#she was…. a lot with her undiagnosed BPD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tama-gucci · 1 year

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hm my grandmother passed in her sleep

#I didn’t cry on the phone when my mom called because I didn’t want to add to her grief #my mom rarely cries because she’s usually so upbeat and positive (in a healthy way I should say)#and idk hearing her teary voice on the phone always breaks my heart #so I try to be composed and sturdy for her sake #which is funny because I cried sooooo much growing up and in college and still even to this day #I mean I still cry and she comforts me #so I guess idk I just wanted to have one less thing making her feel sad #idk #I am sad but my grandmother’s dementia… it had progressed a lot in the last couple of years #she didn’t recognize me in August #and I think I did a lot of grieving over the years / preparing myself #I’ve missed her and I will miss her #she was…. a lot with her undiagnosed BPD #but it also gave me a lot of insight into that and taught me to keep firm boundaries #and seeing how much my grandfather gave to her without understanding she had BPD #it taught me to be more forgiving… less harsh. more compassionate.#which I still try to work on to this day #I love her I miss her #I’ll always bake her recipe for chocolate chip pumpkin bread #I’ll always think of her spaghetti sauce and Lebanese dishes #might buy some yubra tomorrow and cry while eating them #27 #my dog is making cute noises in her sleep #it comforts me

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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Was I the asshole for burning the bridge w my half brother last xmas?

(pls read to the end, tw for drug use mentioned and death mentioned, r slur mentioned)

So I (23, agender) am the youngest of 4 siblings, all my older siblings are from my mom's first marriage and I'm from her second. I grew up with my 3 siblings as my siblings, no half sibling language bc it doesn't matter. However, the one who was born before me, S (31, m) has never particularly liked me, he was kind when I was very small, we played hockey together briefly in the gym of my old church, he showed me miniclip games, etc. but at one point due to my oldest brother's (would be 35 this yr, rip) drug problem S was sent to live w my grandparents, my grandfather is very against hugging or crying for men and just caused S to bottle everything. Plus, my mom suspects that S felt abandoned understandably by the family. But my mom had a bipolar husband, a son w undiagnosed BPD and a c-ke addiction, my sister was, iirc, either in another province with her bio dad and I was under 6 years old. She was going through it and just physically couldn't handle any more than she already had. She had a nervous breakdown a few years after the whole older brother thing. After my oldest brother died, and I came out as agender I just kinda became bitter, I was raised in a very conservative christian environment so I wasn't encouraged to be queer and my initial coming out caused a lot of pain. A few years later I got into a relationship with my fiance and just overall started wanting to run away, something I'd been thinking for years, but it was even stronger. Even my sister ran away in her way. My brother too. My dad passed away last year in March, and that was just...the last straw for me. My dad, despite all his flaws was always there for me, and now he was gone. Throughout all this time (the 13 years sibce we were last a happy family), anytime I'd express interest in something, S would call it r-t--ded, he'd put down anything and everything I liked, I'll admit I always was a cringey kid, but it's no excuse to call me that. Over this time, he'd make little comments and things and my dad would also make small mentions that led me to believe that some of the gifts he'd given me were stuff he didn't want anymore, so he just handed them to me. One bday he gave me his old gameboy and a few games. No wrapping or anything, just my mom reminding him it was my bday and him calling me over and handing it over. I loved that gameboy mind you.

Cut to last xmas! I was bitter and feeling petty. S at this point had never bothered building a relationship despite my attempts. Relationships, family or otherwise, are a 2-way thing imho.

So, I gave him some candies, this reindeer dog thing he had given me when I was like 10, and wrapped it up w a card I wrote that said "I burn this bridge" and a few other things. He was disappointed with the plush, I thought it was bc he had actually put thought in that one. He said "no it's just the principal of things!"

So, Tumblr, am I the Asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #slur cw

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genericpuff · 10 months

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Wait, what's this about the retconning of Minthe's BPD?

There's a lot you can find on it online as it is (I've talked about it plenty in previous posts as well) so I'm gonna try and keep the explanation brief if that's ok!

Basically it was confirmed ages back that Minthe was initially written with BPD, but that was later retconned and removed. While there's no definitive reason as to why she retconned it, I think it's fairly obvious it's because it wasn't a good look for her to write the character with a very stigmatized and severely misunderstood mental illness who would be 1.) an abuser and 2.) inevitably turned into a plant.

But there's still proof of Minthe having BPD evident in S1 of LO, particularly with Episode 76 which was literally called Splitting.

"Splitting" is a very BPD-specific term, in which an individual with BPD experiences severe mood swings, impulsivity, and difficulty in viewing things outside of a black and white perspective. We actually see Minthe experience splitting, hence the episode title, it's all very intentional.

Minthe is viewing this entire problem as her vs. Hades. And it's not entirely owed to her being self-centered, she shows through her inner monologue that she's very self-aware of the fact that she's being harsh, that much of what happened was due to her own actions, and even blames herself for acting the way that she is but not knowing why. This is very much what splitting can feel like for individuals with BPD (especially undiagnosed BPD!) experiencing splitting - an inability to connect inner rationalizations to outward actions and vice versa, even if you're aware of it and trying to draw that connection.

When this was retconned, it was done specifically by Rachel's mods within her Discord. No other clarification through her socials or through the comic itself was done.

It already wasn't a great look to write a character who was doomed to be villainized with a highly stigmatized mental disorder. It comes across that Rachel only gave her BPD in the first place because she herself had fallen for those misconceptions and went "well if we give her BPD that'll be the reason why she's so mean and nasty all the time, it's the perfect way to make her the obvious bad guy!" But it makes it an even worse look when Rachel bent under the pressure of people discussing how problematic it was (and hoping Minthe would get some kind of redemption which Rachel never planned to give her) and reversed the decision. It really only really made it worse because 1.) you can't retcon out what you clearly intended in the beginning when it's so visibly there (such as through Ep 76) and 2.) it just goes to show that she was never planning on giving Minthe any sort of redemption arc or chance to learn from her actions/heal from her mistakes, she just wanted to use a mental illness she didn't bother to understand or empathize with to make an abuser.

It really just further stigmatizes BPD as a whole because now we only see the absolute nastiest parts often affiliated with BPD (with what remains in the comic pre-retcon) with no closure or resolution or hope for people who either have BPD or want to understand it more.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #antiloreolympus #ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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ghostedcas · 11 months

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i haven't posted anything in a bit and i'm so sorry, i don't want to reveal too much detail at the moment but i've just been having a wacky time mentally to put things simply.

in return, have some (extremely) random personal COD headcannons :))

warnings: mentions of mental health disorders (including eating disorders), mentions of religious trauma, mentions of child abuse/childhood trauma, idk just some sad stuff but also way more happy stuff than sad stuff i swear

a/n: reminder that i've never played the game, a lot of the information i have on the characters is from fan created content and a little bit of research and some things could be slightly inaccurate canon wise. also these are once again personal headcanons, you don't have to agree with them, just pls don't be mean :)

anyway, i apologize that there's not that many :(( this is just a short lil list so there's def gonna be some characters missing and such. but i will have more headcanon posts out another time <3

cod headcanons (very random edition)

könig is a farm boy <3

impovershed farmer's child to soldier pipeline is real

also idk why but i feel like his real name is like eduard german spelling of edward or something

2 sisters (1 older, 1 younger but born the same year as him) and a little brother

soap is an ipad kid (i will be taking no criticisms)

ghost probably has borderline personality disorder but because it doesn't present in the way it stereotypically does for borderline men so he is undiagnosed

was audhd undiagnosed until he was 25

bro was baffled

the development of his bpd was both through the abuse and neglect he faced growing up and the trauma that one can experience from being autistic growing up but left undiagnosed

soap has severe adhd

PRICE LISTENS TO DISCO AND CLASSIC ROCK 🗣️ guilty pleasure is 50's love songs and smooth jazz

gaz tried to establish team game nights

regretted his decision after one game night

both ghost and könig are gymbros but in the disordered way

orthorexic könig

an-bp ghost

every one of those mfs has ptsd and/or cptsd

valeria is a radfem (trans inclusive)

gaz secretly likes a few kpop songs from various different groups (he really likes g-idle for some reason)

catholic trauma soap📢

was probably forced to undergo an "exorcism" at one point

also had a scene phase

emo könig :(( <3

ghost wouldn't necessarily label himself goth but he does enjoy quiet a lot of goth music and some of the fashion intrigues him

gaz used to be a roadman😭 absolutely hates admitting it though bc he's embarrassed about it

idk i feel like horangi would listen to ayesha erotica unironically

ghost listens to lana

i could also see könig having bpd as well (this is mostly feeding off of the obsessive/possessive/jealous headcanon the fandom seems to share, though i do have some other reasons i could go into another time)

can i get an amen for he/they könig??

soap jokingly said he wanted to use she/her pronouns too and now ghost wont stop actually using them seriously and soap doesn't want to correct him

ghost is fully aware it was a joke and he just wants to see how long it'll take soap to correct him

141 all have matching tattoos (including kate)

ghost also listens to hollywood undead

valeria's guilty pleasure music is taylor swift's earlier albums

ghost smoked weed in high school

dream blunt rotation is the 141, könig, horangi and valeria

könig's social anxiety really manifests itself as arrogance and sometimes he hates that

könig and soap are actual pyromaniacs

one of könig's favourite movies is howl's moving castle

that's all i can think of for now,, hope y'all enjoyed🫶

if you did pls gimme a like and send an ask if you want to request anything <3

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danieldeepwebs · 23 days

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misc. ashe hcs in no particular order

she/they transgirl but thats basically canon. started e post trickster

has had that same black beanie for like 10 years. its not fucked up or anything its just really old

keeps things FOREVER. if you look around her room theres toys from when she was a kid and books she finished ages ago that she holds on to

their ROOM. broke teens make do. only one or two posters are actual posters, the rest are just printed out. she puts pretty much anything on her wall like cute tags, stickers, etc. christmas lights up so she doesnt have to turn on the Big Light. not messy but very cluttered. will repurpose anything as a decoration

she doesnt like showing a lot of skin, only her arms if its hot out

warrior cats kid. at one point in her childhood she was reading about one book a day and took about 10 home from the library whenever they went. evolved into a creepypasta phase

selective mutism. has ok days (can talk comfortably with people they are familiar with) and very bad days (will not talk to anyone, might be able to write/type)

goth :) doesn’t wear a lot of makeup (overstimulating also attention grabbing) but she’s into the music and style

her basic outfit formula is big shirt + big skirt. usually solid colors but she likes plaid and stripes also. not big shoes (although heelys are kinda clunky) but big leg warmer. long sleeve under short sleeve if theyre getting a little crazy with it

quite tall, like 5"10. taller than mark by a bit

absurd amount of blankets and pillows. a concerning amount. they dont even bother making the bed or anything bc there is nothing to make. diy padded cell for enrichment

trickster wing wingspan is about 6 feet across and goes down to their calves when theyre folded up. she doesnt have enough control to fly (i dont think she would want too anyway) but she can extend/fold them at will. they twitch a lot when around the wisps though

they got too stressed about picking a name for her dog, so her name is Dog

undiagnosed bpd and maladaptive daydreaming disorder

likes long/lore dense games liked red dead redemption, sdv, persona, etc etc. but will play anything if its with someone else (shooters w dakota, horror/puzzle w will, rpgs w vyncent). she likes animal jam too

would sneak out precanon when they knew mark wouldnt be home for at least a day. she never went too far out, but its how she knows her way around the surrounding area

pre trickster she had some mobility issues with not being able to stand for too long, but didn’t have aids because she wasn’t going anywhere anyways (also she didn’t want to say anything about the pain). post trickster they got a lot worse, so she uses either forearm crutches or a wheelchair

studying criminology and computer science

#but yeah im normal about her and think abt her the regular amount #sorry this got a bit long #jrwi prime defenders #ashe winters

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feastfic · 2 months

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I had a moment and wrote down a whole lotta nonsense with Popcorn and I accidentally made myself feel really hard with it so. I might as well haha

Tw for drug use and (NONGRAPHIC) mentions of sex.

Okay so, where to begin hah. A lot of this was spawned from indulgent things and so I'm going to try and reword a lot of what I wrote down to make it more general.

• To me she is the pinnacle of "making everything a joke to push away the fact that she is deeply fucked up". To her it's just easier to never address anything and play it off as just a bit or something unimportant if somehow, someway, someone approaches her about it.

• Her avoidance has lead to an unstable relationship with substance use — it's a cycle of getting high and getting a whitey, and then getting hungover and being back at the base of "feeling the things she literally just got high over to not handle". Keeping herself busy with hosting (as precarious as it is, given that her contestants aren't exactly the most empathetic bunch about her case) is one of the only means for her to dodge herself, in a sense. So it sure isn't a good alternative, but it's better than y'know, whiting out...right?

• Literally everything she has is undiagnosed and she isn't about to get her shit checked out. (ADHD, BPD, MDD and Crohn's.) The majority of the folks around her aren't really versed in Why she decides to act like she does; they just think she's egotistical, big-headed and a dick overall.

• If for whatever reason somehow there was someone who was wholeheartedly genuine with themselves and with everyone around them...she'd actually kind of hate them. Literally they could do nothing wrong but she would be skeeved about the fact that they can just essentially gallivant around with their heart on their sleeve. It's like an anti-her, you get me.

• To add onto the last point, she's made herself so distant that if there was anyone that would try to actually talk to her and y'know, be a basic human being (or, well, object being) she wouldn't know how to reciprocate that in the slightest. Because she does want closeness but that kind of thing is deeply unsettling to her, and she would engage in what she guises as just "casual" sex; to her it's the only feasible way to actually figure out how exactly she feels about someone. It's just an empty feeling spawned from an innate guilt at this being the only way she can achieve basic positive social interactions and anger — less at herself and instead projecting it onto the other person for, in a twisted and cruelly roundabout way: leading her into this situation in the first place.

• She doesn't really cry — it's just...hard for her to be able to. "Feeling miserable" isn't how she'd describe it but there's no real way to really say it otherwise. Pretty much everything gets bottled up, both good and bad, and it can sometimes (unfortunately) seep through into her actual hosting job.

• If somehow she came across Airy, he would genuinely be one of the only people she could tolerate. He's so similar and yet could not be more different. Both apathetic but in his case he just... legitimately doesn't really seem to express that he cares. It's like if Popcorn were a firecracker and Airy was a bundle of wet sticks — they can exist next to each other without friction that would spark either of them.

• On MUCH much lighter notes: somehow she managed to get her 3D glasses to be prescription. She cannot see without those things but also you just Cannot take them off; if you lift them up there's just an endless amount of others underneath the pair(s).

#sorry haha she's just. means a lot to me ...#'its showvember its not that serious' you might be saying. look thru this account i make everything serious <3 /LHLHLHLH #showvember #showvember popcorn #tw drugs #// drugs #ask to tag #also the airy thing was lowkey based off the aircorn stuff i see lol. i dont go there myself but i do enjoy the idea of them being #unconventional friends :) its nice to think about #long post

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tabithwaslost · 11 months

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idk if this is a thing you'd be comfy with doing hcs for but neurodivergency hcs? as someone with AuDHD I see a lot of my own foibles and traits in a lot of aa characters

Of course I can!! I'm neurodivergent myself! [I'm someone with AuDHD as well and I've dealt with other mental issues.]

I'll be adding things like attachment issues and anger issues as well. I don't really want to give everybody ADHD and autism though.

This is gonna be a lot... so buckle up.

Miles Edgeworth: PTSD and Autism [Fun fact: Miles is canonically autistic.]

Phoenix Wright: Anxiety and Attachment Issues.

Apollo Justice: Autism and Social Anxiety. He is getting better from Social Anxiety.

Trucy Wright: AuDHD

Athena Cykes: AuDHD

Simon Blackquill: Undiagnosed, untreated Depression and Anger Issues.

Klavier Gavin: Combined ADHD, PTSD, Depression, Body Dysmorphia and dealt with Anxiety for years.

Rayfa Padma Khura'in: Undiagnosed PTSD and ASD

Maya Fey: Autism and undiagnosed Anxiety and Somniphobia in the 1st trilogy era. She is getting better. [Fun fact: Maya is also canonically autistic.]

Dahlia Hawthorne: Psychopathy and Narcissism.

Iris Hawthorne: No mental issues but gets really sad when you mention her past, Dahlia, etc.

Pearl Fey: Just a happy cinnamon roll. Had somniphobia when she was younger but she is better now.

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: Anger issues and OCD.

Kristoph Gavin: Mild Autism, Narcissism and is a Sociopath.

Thalassa Gramarye: Mild Autism [Autism runs in the Gramarye, Fey and Cykes families.]

Metis Cykes: Social Anxiety.

Dick Gumshoe: No mental issues, just a happy and loyal pal.

Aura Blackquill: Anger Issues and BPD.

Mia Fey: Bipolar and dealt with Social Anxiety for years.

Lana Skye: Bipolar and had major anxiety for when her and Ema's parents died.

Ema Skye: Major Anxiety and ADHD.

Franziska von Karma: OCD, dealt with Anorexia Nervosa and body image issues for years because she felt the need to be "perfect". She still has some eating issues and doesn't really have an appetite.

Amara Sigatar Khura'in: Paranoia and Panic Disorder. She does her best to not panic publicly and that's kinda why she doesn't go out much.

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wearethewinx · 1 year

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I didn't want to title this 'Diversity Scorecard For My AU' but. that's kind of what it is fjdkafj;das

Bloom: bi lesbian, autistic (diagnosed). her autism contributes to her feeling a little disconnected from the modern idea of sexuality as a thing you Are, and she relates a lot more to more historical ideas of sexuality as a thing you Do

Stella: pansexual, ADHD (undiagnosed)

Musa: arospec and ace, which separate from but also tangled up with her reluctance to be vulnerable and form bonds

Aisha: lesbiab. oldest sister disorder despite having no siblings (diagnosed)

Flora: Token Heterosexual (in translation) and intersex (in translation). 'intersex' and 'sexual orientation' are not concepts in the same way on Linphea, but she explains herself with those terms off-planet

Tecna: brain: autistic (diagnosed), gender: autistic, sexuality: autistic. she thinks Timmy is hot af and that's all she needs to know

Roxy: trans girl, and like. vaguely aspec but questioning

(specialists and witches under the cut)

Sky: cishet, asshole (diagnosed)

Brandon: WHORE (affectionate)

Timmy: "obviously I'm straight." "but you've been with multiple men??" "you got me there!"

Riven: gay (undiagnosed) autistic (undiagnosed) asshole (diagnosed)

Helia: "who are we to place labels on the infinite complexity of our souls? the vanity! do sponges in the ocean define themselves by where their ghostly clouds of seed come to rest? do stars in the sky sort themselves by what color they shine? how we reduce ourselves by participating in thi

Nabu: I'm actually reneging on him being a trans girl I changed my mind. idk what this guys deal is but I think he's like. heteroflexible

Icy: Mean LesbianTM, not very self-aware about it though

Darcy: Mean BisexualTM, does not feel romantic love, DOES feel romantic hate

Stormy: Dragon AsexualTM, got a touch of the ADHD as well. What is a gender. very panromantic tho imo

Lucy: trans girl, Gay (blanket term) and tbh maybe BPD?

Mirta: literally while writing this post I abruptly started getting powerful transmasc vibes from Mirta. this calls for further research

#winx club #winx #lost planet au

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slexenskee · 2 years

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Re: Does Shouto have his scar/what happened to Rei in May Death Never Stop You

TL;DR - Shouto does not have his scar but Rei is still in the hospital. Okay and now for the long version -

So we don’t know the specifics of Rei’s mental disorders in canon, but judging from her actions I imagine there’s a whole laundry list of cluster a, b, and c disorders in there to certain degrees. For this fic I’m assuming her particular cocktail is bipolar disorder (mania and depression) with psychotic features (delusions, hallucinations), avoidant/dependent disorders, PPD and generalized anxiety.

Rei’s first born is a really weird fucking baby. He’s basically an alien. He doesn’t really cry or make much noise, and he has a terribly unnerving and unblinking stare. Sometimes it seems like he just sees right through her, judging her and finding her wanting and deciding to dismiss her from his perception of reality. Or at least that’s how she sees it - is it actually? No because Gojo’s awareness hasn’t even come in yet, but the whole ‘old soul in a new body’ is still making him a weird infant. Also the whole body/soul thing in JJK is very ??? which means its possible Gojo’s soul has always been in his body, and so has his cursed energy (even if his 6 eyes and his awareness didn’t fully manifest until he was about 4 or so), so even in utero he would have had cursed energy, and who knows how that would react in the body of a human without any cursed energy to speak of? In JJK even normal humans have trace amounts of cursed energy even if they can’t see curses, which would explain how sorcerers come from non-sorcerer families. But MHA has zero cursed energy, and the 6 eyes have evolved to see quirk energy. Idk what that would do to Rei, but nothing good, I imagine. I wouldn’t say her mental issues are entirely Gojo’s fault, since a lot of that is hereditary and environmental, but it certainly didn’t help.

In a normal person it would probably give mood swings, more depressive episodes, and other symptoms that we’ve seen in JJK for normal people who are unknowingly cursed - anxiety, sudden nervousness, bad dreams, that kind of stuff. But because Rei already had plenty of undiagnosed mental health disorders, it sort of compounded everything.

Rei is already under pressure just by the nature of her marriage, which I head-canon as her agreeing to by pure technicality of the legal definition of ‘consent’, but in reality was very much so caused by the pressure her parents, society and endeavor himself was exerting on her. Basically she made herself believe it was what she wanted because everyone else seemed to think it was the smart choice - marry a rich and handsome famous hero who has offered to take care of your family and you financially for the rest of your days, in a society that’s already misogynistic? I imagine her friends in school and just everyone in her everyday life even beyond her parents was putting pressure on her, maybe not intentionally, but exerting their opinions on her nonetheless.

This is a lot of stress and environmental pressure for everyone, but again Rei already had BPD and was more susceptible to these kinds of changes, and never got the help she needed to deal with any of it. In line with cultural values, it probably never occurred to her to voice her struggles aloud or seek help for them.

She’s alone, suffering under undiagnosed PPD, can’t bond with her baby in any capacity, feels like a failure, and it’s just a huge spiral that gets worse and worse until it eventually breaks.

I imagine she didn’t start having more violent/hysteric attributes to her psychotic features until this point in her life, and they would have scared her. I have to imagine this is canon, bc otherwise I don’t know how she ended up going from a mild woman to having a violent episode and scarring Shouto.

She’s also not taking any medication whatsoever, and has never been diagnosed or seen a doctor for her mental health issues. Untreated BPD is basically a recipe for disaster in this instance, but instead of harming her children like in canon, the coin flipped on the other side and she acted on her depressive side and not her manic one, and she makes an attempt on her own life instead. Frankly its unrealistic that she hadn’t injured anyone else in one of her manic episodes beforehand, like a maid or one of her own kids, but that’s where the avoidant distorder comes in, as she’s always been more of a recluse and more likely to hurt herself in a manic episode than someone else. But anyway this is enough to finally get psychiatric help involved.

Again, in canon she’s seen to be pretty cordoned off from life and has been in a psych ward for most of Shouto’s life - that wouldn’t make sense unless she had pretty uncontrollable violent tendencies and exhibited an inability to deal with stressors in regular life, so I have to imagine her particular cocktail of disorders is extreme and was probably already there and got worse due to the environmental factors of her marriage.

To be specific I’ve slotted her psych ward admittance into the timeline to be right around the time that Gojo confronts Endeavor in the dojo. Honestly maybe even like a week or two before it. At that point in time Gojo is spending like 80% of his time away from his own house and honestly has no idea it even happened. In his POV in ch1 he mentions how odd it is that Rei isn’t in the house when he stops by because she’s always there, then he’s distracted when he notices Endeavor and Shouto.

#tw: sui mention #fic notes #fic may death never stop you #mdnsy FAQ

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foxytgirltrash · 3 months

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If I were to describe exactly the way I feel about you, I'd lose myself in the chapters.

Horny blog is main.

sadsargirlhours is alt.

New fetish for people who talk to me when I'm sad. Minors DNI, DMs open to all others.

I'm really not sure what people talk about on here. But this is an attempt at a bio.

Name: Blaire

Age: 24

Birthday: 02/17/00

Height: 6'

Current weight: 154

HRT anniversary: January 1st

--

Description:

A soft-hearted, loving and forgiving to a fault transgender e-girl with an obsession for numbers and a love of words. Computer Scientist is the class archetype in which she strives to achieve, and she's highly motivated to please.

Her life is centered by whoever she falls in love with. Exceptionally horny, and requires sex as a form of therapy. Loves being a toy for those who love her, and has a hard time coming to terms with her interest in being petpilled. Very kinky with a desire to be bonded up (also bonded with) and used as a toy for a Good Boy™ to ride and get their horny selves off to. Only into t4t as a result of traumatic experiences, and also very much only into recieving when it's with someone she loves and has already had a lot of sex with.

She also melts in the arms of those she adores.

(Her streak of tangents within conversation is unmatched when fully comfortable speaking. Be careful with this.)

Has a biological mouth fixation. (Nerves are connected to all pleasurepoints)

Mental disorders and things to watch for:

BPD (diagnosed)

ADHD (diagnosed)

Autism (undiagnosed, shows stigma, comorbidity rate says likely.)

-

If you stop talking to her suddenly, it may take a while for her to get the message. Please be clear so she isn't just hanging around for nobody.

She has S.I., it is likely a dramatization, but her interest in the topic is concerning to herself.

Don't ask about her past. She will absolutely traumadump and say too much if pried.

She also may be slightly regressive.

-

Good touch spots:

Head and Face

Neck

Torso (excluding abdomen and areola area)

Side of leg

-

Pleasure spots:

Neck, Head, and Face.

Inner Thigh.

Torso

Crotch

Soles of Feet

Mouth

-

Things I like hearing:

Puppyparts

"You fucking belong to me."

Princess

"What a pretty little whore..."

-

Kinks and Aesthetic

Upon wardrobe change, She will be wearing primarily techwear and cyberpunk outfits. She already has a few pieces, but is working on getting more as electrical outfits are expensive and usually custom made. (By her)

Favorite kinks.

Cumplay, bondage, petting, choking, forced intoxication (recieving exclusive), degradation, mutual amelioration, footplay, (mild) bullying, face touching, tickling (esp while tied), marking, knifeplay (ASK, THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO FREE USE.), noncon free-use, saliva, hair-pulling, sweet and dark scents. Forced-Feminization 💉 , girlish outfits, tableturning, vaginal (giving), s&m, muscle (torso hnng), Sucking (giving and recieving), tantric sex, petting (pleasurespot), marriage, oral(giving and recieving), FRESH SWEAT!!!

Yes-list kinks:

All in fav, Anal (giving), forced exercise, Aesthetic Genderswap, domming, switching, crying, roughness, knifeplay (giving), massaging, spit-swapping, Lima Syndrome

Maybe.

Tangent: Unfortunately due to my oral fixations, I have a difficult time with musk as the texture is usually off despite being mentally into it.

Musk, unshowered scents (sweat post 12 hours), Anal (recieving), mtf (trauma), female (trauma), bad end, Stockholm Syndrome, Stalking (recieving) (moves up to fav if done by romantic interest.), hysterics, hysteria, hyper dominance,

No. Not ever.

Detransition, unholy trinity (does this even need to be said?), males, stabbing (knifeplay and bad end rltd), sub drop, dom drop, ageplay

--- tangent: I love helping dom drop. I'm foolish though.

Favorite Quote: "People fucking suck!!!" -Kier

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#t4t #Bio

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usaigi · 10 months

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💕🏳️‍🌈 For the media hyperfixation asks!

YES THIS IS THE ONE I WANTED ILY TY

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Mateo Murdock 🥺 He's cute, angsty, funny, a hot mess, witty, mommy and daddy issues and has the mental illness sparkle ✨ Something about a character so filled with rage and hurt and so dedicated to help others. Mhm martyrs.. He and Loki were my first MCU blorbos and while I still like Loki, he's lost his blorbo status in my heart. He's my number one.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you? (I got this one twice so I'm going to split up my response, here's the other half)

Heroes for Hire + contractors MK and Layla & Kingpin Felicia Hardy

Colleen - Her mom is Okinawan w/ connection to K'un-Lun/the mystical cities/Seven Capital Cities of Heaven and dad is born and raised in Hawaii with chinese, filipino, korean, japanese, white, hawaiian ancestry. Colleen being Okinawan and growing up in Hawaii exposed her to how indigenous people are treated like second class citizens on their own land and how outsiders/colonizers exploit the land and its resources and that why she's so protective of the K'un-Lun/mystical cities. Also she's a lesbian for Misty

Danny - Half white, half chinese. Some family and business partners and other rich people from Rand's side thought Danny's mom was a foreign gold digger but her family is China Rich™ British boarding school, met Wendell at fancy Ivy League etc. and still not "like them" So when Danny was born, he got exposed to a lot of racism and specifically Sinophobia/anti-Chinese comments all through childhood

And ADHD King 🏃 undiagnosed though, all his sifus thought he just liked to jump.

Claire - Afro-Latina (canon) Did I make this up or does Claire talk about experiencing a lot of anti-blackness growing up? Anyways, if that's canon, cool!(not that anti-blackness in the latine community is cool but for Netflix to acknowledge that's something afro-Latinos often experience) If not, it's canon now.

Matt - Mexican Matt etc etc. i know u know this by now but also trans masc Matt who thought he used to be a lesbian and is now a straight cis passing white passing guy despite being disabled poc and queer and the identity and religious meltdown he must have had when he went to college. Also I changed my mind, I do like BPD Matt

Jessica - wonder bread white but she's like self aware about it. She brings a store bought cake to the office potluck. She keeps her mouth closed when the others wash their chicken in the sink. PTSD is canon but I also think she has DPDR. Also Bi.

send me a ask about my media hyperfixation

#daredevil #matt murdock #jessica jones #claire temple #danny rand #iron fist #colleen wing #the defenders #heroes for hire #usaigi's hfh au #usaigi headcanons #usaigi speaks #marvel #asks #ask game #blitzy-wing

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shhisp · 7 months

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i like how manic u and your gf make jake, do you have any other mental illness theories to feed my brain

:O thank you!!!!! It makes so much sense doesn't it. He's insane!!!!!!!!!

As far as hills I'm willing to die on I personally read self-hating man with NPD Dirk as a more or less textual fact, as well as Jake being accidentally written with quiet BPD as, like, just a thing that Is. This goes for their splinters and any AU versions I have for them as well, though I also tend to write Dirk with (obviously) ASPD traits because he has them and it is glorious. Comorbidity for the win!

Also they are both autistic, Jake probably has some undiagnosed attention disorder as well. I cannot imagine anybody in hs actually being professionally diagnosed, which is funny. I'm not sure if all of them are set in stone for me but some other characters that are giving borderline for better or for worse would be John (for better), Eridan (for worse), Aranea (not very textual at all I just like a blabbermouth girl with BPD), Lynera (see Aranea), Nepeta (cute), Kankri (good lord), and I also think it would be fucking hilarious if Jude started developing signs of it from the apple of borderline autism falling straight down onto his head. If I'm feeling spicy I'll give all of the Harlenglishcrockerberts a flavor of borderline insanity though.

My girlfriend can just retweet her takes if she feels like it on her special mental illnesses but ASPD Sollux is very important to me (and Cronus. And Dammek. And Lanque. And Dave. Tyzias. Equius? And a lot of others that I don't think about often enough.) Less textual and more "I like this :3"

I like a lot of things :3 but yes these are what I like THE MOST! And likewise I don't care for takes that are like, batshit opposite to them, but Homestuck is just like that and I cannot be arsed to argue about something that matters this little. Like what you like and project what you project ^_^

#mail #meristuck

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your-absent-father · 9 months

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Happy STS!

Choose two of your OCs from any of your WIPs to switch places, so they're now playing each other's roles in the story and/or life in general (i.e. two MCs, hero and villain, etc.) (Feel free to make modifications as needed). How would they cope? Would they survive and/or thrive? Would they not last a day?

Hey and thanks for this ask! and happy... day lmao.

I am using this as an excuse to swap all of my main girlies with each other with some additional so it will make sense so... Thanks for this question from while back and sorry for the long answer lmao.

I used a random generator to choose which one goes to which one and these are... hilarious

Lila in the vanishing act

Omg, first of all, she wouldn't be sad at her mom dying like Amanda because Lila's mom sucks, so there's a harder possibility she would even go to fairground Moirai, the circus it all takes in place. Honestly, she has gone trough so many realities, she wouldn't be such a mess that Amanda is and would solve it in like 50 pages without trusting any rat man with an obsession with her mom.

Beatrix in Mika Connelly vs the power of love

Look, Mika and Beatrix are similar characters that would like each other in this bantering frenemies type of way, but there is a one key difference between Mika and Beatrix which is that Beatrix has undiagnosed bpd and in fact uses sex as one of her coping mechanisms. That's the long way of saying that Beatrix would fuck the cupid, there's no doubt about it.

Amanda in All the great love stories

She would never leave the tower. She would be so paranoid of the idea of leaving that she would stay there in like centuries unless someone comes to rescue her.

Mika in False gods

There would have been no scandal, let me tell you. Mika would have seen through all the mafioso's bullshit so Aurora Four would have gone indie. Also because Mika wouldn't be fucking Stevie, there would be lot less tension.

-----

I urge other people to do a generated swap. This was so fun lmao.

#writeblr #writing #asks #wip #wip: atgls #wip: fg #wip: circus moirai #wip: mc vs pol

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cassandrattpd · 10 months

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even though 1989 is my least favorite album, it came out when @damn-its7am and i lived together. right after i graduated from college, moved out of my parents' house, and across the country from arizona to illinois. most of my distinct memories of listening to it are during winter driving (which was traumatic at first for someone who learned to drive in phoenix) and that is why it will always be a winter album to me.

a lot of feelings 1989tv is digging up under the cut

and that entire period in my life is......fraught. i was finally free (somewhat) of the weight and trauma of living at home that i had desperately been hoping to escape for so long. i was with my best friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was happy and excited but also struggling with mental illness the likes of which i wouldn't even begin to get a grasp on until years later when i was diagnosed with bpd. it somehow felt like finally getting to have positive experiences more often made those negative feelings sting a thousand times worse. i couldn't find a job for six months!!!! i felt like a failure. and when i finally did (when haylie got me a job, really) then i had to contend with having a real life job for the first time!!!!! but i had someone i was excited to come home to and who loved me and who i felt like i could finally be a real person with. then i had to contend with the extreme jealousy that came with her good and healthy traits of: having other friends, happening to be falling in love at the same time, having school AND a job to be focusing on instead of spending time with me (please note: i know these are NOT rational things to experience jealousy over, it was the undiagnosed and untreated bpd, we have since discussed this period in our lives and are better for it, i feel very grateful to have a friend who has empathy for my mental health struggles 💖, but i am feeling weirdly emotional about 1989 right now, thus it is being aired out in this post lmao - if you experience these kind of extreme emotions over your relationships like.......seek help, not being facetious, i say this with love and empathy) (also note, said person she was falling in love with is now her husband and we love him, we always have, a very rare good man - he was never the problem) (he and i also have in common that we can do a smashing dennis quaid impression)

i was also contending with like.....the fact that my mom was dying......and that i just left. and i was mad at her. and i felt so guilty. but i also didn't want to talk to her bc her brain was so messed up that she wasn't even really my mom anymore. and maybe it wasn't even that i was mad at her, maybe it was that it was too painful to answer the phone and try to carry on a conversation with someone who couldn't string two lucid thoughts together. but looking back on it now, the lucid thought WAS just im sick and im scared and i don't know what's going on and i want to talk to my baby and to this day that stills eats away at me and makes me feel physically ill with hatred for myself.

it felt like i was in a freefall and still to this day i don't know if it was a good or a bad thing, but probably both. at least i jumped, at least i did something with my life and that was better than the stagnation and depression i was in before. i was suicidal and i had more anxiety than i had ever had in my life......but it also kinda finally felt like there were glimmers of hope. and the everyday of my life, when i wasn't living in my emotions, was good. I know the way im talking about it sounds so terrible but i look back on this time with such nostalgia as well. and it really was a first step toward a healing journey that im probably going to be on my entire life. it just feels like SO critical and crucial to who i am as a person - and 1989 was the soundtrack over all of it.

i think that is why i am just so in love with the tv cover and her smile and it being the FIRST album she's smiling on. she's reclaiming that time in her life with a breath of freedom and peace and looking back on it happy and triumphant and PROUD of herself.

fuck yeah. you did that. me too.

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multi-royalty-arc · 2 years

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~~Montgomery Sass~~

Aka.. let’s talk about Madisons (probably undiagnosed) BPD from someone with BPD.

Madison is Canon very rejection sensitive and fears abandonment heavily. She’s quick to tell someone to just go ahead and leave but we see in apocalypse she’s actually sad when she feels like everyone has forgotten her, and it’s also shown when she proposed her and Zoe share Kyle, but ends up being left out.

Madison has never held a stable relationship OR a friendship.. she’s so quick to quit because if she quits first, then people won’t leave her.

A lot of her attitude is a show, she’s a movie star who never really got any positive attention from her parents. They used her for fame and money and that was it.

It’s a toss up between who her favourite person could be between Zoe and Cordelia, Zoe is on her level and madison take it upon herself to be the leader, and make sure Zoe ‘settles’ in. However cordelia is very much so the only R E A L mother figure Madison has ever seen, and we see her do a lot to try and seek her approval… between the lines of her bad girl..

I DONT NEED ANYBODY

….Act that she has going on. It’s made clear that she D O E S and wants people to be there for her and recognise her good doings among her bad. Her moods swing in an instant as soon as she feels threatened, especially by sense of failure or FEELING like no one else believes in her. She doesn’t pass all of the seven wonders and she’s so quick on her exit because she doesn’t feel like there’s a reason for her to stay if she’s not good enough to be the supreme.

We also hear about Madison’s past with addiction with drugs and alcohol at such a young age. But she needed a way to cope right? Being the bread winner for her family she had a lot on her shoulders. But she does a lot of reformation and we see that through out the show along side her EXTREMELY.. impulsive behaviour and hot headed anger. She sets a curtains on fire because a boy rejected her, she puts Misty in a coffin because she unbeknowingly threatens her safety, in A) becoming supreme and B) just getting attention from cordelia.

And instead of feelings like she can talk about her feelings?? which shes never been allowed to do, she acts impulsively.

We also see her recklessness at the party, she finds herself too deep in a situation she thought she had control over and is then embarrassed when Zoe tried to tell cordelia what happened and WHY madison flipped the bus.

We see madisons Great Depression after her brush with death. She just wants to feel SOMETHING, and if that be pain then so be it, she talks through feelings of emptiness and numbness during her monologue. She’s lost touch with reality.

But what can you expect… when you’ve just dies and come back to life.

This is just a very brief overview of Madison’s behaviours, she’s a good person underneath all of her armour, we see that when she offers to help Violet before she leave the murder house. Madison aside from all the shitty things she did, had a lot of shitty things happen to her and she was doing her best. I think given the chance and a safe space that was less hectic we would have see a lot more of her softer side.

#ahs headcanons #headcanon #ahs coven #ahs #american horror story #madison montgomery #multi royalty #multi royalty ooc #multi royalty edits

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crescenthoax · 1 year

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I can't get Annika out of my head (i mean who can) but i've been dying to know this because listen. I feel like there are a lot of undiagnosed mental illness in asoiaf which of course because medieval times lol but when i read annika i think a lot about borderline personality and eating disorders so i wonder if you ever thought of that when writing her? I feel like not only she sees things in black and white, she gets too lost in one problem and when she finally gets it over she finds another thing to hyperfixiate and overthink, and most of this things i gotta admit are all in her head (i am #team she misunderstood aegon's words about their son's blood and i stand by that) and cmon she HAS an eating disorder, when i first read she was grieving and did not eat i thought no big deal but then you emphasized so much on how skinny she was and how skinny she likes to be... besides during her whole pregnancy she complied about being fat and feeling terrible and she was embarrassed for asking for another serve of pie. and when she bodyshames cressida???? yeah no that's rexie behavior for real. (((i do not mean to offend anybody who deals with those things, i myself have had an ed for example and i just see a lot of myself in annika)))

Tbh, I’ve ALWAYS pictured Annika as a girl with many body image issues specially because throughout her entire life her value has been measured in either her looks or her last name. On one hand, she’s a beautiful girl and that fact has brought her pain, it’s natural for her to reject that part of her and try to destroy herself as a punishment to her father even. And I believe she finds comfort on starving because as a Lady everything she ate was supervised by her septas and nannies, and when she just stops eating it gives her this sensation of control over herself and even to manipulare others –Aegon telling her she only likes Willa because she doesn’t really make sure she’s eaten, I mean that’s kind of true because she for the first times understands she can stop eating if she wants to and no one can force her to do it because she’s now queen but also, it’s probably the first time Aegon looks worried about her. And she likes it. She likes to worrying people. Regarding her inability to see things in black or white, I think she tends to make a mountain out of a molehill because she doesn't know how to deal with the negative feelings that situations provoke in her. That's also where her response of stopping to eat comes from, it’s her copying mechanism. When things don't go as planned, she becomes desperate. She needs to have control over everything, even over how others perceive her physically, and when she loses control her entire system collapses… That’s why she’s so afraid of loving and losing again. I don't know much about bpd, so I wouldn't dare say she suffers from one, but Annika is definitely narcissistic and has disordered eating behaviors for sure.

#annika lannister #fanfic #aegon x oc

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