#send me your favourite cast moments and ill see what i can do <3

[falcqns]

Adore You

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: 3 times Chris tries to tell you he loves you, and the 1 time he does.

Warnings: smut, angst, swearing, fluff

A/N: hope you enjoy!

Walk in your rainbow paradise  Strawberry lipstick state of mind

He first realized he was in love with you the first time he hung out with you off set.

The rest of your co stars were going to be filming late except you two, so you invited him over for a movie night, to which he agreed.

You had run around before he arrived making sure your apartment was presentable before he arrived. You made a whole bunch of snack, including your moms hot dip, which was a favourite of everyone who tried it.

When the doorbell rang, you walked up to let him in, and greeted him.

“Hey!” You said, giving him a smile.

“Hey, thanks for having me,” He said, taking off his shoes.

“Well, if you hadn’t come over, I would have had a very boring night involving me, my cat, and Harry Potter,” You joked. 

He took off his coat and hung it up. He looked around at your apartment as he followed you. You didn't have a very big apartment, but it looked very spacious, especially for Los Angeles. 

It was open concept, the kitchen, dining and living room all connected with a hallway leading back to what he guessed was the bedroom and bathroom.

“You've got a pretty nice place here,” He mentioned, as you poured him a drink in the kitchen.

You chuckled. “Well, it’s super cheap, it’s in a nice spot, and I knew the girl who rented it before me, she just moved to Hawaii with her baby daughter.” You finished before taking a sip of your own drink, and leading Chris over to the couch. 

Your faded calico cat, Rella, lifted her head up and meowed at the two of you, before climbing onto Chris.

“What’s her name?” He asked, as he pet her gently, and listened to her purr.

“Her names Rella, she’s my childhood cat. She’s getting older and my mom thought she’s be happier out here with me instead of home in Canada with my 3 loud siblings,” You said, watching as she got comfortable on his lap.

The two of you spent the rest of the night watching Harry Potter, and chatting, before Chris headed out around midnight with a promise of movie night being at his place. 

As he hugged you goodbye, he knew he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

I get so lost inside your eyes Would you believe it?

The first time he tried to confess his feelings, he messed up.

He was too scared to tell you face to face, so he settled on sending you a bouquet of flowers with a note confessing.

Which, he did, but he (stupidly) forgot to sign the card which would tell you it was from him until after it was sent and he couldn't cancel it.

So when you called him ecstatic about having a secret admirer, his heart hurt a little. 

He was going to tell you it was him, but then you almost broke him in two with one sentence.

“I wonder if it’s from the man I’m in love with,” You asked, and his stomach dropped.

Of course you were in love with someone else. You were beautiful, strong, and an amazing actress. It only made sense, but it didn't hurt any less.

You don't have to say you love me You don't have to say nothing You don't have to say you're mine

When you announced you had a boyfriend, he tried to tell you again, which obviously didn't work either. 

Instead of just calmly telling you about his feelings, and acknowledging that he couldn't have you, he got angry. 

He wasn't angry at the fact that you were taken, he was angry at who you were dating. “I cannot believe you're dating Noah Centeno of all people,” He said.

You crossed your arms. “What’s wrong with Noah? He’s a nice guy, and I like him.” You reasoned.

He scoffed and looked up from the carrots he was cutting. “You don’t love him.”   

“I can see myself loving him,” 

He dropped the knife, and braced his hands on the counter before lifting his head and looking at you. 

“You should be dating someone you’re in love with, and who loves you back,” He said.

You slammed your glass on the counter top, and stood up.

“JUST BECAUSE I DON’T LOVE HIM NOW, DOESN’T MEAN I NEVER WILL!” You screamed. “WE’VE BEEN DATING A WEEK!”

“I DON’T CARE, Y/N! I’M TELLING YOU HE’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU, AND IT’S JUST GOING TO END BADLY!” He screamed right back at you.

“FUCK YOU! YOU SAY THAT ABOUT EVERY GUY I TAKE AN INTEREST IN AS IF IT’S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS! I’M DONE WITH IT, CHRIS!” You screamed, tears streaming down your face as you turned away from him and grabbed your purse. You walked towards the door, and he came after you.

“Y/N, wait-” He started to say before you slammed the door in his face.

He turned away from the door to face Dodger.

“I fucked up bad, I know.” He said, and Dodger barked in agreement.

Honey I'd walk through fire for you Just let me adore you

Just as he’d suspected, your relationship crashed and sank to the bottom of the ocean quicker than the Titanic, but he didn’t find out until a drama news source got hold of the story, and announced it.

“Y/N Y/L/N and Noah Centeno are over,” The title read. 

He knew he shouldn’t click on it, that he shouldn’t believe it. But, as he scrolled further, he saw a post from you confirming the breakup.

‘I hate to have to make this post, but certain organizations have somehow gotten ahold of the news, and there’s no denying it. Noah and I have decided to end our relationship. I will not go into details about what happened between us in this post, but it’s not hard to figure out what happened if you google it. I have no ill feelings towards Noah, sometimes things just don’t work out. We had a great time together, and I will always be grateful for him.’ The post read.

He scrolled back up and clicked on the article. He lightly skimmed through it, before a sentence caught his eye.

‘Sources are reporting that the relationship ended when Centeno was spotted kissing another woman in a Las Vegas night club, when Y/N was at home in Canada visiting family.’

That mother fucker. 

He dialled your number and tried to call you, but you didn't answer, so he decided to text you instead.

‘Hey, Y/N. I just saw your post about you and Noah and I wanted to saw that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things that I won't mention over text, but I’m mainly sorry for what that asshole did to you. I’m here for you if you  need anything, just let me know,” The message read. Sure, he had thought about telling you how he felt in that message, but he knew it wasn't the right time.

He sent the message, and you responded less than a minute later.

‘Why do you care? You got what you wanted, him out of my life. You were right, so I don’t know why you're even pretending to care.’

That hurt, he thought to himself, before putting his phone down. You were right of course. He was a complete asshole to you, so why was he pretending he cared, when he obviously didn't. He had gotten what he wanted, shouldn't he be happy?

Because you were hurting, that’s why.

Your wonder under summer skies (summer skies) Brown skin and lemon over ice Would you believe it?

He woke up the next morning, and decided that enough was enough, and he needed to tell you.

You hadn’t answered him all week, and he was getting annoyed. He wanted to talk to you, and sort shit out, but it’s kind of hard for him to do that when you refuse to talk to him, so he called Adrianne Palicki.

You were a part of the cast of The Orville, and Adrianne was one of your best friends.

“Hello?” She said as she answered.

“Hey, it’s Chris,” He said.

“Hey, what’s up,” she responded.

“Well, I was wondering if you could convince Y/N to talk to me,” he pleaded.

Adrianne sighed, before continuing. “I don’t know Chris, she’s pretty mad at you. I mean she refuses to even watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. any more, she’s so mad at you,” 

He ran his hands through his hair as he spoke again. “I know. I messed up bad. I just- I’m in love with her, and I let my feelings get the best of me, and I want to make it right. I just need you to get her to talk to me,”    

“Alright, I’ll talk to her. What do you want me to tell her?” Adrianne asked. 

“J-Just tell her to come to my place Saturday at 8, and I’ll explain everything.”

“Kay, I’ll tell her. But Evans, if you hurt her, I think I still have my Mockingbird batons around here somewhere,” She threatened, and Chris chuckled.

“You got it,” He said before hanging up. 

You had no idea how you had managed to let Adrianne talk you into this. I mean, you were still mad at Chris, and didn't see that ending anytime soon, yet here you were. Standing at his doorstep, at 7:55 on Saturday night.

You knocked, and heard Dodger barking before the door opened to reveal Chris.

“Hey,” He said, giving you a smile.

“Why am I here?” You stated, plainly.

He gestured you to come in, and you followed him. You took your shoes off, and followed him into the kitchen before you were attacked by Dodger.

“Hey, buddy! I missed you!” You exclaimed.

“Well, he’s not the only one,” Chris said, before handing you a drink as you stood up.

“Are you going to tell me why I’m here?” You said.

Chris sighed, before getting straight to the point. 

“I’m sorry for the way I acted, and for what I said. It was stupid, and I let my personal feelings get in the way of our friendship. I really am sorry,” he said, looking you deeply in the eyes.

Your eyebrows scrunched. 

“You’re personal feelings? What does that mean?”

He cleared his throat before confessing.

“You remember that bouquet of flowers you got from your ‘secret admirer’?”

You nodded. “Yeah...”   

He looked up at you. “That was from me,” He said, looking down at his feet.

He heard the sound of you putting your glass on the counter, and he looked up just in time to see you walk up to him, grab his face, and press your lips to his.

He put his glass down, and wrapped his arms around you, before lifting you up and onto the counter.

A few moments later, he broke the kiss, and looked you in the eyes.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You asked, resting your forehead against his.

“I was scared. It’s a stupid excuse, but that’s it.” He responded, before kissing you again.

You don't have to say you love me I just wanna tell you something Lately you've been on my mind

Less than a minute later your back was pressed against the sheets of his bed, with his lips still on yours.

His lips left yours to trail down your neck, his beard tickling you sensitive skin there.

Chris ran his hand down your sundress clad body, and gripped your left leg, bringing it over his hip.

You moaned at the feeling of his jean covered hard on against your core.

You brought your hands up and around his neck. He pushed his tongue into your mouth as you tangled your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck.

He disconnected his lips from your skin, and looked you in the eye.

“You want this?” He mumbled out, and you nodded. He sat up on his knees and fumbled with the buttons on the front of your dress. He struggled for a few more moments before he gave up.

“I can’t get it,” He groaned, and you giggled.

You sat up and quickly undid them. Chris watched you for a few moments before he began stripping himself. Your dress was thrown on the floor, followed by his shirt and jeans moments later, before his mouth attacked yours once more.

You moaned out when he moved his mouth from your mouth to your chest. His hands trailed up from your hips, to your back to undo your bra, which he did successfully. 

He threw his head back and moaned at the sight of your uncovered breasts, before pressing kisses to them. 

You ran your fingers through his hair as his mouth moved lower.

He stopped just below your belly button, and his fingers looped into your underwear, before pulling them down.

He made eye contact with you, before lifting your left leg over his right shoulder, and diving into you. His tongue swiped over your clit twice, befarepressing into your entrance.

You cried out, and tugged on his hair.

“C-Chris, please,” You begged.

He removed his mouth from you to smirk in your direction.

“Yes, my love?”    

You groaned, and tugged on his hair again. “Get up here, and fuck me,”

He chuckled, but did as you asked. He sat up and tugged off his own underwear.

He spread your legs again, before gripping his own hard cock, and lining himself up with your entrance.

“Not my fault you taste like fucking heaven, baby,” He quipped. 

You rolled your eyes, and then threw your head back as he began to push in.

He bottomed out, and hovered over you again.

“You ready?” He asked, pressing a kiss to your nose.

“Obviously,” You said, before Chris pulled out slightly, and then snapped his hips against yours.

You cried out, gripping his biceps while he set a quick pace in his hips. 

Honey I'd walk through fire for you Just let me adore you

“I’ve wanted you like this for months, baby,” Chris growled out, snapping his hips against yours. “Ever since our first movie night, fuck.”

You moaned out. “I’ve wanted you like this since before we met,” 

Chris bottomed out, and ground his hips against yours. 

“Did he make you feel this good? Did he fill you like this?” Chris growled into your ear.

“N-No!” “Yeah, I’m the only one who makes you feel this good, right?” 

You nodded, and moved your hips under his. “I’m close, Chris,” You whined.

“Me too, baby, me too. God, you kill me,” He moaned out. “How’d you manage to make me last barely 5 minutes inside you,”

He dropped his torso against yours, and grasped your face in his hands.

“I want you to look at me when you cum baby,” He moaned, his thrusts becoming erratic.

You nodded, and wrapped your arms around his torso as you were barrelling towards your high, as was he.

He moved his right hand from your face, and snaked it in between your bodies, his thumb coming to rub circles on your clit.

“C’mon, baby, let go all over me,” He moaned in your ear, and you were pushed over the edge. 

You clamped down on. him, and he was pushed over as well.

Moments later, Chris collapsed against you, his head falling to your shoulder.

“I love you, too.” You whispered into his ear. “I realized I never told you.”

Chris chuckled. “We were a little busy, weren’t we?”      

You giggled, before connecting your lips once again.

Oh, honey Just let me adore you Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

#chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #chris evans angst #chris evans #Chris Evans and dodger #chris evans x reader #smut #fluff #angst

[mistymark]

the one with the Diet Coke bottle.

jung jaehyun x reader // 3.8k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which jaehyun suggests they play spin the bottle, but now everyone except him is kissing his crush

warnings; fluff I guess?? idk can I say nothing? (crack in the bonus?)

requested; nO whOopS

notes; this has been in my drafts for so long and I wrote the ending today but I hate it so ill probably redo it

“Hey, y/n!” Hearing your name being called, you turned around, walking backwards as you headed in the direction of your car, wanting to go home. Jaehyun ran to catch up to you, and you spun back around to walk by his side. “How’s it going?”

You couldn't help but smile at him, his adorable dimples showing as he reached a hand up to ruffle his hair out of his eyes, the brown locks falling gracefully into place over his forehead, leaving a perfect part in the middle. You shrugged,  “Alright. I’m so exhausted, you have no idea.”

He laughed at you, his free hand reaching into his pocket, while the other held his laptop and a notebook against his hip. It angered you how good he could look doing the most basic things. He spoke his words slowly, only slightly confused, “It’s 3 in the afternoon. Long night last night?” 

“Only ‘cause I was studying,” you cocked your head at him. As you reached a fork in the pathway, you pointed to the left, “I’m going this way.” 

“Me, too,” he nodded, walking only slightly faster to match your pace. “Hey, you’re coming to my party this Friday, right?”

You furrowed your brows in thought; you had really wanted to go, but you were pretty sure you had work that night. “I’m not sure. I might have a shift. I’ll get back to you?”

You stopped in front of your car, fishing your keys from your bag, and he stood opposite you, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “Well, hopefully I’ll see you there, then.” He nodded in farewell as he began backing away.

“Hopefully,” you grinned at him, wanting to go to the party Johnny had told you about more than ever now. 

“See you later, L/N!” He shouted from across the carpark, his hand cupped at his mouth, once he was safely standing on the edge of the road.

You waved at him, laughing so hard at the stupidly attractive boy from one of your lectures.

“So, you know about Jung Jaehyun’s party?” Johnny nudged your arm, almost causing you to spill your coffee down your front.

“Johnny!” You scolded, pushing him back, even though his coffee was safely sitting on the table. “And yeah, I’m going.”

“Me, too. His parties are legendary,” Johnny adjusted the collar of his white shirt, eyeing you over his coffee as he sipped it.

You leant forwards, poking his side, “And you should know, considering you go to all of them.”

“Never with my favourite girl,” he teased you back, batting your hand away.

Rolling your eyes, you leant back in your chair, “Tell that to the hundreds you’ve hooked up with in Jaehyun’s bathroom.”

“Tell that to the hundreds you’ve hooked up with in Jaehyun’s bathroom,” he mimicked your voice. “Maybe you should hook up in Jaehyun’s bathroom. Better yet, maybe you should just hook up with Jaehyun.”

You glared at him, “Shut up.”

“What? He thinks you’re hot.”

“Johnny! Shut up!” You felt yourself flushing a deep crimson, as you casually tried to hide your face with your hand, leaning your elbow on the table and placing your chin in your palm.

“I’ll pick you up at 8. Be ready,” he winked at you as he started gathering his things, pulling his jacket on over his shirt. Standing at the edge of the table, he drained the last of his coffee and pulled his laptop bag over his shoulder, bidding you goodbye before leaving you for his 4pm class. He waved at you from the door, his loud voice causing everyone in the café to turn and glare at him, “See ya!”

You groaned as the loud knocking continued on your door, “Y/n! I know you can hear me! Open up!”

Finishing the final adjustments to your hair and dragging your feet as you wandered to the door, you took your sweet time. Upon reaching the door, you looked out the peephole and sang out sweetly, “Who is it?”

You tried to hold back your laughter at Johnny’s distorted face, the unamused face staring at you through the fish-eye lens, “Very funny. Open the door.”

Giggling, you opened the door, holding it wide open for him to walk straight in, “I’m almost ready. Promise.”

Johnny did a quick fashion evaluation once-over and decided that, yes, you did indeed look almost ready, “This is why I said 8; I knew you’d still be getting ready at 8:30.”

“I’m just getting my shoes!” You yelled from your closet, tugging on a pair of heels before grabbing a denim jacket and tugging it on over your dress - the only protection from the harsh cold outside, with your bare legs exposed due to the dress’ short length.

Johnny seemed to think the same thing, “Are you sure you’re not going to be too cold?”

“I’ll get hot if I wear tights,” you assured him. He nodded, silently agreeing; his own jeans and light shirt perfect for the extreme temperatures both inside and outside the party. You eyed his exposed chest, the top buttons of his shirt left undone, “Are you unable to dress yourself?”

Without hesitation, he grabbed your keys from the table and opened the front door, ushering you out of your own apartment, shrugging, “Buttons are hard.”

---

You felt like you could hear the loud bass from the end of the street, a good half mile from Jaehyun’s house. You drummed your legs to the beat of the song playing in Johnny’s car, “So who’s tonight’s target?”

“No one.” He cast a sideways glance at you before continuing, “There’s a girl in my psych class... we’ve been studying together recently.”

You couldn't help yourself. “Ooooooooh! Johnny Seo actually has a crush!”

“It’s not a crush! She’s just...” he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anyway, she can’t come tonight.” He cleared his throat as he spotted an available parking spot, “Are you right to walk from here?”

You nodded. Walking to the party from halfway down the street, you and Johnny remained silent for a moment. “I didn’t mean to pry,” you said slowly.

“It’s okay. I’ll introduce you to her one day... if everything goes well,” Johnny tried his best to avoid your gaze, shy.

You hit him on the shoulder as you approached Jaehyun’s house, “Come on, you big softie. Let’s drink until I have to stop you from calling her.”

He laughed and followed you inside, and you immediately felt yourself being swallowed by the noise and the heat, suddenly very glad you weren’t wearing tights under your dress. Before you could even get past the entryway, someone was already crashing into you. Quickly, he put his hand on your shoulder to steady both himself and you, brushing over a quick apology as he tried to get past. A second later and he was standing back in front of you, the boy’s signature grin enveloping your vision, “Y/n! Hey!”

You laughed at Mark’s clumsy behaviour, noticing his eyes that were slightly glazed over and the somehow sweet smell of alcohol that lingered on his breath, “Hey, Mark. Where you headed?”

“Getting a drink,” he slurred, looking down and grabbing your hand. “Come on, I’ll show you where they are.”

Not thinking it right to comment on his drinking habits, you trailed behind him through the house party. You searched for Johnny, who already seemed to have deserted you, easily spotting the tall boy standing by a wall with a much smaller figure, his smile blinding. Just as you tried to get a better look, wondering if that was the girl he was crushing on, they left your vision when you rounded a corner into Jaehyun’s kitchen.

A crowd of people were standing around the tables and buckets of drinks, all talking in small groups. You recognised more people than you thought, though not the boy that was currently walking up to you, his orange hair almost as bright as his smile, “Mark, we’re starting the game. Wanna play?” His eyes flickered to you as he asked, and you wondered if that meant that you were included in the invite.

Mark put his new beer down - you thought he would probably forget about it - and put his arm around your shoulders, “Yeah! This is Yuta.”

You assumed he was talking to you, though his gaze is still fixated on the newcomer, and you stuck your hand out, “I’m Y/n.”

Yuta’s eyebrows rose slightly as he shook your hand, “Oh! You’re Y/n. Cool, you should play, too.”

Before you could argue, Mark was steering you in the direction of the stairs, slurring his words only slightly as he told you about how much fun this would be. Only a little concerned you were being led to a closed-off section of the party by a drunk boy and a boy you didn't know with the promise of a ‘game’, you follow. When you get to the landing at the top of the stairs, you see a group of a few friends and strangers sitting in a circle.

“Okay, I think it’s fairly clean. Anyone who stains the carpet gets to pay for-,” Jaehyun’s eyes meet yours as he steps out of what you assume is the bathroom, an empty bottle of Diet Coke in hand. “Y/n. You came.”

You match his smile and nod, “Hey. Yuta invited me to play. What are we playing?” You settle yourself down on the floor, your legs folded beneath you. Jaehyun takes his seat opposite you in the circle. Yuta pretends to look shocked, causing Mark to let out drunk giggles.

Doyoung turns to you, rolling his eyes only slightly, “Spin the bottle.”

You laugh as a girl you hadn’t met hit his chest lightly, and the way Doyoung turns his attention on her and laughs with her made you think he was only playing with the hope of kissing her. She gave him a look, “Lighten up. It’ll be fun.”

He cringed slightly and turned his attention to Jaehyun, who was carefully placing the bottle on the carpet, “Who wants to go first?”

Yuta immediately reached for the bottle, “I’m first.”

No one else seemed to want to contest him for the first spin, so everyone watched as Yuta spun the bottle, the end pointing directly at you.

You had played this game twice and never actually been on the receiving end of the bottle spin, and your jaw dropped open when you saw it was you who had to kiss the orange-haired boy. He grinned at you and you shrugged, watching as he shuffled past Mark to sit in front of you on his knees.

“Are you cool with this?”

You had previously thought Yuta was a little drunk, if not tipsy, but seeing him up close and the genuine concern in his eyes - rather than the telltale glazed-over look you saw when people (Mark) had been drinking - made you think he was sober. You nodded, a tiny smile inching its way onto your face, “Go for it.”

That was all he needed to lean in and press his lips against yours. Not wanting to take it too far, he kept them there for a moment, unmoving, before pulling away, grinning at you as he retreated back to his seat.

You looked nervously around the circle, unsure how the others felt about you crashing their mini party and kissing Yuta in the first five minutes of you being there. Doyoung looked approvingly at Yuta, and the girl beside him grinned at you, her hand now resting on his knee. Jaehyun stared at you, offering you a lopsided smile when his eyes met yours. Everyone else seemed focused on Mark, who had grabbed the bottle, ready for his spin.

He spun it gracefully, the plastic bottle turning quickly until it slowed, landing on Mark himself. He looked at the bottle as if it had betrayed him, “What?”

Yuta spoke up, “If it lands on you, you have to pick someone sitting beside you to kiss.” He looked around Mark at you, wiggling his eyebrows.

You laughed as Mark looked between you two, weighing the options before turning to you, “You’re a lot prettier.”

He winced, a loud slap being delivered to his ass by Yuta in retaliation, a mumbled, “Fuck you. I’m pretty.” Everyone laughs at his comment.

You looked up at Mark, eyes tracing his cheekbones and beautiful eyes, both appearing soft around the edges, “Are you okay?”

He nodded, a content smile on his face, humming, “Mhmm. So okay.”

You nodded and leant forwards from where you were sitting, briefly connecting your lips before pulling away, “Okay! My turn?”

Everyone nodded as you reached for the bottle, spinning it slowly, until it stopped, pointing at the gap between two boys on the other side of the circle. Jaehyun stared at the bottle pointing in his direction, biting his lip in anticipation, while the boy beside him, someone named Taeyong, leant back on his hands, smirking at you drunkenly from the across the circle.

All eyes turned on Yuta, who shrugged, “I don’t know. Spin again?”

The bottle seemed to dislike this, and rolled slightly to the right, and everyone agreed it was closer to Taeyong and there was no need to spin again. Getting up on your knees, you crawled your way to Taeyong, stopping just in front of him. You waited for him to sit up so you could kiss him.

The boy in front of you looked at Jaehyun, unsure of himself. Confused, you stated, “It’s okay if you don’t want to do this.”

Taeyong nodded, “I think I’m gonna be sick.” Immediately, he stood up and walked to the closed door Jaehyun had come out of when you first arrived.

Taken aback, you went back to your seat, “Ouch?” Everyone laughed goodnaturedly, and you waited for Doyoung to spin. His bottle spin landed on him, and he didn’t even cast you a single glance before leaning to his left and kissing the girl beside him.

You noticed her shock, before it dissipated and she begun kissing him back, her hand finding the back of his head. Unsure of what to do, you looked for Jaehyun’s help. He seemed just as surprised as you, and spun the bottle, shrugging as he left the two to continue, as they still hadn’t pulled away.

When the bottle landed on a girl on the right side of the circle, he stood up, “I should check on the party downstairs. Anyone want anything while I’m there?” You didn’t look at the girl it had landed on, someone you didn’t recognise, but you could feel her embarrassment radiating off her like waves.

A few people started calling out drinks, and you stood up, too, “I’ll help. I should look for Johnny.”

He nodded and cocked his head in the direction of the stairs, stepping around legs and dodging people to meet you there. The party was in full swing, and the crowd of people gathered at the bottom of the stairs left no room for you to walk through.

Without thinking, Jaehyun stuck his hand out, stepping in front of you into the crowd and guiding you through behind him. You kept a tight hold on his hand, squeezing it as you ducked under someone’s elbow.

A small smile made its way onto your face when you felt him squeeze your hand back. He guided you into the kitchen to grab a handful of beers, and you quickly looked around for Johnny, who had apparently disappeared. You hoisted yourself onto the counter as Jaehyun began opening cupboards, looking for something.

“What are looking for?” You asked him, tugging at the edge of your dress, trying to pull it down as to not be too revealing.

He looked at you through the strands of hair that had fallen into his face, as he searched through a cupboard under the counter you sat on, “Mark’s cruisers. They’re the only things he’ll drink.”

You laughed, remembering the sweet smell of his breath and the way he put down the beer he had opened when you first arrived, “He’s shy about it?”

Jaehyun furrowed his brows in thought, before nodding, “He’s embarrassed, I think. He tries to drink beers with the guys, but he never finishes them.” He laughed at your expression.

“And you’re not drinking tonight?”

He shook his head, “Not tonight. Someone needs to be responsible, and considering it’s my place...”

You nodded in understanding, watching him shake his head in an effort to get the hair out of his eyes as he continued rifling through the cupboard’s contents. Without thinking, you reached over and ran your fingers through his hair, pushing his fringe out of his eyes.

He looked back up at you in surprise, before offering you a warm smile and returning his focus to Mark’s drinks, the smile still on his face as he continued searching through the cupboard.

“Do you always play spin the bottle at your parties?” You asked when there was a brief silence.

His attention still on the drinks, which he had now found at the very back, and had begun to take out the entire cupboard’s contents to get to, he answered, “No. Normally I just set it up for them, warn them about stains on the cupboard and everything.”

“But you played tonight.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He paused for a moment, sitting back and looking at you, his dimples showing slightly as he bit his lip, “Maybe there was someone I wanted to kiss.”

You didn’t know how to answer, the shock was probably evident on your face as you hoped it was you he was talking about. Attempting to sound casual, you leant back back on your hands, crossing one leg over the other, “So naturally you leave the game when it’s your turn.”

He raised his eyebrow and smiled at your answer, grabbing a bright pink cruiser from the back of the cupboard and repacking the other bottles, “I don’t know, I didn’t think it was very fair.”

You furrowed your brows, confused, “What do you mean?”

“Everyone else got the opportunity to kiss you,” he stood up, leaning against the counter with one hand, a smirk on his face. You thought it was cute whenever he smirked like that, only one dimple showing itself; a perfect metaphor for Jaehyun, simultaneously adorable and hot as fuck. The display of bottles on the counter were waiting patiently to be taken to their new owners upstairs. You felt your breath hitch at his words and you decided they could wait.

You grinned and held up a finger to wait, and you grabbed Jaehyun’s wrist in one hand and leant over a few bowls of pretzels and other snacks to grab what looked to be an empty bottle of beer with the other. You positioned it on the counter and spun, your gaze flickering to Jaehyun’s face briefly. He was smiling slightly, biting his lip in an attempt to hide it, but the depth of his dimples gave him away.

When the bottle stopped spinning, pointing directly at him, you whispered, “Well?”

The last thing you saw before he closed the gap between you was his smile, broad and happy as his nose brushed gently with yours. You kissed him back straight away, one hand pulling him closer and the resting on his shoulder, sliding up into his hair. It felt like you were hyperaware of his movements, every brush of his fingers, every hum against your lips, every breath got you excited and tingly. His hands were positioned on your waist, and when you pulled away for air, he gave your sides a squeeze before pulling them away, one hand running through his hair, “Well, fuck.”

You laughed, “We should take these upstairs.” You gesture to the bottles on the counter beside you, and he nods.

“Do you still want to play?”

“Not really.”

He offers his hand out to you as you slide off the counter to stand beside him, and he leans down to peck your lips again, “Good. I want to show you something.” He smiles at you before disappearing into the crowd of the hallway, and you quickly grab the leftover bottles on the counter and follow him.

BONUS:

“Jaehyun,” you stop in the doorway to his bedroom. “This is your bedroom.”

“I know this looks bad,” he laughs as he keeps walking, making his way to the window, before opening it and gingerly climbing out. He stands up and suddenly all you can see are his legs. When he bends down, his face shines through the open window, “Just trust me, okay?”

He holds out his hand through the window, and you walk over to him, allowing him to pull you through the frame and onto the roof of the porch, “Isn’t this dangerous?”

“Only this part,” he flashes you a grin as he walks over to the side of the house, where a metal ladder hangs off the side.

When you reach the roof of the house, he sits down, his face tilted up at the sky, “I come up here when I need to think. I thought you’d like it.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, an amused smile on your face, “And let me guess, you’re going to tell me you’ve never brought anyone up here.”

He turns to you, his smile a challenge, “Actually, this is where I bring all the girls I like.”

You push him slightly, and he sways as he regains his balance, “Ew! Does that mean I’m sitting in like, a hundred different girls’ butt sweat?”

He laughs, “And not your own butt sweat?”

“I’m a lady, I don't have butt sweat.”

The edges of his mouth quirk up at the corners as he leans back on his hands and turns back to the view; houses and houses and, eventually, the ocean, “I brought Taeyong up here once but, other than that, you’re the first.”

You gasp loudly, “Taeyong’s butt sweat.”

He laughs and swats at your leg, rolling his eyes, “Oh my god, stop-”

You lean over to him, your hand resting on his chest for balance as you kiss him for the third time that night, though this one lasts a lot longer than the others.

When he pulls away, his face still mere inches from yours, he whispers, and you can see the way his dimples show when he smiles even from this close, “Honestly considering telling you to shut up again so you’ll kiss me.”

You roll your eyes, your lazy smile easily matching his, “Shut up.” He crashes his lips onto yours.

[celilasart]

The Little Potions Boy - Chapter 3

I’m so sorry that chapter 3 took me so long to finish, but tumblr gate happened and it just sucked all my motivation right out of me. And then the chapter just kept getting longer and longer, but everything is relevant to what is going to come. So here it is! Read Chapter 3 under the cut or on AO3 💚 Chapter 1 can be found here

Thursday, 3 December 1998

“You take care of yourself and come back safely, alright?” Draco stroked the snowy owl over her beautiful head before sending her off on her long flight across the ocean. Seeing Susan always reminded Draco of the snowy owl of a certain Gryffindor, and how said Gryffindor’s face used to light up when he saw her at breakfast.

Draco took a deep breath, put his gloves back on and went back to work. Thinking about Hogwarts wasn’t a good idea. He had so many regrets; things he shouldn’t have done because he should have known better, things he did even when he did know better… And with the regrets always also came the memories of his friends, the good ones when they had all been together, laughing in the Slytherin common room, and the bad ones when he had lost them one after the other. Vince in the Fiendfyre. Greg and Theo, who would be in Azkaban for another year or two. Pansy and Blaise, who had both been shipped off to some relatives abroad, waiting for … what exactly? For time to pass? For people to forget about their association with Him?

Draco sighed and continued filling up the water bowls. No, thinking about Hogwarts didn’t do him any good. He couldn’t change his past and he was stuck in a present where he couldn’t even afford to write to his mother without saving up, so letters to friends were unfortunately out of the question at the moment. Ironic for someone working in an owlery… But at least he had “his” owls for company.

This close to Christmas, the owls of the Owl Post owlery were working overtime. Merchants, customers, friends or family members: everybody was using them to order products, deliver goods and presents, or send letters. Owning just one owl was simply not enough at a time like this, and so a steady flow of customers kept everybody at the Owl Post office busy. This day had been especially long. There were currently 97 owls in the owlery and a few dozen should return from their errands during the night. Taking care of all them was a very time-consuming task, even with magic. On top of that, Mr Willis had held one of his famous “You’re a Death Eater, this is a punishment, work harder” speeches which had cost Draco even more time, so now he was once again the last to leave.

Heavy snowfall greeted him when he locked the old oak door of the owlery, and he was just walking into Diagon Alley through the narrow passageway which led around the building when he heard weak chirping to his right. Draco knew that birds were very good at hiding any sign of injury or illness, so he had learned over the last few months to observe all his feathery friends very closely and notice the smallest irregularities in their behavior. A distressed sounding bird, even with a tiny voice like this, was like an alarm signal to Draco’s ears, something he simply couldn’t ignore.

He held himself very still and listened for the sound, hoping he would be able to make it out again despite the wizards and witches still strolling through Diagon Alley now that the shops were closed. There it was! The weak chirping seemed to be coming from the entrance of the Owl Post office. Draco walked closer and continued to listen.

Two little box trees with Christmas decorations and fairy lights were in front of each shop, giving the Wizarding district a festive look, especially with all the snowflakes whirling around. Under one of those small evergreen trees, Draco found a tiny dirty bird, shivering in the icy cold and chirping miserably.

“Oh, you poor little thing,” Draco whispered and crouched down. “Let me warm you up first and then we can check if you’re injured, okay? Don’t be afraid, it’s just a bit of magic.”

With very slow, deliberate movements, Draco took his wand out of his winter coat and whispered a warming charm, pulling his magic back as much as possible. The bird was so small that he didn’t want to overheat it or cause burns.

Next, he cast some diagnostic spells he had learned during his first few days working at the owlery. Mr Willis might have been a grumpy old man, but he knew how to take care of owls and had taught Draco the basics.

“Hmm… these readings are worrisome, little one. Your wing is injured and you have a slight concussion.” Draco looked at some of the readings which were still floating through the air. The bird seemed to enjoy the warming charm and cocked its head to the side, following the floating numbers with a curious gaze.

“High stress levels, that’s understandable. Hmm… but this here’s not good; it looks like the beginnings of pneumonia. How long have you been sitting out in the cold?” Draco waved the readings away with a flick of his wand.

“Okay, tell you what. We’ll try a tiny numbing spell for your wing, all right?” Draco explained to the bird exactly what he was doing. Of course, he knew that birds couldn’t understand wizards as well as magical owls did, but he had noticed that the owls always reacted to the tone of his voice, so he kept whispering soothingly.

“Now that you aren’t in so much pain anymore, I can immobilize your wing for easy transportation because we really need to get you out of the cold.” A murmured spell and another flick with his wand, and … “There, that should do it.”

Draco put his wand away, opened his coat further and took his left arm out of his coat sleeve. Now he could take the bird carefully into his gloved hands, while one arm was inside his coat. The bird looked like a ball of admittedly very dirty feathers and fit perfectly into his palm. It didn’t seem to be afraid at all, looking at Draco trustingly.

“Merlin, you are filthy.” Draco was chatting with the bird, cradling it to his body. He held the winter coat closed with his right hand and hoped it would offer enough protection from the icy wind and snow while he walked back to his flat on Knockturn Alley. “Were you dragged through the mud by a cat? Or did you hit something in flight and fall into a puddle? The first thing we’ll do at home is get you cleaned up, and then we’ll have dinner. Does that sound like a plan?”

Draco’s flat didn’t really deserve to be called that. It was just a run-down single room with adjoining bathroom in the cellar of a shop on Knockturn Alley. Slippery, uneven stairs led down to the entrance, but before he could walk those down, he saw frantic movement in one of the first floor windows. And sure enough, a few seconds later his landlord stormed out of the house, clad in a thick woolen robe, horrendous Christmas-themed joggers and pink slippers.

Great. Draco had hoped to avoid an encounter since he knew exactly what it was about. He tried to keep the bird hidden, pulled back his shoulders, and hoped this wouldn’t turn ugly.

“Malfoy! It’s the third! Where’s the rent?!”

“Good Evening, Witherby. I’m sorry, you’ll get it as soon as the Owl Post office pays me.” His hand holding the bird was shaking inside his winter coat. Please don’t let him discover the bird on top of it all. “We’re overrun with customers this close to Christmas. It must have slipped Willis’s mind that it was the first two days ago. I’ll remind him about my salary tomorrow.”

“Humph,” Mr Witherby narrowed his eyes and stepped closer. He was almost a head shorter than Draco, but that didn’t change the fact that this was his shop, his house, his cellar, and if he wanted, Draco would be homeless in a heartbeat. “You do that, boy,” he said between clenched teeth, stabbing a finger repeatedly into Draco’s ribcage. “You bring me that money. Just because I knew your father doesn’t mean you get to stay here for free! Got that?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Draco nodded once, said “Good night” and was finally able to flee down the stairs to his room. When the door closed behind him, he walked the three steps to his bed on shaky legs and sat down heavily.

“Merlin,” Draco muttered.

Excited chirping brought him out of his thoughts, so he shrugged his coat off and held the bird closer to his face.

“Hello, you! I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you wait,” he said, trying to go for a cheerful and carefree tone. His little guest had quite enough troubles which needed to be taken care of first before Draco could think about wallowing in self-pity.

“Right,” Draco yawned and got up from the bed. “Bath, food, sleep. First you, then me. And maybe a name for you, what do you think?”

Draco chatted on while rearranging a few things on his work table, making space for the bird with one hand before carefully setting it down and taking off his gloves.

His room didn’t hold much. A single bed was standing along one wall with a small bookshelf at its head. He’d engorged his favourite potions books and a few of his dragon sculptures when he’d moved in, and left most his other possessions shrunken down in one of the trunks at the end of the bed. Seeing those familiar items always gave him a sense of safety and home. The same could be said about his blue cauldron and his brewing utensils which were on the work table standing opposite the bed. A small sink with a cupboard above it was on the wall between bed and work table, and right next to the sink, a door led to the bathroom. Draco had tried to make the place as comfortable as possible, hanging up the posters he’d had in his dorm room at Hogwarts, on which famous Quidditch players zoomed around on their brooms or posed enticingly. A huge Slytherin banner was stuck to the wall next to the entrance. Above the banner, a tiny charmed window close to the ceiling gave the illusion of a view into rolling hills under a starry sky. In reality, the window just let you see the dirty facade of the houses opposite; not even a tiny bit of sky could be seen through it, no matter what angle you tried. So Draco had charmed the window as best as he could, and had tried to replicate the view out of his bedroom window at the Manor. On the floor of his basement room was a thick warm rug, also from his room at the Manor. He’d had this dark purple rug forever and loved curling up on it with a blanket, a cup of tea and a good book. He could read there for hours.

But first things first! Draco looked at the dirty bird, which was more mud brown and grey than anything else right now, and fetched his wand from his coat on the bed.

“Well then, what do you actually look like under all this dirt?”

Draco performed some complicated wand movements and spoke the accompanying cleaning spell — an appropriate one for birds since it didn’t destroy the water-repelling properties of their feathers — and came face to face with a still disheveled, yet clean red-yellowish bird. It had about doubled in volume, now that the dirt wasn’t weighing down its feathers, and looked like a ball of fluff on thin legs, quite a few feathers still going in all directions.

Draco just stared at it, and the bird stared back at Draco — with its cute green eyes, encircled by dark round markings.

“I…,” Draco swallowed. Fuck! This damn bird looked like a certain disheveled Gryffindor, glasses and house colours and crazy hair and all. Only the famous scar was missing. He narrowed his eyes, pulled a few times on his bottom lip while thinking and then said determinedly: “Git.”

The bird, which had started hopping around on the table, exploring its surroundings, was currently facing away from Draco. When it heard the one-syllable word, it looked back, watching Draco curiously.

“Your name’s Git. I think it’s fitting.” Draco proclaimed. “You’ll probably be nothing but trouble,” he grumbled, then couldn’t help himself and continued: “But damn it, you’re a cute ball of fluff, aren’t you, my boy?” He stroked Git over his tiny head, then accioed a small plate, filled it with a careful Aguamenti and put it in front of the bird.

“Now let’s see what we have to eat for you. I think I have some owl treats left. You could nibble on those for tonight, and we’ll get some more appropriate food for you tomorrow. Maybe some sunflower seeds? Would you like that?”

Draco rummaged through one of his trunks while talking to the bird. He never got owl post here, his mother’s letters were always delivered to the Owl Post office, so he didn’t have any treats at hand, but maybe there were still some between his Hogwarts things.

“Oh, wait, I might have a few in my coat pocket.” And yes, there were two owl treats and a few crumbs left from his work day. “There you go. Bon appétit, mon petit.”

Draco let the owl food drop on the table next to Git’s plate before being finally able to take care of his own needs.

After a hot shower and some cold dinner with bread, cheese and a green apple, Draco felt infinitely better. He’d eaten at his work table next to Git and shared his food with the little rascal. The bird had wanted to nibble on everything.

Now, Draco was sitting on his bed, leafing through one of his potions books, while Git was still on the work table, hopping around, inspecting everything and chirping happily about his discoveries.

Draco had had to put up heavy silencing charms when he moved in because of his nightmares. He renewed them regularly, which meant that Git could now make as much noise as he liked without any fear of disturbing the landlord.

Ah, there it was. Draco had finally found the chapter about mending bones, and was now trying to figure out how many drops of Skele-Gro he could safely administer to Git in order to heal his wing. Thank Merlin, all the potions and ingredients from the Manor — at least those which weren’t confiscated by the Ministry — were also in Draco’s trunks. Buying potions really was out of the question with his meager funds.

Draco yawned again and rubbed his eyes as the letters started swimming on the page. He really needed to get some sleep; he only had to figure this out first. The day had been hell, and tomorrow, it all began anew. Just this time, he had a little fireball of a bird to keep him company; at least until Git was well enough to find a warm spot during winter.

Notes

Bon appétit, mon petit. = Enjoy your meal, my little one.

#drarry #25 days of drarry #25daysofdracoandharry #25 days of draco and harry #the little potions boy #draco malfoy #harry potter #epilogue what epilogue #fairy tail retelling #based on the little match girl #by hans christian andersen #gosh #i'll try to catch up #harry's chapters should be a bit shorter at the moment #until both of them meet at least #thank you so much for sticking around #i hope you like our new character #on day 4 we're back with harry in romania #thank you so much for reading

[jimmycarrhairlinesurgery]

hey abby guess what. 1-30

1: Favorite season?

you KNOW you KNOW a softe bitch loves season 5 its just pure and nice and comforting to watch and also has so many goode episodes and macden moments in it... i literally have the url iasipseasonfive saved like need i say more

2: Favorite character?

its mac... like ofc it is ive loved dennis and dee in the past and of course i still have a soft spot for the trash twins esp their childhoods but mac’s coming out arc is just perfect and he just wants to be a happy boye! honestly it might change but my big three are den dee and mac sorry gruesome twosome 

3: Favorite cast member?

i kin glennato and like LOVE his weird music taste but i have 2 say kaitlin olson shes so present on social media and the utter reverence with which the other cast members speak abt her is just. beautiful! she’s credited with literally saving the show by making dee just as despicable as the rest of the gang she’s a feminist queen and also managed to cuff rmacelhenney like kudos girl! angel queen gorgeous etc

4: OTP?

it’s mac and dennis honestly their relationship can get my heart pounding and it was the main reason i was drawn to the show in the first place... kings of being repressed sexually and emotionally and honestly i related to that feeling of being repressed and in love w your best friend like not to project on characters that have nothing to do w me but they rlly helped me work through some issues!!! im not as ride or die as before because theyve already done so much but fingers crossed for s14 lads

5: BROTP?

ooooo this is difficult bc i love charmac but mac and dee is the friendship we deserve.... she could help him get over his raging misogyny and he could introduce her to the gay lifestyle how perfect would that be?? also i just feel like when they r alone they could be so nice to each other and i want that for them

6: NOTP?

one of them raped the other, what more can i say?

7: answered

8: Least favorite character?

it has to be frank like i get so angry thinking about how he abused dennis and dee as children he has almost zero redeemable qualities but like.. i could learn to love him if mfhp was a turning point... i just can’t ever get over the fact that he owned a sweatshop the joke stuff just isn’t even funny to me it makes me feel ill

9: Least favorite episode?

uhhhh if you’ve seen iasip ranked you’ll know that we ranked a cricket’s tale and frank’s brother as the worst but i’d also like to put up there the gang goes on family fight bc dennis’ breakdown is painfullll... other episodes that hurt me personally are the gang broke dee and how mac got fat

10: Favorite crack ship?

deetress started off as a crackship but it’s become honestly very serious and i hold it v close to my heart... if you don’t believe me watch one single minute of the boggs ladies reboot.... honorable mention is charden 

11: Favorite headcanon?

hhmm i think that one of my favourite ones of all time is dennis is the bar like that was inimitable... also like hc that dee is lesbian bc she is

12: An episode you wish you could change?

all lethal weapon episodes... imagine how iconic they could be and quotable as well if they didn’t include blackface :(

13: An episode you wish you could write?

i want to write a vegas ep for sure.... like imagine also i would NOT do it justice but the episode where mac and dennis first get together, oof actually you’d do a better job of it tbh

14: Favorite thing about the show?

it has to be rcg like what other showrunners would care so much about the fate of the show and adapt it so much as time goes on... as much as i slander them on this website they really created one of the best shows to ever air

15: Least favorite thing about the show?

hmmm aside from all the blackface and the fact that they should have hired black writers if they wanted to address race in the show.... the fact that the gang r being so mean to mac and the whole ddl thing it’s a nightmare why didn’t they tell us what was going on with dennis??

16: Favorite running gag?

charlie’s illiteracy......... iconique also repressed mac was a good gag while it lasted i am glad he is out though

17: Best Mac shirt?

BEAST COAST

18: Best Dennis rant?

hnndg im gonna have to say the whole keeping the skin,, skin glass box thing in season 10 i forget the name of the episode but GOD that kills me every time glenn really went to julliard huh

19: answered

20: answered

21: Favorite end credits message?

idk i never watch the end credits messages! send me your favourites if you have any lads :)

22: A character you’d write off the show?

ngl probably cricket... he really bores me and like a cricket’s tale cemented that i think everything they can do with the character they have done but for longevity they have to keep him so he can supplement the gang’s schemes

23: An actor you want to see on the show (bonus points if you can think of a character for them)?

ooooooooo i’d love if dax sheppard came back on the show!! also i WISH lili reinhardt could come on but as betty from riverdale.. like a 30 second betty from riverdale cameo would be so ideal you have no idea it would be so stupid but like... hh

24: Favorite fic?

Yphrum’s Law by @lesbianfreyja chapter one made me BAWL (andchaos on ao3) and also anything by @macfoundhispride (yennefers on ao3)  and also your fics michelle !!! everyone go check her out she’s peraltiagoisland on ao3 

25: Favorite promo shoot?

the fuckign ingrid bergman one for season 8 i have no idea why they would do that but it’s incredible..... so niche i feel like it was glennato’s idea

26: Best Waitress hair-style?

sexeyyy episode charlie and dee find love her hair was so pretty long but also i love it now im glad she went brunette again good for her!! any waitress hairstyle is a good hairstyle

27: Fluffy hair Mac or hair-gel Mac?

FLUFFY HAIR MAC ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

28: answered in GREAT DETAIL

29: Overrated character?

cricket... not to bash cricket again.... but also frank and charlie are overrated imo i can’t understand why charlie is the show’s darling i’ve never been that interested in him

30: Underrated episode?

the most underrated episode of all time is pop-pop the final solution i love it sm.... GOD it’s so good it truly has everything and like the nazi stuff was well executed.. questions abt life and death,,, deception, ryan gosling? i love it also dennis reynolds an erotic life is amazing 

this took me like an hour and a half michelle i hope you’re happy!! also if you’re still reading thank you for putting up w my bullshit

[neth-dugan]

Nine Worlds - Sunday

Saturday found [HERE]

I woke up on Sunday not feeling really tired, but also really sad that it would be the last day. And on Sunday stuff ends earlier too which is also a bummer. I get why, some have to leave in the evening but it’s still sad. This was also the day when I had the most panels to sit on. 

AIs AND SUPERINTELLIGENCES - ARE THEY REALLY COMING FOR US?

...bonus points if you recognise this movie that wasn’t mentioned in the talk.

A good portion of this was on the history of computing, which was interesting, From pre-electronics to Ada Lovelace to Alan Turing to Siri.

I wish I remembered more. it went through a few modern computers that had passed various landmarks such as chess and go and the like. And then the ‘scary’ bit that sci-fi doesn’t tend to cover so much. If an AI comes about there is a good chance it’ll focus on one task and obsess over it, and do so in a way that human brains don’t get  and can’t really combat. Like, they could focus so much on one menial thing that they take over the planet to make the perfect paperclips.

To me, a question at this point is does this count as an AI? If it can’t reason its way that destroying the world to make a paperclip is a tad much is it a true AI or just a very very smart and resourceful paperclip making software. 

It’s not like I’d expect AIs to think in the same way humans do, but some ability to reason and set their own goals or change their minds would seem to be a part of it. And endlessly striving towards perfecting one goal originally programmed into them by a human that they can’t break free of? Not sure that counts. I know even humans can be very goal orientated, and some of us can focus very intently on things and that is our thing. But the way the speaker was talking about it sounded different. I don’t know. Would be interesting to stick people from different fields in a room and have a chat about it.

A thing I found interesting in all this talk of AIs going way too OTT to fulfil an imperative, and AIs taking over for whatever reason... there was no mention of texts where humans wilfully submit. Which, granted, there aren’t a lot. I had to run off after this for my own panel but I made sure I told the speaker about Travellers. It isn’t the main plot of the story or anything but worth checking out for how they do the AI thing.

OUR LAST, BEST HOPE FOR SCIENCE FICTION:25 YEARS OF BABYLON 5

It’s been twenty five years since the B5 pilot, and it’s still one of the best science fictions hows out there, and one with far too little recognition. Last year, @knittedace and I kept saying we need to do a B5 panel this year. Needed to do one. Turns out we weren’t the only ones an a bunch of us submitted a proposal for one, and the Nine Worlds content folk shoved us into an e-mail group together and let us figure it out. Which is amazing, but also daunting because there is so much to talk about for this show. @knittedace decided she’d rather be in the audience but still, so much fun.

One of our panelists cosplayed as Londo last year and offered to do so again for this panel. Someone, at some point, suggested he remain in character for the panel, and so it began. Ambassador Mollari moderating it which a bottle of his favourite tipple on hand, and Centauri woman on hand to keep him in line, a Bajoran Starfleet officer trying to bridge rifts and a human along for the ride.

...the Bajoran Starfleet officer (me) praying to Susan Ivanova

Funnily enough, the night before this I was approached by a guy who was going to be on my Star Trek panel. It turns out he has a Psi Cop uniform and wondered if I wanted him to turn up in it. I said yes please, that would be fantastic. And when he turned up? It was a very good uniform, and as an impromptu thing I asked if he wouldn’t mind staying in character for the session. He said yes and it was so good.

...the Corps is mother, the Corps is father.

People noticed coming in that he was there, and what he was doing, and I think a few were rather tickled by it. Before the panel proper started I did warn them all that we had him there, and as such we all needed to send him nasty thoughts in 5, 4, 3, 2...1. And he played along. There was a fair bit of this going on through the panel at different bits and I don’t know how it looked to others, but sitting on stage it felt great.

We did a quick stop tour about a lot of things. The fantastic women of B5, and how they’re all different from each other. How characters grow and change and have depth, and in fact there is a lot of change in B5. We talked a fair bit about how it shows the rise of racism and how insidious it can be. How it can sneak up on you. And how we need to learn from that. How it did well regarding diversity, especially given its time and how it made Ivanova bi and treated same gender marriage as a simple fact of life in the time period of the show.

One line I remember fondly coming from Londo was “Behold Minbari Jesus - his name is Jeff”. Which made me laugh inside a fair bit.

We talked a lot about our favourite moments. I couldn’t choose. I was stuck between this moment, this moment, and the War Without End two parter. Londo stepped out of character and the real person talked about this amazing scene between Londo and G’Kar that you can see here and I’ll never do justice describing. 

We also talked about Michael O’Hare. It turns out not everybody knew his story, so here is a link to JMS himself talking about it. But in short, he wasn’t well and had some mental health issues going on in the first season to the point where he had to leave at the end. Nobody on the cast knew, they thought he was just odd or short tempered but had no idea. JMS got him as much support as he could on set, ready to pull the plug when he needed to. Which he did at the end of the season. O’Hare told JMS that when he died, he could tell the world what had happened. And so JMS did. 

It amazes me what that man went through, that he was determined to keep the show going, keep all the people working on it employed and tell that story even though it was hard and there had been offers to stop production. It makes me sad that he felt the stigma around mental health to the point where he couldn’t be open about it, or that he wasn’t able to receive better treatment whilst working. We do know that he did get treatment and he eventually got better as he appeared in season three for two episodes and you can visibly tell he looks better.

Babylon 5 has had a lot of deaths in its cast over the years. A lot, especially considering it wasn’t even made that long ago. In the group we’d decided we were definitely going to do a moment of silence in the memory of those now beyond the rim. And though I think we were going to do it at the end, it felt right to do it after talking about O’Hare, as he is one of those deaths. He died of reasons unrelated to his mental illness, for those wondering. 

...two of those now lost to us. 

Despite that sombre note, we had a fantastic panel and had a great time. Our resident Psi Cop took the microphone around the audience for us instead of one of the tech volunteers (who usually do it). We had a few people in Star Trek costumes, myself included, and we did mention Star Trek and DS9. All without being mean, hostile or falling into that trap of ‘we must be rivals and look down on DS9′ thing you see in some B5 groups. 

I’d declared there would be none of this on the group chat before, all agreed, and at least one person mentioned to me after that they were glad this didn’t happen. So yay.

Also, at the end I declared one side of the room purple, and one side green. The room was decently full and even if one side didn’t go back as far, I don’t think there was a massive difference in numbers. So after checking it was okay with everyone, we had a shouting contest and whichever side won, won for their team.

Purple won. Even if I weren’t on the panel, I still think this would be a up on events this year.

FAT REPRESENTATION IN GEEK CULTURE, PART TWO (SECOND BREAKFAST)

A sequel to a pane a couple years back that I wasn’t at, this was amazing. It was, in large, a big group therapy session on living life when you’re big. How you’re treated and dismissed and harassed and ridiculed. How people will justify it as being ‘concerned for your health’ which is a a bunch of bull. The ignorance and also how the way we grow up and society leads to self loathing and the like. The need for body positivity and how some parts of the fashion world are starting to cater to us.

It was pretty freeing. Nine worlds in general is pretty great about size. I’ve never felt shamed for being large. Never felt out of place for it or looked at the wrong way. But this space especially was really great. 

There are things you don’t get if you aren’t fat. The way people can look at you when you eat, the way you’re sometimes scared to eat your fill, the way being your body is seen as itself an imposition on the space of others just by existing or sitting down. The way you’re always so conscious of that. Of that person who jumps out of their seat next to you the minute they can to go sit somewhere else. Anywhere else. 

So this? I loved this.

...now, if people designing clothes for us fat folk would realise that me being fat does not mean I have big boobs. Or that some of us carry in the stomach a ton. And design for that. And get models for that. 

If they do this again next year? I am going back. That is for sure. 

SUBVERTING BRO CULTURE AND FANWORKS

Whilst waiting for this to start, being the only panelist in the room for a while and not wanting to stare ate folks, I struck up a conversation around B5 and Star Trek, I think. I know B5 was in there at least. But, y’know, nerd convention. To be expected.

I was asked to be on this pretty late, had the least prep out of the four I sat on or ran, and mostly agreed for the Check, Please! content that would likely pop up. There was a lot of sports fandom stuff which I don’t know so well, but also a lot of things that work fandom wide. And culture wide. And another panelist knew a lot about a game I know nothing of, but themselves knew nothing of Check, Please! It was kinda amusing, but still worked some how I think.

It occurred to me, that maybe one of the reasons you get so many coffee shop AUs (and similar) is to take these characters doing dangerous things in very bro culture places and put them into a different place. A less bro place, a safer place. I’m still fed up of the things but I do wonder if that’s the case, and that makes me think of them better.

If you look at fandom, at some of the popular tropes or tendencies you see a lot of this. Characters in a very masculine environment, and fandom deconstructing that somehow. Either by complete AUs or by building families or what have you.

There was a lot of real life sports situations, sports fandoms and real life bro culture at college. How some places are trying to dismantle this but especially in universities with the constant turnover of students etc it takes real effort and framework. 

Oh, also, lots of good things said about Brooklyn Nine Nine. Which. Yes. That show is so good and subverts so many stereotypes and it doesn’t have the ‘chase you endlessly’ guy ‘win’ the girl, but eventually realise they need to back off. And Terry. And Jake who starts off not the best, though still better than most, and just gets better and better. And. And. Good show on subverting bro culture, that one. Also lots of talk of Black Sails, but I know nothing of this sadly. One of its actors turned up and was on a panel I think? Don’t know which actor or which panel though, but that is awesome. I’d so do that in their position too.

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY - SQUEE AND MOAN

Some time last year before the show aired, a bunch of nerds decided we would likely want to talk about this show at Nine Worlds and all submitted the idea of ‘Star Trek: Discovery. Something. We’ll figure it out later’. And then much like my B5 group, we were all thrown in together to figure it out. It seems like my title was kept but honestly? It wasn’t a ton of moan. The panelists were all fans, something I warned the room of ahead of time.

Much like my Queer Dax panel last year, there were a fair few people in the room before start time. So we ended up having a pre-panel panel on Star Trek in general and the new Picard series specifically. I also recommended ‘A Stitch in Time’ by Andrew Robinson (Garak) and how you can get it as an eBook now. I know for a fact at least one person has since bought it. Muahahahaha.

Our friend the Psi Cop from earlier had now changed uniform to TOS movies uniform, now a proud Starfleet officer. A far better costume than my TNG uniform hoodie and pin. After asking permission to audio record it, he did so and so you can listen to the entire panel here. It’s about an hour long but I think interesting.

Honestly, I could’ve kept talking about it for ages. I had notes of what we’d agreed to talk about on e-mail, and which order of priority they sat at. Of course new stuff pops up and the flow of it means you may miss a thing or flip the order a bit but I find having that sort of thing really useful. I tweeted about it later and Doug Jones, Saru himself, liked it so yay. Someone on the cast knows a convention full of nerds in England love his work.

We talked about diversity, how like other Treks this one was made to fit the world we live in as it is made. How the tone of sci-fi has shifted and if that’s impacted things. Diversity and representation. Some things we didn’t think were so great. But generally it was a big ‘WE LOVE YOU’ fest.

It was also the last formal panel of Nine worlds. I think there were a two things in the slot after, but this was in the last major slot. It was an honour really.

FOOD AND DINNER AND REST OH MY

So I’d been separated rom @knittedace and @laalratty most of the day. I was also a bit tired and kinda wondering around the bar area when I came across @unwoundbobbin and proposed the four of us go to dinner if everyone was okay with it. But I did need to go to my room and rest a bit.

So I did, everyone was good with the idea, though it took the three of us a while to get back downstairs to meet up with @unwoundbobbin again. There was some Slash played but we went off to Wagamama’s for dinner where we had great food and good conversation. Me and @knittedace were out of costume at this point. 

It was sad. End of the con. But there was one formal thing left...

THE NOT THE END OF THE CON QUIZ

The quiz at the end of the convention. It is tradition, though it was also a new group of people doing it this year.

The four of us got a table, and found ourselves sharing with another two, and then another two people found their way to us later. Amusingly, at dinner there had been talk of which topics would be preferable to turn up. They turned up.

@knittedace and @laalratty got us most of our points, the everyone contributed and in a tough race every single point is essential. At one point @laalratty thought the giant spider in Harry Potter was called Aragorn and that was amusing but I’m not kidding. Those two were fantastic. And when we won? We won in large part thanks to them.

...me with my price of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers coaster. TRICERATOPS! I’m also slightly worried about the Riddler, looks like something may be afoot.

We got to go up and pick out our prizes, a few bits of ‘stuff’ per person. I saw Power Rangers and went ‘MINE!’ and so now I have MMPR coasters. It was all kindly donated by a con goer and quiz partaker who was apparently trying to clear out a lot of nerdy goods they have. Which seemed to have not been touched, packets not opened and the like. 

IT’S THE FINAL CON NIGHT.... *CRIES*

And that was it. The last official event of Nine Worlds. Our team drifted towards the bar, claimed a table for victory celebrations. Which mean @knittedace wearing an inflatable crown she’d chosen as a prize, and playing Slash.

A good portion hadn’t heard of slash before so we had to teach them. Some just wanted to watch rather than play - though some of them joined in. I think everyone was enjoying themselves in their own way and I was glad to have a big long hard game of Slash. I felt like I hadn’t been playing it nearly enough, as Nine Worlds is the only place I can.

I did manage to convert several people to it though. It should be noted, that it’s a home made deck and we don’t really play with any rules. It’s mostly card assisted crack fic creation. As the night went on some drifted away to bed, some others drifted towards us and joined in. It was fun.

Whilst this was going on, and as the bar slowly emptied, there was another group of people in the bar doing tarot reading. Me, @laalratty and @knittedace stopped there on the way to our room. Got our readings. Mine was done on this really awesome deck that was queer friendly and fat friendly and stuff. I loved the artwork. I don’t believe there’s any actual magic or power in it other that what we choose to place on it ourselves. But it was fun. And the person doing it was pretty awesome themselves, asks you questions and makes you think. Which is tarot at its best I think. Not the claiming to know what will come next.

As all this was going on, a group of nerds had gathered around a grand piano near the main lobby entrance. The lift that brought in people from the outside world, and a few people did arrive to find themselves being serenade with nerdy songs they didn’t understand. But it was great. They sang well, the piano player played well. The woman who did the BSL sessions was there and I think was signing at one point. 

We neared them to get to the lifts to our room, and as they did so I heard them sing this song. Which will always and forever make me think of Due South. Of new beginnings in endings. I think I said something long the lines of ‘OMG!’ when I realised what they were singing and surprised them. Oooops. But that song gives me many feels. I don’t know if anybody there knew of the Due South connection, but I hope so.

And with that, me, @knittedace and @laalratty went to the room. Went to bed. And Nine Worlds was over. Which makes that song being the last thing I heard at the convention fit pretty well, to be honest.

MISC STUFF

So, our room? Our room had the best number ever.

Yup, three asexuals got to the room, saw the 69 and giggled a lot. And found it amusing all through the convention. Didn’t tell anybody at the time as giving your room number to strangers is a bad idea. But we aren’t there now, so I can share.

They put three asexuals in a 69 room. Brilliant.

On a not so fun side, every night there was a disco I could hear it as I tried to get to sleep. On the fourth floor. I am not best pleased by that and really wish they’d turn the volume down. It’s annoying enough for me, but at least I know what is going on and understand it. Not everyone at the hotel is a convention goer. People have been telling Nine Worlds for years to please turn it down but it’d seem not.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT POLICE THING? THE FUTURE OF NINE WORLDS?

I’m going to do a separate post for that. I will link to that both HERE and on Thursday’s post once posted. 

#nine worlds #nineworlds #babylon 5 #star trek #omgcp #body positivity #b99

[dictionarywrites]

Oh my gosh i love your writing 💜💜💜. I wanted to request Loki not feeling well or somthing. But the Grandmaster not wanting to show how worried he is because he doesn't want to look weak or harm his reputation.

Thanks so much, Anon, that’s so kind of you to say! I’m not sure if this is exactly what you wanted, but I took the idea that came to mind and went with it.

Loki is ensconced in the quarters he has managed to get for himself on Sakaar, attempting to work his way through a rather uncomfortable situation - when the Grandmaster arrives at his door, Loki loses his temper, and fears the worst will be his punishment. Rated M. Mild warning for blood & implied non-consensual hormone treatment, as well as the expected power imbalance. 

Ao3 link. Tip jar. Send a request. 

Loki lets out ashort, pained groan, and he shifts on his side, his head pressed against his pillow,which is markedly cool beneath his skin, and the fabric itself is crusted withfrost. The Jötnar, Loki knows, do not tend to beds themselves: they sleep onslabs of cool ice with frozen pieces of stone beneath their heads, and Lokiwishes, in this moment, he could indulge in such luxury. Instead, he lies,twitching occasionally, on a bed of luxurious silks and eiderdown pillows,frost forming beneath the weight of his limbs.

He looks up at theceiling, which is – of course, this is a planet of decadence and excess –panelled in mirrors, and he sees himself in the mirror. His skin is visiblydamp, where he is warmer than he ought be and affecting condensation to formbefore it can turn to frost, and he is breathing heavily, his chest rising andfalling. His stomach is cramping, his head is aching, and Loki wishes he could be naught but a river rock insteadof a man.

Naked, he can seehis own cock limp against his thigh, and see the blood between his legs. Hemight wear some sort of padding, some device or other, but as soon as he thinksof moving, he feels another cramp make itself known, dragging about the muscles deep within his belly and clenching,twisting.

Oh, what agony.

A ring sounds fromthe door to Loki’s private (ha!) roomin this towering building of Sakaar, and he groans, pressing his face furtherinto the pillow. His hand against his belly, he lets ice form upon his fingers,and he uses it to try to soothe the desperate pains within him.

“Hello?” comes a voice from the intercom,and Loki feels his blood run hot. The Grandmaster! Shit. Shit!

“Shit,” Lokimutters to himself, dragging himself hastily from bed and dragging the sheetabout his body – with the pain distracting him, his illusions are impossible tomaintain, and he is forced to stumble toward the door, leaning heavily on themirrored wall beside it as he pulls it open.

The Grandmasterstands at the door of Loki’s bedchambers, and he takes Loki’s bedraggled statein: he looks from Loki’s limp hair to his bitten-bloody lips, down to his dampchest and the half-frosted sheets wrapped hap-hazardly around his body, down toLoki’s bare feet. His eyes narrow slightly, and Loki feels his heart leap inhis chest.

“You were in bed?At this hour?”

“It’s not dawnyet, Grandmaster,” Loki says, his fist tightening in its grip upon the fabricover his belly, and the Grandmaster lets out a short, single exhalation.

“Well, exactly. It’sway too early to go to bed. Someone in there with you?” Why is he here? Loki looks askance between theGrandmaster and the two guards that flank him – Topaz, mercifully, is at leastnot to be seen – but he gleans no answers.

“No, Grandmaster:I am quite alone.”

“Uh huh,” theGrandmaster says. Loki hears the dry disbelief in his tone, and he feels fearburst within him – Monogamy is justthe name of a cocktail here on Sakaar, and he finds it difficult to believethat the Grandmaster would be gentle were Loki to have lain with another in thefive days he’s been on this damned planet. Particularly since they have only lain together once, and that was in the midst of anorgy. “There’s purple on your mouth.”

“What?” Loki says,and he turns to the mirror, the fingers of his spare hand going up to his lips.The Grandmaster isn’t wrong: there ispurple on his lower lip, and he realises when he feels its un-Æsir thicknessbeneath his fingers that it’s his own blood – these are the worst monthly painsLoki has ever experienced, and it seems even the most basic of his enchantmentsis failing him. “That’s my blood.”

“Your blood is red,isn’t it?” The Grandmaster presses, and Loki hesitates before he awkwardlyshakes his head.

“No, not really,”Loki murmurs, and then says, “Look, Grandmaster, I— This isn’t a good time forme to receive guests, and I must apologize for my appearance, but I’m… Actuallyrather unwell.”

“Look, ah, Loki— You’re cute and all, but I don’tlike to be lied to.”

“I’m not lying,” Loki says, plaintively. “I amill.”

“There’s noillness on Sakaar,” the Grandmaster says, beginning to step forwards, and Lokiungracefully steps back away from him, tripping on the sheet in his hurry toget away and landing in a heap upon the ground, the blanket falling about hiswaist. “Germs, stuff like that – they’re screened as people come in.”

“Would you just get out?” Loki snaps, frost forming onhis lips, and suddenly, the world exists in a haze of red: Loki is on his feet,his teeth sharpening even as he looks into the face of the Grandmaster, hishands clenched into fists and gleamingwith heated energy – seiðr, in its purest and unadulterated form. “I am not fitto entertain!” The Grandmaster’s hand is around his throat, his grip tight, andall at once, Loki’s magic fails him, the Grandmaster’s lip curling, and Lokiflinches at the noise as the door to Loki’s bedchambers slams shut, leaving thetwo guards outside.

“I thought youwere one of those Æsir, but you’re not, are you?” the Grandmaster says, softly,and Loki glances to the ceiling: his flesh is entirely blue, now, and the redhaze is explained by the protective lens of deepest crimson that has formedover his eyes. The blood upon his thighs is lilac, now, instead of red, and hefeels his shame deep within him. “You can’t talk to me like that, Kiki. Peoplewill get the wrong idea.” The Grandmaster squeezes that bit tighter, his griptight around the column of Loki’s throat, bringing him to the brink of choking,and then he pushes Loki away, and Loki lands on the edge of his bed.

There is somethingLoki cannot quite place in the Grandmaster’s deep, golden eyes, some strangeemotion that Loki has not seen the older man show before. The Grandmaster’sgaze flits from Loki’s face, down between his legs – he had been excited whenhe had first realised the precise natureof Loki’s sexual organs, but now a dawn seems to break upon his face.

“You got yourperiod, huh?”

“Yes,” Loki says,tiredly. “I’ve never experienced it quite so… Painfully.”

“Yeah, that’ll bethe hormone enhancement,” the Grandmaster says, lowly. Loki meets his gaze, hisown eyes lidded, and his silent, ragingquestion is answered: “Everyone one this planet is horny all the time, and withno, ah, impulse control. You thinkthat’s an accident? I’m not stupid. Gottakeep people off their game.”

The Grandmasterreaches out, and Loki flinches, expecting some sort of touch that will send himburning to ashes, or melting, but nosuch thing comes: the Grandmaster’s fingers settle upon Loki’s belly, hisusually warm hands surprisingly cool, and Loki lets out a low groan of reliefas the pain within him is steeped in some sort of magical anaesthesia, forcingthe cramping muscles to still themselves. The Grandmaster’s lips are parted,his gaze deep with something morethan mere concern at having a bed-mate put out of action, and Loki feels thefear and apprehension he usually feels around the Grandmaster stir beneath hisskin. The Grandmaster is so powerful,and yet here, he seems capable of kindness.

Is he a greaterfool than Loki had thought?

“Listen,” theGrandmaster murmurs, “I, uh, I likeyou, Loki. So I’m gonna put this little, this little  disagreement behind us. I’m gonna stay heretonight, and we’re gonna say, for, ah, appearances’sake, that you made up for that nastiness you just showed me.”

“Grandmaster,”Loki whispers, but it is not quite within him to protest, exhausted as he is,and he drops back upon the bed as the Grandmaster goes to the door, orderinghis two guards to leave him be. He watches the reflection in the ceiling as theGrandmaster casts off his outer robe, then climbs onto the bed, dragging Lokiup to lie beside him. And then—

His eyes close.

“Grandmaster?”

“Uh huh?”

“You’re… Are yougoing to sleep?”

“Sure am. Somespecies, they uh, they need a bit of shut-eye,but I just do it for the fun of it. That okay?” Loki stares at him in thereflection, and then shakes his head. “Great.”The Grandmaster drags him closer, his palm settling on Loki’s belly andreleasing more of that wonderfully numbingmagic, and Loki sighs, letting his own eyes close. “You’re my favourite, Loki.Don’t want to see the goods get too damaged.”

My favourite. The words echo in Loki’s head – he should be terrifiedof this Elder Being, this man with boundless power at his fingertips, who killsindiscriminately and laughs in the face of genocide, and yet— His favourite! His favourite! His favourite! Even bloody, and pained, and angry, you are his favourite!

Without evenrealising, Loki’s teeth burst through the flesh of his lower lip once more, andhe tastes the acid tang of his own Jotunn blood, his red eyes wide. As theGrandmaster softly snores beside him, holding Loki in his palm like the insect Loki is in comparison, Lokistares at their reflection on the ceiling, and ignores the sting at the cornersof his eyes.

#frostmaster #marvel #fanfic #dictionary writes #masterfrost #Anonymous #ask loki #t; okay to reblog #t; answered asks

[we-are-the-sickness]

All 60! 60. If you had to choose any food to eat your body weight in, what would be and why?

1. selfiemobile :( ill post one after i post this2. what would you name your future kids?as far as a boi and gorl it would be James and Vienna3. do you miss anyone?definitely 4. what are you looking forward to?uhhh well june definitely and uh OH SHINEDOWN TOUR YEAH thats gonna be good5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?theres a few :)6. is it hard for you to get over someone?it has been but u kno life goes on its get better 7. what was your life like last year?worse than it is right now!8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?o yeah for sure9. who did you last see in person?me mum10. are you good at hiding your feelings?i usually am but past few yrs im too tired to hide things lol 11. are you listening to music right now?for once i am not12. what is something you want right now?mexican food. sm mexican food13. how do you feel right now?rly tired and fibro fluie14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?few days ago15. personality description@ friends reply w what u would say my personality description is16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?WHOLE LIFE17. opinion on insecurities.its a natural thing that occures and takes time to work on18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?nope19. have you ever been to New York?nope20. what is your favourite song at the moment?the new apc song 21. age and birthday?18 and my bday is February 17th :^]22. description of crush.smol, loud, lovely, worries me sometimes, home.23. fear(s)nop24. height5'225. role modelrn my top role model is maynard 26. idol(s)ehg27. things i hateknow it alls, people who talk to me like i aint kno a subject, ppl who aren't kind28. i'll love you if...u bring me food and send me memes29. favourite film(s)all the xmen all the time30. favourite tv show(s)agents of shield, grimm, the crown, bloodline, daredevil etc31. 3 random factsi have a scar on my right templeive broken my toenails 4 days in a rowi cant ride a bike32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?both33. something you want to learnfkn everything man34. most embarrassing momentjeez i cant think of any that are still rly uncomfy anymore35. favourite subjectnone tbh lol36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?stable farm life w gfbandmusic school37. favourite actor/actresshi stranger things cast38. favourite comedian(s)JOHN MULANY 39. favourite sport(s)idk40. favourite memoryplaying w my doge outside my old house41. relationship statustaken42. favourite book(s),,maynards43. favourite song everAerosmith livin on the edge44. age you get mistaken formid twenties45. how you found out about your idolradio o i think46. what my last text message says"a good pal"47. turn onspff idk touchin feelin breathy stuff like is this a sex question or48. turn offsbeing inconsiderate 49. where i want to be right noww me pals n gorl 50. favourite picture of your idolinsert screencap of maynard feeding a pigeon from a fork lift51. starsignaquarius 52. something i'm talented atidk im sure theres something 53. 5 things that make me happymusicmy gf and friends lov u hoeswarm thingsthe sunart54. something thats worrying me at the momenta lot55. tumblr friendseveryones me frands!! 56. favourite food(s)mexican food n greek food 57. favourite animal(s)wolves, otters, doges58. description of my best friendI HAVE A FEW I CANT59. why i joined tumblrMy friend at the time said it was a cool website 60. ask me anything you wantTHE ANSWER IS OBVS MEXICAN FOODALL OF IT ALL THE TIME ESPECIALLY RN THANK U!!

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Sunshine, pt2

Author’s Notes: We are very well aware of just how much everyone loves a little angst with their smut. Here, have some angst.

Don’t forget to familiarize yourself with our casting of AOS Christine Chapel

This fic will contain shifting POV. @outside-the-government is writing the reader’s perspective, @star-trekkin-across-theuniverse is writing Christine’s. Hopefully it is easy to follow.

Tags: Are open. I think @mccoymostly wanted tagged? Word Count: 1625

Before you start, be sure to read the conversation leading to this moment: Texts, pt 1, Christine Texts, pt 1, Reader Texts, pt 2, Christine Texts, pt 2, Reader Texts, pt 3, Christine Texts, pt 3, Reader

Sunshine, pt1

Christine stopped outside her room and leaned against the wall, a debate raging in her head. Did she want Y/N to follow and confront this issue head on right away, or did she need some breathing room. Without giving her brain a chance to answer, she pushed off the wall and headed down the hall, not sure where she was going other than away. Away from the temptation to return that kiss. Away from the temptation to destroy her friendship with an ill-advised rebound hook-up. Away from the woman she’d been secretly harbouring feelings for for the better part of the ongoing mission. Christine Chapel was more than aware she could never compare to Jim Kirk, and she didn’t want to.

Blinking back tears, she drew up short, realizing that she was standing in front of Leonard’s room, her hand already raised to knock on the door. She knew how the evening would end, if she knocked. She was drunk, Leonard had likely been drinking too, and their shared poor decision making would feel great in the moment, but in this particular instance, lead to regret. She also realized Jim was probably still on the other side of the doors anyhow. Bursting in to announce that his very-recent-ex had made a pass at her was probably not a wise move. She dropped her hand without knocking, and continued down the hall to the officer’s lounge.

Stepping quietly to the replicator, Christine punched in the sequence for chamomile tea, and drew in a deep breath as she waited for it. She tapped the view screen and turned the large squashy chair that was everyone’s favourite around so it faced the stars, flopping down with a ragged sigh. Chris had joined Starfleet to see the universe, to make a difference, to learn. She wasn’t sure what this most recent lesson was supposed to be about. Restraint maybe. The bitterly unfair nature of the cosmos.

She sighed again, Y/N’s name leaving her lips in breathless resignation. When she’d admitted she loved Jim, Chris’s heart had broken. For Y/N as well as for Chris. When the tears had come, it had been only natural to draw her friend into her arms, cradling her there. Chris’s fingers had tangled in Y/N’s hair as she smoothed it, and she’d thought little of the way Y/N’s head had laid against her breasts until Y/N had moved, pressing her nose into Chris’s neck, the breathless kiss against her collarbone. Even thinking about it again brought the same shock of desire, the same accelerated heart rate, the same insistent pull in her belly that left her aroused and wanting. Chris’s fingers traced along her collarbone, tears springing to her eyes as her fingers found the spot that still tingled from Y/N’s kiss. She didn’t hear the officer’s lounge doors open.

“I’m sorry, Chris.” Y/N’s voice was too quiet, and the heartache dripped from the few syllables.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N,” Chris looked up as Y/N stepped in front of her. “This is all on me.”

It had taken you a good fifteen minutes to calm yourself enough to get to your feet.  The adrenaline that rode in on the tide of regret over your actions toward Christine had reduced you to a shaking, sobbing mess, with your heartbeat thundering in your ears and your breathing coming in short, ragged gasps.  It had taken a little while for you to break through the fight-or-flight and then you’d finally stood and paced around a little while before deciding that for better or worse, you had to go and find Christine. 

As you left her quarters, you hovered outside the door for a moment, collecting your thoughts and wondering where on the ship she would run to when she needed space.  Considering yourself, knowing that you’d run down to hide in engineering if you were in the same position, you made your way toward the med bay with anxiety coiling in your stomach.

A quick check of the nurses’ desk proved fruitless, and when you asked around it appeared as though none of the other nurses had seen Christine since the end of Alpha.  Sighing, you abandoned the med bay and instead went to search elsewhere.  The commissary, the rec room, and the greenhouse in the botany lab had all proved empty, and so you headed off toward the officers’ lounge.

You struck gold there, and you paused when you spied Christine’s soft, blonde locks tumbling over the top of a chair facing the window, the scent of chamomile in the air.  She was quiet and you worried that she’d dozed off there, but you swallowed your anxiety and stepped forward, moving to her side.  You made an apology, however tremulously, and hoped against hope that she’d accept it.

Her dismissal of your apology sounded hollow, even to your ears, and you shook your head.

“You didn’t ask for this,” you murmured.  “And I never should have…”

Should have what, exactly?

Clung to you?  Come undone at your proximity?  Shut off the part of myself that wants you desperately?

“It wasn’t what it seemed like,” you finished instead, however lamely.

The silence between the two of you hung so thick in the air that you could have cut it with a knife, and it nearly choked you.  You couldn’t stand it, but it was still infinitely better than the query Christine posed next.

“So I was reading too much into it when I thought you might have feelings for me?”

Christine Chapel had never been a wilting violet, and she wasn’t going to become one now, no matter how complicated her feelings were. It was better to just face everything head on and get it over and done with. Which was why, when Y/N found her in the officer’s lounge, she just… asked.

Y/N blanched. And had the look of a deer caught in a pair of very strong headlights to her.

“Uh,” she paused. Christine blinked once, slowly, trying to force the tears back. It was no worse than Roger rejecting her. No worse than when Spock had thrown Plomeek soup at her. Except it felt so much more horrible, waiting. Not knowing. Wondering what the fuck was going on. With Roger, it had been simple, he loved his research more than he loved her. With Spock, even simpler, he didn’t love her at all. But Y/N was her friend, and a close one at that. So what had prompted the kiss? Was it simply the heartache of Jim, or was there something else? Had Christine been so busy pushing her not-entirely-friendly feelings down that she hadn’t noticed that Y/N was showing signs of similar romantic inclinations despite the budding romance with Jim? She wanted to scream in frustration and then demand answers.

Y/N looked so terrified, so scared, so goddamn lost that she didn’t dare. Instead, her words hung between them, the rejection of Y/N’s silence tearing through her in a way no man’s rebuff had ever felt. She drew in a deep breath and let it out, allowing the the tears to fall.

“You know what? Never mind,” she shook her head, pushing herself out of her chair. She abandoned the tea beside the vacated chair and looked at Y/N. “Forget I asked.”

You were terrified that it was over before you’d even had a chance to say anything when Christine stood, sidestepping her chair to put it in between the two of you, giving you some space.  Her expression was the strangest, scariest mix of calm and injured and you wracked your brain desperately for an answer that wouldn’t send her running again.

“Chris, wait,” you said weakly, shaking your head.  “You weren’t reading too much into anything.”

She observed you warily, waiting for something else, some other rebuff, and finally dropped her guard a bit when she realized that her demeanor was part of what was keeping you from speaking.  You took a steadying breath and gestured toward the doorway.

“Can we take this somewhere more private?”  You asked quietly.  “Let’s go back to your quarters.”

Christine waffled for a few moments, debating on whether or not she was ready for the inevitable heartache your conversation would leave her with, but eventually she agreed.  The two of you left the officers’ lounge and made the journey to her quarters in silence.  You watched her as she typed in her security code, releasing the lock you’d set when you’d left, and your heart beat heavily in your chest.  Gone was the soft, gentle Christine that had worked her way into your heart, replaced with the cool, stoic woman you were used to seeing in med bay instead.

“As I was saying,” you said suddenly, wanting to get back into the swing of things before your anxiety overwhelmed you and you ruined any shot you had at saving your relationship with Christine all together.  “You weren’t reading too much into things.”

You followed her as she crossed the room and sat on the far end of the couch, watching you as you did the same.  You left just enough room in between the two of you to give Christine some space, but you refused to distance yourself any more than was necessary, and so you slung an arm over the back of the couch to support yourself with better, missing the press of a sofa arm behind your back.

“Maybe it was the wrong time,” you continued on.  “Or maybe it was just wrong, but damn it, I do feel something for you.  Something… more than all that we’ve already shared.”

#star trek imagine #imagine star trek #Christine Chapel x reader

[letitbx]

Nashville & greys 💕 (let's hope this doesn't attack your inbox again)

Send me a show/fandom and ill answer -

Nashville

Top 5 favourite characters: Literally in this order. 1) Rayna Jaymes, 2) Deacon Claybourne, 3) Daphne Conrad, 4) Juliette Barnes, 5) Bucky Dawes Other characters you like: Emily, Glenn, Liam, Luke Wheeler until he became an asshole, Sadie StoneLeast favourite characters: Scarlett O’ Connor, Maddie Conrad, Cash Gray (does she count?), LAYLA GRANTOtps: Deacon Claybourne and Rayna JaymesNotps: Everyone else tbh. Favourite friendships: Rayna/Sadie, Deacon/Avery, Rayna/Juliette, Deacon/Juliette, Scarlett/Maddie, Scarlett/Daphne, Rayna/BuckyFavourite family: The Claybourne/Conrad/Jaymes clanFavourite episodes: Holy hell too many to list. I’ll do my favorite Deyna ones: 1.01, 1.12, 1.18, 1.19, 1.20, 1.21, 2.12, 2.20, 2.21, 3.01, 3.16, 3.19, 3.21, 4.08, 4.09, 4.10, 4.11, 4.20, 4.21, 5.01, 5.02, 5.07, 5.08 (that’s where the season stops what a beautiful eight episode series finale)Favourite season/book/movie: Probably one. Favourite quotes: Every word ever written in the script for Rayna Jaymes. “What am I supposed to do, hand him a balloon every time I see him I like him fine.” “There’s thinking about doing something, and then there’s just doing it.” “That felt like yesterday.” “That’s the thing about being an artist, we feel, very deeply, all of the time. And it’s a blessing, but it’s also a curse.”Best musical moment: Rayna and Deacon singing “No One Will Ever Love You” in 1.02 and trying with every fiber of their being to NOT kiss on stage. Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: The elevator kiss in 1.12. THEIR FIRST KISS IN THIRTEEN YEARS. When it really disappointed you: When they killed Rayna Jaymes off. Saddest moment: See above answerMost well done character death: As much as I hate to even type this…Rayna Jaymes. CONSIDERING. SHE’S THE ONLY. CHARACTER DEATH. Favourite guest star: Laura BenantiFavourite cast member: Oh my god are y’all playing. I’m not even answering I THINK YOU KNOW. Character you wish was still alive: …Rayna Jaymes…One thing you hope really happens: Rayna pops up in the series finale and is liKE SURPRISE BITCHES I’M NOT DEAD I WAS JUST SLEEPIN’ I’VE BEEN IN LA THIS WHOLE TIMEMost shocking twist: When Rayna’s little bitch ass chose Luke instead of Deacon. Or when Juliette found out she was pregnant. When did you start watching/reading?: Summer of 2015, when season three had just ended. Best animal/creature: Fuckin’ SueFavourite location: OH MY GOD. Either the Opry or the BluebirdTrope you wish they would stop using: I don’t know…?One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Showcases the city of Nashville as well as the music business. Funniest moments: Deacon’s sass. Also Daphne’s face in 5.06 (???) when Maddie was telling Rayna off about Clay. Couple you would like to see: Deacon and Rayna backActor/Actress you want to join the cast: None they already don’t know what to do with the actress they have. Favourite outfit: Anything Rayna has worn. With a side ponytail added. Favourite item: Deacon’s “Deacon” guitar strap. Or the Rayna Jaymes guitar picks. Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: A shirt from when I saw some of the cast live. Does that count?What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: …The Claybourne/Conrad/Jaymes fam……..duhMost boring plotline: This Scarlett/Gunnar mess. Also anything with Maddie. Most laughably bad moment: THE ENTIRE 48 MINUTES OF 4.18. Best flashback/flashfoward if any: All of the Deyna ones tbh, but probably the ones in 2.01 or in 5.11 during the interview Deacon was watching. Most layered character: Deacon Claybourne. He has so many demons and he’s just so relatable. Most one dimensional character: Scarlett O’ ConnorScariest moment: THE CAR ACCIDENT. You can decide which one -_-Grossest moment: Luke/RaynaBest looking male: Charles EstenBest looking female: Constance Elaine (Connie) Britton (nee Womack)Who you’re crushing on (if any): Connie Britton. Rayna Jaymes. Favourite cast moment: Nashville for Africa shows or the On the Record specials. Favourite transportation:Cars as long as Rayna Jaymes isn't in themMost beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): The wedding scene, the cabin scene in that episode, Deacon/Rayna writing/recording Hurricane, the makeout scene behind the bowling alley, so many really.Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: Every continuity issue ever. Don’t even get me started. Best promo: The wedding ones. Still shook watching those. At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: In 1.02 when Deacon and Rayna sang together at the Bluebird

[magicmenageriestuff]

3am Eternal (Live at the S.S.L.) – The K.L.F.

( The Ancients of Mu Mu )

*

Alien 3  –  Paranoia In Pinewood part 2

The six stages of Film Production : as seen carved into the wall in Pinewood, Studio Five, by someone presumably better-versed in the industry than I :

Wild enthusiasm

Disillusionment

Panic

Search For The Guilty

Punish The Innocent

Reward The Non-Involved 

The above quote from the diary I kept in 1991 while filming Alien 3 in Pinewood Studios.  I released it into the atmosphere as My Pop Life #171 – Praying For Time.  I think it’s time for part 2, don’t you?

*

Somebody send me a clean version of this picture.  thanks.

Things settled down a little after the heart-thumping and deeply paranoid first month recorded in the previous episode.  No one was sacked.  I don’t think.  No one was re-cast.  There was a terrible accident one day when Sigourney’s make-up lady Linda was standing in a doorway on set – one of those science fiction doorways with a sliding panel which goes up and down with a swish.  It was a wooden contraption with a weighted pulley which failed, and it came down suddenly onto her face, right onto her nose. I wasn’t there but it was a nasty accident and she was rushed to hospital.  We never saw Linda again. Later I learned that she didn’t want to claim the medical expenses from the company, but having had a facial reconstruction and various operations I think that she eventually did settle.  Dangerous places film sets.

The cast of Alien 3 with David Fincher on set, 1991

My relationship with Sigourney had subsided into a kind of sulk, and although she would make the odd remark, the earlier fire and brimstone had calmed down a bit.  Not that we’d made up at all.  Sadly we weren’t friends.  I’d confided in other cast members – Niall Buggy thought I was completely bonkers “What are you talking about Ralph, she’s lovely!”  Pete Postlethwaite and Phil Davis felt the same way.  Dhobi Oparei too.  I was happy that they were enjoying working with her, but just as I started feeling cornered, there was Charles Dance asking me how it was all going as we waited for a set-up.  I think I was tentative at first but eventually told him what had been going on.  He confessed that he’d had the same kind of experience. “Is that how you’re going to say it?” and all of the paranoia about how clean he looked, other competitive nonsense.  I felt relieved that I wasn’t going totally mad.  It was only people she had scenes with where the behaviour occurred.  Wait – was Charles Dutton also having this relationship with her?  No.  He was a friend already and he was not the enemy.  Charlie and I have been firm friends ever since.

Charles Dance as Clemens

One day on set Sigourney and I had a scene on a balcony, after the fire. Men had died.  The Alien was trapped, locked in a loading bay. Dutton and his men were praying below us.  The scene wasn’t going well.  But we got it at around 8.00pm and Fincher pulled me aside.  “Dude.  She vampired that scene. Don’t worry I can cut around what you did, we got it.  But you’re letting her get to you.”  I think I said that I was trying to stand my ground.  “If you ever need to leave the set, take five minutes, regain your centre, just say it OK?  I got your back.”  It was another welcome acknowledgement that I wasn’t paranoid.  I went home, cuddled my lady and gritted my teeth for the long haul.  I had to try and protect my performance at the end of the day, that was what mattered.

the balcony scene is in the “director’s cut” on the DVD

As the weeks progressed, all of the actors were called in every day, in case we were needed.  First thing – put through ‘the works’ – costume and make-up – and then sat in our dressing rooms to await the call, often all day.  I often went into the next-door dressing room occupied by the Prison Governor, my boss the legend Brian Glover, who’d memorably played the gym teacher in Ken Loach‘s heartbreaking film Kes.  Brian was from Barnsley and did the voice overs for Tetley Tea Bags : ‘Tetley. Make tea bags. Make Tea.‘

Brian Glover as Andrews

Brian regaled me with stories from his days as a professional wrestler, fighting on the circuit with Giant Haystacks, Big Daddy and Mick McManus. ‘There’s money in ugly Ralph‘ he would announce, his squashed ear a keepsake of his years playing rugby.  Every 45 minutes the lovely 2nd AD Marcia Gay would knock and pop her head around the door – ‘Gentlemen. You won’t be required for the next 45 minutes. Just relax‘.  This became alarmingly irritating until one day Brian swivelled his giant head in her direction and asked ‘Is the money the same?‘  Marcia was puzzled.  ‘Yes‘ she said. ‘Well Fook Off Then!‘ shouted Brian.  Rude and fucking funny.

Fincher on the camera with Alex Thomson alongside him who had taken over as DP when Jordan Cronenweth was too ill to continue

There were eventually four units running at the same time – 1st Unit with David Fincher directing and another legend Chris Carreras as 1st AD.  The eye of any storm, the 1st AD basically runs the set, oversees all of the departments and keeps a keen eye on who is slowing the unit down.  The 1st AD is basically making the film.  Chris had an amazingly calm temperament but I saw him biting his tongue a couple of times.  Years later in 1999 I would contact him and ask him to 1st AD my film New Year’s Day, which he graciously agreed to do.  Without him it wouldn’t have got made. I was going to create a link there to the blog where I talk about the film that I wrote and which actually got made.  So scarred am I from this experience that 220 blog posts later I haven’t even started to think about discussing it.  Watch this space !

Paul McGann as Golic

Meanwhile back in Pinewood, the other 3 units which might or might not need actors for any given day were :  2nd Unit with Martin Brierly directing (and Nick Heckstall-Smith assisting, whom I would also work with later), Action Unit doing Alien Stuff and other SFX, and a Fire Unit which set fire to things and put them out while stunt guys ran around with falmes one their clothes.   We were all required, at one point or another, on all of these units.  But there were interminable days when nothing happened.  Backgammon became institutionalised, with American actors Chris Fields and particularly Holt McCallany relieving us of our wages on a regular basis with ruthless use of the doubling dice. I soon saw the error of this form of time-wasting, likewise poker and other competitive pursuits. 

Clive Mantle as William, Peter Guinness as Gregor

One day when it was clear once again that nothing was going to happen a group of us decided to wander around the studio lot and see what else was going on.  Like a bunch of escaped prisoners escorted by a correction facility officer.  That was me.  We went into one of the bigger studio buildings (Alien 3 had the majority but some were still available for hire) – I can’t remember precisely who was in that gang but I think Peter Guinness, Paul Brennan, Clive Mantle and Danny Webb certainly were. Maybe Niall Buggy and Vincenzo Nicoli too.  And there was a giant pyramid structure with lights on frames around it and people with cloaks wandering about.  We’d asked permission to visit of course, and the producers knew who we were, what we were doing there.  The band was The K.L.F. and they were shooting a video for their single 3am Eternal which had been at Number 1 in the charts that January.  A video it turned out, for the US market. We watched a take with smoke and lights, bleeps and heavy metal guitar chords, acid house beats and rap, capes and cloaks. It was all a bit mental.  Then they took a break.

We wandered into the next studio through a heavy door.  And there was Kylie Minogue, dressed for the Shocked video. We were all introduced and I became suddenly aware of a tiny elfin Australian blonde woman being dwarfed by half a dozen dirty shaven-headed prisoners from outer space.  She shook everyone’s hand then gently wandered away and asked one of her people if they could ask us politely to leave.  Which we did.  Poor love.

Kylie Minogue is Shocked at the power of love in 1991

There’s a curious link here because Bill Drummond, (who with Jimmy Cauty is The K.L.F.) had worked as an A&R man for WEA (now Warners) in London in the mid-80s and had apparently spent half a million pounds on a band called Brilliant who never quite took off.  Stock Aitken & Waterman were writers & producers for Brilliant, and Jimmy Cauty was in the band along with Martin Glover aka Youth from Killing Joke.  And Stock Aitken & Waterman were now writing and producing for Kylie, along with a vast stable of acts including Donna Summer, Mel & Kim and Jason Donovan.  Kylie & Jason had starred together in Aussie soap Neighbours, and to continue the odd waltz between the 2 acts, the K.L.F. had made a single called ‘Kylie Said To Jason‘ which was a hilarious rip-off of ‘Left To My Own Devices‘ by The Pet Shop Boys.  Confused Yet ??

Bill Drummond & Jimmy Cauty

I didn’t make any of these connections at the time.  I was listening to George Michael, Public Enemy, The Breeders. Catching up with Bob Marley and Miles Davis.  Discovering Wagner – again.  Looming on the horizon was Massive Attack. The K.L.F. seemed to me a little like The Tubes, one of my favourite bands to be sure, or the Bonzo Dog Band (see My Pop Life #77), formed by musicians who wanted to lampoon the music and the industry and anything else they could gather into their fiendish net.  Like everything was in quotes. I mean who sang along with the phrase “Ancients of MuMu” without a silly grin on their face?

And of course we were still recovering from the smiley-face rave culture moment from which the K.L.F. appeared to have emerged.  In fact they were rather more like a situationist art project that wanted to burn the whole thing down.  Anarchists.  Their career was inspired partly by the theatre show The Illuminatus Trilogy, written and directed by mad genius Ken Campbell in Liverpool where Bill had been the set designer.  He walked out one day to buy a sandwich and never came back. Later he formed his Pop Group who became The Timelords with big novelty hit Doctoring The Tardis, then The JAMS (Justified Ancients of MuMu) with the single What Time Is Love which got re-issued a number of times from 1988 onward, then The K.L.F.  Their brilliant warped career  peaked a year later in 1992 at the BRIT Awards when Drummond machine-gunned the audience of music industry execs from the stage, and a dead sheep was left at the door of the afterparty with the message “I died for you – bon appetit” attached. A few months later in May 1992 The K.L.F. announced that they had quit the music business and deleted their entire back catalogue.  Other stunts followed such as the infamous burning of a million pounds, the Soup Line, the 17 Choir and other innovative ideas.  Apparently Bill Drummond lived just down the hill from me when I was in Brighton but I never met him, I don’t think.

Niall Buggy as Eric, Danny Webb as Morse

Back on the Alien3 set a few days later it was Valentine’s Day.  I had been sent a card and an AD delivered it to me as we relaxed between shots.  It was of course from Jenny my beloved.  We were not married at that point.  And I could swear Sigourney was looking over my shoulder to see who it was from.  Hahaha.  Fincher was shooting a lot of footage.  “I’m doing long pans & track so they can’t cut into my footage” he explained one day.  It meant that when we had a group scene we could open a book on how many takes it would be.  Anything under five was unpopular.  Over twelve was possible, common even.  I think we did a tenner per set-up.  Someone wrote the names down and the number they’d chosen.  Often no one would win because we went up to Take 17 and no one wanted to put ten of your earth pounds on that.

Here’s an idea…

In fact Sigourney and I had one of our scenes discussing plans regarding telling the company their was an Alien on the planet, and playing a fella who wanted to go home to his wife and kids, rather than perish in some millennial cult group suicide, Aaron ’85’ suggested a plan.  Ripley’s response was tentatively ‘yes maybe‘.  We did a couple of wide shots, then into my single.  Can’t remember how many takes it was – probably around seven or eight.  Then turned round onto Sigourney.  David didn’t like her tone, which suggested that Ripley thought Aaron was a dick.  He didn’t think that was right at that point in the story.  So. One more.  Turn over. Sound Speed. Scene 178 take 17.  Mark it. And….Action! Blah blah blah.  Cut.  Same result.  He’s not your enemy.  Take 22.  Don’t sneer. Take 29.  You think it’s a good idea. Take 34. By which time we were all so exhausted and dizzy from the repetition that Sigourney said the line in a kind of dazed acquiescence and Fincher had the take he wanted.

About a year later in Los Angeles, after the re-shoots, I had two days of ADR in a West LA studio on Olympic Boulevard.  David remembered the scene well, 34 takes.  He’d never done ADR before though – Automated Dialogue Replacement – where you can change the inflexion, emphasis, tone, shade and meaning of a line just by using your voice and matching the lip movements on screen in front of you precisely.  Movie magic.  Some actors hate it, I made friends with the process very early on after I had to voice the whole of my performance as Danny in Withnail & I for the US market. The test screenings had indicated that audience members couldn’t understand what he was saying.  Who could? I did that piece of work at Twickenham Studios in 1987 where the engineer consoled me having to re-do my entire performance at the same speed except more intelligibly by telling me that Michael Caine had done Alfie and Bob Hoskins had also done The Long Good Friday for America.  And yet we were expected to understand Stallone’s mumbles or Pacino’s – hey that’s what it means to be an outlying part of The Empire right?  I can’t remember if I’ve ever seen the US version of Withnail but I suspect it would be a bad idea.  But having said that the experience toughened me up for future sessions.  Especially the Alien 3 session which was two long days – the reason for that was the amount of atmospheric smoke and steam in the design of the film which was very noisy to produce.  Often back in the day on big movies the Sound Department knew that they were recording a guide track only, to be completed and polished in ADR.  So here we were down on W. Olympic and David says – if I’d known about ADR in Pinewood I would never have done 34 takes just for a vocal inflection…

It’s hard to recall now in 2019 how difficult that experience was.  Jenny can remember quite clearly how I would come home every day, full of doubt, full of worry and anguish, just because I was trying to do my best work.  What a fantastic opportunity for me, but you know I was running fast just to stand still.   I remember a visual image I used to produce while trying to explain it to friends, as a learning curve which came from my chest, looped back over my head and stabbed me in the back.  I wondered if, at some point, whether the fact that we were making a horror film in space meant that we had to have a horrible experience in space.  I called Richard E. Grant one day who was shooting Hudson Hawk in Italy – another picnic – and he asked me how much I was getting. I told him. He said

“well – that’s the amount of shit you have to eat then.”

I could almost understand why Bill Drummond had formed The K.L.F.

  My Pop Life #220 : 3am Eternal (Live at the S.S.L.) – The K.L.F. 3am Eternal (Live at the S.S.L.) - The K.L.F. ( The Ancients of Mu Mu )

#Alien 3 #Bill Drummond #Brian Glover #Charles Dance #Chris Carreras #Danny Webb #David Fincher #Jimmy Cauty #Kylie Minogue #Paul McGann #Sigourney Weaver #The Illuminatus Trilogy