is difficult. It is very hard to find motivation and discipline in studying when i was surrounded with people who do nothing. Even to this point i am writing, everyday is like a battle, but is mostly an internal one. Self vs self, a war no one knows who will win. So the confidence, the tower of knowledge i did build, exponentially went down. I did really well when i was in grade 10, i did my best that time and it can be seen at the achievements i had that year. Being consistently on top 1 the whole year, placing second on division MMC (even getting the highest score on the written elimination round for the whole cluster), doing well sa physics under maam andico, placings on cluster journalism competitions - it was like a record best, best record (?) Whatever. But it wasn't enough you know, i eventually came fourth like wtf. I had read from somewhere Newton saying like the two years when he did write the three laws of motion and the calculus stuff were the two best years of his life, and it kept me thinking that what if mine already passed? That it was when i was in high school?

But, back when i was in school, every time that i was belittling myself or even at random times that i would feel nervous for nothing, my classmates and close friends would say na:

Uno mo man ang Math, uno mo na na (it was a one or two time thing, what if chamba lang to???)

Ikaw man highest sa first le sa thermo (it was really an absolutely one time thing, i barely passed that sub)

Alam ka man sa physics (i was just invested on physics and maybe nachambahan lang na ang ginpractice ko solve kay parallel sa exam ni sir)

Alam ka, d ka lang confident (OKAY???!)

I was ignoring those shit cause who cares if i did really good that time. Yeah, it felt good but it wasn't fulfilling. Satisfied but not happy. But with recent events, i think i would be changing. This post will be a written contract that i will push to be better, to start trusting myself, and build that confidence glow behind me; to believe that i am bright and i can hack it, whatever it may be.

For coherence, i would itemize na lang all of the events that brought me to epiphany lol

It was Friday, 17 Sep, when Dean, in our plant design subject, gave an activity for us - to come up with solutions that would address problems he presented. 1 off grid island community (either you address the water, electricity, and phone reception/signal problem under a 100k budget) and 2 vinegar packaging with a 500 mL volume and should cost less than the cost of vinegar. The due's on Monday, 20 Sep. The challenge is that you should come up with an idea that is not the same with those who already turned in their proposed solutions. I haven't turned in mine until Sunday afternoon. We are 23 in class, hence there should be 23 proposed solutions for each problem. However, only 20 or 21 turned in their solutions and as a student who decided to do it three days after the sheet was given, i was at the second to the last of the entries hahaha. I have limited choice since a lot have been proposed. And ngl, i did entered my idea for the first problem at Sunday evening and for the second problem it was on the afternoon of the next day. Those were basic solutions cause who am I? Am just your basic guy.

Tuesday, 21 Sep (#NeverForget #NeverAgain), class again for plant design (PD). Dean discussed stuffs which im ngl, i did not listen because im bored (not until he said 'we'll have a 5-min break and we'll have a quiz after that' like wtf, how will we do our quiz???!). After the short break, I did study cause i panicked as hell, he presented the prospects of the course, that we will be divided in groups and that the leaders were chosen based on the solutions they turned in the activity previously given. So there's no quiz, i was calm the whole time after that until my name was called. Like wtf??! Your basic guy will be a leader???! Hello!!! So i chat people, asked them if it was a good thing (course it was!!!? So dumb right?!). And then, i asked another leader and she agreed to my argument that we should only be divided into six instead of seven as what dean has decided. So i chatted dean (pic below). I just accepted the role half-heartedly.

As leaders, we should be hiring people for our team and we should make pubs. I dont have a canva account to help me do pubs. I made mine at MS ppt HAHAHAHAHAHA but im good so its cute. We were assigned with projects and i get to have the 4-member team. The vacant roles were project maven and liaison officer for a 3-member team. In my pubs, i included scrummaster as position to be filled, cause who am i to lead?! So yeah, that's it. I did the pubs Wednesday and I submitted my resume Thursday (third to the last hahahaha but my resume's cute hahaha).

Thursday. So i had this invite by a classmate to join the Shell event long time ago. He was reaching out for someone to ask Dean for his approval because Dean did not replied to the email he sent. So, i volunteered. I really want this competition cause this will be my first and maybe last competition as a UP student. So i DMed dean and blah blah blah he asked for selection process. I relayed the message and apologize to them for being me because i was thinking that it was me who made him come up with the decision of having the team be selected. Like, wtf i was just asking for his approval. Getting kicked out of the team was not my intention. Those whom i chatted that night were telling me that it wasn't my fault blah blah blah. So i half-heartedly agreed to them.

Friday came, yesterday, the interview. I am very anxious for someone who will be the one asking the applicants lmao. I already have been interviewed before for college applications and somehow remember the feeling, nerve wracking, whatever. To calm my nerves, i listed questions which i never got to ask properly btw, but at least i have concrete ideas on what to ask. The first interviewee was my very closed friend and so we just laugh and laugh and laugh HAHAHAHAHA. IDK if dean saw it but who cares. And the next and next and next. 3:30 passed by fast and guess what??? YOUR BASIC GUY HAS THE MOST NUMBER OF APPLICANTS TO THE POINT THAT DEAN CUT MY LIST. IT WAS EXHAUSTING BUT VERY FLATTERING. I FEEL SO HONORED. i really thought and very scared at the thought that no one will apply to me but wtf, just wtf. Ranking my applicants was damn hard. 1 i have a dream team but one was cut by dean; 2 this could make my friends mad; 3 this will be the group for the whole year; 4 i am really exhausted. But still, i submitted the list. I was hoping for the people i chose to choose me back. Only two out of three did, i am forever grateful.

Still on Friday, the classmate who invited me to the Shell thing and Dean had a zoom call and discussed about the competition. That classmate told dean what i told him the other day that i might be the reason for the decision of having the selection process done. He told me this through a voice memo, katamad daw magtype. A voice message that i played over and over again. Dean actually find me interesting (?), Invested (?) Idk exactly but the classmate told me na 'may nakikita daw talaga sya sayo. Na grabe ka ka-practical as a person like yung ideas mo daw sa plant design napakasimple lang pero napaka practical to the point daw na madami nag apply sayo kanina. And then, you need more confidence lang daw talaga' so ig, you basic guy is a practical guy now. It's just flattering.

Now, whatever happens, i must meet those expectations right? This could be a lousy motivation but what is if there's none? I dont know why im writing this. I just thought i should get my thoughts out. Ver 2.0? Turning point? Let's just do good 😌

PS I put this on my bio on FB, guess im getting more public, and if you happened to read this because you saw the link on my bio, send me a message about you thoughts.

PPS if your initials are JTZC, these have been my week and i miss you even though you're not interested in me anymore, you are hard to forget

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hot-wiings · 4 years

Text

Edited: 3-8-20

You slowly made your way into the basement of the Shie Hassaikai's base. The dark and dimly lit hallways made you pull your arms towards your body and hug yourself while you grimaced in disdain.

If there was one thing you hated most in the world it was the dark. The fear that something – anything – could reach out and grab you haunted and plagued your mind. You always had this fear since you were a little girl, but you couldn't let this fear restrict you now.

Lately, Kai had been acting strangely. Or maybe he had been acting strangely for a while now and you just didn't notice it through your rose-colored glasses. However, the metaphorical glasses were off. You started to notice the strange way Kai had been acting around the time you noticed the changes in Eri.

All the signs pointed towards it, but the thought that Kai would hurt Eri in any way brought a taste of hurt and disgust to your mouth. You could only hope that Kai and Eri's behavior changes had no correlations or ties to each other. The only way you would know for sure was if you snooped around and found out for yourself.

The light flickered and you could feel the fear inside you grow like a raging war. You made a mental note to tell your grandfather to have all the lights in the establishment replaced. Maybe you should even convince him to add a few new lights.

You let out a quiet breath of relief as you reached a door that led to the very last floor; the deepest part of the building. You read the words engraved on the silver plate that laid bolted to the metal door. The pathology Lab.

Fact – The Shie Hassaikai base used to be a hospital.

South Cure Hospital was bought out by your great, great, great grandfather who used it for illegal Yakuza dealings. Since then it was passed down through generation to generation until your grandfather, who had yet to pass it down again. Most of the building had been renovated and changed but the basement and certain rooms still resembled that of a hospital.

Fact – Kai Chisaki forbade you from ever going into the basement.

Upon your first arrival to the Shie Hassaikai after being abandoned by your mother, Kai was tasked with befriending you and Eri. Kai’s golden rule was to never go into the basement. He told you you were to never go into the basement under the premise of it being 'dangerous, dark and dirty.' The really weird part about this whole ordeal was that your grandfather had never once told you to stay out of the basement, but he had no problem telling you to stay out of other areas of the premises.

For being 'dangerous, dark and dirty' it didn't look it. The front of the door was well lit by fresh light bulbs unlike the halls that led to the door, and it was pristinely clean. If the room were as unused as Kai said it was then there would be dust on the doorknob or there would be no lights at all.

If Kai was lying or hiding anything from you then it would be in this room, and a distinct feeling in your gut told you that the answers to Kai and Eri's personality change remained inside this room.

You hesitated before turning the doorknob. The answers behind the door would most likely hurt you, yet you had no choice but to find out the truth. You started to push the door open until you heard voices. You abruptly stopped pushing and put your hand over your nose and mouth to quiet your breathing in hopes they wouldn't hear you.

You knew you should have bolted upstairs so whoever was inside wouldn't catch you snooping but your curiosity got the better of you. Instead of running you pushed yourself to the wall to help keep yourself from being seen while you peered into the room through the four-inch crack you had opened.

The room was brightly lit and looked clean. From what you could see there was a table with scalpels, medical knives, and syringes filled with what looked like different types of medications based on the different colored fillings. The room looked like a testing room, which made sense considering it used to be a pathology lab, but it was supposed to be unused.

You spotted the green hoodie with the soft purple fleeced hood. Only one person within the Shie Hassaikai owned a coat like that. The person who you thought you trusted most; Kai Chisaki.

Lie – The unrenovated hospital basement was unused.

You felt your heart rate pick up as the realization of his blatant lie set in. The basement wasn't unused, Kai just didn't want you down there. If he felt the need to lie about it then he must be hiding something. He must be hiding something bad.

The voices resumed their talking which gave you the safe assumption that they hadn't noticed you slightly open the door. Slowly, you inched forward with caution in hopes of hearing what the voices were saying.

“It's amazing.”

“We can cure the world.”

You could hear whimpers coming from inside the room making you fearful of who all was inside and what was being talked about. You suspected the voices coming from inside were definitely Kai and Hari, his best friend, but who was whimpering? What was this supposed cure? More importantly, what were they curing?

“It's terrible to eavesdrop.”

You felt your heart drop into your stomach as you slowly walked back away from the door. You thought you were quiet, you thought you were careful. You thought that until the metal door swung open and Kai started to advance towards you.

"Especially on your boyfriend."

You kept walking backward away from Kai until your back hit a wall. You didn't remember there being a wall there before, it was then that you first noticed Kai's medical gloves were off. He must've used his overhaul quirk to trap you down here.

"I- I..."

Fear overtook your body rendering you speechless as Kai made his way towards you.

"I could've sworn I told you to never enter the basement."

"And I could've sworn you told me it was dangerous and unused."

You instantly regretted your snippy reply as Kai let out a deep chuckle. He had an erratic look in his eyes and his laugh sounded so dark. You had never seen Kai like this, and it scared you.

“What are you doing down here, [Y/N]?”

"What are you doing down here Kai?"

You don't miss the dangerous glint in his eyes as you stare into his golden orbs. You bite down on your lip as you walk closer to Kai. He wouldn't hurt you, he couldn't hurt you. He was your sweet Kai, the love of your life.

Lie – Kai Chisaki would never hurt you.

Kai reaches out to grab you and for a minute you thought he was going for your hand but instead he grabs ahold of your forearm and pushes you against the wall.

No, this wasn't your Kai. This wasn't your sweet loving Kai. This wasn't the man who held you as you wept over the fact you lied to your sister when she asked why your mom left you here. This wasn't the man who took you to the field of flowers. This wasn't your Kai, but rather a Kai filled with rage and malice.

"I don't think you want to know, love."

"I want to know, love."

Kai pulls you by your arm into the pathology lab before letting go of you. You got a more clear view of the room. It was indeed a fully furnished lab room, but the sight disgusted you. There in the center of the room, strapped down to a lab table was your baby sister, Eri.

"What the fuck?"

Your body doesn't even take time to think before it runs forward on its own accord. that was your sister being used as a test subject. Your human sister strapped down like a rat. You reached the test table and tried to pull Eri's straps off.

“You should’ve just remained ignorant. Ignorant and happy.”

You tried pulling the straps off, your nimble fingers pulling the thick leather strap through buckle after buckles until Kai pulled you away from her. He pulled your arms behind your back and used his quirk to fuse your arms together.

“Stop, you can’t do this.”

You yelled your words out at him with pure aggression. You tried to fight back by thrashing your shoulders back and forth as he pulled you away from Eri but he continued to pull you away unfazed. With no arms to fight back, as well as no quirk you were left completely useless.

A few tears escaped from your eyes as you watched Eri’s fearful face while you were dragged away. Kai lowered his lips to your ear, his hot breath irritating your skin.

“I can do this, and you can't stop me. I told you that you didn't want to know but you insisted, now you have to live knowing the truth.”

Fact – Kai Chisaki is not someone you can trust.

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palidinus · 3 years

Text

couple notes about like. the general c-ptsd experience for shiro.

i cannot describe to you what it's like 100% accurately, only the correlation with what i feel and how it relates to how shiro feels. my symptoms aren't as intense as shiro's, i don't experience real-time flashbacks whatsoever, although i do get sucked into a memory so intensely that it's hard for me to a) pull out of thinking about it (think a daydream, only nobody can really talk through to you and you're still aware of your surroundings, you just can't respond as quickly if at all), and b) i experience emotional flashbacks, wherein along with those i might either at the same time or separately be triggered (which rips through me all at once) into both. usually, when i'm triggered into both flashback types at once, i also feel intense emotional pain. when i don't feel an emotional flashback, what i experience is the usual. frustration towards the subjects in said thoughts (people), actions, words during those thoughts, sometimes bad enough to give me a headache because i just can't. stop. thinking about it. rage or extreme pain, think like having a major crush/being in love with someone but then it just gets ripped out of you and it's in your chest and throat and it just hurts all tight. usually crying. you can't breathe.

because shiro is a seasoned war veteran who was also put in several hostage situations, has had near death experiences/an actual death experience more than once, was assaulted numerous ways throughout his life, has experienced major weather disasters... ALL of it, almost everything you can think of, shiro shouldn’t be functional, like, whatsoever.

as he is, he's 57% disabled (mentally and emotionally), and this is because 1) conditioning taught manually, 2) conditioning taught professionally, 3) eva's helping him when she can (a friend he has that has therapist experience). if it weren't for these things combined with his ethereal connection to black, he would be far worse off. his deep affiliation to the spiritual connection he has with black and thus with quintessence helps to ground him, otherwise, again, he wouldn't be functioning like. at all.

shiro gets night terrors. i've already explained those, so i won't go into detail about them again. they're part of this list of symptoms, so they're being added to the list.

you'll often see shiro trying his damndest to pay attention and not space out. you'll see shiro isolating himself from everyone else because he cannot. stop. the thoughts. he’ll make himself the smallest person in the room, even if he’s the person at the head of a meeting, and will purposefully sit at an exit where he can see the entire perimeter. he’s paranoid, sometimes delusionally so, thinking people are out to get him for from... the tiniest, most inconsequential reasons to full out, people are trying to kill him. he obsessively notates these thoughts, writes down the names of those he’s thinking about when it occurs... it’s kinda bad. if this all sounds bad, it’s because it is. and you probably don’t even know how bad it is if you’ve never experienced it.

his memories? they're in great detail. the flashbacks are worse, it's like he's getting flashes of real moment events right before his eyes as he obsesses about them, and when those spiral out of control he's pouring sweat, he's usually in pain, smells and hears things that aren't there, maybe tastes them too.

it's hard to catch him having a full breakdown. it's in his hands when it happens, usually he's hiding his face some way, a self-soothing mechanism, digging his nails into his hands, you'll hear heavy breathing, grunting, trying to catch his breath like he's run a marathon.

shiro dissociates. shiro depersonalizes. shiro experiences breaks with reality, full on psychosis at times, desperate attempts to break free of feeling trapped inside his head, to feel things, etc.: the escapism comes in, the martyrism comes in, the guilt comes in high gear. it's a flood of feelings and sensation that overloads his body and his mind.

i can't list all the psychosomatic symptoms. there are many.

we know that shiro freezes up. like, if something triggers him, he stops being able to move. see: the thousand yard stare. that’s when he really starts panicking. that’s when he’s really going through a flashback. flashbacks last from seconds to hours in succession.

anyway, this never, ever lets up for him. what he tells himself when he's suicidal, which happens more often than he'd like to admit and would get him put on watch... immediately if he ever told anyone about how often he feels unsafe, is he tells himself: "you can kill yourself tomorrow. today is shit, but you don't have to kill yourself today. put it off until tomorrow. then tomorrow. Then tomorrow. living another 49 years seems intolerable, so don't try. just stay alive until tomorrow."

#mental illness /#mentions of yikes stuff /#suicide and suicidal thoughts /#→ ooc #→ headcanons #yet another fun fact no one asked for: chronic illnesses and chronic pain can cause c/ptsd

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vertebralheights · 4 years

Note

hi yes hello ivy please if you wouldn't mind expanding on what eros was talking about -- tell us more about this skeletons being revived from dead humans thing? :0

*Cracks Knuckles* My time has come, lads.

For ya’ll sake I’m putting this under a readmore.

SO! First of all, a disclaimer. The original idea of skeletons resurrecting dead bodies was inspired in part by the comic/au Skelechara, which you can read here! It’s really pure. I honestly can’t remember how much of my resurrection lore existed in 2015 when I first conceptualized VH so it’s best to cover my bases, as my memory is terrible and I can;t remeber when I started developing that particular aspect of my lore.

A second disclaimer is that some of this is subject to change. I’m fussing with aspects of it all the time. But as of right now, this is ~how it works~ for my version of skele-lore. I’ll be presenting it as a sort of... Bulleted? List? I guess?

A THIRD disclaimer is that for this to flow out of me, I have to throw down some not-yet-spoken about lore with some of my other skeleton ocs who I don’t PLAY but will feature in a future project, so bare with me. Links will be provided so you can take a poke around

Not all skeletons can resurrect human corpses, or any other corpses for that matter. It’s a unique skill that is pretty rare. There haven’t been enough cases of the ability to do much study on it. The skill itself is often kept hidden, as it is a pretty taboo topic as well as pretty dangerous if you don;t know what you’re doing.

As of right now, I only have FOUR skeletons in my massive skeleton roster (that is ever growing) that are capable of this ability. One is MV Boli, who HAS the ability but has never done it and is not aware that she can do it. The second is Zapfino Dingbat, her father, who has done the most research on the topic, and has had the most practice. The third is a skeleton named Jokerman, who is unique in that he himself is a made skeleton. He has three resurrections under his belt, three children named Mania, Vine and Dokdo, all of whom are VH residents.

The fourth is a skeleton by the name of Escrow who is also unique. He somehow managed to learn how to do resurrections, despite it being a skill that is unteachable. He is currently buried in some DEEP LORE but all you really need to know is that he was a colleague of Zapfino’s.

So, onto some particulars:

If a body is to resurrected, it’s best that it is complete. Missing limbs aren’t ideal, but you can work around it. If a body is too badly damaged, chances are you won’t be able to bring it back without a lot of healing magic. A very skilled skeleton healer can heal the bones of a body, even after it no longer has a soul. (Bo’s mother Lucida was one such healer.) If a human can live without it, a skeleton can too. (But if it’s missing a head, sorry pal but it’s donion rings)

The first step in a resurrection after you’ve made sure the skeleton is okay to be resurected, is removing the flesh. The SAFEST way to do this is to remove the flesh manually or ‘the old fashioned way’ which involves many different cleaning measures. HOWEVER, you can bypass this step is you expell a greater amount of magic when you perform the resurrection. This results in the flesh almost literally exploding off the body. This is gross, and takes WAY more magic than is needed. This is where resurrections can get pretty dangerous. This is the type of resurrection Zapfino Dingbat was doing during the war to make more skeletons to serve in the kinds army. More on that in a moment.

Resurrection itself is a very powerful type of magic that comes directly from the SOUL. It allows the resuscitator's SOUL to split open and release a burst of magic strong enough to manifest itself into en entirely new SOUL. Initially, this soul is quite weak, and needs time to form and grow before they can function on the same level as a regular skeleton. This is, obviously, exhausting for someone performing a resurrection. Over time ,the soul becomes permanently cracked and pitted from being opened and split so many times. Similar to a horcrux from Harry Potter, the user may start to sort of ‘lose themself’ from being spread so thin.

Once a body is revived, they often take on a mental age close to their body, but more often they act slightly younger. (A child of six may act like a toddler, a young adult like a teenager, etc. They will catch up, they have lots of time.) They seem to possess no memories whatsoever, starting essentially as a blank slate. They are capable of moving, speaking, and thinking, and within minutes of being resurrected personalities begin to emerge as their soul rapidly takes a more stable form. Personal, emotional aspects form much faster than physical ones. Magic wont start to manifest for at least a day or two, and from there it;s a matter of training and honing their skills. Some took to it, others did not.

During the war, there wasn’t time to allow for these new beings to form and complete their resurrections, so as a result they were very magically weak and died very easily on the battlefield. The original goal of Zapfino’s project was to up their numbers of strong skeleton warriors, but it became a sort of body factory, adding numbers to die, giving stronger fighters a better chance to survive. It was a cruel cycle. Not the intention, but it ended up being the reality. (This is kind of the basis for mine and Ero’s War Verse)

A first step is usually to give them a name and a brief overview of what the state of the world was. These people were pretty much told it was their purpose to fight (and die) and most of them took to it immediately as it was all they knew. If there was resistance, they would be forced to fight. It was a cruel system. Zapfino ignored how cruel it was for the sake of progress. Someday the war would end and he could do something better but for now, this is what needed to be done.

I need to reiterate that these bodies were initially VERY weak and easily killed. It was only with time that they’d become strong and essentially fully fledged monsters. All of the made skeletons alive now are fully capable of magic and are fully formed. The most recent skeleton that was made was Dokdo, made four years prior to current events.

Before I go on, I will cycle back to WHY Zapfino did this. He discovered his ability to do resurrections during his childhood after being taken in by humans black magic users. He mostly kept this talent under wraps as he grew older, only really digging into the idea of creating life, COMPLETE lives, once the war began. I HC that the war started with a different king, Asgore’s father. I think THIS king was much crueler and more violent and was more willing to do some nasty things to get ahead in the war. When Zapfino made his proposal to swipe human bodies and restore them to fight for the monsters, he IMMEDIATELY set him up with resources to do his dark work. Initially, he DID have good intentions. He wanted to rehabilitate them and give the ma REAL fighting chance but the numbers needed were too great to keep up, so they were made and sent out in rapid fire. He was working incredibly long hours doing impossible work. After the old king was slain, the damage that had been done was devastating. Sure, many lives were GAINED but just as many had been lost. He was ordered to cease. And he did. In public, anyway. After Asgore took over the practice DID continue, mostly in privacy. There were OTHER motives now. Dark, darker and yet darker motives.

During the war, many of these bodies died, but not all of them perished. Some of them even managed to live long enough to become great warriors. Some of them found love, married, had children. After the war there was a certain level of unrest within the skeleton community. They weren’t pleased with what had happened to their race, how they were made into pawns for the war effort. Zapfino become somewhat of an outcast in his community because of this, which isolated his entire family. He was still welcome with other scientists and with some of the made skeletons who were more thankful for their chance at life, but all in all, he was shunned as a cruel man. His involvement with the establishment of Vertebral Heights was seen as a redeeming effort by the public, an attempt to right the wrongs. Some, those that knew him or his wife or children, forgave him. Most didn’t.

During the colonization of the underground, as cities and settlements were built and as the core grew, skeletons as a race grew restless. In some monster communities the made skeletons were treated poorly, because the ‘reeked of human’ and ‘were more human than monster’ which unfortunately caused a lot of problems, which were only amplified my misinformation and propganda from various parties.

Eventually a decision was reached that the skeletons, made and born, would leave. The made ones especially. They were going to venture deeper underground and establish a new city. There was talk of exchanges and partnerships, but once they left, connection ceased entirely. After awhile, anyone who knew a skeleton figured they’d died off. So few remained behind, and if they tried to follow the original group down, they never came back. No one ever came back from Vertebral Heights. A search party was even sent by Asgore, and they never came back either. It was given up on, a great loss for monster kind. Or... So they thought, anyway.

SO TO RECAP ON THE BIOLOGY PART, AND SOME STUFF I FORGOT AND AM TOO LAZY TO GO ADD IN:

Can be resurrected from any corpse, human or animal as long as it it in decent working condition.

Initially the body is very weak, and they have no memories.

Memories do come back to them, often in dreams. But it’s never enough to restore them to who they were.

There is no correlation between who they were as humans and who they are now. Just because they were a violent human, doesn’t mean they will be a violent skeleton. This is especially true if the body has had time to sit without a SOUL for awhile.

Resurrection is a rare skill.

With time they can be just as strong as any regular skeleton monster (which is pretty damn strong)

The initial plan was better than what it turned into.

Resurrection can be very harmful to the monster doing the resurrection (Physically and Mentally)

The common monster probably doesn’t recall that this was ever a thing that happened.

The move to VH was inspired by mostly lies and propaganda against made skeletons.

Made skeletons are capable of having children with born ones.

If there’s anything else you want to know ask me I’m sure I’m missing beats here and there but I am so tired.

#;;Skeleton Biology #;;Lore #;;The Gang (Residents)#;;Doctor Zapfino #Anonymous

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whats-the-wish-of-your-life · 3 years

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Every First, Every Last (Part 1)

"No, it's in the left patch in the front," Saram chuckled as Dong Kyung searched for the car key with both of her hands, deliberately lingering inside his back pockets.

She was grinning while looking up at him as she slid one hand inside the front patch of his jeans, as he instructed.

"Yeogi?" She asked playfully.

"My left, not your left."

"Yeogi?"

"Eoh," Saram nodded, wishing he had a free hand. "Having fun yet?"

Dong Kyung's smile only widened as she tried to feel the key, while Saram tipped his head backwards as he held his breath.

Not that he was complaining, but why was his wife so frisky this morning?

But he was carrying a couple of huge paper bags that were filled with clothes and some shoes, which they were to drop at a charity event that was arranged by Joo Ik's company. And since he didn't have any free hands, his wife volunteered to get the car keys from his pocket. And she was surely taking her sweet time doing just that, just as they were about to step out of the house.

When finally, Dong Kyung fished out the keys, she scrunched up her nose then tiptoed and gave Saram a quick kiss on the mouth.

"Found it," she giggled then turned around to march towards the door.

But Saram was hot having it. How could she stir him up like that and not expect him to retaliate?

So before she could take another step, Saram dropped the paper bags on the floor and lightly grabbed her wrist as he hinged one arm around her stomach and spun her gently so she was facing him.

"Eodigaseyo?" He asked with an impish grin while he pushed the door behind her.

"Outside," she squinted, trying to stifle a grin, but hugging him like a baby panda on a bamboo culm.

"You think it will make things less dangerous?"

"Eoh. It's very dangerous to be in an enclosed space with you."

"Then why did you kiss me like that, if you weren't looking for danger?"

Dong Kyung cleared her throat and turned her gaze on her husband's forehead. She was kidding herself if she thought she could look at him squarely for that long.

"Ya, we're going to be late. We only have 30 minutes to get there," Dong Kyung attempted to deflect the topic.

"Oh trust me. At this rate we won't need 30 minutes," Saram snickered, brushing the tip of his nose against hers.

"Ya! Stop fooling --"

Saram cut her off by swiftly covering her lips with his mouth and her arms automatically folded around his shoulders as she tiptoed to reach him better. But instead of bending down, Saram scooped her up and carried her to the living room.

"We haven't done it here yet, have we?" He asked in jest between butterfly kisses as he sat down on the leather couch, with Dong Kyung on his lap.

"Does the floor count?" Dong Kyung retorted with a giggle, while kissing him playfully.

Saram halted for a moment, pretending to try and recall. "Oh that's right. We didn't make it to the couch."

"Ya!"

"What?"

"You don't have to be too specific with those things," she blushed.

"How do you still get flustered when I talk like this while you kiss me randomly all the time?"

"I don't do that."

"Get flustered or kiss me randomly?"

"Kiss you randomly."

"You just did it at the doorway," Saram scoffed. "Now stop fibbing. You can't distract me out of this."

He then pulled her closer and proceeded to kiss her once more with a restrained haste, but failing miserably at holding back his eagerness with a breathless grunt.

He hiked up her skirt then ran his hands up and down her thighs. How Dong Kyung ran her fingers through his hair as she straddled him didn't help his already crumbling self control. That and her minty breath, and her warmth, and her soft skin, and her curves, and her faint groans and...

Then her mobile phone started ringing. .

He tried to ignore it and kept himself busy with his wife's mouth, hoping every flick of his tongue would be enough to distract her. But she started tapping on his shoulders, signaling him to halt.

"My phone," she murmured against his mouth, their teeth barely clashing as he kept diving back in. "My phone is ringing."

Saram paused regretfully, heaving from the sudden interruption.

"Do you have to answer that?" He protested as he gasped for air.

Dong Kyung bit her lip and nodded then went for one more peck. She then dismounted from his lap and moved to his side, while he watched her frantically take out her mobile phone from her purse.

"Yeoboseo?" She answered promptly. "Ah, Eonnie."

Saram took a deep sigh, swallowing puffs of air to placate his heartbeats that were still ringing in his ears. How could his wife come down from the haze so fast while he could barely catch his breath?

He then stood up and walked awkwardly to the kitchen, leaving his wife on the phone with what sounded like Na JiNa, so she could talk freely without him gawking at her like a hungry puppy.

When he reached the kitchen, he took a bottle of water from the fridge then leaned on the counter as he downed the entire thing in one go. He was getting self-conscious as he hadn't completely calmed down yet. A part of him was still a little stiff from need.

He could overhear DongKyung's side of her conversation with Na JiNa and he could tell that she was being reprimanded for being late to the charity event.

So a few minutes later, he walked back to the living room just as DongKyung ended the call. He then sat beside her as he handed her an already opened bottle of water which she took lazily with a pout.

"Gwenchana?"

"Hm," she nodded while swilling her water. "We really have to go now."

"Arraseo. Finish your water first," he agreed with a slight nod and a close mouthed smile.

The disruption of what supposed to be a brisk intimate moment between the newlyweds surely made for an interesting car ride.

Dong Kyung couldn't stop teasing her husband while Saram took all the mocking with grace by not pointing out how his wife was the one who started all the frisking.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask," Dong Kyung suddenly changed her tone and the topic. Or so Saram thought. "I'm surely not your first, am I?"

Saram nearly beat the red light when instead of the brakes, he stepped on the gas by mistake in surprise. But he was able to carefully bring the car to a halt right before the intersection.

"What?" He asked in bewilderment as he turned to her.

"I'm just curious. I mean, you…always seem to know...what you're doing," Dong Kyung stammered. She could feel the warmth quickly sweeping across her face. Why did she start asking about this subject again?

Saram briefly looked straight into the traffic ahead as he licked his lips, then followed it up with a smirk.

"You are without a doubt every first this body has ever experienced," he muttered as he looked at her squarely with a mischievous grin.

Dong Kyung squirmed in her seat, also with a stupid grin on her face."Jeongmal?"

"Eoh," he nodded with a small smile, hoping his wife wouldn't fixate on the subject.

A moment later, the light turned green and he drove the car forward, while Dong Kyung turned her eyes to the window. Her sudden silence was making him nervous because it always meant she was ruminating on something that bothered her.

"Jamkamman," she blurted out, eyes widening and squinting almost simultaneously as she shifted in her seat to turn to her husband. "Ya! What do you mean by 'this body'?"

I knew it, he panicked internally, struggling to keep his eyes on the road. "Mwo? Wae?"

"You said 'this body'," Dong Kyung gestured to all of him. "This is a new human body. What about your old body as MyulMang?"

Here we go, he thought to himself. He could never get away with technicalities with this tiny human being he called his wife. So he resorted to the oldest trick in the book: correlation. "In my old form as Doom, I was responsible for the things that disappeared or got destroyed. And didn't I tell you that most of the things that disappeared were beautiful?"

"Ne."

He then took her left hand and took his eyes off of the road for a moment to look at her. "Innocence was one of them."

Dong Kyung held his gaze for a few moments, not saying anything. And as they reached another intersection and Saram brought the car to a halt, she started shifting in her seat again and her eyes began to wander aimlessly, obviously dumbfounded by what he just said.

You suspected that you weren't his first, why are you so shocked right now? She reprimanded herself in her head.

"Are you mad?" Saram asked, tentatively. He then planted a kiss at the back of her left hand which he was still holding.

"Ani," she responded without looking at him. "I don't know how I feel."

"Shocked?"

"Kind of. But not really."

"Disgusted?"

"Mwo?"

"Do you hate me?"

"What are you talking about?" Dong Kyung turned to him with a worried expression. "Ya, I presumed this. That was my question earlier. That I surely wasn't your first, right?"

"I'm sorry," Saram apologized then kissed her hand again.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Because you look upset."

Dong Kyung felt a sudden tug in her chest. Her husband was really getting better at being human especially when it comes to reading her. She was both impressed and touched by his observation.

"I'm not upset. I'm just --"

"Jealous?"

Am I? Of whom? She wondered. "Maybe? This feeling is new to me. I've never felt this way this before. At least not because of you. So maybe I will just call it that."

The rest of the car ride was just filled with comfortable silence, and handholding, and affectionate gazes, and occasional hand kissing. But even though Dong Kyung didn't say anything else about the subject, Saram could tell that it wouldn't be the last time she would bring it up.

They reached the venue 15 minutes later and Na JiNa was the first to greet them at the entrance.

"Tak!" She called out to Dong Kyung beside a makeshift pillar that held a few pieces of ornamental plants.

"Eonnie!" Dong Kyung greeted her back as she rushed to hug her. Jin-a then walked her to the table near the stage.

Saram trailed behind them, carrying some huge paper bags of shoes and clothes with both of his hands. Cha Joo Ik welcomed him with a beer bottle and took care of the donations they brought. He then came back a minute later with more drinks for the two ladies who were now ignoring them at the table.

"Why were you guys late?" Joo Ik asked Saram then took a swig of beer from his bottle.

"My wife took some time finding the keys," Saram nearly snickered, because he wasn't exactly lying.

"I see. Thanks for your donation by the way. JiNa told me that other than in kind, you donated cash."

"It's for a good cause. It's a nice gesture from your company."

"Thank you. It was Jin-a's idea. She says it's good to give back to the community every once in a while. Especially since the company has been gaining traction in the market," Joo Ik explained proudly.

"I agree with her. I have never participated in a fundraiser for the homeless before. Dong Kyung is really passionate about this."

"Are you guys talking about us?" Jin-a interrupted humorously with a squint.

Joo Ik chuckled as he reached for Jin-a's hand. "Ne. I was telling Saram that this fundraiser was your idea."

"Aissh, you don't have to go telling everybody that,'' she rolled her eyes in jest. "Tak, look at him. He's really in love with me, isn't he?" She suddenly involved Dong Kyung in the conversation.

Dong Kyung played along and narrowed her eyes at Joo Ik, pretending to observe him. "Yes. I think he's madly in love with you," she agreed playfully.

Joo Ik was all smiles even though the two ladies made him the subject of ridicule. "I tell you that all the time. Why did you still have to ask Dong Kyung?"

Jin-a looked at Dong Kyung and laughed hysterically. "Ya, we have to stop. If we keep this up, I will not hear the end of it."

"Aissh, Joo Ik the boyfriend is just like Joo Ik the CEO," Dong Kyung laughed, too.

"What do you mean by that?" Joo Ik asked, looking like he was taking offence.

"She means you unnece--"

Saram didn't get to finish his statement as Dong Kyung covered his mouth with her hand. She then cackled awkwardly while Saram just looked at her with a bemused expression.

"I was just kidding," she chuckled.

Saram understood then that he wasn't supposed to say out loud what he had in mind - that Joo Ik was unnecessarily quibbling about trivial things, as Dong Kyung told him a few days ago, when he picked her up from work. So he decided to speak nothing of it, if that was what his wife wanted.

As the fundraiser progressed, more and more people arrived at the venue to give their donations. Most of them were authors, while others were interested parties from different industries.

Jin-a had to leave their table to supervise the program while Joo Ik hosted the fundraising, leaving Dong Kyung and Saram alone at the table.

“Who’s that?” Saram asked as he leaned closer to his wife.

“Ah. A new author we pirated from another publisher.”

“Who's that?”

“Oh, that, too. Also that girl beside him. They're kind of a package deal,” Dong Kyung giggled while her husband pointed at every unfamiliar face in the event hall. Who knew they would be playing Name That Barnyard Animal at a charity event?

“How about him?”

“Him?” Dong Kyung followed his gaze when she noticed how his eyes narrowed. “Of course you know him. That’s Young Prince, the author.”

“I know. But why is he here?” He grunted.

The young author probably noticed how Saram’s eyes were fixed on him, because he then started waving his hand at Dong Kyung.

“Ya, of course he was invited. He's one of our authors and we’ve been working together for quite some time now. He’s practically family,” Dong Kyung retorted with a contrived smile as she waved back to Young Prince.

Saram only snorted in response. That brat just had to be there to annoy him, didn't he?

Even in his old immortal form, he had always detested this young man. Maybe because he could hear his thoughts and how they refuted his actions towards Dong Kyung. How he acted indifferently, while in his heart he was completely smitten by her.

#bboing couple #doom at your service #park bo young #myulkyung #fanfic #seo in guk #myul mang #tvn doom at your service #tak dong kyung #kdrama doom at your service

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