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glamandgrace · 6 years

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Birthday Thoughts...Grab a snack, I have a lot to say!

Hello all! Thank you for bringing yourself to my cozy little space. I pray this little blog of mine finds you in the best of spirits and joy, and if not I pray that reading these words of mine brings a bit of warmth and sunshine to your heart, if only for a moment.

With every passing birthday that I am blessed by our good Lord to have, I always feel that it’s necessary to reflect over the past year in my life. Was this past year of my life full of meaningful significance that God would be proud of? Was I present enough? Thankful enough? Was I kind to others? Was I kind to MYSELF? Was my confidence secured in Jesus or more on the things of this world? What were my favorite memories? What broke my heart this past year? What challenges did I face & how were they overcome? Were my relationships with Jesus/my fiancé/family flourishing and strong? Were my desired goals achieved? If not, why did I allow myself not to achieve them? Did I set an amazing example for my children and teach them valuable lessons or did I make it that much closer for them to need therapy?! ***Cue the magically beautiful sound of more chilled rosé perfection pouring into my wine glass! Hey don’t judge...sometimes it’s the best survival tactic!

I mean, I could go on and on honestly. In the words of the 90′s songstress Lauryn Hill: “How you gonna win when you ain't right within?” What used to be a catchy song lyric I used to naively sing as a pre-teen now holds deeper meaning and truth as a woman in her early 30′s. Are you okay with YOU at the end of each day? Am I proud of the Godly woman I am becoming? Of course I will always be a work in progress and never stop learning and that’s a beautiful thing. Our Lord knows this. He knows of my shortcomings and is eager to help me through them. He has always known this about me and loves me no matter what. As long as I keep Him close and keep our relationship #1, everything else in my life will fall into place where He wants it to be. It will never be “Easy Street” though. I know God produces challenges in our lives to strengthen endurance for our Faith in Him. It’s all for our good and His glory. My church pastor always says that we are all either finished coming out of a storm, currently enduring a storm, or about to go into a storm, and this couldn’t be more true. The silver lining in all of the “mess” that this world brings is that whatever situation I am currently enduring, I have peace knowing that I will get through it with the power of His grace and mercy. There is no other way to rise above life’s tragedies without Him in my opinion.

Want proof? This past Christmas season my hero, my heart, my comfort that is my grandma Celia went up to Heaven to be with our Lord after years of battling dementia, osteoporosis, and diabetes. I remember getting that midnight phone call from my aunt and cousins about her passing. It happened about a week after Chris proposed to me so to have this blissful, cloud-nine euphoria suddenly be put to a shocking halt with tragic news is so surreal. I remember being in such a haze and so numb during the process of helping my family plan her funeral. I was even asked to do her makeup, which I was beyond honored to do. It wasn’t until the evening when I stood in front of that podium to pour out the words I wrote for her eulogy that I broke down in tears. My tears were a mix of sad and happy oddly enough. Yes, it was heart wrenching to know that I will never get to physically hug her again, or hear that infectious laugh of hers, or have one last deep, meaningful conversation with her again on this Earth. I do know that she is where she always knew she would end up though. My grandma is finally in the peaceful presence of our majestic Lord and free from the suffering of this world...and knowing this makes me smile.

This amazing woman helped raise me when my childhood was filled with so much fear, instability, and divorce in my family’s household. My grandma and grandpa were like this warm, cozy, safe, loving bubble that I always wanted to be surrounded in. My grandma made sure I knew all about Jesus and that I knew how to pray, and that we made it to church almost every single Sunday to praise Him. I think the most beautiful memory of her that stays engraved in my mind is waking up in the middle of the night to find her sitting at the edge of her bed praying. Her shadowed-silohuette in the darkness and the faint whispers of her praying to Jesus remains so powerful to me. You never actually “get through” the passing away of a loved one in my opinion. There will never come a day where I will easily say, ”Okay, I’m finished being sad. I’m moving on”. No way. I always have sporadic moments where the ache in my heart hits me harder like whenever I hear “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” or watch Breakfast At Tiffany’s, or smell the scent of honeysuckle. Or when I see a little bird perched outside on our porch...my grandma adored birds! It’s like a sign from her from heaven saying “I love you and thank you for thinking of me”.

I will always have an ache in my heart that longs for her, but I have so many beautiful memories with her that are happy and overcome that pain. Most importantly, I have God right here alongside me carrying me through it all. Towards the last years of my grandma’s life, I was prominently absent. I always told myself, “This weekend I will finally make it out to see grandma” but sadly it was always pushed back. The last time I saw my grandmother alive was in the hospital six months before she passed away. Due to her dementia, she had no idea who I was. She thought she was meeting a stranger for the first time. However, as heartbreaking as that visit was, she still had a joyous spirit about her that she had always possessed throughout her life. A child-like wonder and pure happiness deep in her soul. And I KNOW that there is no way she could still obtain that in her state of health without God.

I have so many more testimonies and proof that our God is alive and thriving that have occurred in my life. I will save more of those for later on though or else we would be here for hours and I know we all have lives to get on with and errands to run! I know I could be folding that basket of laundry in the corner that has been there for two days but I chose to write in my blog instead lol. Each year as I grow older my heart feels more fulfilled, more at peace, more thankful for this life that God has blessed me with. It’s more than I deserve. I could never earn all of the precious mercy and grace He gives freely to me, and for this I will spend my life living for His glory and teaching my children to do the same. So Happy Birthday to me and cheers to my never-ending learning process of just how insanely abundant Jesus’ love for me (and for You!) runs deep. I’m going to go have a slice of birthday cake now!

#happybirthday #jesus #growth

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our-heather-universe-blog · 7 years

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Life Story (super long post)

I am the youngest of four who grew up not knowing that her family didn’t have a lot of disposable income. I naturally thought that sausages 3 times a week was just how people ate. I had parents who loved me, and older siblings who mostly looked out for me.

We are a big family. Both in the sense that I have a number of cousins, but also from a weight perspective. My fathers side would all be considered at least overweight if not obese or morbidly obese. This includes me. I have been overweight I think for my entire life. I have been on a diet for at least the last 20 years, which considering that is more than half my life is telling that I don’t have the best relationship with food despite constantly trying new things and riding the wave of success and then sudden gain.

In my early 20s I lost 33kgs in 5 months on a horribly restrictive and unpleasant ‘diet’ but inevitably gained it back and more. I think it’s a common story for a lot of people who have struggled with this in their lives. Since I have gained and lost the same 30kgs. Sad but true. Lots of life stuff happened between then and now, mostly boring but little things may pop up as I like to tell stories. Many embarrassing, hopefully funny at least.

Fast forward to 2017.

2017 has been quite a hard time for me and my husband.

It started out well. I got serious at the gym and lost 17kg on a 12 week challenge. My food was on point, I was making a lot of progress at the gym. However the stress of finances was starting to wear us down. T had been out of work for 10 months the year before last and we were finally getting our footing back, but we had built a massive house for what would turn out to be just the 2 of us. It was a money pit and it was putting a lot of stress on us and our relationship. So we made the big decision to sell and downsize. We thought that this would solve all of our problems and be the best thing for us.

Now for those who live in Australia will know that in Melbourne house prices are going higher and higher. So for sellers this is a great thing. We sold the house within a month of being on the market and we got a great price for it….however buying a new home would prove to be much more difficult and stressful than anticipated. Now I wont go into the boring details of how all of this went, but since I am now not currently homeless its safe to say we bought a lovely 3 bedroom townhouse in an up and coming area. The downside is that there are tenants and a contract that meant that we are unable to move in until April 2018.

Cue living at my sisters in a one bedroom bungalow out the back with a 35kg dog and a moody cat. It was a wonderful offer and I don’t know what I would have done without it, but anyone who has had to live with family as an adult will know its not ideal. Its hard on all involved and requires a lot of compromise to make things work.

In August T lost his last remaining grandparent. He travelled back to our home town in WA to say goodbye to his grandmother and to support his parents. In September I lost my first grandparent, Nanna. She had been declining with dementia for years but it was still a shock to the system when it happened. More stress, more eating, more upheaval. By this time my weight had crept up to having only lost 15kgs of the 22kg I had lost earlier in the year. I found myself making excuses and then getting upset with myself for not caring enough. I lied to myself and said that as long as I kept going to the gym then everything would be ok.

In October my personal trainer decided to sell his half of the gym to focus on his own life. Now for most this would just mean getting a new trainer. For me he was someone who pulled me into line, who listened to all of my questions and rants and generally the person who kept me going. Now I have a new trainer but I’m still trying to get used to him. But he also has told me that he is thinking of leaving the gym due to issues with the new boss.

Finally (Im hoping nothing else happens this year), I got bad news from back home from my father. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on his 71st birthday. With a very high mortality rate, we are looking at the last year or 2 of his life. Considering Steve Jobs, someone with unlimited resources couldn’t beat this, I don’t have the highest hopes for man in his 70s who has not lead the healthiest of lives. I sometimes wish that I was one of those people who loses weight when they are stressed. Alas I am not. I eat and I lose my hair. Fun combination. ‘

That leads me to now. Enough of the massive download of information. I am formulating what I want to achieve next year. What I want to start putting in place, and the massive changes I am going to implement.

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