Tumgik
#seriously if you take nothing else away from this take away that if you get any opportunity to get good tomatoes you need to do so
sleepyangelkami · 3 days
Note
AHH I’m seriously so jealous of your writing😭 can you write something about carls girl never realizing when people are flirting with her and he doesn’t get jelly but can help but get a little protective? ❣️❣️
OBLIVIOUS c.grimes
Tumblr media
 ☆ WORD COUNT - 2.1K
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
CARL GRIMES X FEM!READER
 ☆ SUMMARY - oblivion was your middle name, never seeing the various places flirting came from. but carl noticed. of course he noticed. and with your harmless oblivion, he had to take action into his own hands.
 ☆ WARNINGS - ditzy + oblivious!reader, ron, flirting, protectiveness, (3) use of y/n, petnames, intended lowercase, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷
Tumblr media
carl wouldn't exactly say he had a 'wide group of friends'.
when they moved into alexandria, carl had already been on the road so long that he'd lost interest in people his age. he preferred the strong fighters he stood by like his father and daryl. he didn't seem to have much time for anyone else.
well, anyone but you.
you were the opposite of them, friendly and kind, oblivious as a bat.
rick adored the fact that even in a world like their own, his son had managed to find love. he'd let you into the family with open arms, seeing nothing but pure intentions behind your pretty smile that had half the town whipped. if only you'd glanced around to notice. you were too busy trying to avoid the poles you almost walked into, though.
but despite his love for his sons loving nature of his own, he worried for him. he was constantly on his back about being a 'normal teenager' he was supposed to grow old surrounded by people, not just wither away when you weren't around.
this was what possessed carl to invite ron over. well, technically he didn't invite him over, rick did, and technically, it was supposed to be ron, mickey and enid. however, enid and ron had just recently broke up and mickey was trying to support her through it (they were stealing whiskey from his dad's liquor cabinet.)
he would have invited you over too, if only ron wasn't so... "hey, man, so where's y/n?"
carl couldn't help but roll his eyes before picking up his console controller. the only good thing about ron coming over was the fact that carl got to absolutely obliterate him in console games. which was sort of embarrassing for ron seeing as carl had spent his childhood fighting off the real things they fought against in pixles. "at home." he answered sourly.
cue the oblivion.
you'd been friends with ron longer than you'd known carl. but that didn't mean anything to him. you were friends with everyone. the only problem was that you were completely oblivious to the fact that he was downright in love with you.
carl wasn't exactly jealous, no, he had more faith in you than that.
however, he'd be lying if he didn't find himself bubbling over every time your name slipped from between his chapped lips. ron barely knew you. you were carl's.
"ah." smacking his lips together annoyingly as he sat against the cushion beneath him, cushioning him from the carpet. yes, ron needed cushioning from the carpet. "she's always been like that, a hermit, that one." as if he'd known you for centuries.
carl barely glanced forward, a look of un-amusement on his face before turning back to the screen.
ron stuffed his face with the chips next to him. "what?" voice all muffled.
carl didn't even get to answer for before his lips so much as parted, a sound was heard from the front of his house. he could make out your girlish giggles before he could hear the door open and close. you were such a soft person but there was nothing soft in the way you tossed the door closed excitedly. "carl!" your voice echoed through the house, stopping his heart momentarily.
there was something so regretful about ron perking up on carl's living room floor. your giggles slowed to a stop and carl saw you standing in the doorway, glancing at ron as your smile faded. "hey, baby." ignoring the look across your face.
you weren't sad ron was here, you were happy carl was hanging out with people. it was more confusion, he hadn't mentioned this. you shrugged it off, thinking perhaps it was a surprise visit. you did like surprises. you didn't so much as think twice, the sound of his voice soothing you and turning your brain to mush.
"hi! hi ron." smile suddenly returning. carl always found it funny, how quickly your expressions could change. but he liked you this way, easy to read. "look what I made!"
you were prancing over to where he stood on the couch within seconds. carl watched as you let wool unravel.
there wasn't much to do around alexandria seeing as you worked in the gardens most days and some days it was much too rainy or muddy so you spent most your time in your room and with carl, of course. sometimes both.
when you'd told carl weeks ago that you'd decided to take up crocheting he looked at you funny, wondering what the hell was a crochet.
you'd read somewhere about it and told him it was basically knitting. then he asked why you couldn't simply knit. he didn't get it, you realised.
nonetheless, he'd been awfully supportive as you came about this new hobby. he watched the pink and white wool against the couch, made yourself with some new stitch you'd learned. there were bows on it too which only made the boy smile. he was sure that if he entered his bedroom now, there'd be at least twenty bows he could spot somewhere around the room that you'd left.
perhaps you were marking your territory.
"wow." he gushed at the piece of fabric. "that's amazing, sweetheart." watching your cheeks go pink.
ron watched from his space on the floor, swallowing the crunchy chips in his mouth. you were close with carl. of course you were he was your boyfriend. but even so, you were close with carl.
always cuddling up to him, getting so close. come to think about it, there wasn't much times he'd seen you both in the same room and not touching. if you weren't, you were usually busy wandering off leaving a distressed carl behind you, holding his hat on his head as he searched for your whereabouts.
a 'thank you' was on the tip of your lips, ready to thank the boy for his constant praise. how could he not? you were making blankets now, that could benefit the whole community. and you'd already given away at least a dozen. "yeah, that's really amazing." ron intervened.
truthfully, you'd almost forgotten he was here.
you'd turned your head to him, little guilt swirling in your veins. you were probably interrupting their 'bro time'. "thanks, ron."
"'course, y/n." the way he said your name had carl's stomach feeling off. "can I see it?"
of course you were much too oblivious to think anything of it, the sweet "sure!" leaving your mouth. carl watched you part from his side, sitting next to ron on the carpet, avoiding the chips that were spilling onto the ground and passing him the blanket.
"wow." his praise seemed sort of... forced but it felt good nonetheless. praise from anyone nowadays felt good. "this is just amazing, you have to teach me some day."
his tone was nothing short of suggestive. luckily for carl, he wasn't the jealous type, at least not with ron anderson. he had enough to be thinking about, like a break in on alexandria and someone mauling you in your sleep. he didn't waste a second thinking of you running off with ron. there wasn't a chance in the galaxy. but that didn't help the knot in his stomach.
not jealousy. but he didn't like the way his hands were straying so close to yours.
you were too ditzy to notice anything of it. but that was the whole thing. you didn't take notice of much, always confused, the perfect target for anyone to prey on.
now, carl didn't exactly think ron was a bad person. however, he wasn't so inclined to leave the both of you alone, he was sure that whether or not you were with carl and whether or not he had been with enid, ron wouldn't hesitate to make a move. and you'd be stuck not knowing what to do, too afraid of hurting someone elses feelings.
"okay." you shrugged your shoulders, missing carl's touch too much to think about teaching ron how to crochet. you often did this, letting your mind stray to the things most important.
like carl, for example. you did it at the worst of times. perhaps you were having an interesting conversation with enid but she spent a little too long getting to the point. before you know it, your mind is on carl or something or other. you moved so fast, never grasping what was said to you. carl always found it sort of adorable. especially when it was you that was telling the stories, venturing off to your side quests along the way.
"yeah?" you didn't nod nor did you answer, your eyes were grazing the blanket and carl could tell you were far away. "how about friday?" this snapped you back, though.
you pondered for a brief moment. you thought nothing of the interaction aside from the fact that you'd have to teach the boy to crochet. you couldn't really teach anyone to do anything, much too side tracked.
you didn't pick up on the way his head moved, his lips quirked and his body leaned into your own, eyes flickering up to carl as his own mouth opened.
"she can't." he answered for you. you were lucky, you knew so much. with carl around, you hardly ever had to think. imagine being so comfortable, to not even have to use your brain. you always joked that he was going to make you lazy. brain dead, even. "we're doing something together."
this you perked up at. "we are?" excitedly turning to the boy as you pondered what it was you could be doing this friday. he often took you outside the walls, leaning against his shoulder and listening to him read the comics he stole on runs. you liked the way he imitated the sounds like 'bang' and 'wack' because he'd always yell just to get you to laugh.
"yeah?" ron's tone suddenly changed from suggestive to not curious but something you couldn't quite put your tongue on. it was as if he'd been challenging the boy. "like what?"
carl tilted his head. he had enough of the boy's childish gimmicks as of now. there were many things he could be doing tonight such as bringing you upstairs and throwing on a dvd for you both or perhaps you could teach him to crochet. but jealous or not, carl had no intentions of leaving you with ron.
"like none of your business." this caught you off guard. carl only really had one tone with you and that was lovesick, filled with admiration. but as he gave ron a kind of glare, you wondered if there was a side to carl that you didn't know.
however, the thought left as soon as it came when you spotted the new cushion covers the grimes' couch had recovered.
ron shook his head, teeth grasping at the inside of his cheek. "I think i'm gonna go." practically daring you to dispute, but your mind wasn't even in the argument.
"i think that's a good idea." carl merely answered, eyes focused on the boy.
ron stood from his place, not bothering to take his wrappers with him. it'd been all you'd noticed, how rude of him. "see you tomorrow, y/n."
"bye." you chirped, still oblivious to the tension in the room.
carl watched as ron stood, glaring at the boy, as if he was trying to get some kind of a reaction out of him. would he really have to fight to the death for him to leave you alone? carl couldn't help but scoff, leaning against the couch without the faintest hint of jealousy in his bones, knowing that as you sat against the carpet, all you cared for was him.
most girls liked the jealousy. carl could think of one thing better than that, though.
certainty.
as ron left the house, he made sure to shut the door extra loud. carl's glare hardened against the white wood. "carl?" your pretty voice could be heard, sweet as honey.
he shook his head, turning away. "yeah, baby?"
"what are we doing on friday?" confused as to his plans. carl couldn't help but grin at you, shaking his head. even through his tension face off with ron, you hadn't suspected a thing, mind much too innocent to the silence cruelty of others. when he didn't respond, you frowned. "i'm confused."
a laugh puffed from his lips. "you're always confused." you gave him a pathetic attempt of a glare. "come on, dvd?"
"okay!" you chirped, instantly grinning.
forgetting so quickly.
Tumblr media
main masterlist/carl's masterlist
134 notes · View notes
miinatozakiii · 6 hours
Text
you’re the sunflower (i think your love would be too much)
kim dahyun x fem!reader ; fluff
synopsis: dahyun's a busy woman and mother, you're willing to do anything to help her out.
warnings: dahyun is a single mother ; fluff and fluff my fav forever ; I can't really think of what else there is ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread
a/n: dubu day! short n sweet
Tumblr media
dahyun trudges home, her work bag feeling heavier on her shoulder as she walks up the three steps leading to the door of her house.
when she opens the door, she finds her small townhouse completely dark, no lights on except some peaking out form the stairs to the second level.
your car was still in the driveway, so you were still here too, with her daughter, may.
she sets her bag on the counter, then slips off her jacket before hanging it on the coat rack beside the door. a soft sigh leaves her lips as she settles down on the couch, relaxing her shoulders and closing her eyes.
then, the faint sound of footsteps quietly rings throughout the house.
the light turns on, dahyuns eyes open, and she turns to the right to see a familiar figure creeping down the stairs.
a smile spreads across her face as she watches you try your best to put your backpack on, desperately avoiding any sudden movement that’ll ring the keychains on the zippers.
dahyun grins. “hey.”
she watches you jump, a noticeable gasp leaving your lips as you turn to see her.
“jesus,” you mutter, “you scared me.”
she giggles, then makes her way over to you.
“is she asleep?”
“yup, like a baby.” you assure. dahyuns hair is loose, strands falling over her face. you bring your pointer finger over to brush them away. “how was work?”
her heart flutters before answering. “a little tiring, the usual.”
“aw, sorry to hear.” you say, frowning. “well, i ordered takeout. there’s some leftover chinese in the fridge for you, i wasn’t sure if you’d have time to eat dinner.”
she can’t help but feel all bashful from your consideration, heart melting as soon as she hears your words.
“thank you y/n, you’re so sweet.”
“ah, anything for you. it’s never a problem for me.” you laugh the sincerity of your response off, shaking your hand. “i’d love to eat with you, but i really have to get home early. i have some meeting tomorrow that’s mandatory, i don’t know why.”
she frowns, pursing her lips a bit.
you put your hand on her shoulder, leaving it there for a bit as you look at her. you open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, not until dahyun places her hand on yours and beats you to breaking the silence.
“well, i hope that meeting goes well. thank you for taking care of stella.”
“it’s no problem, i’ll see you…?”
“we’ll see, i don’t want to trouble you.”
“never trouble if it’s you.” you giggle softly, eyes soften in as you linger on each feature on her face. “i’ll get going now, text me if you need me — and i mean it.”
dahyun laughs, “fine, fine.”
you put your hands in your pocket, heading towards the front door and opening it before pausing and turning towards dahyun.
“goodnight.”
she smiles.
“sleep tight.”
-
work gets more hectic for dahyun, deadlines are plastered across her calendar, her boss has been on edge, and she doesn’t have time to take care of may.
she calls you up to ask if you’re free to take care of her, and when you say yes, she thanks you at least ten times, followed by a string of apologies.
the day later you show up to pick up her daughter from school, taking her home and calling dahyun to let her know everything is fine. you hear her voice on the other end of the line, rushed apologies spew out her mouth.
“it’s fine hyun, don’t worry, seriously.”
you hear her sigh at the end of the line, probably pinching the bridge of her nose too.
“i owe you the world.”
“oh, just keep working to support you and your daughter. i don’t need anything but the assurance that you’re both fine.”
dahyun might tear up after hearing the sincerity in your voice.
“you’re the sweetest person i know y/n.”
“and you’re even sweet hyun, get back to work okay? besides, spending time with may is better than rotting in my apartment.”
once you hit a red light, you look over to may, who’s eyes are threatening to close in the passengers seat. first grade must be tiring.
“okay, okay. i’ll see you this evening y/n, im sorry, and thank you.”
“take care of yourself hyunie, ill see you.”
both smiling, you two end the call at the same time.
dahyun looks at her screen, groaning frustratedly before pulling up spreadsheets and reminders. she starts to type away, her mind trailing off here and there to think of you, and how grateful she is.
on your side, you’ve just reached dahyun’s place, pulling up in the parking spot next to where she usually parks. you look over to see may, who’s asleep with the artwork she’s made in her arms, and smile lovingly.
you’ve known may since she was born, the first person to hold her was you.
she’s someone you’ve cared for over the years, you’re almost like a godmother to her with how often you see and spend time with her. out of the few people you keep close, she’s one of them.
carrying her in your arms, you walk up the steps and type in the code that unlocks the door. dahyun gave you the code from how often you visited. you step inside and hear a small mumble in your ear, may shifts her head while it rests on your shoulder.
"is mommy home yet?"
you place your hand on her head, soothing her scalp. "she's busy with work, she'll be home later."
she hums into your shirt as you find your way to the couch, then you set her down. she lays down on the little pillow before you pull away from her, which urges her to wake up a bit.
you hear her stomach rumble and giggle. "someone's hungry."
the rest of the afternoon into the evening is relatively calming. may sits next to you on the couch while you work on something for your company.
there's a clipboard in her lap and markers, crayons, as well as scissors beside her. you two sing along to the songs playing on your computer while both of you work on whatever it is that needs to be done, enjoying each other's presence and appreciating the tenderness of the moment.
after thirty minutes of work, you decide to take a little break, stretching your arms out and looking over to snoop at what she's working on.
she's scribbling, mixing colors that work nicely together to make something cute looking around the words "happy birthday mom."
right, it's dahyun's birthday tomorrow.
you remember the first birthday of hers that you spent with her, a year before may was born. it was in her apartment, and only you were there because everyone had their finals and exams.
it was an hour before her birthday ended, she was cooped up in her room studying because she had tried to convince everyone it was fine and that the weekend would be a better time for something big. but you were stubborn, not wanting any birthday to be put to waste.
the memory of spending the last hour of her twenty-first birthday crosses your mind and it makes you smile. you look at may, her features resembling her mothers, the same features you adore; their eyes and noses were nearly identical.
"that's beautiful may."
"thank you y/n, it's for my mom."
"i can see that." you respond, watching closely. "can I make one?"
she nods eagerly, practically jumping out the seat to run over to where dahyun's desk is in the other room. seconds later she's back with a blank paper and a hardcover book for you to write on it, handing it over and trying her best not to show her struggling to hold the heavy book.
may's head rests against your shoulder as she leans on you, continuing to scribble and you catch the little doodle of her and her mom together, with you standing next to them as well. your lips turn up into a smile.
"y/n?"
"yes?"
she scribbles something similar to how your hair is done onto the stick figure. "do you love my mom?"
"i've known her forever; of course i love your mom."
"no, do you love mommy like people with a mom and dad love each other?"
may didn't have a dad; he was simply out of the picture. it saddens you to think about her questions, which are born from curiosity but still tug at your heartstrings. and you love dahyun deeply, beyond words. she’s your rock, and you’ve done everything you could for her and will continue to do so. ss you look at the girl in front of you, patiently waiting for an answer, all you can see is a reflection of the person you love the most.
"i--" you pause, biting your lip. "that's a difficult question."
"i always see my friends with their parents, and I think my mommy loves you like that." kids say things with such deeper meanings, things that are so complex without knowing. her response catches you off guard. "the way their mom's and dad's are with each other reminds me of the two of you."
you try to laugh off the feeling of your body starting to tense up. "well, that's wonderful to hear that they love each other so much. and I don't think your mom has much time to love me like that."
"well, whenever she does have time i think she loves you."
jesus, she sounds like momo convincing you your feelings for dahyun were mutual the day before graduation. it couldn't be true, but her daughter convincing you this time -- it makes you rethink it all.
"you're silly, may. let's finish these drawings up before she gets here."
may drops the topic, but you still think about the weight of her words. if her daughter can pick up the same things as momo, could it be true? you don't want to think too hard about that, it's too complicated. it's always been something you didn't want to put on dahyun; you and your feelings.
an hour passes by, but it feels like seconds.
may steals your phone and with her little fingers she plays a few of your favorite songs. they range from radio music that both of you have memorized to songs from movies you've watched with her and her mother. when it switches to slower songs that are queued automatically, the five hours of sleep from the night creep up to you.
the little girl continues to draw on her paper, then asks you a question about what you've been working on, only to earn no response.
she looks over to see your mouth partially open and your head leaned back. your arms are limp, the marker you had been writing with sits loosely in between your fingers, and your breathing is labored.
she tries to shake you awake, but fails. your head falls down at an angle now, which makes may laugh. she decides to take your paper and her's away after checking the time on your phone; her mom would be home soon.
may returns to see you asleep still, then decides to join you. she returns to the position from before, now laying again you and closing her eyes before mumbling a low, "goodnight y/n, you must be very sleepy."
--
it's a little over half past nine when dahyun reaches her house, unlocking the door with her bag hung on her shoulder.
it's late, the lights are still on, and she hears a faint melody playing. she trudges over to the living room, smiling immediately at what she sees before her.
your head is angled uncomfortably, your arm around may, with your mouth slightly open. dahyun finds it all so adorable. her daughter is snoring softly, a small trail of drool escaping from the corner of her lips. the sight urges dahyun to find her phone and snap a picture, which she immediately adds to her favorites.
she places her bag down on the coffee table in front of you two, then slowly lifts her daughter into her arms, trying not to wake the two of you. she lets may rest her head on her shoulder as she carries her up to her daughters bedroom, placing the little girl on her bed and tucking her in.
dahyun places a kiss on the little girls forehead, which nudges her awake. "mommy?'
"shhh, sweetheart, it's time for bed."
"okay... but y/n is still sleeping... can she stay?"
"sweetheart," dahyun holds her daughters hand and brings it up to her lips, placing a warm kiss. "of course, I was going to make her sleepover too, it's quite late."
may's eyes are half open, she's tired beyond measure, but still, she manages to murmur a sleepy response that shakes dahyun up. "you love her a lot, don't you. like my friends' mom's and dad's love each other."
what are they teaching at schools these days? how to analyze romantic literature?
"i--" dahyun sighs out, pursing her lips. "it's late, get some rest honey. i don't have work tomorrow, let's talk about this tomorrow when you're awake."
may hums and dahyun kisses her forehead once more before heading to the doorframe, lingering there before she turns off the light and closes the door.
she walks back downstairs to find you still asleep on the couch, head angled even worse. if you had slept like that for a few hours more, she might just have you at the chiropractor.
dahyun moves your hair out your face and sits you up correctly -- it wakes you up.
"what..." you mutter sleepily, subconsciously leaning against dahyun's hand. you sigh softly, happily, and smile once you blink a couple times to meet dahyun's face. you could never get tired of those features, and you could make them out even in a thick fog. "you're home."
"i am."
you put your hand on hers. "happy birthday."
"it's not midnight yet."
"happy early birthday then."
you're a little more awake now, awake enough to stand up and face dahyun, who's looking at you with concern.
"stay the night." it sounds like an order from her. "it's too late for you to go home."
"i don't want to cause trouble--"
"y/n, be serious. you're never trouble." dahyun sighs, right before taking your hand in hers and leading you to the stairs. "besides, I don't work tomorrow since I finished everything. that's why I was out so late."
"okay."
you let her drag you upstairs, then into her room. you let her push you into one of the bathrooms, let her hand you one of the shorts you left and one of her oversized t-shirts that still fits a little snug on you. you let her convince you to stay in her room with her and not the couch.
it's eleven after you two situate yourselves; the process of showering doesn't take long, but nearly two hours pass when you both are downstairs and reminiscing, talking about your day, then anything and everything.
both of you are upstairs when it's around 11:50pm. you get in bed first, sitting on the edge and checking a few notifications on your phone before dahyun asks, "can you help me out.?
you perk your head up, looking at her as she stands in front of the mirror. "of course, what is it?"
she watches you make your way over to her, then sees you creep up from behind on the mirror.
"my shoulders are tense." she simply says, looking at you from the mirror. she doesn't need to say anything else to have your hands on either side of her neck, squeezing tightly. she relaxes under your touch, appreciating the way your hands remove the tension from sitting at a desk for hours.
the tension that's still present is everything between you two. may's question still lingers in both of your heads; you're the first to bring it up.
"your daughter asked if we love each other like a mom and dad."
"she asked you too?"
"yeah."
silence follows. dahyun sighs when your thumb presses beside her shoulder blade, your breath tickles the back of her neck. she turns around to look at you, head tilted up slightly.
the only light that's in the room is coming from the lamp on the bedside table, it emphasizes the curve of your nose and look in your eyes when she meets your gaze.
she adds, "what did you say?"
"i dodged the question."
"what would you have said if you hadn't?"
she's trapped you with that question, and the hand on your shoulder, and those eyes.
the truth is; you love dahyun more than any of those kids' parents do, probably. you want to give dahyun everything, it's what you've always wanted to do the first time she had taken care of you back in your second year of college.
she's taken care of you when you were sick, drunk, and mentally fighting. she's been there longer than most, and she's pure, she's genuine, she's beautiful; dahyun is your world, your rock, everything and more.
you love her more than what a child can see between two parents of another. you sigh at the thought of her not eating, you think of her at night when it's storming and gloomy, you buy her the bread she's fond of, you bring her chocolates at work, you do her laundry when she's visibly drained; you love dahyun so much that it's all you are -- you are care and adoration because of her.
"i," you try to conjure up everything you can to answer the question simply. it's late and you're vulnerable when she stares at you, vulnerable after years of pining, and vulnerable after that question from may. years of loving can't be put into a sentence, but you manage to say something. "I love you more than that. the question is broad."
"it is," she's a little closer to you now, your faces are not so far apart. "the question caught me off guard."
"the questions is quite nerve-racking for something being asked by a six year old."
"y/n," dahyun practically sighs, lovingly. "i really love you, you know. not just because you've done all this but-- because you're you."
you break. "dahyun, i would move mountains for you. i want to be the person you lean on for everything and more, I've loved you beyond words since you fell asleep on me during that lecture."
"for psych?"
"for psych."
your hand intertwines with dahyun's, she tightens the hold. you might just collapse right then and there, but honestly, if dahyun's there to catch you, that's quite alright.
she places her hand right on your cheek, her fingers twitch and graze on your warm skin right before she's on her tip toes to kiss you.
her lips are warm and soft and all kinds of comforting when they meet yours. it's perfect, it's everything you've been dreaming of for years.
your phone rings in the background, the reminder that you've set a whole notification for her birthday pulls you away from her, and now your hands are on her waist.
"happy birthday." you whisper against her lips.
she smiles, you can feel it against your own. dahyun parts from you, but her hand still rests on the base of your neck and she still has her fingers intertwined with yours with the other hand.
"this might be my favorite birthday, i think."
"not the time i showed up outside your house drenched from the rain?"
"no, you didn't kiss me that time." she says before meeting your lips again, putting both hands on your shoulders and pushing you closer into her. the taste of your lips is sweeter than she's imagined, and the scent of her own body wash fills her senses; you're perfect. "this is much better."
57 notes · View notes
buddiebeginz · 1 day
Note
If they are keeping Lou around for any part of season 8 the show has to put an end to the cameo nonsense. Some of the Buck/Oliver takes that are starting to make the rounds are next level insane. I saw one scolding Oliver for making Lou do all the promoting of the ship. Another post said the writers needed to up Buck's game because he's not at the level of commitment yet that Tommy is being written (wtf when were these episodes). And yet another post scolding Oliver for promoting Buddie and Buck for continuing to spend time with Eddie.
They are taking these PAID (you paid him to say this shit) videos and making them canon. No part of anything he's saying is canon. Firstly, he wouldn't be allowed to tell them any actual canon facts and secondly Oliver/Buck is the character/actor the show gives a shit about. He's encouraging this nonsense and it's gross. Him promoting himself is fine, it's low-key cringe given the fact the other half of the ship is silent but you do you, babe. Oliver's silence is what's pissing his fans off. Seriously tell me you're new to Captain Starks ways without telling me you're new. He promotes no ship but the Buddie ship, canon or not. These people are here for Lou. When he goes, happy for him to take them with him.
I'm not sure why they keep letting him do those cameos especially after he pissed people off when he said T*mmy being homophobic and racist to Hen and Chim was just teasing. He also talked about people recognizing him in Thailand in the AH interview and did this fake stereotypical asian accent. 🤦‍♀️He really needs a better agent and some media training because they'd for sure tell him to knock that shit off.
I could see the cameos being fun to do a few times when he first came back to the show even to garner excitement about B/T and T*mmy but the fact that he's done so many now and has even raised the price just makes him look desperate for attention. And like you said he gives all these headcanons about T*mmy in his videos that his obsessive fans have taken for absolute fact. We would never hear the end of it if Buddie fandom was paying Ryan for videos like that.
I agree with you that a majority of B/T stans are here first and foremost for T*mmy and Lou not Buck and Oliver. I still can't believe that a lot of them used to be Buddie shippers. I think everyone should be able to ship what they want including multishipping but I don't get how some of them dropped a ship they were seemingly invested in for years for the nothing that is B/T.
That part of fandom also loves to call us delusional and say we're seeing only what we want to see but a lot of times we're just pointing out what's actually happening. Like in the recent episode T*mmy was being a downer to Buck's enthusiasm (which has basically become the norm for them). The camera also paned to Eddie after Buck got his award not T*mmy. Buck chose to run off to Eddie's after work not to T*mmy's. These are things the show is literally showing us not just stuff we're imagining.
It's similar with Oliver. They can come up with all the reasons in the world why he's never promoted B/T through this entire season but it doesn't matter because he still hasn't and likely won't. I've seen them say Oliver doesn't post anything about B/T or Lou to avoid dealing with the hate or to not upset Buddie fans or to protect Lou. The thing is though Oliver has left social media before when he's had issues and could again if he wanted to. He's also been dealing with homophobic comments since Buck came out but he's never shied away from talking about Buck coming out and has even addressed the hate on his insta.
Oliver liked a couple of B/T pieces of art when the story first happened but I think that was more to support the bi Buck storyline and the artists than anything else. Multiple times during this season he's liked Buddie art (including a tattoo which he commented on three times) he's also posted Buddie related and Ryan stuff on his stories. If he wanted to show support to Lou or B/T he could easily post on his stories where people can't comment. B/T stans can think what they want but it's clear Oliver doesn't promote any of that because he's rooting for Buddie harder than anyone. I think he knows B/T isn't going to be around forever and he's trying not to lead people on about it as he's said in the past he hates to do that.
I really hope we can get rid of T*mmy at the end of s7 although knowing Tim he'll probably keep him for added drama until s8. Unfortunately even when B/T ends I expect those fans to do a lot of complaining because they've concocted this whole idea in their head that T*mmy is Buck's endgame soulmate. They even want T*mmy to be added on as main character and get a begins episode. So I fully expect some of them to riot when he inevitably gets the ax. The rest will probably run back to Buddie the minute it becomes canon and try to pretend they never left. Jokes on them though because a lot of Buddie shippers have blocked them for how awful they've been this season especially towards Eddie.
33 notes · View notes
Time to fangirl about Helluva Boss: My predictions for "Full Moon"
Stolas wakes up. He's sick, he's nervous, he's conscious what day it is and what will could posibly go right or go absolutly and irremediably wrong.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
We know the episode starts with the duet, so Stolas proceeds to vent his feelings the only way we've seen him be able to do: through songs. So they sing.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Stolas sing about being aware of the power inbalance in their... situationship. So he plans to give Blitz the choice to stay or leave. Of course, if Blitz choses to stay it would be perfect; but if he doesn't, Stolas would lose the only thing close to "love" he has.
Meanwhile, Blitz sings about keeping things the way the are. Of course, he doesn't like change. He's probably becoming aware of his own feelings but as long as they don't talk about it, everything will be fine, rigth?
After that, they're gonna show us IMP at the end of a job, using the grimoire (maybe) for the last time. And they are happy because everything is going up for them. Moxxie talks about how it would be disastrous to lose that but Blitz just ignores him 'cause he has somewhere else to be.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Bitz's suit has blood so he changes and goes to Fizzarolli for advice on how to please his high status demon so he can make sure they go back to how it was. And Blitz gets A LOT of things.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
And finds Stolas waiting for him on the bed... but he's dressed? And so the torture begins.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Stolas is not good with words, we already know that. We also knew Blitz would take "the talk" as a subtle pitiful way of Stolas saying he doesn't wanna have anything to do with him anymore. And Blitz breaks. My boy tried to do, say and look his best to make this night special and turns out his efforts were in vain. Doesn't matter if he pushes people away because people will abandon him even when he's not trying to do so.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I've seen people theorize that Stolitz are gonna parallel themselfs when they were kids, with Stolas portaling Blitz to the tree where they played when they were little and confess or solve their problems there, but that's not the case. Here my evidence:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Look at the plants on the first background and the barely visible plant on the scene where Blitz is screaming at Stolas. It seems Blitz is chasing Stolas through the palace, but WHY? And here:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Right after Stolas portals Blitz away, we see a tree some believe to be the same as the one when they were kids, but it's actually one of the trees from the entrance. Stolas teleported Blitz OUT of the palace. Brandon has to agree at least we have this theory right.
Me & Brandon:
Tumblr media
We also have this scene and I''m curious WHY does Stolas looks so formal? With the hat and everything:
Tumblr media
For the red light on the corner, I assume this is from the same scene when they talk. Maybe he's not waiting for Blitz on the bed, maybe that's a completely different scene, but they DO have the talk in Stolas' room. Maybe this clip is first: he puts his hat on, ready to be professional so Blitz will take him seriously as he explains why they can't keep doing what they're doing the way they're doing it.
I have no idea what could Stolas had possibly said to trigger Blitz so bad to the point where he snaps (and maybe says some hurtful things) and Stolas ends it by teleporting him out. Maybe, in his dramatic solitude, the epise ends with Stolas saying: "Thank you, Blitz, for making me so happy even if only for a little while" as a form of closure.
Anyway, I give you nothing. I'm slowly spiraling into an abyss of delusion in order to survive the wait.
46 notes · View notes
renaultmograine · 11 hours
Text
I am so normal about Anduin and Shaw's relationship.
Anduin snooping through SI:7's files during Cataclysm to do his own detective work (this behavior is normal according to Anduin) and telling you to go ask for Shaw's opinion on something, as he's the only man Anduin trusts for this. Shaw is just like "Weren't you supposed to keep him out of trouble?" but says nothing more, presumably because Anduin is Anduin and cannot be controlled.
Anduin who goes from admittedly wary because he doesn't know much about Shaw personally in Before the Storm to "Shaw is my best friend ever" on the first page of Shadows Rising
Anduin torturing Shaw in Elegy with his quite frankly insane ideas on how to use SI:7 and Shaw who doesn't argue with him despite the insanity.
Shaw who IIRC never argues with Anduin on policy? Ever? Everyone else has a billion opinions for Anduin about how to do this and that and Shaw is very clearly presented as not doing that.
Anduin yelling at Shaw for SI:7 not being able to find an ethereal squid in a nightmare realm that isn't tangible in the real world and the fact that this cinematic is the only one where Shaw isn't scowling like a maniac in BFA.
That one bit in the EA:TEK where Shaw sounds like a smothering mother talking about how exposed Stormwind Keep's garden area is and how he mentions Anduin doesn't take his concern seriously.
That moment in Terror By Torchlight where the necromancer says to Shaw that "everything he holds near and dear" to him will be ripped away by black wings, and then Anduin is stolen by the mawsworn.
Shaw who has been using his agents to hunt down Anduin relentlessly since he went on his little soul searching journey but Anduin is Anduin and keeps juking them relentlessly.
I hope they get a good reunion like Anduin and Genn inevitably will.
21 notes · View notes
heliads · 3 days
Text
seven devils all around me - connor lassiter x roland taggart
Connor Lassiter is stuck in the basement beneath an antique store. Roland Taggart is waiting for him.
masterlist
They take the Unwinds away one by one.
It makes it better, somehow. The waiting. Better and worse. Better, because this means they’ll each individually move faster than if everyone was removed from the cellar underneath Sonia’s antique shop in one great, easily distracted group. Better, because there’s a slimmer chance of everyone getting caught by vengeful Juvey-cops if there’s just one feral moving at a time than a group of a dozen dead kids walking.
Worse, because it means that the familiar faces are disappearing slowly but surely. The idea exists that they are being taken somewhere safe, but no one can be certain. All Connor Lassiter knows is that the few people in this world that he even halfway trusts are vanishing into the hands of khaki-uniformed strangers. Every few days, someone else goes up the trapdoor and  back into the light, and their numbers shrink down to dust, a not-quite friend group being wound down into a mere handful of uneasy souls.
At first, it didn’t trouble Connor all that much. He pictured it like a doctor’s waiting room:  no matter how long he waited, they’d all be seen eventually. A couple of the kids he barely knew were taken first, which didn’t matter, but then he got to know the rest better and their loss hurt more than when he didn’t remember their names, so. That’s what he gets for trying to make friends, apparently.
As their numbers seriously started to thin, though, Connor started getting shifty again. All of a sudden, there were four. Connor and Risa (the baby removed first, probably less out of moral obligation than the need to get the wailing infant out of that tiny space), joined at the hip ever since they crossed paths while running away. Also remaining in the darkness is Hayden in the back, trying out his sarcastic jokes on an ever-shrinking group of people, and, because the universe apparently cannot hate Connor enough, Roland.
Risa goes next. Connor expected to feel more unsettled by her disappearance after so much time spent watching each other’s backs, but instead the first uncharitable thought in his mind is that at least he won’t be glared at every time he says something wrong. He’s not a flawless human being, even if Risa seems to expect that he’ll be just as perfect as she is.
About half a week later, soldiers in khaki come back down the stairs. Connor waits to see which one of the three remaining unwinds they’ll bring out. It must be him or Roland. Connor’s more of a high profile figure at this point, but Roland’s been here longer, and if they’re trying to get the kids who’ve been waiting for greater intervals, they’ve got to take him out first. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking, though.
To Connor’s surprise, the guards instead point to Hayden and gruffly tell him to get a move on. The blond pumps a fist in mock celebration, then glances between Connor and Roland. “Try not to tear each other to pieces, will you? Leave that for the Juveys.”
With those words of wisdom, Hayden heads for the door, not inclined to loiter in the dark basement any more than he has to. Connor can’t blame him. If he had the chance to get out, he’d sprint up those stairs in a heartbeat.
The guards replenish some of the supplies in the basement, then leave at last, shutting the trapdoor behind them with an ominous thud. Connor is left with the chilling realization that Hayden was the last person who could possibly stand between him and Roland. Now that Hayden’s gone, nothing can stop Roland from finally acting on the hatred that’s been simmering between both of them from the second Connor got here.
Connor can’t believe they’d actually leave him here with Roland. When you have two guys who obviously hate each other’s guts, you don’t abandon them to each other. It reminds Connor of a riddle he heard when he was a kid– a chicken, some corn, and a fox stuck on one side of a river, a raft only big enough for two passengers, and a hapless farmer forced to figure out the order in which to ferry his passengers across so nothing gets eaten. Whoever’s playing the game with their lives has obviously fucked up this round, but unlike in a riddle, there are no second tries. Connor is left to get consumed by the fox eyeing him coldly from the other side of the basement.
Above him, the footsteps of the guards and Hayden bleed away, softened by antique rugs and then gone for good. Most days, Connor likes to pretend that he can hear trucks coming and going. It makes him believe that maybe there is a plan for all of them after they leave, that they won’t just be dumped somewhere alone again.
Today, though, he hates it. Hates them for leaving them here. Shouldn’t they know better? Even Hayden managed to figure that out in the span of a second. Any soldier with a week of experience should be able to tell that you don’t stick the two kids who hate each other the most in a dark basement with only the other for company. Already, Connor’s eyes are adjusting to the gloom again, but he doesn’t like the sight any better than he did on his first day.
“So,” a cold voice rings out across the semi-darkness. “They actually left us here alone. Didn’t think they’d do it.”
Connor scoffs, trying not to let any sign of apprehension slip through. “What, you got bored of my lively personality?”
“Humor doesn’t suit you, Connor,” Roland drawls. “Hayden got away with it because we liked him better than you. You can’t hide behind him any longer, though. It’s just us down here. Just you and me.”
“Charming,” Connor mumbles. “But it’ll be over in a few days. Then one of us will be alone. I hope it’s you.”
Something almost like sympathy twists at Connor’s gut as he says it. Even though he despises Roland, the thought of being alone down here in the dark and depressing basement is a fate he would kill to avoid. If he’s thinking that, though, Roland probably is too. And if Connor is willing to kill to not be the one left behind, Roland must be foaming at the mouth at the thought of it.
Roland chuckles. The sound issues across the basement until it coasts up to Connor, making the hair on his arms stand up with a rush. They’ve positioned themselves to be as far apart as possible, but their placement on opposite sides of the basement means that they’re constantly staring each other dead in the eyes. One blink, one glance away, and one of them could be on the other in a heartbeat. So they keep staring, and no one moves. There are no more bodies to keep between them. Just Connor, and Roland, and the awful distance between.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’d love it if they left me here? Bet it would make you feel awfully safe if I was locked up all the time. You think you’re a big man, Connor, but you’re scared of me.”
Connor scoffs and looks away. There’s a little too much knowledge in Roland’s gaze, and it sharpens to a knifepoint between Connor’s brows. In his peripheral vision, Connor can see Roland shifting slightly, jutting his chin up. Proud. Correct. Despicable.
“I’m not scared of you. Guys like you are a dime a dozen. If I wanted a greasy thug, I’d go to a gas station.” Connor spits out.
Roland stands in one swift motion, like he’s been yanked up by an invisible hand. Connor’s head jerks back up, but he’s looked back too late– Roland is already moving. The pretense is gone. Whatever they do here, they’ve been building up to it since the first day.
At first, Roland just hovers on the balls of his feet, leaning casually against the wall behind him. The basement is not tall, and he has to bend slightly so his head doesn’t scrape the ceiling. This gives the impression that Roland is leaning towards him, close enough to reach. Close enough to snap his jaws shut around Connor’s throat.
“You are scared,” Roland breathes triumphantly. “You’re so obvious. Even if you left me here, you’d never stop being scared. You’d go all across the world and you’d never stop thinking about me. I’d be a bigger part of you than anything.”
Connor shakes his head. “You’re wrong. You’re nothing to me.”
“I don’t believe you,” Roland hisses, and he’s across the basement in a second. Connor doesn’t even see him move. He blinks and the other boy is standing right in front of him, the tips of his shoes nudging Connor in the sides. He has Connor bracketed just slightly, hardly touching him but making it obvious that Connor cannot move without Roland’s express permission.
“You can’t do that,” Connor says. He feels like a little boy, whining about someone stealing his toy. “You know the rules.”
Roland actually rolls his eyes. “There’s nobody down here, remember? They can’t see us.”
The rest goes unspoken. Nobody is here. Nobody would know. And nobody would tell. Certainly not Connor. That would mean admitting that he let one boy bother him to the point of telling, and even if they fight, Connor’s not a coward. He’s going to handle this himself.
He tries to stand, but Roland’s hand flashes out to grab him, pushing him down to the ground again by the shoulder.
“Get your hands off of me,” Connor spits.
“Make me,” Roland says, all teeth. He pinches Connor’s shoulder as he says it, further proof of what they both know by now to be true:  Roland does what he wants, when he wants. And Connor won’t do a thing to stop it.
“You’re crazy,” Connor says, leaning away from Roland. Maybe the guy will back off if Connor pretends he doesn’t care. “Did you get hit on the head recently? Be honest.”
“It’s sweet of you to ask,” Roland simpers. He sinks to one knee so he can get a better read of Connor’s disgust, and they’re practically breathing each other in now, barely a millimeter between them. “Of course, it’s not your job to worry. Not mine, either. It’s not my head anymore, is it? Belongs to the Juveys. Who knows who’ll get my brain? Maybe you might end up with a piece or two.” He knocks his fist against Connor’s temple, less like a punch, more like a tap against an unlocked door. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Not knowing who was flirting with your girl, me or you? Or maybe my brain’s too good for you. Maybe you’d get my arm instead.”
Connor tries not to let his disgust at the idea show, but he’s not entirely successful. His dislike must be obvious, because Roland flashes him a dark grin, the expression broad and all-consuming. “What, you don’t like the ink?”
“I’m not a big fan of dolphins,” Connor hisses back.
Irritated, Roland snaps his jaws, teeth crashing together just a hair’s breadth from the tip of Connor’s nose. He doesn’t flinch, thankfully, but his eyes track the movement nonetheless, which makes Roland’s victorious smile loom again as if he had moved after all. 
“See?” Roland says, smooth and slow. “Scared. I see you.”
“You wish,” Connor retorts. “I’d be more scared of a spider.”
“Prove it, then,” Roland tells him. He’s so assured of himself that he even leans back a little, resting casually where he kneels on the cold floor of the basement right in front of Connor. He truly doesn’t believe that Connor could do a damn thing to him that matters.
He’s wrong, though. Connor can. Roland is expecting a fight, or an insult, something he can counter, but that’s the wrong move. Mama may have raised a boy she could give away for forms signed in triplicate but she sure as hell didn’t raise a fool, so Connor knows he must do something terrible, something worse, something to ruin this dark place forever. There’s one last trick up Connor’s sleeve, but it’s the wrong move, it’s the wrong path to start because once he starts going he’ll never stop. He should back off now, but he’s just like Roland in that aspect– could never back down, could never do anything but hurl himself directly into trouble– there is simply no other option– no choice– 
Connor’s mouth collides with Roland’s so harshly that their teeth crush together. He has the brief thought that he’d like to do that again, leaving the other boy bloody and bruised, and a sharp spike of something hot but not entirely unpleasant courses through him at the thought. Connor’s hand locks onto Roland’s throat a moment later, fingernails scrabbling for purchase before sliding down to grip the neck of his t-shirt. Maybe he should have gone for the throat first instead of the mouth, but that wasn’t the part that mattered. It was an afterthought. Throttle the boy, but not before you make him yours.
Roland lets out a surprised choke of air, just enough for Connor’s stomach to twist with satisfaction at getting the other hand, before he kisses Connor back with the same force if not more, enough to knock Connor’s head back against the wall. Connor gasps at the impact, giving Roland enough purchase to start pushing him into the ground again. Roland would bury him beneath the earth if he could, Connor thinks. He would erase all evidence that Connor had ever existed. Only Roland would know that he had been there at all. 
He’d like that too, Connor thinks with a shiver. Having that power over Connor. Owning him in every way that matters. Absolutely evil, but Connor is worse, because he has seen all of that and liked it. And allowed it to continue. And started it first.
Roland pulls away just a little, leaving both of them panting for breath. He kneels over Connor like a wild animal, and there’s a spark of something new in his eyes. It might be respect. “Didn’t think you had it in you, Lassiter.”
“You don’t know anything,” Connor growls, and forces them back together. One of his hands is bunched in the material of Roland’s shirt, the other reaching up past the throat to knot in Roland’s dark hair. He’s seen it from across the basement for days now, how it seemed to suck in all the light that touched it. He’s wanted to touch it, too, for a very long time. Connor tugs on the roots, jerking Roland’s head back, exposing the veins pulsing against the skin. If he only had a blade– but he is the blade now, he is the weapon. Connor could kill him right now, and he wouldn’t even need a knife.
The thought shocks him out of whatever trance made him do this. Connor pushes him away, suffering for purchase against the dirty floor until he picks himself up and flings himself across the basement, ending up where Roland had been just minutes before. They stare at each other again, so far from where they started, but somehow exactly in the same position. Two lions stuck in a cage, pacing, circling, until one lunges to draw blood and they engage once more.
“This won’t happen again,” Connor informs him. Even he doesn’t believe it.
Roland laughs pityingly. “You tell yourself that. We’ve got plenty of time before they let us out. You’ll get bored. Face it, Connor. You can never let me go.”
Connor shakes his head resolutely. This was a breach of judgment, a one-time slip. A mistake that won’t repeat. But he can still taste Roland’s breath on his tongue, and he can see where Roland’s dark hair is mussed from his hands, and Connor knows– he knows that he is wrong. That it will happen again. And he will start it, or Roland will, or both of them. It won’t matter. In the dark of the basement, where no one knows they’re alive, they can do whatever they want. This is what Connor wants. He's in a position to take it, so he will, again and again until they pull him out.
Then, who cares. He doesn’t have to think about that. He doesn’t have to think at all.
Roland grins. He’s won this round. Connor will have to beat him at something else, find a way to expose his throat to the cold, violent air or otherwise make him weak. He still has two hands and a pulse. He’ll find a way to get back on top.
Until then, Connor doesn’t have to remember a thing. The darkness swallows everything anyway. No point in looking.
a/n: for u babe @nealshustermanbrainrot
unwind tag list: @reinekes-fox, @sirofreak, @locke-writes
all tags list: @wordsarelife
18 notes · View notes
thepowerofshussy · 2 months
Text
Just made the most hearty nourishing stew that went wrong in so many ways throughout but turned into the most delicious warming thing.
Partner just got paid so we went to the market and got a fresh chicken and fennel and three different varieties of tomato and there was an offer on in the veg box and I got some vegan creme fresh and wild rice risotto mix and this really amazing sheep's cheese. I used the last of the paprika my sister brought over from Spain for Christmas and coated the chicken in it, lemon juice, Moroccan olive oil we got at a local cafe after my latest GP appointment, salt, garlic granules and pepper and put it in my big knock off le creuset (mid 10's Groupon I miss u) to cook for about an hour from a cold oven up to 190C (fan) before adding the roughly chopped vegetables with some smoked garlic we got a while ago and putting the chicken and lid back on top and putting it back into the oven for another like idk 30 minutes? The wonderful thing about the Dutch oven method and especially with the added moisture from the veg is you can't really overcook it unless you forget about it, and it will constantly call you to it by releasing delicious smells every time you open the lid. And if you're using tofu (I'd go smoked and add soyrizo if you can!) there's even less ways it could go wrong! My chicken was bigger than I'd calculated for and needed to cook for ages to get all the way through, but because it was a good quality fresh chicken from the butcher and had a lot of good fat and because it was essentially being steamed it stayed moist. I put the heat down to 160C and popped the lid off and another hour later it was golden brown and beautiful. I cooked the wild rice mix in the pressure cooker because brown rice can take ages, and I wanted the mix for texture and extra fiber/slow release carbohydrates because I've been having issues with low blood sugar the past few days and need something to keep me going overnight so I don't wake up feeling like absolute crap in the morning (or less so, hopefully). Any rice will do, you can cook it separately.
Things that went wrong:
1) cooking time of chicken off, breast did get a little dry but to be fair I did cut into it immediately as soon as I thought it was cooked. Had I planned for the timing (read: checked the weight of the chicken and done the cooking time calculator for a rough guide) I would have had let it rest, but 8 was creeping closer and if I'd had dinner any late it would have been heartburn city AGAIN.
2) the main rice of the wild rice mix was brown risotto rice which does make sense but I had cooked with it several times, been disappointed and not understood why. Including tonight. Luckily through all the disappointing times I had figured out it wanted more water and time, so I doubled the water and could have done with maybe just adding an extra half. The chicken was taking longer than anticipated though so I just let it cool a bit and dry out. It was only when I stirred it and it started thickening up like risotto that I realised what had been going wrong this and the last 2 times I'd tried to cook it. It was still good - the rice can do whatever it wants in this dish really, because there's going to be all of that gorgeous tomatoey fennely garlicky paprikaey broth getring in between the grains any way and in this case it actually helped the broth be less watery
3) the sheep's cheese was not the texture I expected and I almost left it out but I tried a bit then tried a bit of chicken and it made me happy dance so I just tore it up into little bits. I think maybe a crumblier more feta adjacent cheese would have been a better fit, but damn the cheese was nice enough to make up for the textural oddness.
Idk it's just something about how these pleasures, of good quality, varied and interesting ingredients are behind a fucking paywall. That anyone can look at another human being and tell them they don't deserve something like this. It's ridiculous that something so good, so warm, so human is denied to so many people in service of a system that treats humanity like an inconvenience.
It links for me to a lot of things. One of the things is how the whole cottage core influencer industry flattens things into lifestyle and consumption becomes about accumulation instead of being the basic thing of getting what you need to live and enjoy being alive.
Because when we decided that housing and food and safety and medicine and autonomy were not foundational things everyone could and should expect to receive, we decided that for beauty and pleasure and enjoying being alive. Which I cannot make sense of. I've read so much theory and thought about it to excess and I can't connect the dots between living life and having access to any of these things and looking at another person and deciding that they don't deserve the same?
Idk what the point of this is. We make such beautiful unique things. We have such beautiful unique pleasures. I cook in my messy, cramped, chaotic, dirty kitchen in my messy, cramped, chaotic, dirty flat and I make mistakes and I learn and I can do so little about my flat or the world but I can share some of that gentle joy around a bit at least?
0 notes
deadsetobsessions · 4 months
Text
Danny laid across his throne, legs planted across the left arm of the ornate chair and back pressed uncomfortably against the right.
"Listen," Danny started, letting his head flop to the side as he glared at a hovering Observant. "This meeting has wasted enough of my time. You all have been arguing for hours and that's without Clockwork slowing things down."
"Your Majesty, this is a matter of great importance. Belial means to overthrow and rule my-our world!"
"I am distinctly aware aware of that," Ancients, Danny couldn't wait to go home and rid himself of the formal speech he'd had to adopt in order to be taken seriously. Well, as seriously as he cared to be taken when sprawled across his throne instead of sitting on it intimidatingly or something. He slowly placed his gaze on the suddenly still demon sitting across from him. "Yet you've proposed fifteen different plans that were all unviable for whatever reasons you've cooked up. Your conclusion is that I must step in. Does your world not have heroes to take care of it?"
The demon- another lord of hell from this Belial’s universe- fell silent.
“Ah. But if they do, they would also take care of you.”
“No- no, that’s not-”
Danny allowed his voice to drop to the artic freeze he knew his core was capable of. "I opened these these doors to allow all of you to present me with reasonable concerns regarding your own universes and realms. What is not on the table for discussion is your petty politics. Do you think I am unaware of your intentions in tattling to me? That I do not know you are trying to use me to further your own position?"
"Your Majesty, I-" The demon growled out, fear slowly coating its expression.
"It no longer amuses me. You think that I am young and easy to manipulate." Danny froze the demon to its chair. It tried to break free, but Danny isn't the High King of the Infinite Realms for nothing. "Bring to me a miserable problem like this ever again, one that could be easily solved if you used even a smidgen of your intelligence, and you will find exactly how I tore Pariah Dark from his throne."
Not that Danny knew how he did it either, he just did it.
"Yes, Your Majesty. My-my apologies."
The room is dead (Danny patted himself on the back for the pun) silent. Some of the Ancients looked bored, like Clockwork who knew Danny would never hurt them, but everyone else looked close to crying. He held eye contact with the demon until it looked away.
When Danny settled back into the throne and allowed his ice to dissipate, the room let out a collective sigh of relief.
"The next item on the agenda is another demon, by the name of Trigon." Clockwork announced, the large piece of paper comically huge next to his currently toddler-like body.
"Another?"
He flicked an amused look at the previous demon, who kept his trap firmly shut.
"He is attempting to take over multiple worlds in an attempt to conquer the universe. I had thought you would be interested in this one, Your Majesty, as he plans to begin with Earth 135."
Danny stilled. That was his Earth. His haunt.
"Does he know of the Realms?"
"Vaguely, I believe."
"Then he should know the rules. I will wait to see if my Earth's heroes are capable to step to the task."
Danny would be a hypocrite if he doesn’t let the heroes of his Earth try first, even if he is one of those heroes.
"Of course," Clockwork grinned at him, fully aware of the shit Danny's about to stir back home. Ah, the wonders of being able to influence the time stream. Perhaps the young Ghost King will finally get some friends, and maybe get those pesky speedsters to stop making his jobs so hard. Cujo yipped at Danny as the King begrudgingly moved onto the next topic.
——
Raven shuddered as she watched the footage of her "brothers" laughing while steering their human "meatbags" around. She turned back to the giant circle of donated blood and herb filled candles.
“This is a nuclear option, don’t you think?” Green Arrow mumbled, clearly not against it by the half hearted way he’d said it. The Star City billionaire nursed his cracked ribs.
“No,” she floated over to where Zatanna and Constantine kneeled, trying to see if they needed help with the inscriptions. “Trigon is coming soon, and my brothers will no doubt find their way here in a moment. We are out of time.”
“Yeah. Plus, we don’t want Raven to be turned into a portal.” Garfield piped up, switching animal forms rapidly.
“No one dies.” Red Robin muttered. His wrist computer was open, monitoring the surroundings of the open field they found themselves uneasily occupying. Batman grunted in affirmation, eyeing the tree line. Every hero except the magical ones were on look out, preparing themselves for one more battle against the two demons that were trying to take Raven and force her into becoming a portal.
“Hey guys, we might want to hurrythisupbecausethey’re kind of close!” Impulse slammed into the room.
“Done.” Zatanna got up, motioning for everyone to step back. In Superman’s case, he floated back.
“Too bad you won’t get to use it,” a voice drawled, dripping with malice and the screams of a thousand souls.
“Come now, little sister. Why fight fate? Be grateful father has deigned to spare you. If not for your dirty blood being useful, you would be dead, little sister. Give up, before our patience runs out alongside the lives of your little pets.” Another, mocking, voice gleefully rumbled.
Raven would rather gouge out her own heart than to claim these two as any type of family.
“You won’t touch them.” Raven snarled, powers rising even as the marks on her body burned a painful red.
“Buy us some time!”
With that, the group of beaten and battered heroes rose to clash against just two demons, for a chance to save their world.
——
The Circle crackled. Danny felt a tug on his core. He followed the thread of the summoning. Oh. It was his haunt. Earth 135. Hm. It tasted of blood. Desperation? A hint of anticipation. Oh, an overload of fear. Could use some more hope, but Danny understood that it was rather hard to season these kinds of summonings with hope.
“Stop.” Danny commanded, straightening in his chair.
“Sire, we have more-”
“There is an issue with my haunt,” with that, he followed the summons.
——
“Ugh,” was the first thing everybody on the frozen battlefield heard. The demons had smacked away many of the heroes, but they all turned as one when the circle lit up a bright green. “Why do you people always use blood? I’m dead, I don’t need any more iron!”
A boy
Raven’s eldest brother let out a hideous rumble. “You fools tried to summon the king, and you got a dead boy. And now, you’ve doomed another.”
Constantine looked resigned, and regretful. “I am so, so sorry,” he whispered. It was just a kid. John might be a lot of things, but even he found summoning dead kids for demons to devour was just a step too far. “Shite, we got the wrong fucking-”
“Hey, man, that’s rude,” the boy snapped back, waving John off.
“Brother, kill the whelp.”
“I vote on not killing the whelp. Not killing at all, really,” the boy stepped out of the massive blood circle, wrinkling his nose at the drying stains.
“This is not one of your pesky democracies, fool.”
In response, the demons lunged at him, ignoring the screams of the surrounding heroes as they shoved their human arms through the boy’s stomach.
“So,” the boy continues, “I heard your dad was after my haunt?”
“Your haunt, whelp? This earth shall be his! And through him, ours!” Raven slammed against the demons with her power, shadows enlarging and tossing them away from the unharmed… ghost boy?
“Is it?”
——
Wow, these demons are so rude. Normally, it’d be a breath of fresh air compared to the stuffy halls of his throne room. But since they’re attacking his haunt…
“Thanks. You’re… Raven, right?”
Raven nodded, arms outstretched in concentration as she held her brothers back.
“You have to go. We’re- we’re sorry you got pulled into this, but it’s not safe here.”
“Eh. It’s cool. You don’t have to do that anymore, by the way.” Danny stepped forward once more, green skin shifting and gliding as everything about him sharpened. He flew at the demons piloting the human shells, catching them around the necks and dragging the demons out of their stolen bodies. The threw them even further away as he floated in the air, a beacon of green and white. Raven thought it looked like hope.
“My name is Phantom, the High King of the Infinite Realms,” let it be known that Danny always had an eye for dramatic entrances. He shifted into something more off, more eldritch, more kingly. The crown flared to life above his head. “You have invaded my haunt. You have challenged me. What do you plead?”
“You’re not-” they said.
“Wrong answer,” Danny flew at them once more, body contorting into something undeniably terrorizing, his maw unhinging and crunching down on the demons with a sound that made the present heroes cringe.
“Ugh,” Danny grunted, turning back and floating peacefully to the group of heroes- Tucker and Sam would be so stoked he met Wonder Woman and Batman!- and chewed rapidly. He shifted back into his normal form. “Eating demons always leaves me with indigestion. And their bones get everywhere up in my teeth!” Danny pulled out a giant femur looking bone from his mouth, despite it not logically fitting in there.
“Right. No eating demons, solid life advice.” Red Robin said.
“Right? So, you’re Raven! It’s nice to meet you! Think you can summon your dear ol’ dad for me?”
“But we summoned you to stop Trigon, not help him come here.” Superman said, frowning.
“One! That summoning circle is wack. Those things you piled up as offerings? Mid. Also, if you thought you could control me with those terribly written spells, you’re dead wrong. And yes, I am making puns about death.” Danny jabs an aggressive finger towards the shabby circle.
“Have you considered that maybe not every being that can be summoned wants a shit ton of useless blood? Like what if I wanted food? And two, how am I supposed to beat up Trigon if he’s still stuck in the prison realm?”
“I have a cup of coffee,” Nightwing offered. “Kid Flash could probably get you food, right?”
“Yep, surethinganythingyouwantyourMajesty.”
“You wouldn’t catch me alive accepting food from a speedster. You people fuck up the timelines so much,” Danny grumbled, crunching on the last of Raven’s brothers. Raven thought she should probably sit down.
“But you’re dead.” Batman said, something about his voice catching the sharp attention of his protégés who all started making cutting motions at him.
“Fair,” Danny pointed at him, grinning. “I’ll take two pizza and Nightwing’s coffee as payment for taking care of your little demon overlord problem. Raven, summon your dad.”
——
Didn’t much like the characterization of this piece but it’s been in my drafts for a while and I needed it out
4K notes · View notes
lemonlover1110 · 15 days
Text
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒
Toji Fushiguro
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing: Actor!Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader
Warnings: MDNI!, smut, oral sex (m. receiving), spitting, vaginal sex, creampie, angst, family fluff, toji has like 50 kids (4) and tries to be a good dad
Summary: Toji's selfishness is getting in the way of your family. When he notices that your family is slowly falling apart, he does what he can to hold it together.
*Actually a long oneshot! for @ayyy-pee's collab
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
Tumblr media
“ACTOR TOJI FUSHIGURO SPOTTED GETTING A LITTLE TOO COZY WITH NEW CO-STAR”
The headlines are everywhere, it’s nearly impossible for you to ignore them. It’s not only the headlines but the pictures, the videos, the talk shows, the clear chemistry between them– And if that isn’t enough, the messages and calls you receive asking if you’re okay, are driving you insane. You don’t know how much more you can take of this.
Toji wanted to venture out of his usual villain role, wanting to do something more lighthearted, more fun. Whenever he’d audition for anything where he wasn’t the bad guy, he would get a simple answer: you’re not the guy we’re looking for. Truth is, Toji is too intimidating and lacks the look of the perfect picture man that they’re looking to cast in romcoms. You aren’t going to lie and say that you were bothered by this, because in fact, you were glad he wasn’t.
As selfish as it sounds, you were happy with the fact that Toji was getting stuck in the same villain roles. He’s already famous enough, and you have more than enough money, he doesn’t really need the lead role since it means that he’ll spend even more time away from his family. But you lie to yourself because if he got the lead in any other movie, you’d be ecstatic for him. 
The dreaded day came, and Toji got a call from his agent. An offer for a lead role in a new and upcoming romcom. It was hard for you to be happy for him, even though your husband was so excited to venture out of his usual character. ‘He’s going to kiss someone else’ was the first thought that came into your mind, and then you realized that movies nowadays are so much more explicit than just a kiss. 
Toji wasn’t supposed to, but he told you about a couple of things in the movie. He was so excited, and he couldn’t keep a thing from his wife. He told you of the characters, the plot, the scenes he was most excited about and the scenes he was worried about– The steamy scenes where Toji will be stripped to nothing with his tongue down another woman’s throat. 
Jealousy would consume you for the next months, realizing that your husband is going to pretend to be with some other woman; however, you can’t be too mad, since it’s all just happening in front of a camera. You’re the only woman Toji loves, you know so. You shouldn’t take this too seriously.
Until the relationship came off the cameras because the pair has undeniable chemistry, and the directors thought that hinting they were having an affair would make for great promo. You nearly begged Toji not to do it, but he didn’t listen. He wants to ensure the movie’s success, which you understand but it’s humiliating for you and your family.
You’re upset with him, and Toji knows this, but he’s allowed to be selfish. He’s wanted this, and he’ll do just about anything to make sure everything goes smoothly, he can risk having you mad at him for a few months. Although, he’ll admit that it sucks because you’re so cold with him.
“How about we take the kids and go out for dinner tonight?” Toji asks, watching as you get out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel. He wants to go on a date with just the two of you, but he also misses his kids. It doesn’t matter what Toji suggests either way, because you ignore him. He clears his throat, repeating, “How about we go out for dinner?”
“Huh?” You respond, acting as if you hadn’t heard him before, and Toji doesn’t know whether to laugh or roll his eyes. Toji repeats the question a third time and you proceed to answer, “I’m going out tonight, I can’t.”
“What are you and the kids doing?” Toji questions, wondering why he wasn’t invited. He guesses he knows why, but you should’ve at least tried to make the effort since it involves your kids.
“I’m going out, the kids are staying with the nanny.” You tell him, which makes his eyebrows perk up. Toji stands up from the bed, walking over to you. He hugs you from behind, planting a kiss on your shoulder.
“How about we–” He begins but you proceed to cut him off before he can even finish his sentence.
“I’m going out with friends. Without you.” You answer, removing Toji’s arms from your waist. You walk to the closet to find your outfit for the night, and Toji can’t seem to leave you alone, following behind you like a lost puppy. 
“You don’t have to be so cold.” He argues, and you pay no attention to him. You were clear that you didn’t want this to go this far, yet he let it happen. You can be as mad as you want to be with him. “What are you planning to do anyway? Cause a scandal to get back at me?”
“I’m allowed to have fun, am I not, Toji?” You respond. You simply want to go out without thinking of your husband and all the embarrassment his job is bringing. If it causes a scandal, then so be it.
“Then why are you so set on going alone?” He replies, and you scoff. You can’t believe the audacity.
“I just want to be away from you because you humiliate me.” You finally look at him, shooting him a glare. It shouldn’t hurt because he’s caused his own problems, but it still hurts to hear that from his wife, “I was upset about the movie, sure, but I knew you wanted to do it so I bit my tongue. This publicity stunt is too far, and I told you not to do it over and over again, but you did it. Fine. You’re an adult.”
“And? You know it’s not real.” He argues, which only ticks you off more. You won’t raise your voice because your children are wide awake, and you don’t want them to hear as you yell at their father.
“Do you know how many pity messages I’ve gotten? The amount of calls? I’m just the poor victim to all of them, and also the stupid woman that won’t leave her husband.” You respond, and he opens his mouth to argue that it’ll be over soon. In a couple of months the truth will come to light and everything will go back to normal. “The kids are getting teased about it too. Megumi is old enough to know it’s a stunt, but the other three aren’t.”
“What do you mean the two year old and five year old are also affected by this?” He questions in a mocking tone, which tells you that he isn’t fully believing you. You feel your blood boil, and you take a deep breath to keep yourself calm. You’re not letting him get the best of you.
“Well, considering that the ten year old can’t keep his mouth shut and tells the other two that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce, I’d say yes, they are affected by this.” You try to remain stoic, keeping your voice low and calm. Toji bites down his lip, his eyes going wide at the realization that his ten year old refusing to talk to him wasn’t just a simple tantrum. “I tried to tell him that everything is fine between us, but he didn’t exactly believe me.”
“Is that why they’re refusing to talk to me?” Toji’s demeanor changes, becoming somber in a matter of seconds. You end up shrugging, not really knowing why your son is acting the way he is, but you can only assume it’s because of it. 
“I’m not sure. Probably.” You don’t care to really find a solution to his problems since you’re upset with him too. He needs to realize that his actions not only affect him but also his family. You watch as the man walks over to the bed to take a seat and think of what to do with this new piece of information. And while you’re mad at him, you still love him and want to help him out one way or another. You focus on getting yourself ready while you tell him, “How about you take them out tonight? Explain to them that everything is fine between us and–”
“Will you come with us?” He interrupts you, making you click your tongue.
“I’m going out, you can deal with the issues that you’ve caused, alone.” You answer, and Toji furrows his eyebrows. He knows that he can’t exactly be too mad at you because you’re right, he caused his own problems. “Take them somewhere to eat, watch a movie with them, play with them. I don’t know. I’m laying it all out for you, Toji. You can decide what’s best.”
“What about you?” He asks, and you don’t even care to entertain him, sitting in front of your vanity to do your makeup. Toji has to repeat himself, and you sigh.
“Figure it out.” 
Tumblr media
“Ryo, are you ready?!” Toji yells down the hallway, but his ten-year-old doesn’t answer. Toji simply goes ignored, and the man tries to remain calm. Getting mad isn’t going to do him any good, yelling angrily at his son isn’t going to make Ryo any less mad. 
You left around thirty minutes ago, and Toji spent the entire time trying to convince you to stay; however, his efforts were in vain. You didn’t care enough to listen which shouldn’t really shock him, he’s still upset though. After you left, he began getting his daughters ready to go out, telling his sons to put on something comfortable since they’re going out to dinner.
Now that both of his girls are ready, he’s simply waiting on his sons. Toji knows that Megumi is somewhat ready, but he isn’t sure about Ryo. 
“Aimi, baby, can you wait downstairs while I check on your brother?” Toji asks his five-year-old, and she nods in response. Toji has to talk to his son alone, but he can’t do so with the two-year-old that’s on his hip. He knows that Aimi isn’t going to cause any trouble, but the little one that he holds is either going to get hurt or cause a big mess. He’s dismissed the nanny, and he can’t exactly leave her alone with Aimi. 
Before making his way to Ryo’s room, Toji walks over to Megumi’s door. He harshly knocks on the door and puts Emi down in front of it, as if Toji were the stork himself. Emi is about to run after her papa but Megumi opens the door, and she squeals when she sees her beloved older brother.
“What?!” Megumi yells down the hallway when he spots his father. Megumi picks up Emi from the floor, ensuring that she doesn’t run away.
“I’m going to talk to Ryo! Make sure she doesn’t get hurt!” Toji responds, and Megumi sighs. Not that he particularly minds, but Toji could’ve at the very least waited until Megumi had her in his arms. Megumi clicks his tongue, shaking his head in disappointment before telling his sister,
“What are we going to do with him?” And she shrugs in response.
“I don’t know.” She answers, which makes Megumi laugh. He walks out of the room and goes downstairs to join his other sister. 
Toji stands in front of Ryo’s door. He knocks but he’s met with no response. Toji isn’t willing to respect his kids’ privacy, not when he pays for everything they have. Toji opens the door to the room, finding Ryo in his pajamas, playing with his console. Perhaps this would be the perfect time to have a heart-to-heart with his son, explain everything that’s going on– But would Toji really think of that right away?
“Change. We’re going out.” It’s an order, and Ryo doesn’t like it. He’s about to ignore Toji but Toji snatches the console that’s in the boy’s hands. “Don’t act like a fucking brat. Change. We’ve taught you better.”
“I’m staying with mom.” Ryo mutters, angrily getting out of bed to do as his father says. Toji won’t lie and say that the words don’t hurt him, but he remains stoic. 
“Hurry up. Your siblings are waiting.” Toji says before leaving the room, the console in his hand. He has to hide it before leaving.
Tumblr media
“No more.” Emi pushes her plate away after taking a few bites of the food she ordered. She’s barely eaten, Toji wants to make sure that at the very least she finishes a chicken tender. 
“Can you at least finish this, please? You’ve barely eaten, princess.” Toji asks her, but she shakes her head. Toji has to find a way to bribe her, but first he has to deal with Megumi and Aimi who bicker about… Something.
“Chew with your mouth closed, don’t be gross.” Megumi corrects her, but Aimi isn’t going to listen to someone who isn’t her mother… Occasionally she listens to Toji, but it’s rare.
“I don’t care!” She yells, and Toji’s face slowly gets red with embarrassment. People are slowly looking at the table– It’s funny because he really thought that having Megumi here would be useful. Instead, he’s yelling back and forth with his five-year-old sister.
“You’re nasty, Aimi!”
“Your face is nasty!”
“Will you two quiet down?!” Toji half yells. His eyes linger on Megumi, “Remind me how old you are.”
“Sixteen.” Megumi answers, reality setting in when he says his age. His cheeks slowly turn pink as he waits for his father to say his next sentence.
“And you’re arguing with a five-year-old? Loudly, in a restaurant, dare I add.” Toji says, and Megumi pushes his plate away because he’s suddenly lost his appetite. Toji hadn’t realized just how hard it was to deal with all four kids without any help– Well, three kids since Ryo isn’t talking. He’s not doing anything. Toji clears his throat before asking, “Do you like the food, Ryo?”
Ryo doesn’t answer, and it’s slowly driving Toji to his limit. He’s talking to everybody but Toji, the moment Toji addresses him, he goes silent. Toji looks at Megumi and points at Emi, “Get your sister to eat.”
“Ryo, talk to me. Your mom and I are fine.” Toji claims, but Ryo doesn’t say anything because things clearly aren’t fine– After all, everyone is talking about it. Toji is essentially ruining the family by running off with his co-star.
“Ryo, do you want my leftovers?” Aimi asks her big brother and he hums in response, taking the plate from her. Toji takes a deep breath to remain calm. Ryo technically didn’t even say a word, he just hummed in response, Toji can’t be mad about that. Then Aimi asks, “Do you think daddy will get dessert? I think they have ice cream.”
“The key lime pie is better, plus we have ice cream at home.” Ryo argues and Toji gets an idea on how to get his son to talk to him.
“Do you really want the key lime pie? I thought you liked cheesecake better.” Toji comments, and Ryo doesn’t answer. He proceeds to talk to his little sister, and Toji can’t take it. He slams his hand on the table and causes a scene, “For fuck’s sake, Ryo! Don’t ignore me!”
If all eyes weren’t on them before, they definitely are now. The cherry on top is Megumi who tells Emi, “See, he’s going to do that to you if you don’t finish what’s on your plate.”
Emi begins to cry her little heart out, and Toji lets out the biggest sigh. Curse the day he decided to have kids.
“I’m not going to do anything to you, Emi.” Toji says, but she’s crying and stuffing her face out of fear. Everyone is looking at him, some people surely recognize him. At least this fits the narrative that his family is falling apart, and while it was all a stunt at first, it’s starting to feel real.
It’s his fault, he can’t blame anyone else but himself.
“Finish up, we’re going home.” Toji sounds defeated, and he is. Taking the kids out to dinner should not be this hard. 
“What about dessert?” Aimi’s voice is filled with disappointment.
“Dessert isn’t happening because you kids don’t know how to behave.” Toji answers, and Aimi crosses her arms, a pout on her lips. Toji wanted to make things better with his kids, but unknowingly, he’s made them worse.
Tumblr media
“Night, night, princess.” Toji kisses Aimi’s forehead, but she doesn’t care to even acknowledge him. She doesn’t say anything, turning to her side so she doesn’t have to look at him. Toji sighs, “You’re ignoring me too, huh?”
She doesn’t say anything, which doesn’t really upset Toji. She’s just mad that she didn’t get dessert, tomorrow she’ll be fine with him again. He kisses her temple before telling her, “I love you.”
He knows waiting for an answer is useless, so he turns off the lamp and walks out of the door. Aimi will eventually get out of bed and run after him to apologize because she feels bad since she loves her daddy so much. 
Toji closes the door, and he looks for Ryo’s console. Once the console is in his hand, Toji goes to his son’s room. Toji doesn’t bother knocking because he knows he won’t get a response. Ryo has the lights turned off, trying to sleep since there’s nothing better for him to do. But Toji knows that the child isn’t sleeping, he’s just like you, he tosses and turns a million times in the night before actually succumbing to slumber.
“Here’s the console, kiddo. Thanks for going out with us tonight.” Toji says, putting the console on Ryo’s dresser before walking over to his side to press a kiss on Ryo’s temple. Toji hears some sniffling coming from his son, which makes the man want to fall to his knees and cry as well. 
Toji has four kids, he’s heard them cry many times before for trivial things. He’s never really felt this before with one of them because he really wasn’t at fault. He was doing things for their own good… But this time he’s doing all of this for his own selfish reasons. 
“My baby boy, please talk to me.” Toji kneels down by the bed, hoping that his son will finally say something to him. It’s killing him slowly, he just wants to talk to him. Toji doesn’t want his kid to hate him, but it feels like Ryo is slowly getting there.
“I don’t want you and mommy to get a divorce.” Ryo finally speaks up, and Toji’s heart breaks when he hears him call you mommy, considering Ryo started calling you mom the day he turned eight. Toji stops kneeling, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. 
“Everything is fine between me and your mommy.” Toji says although it’s hard to believe. They’re not fine, but you’re not getting a divorce either. “We just have to talk things out, but we’re not getting a divorce.”
“All of my friends are talking about you and how you two will end up splitting.” Ryo finally sits up on the bed, and Toji doesn’t really understand why this is even a topic of conversation for Ryo’s friends, but it is and Toji has to deal with it. “And it’s your fault.”
It is, Toji can’t really say otherwise. But he isn’t splitting up the family– At least not by having an affair like the news claim.
“Ryo, I promise you that your mom and I are not splitting up.” Toji tries to reassure his son, but Toji isn’t all too sure himself. “We are having some issues, but it’s not because of what your friends are telling you. What they’re telling you is not real.”
“But–” He’s about to keep going but Toji has to cut him off. Toji can’t keep defending himself, he keeps using the same argument over and over again and he doesn’t know how many times he can actually say the same words.
“Did you ask your mommy about this?” Toji asks, and his son nods in response. Ryo has asked a million times and you always have the same answer. 
“Yeah… She said that you two were okay.” He replies, yet he doesn’t believe a single word of it. Toji is growing frustrated, but he can’t let it show. His whole job is to pretend to be someone else, to act out certain feelings and suppress the actual emotions that run through his body, he should be able to do that, right?
“Then why don’t you believe us? Your friends don’t know what’s happening in our relationship.” Toji points out, but that’s not enough for Ryo.
“I know mommy was lying.” 
“What do you mean? Did she tell you she was lying?” Toji’s confused. Ryo is ten, he’s not smart enough to spot a lie, especially from you. You’re a damn good actress, when you show your emotions it’s on purpose, and Toji doubts you were purposely showing your emotions.
“I was going to ask her something and I saw her crying…” Ryo confesses, and Toji furrows his eyebrows. He’s certainly hasn’t heard that, but Toji clears his throat before arguing,
“You do know that your mom has a completely different life and she could’ve been crying for something that doesn’t involve me, right?” Toji is sure that the crying had to do with him, but he isn’t going to let that be known. Ryo nods in response, since what his father says does make sense. Toji ruffles his son’s hair before kissing his forehead, “Next time you’re mad at me, don’t give me the silent treatment.”
“I won’t.” Ryo answers, although neither of them are too sure that he’ll keep up with his word. Toji stands up and gives the gaming console to his son, and Ryo wastes no time in taking it. 
“You can stay up late tonight.” Toji tells him, which puts a smile on his face. Toji also walks away with a smile on his lips, feeling victorious after getting his son to talk to him. Toji exits the room, gently shutting the door behind him.
Toji begins his walk to Megumi’s room, planning to check up on him. However, when his hand touches the doorknob, he feels a pair of tiny arms wrap around his leg. He looks down to find his five-year-old hugging him. He chuckles, “What’s up, Aimi?”
“Papa, I’m sorry. I love you too.” Tears are streaming down her face, feeling guilty about not telling her daddy that she loves him back. Toji picks her up from the ground, wiping her tears away and kissing her cheek.
“My little princess, I’ll get you some ice cream tomorrow.” He assures her, rubbing her back. She continues to wipe her tears because once they begin, they’re hard to stop. He takes her back to her room, reads her a story and puts her to bed once again. 
Toji continues what he was doing, checking up on his kids before going to bed himself. He waits for you, but it gets late. His eyes are closing on their own and before he knows it, he falls asleep. He’s getting old.
Tumblr media
“Toji, baby–” You’re calling out to him. It takes a moment for him to open his eyes, but they open rapidly when he feels you kissing his cheeks. It’s definitely nice to feel you kissing him after barely acknowledging him the last couple of days. Still, he can’t help but question,
“Are you drunk?” You keep kissing him. He doesn’t smell any alcohol on your breath, but that doesn’t really answer anything. He feels your hand go down his torso to his sweatpants. You’re just incredibly horny, that’s a good enough reason. Your hand goes to his sweatpants, wrapping around the base of his cock before lazily stroking it. “What happened to you? What have you done to my wife?”
“I just need you. Need you so bad.” You say in between kisses. Your lips are on his neck, and Toji really can’t complain. He misses your touch so much– But what the hell happened to you? You were barely talking to him a couple of hours ago; either you’re on something or something happened to you.
“What happened, baby?” He stops you. Your hand comes out of his hands and you get on top of him. Your lips go on his, your tongue quickly entering his mouth and pressing against his. You’re avoiding the answer, and Toji grows worried. You’re grinding on him, and it’s hard for him to have a clear mind when all the blood rushes to his dick. He doesn’t remember the last time he touched you. You’ve been so mad at him that you shut him down the moment that he initiates something.
Toji wants to enjoy it, and his body is but his mind thinks about the fact that nothing has been solved. He’s not done anything to apologize to you, so he immediately thinks that you’ve done something. It takes every bit of him to push you away even though he doesn’t want to. You’re so gorgeous while you’re on top of him like this, that he doesn’t want to ask the question but he has to, “What did you do?”
“What do you mean what did I do?” You furrow your brows, and Toji clicks his tongue. He can’t believe that you’re initiating something and he’s stopping it. One week ago he would’ve been beating himself up for passing up on this opportunity, but he has to know why you changed your mind. 
“You’ve been mad at me, and now you’re all over me when I haven’t apologized.” Toji points out, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. That confirms that you’ve done something bad, and his heart beat speeds up, thinking of the worst.
“I met a guy…” You begin and Toji’s heart breaks. He doesn’t need to hear the rest of it because he knows. Tears well up in his eyes and he tries to take a deep breath. Yeah, he knew his actions would have consequences but not this. “We flirted a bit, just having fun and then he invited me back to his place–”
“You don’t have to–” Toji is about to cut you off, and he’s reasonably thinking the worst.
“I didn’t go back with him. I remembered the amazing husband I have, how much I love him, how amazing he is at everything he does. I wasn’t going to risk losing you even though I’m mad at you.” You have to interrupt him before he gets into his head. You press a subtle kiss on his jaw before your lips go to his ear, “But if you see some headlines tomorrow, don’t get mad at me.”
“You scared the shit out of me.” He chuckles. He guesses he’s getting a taste of his own medicine, but he’s not mad after his initial scare. Your lips go back on his, but they don’t last long before moving down his neck and torso. Your mouth kisses to his nipple, your tongue circling around it which makes him bite down his lip. 
Toji is sensitive. Just about anything will make him cum. You continue to kiss down his body until his sweatpants obstruct your path. You desperately push them down, while Toji reaches for the lamp to turn it on. He has a particular love for watching you while you take care of him.
Your hand wraps around the base while you spit on his cock. You stroke his cock a couple of times before your tongue circles the tip of his cock. You take your time working him up before you lower your mouth on his cock, taking in as much as you can take.
If Toji had known that this is how his night would’ve ended by letting you go out, he wouldn’t have tried to talk you out of it. A pathetic moan leaves his lips, feeling your warm mouth wrapped around him. He’s missed this, fuck. 
He wants to push your head down, forcing you to take all of him– Which he normally does, but it’s not going to end well. Toji knows well that you’ll stop, and he won’t risk that tonight. This is a sweet treat that he doesn’t deserve, he’s not going to risk losing it. 
You try to take all of him in your mouth either way, tears building up in your eyes as you gag, eventually spilling and messing up the makeup that was already coming apart. This is what Toji loves, watching the makeup that you work so hard on, fall apart just for him. And you do it because you want to. Because you love the taste of him on your tongue.
You take him out of your mouth, using your hand to stroke his cock. Toji’s moaning with your every touch, it’s hard not to. You’re just so fucking perfect with everything you do that it’s hard for him to contain himself.
“Baby, please–” He sounds so pathetic. Toji is usually much meaner in this situation, but circumstances have obviously changed. He just wants to feel your mouth wrapped around his cock. “Use your mouth, baby. Please–”
“How can I say no to you?” You chuckle before your mouth wraps around his cock again. You take as much as you can take, your hand stroking what your mouth can’t reach. He’s shutting his eyes, moaning your name as his climax approaches. 
His cum hits the back of your throat, and you raise your head. You swallow it, sticking your tongue out so he can check it. Toji sits up, his hand going down to your chin, thumb into your mouth. The bit of submissiveness that you had witnessed quickly fades. 
“Who’s my good girl?” He asks, your tongue circling around his thumb. He wants to know what happened that has you so aroused, but as long as you didn’t get physical, he doesn’t care. He takes his thumb out, a string of your saliva connecting it to your lips. He orders, “Open your mouth.”
As soon as your mouth opens, he spits in it. You don’t waste a second before swallowing. Toji lips meet yours again, his tongue messily entering your mouth and pressing against yours. You readjust your legs, knees on either side of him. You’re grinding on him again, and the man pulls away from the kiss, not doing so without biting your lip first. 
“You want me to fuck you, baby? You need me?” He asks as you push your panties to the side. You’re aligning him with your entrance, softly moaning as you push yourself down on him. You can’t wait any longer, you desperately need him. You softly moan as he fills you up, your eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head. You’re sure no one will ever feel as good as Toji.
“Was thinking so much about you, baby. I missed you, Toji.” You moan, throwing your head back. You give yourself a moment to get adjusted to him before moving back and forth on his cock. His cock brushes your sweet spot, driving you insane. 
Toji shuts his eyes, getting lost in the moment. He’s missed you so much too, but he can’t speak right now because he’s groaning. He can’t believe that he’s gone so long without you… He shouldn’t have agreed to doing that publicity stunt in the first place. 
“You feel so fucking good, baby.” Toji moans, his hands going to your hips as you move on him. He hands roam, looking for the zipper of your dress, pulling it down so he can take your dress off you. His lips go to yours, your moans translating into his lips. 
You’re bouncing on him, his lips going down to suck on your neck. You let your moans roam into the air, feeling overwhelmed with how good you’re feeling. Toji barely even tries and he makes you feel euphoric. Maybe you were having second thoughts, but then you remembered just how perfect your husband is.
Toji pulls out, putting you down on the bed. He puts your legs on his shoulders before sliding back into you. He sets the pace, much faster than how you were going. Your hands are gripping the bed sheets, loudly moaning as your husband pounds into you.
“You’re so perfect, baby. You’re everything to me.” He praises you while one hand goes to play with your clit. You’re almost at your limit, and he feels it as your cunt squeezes around him. He says through gritted teeth, “You’re so fucking tight.”
“Oh fuck, Toji– I’m gonna–” You announce, so close to reaching your peak. 
“I know, baby– fuck, I know.” He groans. You’re driving him insane, it’s the effect that you have on him after not being with him for a while. God knows he needed this.
You loudly moan his name, your legs quivering when you reach your high. It’s hard for you to last when his cock reaches deep, and reaches all the right spots. Toji can’t help but praise you when you come, “That’s my good girl, that’s my fucking good girl.”
Toji’s thrusts begin to get sloppy, even though he wants to stay buried inside you for as long as he can. His hands hold on to your hips, nails digging into your soft flesh. 
“Inside of me, baby, do it inside me.” You tell him, knowing he’s nearing his release. You need to feel his warmth in every possible way, and Toji isn’t going to turn you down, certainly not with this. 
Toji comes to a stop, groaning before filling you up with his warm cum. He stays buried inside of you until making sure every droop is inside of you. His lips go down to yours, kissing you as he pulls out. 
“I’ve missed you, love.” He says before you both get comfortable in bed. You’ll wait a minute before going to the bathroom to clean yourself up. 
“For the record, I’m still mad at you.” You say before kissing his cheek, causing him to laugh. You stand up, walking to the bathroom to take a shower before going to bed, and he follows behind because he’s truly lost without you. 
“You’re here late.” He points out, unsure of what to say next.
“When you don’t have the kids with you, things go surprisingly smooth… Speaking of, how was your night?” You get in the shower, and Toji is staring. He’s watching every single one of your movements, even when he tries to tear his eyes away, he can’t. You're just so perfect in every way, how can he look away?
“Why did we have so many kids? They made the night so difficult.” Toji shares, and he hears you laugh. It’s no surprise to you, you’ve handled the kids on your own so many times before, and you always swear that you won’t even think of having another one– But then Emi comes to you with her teddy bear and begs for cuddles which makes you reconsider.
“Welcome to my world.” You respond, and Toji chuckles. He lightly bites down his lip, debating if he wants to go back to bed. He really doesn’t, so he decides to join you in your shower.
“So you’re less mad?” He asks, grabbing your sponge and pouring some body wash on it. Toji kisses your shoulder before he begins lightly scrubbing your body. You hum in response, and he can only wonder what you were up to– But he can’t complain. He couldn’t care less what you were doing as long as you’re not mad at him.
“I’m still upset though, don’t get me wrong.” You say as you take the sponge from his hand and use it on him. You peck his lips before muttering, “My husband has still been misbehaving, I won’t forgive him so easily.”
Toji doesn’t know how to come back from that so easily, so he ponders his answer. He helps you clean up.
“I talked to Ryo.” Toji announces, and you cock your eyebrow. Before you can ask about the details, Toji explains everything to you, ending off his sentence with, “Why were you crying?”
“Life gets tough when your husband is allegedly cheating on you.” You answer, and Toji bites his tongue. You have said a million times how you hate this arrangement, and Toji has been too selfish to consider your emotions. It’s not like you’ve been silent about how much you hate this. He can’t exactly be too mad at the fact that you’ve been ignoring him when it’s deserved. 
“I’m sorry, baby.” Is all he manages to say. You turn off the water, and get out of the shower, Toji following your lead again, even though he’s barely washed himself. You have your towel wrapped around him, while he opts out of getting his towel.
“I think you’ll need a bigger apology, but I guess sex is good too.” You answer, but that’s not enough for him.
“I’ll call my agent and tell him that it’s off.” He says, and you stop in your tracks.
“No! You’ve already done this much, the premiere is soon. Stick with it for now and just clear up your name after.” You’re quick to object. That movie better do great after all you’ve been through for this. You’ve suffered for months, you can put up with some more judgment for another month or so.
“But now I feel horrible.” He responds, and you sigh. “I want to apologize.”
You take a couple of steps toward him, your hands meeting behind his neck. You kiss his lips before telling him, “Another little Emi will suffice.”
“Woman, how dare you?! After the night I’ve had, that thought makes my dick flaccid. Don’t you ever suggest having more kids!” He argues, and you look down. His words certainly don’t match his feelings.
“Are you sure about that?” You ask him, and he sighs. He isn’t going to lie to you, and he isn’t going to tell you that you’re right, so he does the next best thing, picking you up and carrying you to the bed.
You have a long night of apologies ahead of you.
2K notes · View notes
ridleymocki · 7 months
Text
(seeing so many bad faith interpretations of the argument, y'all are really going to make me do this, okay HERE WE GO)
.................................
What Ed says: "I think last night was a mistake. I'm not ready for... Whatever this is."
What Ed means: "I didn't want last night to happen so soon or under those circumstances. Things are changing rapidly, which makes me feel out of control and scared."
What Stede hears: "I regret sleeping with you. I don't want the sort of relationship that you're after."
.................................
What Stede says: "It was a fine fish. It was... whatever. I was just trying to make you feel good!"
What Stede means: "I only cared about the fish because you cared about it, and I care about you. I liked the fish because it made you happy. Ordinarily, I'm ambivalent about fish."
What Ed hears: "I lied to you. I didn't care about your achievement I was just placating you to get what I wanted."
.................................
What Ed says: "Here's the news: I'm leaving. I got a job on a little fishing boat and I'm leaving. I'm a fisherman now."
What Ed means: "I think I need to be away from you to figure out who I am, because I haven't been able to do that while we're together, and your lifestyle now is the life I'm trying to leave behind."
What Stede hears: "I've made a decision to leave you and have a life without you. I don't value what we have enough to work with you to find a solution, I'd prefer to end it."
.................................
What Stede says: "Oh, Ed. Seriously? You're not a fisherman."
What Stede means: "I think you're using this plan to escape and avoid your problems. It sounds like you're pretending to be someone else. It seems to me like an impulsive decision and I am concerned."
What Ed hears: "I don't support this ambition. I think you're incapable. I don't think you can be different from what you have always been."
.................................
This is the kind of analysis done in therapeutic environments. When I put what they mean, it's not just a rephrasing but a boiling down to the core issue. I could go on to the rest of the dialogue but do you see the continuing ship-in-the-night miscommunication?? It's tripartite:
failing to express one's current emotional reality with the most accurate and clear language, often because that reality is not fully understood to oneself,
misinterpreting the other's language, due to preexisting sensitivities and defensiveness about one's own understanding of the situation,
increasing frustration and sense of personal attack that results from those misinterpretations, which perpetuates and worsens the poor communication.
Importantly, this kind of pattern means you miss the best and most important kernels of communication in an exchange because you're reacting to the more inflammatory parts.
Stede: "This can be whatever we want it to be." (I am willing to make changes to our arrangement so that you're happy). Ed: "I don't even know who I am! Alright? I know I don't want to be a pirate. And you, you're blowing up, you're the toast of the town." (I think we want different things. You're just starting a journey that I've already finished).
With those two bits alone they could've sorted this out. The first is the answer to the second. But they didn't -- couldn't -- latch onto it because all their other baggage was getting in the way.
And I'm being proven correct that this is what is happening, because I have seen next to nothing on here about the above two lines, only reactionary takes of fans also focusing on the inflammatory parts because of their predispositions. You're doing an encore performance of what they're doing.
Point being, there are no bad guys in this scene, just repeated system failure!
4K notes · View notes
straawberries · 4 months
Text
gonna make another post since that usually helps with reach
teehee poll for reach. please read the rest of this if you can
HI IM DELILAH AND IVE GOT LESS THAN 4 MONTHS BEFORE IM HOMELESS WITH NO OPTIONS FOR PLACES TO LIVE
heeyyy its me delilah. im an autistic plural trans girl with ptsd, and im living in an abusive household with my adoptive "father" that absolutely hates me. in less than 4 months, i am going to be kicked out, and i am trying to raise the money i need to survive this event.
ive been trying, pretty much every chance i get, to get a job, but i think because of this shitty small town in texas, everyone already knows who i am and nobody wants to hire me. this means i have to rely on stuff like this.
by JUNE 1ST 2024, i need to make enough money to move out, or else... well, i dont really know what will happen to me (other than vague "homelessness"), but im really scared that it wont end well.
on top of that im rarely being fed enough which is seriously fucking with my mood and making me feel like shit, so im having to balance saving and eating which.. with the money im currently getting, is not very sustainable. other than a few people giving a lot (who i am eternally thankful for and if youre able to do this i would basically do anything for you) im basically getting zero donations.
i get that this kind of stuff is annoying and maybe a bit slow, but just taking a few seconds, maybe a minute or two at most, to give me a small amount of money, would be a hell of a lot more helpful than doing nothing.
C*SH*PP - @delilahswagga
P*YP*L - @delilahkill
Tumblr media
plenty of people use stuff like this to scam, so heres some info about me if you doubt that this is true. (copy pasted from previous post)
i have a really big love for performing, i fell in love with theatre years ago and performed the addams family musical as fester about a month ago as my biggest role on stage yet, and right now im in the process of getting ready for antigone as teiresius. i love music, and its one of my life goals to learn as many instruments as possible, and currently i own quite a few, though my favorites are my two ukuleles and my super cool electric guitar. i have 8 partners at the moment, and i have a very big desire to one day live with as many of them as i can. i pride myself on being the best partner i can be, and its been my goal to make all my partner's lives better (and i think ive been doing a good job at it :3)
i love cats an extreme amount, ive never had a cat myself (because my dad is insane and hates cats and tries to hit cats with his truck) but being around cats makes me super happy and always makes my anxieties go away, even when im having an anxiety attack or a panic attack. i really hope i can get a few cats one day, and i want to give them all silly food names :) my fursona is kind of a reflection of that, her name is bagel. some cat names ive thought of are mochi, chili, Supreme Pizza, or maybe french fry :)
im not sure if ill be able to achieve any of my goals if i dont get the financial support i need. ive been.. really close to giving up recently, but i dont want to have to do that, so im going to fight like this for as long as i can.
2K notes · View notes
helluvapoison · 4 months
Text
Lend A Helping Hand
Lucifer, Adam, Lute, Vaggie and Husk need help preening
warnings: possible innacurate bird knowledge, heaven headcanons (also probably innacurate) illusions to sexual behavior but it’s not
[ii]
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
˚✧₊⁎ Lucifer ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• Lilith used help… when she was around. The thought of asking someone else, much less the act itself, scorched him with guilt
• Oh well. Lucifer did it before, Heaven had rules about it, so he can do it again! And of course he did! It doesn’t mean it’s not an excruciatingly long process he puts off as long as he can tolerate
• You walk in on him attempting to strain his arms in ways they certainly shouldn’t bend. “Need some help?”
• “Pfft, who me? No, no, no I—“ He pauses. It’s like the predicament he’s been caught in settles in slowly, his smile dropping and crimson irises widening to rival a puppy’s cuteness. “Yes.” He admits meekly
• Your fingers barely touch his feathers and Lucifer jolts. Like him, his wings are so sensative
• Don’t take it personally when he tries to back out after that, cheeks bright red from embarrassment. He has six wings and can barely tolerate your touch as is. This could take a while, he already feels bad
• After a teaspoon more of convincing and a gallon of reassurance later, Lucifer sits as still as he can (which isn’t very) while you gently break open the pin feathers
• You could tease if you wanted, make a joke to try and settle his nerves but something tells you his wings aren’t the only thing that’s sensitive
• Lucifer appreciates your assistance and tenderness more than words can describe, nothing seems like a big enough gift to reward your hard work
˚✧₊⁎ Adam ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• Usually it’s Lute that would help him (and vice versa if he feels like it) but she’s nowhere to be found. He can’t casually ask anyone else. Heaven and its inhabitants can be weird about certain shit, preening is no exception— even though everyone has wings here!
• Walking past Adam’s office, you heard a crash and a lot of swearing. “Sir, are you—?”
“Unless you’re gonna help, fuck right off!” He growls from the ground, still reaching at an awkward angle for his wings
• He’s shocked when you sit on your knees beside him and swat his hand away. “If you make this weird, I will leave.” You warn. He doesn’t dare make even a single comment
• Adam shivers when your fingers glide into his feathers. You wave it off the first time but can’t stop a laugh when it happens again
Face first into the carpet, his loud voice is muffled, “Shut! Up!”
• You take pity on him and don’t drag the process longer than necessary. Awarding yourself a final pet of his oddly soft wings, you stand up, “There. All better?”
• Rising to his feet and giving his wings an experimental stretch, he shrugs nonchalantly, “Thanks. I guess.”
• The next day, you receive a basket from Goody-2-Shoes with various snacks. The card reads, ‘Let me know when I can return the favor. Wings don’t have to be included. ~ A’
˚✧₊⁎ Lute ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• You know she needs help when she’s more irritable than usual. Snapping at everyone, even Adam, and flinching when her wings move in the slightest
• Approaching the subject with her is harder than anyone. As aforementioned it’s unspokenly taboo but that isn’t what stops her. Lute’s deep rooted issues with intimacy and needing help will make her walls thicker than ever
• “This is inappropriate,” Lute whispers.
In the dead of night she’s finally allowed you to assist but keeps fidgeting and surveying the area like someone will catch you two.
“It is not,” You roll your eyes, “Get your mind out of the gutter and be still! I’ll have you’ll feeling better in no time.”
• She seriously, seriously doubts that. Anything she can’t do herself, amongst certain divine exceptions, no one could do for her
• …But she’s letting you help (and your adept fingers are doing a better job) So either she doesn’t fully believe that, or you miraculously raised her expectations
• Lute decides the latter is acceptable– and a compliment, especially since you prove her wrong. Triple checking her wings, she can’t find a flaw or deny how wonderful they feel now.
• “This is adequate.”
You snort, “You could just say thanks?”
“How can I repay you?”
“I just told you.”
• She narrows her eyes, shocked and suspicious that you wouldn’t want anything. Lute, again, decides that your endeavor deserves an equal act of goodwill. Don’t take it for granted when she says, “No. I owe you one. One.”
˚✧₊⁎ Vaggie ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• She genuinely forgets what’s wrong with her when she needs to preen. Even with her wings folded away, the irritable pricking can be felt. She’s itching the back of her neck, hand clawing under the crew of her shirt and dipping between her shoulder blades when you ask when’s the last time she checked for pin feathers
• Vaggie’s always been independent. Up in Heaven she was a bit cocky with the fact she never needed help to reach them. Now, she felt helpless and stupid. Her arms cramped up, her hair kept getting in the way and the itching only progressed
• “Can I–?”
“No.” Her ivory eyes go wide, surprised at the fury of her own voice. Sighing and avoiding your (what she assumed was a) pitiful gaze, she apologizes. “Sorry. I don’t know why I… I used to be able to do this alone.”
Pausing at how defeated Vaggie sounds, you do your best to keep a positive, neutral tone.
“Cut yourself some slack, you haven’t done this in years. And, y’know, you don’t have to do it alone now. Not if you don’t want.”
• Smiling at the offer hanging in the air but not quite accepting, she goes about her managerial duties only to knock on your door afterwards
• Vaggie’s so grateful you can’t see how dark her face becomes as you sort through her wings. They’re not sensitive, they never were– it’s something about your fingers delicately touching her that cracks her resolve. Now she starts to understand why this was seen as an intimate act upstairs
• “Thanks for…” Still blushing, she gestures to her wings before hiding them, “Thanks.”
You try to keep up with her indifference but can’t help the smile spreading across your face.
“No problem.”
• If you think she’s not replaying the moment over and over in her head for days afterwards, you’re wrong. Vaggie’s desperately waiting for the moment to be just as useful to you
˚✧₊⁎ Husk ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• He’s hardly a fan of Angel touching him the way he does so a solid relationship is required to unlock the level of trust needed for this activity
• The first time it happens when you’re in his life, he won’t ask but also doesn’t reject the offer. Just looks extremely hesitant and uncomfortable
• Carefully, you pinch the rough layer and eye Husk from over his shoulder
• He breathes out a laugh, “Gonna take more than that to hurt me, sugar. Go on, I’ll be fine.”
• His wings might be the least sensitive… but that could also be all that alcohol in his system
• Husk hums as you work. After he gives a big, cat-like stretch and thanks you with a tip of his hat
• The simple gesture means more than you know, he’ll never forget it
~
╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ accidentally on purpose put them from most to least sensitive wings hehehe
big big big BIG thank you to @kottenox for the inspiration and letting me take this idea and run!
2K notes · View notes
qqueenofhades · 7 months
Note
i registered to vote for the first time ( i feel old) now that im an adult but my state has closed primary elections which i was wondering if you have an opinion about. my initial thought was that its bad because i had to register democrat (rather than my states green party which represents my beliefs more) just so i could vote between democrat candidates, which feels like being pressured into supporting the weird pseudo two party system we have. but then i looked it up and apparently a reason for this is so that people from opposing parties wont purposefully mess up the votes just so that their preferred candidates have an easier time winning, and i think that makes sense too. but is that actually the reason theyve closed it or is it just to force us dem/republican?? cause it feels strange
Okay, look. I respect the fact that you're a young person, and I appreciate that you have not only registered to vote, but plan to vote in the primaries, so I don't want to lecture you too much. That said: I am taking you out for coffee, I am sitting you down, I am looking into your eyes, and I am urgently telling you the following:
The Green Party is a scam. It is a scam. It has existed for decades in American politics as an empty shell corporation weaponizing the good intentions of young people like yourself, because all it theoretically stands for "it's good to save the planet maybe." Which is not something that any non-insane person seriously disagrees with, but there is no world in which that cause is actually furthered by registering/voting Green (you mentioned that you did vote for Democrats, which -- good, but listen to me here, youngun, okay?) It ran Jill Stein in 2016 to siphon more votes from HRC, and this election it plans to run Cornel West, a pro-Russian tankie who positively equated Bernie and Trump, as another spoiler candidate. It does not stand for "protecting the planet" or America in any real way. It has never elected a single senator or congressman, let alone a president. It stands for empty performance/grievance political theater by those people who feel too morally superior to vote for/affiliate with Democrats, often because the internet has told them that it's not Cool or Hip or Progressive enough.
If your main priority is climate/the environment, you're doing the right thing by registering as a Democrat and voting for Democrats. (Also: the adjectival form is Democratic. It is the Democratic party and Democratic candidates, otherwise you sound like the Fox News host who wrote a book literally entitled "The Democrat Party Hates America.") They are the only major party who has in fact passed major climate legislation and have made environmental justice a central tenet of their platform. As opposed to the Republicans, whose Project 2025, along with the rest of its nightmare fascist prescriptions, openly pledges to completely wreck existing climate protections and forbid any new ones, just because we weren't all dying fast enough under their death-cult rule already. That's the main logical fallacy I don't get among both the Online Leftists and the American electorate in general: "the Democrats aren't doing quite enough as I'd like, so I'll enable the active wrecking ball insane lunatics to get in power and ruin even the progress we HAVE managed to make!" Like. How does that even make sense?
On a federal level, the Greens have contributed nothing whatsoever of tangible value to American or international climate policy/legislation, environmental justice, or anything else, because as noted, they don't have any elected candidates and mostly focus on drawing voters away from Democrats. There might be plenty of good candidates on the local or city level, which -- great! Vote away for Greens if they're available, or the only other option is a Republican! But on the federal/primary level, please understand: once again, they are a scam. There is no point in affiliating yourself with them. You're welcome to register Green and vote Democratic, if that makes you feel better or if you prefer having another label next to your name, but once again, I'm telling you in my position as a salty Tumblr elder that they have done nothing but harm to the causes they claim to care about, because "environment" is such a nebulous priority and has demonstrably been hijacked to stop the American government entity, i.e. the Democrats, that is actually working to improve on it.
As for your question: nobody is "forcing" or "pressuring" you to vote in primaries. By your own admission, you made a conscious choice to register as a Democrat in order to vote for Democratic candidates. If you were just a regular registered voter of whatever party affiliation, you would vote in the general election for whatever candidate the primary process produced. But if you are sufficiently vested and committed to that process that you would like to have a say in who is running under that party label, it is not unreasonable that you would register as a member of that party. Nobody has twisted your arm behind your back and made you do so; you are taking a considerable level of initiative on your own. Likewise, open primaries can be both a good and bad thing. This falls under the "the political system we have is flawed, but we can't magically pretend it doesn't exist and act according to our own fantasyland versions of reality" thing that I keep saying over and over. So yes, if you want a role in shaping the Democratic candidates who emerge from a Democratic primary process, you will usually register as a Democrat, and nobody has forced you to do that. It's that simple.
Likewise as a general programming note: I'm trying to cut back on politics a bit right now, because I don't have the spoons/bandwidth/mental health to deal with it. I apologize. So if you've sent me a politics-related ask recently and haven't received a response, I'm not deliberately or maliciously ignoring you; I just am not able to handle it as much as usual and will have to put it on pause. However, I feel as if this is important enough to be worth saying, so, yeah.
3K notes · View notes
murdrdocs · 1 year
Note
plsss do fem!reader getting a call from ethan!ghostface 😩 could be smutty or maybe 16+!! also ur writing is so good wtf
ahhh thank you so so much i'm glad u enjoy it! i rlly liked this request :)) this is SUGGESTIVE 16+ but not smut
Sometimes, truly, if you sit in silence for long enough, you start to consider that maybe you aren’t the best person, morals wise. 
You have your good qualities: helping old ladies cross the street, dog sitting for your friends, helping out sick relatives, doing good deeds without having to be told so. 
But the one bad trait, the one you were currently indulging in, seemed to outweigh everything that was good about you. 
Allowing some sick joke between you and your boyfriend to continue. 
As soon as Ethan switched from his usual, saccharine sweet voice, to the raspy, demanding tone of Ghostface, you should’ve told him to knock it off. Seriously. Not with that light, airy tone in your voice that showed how easily persuaded you are. 
But you couldn’t help but let him convince you to continue. Plus, you could’ve pretended that you hated it. Instead…
“Isn’t your line supposed to be: ‘What’s your favorite scary movie’?” 
Ethan, or Ghostface, chuckled. 
“See, you know the rules, sweetheart. Now, what’s your favorite scary movie?” 
You took a second to think, fiddling with the half completed puzzle that you and your roommates have been working on at the coffee table for two weeks now. 
“Probably Get Out. Does that count?” 
“Is that the one by that comedian, Jordan Peele?” 
“Yeah. It’s not really that scary, which is why I like it, but the plot and storyline is horrifying enough.” 
Ghostface hums and you decide to take a leap. 
“My boyfriend likes those traditionally scary movies, with the jumpscares and excessive gore.” 
He takes the bait. “Boyfriend? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.” 
“You didn’t ask.”
You take a seat on the couch, your eyes glancing over the window. Briefly, you considered drawing the curtains, but then Ghostface continued to speak. 
“Hm, maybe I should’ve. Does he treat a pretty girl like you right?” 
“Yeah, yeah, he does.” A beat. “How do you know I’m pretty?” 
“Because I’m looking at you, sweetheart.” 
Your breath hitched. You should have known as much, but just considering the possibility is one thing, having it confirmed is another. 
Attempting to play it cool, you stand to your feet and approach the window. “Really? Because I’m calling bullshit.” 
You pressed your face to the glass and used the hand that didn’t hold your phone to your ear to shield your view from the light inside of your apartment. You scanned the streets below, the windows across from yours, and anything else your eyes could reach, but you couldn’t see anything. It was late, there wasn’t much activity in your complex, and the streetlight that previously illuminated your section of the complex was still out. 
Ghostface chuckled condescendingly. “There’s no point in looking. You won’t find me.” 
Stepping away from the window, you surveyed the apartment. Nothing there, save for the organized mess left by yourself and your roommates. 
“But you can trust my word. I see how delicious you look in that little number. That tight shirt, those tiny shorts. Looking like a whore, begging to be fucked,” he spat the last bit as if the words were venomous. "maybe gutted," he toyed with the idea, “your boyfriend know you walk around like that?” 
Your eyes met the cameras in your apartment, the ones that your roommates decided were needed in this big city. You’d never been more thankful to have them. 
“He does,” you took a seat on the couch again, propping your feet up onto the coffee table and positioning yourself to where you could be seen by the camera. Your legs crossed, and you ran a hand along your thigh. “And he loves it. If he could see me right now I bet he would be cumming in his pants.” 
There was a hitch in his voice, barely noticeable, but there. 
You took his hesitation to spread your legs and trail a hand down to the waistband of your shorts. Your eyes flitted up to the camera, you smiled softly, lifted your hand in a wave, then stuck it into your shorts. 
“You said you’re watching me, right, Ghostface?”
7K notes · View notes
frenchkisstheabyss · 10 months
Text
♡ SKZ Members Who'd Love Sleeping On Your Belly ♡
Tumblr media
♡ All of the love to @skz-story-request-always-open for asking me to do this adorably fluffy request ♡
While I'm sure any of our OT8 cuties would love cuddling up to a soft belly, these are the four who I think would be in absolute heaven if you let them do it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
♡ Felix ♡
You let him fall asleep on your belly once and he's refused to do anything else since. At this point, if you even joke about not letting him do it you'll break his heart
Seriously, you can offer him the fluffiest of pillows and he won't touch them because nothing's more comfy than dozing off on you with his favorite song or show in the background
It's never unexpected when he lays on you because he tends to come running at you full force with his arms open and his face lit up, making cute little noises that let you know it's time for cuddles
As much as he enjoys your softness, what really makes it special to him is the closeness and vulnerability he feels when he's curled up against you with your arm around his neck, fingers playing with his hair as sleep takes him
Tumblr media Tumblr media
♡ Bang Chan ♡
His reputation as someone who rarely sleeps is unshakable at this point, insomnia's basically a part of his lore, but he's out like a light the second his cheek meets your belly
Something that always gets him is when you come up beside him while he's working and stroke his cheek, letting him lean his head on you. As someone who's responsible for taking care of so many people, it's nice when it's his turn to be cared for
He can, will, and has fallen asleep in the sitting position because you're so comfy, and having you in his presence is incredibly peaceful for him, quieting the thoughts swirling around in his mind
Nothing's cuter than the look on his face when you wake him up enough to make it to the bed or couch where he can truly settle in, interlocking his body with yours so that you can't go anywhere
Tumblr media Tumblr media
♡ Binnie ♡
This man's obsession with sleeping on your belly is the precise reason why you wake up with random body aches some days
He doesn't care where you are, what you're doing, or what time of day it is. If he feels himself nodding off, he has to find a way to get you into any position necessary for him to get to it
Clearly, he's not particular about if you guys are bent sideways to make it happen but he does have preferences when it comes to what you wear. His favorite thing to see you in is a t-shirt because it means his hands get easier access to squishing your belly
There's nothing remotely sexual about his habit of slipping his hand under your shirt to play with your belly. It's relaxing for him. It also helps that you giggle when he does it a certain way. He could never get tired of that
Tumblr media Tumblr media
♡ Han ♡
He never gets a better night's rest than when he's using your belly as a pillow but going to sleep's rarely, if ever, what he had in mind when he first laid down
It's a good thing though because, with all of the energy he has, he can start to feel burnt out at times and he always knows he can come to you as a safe space to restore his energy since you don't really want anything from him other than, well, him
Even though it's technically your stomach he goes feral if anyone tries to peel him away from you. You're his baby and he's gonna cling to you for dear life for as long as he can
His belly might not be as soft as yours but he constantly insists that you lay on him too so that he can hold you and sing you to sleep, watching over you to make sure you sleep as peacefully as he does
4K notes · View notes
mypoisonedvine · 10 months
Text
𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 || dark!jonathan crane x reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 || since you're the only one of his coworkers at arkham who doesn't seem to be intimidated by his intelligence, jonathan decides it's time he finds out what does scare you... and how he can embody it. unfortunately for you, turning into your greatest nightmare doesn't prove very difficult for him.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 || 5.5k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || EXTREME AND EXPLICIT NONCON (18+ only and please proceed with caution), drugging and kidnapping, paralysis, traumatized reader, forced orgasms/overstimulation, degradation, humiliation, choking, slapping, unprotected sex/breeding, misogyny, jonathan is very much in character which means he is incredibly evil and has incel vibes (I know y'all are not about to get mad at me for writing a villain being a villain and not uwu babifying him...)
Tumblr media
When you interrupted and corrected your colleague, Dr. Crane, about the correct combination of pharmaceuticals for a certain schizophrenic patient in the asylum who happened to have diabetes, you thought nothing of it.  After all, the whole point of staff meetings was to discuss and debate these things, and you weren’t about to let him damn-near poison a patient by giving him something that would interfere with his insulin.  You weren’t trying to be snarky about it, but you did sort of make a joke about how dangerous his suggestion was— and you didn’t notice the way Jonathan’s nostrils flared and jaw tightened when some others chuckled at what you said.
When you received an email from your therapist’s office informing you that there was evidence of a break-in in her building, but that the police were unable to officially determine if confidential client files were compromised, you thought nothing of it.  It was a big complex, these things happen, and you knew from being a clinician yourself how tricky the laws could be surrounding that stuff: she had to email you, legally, if there was any chance your file could’ve been accessed, and that didn’t mean you had any reason to fear your private therapy session notes had been read.  Besides, who would want to read about you and your boring life, diving into your mundane hopes and fears and daily stresses?
And when Crane came into the office with tea for you, you thought nothing of it.  Sure, you seemed surprised when he popped into your office with cups in hand— you asked him why he had two cups of tea, assuming they were both for himself, and he laughed.  Just that was out of character, he wasn’t much of a chucklehead or anything.  “Green tea, right?  With lime and honey?” he asked, setting one cup down for you.  You were still taken aback, but you had to admit defeat.
“Yeah,” you said, taking the cup as he sat down across the desk from you.  “Yeah, that’s my order— I didn’t know you drank tea.”
“Sometimes,” he informed you, hoping his poker face was holding up as he watched you take a sip.  He couldn’t help but stare at your lips wrapping around the little hole in the lid, the print of berry-red your lipstick left behind.  His heart was racing already, more than he expected.
When you finished the first sip, you smiled at him and let out a small, nervous laugh.  “Thank you,” you finally said.  So, yes, even though you clearly noticed this was slightly odd behavior, you thought nothing of drinking the tea.  That was one thing he hated about you: the thoughtlessness.  You didn’t seem to second-guess yourself much, if anything you were a little on the cocky side.  He found it so irritating— that confidence.  Sure, you were smart and you deserved to take yourself somewhat seriously, but the way you walked around this place— the way you ignored him so easily, or spoke over him if you wanted to, or ignored his suggestions when he gave them… you were a bitch, basically.  You clearly thought you were better than him— better than everybody else— for no reason at all.  Just because you were pretty and had a good job you thought you could get away with anything, surely; pretty girls always think that way.
He made casual conversation with you as you sipped the tea, asking questions he already knew the answer to, hoping to catch you in a lie.  For the most part, your stories matched up with what he’d learned from that file.  But, you left out the gory details— you left out the best parts, really.
You mentioned where you went to medical school and that you transferred mid-way through due to ‘stress’, but you didn’t elaborate on what really happened to you.  You mentioned having your own therapist— something you said passionately that every client-facing mental health professional should have— but left out what you were actually being treated for, not to mention the PTSD diagnosis.
He had to hide his smirk behind the paper cup every time you seemed to lose your train of thought— it wasn’t like you, so focused and determined all the time.  No, it was the drugs finally kicking in.  You went for bigger gulps of tea each time your eyes looked heavier, hoping the caffeine would work— but the trace caffeine in your green tea was nothing compared to what he’d added.
You tried to warn him that you were suddenly not feel up to par— that he needed to leave, and you might try to wake yourself up— but he just sat and waited.  He watched you try to get up, and lose your balance.  He watched you stumble, trip, and ultimately fall onto the floor limply.  He watched your eyes flutter shut and the final ounce of energy to fight it fade; he quietly took a final sip of his tea.
~
You woke up on the floor.  You could barely feel it beneath you, but you knew it was the floor— it was cold, and hard.  And you were looking up at the dark ceiling, at the fan spinning at the lowest speed; so you were definitely on the floor.
Jonathan was standing above you, not too far off, flipping through papers.  You couldn’t move— no matter how hard you fought to, you couldn’t.  You barely managed to turn your head, but it felt more like it rolled to the side on its own.  You tried to yell for Dr. Crane’s attention, for help, for him to explain what happened to you, but even your mouth couldn’t move.  The best you could do was breathe harder— actually, you were pretty sure your body was trying to hyperventilate, but you were too incapacitated to even have a proper panic attack.
He heard you, though; he looked away from the papers and grinned down at you.  “Comfortable down there?”
You started to put together a few things.  One, that the last thing you remembered was being in your office, and now you were in your apartment.  Two, that those papers were photoscans of chart notes— obviously you couldn’t make out the words from here, but the format gave away that it must have to do with a patient.
And three, that Crane was neither surprised that you were paralyzed on the floor, nor interested in helping you.
He half-rolled the papers in one hand and playfully hit the other hand’s palm with them.  “These have been quite interesting… revealing, to say the least,” he informed you, like it was a compliment— something you should be proud to hear.  “You’re quite the enigma, Doc!”
He sat down beside you on the floor, leaning on his hand first to find his balance with a little sigh; he seemed amused, actually, and your heart began to race.
As he started to read aloud from the page in front of him, you felt nauseous.  He was reading patient data, describing a client who was receiving individual counseling— or that’s what the CPT code indicated, at least.  As he listed the client’s demographic data— age, race, gender, height, weight— it became eerily obvious what he was doing.  You refused to believe it until he went on: “Client was recommended to Dr. Min Zhang for individual therapy concerning PTSD following sexual trauma.”
Your therapist.  This was a file he’d copied, which belonged to your therapist.  And it was obvious whose file it was.
As you tried with all your might to scream, Jonathan flipped a few pages ahead.
“Session fourteen, eleventh of June,” he continued.  “Client expressed frustration with an increased recurrence of nightmares and flashbacks to her assault.  Up until now, she has struggled to explain what triggers her anxiety without having to actually elaborate on the circumstances of the event.”
He stopped, but you weren’t exactly relieved.  In fact, you were horrified.  He had a little grin on his face when he looked at you, but you could finally see the rage in his eyes.  Suddenly, you realized how long it had been there.  You had sort of picked up on it before, the resentment he had towards you— and it didn’t take a Freudian expert to figure out that he was threatened by you, especially as a man.  He didn’t respond well to feeling upstaged and he clearly had an issue with women.  Maybe not that issue— he was good-looking and well-off, he didn’t need to have any issues with women if he didn’t want to— but an issue nonetheless.  
“Now,” he added, smiling wider than you’d ever seen him smile before, “client states she is ready to describe the incident in full detail.”
He set the papers aside for a second, leaning over you and almost looking… giddy, really.
“I won’t read you the rest, I’ve already pretty much memorized what goes on from there.  It was fascinating— seeing how what happened that night connected to the fears you still have today… the nightmares.  You said that you still feel sick at the smell of alcohol, you still don’t like to wear pinstripe skirts, and even just the wrong few words can make you feel like you’re right back there where it happened— on the floor of your apartment.”
All you could do was look up at him, and you felt your eyes get hot as they welled with tears.
“Not this apartment, obviously— the one by your old school,” Jonathan sighed, “but this will have to do.  And the smell of alcohol, well, I wouldn’t want to let anything cloud my experience— but I dabbed a little gin on my wrists, what do you think?”
He held his hand up by your face, caressing your cheek for a second, and you imagined yourself pulling away— turning your head and shrugging his touch off of you with a grimace.  But nothing happened, of course, and you were entirely helpless as the acidic stench of liquor became apparent.  You couldn’t give your typical outward reaction of a frown, but inside, you felt just the same as always: your stomach twisted, your heart pounded, your head swirled.
“Smell is such a… primal trigger of memory, isn’t it?” he mused, watching your face reverently.  “I can see it in your eyes, it’s affecting you even more than I expected.  You act so fearless at work— but I knew you must have been overcompensating.  God, you’re terrified— I would say you’re paralyzed, but, well… it would be too literal, I think.”
You knew that Crane studied fear and phobias, even trauma occasionally, as a personal interest within the field.  It was normal to have a favorite subtopic, and to conduct related research on it— but obviously, this was far from normal, this was absolutely deranged.  You knew that part of this was vengeance, in his own mind at least, but you didn't feel like you'd done anything actually wrong to him.  And the rest of it, well, it seemed like some twisted experiment, but if you were able to speak you would've tried to remind him that this 'research' wasn't going to get him published or advance his career— but of course, that wasn't what he wanted.  He just wanted to humiliate you.
“I was worried I didn’t have enough to work with, you know,” he added.  “I knew I couldn’t get you to where it happened, if I could even figure it out since you never filed that police report… and the skirt, well, I considered it.  It sounded pretty exciting to dress you up like the night it happened— what I would give to know everything you were wearing that night, but I don’t have a ton to work with.  Obviously, you don’t own any pinstripe skirts anymore, so I would’ve had to buy one… and I wasn’t quite ready for the looks I’d get shopping at Macy’s, so…”
Carefully, he reached up to take off his glasses, folding them and setting them down on your coffee table.
“You know how detail-oriented I am— I mean, I went to all this, didn’t I?” He continued, reaching down and brushing his fingers for a moment over your leg.  It was so instinctive to pull away that it took you a moment to realize you hadn’t… because of course, you couldn’t.  “But it’s impossible to recreate it all perfectly.  Clearly, I don’t need to— if only you could see it, Doc, you look… you look so weak.  Pathetic.”
Since the only thing you could do was look around, you tried to look away— to not give him the satisfaction of seeing the terror in your eyes.  He grabbed your face and turned it until you looked up at him.  
“Did you think you’d be able to face your greatest fear?  Perhaps with a bit more dignity?” he mused.  He looked different without the glasses on; and, ironically, you felt like he could see you even better now.
It was obvious that he enjoyed lording complete power over you, but a quick glance down to his suit trousers made it clear just how much he enjoyed it.  You quickly darted your gaze away, but it was too late; he started to climb on top of you, staring at your face uncomfortably close, and worked on opening his belt and fly.
“Fear rules us all, doesn’t it?  Everything you did, it was guided by your fear that it would— well, why paraphrase?  Let me find exactly how you put it…”
He picked up the papers again quickly, licking his thumb and flipping around until he found the right entry.
“Yes,” he said, “here it is: client states she lives in almost constant fear that it will happen again.”
So that's what this was: his disturbed take on exposure therapy.
As he tossed the copied charts away for the last time and reached up under your skirt, he leaned down and whispered in your ear— and you couldn’t even flinch from the harsh sounds of his words.  “It took you over fifty sessions to admit it,” he recalled, “to tell her the whole truth.  Not just what he did to you… what you did.”
With a small growl, he yanked your panties down your legs and rubbed your thighs with far too much aggression, such that you expected bruises from his hands— just like the ones you’d had before.
“You said he made you do it,” he continued, “you couldn’t help it, right?  But you said nothing’s ever felt like that— that you’d never had such a powerful orgasm.”
You would’ve vomited, except that that, too, requires your muscles to not be paralyzed.  Rolling your skirt up and spreading your legs, he positioned himself right between them, rubbing his cock's leaking head around your hole.
“Your greatest fear isn’t really that it’ll happen again, is it?” Jonathan taunted.  “You’re afraid someone’s going to find out how much you liked it.”
With that, he punched his hips forward and speared you on his cock.
It had been years since you'd had anything inside you, even your own fingers.  You couldn't even remember if being penetrated hurt like this during your assault, and you would've sworn before that you remembered every detail perfectly.  But this was so real, not a memory or a nightmare.  You couldn't cry out from the sting.
"God, it's tight," he groaned, "I bet you weren't this tight when it happened— you'd been whoring around, hadn't you?  Letting all kinds of guys use you… just ran into the wrong one and got your drink spiked.  But now…"
He hissed through his teeth, tightening his grip on your hip.  
"Now it's all mine, isn't it?"
Inside, you were screaming and kicking and pleading for mercy.  You imagined you would be angry and violent, beat him to death with your heel or something, but you wondered if you'd be forced to bargain with him— apologize for whatever you did to upset him, promise you wouldn't tell a soul about this as long as he left you alone.  But either way, it didn't matter… on the outside, you were useless, laying there and letting him use you.
"What made you come so much before?  Did he have a big cock, is that it?” he asked with a snarl.  “Did he know exactly how to touch you?  Or was it just that you’d been craving it, needed it really rough to get off properly?  Is that why you came while he raped you?”
It was a biological response, you told yourself like you had over and over, I couldn't help it, it wasn't my fault, it was a biological response— it wasn't my fault, I didn't like it, it was a biological response.
“I think I know what it is,” he mused, looking down at you with heavy eyes and almost purring as he watched your limp form bounce on the floor.  “I think you wanted to be put in your place.  You act so liberated, so empowered— but you’re a creature of instinct, like anything else.  You need someone to remind you how weak you are, I know, fuck, I know you do…”
He fucked you just a bit faster, grunting and tightening his fist on the floor by your head.
“You haven’t been able to have an orgasm at all, since then,” he stated— almost making it like a question, with the way he said it, but he obviously already knew it was true.  He sounded shockingly sympathetic— not even pitying, not condescending, for once.  “I’m sure for a while you didn’t even try, afraid it would remind you— but that’s the thing, you can’t finish unless you’re reminded.”
You almost surprised yourself when you heard a whine come from your throat; he smiled proudly.
"It's wearing off, I think," he noticed.  "I only gave you a small dose.  Can you move at all?  Can you beg me to stop?"
You opened your mouth to try to say everything you'd wanted to since you awoke, but all that came out was a moan.  You hated yourself for that, and he laughed happily.
"You don't want me to stop," he decided.  "Feels too good?"
I fucking hate you, you wanted to scream, you sick son of a bitch, I fucking hate you—
"You didn't say it outright, but he must have said something to you— during, maybe after," Jonathan theorized.  "You didn't say what it was, but you told your therapist about having a vivid flashback after being accosted by a delusional homeless man on the street.  He called you a bitch, seemingly for no reason… is that what your rapist said to you?  Did he say you were a stuck-up little bitch?"
As burning hot tears striped your temples, you curled your fingers over and over— maybe you could move your arms if you really tried…
"He was fucking right about you.  You think you're so much fucking better than everyone else," he growled.  "You think you're so fucking smart, and special.  But you're no fucking different, you're nothing—"
You whined and reached up, weakly trying to push him off of you, but all you could do was limply grasp at his shoulders.
"Nothing but a stupid—" he grunted the word as he slammed himself into you— "fucking—" he did it again— "bitch."
"No!" you finally heard yourself sob, clutching a weak fistful of his white shirt, but he grabbed your hands and shoved them back down to the floor.
“God,” he choked, holding your wrists tightly until you whined, “it’s so much better when you can fight— fuck, it’s so much better.  Keep struggling if you want, Doc, you’re still too weak for me…”
Your legs moved a little, but they felt heavy.  Sensation was only just beginning to return to them, like pins and needles, and it stung; you winced as you managed to squirm a bit beneath him.
"That's it," he praised, "this is probably just how you did it before.  Too drunk and too desperate for cock to really do much, but trying so hard to look like you hate it— I understand, you don't want anyone to know that you need this.  They'd never look at you the same again: the smart, accomplished psychiatrist who likes getting treated like fuckmeat.  What would they think of you if they knew?"
"No…" you said again, too weak and traumatized to say much else— but it wasn't what he said that made you say no, it was the pulse of pleasure inside your cunt.  He must have felt it, and if he didn't, he surely felt the next; yes, he did, because he smiled down at you excitedly.
"It's happening, isn't it?  You're gonna come."
He held on tight to one of your legs, gripping your thigh and staring uncomfortably into your eyes as he kept going— faster and rougher with each thrust.  You choked on your throat, trying to stop any part of this, but the pleasure was undeniable; it still hurt, yes, and you still felt so angry and sick and numb, but something familiar and desperate was tightening in your gut.  It’d been so long since anyone touched you… you’d forgotten how natural it could feel, even when it was so horrible.
"I read it in your file, but I still couldn't really believe it,” he laughed quietly, “I couldn't believe you came over and over while being raped— but here you are, wow, look at you… you’re so beautiful when you’re scared.”
A long, heavy sigh fell from your lips; your eyes got heavier, and your whole body seemed to relax— in a way totally different from the medication-induced paralysis.
He cooed at you, seeming oddly proud, and you were oddly compliant as he picked you up and pulled you into his lap.
Tears streamed across your cheeks as he held you close, one hand around your back while the other moved your hips against his.  “There you go— come for me, I wanna feel it— another one, baby, for me…”
It wasn’t much longer before another one came— from what you remembered, it was a lot like the first time, this terribly wonderful way your body protected itself from the trauma by immersing you in pleasure.  Of course, Jonathan helped you along by rubbing your clit with his thumb, excited to watch you surrender to ecstasy even when you begged him to just stop and leave you alone.
Of course, your protests were less and less believable as more of your strength and mobility returned— you could’ve tried harder to get away, but instead you found your hips rocking with his, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.  No, you didn’t want this— you never wanted this— but you found the way he spoke to you impossibly comforting even while it was still deeply upsetting.  “Tell me about the nightmares, darling,” he whispered— some impossible mix of pleading and ordering.
“A-almost every night,” you whimpered.  “I… I got used to it, but I used to… I used to wake up and think I was still…”
"They felt so real, hm?" he presumed, and you nodded.  “It’s real now… you don’t have to be afraid of the dreams anymore, it’s all real— I’m right here.”
You couldn’t tell if he was trying to scare or comfort you; he pet your hair, clinging to you tightly, kissing your face and neck along the lines of the tears soaking your skin.  
You felt his grin against your cheek when another wavering moan echoed in your chest, and he laid you back on the floor to hover over you again.  “Was that your third one, already?” he noticed.  “This is so much easier than I thought… you needed this so badly, you poor girl.”
A quick wave of panic settled over you when his hand wrapped around your neck.  “W-wait,” you pleaded instantly, as if you really feared he would just strangle you to death right then and there.  Your hands, still weak and tingly, reached up to his arm, and you felt his cock throb inside you— of course that was what he wanted, to see you react in fear again.  So many other emotions were at play right now, even some you didn’t know existed (like whatever the word would be for longing for the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, or feeling like the only person you can trust is the person hurting you the most), but fear was still going to rule it all as long as he had any say.
"How many times did you come before?" he demanded to know, nostrils flaring as he fucked you harder.  "Tell me how many times you came when he raped you."
"I— I don't—" you stammered.
"Say it," he ordered.
"I— I don't know!" you yelped, whimpers falling to silence as he tightened his grip on your neck. 
"You don't fucking know?" he snarled at you, watching you fight for air.  You clawed at his shirt, his wrist, tried to pry his fingers away, but he just sneered as he stared at your numbing face.  "You don't know how many times you creamed on your rapist's cock?  Bullshit."
"I—" you gasped when he let go of your throat, "I lost count…"
He went from livid to ecstatic in a second, laughing proudly and dipping down to kiss your neck passionately.  "Good girl," he mumbled against your skin, fucking you even faster.  "That's what you need to do for me now— come for me until you lose count."
“I— I can’t,” you choked, grabbing at his shoulders as he seemed to overwhelm you just by pressing his weight down on top of you.  “I’m sorry— you… you proved your point, I— I just need a break—”
Even though the drug he’d injected you with was wearing off, you realized you were just as limp and helpless as before… after all, some of the most powerful chemicals come inside the body.  You didn’t even fight it when he put his hand over your mouth, spitting out a quiet but hateful shut up and continuing with his quick and forceful thrusts into you.  
He kept you conscious and lucid by occasionally hitting or choking you, talking to you, once or twice even ordering you to kiss him.  Like you mean it, he’d said, slapping you as punishment for doing it wrong.  Truth be told, you hadn’t kissed anyone in so long that you’d really been trying your best the first time.  Sometimes he told you to beg him for more— or to beg him to get off of you— and yet he would usually punish you for speaking at all.  He was completely unpredictable, and you figured that was part of the plan: take away any shred of control you might try to get by making it impossible to follow his rules.  Keep you confused and crying, keep you fearful, keep you obedient.
But, he did seem to enjoy when you could only just choke out a broken please.  He laughed at you, pinching your sore clit in response until you sobbed and tried to jerk your hips away.  “‘Please’ what, honey?  You mean, ‘please keep fucking me, Doctor Crane, you’ll make me come again?’” he taunted.  “Something like that?”
“Please… please,” you swallowed around your whines, “please just… finish, and go…”
“Oh,” he purred, “you want me to come?”
You’d specifically not phrased it that way, but, yes, that was what you were asking for.  You weren’t sure what else he wanted from you now, it felt like he’d drained you of everything.
“You can just say that, baby— you wanna make me come?” he grinned, moving in closer for a kiss, but you turned your head away.  He grabbed your jaw again and stared at you with an angry glare.  “This isn’t about me.  This is what you wanted.  This is what you fucking wanted!”
As he screamed in your face, you sobbed and tried to look away again, but he hit you hard on the face and covered your mouth before the cry of agony could come out.  
“This is what you wanted, right?” he insisted again, forcing your head to nod with his clammy, iron-tight grip.  “Uh huh— and you wanna make me come, don’t you?  You understand now that’s all you’re good for.”
As sick as it was, you felt yourself fall into another orgasm when he said that; your eyes rolled back a bit, and for a moment you felt even hotter between your legs.
“I think, if you beg me to come, maybe I will,” he offered— bargaining with you, probably another way to trick you into clamoring for some control only to yank it away.  Unfortunately, you were in no position to turn down a deal.
“Please,” you blurted out the second he released your mouth from under his hand; when you blinked the tears from your eyes, you saw him clearly again and realized how completely different he looked from the arrogant-but-generally-unassuming man you knew from work.  His hair was fallen beside his face, and he was close enough that the ends were tickling your forehead.  His eyes were bloodshot, crazed, and dark.  His lips, always full and plush but usually in a tight frown or neutral look of condescending boredom, were curled around the teeth he bared at you.  He looked animalistic, for a man typically so measured.  Only he could do something so animalistic in a way that required such intellect, foresight, and contemplation— using his superhuman skills to treat you in a subhuman manner.  You realized that you were really seeing him for the first time— the person you’d known before was the mask.  This was something horribly freeing for him; and you were having a much easier time analyzing and thinking about him to distract from how sickly freeing this experience was becoming for you.  “Please, Jonathan—”
“Doctor Crane,” he corrected.  Apparently this wasn’t enough to put you on a first name basis…
“Doctor Crane,” you repeated, “please… come.  I want… I want you to come.”
“Hmm,” he considered, and you worried he’d decide he was unimpressed with your effort and hurt you again— but, he did maybe the only thing worse.  “Okay,” he agreed, “if it’s so important to you.”
Just when you shut your eyes tight and hoped you could just get through this— just hold on for a few more minutes at most and then this would be over and done with— he whispered in your ear that he needed you to keep your eyes open if he was going to finish.  
Though, when you obeyed, he purred at you and let his own eyes flutter shut for just a moment.  For once, he actually seemed affected by all this physically and not just psychosexually.  “I think I’ll come inside, like he did before,” Crane decided with a groan when he opened his eyes, biting his lip for a moment as he stared down at you.  “I didn’t see any birth control in your listed medications on chart… I guess we’ll find out if you have a fear of getting pregnant.”
"Jonathan— don't," you whimpered.  "Please, don't do that—"
"Shh," he soothed, petting the top of your head and laying his weight over you.  "Shh, it's alright.  I think you need to be filled with come… I think that might be the one thing that’ll get you to settle down, now just hold still.”
“I— please… please…” you began to beg again, but your words faded away as another wave of sensation washed over you— they started to blend together, like before, and you realized you were doing what he’d asked: you were losing count.
“Good girl,” he praised under his breath, “like that— fuck, I’m close.  Fuck!”
He held onto you tight— one hand on your thigh and the other on your neck as his thrusts sped to a desperately, impossibly fast pace.  You moaned— or cried, or yelled, or something— as he pushed just a little too deep and your toes curled in your heels.
“Uh huh,” he encouraged, “just one more while I come inside you— I think you can manage that, just one more good squeeze on my cock— oh, fuck, that’s it, yes, just like that…”
You stopped being able to understand what he was saying, but you heard the wavering groan that came a few moments later when his movements suddenly stopped.  He gasped and kept himself as far inside you as possible; you shuddered, blinking fresh tears out of your eyes, and felt paralyzed in an entirely new way as you laid under him, staring up at your ceiling, seeing how far the sun had set since it began— actually, it had started to rain, making it even more impossible to tell how much time had really passed.  Eventually, though, he took his head out from the crook of your neck and propped himself up enough to look down at you.  
Reaching to your coffee table, he fumbled his hand around until he found his glasses, and shakily put them back on.  “Well,” he grinned, still panting but seeming to be mostly back to himself (whoever that was).  “I never thought I’d meet someone who loves fear as much as I do.”
5K notes · View notes